#dave pelzer

[morbidology]

Dave Pelzer was the second of five boys, born on 29 December, 1960, in San Francisco, California. Growing up, Dave suffered unimaginable abuse and torture at the hands of his alcoholic mother - both mentally and physically. He was eventually rescued when his teachers stepped up and finally called the authorities. 

Dave went on to write a series of books, one being “A Child Called It” in which he detailed his horrendous abuse. He described how his mother forced him to drink and inhale ammonia, stabbed him in the stomach, burned his arm on the oven, forced him to take baths filled with ice, forced him to eat his own vomit, and forced him to eat his baby brother’s faeces. 

Dave was made to live in the garage and wasn’t allowed to eat meals with the family, forcing him to scavenge for food in the bins. When his mother caught on to this, she began to clean the bins with ammonia. Dave’s father was not active in the abuse, nor did he make an attempt to put a halt to it. 

When Dave turned 12, he was finally rescued and went to live with a foster family. He went on to receive awards for this books and spends much of his time doing community work and giving lectures and motivational speeches.

#Dave Pelzer #Child Abuse #Abuse

[annasinterests]

tag game: 3 books 3 movies 3 songs that changed your life or that you just love

tagged by the lovely @tinygarbage 🩷

okay listen i know a stranger's heart without a home on the books row isn't a physical book but i love it dearly and it's the reason why i started to finally started being active on my blog after sitting in the background for so many years so. . . yeah

np tags (sorry if you've already been tagged eeep!): @myblogandotherrubbish @hiddenbabynyc @ellies-girll @thoughtsofarandommind @morning-star-joy @daydreamingmiller @nuka-cherries @joelsversion

#eagles #one of these nights #young the giant #mind over matter #phoenix #big red machine #fleet foxes #anais mitchell #a child called it #dave pelzer #to kill a mockingbird #harper lee #a stranger's heart without a home #ashwah #doni!!!! #finding nemo #avengers endgame #sunset boulevard

[ma-pi-ma]

Quando accontenti gli altri con la speranza di essere accettato, perdi la tua autostima.

Dave Pelzer

#dave pelzer

[intriguingpeoplebyangelafloyd]

A CHILD CALLED 'IT' Dave Pelzer

Book

A CHILD CALLED ‘IT’ Dave Pelzer

Published 1995

            A Child Called ‘It’ is a memoir about a young Californian boy being abused by his mother during the 1960s and 70s. This book won’t take you long to get through it, however; the topic is heavy; it’s about child abuse and also brings awareness of what happens to a lot of children behind closed doors.

            Dave’s family lived in Daly City, a middle-classed suburb in San Francisco; his mother was a socialite who quickly had five sons throughout the 1960s.

            Pelzer alleged that his mother was an alcoholic who beat him, starved him, treated him like a slave, forced him to drink ammonia, stabbed him in the stomach, burned his arm on a gas stove, and made him eat his own vomit.

            He stated that his father enabled his mother’s behaviour by not reacting. His brothers who witnessed the abuse were in a more favourable position with their mother. His brother later stated that he was ‘more fearful that she might kill me than of the possibility of my brother bleeding to death.’  

            Pelzer was sent to a foster family aged 12, in 1973 and not long after his father left his mother.

            A Child Called ‘It’ was published after his mother died in 1992, only six people attended her funeral - five sons and their grandmother. The family members have very little contact with each other’s and there’s also a lot of resentment between them. They all agree that their mother was a drunk and the family home was dysfunctional.

            His brother Richard published his own book which affirms Dave’s story and said he was abused once Dave was sent into foster care. His younger brother Stephen denied that Dave was abused and the reason why Dave was sent into foster care was because he started a fire and was shoplifting. Dave’s grandmother said she believed that her daughter abused Dave, but not as bad as he described in his book.

            Dave later stated his mother should never have children.

#achildcalledit #davepelzer

#a child called it #achildcalledit #dave pelzer #davepelzer

[that1garrulousfan]

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving! Today is a day where we should be grateful. We should be thankful for the life we have, for the lives we’ve lost, and the new lives that shall be welcomed to this world.

Of course life can be unfair, though. It’s not all “cupcakes and rainbows”, and that’s just how it is, and basically how it has to be. You can’t live life without tragedy. Some of you know that better than anyone. It can be devastating to see a good thing end, but sometimes it’s for the better.

A book I love to hate (if that makes sense) is called “A Child Called: It”. It’s an autobiography about a boy named Dave Pelzer. His childhood was… traumatizing and heartbreaking. And so very cruel.

I cried. A lot.

His mother, Catherine Pelzer tortured him in various ways since he was four years old. His life was one of the most tragic lives I’ve ever heard of.

Here is that story: (READ AT YOUR OWN RISK) There is cursing, and MANY forms of abuse.

Sometimes, that’s just how it is…

Moving on, you’ll never know when someone will die. Maybe your family fell apart, and no one wants to talk to one another. Maybe it’s a divorce. Or an argument. Or someone said the wrong thing at the wrong time.

They refuse to communicate. They want to get out of each other’s lives. They hate each other so much. Their hate is so powerful- they forget what the fight even was…

Then… someone dies. No apology. No goodbye.

Then they realize it’s far too late to fix anything.

Another story isn’t even mine, it’s my teachers’. Two of them. Different funerals. Different deaths. Different reasons. But both deaths were of no other than teenagers.

Barely adults. They never even got to be adults. They just… died.

One of their deaths was caused by carelessness. A sleepy driver in an 18 wheeler crashed into the girl’s car, split the car in half and she ended up flying out and getting impaled by a tree branch right in the stomach.

Overall, just be careful on what choices you make. Specifically on how you treat people. It can make a major difference in their lives. For the better, or for the worst. But then again, it’s your life and how you choose to live it.

So here’s a project you can complete for today:

Go to Google slides and make at least 2-5 slides about why you’re grateful for someone and send it to them.

Or write a letter. Or call someone.

You can really make a positive impact on someone’s day today.

Because you never know when it will be the last time you’ll see them.

Recommendations for Books and Movies: The Ultimate Gift, Chicken Noodle Soup for the Soul, I Can Only Imagine, Greater, and Jesus Revolution.

(I kinda rushed this- sorry! 😭 I will edit soon!)

#happy thanksgiving #thanksgiving #real life #harsh reality #be grateful #positivity #positive #make a difference #make a change #make the world a better place #dave pelzer #A child called it #i can only imagine #greater #the ultimate gift #jesus revolution #Chicken noodle soup for the soul #God #jesus christ

[kael-writ]

TW Child Abuse & not believing victims

A Child Called It by Dave Pelzer meant a lot to me as a kid. While my abuse was not as extreme, the psychology of the abuser and the abused was so intimately familiar. I saw my Mom in that woman. Im not saying my Mom was that bad, or was exactly the same, Im saying I saw the same psychological state of being emotionally out of control and twisting it into sadism against a child.

It disturbs me revisiting this book that the author is accused of fraud. And the accusations aren't based on solid evidence, not any that I can find.

The article that started these accusations of lying, in 2002 in the NYT, is behind a paywall and Im honestly not going to the effort of going around it, I am sure the kids today know how to go around paywalls but I don't want to read it and get all upset that badly tbqh. It's by a sportswriter, Pat Jordan, who dabbled in true crime who somehow got to say that for the New York Times but the secondhand sources citing it dont show that Jordan actually provided evidence. They also claim Jordan had a hostility towards therapy. Jordan has his own memoir out where he accuses his own father of being a con artist. So it kinda seems like he is someone who would be hypervigilant to thinking someone is grifting.

The reasons people give for not believing him just read like a laundry list of all the reasons people call all abuse victims liars. Some of his relatives say they think he exaggerated, but still say there was abuse, like a 90 year old grandma who lived in another state and some - not all - of his brothers. The other scapegoated brother confirms the abuse in his own book. Well, that's typical. The other kids were both privileged by the abuser and separated from the rituals of abuse and Dave's life in general, young, brainwashed. Lots of times the "golden child(ren)" deny abuse. They're meant to. The abuser has arranged it that way. They're kids, they're warped by an abuser, they are in denial and feeling guilty. The majority of the abuse of the scapegoat will be entirely in private, as Dave's was.

People point out that the memoir of his childhood going only up to age 12 reads.... like a memoir of childhood memories does... as the.. memories of a child. Like, yea some stuff might have seemed "exaggerated" to him. The amount of time something took, for example, would be really common for a child to misremember. He says in the forward it is meant to capture his childhood memories!

Dave also says openly he changed names. The book is - a book. It's carefully written and edited. It's presented to the reader. It's... a book.

To get attention? Yes! You grew up abused and that was hidden and you want the world to see it! You want to save other kids! That is understandable and not a bad thing. Yes, he is bringing attention to child abuse and to his life. And yes, he's making money from it. He wants to make money from telling his story, it's hard, time and energy consuming work and in this society it's really hard to do anything you can't monetize, frankly, we should all know that by now. The man has a child, a child he devotes himself to giving a completely different life from his, one of love and safety and peace, - god forbid he makes any money from writing a book.

As Dave DETAILS in his book not just very openly but clearly to educate us on how abuse works, abused kids have to learn how to deceive and appease to survive the abuser. To tense part of your body before a punch, to cry when that will help or show no emotion if that will help, to steal food, to lie about injuries.

So could Dave's adult work as a motivational speaker, could his story telling, come off as someone with some skill in some manner of audience manipulation? Sure dude. Everyone does that sometimes, every writer and actor does that when performing. That doesn't mean someone just made up their whole life story.

People say he couldnt have survived all that. Unfortunately, and fortunately, people have survived worse. And again, yea sure, maybe the week he remembers eating nothing he did actually eat a bite somewhere. Maybe the time he got stabbed it wasnt as deep as the book makes it sound, it seemed deeper to a kid. Sure, maybe a couple little details are off.

eta: another claim is that he "doesn't have PTSD" and functions well in life. If you read his follow up work, he does struggle with PTSD, and even if he didn't, not everyone who, say, comes back from war has it, it clearly depends. And the idea that survivors will never function and thrive is false and insulting. Look at Oprah, Maya Angelou, Elie Wiesel ffs. People CAN survive! /eta

The other main claim is "how did she get away with it? Her kid coming to school every day with bruises and dirty clothes and no one did anything?" Yea dude. Especially in the 70s. Yes. Children get murdered by abusers to this day after a CPS failure. And that's when it gets reported at all. The teacher in the afterward who was one of Pelzer's saviors said he didn't even have any understanding of child abuse back then. It hasnt even always been illegal to abuse a kid. To this day, hitting and verbally abusing your kids is largely legal. There's a line, there's been progress (BECAUSE of people like Dave) but a lot of abuse is still legal.

People say he didnt provide enough proof to them of this hidden child abuse from when he was under 12 in the 70s. I dont even know what they expect. The only external proof I have of my own abuse are the times someone else witnessed something, most of the physical stuff was only seen by a fellow sibling occasionally, neighbors heard some yelling, that's about it. but it's not like we had phones and filmed it even in the 90s, it's not like my parents signed a form when they lost their temper. Its not like abusers take the kid to the doctor. The couple times someone called cops or DCFS they didnt do their jobs. There isn't just - collected evidence of all this stuff. That's- beyond unreasonable. At most there might have been some documentation of the child custody proceedings, in the 70s I really don't know if that would be available now.

And something that is striking about these allegations is that on EVERY forum alleging them you start to see abuse victims saying "that's very realistic actually. That's what it's like".

You also don't see the actual proof of fraud. Proof the teacher who wrote the afterward doesnt exist, for example, something like that. That is what you see with actual fraud cases. The person was actually not in the USA on 9/11. Stuff like that. That's proof of fraud.

Does it sound like that's a high bar to clear to call him a fraud? I don't think so, I think an abuse victim (or a person with cancer, or whatever thing that very rarely people lie about but most people arent lying about) should be believed or at the very least not persecuted like this unless you have extremely good evidence. I particularly think a journalist shouldn't make those allegations without doing actual journalism.

When 9/11 survivors and journalists started suspecting fraudulent "victim" Tania Head, they DID RESEARCH. They FOUND PROOF. Hard evidence. She was in Barcelona on 9/11. They didn't just start accusing her without proof. Because that would have been awful. And unlike Dave, she was being a jerk to other survivors, she was not showing mutual support, I dont see anyone so much as claiming Dave didnt support other survivors. Survivors seem to appreciate him, in fact.

Is it possible it's fake? I guess. Is it likely? No, it's not. Is there reasonable evidence of fraud? Not to my knowledge. Im obviously incredibly biased here, and yes I will be so crushed if it turned out to be a fraud, but I would want to see that evidence, Id want to know - if it is actually solid, compelling evidence, not just some redditor's misunderstanding of how abuse works.

In over 20 years, no one has gone and found actual proof that Dave lied. It's still just rumors and speculation burned onto his wikipedia and his legacy. A message to him as a survivor and every survivor watching, that we STILL are not to be believed.

Abuse survivors shouldn't have to live with the stigma of presumed guilt, of never feeling like we can ever just be believed. Coming forward about abuse should not mean you are indefinitely publicly on trial in a state of presumed guilt. You don't have to 100% believe every story you hear. But abusers thrive on the silencing of victims. At some point, if we want abuse to stop being a driving force in society causing so many problems and so much pain, we're gonna have to start believing victims.

#Dave Pelzer #child abuse #false accusations #believe victims #david pelzer

[tryingtowritestuff24]

Just finished reading A Child Called It.

Jesus fucking christ.

#reading #readblr #dave pelzer #a child called it

[anec-reads]

#reading #book review #review #storygraph #a child called it #Dave pelzer

[haveyoureadthispoll]

This book chronicles the unforgettable account of one of the most severe child abuse cases in California history. It is the story of Dave Pelzer, who was brutally beaten and starved by his emotionally unstable, alcoholic mother: a mother who played tortuous, unpredictable games—games that left him nearly dead. He had to learn how to play his mother's games in order to survive because she no longer considered him a son, but a slave; and no longer a boy, but an "it." Dave's bed was an old army cot in the basement, and his clothes were torn and raunchy. When his mother allowed him the luxury of food, it was nothing more than spoiled scraps that even the dogs refused to eat. The outside world knew nothing of his living nightmare. He had nothing or no one to turn to, but his dreams kept him alive—dreams of someone taking care of him, loving him and calling him their son.

#book: a child called it #author: dave pelzer #genre: memoir #genre: non fiction #year: 1990s

[officialbillhader]

This book just decided to tear out my heart

#awesomepie3221 #had to stop myself from sobbing #ive read sold by patricia mccormick and a child called 'it' by dave pelzer but i feel like this pne is somehow hitting me harder #even tho both of those were hard to read #ive read the glass castle too but that one feels so different. this book feels so different from the rest of them #or maybe its bc i read those 3 in high school and dont remember how they affected me #and i may have been a little desensitized to a child called it and sold then bc it was probably around the same time i read that article #all abt this same thing #literally a 100k word article. and since it was on my phone it took me weeks to read #probably months

[cityofconnecticut]

alright -- supergrass // dear john -- nicholas sparks // colinandmeg // nct 1027 // 朋友 -- wakin chau // a child called it -- dave pelzer

#theme: on the carefree childhood i never had #web weaving #weaves #webs #quorum's weaves #oc weaves #oc web weaving #friendship #youth #carefree

[4everbrookemarie]

BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS 🤗🤓😁

((The ** behind the title and author means I haven’t read it yet, but it’s on my shelf))

•We Over Me (Devale and Khadeen Ellis)

•The misadventures of awkward black girl (Issa Rae)

•Seven Days in June (Tia Williams) **

•Fierce Love ( Sonya Curry)

•Bamboozled by Jesus (Yvonne Orji)

•Around the way girl (Taraji P Henson)

•You should sit down for this (Tamera Mowry-Housley)

•Feeding the soul (Tabitha Brown)

•The hate you give (Angie Thomas)

•Dear Martin (Nic Stone)

•Letters to a young sister (Hill Harper)

•Higher is waiting (Tyler Perry)

•Well Read Black Girl (Glory Edim)

•The circle maker (Mark Batterson)

•Show and tell (Nobia Bryant)

•Live and learn (Nobia Bryant)

•Free Cyntonia (Cyntonia Brown-Long)

•Becoming (Michelle Obama)

•God locked out (Danielle Tashae)

•A child called it (Dave Pelzer)

•The lost boy (Dave Pelzer)

•The wait ( Devon Franklin & Meagan Good)

•The last black unicorn (Tiffany Haddish)

•We’re going to need more wine (Gabrielle Union Wade)

•You got anything stronger (Gabrielle Union Wade)

•WILL (Will Smith)**

•Checking in (Michelle Williams)**

•Inner Circle (Evelyn Lozada)

•Becoming Beyoncé (J. Randy Taraborrelli)**

#books #i love to read #books and reading #knowledge is power #knowledge #bookworm #nerd #book nerd #book blog #bookblr #books & libraries #bookish #good reads #iRead #i read books #i read a lot #i read it #bookshelf #recommendations #book recommendations

[thepastisapebbleinmyshoe]

"You can ask me why but I'd never explain the reasons for my sorrow and pain or why I kept it politely tucked away. The answer is simple, I never understood how flowers could bloom while standing beside the complicated shadows of you. How could I love so freely but still remain to be unseen. Perhaps the answers are between the pages of a book you encouraged me to read. It left me heartbroken and shattered emotionally, while also understanding "that little boy could easily be me".

At times I hear your footsteps in the hallway of my home, even when I am alone. I still don't feel safe without every door locked and closed. Stale beer and men's cologne cuts through the steam and the warmth that falls over my body becomes capable of haunting me. In the spring I feel that I am once again able to breathe, wading in the gentle waters and multifaceted depths of a kind and thoughtful soul. Forgive me for feeling unmoved by the lies when I am the living and breathing truth.

"A Child Called It" by Dave Pelzer

#personal inspiration #2008 #writerscreed #poetry and prose #spilled ink #cptsd recovery #narcissism #books in translation

[intriguingpeoplebyangelafloyd]

DAVE PELZER

DAVE PELZER

1960

A Child Called ‘It’ (1995 memoir)

Dave Pelzer from California is best known for his memoir A Child Called ‘It’ (1995) which was an account of being singled out as a child and being abused by his mother during the 1960s and 1970s. The book helped bring awareness of child abuse and mothers who abuse their children.

His mother Catherine Roerva (Pelzer) (1929-1992) singled Dave out from amongst his brothers and would lash out at him. She physically and emotionally abused him from the age of 4 to 12. His mother starved him, forced him to drink ammonia, stabbed him in the stomach, burned his arm on a gas stove, and forced him to eat his own vomit. She would refer to Dave as ‘It’ and would exclude Dave on family holidays. Dave craved the love and acceptance of his mother and on the odd occasion, she would show him love and tenderness. Dave and his family have admitted that Catherine had a drinking problem, was frustrated due to raising her five children and there was also the possibility that she was mentally ill.

His father Stephen Pelzer (1923-1980) turned a blind eye to the abuse and didn’t do anything to stop it. His father who was also a heavy drinker left his wife because he couldn’t handle her anger problems anymore. Stephen died in 1980.

Dave said in his book that a teacher became aware of the abuse and helped put Dave, aged 12, into foster care in 1973. His mother Catherine was never tried or prosecuted for her child abuse crimes and continued raising her children. She died in 1992.

Dave spent time with his parents as an adult and that his mother told him that if he hadn’t been rescued she would have killed ‘It’.

Dave’s brother, Stephen said that the reason why David went into foster care was that “he started a fire and was caught shoplifting”. Dave said that Stephen “worshipped my mum. He misses her terribly because she protected him.”

Dave’s brother, Richard B. Pelzer published his own autobiography, A Brother’s Journey (2000) that detailed his own experiences. Richard affirms much of what Dave had said in his own book and described his own abuse when David was removed from the family home. Dave claimed that Richard as a child participated in his mother’s abuse, sided with his mother against David, but when Dave was sent into foster care Richard said that he was his mother’s next victim.

The five brothers have not kept in touch, Richard was shocked when he first saw Dave’s book in the stores and read the book all in one go. He was shocked and angry that his brother had opened the family closet and exposed its skeletons.

It was at their mother’s funeral in 1992 which brought the five brothers together for the first time since they were living together as children. Catherine’s Will stated that her estate would be split amongst her four sons and purposely left Dave out of her Will. The four boys let Dave have his fair share of the money even though there was little money to go around.

Richard said that he doesn’t know Dave and all they share is the same last name. When Dave was in Boston giving a lecture, he and Richard met up to have a talk for a few hours and Richard stated that they were both a little standoffish.

The boy’s grandmother “Gram”, Catherine’s mother, did not live in the same state as the family and had little contact with them during their childhood. She said that her daughter didn’t permit her to see her grandchildren and she believes it was due to her daughter’s problems with alcohol. She said that she believes that Dave was abused but she believes he exaggerated events. She believes Richard was lying about being abused because he never previously told her about it and she believes he only said he was abused to make money. Gram stated that the boy’s brothers don’t approve of Dave and Richard’s books.

Their brother Kenneth believes that Richard was ‘mentally abused’ by their mother but said that Richard ‘had an entirely different memory than mine’.

At the age of 18, Dave joined the US Air Force in 1979 and served in the Gulf War. During the 1980s he was married and the couple had a son, the couple divorced and he remarried.

Dave Pelzer released his second book, The Lost Boy: A Foster Child’s Search for the Love of a Family (1997) which covers what happened to Dave as a teenager. His third book, A Man Named Dave: A Story of Triumph and Forgiveness (1999) is about his life as an adult and how he forgave his father. Dave continued writing self-help books about recovering from abuse and healing.

#davepelzer#achildcalledit

#dave pelzer #davepelzer #a child alled it

[that1garrulousfan]

December 29 - Dave Pelzer

Today, is Dave Pelzer’s birthday.

If you don’t know who he is, he is a child abuse survivor and author. He is very inspiring and he is just SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPLIALIDOCIOUS and AMAZING. He is very motivating and I am grateful for that. ❤️‍🩹

#dave pelzer #birthday #december 29

[hearthtrob]

Get To Know You

Thank you for the tag!! <3 👹 @justabigoldnerd

Last Song I Listened To: My Immortal by Evanescence

Currently Reading: I'm reading a couple of pretty good books right but CURRENTLY I'm reading "A Child Called It" by Dave Pelzer, it's so sad and good at the same time oh my god; also reading "The Extraordinary Life of Sam Hell" by Robert Dugoni

Currently Watching: "911"// " The Umbrella Academy " // andd "Avatar: The Last Airbedner" (the cartoon)

Currently Obsessed With:

I've been really interested in music, actually !! I've been dusting off my piano skills and at the moment I'm attempting to learn bass from this class im taking in person

tags: @0ctalgame ,, @trashratl ,, @kiss-it-better-prettyplease ,, @apologeticallyfat ,, @phantomsboyfriend ,, @jesusbutbetterrr ,, @mis4dv3nture ,, and anyone else who wants to do it ^^

#tag game #get to know you #hthrob posts