#class women which is part of why I started talking more about my background and action here had many dm me it was good

[exausta-verytired]

are you a radical feminist? fail proof test!

1. are you part of a women's organisation that has its direct action primarily based on radical feminist theory?

2. are you an academic researcher/writer in the field of radical feminism?

If you answered yes to one or both, you're a radfem. If your answer to both is negative, you're not. The end

#political movements aren't identities centered on individual choices #obviously your life outside activism won't be above questioning. but making 'good feminist' individual choices but not fighting against any #misogynistic law and practice of YOUR community makes you a critical woman and a feminist sympathiser #which is great. just not activist no matter how much you feel supior to certain activists #I do typically agree that a lot of women who lurk radbrl but feel it doesn't contemplate them would like theory written by and for working #class women which is part of why I started talking more about my background and action here had many dm me it was good #but damn does the misrepresentation of marxist feminists get annoying #I know actual radical leftists in the global north are hard to find but daamn. you sound like the podcast antifeminists who distort Engels #.txt #I don't call myself one because my primary activism is in educational and the two feminist organisations I regularly assist dont have a #single current but one is primarily marxist and the other hacker feminist

[ramblingthoughtsofayoungadult]

Unpredictable Part 3-Limoreau x black!fem!reader fic

A/N: AAAH, thank you for all the support on this. I didn't think it'd be a series but I can't stop writing.

Warnings: toxic parents, body shaming, eating disorders, alcohol abuse, and swearing

Words: 7.7k

Series Masterlist

 “…and that’s how I knew that I was meant to do charity work,” the nasal redhead concluded.

That afternoon, the Si Chi house was packed with pledges in floral or puffy Selkie and Miss Selfridge sun dresses. A handful of servers circulated the foyer with trays of orange juice and mimosas. The combination of Prada Candy and Viktor Rolfe Flowerbomb made my head spin but I smiled through it as I nodded at different pledges’ stories. All of them were desperately trying to toe the line between interesting and bragging because one could never act too important for a potential house.

“That’s great news,” I glanced at her name tag, “Brenda since Si Chi regularly engages in philanthropic work.”

 Brenda smiled widely, making the hot pink blush on her cheeks even more prominent. “I know, that’s why I’m so interested in joining this---your house.”

“Well, we are glad that you took the time to visit us. Would you excuse me?”

As I weaved my way through the foyer, I plucked a mimosa from a passing server and started sipping. Exactly five seconds passed until I was surrounded by a new crop of bright-eyed freshmen.

“Oh my gosh, are you Y/N Y/L/N?” a willowy brunette asked.

“Guilty, and you are?”

“She’s Justine,” a shorter brunette interrupted.

Justine narrowed her eyes and thinly covered the glare with a smile. “I can introduce myself, thanks, Renee.”

Renee shrunk a little in her oversized light blue sundress and I glanced at Justine.

“So, why are you interested in our house?” I asked.

Justine straightened up and smiled like a pageant girl. “Well, I’m perfectly aligned with all the values of Si Chi: Sisterhood, respect, and intelligence. I am all about women empowerment and I respect people from all backgrounds----I’m exposed to a bunch of different people as an actress, anyway.”

“What about intelligence?”

“Well, I think there’s many different kinds of intelligence and, as an actress, I’m emotionally intelligent to the point where I’m exhausted by everyone else’s energy.”

“She really has to prioritize self-care,” Renee added.

“It’s great that you’re aware of that for yourself.”

She had to be one of the least self-aware people I ever encountered and that was a difficult fete. However, her socials had decent numbers and she had been in a few Vought Plus movies, which would help her win Sydney and Lydia, the vice president, over. The next two years with her and her friend would be irritating.

A softer expression slipped across Justine’s face, and she took a step towards me. “I just want to say that I think it’s so brave that you’ve been participating in all the rush events despite your traumatic experience. I can’t imagine what it must have been like to see Luke,” she paused and placed a hand on her chest, “kill himself.”

Though it had been a week since, it still felt like a bomb rolled off Justine’s tongue when she said it. The wave of emotions that I experienced in that time was hard to describe; Shetty said that grief was a rollercoaster, and the influx of emotions was normal.

“As impossible as it may seem, one day you will come to accept what happened,” she’d advised. “You may experience more anxiety but, with your network, I am sure you will be able to cope.”

The network she referred to was strained at best and destroyed at worst. My “sisters” were as supportive as they could be: Alina gave me a Lush self-care kit, Sasha was not nearly as antagonizing as usual, Lydia gave me grief book recommendations, and Sydney let me pick what workout classes we attended. Emma and Cate were the only non-Si Chi people I spoke to since it was way too difficult to speak to the others.

Justine placed her hand on my shoulder. “If you ever need someone to talk to, you can count on me.”

“Thank you for the thought,” I replied, smiling tightly.

“You must be so grateful that Marie was there to stop him,” Renee quipped.

I sipped some more juice to keep the confusing feelings from bubbling up. Nothing could have prepared me for Marie and Andre being propped as the Guardians of Godolkin, which was arguably the dumbest name Vought could give them. The less I wanted to see them, the more I saw their promos and videos. It was horrible that the last time we spoke we had a fight but every time I saw her, I felt a weird wrench in my chest.

At the very least, Emma seemed happy for her.

Then, Coco Allen, a Si Chi junior, appeared from the crowd and squeezed between the freshmen. “There you are, Y/N, I have a crim freshman with a water manipulation ability who wants to pick your brain.”

“Sure. Will you excuse me?”

“Bye!” Renee called as Coco pulled me through the crowd.

When we got to the less populated living room, I exhaled a breath I did not know I was holding. Then, I turned to the beaming Coco.

“Thank you,” I said.

“You’re welcome. You know I hate entitled freshmen,” Coco mused.

Coco was the only other black girl in Si Chi and happened to be the first one to talk to me when I visited the house last year. She was a little shorter than me with deep mahogany skin that always glowed. She always wore her waist-length jet-black hair in tight curls and accessorized solely with gold jewelry. That day, she wore a fitted white sundress with espadrilles.

“Were there this many last year?” I asked.

Coco shook her head. “But there are a few more black girls so it’s promising.”

“That’s great! I hope I can find them before the event’s over.”

“That would be great.” Coco eyed me. “So, how are you holding up?”

“I’m okay, the mimosas don’t hurt though.”

“They never do. You didn’t have to come today, you know, you could have taken more time, get out of here for a minute.”

I shook my head. “I needed this, it’s a nice distraction or, it has been. Besides, what would it look like if the secretary didn’t attend?”

Coco nodded slowly but I could tell that the gears in her head were turning too much for her to be convinced. “You’re already Sydney and Lydia’s favorite and they might have let it slide.”

I cocked my head at her and she immediately started chuckling half-heartedly.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. The hoops they make us jump through are ridiculous,” Coco reflected.

“It makes sense why you didn’t want to be an officer even though you’re poli sci,” I commented.

Coco grinned. “Hey, I’m making decent connections just by being in this house. This is just a steppingstone on my path to become the first black woman supe president.”

Even though the title was long, if anyone could do it, it was Coco. One time last year I sat in on one of her debates in class and she had a senior in tears and their debate partner ready to put their laser eyes to good use.

“Well, don’t forget little ole me when you’re a big shot,” I teased.

Coco frowned. “What do you mean ‘little’? You have done too much to talk like that.”

I shrugged. “Not that they’re not as important but my four-year plan is less impressive than yours.”

“Oh yeah, the plan where you basically end up a trophy wife? No shade but, I think you’d be way too bored in that role.”

“Hey, I would have a city contract too. Plus, it’s what I want and what I see for myself every time I look into the future. Every step I have taken up until this point puts me closer to that.”

My voice was much stronger than I thought it would be but Coco was always pushing me. Some days it was motivating and on others, it was infuriating.

“Like I said, I’m not trying to crush your dreams or your plan but is that really all you want for yourself? Especially thinking about all the good you’re already doing with your powers?” Coco questioned.

Her words plagued me for the rest of the event and bugged me when we gave our ratings of the pledges to Sydney and Lydia.

“Oh, and Y/N, don’t forget to send me that compilation with all the pledges’ socials,” Sydney requested as I was on my way out of the foyer.

“Of course, you’ll have it by the end of the day.”

Everything was much quieter underwater, except for my thoughts, but those were much clearer. Every time I thought about where I would be in five years, it was the same: smiling at a city event on the arm of some suit. I never saw the man’s face but I knew he had to be somewhat attractive. My eyes fluttered closed at the bottom of the pool and I focused on my future.

It was the same image, complete with flashing cameras and I was wearing a gorgeous rose pink Oscar de la Renta gown. My hair was piled on top of my head in Senegalese twists, and I was smiling widely. However, when I tried to look at whose arm I was on, it was like I could not turn my head. The harder I tried, the sorer the side of my neck got.

After a few more seconds of trying, I pushed myself up to the surface and sucked in the air. The sky was a mix of orange, purple, and blue. Sydney was blasting “My Head, My Heart”, which signaled that she was getting ready to go out with Eric Landon, the president of Sigma Kappa. It would be nice to be asked on a date, a proper one without the expectations of sex later.

My face warmed at the fact that I had never actually been asked out. People constantly told me how good looking I was but that did not translate into boys falling all over themselves for me. There were the occasional fun nights out but it would always end in that same venue. I didn’t think I asked for too much: flowers, good morning and good night texts, respect, intelligence, and ambition. Emma told me I watched too many movies once and while that could have been true, I also thought that it wasn’t too much to ask a guy to hold a door open.

It also did not help that Jordan was the last person I ever got close to being intimate with. I groaned at the thought and dove underwater, making my way to the other side of the pool.

An almost-kiss should mean absolutely nothing but I could not stop thinking about it, just like I could not stop thinking about how Jordan would throw me under the bus to save themselves. I would never do that to anyone, especially not someone I cared about.

But you already did, the voice in my head hissed.

Marie didn’t count, I didn’t mean to do that; Andre, Luke, Cate, and Jordan decided for me. I would have stayed if it was my choice but that didn’t matter to Marie or any of them.

I pushed myself from the side of the pool and butterfly stroked my way to the other side. Thankfully, the water was heated and soothed my aching muscles. As I was about to resurface, I noted a blurry tall blonde figure standing above me. When I pushed up, Cate stood over me, her eyes worried.

“Hey,” I greeted.

“Hi, can we talk?”

“Sure.”

A few seconds later, I was wrapped in a fluffy towel and standing across from Cate. Her eyes shifted around for a moment before she suggested we headed inside. When we got to my room, she immediately closed the door behind us.

“Is there any way someone would have listening devices in here?” Cate asked.

“No,” I said slowly.

“Are you sure? There’s shit out now where they put it in the tiniest crevices and you would never know,” Cate argued.

“I would have seen it or had a hint about it. What’s going on?”

Cate finally sat on my bed, and I opted to stand across from her. “Andre and I found some stuff that makes Luke and Brink’s deaths way more complicated.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, for one thing, they totally cleared out his room the day after he died and I mean everything.”

My eyes widened. “Even the…special drawer?”

“Yes, and at first, I thought it was protocol but what would they do with all those----”

“I get it, Cate, what else did you and Andre find?”

As Cate continued to speak, I could feel my stomach sink further and further, until I was sure it was somewhere in the house basement. Nothing Cate said meant anything positive for anyone. If there was some kind of lab under us, that meant anyone could become a part of it.

“Have you told anyone else?” I asked.

Cate huffed and leaned back on my bed. “Well, Jordan’s been spiraling about Marie and the rankings, so I can’t get a word in about anything else.”

“They’re spiraling?” I asked.

“You haven’t talked to them since Luke died?” Cate asked.

When she said it like that, it sounded like I committed a cardinal sin. After that day, there was nothing else for me to say to them. Even though I saw them in class occasionally, I never spoke to them and desperately tried to avoid eye contact.

“They could have reached out too,” I muttered.

“You’re such a younger sibling,” Cate commented.

“It’s true!” I whined.

“Well, they’ve been freaking out about the rankings since they fell down to number five and Andre’s number one.”

Being in the Top Five was like Jordan’s lifeline. They’d always shared a friendly rivalry with Luke but I knew they wanted to be number one eventually. They spent almost all their time making sure they stayed in a high position and to drop to bottom of the Top Five must have been devastating.

“Oh no,” I whispered.

“Yeah, and your new best friend cracked the Top 100 and is Jordan’s new nemesis,” Cate added.

 I walked over to my dresser and pulled out a chocolate brown loungewear set. “Neither of them are my friends.”

Cate frowned. “Seriously, what is going on with you? The other night, you and Marie were inseparable, and you and Jordan were bantering. What happened?”

It must have been the fact that I was holding all my thoughts and feelings in because I burst.

“Marie and I can’t be friends since she thinks I’m a shallow bitch who would sacrifice her to save myself because I hang out with people who do. The funny part is that Jordan admitted they would backstab me if they could get ahead, which is definitely not something I would do to a friend or anyone I almost kissed!”

I was panting by the end and my chest felt a lot lighter. However, my nerves began to build when I noticed Cate’s mischievous grin.

“Who did you almost kiss?” Cate asked.

“That’s not the point,” I mumbled.

Cate stared at me for a second before lighting up. “It was Jordan, wasn’t it?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“You hesitated which means I’m right. It could have easily been Marie though since you were all over her.”

“Why do people keep saying that? I was being nice!”

Cate held up her hands in a relaxed defense. “Chill, Y/N, it’s okay to like more than one person at once.”

“I don’t like either of them.”

“At all?” Cate quirked an eyebrow.

“No,” I pouted.

Cate looked unimpressed and I felt even more unimpressed since I knew that I liked Marie and Jordan platonically.

“Okay, we’ll save that for later but, I don’t think Jordan would tell you that they would backstab you and they would not think about it. They would do it to other people, but not you.”

“You’re just saying that because they’re your friend and you weren’t there.”

Cate cocked her head to the side. “Think, Y/N, did Jordan really say, ‘I would backstab you if it would save my ass’?”

As I recalled the memory, I slowly rocked back and forth on my heels. “They didn’t say that but, they didn’t answer me when I asked if they would.” “You probably caught them off guard,” Cate reasoned. “I’m sure if you talked to them, things would go okay.”

I hesitated and set my clothes on my bed. “Let’s say that I decided to speak to them, I don’t know what to say. Even if I did, my class tomorrow isn’t with them.

“You’re not going to the Think Brink gala tomorrow night?” Cate asked.

Earlier that day, Mom mentioned something about a gala on the phone but I was only half-listening. In my defense, there was only so much complaining about her clients and Dad that I could stand. I grabbed my phone from my nightstand and “Go to Brink gala” was in bright letters on my calendar.

“I guess I am,” I concluded.

“Then, you have some time to figure it out. You might get lucky and not even have to say anything.” I nodded and messed with the charm on my phone. “But what about Marie?”

“You’ll figure that out too. Indira’s taking her to the gala so, you can get both your ‘friends’ back,” Cate said, putting “friends” in air quotes.

“Why did you do it like that? Don’t say it like that.”

“Just because you’re in denial doesn’t mean I am. Think about it, would you be this freaked out if we had a fight?”

The “yes” should have come immediately but it didn’t; it died in my throat, and I couldn’t look at Cate. Why were things different with Marie and Jordan? Why did I stress out about them when I tried to stop thinking about them?

“Can you just make me say the right thing?” I asked.

Cate mulled it over for a moment. “I think it’s best if you do it yourself. If you don’t have a vision about it, something will come to you.”

“Thanks, Cate. If you and Andre need any help snooping----”

“You will be the first person I text,” Cate assured.

“I was going to say that I’ll probably know before you.”

I narrowly avoided the pillow Cate tossed at me and laughed at her effort.

“Maybe you are getting a little too cocky, Y/N.” She stood and walked over to me. “And for the record, I would never betray you in any way, neither would Andre or Jordan. If either of them did, they would have to deal with me.”

“Thanks, I would hug you but I’m still soaking wet.”

“Yeah, that’s smart. I know this might be useless but try not to worry about everything.”

I shrugged. “It doesn’t hurt to try.”

“You’re taking the meds from Indira?”

“Yes, Mom,” I teased.

“Just trying to help.”

Strangely, that was the first night since Luke’s death that I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. The trend was that I would strain myself to have premonitions until I was exhausted and tried again in the morning. For once, sleep found me quickly.

After sitting through a two-hour lecture on trauma’s impact on villains and heroes, I was more than happy to wander back to the Si Chi house and decompress. In a few hours, Talia, Mom’s assistant, would arrive with options for the gala. Then, the glam team would arrive and do their best to ignore Mom while they did their jobs.

I needed all the relaxation I could get.

 As I was mentally reviewing which movies I could watch, my phone kept buzzing in my back pocket. I thought it was another flurry of comments on the TikTok Coco and I made yesterday but it was from a strange number.

XXX-XXX-XXXX: Y/N, pls come 2 my dorm, it’s an emergency.

XXX-XXX-XXXX: Im srry we haven’t talked in a while but it’s important.

I frowned and typed back, ????

XXX-XXX-XXXX: It’s Marie. Emma’s in trouble.

My stomach dropped and I replied, B there soon.

As I raced around other people on campus, my thoughts moved faster at the possibility of what could have been going on with Emma. The last time I had spoken to her was two days ago and she was okay then. If anything, she may have been tense because Marie and I were not speaking but she had not said anything else.

I was halfway to their dorm when I ran into something solid.

“Watch where you’re going, Y/N,” Maverick sneered.

“If you put on some clothes, maybe I’d see you,” I shot back as I continued down the hall.

When I finally got to their dorm, I was panting and could barely knock. Marie pulled the door open, pulled me in, and closed the door behind me.

“Did you sprint here?” she asked.

I nodded. “You said…it was…an….emergency…Emma.”

In the middle of me grabbing my bearings, I noticed something tiny next to one of the supports on Emma’s bed. Slowly, I slid to my knees and crawled over to it. When I realized who it was, a choked gasp escaped my mouth.

“What happened?” I whispered.

“I don’t know. She was like that when I got here and I didn’t know what to do so I called you since you’ve known her the longest,” Marie rambled.

Her words barely registered in my brain as I went to one of Emma’s drawers, grabbed a small set of clothes, wrapped her in it, and carefully set her on her bed. Emma was barely breathing and was ghostly pale.

“Emma, I know you’re probably not going to like this but, you’re going to need to eat something.”

She didn’t reply and for a second, I wondered if she could.

I started rifling through all her stuff until I found a box of crackers. My hands trembled as I broke them into small pieces and kneeled in front of Emma. She never looked at me as she nibbled on each crumb I fed her.

Eventually, she grew back to her normal size. As soon as she was, she pulled her knees to her chest.

“I’m sorry you saw me like that,” she muttered.

Slowly, I sat next to her and it was almost the same way zookeepers treated wild animals. If one moved calmly enough, they would not get attacked. Marie sat on her bed.

“It’s okay, I’m glad we were able to help,” I replied. “What happened?”

Emma sniffed. “I opened up to this girl in my class. We’re scene partners for a project and we were talking, and I guess I felt comfortable enough to tell her about how I get small. I thought it was just between us, but she posted this…this video on YouTube telling the whole world about it.”

“Who’s the girl?” Marie asked.

“How do you get small?” I uttered at the same time.

Emma froze for a moment and looked away from me. “I make myself…sick.”

When she said it, I suddenly remembered all those times she would go to the bathroom and then come out a miniature version of herself. However, all those times, it was for different commercials or other work-related events. Then again, there had to be times when she did it at home or at my house.

How did I never notice? “Emma, I’m so sorry. I wish you would’ve told me sooner,” I said.

Emma turned to me with a glare in her eyes. “Really? How would I work that into a conversation? ‘Hey, Y/N, I’m sorry to interrupt but, I make myself throw up to get small’?”.

“We’re friends, friends tell each other this kind of thing,” I insisted.

Emma scoffed. “Please, like you would get it if I told you. You’re perfect, you always have been. Your face, your hair, your body, your eyes, your life!”

“That’s not fair.”

“Emma, I think you need to get help,” Marie interrupted.

Emma’s gaze flickered to hers and I thought she might set Marie on fire. “I need to get help, that’s rich coming from you. You act like no one can see your scars.”

Marie flinched and her eyes narrowed slightly. “I do that for my powers, that’s different.”

Emma laughed callously. “Please, at least be honest. How about this: I’ll go to therapy when you admit to cutting.”

Emma’s voice had no tone and every word she said was like a hammer slamming into my chest. She wasn’t in the right headspace for any conversation and I kept reminding myself as I stood.

“We should talk later when we’ve all calmed down,” I suggested.

“I don’t want to speak to either of you again,” she hissed.

It took more effort than usual to swallow the lump in my throat as I let myself out of their dorm. Just as I was about to lean against the door and wallow, Marie slipped out behind me and shut the door. I took a step back, barely avoiding a pair of girls rushing past.

“Sorry,” she apologized.

“It’s fine.”

Silence filled the space for a moment, and I had no idea how to fill it. Cate said I would know what to say but I was at a loss.

“I’m sorry about what I said…that day,” Marie delivered gently.

My eyes snapped up at her. “Oh.”

She sighed. “I was just angry, and I thought you were a part of it but, Emma kept saying that you would never do something like that. I just didn’t know how to reach out or say anything.”

I know the feeling.

“I accept your apology but I’m also sorry that no one came back for you. I guess it worked out, though?”

Marie sighed and leaned against her door. “Sort of. The perks are nice and I’m in crim now but I feel like everyone’s looking at me and expects something from me; almost like they’re waiting for me to fail.”

“Really? They had me convinced you’d be the black Starlight,” I teased.

Marie laughed half-heartedly. “I still want to be a hero, though, someone like her people can look up to.”

“Anyone in particular?”

Marie hesitated. “My little sister. We were both obsessed with heroes when we were younger, but I was the one who got Compound V. She always looked up to me and I want to be someone who would make her proud.”

“That’s a really admirable goal,” I complimented.

She smiled softly. “What about you? Shouldn’t you be my competition to be the black Starlight?”

My expression faltered and I looked down at my French acrylics. “No, I don’t think I have the showmanship you do. Besides, my goal isn’t to be in the Seven.”

“Really? What do you want to do?” Marie asked.

“So, I have this four year plan and if I follow the steps I am on to a T, I will graduate with a city contract and be engaged to an eligible supe.”

Usually, when I told someone my four year plan, my chest swelled and my shoulders rolled back unconsciously. This time, it felt like I was a toddler showing my mom a drawing I made in school.

“Is that it?” Marie asked.

“I know it’s more traditional and maybe even a little lame but, it’s what I want,” I maintained.

Marie nodded slowly.

“What is it?”

“Nothing, I just imagined you doing something in, like, criminal AI or stopping criminals from re-offending.”

“Both are great, they’re just not me.”

“Which is fine,” Marie insisted.

She sounded a little too eager but I let it go as we started walking down the hallway.

“What should we do about Emma?” Marie asked.

“I’ve never seen her like that before but she’ll need time to cool off.”

“Sounds good, I just have nowhere to go until the gala tonight.”

“You could come to Si Chi for a bit. I can’t promise they won’t try to initiate you, though.”

Marie laughed. “Me, in a sorority?”

“Hey, we’re getting more black girls this year so you never know!”

“Whatever but, yeah, I’d like to hang out with you…at your house.”

Even though Marie rushed the last part, a smile quirked on the corners of my mouth. It would be nice to have a new friend over and it was even nicer that there was no more tension between us.

“You know, Emma never told us the name of that girl,” Marie pondered once we got outside.

“Oh, that’s easy.” I grabbed my phone and scrolled through my contacts until I reached the right one.

Shelby answered on the first ring. “Y/N, hi!” “Hey, are you on your way to class?” I asked.

“Yeah, if I’m late one more time, Professor Elix is going to make me do an improv one-woman show!” she panted.

“Well, I don’t want to slow you down but, you have class with Emma Meyer, right?”

“Oh yeah, Intro to Stage, why?”

“Cool. She told me her stage partner has an incredible Insta aesthetic, but she never told me her name and I need new inspo.”

“Oh, that’s Justine. I don’t know her last name but I’m sure you’ll find her.”

“Thanks, Shelby. Have fun in class.”

“Thanks!”

I hung up and turned to Marie, whose eyebrows were raised. “What?”

“What was that voice?” Marie asked.

“It was my voice. Haven’t you heard of code-switching?”

“Fine. Did you get the name?”

“Yes, Justine and I’ve met her.”

“What? How?”

“She’s rushing Si Chi.” I couldn’t keep the devilish smile from working its way into my mouth.

“What does that look mean?” Marie asked.

“It means that there are many more perks to being in a top house besides living in it.”

For some reason, everyone thinks that white girls have a monopoly on passive aggression and relational aggression. That was not the case at all; black girls simply are more inclined towards active aggression but we’re capable of both. I proved as much during Brink’s gala.

The ballroom was packed with board members, trustees, alumni, and the wealthiest GOD U students, the latter being my target of interest. They were all easy to approach since I had met them at some function or another.

“Y/N,” Bianca Peterson gushed as she hugged me.

Her Gucci Guilty perfume tickled my nose and I willed myself not to sneeze as I politely pulled away from her. “Bianca, it’s been too long. I think the last time I saw you was at Beta Ro’s Brunch for Boy Scouts.”

Bianca nodded, light auburn curls bouncing around her sculpted features. “Yes, we bonded over jewelry.”

“And you still have fantastic taste,” I mentioned, gesturing to the gold buckle around her wrist.

“Thank you, it was a present from Theo but I gave him a few hints,” she bragged lightly.

“How is rush going?” I asked.

“Pretty well, our pledges are shaping up nicely this year, not that they don’t every year,” she quickly added the last part.

“Of course. Do you have a lot of girls from Counting?”

“We’re interested in a couple, why? Are you trying to poach?”

I shook my head. “Not at all, I just wasn’t sure if you heard what Layla from Zeta Nu discovered.”

Bianca raised a microbladed brow. “No, I don’t think I have.”

I took a deep inhale and slowly shook my head in disbelief. “Oh, well, I should let it come from her then.”

A moment later, Bianca glanced across the room at Layla Ruthers, the president of Zeta Nu, who was smiling politely at a pair of hunched-over old men.

“In case I don’t have a chance to talk to her, what happened?” Bianca asked.

I glanced around us for a moment before leaning closer. “Apparently, a freshman posted a video about another girl’s eating disorder.”

“Really?” Bianca’s eyes widened.

I nodded. “Layla was insulted for the other girl and banned the pledge from rushing Zeta Nu. She even said that no respectable house would accept someone so low-class.”

“Oh,” Bianca uttered.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to take up all your time. I should go mingle.”

I made it about two steps before Bianca gently grabbed one of my arms.

“Wait, Y/N. Did Layla say the name of the pledge?”

My eyes wandered around the twinkling lights of the room for a second. “Justine something, I think.”

“Thank you. I’ll see you later.”

“Sure!”

The rest of my conversations followed that pattern. Each girl I spoke to was shocked and horrified by my words. Plus, none of them would dare speak to the other; that would mean another house had better information than them. My final target was easily the most important one: Sydney.

In her ice-blue mermaid dress and intricate updo, she looked more like Cinderella than a gala attendee. She was standing at a table, nodding her head at something a shorter guy was saying.

“Excuse me,” I politely interrupted, “I need to borrow Sydney for a second.”

The guy deflated slightly. “Sure.”

“I’ll see you soon.” Sydney huffed a sigh of relief as soon as we were out of earshot. “Thank you, I don’t know what he was even talking about.”

“Anytime,” I replied.

She snatched a champagne flute from a passing server and downed half of it. “I can’t wait for this night to be over.”

I nodded. “It is morbid despite their attempt to dress it up.”

“Yeah, and my parents won’t stop bugging me about my future. I can only apply to so many internships and not everyone is looking for a telekinetic,” she griped. “Sorry, how are you?”

“I’m alright. Ironically, I think he’d hate the name they picked but I didn’t know him super well,” I admitted.

“Right.”

Here it goes.

“So, I think the event the other day was a success,” I commented.

“Definitely. The house was packed. It’s too bad we can’t accept them all.”

Sydney smiled as she spoke.

“I know. It’s great that there’s so much interest.” I paused for a second. “But, I wanted to tell you that something came up with one of the pledges.”

Sydney gestured for me to continue.

“Even though my social media deep dive on the pledges was thorough, something came up today that I thought you should know when considering the pledges,” I explained.

“Okay.”

“Today, Justine posted a video exposing another girl’s eating disorder. Several of the girls were upset when they saw it.”

“That’s awful,” Sydney responded.

“It’s also so disappointing since I met Justine during that event, and she was saying how women empowerment is important to her. I know that women empowerment is a huge passion for you and a foundation for Si Chi and to imagine a pledge so willing to tear down another woman infiltrating the safe space you building is horrifying.”

Despite the liquor, I could tell Sydney was processing my words quicker than any computer. Her expression shifted from shock to anger to coldness. Then, she finished the last of her champagne and set it on the table closest to us. “Thank you for telling me, Y/N. I’ll see you later.”

As she walked away, I grinned widely at the response. Bid Day was going to be even more fun and interesting than last year. To celebrate, I grabbed myself a flute of champagne and sipped it as I started to wander the room.

“Y/N!”

My body froze at the masculine voice and my mind raced with what to say or do. Finally, I decided to face Jordan. They were in their masculine form and standing at a table by themselves. Though they looked fantastic in their navy suit, they looked like they hadn’t slept in days.

“Hello.”

I practically sang it and prayed for someone to make the floor swallow me.

“Can we talk?” he asked.

“Um, sure.” I walked closer to their table and rested my forearms on it.

 “It’s good to see you,” he started. “Outside of class, I mean.”

“You too.”

Jordan nodded and rubbed the back of his neck. “That’s good.” He paused. “I’m sorry about everything.”

I looked up from tapping my nails on the tablecloth. “Wh---”

“Please, let me finish. That day…I don’t know why I didn’t just tell you that I wouldn’t throw you under the bus but I wouldn’t even think about it. How could I do that to my little freshman?”

For the first time ever, my chest warmed at the nickname. However, I tried to bite back the smile that was worming its way onto my face.

I glanced away for a moment, crossing my arms over my purple sleeveless satin gown. “Well, I guess I forgive you,” I playfully grumbled before turning back to him. “But you still did it pretty easily to Marie.”

Jordan’s expression faltered and he sipped some champagne. “Don’t mention her.”

“Why not? She’s my friend and we did a very mean thing,” I argued.

“Look, I protected myself and you that night, I won’t apologize for that. Besides, she’s still here and she’s doing great,” he spat.

“I know you’re pissed about the rankings but, those can change, especially with how hard you work and how powerful you are.”

Jordan scoffed. “That’s how it should work but no one wants to back a bigender Asian.”

His words made me stop for a second. In all the time I knew them, Jordan seemed invincible to punches, laser beams, electric shocks, and words. They made succeeding at Godolkin look so easy but it must have been anything but. Plus, Luke and Brink’s death must have impacted everything else.

“We’ll see about that,” I challenged. “There’s about thirty trustees and every board member in this room. There will have to be a few who will like you.”

Jordan hesitated. “I’m not really in the mood to promote myself.”

“Then let me talk,” I offered.

He eyed me for a while before crossing over to my side of the table and looping one of his arms with mine. “Don’t make me look bad, freshie.”

“I think that’s impossible.”

The first target was easy: a thirtysomething white guy with floppy light brown hair and an oversized gray suit. I focused on him for a moment, gathering as much information as I could.

“Trevor Emerson, GOD U alum and old money beneficiary,” I muttered to Jordan.

“Isn’t he supposed to hate me?” Jordan hissed back.

“He’s overcome by white guilt since his recent discovery that all the black and brown people who built and managed his family’s manor were not salaried employees,” I explained. “He’s dying to look as much of an ally as possible.”

Jordan straightened up. “Good job, freshie.”

“I haven’t even gotten started.” I painted a polite smile on my face. “Mr. Emerson, it’s so nice to meet you, can we bother you for a moment?”

Two guilty and three haughty donors later, Jordan and I found ourselves at a different table. It was the first time that I saw him smile that night.

“You were amazing out there,” Jordan exclaimed.

“Thank you but you also made my job a little easier being talented and whatever,” I joked.

“Seriously.” Jordan grabbed my hand. “You might have saved my ass.”

I tried to ignore the tingle that shot up from my hand into the side of my neck. “It’s okay, I’m happy to help.”

When they announced that the video was about to start Jordan sulked again. “I can’t believe they’re making us sit through this shit.”

“Me neither.” I rest my hand on top of his. “I’m sorry I didn’t ask sooner but, are you okay?”

Jordan laughed humorlessly. “No but schmoozing with you did help a little. I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah.”

When we parted our separate ways, I wiped my sweaty palms on my dress skirt and approached my table. Fortunately, Mom and Dad had not burned down the ballroom with their arguing. In fact, when I got to their table, Mom was on her phone and Dad was rhythmically tapping his fingers against the tablecloth, looking anywhere but her.

“Hi, were you bored with me gone?” I asked, giving Dad a side hug.

“Not at all. I met a few board members and sold a few pictures,” he responded.

I nodded and slowly took the middle seat between them. The video was equal parts patronizing and infuriating. However, my parents’ whispers kept me from focusing too much on the video.

“Y/M/N, can you get off the phone for one second? They’re playing the video,” Dad hissed.

“I am about to cut the biggest deal of this quarter. They can send it,” Mom hissed back, waving a manicured hand for emphasis.

“Mom, people are starting to stare,” I quietly interjected.

“Let them stare. This is what’s paying for you to be here.”

“Don’t act like I don’t contribute!” Their words used to make me flinch but I forced myself to sit up straighter and breathe.

“I’m grateful for it, for both of you, really. You both paid to be here and I thought you would not want to miss the man they’re honoring,” I whispered.

Those words made Mom slowly mutter something into the phone before placing it face down on the table and leaning forward. At that same time, they flashed a picture of Brink and me across the screen. He had been meeting with my small group when the photographer appeared.

Dad squeezed an arm around my shoulder and I softly leaned into his touch.

“Thank God you lost that baby fat,” Mom commented.

“Y/M/N,” Dad said quietly.

“You know it’s true, Y/D/N,” Mom hissed back.

Suddenly, Dad’s arm felt like a boa constrictor, and I gracefully slipped out of its grasp. When the video ended, I drank a fresh flute of champagne. The bubbles instantly went to my head as I giggled at Dean Shetty introducing Marie.

She looked really pretty even though she was nervous.

“Do you know her?” Mom asked over the applause.

“We’re friends,” I replied.

“So why is she a guardian and not you?”

“She was more involved in stopping Luke than me,” I lied.

 When Dean Shetty cued everyone to return to socializing, Mom turned to me.

“Your grades are fantastic and your standing in your house is good,” Mom began. “But eligible bachelors will not notice you unless you stand out like her.”

“Y/M/N, leave her alone. Anyone who doesn’t notice Y/N isn’t worthy of being in our family anyway,” Dad defended.

Mom ignored him. “That girl, Marie Moreau, is not your friend, she is your competition. You are in the prime setting to have everything you’ve ever wanted but she could snatch it from you. You’re supposed to be able to see things like this coming, Y/N.”

“I do see things coming and I know Marie wouldn’t do that to me,” I quipped.

At that moment, Mom’s eyes bore so deep into me that I didn’t think that anyone could claw them out. Her eyes looked like they were going to bug out of her head at any moment and I could feel my breathing pick up.

“I’m sorry, it just slipped out,” I promised.

It felt like forever until she leaned back in her seat and grabbed her phone.

“Make sure it doesn’t ‘slip out’ again. Now go socialize.”

“I need a minute, Mom, I’ve been socializing since we got here.”

Mom rolled her eyes. “This again.”

“What?”

“Y/M/N, please.”

“No, no, Y/D/N, she is constantly using, what, anxiety to get out of speaking to people. You are always too soft on her and make me look like the bad guy. I’m the one helping her be normal,” Mom snapped. “Anxiety didn’t exist when we were her age, we just did what we had to do, and look where we are now.”

I wondered if Emma ever felt as small as I did in that moment. Then, I wondered if she ever made herself small to hide from people, even her mom. Wordlessly, I left the table and tried to avoid any cameras as the tears burned in the corners of my eyes.

I tried to take deep breaths to calm my trembling chest and keep my throat busy. My chest shifted from trembling to heavy and I started looking around the room.

“I hear one piano…feel two fingers…smell three different alcohols…and see---”

“Y/N, are you okay?” Cate’s voice broke me out of my rhythm and I glanced to see her sitting with Marie and Jordan, who was in their feminine form.

My chest felt much lighter and I quickly wiped away my tears. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Bullshit,” Jordan called gently.

Cate pulled me into a hug and had me sit between her and Marie. “What happened?”

“My parents, well, my mom mostly. I guess I got too anxious for her, and she yelled at me,” I rambled.

Cate smiled softly. “Then you came at the perfect time. We were just talking about our horrible parents.”

My ears perked up. “Really?”

“Well, mine are dead,” Marie commented.

I turned to her and placed my hands on top of hers. “What? I’m so sorry. How did it…”

“I accidentally killed them with my powers,” Marie explained.

“That must have been horrible.”

Marie barely nodded and I squeezed her hands. “I just told my little brother to go away during a camping trip. He never came back and my mom pretty much locked me away,” Cate confessed. “I was seven.”

 “What?” I whispered.

“I killed my grandpa with my powers,” Jordan interjected.

We all turned to her and I cocked my head to the side.

“No, you didn’t,” Cate countered.

Jordan smiled. “You’re right, I was feeling left out.”

I didn’t think that I could laugh the way I did but it felt so nice. At least I had friends again.

When I started sipping on the whiskey Cate stole, I saw a brief image flash before my eyes. There was a guy with curly brown hair covered in dirt running away from several bloody bodies. He paused for a moment and opened his hand, revealing a tiny sleeping Emma. When the vision left, Andre was standing in front of us.

“Seriously?” I complained before he even spoke.

#black!reader #jordan li x reader #gen v x reader #limoreau x reader #marie moreau x reader

[theonlylittlegoose]

Just a fic idea I had, but since I cant wrote for shit, I had to settle for drawing it.

(NOBODY COME FOR MY BACKGROUND I CANT DRAW THEM!! I DRAW PEOPLE NOT OBJECTS!!!)

Info:

Set in Russia, Emma Lebedeva is a ballet student at Bolshoi Academy, one of the most prestigious schools in Russia. Her mother and dance instructor Maria Margarita Lebedeva, goes on maternity leave, leaving Regina Melnikova to take over and teach the class for an upcoming show. Emma has no idea about the history her mother and Regina have, so when Regina starts picking on her in class every chance she gets. Months go by, and each insult hurled at her gnaws at her confidence until one day, fed up of hearing “poor posture must run in the family” and “your mother must want you to fail if thats how she taught you to point you feet”, Emma decides to get to the bottom of it.

One day after class she decides to confront her teacher. Scared as she might be of Regina, Emma needed to know why Regina hated her so much. So she asks her. At first, Regina is silent, reluctant to tell Emma the truth, but Emma keeps pushing, determined to get an answer to hopefully fix their relationship that was tainted from the start.

Finally, after enough badgering, Regina tells Emma about how she (regina) and her (emma) mother went to school here. They were the top students in the school which meant they were always going up against one another to prove which one of them was the best, and when Regina is replaced by Maria for an HUGE upcoming performance because Regina looked “too mean” for the part, Regina is livid. She saw herself as way more qualified for the role, as she had thought numerous times before when Maria Margarita was picked over her, but according to their teacher, theres more to a performance than just perfect technique. Regina strongly disagrees and what was once friendly competition between teammates, became a lifelong (one sided) rivalry.

While Emma understood the tension between the two older women giving the competitive nature of the school, she couldn’t understand what that had to do with her. So, she asks Regina just that. Thats when her teacher tells her that “perhaps her judgement had been clouded with her distaste for her annoying mother.”

Regina doesn’t know why she says what she says next, perhaps it was the slight chuckle and nod that escaped Emma when Regina mentioned her mother being annoying, or maybe it was the soft expression that followed but Regina tells Emma, “ You are perhaps the strongest dancer in the class, and maybe even the whole school. I see what you are capable of, unlike your mother, who chose much less qualified dancers to be the leads for the sake of fairness, which doesnt exist in dance. Because of this, I fear you arent taking these classes as seriously. I push you because I know what you are capable of. You have real talent.”

This moment changes everything between the two of them. While Regina is still tough on Emma, the blonde now sees it as encouragement. She begins to stay behind after class, asking for tips. The two women start to get closer. And when Regina offers Emma private classes for the upcoming performance, the older woman finds herself developing a soft spot for the dancer, who she discovers is goofy and surprising good company.

One day, after a particularly grueling session that went well into the night, the two were the only ones left in the building. Emma is too exhausted to drive 45 minutes across town to her mothers, she tells Regina she will just sleep in car and wake up early and get cleaned up at the academy.

Regina doesnt know why, but she offers to let the blonde sleep at her apartment since she lived in a close proximity to the school. Emma eagerly accepts, excited that she didnt have to sleep in uncomfortable bug, and at the prospect of a warm shower, but after they arrive and Emma showers, she somehow finds herself no longer tired and seeks out the brunettes company.

They begin to talk, really talk, and the two women learn things about each other. Like how completely insane Reginas mother Cora was, and why being the lead meant so much to Regina, because her mother, who already treated her awfully, would be even worse if she lost to Maria. Or how Emma felt like she could never live up to her mothers legacy, especially when her mother refused to challenge her. Emma felt like she wasnt able to show her true potential since her mother wanted everyone to have a chance (which started to make sense to Emma as to why her mother did that now knowing about her and Regina) so she stopped trying.

This night would become one of the many Emma spent at Reginas, and with both women dealing with their own inner turmoil, neither women recognize that they are developing feelings for one another. They both just think that they found someone who understands what theyre going through, and that thats all it is. Nothing more. Just two lonely people finding solace in one another.

That is until the show creeps closer and the stress begins to get them. One night, after a long session, Emma decides they need to unwind, and is determined to help Regina relax. So, she proposes a movie night at Reginas. Emma picks one of her favorite romantic comedys, which her teacher had never seen. (WE ALL KNOW REGINA!!!)

It starts off innocent, with the two of them (INOCCENTLY) cuddled up on the couch. But somewhere along the way Emma nods off, and cuddles deeper into Regina, who is startled at the contact but decides to let the woman sleep and finishes the movie alone, where she begins to find herself liking the contact, and eventually lets herself melt into it. But what really startles Regina, is when a sleepy Emma stirs, looks up at her with her tired eyes, and mumbles “I think I like you, like a lot” before tightening her grip on Regina and falling back to sleep like she hadn’t just said that. When Regina is sure the blonde is back to sleep, she whispers “I think I like you too.”

But the blonde wasn’t. Emma pulls away and looks up at her.

“Wait, really?”

AND THATS ALLLLLLLL I HAVE FOR THE IDEA!! obviously the picture i drew is before the two women got closer but thats everything unsaid. If i could write this would be wayyyyyy better!!!! And I have zero knowledge of ballet aside from watching Dance Academy as a kid, and BASICALLY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT RUSSIA AND BOLSHOI aside from what my lovely russian friend told me and the limited research i did on the Academy for the picture.

#digital art #emma swan #fanart #once upon a time #ouat #regina mills #swanqueen fanart #emma x regina #swan queen #ouat fanart #onceuponatime #sheriff swan #sheriff x mayor #regina mills evil queen #mayormills #mayor mills #fic ideas #ballet au

[clatoera]

Disillusion of Reproductive Choice and Autonomy in Panem

Alright Besties. I posted about this the other day, and got a response that people actually wanted to read my  opinions on the matter. I want to preface with a few things. In my actual life I am an advocate for Reproductive Healthcare and accessibility. I have marched and attended protests. I have written testimonials to my states legislature (in Florida when I lived there, specifically). I have participated in training and am exceptionally passionate about this. This is quite literally my career, I have chosen a field that will explicitly let me help women access reproductive health services and maintain their autonomy and freedom.  That being said, this does talk about Abortion access and the the weaponization of pregnancy in both a fictional sense and comparison to the real world we live in. This gets political. Full warning. If that is not something you want to see, this is not something you want to read. Otherwise, thank you for sticking around.  Probs gonna get cancelled. Alright. Lets begin.

  One of the very first things we see in THG film is Katniss and Gale having a conversation in which Katniss says she does not want to have kids. This comes up a lot when discussing the epilogue and people thinking it was OOC (Which, I disagree). Katniss makes it blatantly obvious that the reason she doesn’t want them is the society she lives in, not because she dislikes kids. She raised her sister, she likely has very good maternal instinct. The concept of “choosing” to have children in Panem has intrigued me, because of the role of children in their society. I do not think people are given actual, educated choice in the decision. Nor, do I think they are given the tools or the access to the tools to actually carry out making that decision on their own terms. Why do I believe that? Because the capitol NEEDS people to have children in order for the system to work, for the games to happen, and to keep the districts under their thumb. If people had the ability to ensure they do not reproduce, I do think the capitol would have a problem, that comes from losing replacement in their resource, but also from losing their pool of tributes. There is a reason they want kids in these games.

Lets start with the multi-tiered class system that exists throughout Panem but also individual districts. We see in families in the Seam, like the Hawthornes, as well as the families in District 11 (Rue’s family specifically), with 4+ children. These are not families with the financial means to support large numbers of children.  Comparing directly, Peeta also has multiple siblings, but is from a financial background that allows them to be more food secure. District 11 and 12 are the best example, of families with more children than they could possibly care for with the meager salaries provided by the capitol (Which, is intentional on their part). What does this do? This ensures children from less well off families and less well off districts end up participating in Tesserae. This is a horrible, manipulative way to have kids essentially lining up for the reaping, just to survive and put food on the table. In addition, these people who are from working classes and who do hard physical labor, they have to have children to replace their labor forces. More children means more hands to go to the mines or the fields, More children means that if the head of house dies (think mine explosion),  then theres someone to put in their place plus some spares at home.  It begs the question though. These families, who cannot afford to feed the children they have, why would they continue to make the decision to have more kids when theres reliable contraceptive options ( I operate on this assumption for multiple reasons, considering the technology of the capitol as well as other districts which I will get into)? I do not believe the people of the districts are educated on birth control, nor do I think they are given ACCESS to it. The Capitol is not coming by monthly to give prescriptions for medications or giving Long Acting Reversible Contraceptives (LARCs). They are not giving out information on how to prevent pregnancy, and they surely are not helping those in less loyal districts access termination, either. Why? Because it does not suit them to do so. By giving people that choice, they would be giving too much power into the hands of the people. Why help them stop producing your future workforce? Why help them stop having kids they know will be slaughtered in the games? No. They will ensure the workforce grows. They will trap people in desperation so they MUST continue to work to feed their children and keep them alive. They will Keep sending tributes to die. 

Reproductive autonomy is paramount to escape poverty. Choosing when and if to have children is one of the most important aspects in society that allows people to overcome systemic barriers and break cycles. There are statistics on the likelihood of a child of a teen parent to become one themselves, and they are far higher than the general population.  I am not even addressing gender aspect of this, and how it further drives a patriarchal society. I am only even talking about the class system of Panem. States that currently have the strictest regulations on abortion and contraceptive access tend not to bode well in terms of childhood outcomes. Think Education level, poverty. Lack of reproductive choice is a systemic barrier to maintain oppression and trap people in poverty. That is very much what I believe to be the situation in Panem. I do not think people are given the choice to prevent pregnancy. I do not think they are given the tools. And I do not think they are given the option to NOT carry a pregnancy. It would directly be a disservice to the capitol goals of submission to allow that. That being said, I do think the people of the districts have their ways. Counting days, cycle tracking, plants, teas..they have their ways. I also don’t think it can go without saying, that the people of 12 and 11 and so on do not have the extra money to spend on contraceptives. When a box of condoms probably would cost more than a loaf of bread..what do you think the choice would be to a hungry mother with 3 kids back home to feed?

I think the situation is very different in wealthier districts, namely 1 and 2. We do not hear Katniss ever talk about seeing large families in 1 or 2 on the tour. We aren’t hearing of Glimmer having 4-5 sisters. We don’t hear of Cato being the oldest son to a family of 6. While the capitol NEEDS 1 and 2 to continue to have children, I think they give them far more choice in the matter. Why? 1. The career training ensures people aren’t just sending random kids to die. People would feel more confident in having kids, with the expectation there will always be a volunteer. Also as heavy volunteer districts, maybe people want to have children to try to bring some of that glory home. We don’t hear of 1 or 2 sending children to work young. The people in one and two have way more financial stability, too. Katniss describes the careers as being so much bigger than her. They were never hungry. They were trained warriors, with food on the table. I would be SHOCKED actually, if it were not quite the opposite, in terms of education. The families are smaller. they’re better off. I think they are taught about reproductive decisions. I think, at the VERY least, they have access to birth control methods. These districts still need to produce future victors and peace keepers and luxury artists. Yet, they can do it at their own pace in their own time. They are treated well enough by the capitol that they probably want to have kids, especially knowing they could TRAIN them to be victors (Or be sure someone will volunteer). if it is not necessarily “promoted” I believe any one in the tribute training program could get access to birth control if they wanted it. Those girls can probably get a prescription to the pill, hell, they can probably all get a progesterone injection or an IUD or an implant in the arm that can stop them from getting periods at all (These exist currently). They can ensure those girls never are at risk of being pregnant the arena. And I think they do. I think that is part of being a capitol favorite. Getting to make the decision if and when and how many children they have. They aren’t at risk of shutting off the factories or running out of tributes.  These districts get education and probably access to these items. However. They think it is their choice, but ultimately, the capitol does have control here. They make them feel safe, they make them feel secure. They can manipulate people into making that “choice” by giving them a false sense of security and safety in their wealthier districts. This isnt even discussing the possibilty of the capitol mass sabotaging birth control and only giving placebos or something. 

This goes into the outcry over Katniss being “pregnant” in the quell. I do not for a second believe there has never been a pregnant girl in the games. It’s been going on for 75 years, and more than once I am sure it has happened. I very recently wrote a line in my AU in which Enobaria says “do not create your own competition, do not take tribute #25 in with you.” Thats my own line so of course it’s biased to support this idea. I don’t think it was a reason to stall the games because ultimately... these theoretical fetuses would become theoretical tribute fodder anyway. Why would they care to stop the games over that? Because it Katniss and Peeta and a highly publicized relationship, thats the only reason there was ever even a facade of pretending to consider stopping the games. That was never going to happen, and even someone had gone in before, pregnant, it’s just a target on her back. The public outcry and outrage over the idea of a pregnant girl is a completely different story. It is absolutely political commentary that these citizens watch 23 kids a year die but god forbid a fetus or “a baby” go into the arena. This is what happens here, too. Children are dying in record numbers to gun violence, including being the number one cause of death in adolescents and teens. . 1 in 6 children live in extreme poverty. The #3 cause of death in children Is homicide. #1 is accidents an 2 is cancer. In 2018, 30 MILLION CHILDREN relied on school lunch as their only meal a day. These issues are real affecting real children every single day. You do not see large, mass scale effort to change these things. There is no legislation to ensure that all children have free lunch at school. People actively were working to rescind CHIP (children health insurance program), when, as I mentioned, childhood cancer is the #2 cause of death in young children. Also, kids should have health insurance anyway but thats also not the point. There is NO Mass movements to fix these things in society that is actively harming children. Living, breathing children. Children who have names and families and friends and hopes and dreams. There is no shortage, however, on legislation targeted at limiting abortion access. There is even legislation in some states targeting SPECIFIC types of contraceptives (think copper IUDs).  The outcry over Katniss and Peeta’s potential fetus is a DIRECT parallel to the outcry of people who are  “protecting the sanctity of life” and “standing for the unborn/voiceless/whatever.” There is NO Outrage over 12 year old rue being reaped for the games from the capitol. There is no outcry that Katniss and Peeta have physical wounds, traumas they will never heal from. The children in the districts are not seen as human children worth saving. However the symbol/theory/potential of a fetus is enough for outcry. That is intentional. That is real life. 

Ultimately, I think people in Panem have children young. The victors, those who never go into the games probably have children early, because it’s either just part of what you do as a victor to carry on the glory, or because you literally have no other choice and this is the hand you were dealt. I think the capitol, the elite, can access anything they want. Any pill, any procedure. I do not think any law or regulation over the districts applies to them, just like the elite in the United States. Sure, outlaw abortion, but when the rich need one they can fly out of the country. The elite in the capitol do not have any issue getting what they need or want, but they surely can take a moral high horse when it comes to what they see as life and what they see as life worth protecting and life worth value. Katniss CHOSES to have children, 15 years after the game. And yes, It is beautiful that she felt the world was safe enough to do so. However, she is a girl from district 12, who likely would have been forced to have children by the capitol just so they could be reaped in some poetic fashion. I think it’s beautiful that the world was safe for her to make that decision. I think it is even more beautiful that she had the choice. 

Told y’all it was an essay. 

#the hunger games #THG #Panem #analysis about panem #opinions #I am a reproductive health advocate in my actual life #reproductive health discussions #discussions of contraceptives #human body info #Im probably going to get cancelled for this.

[allyriadayne]

yeah i don't get the whole daemon is a valyrian supremacist thing?

and from another anon:

Yeah why is Daemon the only one who gets called a Valyrian supremacist?

i posted this question to my twitter mutuals some time ago and got one answer that actually made so much sense when you really think about the issue. it goes something like this (sorry couldn't find the og tweet 😩): most people think of valyrian supremacy/blood purism with a harry potter background and the pureblood ideology when it's a completely different thing that doesn't actually happen in the show or books at all. and everything clicked!!

going back to daemon, show!daemon to be more specific, he does show a preference for reading the histories and knowing the language of old valyria but i wouldn't call it him being a supremacist (very weighty!) or feeling a specific superiority about it that it's not already tied to him being a prince and one of the highest ranking man in the realm. i think what most people forget about this is that targaryens are one of the last scions of a dead culture (well you'll never call a culture dead, only transformed because a part of it will always live in its people etc. but for clarity's sake. i know we are not here for an anthropology class) and to me it's normal that its member would want to preserve it in a way. viserys has his big lego model and the others have the language and their dragons as a way to connect with what it once was. i wouldn't call that a cultural superiority at all esp when daemon or any targaryen try to exterminate or oppress that which is not valyrian (again, very weighty terms! and i wish people would have more care when talking about these issues).

most of the examples i've seen about people calling daemon a purist come from 1) daemon sleeping with silver haired women 2) criticizing alicent's new decor 3) marrying laena/hating rhea 4) speaking old valyrian. which really doesn't cut it for me?? most can be explained by daemon being a hater in general. we know he hates otto and the hightowers because he's always thought they've kept viserys and him apart and therefore made viserys weak. he /would/ had a comment about alicent changing the decor and covering the dragon orgy murals. the silver haired women well, he's still the creepy uncle, we've known he's been fixated on rhaenyra for a while and it's probably also a manifestation of being cast out of the family since he was 16, an illusion of being close to his family. same thing with rhea, he doesn't hate her because she's not valyrian, i thought that was pretty obvious.

lyonel strong is the one who advises viserys to marry laena velaryon because she is of "pure valyrian stock", would you call him a blood purist? i mean there is also the issue that most men in westeros are very proud of their heritage and i wouldn't put daemon above them at all, he's squarely in the middle. would you call the northerners blood purists because most marry in the same area with descendants of the first men and don't care about southerners? i've always thought daemon marries laena in the show because she's one of the few people who could understand him and after spending almost 20 years with a wife who hated him and he hated in return, he wanted someone more compatible and who could share his hobbies (and of course, she grabbed his attention at the wedding and the storyline about the sea lord of braavos' son was someone laena wanted to get rid off too + rhaenyra marrying and him needing to forget her fast).

what i'm trying to say is that i understand there is a sort of need to keep the line "pure" but it is to keep the dragons inside the family and i wouldn't even call it purism because targs are marrying half targs like jocelyn baratheon, aemma arryn etc, at least in this side of the dance. on the other side, after it, it's another different issue altogether where targs start practicing exogamy more often. but i don't think daemon is more or less proud than other people in the same timeline even.

#ask #Anonymous #daemon targaryen #aemond is the one who says out loud he would keep their line pure if he married helaena and he isn't called a valyrian supremacist ???? #and i would argue aemond wants to be even more targaryen than normal #i think people in their effort to dismiss and hate on the targaryen (hey valid) they buy into the blood supremacy thing only to dismiss it #because wahhh they are actually racist i don't know how you like them. but like YOU 🫵 are the one believing it because your #whole argument to hate on them is based on that #idk i just wrote this on the fly

[rad4learning]

My feminist-related reading progress

My thoughts on different texts I've read

Most recent: The Dialectic of Sex

For all of these I'm not going to point out everything wrong or that I disagree with in them; I assume you'll be reading critically, taking value and discarding other stuff. I'm writing these from memory of my impressions and key points. I may get things wrong - please feel free to lmk if I do :) The Dialectic of Sex: - I really wanted to really like this, my expectations were very high so that may well be part of why I feel underwhelmed by it - I think it is worth reading - although I expect other readers to also object to components of it - even if for no other reason than to interrogate her assertions about the requirements for womens' liberation - Straight after this I read women race & class which briefly criticises this text for perpetuating myths irt black men sexualising white women - I agree with Firestone's claim that the condition of women and children are highly linked and I support children being able to have more autonomy. I cannot agree with the idea of removing childhood entirely (she is explicit about this including irt sexuality) & I think the treatment of children's vulnerability was unfortunately shallow - which is especially unfortunate given her recognition of the links between childhood and women's liberation - Explicitly radical feminist theory text

Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982: - Short read, fiction - This is an easy, quick read suitable for women without background in feminism - It's great at identifying the "little" (or not so little) everyday misogyny that permeates women's lives - Don't expect it to give you direction or theory knowledge - Focus on South Korean women, the focus of the book on pointing out the unfairness of what typical resonates cross-culturally

Daring to be bad: - Recommend reading - Can be a bit difficult at the v. start if not familiar with US 1960s history to keep track of the groups but soon becomes easier - Provides information about US radical feminism, how it started and how it went from a focus on gender abolition up to political lesbianism & idea of men and women having innately different natures - Explicitly radical feminist history text focusing on 2nd wave (author's views are also apparent) - Self aware about it but focus again on the stereotypical group The female eunuch: - I mostly read this because it was recommend to be by an older radical feminist who talked about how influential it was at the time - Still relevant today - I thought the concept (something like: women being used for sex and yet having our sexual desire/energy stripped from us) was interesting and worth reading - Explicitly radical feminist theory text focusing on 2nd wave - Very much focused on the stereotypical feminist group - white, western, heterosexual etc. Talkin' up to the white woman: Indigenous women and feminism - Wayyy too postmodern for me - difficult read -- I particularly hated how she comments on some Queer Theory authors including bestiality in "Queer" -> without criticising that - Aileen Moreton-Robertson wrote this based on her dissertation - Relevant criticisms of white feminism and discussion of Indigenous understandings

Who cooked the last supper? The woman's history of the world - I mostly read this because of how much a woman whose blogging I respect hypes it - don't get me wrong there were good bits (and I certainly wouldn't take back reading it) but it wasn't that groundbreaking for me - You might like it more if matriarchy is smth you get hyped about - Expect mentions of other groups but still a relatively stereotypical focus The hidden face of eve - Recommended reading - Nawal El Sadaawi is socialist feminist, not radical feminist, still read the book - If you're not convinced search her name up, learn about her, then read it - Discusses feminism in an Egyptian context and provides guidance to readers on not using feminism as an imperialist bludgeoning tool Gyn//ecology - This book should not be recommended for beginners - Seriously, I cannot emphasise the above point enough. - The ways she uses language requires adjustment -- Including being like "Lesbian is for women-identified-women, not mere female homosexuals, for whom I'll use lowercase 'lesbian' " (I'm paraphrasing from memory but that is the gist / it is really THAT bad) - quote from Audre Lorde's An Open Letter to Mary Daly "As an African-american woman in white patriarchy, I am used to having my archetypal experience distorted and trivialised, but it is terribly painful to feel it being done by a woman whose knowledge so much touches my own." - There are some useful criticisms of patriarchy in there but the above should make it clear I consider the text highly flawed - Part of the "Lesbian Feminism" branch (read: political lesbianism)

Invisible women - Good "look how feminism is still relevant!" text, recommended for that (yes, including to radblrians), - Easy read & good book to loan to other women in your life - I really liked it but don't expect it to challenge or deepen your ideological understanding that much - Recent feminist text, focusing on statistics Sexy but psycho - imo: some good some not so good in there - this book may mislead you if you are not familiar with the relevant subject matter & there's alleged dodgy ethics stuff with the author - Dr Jessica Taylor openly describes herself as a radical feminist. She does have a PhD in psychology (not in clinical psychology) - I disagree with her thesis that all mental illness should be viewed through a trauma lens & imo the handwaving away of the biopsychosocial model as bio-bio-bio is intellectually lazy - recent feminist text focusing on (poor) treatment of women in psychology & psychiatry The beauty myth - good text to read if you're trying to care less about your appearance, particularly if you are white and western - Naomi Wolf treated some of the statistics poorly so be aware of that (take any stats she lists about anorexia with a grain of salt, there's a research paper on this). She's also a conspiracy theorist, so makes sense I guess? - Feminist text form the 90's Ain't I a woman - Recommended reading - Illuminating text focusing on how Black women in the US have faced the double burden of racism and misogyny as well as overlapping misogynoir - Explicitly discusses feminism and Black women's roles in it

Right wing women - Recommended reading - Very radblr friendly - don't expect much ideological challenge - Radical feminist theory text focusing on why right wing women would work against their own liberation

I read I think 6 Sheila Jeffrey's books in the span of less than a week so they've blurred together - can't provide much useful commentary but those were my first intro to feminist theory books I think Abdullah Öcallan's ideas on needing to restructure the family to restructure society & his ideas around what that society would look like are interesting to read. (If unfamiliar look up who he is before diving into Jineology research) Honorary shout out to why does he do that? - also recommended reading I also recommend looking up statistics for women in your area (including dis-aggregated ones for different groups of women) & of course talking with and learning from women irl.

There are maybe, 5ish others I've read that are on feminist drives and that sort of thing but I can't be bothered writing any more rn and at first I forgot them for inclusion so clearly not the biggest deal (they're not key theory texts or anything).

#reading ideas #book quote #r4l thoughts #still a beginner don't take my recommendations too seriously

[sapphyreopal5]

Do you think Jared Padalecki is some some shape or form part of the LGBT but in denial? I do remember him talking about loving freely. Also I promise this is a legit ask, im not joking lol

Hello Anon, thank you for the ask. I see you are asking a tinhatters related question, which I am not one of them. I'm sure you've seen one of my tarot reading related posts where I said I don't believe Jensen is of the straight orientation and therefore am going to guess this is related to why you're asking me this in particular. With this being said, I believe at best Jared is "bicurious" and is to me not a huge stretch to say slightly bisexual but definitely leans more towards women. He has a bromance with both Milo and Jensen (probably Jensen more because he does more con panels with him and worked with him longer type of deal).

I've said this to multiple people via private messages and maybe in a post or 2 I have reason to believe at least some of the SPN former cast read the blogs, Jared being one of them. I've said this before to others via PM more or less that I believe that J2 have been more or less "feeding" people with certain statements that some say imply they are secretly lovers. I recently read a post from someone who said they came across one of Jared's former teachers who years ago apparently said "he's married to her [Gen]?" with her eyebrows raised when seeing photos of them together, and laughed apparently when seeing Jensen and him together but kept her mouth shut. Can't seem to find this post at the moment but I saw it not too long ago.

Looking at Jared's younger photos and even hearing his voice in some older clips where he was in high school, I get the impression that he may have started puberty more or less on the later side of the normal range if not slightly later (say between 15 and 16 is what my guides say). According to Kidshealth.org, boys often start puberty between the ages of 9 and 15. I believe that when boys start puberty a little later based on what my educational background and science says, this puts guys at higher risk of bullying and perhaps when they show less sexual interest in school they are assumed to be gay, even if they have had girlfriends prior to really hitting puberty like he did. He was said to have dated while he was class President in 8th grade dating the class Secretary. As someone on Reddit said "Mr. President dated Ms. Secretary. How scandalous." Priceless LOL. Apparently the OP who posted these photos on multiple subreddits had a crush on him back then while in 6th grade, oh the things that you can find on Reddit at times....

I understand Jared has some prom photos floating around like on Reddit of him with a girl who might be the same girl as he was seen with in a couple photos where they were what looks like a basketball court (high school girlfriend I am assuming), and also one in middle school with a middle school girlfriend. Some might say he was "pressured" to marry Gen and was "pressured" to hide his sexual orientation being raised Catholic and whatnot. I've also seen multiple movies and TV shows where he kisses women and can tell he does not mind and even enjoys kissing women. He has somewhat open sexual energy in my opinion which makes him more comfortable with things like a "surprise kiss" from Milo which seems more and also walked up to Jensen and air kissed him to which Jensen said "bro get away from me" in 2006.

My impression overall is that if Jared were to be LGBT, it would be technically bi but leans towards women a lot more if not is merely "bicurious" if this makes sense. Certainly not gay by a long shot ha ha. With the said like that Sandy gave for a post talking about no longer being a beard for someone, I do not think she would publicly acknowledge being a beard and believe this should not be taken as a literal confirmation she was "Jared's beard". I'm not going to talk about the disrespect the tinhatters have for the wives because I think everyone is going to be subject to criticism and questioning at times, it's just part of life (but not gonna lie, some of them definitely don't respect either Danneel or Gen at all despite their claims they just want them to be happy). I have my criticisms of everyone and praises for some ha ha. However, I will say it is also is disrespectful of both Jensen and Jared saying they're unfaithful, dishonest men living double lives but I don't feel like getting started here.

#jared padalecki #anti j2 tinhatters #bromance #milo ventimiglia

[the-queerview]

Saltburn (2023)

by Emerald Fennell

My dear readers,

I know it seemes like I abandoned you, but lately I really felt no need to write about a film, that would capture a certain Zeitgeist or some surprise to me. I wanted to write about the show "los espookys" by the creators Julio Torres, Ana Fabrega, Fred Armisen, a mexian-american comedy tv, which really made me pass this quite depressing winter in Berlin. But los espookys felt more like a warm, fresh bread, that I could snack at a sunny day, so I might write about it on a better day.

Today we gonna talk about the highly controversially labeled film Saltburn, directed by Emerald Fennell, who directed as well the masterpiece "Promising young women". You might remember this heavy, metoo themed vendetta film, with the amazing violine version of Britney Spears "Toxic".

Saltburn is a film about a guy namend Oliver enrolling in oxford, starting to be obsesses with everybod¥s darling Felix. Felix, coming from a wealthy background gets tricked by Oliver into a friendship and after Oliver's father dies, Felix invites him to spent the summer at his castle in Saltburn. Living with Felix rich, aristocratic family and their flaws, Felix adapts easily with the new won luxury lifestyle and his obsession with Felix seems to grow, ending up with shocking scenes, that didn't seem to shock me at all and clearly seemed like intended provocative gestures from the director to get prices.

I won't spoiler to much here about the storyline to follow for the ones, who would like to see it and focus on the further part on my critic.

So the film starts building up with heavy color grading during the oxford times, it reminds of middle 2k format drama shows and keeps rolling up to arthouse typical shots, with intense skies in the background, different camera angles, close ups reminding of advertisement and homo erotica ala Abercombie ans Fitch. But it continues to pave its way into a forced horror shots, there are to many different genre laps in this thriller. We are dealing with such an overlap of genres, that trough the moving pictures we encounter, we get lost in the storyline. Till the first middle part of the film ( and the film is asslong) we develop an understanding of the world Oliver entered, being an outsider at Oxford. feelings of less worth trough class dividence till the mood is entirely changed and Olivers live at Saltburn reminds more of a Wes Anderson themed kill the rich format, critical wannabe but not critical at all. The portrayal of the riches and their misery Emerald is clearly missing, by still showing their glamour and their fresh "bed sheets" (a metaphor) trough the lense of a beautifully placed camera setting. Here a few examples:

So being rich is aesthetically pleasing seems like especially with scenes of Felix. the rich kid, depicted in perfect lightning, while the shots of oliver are always creepy and bizarre ( like i try not to spoiler here, you have to figure out why i say creepy, and by that i mean specifically him WATCHING, what you will understand while watching the film). Anyways the film ends with a portrayal of the riches being the poor ones and the middle class being super evil, but i wont elaborate here not to spoiler.

I think the performances of Barry Keohghan ( you might remember him from "the killing of a sacred deer" by Yorgos Lanthimos), Jacob Elordi (Priscilla by Sophia Coppola) and Archie Madekwe ( Midsommar by Ari Aster) were well played. Every character had their development, from Oli ( Barry Keohghan) starting as a loser, becoming more popular and later actually evil, to Felix ( Jake Elordi) starting as the nice guy towards the spoiled brat, that really thinks the world is made for him and he believes to be a good guy, to Farleigh ( Archie Madekwe) starting as a bully, changing towards loosing and winning and loosing in this societal game, and having as the only character at the end of the film of this male characters dominated film, complicated feelings of loss and pain.

So I think the film itself lost thou its pace. It started off like a high school drama college mid 2k, continued to arthouse sway and ended with a film, that seemed like it rather was a tv show not a film. I felt as if the director made wrong decisions towards the end. While the pace was very slowly in the beginning till the middle. the end of the film and therefor the resolution just happened to quick. I wonder how important the role of the budget was to finish it, since if you watch the film, and made films, you can only imagine how high the rentals for this castle as well as the hundreds of extras costed, if you consider this party scene. So i look it up now.

"The film reportedly had a $20 million (£18.4m) budget. Details on Saltburn's production costs remain under wraps, but it's estimated to have had a budget between $10 million and $38 million" ( google search)

Also for the ones of you who are interested what the actors and actresses earned here's https://www.showbizgalore.com/saltburn-cast-salary/

So yeah phu, I guess and this is my true honest opinion, because I believe in Emerald Fennel as a filmmaker ( love love love promising young woman), that she had probably dreamed of megacake, like the ones my friend B does, what are they called, oh yeah, MAXIMALIST CAKES. They look amazing, lashy, rich, and its really about the cover, but the inside is not as much interesting as the decour. So Emerald Fennel created a very superficial portrayal of the riches, its trying to be an eat the rich film, but it makes the middle class look scary and and its message is just loosing the point, but we have intense pictures, lots of color grading, like they did good, also the camerawork was trying literally the whole alphabet of lense operations in there. I think their money ran out and they had to finish it. So we are left with an unsatisfying speedy end, i dont believe any of this. but hey its a film.

Like it's not that deep as it wants to be. sorry Emerald, I know you can do better.

see you around

here

visiti my blog

hehehehe

#queer film #saltburn #euphoria #feminist film #art house #female directed films #female filmmakers #female directors

[baxtermccarthy]

Purpose Statement

The purpose of my statement is to try and talk about what I consider one of the biggest issues in the so-called social media age of the world we currently live in, mental health. Moreover I wanted to look at how the growth of the “sad girl” aesthetic, with the growth of social media changed the stigma that had surrounded mental health. More specifically, how has the change in people talking about mental health affected the way in which all people view mental health and the stigma around it? The sad girl aesthetic is very broad and therefore is a very big thing among many “younger women” (teenage and up), but what I wanted to look at was how this has changed the even more broad mental health stigma.

 For one of my objects I want to use the comment section from a “sad girl” social media page post. I want to do this because of what is said in these comment sections, inside the comment sections people are either openly talking about their struggles with mental health or counseling others who are struggling with mental health problems. For another one of my items I want to use a picture of a shirt that I keep seeing walking around campus which says “It's ok to not be ok”, this shirt is also another way in which people have been more able to express some of their feelings about mental health. Another one of the items I choose is from the Instagram page “mytherapistsays”, I choose this item because it represents another way people are fighting the stigma through humor. This has grown very popular and many of the sad girl “meme” pages have used humor to talk about mental health. My final item I chose is a post that I found on Tumblr one of the times looking for it. It is very simple with a pink background with a snail in the middle that says “Snail is Sad” and the description below it says “Snail is sad, and so am I”. What struck me about this was how simple it was but still had a clear message behind it. 

 In class when we first started the sad girl “unit” I felt as though it would be tough for me to connect with any of the ideas/purposes of the pieces of writing and art that we went through. However when we went to the Thelanderson article, it opened my mind to the mental health aspect of the sad girl aesthetic. Growing up around social media in my life, has/had introduced me to the ideas that mental health is really important and is not something everyone can just forget and not talk about. Online you always hear stories of people who have battled mental health, but that people say you never would have known. That is why I want to talk about this part of mental health. Speaking out and talking about your problems to me is one of the most important things you can do to attempt to fight one's mental health struggles. This is why I choose the topic of mental health and more specifically, how talking about it and breaking the stigma of it has changed mental health and how able people are to talk about it.

[bookishchef]

Going through The Jestivan by David F. Farris for the third time...

And I just want to know: is there a Tumblr fandom out there? Am I the only person on here who has read (some of) the Erafeen series? I know it's selfpub, and therefore a little less well-known and accessible, but it's so entertaining (if a little problematic)!

This is absolutely my guilty pleasure series!

For those of you who aren't in the know:

The Erafeen series consists of 6 books, all of which are easy to get as e-books, and a little harder to get as paperbacks. (I had to import book 2 from Germany, because Dutch Amazon did not sell it).

The books follow Bryson LeAnce, a teenage boy who is trying to live up to the legacy of his deceased father. Him, his best friend Olivia, and some of his classmates get chosen to become part of the Jestivan: a group that is put together in times of trouble to fight against evil.

The story has several mysteries, a lot of twist and turns, some (gay) romance, messages about the damaging nature of toxic masculinity, found family, and a lot of cool fight scenes.

Over all, the books have a very anime feel. While reading, you can imagine the plot playing out in an anime instead. The characters are also very anime-esque. The way they talk, the way they are described, the way the plot plays out; it all feels very cartoony. The characters start off as clichés, but all develop personalities as the story keeps going.

The world building, while clunky at times, is actually quite original and creative if you ignore its infodumpy nature. The Erafeen world is made up of islands that float directly above each other, meaning that the MC, who lives on the middle island, always gets to see another island hovering above him.

The magic system is also quite creative, and while there are clichés such as magic schools, and society being divided by magic classes, the books do dive into what a social hierarchy based on magic would actually entail (and why it would be kind of shit).

As for representation:

There's characters of many different backgrounds. They're all from different social classes.

There's physically strong women, mentally strong women, and innocent women who don't want to fight at all.

There's muscular and callous men, smart and studious men, and sensitive men who don't want to fight at all.

There's a lesbian romance (starting from book 2), and although I haven't finished the series yet, I suspect there might be more queerness ahead.

There's a love triangle (including the lesbian romance).

Besides that, Olivia is selectively mute, has a flat affect, and struggles with showing emotions in any way. Make of that what you will.

Critiques and Covers

Book one is called The Jestivan. It is, in my opinion, quite rough around the edges. The writing takes some getting used to, and the world building can be very infodumpy at times. However, if you manage to look past that, you are in for a wild and fun ride!

Book two is called The Untenable, and absolutely blew me away when I first read it. It was incredibly entertaining and contains a plottwist I didn't see coming. It does have some poor mental health rep unfortunately (and mentions of SA if I remember correctly??).

Book three is called The Uprising, and I'm currently rereading book one as preparation for this one. Shit really hits the fan in the second book, so I can only guess at what this book has in store for me.

These three books can also be bought as a paperback bundle. Depending on where you are located, this can be cheaper!

Book four is called The Chronicle. Because I haven't read it yet, I can't say anything about its contents as of yet.

Book five is called The Sacrifice, and oooohh boy does that title scare me. Knowing this series, the titular sacrifice will be super impactful on the story. It will probably also make me cry.

Finally, there's book six: The Empires. Am I ready? No. Will I be when I've read book five? Also probably no.

As you can probably tell, these covers are absolutely GORGEOUS (The Untenable and The Sacrifice are my favourites). I highly recommend getting the paperback editions if you can. I personally couldn't for the longest time though, so I can confirm that the e-books are magnificent as well.

This series is very quickly becoming my guilty pleasure series, and I think it could be the same for many others.

The Jestivan was available as a free/extremely cheap Kindle e-book once upon a time, which is how I got into the series. As of right now (the 15th of August 2022), the ebook is €2,99 on the Dutch version of Amazon, and $2.99 on the US version of Amazon.

So, if you feel like reading a fun, wild, anime-esque story with creative world building, written by a black author: go for it!

P.S. These beautiful covers were all done by Alessandro Brunelli!

#David F. Farris #books #sff books #The Jestivan #Jestivan #Erafeen #self publication #self publishing #author of color #black authors #guilty pleasure #these books feel like anime #Bryson LeAnce #these books make me feel like I'm 13 again #fantasy books #ya fantasy #book recommendations #currently reading #reading recommendations #I might be the only person in this fandom but I won't let that stop me #book cover #appreciation

[nothorses]

Interview With An Ex-Radfem

exradfem is an anonymous Tumblr user who identifies as transmasculine, and previously spent time in radical feminist communities. They have offered their insight into those communities using their own experiences and memories as a firsthand resource.

Background

I was raised in an incredibly fundamentalist religion, and so was predisposed to falling for cult rhetoric. Naturally, I was kicked out for being a lesbian. I was taken in by the queer community, particularly the trans community, and I got back on my feet- somehow. I had a large group of queer friends, and loved it. I fully went in on being the Best Trans Ally Possible, and constantly tried to be a part of activism and discourse.

Unfortunately, I was undersocialized, undereducated, and overenthusiastic. I didn't fully understand queer or gender theory. In my world, when my parents told me my sexuality was a choice and I wasn't born that way, they were absolutely being homophobic. I understood that no one should care if it's a choice or not, but it was still incredibly, vitally important to me that I was born that way.

On top of that, I already had an intense distrust of men bred by a lot of trauma. That distrust bred a lot of gender essentialism that I couldn't pull out of the gender binary. I felt like it was fundamentally true that men were the problem, and that women were inherently more trustworthy. And I really didn't know where nonbinary people fit in.

Then I got sucked down the ace exclusionist pipeline; the way the arguments were framed made sense to my really surface-level, liberal view of politics. This had me primed to exclude people –– to feel like only those that had been oppressed exactly like me were my community.

Then I realized I was attracted to my nonbinary friend. I immediately felt super guilty that I was seeing them as a woman. I started doing some googling (helped along by ace exclusionists on Tumblr) and found the lesfem community, which is basically radfem “lite”: lesbians who are "only same sex attracted". This made sense to me, and it made me feel so much less guilty for being attracted to my friend; it was packaged as "this is just our inherent, biological desire that is completely uncontrollable". It didn't challenge my status quo, it made me feel less guilty about being a lesbian, and it allowed me to have a "biological" reason for rejecting men.

I don't know how much dysphoria was playing into this, and it's something I will probably never know; all of this is just piecing together jumbled memories and trying to connect dots. I know at the time I couldn't connect to this trans narrative of "feeling like a woman". I couldn't understand what trans women were feeling. This briefly made me question whether I was nonbinary, but radfem ideas had already started seeping into my head and I'm sure I was using them to repress that dysphoria. That's all I can remember.

The lesfem community seeded gender critical ideas and larger radfem princples, including gender socialization, gender as completely meaningless, oppression as based on sex, and lesbian separatism. It made so much innate sense to me, and I didn't realize that was because I was conditioned by the far right from the moment of my birth. Of course women were just a biological class obligated to raise children: that is how I always saw myself, and I always wanted to escape it.

I tried to stay in the realms of TIRF (Trans-Inclusive Radical Feminist) and "gender critical" spaces, because I couldn't take the vitriol on so many TERF blogs. It took so long for me to get to the point where I began seeing open and unveiled transphobia, and I had already read so much and bought into so much of it that I thought that I could just ignore those parts.

In that sense, it was absolutely a pipeline for me. I thought I could find a "middle ground", where I could "center women" without being transphobic.

Slowly, I realized that the transphobia was just more and more disgustingly pervasive. Some of the trans men and butch women I looked up to left the groups, and it was mostly just a bunch of nasty people left. So I left.

After two years offline, I started to recognize I was never going to be a healthy person without dealing with my dysphoria, and I made my way back onto Tumblr over the pandemic. I have realized I'm trans, and so much of this makes so much more sense now. I now see how I was basically using gender essentialism to repress my identity and keep myself in the closet, how it was genuinely weaponized by TERFs to keep me there, and how the ace exclusionist movement primed me into accepting lesbian separatism- and, finally, radical feminism.

The Interview

You mentioned the lesfem community, gender criticals, and TIRFs, which I haven't heard about before- would you mind elaborating on what those are, and what kinds of beliefs they hold?

I think the lesfem community is recruitment for lesbians into the TERF community. Everything is very sanitized and "reasonable", and there's an effort not to say anything bad about trans women. The main focus was that lesbian = homosexual female, and you can't be attracted to gender, because you can't know someone's gender before knowing them; only their sex.

It seemed logical at the time, thinking about sex as something impermeable and gender as internal identity. The most talk about trans women I saw initially was just in reference to the cotton ceiling, how sexual orientation is a permanent and unchangeable reality. Otherwise, the focus was homophobia. This appealed to me, as I was really clinging to the "born this way" narrative.

This ended up being a gateway to two split camps - TIRFs and gender crits.

I definitely liked to read TIRF stuff, mostly because I didn't like the idea of radical feminism having to be transphobic. But TIRFs think that misogyny is all down to hatred of femininity, and they use that as a basis to be able to say trans women are "just as" oppressed.

Gender criticals really fought out against this, and pushed the idea that gender is fake, and misogyny is just sex-based oppression based on reproductive issues. They believe that the source of misogyny is the "male need to control the source of reproduction"- which is what finally made me think I had found the "source" of my confusion. That's why I ended up in gender critical circles instead of TIRF circles.

I'm glad, honestly, because the mask-off transphobia is what made me finally see the light. I wouldn't have seen that in TIRF communities.

I believed this in-between idea, that misogyny was "sex-based oppression" and that transphobia was also real and horrible, but only based on transition, and therefore a completely different thing. I felt that this was the "nuanced" position to take.

The lesfem community also used the fact that a lot of lesbians have partners who transition, still stay with their lesbian partners, and see themselves as lesbian- and that a lot of trans men still see themselves as lesbians. That idea is very taboo and talked down in liberal queer spaces, and I had some vague feelings about it that made me angry, too. I really appreciated the frank talk of what I felt were my own taboo experiences.

I think gender critical ideology also really exploited my own dysphoria. There was a lot of talk about how "almost all butches have dysphoria and just don't talk about it", and that made me feel so much less alone and was, genuinely, a big relief to me that I "didn't have to be trans".

Lesfeminism is essentially lesbian separatism dressed up as sex education. Lesfems believe that genitals exist in two separate categories, and that not being attracted to penises is what defines lesbians. This is used to tell cis lesbians, "dont feel bad as a lesbian if you're attracted to trans men", and that they shouldn’t feel "guilty" for not being attracted to trans women. They believe that lesbianism is not defined as being attracted to women, it is defined as not being attracted to men; which is a root idea in lesbian separatism as well.

Lesfems also believe that attraction to anything other than explicit genitals is a fetish: if you're attracted to flat chests, facial hair, low voices, etc., but don't care if that person has a penis or not, you're bisexual with a fetish for masculine attributes. Essentially, they believe the “-sexual” suffix refers to the “sex” that you are assigned at birth, rather than your attraction: “homosexual” refers to two people of the same sex, etc. This was part of their pushback to the ace community, too.

I think they exploited the issues of trans men and actively ignored trans women intentionally, as a way of avoiding the “TERF” label. Pronouns were respected, and they espoused a constant stream of "trans women are women, trans men are men (but biology still exists and dictates sexual orientation)" to maintain face.

They would only be openly transmisogynistic in more private, radfem-only spaces.

For a while, I didn’t think that TERFs were real. I had read and agreed with the ideology of these "reasonable" people who others labeled as TERFs, so I felt like maybe it really was a strawman that didn't exist. I think that really helped suck me in.

It sounds from what you said like radical feminism works as a kind of funnel system, with "lesfem" being one gateway leading in, and "TIRF" and "gender crit" being branches that lesfem specifically funnels into- with TERFs at the end of the funnel. Does that sound accurate?

I think that's a great description actually!

When I was growing up, I had to go to meetings to learn how to "best spread the word of god". It was brainwashing 101: start off by building a relationship, find a common ground. Do not tell them what you really believe. Use confusing language and cute innuendos to "draw them in". Prey on their emotions by having long exhausting sermons, using music and peer pressure to manipulate them into making a commitment to the church, then BAM- hit them with the weird shit.

Obviously I am paraphrasing, but this was framed as a necessary evil to not "freak out" the outsiders.

I started to see that same talk in gender critical circles: I remember seeing something to the effect of, "lesfem and gender crit spaces exist to cleanse you of the gender ideology so you can later understand the 'real' danger of it", which really freaked me out; I realized I was in a cult again.

I definitely think it's intentional. I think they got these ideas from evangelical Christianity, and they actively use it to spread it online and target young lesbians and transmascs. And I think gender critical butch spaces are there to draw in young transmascs who hate everything about femininity and womanhood, and lesfem spaces are there to spread the idea that trans women exist as a threat to lesbianism.

Do you know if they view TIRFs a similar way- as essentially prepping people for TERF indoctrination?

Yes and no.

I've seen lots of in-fighting about TIRFs; most TERFs see them as a detriment, worse than the "TRAs" themselves. I've also definitely seen it posed as "baby's first radfeminism". A lot of TIRFs are trans women, at least from what I've seen on Tumblr, and therefore are not accepted or liked by radfems. To be completely honest, I don't think they're liked by anyone. They just hate men.

TIRFs are almost another breed altogether; I don't know if they have ties to lesfems at all, but I do think they might've spearheaded the online ace exclusionist discourse. I think a lot of them also swallowed radfem ideology without knowing what it was, and parrot it without thinking too hard about how it contradicts with other ideas they have.

The difference is TIRFs exist. They're real people with a bizarre, contradictory ideology. The lesfem community, on the other hand, is a completely manufactured "community" of crypto-terfs designed specifically to indoctrinate people into TERF ideology.

Part of my interest in TIRFs here is that they seem to have a heavy hand in the way transmascs are treated by the trans community, and if you're right that they were a big part of ace exclusionism too they've had a huge impact on queer discourse as a whole for some time. It seems likely that Baeddels came out of that movement too.

Yes, there’s a lot of overlap. The more digging I did, the more I found that it's a smaller circle running the show than it seems. TIRFs really do a lot of legwork in peddling the ideology to outer queer community, who tend to see it as generic feminism.

TERFs joke a lot about how non-radfems will repost or reblog from TERFs, adding "op is a TERF”. They're very gleeful when people accept their ideology with the mask on. They think it means these people are close to fully learning the "truth", and they see it as further evidence they have the truth the world is hiding. I think it's important to speak out against radical feminism in general, because they’re right; their ideology does seep out into the queer community.

Do you think there's any "good" radical feminism?

No. It sees women as the ultimate victim, rather than seeing gender as a tool to oppress different people differently. Radical feminism will always see men as the problem, and it is always going to do harm to men of color, gay men, trans men, disabled men, etc.

Women aren't a coherent class, and radfems are very panicked about that fact; they think it's going to be the end of us all. But what's wrong with that? That's like freaking out that white isn't a coherent group. It reveals more about you.

It's kind of the root of all exclusionism, the more I think about it, isn't it? Just freaking out that some group isn't going to be exclusive anymore.

Radical feminists believe that women are inherently better than men.

For TIRFs, it's gender essentialism. For TERFs, its bio essentialism. Both systems are fundamentally broken, and will always hurt the groups most at risk. Centering women and misogyny above all else erases the root causes of bigotry and oppression, and it erases the intersections of race and class. The idea that women are always fundamentally less threatening is very white and privileged.

It also ignores how cis women benefit from gender norms just as cis men do, and how cis men suffer from gender roles as well. It’s a system of control where gender non-conformity is a punishable offense.

#transgender #transphobia #trans #transmisogyny #radical feminism #radfem #feminism #transandrophobia #terfs #tirfs #gender critical #nothorses #cult mention #long post

[moonlit-sunflower-books]

a short history of feminist literature

[@/moonlitsunflowerbooks on ig]

before we get started i would just like to mention that it is my life goal to be chloe gong when i grow up. thank you. /hj /lh

hey y'all! today we are talking about some books that paved the way for female authors and were the face of the feminist movement at different points through history. i haven't read all of these, but i've read extracts of many and i have LOVED them. this is also by no means a complete guide to feminist literature, more like a compilation of books i've heard of or that inspired me!

1. A Vindication of the Rights of Woman by Mary Wollstonecraft

this book was written in 1792, before the term 'feminist' even existed. she argues against the idea that women shouldn't be given education, and says that women are essential to society as companions to their husbands and as the people who raise their children. she says that treating women as ornaments or property goes against the moral backbone of society.

2. A Room of One's Own by Virginia Woolf

published in 1929, this book challenges the idea that women are lesser writers because of their gender. woolf sheds light on the years of systemic oppression that have denied women of their opportunities and therefore stifled their voices.

3. The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedman

this book is often credited with sparking the second-wave feminism in the US. published in 1963, it talks about how being feminine was equated to being fulfilled by only marriage, children, sexual activity, and housework. she intended to raise the voices of women across the country and promote female education.

4. This Bridge Called My Back (anthology edited by Cherríe Moraga and Gloria E. Anzaldúa

this book talks about what, today, is considered intersectional feminism from the lens of race. it is an anthology of pieces written by women of colour that challenges 'white feminism', a movement that primarily involved educated, upper-middle class white women.

"with its collective ethos, its politics of rage and regeneration, and its mix of poetry, critique, fiction and testimony, it challenged the boundaries of feminist and academic discourse."

5. Bad Feminist by Roxanne Gay

'Bad Feminist', published in 2014, talks about the idea of a 'perfect feminist' and how the feminist movement has created a singular idea of what a progressive woman is. she challenges this idea. she also talks about how pop culture reinforces certain stereotypes about both women and feminists that need to be broken.

6. The Vagina Monologues by Eve Ensler

with sections dedicated to sexual consent, body image, sex work, reproduction, and more, ensler’s work was designed to give a voice to women of many races, identities, and experiences. 'the vagina monologues' is a play with monologues by different women of different backgrounds and experiences, and has become an important part of the feminist movement.

7. The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir

author and philosopher de Beauvoir’s 1949 book began as an autobiographical essay exploring why she thought of herself as a woman first and everything else second. It reclaimed “the problem of woman,” which, as she put it, “has always been the problem of men.”

#feminism #writing #writing advice #writing memes #writers community #writing meme #feminist literature #chronic illness #lit fic #literary fiction #non fiction

[oh-hush-its-perfect]

do you think there is any significance that alex's colour scheme is green and pink? or do you think rr went "u know what this character needs? to look like a watermelon"

((Prefacing this by saying that I'm giving RR way too much credit here, but you shouldn't take anything an author does for granted— even a serial author who often makes blunders and mistakes.))

A while ago I saw a (pretty unfair) assumption that RR made it green and pink because blue and pink would be too obvious, but that his intention was obviously to reinforce the gender binary by using two distinctly gendered colors for a character with two distinct genders. Of course, they did not phrase it so delicately. No offense to whoever made that post, but I disagree.

Although that may have had to do with it, there's other things to consider. One of them is color symbolism. And oh. OH. I ADORE symbolism— especially flower/plant symbolism (Language of the Flowers and all that jazz), seasonal symbolism (there's a reason that evermore is my second favorite Taylor Swift album), and color symbolism.

GREEN

Let's talk about green first. Green can symbolize a lot of different things, and there are a few that can be applied to Alex's character. The most obvious thing that green often represents is jealousy— hence the expression "green with envy." But envy is not really one of Alex's character traits. Feel free to argue with me if you think that Alex is significantly envious. Just because I couldn't think of substantial textual evidence for it does not mean that there isn't any.

One of the traits that Alex does have is wealth. Green is the color of American currency, and since both RR and Alex are American, it's safe to take an American lens while looking at this color. Alex's socioeconomic background effects her in a big way. I mentioned in a previous post that I think that Alex's fatal flaw is her sense of entitlement. That kind of entitlement is a quality not exclusive to but common among the upper class. However, her distance from her wealthy background enhances the sense of irony in the story, which is a VERY big thing that we NEVER talk about within the fandom.

This is kind of a little thing, but it's worth noting that when it comes to Valhalla and everything, Alex is "green"— as in new and inexperienced.

The color green also emphasizes Alex's connection with nature. This is one of the parts of Alex's character that the fandom consistently underplays, which is an absolute shame. I don't think I have to explain why the color green is associated with all things natural. Alex's association with nature provides a few key things to her character:

It makes her a more well-rounded character. Another criticism of Alex I believe is totally unfounded is that "being genderfluid is her only personality trait because it influences her philosophy on pottery, which is her only hobby." I'm probably going to make another post in, like, a few minutes about why I find that argument a little silly, but the primary problem is that pottery is not Alex's only hobby. She also loves camping, hiking, and ice wall climbing (I bet y'all forgot about that last one!)

It gives her a connection with Magnus. I mentioned in a previous post that Magnus and Alex are foils, but I neglected to bring up why that also makes for very good chemistry between them. Of course, yes, they have different goals and philosophy, which is what makes them foils in the first place. But foil relationships function best when the characters also share some traits. As it turns out, Alex and Magnus share several hobbies, and one of them is a mutual love for nature. This is a very unexplored thing in fics. Start doing it more plz.

Finally, and this one's kind of minor, but the Alex's green gives her a connection to Natalie. I know, whenever Alex and Natalie are compared, either in canon or in fandom, everybody kind goes "eww. Oedipus complex." Which is very fair and true. But they really do have a lot of similarites. The green of Alex's hair and clothes connects her to the green of Natalie's eyes. It's worth saying, too, that Alex has one amber eye— and amber is pretty close to dirty blonde, like Natalie's hair.

If I had more faith in RR, I might bring up the concept of intextuality and how Alex wearing green is an allusion to The Great Gatsby and how Alex is elusive to Magnus, just like Daisy is to Gatsby. But I don't.

PINK

To give credit to the person who wrote the post I mentioned at the beginning of this spiel, I do believe that part of the reason pink was used was to support femininity. Please keep in mind that Alex dresses in an androgynous way— not that there is an actually "gendered" way to dress, since gender as we perceive it is mostly made up. But Alex's existence as a transfemme person (which I will maintain until my dying day) means that pink has a certain significance to her. A lot of AMAB people embrace traditionally feminine things because if they don't, they will not be accepted as genuine women or genuine nonbinary folks, since masculine dress is unisex and kind of the default. So Alex wearing pink probably had something to do with her gender, yes. But that's not necessarily a bad thing, and it's certainly not an unrealistic thing.

Speaking of Alex's gender in relation to the color pink, let's talk about pink's use as a queer rights symbol. Alex was RR's first character to be introduced as a queer character from the start. This was not an insignificant thing, especially in the year of our Lord 2016 (which, despite popular belief, seriously had an entirely different landscape of queer rep. Though it's commonplace now to include genderqueer characters, it was exceptional at the time— especially by such an accomplished and mainstream children's author.).

Let's go back in time to Nazi Germany. Some of you might know this, but for those of you don't this transition must seem jarring. I swear there's a point. In addition to Jews, Romani individuals, people with disabilities, and Poles (among others), gay men were victimized by the Nazis. If you're wondering why lesbians weren't persecuted, it's because the Nazis didn't see them as a serious political threat, or as a threat to the perpetuation of the Aryan race since they assumed gay women could be forcefully impregnated if need be. Yeah, ew. Anyway, much like the Star of David being used to mark Jewish people, gay men were forced into concentration camps and forced to wear a pink triangle. Years later, after the gay population somewhat recovered, the pink triangle was reclaimed and used as a symbol for gay men. Some people who were not gay men used it, too, but that's somewhat controversial since it wasn't their symbol to reclaim. When the first pride flag was created, it had a pink stripe at the top to signify sex (this was later dropped so flags could be more easily produced). The pink triangle (inverted) was used during the AIDs epidemic with the caption "Silence=Death."

My point is that this is a very important color to queer folks. Having one of the first genderfluid characters in kid's lit wear pink...... I mean, it makes sense.

The last and final thing that pink represents, in this context and in general, is innocence. Granted, this kind of connects to feminitity since women (especially white women) are often infantalized and seen as innocent— which is another issue. In any case, the use of pink to represent innocence in Alex's dress is ironic. Alex has been robbed of her childhood innocence, first by her abusive parents, then by her life on the streets, and then by her eventual death at age sixteen. But then she actually regains her innocence. At the beginning of the—

Hold on. I just had a revelation. I'll make a post about it soon.

At the beginning of SotD, Alex is acting a little childish. The most obvious example is him jumping on Randolph's bed to "make noise." Alex's life is stable and relatively healthy for the first time in the years, and she experiences something that a lot of queer folks experience: a re-emergence of childhood at a late stage.

I imagine you didn't expect a post this long. I either make essay responses to asks or I add on one sentence and post it. Oops. Anyway, I believe the mcga fandom can be more creative than calling Alex a watermelon. Here are some other (kinda romantic) pink-and-green alternatives:

Roses

Dragonfruit

Grapefruit

Cherry blossom trees

#mcga #magnus chase #alex fierro #mcatgoa #magnus chase and the gods of asgard #sorry for the long response lol #thanks for the ask! I had a go of it!

[jessiebanethedragon]

White Sands Warm the Cold Sea (pt 10)

Summary: the reader, betrothed to a disgusting Coruscanti Lord flees her home world and lands herself in a plethora of trouble, a ship of clones, and one pirate captain whose cold exterior needs much more than the tropical seaside sun.

Chapter one

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter four

Chapter five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Warnings: Swearing, takes place in time periods where women have dowery's and suchlike. The readers' dad and betrothed are asses.

Chapter Ten: The Echo

Greeting your companions the next morning was just as awkward as bidding them goodnight after the debacle last night. You’re stiff, bruised, and the dirtiest you’ve ever been in your whole life. Lightly retying the corset to support yourself, you collect Gonk from where she’s curled in the Hammock and brace yourself before heading out onto the deck of the ship. It’s already very bright out, and the crew is as rambunctious as ever. With the Captain throwing orders around here and there, Tech and Wrecker working the sails, and Crosshair shouting back down to Hunter. It’s marvellous how they work together when they're not disagreeing about something.

You feel Gonk leap off your shoulder with a curious noise before bounding away, her speckled wings bouncing behind her. She looks clumsy for a lizard, but then again, how many lizards did you know that have feathers?

“Good Morning!” Wrecker shouts to you when he notices your figure. You give him a smile and a small wave. Tech returns your smile and watches you as you glance around. Appreciating the sea and the vessel you’ve found yourself on.

The water of the Corillian run is a rich blue with just enough green to look magical. And the waves the churn underneath you look more powerful than any carriage or speeder you’ve seen before. Just as you’re wondering how deep it is, there's a commotion behind you. Hunter is glaring deadly at Gonk, who’s held by her neck feathers in front of his face. And from the way her wings are flapping and her front claws grab at him, it's no mystery where she was, or where she’s trying to go.

“I’m sorry!” You say, gathering your skirts and rushing over. The Captain glares at you as he shoves her into your arms, her grey feathers bunching up as he does so. His tunic is rolled up again, and in the morning light you can see the symbols on his forearm more clearly. Traitor.

When the wooden ruler collided with your desk you yelped in fear and surprise. Was it the first time this had happened? Absolutely not, and if these lessons continued this way, it certainly wouldn't be the last.

“Pay. Attention.” The Pantoran woman growled at you, she was very smart. You could just tell, and the fact she was instructed to dumb down your education infruiated the both of you. “As I was saying…” She eyed you - a dare to look out the window and start daydreaming again.

“Teach me about the war.” You blurted out the statue of the emperor they were erecting, catching your eye again.

“This is a language class.” She said with a sigh, before placing the ruler down. “I’m guessing you want to know about the Clones.”

“How did you kn-”

“It’s all anyone ever talks about.” She interrupted you, which was shocking in itself, but not unwelcome. Perching herself on the birch coloured desk, you found her staring out the window as well.“It’s well known that there was scarcely a better soldier than a Kaminoan Clone. And so when the war came to its end, and the Jedi went rouge, well they hardly stood a chance. Those who sided with them were caught and killed or branded traitors. Why they let any of them survive is beyond me, but those clones were so fiercely loyal. Some of them just couldn't shake that. No matter how hard the Kaminoans or the Emperor tried, there were millions of them, and some…” She paused for a moment, glancing back at the door as if someone was watching you through it.

“Well even if an inhibitor chip is 99.99% effective, out of one million, there will still be one hundred defects.”

You try to stop staring, you really do. But by then Hunter has caught your eye, and is glaring even harder than he was before. Cautiously you take a step back, finding yourself in the company of clones is one thing, those willing to defy Nython, another. But enemies of the Galactic Empire was a different kind of dangerous.

“Courtesy of your betrothed.” The Captain grits out, and whatever softness was there from the night before is gone. Scared, you clutch Gonk to your chest like a child would a blanket. “What did you do?” You ask, looking him up and down. Even with the scars on his knuckles of cuts and burns, He didn't look like the horror stories you’d been told as a kid, in fact, he didn't look dangerous at all. But the symbols were there, scared into his skin some time ago. Something flashes in his brown sugar eyes, like the ping of a blaster bounces off of his iries in the heat of battle. Like he relives combat right in front of you.

“What we did was rescue a prisoner of war.” He spits, walking towards you and backing you into the banister that overlooks the pain part of the deck. “That hammock you’re sleeping in belongs to someone.”

“I’m sorry.” You say trembling. Looking to the side to see Wrecker place a firm hand on his sergeant's shoulder and pull him firmly away from you.

“Echo’s was in the hands of the Techno Union for some time.” Wrecker explains defusing the situation. “He’s waiting for us on Alderaan, after some much needed rest.” Hunter, who’s now swatting Tech - and whatever device he’s trying to scan him with - away, seems to be ignoring you.

“I-I didn’- I didn’t mean…” You tell Wrecker shakily.

“I know, and it’s okay.” He says with a smile, but Hunter's words resonate with you. Haunting you of acts you have had nothing to do with.

In his cabin Hunter throws his hat as hard as he can against the wall. He hates you, he hates the Empire and most of all he hates Nython. And what’s even more infuriating is how innocent you are, how your morales are driving you away from your betrothed, and how you saved the shit disturbing reptile that seems to like himself and yourself too much. And no matter how much Hunter wants to despise the empire, if it’s still filled with people like you, it means there’s still something to fight for. But if he’s being honest with himself, he doesn’t know how much fight he's got left.

☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠

“What did he mean, courtesy of my betrothed?” You have to walk quickly behind Crosshair in an effort to keep up, his long legs easily outpace you and even though you’re both still injured he moves quickly. You follow him into the storage area that you’re all too familiar with, nearly bumping into him when he stops to look for a specific crate.

“Why don’t you bother Tech with your questions?” Crosshair says pushing boxes around.

“Because you’ll tell me the truth, no sugar coating.” You tell him, nudging him aside with your boot as you lean over to grab what he couldn’t reach. Perhaps being smaller wasn’t a disadvantage after all. Proudly you hand him the strange looking fruit.

“I need the whole crate.” Crosshair tells you unimpressed, before giving you the singular Meiloorun fruit and leaning over the stack of crates again. “And to answer your question, he was talking about the scars on his hand.” You lean against the tower so you can try to read his face as he yanks the crate forward.

“The burns or the wounds?” You ask, mulling over the fruit in your hands.

“Same thing.” Crosshair explains. “From a mission on Kashyyyk, Nython had the whole forest alight, and Hunter got trapped behind a blast door.” He watches as you cover your mouth with one hand as you remember the boasts, the gloat, the pride Nython had when he recounted the battle.

“You should’ve seen it,” There’s awe in Crosshair's voice now. “The Regs wanted to label him MIA, but that's not Hunter, not the Sergeant of ‘Force 99. When the squad hoisted him into that medical bay, he was barely alive.”

“No wonder he hates me.” You breathe, looking at the clone in front of you who shrugs.

“Don’t take it personally, he hates mostly everyone. We all do, it’s…” Crosshair stops and composes himself, like being honest or genuine with you is a weakness. “Nython decimated everything in his path. There’s what? A handful of Wookies left, half of those are thanks to him and all he can think about is how many he didn’t save.” You gently place your fruit on the box Crosshair is standing before you with. “It’s all a bit narcissistic if you ask me.” You smile at Crosshairs sass.

“You’d know.” You counter, trying to ease the tension in the room. “Thank you, for being honest.” You tell him, catching a smirk as he starts up the stairs.

“It’s one of my many endearing qualities.” He says, before shouting to his brothers about something that you don't even bother trying to understand.

With a look back at the hiding spot that you had chosen when you boarded the ship, you start up the stars and get back into the daylight. The captain is still gone, but Tech, Crosshair and Wrecker are each peeling a Meilroon fruit. You smile at them, they look so picturesque right now. The sea in the background and the three of them scraping the tough skin off of the fruits with knives. You’re reminded of children's picture books of pirates mulling over gold.

“Hey! What’s so funny?” Wrecker calls when he sees your big smile. Walking over, You plant yourself on the floor leaning against the banister.

“I half expected you all to break out into a sea shanty.” You tease reaching up to pick up a fruit.

“Ha ha.” Crosshair said dryly, giving you the handle of the knife to take from him to peel your own fruit. “Try not to chuck it at Tech again will ya?” you nod and very carefully start running the blade along the fruit.

“So no sea shanties then?” You ask, popping a piece into your mouth.

“We don’t sing.” Tech states.

“Yeah we do!” Wrecker argues, jamming his knife into the lid of the crate, “we know that one from-”

“Ferrik if you start singing that again.” Crosshair grumbles.

“THERE ONCE WAS A SHIP THAT PUT TO SEA” You all cringe when Wrecker starts shouting rather than singing, both of his brothers shout back simultaneously for him to stop, while you giggle from your spot on the floor. You could almost get used to their company, that and the fresh salty sea air, you are already beginning to enjoy the life of sailing. On the second floor, emerging from the captain's quarters, Hunter generally steps. Even someone without enhanced senses would have heard Wreckers incessant shouting and he has every intent on giving the three of them a lecture when he hears something else entirely.

“There was once a soldier who carried a mighty sword, and he had saved the village, oh lei, oh lai, oh lord.” Your voice accompanies soft taps to the wooden boards to create some kind of beat. The sound stops as soon as it starts.

“Don’t stop on our account.” He hears Tech's voice, and a stealthy Hunter moves to try and get a better view, he wants to know what you’re up to, and if you’re still trying to manipulate his crew.

“I’ve been told I have an atrocious singing voice.”

“It’s better than Wreckers.” Both Crosshair and Tech comment simultaneously. And Hunter hears you let out a half laugh. Some kind of reserved dainty thing that has him rolling his eyes.

“There was once a sailor, he had travelled the globe, his love he was chasing. oh lei, oh lai, oh lord.” You continue tapping again, “And there will come a captain who’s heart is completely pure, he will find those who are lost, oh lei,...” He hears you stop. As something catches your attention. And Hunter takes the opportunity to make an appearance.

You hear the captain’s footsteps before you turn your gaze away from the birds flying alongside the ship. “Who let the Aaray get a’ hold of a knife again?” He says looking down at you, the fruit and the blade. Hesitantly, and with only half of the Meilroon fruit peeled you give the knife back to Crosshair the same way he had originally given it to you. Pointing the handle towards him whilst gently holding the blade.

“I wasn’t going to…” You start.

“Going to what? Try and kill one of my crew again?” Hunter raises an eyebrow as if he’s daring you to disagree. You take a deep breath in, and hoist yourself onto shaky feet. Wrecker gives you a hand when your legs shake still in pain. Letting out your breath you lock eyes with the captain.

“I understand your hatred for that man,” You begin softly.

“No.” He snaps, “you don’t” You plead with his unforgiving eyes, and the way his half tattooed face scrunches in annoyance.

“You can’t be reasoned with.” You say hopelessly, knowing that whatever you say, it won't be enough.

“I should not have to reason with the likes of you.” Hunter bites. And at this point even Wrecker has given up trying to reason with him. Behind you, Tech’s Holopad beeps.

“I am not my Fiance!” You exclaim. “And yet you attribute all of his crimes to me, even the crime of trying to rid myself of Ny-”

Before you can react, Hunter moves fast as lightning, a hand on your throat, his own vibroblade dangerously close to you, bending you against the banister that stops you falling into the abyss alone. The three others brace themselves and when they move to help you, stop at the growl of anger from their sergeant.

“You do not. Say that name. On. My. Ship.” He tells the trembling woman beneath him.

“What happened to you Sergeant?” You breathe out, searching for the man that his brothers seem to think he is. Everything they tell you about him, every ‘he’s not like this.’ All of his actions point to the fact that he is like this. Something changes in his face, like he remembers where and who he is. And like Hunter is on fire, he steps away from you. The second there's room, Wrecker forces you behind him protectively.

“Sarge.” Tech says, his voice echoing like blaster fire in the mountains. “I think you should come with me.”

Tags: @the-mandalorian-clone-lover @peacefulwizardfox @rex-meshla @s1st37 @and-claudia @kamino-mermaid @thelambandthewolffe @starwarsmeninhelmets

@bronvin @myeternalsin @sweetsunflowerkisses @loverofclones @beizm @gunsmoke-blu

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@starskenobiwan @lordellbell @kaetavlos @violetjedisylveon @​​vergol @Lackofhonor

#tbb echo #tbb tech #tbb hunter x reader #tbb hunter #tbb sergeant hunter #sergreant hunter x you #sergeant hunter x reader #the bad batch series #sergeant hunter #hunter x reader #hunter clone #hunter x you #tbb wrecker #tbb crosshair #jessiebanethedragon #white sands warm the cold sea

[everything-laito]

In theory, if Laito was human, how do you think he would have turbed out instead? Because clearly in the supernaturals they don't seek help nor is it recommended. But for humans it is clearly recommended that you sort your issues out if you want to survive in the society. Laito would sinply be almost forced to see the error of his ways plus he would most likely be accused of harrassments and/or rape (I'd actually like a very long analysis on this because I find this an interesting concept lol)

Alrighty anon! I’ll try to make it a long one. Just the length usually varies with the ask but I’ll go as in depth as I can with this one as requested!

So let’s start off with the thing I’ve mentioned quite a bit on this blog: the power dynamic between Laito and Yui/his other victims. The reason why he has so much power on top of his mind games is that he is physically stronger than Yui by a LONG shot. There’s absolutely no way (that Yui sees) that she can physically beat him. So he takes advantage of that. Most abusers in real life do the same thing too: preying on weaker people. “Weak” in this sense can be weak mentally, emotionally, physically, or having weak connections (little or no connections with others). So from that point, Laito being human would definitely be a bit of a game changer, but if he’s as smart as a human as he is a vampire, he still has a lot of tricks up his sleeve.

I wouldn’t say that not seeking help is a vampire thing. We don’t know a lot about vampire culture who aren’t nobles. All the vampires in the game are higher class vampires. Although I’ve seen some characters be like “it’s a vampire thing,” I have an inkling that most characters (except Shu of course) haven’t interacted with people who aren’t nobles. Laito says that killing for vampires is how you express love, but the only people I’ve heard say that has been Laito and Cordelia (However please please correct me if I’m wrong on this), and we know that Laito gets a lot of his “morals” from Cordelia. We really don’t know a lot about vampire society like we think we do.

Same goes for people in real life, humans. The rich lead lives that are very different from most of us. A lot is kept hush hush about celebrities and rich people, not to mention that lifestyle must be very suffocating. On top of that, we still have a stigma in our societies today that therapy/getting emotional help is “bad.” I recently heard that my roommate’s brother said he wouldn’t go to therapy cuz it’s a “liberal thing.” Like bruh. No, getting therapy is not political. But we make it a political issue for some reason, despite it being there for everyone and we should normalize it as such. On top of that, many people brush off many rich people’s emotional health issues, because “they have money.” Sure money can get you a lot of things, but having that much money or at least those very high expectations can put a lot of different emotional stresses on someone.

So I believe it would still work for Laito in that manner. He’s nobility, and this seems like old fashioned nobility too. People having mental illnesses and getting treated for them was out of the question and taboo to talk about. Not to mention having a sexual abuse scandal. So I think that Laito would be coerced into not saying anything if he had the option of getting help somehow. I’m still unsure why he stayed silent about it. I don’t think he ever said why, but I have an inkling it’s because he didn’t want Ayato or Kanato to worry about him + he didn’t know how to say what happened + he didn’t know what was happening was bad. Those are my theories though.

I don’t think he’d be able to see the error of his ways because growing up in that family, he was very isolated. People higher up are still isolated from what happens to the lower classes, or simply just don’t care about it, or it’s just normalized. A big example is sexual abuse and harassment in the workplace done by CEOs of companies. Or sexual abuse scandals involving priests. Both are in positions of higher power and use that power to abuse. It’s more of a control fetish for them, and on top of that they weren’t taught to respect other people (specifically women and children). It doesn’t seem like the diaboy families are taught that, given their backgrounds. I’ve also mentioned before that it would be very very hard for Laito to get convicted of sexual harassment and assault in real life. I answered that part of this ask here which is also a lengthy ish doozy as well. Feel free to read the whole thing, but I’ll highlight htis paragraph here:

When it comes to real life, many people in power don’t get easily called out. That’s why the #MeToo movement was so amazing, because it gave sexual abuse victims a chance to stand up for themselves against their abusers who they were silenced by. When it comes to political and powerful figures, they definitely use hush money, blackmail, or other means to not let this information get out to “taint” its brand. Or even so, when it comes to any type of abuse, abusers know how to silence a lot of their victims so they don’t talk to anyone about this through manipulation. It’s a lot more nuanced than this.

So no, I don’t believe Laito would get convicted of his crimes, even if he was a human.

Hope that was long enough for you! If you would like me to elaborate on anything else or have any questions, please let me know!

#analysis #diabolik lovers #laito sakamaki #sakamaki laito #raito sakamaki #sakamaki raito #diabolik lovers analysis #dialover #dialovers #dialovers analysis #laito sakamaki analysis #ask corn

[unit-zero-two]

Queer Representation in 13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim

13 Sentinels was a game I picked up because the trailer looked neat. I had no clue what the gameplay was even like, I just felt adventurous. And I was rewarded with a fantastic game that constantly surprised me in the best possible ways. One of the ways I was surprised was in the actual textual existence of queer characters. Plural. And with a queer relationship developed and promoted prominently on screen between main characters.

Now, with the increase in queer media around the board, this alone isn’t worthy of praise. My enjoyment, and I suspect that of a lot of people, comes from the fact that there was no expectations or promises made, and yet the game still delivered. It was just there, causally, in a AAA game published by a decently well known studio. It’s a good example of what we’re asking for when asking for queer rep. It being allowed to casually exist and flavor games that aren’t just dedicated to telling these stories.

Like a lot of media if you go in expecting flawless queer representation suffusing every aspect of the game, you will be disappointed. This is a game with 15 main characters and most of the cast ends up in straight relationships. But not all of them. And past those relationships, there is still a queerness that is allowed to exist and be shown throughout this game that constantly impressed me.

I will work through the textual, on screen examples of queer representation one by one. There will be spoilers for this game in the post, so if that is something that you care about, please finish the game first before continuing. Due to the non-linear storytelling and gameplay nature of 13 Sentinels I can’t really set timestamps or anything. If you’re not done yet, but still curious to read, I personally feel like nothing I say here will ruin the experience for you. Through it’s strange nature, this is arguably a spoiler proof game and knowing what is to come can help you view the events in a different, but still enjoyable, light.

Textual Queer Representation in 13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim

The place for us to begin will be with one of the 13 playable characters, Takatoshi Hijiyama. Hijiyama is very much a young man defined by when he was raised in the story. 1945 Japan in the middle of WW2. He is nationalistic and proud of Japan, it’s culture and tries to stand for it’s values. While training to be a Sentinel pilot, he falls for the demure Kiriko Douji, daughter of the professor in charge of the project. His prologue begins with him following Kiriko and finding her operating a time travel system. Kiriko reveals three things: 1) she’s the real scientist behind the project, 2) her real name is Tsukasa Okino and 3) she is a he. Okino leaves 1945 and Hijiyama chases after him. What then follows is a very clear romance storyline as Hijiyama works though self-discovery of his sexuality, his internalized biases and some good old jealousy.

Throughout his story, Hijiyama shows attraction to Okino both dressed as a woman and as a man. It’s made clear that the clothes and gender presentation aren’t the main defining factor for his attraction to Okino. He also shows attraction to some of the girls, implying a sort of bisexuality. But in the end, Okino is the one he directs his attention and dedication. The pair even share a robot in the final battle.

Next we have Takatoshi Hijiyama...of 2188. Through a data log Hijiyama finds during his story he finds out that his self of 2188 was in a committed, queer relationship with Tsukasa Okino of 2188. The two openly express their love for each other in the logs, and Hijiyama 2188′s final words are to mourn the death of his lover. The game makes it very clear what their relationship is. And watching this is a turning point for Hijiyama and how he views Okino. Seeing the death of Okino 2188 shakes him, and hardens his resolve and love.

Tsukasa Okino is an interesting character for many reason. We see him first dressed as a woman. When asked about it, he comments “Let’s just say some binaries work for me, and others don’t.”. Throughout the story, Okino alternates between being dressed as a man and a woman. He’s a very practical person and expresses several times his thoughts on both forms of dress and the pros and cons he finds in wearing them. But he never says, “I’m actually a man/woman or I prefer to wear men’s/women’s clothing.” To him, both forms are equal and he switches between them as he feels like through the story. There is also a point in the epilogue where Okino reveals that he can hack into the simulation and change his gender if he wishes. He then offers to turn into a woman and to sleep with Hijiyama. This is a very confident offer made by someone secure in their identity and sexuality. Hijiyama is understandably flustered at the teasing.

Okino openly shows sexual attraction to Hijiyama, mostly presented as teasing jabs at him. As with 2188 Hijiyama, 2188 Okino is explicitly in a Queer relationship and openly affectionate in the data logs. For the most part, present day Okino is busy during the narrative trying to save everyone from the Kaiju, but still finds time to flirt with Hijiyama.

Hijiyama and Okino are the clearest in text examples, but there’s one other stand out example. Iori Fuyusaka. For the most part she spends her story being boy crazy and confused by strange dreams, but there are two interesting moments with her. The first is during the battle section. One of the scripted after battle sections plays and it’s Iori tripping and she scrapes her hand. Yuki Takamiya helps her up and puts a bandage on her hand. It is a very slow, very tender and very deliberate scene. After Yuki leaves, Iori blushes and comments, “Whoa, what the...why is my heart racing right now? Wait, does that mean...? But I didn’t think I was...I mean, what if...” This scene makes it very clear what Iori is feeling and what she is discovering about herself.

In another scene near the beginning of the game in Iori’s story, she’s looking for a cat. She comes across Juro and Shu talking to each other in secretive whispers and embarrassed blushes.

Shu: Just listen. This is a first for me too. You feel it, right?

Juro: ...

Shu: I want to pursue this with you. Please!

Juro: I dunno...it's just...

The edges of the background softens and the camera shifts to center them, soft music plays, and Iori blushes. While the scene itself is a pretty standard confused for gay joke, it’s interesting to see it from Iori’s point of view. When caught, she says:

"I, uh...umm...I think as long as you love each other...it's okay..."

Juro is embarrassed and corrects things. Shu just laughs and is amused by the idea of dating Juro.

Juro: Do you believe us [about our dreams]?

Iori: Well, actually...I'm more surprised to hear that's all it was. Cause, I thought...

She blushes and is interrupted by the bell ringing and class starting.

And in light of the scene with Yuki, it becomes interesting in reflection that her thoughts would go there so quickly. Whether she was conscious of it or not, Iori is very aware of the possibility of same sex attraction. Whether that’s clever foreshadowing or just a neat coincidence is mostly irrelevant.

Uh...that of course brings us to Yuki Takemiya. So...Yuki will get her own post. Because there’s a lot there. Most of which I would argue is heavy subtext. I love the character and her plotline, but it it would be stretching to say that she is textual queer representation. But there’s still a lot to talk about.

13 Sentinels is a game that deals in all variations of relationships; familiar, platonic and romantic, and it’s great that it included queer representation into the text like it did. Hijiyama and Okino gave us a romantic queer relationship, twice, and Iori gives us a Bi-Sexual character who while not in a relationship with a woman is still queer. And that’s always good representation.

#13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim #13 sentinels spoilers #iori fuyusaka #takatoshi hijiyama #tsukasa okino