I've been thinking a lot lately about how Kabru deprives himself.
Kabru as a character is intertwined with the idea that sometimes we have to sacrifice the needs of the few for the good of the many. He ultimately subverts this first by sabotaging the Canaries and then by letting Laios go, but in practice he's already been living a life of self-sacrifice.
Saving people, and learning the secrets of the dungeons to seal them, are what's important. Not his own comforts. Not his own desires. He forces them down until he doesn't know they're there, until one of them has to come spilling out during the confession in chapter 76.
Specifically, I think it's very significant, in a story about food and all that it entails, that Kabru is rarely shown eating. He's the deuteragonist of Dungeon Meshi, the cooking manga, but while meals are the anchoring points of Laios's journey, given loving focus, for Kabru, they're ... not.
I'm sure he eats during dungeon expeditions, in the routine way that adventurers must when they sit down to camp. But on the surface, you get the idea that Kabru spends most of his time doing his self-assigned dungeon-related tasks: meeting with people, studying them, putting together that evidence board, researching the dungeon, god knows what else. Feeding himself is secondary.
He's introduced during a meal, eating at a restaurant, just to set up the contrast between his party and Laios's. And it's the last normal meal we see him eating until the communal ending feast (if you consider Falin's dragon parts normal).
First, we get this:
Kabru's response here is such a non-answer, it strongly implies to me that he wasn't thinking about it until Rin brought it up. That he might not even be feeling the hunger signals that he logically knew he should.
They sit down to eat, but Kabru is never drawn reaching for food or eating it like the rest of his party. He only drinks.
It's possible this means nothing, that we can just assume he's putting food in his mouth off-panel, but again, this entire manga is about food. Cooking it, eating it, appreciating it, taking pleasure in it, grounding yourself in the necessary routine of it and affirming your right to live by consuming it. It's given such a huge focus.
We don't see him eat again until the harpy egg.
What a significant question for the protagonist to ask his foil in this story about eating! Aren't you hungry? Aren't you, Kabru?
He was revived only minutes ago after a violent encounter. And then he chokes down food that causes him further harm by triggering him, all because he's so determined to stay in Laios's good graces.
In his flashback, we see Milsiril trying to spoon-feed young Kabru cake that we know he doesn't like. He doesn't want to eat: he wants to be training.
Then with Mithrun, we see him eating the least-monstery monster food he can get his hands on, for the sake of survival- walking mushroom, barometz, an egg. The barometz is his first chance to make something like an a real meal, and he actually seems excited about it because he wants to replicate a lamb dish his mother used to make him!
...but he doesn't get to enjoy it like he wanted to.
Then, when all the Canaries are eating field rations ... Kabru still isn't shown eating. He's only shown giving food to Mithrun.
And of course the next time he eats is the bavarois, which for his sake is at least plant based ... but he still has to use a coping mechanism to get through it.
I don't think Kabru does this all on purpose. I think Kui does this all on purpose. Kabru's Post Traumatic Stress Disorder should be understood as informing his character just as much as Laios's autism informs his. It's another way that Kabru and Laios act as foils: where Laios takes pleasure in meals and approaches food with the excitement of discovery, Kabru's experiences with eating are tainted by his trauma. Laios indulges; Kabru denies himself. Laios is shown enjoying food, Kabru is shown struggling with it.
And I can very easily imagine a reason why Kabru might have a subconscious aversion towards eating.
Meals are the privilege of the living.
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—you suck off sub!mike in his office ★
pairing: sub!mike schmidt x reader
content: porn w/o a plot, smut, no use of y/n, reader has grippable hair, oral male!receiving
“What’re you doing??” his brows furrowed at the feeling of your hand sliding into his inner thigh.
“Don’t mind me.” the corner of your lip curved up and your hand remained in place.
Mike’s doe eyes waltzed aimlessly around the TV monitor as he flicked through the noisy cameras. He was already tired of this stupid job.
Your fingers could not help themselves as they crept closer and closer to your boyfriend’s crotch. Once they had reached jackpot, your hand began to gently rub against his bulge.
A restrained moan slipped out from his mouth, “babe, not here. Not here…” he groaned as you gave him a soft squeeze.
“Pffffft!” you scoffed. “Nobody’s watching.” you proceeded to slowly fondle with his ever-growing bulge.
“Please, I can’t loose this job.” he begged as he clamped his hands on the arms of the chair, knuckles turning ivory white.
“Gosh, you’ve always been super sensitive.” you rolled your eyes and copped a light feel of his sack before unzipping his jeans.
You bit your lips unconsciously at the sight of his precum already seeping through his briefs. Your hand practically led itself up and down his hidden cock.
“Don’t tell me you’re gonna cream yourself already.” you snickered.
Mike frantically shook his head, but his flushed cheeks gave himself away.
“You need to relax, baby.”
You dropped to your knees and spread his legs further apart for better room. Your hand returned to gently rubbing against his shaft and your ears peaked up at the sound of him steadily sucking in the air through his teeth.
He began to feel your delicate kisses sprinkle all over his dick. He had no option, but to clench his fist to hold back from spilling all of himself too soon for your liking.
His huge eyes watched every move you made, anticipating the next. Ready to get high off of whatever treat you were about to give him.
You admired from below as the man above was spiraling out of control by the second. You had not even put him in your mouth and he was already about to come undone.
“I can’t relax like this-oh god!” he immediately threw his head back as he felt himself spring free and your hand gripping his length. Your touch was enough to send him to the stars.
You took a moment to ogle at his massiveness. You figured it shape-shifts and adjusts to it whatever state its in because your brain still couldn’t comprehend how such a thing could be supported by him all day long.
“Fuck..” he breathed out once your wet lips wrapped around his cock. He laid further back on the office chair and pulled his hoodie and shirt up just a bit.
Your tongue swirled around his tip, before you took it back out and lazily slipped your tongue up and down his length. You took your sweet time coating him in your slobber, testing his patience; your fave thing to do.
You rubbed his thickness with one hand and rested the other on his stomach, particularly his happy trail.
His mumbled curses came to an abrupt stop as soon as you started bobbing your head. With his mouth agape he threw his head back and you sucked as tenderly as you possibly could.
He reached out to guide your head, placing his coarse fingers through your hair. The urge to shove and move you, so you could suck at the pace he wanted you to, was strong. However, he knew he better.
You relinquished his cock for a moment. “grab as much as you want, sweetheart.” you breathed out.
His eyes widened a little, not expecting that from you. You gave a faint smile, deciding he could have his way with you for once.
He clasped a chunk of your hair not a millisecond later; not roughly, yet not gently either.
You hollowed your cheeks and blew twice as hard. “Jesus Christ!” he whined, through gritted teeth, as he pushed you further down. He was seconds away from spilling all of his load into your mouth.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck..I can’t hold it anymore!” he wailed.
His eyes rolled far back as he felt the intense wave of pleasure wash over his body. His cum spat out non-stop and you graciously took every drop he had to offer. The amount was too much to bare and it would drizzle down the corner of your lips.
You licked the salty stickiness from your bottom lip. Mike marveled, in his disheveled state, at the scene below him. You looked so beautiful right now despite the fact that you had just sucked him off.
You sprung off your knees and shared the taste with him.
“How you like that?” you titled your head as you rasped out.
“mehhh.” he answered with lidded eyes.
You giggled, “you’re so cute.”
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© beatificwrites
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