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jacksprostate · 2 months

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wip preview part 2 (part 1 here)

As it turns out, I'd never quite told anybody what Tyler looked like.

As it turns out, former Detective David Mills is not Tyler Durden. Cannot be Tyler Durden, because he’s living, breathing, real in everyone else’s eyes, not just mine. That I think he looks like Tyler Durden is not coincidence, but my brain retroactively applying his face onto Tyler's because, God says, I must finally be ready to face him.

I wasn’t punching myself. Tyler Not Tyler, next time I see him, will have a real bruise.

Which would usually be never, God says.

But you’re a special case, God says. A lot of people out there want progress.

We think this could be good for you.

And for Mr. Mills. He's recovering. He could use something to focus on.

It'll help his case, to work with you.

This is divine mandate.

That's something Mills has yet to be informed of, apparently.

Monday morning, I hear the archangels sing, they say, Mills hasn't responded to anything other than a direct order since he found out his wife died. Since he killed a man. One angel says to me as he spoons scrambled eggs onto my plate, you choose good men, sir. He's got conviction.

Conviction makes me think of explosives and a house following orders like a soggy bag of organs.

I think of Tyler Not Tyler with his everything-blond face and eyes like a fish rotting in the sun.

We pass each other in the hallway, led by our respective guard. I wonder if he even registers how gaunt I've become. Desiccated. If he can see how they've made me start swallowing Xanax again so I don't take up residence in his body cavity. I wonder if this is the result of brain damage. Nothing is quite the sight to see like the purpling imprint of my knuckles across the right side of his face.

When Mills speaks, I'm told it's been two weeks, and he finally responded to God's suggested experience by trying to flip the bolted down desk. I hear, Mills said no. He doesn't care about good behavior. He doesn't care about focusing. His wife is dead. If they cared about him at all, they'd put a bullet between his eyes. If he was any smarter, he would've left one bullet for himself.

Not the smartest thing to say when you're already committed.

This gets him a steady drip and a visit from two men.

The man who mops the halls, he tells me it's Mills' lawyer and the partner he had for a week on the case that sent him here. His first case in the big leagues.

You'd think after a year, they'd realize Tyler is dead and stop feeding me information. I wonder if they think this is a step in his return. Another chrysalis.

These men request to meet with me. I have never been allowed visitors. Not even Marla.

Marla hasn't called.

I'm brought to the visitation room, and Mills' lawyer might be there in the background, but it's his partner who's running the show. A black guy, old and wrinkled like a raisin in the sun. No cauliflower nose or stitches through his eyebrows.

Hi.

"Why Mills?"

Don't I get any small talk? If I wasn't on benzos, benzos, benzos, Detective, I'd be hurt. You're the first person I've been allowed to see from outside since I did what your boy wants to do and put a bullet in my brain.

He stares at me.

I smile. The cyst of flesh I've chewed away from the inside of my lip ensures it's always a bit pink.

He looks bored.

Ah.

A kindred spirit.

He made you care again, I say. That's why you're here.

Well.

Imagine, Detective. The only person to see how fucked the world is and want to do something about it, and you're told, even by him, it's all in your head.

And you rot in a psych ward for a year.

And then he walks through the door.

How would you react?

I'm my boss, proposing a hypothetical.

"Mills isn't your hallucination," he says.

Bullshit. So, everyone else can see him too.

"Mills had a wife, dogs, worked five years in homicide upstate before moving to the city a week ago. He is a real person."

In the flesh.

He repeats. "Why Mills?"

And on, and on, and my first ever visitation ends in a very dull stalemate where I visit Tyler's walking corpse in my ice cave as Tyler Not Tyler's detective partner tries to squeeze something other than the truth out of me.

I'm politely informed Detective Somerset has advised I not be involved in Mills' case due to potential violence and psychosexual obsession, and I laugh, because well-meaning men always assume God cares what they have to say. Assume their reasons are universally considered negative.

He's not caught on.

It gets made part of Mills' treatment plan, I'm told. With his little fit in the office, Mills confirmed I'm the only thing that'll shake him out of his walking coma. This is indirect for God saying if you don't do what he wants, he'll let St. Peter know to send you on down to hell the next chance he gets. As in, he'll testify against you. Heaven is a bit authoritarian.

Mills still doesn't care. We end up in a room together anyway. It seems God's smoking gun is at least as effective on his partner.

Amazing to think they've only known each other a week. But my guilt had me blowing up buildings, so I can't quite judge Somerset for his.

In this holy meeting ground of ours, I've got plenty of nice restraints on, handcuffs and ankle cuffs and a persistent level of sedation and a leash that leads right to the hand of an angel that's got a syringe with my name on it.

My remembered violence has been received well by half the guard. The other half seems rededicated to liquifying my brain.

Mills, across our long table, has nothing but his own angel on his shoulder.

Nothing in his eyes. Nothing in his face.

A changeover, but no one hooked up the second reel.

God speaks up from his seat of observation and says, "Mr. Mills, why don't you introduce yourself?"

No one's home.

"Mr. Mills. Introduce yourself."

"Mr. Mills."

I'm watching him like I'm trying to see the pollen grain movement of his very atoms, so I get to see when something starts to wake up in Tyler's stolen body. Olympic torch kind of hellfire, in his eyes. Still foggy. I wonder what they've got him on to keep him from chewing his veins out.

Deliver me.

"I don't need another crazy obsessed with me," he says, looking at God. Immediately physical, he's putting his arms on the desk, leaning forward, an automaton sprung to life.

Yeah, well. I say. I don't need another blond angel blowing up my condo and installing me as a cult leader all across the continent.

"Shut the fuck up," he mutters quick, and turns back to God. "This is bullshit. You can't make me do this. Just testify against me and send me to jail. I don't give a shit."

"Detective Somerset does," God says. "He wants you where you won't go and make someone shank you in two days."

Mills presses his hands against his head, squeezing. His hand over my bruise. I hope he feels it. He says, "I don't care what Somerset wants. I knew him for a week."

"Yet you're here because he asked you to be, David — can I call you David?"

Mills rolls his eyes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tons of pretend niceties around here, isn't it something.

"Shut up," he says.

Hey, I say. Hey. Come on.

What more can I take from you? What's the harm?

It's not like I can kill your wife.

#fight club #se7en (1995)#se7en #my writing #i need to get back on this

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player1064 · 23 days

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Carra fucking off to skiing and David and Gary are immediately going all ♥ ♥ ♥ come get your man back James

So for a prompt if you still do them: Everyone is sick and tired of carraville dancing around each other but being cowards to actually do anything about it, so to get things moving Becks starts dropping hints that he might make a move on Gary.

(next time they meet gary's neck is full of hickeys and carra is very smug. they are even more insufferable than before. roy is rolling his eyes so hard he is able to see his own brain)

LOVE the idea of becks also being in on a plot to get them together. and of everyone asking becks to do it for them bc they don't want to/are too scared/lazy/dumb to do it themselves

---

“David,” says Scholesy.

“Scholesy,” says David.

“David, he’s driving me insane. I seriously cannot take it anymore.”

David doesn’t bother asking who ‘he’ is, or what he’s driving Scholesy insane about, because it’d be the same answer as it’s been for the past god knows how many years.

“I’m sure the two of them will figure it out eventually,” he offers sympathetically, to which Scholesy just groans in frustration.

“I’ll be long dead before that ‘appens.”

“Becks, I swear, they’re getting worse by the day.”

He and Keaney are sat with Wrighty at a little table in the media lounge at Wembley, watching Gary joke around with Carragher a few feet away. The two of them seem to be in their own little bubble, completely oblivious to the others around them. Their constant laughter is loud and annoying, especially since as far as David can tell neither of them is actually saying anything that funny.

It's kind of sweet, really.

“I think it’s sweet,” Wrighty says. “Don’t you remember how intense they both were as players? This is a massive improvement.”

“Yeah, but it’s driving me nuts! I mean, this is one thing, but it’s all the stupid little sighs and the – the longing looks, it’s enough to make you lose the will to live.”

In the past few months, David has had to listen to complaints about Gary and Carragher from every single one of his old friends from United, as well as some old England teammates that have worked with them at Sky or on The Overlap. They all seem to be under the impression that something needs to be done about it, that they can’t just let it run its natural course.

They also all seem to be in agreement that the person who needs to be doing something about it is David.

He wonders absently if it’s not too late to hand the ‘Gaz’s best friend’ card off to somebody else.

“So, Carragher.”

“What about him?”

Gary blinks at David from across the table, and if David didn’t know him so well he’d think he was being deliberately obtuse. Unfortunately, David does know him, well enough to know that he really is just that stupid.

He shoots him a Look, which has the desired effect of making Gary scowl at him, and then he says “nothin’, nothin’. Just noticed you two’ve been working together a lot lately.”

Gary shrugs. “He’s a good partner, to be fair. People like our dynamic. And he’s smart, though don’t tell ‘im I said that.”

“You spend much time with him outside of work?”

Gary squints, his face scrunching up in confusion. “Outside of work?” he asks, like it’s a completely foreign concept to him. Like there is no outside of work.

Which, it’s Gary, so for him there probably isn’t.

Maybe David needs to try a different approach.

The next time Gary is in London to cover a game with Sky, David shoots him a quick text asking dinner?, which Gary responds to with a thumbs up and the name of his hotel. Whether that’s because he wants to eat there or because he wants David to come pick him up he’s not sure, but either way he finds himself pulling up outside the Corinthia hotel that Friday evening, dressed in his smartest jeans and an unfussy old blazer.

He goes into the bar area, thinking he’ll order a drink and wait for Gary to come down, but Gary’s already there, sat at the bar with Carragher.

Perfect.

David meanders over to them, feeling slightly smug that he’s still enough to tear Gary’s attention away from Jamie, that Gary still gives him a glowy smile when he sees him approaching.

When he gets to them he shakes Jamie’s hand in greeting, pressing his other hand to the small of Gary’s back as he does so. Gary startles momentarily at the contact, but he quickly shakes it off and leans into the touch, beaming up at David.

“Becks!” he greets. “Me ‘n Carra were just catchin’ up while I was waitin’ for you to arrive. He’s stayin’ here this weekend, too, y’see.”

David notices that while Gary’s nattering away, Jamie’s eyes are fixed on where his hand is resting on Gary’s back, his lips pressed tightly together. David catches his eye and winks, giving him his prettiest smile.

He figures he might as well go all in, get the whole thing over and done with sooner rather than later, so he bends his head down to kiss the top of Gary’s head while he carries on chatting nonsense about tomorrow’s game.

The kiss stops Gary in his tracks, makes him blush a familiar shade of pink and then preen a bit, smiling up at David warmly.

Meanwhile, Jamie’s looking between the two of them like he’s ready to kill someone. Gary doesn’t spare him a second glance.

“Wha’d’ya fancy eating, Gaz?” David asks softly, pretending not to have noticed Jamie’s reaction.

“Whatever you like,” Gary says, just like he always does when the two of them go out to eat. “They’ve a pretty decent restaurant here, if you don’t fancy goin’ out. Otherwise, you prob’ly know the restaurants around London better’n I do, don’t you?”

David accidentally-on-purpose runs into him at the stadium the next day, and once again asks if he fancies going out for dinner.

“Erm,” Gary replies, reaching his hand up to rub at a dark patch on his neck. “I dunno, really, not sure if there’s anythin’ else Sky wants us for tonight, y’know?”

“Carragher can come too, if he wants,” David offers, rolling his eyes with a smirk at the way Gary instantly brightens.

“Oh!” he says, a blush rising up his cheeks, “oh, alright then! Think we’re both free, now that I think about it. I’ll just go check with ‘im and let you know.”

#also gaz being completely over whatever feelings he may have had for becks in his youth #but becks is still quite physically affectionate w him. which makes gary happy and ENRAGES jamie skjdahgfajdsh #carraville #drabbles #beville #well. a bit of beville. a smidge.

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two-red-lungs · 2 years

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Heya! I was wondering if I could request a smuttyyyy David The Lost Boys x Reader piece pleaseee? Loves a good angsty maybe jealous David at that too? Thanks In advance! Love your work 🖤

ABSOLUTELY I can, bestie. I don't typically feel non-dominant towards a lot of men, but David is just 👀 spare cock sir????

Eyes On Me (Dom!David x Fem!Reader NSFW)

Summary: David can hardly stand it when other guys so much as acknowledge your existence. But if they’re dumb enough to start flirting with you? Well. That’s another matter entirely. Someone's gotta step in, clearly.

Contents: Dom/sub elements, exhibitionism, typical shithead vampire behavior, fingering, PiV sex, smoking

Word Count: 2.1K

Vampires are possessive.

You always assumed that would be the case, obviously, given their inhumanity. But they’re possessive beyond reason. Sometimes to the point of frustration, of anger. It’s caused arguments before. It will continue to do so in the future.

But sometimes it’s also just… infuriatingly attractive.

You walked the perimeter of the Double Shot ride on the boardwalk, routinely rattling the protective bars settled over each rider, just like the guy who trained you had taught you to do. Rattle, rattle, rattle. Passing sugar-hyped kids talking to one-another, young couples holding each others hands in white-knuckled grips, already bracing to be shot up into the sky.

The summer night air was muggy, even by the seashore. Your sweat was soaking through your shirt. Not the smartest move to wear a colored bra and a white shirt, old friend, you thought a little dismally to yourself. Rattle, rattle, rattle. A hand on the protective bar grabbed you back.

You looked up and came face-to-face with a very attractive man. Wild, short, curly black hair and dark olive-tan skin, a winning white-toothed smile. A lady's man for sure. “Seat next to me’s free.” He told you with a grin, jerking his head to the empty slot. “I can hold your hand so it’s not so scary.”

You huffed out a flattered laugh. “Kinda hard to operate the ride if I’m on it, right?” With a ginger smile you extracted your hand from his. His summer sweat clung to your fingers.

The man just winked at you and you sidled back to the booth, settling into the enclosed space and slumping down on the cheap plastic chair to pull the lever. Just like that, the boardwalk denizens were up and away, screaming into the night as they ascended the enormous tower. Up and down and up again, rushing through the air.

You used the hand the man had touched to wipe sweat off your neck. It was late. You weren’t thinking clearly. Your mistake, really.

Just as the ride began to slow, cycle of dramatic ups and downs coming to an end, the seething crowd that thrummed around the myriad of gated rides parted. Rather dramatically.

David always did know how to make an entrance.

Even in the oppressive heat he was all black, coat over coat, a domineering silhouette that seemed to be negatively charged to the people around him: they stepped out of the way hastily. His short, pale hair shifted in the wind, and he had that ever-present soft, smug smile on his face. Ice-blue eyes locked right on you through the glass of the booth.

You flushed and waved.

He moseyed over, leaning over the booth door. Reeking of cigarettes and motor exhaust. “Doll.” He drawled.

“David.” You countered back with a warm, fold grin.

He was leaning forward to press a kiss to your head, and paused. Something dark descending over his scruffy, permanently-youthful face. You were opening your mouth to ask him what was wrong when his hand shot out, grabbing your jaw, holding you in place. A nose carefully brushed down your cheek, lower and lower… to your neck. Taking a long, pointed inhale.

Oh shit. Random guy sweat.

You screwed your eyes shut. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Of course he’d notice, of course. Stupid vampires and their stupid heightened senses.

“...Now.” David said pointedly. Voice a low, growling register that hit you straight in your stomach and made you want to melt. “I sure as hell don’t like that, doll. Don’t like that at all.” Leather-covered fingers smoothed over your hot skin. Hovering over your jumping pulse as it kicked up a notch.

“I’m sorry.” You said reflexively. But it wasn’t enough. It never was.

The controls beeped and you slapped the power-down button. Through the glass the safety bars were lifting and people were hopping off, and the crowd was humming again, and David was gone. Watching you, probably, from somewhere. Like he always did. You shakily extracted yourself from the booth, nerves buzzing, helping people down the elevated step and holding the ride gate open. You could see the flirtatious, beautiful man approaching.

Don’t do it, you begged mentally. Don’t do it, please.

He moseyed out of the gate and stopped right in front of you, arms folding. Still smiling. “So.” He asked conversationally. “What time do you get off? Maybe you and I could grab a drink.”

You opened your mouth to reply, and jumped when a patchwork coat-covered arm stuck out from behind you and plopped the closed sign down over the ride gate. Marko materialized by your side with a little, feral grin and a wiggly finger-wave.

Uh-oh. The cavalry.

“Hey, man.” Paul appeared, too, seemingly out of thin air. He slung an arm around the guy’s shoulder, talking up a storm in that hypnotic way that he did. “Haven’t seen you around Santa Carla before. You new? Nice jacket. You know I got one just like it myself. It’s pretty sick.” The guy opened his mouth to speak but the blonde overwhelmed him, already pivoting him away towards the crowd and fishing through his riding pants pocket. “You smoke? I got something we can totally split. Hey, have you been to the bluff just a mile down west? Wicked place for a smoke sesh. In fact we could take my bike and—”

And just like that he was gone and the man was too, Marko buzzing after them with this look on his face that filled you with dread. Because now you knew for certain that that man was not going to survive to see the next sunrise.

A hand, heavy and strong, found your shoulder. You didn’t need to turn to know who it belonged to. The grip was tight enough to hurt.

“He didn’t know, David.” You protested weakly to the night air. “He couldn’t have known that…”

“That? That?” David hummed out almost mockingly, brows down. Entertained by your agitation as he rounded you like a shark circling prey. That hand on your shoulder traced your neck. “That nobody lays a goddamn finger on you? That you belong—” He was up in your personal space all at once, making you take a half-step back. He blew smoke in your face. “—to me? Because you do, doll. And you should have known better.”

You couldn’t help the way your knees got all weak and jelly-soft at his words, at his intent glare, like he wanted to eat you alive. A cat with a mouse. “David, come on…” You whispered half-heartedly.

“You know, maybe you need another lesson. A reminder you can’t forget so easily.” Just like that there was an arm around your waist and you were being crushed against his side, being marched down the boardwalk away from your post and towards his bike parked brusquely in front of the lit-up archway. You swallowed hard at the sight. His grip got tighter.

“Please, please David. Please, please, please.” You whimpered, face mashed against the gritty rooftop of the abandoned building. David always did have a thing for showing you off to the world. Telling the universe that you were his to do whatever he wanted with. That included flying you to the top of the abandoned gas station on the edge of the overgrown lot in town.

People were walking the streets below. You were barely out of sight.

David’s bare, scarred fingers squelched inside you with brutal, rapid strokes. The kind of speed and force and raw demand that made your brain go fucking blank with electrical pleasure running down your knees, locking up your torso.

He pulled his bundle of fingers out and open-palm slapped at your absolutely sopping pussy a few times, making you jump. He had you over his lap, settled cross-legged on the rooftop. He’d been torturing you like this for ages; no relief, no orgasms, not even the warm comfort of his cock or his tongue. Just coaxing, evil fingers scraping and stretching your insides until you were a leaking, shiny mess sprawled belly-down over his knees.

Fingers teased your soft, open entrance again, up and down and up and down. You moaned pathetically and let your head drop back down to the dirty grit, fists balled up hard enough that your nails cut into skin.

“Still waitin’ on that apology.” He ground out evenly, voice muffled by the cigarette pressed between his lips.

“I did apologize!” You whined out.

“Didn’t count. You didn’t mean it.” His fingers dipped into you again, jackhammering for a few excruciatingly pleasurable seconds and making your wetness fly out before he pulled back again, spreading your folds apart with damp fingers.

“I meant it!”

“Say it again, doll.”

“‘M sorry— fuuuuuck, I’m sorry, David.” You moaned. His broad index finger scraped teasingly, again and again and again, against that mushy spot in your channel that made your toes curl. “Sorry I w— sorry I was being a f-flirt. I’m yours, I shouldn’t…. Shouldn’t… oh my god—”

It was so good. So hypnotically, insanely, brain-meltingly good, feeling those fingers stretch you again and again so deliciously, alternating between manic thrusting that threatened to pitch you over the edge before pulling back into soft kitten-pets and teasing circles drawn around your abused clit.

“So whiny. Christ.” He said with a dark, ridiculing chuckle. “You trying to drown my hand or somethin’, doll? Jesus. So fuckin’ wet. Do you feel this shit?” He dragged the entirety of his broad hand flat against your swollen pussy and you whimpered in response. “He couldn’t have gotten you this fucking worked up. This sweet pussy only gets this excited for me.”

“Only for you, David, I swear.” You said almost without thinking, rocking back helplessly in his lap against the dull pleasure of his palm grinding on your clit.

“All mine.”

“All yours. David, please.”

Without any warning your world was tilting and moving: he was manhanding you like a doll, hauling you up without even a grunt of effort, setting you down on his lap. A hard, hot cock pressed against your back: you mindlessly rubbed back against it and he chuckled again. He sounded pleased.

“Want it that bad, huh?”

“Always.”

“Okay, princess.” A furnace-hot mouth latched onto the sensitive skin joining your neck to your shoulder, sucking and teething painfully as strong hands lifted up you. His bare cockhead, smooth and blunt, pressed against your sopping hole. “Can’t say no, when you’re this fuckin’ pathetic. That’d just be cruel of me.”

“God, you’re so—” You were gasping out just as he readjusted his grip on your hips and pushed, brutal and demanding, splitting you open. You parted for him with no resistance, wet and desperate and soft. He groaned wetly into your neck.

There was no time to adjust to the intrusion before those inhumanly strong hands started lifting you up and down, Double Shot-ing you on his cock. Blissfully, euphorically fast. The wet slap slap slap of your ass against his pelvis sounded loud as thunder in the quiet air.

“L-love that you’re so protective—” You dumbly rambled as David fucked you. “Like it when y-you look at me like that. Feels— fuck— feels good.”

David growled so low and so deep in his chest it thrummed against your back. “Gotta keep an eye on my girl. She gets into trouble.” His low voice was strained.

Shit, you were not gonna last. The eons of teasing had left your right on the brink. You weren’t even sound of mind enough to be embarrassed begging for it. “David, please,” You chanted, feet scrambling for purchase on the rooftop to brace against something, “Please can I cum, fucking please—”

“No.” He snarled. “You know the rule.”

You whined pathetically. “You first. Please hurry.”

Another laugh. “Don’t worry. Pretty thing like you, pussy drooling all over my cock, fuckin’ desperate for it, just… shit— fuck, fuck, doll—”

David ground you down against his pelvis hard enough to bruise, teeth buried savagely into your shoulder, cock pulsing inside of you. Head bloomed in your core. Fuck, you were not above begging, but even in the middle of his own orgasm he swooped in to save you: strong fingers rubbed tight, aggressive circles around your clit as he filled you up with his cum and that’s all you needed to black the fuck out and fly into oblivion.

You came back to yourself, shivering in the night air, with the weight of David’s heavy form pressed up against your back. You were barely aware of his fingers trailing idly over your union point, gathering cum and slick. David reached up and ran that hand down your neck: right over where you had wiped the man’s pungent sweat an hour before.

“Maybe that’ll keep the leeches away.” He rumbled behind you. His voice was softer, now. Content. Like a lion with its kill.

You chuckled weakly. “Maybe. Or I could just tell them I have a big, scary vampire boyfriend that fucks my brains out so well on a regular basis that no human can ever compare.”

“Hey, whatever works, doll.”

#the lost boys #the lost boys 1987 #tlb x reader #david tlb #marko tlb #paul tlb #my writing #minors dont look #ask box is still open for TLB!!

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another-danganronpa-fan · 11 months

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hear me out- DRDT heathers AU

I've been on a DRDT brainrot recently and it's sad to see the creator go on hiatus but I will respect what's best for them :) meanwhile I will cope by imagining them in a heathers AU (SPOILERS FOR BOTH HEATHERS *AND* DANGANRONPA DESPAIR TIME!) BOTH DRDT AND HEATHERS HAVE PEOPLE D*ING AND BL**D AND ALL THAT STUFF SO TRIGGER WARNING FOR THAT! Veronica: Xander

I know what you're thinking already: "But Teruko's the main character shouldn't she be Veronica in this AU" and I agree- somewhat. -But the main thing is that Teruko has more "unhinged" sprites than Xander, and Xander's personality just fits more with Veronica. They're both more...confident? Teruko is confident in her abilities too but she gives off more JD vibes. OH AND ANOTHER THING- in meant to be yours, "You were all I could **trust**...." just fits Teruko's overall theme of trust. And when JD gets shot, Teruko's bloody sprites would be perfect.

-And since David is part of the Heathers in this AU I can see Xander being like "They're solid Teflon—never bothered, never harassed,,,I would give anything to be like that"

-I feel like Veronica just fits Xander more than Teruko (even though Veronica and Teruko's voices are pretty similar) since he looks up to David like Veronica kinda looked up to the Heathers (even though she didn't really like them like Xander liked David), and both David and the Heathers end up being...well....you know...

-Xander's also a lot more emotional and impulsive than Teruko, just like how Veronica out of impulse decides to have sex with JD before Heather C "ends" her.

-"Dear diary: I believe I'm a good person, y'know, I think there's some good in everyone..." isn't something Teruko would say to be honest,, even in the prologue she says something like "there's no reason for us to trust each other in the first place"

JD: Teruko

-Continuing from before, Teruko would be JD in this AU. JD says that he doesn't bother making relationships because he is constantly moving from school to school, and has been taught that "life is war" similar to how Teruko has the mindset of "I can't trust anyone". And how she was also moving constantly due to medical debt.

-Another thing: Xander: "Does your mommy know you eat all that crap?" Teruko: "Not anymore! When my parents were there-"

-Before Xander betrays Teruko, she genuinely cared for Xander more than anyone else in the cast. Even though Teruko's not as bad as JD, post-chapter 1 she began to isolate herself since she knows she can't trust them like JD hated the bad people in the school.

-She has the unhinged sprites too come on- everything else I was gonna say is already listed in the Xander section, so...moving on!

Ram Sweeney: Ace

-Pretty self-explanatory- both "jock" characters who are kinda a-holes. I was actually contemplating having Ace as Heather Chandler but I really can't think of anyone else who'd fit Ram/Kurt. Ace's character has a lot more depth, but for this AU he's really at his worst isn't he...

Kurt Kelly: Levi

-In Beautiful, it's mentioned that Kurt Kelly's the smartest guy on the football team, and although that's honestly not too big of an achievement, he is smarter than all the other jocks. Levi's more level-headed and more sane than Ace, but he does have his bad moments. Not to mention he had a dark past too.

Martha: Eden

-This was also kinda what made me consider Teruko to be Veronica in this AU instead, as Eden consistently makes an effort to hang out with Teruko.

-Eden honestly fits Martha really well, especially when she brings sparkling cider to the party in Big Fun. It's just such an Eden thing to do, you know? They're both kind and innocent and deserved better.

-Xander probably would have gotten along with Eden...

Mrs. Fleming: Hu

-Although Mrs. Fleming is more of a hippie than Hu, I feel like she fits the most here. Hu is more "motherly", and more mature than most of the cast, and her constant pushing to defend Nico would also go with the theme of Mrs. Fleming getting the students to "feel".

Now, for the Heathers!!!

Heather Chandler: Arturo

-I don't know anymore man...I already knew David and Arei were both gonna be part of the Heathers, and I originally had Ace there, too, but I don't know who would've been Ram if he was. My first thought was Ace as HC, David as HD, and Arei as HM. My second thought was Arei as HC, but she gets her character development unlike Heather C (at least I didn't see any that I know of) Arturo belittles those he deems as "unworthy" similar to Heather Chandler, so I think he fits the best for now.

Heather Duke: David -They both have a greenish color scheme!!! (is David's hair green?? I mean...his bow tie is green), but on a more serious note, both David and Heather Duke start out very different than when they reveal another side to them.

-Heather Duke starts out as someone who is constantly bullied by Heather C, but develops into a jerk who tells Heather M to kill herself. David, on the other hand, starts out as a good person, but his true nature is revealed in the second trial. HOWEVER, it's implied that he isn't as evil as he seems. But, he still made fun of Arei and Min after their deaths. -Another point is that Veronica treats Heather Duke nicely as stated in the Heather Wiki- (Although, this might be because that the Wiki is probably based on the movie and not the musical itself). "Veronica Sawyer seems to have been closest with Heather Duke than with the other Heathers. Veronica helped Heather throw up and Heather laughed at Veronica’s jokes. Heather Duke seems to enjoy having Veronica around. They listen to Hot Probz together every time it is on. However, when Heather becomes an even bigger tyrant than Heather Chandler was, Veronica resents Heather Duke, especially for bullying Heather McNamara and takes over Heather Duke's position as leader of the school at the end of the film."

-Even if the movie is ignored here, Veronica didn't completely despise Heather D, until she becomes the mega-jerk she was. Similar to how Xander and David were pretty close and admired each other, but David turned out to be a manipulator of some kind, even if he's less evil than he's letting on. If Xander had lived to see David's persona reveal, he'd be shocked, to say the very least.

Heather McNamara: Arei

-If Arei hadn't gotten her character development at all, she'd most definitely be Heather Chandler. However, she did make the effort to change and be a better person, and ended up making amends towards Eden, who she bullied.

-Heather Duke also manipulated Heather M into attempting suicide, similar to the conversation David and Arei had in Chapter 2, episode 11, about how Arei said something along the lines of "You told me I could change", or something like that. This is a bit of a stretch, though.

Please feel free to disagree with my heathers AU in any way! I'd love to hear any other opinions you guys may have.

This has been sitting in my drafts for so long helpdfksfjl

#heathers #danganronpa despair time #drdt #xander matthews #teruko tawaki #arturo giles #david chiem #arei nageishi #ace markey #levi fontana #eden tobisa #hu jing #heathers x drdt

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kranagok0 · 11 days

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Oh boy, this Is a complete love square....

Guys, I don't know what I have about polyamorous romances but it's like a strange feeling of 'look at that, no one is sad and everyone loves each other.'

That just crossed my mind when I saw the new member of the trio of strange friends (now it's a quartet).

Louise is a breath of fresh air among the extroverts that make up the group.

Louise is practically an introvert. Someone closed who was even the last to be chosen on the boat trip (if we leave aside the trio of protagonists). Louise mentions that she has been in the Sparrow Scouts for some time now but has made almost no friends (or so I think).

I understand what it's like to be an introvert, more or less. I am the type of person who acts with a lot of concern, nervousness and gets serious so as not to say something stupid the first time they meet him... However, when I gain the necessary confidence I transform into someone different. I go from being 'a mouse thinking carefully about its next move' to becoming 'a monkey with a shotgun'. I hope I'm not the only one to have that strange way of being....

My life aside, I'd say Louise is kind of like that too. At first she tries to fit in by being normal with the team, but then she begins to get to know them and identify what things the trio of friends think are right or wrong and that is when Louise begins to show more of her personality. It emerges from the cocoon like a butterfly to show its true colors.

And in short: it is perfect for the trio of friends. It's so weird and different that I feel like it's necessary for the group, and I'm speaking in a positive way when I say weird. A good time.Now the main topic..... Romance.

I've seen a lot of Frida X David, Hilda X Frida, David X Frida fanfics and blogs, there's literally everything. But with the arrival of Louise the combinations are doubled. Now it could be Louise X David, Louise X Hilda, Louise

*Music from a 80's TV game show plays*

Hello ladies, gentlemen and other magical creatures who visualize us! I want to welcome you to this little head-canon idea I had of what each character in the trio of friends would be like if they were Louise's partner!

To do this, we will see the qualities of each suitor and what their dynamic with the character would be like:

Let's start with the one who represents better than anyone the shyness and courage that exists within us, he died twice to try to demonstrate it. Here we have David.

David may be a scary guy, but he will definitely come to save you if you are in danger. This kid would literally show what he's made of on a battlefield if he feels like he needs to prove something.... Don't tell me no, we've all seen the Vikings episode.

Our next contestant is not only smart in school but also in witchcraft. If you ask him about a certain topic, rest assured that when he finishes his talk you will at least have knowledge of the entire topic and its related subtopics. She is willing to do anything for her friends, she would even open a portal to the unknown and create non-existent spells just for you. Let's give a big, fervent wave of applause to the young city witch: FRIDA!

Frida may have been a bit of a perfectionist in the past, but after meeting Hilda and experiencing several events she went from being miss perfect to becoming the smartest friend you can count on. To be honest, sometimes Frida can be a bit boring, but that doesn't stop her from reaching your heart by showing great gifts of her intellect and the magic she possesses means that any topic can arise from a conversation. So, if by 'boring' we mean a lot of context and extremely long topics that she explains to you with excitement and great happiness, then boring is pretty good.

Finally we have the icing on the cake, or in this case the blueberry. Coming from the wild and with more extroverted energy than any of the other candidates mentioned above, we have a young woman with blue hair as long as she could grow it (I don't doubt that she would have let it grow longer if it didn't bother her in her adventures). This girl can literally make friends with almost anything and her circle of friends is huge, ranging from elf scribes to giants who are no longer on this planet. She would be the one to always take the first step in battle with her sword if I see it necessary and— Wait, where did he get that sword?

With you, Hilda!

Seriously, where do I get it from?

Hilda is by far the most outgoing and curious person I have ever seen. Don't you remember what Tofoten was triggered by his curiosity? Dude, it was literally the end of the series. And if you hadn't already noticed, this girl would fight barehanded against a king to save her loved ones. She would be the first to take up weapons to save her friends, she is capable of moving every rock in the entire city to find her pet, she is even capable of doing an act of terrorism just because the bells were bothering her friends.

Oh my god, I'd be afraid of this girl if I were someone who played some practical joke on David in the past or something. I would be locked up at home for what might happen to me. Better confinement than meeting Hilda on the street and having her recognize me.

So.... In a little while we will see Louise's possible choices about who she would like to be with, why I think they would be a good couple and also about what their relationship would be like. And it wouldn't just be from my point of view. Indeed, dear reader, you can also have your opinion. Comment what you think a relationship between Louise and any of our favorite trio of friends would be like.I retire to write incorrect quotes and more about this romance because I am burning with emotion. See you later

#hilda #hilda netflix #hilda (netflix)#hilda series #hilda the series #hilda the show #hilda (hilda)#hilda louise #hilda david #hilda frida #hilda x frida #hilda x david #Hilda x Louise #david x frida #Frida x Louise #David x Louise

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ladylooch · 2 months

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imagine baby winnie pulling at david’s mustache

"Winnie the Poooooh!" David calls excitedly as he walks into the backyard of Connor and Lucie's home. "How is my favorite baby!?"

Stella Wood gasps. Davey holds his hands up in surrender.

"You are a big girl, Stell. All good, okay?" Stella smirks, then goes back to where she is building her newest lego set. Across the room, Winnie Wood pushes the bottle away that her dad is trying to put back into her mouth. Connor holds it up to Davey, along with his chunky, cabbage patch of a baby.

"Win, you are the bees knees!" Davey exclaims gathering the baby and the bottle.

He supports her with one strong arm, cupping her thick thigh to keep her up while he helps Mack haul in more groceries for family dinner. They're having a whole day of hanging around and eating delicious foods. Each adult is responsible for a dish. Whoever can get Stella to eat the most of their dish wins bragging rights until the next dinner. Lio has already declared himself victorious. They all reminded him Kraft Mac and Cheese wasn't gonna count.

"Let's get you some more of this good stuff. Help you grow big and strong so you can play legos with Stelly soon." David murmurs, giving Winnie back her bottle. She happily sucks it back into her mouth.

"Uncy Davey! Can you help me with my legos?!" Stella asks. "I'm having trouble."

"Well, if you're having trouble, I'm gonna be no help. We should ask the smartest person in the room... Mackncheese?"

"Suck up." Mack chuckles. "I gotta work on my dish! We can't all put out cheese and crackers and call it a win."

"Hey! I made my own pickle- OW!" Davey suddenly yells. All the adults in the room turn quickly, then laugh at the grip Winnie has on the hairs of David's thick mustache. Luckily, her grip slips because the hairs aren't long enough for her to continue to fist on. Winnie laughs at the funny way his mustache moves as he tries to stretch out his upper lip. "That was no joke, Win." He rubs at his upper lip. "No wonder your daddy can't grow a stache." David smirks.

"Wow." Connor says, tongue in his bottom lip as he looks across the room at him. "Baby, get him again! Defend my honor!"

The adults laugh. David holds Winnie jokingly at an arms length as she curls up into a squat, grabbing at her chubby feet. She squeals. Stella squeals and the room is lost to a fit of giggles just as Savannah and Lio walk in next.

"Too much fun in here!" Lio calls. "Tone it down!"

"Buzzkill." Mack boos him as he gives her a hug. "Lio! We said no Kraft!" Mack smacks his chest, seeing the blue box tucked into the canvas bag. "Foul!"

"You're outta here!" Connor yells.

"I don't know why you are all fighting!" Stella yells over the crowd. "You know I'm just gonna pick auntie Sav."

#lio & lucie #mackdavid au #this is a queued post

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bluegalaxygirl · 5 months

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Old Friends (Zosan X Reader) P8

Plot: Reader is the 9th doctors old assistant but soon moved on to other things, joining the straw hat pirates and falling in love but now their paths cross again (only he has a new face, 10th Doctor) when they go to see an old friend in a strange hospital. Unfortunately there's some one else there that wants to start trouble.

One piece and Doctor who cross over (10th doctor), its based off the new earth episode. i thought since David tenant as the doctor is coming back in November it would be good to get this idea out.

Reader is Female (Sorry), Zoro X Sanji X reader, Poly relationship, established relationship.

Warning: Illness, Death, Bad language and Violence.

P1 - P2 - P3 - P4 - P5 - P6 - P7 - P9 - P10 - P11 - P12 - P13 - P14 - P15

Waking up Zoro tries to stand only for chains to stop him, his arms behind his back and the chains wrapped tightly around his wrists and the bars of the railing. Sanji's head lies on the swordsman's shoulder passed out and in chains too, next to the cook was the doctor, who seemed to be waking up but chopper was no where to be found "Mistress their awake" a male voice makes the swordsman look up to see a timid looking man with strange markings on his face and hands. Sanji groans as he wakes up lifting his head off Zoro's shoulder and looking around him while trying to move his hands "Hay.. You ok?" Zoro asks, the cook looking him over for any injuries "I'm ok, my head hurts though, you?" The cook asks looking the swordsman over as well before looking ahead as foot steps get closer "Aw how sweet" your voice mocks them as Casandra walks over placing a hand on your hip looking down at the three men at your feet "Casandra get out of her now" The doctor growls making you laugh with a flirtatious smile "No one orders mistress around" The man yells but your hand flips up in front of his face stopping him form talking anymore "Who is she? Where's Y/N?" Sanji looks over at the doctor wanting answers.

Casandra rolls her eyes at the blonde and decides to let the doctor explain "That is Y/N, her body at least, i don't know how but Casandra's in charge. The last human, or, so she thought being out in space for most of her life. Last time i saw her she was just a brain in a jar and a flap of skin" The doctor glares at Casandra as he talks noticing his words are getting to her a little. Casandra growls at him hearing how he talked about her old body and kick your foot against the railing right next to the head "You forgot about the part where you killed me" your voice spat leaning forward to get in his face "You killed innocent people Casandra." The Doctor leans forward yelling in your face as you roll your eyes and push off the railing. "Where's Chopper?" Zoro yells, Casandra jump slightly and place a hand over your heart "Pushy much... the fur balls fine, he's going to help my nurse with something. he'll be safe." she smiles leaning down to the two boys looking them over "Your little friend's come in handy, he'll be a big help" Zoro glares at you as Casandra pushes come hair out of Sanji's face, the cook stares wide-eyed at you as you do so. "What do you want Casandra?" The doctor yells as you finally step away from the two boys.

Your body walks over to him and steps on the doctors leg making him groan in pain "What do you think i want? Your supposed to be the smartest man in the universe right?" She asks letting out a small laugh at his angry face "Fine, I'll humor you, I need a body, one thats actually to my liking but so far iv seen nothing but weird aliens or.... defective ones" your voice full of disgust as Casandra looks over at her servant who looks down in shame since he knows she's talking about him "For now this will have to do" You step away form him gesturing to your body "she's not bad but.. no amount of plastic surgery is gonna fix this" Casandra laughs pointing to your face "Fuck you" Sanji yells out shocking almost everyone except Zoro who was actually proud of the cook for yelling at a woman "arrrr, little prince charming trying to come to her aid, now cute" Casandra mocks stepping in front of the cook "Y/N is beautiful don't you dare insult her" Sanji yells up at you his eyes filled with anger only for Casandra to bend down getting close to the cooks face "Do you think that actually means anything? Nami, Robin, Vivi, Perona, Shirahoshi, the nurses here, the list goes on and on, you call them all beautiful." Casandra states noticing Sanji's breath jagged and his eyes wide "She's not special, at least not in your eyes" Zoro's teeth clench glaring at you "Don't listen to her, she's just trying to hurt you" The swordsman growls pressing his shoulder against Sanji's.

Sanji's eyes water as he looks into your eyes "You don't understand how special Y/N is, yes all those girls are beautiful but none of their eyes shine like the stars she looks at. Everything about her is beautiful, her kind heart, how she gets so excited about the little things, the way she looks at you even when she's mad, how cute she looks while drawing or thinking, how her face lights up when ever she takes about something she loves, the way her fingers glide over a page as she reads... you have no idea how special she is" Casandra didn't even know that your hand moves to the cooks cheek wiping away a tear but when she does the woman forces your body and hand away "Such a sap" She comments glaring down at him "Mistress, they have the DNA" Her servant runs over holding a small strange device in his hand that's used to communicate "It's about time, tell her to find the cloning machine and make me a body" The servant nods stepping away seeing Casandra still angry but soon her face turns into a smile, she can have some fun now. Casandra steps closer and sits on Zoro's lap straddling him, the swordsman glares as your face smiles at him and leans closer "Until then, i have time to kill and i want nothing more than to make these two suffer for killing me" Pulling out the switch-blade from your back pocket Casandra presses the tip to the swordsman's neck with a smile "I'm gonna make her watch as i gut you two.. Or should i say as she guts you two." Casandra laughs pressing the knife further forward but stop when Zoro lifts his head back making his neck more exposed.

Your smile drops, Casandra knew the two wouldn't hurt you but she thought they would at least put up a fight. "Y/n begged me to help you, she didn't want you to die but i held her back... punish me not her" The doctor yells trying to stop her form hurting anyone else, gritting your teeth your eyes shift to the doctor a feeling welling up inside that makes her feel sick, not you but Casandra "Liar" She snarls trying to stop whatever this feeling is while watching the doctor shake his head. "You can see her memories right? That's how you know about the straw hats and her relationships... just look and you'll see" his voice almost begging, pushing off Zoro's shoulder you stand up with a growl gripping the knife tightly "It doesn't change anything." Your eyes glare at the Doctor before your eyes turn to Sanji and slashes the knife towards the cooks face "Don't" Zoro yells out in anger trying to get free but his eyes widen when seeing your hand stop just before connecting. Sanji looks at the knife then up at you, your hand shaking slightly as Casandra fights for control that feeling growing stronger "Fuck you" Casandra yells mainly to you trying to get control of the arm back "Mistress?" The servant try's to step in only to get a very pissed off look from Casandra making him cower stepping back. Your hand opens letting the knife clattering onto the ground, Casandra pulls the arm into your chest panting and groaning as the servant try's to comfort her from afar. Zoro lets out a laugh making Casandra turn to him in anger "I know my girl, she's a fighter. Y/n won't give up easily" his comment makes Casandra see red and kick at the swordsman's head but misses going into the railing as if someone pushed the leg aside.

It stays there as Casandra tries to calm down managing to gain control of the arm back as the Doctor pleads with her to stop. "She wants to fight? Ok.. She gets a fight" Casandra sighs pushing off the railing and walking over to the wall behind her, taking in a deep breath she uses all your strength to punch the wall, pain shoots through your body making you both scream out in pain as the skin on yoyr knuckles splits open. "Mistress careful" the servant walks over but gets shoved away and onto the floor. "You bitch" Sanji yells out anger seething through him. Casandra turns to the three blood dripping from your hand and giggling "It's seems she's finally got the message" The woman looks over your knuckles which are now a bloody mess. "As long as her body still functions it doesn't matter if i hurt her, when i get my body i'm done with her and i can do much worse" Casandra laughs looking at the blood stain on the wall "I'm going to kill you" Zoro whispers gaining Casandra's attention who looks over at the green haired man before walks closer and squatting in front of him "What was that sweetie?" your voice so soft yet so fake "I said... i'm going to kill you" the swordsman's eyes glare into yours, a burning fire of rage. "I kinda see it now.. you're hot when your angry" she smiles standing back up but what she doesn't realize is Sanji had kicked the knife behind him after you dropped it and Zoro has been using it to break the chains.

As you stand Zoro lunges at you out of the chains and hand round your neck pushing your back into the wall "Mistress" the servant yells out as Sanji and the doctor yell "Zoro" Your hand goes up to stop your servant form doing anything "It's ok, he's not squeezing, he wouldn't hurt her, too soft" Casandra smiles running your hand up and down his arm "I've had enough, let her go now" The swordsman's voice commanding but it doesn't scare her "Or what?" the hand around your neck tightens making Casandra gasp and grip his wrist "Try me" Sanji tries getting up glaring at the swordsman as panic fills his body "Zoro, what are you doing?" the cook yells only earning a short glance form Zoro before looking back at you. "I said let her go" the rage in his eyes now started to scare Casandra, you can still breath it was just uncomfortable "Y-you wouldn't... you couldn't h-hurt her" Casandra stutters fear filling her mind as Zoro's grip tightens a bit more making her squeak and push your foot into his chest but your leg refuses to push even though Casandra ties her best to make you do so. "Zoro stop." The doctor and Sanji yell trying to brake the chains. "What are you doing? Let her go, That's our Y/N" Sanji yells his heart pounding in his ears. Zoro didn't want to do this, but he knows your strong and you were fighting to get out, he also knows how much you can take, you train together all the time and you have fought side by side, you've taken much worse than this. Even now he can feel you fighting Casandra, your leg hardly pushing against his chest even though your face shows Casandra's trying to force it.

"What is going on?" a female voice sounds out, a nurse looks you all over giving Casandra enough time to reach up and pull a bunch of wires out hoping to use them to somehow hurt Zoro but instead Alarms go off as the pods open. Zoro lets go of your throat as you let go of the wires in shock of what's just happened but the swordsman grabs you arm. "Let go" Casandra yells trying to get him off as the sick start stumbling out of the pods "What have you done?" The nurse yells trying to run away but gets cornered the sick touching her, bumps and scars start appearing on her body as she screams out falling to the floor. "M-Mistress what have you done?" the servant stutters walking back looking for a way out. "Ok, i didn't mean for this to happen" Casandra clings to Zoro for safety but the swordsman goes to Sanji pulling at the chains and managing to get them off him while Casandra panics running to the doctor and getting the chains off him "I'm only doing this because you guys can protect me" she snaps unwrapping the chains. Sanji gets out of the chains and grabs Zoro shirt standing up with an angry look "What the hell is wrong with you?" The cook yells only to notice the sick heading there way, now is not the time for a fight. Casandra gets the Doctor lose before gripping onto Zoro again, Sanji pulls you in between him and Zoro keeping you safe. As the sick keep coming out of the pods the servant gets cut off form the rest of the group and tries to make a run for it only to get caught in between two groups of sick. "Mistress?" He calls out, the doctor goes to help but your arm garbs him "Leave h-" Casandra try's to say but your jaw clenches again to the point of it hurting as if your telling her to shut up.

The sick closing in on him, the servant screams while getting grabbed and pulled to the floor. The doctor pry's his eyes away and looks for a way out soon spotting some metal stairs that go up and down the middle of the center. Heading down the stairs Sanji and Zoro keeping you close trying avoid the sick stumbling around as they follow the doctor. "There" Casandra yells pointing at a single door that none of the sick are near, it was different to the other doors locked with a pad lock not a key pad. Following her direction you all head that way, the doctor using his sonic screwdriver to open the pad lock and pushes the door letting you all in before close it behind you all using the pad lock to secure the door. The sick bang on the door as you all run down a long brick stair case leading you all into another room where you all managed to stop and take a brake from running. "Oh come on" Casandra groans letting go of the boys and walking into the room, the same room she's been in for years, the door upstairs has always been locked, but she never thought she was that close to sick people, it made her feel sick. "Casandra" The doctor calls looking at the broken machine in the room realizing what it is and what its made out of "This is illegal tech... Is this what you used?" The doctor turns to look at Casandra who just shrugs "What do you want form me? It's the best i could do with what i have" Your voice sounded annoyed and fed up "That converter is banned throughout the universe, your compressing Y/N to death" The doctor yells pointing at the broken machine. "Maybe thats what i want" Casandra hates this place, all she wanted was a body of her own and now she's in this mess.

Zoro and Sanji glares at Casandra, not only as she taken over your body, but she's killing you too. The cook's the first to move, walking up to you as she turns to him and crosses your arms over your chest "Let her go now" Sanji's tone changes into a much deeper and commanding one, It spooks Casandra a little she didn't think he would be capable of talking to a woman like that but then again he did yell at her before and call her names. "I have nowhere to go.... my body's destroyed and my brain is dead" she points to the empty stand and dead brain in a jar. "Than you'll just have to be atoms in the air. Leave her Casandra" the doctor looks over at you his face uncaring and angry. Zoro stands next to Sanji staring down at you "Let her go, i'm not gonna let you kill her" Your eyes shift to the swordsman gritting your teeth "Says the man who had his hand around her throat" Zoro steps closer getting close to your face with an unnervingly calm face "And yet you couldn't make her push me away" His voice was calm too which spooked her even more, gulping you body steps back. Sanji's hand grabs onto Zoro's arm pulling him back slightly "Please, let her go, let us have her back" The cook holds back his tears but Casandra see's this as an opening.

Casandra starts to fake crying looking up at Sanji with tears running down your cheeks and sad eyes "I don't want to die" She puts your arms around his waist crying into his chest only for Zoro push you off and away form the cook. Sanji surprisingly didn't stop him just gritted his teeth and looked away while holding onto Zoro's arm. Sanji hated doing this, he wanted to hold you and wipe away those tears, but he wanted you back, the real you. Getting angry Casandra steps back and thinks for a moment, If she can't hurt them with force or emotions then maybe words. "Why does she like you two?" she smiles wiping away the tears with ease "Casandra knock it off" The Doctor yells knowing what she up too but Casandra continues first looking at Sanji who still refused to look at you "You're nothing but a immature flirt. I used to have boys like you wrapped around my finger, on their knees begging for just a touch." your words spat as you turned to Zoro his eyes fixed on yours showing no emotion "And you a dumb brute, no brains all brawn... i used to fuck your type for shits and giggle" she glares at him neither one of them showing any kind of emotion, it was pissing her off, this kind of thing normally works so why isn't it. "That's enough Casandra, its over. Get, Out, Now" The doctor steps closer making Casandra smile getting an idea "You know, i said to myself that i would only pick the pretty girls but.. a pretty boy would do" she blows out a large puff of multi colored cloud once it all left, your body drops to the floor, Sanji and Zoro ran catching you just before your head hits the concrete floor. The cloud flows into the doctor as he steps back and tries to regain his balance.

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mlwritersguild · 1 year

Text

(can't get used to) letting you go, by @multimousenette

Based on David Benjamin's Lay Low (acoustic), submitted by @bugchat

AO3 link; Pre-Reveal, Post-Hawk Moth Defeat, Adrien adopted by Amelie, Fluff and Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort

Summary:

Chat Noir's father is missing, and he is ordered by the court to move in with his aunt in London. Over the next few years, he and Ladybug rarely see each other, but each time is special.

-------------------------------------------------

Golden sunlight bathed Ladybug’s face, and the rising sun brought warmth back to Chat Noir’s limbs. He smiled down at her, though his eyes were full of sadness, and his long canines worried at his lip. She shifted in her sleep, burrowing deeper into his shoulder, and grunted softly.

He turned his head and pressed a gentle kiss to the tip of her nose. “Sorry,” he murmured as she stirred. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s fine, kitty. Thanks for letting me sleep.” She sat up fully and stretched, her back popping, then smiled at him. Her smile warmed him more than the sun could ever hope to, but there was a cold pit in his chest that she couldn’t pierce. Not today.

“My lady,” he said, mouth dry. “I— I need to tell you something.”

“What’s up?” she replied brightly, then frowned when she saw his expression. “What’s wrong?”

When the words wouldn’t come, he closed his eyes and turned away from her to practise the deep breaths his therapist had taught him. “My father is missing, and the court said I have to move in with my aunt,” he said in a rush, “who lives in London. I— I can’t exactly tell them why that doesn’t work, and my aunt can’t move here because my cousin is studying at UCL while living at home and he’s an underage student so he can’t really move into student accommodation, and anyway they’re the ones accommodating me so how could I ask them to move here? So— so I have to live in London,” he managed, breaking off abruptly. His eyes were hot with tears, which he brushed away angrily. “You’ll have to find another Chat Noir.”

Ladybug stilled, entirely unmoving for the first time since he’d met her.

“Oh, kitty,” she murmured, wiping away his tears and cupping his face. He leant into her touch, still sniffling. He hated himself for crying in front of her. He was the one making everything more inconvenient, after all. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “I know your dad was… difficult, but it must still be hard. Are you okay?”

“I really don’t want to move,” he admitted, his voice small. “I— I didn’t really have friends growing up, and now I’ve finally found some amazing people and— and you , and Plagg as well, and after my mum and my dad’s secretary, what if my aunt gets sick too?” he paused, trembling. “What if I’m the problem?”

“You are not the problem,” she said sharply. “If I know anything, I know that. And I know you think I’m the smartest person in Paris,” she teased, “so you have to trust me.”

A slight smile twisted his lips. “I do trust you, my lady. With all my heart.”

She stood up, shook out her legs, then offered him a hand. She was all business now: there was a familiar glint in her eyes. Ladybug was plotting.

He let her pace around the top of the Eiffel Tower for a good five minutes before reaching out and taking her hand. “Ladybug,” he said, and she stopped. “It’s okay. You don’t have to fix this.”

“I—“

“I’ve thought it over and over,” he continued. “I’ve considered everything. But I don’t have a choice. I have to go. And it’s— it’s not that far to London. My friends can visit. I can visit Paris. But I— even with Monarch gone, you’ll need a cat with you. Without the butterfly and peacock safely in your hands, Paris remains at risk.” He faltered, but closed his eyes and pressed on. “I know you’ll find someone fantastic. I trust you.”

“No,” she said. “No. I won’t. I— you’re losing everything. I won’t take this away from you too. If nothing else, I don’t think Plagg would ever forgive me.”

Chat Noir managed a shaky smile. “You might have a point,” he said. “But—“

“No buts,” Ladybug interrupted. “I have Rena Rouge and Carapace and all our other heroes. Besides,” she added, a soft smile on her face, “how could I hope to replace you, kitty-cat? You’ve already made me try once, and it didn’t exactly work out. Not that I’d want to even if it could work,” she added hastily. “I just mean—“

“I understand.” He opened his arms, wrapping her in a tight hug when she pressed herself close against him. “Are you crying, my lady?”

“No,” Ladybug said thickly. “How— how long do you have?”

“A week,” he said quietly.

“Okay,” she said. “Okay.”

----

“We could run away,” Ladybug said, speaking before she’d swung down to sit beside him atop the Arc de Triomphe. “ You could run away. I’ll tell my parents I found a stray and—“

“A stray superhero?”

“I don’t know,” Ladybug mumbled. “We could find somewhere.”

Chat Noir smiled at her, though he knew it didn’t reach his eyes. “That sounds nice,” he said. “Tell me more.”

“Maybe the mayor would let you live in the Grand Paris?”

“About living with you,” he corrected gently.

Her cheeks coloured and she glanced away. “It was silly, I’m sorry.”

“No, I mean it! Indulge me. Do you have an attic? A secret basement?”

“A bakery,” Ladybug said. “We’d get you to work at the bakery, in costume, of course. Plus a personalised apron, made by yours truly. You’d have your own pastry shaped like a cat, that only you make.”

“You’ve never seen me bake. I don’t think I’m up to scratch . Put me out front, we’d be the most popular bakery in Paris!”

She rolled her eyes, giggling. “You couldn’t tell anyone you were Chat Noir, of course.”

“I think they’d know.”

“It’s like, an open secret.”

“What about my civilian identity?”

“Ladybug and Chat Noir looked for him but couldn’t find him anywhere.”

Chat Noir laughed, but shook his head. “I uh, I suspect it might be a bigger deal than that.”

“Oh, full of yourself today, aren’t you?”

“Well, I am somewhat of a celebrity.”

“Sure, and I’m Adrien Agreste,” Ladybug joked. Chat Noir shuffled around and lay in Ladybug’s lap. She smiled down at him and absently ran her fingers through his hair.

“Want some lunch?” she said, after several minutes of companionable silence.

“I just lay down,” he complained.

“And I can’t get up, I’ve got a cat in my lap,” she agreed. “But if you’re not hungry…”

She reached into her yo-yo and pulled out a sandwich. He sat up, almost bumping his head into her chin. “No, I’m always hungry,” he said.

“Good, because I bought more,” she replied.

He cocked his head to the side and watched, wide eyed, as she pulled out more sandwiches and cake and fruit and a bottle of lemonade and two glasses and a picnic blanket. He blinked. “Just a bit,” he said.

“I, uh. I’m going to miss you,” she admitted, standing up to lay out the blanket. “I thought we could have a picnic or something nice to remember. I don’t know. It’s silly.”

“It’s not silly, Ladybug,” he said, “it’s… thank you.”

She plopped down beside him and ruffled his hair, then reached over him to grab a handful of grapes.

---

“ Meow’s it going,” Chat Noir said, padding up behind Ladybug, who was sat on the bank of the Canal Saint-Martin.

She jumped, froze, then turned around slowly, as if she couldn’t believe what she’d heard. When she saw Chat Noir, she squealed and threw herself at him, sending them both flying.

“Miss me?”

“I didn’t know you’d be back today! You should have told me, I’d have planned something—“

“I know,” Chat Noir said, “that’s why I didn’t tell you. I’m here for a week, my aunt is taking us on holiday.” This wasn’t completely true — it was Amélie’s idea to visit Paris, but they were there for six weeks, had already been there several days. He’d forced himself not to rush straight to Ladybug’s side the moment they arrived, just to keep his identity a little safer, though she was bound to notice that Chat Noir and Adrien Agreste visited Paris at the same time at some point. At least Adrien had been able to see his friends already: Nino, Marinette, Alya, Chloé, and all his other friends had made it much easier to be apart from his beloved.

“How are you?” Ladybug was saying, having scrambled to her feet. She offered him a hand up, which he took, and immediately began examining him. “Is England okay? Have you made new friends? What’s school like? Is that facial hair ?”

He laughed. “Facial hair does tend to happen at some point, my lady. Do you like it?”

She examined his jaw critically, then patted his cheek. “It’s fine,” she said. “Bit patchy.”

This was the understatement of the century — he had grown a whopping total of ten hairs, each of which he carefully shaved flat. He grinned and swept her into his arms. “I’m okay,” he said. “England is fine. My school is fine, it’s an international school so I‘m still doing the bac instead of A Levels. Fé—I mean, my cousin is a bit of a pain but I’m out of the house most of the day so it’s fine. Yes, I’ve made some friends, but none as lovely as you, my lady.”

She rolled her eyes fondly. “Well I hope they’re pretty close. Only the best for my chaton.”

Her chaton. He basked in it for a moment. “I hope you can meet them one day,” he said.

“Me too,” she said. “When’s your aunt expecting you back?”

“Uh, I don’t know. Midnight?”

She grinned. “We’ve got time, then. Follow me.”

“Anywhere.” He couldn’t be sure if she heard his whispered response, but her face softened and a fond smile crept to her face as she tossed him a space power up potion and transformed into Cosmobug.

“We’ve got to fly,” she explained. “It’s a little ways out.”

A little ways out ended up being almost fifty kilometres, but they could fly at over a hundred kilometres per hour without much effort, and the half hour flight passed quickly as the two fell back into their comfortable rapport.

“Disneyland?” Chat Noir raised an eyebrow, smirking. “You must really like me.”

“Oh, I’m not paying for tickets, don’t worry. Come on, up here.”

They landed atop the central tower and Ladybug descended to a section of roof without spikes and patted the space beside her. He sat obediently and she wriggled closer. It was getting late now, the sun low in the sky and bathing them both in warm light.

“The fireworks don’t start til half nine,” she murmured, “but I think the sunset is just as beautiful.”

He smiled, watching as she gazed into the distance. “Yeah,” he said. “Beautiful.”

She sniffled quietly, turning away when she noticed him watching.

“Crying over me again, Buguinette?”

“You wish,” she said, but her face was blotchy red, her nose dripping, tears cascading down her face. He hesitated, unsure quite how to react, then pulled her onto his lap and rubbed her back.

“Hey,” he said, “hey, it’s okay. I’m here.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, taking in juddering breaths. “I wanted — you to have a good time and now I’m crying on you and it’s you whose life has been all messed up and lost your parents and now I just brought your parents up when I’m supposed to be giving you the best day and you shouldn’t have to comfort me — god I’m the worst — and now I’m spiralling and I just. I just wanted to — to…”

Chat Noir blinked slowly, trying to process the few words he could catch as they fell out of her in one huge, jumbled mess. “Hey,” he said again, “you didn’t need to do anything special to make me happy.” He paused, trying to order his thoughts into something that made sense. “I’m happy you wanted to,” he tried, “I mean, you did, right? You took me to watch the sun set over Disneyland. Who else could have done that? But you didn’t need to.”

“But—“

“If you came to see me in London,” he said, “would you expect me to take you to — I don’t know, Legoland? — it doesn’t matter where, would you expect me to take you somewhere special?”

“No, of course not.”

“Exactly. So why would I expect that from you?”

“I don’t — you wouldn’t. But—“

“My lady,” he said. “You’ve already given me the best day ever, just by being here.”

She managed a wobbly smile, and her cheeks reddened as he brushed away the worst of her tears. “I did miss you, chaton,” she whispered. “I missed you so much. I—I don’t want you to go.”

“I know, my love,” he replied, pressing a gentle kiss on her forehead. She tensed and he pulled back immediately, already opening his mouth to apologise when she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. “Oh,” he mumbled, melting into her, sunset forgotten.

In the very back of her mind, Ladybug knew Alya would have a field day with all the photos submitted of Ladybug making out with the missing Chat Noir atop Sleeping Beauty’s castle, but she didn’t care. She pressed forwards, wanting to be closer, always closer.

When they broke apart, he wrapped his arms around her and just held her.

---

Friday 12 July 21:00 BST, top of the London Eye .

Chat Noir hadn’t left her any more information. Alya was sure it was a trap, and Tikki was suspicious, but Marinette didn’t care. There wasn’t a question in her mind — the message had come from Chat Noir’s communicator, in his voice, and as far as she was concerned, the reward far outweighed any potential risk. Besides, she’d left Alya with the horse miraculous just in case. She hurried downstairs, kissed her parents on the cheek, and told them she was heading to Alya’s. Once outside, she ducked into an alleyway and transformed into Cosmobug.

She arrived in London ten minutes early, but had to download a map of the unfamiliar city to her bugphone. She ended up swinging down onto the London eye at 20:57 — early, for once.

“My lady?”

“Chaton?”

He dropped down beside her and she gripped the roof of the capsule tightly to stop herself flinging herself at him. He grinned. “What, not going to bowl me over this time?”

Her eyes glinted. “If that’s what you want,” she challenged and launched herself forwards. She wrapped her legs around his waist and looped one arm under his shoulder/armpit, the other sending her yo-yo flying towards Elizabeth Tower. When they reached the zenith of the swing, she used their momentum to throw him upwards and catch him again, this time with his legs around her waist, her arm wrapped tightly around his back. “You’ll have to give me directions,” she said. “I dont know where we’re going.”

Chat Noir had booked a table at the Sky Garden, complete with an artisan cheese board, which she suspected was Plagg’s suggestion, and a bottle of rosé champagne.

“Very fancy,” she said, taking a sip.

He shrugged. “I wanted to treat you.”

“I feel very spoilt, mon chaton, but you didn’t need to... to do any of this.”

“I know,” he said. “I wanted to. Besides, I have something to tell you, and I want to make it special.”

“Something to tell me?”

“Not yet,” he teased, wagging a finger.

She screwed up her face in a pout, leaning across the table to get closer. “Tell me,” she implored.

“Finish your cheese.”

She almost threw a piece of camembert at him, before remembering where she was. Instead, she rolled her eyes, and stood up, holding her champagne flute in one hand and reaching out the other. “I’m going to look at the Thames,” she said. “You’re welcome to join me.”

He popped a last bit of cheese in his mouth and took her hand, grabbing the bottle as she pulled him away.

“So?” she said, scratching him under the chin as he lay his head on her shoulder. The sun was just beginning to set, casting pink-gold light over the two of them. “What did you want to tell me?”

“I got a nineteen on my bac,” he said.

“Chaton, that’s amazing! You must be so proud!”

“And,” he continued, “I got accepted at PSL. I’m coming back to Paris in a few weeks.”

She stared at him. “You— you’re coming back?” she said, her voice small.

He straightened up and nodded, eyes shining with tears. “I’m coming home. You — you don’t mind?”

She covered her face with a hand as it twisted up and tried to choke back her sobs.

“Buguinette? Are you upset?”

She shook her head wordlessly and all but collapsed in his arms. “You’re coming back?” she repeated between sniffs.

“I am,” he said, rubbing her back and pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. “And this time, I’m here to stay.”

“You mean it?”

“I mean it.”

---

“How was your first day?” Ladybug asked, squeezing Chat Noir’s hand as they lay on the roof of their apartment, basking in the last rays of the setting September sun.

“Tiring,” Chat Noir admitted. “Boring. We mostly went through admin. But next week we properly start and I already like my maths professor, so I’m looking forward to it! How about you?”

“I think a lot of this year is basic stuff, you know, draping and different stitches and figure drawing, which I’m pretty good at already. But that means I shouldn’t have to stress too much, which is a relief. But I’m really looking forward to the fashion history class,” she added, rolling onto her side, eyes bright. “The lecturer is so cool, and I love her style, and we get to pick who we want to write our essays on and it’s just going to be so much fun!”

Chat Noir grinned and settled back to listen. She already had ideas of who she wanted to study, but it was so hard to choose, and they were taking trips to fashion archives and just imagine all the history and—

“It sounds right up your alley, my lady,” he said when she stopped. “I can’t wait to hear more.”

“And I can’t wait to learn all about organic chemistry from you,” she replied, eyes glinting.

He groaned, dropping his head into his hands. “Don’t remind me,” he said, dissolving into laughter as she giggled at him.

She poked his side and snuggled in beside him. “I’m glad you’re home, chaton.”

He squeezed her closer. “You’re my home.”

“You’re so cheesy!” she cried, lapsing back into laughter. “Come on. Let’s see if my parents have any pastries left.”

#ml writers guild #august event 2022 #multimousenette #miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug fic #ml fic #mlb #ladynoir #ladybug x chat noir #ladybug #chat noir #lovesquare #love square #miraculous tales of ladybug and chat noir

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livesincerely · 2 years

Note

can i request two?? is that allowed?? cause I just scrolled back to find your heartstopper AU and I haven’t gotten around to seeing the show yet but it’s seriously making me want to and I was wondering if you’d write anymore for that verse???

(also omgggg the other one was so cute 🥺 domestic au my beloved)

Jack stares at him for several seconds, his mouth pressed into a tight, unhappy line. David just shrugs at him, musters up the tiniest of smiles:

It’s okay, Jack. It’s okay.

Jack’s expression shifts again, but it’s not the relief, the ease, David had hoped for. Instead he rolls his shoulders back, his jaw stubbornly set, closing that last bit of distance between them in a handful of steps.

David can only watch, frozen, as he approaches, his heart fluttering nervously in his chest, and when Jack reaches out for his hand it’s deliberate—no, defiant—the press of his palm strong and steady against his own.

Jack leads them both off the field, right there in the middle of the match, right there in front of everyone, David following, dazed, a half step behind him.

“I don’t want to break up,” Jack says, the second they’re alone. “I don’t— I know you’ve been hurt before, an’ I know you think I’m better off without ya, but I need ya to know that my life is so much better with you in it.”

David shakes his head. “You don’t have to—“

“I do have to,” Jack insists, and there’s a spark behind his eyes, something heavy in the weight of his gaze. “And I’ll keep sayin’ it until you believe me.”

“Jack—“

“You think I care about gettin’ in’ta fights?” Jack asks, stepping closer. “About any of those asshole’s runnin’ their mouths? I couldn’t give two shits about that, Dave. I care about you, about bein’ with you. That’s what matters.”

Jack takes a breath, then continues—quickly, like he’s afraid David will interrupt him—with, “You are the smartest, kindest, most generous and carin’, amazin’ person in the whole world, okay?”

“Jack,” David tries again, a hint of a smile—a real smile—curling at the edge of his lips.

“An’ if you really wanna break up then I guess I’ll jus’ hafta deal with it, but I want us ‘ta stay together—“

“Jack,” David says, a ferocious joy taking root in his stomach, blooming so quickly that his whole body feels warm with it.

“You’re my favorite person in the whole fuckin’ world, Dave—“

“Jack.”

“You gotta believe me—“

“Jackie,” David says, cupping Jack’s face between his hands until their eyes catch, gazes lock, and Jack finally falls silent. “I believe you.”

David sweeps his thumbs over the soft swell of his cheeks, pulls him closer—always closer. “I believe you.”

Jack doesn’t seem convinced, searching David’s expression like he thinks he still needs to plead his case, and it’s the easiest thing in the world to lean in and soothe those fears away with a kiss.

Jack surges up into him, his mouth moving in perfect tandem to his own, his hands landing on David’s hips and drawing him in tight to his chest. David lets himself be held, lets himself be kissed and kisses right back, hands curled around Jack’s shoulders, threaded in Jack’s hair, each beat of his heart whispering, found you, found you, never letting you go.

It’s hard to find the will to stop, as tangled up in all things Jack is David’s favorite place to be, but eventually he pulls away.

“We’re…” he starts, more than a little breathless. “We’re standing in the middle of the hallway.”

Jack tilts his head, glancing left and right as if he hadn’t realized.

“Yeah, and?” he asks, with one of those charming little half-grins of his that never fails to make David’s heart skip a beat. “Who cares?”

#*ask #*editor's note #*the writing desk #newsies #javid #heartstopper au #🤗🤗🤗

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omgsquee2001 · 2 years

Note

Hi I was wondering if you could do a lost boys fic about how to boys would react/ help you While well you are studying for a permit/license I really need some motivation to keep studying please

I 100% know how you feel. I believe in you! I’m 20 years old and I have my permit. It took me, like, 20 years to finally take my permit test and I passed. I believe in you, anon. And if you need to, just take a break. There’s nothing wrong with that. You are going to do amazing when the time comes. I believe in you!

~~~~

David:

//not mine//

“So, what exactly are you studying for?” David asked, looking at you from your spot on the couch. You were studying to try and get your permit so that you could legally start driving.

“I’m trying to study for my permit. My permit is my ticket to legally start driving.” You said. You were writing down notes, trying to take in as much information as you could. David hummed. He jumped over the couch and sat down next to you, observing you. You kept moving your head from the book to your notes, trying to make sure that you got everything correct.

“When’s your test, kitten?” David asked. You didn’t look up at him when you responded,

“In two weeks. But I have to make sure that I’m ready.” You said. You sighed as your hand cramped up again, setting down your pencil and rubbing the cramped spot. David had noticed that you had been working nonstop for the past two days, rarely stopping. David sighed and took the pencil out of your hand.

“Hey! I need that!” You protested. David took your book and notes, setting them aside. He looked at you, taking your hands in his.

“Kitten, listen to me. You are the smartest human I know. And I also know that you need to take breaks. You’ve been studying for this nonstop. I know this test is important to you, and so is taking breaks and giving your mind a chance to process everything. You’ve got time before your test. And I promise I’ll help you study. For now, let’s forget about your test, go up to your room, and cuddle for an hour, then we can work again.” He said. You sighed and looked at David again.

“But,”

“No buts, Kitten. Cuddles and then study.”

~~~~~

Dwayne:

//Not Mine//

Dwayne watched silently as you kept whispering to yourself, writing something down then returning to the pages of a book your had open. Dwayne tilted his head in confusion. Feeling his eyes on you, you looked up at him.

“Can I help you, baby?” You asked. Dwayne kept looking at you.

“What are you working on?” He asked. You sighed and looked down at your book and paper.

“I’m working on studying for my permit.” You said. Dwayne stared at you in confusion. You chuckled and shook your head. You had forgotten that Dwayne didn’t really know what a permit was, considering he was from a different time then you were, being a Vampire and all. “A permit is something that legally allows minors at the at the age of 15 or 16 to drive.” You explained. Dwayne hummed.

“Do you need help studying?” He asked. You looked up at him and smiled.

“Some quizzing would be nice.” Your belly growled a little. “And some snacks might be good to.” You said, chuckling. Dwayne smiled.

“Quizzing and snacks, coming right up.”

~~~~

Paul:

//Not Mine//

“Babe! Come on, you’ve been studying for like, an hour!” Paul whined, laying on his back on the couch. Paul was supposed to be helping you study for your permit test, but so far, all he’s done is try to make out with you, try to feed from you, or try to annoy you. You groaned.

“Paul, I have literally been studying for thirty minutes! You are supposed to be helping me study, but so far you’ve managed to distract me via making out, trying to get a snack, or just pure whining.” You said, glaring at him. Paul blinked.

“Is it working?”

“Oh my gosh! You know what, if you’re just going to distract me, you can leave.” You said. Paul sighed.

“Fine! I’ll help you study!” Paul whined. He sat up straight. He looked down at your paper. He then made a face. “Babe, you do realize the only thing you’ve written down here is “Paul is so annoying but I love the goofball anyway”.” Paul said. You tried to bite back a smile creeping onto your lips. “You little cheater! You weren’t studying at all!” He shouted, smiling. Before you could move away, Paul pulled you into his arms and started tickling you. You let out bursts of laughter, trying to get him to stop.

“Okay, okay! I’m sorry!” You shouted, laughing. Paul let up, hovering over you while you lay on the couch. Paul smiled down at you.

“How about this,” he leaned down and gently kissed your neck. “I’ll study for an hour,” he made his way up you jaw. “And in return,” he pressed a kiss to your cheeks. “You have to make out with me for an hour.” He pressed a kiss to your lips. You chuckled.

“How about, you help me study for an hour, and I can reward you with something other than making out.” You compromised, dragging your finger down his exposed chest. Paul smirked.

“I like the sound of that.” He leaned in for another kiss, but you pressed your hand against his chest, pushing him back.

“Study first!”

“Damn it!”

~~~~~

Marko:

//Not Mine//

“Babe.”

“Marko.”

“Babe.”

“Marko.”

“Babyyy! Why aren’t you looking at me!”

Marko had come over to your house unannounced, not that you were complaining. However, you were studying for your permit test, which was a pretty big deal, at least for you. You sighed and looked at your boyfriend.

“Marko, I told you. I’m studying for my permit test.” You said, turning back to your notes. Marko sighed.

“But studying is soooo boring!” Marko groaned, laying on the couch and sliding down to lay on the floor. You chuckled lightly and looked down at him.

“Have you ever had to study for anything?” You asked. Marko hummed.

“I don’t think so.” He said. You smiled and poked his nose with the eraser of your pencil.

“Exactly. So you couldn’t possibly know if it’s boring or not.” You said, turning back to your notes. Marko sat up and got back on the couch next to you.

“But just watching you study, it already seems boring!” Marko said. You sighed.

“Marko, if you’re just going to complain, you’re more than welcome to just leave.” You said. Marko shook his head.

“No, no! I’ll be quiet!” He said, sitting down and putting his hands in his lap.

“Thank you.” You said, going back to your notes. However, you also knew that it was nearly impossible for the younger vampire to actually sit still for more than a second. You sighed when he started wiggling. “Babe, if you really want to speed up the process of my studying, you could help me study.” You said. Marko perked up.

“Ooh! Let’s do it!”

“And no ripping up my notes so that I can’t study!”

~~~~~~

//I hope this is what you wanted, Anon. If not, I’m more than happy to rewrite it!//

#the lost boys x you #request #David x Reader #paul x reader #dwayne x reader #marko x reader

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stfu-im-thinking-abt-blorbo · 1 year

Text

Thoughts about each TDI Reboot episode, starting at 1. SPOILERS UNDER THE READMORE.

Chris' new voice is certainly... a change. I don't mind it, and I think Terry is getting his acting and emotes for him right, but it's definitely gonna take some time to adjust and not immediately think it's Don.

"Hey, what's up I'm here to slay" from the intro is killing me in the best and worst ways. Rip the old intro song.

Also there's a very VERY small detail for the campfire. When Raj looks back to the screen, only one of his eyes follow. Either an animation error, or he has a lazy eye.

It's been 15 years since the beginning of the show in canon?? That means the gen 1 and 2 casts are roughly between 28-31 I think?? And yet Chris and Chef Hatchet don't look any different. Also since og Island premiered in 2007, this one is taking place in 2022 and NOT 2023.

Either way this gives me a good excuse to practice character design with a 15 years timeskip and make adult designs for the gen 1 and 2 casts.

Priya. WHAT. GIRL GO TO THERAPY AND GET AWAY FROM YOUR PARENTS. Also Owen cameo.

Bowie is gay like I thought he'd be. Now way he wasn't a reference to David Bowie. Getting some vibes of him being the new Heather tbh.

I, like many others, thought Ripper was going to be the new Owen. He's only a small bit Owen with a dash of Duncan, and a whole lot of Scott. Respect to Ripper for how spicy he likes his food, tho lol.

Chase and Emma are exes. Chase is a YouTube/Twitch personality T-T. Here's hoping that Emma broke up with him bc she's a lesbian. Really want her and Bowie to be besties.

Scary Girl's real name is Lauren >:(

Zee is both the smartest and dumbest character. I want him to be the blorbo of the season, but I'm getting the feeling it's gonna be Bowie.

Wayne: "What'd you think, Rajey?" 🥺

Nichelle is the only one to not get an audition tape. Interesting. Also a Madonna reference?

Julia called herself an influencer. She better be an early boot for that.

MK, Axel, Caleb and Damien are the only ones I don't have any comments about. Sucks 'cause I was hoping I'd really like MK and Axel.

Drone of Dispair. Somehow the worst idea yet lol. Can't wait for a joke about one of the contestants flying over private airspace and getting shot.

Ripper called himself the alpha male nooooo

EVEN BOWIE IS CALLING WAYNE AND RAJ GAY LMAO

And Bowie immediately goes to the girls' side of the cabin to talk shit about Chase with Emma. Love them sm.

Ripper: "Where'd you get the soda from??"

Zee: "...I have no idea."

Rip Bowie's heart glasses, hope cartoon logic kicks in and he has a million of then.

If Damien thinks they can't show Ripper's censored ass on TV, then I wonder what his reaction would be to a show like Naked and Afraid.

Emma and Chase didn't break up over lesbianisms unfortunately. But messing up her car's breaks and causing her to crash is still a valid reason for her to break up with him and be incredibly upset. Like, he could have killed her, other bystanders, or any of the puppies at the shop she crashed into. Yet I think the show is treating Emma as being unreasonable? It's just a prank bro.

Also MK calling Emma out for saying 25% of the money instead of half like she did when talking to Bowie earlier. Maybe there's more to the break up story?? Like she's lying?? But that still wouldn't make sense if the show is already treating her as unreasonable beforehand. Idk.

Bowie really do be like "are the straights okay? 🙄"

Raj: "Wayners" 😭

Also Wayne and Raj both have the same accent as Ezekiel.

Goodbye Caleb, we barely knew ya. Have fun hanging out with Staci and getting no character development like her. Maybe one day he can come back like Justin.

BOWIE IS THE NEW HEATHER, I WAS RIGHT AND HE IS GONNA BE THE BLORBO

Overall, fun first episode. Not a smash hit or anything, but a pretty good hook. Also the animation and character design is such an upgrade. I was hesitant about the new cast's designs, but actually seeing them in the show and moving makes it work so much better to me. After rewatching the first half of og Island, it is amazing to see how far this show and its animators have come from 2007.

#spoilers

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themosleyreview · 1 year

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The Mosley Review: Best Films of 2022

Welcome to 2023! Of course we can't start off this new year in cinema without taking a look back at the best films of the 2022. As always, I have compiled a list of the films that I personally loved and especially the ones that moved me. This year was particularly surprising and I can't wait to share it with y’all. Now you may not agree with me on some of them and that's okay. All film is subjective and you can have your opinions, but these are mine. If you want a more detailed review of each film listed, then simply click the title of each film. So, lets get to it!

Jackass Forever: In my youth, the show and films brought so many laughs, cringes and sickening feelings as these professional idiots would do the most outrages stunts that captivated my generation. When it was announced that they would return once again to bring more outrageous comedy and stunts, I was genuinely excited and scared for them. From beginning to end, the Jackass team did an hilarious and amazing job at delivering another outstanding adventure. It was great that they introduced a possible new generation of professional idiots and I'm curious to see where they go from here. It all ends with a loving, hilarious and heartfelt tribute to Ryan Dunn that was perfect. He was truly loved by the Jackass Family and fans.

Violent Night: I'm a sucker for a film that has a great amount of Christmas cheer and a great portrayal of Santa Claus. If you told me that there is a Die Hard styled Christmas film where "Scrooge" is a version of Hans Gruber and Santa is the John McClane, then I'm there opening night. This film delivered on that promise in gory and explosive creative ways. Not only did it deliver on the action, but it had such a warm feeling of a child's pure belief in Saint Nick and it was the driving force of the film. David Harbour was an amazing Santa and I loved that he went into the history of the legendary character. John Leguizamo was awesome as "Scrooge" and their scenes were great together. It will forever be on my list of must watch during the Christmas season.

Barbarian: Its such rich concept that I'm surprised it really took this long for a film about a nightmare scenario in an AirBnb. When it comes to films and especially horror films, I tend to stay away from the trailers because they reveal TOO MUCH of the creepy moments. I took a shot in the dark with this one and I'm so glad that the first trailer gave you no real idea of what the film was about and that's why I felt this film was so refreshing. I was genuinely surprised by the palpable tension of the plot, the makeup effects, social commentary and much more. The characters were excellent, but Georgina Campbell was was a true standout in a brilliant performance.

Bullet Train: The premise of the film is very much Snatch and Smokin' Aces and that was a positive in my book because even though that style is great, many have abused it over the years. This film learns from those films and takes you on one of the most smartest, funniest and exciting rides of the year. The entire cast was stellar and the action in the film was the icing on top of this wonderfully crafted dish. Bryan Tyree Henry and Aaron Taylor-Johnson stole the film as a dynamic duo that I would love to see a prequel spinoff about their characters. The amount of set up and pay off was elegantly handled in the most creative ways and I loved that each assassin was so distinct. I can't gush enough about how much I loved this film.

The Whale: Brendan Frasier, Sadie Sink and Hong Chau. Do I really need to say more?! This film was a fascinating and heartbreaking story that had amazing performances from the whole cast but the 3 aforementioned, destroy you in so many ways. Aside from his charming and fun personality, I knew Brendan had the dramatic power in him all these years and like most, the right story was waiting for him to sink his teeth in and he went all in. It truly was a powerful film about reconciling and reconnecting with family that was haunting and shouldn't be missed.

The Batman: Out of all the live action adaptations of easily the most beloved hero, Batman hasn't had a film that served Gotham and himself in his early years. This film did all of that and something that I've been waiting to see done on the big screen for decades. We finally get to see Batman portrayed in a true detective story. Robert Pattinson gets to play with a younger Bruce Wayne that's only 2 years into his vigilante lifestyle as Batman and the secrets that he finds out about his family and even Alfred, were so compelling and brilliantly designed. I loved that we got a look into the psychology of Bruce being a recluse and not yet creating that billionaire persona for the public. Jim Gordon was awesome in this film and I loved Jeffery Wrights chemistry the most with Robert. Zoe Kravitz was an excellent Catwoman and I loved her origin story. Paul Dano was a fantastic modern version of The Riddler that was heavily inspired by David Fincher's Seven and the online streamer generation of today. Colin Farrell was the MVP though as the best on screen version of The Penguin. There is so much to love and so much that they got right in this film and I cannot wait to explore this version of Gotham more. Michael Giachinno's score is as iconic as Danny Elfman's 1989 Batman score as it invokes the terror Batman brings to the hearts of criminals.

The Northman: What can I say about this film that hasn't been said already? Its the perfect and most accurate Viking film I've ever scene. The tone, the brutality, spirituality and story twists were all amazing. This was probably one of the most gorgeous films of the year as the lighting of every scene was magnificent and the fights scenes weren't overly stylized. It may be a simple story of vengeance, but it does have an emotional core that surprised me. In the end, I felt my blood pulse through my body from the sound design of the film and especially the final fight scene. This was a Viking masterpiece as the first trailer that was released promised it to be.

Top Gun: Maverick: Very few films get a sequel almost 30 years later that are of this quality. What's even more rare is that a film held out from being released onto a streaming platform and fought to be released in the theater. This film was one of those that was set to be released before the pandemic and was in limbo for so long after the pandemic. It deserved to be seen in the theater and what an experience. The sound design in this film was amazingly thunderous and visually it was everything that the late Tony Scott established in the original and director Joseph Kosinski carried on. This was actually a fantastic story about passing on the torch, family, friendship and the evolution of Maverick himself as he deals with the sacrifices he has made to protect Goose's son from following his dad's path. Tom Cruise shows why he is still an excellent actor and not just the action hero. Jennifer Connolly was stellar and Miles Teller nearly stole the film from Tom. Even though the final mission is straight out of Star Wars, this was definitely one of the best sequels ever made.

The Woman King: Talk about a film that was highly anticipated and one that rarely sold me just with 1 image. From the moment I saw the first image of Viola Davis as Nanisca, I knew this was gonna be amazing and I didn't even bother watching any trailers. This was an African epic that is based on true events even though some of it is altered for the film which if you think Braveheart was a completely accurate portrayal of William Wallace, then you may want to actually pick up a history book. This film didn't shy away from the horrible things tribes did in the slave trade and I liked that. It was also a coming of age story for the Nawi played wonderfully by Thuso Mbedu. Lashana Lynch deserves so much praise as being one of my favorite and charismatic characters in the film, Izogie. John Boyega finally gets to play someone of royalty and as the young King Ghezo, he exemplifies why he is one of the best actors out there today. The score by the great Terence Blanchard was so moving and powerful in the battle scenes and the best in the more emotional scenes as Nanisca reveals her past. There were so many juicy layers to this film and it was a joy to have witnessed it.

And we've come to the moment you've all been waiting for ladies and gentlemen. This is by far the best film of the year it must be seen by all for it features a story that everyone will feel to their core. The best film of 2022 is.....................

Everything, Everywhere All at Once: Right now the trend to do a multiversal style film or franchise is slowly becoming popular, but I doubt any of them will have the same amount of heart and depth as this film had. Michelle Yeoh has always been a powerhouse performer that has shown grace, strength and intelligence over an amazing career. Evelyn Quan Wang has got to be her most complex character yet as she portrays a mother that is struggling to keep her family business together while trying to figure how to connect with her daughter. Once we're introduced to the alternate universe versions of herself through her husband played by the great returning actor Ke Huy Quan, that's when the toppings of the proverbial bagel start to be revealed and it is a wild ride from beginning to end. Stephanie Hsu was great as Evelyn's daughter Joy and she rocked the house as the antagonistic universal threat named Jobu Tupaki. Her views on the universe, society and life were all valid and hit you hard. At the heart of all the madness, this film was truly about a daughter crying out to be heard and understood by her sometimes blind mother. It was a heart wrenching story of communication and understanding between a parent and their child that was beautiful and down right perfection. Does it get weird? Absolutely, but there is always a brilliant point to it.

And that is my list of the best films of 2022! I hope you enjoyed it and let me know what your favorite films of the year were or if you agree with my list in the comments below. Let's see what great stories 2023 has to offer. Thanks for reading!

#best films of 2022 #michelle yeoh #viola davis #brad pitt #bryan tyree henry #david harbour #john leguizamo #georgina campbell #Alexander Skarsgard

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nothingunrealistic · 2 years

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Moving on to more, like, tactical writing questions, somebody wanted to know what you do if you’ve realized that a character in your story, or realized when a character has been getting short shrift? Is there any specific process you use to re-center a character in the story?

I’m not sure I think of it exactly like that. I think… first it’s, does the piece just work? If it doesn’t work, why? And then… well, point of, you’re always thinking about point of view, so you’re thinking about the point of view of a scene, and then a series of scenes, then, like, a whole suite of scenes. And I will say, I guess one way to answer it is, a lot of the process of doing the writing is hard to articulate because it is less of an intellectual process where, where it’s highly rational. A lot of it has to do with an instinct. And the North Star for me is always just entertaining David, basically, and if I can entertain David and if the piece works and if he can entertain me, then we’ve learned it’s probably gonna entertain the rest of the people.

That’s so cute, ‘cause you guys are still, like, sixteen-year-olds in that sense of just trying — We are. Yeah. We are.

Speaking of you and Dave, and Billions, somebody asked, who picks the whisky for Billions? And why is it the only show that uses the right bottles in the right way and at the right time and the right level of luxury?

Well, we are always thinking about the iconography. We’re always thinking about, like, what the right, what would these people do? And yes, it’s David, that’s mostly David and me, and Beth Schacter makes the show with us, and — but also, like, April Taylor, who’s our line producer and an exec producer, and Mike Harrop, and our prop person, who’s incredible, Alexis Weiss, it’s a group of people. But a lot of that does flow from Dave and me. Look, uh, shoutout to Michter’s, who, in a great bit of synergy, we got approached officially about Michter’s early on, and then — through, like, regular channels. And then I realized, or I knew, that it was a company owned by the Magliocco family, Joe and Nino Magliocco, who are incredibly dear friends of ours. One of Sammy’s very best friends his entire life is Will Magliocco, Nino’s son, and so the idea of getting to work closely with Nino and Joe, who are among the, like, just most wonderful, smartest, interesting human beings I know, um, and to learn about Michter’s, has been fantastic. And then the other stuff, like if there’s a bottle of wine in the show, yeah, we’re all really thinking about, why this bottle of wine at this time? You know, if there’s pizza on the show, it’s like, well, Una Pizza Napoletana’s our favorite pizzeria in the world, can we put Anthony Mangieri in? And we’re like, because our characters have very rigorous, um, requirements, and taste level, and they’re gonna go chase down the very best of something. You know, each of those things is there for a very specific reason. And when our audience picks up on that, it is highly gratifying.

When you start, um, thinking of a character, or, yeah, coming up with a character, at what point do you begin to think about their iconography or what their drink would be and that sort of thing? Is that later in the process?

Well, sometimes right away, right? Sometimes you might meet a character and they’re engaged in, they’re at a restaurant or they’re engaged in something. And then sometimes… not. I mean, again, that’s one of those things that is, like, um… well, you understand how the characters dress right away, and that’s part of it. You know this guy wears a hoodie, this woman wears jeans, and this would be the kind of jeans, because it says something about the way she thinks about herself, or how she wants to present herself to the world. I don’t even — you know, it’s part of it, when you think of characters. Something comes into your head, and sometimes — this is what I mean when I say it’s not intellectual, obviously it’s a brain process, but not intellectual. Sometimes I’ll be writing, and suddenly I will just, not knowing exactly why, I will write a description, and that kind of opens up who that character is, and it might include things like what they’re carrying in their hand or wearing or listening to or looking at. And it’s, same with the reference palette that they use. It’s all ways that reveals who they are, and a lot of the time, that’s — some of the time, that’s super conscious, and some of the time, it’s, it’s not. It’s subconscious, you know, the way writing is.

#billions #brian koppelman #really wish he'd given some more specific examples but interesting discussion nonetheless

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cyarsk52-20 · 11 months

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Good-bye, Scandoval, You Sweet, Glorious Monster

Brian Moylan, who writes Vulture's Housewives Institute BulletinJune 9, 2023

This column originally appeared in Brian Moylan’s newsletter, The Housewives Institute Bulletin. Sign up here to be the first to read the next edition.

Usually I like to welcome you to the Housewives Institute Bulletin with some jokes and a couple pieces of big news you might have missed, like that Kathy Hilton is not returning to RHOBH or that Shannon Beador took a selfie with her devilish ex David at the Quiet Woman. But not this month. Instead I would just like to express thanks. Thanks to Tom Sandoval’s narcissism and Raquel’s [insert armchair diagnosis of your choice here], we got one of the best seasons of reality television of all time, and hashing out the minutiae of the dumpster fire happening in the SUR Alley, a UNESCO World Heritage site, with the smartest, funniest, best fans on the planet made it that much more enjoyable.

So this issue is a tribute to all of you Scandoval lovers. We have the winners and losers of the whole affair, a peek at what’s going on with Schwartz on Stars on Mars, and a walk down Raquel nickname memory lane. But first, the big question facing Vanderpumpfans: Where do we go from here?

The Post-Scandoval Era Is Upon Us

Photo-Illustration: Vulture; Photo: Bravo

On the eve of the finale of a record-breaking season of Vanderpump Rules, executive producer Alex Baskin — who runs Evolution Media, which produces the show along with RHOC, RHOBH, and others for Bravo — gave an interview to the Hollywood Reporter debunking some popular internet rumors and saying Raquel is not pregnant and that the focus of the show is not moving to Schwartz & Sandy’s. But mostly he walked back his previous comments suggesting that the big revelation at the end of the reunion might make the cast reevaluate whether they want to sign their contracts for the next season. He gave some hints of what season 11 might look like now that contracts are going out, saying there are discussions about bringing back former cast members; that the cast can’t really say, “Sorry, but I’m not filming with that person”; and that Vanderpump Rules as we know it is going to look pretty much the same. (Although it may have some interesting new competition in the form of Hulu’s just-announced Vanderpump Villa, which is about the staff of Lisa’s French chateau and guest house and will be produced by Lisa herself with a different production company, Bunim/Murray.)

“The cast knows that those conditional demands never work,” Baskin says. “It’s a matter of dialing in what is organic for the group to be together, what makes sense. And knowing we want to see where they go from here. It can’t be a show with separate islands. That doesn’t work and it’s not exciting if we have groups who agree with each other but never interact.”

I agree with what he says, but how exactly is that going to happen? Will there be cast parties at Tom Tom and no one shows up but the Toms? Is Scheana going to be forced to have the Toms crash her inevitable vow renewal in Punta Cana, the two of them sitting in their robes watching from a balcony like the new Katie Maloney and Kristina Always Both Names Kelly? And what if production does force everyone to hang out with the Toms? Is every episode just going to be DJ James Kennedy and Lauren Kent (that’s for trying to pretend like using the name “Lala” is somehow different from using “Raquel”) shouting at the Toms about how disgusting they are? That’s not really a show I want to watch.

And what about Raquel? Baskin says they’re in talks with her team, but she can’t be capable of doing another season. I don’t know that I want to see her do another season. Yeah, what she did was awful, but this horse is already dead. We don’t have to set it on fire while it tries to apply false eyelashes.

So if Raquel is out, who is coming back? Katie just saidshe doesn’t think that Stassi Schroeder or Kristen Doute, who were fired in 2020 for racist behavior toward castmate Faith Stowers, are interested in returning. Although Doute returned for a flip-flopped scene with Ariana in which they tried to exorcize their mutual ex, doing a little cameo and coming back full time are two different things. I wouldn’t be surprised if we see Kristen at some lunches, but, yeah, I don’t think she’s going to be hanging out at SUR in the opening any time soon.

That leaves us with Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright, the heirs to a MeeMaw’s Beer Cheese fortune. Please, in the name of all the saints in heaven and the reality stars below, do not bring Jax and Brittany back. Jax and his lying, cheating pathologyhad become tired by the time he declared it “his show” and Lisa Vanderpump had him summarily banned from the corner of Santa Monica Boulevard that she won in a duel with the man who discovered West Hollywood. This pasta-ed-up blowhard shouting about how he was right about Tom Sandoval the whole time is the last thing this show needs.

But the show clearly needed something before season ten kicked off; it had been faltering with fans and in the ratings for years. And this season did show some improvements outside of the Scandoval of it all. Lisa Vanderpump’s role had become increasingly irrelevant over the years, but I loved how this season repositioned her from lording over the SURvers at her restaurant to serving as mentor to different groups of budding restaurant entrepreneurs. It seems like there is a future in a show set up like that, with Lisa as the bridge between the two sides — if not trying to make them get along, then at least getting them into the same venue for filming opportunities.

With or without Lisa, though, Evolution still has to figure out how to blend two camps that absolutely hate each other. Does the show try to pull a season eight and bring in a whole new host of characters who work at Schwartz & Sandy’s? Maybe. Do Ariana and her coterie of gays get more attention for sitting around watching Love Island? Also maybe. Or maybe the show becomes about forgiveness, who can earn it and who deserves it … Oh, please, this isn’t a reboot of The Leftovers. We want absolute messiness, and we want it now.

The problem facing Evolution is the same one facing another Bravo-aligned production company, Sirens Media, which put RHONJ on pause after the intractable rift between Joe and Melissa Gorga and Teresa Giudice and the 180-pound hunk of ground beef she recently married. In recent years the show has become entirely about sides, with Melissa huddling on her couch with Margaret Josephs and new girl Rachel Fuda, and Teresa standing by with her sniveling toady Jennifer Aydin and other new girl Danielle Cabral. (Where’s Dolores? Just letting that fence give her inner thighs splinters.) Before the RHONJ reunion I was team “Fire both Melissa and Teresa and start over,” but after Melissa’s masterful gloves-off performance and Teresa following her man down the rabbit hole, I can envision a future where they both get to stay and the show continues on.

But again: How? It was already inorganic that Katie and Tom Schwartz had to have dinner in Mexico to celebrate selling their house when they clearly hate each other post-divorce and would rather be anywhere else. How are we going to get people who loathe each other to such an electrifying extent in the same room again and have it seem like anything akin to, well, reality?

The good news is that is not our job to figure out, and if you can, you should call either Evolution or Sirens immediately and trade in your soul for a career in the reality-television arts and sciences. But these people have given us so many great shows, so many excellent moments over the years, that if anyone can figure it out, it’s them. Just please don’t let the answer — on either coast, or really ever in life — be Jax Taylor.

VULTURE’S COMPLETE GUIDE TO SCANDOVAL

The Tragic Zero

The Affair of the Lighting-Bolt Necklace

The Religious Ecstasy of the Bravo Fandom

So That Was the Vanderpump Rules Finale’s Big ‘Twist’?

Our Scandalous Vanderpump Rules Theories Are Good As Gold

A Study in Vanderpump Rules Facial Acting

A Judge Dismissed Raquel Leviss’s Restraining Order, Post-Reunion Taping

Ariana Madix on the Future of Vanderpump Rules

Every Detail of the Vanderpump Rules Scandoval Drama in Chronological Order

Where Celebs Stand on Scandoval

10 Vanderpump Rules Episodes that Hit Different After Scandoval

Ariana Madix Confirms Miami Girl Rumors

Kristen Doute Says Tom Sandoval Cheated on Ariana Madix ’Multiple’ Times

Is Scandoval Good for Business?

Who From Succession Has What It Takes to Survive Vanderpump Rules?

Tom Sandoval Airs Dirty Laundry on Howie Mandel’s Podcast

Ariana Madix Joins Cast of Lifetime Movie Buying Back My Daughter

We Love Mess?

All the Season’s Recaps

The Winners and Losers of Scandoval

There’s never been a reality-television scandal as cut-and-dried as the one we’ve been marveling at for the past three months. It’s clear that the winner here is Ariana and her whole side of the reunion and the losers are, well, everyone else. But let’s turn the lens on our microscope up one level and see how some of Scandoval’s more outlying entities fared.

WINNER: “Good as Gold” The Scheana Shay track was always a certified bop, but when Uber One turned it into sponcon it became what it was always meant to be: not a single, but a jingle.

LOSER: Lightning Bolts Not even Zeus wants his anymore.

WINNER: Merch Whether it’s Lala’s “Send It to Darryl” hoodie, Katie and Ariana’s “Something About Her” T-shirts, or everything Worm With a Mustache, your gag gifts are covered for the next decade.

LOSER: Sandoval’s Mom’s Retirement Fund She sunk it all into Schwartz & Sandy’s, a restaurant that has had its Yelp reviews permanently frozen.

WINNER: Katie Maloney’s Hair In ten seasons she had never once had a good hair day until she showed up to film that reunion. Shellac that wig and never take it off.

LOSER: White Nail Polish It’s Joey Buttafuoco pants for millennials.

WINNER: Love Island Who doesn’t want to sit around and watch this with Ariana, Logan, and the rest of the crew? (Yes, Tom, it is a time commitment, but that’s what makes it fun!)

LOSER: Pageants This scandal is the worst thing reality TV did to the pageant circuit since Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.

WINNER: White Claw Scheana sitting in her trailer 100 yards from the reunion watching it while gripping a can of hard seltzer was literally every single one of us.

LOSER: Coors Light The Toms’ and Raquel’s drink of choice was disgusting to start with. Now it’s on a whole different level.

WINNER: TikTok This hasn’t been the Chinese spying app’s biggest or best scandal, but it really was where all of us were going to get our news for months.

LOSER: The Most Extras Imagine the indignity of being Tom’s backing band and having to play concerts every night to a crowd of people who hate you.

WINNER: Bravo It revitalized a flagging franchise, made a whole heap of cash, and found itself in the Zeitgeist in a way it hasn’t been since the glory days of Real Housewives.

LOSER: Andy Cohen He’s an executive producer on all the Housewivesshows, but not Pump Rules. However, his faces did win the reunion.

WINNER: Us I don’t think we’re ever going to see a reality-TV moment like this again, and it has been an absurdly amusing ride.

How Are Our Friends Doing?

Photo-Illustration: Vulture; Photos:

He narrowly escaped being booted first and left us this very telling quote.

The Name Game

Photo-Illustration: Vulture; Photo: Bravo

From the first moment Raquel graced our television screens, I didn’t like her. She seemed like a certain type of striving, vacuous California girl with nothing at her core other than a desire for fame and probably the Hailey Bieber smoothie from Erewhon. I decided then and there that every time her name came up in a recap I would give her a scathing epithet. Although my linguistic war on her eventually ceased — I was blinded by her charm for a season or so — I figured it was appropriate to pay homage to her reign of terror by recapping everything I ever called Raquel (and thank you to Institute member Ashley for compiling this list).

• If a pumpkin spice latte grew legs, walked itself over to a SoulCycle class, bought itself an adult coloring book and a pair of Tory Burch flats, and then showed up at bottomless brunch 15 minutes late, it wouldn’t be any more basic than James’s 21-year-old beauty-pageant girlfriend, whom he met at New Year’s Eve at Pump

• A random bit of glitter you pick off your face on a Sunday morning

• A $9.99 bikini top from H&M

• The line in front of Sephora for a Jenner sister’s new lip kit

• An 11:11 wish for the perfect pair of yoga pants

• A half-finished La Croix that someone left behind on their table at Sweetgreen

• An owl that can’t muster even a hoot

• A Hello Kitty backpack with nothing inside

• A casserole made out of only yellow Starburst and discontinued lip gloss

• Fifteen different eyeshadows in search of a palette

• Boring, dumb, and more monotonous than a YouTube video where screaming goats sing “Row, Row, Row Your Boat”

• A balloon of whippets you do while tailgating to see an unranked state school play football.

• A stalled Barbie Ferrari

• The human equivalent of Sweetgreen transitioning to a tech company

• A carousel horse with one hind leg missing

• A deck chair left out in the sun too long

• A scrunchie on the doorknob of an abandoned room

• The Goop candle that doesn’t smell like Gwynnie’s vagina that no one bought

• A dish of Sparkle Dog–brand dog food with no water in it

• A cell-phone tower disguised to look like a palm tree

• A pair of yoga pants that have lost their stretch

• A Starburst that … wait, I’m not going to do that today

• The last vegan pizza left in Whole Foods during coronavirus hoarding

• The one pack of Minions Valentine’s cards left on a Rite Aid shelf on February 15

• A free yoga mat you get after buying 12 Moon Juices in eight days

• A pair of Jessica Simpson gummi sandals

• A bottle of kombucha someone left in the back of a Lyft

• A Mentos commercial that ends in tragedy

• A TikTok challenge made flesh

• A Japanese vending machine that only sells schoolgirls’ panties

• A brand of rosé Champagne for puppies

• A luridly pink Rabbit vibrator whose batteries have died

• The human stepsister of that paper puppet girl who talks to you between levels of Candy Crush

• A Pinterest board for mason-jar wedding centerpieces

• All of the melons in an Edible Arrangement

• A human version of Dexter’s sister Dee Dee from Dexter’s Laboratory

• A single My Little Pony pool floatie bobbing in the water.

• The magenta briefs under a Hamptons tennis skirt

• A Lush bath bomb that smells like sugar-free gum and skipping third period

• A ”Which Disney Princess Are You?” Instagram filter where every answer is Ariel

• A TikTok dance so embarrassing even JoJo Siwa won’t do it

• A TikTok challenge that only three people did

• A Botox vial with a Depop store

• A good witch who uses a mascara brush as her wand

• A TikTok sea chantey about lip liner

• A piece of Away luggage that will only allow itself to be packed with Fashion Nova

• A strawberry salad with unicorn dressing

• The pink dog on Paw Patrol with eyelash extensions

• A scrunchie-flavored La Croix

• A K-pop single about espresso martinis

• A gluten-free, sugar-free, dairy-free keto seaweed cupcake

• A catered floral-dress-themed tea party in a public park

• All of the colored bits in a Funfetti cupcake sculpted into a toy chihuahua

• A Depop listing for an original Jonas Brothers–tour T-shirt

• A miniature pinscher in a “Girl Boss” sweater

• A Peloton class that only plays “Baby Shark” on a loop

• A gorgeous-looking succulent in a little pot that says “THRIVE” on the side in glitter letters but whose leaves are used for making the world’s most deadly poison

• A scam Instagram account that’s trying to get you to invest in crypto

Recap Highlights

Photo-Illustration: Vulture; Photo: Bravo

Vanderpump Rules: “Lala knows deep down inside she and Raquel are the same person. They’re both name-changers who wanted to use reality television to get really, really famous, and they might have fucked some shady-ass dudes to get there.” [Reunion Part 3]

Real Housewives of Atlanta: “The Real Housewives of Atlanta is in the midst of a crisis. It’s beginning to feel as if the visual revamp of the show was the equivalent of Phaedra dressing a corpse up in its Sunday best before being buried six feet beneath the Earth’s surface.” [Season 15, Episode 5]

Real Housewives of Orange County: “The name of her yoga studio is Devi Rebel Yoga, but based on the sign, it looked like Devl Rebel Yoga as if it was named after both Rebel Wilson, no one’s favorite Australian, and Devl, which is “Devil” with no i, which is probably the name of an app for Satanists.” [Season 17 premiere]

Summer House: Martha’s Vineyard: “No matter the race, throwing a group of attractive, camera-hungry young people in a house filled with alcohol is not going to turn into a convention about civil rights. There’s been bountiful conflict, more than enough to balance some of the poignant conversations about race, creating an authentic portrayal of modern Blackness.” [Season 1, Episode 5]

Below Deck Sailing Yacht: “Colin admits that he and Daisy ‘have always been flirty’ with each other, but that their finally acting on it is still surprising. I don’t buy it! Surely I’m not the only one who thinks something romantic happened between them long before the cameras started rolling?” [Season 4 Episode 9]

Dame Brian Moylan breaks down all the gossip and drama, on- and off-screen, for dedicated students of the Reality Television Arts and Sciences.

Sent from my iPhone

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