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#crying over them always..
foxdoodles · 2 years
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“It was good. We were happy.”
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inkskinned · 1 year
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one of the things about being an educator is that you hear what parents want their kids to be able to do a lot. they want their kid to be an astronaut or a ballerina or a politician. they want them to get off that damn phone. be better about socializing. stop spending so much time indoors. learn to control their own temper. to just "fucking listen", which means to be obedient.
one of the things i learned in my pedagogy classes is that it's almost always easier to roleplay how you want someone to act. it's almost always easier to explain why a rule exists, rather than simply setting the rule and demanding adherence.
i want my kids to be kind. i want them to ask me what book they should read next, and i want to read that book with them so we can discuss it. i want my kid to be able to tell me hey that hurt my feelings without worrying i'll punish them. i want my kid to be proud of small things and come running up to me to tell me about them. i want them to say "nah, i get why this rule exists, but i get to hate it" and know that i don't need them to be grateful-for-the-roof-overhead while washing the dishes. i want them to teach me things. i want them to say - this isn't safe. i'm calling my mom and getting out of this. i want them to hear me apologize when i do fuck up; and i want them to want to come home.
the other day a parent was telling me she didn't understand why her kid "just got so angry." this woman had flown off the handle at me.
my dad - traditional catholic that he is - resents my sentiment of "gentle parenting". he says they'll grow up spoiled, horrible, pretentious. granola, he spits.
i am going to be kind to them. i am going to set the example, i think. and whatever they choose become in the meantime - i'm going to love them for it.
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teehee-vibes · 2 months
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Old habits die hard
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jedi-starbird · 2 months
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No one ever tells Obi-Wan that he is his Master's padawan.
Of course, for most people who had known Qui-Gon Jinn, telling someone else they resembled the the man would in fact be a thinly veiled insult. But still, Obi-Wan feels the absence of comparisons almost as strongly as he feels the absence of his Master.
There is no one for Obi-Wan to push against now, no strong presence at his side, ready to grab him by scruff and pull him back from another reckless stunt. It's an odd feeling. He has been set loose against his wishes. There is no one to his left and Anakin at his heels, but Anakin had needed, still needs, a strong, gentle figure for his prickly but sensitive heart. For even their worst bickering could not hold a candle to the scathing remarks he and Qui-Gon had shot at each other and Obi-Wan knows he cannot push and needle Anakin in the same way.
When Qui-Gon had been alive they had been an amusing, mirrored pair, the maverick and his rule-following padawan. Opposites clashing against each other, yet working together to complete the most difficult missions. Few saw that Qui-Gon's impertinence had indeed rubbed off on his padawan, cultivated from that small, angry initiate, because the only way to rebel against the rule-breaker had been to parrot the Council fastidiously. No one would ever get to see that again. Obi-Wan is one half of a mirrored pair trying to complete a routine on his own. What once was an impish, teasing compliance is now a betrayal of all his Master's values.
"How could Qui-Gon raise such a model Jedi?" He hears them say, "It's admirable that Master Kenobi was appointed to the Council despite his Master's maverick ways."
Padawan Kenobi would have yelled and kicked and screamed. Master Kenobi is serene. It should feel like an achievement. It feels like a disappointment.
Sometimes, Obi-Wan looks at the shape of the man he has moulded himself into, and aches to be his Master's padawan.
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Okay hear me out. Imagine a story where a scientist is leading a tour of kids through his lab, showing off all the inventions that will hopefully one day help humanity! In this tour is his son, who is very excited to be with his dad at his job, while also technically going to school? Win Win!! His dad has been a bit overprotective of him, but he sort of enjoys the attention. Although he isn’t too keen on his classmates who bully (perhaps one of the bullies is his brother or something) him for it, still poking and teasing him during the tour.
After awhile the dad shows off a portal machine which can open a portal to a whole new world, or at least that’s what they think it leads to anyway. The lab hasn’t fully tested it and is making a robot to send in first. The kids all ask if they can see it and the science team agrees as long as no one goes over the rails towards the portal, cause it seems to have a suction. (You can see where this is going I bet) The science team flips on the machine and the portal lights up, and while everyone is distracted the bully decides to have some fun, whispering into the Scientist kid’s ear something like “Maybe you’ll see your mom over there” or “Perhaps I should just take out trash like you. You’re just wasting dad’s time anyway” before the kid can really process what happens he is pushed over the rail into the portal, disappearing. The machine shuts off with a clunk and the dad is pissed. He is shouting at the bully about how stupid that was and how they have no idea if it’s even life sustainable on the other side! A guard nearby says that the kid is in real serious trouble for so many reasons, only for the dad to chime in that the bully better hope his kid is alive cause if he isn’t, he’ll get a murder charge. The bully explains he didn’t mean to only for most of the class saying that the bully always does this and one student even repeats what he said before he pushed the kid in. They decide to end the tour early and send everyone home, while the bully is escorted out by the guards and won’t be going home soon.
The science team asks what they’re gonna do and the dad says they’re gonna make something. Perhaps a suit or vehicle so that he can go into the portal and find his son. The team nods and quickly gets to work, they know it’ll take more than a few weeks, but maybe if they are lucky the kid will be okay, and maybe they can get it done faster.
Meanwhile, the kid flies through the portal and lands on a soft ground. Panicking he sits up and looks around, only to notice he’s on a huge bed. The portal sent him to a world that was way bigger than his own. Fear strikes him as he realizes where there is a big bed, there’s a big person. He’s right when he looks over across the room and sees a huge person sitting at a desk mumbling to themself. He’s frozen in fear and can’t move, even when the person swings around from their chair and walks over to their bed only to pause and stare at him.
The giant just stared at him, confused as to why there is a tiny child in their bed. They swear they didn’t put them there and are about to say something when the kid just burst out crying and the giant panicked. They quickly kneel by their bed and try to hush the child and tell them that it’s okay. The child keeps sobbing and soft hiccups can be heard, but eventually the kid quiets down a bit. The giant carefully asks how the kid got there, and the boy answers between sobs. The giant listens and the boy eventually bursts into tears again, crying out that they want their dad. The giant gently scoops them up, and holds them close saying “hey, hey, it’s going to be alright. You said your dad was a scientist…sooo he must have seen you get pushed in. I bet he’s trying to get back to you, he just has to figure out how to.” The kid sniffles and asks if the giant really believes that and they nod. They then reassure the kid that they won’t hurt them and that they’ll watch and care for them, until their dad comes to save them. The boy nods and the giant pauses and asks if he likes movies. The boy says yes and that he likes action like movies. The giant then decides that maybe they could watch a movie, to help the boy calm down, they’ll even let the kid choose the movie. He gets a little excited over this and the two of them go and do exactly that. Through this we learn that the worlds are almost identical, but some things are changed like Superman is Aceman, and Ice Cream is Frost Gel. All still the same thing, just named differently, which both the giant and boy find amusing.
The boy stays with the giant for little over a week, getting used to the large surroundings and the movements of the giant. The giant provides a small house to the boy, made of a box and Legos, which the boy had fun playing with and designing that part of the little home. In the other world the dad and his team finally finished the suit. It was built to survive space, acid, lava, and other possibilities. It had a backpack built into the back that held food rations, weapons, tools, and other things for survival. There was also the case, which contained all the parts for a small return portal back home. Which had been tested multiple times….just not cross dimensionally. The suit also had a built in camera that would send live video feed back to the team while the dad, who wanted to be the one who went through, was over there looking for his son. He’d also do some science stuff, like take samples and explore a bit.
The day finally arrives and the dad walks through the portal. He finds himself behind a large plush wall, and he starts to walk around it when he hears booming voices. Meanwhile the giant is laying in bed scrolling through their phone. The kid is sleeping in their little house for a quick nap. Then out of the corner of their eye they see something move out from behind their pillow. The dad looks up and catches the giant’s eye glancing at him. He freezes, and then grabs a weapon from the bag. This causes the giant to freak out and quickly flop out of their bed and onto the floor. The dad runs over and, using the mic in his suit, shouts “WHERE IS HE?!?!?” The giant, confused as hell, asks that the “crazy living action figure dude” please put down the weapon, while also asking what he means. The dad just shouts “IF YOU DID ANYTHING TO HIM I SWEAR I’LL..” the threat falls from his lips as the giant rises above him and cautiously walks over to the little house. They open the top and reach in, carefully waking the boy up and whispering that they have a surprise. The dad, still in a fighting stance, watches as the giant approaches with something in their hands. He’s about to fight, when the giant opens their hands and reveals his son, causing him to freeze. The boy pauses, not recognizing him cause of the suit, but once the dad rips the helmet off, the kid jumps off the giants hand and rushes to embrace his dad.
Both the kid and the dad just tightly hold onto each other as the giant just smiles softly, watching them. They then comment how much of a strong and loving dad the kid has and how the dad has such a brave and smart son. They both look up at the giant, who gives them a sweet smile. The dad explains they can go back home and the son is excited to tell his dad everything he learned about the place. The giant asks if there is anything they can do to help, which the dad asks if there is a safe place to setup a portal device somewhere that isn’t, well, a bed. The giant nods, and offers their hand to the pair. The son quickly hops on and the dad, carefully steps on after a bit of encouragement from his son. The giant takes them to their desk and says they can set it up in the free space near the wall.
After some time the portal is up and running and the dad has some samples, including a hair from the giant, and the small pair is ready to go home. The giant remarks that they’ll probably be seeing more of the tiny people, but says that they are welcome to visit. The boy hugs the giants hand and thanks them for taking care of them. The dad also thanks them for watching over his son, and says that he’s glad that the giant was the one to find his son. They take their leave and the story comes out in their world about what happens. The bully is still charged for some things, mostly messing with official government science stuff, but everything seems fine in the end. Plus the boy made an amazing friend, and the dad found someone he can trust to watch his son.
Anyway, basically what if a portal led to a giant world similar to our own, but it was discovered because some kids decided to mess with a kid. Resulting in the kid getting lost in that world, having to wait to be found or find a way back themself?
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pamouche · 4 months
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If I was able to choose, I’d choose you. Because you’ve always been my number one since the start.
- ayan to akk (in the first trailer of THE ECLIPSE)
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dollypopup · 18 days
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"Colin should have grovelled more!" "Penelope folded too easily"
I think statements like this typically come from people who like Penelope. . .but don't really understand her. And don't really understand just why she cares for Colin, and just why him groveling would not in any way bring her peace.
Penelope and Colin are kindred spirits in their loneliness, in season 3 more than any others. Penelope had lost her friendship with Eloise, and Colin didn't really have a close friend circle to begin with. Except with Pen. Pen was the person he could put the mask down for, could open up to, (in particular with their 'dreams' discussion) and that's why he couldn't even entertain the idea of giving up talking to her in Season 2. She is a vital part of his life, and holds so much significance and importance to him.
I imagine that's what made their silence over his travels especially painful for him. They spent such a long time talking after Season 1, and he even informs her that her letters were so encouraging, that it helped him heal something inside of himself. That if she could see him in a gentle way. . .so could he. (And he repays this, because he is honest to god out here acting and looking at her like she hung the moon in the sky). But without her presence in his life, he spiraled. Didn't feel confident in being who he is, and thus put on his persona more firmly. We know this because he wrote in his journal that "I want to be less needy, less insecure, while still maintaining the core of my vulnerability that makes me who I am". That he misses his family, that he misses home.
And we know, from the books, that Home? Home is Penelope. Penelope is his North Star, is his guiding force, and who I argue he feels he needs. In his very first scene, he looks toward her house, tries to find her in the window. When he does not, he returns to his family. In the outdoor gathering, he looks for her and finds her, eager to talk. He states aloud that he misses her, and I imagine he wrote it, too. Not hearing back from her over the course of his travels was surely something that hurt him, but he doesn't hold any ill will toward her for it, only wants to reconnect again. In fact, the one and only time he brings up how he misses her and that she didn't respond, she makes very clear the reason why: she heard what he said and it hurt her. And he's ashamed of it.
Colin hears her call him cruel, and instead of ruffling his feathers about it, instead of getting upset, instead of having a chip on his shoulder as I feel so many men would about it. . .he understands why she does so.
Penelope is a woman who has been largely treated poorly in her society. She feels unheard, she feels undesired, and in her circumstances, and I can't help but ask myself. . .has anyone ever truly apologized to Penelope for hurting her, before? Her mother? Her sisters? Eloise, likely, but. . .anyone else? And the way Colin did? Because of all the characters in the show, Colin? Colin knows how to apologize. He has a lot of practice in it. And very importantly: Colin, a man of privilege in his society, apologizes. . .predominately to women. To Marina, to his mother, and multiple times to Penelope.
Ultimately, Penelope wants to be heard, Penelope wants to be understood, Penelope wants to feel desired.
And Colin checks every single one of those boxes. He informs he is not who he was before, and then he proves it to her. He hears that he hurt her, and he comments on it directly. An entire night apart, and he comes back to her 'Because I embarrass you' with 'I am most certainly not ashamed of you', replies to her 'I am a laughingstock' with 'you are clever, and warm, and I am proud to call you my good friend'. He hears her proclaim her own insecurities, and empathizes so deeply with her. He listens. He understands. He makes clear that he cares for her, and that she *is* desired. 'You lift my spirits' 'I seek you out at every social assembly'. That she helps him see the world in ways he loves, that he sees HER and how much she has cared for HIM, that she makes him feel appreciated, that he appreciates her, in turn.
And then? Then? He shows her. He tells her, and he shows her. His actions all throughout Season 3 reinforce this apology. He continues looking for her in every corner of every ballroom, he continues complimenting her, he laughs at her jokes and respects her boundaries, he is ever so gentle with her, he listens to her with an attentiveness that no one else has ever given her. To Lady Whistledown? Sure. But to Penelope? Who else in the entirety of that ton has listened to Penelope the way Colin has?
Absolutely no one.
Penelope Featherington ghosts Colin Bridgerton for months with no explanation, and Colin comes back wanting to reach out to her, and she finally tells him why.
And he apologizes. Because he listens. Really, truly listens. And really truly cares.
I need you to understand how rare that is, even nowadays, but especially back then. That Colin is the kind of man who can put his hurt to the side and realize he made a mistake, that he said something callous, and he adores her, and he can't lose her, and he has to see her and make it right.
Because that's why Penelope fell for Colin. Not because he's beautiful, not for his charm, not for his family. But for his heart. Because he shows her kindness in a world that so often disregards her. Because he seeks her out and tries to understand her, truly hears what she has to say and compliments her, says he's sorry and looks at things from her perspective.
Because he saw her when she was invisible.
Penelope Featherington, who grew up in a house that made cruel jabs at her, has Colin Bridgerton come to her and say he regrets what he said, and that he was wrong, and that he understands why she's mad at him. Penelope Featherington who has so rarely had much of anyone tell her that they're sorry for what they said about her, sits before Colin Bridgerton as he professes how much she means to him. That he cannot even spend a full day away from her knowing they're on bad terms with each other without making it right. That he sees how she is hurting and he has to in any way he can amend it. She is lonely, with no one really in her corner at the start of season 3, and she feels like she lost it all, and Colin comes to her and says 'no, I'm here and I appreciate you and you are special to me, please let me in and let me prove it'. Is it any wonder why after she shakes his hand, she stands in the sun, and she feels the warmth of it, she can smile? That she can breathe, again? That she can be truly content for the first time in the season?
Because Penelope Featherington does not want Colin to beg. She knows him. She knows the tender, full heart he hides behind the new cavalier persona. She knows the soft underbelly of Colin Bridgerton.
He never had to grovel. All he had to do was love her. Assuredly. Fervently. Loudly. Unapologetically.
And he does.
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bachirasbodyguard · 6 months
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thatgaymood · 2 years
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Increasingly convinced that the last songs on Will’s playlist will align perfectly with the ending.
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They practically gave Byler endgame away with this song alone.
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mymarifae · 1 year
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i think the most important thing in the world is vbs being best friends who love each other so much and are super affectionate with each other like. listen to me:
- when toya hugs kohane he'll pick her up a tiny bit (a tiny bit is all he can manage. noodle arms) and she squeals with delight every time
- toya just really likes hugs in general. it's suuuuper common for him to just come up behind akito or an or kohane and wrap his arms around them and lean his head against theirs. hello and goodbye hugs with him always last a good 20 seconds because he won't let go sdjfjsnfkd
- kohane loooooves to tuck her hand in the crooks of her teammates' elbows while they're walking together. this way she won't get lost <3 sometimes she'll hold onto like, akito's elbow with one hand and an's with the other. it's very cute. and as vbs has grown closer, she's started to switch to hand holding. (don't tell anyone but akito's her favorite to hold hands with because he swings their arms as they walk and it's cute)
- also, kohane's hair tends to be messy because of her damn hats and this bugs akito so he spends a lot of time fussing over it. he'll just sort of...tug her closer and take out the pigtails and comb through it with his fingers. at some point she starts packing a brush in her bag to placate him. i like to think akito knows how to do hair because ena will sometimes make him do hers so after a while he stops just rebrushing kohane's hair and starts pulling it up in different ways... braiding it... etc... and he starts keeping things like hairspray in His bag. yknow. jic
- the hairstyling extravaganza extends to an and toya too. (i mean there's only so much akito can do with toya but he tries...) it's a calming thing for him - fiddling with his teammates' hair as they plan setlists or wait backstage. and having your hair played with is always nice <3
- i think shortly after teaming up an started giving kohane little kisses on the cheek. not as a romantic gesture - just simple affection! and after a while, she starts kissing toya and akito too. toya is always happy to lean down so she can pepper his face with little platonic kisses, but she usually has to wrestle akito. it's all in good fun and he'll always relent and let her kiss him in the end
- speaking of platonic kisses, i ALSO think that akito gives toya little kisses from time to time. it started back when they were still BAD DOGS. toya wasn't having a great time one night and after soothing him with a good sturdy hug, akito kissed the top of his head. it completely floored toya and akito blew up when he realized what he did. and they never fucking talked about it <3 but since toya didn't seem MAD about it, akito decided to stick with it and kept giving toya kisses like that. it's not common, and he ONLY does it when they're alone. except for when they make up after their little divorce arc in the main story. IGNORE the gunjo sanka mv and listen to me. they HUG after their heart to heart. and akito kisses toya's cheek. right around where he punched him
- but an's overaffectionate nature kind of rubs off on akito after a while. so he becomes less stingy when it comes to kisses and starts giving them to kohane and an too <3
- they lean against each other while sitting like kohane might cuddle into toya's side or an goes and lays her head on akito's shoulder
- and they have sleepovers and they fall asleep comfortably tangled up together (or not comfortably. at all. seriously cuddling while sleeping can get so uncomfy but it's worth it to be so close to someone you love). ken's taken quite a few adorable (and sometimes really funny) pictures of all four of them passed out on piles of blankets and futons. just dad things
i could go on forever it's just. platonic affection is so important to me and it's so frequently Ignored in fandom spaces. and in the case of vbs and the prsk fandom specifically, there's a tendency to separate vbs into akitoya VS anhane. which is so 💔 because the whole POINT of their story is that while they started off as separate duos, that's no longer the case! they've become such good friends. they're inseparable.
like even jokes about akito and an being "wlw and mlm hostility" are starting to wear on me because... they're friends, guys. they're incredibly close. akito is always looking out for an and is right by her side to support her through all the shit she's currently struggling with. there's no "hostility" present in their relationship. like, if you actually look at the game's text, an... rarely teases akito. the person who teases him the most is actually toya but you know... whatever... gotta reduce an down to a mean lesbian amirite... completely ignoring that she's one of the kindest characters in the whole game...
idk. i juuuuuust wish that this fandom wasn't so defensive and obsessive over shipping akitoya and anhane (mostly akitoya while anhane is a second thought but YOU KNOW) because it results in so many people watering down vbs as individuals And as pairs - because all they care about is shipping. like i promise that the other dynamics in vbs are worth exploring (both platonicallyand romantically but too much of this fandom still feels threatened by m/f vbs ships). and hell, explore akitoya and anhane on a platonic level, too! don't just jump to shipping them because teehee boyxboy and girlxgirl. take the time to understand what draws them together in the first place
i love friendship. i love when friends outwardly express their affection for each other and it doesn't have to have any romantic implications. can we talk about friendship for once like this game is literally The Ultimate Friendship Simulator feat. Hatsune Miku
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danyllura · 7 months
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The thing Peeta valued and feared losing most in the games was his humanity. That the games would change him, strip him of his kindness and heart. Death was never his fear. Because Peeta knew early on he likely wouldn’t survive and he also knew that he was willing to die if it increased Katniss’ chances of winning. Again, when he’s pulled into the quarter quell it’s not death he fears. Never death. His humanity is the part of himself he values most, and it is what Snow takes from him with the high jacking. But despite that being his biggest concern from the start of the series, the fear of losing himself and becoming the monster the capitol wants, I have no doubt Peeta would lose himself over and over again if it meant Katniss was safe. Because while Peeta maintaining his humanity is his biggest concern regarding himself, his biggest concern in general is Katniss’ safety, and her survival has always outranked his own needs in terms of importance.
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kisasan · 19 days
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suffarustuffaru · 4 months
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so i talked a bit about reinjulisuba on this blog in the past like in this one ask but now ive made a quick and easy diagram summarizing their whole deal <3
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allbuthuman · 9 months
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i understand (and share) the need for emotionally charged angsty moments, and will very much enjoy it if the manga diverges from the last ep at some points in order to give us some of that, but i think we also need to understand that most of the angst we were making up during the months of waiting was not soukoku-typical and that, despite all the arts and fics and theories (which i also loved), this is how they actually act
pulling off the whole mersault ordeal through coordination, improv and trust while, for all we know, having insufficient information and then showing it off by saying how it was all an act is just like them. it's only disappointing compared to what we wanted from them, not compared to their actual dynamic, and the only thing that makes it anticlimactic is how long we had to wait for it with our minds roaming free. in fact, i don't think that most people reading through the entire arc after it was finished would find it unsatisfying, and i also don't think the characters in a story should be expected to behave as if their actions will be read one tiny bit at a time
i'd still prefer the timing of the manga to be different, taking some time for things to have impact instead of constant action, but the major events in themselves were in character for all the characters involved, and i'm waiting to see how asagiri and harukawa go about it. if they have something very different in mind, i bet they can handle their own characters better than we can
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thiziri · 24 days
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I'M
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STILL
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NOT
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OVER
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THESE 😭❤️
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dirtytransmasc · 9 months
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me when I realize how willing Alicent was to die for her son (she stood between him and a dragon. what was she meant to do? she could do nothing against a dragon. even if she shielded him from the flames, it wouldn't be enough to save him. she stood there, knowing if Rhaenys was set out to kill her son she would go with him. she stood there accepting that if her son died she would go with him. she would protect her baby with her last breath. she would go out holding his hand, head held high, bathed in fire because there was nothing she wouldn't do for her children):
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