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kissitbttr · 1 year

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you think miguel would have a positive reaction when he finds out you like him?

i’d like to think he’d be sooo awkward about it lmao. also not knowing how to react (+doesn’t even believe it)

he’s never had any real relationships before (unless with one many years ago) , maybe few flings here and there but it was never that serious. talking to people has never been his forte, that man is too fucking stoic that others would basically mistaken him as a rock. he holds too much of serious conversations and never know how to let things go, so to some, that could be an ultimate deal breaker.

there had been times where he got hit on multiple times, and he always brushed them off by saying ‘beat it’

he’s never willing to try again. not like he needed to anyway. his mind is already occupied with work.

but then came along you.

you with your pretty eyes,pretty hair, cute bubbly personality and flirty persona that got everyone hooked. he’s seen how you interact with others and he hates it. because you’re so distracting that it would make the others lose focus and he doesn’t appreciate that. he hates it.

or maybe the reason he hates it so much it’s the fact that you always flirt with Ben and call him ‘puddin.’ always running up to him and give him a hug—sometimes he’d see you wrap your legs around him too.

why would you do that? don’t you know that he fucking. hates it?

why would you ever create a nickname only for Ben? what about the others? why not him? why not Miguel?

do you like Ben?

Miguel doesn’t even know why it bothers him, but it does keep him up at night. he doesn’t like you, does he? you two barely talked and even when you do talk it’s mainly work matters. he refuses to like you.

“you’re thinking about her again, aren’t you?”

Lyla’s playful voice snaps him out of his train of thoughts as he quickly remains his posture,

Miguel clears his throat. “don’t know what you’re talking about.” his brows furrowing as his eyes remain focus on his computer screen,

“oh come on, you’re not fooling anybody. i can see the way you look at her when she’s talking or laughing. you’ve got heart eyes, my man.” Lyla teases, smirking lightly. “and i also remember correctly how you almost smash a laptop towards Ben when you saw him with her at the cafeteria and you gave him a ‘pep talk’?”

“because it wasn’t professional. this is not a place where two coworkers can flirt with each other as they please.” he responds lamely, knowing that is not a good enough excuse for Lyla to believe. she’s smarter than that.

“one. i didn’t say anything about them flirting. two. Ben came out of your office shaking and refused to talk to anyone for days! you’re crazy you know that?”

Miguel rolls his eyes, waving his hand over. “get back to work Lyla.”

“you like her.”

“no i don’t” he lies, gulping slightly. see that’s the thing about him. when he lies, he gets nervous. and Lyla can see that crystal clear.

“oh my god you totally do! i knew my instincts never wrong. Jess thought the same too”

“what the—“

“you know, usually? when a guy likes someone he’d ask the girl out. Not being a creep about it and threaten almost everyone at work to stay away from her.”

“i do not. like her” he emphasizes quite heavily, pinching between his forehead with his finger and thumb. “this is not important Lyla, we’ve got better things to do.”

as she about to say what a bad liar he is, she sees a silhouette of a woman walking into the office. you’re entering the room with a smile on your face and give Lyla a small wave as she returns one,

“speak of the angel herself. gotta go!” Lyla cheery voice causing him to whip his head. “Good luck!”

“wait what?! Lyla! Don’t—“ his voice gets cut off once the hologram disappears, groaning afterwards.

he hears your footsteps getting closer but he tries to keep his composure and not acknowledge you. perhaps he’s being an asshole but hey, what else is new?

“ouch. never met someone who’s very unhappy to see me. you’re definitely the first.” you pout pretending to be hurt, taking few steps closer to where he’s at,

he ignores your comment as he keeps his eyes fixated on the screen. “I’m working. what do you need?”

“just stopping by. it’s getting pretty boring out there you know? Miles is nowhere to be seen, Peter is busy with Mayday, Gwen is catching up with Jess and Hobie— i don’t even want to begin. Thought I’d come and see you.”

his heart definitely isn’t beating hard. definitely not.

“aren’t you usually with Ben? i see the two of you always talking in the hallways. why not go to him?”

you groan, throwing your head back as you start walking around. “ugh! all he talks about is muscles and protein sources! not to mention he never skips flexing. he’s got penis for brain, i don’t why you hired that guy. such a Ken doll.”

Miguel is glad that you aren’t facing him. because you manage to bring a small smile to his face with that comment. you’d never gonna let that one go if you see him smiling.

“well he’s good. he’s a great partner. better than Peter, I’d say. no reason to kick him off.”

“oh I’ll kick him alright” you roll your eyes as if it’s the obvious thing and you miss how miguel tries to hold back his laughter. he likes how feisty you get sometimes,

“have you—eaten already?” miguel awkwardly tries to start a conversation once he realizes the two of you sit there in silence for fifteen minutes. he must’ve think that you’re waiting for him to say something,

your lips curve into a small smirk as you watch how adorable he gets when he’s nervous. scratching the back of his head and trying his best to avoid an eye contact. it’s easy to tell how you make him shrink like a little kid crushing on his classmate.

yeah, Jess and Lyla told you everything. so this would be fun

“nope” you shake your head, rolling the chair closer in front of him as you slightly move forward. you admire the way his eyes stare intently into something, how his lower lip poke out in concentration and the way his thick brows knitted together making it impossible for you to stay sane.

does he know he’s handsome as fuck? and sexy too? his rough image and demeanor maybe look a bit intimidating to some but to you?

biggest turn on.

“why, you wanna take me out to lunch or something?”

he chokes at that, eyes finally looking up to you as he sees the playful smile on your face and the way your head tilt to the side. as if you’re teasing him,

“no. it was just a simple question.” he replies boringly. “why haven’t you eaten yet? it’s almost three. quieres enfermarte?”

“well” you start, moving slowly towards his side with him watching you like a hawk, eyeing every move. “i’m actually waiting for you to buy me lunch. there’s a new Asian cuisine in the cafeteria called beef rendang… i think? and boy it smells so good! why don’t we go together? plus you need a fucking break, man. you’ve been at this shit for hours.”

miguel is both surprised and confused. why the sudden invitation? why are you even talking to him? he lightly scoffs at how bold you are but he will never admit how much he likes it,

“why are you suddenly taken an interest in talking to me?”

“what are you talking about?” you ask playing dumb, looping a finger around the belt hole of your flared jeans. “I’ve always been interested.”

his heart skips at that. and he has no idea if you meant it or actually joking.

he says nothing only a hum. you assume that he’s disappointed with your answer because it isn’t specific. so you decide to continue,

leaning your body forward, you’re close enough to invade his personal space as you pretend to whisper a dark secret. “because i like you. like—like you like you. isn’t it obvious?”the answer is simple. pretty straightforward and you guess that he doesn’t get that often because of how he reacts.

he halts. beautiful eyes widen in surprise as he slowly turns to you who wears the opposite expression. a wide smile painted on your glossed lips, legs swinging back and forth—he admits that you look cute doing that—blinking your eyes rapidly in flirty manner.

you’re the only person who can make him weak on his knees. everyone can see that.

“what?”

“what you just said.” he points, now his work left abandoned. deciding to focus on you. “did you mean it?”

“every word.”

“are you sure?”

“why is it so hard for you to believe me?” you ask out of curiosity. brows furrowed as your arms crossed,

“nothing it’s just—“he scratches his head, looking down because he’s afraid if he looks into your eyes he’d form into a puddle. “you were never—you never said anything, carińo. i didn’t even think you like me.”

you nod, crossing your legs. “I’m just gonna ignore how you call me that unless you want me to get down on my knees and give you the best fucking head you will ever have.”

for what it’s like a hundredth time, he blushes at your choice of words. God, you have no filter at all.

“how could i say something when all you do is talk serious shit all the time? can’t even joke with you Miguel. people are basically scared of you. hell! even I’m terrified of you.” you confess,

“is that why you never—call me names?”

“what, a dick? or an ass?”

“no!” he exclaims, sounding offended. wondering if that what you must have thought of him back then. “i mean—you never give me a nickname—only with Ben” he mutters, feeling embarrassed of having to admit that out loud,

you scrunch your nose. “puddin? why is that even—ohhh” a sudden realization hit you and that’s where you laugh, throwing your head back and Miguel looks irritated at the fact you’re laughing,

“something funny?”

you nod your head vigorously, still laughing a bit as you wipe a tear from the corner of your eye. “Jess and Lyla are sooo right. you’re jealous.”

“i’m not!”

“hmm yes you are.” you giggle, seeing how his lips form into a pout and the skin between his eyebrows wrinkled. “that’s cute though. i promise not to tell anyone.”

he huffs, but internally relieved that you’re keeping your mouth shut. he will never hear the end of it by anyone if that one gets out.

“so..” he trails, releasing a small sigh. “you.. like me..?”

once again you nod, “i do.”

“g-good cause uh—i kinda like you too.”

“kinda?” you pretend to get hurt, hand over your heart. “is that all?! I’m quite offended! i poured my heart out to you!”

“ay, bueno listo! a lot! i like you—a lot.” he finally confesses, leg bouncing up and down due to nerves. “i just don’t how to say it or at least—act like it.”

“i can see that. you’re horrible at showing emotions except for anger, Miguel.” you reply, standing from your seat as you extend your hand to him. "but don't worry. i'll show you how to love. now come on."

he quirks an eyebrow, giving you an questioning look. "what are you doing?"

"uhm, getting some food? i'm starved. and you're coming with me. you have to eat something" a smile reaches your lips as he begins to mirror your expression while placing his hand on yours before standing up as well. you like how he towers over you. he’s a freakishly large man

“okay. i’d like that actually, querida.”

you give him a toothy grin. both of your hands are intertwined as the two of you walk towards the exist. you sense Miguel feeling awkward about the hand holding thing so you decide to ease his nerves by rubbing your thumb slightly against his skin.

“oh and also. you shall worry not a single thing about the whole nickname thing. you can choose what you like to be called by me and it’s all yours.”

a/n: this turned into a long ass fic im sorry lol

also does this one make sense? i feel like it’s rushed:// nevertheless hope you enjoy!

[i would let this man tear my pu—*phone drops*]

#miguel o’hara fluff #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o’hara #miguel o’hara blurbs

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blackbatcass · 6 days

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helloo :D

So, I keep seeing people saying that Jason is Bruce’s favorite child, and the only one that was actually like a son to Bruce. (aside from Damian) Also that just because Dick and Bruce were partners/brothers too, it means that Dick isn’t really like Bruce’s son. How Jason and Bruce are each other’s favorite and Dick wishes he could be Bruce’s son (basically it just gets worse and worse jekskenjske)

AND I DON’T REALLY GET THIS AT ALL.. I COMPLETELY DISAGREED

But then I saw SO MANY posts about this (just getting harsher and harsher LMAO) and I thought I’d ask someone who knew more. So, yeah, here I am!

Thanks for answering if you do, and have a wonderful day!

anon do you want me dead. is that what's happening here

JK JK my first fanon jason ask... what a historic day! basically you're completely right. I don't know where this frankly insane take comes from but whenever me, my mutuals, and pretty much anyone in this corner of the dc fandom sees a post like it we roll our eyes to the heavens. to put it simply the idea that jason is bruce's favorite and the only one he actually loved like a son is a complete fucking lie lol.

first of all to claim that bruce didn't love dick like a son is......I mean. let's just say people saying that have probably never read a comic with bruce and dick before. literally the number one thing to know about these characters is that the love bruce and dick have for each other can be seen from outer space. they have never been normal about each other. bruce raised dick since he was eight. they are thee og codependent father-son partners 'we saved each other we are pack bonded for life if anything happened to him i'd kill everyone in this room and then myself' duo. I mean... there is nuance to be had where they had a very complicated tangled up hard-to-label relationship that had elements of being father & son, elements of being brothers, and ofc partners as batman and robin but that is a function of their relationship being TOO crazy and close not the other way around lol. it is patently true that bruce and dick know each other better than anyone else in the world. it is pretty much true that if you're going to play the favorites game, it's hard to deny that dick is bruce's favorite. that's his eldest his most trusted his saving grace his person who understands him better than anyone. I could pull like an endless amount of panels as evidence that dick was bruce's favorite. there are so many 'dick is the only thing i did right' 'i only feel pride when i look at nightwing' etc etc. dick is his child in every way that matters basically

which is not to say that jason isn't bruce's son! he definitely is! bruce does love jason, but jason was his second kid lol. and it's...i mean jason was robin for a very short time in the grand scheme of things. you can blow through his robin run super fast because it's just not very long. the idea that bruce loved jason more or there's more of a father-son bond to be found in the few issues they were together for as opposed to the 10 years dick was robin is actually insane. bruce literally admitted that the reason he let jason be robin was because he missed dick. lol. lmao even.

basically yeah claiming that jason is bruce's favorite and dick was never treated as bruce's son is just a lie. it's not true. it's like that 'jason is tim's favorite robin' nonsense that was going around a few months ago; it completely ignores canon and essential character elements in jason's favor. I don't know why some jason fans are so obsessed with putting him up on a pedestal by bashing other characters on his behalf. and like...it is possible to have two sons? and love them both? lmfao? and that's not even getting into like tim and cass (also bruce's adopted children). I don't know why people just decided this was a thing but it is false<3

#ask #NOT maintagging this bc i don't want to die<3 #but thank you for the q anon. i am honored that you trusted me to answer a fanon question.#like i guess you can use the 'dick wasn't technically adopted until he was an adult!!!!' as a gotcha but #it doesn't. it doesn't mean anything lol #he was technically a 'ward' bc he was created in the 30s. and that was just. normal back then i guess #same thing with roy and other sidekicks #but yeah.#fanon comes up with a lot of wack takes but #'dick was never really bruce's son jason was the favorite'#is ESPECIALLY FUCKING BONKERS lol #like #WHAT

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semperama · 4 months

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Soak + dosh please

This is way too long for tumblr and I'm sorry, but it totally ran away with me. Also there is going to be a Part 2, I promise. Also I'll put it on AO3 later when I can think of a title lmao. Please forgive me because I have no idea how to write Josh yet, but this was fun!!

----

It’s probably crazy for Daniel to be in the back half of his 30s and still feel like a fucking imposter all the time.

He opens the door to Josh tossing a football back and forth from hand to hand, mouth curved into a grin, and has to bite down on the inside of his cheek just until it hurts, just to make sure this is real. He heard a story once—maybe an urban legend—about a man who was in a coma and thought he lived a whole entire life, great job and wife and kids and the whole nine. Sometimes he thinks that could be him. F1 driver, friends with fucking—movie stars and NFL players. It’s all a little much when just a minute ago he was a kid with goofy hair and crooked teeth and a sense of humor no one got.

“Hey,” Josh says, with his stupid handsome face. “Good to see you, man.”

Daniel steps back to let Josh in and wills the blood vessels in his face to fucking cool it. “Welcome to my humble abode,” he jokes. Another thing to be self-conscious about, this stupid-huge house that’s always empty. It’d be great for parties, but Daniel’s never thrown one.

They should have made other plans, Daniel thinks. A concert. A movie. A bar. Hanging out at home—who does that? Teenagers?

“Humble indeed,” Josh says with a chuckle, elbowing Daniel in the ribs as he walks by. “They don’t pay you anything to drive those cars, huh?”

“Yeah, I’m barely scraping by.” Daniel settles into the banter, grateful for it. “Can I get you anything? I have water, stale bread, maybe some mouse droppings…”

Josh throws his head back at that one, his laugh sending electric tingles down Daniel’s spine. “No beer hidden anywhere?” he asks, and Daniel grins at him, indulgent.

“I think I can rustle one up for you, maybe.”

He waves Josh out to the patio and then heads into the kitchen to grab two bottles out of the fridge. It’s the middle of the season, just a couple weeks until he has to be in Austin, so he probably should be sticking to clear liquor if anything, but who’s here to judge him?

“Did you bring that for me?” Daniel asks when he emerges into the sunshine, nodding at the football Josh cradles in one palm as the takes the beer bottle from Daniel with the other.

The corner of Josh’s mouth tilts upward. “You just about creamed yourself last time we tossed the ball around,” he says. “I figured I’d make your day.”

“My year, more like.” Daniel can’t deny it; Josh has his number on this one. “I don’t want you to be bored, though. You do this for a living.”

“You ever get tired of racing?” Josh asks.

Daniel chuckles, shaking his head. “Touche.”

There’s no grassy field behind Daniel’s house to play in, but they make do with the long strip of pool deck, all the chairs pushed to the side. At first, they just toss the ball back and forth lazily. That’s honestly enough for Daniel, just watching the satisfying spiral of the ball and feeling the slap of leather against his palms. It’s warm and breezy and Josh keeps grinning at him—he could do it all fucking day.

But eventually he gets antsy, wants to make sure Josh is still having fun, so he starts trying to make things difficult, prancing back and forth, sometimes running to the other side of the pool. It feels better when Josh is laughing at him. It feels like he’s pulling his weight.

“Come on, really throw one,” he says, holding his hands up in preparation. Josh chuckles at him, pulls his arm back, hesitates, and then lets it fly. This time, when it hits Daniel’s hands, the sound is loud, echoing. It fucking stings.

Daniel wants it again.

“Is that, like, your maximum?” he asks as he lobs it back.

Josh grins and shakes his head. “Nah, man. I don’t want to hurt you. You gotta be able to hold a steering wheel in a few days.”

“Oh, come on,” Daniel says, hopping from foot to foot and shaking out his arms. “You won’t hurt me. I can take it.”

Josh quirks and eyebrow at him. “You sure do talk a big talk, Ricciardo.”

All the blood rushes to Daniel’s face. He can only hope he’s already red enough from exertion and the sun that Josh won’t notice. Josh seems so fucking implacable, but Daniel’s been soaked in sweat and breathing hard for a while now, his t-shirt clinging to his chest. He pinches the fabric and unsticks it, letting some of the breeze in, but doesn’t help much.

“Just once,” Daniel says, unable to help the pleading note in his voice. “I want to know what it’s like.”

Josh walks over to the table near the house where their sweating beer bottles sit and takes a long swig. Daniel watches the bob of his throat, watches him lick the moisture from his bottom lip when he sets the bottle back down. When he turns back toward Daniel, he starts tossing the ball from hand to hand again, putting a spin on it, the silence stretching until it makes Daniel’s skin prickle with discomfort.

“Alright,” Josh says at last, “but I don’t want to hear your crying if it hurts.” He beckons Daniel with two fingers. “Come here. I need to show you how to catch it first.”

“I know how to catch it,” Daniel says, but he jogs over anyway.

“You know how to catch a ball thrown by a buddy,” Josh says. When Daniel stops a couple feet away, Josh lunges for his wrist and drags him in closer. “You don’t know how to catch a pass thrown by one of the most powerful arms in the NFL.”

“Fuck,” Daniel says, embarrassingly, out loud. He jerks his wrist out of Josh’s hand and wipes his palms on his shorts. “Fine, fine. Show me, then.”

Josh tucks the ball into his armpit, then cups his hands together, a foot or so out from his chest. “This is the way you have been catching it,” he says. “Which is good if you’re a professional receiver. But this time—” He brings his hands to his chest and turns his palms upward— “let it hit your chest first and kinda fall into your hands.”

He motions for Daniel to show him, and Daniel mimics his hand placement as best he can, hands cupped near his stomach. Josh rolls his eyes and puts his hands under Daniel’s, nudging them upward and squeezing, molding them into the shape he wants. His fingers are softer than Daniel thought they’d be, maybe a little callused but still gentle. Daniel can feel his heart thundering against his ribs, and he can only hope Josh can’t feel it too, close as he is.

“And, uh,” Daniel says, voice cracking, “what’ll happen if I don’t to it right?”

“Oh, nothin’ much.” Josh grins, winks at him. “Just a broken finger or two, maybe. But I hear you already have some experience with that anyway.”

Daniel lets out a nervous, high-pitched giggle. “Christ.”

“I’m just messing with you,” Josh says. “I’ve never broken anyone’s fingers.” He pushes on Daniel’s shoulder, like he’s trying to wrestle some of the tension out of him, then points past Daniel’s ear to the far side of the pool. “Go to that corner over there. Then put your hands like I showed you. I’ll put the ball where it needs to be, and you’ll be fine.”

If Josh keeps talking like that, Daniel’s pretty sure he’s going to embarrass the hell out of himself. His shorts are too loose, too thin, and he’s already half hard in them. He wonders, sometimes, if players get like this during games, if it’s normal to be turned on by the perfect tight spiral or the smack of leather against your skin. He’s not sure if it’s the game, the thrill of it, or if it’s Josh, all that power right up close, all of it focused on Daniel.

He turns and jogs back over to the far side of the pool, getting as close to the edge of the deck as he dares. Sweat is dripping into his eyes, and swiping a forearm across his head doesn’t help much. After this, a cold shower. He fucking needs it.

“Alright,” Josh calls to him, “you ready?”

Daniel puts his hands in position and looks to Josh for approval. “Like this?”

“That’s fine,” Josh says. “A little higher, maybe.” Daniel brings his hands up another inch, and Josh nods at him. “That’s good. Now…don’t move.”

The windup feels like it takes forever. Daniel watches Josh’s arm, the bulge of his bicep, the way the muscles of his forearm shift as he brings the football up past his ear. His feet jig a little, his body arcs back. The expression on his face—it’s like he’s already so fucking pleased with himself, and he ball hasn’t even left his hand yet. Daniel wants to reach down and adjust himself, but he can’t move. He isn’t allowed to move. Josh told him not to.

Then, suddenly, the ball is shooting through the air, so fast Daniel can’t even track it like he should. Good thing Josh is a pro and didn’t need Daniel to track it. It hits his chest right where it was supposed to, so hard it nearly knocks the wind out of him, and his fingers curl around it instinctively, hugging it into his body.

“Holy fuck, mate,” Daniel says in disbelief. His palms are still stinging from the last throw, and now his chest aches, and—he feels like he’s losing his mind, but he wants more. It’s still not enough. He wants to catch ten more passes like this. Twenty. He wants his whole chest to hurt, his whole body to be one big bruise.

“You okay?” Josh says, and suddenly he’s right there in front of Daniel again, prying the football out of his hands. “All good?”

“Yeah, I—” Unthinkingly, Daniel reaches down and lifts up the hem of his shirt, looks down at his chest. He expected—maybe was hoping—to see a mark there already, but the skin is just a little red, a faint starburst in the center of his breastbone.

“You’ll have a hell of a bruise there tomorrow,” Josh says. He pokes the spot with two fingers, and the throb of pain makes Daniel’s dick throb in sympathy. If Josh looks down, Daniel’s fucked.

Of course, Josh does look down.

“Hmm.” The sound comes from somewhere deep in Josh’s chest, and this time Daniel’s whole body throbs. “Is that for me? Or the ball?”

That nervous laugh bubbles out of Daniel’s mouth again. He feels so fucking unsexy right now, like he’s in one of those nightmares where’s he’s shown up to school in his underwear. “I dunno, dude,” he says. “You get a personal demonstration of the talent of someone you admire and see how you react.”

“Mhm,” Josh hums again, thoughtfully this time. “No, I know.”

He touches Daniel again, pressing his thumb against the spot on Daniel’s chest and rubbing gently. Anymore of this, and Daniel’s going to have to climb out of his own skin. He takes a deep, shaky breath and pastes on a smile, then steps backward so Josh’s hand is hovering in midair, nothing left to touch.

“Anyway.” Daniel steps out of his shoes. He tugs his shirt off the rest of the way, refusing to notice whether Josh is still looking or not. “I gotta get out of this heat. You coming?”

He’s a coward, but he doesn’t wait for Josh’s answer, only steps around him and takes a flying leap into the pool. The cool water closes over his head like relief. He floats there, weightless, until his lungs burn.

#daniel/josh #dosh #my writing #f1 #sorta #sorry but i had to post this right away #because i'm self-conscious and i'll never post it if i don't post it right now ahaha

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nervousgardenerkid · 2 years

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I wish I knew you wanted me.

a/n: okay i honestly didn't think it was gonna be this long,,,,so i had to split it into two parts LMAO part two will probably(?) be up tomorrow? or on tuesday :D enjoy this steve angst mwah mwah! credit to gif owner!

read part two here!

There was one thing that was clear in Steve Harrington’s crazy upside-down life.

He doesn't get the girl. He never does. He didn't get Nancy, he didn't get the girl he went on a day with last week, and he most definitely, didn't get you. He watched with a glare as you and….you and…okay Steve doesn't even remember his name, he just doesn't know if he chooses to forget it on purpose or if he's gotten in one too many unsuccessful fights.

“Jesus dude,” Robin mumbled as she came back with a small stack of tapes in her arms. “You know, if you stare a little harder a laser may magically appear and vaporize him.”

“You think so?” he mumbled while glaring a little harder as she suggested.

“No, you dingus!”

He let out a sigh and finally looked away from your giggling figure while running his hands through his hair.

“I just don't get what she sees in him!”

“Maybe it's the fact that he, oh I don't know confessed to her, unlike someone I know.”

Steves let out a sigh and tried to fight the urge to look over at you but failed. You were wrapped in the arms of…whatever his name is, smiling while trying to choose a movie.

“For the last time Robin she didn’t feel that way about me, and she sure as hell doesn't now.”

Robin rolled her eyes and clutched a tape in her hands trying so hard not to throw it at him. She can't let the intrusive thoughts win, not today at least.

“My god it's a good thing you're good-looking cause clearly your brain refuses to work.”

Steve turned to her with a smirk and ran a hand through his hair.

“You think I'm good-looking?”

“I think you're an idiot.”

“Fuck you.”

Robin didn't have time to register the fact that you were coming up to the counter before she launched the tape at Steve only to let out a groan as he caught it with no trouble.

“You guys are kinda cute together,” a deep voice said

You let out a snort only to cover it up with a cough.

“Oh, we're not-”

“It's all platonic with a capital P over here Mason.”

Mason! That was his name…ew. Steve thought while he stepped forward ready to take Pretty In Pink out of your pretty hands.

“Hi, Steve,” you said with a smile.

It took everything in him to not fall to his knees and finally confess everything he's been feeling for nearly a year. Who knew saving the world multiple times together could cause so many emotions to bloom? His thoughts were cut short when he felt a foot step on his not so lightly. He curses whoever pissed off Robin today cause he's the one who has to deal with her temper.

“Hey Y/N, just pretty in pink for today?”

You opened your mouth but Mason cut you off.

“Yeah, just that stupid movie for today.”

You rolled your eyes and pushed Mason away from you.

“It's not a stupid movie! I saw it at the theatres with Steve and it was really good!”

Mason let out a snort and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jacket.

“Well since you both love it so much then maybe you can watch it with him.” he sneered out.

you let out a sigh and turned to look at him while mumbling “Mason cmon, we were having such a good day-”

“Actually I'd love to watch it with them,” Steve said while standing a little straighter than before. Robin let out a quiet “oh boy” before making herself comfortable against the counter.

Mason scoffed and stepped around you that way he was face to face with Steve. “You know, if I didn't know any better, I’d think king steve is trying to get a date with my girl.”

Steve swallowed hard trying not to say what he wanted to say. Maybe he was asking you on a date despite you having a boyfriend. Hell, maybe he could treat you better. No, scratch that, he could definitely treat you better than Mason could. His thoughts were cut short when you let out an awkward chuckle.

“Okay Mason that's enough,-”

“No, I don't get why you hang out with this loser. He's a high school has been and he doesn't have anything going for him besides this lame-ass job! Doesn't he babysit on the weekends or something?”

Robin let out a scoff and stood by Steve.

“The hell are you talking about with this whole high school has been? What exactly are you doing with your life?”

Mason let out a scoff and said something to Robin that caused bickering between them. Steve tuned them out and looked down at his hands. He knew he didn't like Mason but now he really doesn't like him, although he did make a couple of points. In Steve’s eyes, he didn't have much going for him. Every day was the same. Wake up, go to work, take robin home, pick up Dustin, Mike, and Lucas to take them to the arcade, then he goes home to repeat everything the next day. Oh god, he is a loser. He blinks rapidly trying to push down the negative thoughts and emotions that are stirring inside him.

Don't cry, Steve. Whatever you do, don't cry in front of the girl of your dreams and her stupid, mean ugly- his thoughts are cut off when he hears a loud smack echo throughout the store.

“We're fucking done,” you said with venom replacing the usual sweet tone you have.

“Are you seriously-”

“Yes! Yes, I'm seriously dumping your ass in Family Video in front of my best friends! Get the hell away from me!”

“Have fun walking home then!” Mason shouted as he stormed out of family video.

The tension in the air was thick as Robin cleared her throat.

“Steve you should totally take Y/N home.”

Steve turned his head towards her his mouth slightly opened as he mumbled out a small “huh?”

Robin kicked his shin and tilted her head towards you. “Y/N. Home. Take. Her.”

“Oh. Oh! Y-yeah I can totally take you home!” Steve rushed out while fumbling around for his keys.

“But what about robin-”

Robin waved her hand and insisted Nancy would pick her up cause she needed to rant about Jonathan to someone. Steve nodded his head and jumped over the counter ready to walk out the door with you until Robin said something.

“Hey Y/N?”

You nodded your head at her signaling for her to continue. She put a hand over her heart and glanced at Steve before looking back at you.

“I love you.”

You tilted your head to the side and furrowed your eyebrows. “Thanks Robs…I love you too.”

Robin let out a sigh of relief and chuckled.

“Wow, that just…it feels nice to get off of my chest.” she locked eyes with Steve and cleared her throat “It’s almost freeing in a way! Like, oh I don't know like someone could say it and fix so many problems!”

Steve rolled his eyes as he got the not-so-subtle message from a robin. He flipped her the bird and sent her a sweet smile.

“Robin…did you hit your head today?”

Robin’s jaw dropped and put her hand near her heart. “I just told you I loved you and that's all you have to say?”

“I said I loved you too-”

“Well!” Steve chuckled out “we better get going bye robin I owe you one!” Steve said while he guided you out the door.

“Idiots,” she mumbled. “They're both idiots.”

The ride back to your house was silent. You and Steve we're both too caught up in your thoughts, what if you thought he was a loser and that's why you never liked him? Why the hell did robin randomly say she loved you?

“Hey, so I'm sorry-”

“Steve I'm sorry-”

You both stopped talking and let out small laughs.

“You first,” you said while turning towards him.

He nodded his head putting the car in park once he reached your driveway and let out a sigh. “Um, sorry,” he started “about you and Jason-”

“Mason.”

“Whatever the fuck his name is.”

You rolled your eyes with a smile on your face and grabbed his hand. He tried to ignore the warmth that danced along his face as he turned the other way praying that you didn't see.

“Don't worry about him. I'm sorry about all the stuff he said about you.”

A dry chuckle escaped his lips, he shrugged his shoulders.

“‘S fine. He kinda had a point.”

“Steve no-”

He shook his head as he let go of your hand and anxiously chewed on his fingernails. “It's like everyone was right about me ya know? I-I don't have anything going for me, and my closest friends are a group of high school children. I love them, I do but,” he puts his hands in the air trying to find the right words. “I see everyone I use to know find something for themselves. They found their dream career, and they find the perfect college to attend,” he locks eyes with you. “They find that perfect person who always makes them smile. The person who can make everything seem fine even when the world goes to shit. The person who makes the feel, fuck my mind is blanking.” he mumbles while snapping his fingers trying to find the right words.

"Makes them feel whole,” you whisper.

“Yes! That's the word! God, you're so smart.”

“Have you found that person?” you asked. You find yourself silently praying he says no, and if he says no you pray that he opens his god damn eyes and finally sees you. He nods his head and your heart drops as you see a smile make its way on his face.

“Yeah, yeah I have.”

You nod your head and sniffle while letting out a shaky laugh. “Cool. I mean, that's good. Um, I think I'm gonna head inside now. Pretty sure my parents are wondering where I am.”

Steve feels his shoulders drop and he clears his throat.

“Yeah. Yeah of course. I'll um, see you around?”

You nod your head and mumble “thanks for the ride.” while slipping out of the car and walking into your home. Steve stares at the front door and blinks multiple times. Every bone in his body is aching to run after you. His arms are dying to wrap themselves around you, and his lips crave leaving small kisses on your delicate skin. He wants to run to you, he wants you to be his but for some reason, he can't bring himself to get out of the car. The fear of rejection is much too strong and overpowering every other emotion he's feeling.

He reverses out of your driveway and makes his way home with a heavy heart, mumbling how stupid he was for even thinking he had a chance. He knew robin would kill him for not confessing how he felt but he has a bad habit of biting his tongue in situations like this.

If only he knew how you wished that he wanted you.

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington #steve harrington angst #steve harrington imagine #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine #steve harrington fluff

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columbiastapshoes · 4 months

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headcanons part 3‼️‼️ crazy‼️

hey guys it’s me the person with the regular posting schedule and normal amount of thoughts about this movie! woo hoo! this one is a bit shorter, my sk8 hyperfixation has been completely taking over my brain LMAO but without further ado here u go!

-columbia has a stuffed animal that she is extremely emotionally bonded to. i’d like to think it’s a rabbit with big floppy ears and it’s made out of that kind of rough towel-like texture ykwim?? but anyways she’s had it since she was little and it’s so dirty and has no stuffing in its neck anymore but she refuses to fix or clean it and just carries it around everywhere

-magenta fucking loves earth candy. homegirl is trying to keep up the “i hate this planet it has no redeeming qualities” act but as soon as someone walks into the room with gummy bears she goes absolutely feral

-frank is scared of cats. yes, i know he has the mannerisms of a cat and that is why it’s funnier to me that when he sees a cat he will just leave the room. but also he’s not like an “AAAAAAHHHH A CAAAT THATS SO SCAARRRYYY” person like he’s trying to be subtle about it and won’t admit to being scared but it doesn’t fool anyone

-brad LOVES 50s love songs and also jazz of all kinds. stole this bit from a fanfic but his nickname for frank is sinatra :3 but anyways he’s always playing an ella fitzgerald or doris day vinyl and humming along to the melody while he reads or does other stuff

-frank either wakes up at 5 am or 2 pm. no in between.

-is columbia a dancer? yes. does she use those skills when she’s just dancing to music by herself? absolutely not. she bounces to the beat like a toddler. i love her.

-frank again :3 that bitch absolutely has pierced ears, belly button, and tongue. the movie isn’t canon and i know what i’m talking about <3

-magenta is goth most of the time but when it gets really hot and she cannot survive in all black she gives up and goes whimsigoth with purples and dusty pinks and browns <3

-rip columbia u would have loved electro swing

-ever wondered how riff got that hunch in his back? i have the answer! when he and magenta were little he tried to cut her hair while she was sleeping and she judo flipped him and it just never healed properly

-i could have sworn i posted this one before but i can’t find it? so im just gonna say it now- after the movie events (in my brain no one dies and brad and janet unofficially move in let me have this) janet is trying so hard to be supportive of everybody and im picturing her and magenta as that customwoodburning clip that’s like “are you a les-bin?” “yes ma’am i am” “AWESOME‼️‼️‼️ 🔥🔥🔥”

-magenta is a witch and has an altar in her room, the first time brad went in there he accidentally bumped into it and was scared that the spirits were gonna be mad and kill him and magenta was jokingly like “yeah. ur dead” and he was like “oh no D:” and she had to clarify it was a joke

-frank reads erotic novels at the dinner table and comments on them out loud 🫶

-columbias favorite animal is a jellyfish. i have no reasoning but nell campbell indirectly talked to me and i have been hyperfixated on this movie for over 2 years so u can trust me on this one

#rocky horror picture show #rocky horror #rhps #rocky horror au #frank n furter #brad majors #magenta rhps #columbia rhps #rocky horror show #janet weiss

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berryjoong · 1 year

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✩ devil by the window - hwang hyunjin - part two ✩

part one

pairing: demon!hyunjin x angel!afab reader

summary: the words hyunjin left you with keep ringing in your ears, there’s only one way to ensure your fate.

song: devil by the window ~ tomorrow x together

word count: 6.4k (oops)

tags: @midsoulz @sanxoxodra

warning: smut under the cut, minors do not interact!! oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), angel x demon dynamics, unprotected sex (pls don’t do this), creampie, egregious of use of the pet name angel, ummmm idk what else to put this is kinda terrible lmao

small a/n: lol part two is finally here!! sorry that took forever i really tried to keep the same dynamics but also slowly change them over time into smth more romantic. this is so long and still under editing but i wanted to finally get it posted! i hope you all enjoy and drop a request if you’d like!

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“you were my mission all along, angel.”

“anytime you wanna give up and come home with me, you’re welcome.”

hyunjin’s words rang in your ears long after he said them. no matter what you did, you couldn’t escape the words running circles in your head. it felt like they followed you wherever you went, haunting the corners of your mind.

it had been a few days since he’d let his true agenda slip, along with an offer for you to “come home” with him. you’d never admit it, but you’d been thinking about it more than you’d ever expected.

you knew what it meant, leaving your own home up in heaven and fully rejecting everything you’d ever known. you couldn’t figure out why you were even thinking of leaving, it wasn’t that you were doing it for love, you didn’t even like hyunjin. and yet, there was something in the deep recesses of your brain that kept telling you to go for it, to just let go and give into what the pesky demon wanted.

all you could chalk it up to was just that you thought it a better fate to leave on your own than be sentenced down to hell if ever anyone discovered what you two did in the shadows.

but then there was the other side of your mind, the more rational side that knew you were crazy. if hyunjin was this insufferable now, what would he be like if you did give in and let him have his way? he’d hold it over your head forever. he’d be able to take the credit for dragging you down and the last thing you wanted to see was his smug smile staring back at you for the rest of eternity.

you knew the smart move was just to wait until your human passed, take their soul back to heaven and just forget everything you’d ever done with the thorn in your side demon.

it was exactly what you planned to do. it was what you had to do and you knew that, too. your human was getting old by this point, you only had to hold out a few years more, no problem.

no problem… right?

right.

hyunjin, on the other hand, was acting like he’d already dragged you down to hell and completed his mission. he sauntered around more than normal, smug little smile plastered on his face as he continued tormenting you as always.

“something on your mind, little angel?” he asked, an eyebrow quirked as he looked at you.

you snapped out of the daze you were in and glared over at him. “whatever i’m thinking is none of your business, demon. if i say another word, you’re liable to just drag me with you.”

hyunjin shrugged nonchalantly as he walked closer to you. “i can’t take you unless you choose to go.”

“and why would i choose to go with you, hmm? i’d never spend an eternity with you if i had a choice.” you held his gaze as he halted his steps in front of you.

“but that’s just it, isn’t it? one little word to your higher ups and your choice goes poof! you know that as well as i.” there was that stupid smile again, as if he knew he had you in his little trap before you’d even said anything.

you shook your head, slowly taking a step back from him. you wouldn’t give him what he wanted, you couldn’t. “i’ll never give into you,” you shot back at him, your eyes burning into his.

hyunjin stepped forward, easily closing the distance between you, small smile growing into something utterly devilish. “we’ll see about that, angel.”

and that was how it continued.

•••

you didn’t know why you’d done it. maybe his words really had scared you that much. either way, there was no going back now. it wasn’t like you had much of a choice anyway, you’d never been good at just denying him and leaving.

your human had finally died. and barely, just barely it seemed, you scraped the soul away from hyunjin and brought it safely up to heaven. in the back of your mind you knew he let you take it, he had his sights set on a mission far above a simple human soul.

and now, here you were, readying yourself to leave heaven, leave your home.

truthfully, you had no obvious reason for leaving, but something inside your brain nagged at you, reminding you of the mischievous gleam in hyunjin’s eyes the last time you saw him. he was up to no good, he never was, and you didn’t want to stay to find out what he’d do with the heavy blackmail he had against you. you hadn’t gone with him and you knew that was a blow to his more than massive ego.

he’d stop at nothing to make sure his mission was completed and so, before he could get you damned for all eternity, you would do it yourself. leaving heaven and turning to the other side was the most damning offense one could commit.

you didn’t feel like you had another choice, it was only a matter of time before your demon counterpart enacted revenge for his failed mission. you’d be damning yourself but anything was better than seeing the smug demon get his way and condemn you himself.

you stopped at the edge of the heavenly threshold, white light still surrounding you, and looked down, down, all the way to the very pits of hell below you. you turned to look back at the gates of your beautiful home once more and felt a single tear roll down your cheek.

taking a deep breath, you closed your eyes, and jumped.

•••

“angel? angel, what the fuck are you doing?”

the hushed, hurried words were the first thing you heard as your consciousness started coming back to you. the second thing you noticed was the strong arms that kept you held securely.

that voice though, you’d know it anywhere. it was public nemesis number one and the sole cause of you being here, hyunjin. as soon as you recognized that voice, you tried squirming away, rolling out of the arms that had a hold on you.

“oh no, angel, i have you here, i’m not letting you go now,” the voice said, a sharp chuckle following. you opened your eyes, slowly blinking as the demon’s face focused above you. he seemed focused, perfect eyebrows knitted together as he held you in his arms. you vaguely registered the feeling of walking, a door being shoved open and being set down on a soft surface. a bed?

“wh-what are you doing?” your words were soft and unsure as you kept your eyes trained on the demon that had taken you in. he was walking around the room you were in casually, pulling a blanket out of the small dresser in the corner. hyunjin came back to where you were laid on the bed and spread the blanket across your form.

“i’m just making sure you didn’t get scooped up by any other… lowlifes that stay around here. they’re not all as nice as i am, you know.” he raised an eyebrow, directing a pointed stare your way. “the real question is, what are you doing down here? that was quite a trip and fall you had.”

at his remark you scoffed and looked away from him. “i didn’t fall, i jumped.”

that seemed to pique his interest more, both eyebrows now raised in surprise. “oh, really? and why would you want to do that, hmm?”

“because i didn’t- i don’t trust you,” you sneered back at him. “you didn’t complete your little mission, there’s no way you expect me to believe that you’d play fairly after that. i just figured damning myself was better than you doing it for me.”

hyunjin shrugged, as if contemplating your words. “true, i thought about it, but i figured you’d finish my work for me. and here you are, so it would seem i was right.”

“i did it on my own,” you shot back hotly, “i’m not here because you lured me down here with your smooth words and pretty face.”

“so you think i’m pretty now, do you?” the smug smirk that painted his face had you regretting your words instantly.

you gave him a once over and scoffed once more, rolling your eyes and looking away from him. “you’re a demon, it’s your literal purpose to be pretty and tempt people to follow you down to their infinite demise here.”

“oh, you mean just like you did? it’s okay, angel, it’s not always easy to admit defeat like this.” hyunjin’s sarcastically sympathetic tone mocked you as the smirk on his lips grew ever wider.

you started clambering up from the bed you were in, ready to ring the infuriating demon’s neck. “you little-”

“you’re stuck here now, unless i can find a way to get you sent back. you’d better pray to whomever you have up there that they’ll take you again. if not, i’ll make sure we have lots of fun down here together, angel.” he sent a cheeky wink your way before turning to leave the room, perfect hips swaying slightly as he walked.

“feel free to just make yourself at home, little angel, it’s going to be a long night,” he called over his shoulder as the door swung shut behind him.

taking a breath, you fell back on the bed behind you. you’d collect your thoughts and figure out what to do next. one thing was certain, you couldn’t and wouldn’t stay here any longer than completely necessary.

you were dumbfounded at the thought of the miserable demon actually trying to help you and knew not to trust any seeming kindness that came from him. he was incapable of true kindness and love, a care for others; everything he did came with an angle that was set only to benefit himself. you could only trust yourself in this situation, knowing full well that as soon as hyunjin tired of playing with you and your fate, he’d cast you aside like yesterday’s souls.

•••

you weren’t sure how long you’d been in hell.

it was called hell for a reason, a special place of torture for souls that didn’t get taken to heaven. it wasn’t as people on earth thought, there were no pits of fire and brimstone. instead, the souls were brought to places where their most atrocious sins were committed and made to live those sins unending, forcing them into insanity for all eternity. the demons each had their own roles in tormenting the humans’ souls, whether it be carrying out the torture or luring the souls down to their punishment.

in the time you’d been in hell, you learned more about the place than you’d ever wanted to. as an angel, you’d never made it a point to learn what’s exactly went on deep into enemy territory, but now you were stuck with no option but to learn.

it had been your choice to come here, yes, but you couldn’t help but wonder what would’ve happened if you had stayed in heaven. maybe hyunjin never would’ve come for his revenge, maybe you would’ve been damned either way. but you’d made your decision, you’d never know the answers to the what if’s that plagued you at night.

speaking of the pesky demon, he’d been surprisingly… civil over the time you’d been trapped in that spare room. he’d bring you food, even though you didn’t really need it. you figured it was just so he could come and gloat, enjoying the sight of seeing you stuck with him until further notice. he’d said he was working on a way to get you sent back to heaven, although you doubted any truthfulness in his words as you changed more by the hour to look increasingly like the creatures that inhabited these depths of the universe.

hyunjin had also mentioned that it wasn’t safe for you to leave until either he got you back into heaven or until your body finished changing and adapting to the new climate.

“i don’t particularly care, but i figure if it’s truly my fault you came down here, i should give you a chance before throwing you to the wolves,” he’d said, a gleam making its way into his eyes. “plus, i enjoy being the only one who gets to ruin you like that.”

you hated how you were unable to help the flush that covered your face at his words. “like i’d ever let you defile me like that again after what you’ve done,” you spat back at him.

at your words he just snickered to himself and shook his head. “we’ll see about that, angel.”

despite his taunting words, he continued being civil with you, unnerving you with how well-behaved he acted in your presence. it felt like he was trying to lull you into a false sense of security before ripping the ground out from under you. he’d come into your room and explain more things about the goings on in this hellish realm and watch in interest as the once pure white wings you could summon turned to dusty grey before fading completely to black.

you had figured out after some time that you weren’t going to be able to go home, back to heaven, and you supposed hell was now “home.” there was no way they’d take you again with how you’d changed during your time in hell. you decided that as stupid of a move as it might have been to leave that ultimately it was for the best, a choice you wouldn’t try and fight with yourself over anymore. what’s done was done.

“i don’t know if you’ve even tried getting me out of here, but i’d like you to stop,” you told hyunjin the next time he came into the room he’d loaned you. “given” was too nice of a word for a being like him, a being like yourself, now, too. “it was my decision to come here and i don’t want to be sent back.”

the demon’s eyebrows raised as he stared at you in surprise. “oh really, why the sudden change of heart? i’ve finally won you over into deciding that hell is the place for you?”

you rolled your eyes, gaze incredulous as you shook your head at him. “in your delusional dreams, demon. what, do you really want me that badly?”

to that, he shrugged, his face impassive. “i’ve never made any secret of it, have i?”

you just blinked at him, unsure what to make of his words. you knew you shouldn’t dwell on it, it was only another trick designed to make you stumble and believe demons could feel or be anything other that the heartless, cruel tricksters they were at their cores.

“this is just another one of your lies, isn’t it? you got me down here, you got what you want, can’t you stop torturing me?” you looked at him now, shaking your head again in disbelief.

the demon in front of you scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “why would it be a lie?”

“because all you do is lie!” you spat at him. “all demons do is lie and ruin things and destroy what’s good, just look at what you did to me!”

at that, you could see hyunjin visibly recoil, something akin to hurt making its way onto his face. it was just a flash before it faded, the demon’s face setting itself back to the impassive shield it had been before. he rolled his eyes at you, as if he was dealing with nothing more than a petulant child.

“that’s what you really what you believe then? fine by me.” hyunjin turned on his heel and strode toward the door. but not without first calling back over his shoulder, “but don’t blame your predicament down here on me. you were the one that jumped, remember?”

the door slammed behind him, shutting you in once again. you had about had enough of the stupid demon’s games. taking you in, being nice to you, not trying to get in your pants the whole time, and now telling you he had wanted you the whole time. you knew he had some angle, but you just couldn’t figure out what it was.

you had to believe that you were ultimately just a plaything for the crafty being, the connotations of his words as anything else were too much for you to think about. demons didn’t have hearts, they couldn’t feel, despite their previous existence as angels. you knew that and you had to keep remembering it, as the way he’d been treating you since your fall was almost enough to make you think otherwise.

you couldn’t, you wouldn’t open yourself up to the possibility of hyunjin’s antics being anything else other than a game designed to completely break you and make you just like him.

and yet, just yet, you couldn’t deny the tiny nagging inside of you that nearly wished his words were true. he was beautiful, you wouldn’t argue that, and you had to hand it to him that he had done a good job of making it seem like he really didn’t mind you around. that was what demons were best at, being sweet and inviting and lying through their teeth to get their prey to fall right into their traps.

you couldn’t fathom what more he’d want from you, why he was still playing with you after all this time, but you were determined to find out why, once and for all, the next time you saw him.

•••

it appeared to you some time later that if you wanted answers, you would have to be the one to get them yourself. you had apparently upset hyunjin as he hadn’t come into your room for the past couple days and you were starting to get bored waiting for him. so, you plucked up the remnants of your courage and shoved yourself off the bed you’d been sitting on, making your way to the door keeping you in.

you pushed the door open, pleasantly surprised at the fact that it wasn’t locked this whole time. you found yourself in a hallway, looking to your right found a dead end, but to your left seemed to be another room. you wandered down toward the short hallway to the other room, finding yourself in a more spacious living room. it wasn’t big, but it was a modest size for a demon of hyunjin’s repute.

there weren’t any windows, but instead paintings of the world above scattered the walls of the room. off to one side of the room sat a chair with what looked like an easel, paints in a perfectly organized line, and a half finished painting of a flower vase sitting atop the easel. you had thought him one to appreciate art, much less create it; but once more, the idea of the demon you’d built up in your head was shaken. it made him seem less like the dark creature he was and almost more like the being of light he had been before.

you looked to the other side of the room and saw a small couch, with a figure crumpled up under a blanket. it was hyunjin, no doubt, but… why was he out here? this was his place, surely if he wanted to sleep he could-… and suddenly, it dawned on you. he did have a room to sleep in, but he had given that up when he took you in.

now, you were thoroughly confused. had he really been telling you the truth in saying he wanted you down here, with him?

“if you want to stare at me that much, you could’ve just asked, angel,” the figure under the blanket said, his voice gravelly from sleep. hyunjin peeked his face out from where it had been smushed against his arm and the blanket.

“i- i thought demons didn’t need to sleep,” you said back, purposefully ignoring his earlier comment.

hyunjin blinked a couple times before rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “we don’t, but who am i to deny myself the comfort of a good nap sometimes?”

you couldn’t help the next words that you blurted out. “you gave up your room and bed for me. why?”

“i told you, you were my mission, angel.” his pretty face turned blank as he spoke and lifted himself up onto his elbows to look at you better. “not that you’d believe anything i say, you’ve made that very clear. but it’s the truth, you fascinate me and i wanted you here with me. i was given permission by my superiors to drag you down if you didn’t want to come after our mission was over. but ultimately, i wanted the choice to be yours, what use would it be to have you down here against your will and hating me for the rest of eternity?”

hyunjin slowly removed the blanket that covered him and stood up, beginning to pace the floor in front of the couch. his expression stayed perfectly blank, seeming intent on not giving away any of his true feelings behind the matter.

“true, you may still hate me for the rest of eternity,” he continued, clasping his hands behind his back, “but at least i know that for once my hands are clean in the matter of bringing you here. you came of your own volition and while i may have… helped persuade you, the decision was still yours in the end.”

you stood in your spot, quietly listening as he paced while unraveling his whole plan with you. “but… why not say anything? what do you actually want with me that you’d go through all that to maybe end up with me here?“

hyunjin stopped pacing for a moment and shot you a pointed stare, one eyebrow raised. “although i do have demons down here to consort with if i wish, i have always enjoyed a challenge. and you, angel, were the perfect challenge for me.”

the demon resumed his leisurely strides across the floor, shrugging his shoulders as he continued his explanation. “sometimes risks are worth taking, clearly you know that as well as i since you’re here. and i found you a worthy challenge and risk to take. the way i saw it, either i end up with someone to share with in my mischief or i don’t, and i have a few laughs and good fucks along the way. the choice is still yours, angel.”

the entire time you’d been listening to him, you were mulling over the choices presented to you. obviously, hell was your home now and you were never getting back into heaven; all the thoughts you’d been thinking of hyunjin and demons as a whole now applied to you.

on one hand, you could just leave him and hope to the powers that be that you wouldn’t run into him again in your long eternity down here. or, the decision that was starting to look better by the moment; you could stay, he’d made it apparent that he wanted you to, for whatever reason. being transformed into a demon now as you were meant you wouldn’t have to follow the angelic code you’d held to before, you were free to be and do what you want.

you could stay, you would stay here and you’d have fun with him right back. if he could torment you and make you doubt everything you’d known for years during your mission on earth, it was only fair that you do the same back to him, right?

“fine, you want me so bad? i’ll stay. but i’m on your level now, hyunjin, so don’t expect me to play nice.” you crossed your arms over your chest, staring him down from your spot halfway across the room.

the fiery gleam in his eyes that you’d grown to… appreciate was back the moment the words left your mouth. in less than half a second, he’d crossed the space between you, wrapping you up in his arms.

“how far you’ve fallen, my little angel,” his voice dropped an octave, his hold tightening around you, effectively trapping you against him. his face was right above yours, if either of you moved even an inch, your lips would be on his.

“i already told you, i didn’t fall, i jumped,” you whispered, ever defiant.

hyunjin’s gaze turned downright hungry as he gazed at you, lips curling over his teeth into a perfectly devilish smile. “that’s what i like to hear.”

he leaned down, closing the minute distance between you and pushed your lips together in a searing kiss.

you kissed him back fervently, your eyes falling shut as you pressed closer against his body. you brought your arms up to encircle the back of his neck, giving into the need for him you’ve been trying to bury since the very first time this tussle together happened. there was nothing stopping you from holding back now and as hyunjin had pointed out earlier, who were you to deny yourself what you wanted?

“fuck,” he breathed against your lips, “i missed this, angel.”

you chuckled, pulling back to attach your lips to his jaw, steadily working your way down his neck. “don’t tell me you didn’t have your pick of any other being you wanted.”

hyunjin let his head loll back, giving you more access to suck pretty little marks on his skin. “i never said i didn’t, but none of them were you.”

you huffed out a breath at his words, leaving a particularly harsh nip at his neck, reveling in the short hiss that left the demon’s mouth. “you’re stuck with me now, hope you made the right decision.”

“i know i did.” hyunjin threaded his fingers through the hair at the back of your head and brought your face up to his, slotting your lips together once again. he pulled away just enough for you to see the ever-present smirk on his face. “and now i’m gonna show you just how perfect of a decision it was.”

he easily scooped you up in his strong arms, you immediately wrapping arms and legs around him in response. you set back to work on creating a myriad of hickeys on his neck as he takes you back to his room, the colors blooming beautifully with each kiss and bite you leave on his perfect skin.

as soon as you’re back in hyunjin’s room, he tossed you down on the bed and stood over you for a moment, looking ready to ravish you completely. unsure how long it had been since both of you last fucked, you were ready to do whatever he wanted as long as it ended with him inside you, pounding you into the mattress.

your legs fell open, inviting him to do as he pleased. a smile made its way to the demon’s face as he took in your splayed out form before him.

“my perfect little angel,” he breathed out, leaning over you and caging you in with his arms, “i’m going to absolutely ruin you.”

you just wrapped your arms around his neck, tugging him down to kiss you again. hyunjin kissed you back like it was the last time he’d be able to, pressing his lithe body against yours. you felt his teeth nipping at your bottom lip and you couldn’t help the soft squeak you let out into the kiss. he took the opportunity to slide his tongue between your lips, claiming your mouth with his own.

you moaned into his mouth, pushing your body into his as your hands ran across his shoulders and down his arms. in return, the demon above you ground his hips on yours, pulling away from your lips moments later in favor of mouthing down your neck. he sucked and nibbled his way across your neck and to your collarbone, skin blooming with new marks of your own.

“no one else gets to mark up my pretty angel like this but me, right?” his words were hot on your skin and you could feel his smirk when you nodded quickly.

“only- only you,” your voice came out a stilted whimper as hyunjin nipped at a sensitive spot on your neck. “you’re stuck with me now, ‘m gonna stay around and annoy you all the time.”

hyunjin chuckled lowly, running his tongue over the latest mark he’d made. “that’s right, gonna make you just as wicked as i am, pretty one.”

you shivered slightly, feeling the demon’s fingers dance over your body, moving toward the hem of the shirt you wore. you arched your back as hyunjin made quick work of pulling your shirt over your head, discarding it and your undergarments beside you on the bed.

hyunjin looked down at you, his gaze nearly reverent as he took in the sight of your form in front of him. he slid his hands up your sides to knead at the flesh of your chest, eyes transfixed on how your tits moved, nipples pebbling up under his fingertips.

after a moment, he leaned down, capturing one nipping his mouth and swirling his tongue around the bud. your head rolled back at the feeling, letting out a loud moan at the sensation. your hands found their way to his hair and you tugged on the strands, making hyunjin groan into your skin.

“more, hyunjin, please,” you pleaded, lightly pulling on his hair again.

hyunjin looked at you, pulling his mouth off your tit with an obscene pop. “oh, you want more, do you? i’ll give you more, don’t worry, just wanna get a taste of you first, angel.”

he made short work of removing his own shirt before your skirt and underwear, adding them to the steadily growing pile of clothes next to you. the demon kissed down your body, leaving tiny bite marks as he went, moving closer to where you needed him most. he spread your legs open, holding them still as he mouthed along the sensitive skin of your inner thighs.

you keened as he finally attached his lips to your core, tongue eagerly flicking over your clit. your hands immediately drifted back to his hair, fingers tangling in the soft strands as you tried to pull him closer to you.

“be patient, angel,” came the soft murmur against you, “i’ll give you what you want soon enough.”

you whined softly but it quickly turned into a high pitched moan as you suddenly felt two fingers push into you along with his tongue that stayed playing with your clit. he smirked at your reaction, sucking lightly at the bud to see what that would get him. another loud moan tore itself from your lips and you tried to close your legs on his head, one of hyunjin’s strong hands preventing you from doing so.

“remember, be patient for me, my angel. good things come to those who wait,” you felt his words more than heard them, his mouth barely leaving you as he spoke. you simply nodded, unable to help yourself from pulling lightly at his hair again.

hyunjin kept lapping at you, his fingers languidly making their way in and out of you, curling this way and that, already bringing you close to your release. he’d let out soft groans every time you tugged on his hair, the vibrations from his voice adding to the pleasure you felt. you neared closer to your climax, your walls starting to pulse as hyunjin worked you with his fingers and tongue.

just when you were about to reach your high, everything was suddenly gone, leaving you wanting. you couldn’t help the pitiful whine that left your lips as you glared at the smirking demon.

“you truly are evil, you know that?” your eyes narrowed at him, displeasure evident on your face.

hyunjin just chuckled and shrugged nonchalantly. “so you’ve said a time or two hundred. and yet, you’re still here, so you obviously enjoy how evil i am.”

you glared at him harder, trying to swat at where he stood between your legs with your foot, narrowly missing his hip when he jumped out of the way. he shook his head at you, tutting softly.

“my naughty angel,” he said with a raised eyebrow. “and here i thought you wanted to be good.”

you rolled your eyes petulantly before fixing him with a challenging stare. “what can i say? i guess you’ve just rubbed off on me.”

at that, the demon let a devilish little smile creep onto his face once more. “and how glad i am for that. now be good for me and maybe i’ll let you cum tonight.”

hyunjin shrugged his pants and underwear off, cock slapping up against his lower stomach, just as pretty and proud as the demon it belonged to. you’d be lying if you said it had no effect on you, your mouth watered and you vowed to yourself to absolutely devour it the next time the opportunity presented itself.

“like something you see?” you heard the smug tone dripping from the demon’s words. you could see the fire igniting in his eyes as he stepped between your legs again, unhurriedly tugging at his length. he lifted one knee on top of the bed, angling his hips toward yours and ensuring that with every tug the head of his cock would tap against your dripping entrance.

“please- please just fuck me already, hyunjin,” your plea came out as mostly a frustrated whimper.

that only stroked his ego more but even so, he crawled on top of you once again. “since you asked so nicely, who am i to deny my favorite angel?“

hyunjin rubbed his cock between your folds for another moment before lining up with you and pushing in slowly. your head rolled back when he finally bottomed out, mouth falling open as you moaned out loud.

“you feel so good, always so tight for me, angel,” he said, his voice mostly a moan at the feeling of your warmth around him. the demon above you held onto your hips, keeping you still as he started thrusting in and out of you at a leisurely pace.

your hands grasped at him, finding purchase on his shoulders as your nails dug into his skin. hyunjin tugged you closer, starting to pick up his pace and pulling your hips to meet his powerful thrusts. he let out a low groan at the slight sting of your fingernails scraping against his shoulders, leaving trails down his toned arms.

hyunjin let go of your hips a moment later to lean over you again, propping himself up on his forearms. burying his face in your neck, he left more tiny pecks and nips on the junction between your neck and shoulder, causing you to moan louder than you had before.

your senses were overwhelmed at the feeling of hyunjin everywhere, all over you, the steady drag of his cock against your walls. as he picked up the pace of his hips, you were slowly reduced to nothing but high pitched moans and whimpers, your body pliant under his hold.

“h-hyunjin, please…” you moaned out, holding onto his shoulders tighter and bucking your hips up slightly to meet his.

“please, what, angel?” he asked, his voice taunting. he continued fucking into you, each thrust deep and more intense than the last. he smiled a little at your fucked out form, how you struggled to form the words to answer him back as your high drew closer.

“want- i need to cum, pl-please!” you cried, your back arching up as hyunjin kept pushing you toward your orgasm.

“come on then, cum for me, my pretty angel,” hyunjin whispered into your ear, his hips rocking against yours. his hand snaked down to rub circles on your clit, giving you the last nudge over the edge over the edge of the cliff that had you plunging into your climax.

with a high whine, your release washed over you and you bucked your hips into hyunjin’s, walls spasming around his cock. your release spurred his, cock pulsing inside you as he filled you up to the brim.

he let out a loud groan, rocking his hips into yours as he rode out both your highs. he stilled after a second, slowly pulling out of you and wincing a little at the slight overstimulation.

hyunjin lightly ran a hand down one of your thighs before turning to around to the dresser across the room and taking out a small towel. the demon brushed his dark hair away from his face and made his way back to you, gently cleaning you up and taking care to wipe down your sensitive thighs.

leaning down, he kissed you once again, pushing your lips together in a short kiss. he pulled away a second later, slumping against you lightly as he tucks his head in your neck.

“i missed this. i- i missed you,” he said, his voice soft. hyunjin wrapped his arms around you, gently pulling you closer to him. you curled into his hold in return, no longer trying to ignore the warm feeling that bubbled up in your chest at his words.

“not that i ever planned on admitting it, but i might’ve missed you too, just a little,” you answered him, placing a soft kiss to his cheek.

“i’m glad you decided to stay, my little angel.” he tightened his arms around you, one hand lightly rubbing up and down your back.

“what can i say? your unending snark and wonderful attitude every morning won me over.” you let yourself giggle softly as the demon shook his head.

“and now you get to deal with me… forever,” hyunjin murmured in your ear, his tone menacing but lighthearted.

“i chose my fate, i’m okay staying here and taking over the realms with you; this is what i want,” you said back, a fond smile taking over your face and matching the one spreading across hyunjin’s lips. “you’re what i want.”

“and you’re just what i want, my angel.”

#stray kids #skz smut #stray kids smut #hwang hyujin imagines #hwang hyunjin #hwang hyunjin smut #hyunjin smut #smut #part two #i tried #angel x demon #pls enjoy #end my suffering

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cordeliawhohung · 18 days

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Soft Spot Dissection (Blood Soaked Cotton)

soft spot master list | links to answered asks | major spoilers for the series if you haven't read it, this is me picking apart my writing as a personal project <3

Welcome! First, I’d like to mention that I have no idea what I’m doing with this dissection. I’m attempting to put it in an essay-like format for ease of reading, but trying not to make it too essay-like so that it’s boring, ya know? A lot of this is going to be me just… copying and pasting paragraphs and then talking about it. So, just pretend that this is some really thought out opening paragraph and that I’ve got a killer thesis sentence and that this isn’t just some half-cracked author venting about her work. Capiche? Thanks.

Anyway, we come to the first installment of Soft Spot: Blood Soaked Cotton. I’ve mentioned this a few times before, but this whole series actually started out as a one shot. Hence the rather… odd name. Believe it or not, but I actually really dislike the title Soft Spot. It’s just… not me. Not how I like naming things. It was a title I panic chose when I realized I wanted to write more. If I had the opportunity to change it, I’d honestly go with Everything You Touch. Fits the vibe more, in my opinion. But that’s beside the point.

Anyway, it’s so jarring to read this story. I haven’t really actually sat down and read any of the parts after I posted them, and it’s crazy to start out with Simon and Spook not knowing one another. Just… strangers. Had I known this was going to be a longer series, I wouldn’t have started it out the way I did. With the little internal monologue with Simon. It works, in a way, and I don’t know what I would’ve changed it to, but it wouldn’t have been this.

“It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. Really, it wasn’t supposed to happen at all. But things never exactly work out how we think they will, and Simon Riley wasn’t a stranger to surprises.”

Just sounds… so flat, compared to how I started every other part lmao.

Have a good one. It was always the same farewell you gave him. Of course the factitious answer that came to mind was ‘have a good one what?’ but he knew better than to be a smart ass. But really, the question truly was a valid one in his mind. Have a good what? Day? Afternoon? Life? He was too far gone for that.

I based Simon’s facetious answer off of something my old co-worker’s husband used to say. I hated him. He was a prick. But it’s the type of bluntness I thought Simon would hold lmao. But then Simon’s thought, of him being too far gone for a good life, was sorta done intentionally when I wrote it. Because he’s supposed to see that he can have a good life when he meets Spook (:

It tore the delicate skin of your bottom lip vertically, nearing the corner of your mouth. Dark, crunchy scabs clogged the wound up, and he could tell by the way your tongue kept prodding at it that it smarted something fierce. But it didn’t stop there. A slight bruise on the back part of your cheekbone, an even deeper bruise peeking out from underneath your blouse on your collarbone, a broken nail that chipped off uncomfortably close to your nail bed.

Re: Referencing Spook’s injuries. I wish I had referred back to this, her wounds, in Everything You Touch. I think the parallels would’ve been heartbreaking. Hindsight is 20/20 or whatever. Especially because in this first installment, Simon is haunted by Spook. Constantly sees her injuries, and it chases after him worse than anything he’s seen in the field sorta thing. Oh well.

It used to be white, but had been stained by various things over the years he had it, and it even sported some fraying on the edges. It was clean, at least. Because of this, he was extremely surprised to hear your response to him. “I’ll ruin it.”

Re: Simon giving Spook his handkerchief when her lip started to bleed. Her comment here, I’ll ruin it. Although unintentional, it gives the impression that she’s always, in some sort of way, been afraid of filth. She’s always feared the rot inside of her and of transferring it to someone else, like she’s sick with some disease. Sort of makes her obsession with being clean later in the series a bit more understandable. These were just the very first few hints of it.

“Figured you’d need another one after I ruined the one you gave me,” you said, wiggling it in your hands for him to take. “You also strike me as a dog person, so this seemed fitting.”

Re: Spook giving Simon a new handkerchief a few weeks/days/whatever later. This is so funny to me. You also strike me as a dog person. Be so for real right now. As if you didn’t bring home a gooey pile of cat a few years later. As if that weird freak doesn’t grow into being Simon’s best bud. I love them.

October brought in a sharp chill to the air that had you wearing a nice knitted sweater to help stave off the draft in the building. Its dark background with popping jack-o-lantern theme matched perfectly with your area of the bank. Despite it only being halfway through the month you had already prepared for Halloween with a bowl of candy sitting on the counter and themed jelly stickers on the window behind you.

Though it was never explicitly said, Halloween is Spook’s favorite holiday (: Which is unfortunate. Keep this in mind.

“Must be neat,” you said in awe. “Despite all the military stuff, anyway. I bet you get to travel the world and see so many neat things. I’d kill for an opportunity like that… no pun intended.”

I wrote this pun on accident and then reread the sentence and was like wow. A bit on the nose but I’m keeping this.

“Thanks for coming with me tonight,” you said softly, head returning to lean against your hand as you looked up at him. Even sitting next to him he was still so much bigger than you. “Honestly, I thought you were going to say no. Doesn’t really seem like your type of place so… just know I appreciate it.” What gave that impression? His tense shoulders? Or his eyes flickering around the room at least twenty times every minute like he was constantly on edge? “Don’t mention it,” he said, his voice low and rumbly. You smiled something soft, something fleeting as your eyes dropped down to look at his hands clasped around the cup of water. He hadn’t taken a single sip of it the entire time the two of you sat there. Not that you had expected him to, anyway. Certainly not with that mask of his. Maybe some time in the future you’d ask him about it, but that moment wasn’t the right time.

Rereading this, I think Spook has a love for broken things just as much as Simon does. Which is why she’s so drawn to him, despite his appearances. Which is why he lets her get close even though he knows it’s not a good idea. They’re both sad, broken people. And in a way, they’ve been sort of disconnected from “normal” people. It’s hard for Spook to find a partner who understands her situation. It’s hard for Simon to find a partner who can handle his aloofness. So when they find each other? It’s only natural that they’re so impossibly drawn to one another.

You slipped away before he could protest that idea, and he grumbled as he pushed his cup of water towards the end of the bar. Shitty music filled his ears as he sat there waiting for you, and without your voice to drown out the commotion around him, it consumed him. Sharp crack of the billiard balls crashing together, the scent of greasy pub pizza, the ringing of a bell as the door opened, the chilling October breeze bleeding into the building, the stale scent of cigarettes.

Though it’s only hinted at minorly, Eric, Spook’s ex, was a smoker. Hence the smell of cigarettes that’s mentioned here as the door opens. This is where Eric enters and starts to make a fuss. Etc etc etc.

Then came the sound of flesh crashing against flesh as the palm of your hand slapped the man across the face. It was enough to grab the attention of everyone in the surrounding area, including the bartender who looked like he was one bad comment away from dialing 999. “Get your fucking hands off of me,” you seethed. Unfortunately for you, the slap hardly seemed to phase him, and his grip only tightened. The man’s jaw set taut as his other hand came up and grabbed your waist with bruising force, drawing you closer to him as he bared his teeth in a snarling grin.

Okay. OKAY. Everyone listen up!!! The entire story? Yeah? And Spook’s trauma? There’s this whole motif that I — quite frankly — abused the fuck out of. It’s violence. This whole, trying to break the cycle, of knowing violence, of experiencing violence, things of that sort. And then what do we get? Spook being violent. Spook is the first character throughout the entire series to ever show violence. To hit someone. To demand something of them. Sure, Eric fucking deserves it, and she was obviously beaten before, but that doesn’t change the fact she is the first character to be explicitly violent. (:

This was done by accident. Something that I came across while re-reading and it just hits so hard. Almost like it’s hinting at something terrible. That no matter how hard she tries to distance herself from her abusive past, it’s too ingrained in her DNA for her to escape it.

It was disgusting. The very sight of that man with his hands on you like he had won a prize. Greedy fingers digging into your flesh like he planned to take, and take, and take. Simon had seen it all before. Seen it in his own flesh as unwanted hands clawed at him. Felt it on his face in the form of a vile, wet tongue swiping around his mouth. It was in the screams he couldn’t hold back as the hook tore through his flesh. It was in the blood that spilled down his body as he hung there while they laughed. It was in the maggots that he sat in as he was buried alive. It was- It was the pain he felt in his hand as his knuckles collided with the man’s jaw, snapping his head to an uncomfortable angle. In an instant his body went rigid and then limp. Those revolting hands fell away from you as his body collided with the floor beneath him, and the only sound he was able to make was a fit of air leaving his lungs upon impact.

Here we have Simon essentially blacking out. Of seeing Spook’s trauma and realizing that they aren’t so different. I think that’s what ultimately attracted him to her in the first place. The fact that she wasn’t just broken, but she was like him. Even if he didn’t fully know it yet. Their pasts had been intertwined in some disgusting, twisted way this entire time, and I think this is the moment he starts to realize it.

Never before had he been so glad to harm someone. Any other time it was a necessity. Saving himself. Saving a comrade. Nothing that he ever took pleasure or joy in. It was just work. But that? Hurting that man the way he did? He took joy in that.

Another accidental thing I did here, but I totally forgot about this paragraph. Of Simon enjoying what he did to Eric (kicking his ass). Makes the conversation Spook and Bukin have later in the series all the more terrifying. Specifically:

“I think he likes the blood and the gore of violence. There is something comforting about spilling blood knowing that it lessens the chance of your own being poured. He finds safety in death. And while I can appreciate the sentiment, I never really had the stomach for blood. No, I prefer to watch things squirm.”

Once again, this started off as a one shot, and I never reread this fucking part while writing so this is all by accident but it makes my stomach churn in a way I can’t describe lmao.

“See you next week, Simon.” That was the moment that he decided he liked the way his name sounded when you said it. You never barked it like an order, or screamed it in anger. He had hated his name for a long while, hated being called anything other than his callsign for work. But when it came from your lips, well, maybe it wasn’t all that terrible. “Yeah,” he said, shoving his hands into his pockets. The band-aids pulled awkwardly at his skin as he paused on the porch of your apartment. “See you next week.”

There’s something to be said about this farewell. It’s why I referenced it again in the epilogue in the synopsis. I think it’s the first goodbye that they say to one another that they don’t really want to say. Because they — whether they realize it or not — are already so terribly attached to one another. And honestly, I wish I had ended the part here rather than going further into detail. I felt like I was over explaining it. Everything is already right here.

Anyway; that’s about everything I have for this part. I know it’s not a whole lot, but like I mentioned before, this was supposed to be a one shot, so this part doesn’t have a whole lot of… meaning behind it. Besides the few accidents that I found, anyway lmao. As always, feel free to send any questions about the work my way! Things I didn’t cover in this part that you’re still curious about, things of that sort!

#core talks #soft spot #soft spot dissection

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evansbby · 10 months

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POYT 5 - My thoughts & commentary

MAJOR SPOILERS below the cut! Only proceed if you've read POYT 5.

Also, I will be answering all feedback this weekend! I wanted to give it a week so that more people would read it and because the feedback will contain spoilers.

Anyways, here are my thoughts (warning, this is long lmao)

Hey everyone

First off, I just want to say how thankful I am for the support for this fic. I never thought I’d finish it and to see it finished more than a year after the first chapter was posted and to see how many of you stuck around and didn’t give up on it is truly heartwarming! Thank you for letting me tell my story, thank you for supporting me, thank you for egging me on to finish it, thank you for sharing your thoughts and words of encouragement, thank you, thank you, thank you! I know sometimes I may come across as unthankful. And I’ll be so honest with you guys, a few days following the posting of POYT 5, I was so, so emotional and on edge and kind of upset because I thought the fic was not getting as much feedback as I thought it would. Which is crazy to think since we got it to 1000 notes in 24 hours!!

But I understand that people take time to read something so long, and it’s so much content that people need time to gather their thoughts. I get that. I’m just a very emotional person, which is why it may have seemed like I got upset. I poured my heart and soul into this fic for the past six months, so I will be emotional about it. That being said, I really want to stress on the fact that I AM super thankful towards the people who supported me and sent in amazing feedback, or reblogged and wrote their feedback down! I’ve read every single feedback so far maybe about three times!! I can’t wait to answer it so we can fully have an in-depth discussion about the story!

ALSO. And this is so important. POYT IS A DARK FIC. Steve, no matter what redemption I gave him, is a whole ass red flag in real life. He’s still a dark character, he is still someone that would totally be a villain in real life. POYT is a work of complete fiction, so please don’t think that because she ended up living happily ever after with Steve, that I condone that in real life. I think we are all old enough to understand that this is just me exploring a dark relationship in FICTION. In real life, this would be considered toxic and abusive. PLEASE remember that. Do not be with a poyt!Steve in real life. Please.

Now, to the fic itself. I’ll explain more when I answer the asks but let me just share my main thought-process behind it. I know a lot of people expected Peter to take Omega away and for Omega and Steve to be apart for a chunk of the story. I NEVER wanted to do anything like that. I believe I’ve mentioned it a few times but I don’t really love it when this happens in stories I read, and I always skip to the part where the reader and her man are back together. So I knew I didn’t want to do this.

There WAS an early iteration of the story where Peter takes Omega back to his apartment and she spends the night in his guest-room (she doesn’t want to sleep in the same room as him, she doesn’t hate him or anything but it feels wrong to her). Peter would have made her block Steve’s number and told her to just sleep on it. But she would’ve cried all night and missed Steve so much that she would’ve unblocked him. Of course, her phone would be flooded with calls and texts from Steve, ranging from angry to sad to demanding to know where she is to blaming Peter to blaming Omega. Really erratic texts like “I told you I loved you and you left me,” to “fuck you, I will never forgive you,” to “sorry I didn’t mean that please come back, baby, I miss you.” And she would have called him back but hung up quickly before he could alpha-command her into telling him where she is (she wouldn’t want to endanger Peter). And then Omega herself would’ve left and gone back to Steve.

I didn’t do this because, honestly, Peter would never “kidnap” Omega. I know a lot of people used the word kidnap but honestly that’s not what was going on. Peter thought he was saving her, but she had already decided in Part 4 that it was Steve she couldn’t live without. In Part 4, she says she could live without her mom and without Peter, but not without Steve. She’s already said yes to his proposal, there was no doubt she was going to stay with Steve. Maybe a little bit because Steve had only promised to be better at that point, and he had not proven it. But we all know Omega always saw the best in Steve, always wanted him to be better, always wanted him deep down. It wouldn’t make sense for her to stay quiet and let Peter take her all the way back to his apartment. I know she’s always been confused and indecisive, but I wanted her to be firm in that moment. Because she has chosen to be with Steve. At that moment, she doesn’t know why and she’s still confused about her feelings for Steve, but she knows she can’t live without him. So she chooses to stay with him within the first few sentences of the fic.

I remember a few months ago I received an ask saying that they expected Omega and Steve to stay apart for about 10k words of POYT 5, and I read that thinking “OMG is this what people are expecting???” because PERSONALLY, I would skip the fuck out of those 10k words if reader wasn’t with her love interest for 10k whole words. That’s just me personally, everyone has a different opinion but yeah. I tried to stay as true to MYSELF in this fic as possible, and ultimately, this is how I wanted it to play out.

I wanted POYT 5 to be about Steve and Omega and their interactions with each other. Because if you look back at the four parts before this… why exactly are we rooting for this couple? Have they had any sweet or romantic moments? They have, but very few and far between. Have they even had normal conversations? I needed their relationship to grow and evolve so that it would GENUINELY be a happy ending. I wanted the over-arching theme to be their interactions evolving, and Steve saying he loves her and her being unable to say it back. Which is why, if you noticed, almost every time Steve would say he loved her, he’d wait expectantly for her to say it back, and withdraw when she didn’t.

I’d say my biggest struggle was writing Steve (as it always is). I wanted his character development to be believable. But I think people need to remember that he had already turned a new leaf in POYT 4. And so POYT 5 was more about him demonstrating how he’d change, and keeping true to the promises he made to her in the previous part. I really hope you recognised that I tried to do it gradually, and that he’s trying to be better but still struggling with it.

For example: when he steps away from fighting Peter, you can tell he’s fighting with himself and this manifests through his literal physical features. How his face contorts before bouncing back then contorting again. I focused a LOT on describing Steve’s physical features in that part (so much so that I had to cut out whole paragraphs that just focused on describing his expression changing).

And then his panic attack. I got a message saying that was very out of character for Steve (I’ll respond to that message, don’t you worry, anon). But I really do not think it was OOC. Look, in fics this long, characters need to evolve. And Steve has been cold, calculated, strong, put-together for the whole of POYT so it honestly makes sense that he would lose it. To me, it does. He already lost it a few times in POYT 4, so it would make sense that he’d lose it some more. I know a lot of people enjoy reading him as this all-powerful alpha male and I was like that too, but I had to write this because it felt right to me. Steve is very emotionally volatile, and I think it was fitting that he had a panic attack. It shows another side of him, and I was proud of that scene. I’ll elaborate on this more when I answer that anon. But let me just say this: usually, when Steve got angry in the past – he’d resort to physical violence or some form of twisted, calculated revenge. He cannot do that to Peter, because he knows now that omega won’t forgive him if he did. So, in that moment, he kind of just… breaks. He doesn’t know how to process his emotions properly, so he panics. He’s seen his omega kiss someone else, and then he’s had to listen to that same person call him out in front of everyone and basically told him no one would ever love him. We KNOW Steve is insecure deep down, and so it’s honestly not very surprising that he had a panic attack. Villainous, macho characters can have panic attacks too, anon. They aren’t just reserved for the good characters.

Anyways, this is getting too long but moving on. I really hoped I captured Steve’s growth in a gradual, somewhat realistic way. Like how he blurts out that her mother won’t care about her getting married before he cuts himself off (him being tactful when before, he’d manipulated her and said this VERY thing). In the road trip scene, his communication still isn’t the best but at least he is TRYING, with that “game” that he plays just so he can ask her questions about her feelings. Like, he couldn’t straight up ask her and he had to make it into a game but like… it’s poyt!Steve after all so what do you expect haha. And when they’re at her childhood home, he’s still that guy who goes through all her stuff and pokes fun at her… but the difference is that it’s now turned into gentle teasing and not mean teasing, like how it was in the first few chapters.

Speaking of them going back to omega’s childhood home, I hope you guys caught on that omega realises her mom has left the moment she opens her mom’s bedroom door and sees the bed stripped and dresser empty. That’s why she gasps. But she doesn’t want to accept it, which is why she refuses to believe it. I’m sure everyone caught on to that but I’m just explaining anyways because why not. I’ll also say that writing this part made me cry so hard, I don’t know why. I have a very good relationship with my mother, she’s my whole entire life and she’s the best woman I know. So, to write a character who just does not have that… I don’t know why but it really affected me. And every time I reread this part to edit it, I cried. Every time. Especially the part where she talks about the ghost of her younger self playing in the garden. Like I’m tearing up now… Oh God!!! Also, when she breaks down and starts screaming at her mom’s door, I remember I wrote a part where she takes off her shoe and throws it at the door. I cut it out but I wish I’d kept it in in hindsight, just to show how raw and hurt she felt.

Anyways, as a lot of you messaged me saying this, you’re right, this was the moment where something snaps in Steve and he changes. It’s like he realises everything she’s been through and is still going through, and all the hurt and grief HE caused her. It’s never explicitly mentioned, but since the bathtub scene, Steve is afraid she’s going to kill herself. Like, that’s just a very real thing in his head, he’s just afraid she’s going to do that and he’d have been the main driving factor behind it. And so he realises he HAS to change. It’s in the way he doesn’t get mad at her when she tells him to fuck off, when she makes that dig at him and says he doesn’t have hardworking parents who work long hours. I wanted to convey that in that moment, her mental well-being just becomes his number one priority and he realises he could lose her. Maybe not physically, but he could still lose her. Which is why he gets so desperate in the end, and pleads with her to stay with him.

WHICH IS WHY, from then on, we see Steve being very communicative all of a sudden. And it’s ironic, because he’s not communicative about his own shit but he wants omega to voice all her concerns. That is why we get so much of “baby, tell me how you’re feeling.” Simply put, he’s afraid she’ll kill herself, and he also wants to be more communicative in order to improve their relationship and be better for her. Which is why he kind of throws himself into this new persona of this ultra communicative, ultra vocal about his love type of boyfriend. Like, he really lays it on thick, but he means it… and it also comes from a place of desperation, like he NEEDS her to get better. He knows deep down he’s about to lose his mother, but he cannot lose omega too. So if some of you thought it was OOC for him being SO SO SO vocal about his declarations of love and all his sweet little speeches, well, this is why I did it.

Speaking of Mrs. Rogers, she was a big talking point amongst all of you in the feedback I got! Like, overwhelmingly so! All I’ll say is, the whole cancer thing is something I pictured for her for a long time. But there WAS an early iteration of Steve’s parents where we would’ve met them in POYT 4 during Steve’s graduation and they would’ve been snooty and not approved of Omega. But somewhere along the way, that all changed. But I do want to stress that I did not mean to give the impression that Steve’s mom having cancer is the reason why he’s a bully. He was a bully alpha way before his mother got sick. Maybe it contributed a little bit but it does not excuse his behaviour at all and I never meant for it to! Honestly, it was more about exploring just how delusional and scared Steve really is, deep down. Like, his inability to accept that his mother is dying is very similar to omega refusing at first to accept that her mom left her. It’s more about how both the main characters push their problems aside and are often unable to accept them head on. It also added another facet to Steve’s character, and made things that little bit more heartbreaking, which was my intention.

Oh my fucking God, this is already 2.4k words??? Anyways, I really want to talk about the Rogers’ family mansion. So, since I was a child, I was obsessed with this author called VC Andrews who wrote Flowers in the Attic. When I say obsessed, I mean that I read each of her books like six or seven times and I still reread them till this day. To the point where my writing is influenced by her. Anyways, her stories were often rags-to-riches, and the heroine always describes a mansion. I was entranced reading about Foxworth Hall from FitA and Farthingale Manor from Heaven (if you guys haven’t read these books, please do. They are so, so good. I write the way I write because I read these books). So when I wrote the scene of Steve’s mansion, I wanted it to have that gothic horror family saga type feel, and so there were a lot of descriptions of just how big his house was, how his family literally had a ballroom and used to host galas, I really just wanted to paint a full picture of that. And then amongst all those riches, is Steve’s mom, a woman who is sick, whose husband is always away, whose son is too scared to come see her anymore. The sadness and secrets in all the wealth, that’s what I wanted to capture. If you guys have read Flowers in the Attic, you’d maybe understand what I mean. I deviated a bit from the usual style of POYT for these few scenes in Steve’s mansion, but I enjoyed writing them immensely.

More on Steve’s character: at this point I wanted to show that he was changing but that he wasn’t perfect and change doesn’t happen overnight. Which is why he lashes out at her for not saying she loves him back (right after sex, mind you, when she’s feeling extra vulnerable). It was a mean thing to do, but again, nobody is perfect and least of all him. Also, idk if anyone caught this bc no one has commented on it as of yet, but she almost slipped in the shower because she was trying to chase after him :// POYT 5 could’ve been a lot sadder just then… but I decided not to go there. Anyways, I wanted to show that Steve was still impulsive, quick to get angry. But the key difference is HE CAME BACK. And comforted her. I just wanted to show his gradual growth there.

I feel like I’m doing too much now so let me speed through the rest. I really tried to sprinkle in a lot of moments where Steve was being his cocky self, because he still is that and always will be. He’s still got his rules, and he’s being lax about them but at the end of the day he’s still an alpha. What I’m trying to say is, in the future, he’s not going to be the manipulative, childish, toxic fuckboy that he was before. But he WILL ultimately still be the misogynistic alpha that he always was, albeit a lot less intense and mean than before.

The scene with Bucky was always, always going to happen. All that Bucky stuff was leading up to something, and I always planned to do this. But when I actually got to writing it and realised how lame this man sounded when he was listing his problems “Steve always got the better car” etc, I knew I had to have omega comment on how dumb his problems were compared to hers. Because they are!!! It was ridiculous at the end of the day. I know a lot of people expected a fight with Peter and Steve, but that was never going to happen in full. It was always Steve vs Bucky to me. They have more history, they’re both more evenly matched in physical strength. Also, I want to clarify that at this point, Bucky did not have any feelings for omega, she was just an object to him that he could not have, and it was the last straw for him. I left Bucky’s fate as open-ended, maybe one day I’ll go back to that.

The final scene was ALWAYS meant to be omega marking Steve and finally telling him she loves him too. Like, I had this pictured since day one. This was always, always going to be the ending.

In terms of her and Peter, I really struggled with what type of ending I could give them. Because realistically, if I was Peter, I’d still be angry. I’d still be in disbelief over my best friend being with a man who is just… Not Good. And I do think Peter deep down still feels that way, but he also knows he cannot persuade omega, and so he has to move on. He sent her a wedding card but, in my head, they do not keep in touch. Steve doesn’t want her to keep in touch with him, and honestly, there isn’t much for Peter and omega to say to each other anymore. Which I think is realistic. It’s sad but it’s realistic.

One of the hardest parts for me was making sure to tie up every single loose end. Like for example, Sharon. In an earlier iteration, I had originally planned for Steve to somehow sabotage Sharon and keep her from graduating as revenge for her being mean to omega. In the end, I decided against this. Sharon is not important to Steve, she is not that important to the story either, and honestly, she wouldn’t have deserved that at all. So, I left her alone. I hope she’s doing well.

Same with other tiny loose ends, like who fixed Steve Junior? Originally, I genuinely DID mean that Steve simply paid someone else to fix her. But A LOT of you sent me messages asking if it was Steve himself who fixed him… and it just made so much sense! Because the stitching is done lowkey badly and unevenly, so of course it was Steve! I added that part in right at the end! Also the sketchbook part, where Steve sketches his mom. That was added like, on the day of me posting the fic. I was so paranoid I missed something, but I don’t think I did??

Mr. Rogers wasn’t meant to be in the fic at all. I wanted to keep him mysterious. But in the end, I decided to add him in last second. And I liked that he and his wife are so in love, but I feel like he’s still a mysterious character – especially in his relationship towards his son.

Lastly, Steve was ALWAYS gonna be a girl dad. That was never a question. Like… come on. We all saw that one coming!!!

Now all I can say is that Steve (the one on my blog who answers questions) is going to be SO smug that he got his omega back (after like two minutes of him losing her lmao). LIKE?? He proved all of you wrong hahahaha. The whole time y'all were talking about him sitting at home, heartbroken bc his omega got taken... HE HAD HER THE WHOLE TIME. just a funny thought lol.

ANYWAYS, if you have any questions about the fic, any more deleted scenes you wanna know about, any other things you want to say in response to this? please send them in!!!

#poyt #sorry this is so rambly omfg #my thoughts 💭

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taeskooksbin · 6 months

Text

I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE ; kth

→ 𝖲𝖴𝖬𝖬𝖠𝖱𝖸 . kim taehyung, your love interest has been cheating on you for so long and despite knowing it all, you're still somewhat not able to leave him, why?

→ 𝖯𝖠𝖨𝖱𝖨𝖭𝖦 . cheater!kim taehyung (male lead) × love interest!reader (female lead)

→ 𝖦𝖤𝖭𝖱𝖤 . cheating au.

→ 𝖶𝖠𝖱𝖭𝖨𝖭𝖦𝖲 . lowercase intended, heavy angst with shitty writing, the reader is kind of dumb, some filmy scenes that may give you the ick.

→ 𝖠𝖴𝖳𝖧𝖮𝖱'𝖲 𝖭𝖮𝖳𝖤 . to people who are reading this, can someone please give me a tut on how I add my masterlist to my account? lmao I'm so bad at this 😭

→ 𝖱𝖠𝖳𝖨𝖭𝖦 . none

𝖬𝖠𝖲𝖳𝖤𝖱𝖫𝖨𝖲𝖳 𖤐 𓈒࣪ ᭡ ˖ 𝖳𝖠𝖦𝖫𝖨𝖲𝖳 𖤐 𓈒࣪ ᭡ ˖ 𝖯𝖫𝖠𝖸𝖫𝖨𝖲𝖳 𖤐 𓈒࣪ ᭡ ˖ 𝖯𝖨𝖭𝖳𝖤𝖱𝖤𝖲𝖳

“You and me we made a vow

For better or for worse”

The memories, still fresh in my mind, the day we got married, room our vows to be wedded to each other our whole life with no uncertainty. I never knew we’d come to this point where the happily established relationship is at the verge of breaking off, I truly never did. But I suppose that's life, unexpected things?

“I can't believe you let me down

But the proof's in the way it hurts”

If it were a few months ago, I would've never believed, oh hell, who would've? we were so happy and content together then how? ‘you’re my only one’ ‘if I ever do something just slap me and remind me who was the one with me all along’ ‘i love you, forever and always’ I suppose they were just void words, nothing else.

“For months on end I've had my doubts

Denying every tear”

The memory is still as fresh as an undone bruise, in my mind. When he accidently left his phone at home and I found messages from an unknown woman, usually it would've been normal and I believe myself to be an understanding one.

However, you can't be really understanding if your husband gets a message somewhat like ‘thanks for the night, meet tomorrow again?’. I chuckled at my stupidity cause I still thought that it was a misunderstanding, every night slapping myself back to reality, whenever I’d cry over that.

“I wish this would be over now

But I know that I still need you here”

I don't want to live like this anymore, not anymore. But can I really leave him? No. All the happy moments we shared together flood back in my mind whenever I’d think of leaving him, concerned about difficulties and troubles he’d face.

But is it really him who needs me? Not at all, it’s the other way around. At this point I’m way too dependent on him to leave him, way too used to seeing his face, making breakfast, sleeping together, referring to myself as his wife.

“You say I'm crazy

'Cause you don't think I know what you've done”

He cupped my face, “You’re behaving really crazily these days, what is happening?” I can't feel the concern, it's the annoyance which is lacing off his voice, covered up as a facade of ‘concern’. “You really don't know?” I smiled with moisture building up in my eyes while he looked at me in confusion.

“But when you call me baby

I know I'm not the only one”

He frowned, “What are you talking about, baby?” I could hear myself chuckling bitterly internally, but I did not dare to do this infront of him, I shook my head lightly with a smile, “Nothing” I smiled, like always.

“You've been so unavailable

Now sadly I know why”

“I was calling you the whole day, why were you not picking up? what if it was something important?” I yelled, “I was busy” Busy sure, perhaps busy giving company to her? I could laugh at my misery at this point, however I'm way too exhausted to even do that, the after effects of crying myself to sleep every night I suppose?

“Your heart is unobtainable

Even though Lord knows you kept mine”

I smiled gleamingly as soon as he stepped foot in the house, running over to him and holding his wrist while dragging him to the kitchen, “What is happening?” He spoke with confusion and gasped at all the dishes in the house; however, as soon as he was about to speak, he got a call.

He excused himself and walked to the corner and then swiftly made another excuse and walked out of the house. What he didn't know was how I was following him, after hearing the faint ‘Happy Anniversary’ through the call.

“You say I'm crazy

'Cause you don't think I know what you've done”

I saw him walking inside a house, I knew who lived there and not wanting to hurt myself anymore, I walked to move out until I saw the two silhouettes, the guy keeping an arm around the girl’s waist and the girl wrapping her arms around his neck, they both swayed to the music elegantly and finally my tears made an appearance on my face, finally.

“But when you call me baby

I know I'm not the only one”

The way back home, it was getting hard not to earn judgmental stares from everyone. When I reached back home, I broke down after trying too hard to hold the sobs. Even choking on my own tears many times, I threw every picture of ours, shattering them all in pieces.

“I have loved you for many years

Maybe I am just not enough”

I walked to the kitchen and saw the pleasant dishes, all decorated with love and walked to the fridge, I opened and saw a homemade cake, ‘Happy Fifth Anniversary’ was written on the vanilla cake.

I smiled bitterly, my salty tears falling on it, ruining the whole taste and it was getting harder to breathe now, I kept the cake on the kitchen top and walked upstairs to find my inhaler.

“You've made me realise my deepest fear

By lying and tearing us up”

I opened every cupboard and then when I found none, I opened our cabinet which was locked, I opened it only to find my unused inhaler which was beside the divorce papers with his part already signed, and that was enough for me to break now.

“You say I'm crazy

'Cause you don't think I know what you've done”

Taehyung walked inside the house only to find the horrendous view, shattered pictures, the house all messy, blood drops all over the floor. He ran inside the kitchen only to find his wife sitting on the dining table with an emotionless face, she looked crazy to him.

“But when you call me baby

I know I'm not the only one”

I looked up only to find him standing with a shocked expression and smiled, walking towards him I held his hand, “What is all thi—” He started but I cut him off, “I hate you” I whispered, he frowned,

“What are you talking—” He started as his voice rose but I smiled and pulled him closer, the music was playing and soon enough the same song was playing while he and she were dancing.

I chuckled, finally he knows that I know. I forcefully made him reenact the same dance steps they did while I was watching, keeping his hand on my waist, I wrapped mine around his neck and started swaying while looking at him with a sad smile.

This was it, this is the end now. He walked to the living room and saw the divorce papers lying on the table with her sign, and soon enough she walked out of the room with a suitcase in her hand. He realised now, what role she played- fuck that, what huge role she played in his life. But would she stop to give him a chance now? Never.

# ask taehyung

# ask y/n

#bts taehyung #bts v #bts #taehyung #taehyung × y/n #bangtan #cheating au #cheating #bts fics #bts fanfic #ACTIVE HERE #i'm not the only one

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