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theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin · 3 years

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Describe what would happen if Lily (from "Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus") suddenly found herself in cannon Harry Potter world in the middle of his fifth year? Oh, and she can't bullshit herself out of this one for some reason, instead she stays there for a month or two while Rabbit, Lenin, and Trotsky somehow join forces and try to find a way to bring her back. Bonus points if Lily crashes a DA meeting and kicks some peoples butts anticlimactically.

Oh boy, that I’m sure would go so well for all involved. In the middle, you say? Alright, let’s do this thing. For my sanity I’m going to pretend this taking place in an up to date version of “Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus” as of chapter 7-whatever we’re on right now.

So, there’s a couple of different ways that Lily can arrive. There’s a few obvious ones that stick out to me.

First, it just somehow happens. Reality’s falling apart in Lily’s own dimension and two seconds away from collapse. Rabbit’s floating around as these things called dementors, eating Umbridge, speaking English all the time, shit’s going down. It’s not all that out of the realm of possibility that Lily accidentally falls into a wormhole which deposits her in canon land.

Second, someone summons Lily. Now, this could either be team good (hooray) or team bad (boo hiss). Lily, being a being of unspeakable power but fairly neutral alignment, could easily be summoned by both. That said, I’m not really sure who to blame the summoning on.

The obvious choice is Harry, because Harry is stupid enough to summon a god to the mortal realm to slay Voldemort and Hermione’s smart enough to figure out how to do that for him. Go omnipotent creature, kill that evil snake man! However, we’re inserting Lily into canon directly, which means no short cuts of Harry having the dumbest idea he’s never had. Otherwise it’s not so much that the Order’s smart enough to know this is a bad idea but that such an idea would never actually occur to them. It says a lot that Dumbledore only ever gives tasks of any importance to Snape, the Order is kind of just... Harry’s glorified babysitters and taxi service.

So Harry and or the Order isn’t summoning Lily to solve all their problems for them. Good on them, smart choice.

Now, what about the Death Eaters and Voldemort?

With the Death Eaters we have a similar problem as the Order. Such an idea would never occur to them or if it would then they’re smart enough to say “NOOOOOOOOOO”. That said, if it ever did, oh Bellatrix would be so down. But only if the being worshipped at the altar of Voldemort’s wonderful... Voldemortness. Whatever it is she sees in him.

Voldemort it depends where you lean on his characterization. We don’t actually see that much of him in canon, barely even hear from him, and we mostly hear about him from a variety of dubious sources (either people who have no idea what they’re even talking about or else Dumbledore who tells Harry this information while actively grooming Harry to kill himself). I’ve seen people characterize canon Voldemort as having once been brilliant but currently mad, as being mad and yet also brilliant despite his many failures, as not mad at all and his schemes are just so intelligent, so brilliant, that none of us can follow them and they all seem to end in failure, and there’s always what I think which we won’t discuss because I look bonkers enough on the internet.

Insane Voldemort might think it’s a great idea to summon some unknown god to stomp all over his enemies. I’m not exactly partial to cookoo bannanas Voldemort but honestly, it’s either him, Lily stumbling through a wormhole, or random kids chanting Bloody Mary in a mirror three times and out comes Lily.

Right, I wasted a lot of paragraphs on that.

Anyways, in the greatest scheme known to man, while Lucius is trying and failing to get that prophecy, Voldemort unearths some ancient text to summon an unknown god. A power that is unknown to mankind. So, I imagine Lily is summoned into canon much like that scene in Ghostbusters where the Sumerian god descends from the heavens. Glowing gate out of nothingness, fog machines, maybe a little less glitter and spandex, and instead Lily having no idea what the hell is even happening.

Lily, realizes she’s in deep shit as she notices Bellatrix prostrated on the ground in worship (of Voldemort of course, not Lily, Lily is just a deity and is nothing compared to the magnificence of the dark lord) as well as the various other Death Eaters all either looking terrified or in mindless awe of their lord’s amazing power. Lily feels like she’s entered Twin Peaks as she eventually is able to put together that the lisping snake man is supposed to be Wizard Lenin/Tom Riddle. Lily and Voldemort probably have tea or something, but as he’s crazy bananas in this version per my own convenience and he looks like something that eats children, it doesn’t go well and Lily gets increasingly weirded out and convinced she’s in some sort of parallel hell reality that comes about when Rabbit eats the entire goddamn universe. So much like someone in a surreal horror movie, Lily flees into the night and goes to Hogwarts to see what madness is there. At first, she’s confused, as Hogwarts looks... mostly Hogwartsy. There are some differences. Umbridge is still alive and apparently torturing all the children as opposed to just Lily. The dementors are gone and apparently Black has now been on the run for years. Default doesn’t exist, instead Hermione Granger is still happily in Gryffindor with Luna Lovegood sorted into Ravenclaw. The biggest marker that everything has changed is that Ellie Potter appears to have been replaced by Harry Potter: A boy who looks oddly like Uncle Death. Now, Lily knows that Death is an alternate reality’s version of her, but this guy doesn’t act anything like him or sound anything like him. Not even a much younger, amnesiac, version. Death... plays quidditch. What is this? Lily tries to return home but is blocked, realizing this means that the Rabbit explanation is more likely, and in Hogwarts decides to see if she can resurrect something of the world she knows out of this monstrosity or at least see where Wizard Lenin ended up. Rabbit, missing in action, should certainly be hunted down.

Lily decides that her best bet is to tail this Harry Potter, who might be the result of whatever happens when Ellie Potter (the persona) is digested. So, Lily cons her way into being a student, joins Gryffindor, and tries and fails to get into Harry’s friend group. First, though she’s older than the thirteen-year-old she’s pretending to be in her original story thanks to time travel, she doesn’t look fifteen yet either. Second, no one just injects themselves into the Golden Trio.

Still, Lily tries and while Ron thinks she’s damn weird and Hermione finds her suspicious, Lily earns herself a billion bonus points by figuring out that all she has to say is, “Oh gee, Harry, I believe you that this bloke named Cedric Diggory was murdered and Voldemort is back from the dead. It’s so awful the Prophet is calling you a liar now have you happened to see a fellow with white hair, black eyes, might be a rabbit? No? Well, do let me know when you do, because he’s late for a very important date.”

Unfortunately, even being close to Harry, there’s no sign of Rabbit but Lily starts getting pulled into Harry’s woes. She hears about his detention with Umbridge (laughs awkwardly as she remembers what happened to Umbridge in her world), hears about quidditch being cancelled (Lily could care less but pretends to be sympathetic, yes Rabbit-eaten Ellie, it is awful that quidditch is cancelled), hears about Dumbledore ghosting Harry (Lily unimpressed as this is what Dumbledore does), and hears about Voldemort’s mysterious actions of mystery involving glowing orbs.

Lily drops that she doesn’t exactly think Lord Voldemort’s a man with a plan here but that’s not what the gang wants to hear so reluctantly, and unprompted, Lily promises to look into it.

In the meantime Lily attends one DA session, turns it into horrifying dodgeball where the children are traumatized forever (because the patronus, Harry, really? That the grand self defense method against dark wizards we’re going to teach these people. No, no, we have to teach ‘duck or die’. You duck, or you die!) and is politely kicked out by Hermione who reminds Harry that he’s the one who should be teaching self defense and not terrifying transfer students who appear out of nowhere.

So Lily goes to fetch the prophecy instead. Having bullshit abilities and being secretly Harry Potter, in a way, herself she’s able to collect it and hears the thing. She remembers hearing this from her own dimension but decides to give it some more thought, then some more thought, then even more thought. She probably spends half a day trying to decide if this means Lily is secretly a zombie or Harry is the manifestation of her being secretly a zombie because ‘neither can live while the other survives’. Like all of us, Lily eventually decides prophecies are stupid, heads back home, and delivers the thing to Harry who is even less able to understand it than she is. Lily tells him that it probably means he’s a zombie, congratulations buddy, glad that’s been working out for you.

Meanwhile, as Lucius no doubt flips shit that the prophecy is simply gone, Voldemort starts taking action. He sends “I know where you live” letters to Lily at Hogwarts which promise doom and destruction and even more doom. Lily finds the idea of doom squared alarming. So, Lily decides to do what she does best, she sics one Tom Riddle on another Tom Riddle. What could go wrong? Lily asks Harry if he’s ever seen a diary with the name “Tom M. Riddle” on the inside cover. Harry flips shit and Lily has to talk fast to get him out of believing she’s the devil. When he tells her that Trotsky was murdered in perhaps the most hilarious manner possible in this world (a very true Rabbity end for him) she nearly gives up when impossibly she catches another hint of Tom Riddle in the air. She follows it to the source, the old Default Common room, and finds a very pretty tiara that Tom Riddle stuffed himself into.

Lily wakes him up in a very jarring manner, tells him that the other Tom Riddle is out there being Voldemort while he’s stuck here in a sad little crown, and tells him that it’s clearly his right to go beat the shit out of Voldemort to take what’s his and never bother Lily again. Tom is very, very, very confused. Instead of doing that he decides he’s going to stick around Hogwarts. That was not in Lily’s plan.

Forced, to hide his identity, Lily introduces him with the good old Albanian refugee trick. Only, without the excuse of A.L.F or Quirrell getting mauled by vampires that just sounds weirder than usual. Lily then backtracks and announces that Voldemort burned down his rural Welsh village (That’s right Umbridge, Voldemort is alive and burning down villages! I will take that detention, thank you!) Mot Elddir here is a true hero for surviving such an awful event and should be placed in Gryffindor now.

Harry is dumb enough though that meeting Tom Riddle face to face, even with blonde hair, Harry can’t quite recognize him though there’s something familiar with this chap. Dumbledore is not that stupid and starts gagging in horror at the staff table and has his suspicions of this Lily girl being a Death Eater/Voldemort himself confirmed. Dumbledore confronts Lily, Lily plays hilariously dumb, “What Death Eaters, people who eat death? Never heard of it, sounds contagious.” Dumbledore confronts Mot Elddir who just finds this all hilarious and has decided that Lily is his new favorite thing that he’s kidnapping as soon as he discovers what he wants to do with his life. He tells Dumbledore this is the best thing since Christmas, and yes he has many many evil schemes involving all the children (he has none). Voldemort instructs Snape to poison Lily, and while Snape feels a pang of conscience at murdering children, Dumbledore gives the go ahead in that they’ll send Lily to the hospital wing where perhaps they can then give her veritiserum and get some answers about what the hell Voldemort is up to. Well, Lily gets poisoned and realizes that she has so many enemies now that she honestly can’t tell if it’s Dumbledore (who is her enemy for her having blatantly released Tom Riddle) or Voldemort (who is her enemy because... she’s not actually sure why for that just that she maybe didn’t burn down London). Being Lily, she doesn’t die or is sent to the hospital wing, and just kills herself to wash the poison out. Snape is horrified and astounded that the girl appears perfectly fine. He’s even more horrified as he hears news of what he missed out on while at Hogwarts, Voldemort summoned some great power into this world and rumor has it that it’s loose at Hogwarts.

Lily talks to her newest Tom friend and tells him that if he’s going to stick around he should help her find out who just murdered her and all that. She doesn’t like being murdered, while dying’s alright, somehow being murdered makes it all that much more unpleasant. New Tom is not very sympathetic and notes that he’s here for his entertainment, not preventing her from being murdered. He just spent the past several decades as a crown, give him a break.

Dumbledore decides that time’s up, time to put Harry to the test. Unfortunately, Harry takes this as a moment to go “Welly well well, look who finally has time for Harry Potter? Finally has time to tell him a prophecy HE COULD HAVE TOLD HIM ABOUT YEARS AGO!” So, Harry destroys his office. After Harry has his Tommy Wiseau temper tantrum (I can’t imagine it any other way), Dumbledore tries to tell Harry that his new friend (who was so kind to fetch him that prophecy, impossibly, from the department of mysteries) is likely some eldritch abomination summoned by Voldemort from another world. Harry alone can defeat her.

Harry at first is angry and disbelieving. Dumbledore notes that Harry must have noticed that dear Mot is really just Tom Riddle going blonde. Harry is speechless, but it’s all true, and he desperately points out that Tom could have done something to Lily. Dumbledore notes that Lily was weird before Tom showed up, hasn’t Harry wondered why Lily doesn’t ever seem to need a wand? Ever?

Harry is horrified and leaves in a daze. On returning to Gryffindor he confronts Lily and asks her some of what Dumbledore asks him. Lily badly tries to pretend she had no idea Mot was evil incarnate, “Tom Riddle? What? No. No! There’s no way that Dear Mot could possibly be Tom” but has no excuses for why she’s so unbelievably talented. Lily decides to just go for it and explains to Harry that this world isn’t even real, it’s a cheap reflection of what reality used to be, that an extradimensional creature other than her has devoured them all and this thing is the result. Lily’s not sure she can fix it, but she can at least try to find the thing that did this to them.

This is enough confirmation for Harry and, fueled by betrayal, he demands a duel with her. Lily notes she doesn’t want to duel but Harry insists. Rather than do it, she runs away, grabs Tom and notes they’re leaving Hogwarts now. Only, outside of Hogwarts protection, she and Tom are easily tracked down and picked up by Death Eaters.

Tom is vaguely embarrassed by the whole get up, as Lily points out how and why it’s ridiculous, while Voldemort probably circles the pair of them and gives some very menacing lisping speech of evil. Lily points out that this is not her fault, Voldemort’s just weird and Lily kind of likes London, she feels no need to stomp on it.

Before Lily’s forced to kill Voldemort, Rabbit finally shows up, notes that Lily’s the one who’s late, and pulls her into a wormhole.

The other Tom Riddle is left behind in dumb horror, realizing as the seconds tick by, that apparently Lily is not coming back for him.

The end.

#ask #anon #lily and the art of being sisyphus #the order of the phoenix #harry potter #albus dumbledore #rabbit #voldemort #tom riddle #not the most well thought out outline ever but this is a tumblr post guys #i do like how it just became lily hanging out with the horcrux of the week anyway

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archiweekend · 3 years

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Zombie Engagement Photos Capture Undying Love

Ben Lee, was resolute with an engagement photo shoot that stored his manliness in tact, so he made the decision his moment of undying love with Juliana Park, needed a violent zombie attack. Because couples who slay together stay together. Juliana and Ben are actually formally engaged after surviving an mid-day battling the walking dead while discussing a glass of vino in Santa Clarita. Maybe that…

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#photography

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jellyfishdooter · 4 years

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Okay so, back when I asked for asks for my Ego DnD AU, @lace-maze sent a really good ask a while back asking about why each of the egos chose the characters they did and their playing styles- and I can’t for the LIFE of me find the original anywhere on my blog. ;3;

But! I finished it and I bet it reads horribly but whatever who cares I’m tired- enjoy!

So to FINALLY answer your question, the way I went about choosing what each of the egos would play more or less boiled down to a combo of trying to pick what I think THEY would want to play, and what I figured they would be in the Dungeons and Dragons universe. (wink wonk)

Marvin- Dragonborn Sorcerer

One of the top veterans of the game, he likes to play something with more of a challenge and a lot more mechanics. And since he’s a magician it’s definitely has to deal with magic of some kind (I mean c’mon, he’s already got the aesthetic wardrobe irl for it so why not?). So he’s currently playing a Sorcerer- a magic caster who has the power naturally within him (which ties in his Race for it’s from his draconic bloodline:)

He could have easily chosen his race to be a Tabaxi (a human-cat like hybrid), but he already got enough shit of being the “furry” of the group as it was so instead he decided to go for a Dragonborn. In the game there are different types of Dragonborn, so specifically he’s Brass- which both deals fire damage breath, and is also resistant to fire.

Being one of the older players, his play style depends on the day. For the most part he is the cool, collected member of the party who doesn’t rush in and thinks things through... Until it’s later in the evening with a few drink in ‘em and then they just say, “Yeah, this might as well happen.” Before taking another shot and round-housing someone poor guy’s ass for mocking his scaly features.

Jackie- Half-Orc Fighter

Always wanting to be the hero, Jackie wants to fight and protect his fellow party members. He only has a few sessions under his belt, but he’s confident in saying that he's comfortable with playing more tanky characters and dealing heavy damage.

Jackie doesn’t have a lot of reasoning for his Race other than Orcs Are Cool so he just rolls with that.

As for his Class he likes having a bunch of different fighting styles to choose from while in combat so he can pick and choose which would work best for the situation (they also get more of a range in picking which Armor Class they want-).

His play style is Protect the Party, but also Rush In Head First Into Danger. He’s always in the front lines of a fight to tank the most damage and provide cover for the more squishy characters. It can get quite frustrating for the healer at times when he runs battleaxe-first into battle, leaving his head behind.

Speaking of healers-

Henrik- High Elf Alchemist

A lot like Anti, Henrik found the idea of playing to be quite silly. But once he got into it, the doctor found it quite enjoyable to get into a fantasy character and forget about the real world for a couple of hours. But wanting to retain some kind of dignity, he decided to play as a High Elf. He was drawn to their grace, wonderlust for adventure, and near perfectionism. To say the least, it's easy for him to slip into character.

Strictly speaking, Alchemist is not the the 5E DnD Handbook, but Jack allowed it and made some homebrew additions to the character so their party would actually have a fucking healer. So in addition to the damage-dealing bombs Henrik’s character uses, he also has a special healing bomb he can yeet at the other players when needed.

Henrik’s play style is serious, but curious. He’s always wanting to explore the world Jack created for them and peacefully interact with the NPCs, enjoying events that unfold naturally. However when it’s time for a proper fight he does not beat around the bush, staying in the back for more long-ranged attacks rather than right on the front lines.

Chase- Human Ranger

The recently-single father needed an outlet other than drinking to try and cope with the loss of his family. So like any good friend, Jack offered Chase a spot in his campaign that he was putting together! He wasn’t too sure at first, Chase said that the game seemed really complex and hard to get into. But Jack waves it off and told his friend, “You honestly have to fully jump into it if you’re gonna get anywhere. There’s not really a small way to start. It’s pretty much all or nothing. But trust me, it’s gonna be great!” And ever since his first session, Chase always looked forward to next week’s game.

Being one of the newer players, Chase doesn’t really play anything too crazy, so he sticks to his guns and runs a Human pc. And he may or may not have based the character on his old life to some degree. Giving himself a stable home, a fulfilling job, and a big loving family and at least 3 dogs. Ya’know, real heavy fantasy stuff.

Jack offered him the newer class/ homebrew of a Gunslinger, but he politely declined ‘cause he didn’t want to have to deal with new rules. So he decided to go with a Ranger for his class, figuring it would make for a cool character to play.

Chase’s play style is pretty average (no pun intended), and not all that spectacular. He gets a few good one-liners in here and there, but for the most part he plays passively. Fights when there’s a fight, and interacts almost only when others interact with him directly. (He’s been trying to get better at being more engaging, but he tends to zone out.)

Jameson- Halfling Bard

This session being JJ’s (and Robbie’s) first ever game, JJ pleasantly surprised Jack when he decided to be a Bard. When asked why, the silent man replied simply, “There’s nothing in the rules saying bards HAVE to sing. At the core of them, they are performers.” Jack beams and asks what’s their instrument of choice then? Jameson smiles and shows him this video, saying he thinks it would be interesting to have this as his musical item. (Also gotta love that good The Bard Seduces Everything trope. He’s keeping that in his back pocket for the right moment.)

As for being a Halfling, Jameson figured it would be fun to play a smaller character. And nobody ever suspects the small man to pack such a whaloop. But really, his love for the hobbits in the Tolkin books had captured his heart and really wanted to try and emulate that in the game! Maybe leaning more towards being a little prankster, but still at the core- in short- Soft Cottage Aesthetic™

Jameson’s play style is bouncy and go-gettem. He’s eager to explore the world and have fun with the NPCs. In battles he’s more comedic relief in the back inspiring the other players (and intimidating enemies by aggressively cranking his music box rapidly). And AT LEAST ONCE he has had Jackie’s character YEET his at the enemy to get the final blow to slay the beast. That was a fun session.

Anti- Changeling Rouge

Do I really gotta explain this one?

Naturally Anti always tries to play the edgiest characters he can. Giving them dark, moody personalities but with a slight crazed tick. (Chase naturally calls hypocrisy when Anti says his character is a self-insert to the game.)

I’m almost out of steam here so in short-

Anti loves the idea of having puppets to mess around with irl- so in the game he can somewhat do the same- by changing his figure/ features to mimic those of somebody to manipulate another. He doesn’t care much for the society around him and does his own thing, but can easily blend in and slip into other’s traditions if he needs to. His character has a tendency to pick fights pretending to be someone else before ducking out and watch the fight take place with a smirk on his hidden features. None of the party has ever seen his real face/ form, always changing it subtly so every time someone tries to take a second look something seems different or off.

Rouge: Quick and Stabby. Like the bitch himself.

Robbie- Undead Druid

Jack had to make a special homebrew character for Robbie ‘cause he was set on being an Undead. Apparently Robbie and Marvin talked about character ideas before hand and Robbie got a little overwhelmed with all the options that they had, so Marv suggested something Rob could relate to easier. So after an afternoon of crafting a special stat sheet, Jack allowed their favorite zombie ego to play.. Well, a zombie. (I’m sure someone else has made something similar out there but I might try and make a sheet later.. That could be fun lmao)

As for Druid, I like to see Robbie as being a little more connected to nature than the rest of the egos. Since he.. Yaknow, crawled out of the dirt at one point. (Side story- before the others found him in an old cemetery, he liked to just hang out around the area that was slowly being reclaimed by nature and liked watched the birds and animals). So he was pretty drawn to choosing this class. It’s a little complicated at points, but that’s why Marvin sits between him and JJ, so he can help them out through the whole process. Robbie gets really excited when one of his spells works in combat or just having fun interacting with the NPCs by growing them some flowers to be nice.

As a whole Robbie’s play style is pretty passive. He gets distracted pretty easily and unless Jack is waving his arms around or using miniatures/ figurines to keep a visual, the zombie will sometimes lose focus and stare off into space for a minute before coming back to the game and raising his hand for something to be repeated.

It’s one big mixing pot of different people and play styles, but at the end of the day, Jack has a lot of fun trying to bounce around and keep up with everyone’s antics and storylines. It’s hard as hell at times and it gets a little frustrating when things get out of hand, but they all try to check each other and keep things rolling. And at the end of the day, all the boys enjoy the game and what Jack has to offer and really fucking enjoy themselves. DnD is a good destresser for most of them and all around a grand fun time!

#shut up jelly #in which egos play dungeons and dragons #dnd au #jse egos #lace-maze

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blueseer · 5 years

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Best of 2018-Best Couple

Glenn and Maggie-The Walking Dead

Nothing says love like staying together during a zombie apocalypse, because of this my pick for best couple goes to Glenn and Maggie from The Walking Dead. What started out as just a flirty, sometime thing during the end of the world turned out to be the best and most stable relationship to come out of the series. They didn’t know each other before the outbreak. They met at Maggie’s dad’s farm house while Glenn and the rest of this crew where seeking shelter. Though they started as a fun fling they soon became a very loving relationship full of support and zombie killing. A couple who slays together, stays together. They have gone through all the trauma of losing family members and friends, near death situations, kidnappings, and general survival and they’ve done it by going at it together. Whenever one of them was in trouble the other would save them. Whenever they get separated they fight tooth and nails to find one another. Glenn’s sheer determination to find Maggie has even inspired strangers to help fight her. They consider themselves married after Glenn asks Maggie’s dad for his blessing and proposes to her. Unfortunately, Glenn was killed in season 7 so he will never get to see his baby that Maggie was pregnant with. Many people think the death of Glenn was one the shows most unforgivable acts because the show lost some heart.

#the walking dead #glenn rhee #maggie greene #TWD #walkers

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thedcdunce · 6 years

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The Riddler

“The future is a riddle only time can solve!” - The Riddler

Real Name: Edward Nashton

Aliases:

Enigma

Edward Nigma

Gender: Male

Height: 6′ 1″

Weight: 183 lbs (83 kg)

Eyes: Blue

Hair: Black

Abilities:

Genius Level Intellect

Investigation

Escapology

Weaknesses:

Obsession

Equipment:

Riddler’s Staff

Universe: New Earth

Base of Operations: Gotham City

Marital Status: Single

Citizenship: American

First Appearance: Detective Comics #140 (October, 1948)

Abilities

Genius Level Intellect: The Riddler is a supreme problem-solver, criminal mastermind. He is a genius with brilliant deductive power. His mind excels with puzzles, minds games, and manipulations. Investigation: He possesses great deductive skills and analytic ability. Escapology: Riddler is adept in escapology. Since childhood Edward has been a big fan of the late great Harold Houdini. Using this skill to build his infamous elaborate death traps and easily escape handcuffs. Like the Joker, he can escape the high security hospital Arkham Asylum whenever he pleases.

Weaknesses

Obsession: His riddles are in fact a bizarre obsessive compulsion; his attempts to stop himself from sending them has met with failure time and time again. This extends to the fact he cannot simply kill his opponents when he has the upper hand, but prefers to put them in a deathtrap to see if he can devise a life and death intellectual challenge that the hero cannot escape. However, compared to Batman's other themed enemies, Riddler's compulsion is quite flexible, allowing him to commit any crime as long as he can describe it in a riddle or puzzle.

Equipment

Riddler's staff

History

Edward Nashton, who later changed his name to Edward Nigma, is the super-villain known as the Riddler. His signature gimmick is committing high-profile crimes, and giving clues or hints to law enforcement. This has made him an enemy of the Batman in Gotham City. The riddles are a compulsive obsession to prove he is smarter than others, and this has made him an occasional patient in Arkham Asylum.

Origins

Edward Nashton was born into a broken home. His mother was absent and his father was abusive. When Edward was a young boy, he became excited at the idea of winning a puzzle contest at school. To increase his likelihood of winning, Edward sneaked into school during the night and practiced the puzzle until he could solve it with ease. He ended up winning, and was awarded a riddle book as a prize. Since that time, he has mastered puzzles, mind games, and riddles.

Edward was profoundly intelligent and would pass tests with apparent ease, something his father, out of jealousy, couldn't or wouldn't believe; he therefore attributed his success to cheating and started beating on him to keep him 'out of trouble,' or to stop him from lying. Out of the abuse, Edward developed a compulsion he has became known for, he constantly endeavors to tell the truth to prove his innocence. This is where his obsession with riddles comes from. Unfortunately, the abuse is also a main factor that drove him mad and to a life of crime.

The Riddler

When Edward got older, he left home and became a carnival performer, using his skills to cheat carnival-goers out of their money. But this was not enough for him. He longed for something more, and became the Riddler, at the same time changing his name to Edward Nigma, picking The Batman as an adversary, as he believes him to be an intelligent and more-than-worthy opponent.

Starting out as a simple informant and criminal profiler for the underworld of Gotham City, as well as for Batman, the Riddler slowly became more of a villain to Batman. It wasn't long before he became a main adversary to the Caped Crusader, constantly testing his analytical abilities to their limits.

The Long Halloween

During the events of the Long Halloween the Riddler became an informant for Gotham city crime lord Carmine Falcone. When a serial killer known as Holiday began targeting Falcone's associates, Carmine hired the Riddler to discover the killer's identity. However, the Riddler's results displeased Falcone, and the gangster even laughed at him, when the Riddler suggested that Carmine himself was the killer. The Riddler later became one of Holiday's victims, but much to the Riddler's confusion, was purposely left unharmed. A year later, Batman consulted Riddler about a second Holiday killer called Hangman.

Career Criminal

Over the years, the Riddler would earn his living through various heists and robberies, working his way up the criminal food chain, eventually even securing himself a couple of henchwomen to do his bidding. Later in his career, after his exploits have been well established for some time, he attempts a heist in Manchester, Alabama, only to be thwarted by Impulse, whose problem-solving skills he severely underestimates after Impulse initially confuses him for The Question.

Dark Knight, Dark City

The Riddler becomes darker and more bloodthirsty when he takes an interest in occult rituals. He discovers instructions on how to tame a bat daemon called Barbatos, originally summoned by Thomas Jefferson. The Riddler leads Batman around the city with a series of riddles, designed to prepare Batman as a demonic sacrifice. To make Batman chase him, he kidnaps four babies. He tricks Batman into kissing a hanged man through CPR, and covers him in blood at a transfusion center. The next step is a dance with the dead, accomplished through zombie robots, then slaying a dog with silver. He forces Batman to slit the throat of an unbaptized child, by leaving him with a baby who needs an emergency tracheotomy. Finally he makes Batman do an acrobatic dance in front of a goat representing the devil, by attacking him with a flamethrower. Batman is captured and tied to an altar. The Riddler prepares to stab Batman in the heart, but the demon Barbatos intervenes to stop him. The Riddler flees in terror and torches the building, but Batman is able to escape.

Knightfall

Riddler was back in action, but he was attacked by Bane, who dosed Riddler with Venom. Batman tried to stop Riddler, but he was too strong and Batman was tired. Bane's henchmen shot Riddler under Bane's command leaving Riddler badly injured.

His stay in Arkham was short lived as Bane released all the inmates as a plan to eliminate Batman. Riddler escaped as well, gathered his old gang and started planning his next move. Riddler sent a letter to the Gotham City Police Department, but they were too busy with all the other criminals from Arkham and Riddler's letters got overlooked in the situation. After a while, his own henchmen got tired of waiting for the police to notice the clues and they ditched Riddler out of the score. On an attempt to be noticed, Riddler went to a live TV broadcast, armed with bombs and took over the show. He delivered his riddles to the audience, but nobody was able to answer them. Riddler was soon stopped by Robin, who watched the TV, learned of his move and arrived at the TV station in no time. The bomb turned out to be fake and Riddler was captured and taken back to Arkham.

Hush

The Riddler is diagnosed with terminal cancer, so he cures himself by stealing one of Ra's al Ghul's Lazarus Pits. This grants him a temporary clarity, and he finally figures out that Bruce Wayne is Batman. He tries to sell this cure to a rich doctor named Thomas Elliot, whose parents also died of cancer. Elliot hates Bruce Wayne, and they decide to work together to destroy Batman. Elliot becomes the villain Hush, and the Riddler designs an intricate plan. This involves enlisting or manipulating Catwoman, Clayface, Harley Quinn, Huntress, Jason Todd, The Joker, Killer Croc, Poison Ivy, Scarecrow, and Superman. Batman and Nightwing actually fight the Riddler during this time when he robs an armored car. They assume the Riddler is too pathetic to be involved. Hush loses to Batman, and Batman figures out that the Riddler was the mastermind. Batman explains that a riddle everyone knows the answer to is worthless, so he knows the Riddler will keep his secret. Ra's al Ghul will also have his League of Assassins kill the Riddler if they ever discover what happened. Batman punches the Riddler, tells a security guard that he fell, and leaves Arkham Asylum.

After the Hush incident, Riddler escaped from Arkham and sought Poison Ivy's protection from Hush and from the League of Assassins. However, Ivy was equally mad at him after he used her on his "Hush" scheme and she attacked Riddler as soon as he stepped into her lair. Riddler tried to escape, but Ivy wouldn't let him go. Riddler finally gave up and asked Ivy to kill him and finish his pain. However, she refused, leaving Riddler helpless in a catatonic state.

Downfall and New Start

Later, Elliott reappeared demanding from the Riddler the location of the Lazarus Pit. When Riddler refused to answer, he was brutally beaten. Seeking refuge, the Riddler went to the Joker and the Penguin. He tries to bargain with the Joker for asylum and he agrees but eventually his safety is compromised and he is forced to go on the run again. He asks Poison Ivy for asylum, both of whom remembered his manipulation and the meeting didn't go well. At a loss, the Riddler went into a downward spiral of insanity and became homeless. He eventually was found by a ex-NASA decoder who helped him recover his mind. It is during this time that the Riddler has an induced flashback about his childhood, he comes to the realization of what happened when he was abused and why. He also deduces the reason behind why he has the compulsion he has for riddles.

Using his vast fortune, acquired over many years of crime, he gets minor plastic surgery and extensive tattooing. He covers the majority of his torso with his trademark question mark insignia. He kills the Codebreaker, who has discovered his secret identity and steals a priceless scroll, before Batman can get to it. It was at this time that Riddler starting amassing a huge fortune legally and attacking various heroes to prove his abilities.

During this time, he had a run in with Green Arrow, Arsenal and the Outsiders. The Riddler is up for revenge against his defeat by the Green Arrow and he brutally injures and almost kills the the two archers. If not for the timely arrival of the Outsiders they may have been killed. Before these events, the Riddler was hired to steal artifacts imbued with mystical powers from one of Star City's museums, and then distract the authorities so that the related rituals could be commenced. He sends Team Arrow on a wild goose chase around the City, and then reveals that he has an atomic bomb housed in the stadium where the Star City Rockets play. However, as a side effect of the ritual performed with the artifacts, the city is plunged into complete darkness, and Green Arrow uses this to his advantage, to capture the Riddler.

Infinite Crisis

The Riddler was with a group of villains attacking the Gotham City Police Department. He later escaped from Arkham Asylum after a worldwide breakout by the Secret Society of Super Villains. He then is along with the Society when they attack Metropolis. He is defeated by the Shining Knight and is struck in the head by the Knight's mace.

One Year Later

The Riddler was sent into a coma when he was hit in the head by the Shining Knight's mace. When the Riddler awoke a year later, without his obsessive compulsive fixation for riddles but still possesses his great intellect and enormous ego. He also suffers from memory loss forgetting his own name for a while and not remembering that Bruce Wayne is Batman, but he is suspicious. With the Penguin's advice, he was reformed and then became a private investigator at which he legally develops even more of a fortune. He was finally on the right side of the law using his great talents for the good of the people.

He even becomes involved in a ship bound murder mystery alongside Batman, while deducing a part of the mystery, Batman deduces the real reason. In the end they both did there part in solving the crime and have become hostile allies. He is then hired by Bruce Wayne to find a experimental drug stolen from Wayne Enterprises. In the end with the help of a reformed Harley Quinn he gets the drug back and returns it to the rightful owners.

In a run in with Mary Marvel he describes to her how he is reformed, the two then join forces against Clayface, where Edward gets to see up front how twisted and cruel she has become with a great power. He suggests that she gets a mentor or some anger management.

Even Nightwing hired him to find out who was behind recent string of museum robberies, whom he later saves from gang warfare while investigating Penguin's involvement in organized crime. He later deduces that Nightwing is Dick Grayson.

During his time as detective, word about Batman's death started to spread. As crime became more violent in Gotham, he was approached by Penguin who wanted Nigma's service as an investigator to find the new Black Mask that started operating in Gotham. To help his investigation, he recruited Harley Quinn and later Poison Ivy joined their efforts. On this quest, Riddler became the man who helped Quinn, Ivy and Catwoman to become a team.

Fun Facts

In many other realities, the Riddler's birth name is Edward Nigma, Edward Nygma, E. Nigma or even Edward E. Nigma. However, the New Earth Riddler was born Edward Nashton and changed his name to Edward Nigma later in life.

Jim Gordon has mentioned that several Gotham criminals have their own codewords. These are special phrases they can say when they call the GCPD, to distinguish them from prank phone calls. The Riddler chose "Oedipus" as his codeword, because Oedipus solved the riddle of the Sphinx. Gordon remarks that this is strange, because medical records suggest the Riddler hated his own mother. The Riddler's codeword for Batman is "The Hanging Man."

The Riddler's online screen name is "Wizard101." This might be a reference to the game of the same name, which was released the same year as Detective Comics #845, the issue where this username was used.

#the riddler #riddler #edward nashton #enigma #edward nigma #edward nygma #e nygma #e nigma #joker league of anarchy #the society #dc #dc comics #thedcdunce #batman

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wazafam · 3 years

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Showtime's Shameless is set to air its final episode, marking an end to the show's 11-season run. Through the years the Gallaghers, Balls, and Milkovichs have faced a lot of challenges and life-threatening situations, going through mental breakdowns, jail time, and the current pandemic together. These three families have merged into one scrappy group of survivors who can take on the world together.

RELATED: Shameless Characters Ranked Least To Most Likely To Win The Hunger Games

Each member of the group contributes something useful and even alone all of them should have no trouble holding their own if zombies invaded Earth and they found themselves in the Apocolypse. This band of misfits would use their strength, wit, and weapon skills to fend off and evade the hordes of undead. They have made it through their own version of hell a few times on the show, so these ten characters should see the zombie apocalypse as a walk in the park.

10 Liam Gallagher

Liam has come a long way since basically being a prop in season one. And while being the smallest member of the group might make him an easy target, his size has its advantages and his smarts would allow him to find creative ways to stay alive.

He has shown he is good at convincing people to do what he wants and his keen observations and negotiation skills would allow him o find a good bodyguard and all the resources he needed, and since he's smaller he wouldn't need as many of them those resources to stay alive.

9 Sandy Milkovich

The newest member of the crew proved early on she was valuable to have around. She knocked out annoying Julia in one of her first appearances and has continued to show off her Milkovich brawling style since her start on the show.

The name Milkovich alone means she's not one to mess with and she would certainly not be afraid of any zombies.

8 Veronica and Kevin Ball

If the apocalypse went down, these two would surely be together as the true ride-or-die couple. They would make an unbeatable team with his brawn and her brain and refusal to take crap from anybody. She would make sure they didn't get taken advantage of by the ruthless gangs that would surely appear in a ravaged wasteland.

RELATED: Shameless: 5 Couples That Are Perfect Together (& 5 That Make No Sense)

Kevin has carried kegs and crosses, so there should be nothing he couldn't lift or move, making it a sure thing that they could secure shelter and that he would be able to easily defend them in a fight against unruly humans or zombies. As long as they don't separate, the two should have no trouble taking on the end of the world.

7 Ian Gallagher

Ian has gone through some rough times on the show but it has made him a very strong and mature man because of it. All of the obstacles he's faced will greatly prepare him for taking on the undead and surviving the wasteland. He is also a trained EMT which could help him in case of injury.

His brief time in the military has taught him how to shoot and his time living on the street and in prison has made him very resilient. Of course, he will have to stock up on his medication or he might do something he regrets that could cost him.

6 Lip Gallagher

Lip has been taking care of the family with Fiona most of his life and when she left he was the only responsible one. He has proven to be the most intelligent of the family, the only one to ever go to college, even if he messed that up big time. He might not be a sharpshooter like his brothers but he's quick on his feet and would find a creative way out of any situation he found himself in during the apocalypse.

His sharp mind would help him find resources and make traps, keeping him safe and fed. As long as he doesn't go back to his self-destructive behaviors, he should have no trouble pulling through.

5 Fiona Gallagher

Since she was a young girl, Fiona has had to take care of her family by herself, thanks to her deadbeat parents. This has caused her to become pretty resourceful and scrappy, traits needed to survive the onslaught of zombies. She knows how to find resources when they are low and would make sure she didn't go without them since she has already shown the types of jobs she's willing to work and the schemes she's willing to pull to keep the family fed and housed.

And since zombies are basically walking corpses, and she has punched a corpse before as well as a few humans, any fight shouldn't be too difficult for her.

4 Mickey Milkovich

Not only has Mickey been around the Gallaghers for a while, absorbing their greatness, but he also comes from his own tough-as-nails family who has trained him to take crap from nobody. Mickey is probably the least likely to flinch when it comes to killing and would probably really enjoy taking ut the zombies.

And when he runs out of ammo he's proven he could outrun them, since he's outrun the cops a few times on the show. He can sometimes be lazy and that might cause his supply to run low too often, but he's also shown he has no trouble being a bully and would just take what he needed from someone else in the wasteland.

3 Carl Gallagher

Carl has been training for this practically his whole life. He has always had an unhealthy obsession with guns and other fatal weapons and probably has the best aim and accuracy of the group when it comes to shooting. His time in military training and the police has prepared him for the battlefield that would be created by a zombie in the apocalypse.

RELATED: Shameless: The Worst Thing Each Main Character Has Done

He would get great pleasure from eliminating all the zombies, probably finding a way to turn it into a game or competition to see who could take out the most enemies. He would also be able to keep himself fed by hunting animals, while his time as a cook would allow him to prepare it.

2 Debbie Gallagher

Debbie would slay the wasteland. Her skills as a welder would come in handy as long as she manages to keep tabs on her tools. She can reinforce or break into any habitat she desired. Not only has she proven she can throw a punch even with a baby in her arms, but she has also shown to have pretty high endurance and can run for a long time and fast, as seen when she ran from the cops in season 10 after sleeping with a minor.

And since she's a Gallaher, she built up her endurance with all the running from the cops and the people she messed with. Outrunning zombies is a majority of what makes someone service the apocalypse.

1 Frank Gallagher

Frank is like a cockroach, he can survive anything. He has somehow managed to survive his life so far and he did all that while barely being coherent most of the time. Due to his love of alcohol, he has passed out and woken up on the street or in a different county, but still managed to come out alive.

He has survived numerous falls, broken bones, a bad liver and who knows how many concussions. The man is like a horror movie villain and refuses to be taken out. Knowing Frank, he would find a way to profit off of the whole situation.

NEXT: Shameless: The D&D Moral Alignments Of The Main Characters

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bruceedickinson · 7 years

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Maiden adventures part 1: San Bernardino aka "Maidenfest"

Wow. Yesterday was absolutely insane, in both the best and the worst ways possible, but I'll go about it in chronological order.

The day had come: I was finally going to go to a concert with my best friend. Jaidyn and I had been trying to go to one together for years; from King Diamond to Rob Zombie to Ghost, something always came up and either one or none of us could make it work, until now.

We left town around 11 and got to the venue around 1:15, I was shocked at how many people were tailgating in the parking lot but I imagine most had reserved seats or lawn general admission. There was a merch stand at the beginning of the trail up towards the gates, so I went and picked up four different designs, one of which was the venue-exclusive design for the California shows in Oakland and right there in San Bernardino, buying an additional couple shirts for friends. Walking up the trail, I was eager to meet up with Jamie/ @gedddylee and her sister, we’d been planning to hang out in line the moment we bought tickets in January and we were minutes away from doing so. After a few minutes, Jamie saw me and we totally freaked out, it's amazing when you get to meet up with online friends you've known for ages and then see a band you both love together. The wait for doors to open at 3pm seemed to take forever, venue employees always lag on opening them right at the scheduled time, but eventually, the gates were opened and we all piled into the venue, making our way to the stage… until we discovered that the pit was closed until 4pm, and we had to get entry wristbands at the entrance. Luckily, we had about 35 minutes left to do so. Setting my water down, I dragged myself back to the gates and acquired wristbands for myself, Jaidyn and her dad, then made it back to the line and waited for 4pm to come. It came faster than initially thought, and we were off! I led the way for the pack to follow me, flashing my yellow wristband to venue employees before sprinting to the right side of the stage and making it to the same exact row in the same exact position I was in the first time I saw Maiden last year, second row right in front of Janick and Steve. I couldn’t believe it! The same place twice in a row, more than 14 months apart. Could’ve been luck, could’ve been fate, but either way, we were all there and ready for the metal madness to unfold.

Exodus, Kamelot and Ghost were the opening bands; Exodus went on first, and they were incredible, I'd missed them twice over the past two years and I'm happy that they were the first thrash metal band I got to see because they're my favorite band (in that genre) of probably all time. I was right in front of the legendary Gary Holt and I'm so grateful I was able to see him because he has double guitar duties for both Exodus and Slayer, there's always a chance he's off touring with Slayer when Exodus are as well, but this was the only show Exodus has done so far this year so he was able to be there. There were a few issues with Zetro's (Steve Souza) mic during the opening song (Bonded by Blood) but luckily it was fixed by the second song. There was so much energy and it was borderline overwhelming, everyone was headbanging and throwing up the horns and I kinda wish I'd been able to headbang more but my hair's too heavy for that haha. They had Fabulous Disaster in the setlist and it was probably my favorite in the set apart from The Toxic Waltz since both songs are from my favorite album of theirs so that was pretty cool. Zetro actually pointed at me during Blacklist since there was a parting between the first and second rows and I was in plain sight. I was in shock for a few seconds afterward; it's always hard to register that you just had your existence acknowledged by a band members, let alone the lead singer of your favorite thrash metal band. They only played for 45 short minutes but it was so worth missing them twice over the years. I hope to see them again soon.

Kamelot were next and they were unfortunately plagued with the worst of the audio difficulties; there was feedback left and right but luckily my earplugs reduce the most harmful frequencies to your hearing so it didn't really bother me. They were my least favorite opener out of the three; as a whole they were okay, but they're American power metal and I prefer the European variety. They had a couple female guest singers come out for a few songs and they honestly stole the show; I cannot remember the blonde singer's name at all but she slayed my life oh my GOSH. Ghost came on about half an hour later, and you would not believe how amazing they were; I missed them twice last October and there is no better feeling than finally getting to see your third favorite band for the first time. Papa Emeritus and the Ghouls were on fire and they sounded fantastic, the Ghouls looked like they were having a blast and they really got the crowd going the most out of all the openers (they're the main openers for Iron Maiden this year and they've really won over a lot of the fans, which is amazing because Maiden fans are typically super snooty about opening acts, they just want to see Maiden), Exodus were an extremely close second. Papa was so charming and funny and lewd and it was my favorite thing, I love him so much let's be real. Fire Ghoul (lead guitarist) pointed at me and Papa waved at me and I can honestly die happy. I cannot wait to see them two more times in over two weeks. And then things started nosediving really quickly. After Ghost left the stage and their and Maiden's road crews came out to change stage sets, security was trying to divide the pit up so they could get to someone who was trying to start a fight or something, I have no idea; security were pulling a handful of crowdsurfers and bozos doped up on who knows what from the pit mostly during Exodus' set, but it was really getting more and more frequent once it came to be time for Maiden to hit the stage. Once Doctor Doctor began playing over the PA system, we were all squished together like sardines and I wound up having to put most of my weight on the First to the Barrier guy in front of me, I felt so bad for him since he was taking so much of the overall crushing and weight and was hunched over most of the time but there was honestly nothing anyone could do. I did wind up having a very clear view of the stage but I could barely enjoy it since I was just fighting to hold myself upright and trying not to die. I lost count of how many crowdsurfers/people who wanted out went over me; my neck and shoulders took a serious beating, I lost my hat twice but got it back both times, my glasses got knocked off my face constantly (I actually had makeup smudged into a lens after being knocked around particularly hard) and I had quite a few strands of hair ripped out from being crushed like a soda can against the people in front of and in back of me. I actually almost went down a couple times from trying to avoid crowdsurfers and it was honestly a miracle I managed to get myself back up again, the fact all my buttons and pins managed to stay on my battle jacket as well is probably due to black magic. It felt like I had every drunk and crackhead in the venue shoved up against me, I literally could not move on my own and I barely had the strength to hold my camera up for pictures and video as I was using whatever I had left to wrestle tall sweaty dudes off me, some of the ones I did manage to get aren't as great as I would have liked them to be since it was impossible to get a constant steady shot from being thrashed around nonstop. I was so exhausted that I only smiled a few times throughout the entire two-hour set and I wasn't even singing along most of the time, I was only mouthing the lyrics and I looked so miserable that Janick actually mouthed, "Are you okay?" to me but I think I lied and nodded that I was. There was also a pro photographer that scoped my section frequently so there might be a chance of me finding pictures of myself looking like an actual zombie lol. Luckily I was able to make it out of the venue in one piece, thanks to a very nice shirtless guy from San Diego; I'm just very sore and tired and my upper arms will be completely bruised by Independence Day. I didn’t lose my voice since I didn’t shriek very much during Maiden so that’s a plus I guess. Even though I barely remember anything of last night and the pit was the worst I have ever been in, it wasn't all bad, I do remember that the boys' performance as a whole was just as good if not better than last year’s show at The Forum; Bruce sounded the best I'd ever heard him, his scream during The Number of the Beast was on par with the one from Flight 666, which blows my mind because NotB is in the encore this tour and it was in the middle of the set for Flight 666. What a man. He made a bunch of horrible dad jokes before Children of the Damned and I could literally feel my soul leave my body when he made a Fifty Shades of Grey reference 😂 I made lots of eye contact with Steve and Janick, who may have recognized me from last year, he pointed his guitar right at me while shaking his head and smiling/laughing. I also got to see Bruce's bare stomach when he covered Janick's head with his hoodie during The Red and the Black, I unfortunately didn't get footage of that but I was pretty much yelling "GOD BLESS AMERICA" the whole time when it happened because it was toned and glorious and it cleared my skin lmfaoo Someone threw a bra at Bruce at the end of NotB and he joked how he has a collection of hats, “some of which are questionable” and I died hahaha. Bruce threw it to the floor afterward and Janick picked it up and hooked it onto his headstock and it was my fave. I almost caught a drumstick from Steve after Wasted Years but I was too far out of reach, had I been at the barrier I most certainly would’ve caught it. Maybe it’s a sign for things to come.

Overall, Maiden themselves never ever disappoint, they mean the world and beyond to me and I'm glad I did see at least some of the show, but I will definitely think twice about doing the pit at this venue or even going to see them at this venue again. I’m just grateful I have two more shows in Mansfield and Brooklyn to look forward to later this month, they’ll make up for this fiasco for sure.

#yes i did change my mind about posting journal entries here lol #personal #maiden adventures

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