#deeper than intended

[goosebutaustoo]

GOOFY BIRTHDAY SHIT

guess who's birthday is coming up

MEEEE

So anyways, gonna talk about how strange they are

like, you celebrate going around in a circle around the sun, and how many times that has happened, usually ads one candle to your cake. But I find it. so strange that its so widely televised that every birthday is just another party. Wouldn't it get tiring of having birthday bashes every birthday??? I like eating cake. mostly. if it s not too sugary, but like come on man. Most of the times what one is going to do is just vibe, eat some cake, hang out with friends to celebrate you're one year closer to death

and also probably trying to ignore how most of your friends may or may not have already started doing drugs. I mean, I get only one life to live and shit but dude??? at least wait until you're on your death bed and have the most WILD FUCKING DEATH BASH OF ALL TIME

maybe thats jsut me tho. Either way, I'm going to maniacally giggle as I set up a birthday discord call and just spam people with quack quack quack and then leave eating some cake. Absolute baller, have you ever just wanted to some crazy ass shit reserved for a party?? Get free food?? Be born!! It's your greatest acheivement, and BOOM!!! when you make it one year- 52 weeks of your life and you're still at least breathing?? celebrate with a shit ton of sugar and staring up at your ceiling on your birthday and wonder how the fuck you're one year older and how did you make it this far

and be proud

Simply something as simple as a birthday should totally be celebrated! Who knows, maybe you've gone through tough shit. Maybe you're battling an addiction that could kill you. Maybe you've tried some things in the past to cut your time short. Maybe you're battling an illness, no matter the kind. Maybe there are days where you just.. don't know if you can go on. Either way, you don't have to celebrate. Don't have to eat cake or be social. It's your birthday. Be proud you made it 52 more weeks.

I know I am. This year has been absolutely BALLING. It's giving 'holy shit, am I just going to stay this way forever, will things be okay, will I ever recover, will I hold on for just a little longer'

Honestly, I've had days where I was just. ready to give up. Not make it so I can yell at the world that I don't give a SHIT and I am going to LIVE. I've had times and episodes where all thats on my mind is move, move. Make it. Breath. Don't give up. Reach out where you can. but in those times, what got me moving was focusing on moving one finger at a time. Stutter my breathing, try to hum. I don't have to yell physically at the world that whatever fucking walls you shove my way I'll break it down.

Because sometimes I'm not strong enough to move through those. Sometimes I have to climb them. Sometimes I just have to wait. To break one brick at a time. It may not be chaotic, violent, or fun, but on the other side there will always be more. More ways to cause chaos, to have fun. To live, move, breath.

Every day, hell, every week may not be your week. It may not be your month. You may be struggling to even drag yourself out of bed or even eat anything. You may not be able to sleep at night but pass out while waiting for a friend to respond to a message. You may want to draw, dance, laugh, sing, write, play, but you're unable to bring yourself to. But what matters is you made it another day. You may be bored as fuck waiting. Just sitting. Doing nothing but wait.

But before you can have patience with anything, you have to have patience with yourself. break shit down. Know that some things may not last. That some friendships are bound to fade. Some days are hell and back. That one day you may die to anything. but you also have to take into account the joy and happiness you have in the present. You have to cherish who you have now, even if you know, even if it nags you that you two may split ways. However you also have to take into account that one day, things will be okay. Sure, they won't be perfect, but it'd be breathable. It'd be just enough. and sometimes, just enough is enough. It doesn't hurt to strive for better, but it hurts to shame what you have now. It hurts to lose sight of the happiness and life you have now. Rushing into things isn't for everyone. But companionship and support go longer ways that slaving away at life so you can live a 'perfect' life. Sometimes people forget to be content with what they have and strive for better.

So, for anyone who also has a birthday coming up, or simply just need to hear it: Happy birthday motherfucker

enjoy your life while you can, you never know when your book ends, but it's better to enjoy it than wait for impending doom.

#a wild geese speaks to you through a cloud of mist #birthday #deeper than intended #pep talk #note to everyone

[vispera-sabbath]

#Beef #netflix beef #beef netflix #netflixedit #beefedit #steven yeun #ali wong #stevenyeunedit #aliewongedit #tvedit #mine #graphic #my stuff #the ''rawest'' new take on enemies to lovers I've seen in a long time lol #pun intended #but this runs a lot deeper than that #it's hard to summarize it but they just ARE in each other's orbit for better or worse #I don't know how else to tag this but this show hit hard and with a lot of feelings #freaking great! #danny cho #amy lau #A24 #a24edit #tv shows

[tswwwit]

do bill and dipper ever talk about their problems or have serious conversations? We don’t see much of them in the fics— talking about the past, trauma, or insecurities, etc

Getting to that point took them quite a while, but yeah!

Dipper will occasionally talk over or bitch about his life with Bill. Opening up about his feelings. His thoughts. Get a little vulnerable, even, around his husband. It takes a bit before he can do it and get Bill to take it seriously, but that's not a fuckup Bill makes twice.

Mind you, he's still Bill about the listening. Which means about 80% of his 'advice' to Dipper is 'you should totally kill that guy', and 15% is basic commiseration couched in teasing terms. The last 5% is such shockingly insightful advice that Dipper has to do a doubletake to make sure he's still talking to the same guy. One of the perks of knowing the human mind as well as Bil does.

Bill sharing his problems, though? Whoof.

There's a guy who could spend all day whining because the last party wasn't fun enough. Bitch about other people! His day! But getting Bill to admit he has deeper feelings is a billion times worse than pulling teeth. With a crowbar.

If Dipper wants insight into Bill's deeper psyche, he's got to augur the subtle signs of it. Puzzle it out, in fact. He's gotten pretty good at guessing what's going on behind that front - but holy hell does his husband not make it easy.

#answers #These two guys are both allergic to deeper Feelings Talks so it's a pretty rare circumstance #Shit's gotta be getting Real for them to be straightforward #I imagine one of the things Dipper HAS gotten deeper into with Bill at this point is the Parent situation #Not that he was intending to; Bill just asked what was up with that and before he knew it he was spilling a LOT of feelings everywhere #Bill's advice was still 'you should kill those guys' but a little more seriously than his usual. Dipper's not sure how much he really meant #As for deeper Bill feelings I imagine Dipper has some solid intuition about how Bill will respond to certain things #But basically zero idea of his past. You know. THAT past. #It's gonna be a LONG time before that comes to light. A VERY long time.

[supercalime]

I’ve been lurking in the 911 tags for only a week and I’m already exhausted of most b*ddie shippers holy shit

#the annoying ones know who they are #this isn’t a personal attack #I truly don’t want them to become canon out of spite #why even tag your hate in the goddam tag dedicated to another ship #Tommy’s tag has a lot of hate and people talking about eddie how there’s clues etc etc #I haven’t been deeply involved in fandoms in the last few years for this exact reason #when it becomes too meta it kinda ruins it for me #people digging through interviews and trying to find evidence in situations that weren’t intended that way in the writing drains you #sorry to break it to you #but Bucky is into tommy and was since the beginning of meeting him #yall going #well actually #he’s in love with eddie but doesn’t know and misplaces it with Tommy #is tiring #I don’t know if b*ddie will be canon but not everything has to be about romance with them #they seem to have a connection that goes even deeper than romance #having them be a couple just kinda irks me #they don’t need to be two bros sitting in a bathtub five feet apart but they seem like soulmates in a way that I don’t see as romantic #I say as an aromantic person too #deep connections can be just as intense and interesting if even more than coupling up #obviously not tagging the ship name cause I’d be lynched if I do #and again this isn’t about the actual ship it’s more about the fandom and how they feel entitled to claim theories as facts #lety rambles #tommy kinard #tevan #tuck #911 #911 abc #911 show #bucktommy

[allthewhumpygoodness]

The phrase "he woke up in a nest of blankets" came to me last night and I'm still obsessed with it

#whump #whump prompt #please use this #i fully intend to also use it but you have permission #someone just. curled up in a lil warm ball under a pile of covers #too tired and weak to really wake up but just with enough energy to burrow deeper into their blankets #especially if they don't know/remember how they got there #and someone else put that blanket nest together for an exhausted and totally out of it friend who needed a warm place to rest more than any #thing #i can't

[zylphiacrowley]

Wake up call

<previous - next>

#Final Fantasy XIV #FFXIV #Final Fantasy 14 #FF14 #wolship #WoL x Erenville #Erenville #viera #male viera #X'vahl Tia #miqo'te #male miqo'te #X'vahl still trying to deny that there's anything deeper than a casual thing going on between them like bruh... #this is couple behavior you oblivious dork. #I did not originally intend on making another part between the two that I linked #but I was talking to someone and this scene popped into my head #and I'm horribly weak for the whole morning after tenderness thing #and it wouldn't leave my brain. #Me listening to *the sappiest* instrumental playlist the whole time I was putting this together like :'3 I'm fine I'm fine. #(Z was not fine).

[kittenintheden]

Hello! I never messaged someone with a headcanon/drabble request before but here we go. I bet there are many fanfics about Tav drawing Astarion so he can see himself (but personally have not seen any yet). How do you think he would pose? Would he try to hide his nervousness by going all sexy Rose-from-Titanic pose? Oh would he reject an offer before snatching up the sketchbook to peek when no one is looking?

hello anon! glad to be your first. that sounds weird? I don't mean it weird.

there's definitely a bunch of art and fics out there that use this trope, it's much beloved :D

personally, my headcanon is that Astarion is both very comfortable with being admired at his core and very used to being a tool for the benefit of strangers for, you know, the reasons. I also think (cw just in case for some trauma response discussion) he's accustomed to dissociating when things get too intimate or performative as a self-protection measure.

I think, if Tav asked, he'd genuinely want to see himself in the best light, partially out of vanity and partially out of just... genuinely needing to know he doesn't look like a monster. he hasn't seen his own face since he died. the only other vampiric faces he sees are those of his tormentor and his compelled siblings. I think he needs to know that he doesn't look like that. like a monstrous, desperate, starving, cruel little shadow of himself.

he thinks he's a monster. he always approves of you siding with monstrous things, seeing past their nature, because he thinks that's him. that if you side with that hag that he can trust you to side with him. at least he's not that. right?

so, to answer the actual question asked ;g9p8pdsyfg;hoehg, I think he would be very mindful of his posing, giving what he believes to be his best side, and constantly impatiently glancing out of the side of his eye as they work. he wants to interrupt but he forces himself still, because he's afraid to see this, but he needs to see it, too.

and I think, when he finally saw the way Tav sees him on the page, something iced over in his chest would crack. just a little bit.

#ask box #kitten writes #kitten rambles #astarion meta #astarion bg3 #bg3 #bg3 astarion #I got deeper on that than I intended to lol

[fellhellion]

“Miguel cheats on Xina and is so callous in his explanation of said act because it comes from a place of self sabotage” is one of those readings where I really like it’s implications and agree it’s plausible for Miguel to do that, but also think it’s harder to textually support.

The difference in Miguel’s reaction between Xina vs how he handles Gabriel is. Incredibly stark.

I think reading self sabotage here with Xina only really works with the cruelty of mocking Xina as she leaves or making a face at her that doesn’t seem to hint at remorse if you read that self sabotage as being either unconscious, or a deeply suppressed. Which are plausible for the character as I’ve said; but I’d argue aren’t supported within the textual presentation we are offered here into Miguel’s supposed emotional state.

Compare and contrast to the confrontation with Gabriel. Miguel is still being a dick, but it’s not the active aggravation like towards Xina, more a sense of condescending pity.

Most critically, you have the time to taken to offer small insight into Miguel feeling guilt at Gabriel trying to forgive him and retreating from that. It’s a reaction no one other than Miguel is privy to and hints at that feeling being aggravated and then suppressed. Most notably, it’s just. Not something we see replicated in his interaction with Xina.

I don’t think any of this particular reading I’m offering here negates the obvious regrets Miguel holds regarding Xina into the future of 2099 though.

Like regardless of whether you choose to read it as active disregard or an unconscious self sabotage (or both), it’s very obvious Miguel holds a lot of regret regarding tarnishing that friendship (and the unspoken love that was present there) and this manifests in one of the most notable ways through the ambiguity to his reaction to Lyla’s confession.

Like. You can essentially read quite a plurality into Miguel’s deflection/bemusement here. From his deeply complicated relationship to love and self hatred, to the fact that Xina becomes retroactively intrinsic to Lyla and that aspect offering the scene a completely new dimension, tinged with palpable regret.

I think it’s entirely plausible, given the ambiguity where Miguel’s reaction comes from to argue for that being present within this scene given not only its presentation, but that guilt over Xina is something we see present in Miguel.

#I don’t know if this is anything I’ve just been mulling over it #tldr I like the self sabotage reading and think it’s in character but I have my doubts about it being something you can substantially #evidence in the text #it’s weird because like. I think PAD’s authorial intent of Miguel just being a misogynist here actually makes the most sense w the #way the scene is presented. but because PAD is so allergic to having people criticise Dana the SINGULAR time Miguel verbally condescends #abt Dana is trying to bait Xina’s pride where he essentially implies she’s always been leagues smarter than Dana #which like. okay. but why wouldn’t that pattern of behaviour and thinking manifest literally anywhere else in that relationship #if you’re intending me to read this as a critical aspect to why Miguel is involved w Dana in the first place #(real reason seems to be just. this bizarre aversion 2099 has with actually having the cast react to Dana’s actions as more than #those of a hapless ingenue #) I’d like to be yknow. shown it more???? #so you’re just sitting there going why tf was Miguel so needlessly cruel to Xina because you just don’t. imo. get that much of a tangible #establishment of condescension being a cornerstone to Miguel/Dana’s relationship #so ur just like well that was needlessly cruel. and bizarrely so given how palpable Miguel’s regrets are now #so ur just left there w a scene that is structured in such a way as to characterise Miguel as supposedly #being genuinely callous to his ex lover and best friend #BUT because the condescension isn’t reinforced at all beyond that one line #appears like a bizarre one off that hints at deeper if unacknowledged feeling in Miguel #and it’s THAT tension imo between the authorial intent and it not being that well executed that actually provides the most fertile soil #as it were. for the reading that it’s a self sabotage #which again let me be clear I do enjoy and think is plausible #I just think PAD fell ass backwards into creating the circumstances that imply it sbxhxjcjc #tunes talks 2099 #long post

[eldritch-muppetshow]

okay, i know i’m opening a massive can of worms (mostly in regards to shipping) just by bringing this up, but i gotta ask: how old is louie supposed to be? because this one description raises so many questions

#like. is he younger than most of us assumed? #is he an adult who just feels disconnected from other adults in his life/in general? #is this just a weird choice of wording on his part with no intended deeper meaning? #shitpost #pikmin #pikmin 4 spoilers

[bethanyeliseart]

Watching Andor and rewatching Rogue One for the first time in awhile had rebelcaptain soaring above all my other Star Wars ships in terms of personal rank. In my heart, no other Star Wars ship can compare to Jyn & Cassian. They never even kissed or "were together" but the connection they had was so strong. The way they gravitated toward each other and the way their expressions showed everything they felt about the other is enough for me to make them number one.

#rebelcaptain #I used to be all about anidala but I've kinda drifted from them #anakin & padmé I now enjoy more for the art I can create for them #like they're so tragic and that generates a lot of art ideas #but when it comes to a relationship that I could have seen flourishing it's 100% rebelcaptain #their chemistry was out of this world #anakin & padmé have numerous reasons for why they were doomed and a lot of them are personal flaws and lack of communication #but jyn and cassian seemed to overall have a good understanding of the other #yes their were times they didn't fully understand the other (see post eadu ship scene) but at the end I think they did #and they literally worked so well together as a team #did I mention their chemistry #because wow those looks exchanged right before they leave for scariff #I also think a lot of it comes down to their acting and the writing too #and again with the andor show we get a deeper dive into cassian's character and see parallels with jyn #they make me so emo #this ended up being way more tags than I intended #there's still other great ships too like kanera but rebelcaptain is just a personal fav #star wars

[sanstropfremir]

do you agree that the voyeuristic nature of taemin's album was deliberate to make you feel "guilty" for looking at some of the teasers because this is his way of portraying the way he's been taken advantage of by the kpop industry ever since he was in middle school?

why is this so accusatory lmao. what are you gonna do if i don't agree? what are you gonna do if i say that I think that's too simplistic of an analysis of this work that is very clearly about the nature of self in indoctrination and how institutions specifically work to break will and make the self complicit in that breaking? what if I say that if you are just now keying in to how deliberately voyeuristic taemin's work is you clearly haven't been paying attention for the last six years?

#ill give you the benefit of the doubt but you sure phrased this bad #sure reads a lot like 'what do you have to say for yourself as a fan since its all exploitation hmmm' #and girl? go away. i dont care. thats such a shallow and pathetic reading of this meant to stoke self flagellation #kpop questions #taemin meta #anyways. there IS the likelihood that the feeling of guilt is intentional bc taemin is catholic #but personally i think its just a byproduct of the deeper themes #also bc its very alienating to your fans if you directly accuse them of being complicit in your exploitation #esp if you intend guilt in the catholic sense (needed punishment and atonement) #taemin has a very positive relationship with his fans and he constantly professes how thankful he is for them #so i highly doubt he would be specifically accusatory like that #imo its just like the rest of his solo work. meant to make you realize that you ARE a voyeur. not to punish you for it #text #answers #did everyone forget he was reading batailles for this cb. the themes are deeper than the name of the damn thing

[gently-decaying-flowers]

i have so much to say abt heartstopper s2 but i won’t write an essay so instead i will talk abt the finale.

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD

god oh my god it made me cry so hard. i am someone who struggles with eating and mental illness and nick just loves charlie so much. i see a lot of myself in charlie’s character and just seeing him have someone who says

“you’re not a burden. i’m here for you.” LIKE AGEGEGE. and it was just such and emotional scene. it was so beautiful and pulled at my heartstrings and made me feel everything.

i adore this whole- everything. i’ve been following the webtoon for like three years, i’ve read most of Alice’s books, i love the show. it brings me so much joy and comfort but also makes me so so sad.

it’s very hard to find a relationship like that. some people say it’s impossible but i can’t because i have seen that in my life. my brother and his partner are so amazing in a lot of the same ways.

i want that so bad. i think a lot of people do. so for all you other lonely heartstopper fans.

don’t give up until you find the nick to your charlie

or the tara to your darcy

the tao to your elle

it’s out there.

#wow that was deeper than i intended #heartstopper #nick nelson #charlie spring #alice oseman #tao xu #elle argent #tara jones #darcy olsson #heartstopper s2

[sea-jello]

cant believe i never shared the hc i believe in the most, but i think it’s not paint on harumi’s face, it’s actually a giant scar from the building debris hitting her when she lost her parents

she uses makeup to cover it in s8 and ofc she can’t have another layer of normal skin color makeup when she has her princess makeup on, so when lloyd sees her taking off her makeup in the beginning of the season she hides her face to prevent him from seeing the scar (idk if that’s like a cultural thing tbh please tell me if it is) and something something perfect royal princess yk, so when she’s revealed as the villain she doesn’t cover it, cause she’s not the princess anymore. she’s harumi, the leader of the sog, the little kid who was so so affected by the past in more ways than just a mark on her face. the scar was just showing everyone how it had actually changed her. in a way it’s like she’s revealing herself for the first time, too

#it’s a symbolism thing yk #i think about this CONSTANTLY #and i fully believe it #this got a lot deeper than i originally intended i was just gonna post the first bit #but then no i needed to explain myself and then it got away from me #cause when i FIRST saw her i was like that is a giant scar #but then i got on tumblr and no apparently it’s face paint #anyways #harumi my beloved #i don’t know how severe a scar from blunt force trauma could be #or if it’s even from blunt force trauma #i did a little bit of research and apparently you can get a scar from blunt force #but yk it’s a lego show #ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago harumi #harumi ninjago #princess harumi #jade princess harumi #harumi garmadon #ninjago sog #ninjago s8 #ninjago hcs #ninjago hc #ninjago headcanon #ninjago headcanons #ninjago analysis #?? #character analysis #???

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

something i’m pondering during this, the canonical ends of ted/rebecca and roman/gerri season: how often have you been part of a shippy fandom for multiple years, participating in fic/fanworks/meta/obsessing/etc., and found the actual outcome of the relationship on the show satisfying?

#i'm now taking a mental inventory of mine #i loved luke and lorelai in the revival #and grace/frankie i found really satisfying #eve and villanelle so close but then NO #we all as a tumblr society carry the great flop of post-ilu destiel #ron and hermione worked out for me (for a vintage throwback!) #anyway #i feel like most of the time fandom has dug so much deeper into these relationships than the show ever could #even if the show does intend to ~endgamify~ that relationship #so it's interesting to consider those times when your fandom feelings about the pairing really felt aligned with their outcome in caon #*canon #vs. far more commonly ...... not #dollsome's deep thoughts

[on-a-lucky-tide]

In order to become daddy, you have to do time as adorable baby boy. You'll become an otter soon though, don't worry. And when you're a delectable bear? We'll all be swooning over how handsome and safe you are. But, most importantly, you are loved for being you, whatever stage of life you are at.

Thanks, Non. ❤️

It's more amusing than anything, because I was always terrified of getting old as a kid, because getting old came with lots of changes I didn't want (like fuckin' bags of fat on my chest and shit, 🤮) , and now I'm here at 30 going "no, pls, give beer?"

I'm getting definition now, and I can't wait for the effects of T. Can you imagine being comfortable in your skin? Can you? What an amazing concept.

#that got deeper than intended #but still #Otter Phase I Am Ready

[68percentinfatuated]

There's something really scary knowing that the fics we love sometimes just disappear. Even if they're literally just silly things they still mean so much and it's so scary.

There's nothing we can do about it but download them and pray that nothing happens to them. And that's scary

There was something absolutely amazing about heatwaves. It like absolutely messed with our little community and really a lot of the communities around us. It was a source of inspiration for other fics, art, etc. But it's gone now.

If we didn't have downloads and reuploads it'd literally just not exist anymore except maybe on tbhyourlame's computer and that's terrifying to think about.

Remember to download your fics everyone, goodluck and goodnight

Ps; I have both heatwaves and (most of) helium if PDFs are needed, I think reuploads are also on Wattpad

Pss; Sorry for all the tags :(

#ive literally gone on a spree downloading my favorite fics #heatwaves was such a huge inspiration and it breaks my heart that its gone #im so glad i have it #really having like library of Alexandria dread #seeing works of art get deleted or destroyed is such a like visceral pain #i cannot even explain the dread i feel #i keep every peice of art and every piece of writing ive ever done #im just a sentimental guy but still #one of the constants in humans is our making of art #the idea that that gets destroyed or lost is so scary #its just a fic but it meant so much to us #dnf #dreamnotfound #heatwaves #ao3 #this got way deeper than intended