#clamp theme: non human characters

[koushirouizumi]

When Ichiro Mihara said "Having children isn't all there is to life, and its not the only reason for loving someone. Happiness comes in different forms and different ways" and Freya asks Elda "What is Happiness?" and Kohaku explains how Kohaku wants to stay by Shuuichirou's side even if Shuuichirou decided not to love Kohaku "because I'm sure that Shuuichirou will become my {Special Person} Again" but then Kohaku says "If that person's happiness is not to live with you, though it's sad and hard, but, thats certainly better than that person not being happy" and then explains how those feelings are contained "right {here}" in the heart and then then Shuuichirou 5th(??) says "I'm sure an angel's wish {for Happiness} would be granted" and then Chii says Chii's 'happiness' is with Hideki, even if Hideki cannot ever have penetrative sex with Chii, and then Tomoyo says "The greatest happiness for me is to let the person I most like have the most happiness" about Sakura, who is realizing Sakura's own love for Xiaolang, and then Hideki also said "I don't love Chii because 'I wanted' to 'make love' to {Chii}. 'I wanted' to 'make love' to {have sex with} Chii because I love {Chii}." And then Chitose wrote a whole picture book about it, a "fairy tale" Chitose wrote "in the hope that all precious children could find happiness" and Zima asked Dita "but if {they} don't have a soul, what then?" and then Kobato realized Kobato's happiness was Fujimoto anyway and then wished to live together with Fujimoto and then Haruka Domeki recounts the {Chou no Yume} or "Butterfly's Dream" story and hinted of a 'someone' totally not Watanuki "Maybe the man I am now is a dream that a butterfly is having" and then Domeki says to Watanuki "but the one Kohane cares about most is you" and then Yuuko says "Domeki just didn't want you {Watanuki} to disappear forever" and then Domeki says "There are things I care about" to Watanuki with a very pointed stare and then Watanuki is realizing "I'll do whatever I can because I want to be here" and then Yuuko says "My wish is for you {Watanuki} to go on existing. That's all I want", A.K.A, Yuuko's happiness and then Sakura asks "What is Happiness {to You?}" to "Cristaux" {"Kaito"} who is trapped in the form of a dragon, a non-human being and then the butterfly obi-wearing, definitely not a dream!Yuuko tells Watanuki "You are human, just like {Xiaolang}/{Tsubasa}" after Watanuki asks in despair "Am I human?" because Watanuki realized Watanuki only ever 'met' "this shop's customers, the dead, and the spirits" and then butterfly obi Yuuko responded "No, this is Not a Dream" and then the Zashiki Warashi's look-alike 'human' shop customer exclaimed to Watanuki, "In the dream, there's also, with a buttefly obi, an extraordinarily beautiful {person} with long hair!!" "{They're trying to kill me!!}" and then Ichiro Mihara helpfully added "Even if a {combination}/{of people}, looks a bit 'odd' on the outside... they can still be happy on the inside." and then

#koushirouizumi clamp #koushirouizumi holic #koushirouizumi ccs #koushirouizumi wish #koushirouizumi trc #koushirouizumi clamp chatter #c: watanuki #c: doumeki #douxwata #c: sakura #c: tsubasa #c: zashiki lookalike #c: butterfly obi yuuko #c: ichiro #c: kohaku #c: kaito #c: tomoyo #c: haruka #clamp theme: non human characters #ace watanuki #ace kaito #ace tomoyo #ace chii #ace kohaku #ace kobato #aspec doumeki #queer doumeki #queer tomoyo #(I can do this joke-post Thats Not Actually Quite Joke-Post Too!!!! {Maybe To Be R.Bed Elsewhere when Less Angry at Fan bases}) #(i pROMISE IM GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THIS I HAVENT Forgotten my C.L.A.M.P Spam but Its Almost Done For Now & I Cry)

[ceasarslegion]

I've never watched Beastars but it's like "the furry anime" right? But not actually hentai... I mean it's on Netflix like seemed maybe less controversial than some CLAMP stuff.

Im a big beastars fan and it does have a lot of sexual themes, but its also very clearly labeled as an adult anime and manga. Like its not for kids, netflix rates it as mature and i find all the manga in the adult section of the graphic novels shelf at the library.

Essentially, its about a society where all animals (other than fish and insects) evolved into humanoids with human intelligence, but its still divided along the lines of predators and prey. It plays with ideas of what a society like this would look like, and how carnivores would have to coexist with herbivores despite their very real need to consume animal protein, and if insects and eggs and dairy products would really be enough for them. And how things get even more complicated when you take into account various sizes of different animals and how some need more protein than others, and how some would have more traditionalist upbringings than others. The main character is legosi, a large grey wolf who falls in love with a small dwarf rabbit, haru. They go to a non-segregated high school and are 17 and 18, respectively. Legosi has a very strong sense of justice and is very timid and mild-mannered and gentle, which is the opposite of whats expected of him as a member of the largest canidae species. He does bare his fangs a lot, but really only to protect others.

Theres a lot more in it, like a black market for real herbivore meat frequented not by gang members but respectable office workers and a lion pride mafia family, and the "beastar" that gives the series its name refers to a title given to a young up-and-coming animal who fosters unity and peaceful coexistence among carnivores and herbivores. Beastars go on to become CEOs, politicians, celebrities, etc.

So yes, it is a furry anime, but the narrative is really interesting and well thought-out imo. Theres even moments like when jack, a labrador retriever, is told that he shouldnt be hanging out with hyenas and wolves even if theyre all canidae because his species is not like those other carnivores.

I also really like the first op:

#ramblings

[noa-ciharu]

I just find funny that apparently everybody got to JR and SIH at some point and I just took a look at the drawing style and noped out of it XD I got into yaoi first by getting into slash drarry fic, and then realizing there was manga (which I was just getting into) (which included reading everything clamp bc I got into manga looking for the true ending of trc anime) which went into the themes. So I bet I read TB and X before much else xD But I was already heading down into Tom riddle fics so like, fic was my fall into dark angsty and manga my enabler. I remember vividly kuroshitsuji, which isn't a bl by any means but has the aesthetics and dark tone. Also kaze to ki no uta, the whole 12 chapters there were translated back then. More like I keep getting into stories with bl than bl stories per se. Old shojo is where is at.

Hahahaha tbf early manga chaps looked very messy. I mean, we don't have yaoi hands memes for nothing

Yea

But JR season 1 aired in 2008, SIH in 2011 I think so that type of BL was crazy popular back in the day. In 2012 or 2013 it was the first BL I stumbled upon so...

Honestly the earlier you get into clamp (usually via trc -> xxxholic - > tb/x pipeline), the sooner you start craving more complexity in works and generally portal of relationships in fiction (even non romantic relationships). And angst usually enables that bc when everything is sweet and fluffy there's only as much depth as you can get into. Cuz at the end of the day, humans are complex beings, emotions aren't always rational nor 'pure'. We all have flaws which are hard to get over, hence reading works about deeply flawed characters can feel cathartic (like Kuroshituji as you mentioned; I'd rather take deeply messed up and flawed main characters like Ciel than 10 shonen protags)

I've heard of kaze to ki no uta as a classic but never actually read it. If it's just 12 chaps long then I rly ought to pick it up when I have time. And complete agree on preferring stories that happen to be BL over BL stories, I'm like that too. Perhaps that's why animes like YOI or Banana fish were far better received than your typical BL stories

#thanks for ask #i rly should read more old shojo...

[revenant-dumpster-fire]

Warm (Revenant x Reader)

Theme: Reader comforts Revenant after a somewhat brutal loss in a duos match as Revenant becomes concerned with his image.

Warnings: Mentions of mania, mentions of depression, mentions of suicide, threats of violence, graphically described violence, pain, sharp objects, borderline sexual fluff.

Reader's Notes: Revenant (Apex Legends) x Reader, reader is non-gendered in this chapter, this is getting romantic but hasn't crossed the line quite yet, reader will eventually have to be gendered (but I'll hold off as long as possible).

Writing Notes: Compliments give me fuel. Lot of development this chapter, more characters. I feel like this is increasingly revealing of who I am as a person, so I'm glad I'm anonymous.

Navigation:

First Chapter | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

The Apex Games are brutal. It's a miracle these people can be suspended in death boxes and sewn or pieced back together after what happens to them. You've heard murmurs that some of the visual brutality is simulated by an AI for the cameras while the much less damaged person is imprisoned in a deathbox, but you are not so sure of that. It looks too real, and the Legends seem way too accustomed to pain and morbid destruction for it not to be. You are desensitized to a lot of gore and snuff yourself, but you've come to know the Legends just well enough to shudder when they are disemboweled in front of you. When you first started volunteering to help, you remembered being endlessly relieved the first time you saw them all return from the medical ward.

Even though you know they will likely be fine, you whimper as Bloodhound takes an apparently fatal blow from the favorites for this duos match: Loba and Bangalore. It isn't very often that random chance creates such an iconic duos pair, but it's happening today and the cameras are loving it. The cameras have been so fixated on these two that you haven't seen night or day out of Revenant. According to the trackers on the screen, Revenant is still in the game, but his teammate--Fuse--was knocked out of the match early on. Knowing those two, they likely agreed to drop hot--in an area with lots of combatants. While it's a good way to get kills, it's also an ideal way to get killed. From previous matches, you have the impression Revenant will drop hot if his teammate or teammates agree, but he won't do so otherwise. Fuse is absolutely the type to agree to dropping hot. You worry for Fuse even though you are certain he will be back tomorrow or soon thereafter, ready for more.

Loba and Bangalore have used their combined skills to gather long-range sniper weapons and considerable kills so far this match. Bangalore is able to use her abilities to create confusion and draw combatants out from cover, and Loba could create or close distances with her warp band while also gathering excessive amounts of high-level weaponry, mods, and armor to make them all the more terrifying. They pulled ahead early in the game, and now they feel unstoppable. The cameras watch as they run across Olympus' beautifully groomed grass towards the next team to victimize.

You feel like you're not doing what you should be doing. Did Revenant really just want you to watch the match today? Shouldn't you do something helpful?

You get yourself to the edge of the bed, hop up, and start to make it. It was so perfect when you hopped in yesterday, you want to try to make it equally as perfect. Your legs no longer hurt, and you feel well-rested despite Revenant's creepily watchful eyes. You take a deep breath, stretch backwards, and get to making the bed. You will have to go to your volunteer bunk and change soon. You wonder if you will have to move out of the volunteer area--even though it's small and cramped, it's been your home for a few years now. Your coworkers feel more like roommates, varying from cool but introverted to outgoing but overbearing. You like all of them, and you have the unusual standing as one of the longest-running volunteers, staying through off and on seasons to keep things functioning. You don't want to lose them, or the only home you've known for a few years.

Gunshots ring out on the television, Loba and Bangalore are taking shots at another team fight from afar. You see the symbol for Lifeline pop up as knocked, then eliminated. Caustic's name pops up next. Finally, Revenant came up as knocked, but not eliminated. You can't help but panic just a little, but Revenant apparently had a self-revive and is moving again, fleeing the area as Loba gives vicious chase trying to make up the distance from sniping. Revenant is in bad shape, he has been fighting solo for a while, and Loba knows he is practically a free kill at this point. You're afraid this is going to turn into another Loba versus Revenant fight, a favorite of the audience due to how ruthless they both are with each other. You don't like them fighting. You don't like seeing Loba be nearly beheaded or gutted, and you don't like seeing Revenant be slowly but surely tortured to death. There is no alternative ending with those two. It's always violent, and Revenant doesn't stand much of a chance at this rate. He clearly knows that.

You stare at the television breathlessly, trying to make the bed without looking away. Loba is hunting, and Revenant is unable to keep enough distance. In a last gambit, Revenant manages to break line of sight, launching his silencer into the doorway of a bunker and then intentionally running into the opposing bunker. Loba falls for it, as she makes an immediate path for the bunker with the silencer, opting to take the back door. It buys Revenant enough time to use a Pheonix Kit, a piece of equipment that restores his shields and health completely for a much fairer fight.

Hell is about to break loose.

You plop down on the bench having finished the bed, unable to look away. Loba and Revenant meet eyes from within each bunker through the small windows on each side. Loba looks infuriated at his newly rejuvenated state. Revenant's look is too intense to be smug, it truly is a mechanical malice undescribable by any other terminology. These two loathe each other. The spectators roar in excitement at another bloodbath between the lovely but deadly master thief and her mechanical antagonist, the commentators giving a short review of the last time these two met on the battlefield.

Revenant, now unafraid of the odds, immediately dashes to close the gap between their bunkers. Loba flings her warp band in his direction, landing behind him, and immediately getting two Mastiff slugs in his back. You cringe at the sight. Revenant turns to meet her fire with his Volt, but Bangalore's lobbed smokescreen fills the area before his shots meet. Bangalore had been lagging behind Loba, but she was close enough now to take shots again. You hear Loba's Mastiff take a number of more shots in the smokescreen, the Volt returning fire. Bangalore calls in her Rolling Thunder, cascading aerial bombardment all throughout the smokescreen. Revenant manages to break free of the now-fading smokescreen, trying to escape the explosives, but it was clearly Bangalore's intent for him to do so. With her well-equipped Longbow, she manages to snipe Revenant, knocking him to his knees.

Loba was soon looming over him, waiting for the camera to catch up. The crowd chants and screeches waiting for the gore. There are no microphones on the Legends themselves, but you can tell that Revenant is cursing her as she comes over to finish him. You wince, you don't want to watch this, but you feel you have to.

Loba kicks his head hard enough to knock out any human opponent, sending him to the ground. His mask is cracked open, revealing the copper lining underneath and the wiring for his optics. He stays grounded, glaring at her with an unspeakably vicious hatred. He faces his demise with just as much malice as he had moments earlier, perhaps even more. She goes in for a direct stomp, plunging the five-inch tall heel of her shoe into and through Revenant's left optic. You grimace at the horror of it, wanting to cover your face to escape the imagery. Revenant's body lurches backwards and writhes in pain, grabbing aimlessly at his face, screaming so loudly that the drone camera picks it up as his vocalizations crack and become inundated with static.

Revenant isn't eliminated. Revenant is treated differently than the human and more finite combatants. His deaths are of no consequence, so he isn't protected from them. He can just come back, over and over. So the cameras roll and he's left to suffer whenever it makes for better television. The most bloodthirsty fans have always loved this double-standard, but you are beginning to revile it more by the moment.

Loba spits on him, taking a moment to parade to the crowd her triumphant moment. Revenant's last remaining optic is dimming uncontrollably, but is still locked on her when she returns to finish the job. They lock eyes for a moment. You don't know the details--nobody does--but it's clear they have some kind of history where all the hatred stems from. Revenant looks away in acceptance of his defeat, and his neck is immediately clamped down on by her heels. With a single twist of her leg, the cracking noise of his head being forcibly freed from his torso rings out. You want to vomit.

Revenant is only now considered eliminated, his husk of a chassis lying nearly in two pieces, his head twisted perpendicular to his torso. The crowd is absolutely ablaze. Loba reaches down, tearing the scarf off his head and holding it triumphantly in the air, looking as if she just scalped her kill. Bangalore shies away from the cameras herself, she's clearly ready to move on. Loba revels in the violence, just like Revenant does, but there is something especially malicious between them.

You feel the nausea taking hold even stronger. Revenant is someone you know now. He's shown you kindness, and you've become very fond of him. You can't say you know him extremely well, granted, but well enough to feel empathy for his pain. Watching him essentially have his skull broken, eye gouged, and neck severed is a lot to take. You could literally see the excruciating pain in his body language when his eye was stomped out. They shouldn't allow it. The moment a human life is in danger they get deathboxed. Only now that Revenant's body is dead and vacated of all living code, as well as the audience thoroughly satiated, does Revenant's corpse get deathboxed. He managed to fight his team all the way to seventh place alone. Loba and Bangalore continue on, the cameras lovingly cataloging their sweep.

You get up and turn off the television, sheepishly use your new ID to leave the room, and head to the volunteer bunks. It's the middle of the day, so nobody is around. A note on your bunk reads "Worried about you! Let me know when you get back. -Sherry". You scribble back, "Sorry Sherry, had a special request I had to run, need to talk later. Text me." and place it on her bunk. Sherry is the de facto leader of the volunteers, here since day one of season one. You know each other well. She doesn't pry often, but disappearing for a night is really out of character for you, so you don't mind it this once. She will know if you're allowed to stay in the volunteer bunks or not. You gather your things, just in case, and haul them to Revenant's room. You only have a single duffel bag of clothes and toiletries to your name. It has been that way since you found yourself on the streets years ago. It's easy enough to carry, but some amount of sadness still lingers in you as you haul your only worldly possessions in a single bag. The Apex Games gives you year-round work in exchange for a place to live rent-free. The Legends who tip well basically keep you at a decent wage for the hours. So despite not having much to your name in terms of assets, you now have a bank account with enough value to move on if absolutely necessary.

You use the badge to open Revenant's door. It dings satisfactorily, and you dump your bag on the floor. You're not leaving the area until he's back. You already decided. You're in some stage of denial after watching him die, but simultaneously you cannot be in denial if he always comes back. You shake your head, the nausea fights for its throne in your gut. You grab a change of clothes out of the bag and head to the bathroom in the far left corner of the room.

As you enter, you see a mostly untouched bathroom, spare for a strangely out-of-place comb, shaving cream, an old-fashioned razor blade, and the mirror smeared opaque with dried suds--likely from the shaving cream. None of those items make sense. Not a single one. Why was the mirror so filthy? Why did a simulacrum have shaving or hair brushing tools? You consider that it might be a coping mechanism, but that doesn't explain the mirror. Whatever, you'll clean it in a second. No need to make a big deal out of it all.

Halfway through changing, you lose your battle with nausea. You don't have anything in your stomach, a fact you quickly realize as you lurch over the toilet. Just stomach acid. What a violent and terrible death. You know he feels just as a human does, it's not his fault he isn't as fragile. It's so unfair. You stand tall, having expelled the worst of it. You finish putting on your "I'm not feeling it" shirt, and make a quick orbit to the duffel and back, picking up your toothbrush, toothpaste, and mouthwash. You clean out your mouth thoroughly, trying to fight off the taste of acid.

You finish up, leaving your oral care items behind to take your dirty clothes to the laundry room and grab some mirror cleaning supplies while there. Since you know how to fully clean down a room, you figure it is within your ability to completely clean Revenant's room. Maybe Fuse's too, these cleans tend to be quick and efficient when you perform them.

• • • •

"Hey, oh my gosh, where were you last night?" The text comes in as you're hauling the cleaning supplies to Fuse's room. It's early afternoon, you'll be done with this before it even begins to get dark.

"Hey, sorry, I had a special request. I didn't mean to worry anyone. I'm cleaning Fuse's room now." You text back, hoping Sherry will meet you here and help wrap up even faster.

"OMW" The text comes in only moments after.

After a few minutes, you hear Fuse's door open. Sherry is a petite blonde woman in her early twenties. Despite her longer, curly hair, she is otherwise not too dissimilar looking from Wattson, her favorite Legend. They have a good relationship apparently, Wattson regularly jokingly adding "request for mon Sherry" to her requests, a play on "mon cherie" in French.

"I didn't see a request for Fuse to have his room cleaned, did you delete it from the system?" Sherry was always on-task.

"Oh, sorry, no, I kinda needed something to do." You look up from changing the bed sheets, "Do you mind giving me a hand?"

"Sure, but there are tons of requests you could have taken, why make one up?" She walks to the opposite side of the bed, nabs the sheet, and looks up, locking sights on your ID.

Her shock is immediate and silent. You notice that she has noticed.

"How did you get that..." She trails off, her head clearly running at max capacity with various theories.

"Revenant gave it to me." You answer blankly. "I don't know what to do."

Sherry stares, her expression becoming increasingly appalled and concerned.

"What... what happened last night? You didn't like... "earn" that, right? I mean, you didn't trade for it, did you?" Her expression grimaces further. "Does he even have the parts for that...?"

You suddenly realize what she's saying, and wave your hands to snap her attention.

"No! Nothing like that! He sees me so often he wanted a personal lackey instead." You see her expression soften for a moment before it snaps back.

"Then where were you last night?"

"Wha--?"

"You heard me, where were you then?"

You stare at the floor, unsure if you can lie so blatantly to her. She stares at you for a moment.

"One moment you're depressed, then next thing I know you're manic, then you disappear for a day and a half. Is this some kind of new suicide plot you have? Seduce a murder robot?" She seems genuinely worried.

"I promise it's not like that! I was exhausted! I accidentally fell asleep when I brought him water--"

"Why did nobody call the paramedics? If you passed out, you should have been given a health check! Why didn't that robot call anyone?" She genuinely cared about you, she was a good friend, through and through.

"Uh, well, I kinda slept in his bed."

Her face went from worry to one of shock and morbid concern. Her knees buckled for a moment and rectified themselves as she cartoon-ishly tried to process her thoughts.

"You see, I guess he's taken a liking to me, and he saw how tired I was, so--"

"So you slept with him just so you could get a break? You should have just asked for time off! You never take it! I would have given it to you!" She was clearly upset.

"It didn't happen like that!" She had a tendency to catastrophically think, so her mind was already five steps ahead of you in the worst possible timeline. If you could stop it now, hopefully it wouldn't continue.

"Wait, why are we changing Fuse's sheets? How many robots and people have you slept with?!" she dropped the sheets at a complete loss. Too late to stop her mental train, it was already off the rails and burning in a ditch.

"Sherry! Pay attention! I didn't do anything with anybody. I just passed out in Revenant's bed, and he decided not to kill me but promote me instead because he's Revenant and he does what he wants, even when it makes no sense to anybody. I didn't even see Fuse yesterday, I just figured I'd clean his room since both him and Revenant took a heck of a loss today." You didn't often get loud, so when you did it tended to garner attention.

Sherry sighed.

"Yeah, that sounds more like the truth than my insane theory." She rests her face in her palms for a moment. "So, uh, I guess you and Revenant are friends now?"

"Subordinate or lackey is probably a better term, but he actually is nice to me! Aside from all the threats..." You trail off, wondering if he means it or if he simply is keeping up his persona.

"Well, congratulations on becoming the homicidal robot's plaything?" She wasn't wrong. Actually, her term was probably more accurate. "Please don't get murdered. I didn't get you out of that homeless shelter just to deliver you into the hands of a bloodthirsty robot with a fascination for evisceration. I'll feel so bad if you die..." She trails off, catastrophic thoughts ablaze. "Just quit!" She perks up with her solution.

"He's not going to kill me, and if he does, it's not your fault. I'm choosing to do this."

She sighs, and starts making the bed with clean sheets, unsure of how to argue, or if the argument is worthwhile.

Sherry was the one you reached out to when you heard that you could work for the Apex Games in return for a bed, bathroom, food, and basic healthcare. She picked you up at the homeless shelter, and helped forge some fake credentials on your resumé at the time. She cleared you herself, pretending as if she never met you before and calling your previous "boss" who was actually just a very confused telemarketer, resulting in getting you the place and position you have now. You've always thought she's an upstanding person; her maternal instincts sometimes getting in the way of her letting people make their own choices freely though. She felt like an older sister to you.

"Please tell me you're at least getting paid. Without the tips from the other Legends, how are you going to keep saving up?" She asked weakly, finishing up by fluffing the pillows.

"Uh, well, I haven't asked yet... I actually meant to ask if I have a room still." You answered, a bit dumbfounded you hadn't considered that before.

"What?! Did you think this through at all?" She burst, but quickly softened, "Of course you still have a room, there should be a door in the back of every Legend's room with the same kind of bunks as we have. Those are for you special folks. It has a bathroom and everything."

"Ah, good, I kinda wish I could stay with you guys, but..."

"...but your new robot-boyfriend is calling you?" She breaks her melancholy with ruthless teasing, just like an older sister. "Yeah, I'll need the space for a new volunteer, definitely."

"I figured as much. Always running on short-handed here." You're a little relieved the choice is made for you.

"So, I'm guessing you now have all Revenant requests, now and forever?" She chuckles a bit. "You somehow take the biggest demotion and consider it a promotion. I can't believe you like dealing with that guy."

You banter back and fourth, finishing up Fuse's room. It'll be nice for him to come back to a clean room, especially considering how his match went that morning. Sherry promises to come around this part of the building more to keep an eye on you, swearing she will kick Revenant's ass if he does "whatever murder-bots do". You go your separate ways, laughing at each other's stupid quips.

• • • •

There is a door at the back of the room. Sherry was right. It is intentionally made to camouflage into the wall, as well as the scanner that opens it. You hold your ID up to it, hear the positive chirp, and the door slides open to reveal a nice small room and bathroom. It's a private bedroom embedded within Revenant's. The door now freely slides like a pocket door to open and close, apparently you only need to activate it once to get access. A nice little bed, a nice little dresser, and a nice little bathroom! It reminds you of a super tiny hotel room, everything is compact but still a notable step up from shared bunks. You breathe deeply, inhaling the smell of a fresh new room. You haul your duffel bag in and toss it into a little cubby under the mattress, and boom, you're moved in! So easy!

Revenant still isn't back yet though. You wonder how long it will take for his new chassis to activate and return here. You wish so badly to know how he is doing, but it is impossible to know. You grabbed some snacks from the kitchen alongside dinner with Sherry, so you have food to stress-binge on if necessary. You figure laying down for the night can't hurt. So you hit the lights in Revenant's room, leaving it to only be lit by the rising moonlight overhead through the skylight. You sneak into your little cubby of a room, flipping the lights off as you slide the door shut behind you. You don't have any skylight, in fact, your ceiling was about 6 feet or so shorter than his, making it much more average. Granted, his room is massive, but you are happy with your tiny private closet. It is so cool.

You fall back in the bed. Soft as can be. Same as his.

Sleep takes you very quickly.

• • • •

You wake up to an inhuman screeching. You jolt up, making yourself panic further as you check your surroundings and recall where you are. You're alone in the little bedroom, the screaming is from the other side of the door, in Revenant's main room. It echoes in a uncanny valley between human despair and mechanical detune. You leap out of bed and rush to open the door to see what is wrong.

The door slides open and you see Revenant, his mask and jaw tilting in opposite directions to replicate an open mouth, revealing a disturbingly black void where his mouth would be, no headscarf, howling in some kind of agony under the moonlight. It sounds so sad, so sorrowful. The pocket door clicks as it reaches its full open position, and Revenant's eyes lock on as soon as the sound is registered. His instincts are instantaneous. His howl slowly fades as he uses up what's left in his artificial lungs, his eyes never breaking from yours. The sorrow leaves him, his jaw slowly closes, and his stature returns for a moment.

"Are you okay?!" You ask him.

He hides is face and his body motions like a person who is sobbing for a few moments, but he doesn't. He couldn't even if he wanted. He regains himself quickly, walking up to you blankly.

"Hey, uh, are you oka--?"

"Keep me warm, skinsuit." His voice shakes as he pulls you into him in an embrace.

He is extremely cold, but his metal parts start to sap your body heat immediately. He is alive. He is new, but alive. You wrap your arms around his small abdomen, slipping under the pistons that hold up his large torso. You squeeze harder than you mean to, giving away that you are genuinely worried about him.

"I thought you left." He admits shakily, still not wholly able to hide his emotions. "I didn't..." He trails off. He places his hand on your head, messing with your hair a bit, until you gaze up at him. He looks down at you in the eye and you see something familiar. Disbelief. "You stayed."

You don't have words. Words mean nothing anyway in moments like this. You squeeze him tighter and he winces a little. You realize his abdomen is probably the least protected area of his body, and even you might be able to hurt him with the wrong touch. You lean forward and bury your face into it anyway, you're pretty sure you can feel a pouch through the leather skin that acts as a stomach receptacle, but you're not sure.

Revenant's body shakes a little like he cannot hold back tears, but as a simulacrum, he has none. You hear a sorrowful moan instead that is quickly stifled. Despite his persona, he has a very human personality.

"Come, keep me warm." He pulls you away for a moment so he can move again, then grabs your wrist and pulls you to the bed. The bed he never used. "It's easier with insulation." He rips the blanket off of it, wrapping it around you both in one sweeping movement, and sitting on the edge, pulling you down with him.

Your face flushes hot red. This is unlike him. He notices, and you swear you see a little bit of a pink glow on him too. He definitely had been flush during his stunt on live TV before joining the games. Insane to think they built that functionality into a mask. He grunts and breaks eye contact.

"Don't look at me like that, I'm just cold." He pulls you into his lap before you can say anything in response. "I have an easier time cooling down with fans than I do heating up. I'd have to run really stressful code to do that and using you is so much easier."

He redirects you to face away from him, and as soon as you do he sucks you in as close to him as you can. You're practically inside of his giant, looming frame. His breath rattles a little in his artificial lung pumps. His hands grapple around your hands while holding the blanket taut, holding them in balled fists and trading his cold for your heat. His vocalizer sounds as if it's giving a deep growl, closer to a purr, almost too soft to be heard, but not quite.

His new chassis smells a little more like plastics, metal shavings, and leather than the previous one, which had been muddled with the scent of dirt, grass, and polish. It's so cold, he must have only just made it inside. You wonder how far he had to run to get back here.

His head lowers to rest his face into your shoulder. You rest your head back on his. For a moment, this creature is just the same as you. Human.

He stays there, humming and purring and enjoying the moment. His body is no longer cold at all, he is now reflecting your heat back at you and feels warm himself. You carefully turn your head and push your face into the side of his mask where his ears would be. His head perks up a little for a moment, just long enough to catch his dumbfounded expression and pinkening cheekbones before his face retreats into your shoulder again. He squeezes you close, grappling your fists as if to never let go.

You sit there for a while, until finally you feel his cooling fans click to life. He lifts his head off your shoulder.

"Thank you." He says as he releases you. He looks away, clearly trying to hide from your gaze. You don't get up. You keep staring in his direction, hoping he will give in and turn to you. But you are both stubborn.

After a long while, you stand up in surrender, but place your hand on his unclothed head, petting it once, just for good measure. His hand rises to cover his face.

"Please go back to bed, I'm sorry for scaring you." He says in an abnormally low baritone, trying to hide himself further.

You surrender. It isn't worth prying away his façade when he isn't ready. He had already shown different colors than he did most of the time. This was scary, but in an unexplored territory sort of way. You weren't giving this exploration up after a single expedition. So it is best to rest up and not overextend.

You retreat into your little closet of a room, sliding the door gently shut. The moment it shuts completely, you hear Revenant move around rapidly. He's normally so silent. You recline into your bed, happy to be as warm as you are. You fall asleep almost instantly.

• • • •

You wake up, no idea what time it is. The room doesn't have a clock, maybe a bit of an oversight on the decorator's part. You get up, lurk over to the bathroom, and start performing your daily routine. Brush the teeth immediately, get the gross overnight flavor out of it. Strip and shower, thankfully there are already towels in the bathroom. Brush your hair while still damp after trying to get it as dry as possible with your towel. Deodorant. Grab your clothes. You put on something a bit nicer than yesterday. Finally, you're ready for whatever.

You waltz over, and knock on the door to make sure he won't be startled.

Instead, you hear a surprised grunt, scraping metal, and hushed curses against the door. You quickly go to open it, thinking he may be hurt, but the door is locked. You hesitate, dumbfounded. The Legends can lock people in like prisoners if they want to. Your attention snaps back as you hear the lock disengage, and the door flies open before you can move it. Revenant faces you, somehow looking a little disheveled.

"Were you outside my door the entire night...?" You ask, still fairly shocked.

"Doesn't matter." He absolutely was. He spoke hurriedly, potentially a little embarrassed. But he recovers his slow speaking pace quickly. "I should have just let myself in, I feel like I missed a great episode. Do you know what you said last night? Some pretty exciting gibberish."

"So you were against the door all night."

"Dammit, skinsuit!" He throws his arms up and turns away from you, towering over the doorway too short for him to enter comfortably. "You should have just slept out here. You know I get bored."

"I didn't think you wanted me to, you acted like you didn't."

"Well, I didn't really care!" He cared immensely, apparently. "I just needed something entertaining to keep my mind off yesterday." He crossed his arms, and began to meander over to the computer desk.

"I'm sorry, I wish you had told me."

"I was in a bad mood, just forget about it. It's fine." He tapped away at the computer, letting out a depressed sigh. "That scene from yesterday has all of Loba's fans riled up. They're posting it everywhere." He covers his face with his hands for a moment, motioning in embarrassment. "I can't believe I let that happen. I would have been better off letting Caustic gas me earlier."

"You were outnumbered, you did the best--"

"I'm getting my damn scarf back." He refused your comforting words, flinging himself to his feet and trudging out the door in a huff. You go to follow, but he whirls around, pointing straight to you, locking you in a glare. "You stay away from Loba, understand?"

He pauses, waiting to hear your reply.

"Uh, okay, I'll try to stay away from her."

While not an entirely satisfactory answer, Revenant whips back and disappears from sight. You sigh aloud. If those two have some kind of long-running hatred for each other, it would probably be best if you didn't get in the middle of it.

You peer over to the computer. He's right, Loba standing over his dead chassis holding up the scarf is everywhere. Loba fans are absolutely enamored by the triumphant image. Revenant fans openly mourn, swearing revenge. Loba and Bangalore apparently took the win, finally fighting down the second place team of Wattson and Rampart. Sherry will be miffed that Wattson had the spotlight and win taken from her. Although, now knowing you're on team Revenant, she probably will spare you any of her rants.

You stare at the image. It makes you overwhelmingly sad. Right before that snapshot was taken, Revenant was in unspeakable pain. The scream you heard on the broadcast echos in your head. It was one born of pain: strong, violent, and sharp until the static began to overwhelm it. The screeches you woke up to last night were not the same. They were mournful: hollow, airy, and almost melodic in their melancholy. Revenant can feel great pain, but clearly has some kind of appreciation for warmth and a kindly embrace. Why didn't others see that? Why does he have to suffer so much more, just because he is a simulacrum?

You close the browser. It messes with you. The imagery makes you upset. You feel you might vomit again if you're not careful.

You're snap back to attention at a commotion outside in the hallway. You peer out in the general direction of the other Legends' rooms.

"Fuck. You." Revenant's voice is so low it could rattle someone's bones. Fuse is standing in front of him, but Revenant is speaking beyond him to Loba, holding the scarf.

"It's my trophy. I'm a master thief, I don't just give things back." Loba proudly holds it in front of her face.

Fuse tries to keep Revenant at a fair distance from her, but Loba is standing her ground, completely unafraid.

"Woah now, come on, we don't need to settle this here and now." Fuse is attempting to keep the peace.

Revenant's growls can be heard from down the hallway, a number of volunteers have stopped to avoid getting too close, and a couple Legends are peering out their doors. The extra attention is displeasing to Revenant.

"Fine, but you will regret this." He starts to back off, prepared to fight another day, but Loba is relentless.

"Not if you want anything from me. Including that source code." Only now is she content to click her heels and turn away, Revenant suddenly looking like he lost the fight.

"Geeze, mate, do you really have to be so aggressive all the time?" Fuse gasps in a sigh of relief, addressing Revenant. "And I think I come on strong--you're a whole 'nother level!" He is already beaming a smile from under his moustache again, chuckling at his own joke.

Revenant shoots him a scowl for a moment, then turns back to you and begins to come back to the room, scarfless.

Fuse keeps pace with him as you retreat back inside, not sure if you should stay out of their way or not. You instinctively dive in behind the bed, staying low as not to be seen. You hear them come around the corner.

"Wait a minute, mate, I wanted to apologize." Revenant is already in the room, turning around to face Fuse who is standing in the doorway. You stay hidden behind the bed, nearly on the floor, listening in on their conversation. "That wasn't my best work out there yesterday. I feel like if I had been there, maybe you wouldn't have, uh..." He trailed off, his point was clear. "Listen, I'll talk to her, see if I can get 'yer scarf back. I don't want there to be any hard feelings."

Revenant's breathing pattern and low growl sounds like he is about to explode, and Fuse knows it too.

"Oh hey! They cleaned your room too!" His diffuses can be surprisingly effective. "Heh, I didn't even ask and apparently they decided to be like mum and make sure it got done whether I liked it or not."

Revenant hadn't actually noticed until now. He turns to look into the room. He peers across the way, seeing the bathroom mirror is reflective again.

"You're right." He sounds surprised. You swear you can hear another sigh of relief from Fuse now that the anger is gone.

"I was told it was that runner who seems to have a bit of a thing for 'ya did it. Seen 'em around lately?" Fuse asked. "I like to tip everyone, they do such a great job and they're not getting paid."

Revenant ignores him, walking into the middle of the room, peering around. To your recollection, he had never asked for his room to be cleaned as long as you have been volunteering. His room was very dusty. Now light is shining through all the windows, the television is clear, the bed sheets fresh, the carpet vacuumed...

"Yeah, where are they?" Revenant finally asks aloud. Is that your invitation to reveal yourself?

"Um, hi, sorry." You slowly pull yourself up from the floor, revealing your truly mediocre hiding spot.

Fuse gives a surprised stare, clearly catching a glimpse of your red badge, then laughs it off.

"You picked a cute one, didn't 'cha Rev?"

Revenant turns to face him in an absolute fury.

"Listen, I'm just telling ya to play nice." Revenant gets in Fuse's face immediately, but Fuse doesn't budge and meets him eye-to-eye for his next words. "You seem pretty defensive of 'em. Keep it that way."

Those words take Revenant aback just long enough for Fuse to break away and waltz up to you.

"Cheers, thanks for bein' my mum for me." He hands you enough money for a month of groceries, so generous!

"Thank you! That's very kind of you!" You chirp back, very happy to have more for your savings. Revenant seems shocked by the genuine joy in your voice.

As Fuse walks by Revenant to leave, you hear a short exchange:

"I'll try to get the scarf. Don't go killing anybody, and I didn't see anything out of the ordinary." Fuse murmurs.

"...thanks." Revenant sounds genuine.

Fuse gives him a side-hug on the way out, Revenant leaning away to escape it, but failing. Fuse laughs at Revenant's bashfulness. Getting a thanks from Revenant is a miracle unto itself, worthy of such a small celebration. Fuse is a genuinely good person. He is universally loved by the volunteers for his generosity and positivity. A lot of people have crushes on him, and you can understand why. One swift set of finger guns at each of you and Fuse is gone out the door, closing it behind himself.

"He's nice!" You say very matter-of-factly to Revenant.

"Sure, whatever you say, little skinsuit." He mumbles, seeming a bit exhausted by all the exchanges this morning. "What did he give you?"

"Money!" You hold out quite the wad of cash. Revenant chuckles a little under his breath at your happiness.

"What are you saving up for, anyway?"

"Well, for when this gig ends, I guess." You think aloud. "I just never want to be homeless again."

"Homeless?" Revenant looks at you with concern, "You were homeless before the Games?"

"Yeah, it's terrible out there..." You trail off your own words a bit sadly, but in seeing his concern for you, you decide to end on a high note. "With everything I save, I'll make sure I always have enough to live off of, and with the experience I'll have an easier time finding a job."

"Would it help if I paid you?" Revenant asks, plainly.

"Well, yes, but you don't need to."

"You should have told me." He almost whispers. He sounds a little sorrowful again.

You walk up and give him a quick hug.

"Sorry, I didn't know you would want to."

"If you keep getting too close to me, one of these days you're going to end up in a body bag." He sneers, trying to regain his vicious demeanor.

"Sorry, just keeping you warm, boss!" You play along, for now. You release him. "I have to actually get some food, go by the medical ward for some medicine, and then I need to leave the facility to pick up some new clothes. Do you need anything?"

Revenant stares for a moment.

"I'll be here when you return, bring me something alcoholic though." He answers, studying your eyes.

"Yes sir!" You rush out the door.

• • • •

When you return in the evening, you find Revenant's chassis laying like a corpse on the bed, his headscarf back on his head. His eyes are glowing dimly, staring at the ceiling with little interest.

"Oh hey." You address him.

"Oh, hey." He addresses you back, but slower. He keeps his eyes on the ceiling.

"You okay? You got your scarf back." You acknowledge, hoping he will perk up.

"Yeah." He sounds... depressed?

You put the bag of medicine on his computer desk, along with your bag of new clothes. You walk over with the remaining bag, which has the largest bottles of rum, whisky, and vodka the store sells. It is heavy and expensive, so you carefully place it on the end table next to his bed.

"I got you a ton of alcohol. It was kinda expensive, I'll probably need to be paid back." You carefully request, unsure how he will react. He gives you a thumbs up before his arm collapses onto the bed again. "What happened while I was gone?"

"Nothing much, I just got my scarf back." He sighs.

"Well, how did you get it?"

He moans audibly.

"Fuse got Mirage and Caustic to help him. Apparently it was an absolute mess. Mirage had to make tons of fakes to play keep away with my scarf, and Caustic gassed Loba's room with... zinc chlorides...? Something like that. It set off the fire alarms, everyone had to evacuate--"

"You didn't evacuate, did you?"

"Absolutely not. Anyways, in the chaos my scarf somehow ended up with Artur and Bloodhound."

"Oh geeze, what happened then?"

"They cleaned it, brought it to me, and gave it to me folded up neatly."

"Oh. Well... that last part isn't so bad."

"They were kind." His eyes tightened with discomfort, "And they left me with this." He holds up a single crow feather, perfectly dainty and undamaged.

"Aw, Artur!" You chirped; Artur was the sweetest bird you have met, not that you have met many.

Revenant sat up suddenly, his eyes getting bright again.

"Why would they do that?" He studied the feather in his hands, like he is completely bewildered with the concept of kindness. "They didn't owe me anything." He puts the feather down in front of him on the bed, pulling his hands up to hold his scarf in his grip on the two sides of his head. "They don't owe me this."

"Are you alright? You seem to not want to accept that Bloodhound is a nice person." You wanted to feed him the answer inside the question.

He stays silent for a while, taking the feather and handing it to you.

"Artur said this was for you, specifically."

"Wait, what do you me--"

"It's Bloodhound. It's in their name." He sighs, as you recognize concern in his tone, "They know who you are, they know you're here, and they recognized your scent on me." He lays down on his back, exasperated. "I can't let more people know." You hold Artur's feather, twirling it in your fingers. "They can't know. I am not like this." He seems genuinely upset.

"You seem cold." You prompted.

"I am very cold." He responds, overanalyzing each word for their deeper meaning.

"Do you want to be warm?" You put the feather down next to the bag of alcohol.

He pauses to sit back up before answering.

"Yes, but I can never let any of them know that." He answers plainly, but seriously.

You sit down next to him and are quickly grabbed and enveloped in his cold body, pulling you deeper onto the bed and directly under him. He almost instantly rests his head on your shoulder. His breath slows to a relaxed pace, rattling a little in his chest. His vocalizer hums at a low purr, and he moves his hands to feel your pulse, one at your chest and one to your jugular. He presses in, studying your inherent tick.

The television is on in front of you, but you haven't noticed it until now. The commentators are going over the edits of the "Loba the Scalper" image they found on social media, having nothing more important to talk about before the upcoming trios match. Revenant sighs a bit in your ear, still clearly bothered by his very public execution. You wrap your arms behind you to hug his waist. He holds you tighter for a moment, clearly understanding your intent is to comfort him.

You begin to massage the leather and the mechanisms underneath, unsure of how he will react; but he almost instantly squeezes you again, endorsing your idea. As you work into his back, his eyes dim and his breath quickens and deepens at strange intervals, relating to each long, deep stroke you perform. He slowly but surely relaxes his grip on you, potentially not realizing it. His mask digs into your shoulder, possibly trying to stifle his abnormal breathing. You keep at it for a few minutes, revelling in how sensitive his chassis is. Simulacrums were truly amazing.

Revenant's body melts under your touch, his chassis making odd movements clearly out of pure enjoyment. He's completely warm now, actually turning a bit hot as his code runs trying to keep up with your inputs. You worry that perhaps his circuits are being stressed too hard, but he also seems to be enjoying it so much.

He suddenly seems to shut down. His eyes go black, his weight falls on your shoulders, and his arms dislocate and slump out of his shoulder armor. You struggle to hold up his weight, his torso must be nearly two hundred pounds alone. No wonder he needs pistons to hold it up with his skinny waist.

He roars back to life, literally growling like a beast. His hands open and stretch like talons, the tips sharpening into claws. His legs cross in front of you, and his arms cross in front of you, and they pull you up against him in a nearly-crushing manner. His talons press into your flesh where they land, causing you a minor amount of pain. More concerningly, his jaw pulls open and he immediately goes as if to bite you, pushing your neck into the void of his mouth. He doesn't bite down though. His eyes are needle-thin, and brightened to a nearly red color. You gasp for breath in complete shock.

"You're mine!-Mine!-Mine!" His vocals are skipping as his hoarse, aggressive voice practically screams. "You belong to me!" He falls silent for a few moments. His shoulders refit themselves into their sockets as he slowly relaxes and retracts his claws from you. His softer voice returns. "Mine..." he calmly finishes. His jaw removes itself from your neck and closes. "I'm sorry. Emotions load faster than logic. It's hard to control myself after a reboot."

You had been holding your breath, and finally exhale and inhale, feeling faint with fear and deoxygenated blood. You slump back in his grip, putting your hands on your diaphragm to steady your breathing. You let yourself completely melt onto the bed, allowing yourself to look up at his face, gazing down at you.

"So, that's how you really feel then?" You pant, still catching your breath.

"Only a bit." He tries to comfort you, taking your hands in his. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to scare you. Being a simulacrum is complicated. Even more complicated if you don't learn humanity while you're still human." He looks away, apparently not necessarily sure what he is missing in himself. "But I cannot deny there is truth in that emotion."

"It sounds like 'if I can't have you, nobody can' isn't off the table yet." You are slowly catching your breath.

"I would be very upset. I don't handle being upset well." His words are foreboding, but you're unsure if he is uncertain himself or trying to hide the truth. You want to sleep; you feel like you're going to have a heart attack. He squeezes your hands, noticing your weariness. "Sleep out here tonight."

You give him a weak thumbs up, fully expecting to just sleep right where you are. Revenant releases your hands, throws a blanket over you, and pulls you by your torso into a better sleeping position, up against a pillow. You throw out another thumbs up in approval. He snickers in response.

"I'm getting drunk. So sick of today. I'm going to create a scene so gruesome next game that everyone forgets about this little fiasco." He grumbles. You hear him cork something as you drift to sleep. "Have a good night, little skinsuit." Sleep was taking you rapidly.

"Thank you for the warmth." is the last thing you hear.

#apex legends #apex revenant #revenant #creative writing #revenant x reader #fanfic #fluff #romance #fanfiction #tw: sharp #tw: pain #tw: depression #tw: violence #tw: threats #tw: mania #tw: suicide #tw: graphic content #my fanfiction #my fanfic #smut #almost smut #non canon #comfort writing

[mellowyandere]

SCP Academia Eraserhead Part 3

Reader: F

Characters: Aizawa Shouta

Summary: You’ve been stuck in the stuffy cabin with no one but “Shouta” to keep you company. He won’t even tell you what day it is. November is quickly approaching...

Length: 3K

Warning: non-con, yandere themes, size kink, bondage, vaginal fingering, oral sex, vaginal sex, praise kink, breeding kink 

When you first woke up you were completely thrown off by your new environment. You had been in the bowls of the SCP foundation for years, only occasionally venturing outside to gather intel on potential new SCP’s. Your new home was a small cabin of sorts. One bedroom and one bathroom, with just enough space left over for the kitchen and living room. The house was run by a generator outside, which your oh so gracious host made sure you never got to see. 

He had insisted you call him by his “human” name Shouta. As to why he never mentioned it before? “No one but you deserved to know it,” he had huffed out, as if it was obvious. 

Shouta was incredibly stingy with information, no matter how much you questioned him. What happened to the foundation? Where did he bring you? Why did he bring you here, better yet how? Each question was met with a shrug of his shoulders or a mumbled “that doesn’t matter now.” 

You had given up a couple weeks ago, the man had no intention of letting you get a solid grasp of anything. Especially the date. The foundation breach had occurred sometime in mid September, leaving only a month and a half before November. He was purposefully hiding the information from you like the stingy bastard he was. 

Stingy bastard wasn't exactly fair though. He had been nothing but polite, trying his best to give you things he’d think you’d enjoy and providing for you in ways that surprised you. For example, the man was a phenomenal cook, which looking back explains his utter disdain for any food he had been served at the foundation. 

The main issue was his need to touch you. Pulling you into his lap to engulf you in his long muscular limbs and tendrils, or coming up behind you and placing his large hands on your hips. You were not accustomed to the contact and not very keen on it either. You threw an absolute shit fit when he tried to bathe you, and he, to his credit, let you be. He might have sat on the couch pouting for a couple hours, but eventually got over himself. 

The longer you were stuck with him, the touchier he seemed to get. You dodged him the best you could but finally he had had enough. You normally opted to sleep on the couch, not wanting to share the only bed with him. It was one of many small acts of defiance at your limited disposal. As night fell you crawled onto your makeshift bed, only to be pulled up over the back of the couch by two strong arms. 

“Hey! What gives!”

“I tried to ease you into this but you’re being rather stubborn. From now on you sleep with me.” Shouta didn’t want to push his affection on you too much, hoping you’d come around and open up to him. But time was running out and he needed to make sure he didn’t snap when November finally came. 

“Maybe if you’d answer my questions I’d humor you more!” You felt like you were going insane stuck in here. Was this what he used to feel like trapped in the foundation? No. He had had it one hundred times worse than you, but hardly ever complained.

You squirmed and wriggled in his grip. He growled lowly in his throat, the vibrations rumbling through his chest. You stilled in his arms. With long strides it only took a few steps before he plopped you down on the large sturdy bed. 

“Stay.” You rolled your eyes. He was a man of few words. But you remained, he’d just drag you in here again if you got up. Even though he had been nothing but patient, you felt as if you were reaching the end of his limits. 

-----------

The days spent with Shouta were rather boring. You’d read books to pass the time, or stare longingly out the window. He was never much of a conversationist, but now only seemed willing to talk if you’d make physical contact with him. All in all, the house was too damn quiet.

Thankfully nights spent in his bed were relatively uneventful. He’d try to slowly pull you closer to him but you’d snap and he’d begrudgingly relent. Though that didn’t change the fact that you’d wake up smothered in his embrace, but you’d just wriggle out again. 

As days continue to pass his fuse was getting shorter and shorter, you could feel the shift in his demeanor. Low growls at your attempts to distance yourself. Sharps eyes never leaving you. He was always one step behind you, personal space no longer an option. 

------------

You woke up groggy. Why was it so hot? You tried to move but found yourself immobile. You... you couldn't open you eyes?! No wait... yes you could. But a blindfold of sorts kept you from seeing anything. It was warm, just like the bindings on your body. Tendrils. He had you completely wrapped up in his tendrils. You were laying flat on your back, arms bound above your head. 

Then you heard him. Low deep pants. His hot breath fanned against your neck, his nose brushed under your chin. 

“Sho-Shouta?” At the sound of his name he groaned into the soft flesh of your neck. He tried so hard to resist touching you, he really had. But with the month of November upon him he had run out of control.

His large body was on top of you, though he supported himself as to not crush you. “My sweet little stubborn human” he cooed into your neck. “I'm going to take such good care of you...” he almost sounded a bit delirious?

His tongue darted out, hot and wet against your flesh. 

“Wait! Hold on, stop! Shouta pl-please cut it out!” You began to struggle, his tendrils gently sliding over your exposed form. When did he take your clothes off? 

“Y/N..” he growled out.

“Please.. let me at least see.” You needed to try and gain some control back. This situation wasn't looking good. Shouta was deadly when November came. You weren’t sure what this was right now, but you needed to get some control over him before he tried to kill you.

The creature obliged your request. Blood red predatory eyes pierced your own as soon as you had adjusted to the dark. His long black hair lazily defied gravity. He seemed larger, if that was even possible. His deathly pale torso had tendrils jutting out in all different directions, some aimlessly whipping through the air, but most were wrapped snuggly around your body.

Looking further down you realized you weren’t the only person completely naked. His bare hips were pressed flat to the bed between your own as he slowly rutted against the sheets. Due to your restraints you couldn’t really see much else. 

Leaning down he placed his lips on your neck, softly sucking and nipping at your flesh. 

“So beautiful.. so perfect” he whispered. He began to move down your body, soft lips leaving your skin with goosebumps. He paused at your breasts, one of his large hands coming up to play with your right breast while his mouth claimed your left nipple. His tongue made quick work of hardening your sensitive bud. His teeth came out and gently bit down, causing you to whimper.

You couldn’t give into his ministrations, it would only encourage him. “Shouta please, you have to stop! What if you hurt me?” His mouth released from your breast, his lust filled eyes lazily looking up at you as his tongue continued to circle your nipple. With a sigh he pulled away.

“I would never hurt you my precious little human.”

His free hand drew slow circles onto the outside of your thigh. Continuing his journey downwards he licked and nipped your skin until finally settling between your trembling thighs. He wasn't paying your worry any mind as he took his time drinking your body in. He had been such a good mate, had been so patient. Surely you’d understand...

His tongue darted out experimentally, gently lapping at your folds. You bit back a groan as he hummed in satisfaction, face nestling further into your legs for better access as he used his tendrils to move your legs over his shoulder. His stubble was coarse against your inner thighs. More tendrils came out to ensure your breasts were not forgotten. You bit back a moan as they continued where his hand and mouth had left off.

He greedily began to devour you, inhumanly long tongue delving deep inside you as he groaned, sending vibrations through your cunt. Pulling his tongue out he moved up a bit to gently wrap his lips around your clit. With his tendrils covering your body he could feel your every twitch in response to his ministrations. He wanted to make you fall apart beneath him. 

“Sho-ah-Shouta please! Don’t do th-” you were cut off mid sentence. One of his tendrils found their way to your mouth, pushing its way inside your wet cavern and essentially gagging you. You clamped down hard, which only caused the creature on top of you to shudder in ecstasy. He could make them quite sensitive after all. 

You tried to relax, nothing you did seemed to deter him. Maybe not responding would cause him to lose interest? You tried to remain still, until you felt his finger gently prodding at your entrance. You began to squirm with renewed vigor, your pleas muffled by his tendrils. 

“Such an impatient little human. I know what you want but I need to get you ready first or else I might hurt you.”

Slowly he began to pump his finger into your tight hole. His saliva acted as a good starting lubricant, your own juices beginning to aid when that wasn’t enough. Shit, why did he have to be so fucking good at this?! He worked his digit in further and further, your walls clenching down eagerly, until finally he was knuckle deep. 

Continuing to work your sensitive clit with his expert mouth, he pulled his finger out and gently began to add another. Two fingers pushed in, just as excruciatingly slow as the first time. Gentle pumps of his hand worked to allow your small human body to compensate for his larger form. 

You couldn't help but rut your hips forward as your mind began to fog with pleasure. It shouldn't feel this good, he wasn't even doing that much! You needed to stop him, needed to stop reacting to him. 

And yet you found your walls desperately clamping down on his fingers as he slowly drug them out. His methodical pattern continued for awhile until he changed his approach. Expert fingers began to probe with a purpose as he hunted for just the right spot. It didn’t take him long. 

You moaned into his tendrils, back arching as he finally found what he had been looking for. With renewed vigor he used his fingers to attack, while his mouth continued its assault on your bundle of nerves. 

If he continued at this pace you wouldn't last much longer. Your legs trembled, thighs tightening against his head. Your walls began to flutter around his fingers, your mewls and moans were still muffled, but they sent delicious tingles running down his spine. 

No you couldn't you had to stop! But you had no choice. The combination of his devilish mouth and pinpoint accurate fingers were too much. You closed your eyes as your orgasm washed over you. He continued to pump his fingers in and out, but pulled back to watch the bliss wash over your face. 

“Such a good girl, so beautiful,” he cooed as you came undone. Just as he had planned. He pulled his tendril from your mouth and watched as you panted, still trying to gain control of yourself. Unfortunately for you, he wasn't about to let that happen. 

After wiping off his mouth with the back of his hand he leaned up and captured your mouth in his own. You could still taste yourself on his tongue. You had come down from your high after your orgasm and resumed your pathetic struggling, surely he had had his fill? 

His hands planted firmly on your hips as he pulled away from you, lips leaving a small trail of saliva as he loomed over you. He pulled your body up off the bed with his tendrils, maneuvering you so your legs were wrapped around his waist.

“Be a good girl for me and relax, I don’t want this to be painful for you.”

With that he slowly began to move you down until finally you felt the tip of his cock pressing against your outer folds. He had you oddly suspended in his embrace, leaving you no where to retreat to as he rubbed the large head against your wet core. 

All of his focus right now was staring down at where his cock was teasing you. He was inhumanly large, and just dipping the tip in made it obvious enough. This was going to be a tight fit. 

“Shouta please, it won’t fit you’re too big.” His eyes looked up into your own, the fear in them registered somewhere deep within his brain, but the need to stuff you full of his seed overpowered his ability to stop himself. 

He began to push his length inside, even more slowly than his fingers. He owed you this bare minimum level of self control, the idea of hurting you keeping him in check.

You whimpered as he continued, there was no reaching him. You’d be better following his advice and trying to relax to accommodate his sheer girth. But fuck did it sting. The methodical pumping of his hips pushing his monstrous cock deeper and deeper. 

One of his hands opted to leave your hip in order to begin softly circling your puffy clit. It helped to soothe the burn of your stretching walls, slick beginning to build as your body attempted to help you. After what felt like an eternity he finally bottomed out inside you. 

“Shit you’re so fucking tight, you feel so good.”

He remained there for a moment, sweat rolling down his body as he tried to control himself. Just then your tight little cunt experimentally squeezed against him and his restraint shattered. 

He began to pull out, groaning above your head. He got about halfway out before pushing back in. This continued, each outward drag was met with a faster and more desperate thrust back in. At first it had stung, tears pricking your eyes as your bit your lip to keep from whining. You had never felt so full before. 

But as you grew accustomed to his size something hot began to stir in your abdomen. You were enjoying it. The more you relaxed into him the more pleasure you began to feel. Until finally, you were back to where you had been when he had worked you into your first orgasm. 

Your brain was too clouded with pleasure to bother holding back noises of satisfaction, and the heat in your gut only grew when Shouta moaned and huffed in your ear. His deep rumbles poured over you and soon he had abandoned his slow pace in favor of a much faster one. 

His long cock would pull all the way out before slamming back in, a rogue tendril had replaced his hand to work on your clit while his newly freed hands greedily grabbed at you. 

Finally one hand decided on grasping your hair, pulling your head back so he could slam his mouth against yours in a sloppy kiss. His tendrils allowed for your body to bounce against his as he pistoned his hips into you. 

His tongue was in your mouth as he swallowed your moans. His appendage fought with yours for dominance before exploring everything it could reach. This was all too much, you were getting close again. 

You could feel your walls beginning to flutter at your impending climax, and Shouta could feel it too. He increased his pace, hips stuttering as he began to try and reach his own release. He pulled away from your kiss and removed you from his tendrils, firmly planting you back on the mattress. His free hands intertwining his fingers with your own above your head as he continued to rock into you. 

He kept his tendrils on your legs in order to keep them wrapped around his waist, groaning as he felt you reach for orgasm first. You head was thrown back, mouth open in a silent o as you finished for the second time that night. The feeling of cumming on his cock was beyond imaginable and your body shuddered beneath him. 

You were perfect, overwhelming all of his senses in ecstasy as your tight cunt clamped down on him. He couldn't hold out any longer. His hips stilled as you began to milk his cock, hot thick ropes of cum painting your insides. You were too tired to protest, your small body slumped below him as you took his seed like the good little mate you were. 

A wave of exhaustion began to cloud his mind as he came down from his high. Slowly he began to pull out, heart clenching as you whimpered. You were too damn cute. 

Before any of his seed could spill out he used a tendril to plug your hole. Rolling over to your side he maneuvered you so your head was tucked under his own, his arm pressing you into his chest. 

“You did such a good job, if we keep this up you could take my seed before the month is up.” He planted a kiss against your forehead. You grumbled incoherently in response, too exhausted to process the implications of what he had just said. 

November, the month when he went feral, was the month he was feral for his mate. Desperate to fuck his seed into his one and only. All others were obstacles in his way that didn't deserve to live. November 1st had only just begun. You were in for a long month. 

#yandere shouta aizawa #yandere aizawa #aizawa x reader #aizawa x you #scp academia #yandere x reader #aizawa shouta x reader #bnha aizawa

[gameofdrarry]

Wizards Hearts Recs: Holiday Fic

Wizards Hearts was a four-month-long Drarry reading fest. Players were given a playing deck of 52 tropes, and were asked to find 52 different fics to read and comment on to fill their decks. To prevent the same few fics from being read, fics were restricted to only being used for the game three times before being considered ineligible for further points. The tropes and submissions list can be found here.

Check out the masterlist of fics for this trope below the cut!

📜 East of Eden by  WriteSprite Rated:  Explicit Words:  41,122 Tags:  Explicit Sexual Content, Explicit Language, Parseltongue, Dirty Talk, Rimming, Biting, Drinking Games Summary:  When Harry receives a dodgy brochure for an island vacation, he isn't sure he should attend. After a bit of a push, he decides to go for it and winds up spending the week in paradise. At least it would be, if it weren't for that pesky blond git. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Take My Hand by daisymondays Rated:  Explicit Words:  12814 Tags: Summer, Summer Romance, Pining, Mutual Pining, Getting Together, First Kiss, Drinking Games, Harry Potter Has Dimples, Draco Malfoy Can't Cope, Fluff, Sharing a Bed, Auror Partners, Draco Has Feels To Spare, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Flirting, Friends to Lovers, Meddling Friends, Touching, Soooo Much Touching, HP: EWE Summary:  Draco has long resigned himself to pining after Harry... that is until an invite on the annual Ministry holiday gives him a chance to change everything. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 December Never Felt So Wrong by MaesterChill Rated:  Explicit Words:  50001 Tags: Post-Hogwarts, Angst, Mystery, time skip, 00's Music Sung Badly, Fluff, Amnesia, A niffler, 25 Days of Draco and Harry 2018, curse magic, Knitting, Sex, Cuddles, Blow Jobs, First Time Sex, wanking, Advent Fic, Christmas, Magical Artifacts, Falling In Love, Magical Theory, drarry dads, Rimming, Memory Loss, A tiny bell, Sharing a Bed, Dad Jokes, Cursed objects Summary:  'Twas the month before Christmas and sixteen year old Draco Malfoy had never felt worse. His attempts to kill Dumbledore were failing and, as usual, Harry Fucking Potter was a constant thorn in his side. All that suddenly changed when Draco woke up 15 years in the future and discovered that not only was he allegedly shagging Harry Fucking Potter, he also had thinning hair and a five year old son, and no fucking clue how he got there. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Tell Me the End at the Beginning by harryromper Rated:  Teen and Up Words:  36591 Tags: Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Post-Hogwarts, St Mungo's Hospital, Healer Draco Malfoy, Auror Harry Potter, Auror Hermione Granger, Christmas, Christmas Tree, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Christmas Presents, Christmas Decorations, 25 Days of Harry and Draco, Food Hall Turkeys, Advent Calendar, Healer Luna Lovegood, Kreacher, Minor Neville Longbottom/Ginny Weasley, Yule Logs, Misheard Christmas carols Summary:  St Mungo’s is the last place anyone wants to spend the festive season. Harry finds himself there anyway. Or: Harry's an Auror suspended from duty, Malfoy's wearing the hell out of three-piece suits, Hermione is entirely over everything, and Kreacher just wants to be left alone to decorate for Christmas. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Too Cold Outside (For Angels to Fly) by gracerene Rated:  Explicit Words:  62688 Tags: Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Post-Second War with Voldemort, Post-Hogwarts, Creature Fic, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Veela Draco Malfoy, Veela (Harry Potter), Auror Partners, Auror Harry Potter, Auror Draco Malfoy, Aurors, Case Fic, Murder Mystery, Mild Gore, Advent Calendar, Christmas, Drinking, Scotland, United Kingdom, Muggle London, POV Alternating, Coffee Shops, Past Character Death, Past Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Minor Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Minor Dean Thomas/Ginny Weasley, Crime Fighting, Duelling, Burns, Blood and Injury, Bars and Pubs, Getting Together, Romance, Light Angst, Happy Ending, Bisexual Harry Potter, Gay Draco Malfoy, Anal Sex, Riding, Shower Sex, Hand Jobs, 25 Days of Harry and Draco, 25 Days of Harry and Draco 2019, Switching, Wings, Wing Kink, Veela Mates, Mating Bond, Anal Fingering, Bonding, Dirty Talk Summary:  The Auror Department and the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures are working to create a new division partnering human wizards and Magical Beings in order to more effectively police crime involving any and all classifications of Magical Creature. Auror Harry Potter jumps at the chance to join the pilot programme, but he starts to regret his rashness when he discovers who he's to be partnered with: Draco Malfoy. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 If the Fates Allow by Saras_Girl Rated:  Mature Words:  80957 Tags: N/A Summary:  What's that crackling in the walls? Harry has no clue at all. He'll eat some cake and drink some wine Because he is completely FINE. --A story about life's disregard for our plans. [2017 advent story] ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 A New Peace by MalenkayaCherepakha Rated:  Explicit Words:  5566 Tags: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Semi-Public Sex Summary:  Of all the people Draco expected to walk into his cafe in Muggle London, Harry Potter was not one of them. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 flashback, warm nights by warmfoothills Rated:  Mature Words:  13068 Tags: Deathly Hallows AU, or more specifically, the godric’s hollow christmas shitshow of 1997, but with ron and draco!, and no snake-animated corpses!, instead:, Grand theft auto, a lot of blood, teenage fugitives, a time loop, Horcrux Hunting, one psychopathic quinquagenarian, Bodily Injuries, the ~power of love, Breaking and Entering, hospital food, questionable headwear, kissing in the backseat, kissing in the freezer aisle, Kissing in the Snow Summary:  “What’s killing me is that I actually quite fucking like Christmas, festival-for-a-personally-irrelevant-religion-turned-commercialised-garbage-holiday though it may be, and now I’m stuck in the perpetual almost-there of it all with an idiot who gets himself cut up every time no matter how differently I try and do things!” “Killing you?” Potter asks. “I thought I was the one who’s about to get my torso sliced into?” ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 All Must Draw Near by Saras_Girl Rated:  Mature Words:  61080 Tags: N/A Summary:  Harry doesn't have time for rumours; he has a shop to run. Which is just as well, really. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 With A Little Help From Hermione by naarna Rated:  Teen and Up Words:  6983 Tags: N/A Summary:  Secret Santa at Hogwarts with every House participating in the name of unity... And Hermione suddenly finds herself in the position of a matchmaker. ❤️ Read on Fanfiction.net

📜 Faint Indirections  by ignatiustrout Rated:  Teen and Up Words:  29793 Tags: University, Wizarding World of the United States of America, Americans, Post-Second War with Voldemort, Librarian Harry Potter, Harry Potter Has a Pet Snake, Parselmouth Harry Potter, College Student Draco Malfoy, Redeemed Draco Malfoy, Anxious Harry Potter, Baby Gay Draco Malfoy, Bisexual Harry Potter, Friendship, Family Dinners, Halloween parties, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Romance, Misunderstandings, Internalized Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, H/D Fan Fair 2019, Secondary Theme: Book Fair Summary: Draco Malfoy is the last person Harry expects to turn up in Boston, Massachussetts. But now he's here, and he won't stop requesting books from the library where Harry works. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 The 12 Dates of Draco  by Drarryismymuse (Hatchersn) Rated:  Explicit Words:  16808 Tags: 12 Days of Christmas, Light Angst, Christmas Smut, Anal Sex Summary:  Holiday dialing, desperate attempts at reconciliation, and 12 blind dates with Draco Malfoy... oh my! OR The day Harry just can't seem to get past. But what is the universe trying to tell him? And when did Draco Malfoy get so bloody fit? He's got 12 days to figure it out. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Christmas Is For Sex (and Love), So Give It To Me by GoldenTruth813 Rated:  Explicit Words:  53218 Tags: PWP, Established Relationship, Christmas, Bondage, misuse of frosting, making gingerbread houses, coming without touching, Blowjobs, Fingering, anal penetration, Rimming, misuse of fairy lights, Praise Kink, Nipple Clamps, erotic massages, Lingerie, Harry in Lingerie, Butt Plugs, Masterbation, Dirty Talk, Overstimulation, Topping from the Bottom, Ice Play, misuse of snowballs, misuse of brandy custard, veritasium, Public Sex, misuse of christmas candles, Wax Play, floating blow jobs, bubble baths, Candy Canes, misuse of candy canes, sex with feelings, Clubbing, naughty letters, babysitting teddy, Edging, healing past trauma, really so much more than sex, but lots of sex too, spiked hot cocoa, Drunk confessions, Anal penetration with a foreign object, french!draco, Switching Summary:  Draco buys Harry an Advent House, intent on helping Harry create all new holiday memories, and have a lot of great sex in the process. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 As it Should Be by leo_draconis Rated:  Mature Words:  5670 Tags: N/A Summary:  It's Christmas Eve, and Draco's world has just shattered around him. Will a Christmas miracle give him a second chance? ❤️ Read on LJ

📜 Dream by the Fire  by GallifreyisBurning Rated:  Mature Words:  11431 Tags: Fluff, Christmas Fluff, Non-Explicit Sex, No Angst, seriously no angst whatsoever, Getting to Know Each Other, Getting Together, Coffee Shop Owner Harry Potter, Writer Draco Malfoy, Tattooed Draco Malfoy, Magical Tattoos, Memory Magic, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Wizarding History (Harry Potter), Friends to Lovers Summary:  When Draco Malfoy resurfaces in England after eight years abroad—tattooed, pierced, and wanting to take over a corner of Harry's coffee shop to work on a writing project—Harry can't help but be intrigued. Where has he been? What is he working on? Why here? And why does he have to look so stupidly hot with all those tattoos? ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 The best Christmas he ever had by gnarf Rated:  Teen And Up Words:  1965 Tags: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Party, Post-War, Fred Weasley Lives, Christmas at the Burrow (Harry Potter), Mutual Pining, Drinking, Dancing, Family Feels Summary:  Christmas had never been less appealing to him than this year. That was until Arthur Weasley showed up at his door, dressed as Santa, inviting him to the Burrow. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 The One Where Ginny Keeps a Secret, Sort of  by Theartfulldodger Rated:  Teen And Up Words:  4039 Tags:  Fluff, Christmas, Established Relationship, Non-Linear Narrative, Group Vacation Summary:  Harry is determined to have a good time with Ginny and Pansy for a trip to NYC over the winter holidays, even if Draco can't join them. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Adventures in Truth and Texting by fluxweed Rated:  Explicit Words:  7981 Tags: Texting, Drunk Texting, Sexting, Veritaserum, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Auror Harry Potter, Drinking, Christmas, Advent Fic, Awkwardness, everyone has phones, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE Summary:  Former Death Eaters are being targeted with a Veritaserum curse – it’s permanent, and makes victims speak aloud their every thought. Luckily, it’s easier to control when writing – and Hermione is trying to introduce Muggle technology to the wizarding world. An advent fic featuring texting, identity struggles, and a Draco Malfoy who will literally not stop talking. ❤️ Read on AO3

#holiday #vacation #drarry #drarry rec #game of drarry #wizards hearts #wh masterlist

[mylittleredgirl]

trekathon: enterprise “in a mirror, darkly”

season 4 episodes 18 & 19:

oh my god, the first contact music 💗😭

the opening sequence to the enterprise mirror universe eps really is inspired. i also like to imagine the composer metaphorically tossing it down on a table in front of all the fans who’ve been complaining for four years like “HERE’S YOUR FUCKING INSTRUMENTAL OPENING THEME” and storming out

i’ve been breaking up the discovery recaps because there are 19 concurrent plots and i’m trying to keep them straight, but i feel like a stream-of-consciousness bullet point experience is appropriate here:

those of you watching today will never know the special delight that mirror captain forrest brought to internet nerd fans back in the day. the site television without pity used to write snarky tv show recaps, and keckler, who wrote the enterprise recaps week to week, decided early on that admiral forrest was such a boring character that he must be evil -- and so after 3-some years of calling him “evil admiral forrest,” him showing up in the mirror universe was like prophecy coming to pass

mirror phlox and reed developed the agonizer booth!

apparently non-terran rebellions against the empire are a recurring concern

mirror!travis is REAL hot

they’re all hot but travis? with that earring? and that hair? dang.

i think we can all agree that phlox is the creepiest mirror version, just casually performing live vivisections of random animals with a smile 😬

i’m glad discovery went the full-on sexy leather uniform route instead of just slapping some pins and patches on the existing uniform style and putting the ladies in crop tops

mirror!t’pol going through pon farr (and ~ahem~ asking trip to help her out) raises my continuing question about how and when pon farr affects female vulcans

does it just kick in at some point, like with vulcan men? is it connected to their bond-mate? should i be worried about tuvok’s wife is what’s behind my question

mirror archer is such a hopeless disaster and hoshi very obviously like “wow... those orgasms... so great... 🙄” really gives me life

vulcan bowl-cut rebellion!!

the vulcan science directorate has found no evidence of alternate realities 

given it is ALSO going to be time travel, the vulcan science directorate’s about to take a double hit

okay okay space science time! tricobalt device + gravity well of dead star -> interphasic rift to other universe

i don’t know why trip saying “so what?” is so funny

i totally forgot the suliban had cloaking technology by the way

i also forgot how great the enterprise transporter effect is!!

okay now i want to watch “the tholian web.” star trek marathons are not linear

mirrror!malcolm getting horny for future phasers is very on brand

tos sound effects 🥰

honestly impressed they even have escape pods in the mirror universe

i assume they’re all on the evil line of the alignment chart, but i guess that makes captain forrest lawful evil, hoshi neutral evil, and archer chaotically unhinged evil

part ii!!!

“release the ducking clamps!” bakula why

t’pol’s orange eyeshadow is quite a look

on-screen text falls into the “canon if i feel like it” zone as far as i’m concerned, but i love that archer’s profile starts with: “charming, bold,”

apparently he was the starfleet chief of staff, the ambassador to andoria, and the president!! of the federation!!!!

the best part is that when i paused it to read, the closed caption says [LAUGHING]

our babes look so good in velour

GORN!

disaster mirror archer hallucinating prime!archer is an entire thing i’m not even sure how to deal with

a cgi gorn was a bad call from start to finish. this isn’t a 16 years on thing. they did their best, but it was ridiculous then too. 

shakespeare’s plays are “equally grim in both universes”

omg travis high-kicking the admiral

archer parading around the shuttlebay of the admiral’s nx-01 ship, making a dramatic speech to about 18 people all looking either bored or concerned. i love that they chose to make this entire episode about what a clown mirror archer is

those 18 people include two vulcans, an andorian, a denobulan, and an orion, and we saw a tellarite officer earlier. during this period in history there are a significant number of aliens serving on starfleet ships -- as opposed to Just T’Pol in the prime universe. they’re all second-class citizens, but they hold officer ranks. in the discovery era, i don’t think we see any non-terrans holding military positions. 

okay actually given that they successfully take over a ship i can see why that policy doesn’t last

i have a specific desire to see t’pol with hyper realistic disco spock style ears

i love that even mirror hoshi protects phlox 🥺

i would like to thank the director of this episode for the artistic decision to only show archer and hoshi hooking up in silhouette form

“it may take centuries, but humanity will pay for its arrogance” YES i love that connection to the ds9 mirror universe eps

they really can design the heck out of a negligee in the mirror universe can’t they

hoshi and travis making out!!!!

honestly i don’t think hoshi had a long game here? i buy her being content as forrest’s captain’s woman, but then archer betrayed forrest and she wanted revenge, and then forrest died so she had nothing to go back to, and then it’s like “well i was going to go for tenure but now that i’m here i might as well rule the empire”

#trekathon #enterprise #i need a mirror t'pol icon

[seishirosakurazuka]

What are your thoughts on loneliness re: Subaru & Seishirou? And more generally, in Tokyo Babylon & X?

mulling this over I’m torn between a long thoughtful answer and the instinctual one, so I’ll start with what’s short: I think loneliness, or more specifically isolation, is everything tbx is made of especially with respect to subaru and seishiro.

the longer version begins with what “loneliness” means in this context, which I have to preface w the disclaimer that I don’t speak Japanese and I’m working w my own interpretation of traductions I’ve seen. full zampanò, when the little girl says “maybe all people who do bad things are really just lonely” there is an irony to how subaru who is being addressed is isolated but also lonely, and how seishiro is the obvious (and supplied in the last two pages) suspect of comparison here and although he never appears to be lonely he is very isolated. loneliness is inseparable from isolation, and we can equally talk about how clamps theme of people’s need to be interconnected (re: most important persons, watanuki vs self-worth, not dying is the greatest gift you can give someone you love, kekkais requiring love of a specific person n not just Humanity etc etc) in terms of isolation/disconnect as we can in terms of connection.

so many of the cases in TB which subaru is pitted against both plot wise and character arc wise are about a desire for connexion w others or a lack thereof; the woman who committed suicide at Tokyo tower (extra weighty given X), the elderly banana gentleman, seeing eye dog discussion, etc. subaru loves all people with all his heart, which both makes him endearingly heroic and which is the major internal conflict he deals w in TB since he has great difficulty distinguishing his particular unique feelings of love for seishiro from his love of literally everyone. (please appreciate this fact in opposition 2 how seishiro cannot realize his feelings for subaru bc he is universally APATHETIC toward ppl. inverses are only so due to common ground contrasted.) isolation - which again i am using as synonymous with loneliness - is the entire work, imho.

it’s seishiro’s lack of connection to anyone or anything that is his hubris (re: my tragedy-definition spree way back when that ended in futility). to pull x into it, the ability to create a kekkai in the dragons of heaven sense is to care for one singular specific person enough to save the world for them, and when subaru loses seishiro, he loses the ability to create a kekkai. i’ve remarked on how in their first x meeting seishiro makes an asinine comment about subaru’s growth as a person (you’re so cute!) and in response before saying anything subaru creates a kekkai which at rainbow bridge (at least in accordance with the death of his sister, the next closest thing to a ‘most important person’ he has) is proven to be solely in relation to seishiro and how devastating that is as a reader. they are coming at the same ground, toward the same problem of loneliness/isolation, from opposing and even inverse ends of the same continuum. if seishiro were capable of regarding humans as more than pebbles or glass cups - or if you prefer as maybe i do on my optimistic days if he were capable of recognizing he sees subaru, one singular individual human as more than that - he wouldn’t have been so tragic, and neither would subaru.

as ever i can’t help but bring up fuuma here, despite it being an eternally futile effort since X is terminally unfinished, since it’s interesting that he seems particularly invested at least in kamui’s perception of his self-worth in a way that aligns more with the doh’s kekkai-making abilities. and how kamui’s own inability to create a kekkai despite his broad (subaru-like, indiscriminate, big-hearted) love for humanity and desire that fuuma, the friend he once knew, return to himself, is more in line with the doe’s abstraction of humanity. i almost said love but that’s not true; even kusanagi, who is the most empathetic and compassionate of the doe is so caught up in the greater environmental suffering that he lacks the care for any one particular human for which he could sacrifice the world that he is firmly on the ‘’’’apocalyptic’’’’ side. both the seishiro/subaru and fuuma/kamui dynamics center around this question of what makes the world worth saving, and in both cases i rather firmly believe the answer is “acknowledging and committing to a connection to a particular human being” although the manifestations are extremely disparate and  yet not at all.

it’s not enough to dismiss humanity in a fit of emotionless apathy and it’s not enough to round it all up in indiscriminate naive love; tb as a story made of very personal very individual very unique tragedies and stories, in the face of seishiro’s assertion that “tragedies like this happen in tokyo everyday,” proves this. x, as a story about what makes humanity worth propagating despite the high cost, even as kamui!fuuma longs for people to realize their own self-worth and traumatized compassionate kamui longs for a world that is definitively saved, proves this. there’s a middle ground there, and like humanity with environmental compassion keeping a wasteland apocalypse at bay, or fai finding redemption in loving his family or kurogane learning the m’eaning of true strength, or the jorugomo teaching watanuki to devalue oneself is to devalue your connections to the people you care about and value above yourself, or any other number of clamp story morals, finding value in your real and tangible and non-abstract connection with other human beings whom you love is always always always what makes life worth living on for.

and - to digress a bit, but to echo something i’ve definitely said before - that’s what keeps me coming back to clamp, what keeps me writing long essays on their works. i do believe in that.

#clamp #x1999 #tokyo babylon #i might look back at this in three months and go #what the hell is this maudlin self-refelctive bullshit #but tbh? it's all true & i think a very solid interpretation of clamp's v consistent recurrign themes so #elodie does clamp #or............ #peter does clamp #? #idk if i should change the tag but im leaning toward peter lately as a moniker. so. #there's that too. w/e

[dragimalsdaydreams]

here it is, the payoff of a year’s worth of work! or an on-off year, at least– this was hardly a constant project. also, sorry this is so big! I’d recommend right click>view image to see this better

also this desc is super freakin long, so for anyone interested, the rest of my commentary is under the cut

it kills me that I wasn’t able to finish this for last year’s 4/13– I wanted so badly to dedicate this to Homestuck’s finale, but I grossly underestimated how much time I needed (just a couple weeks before the anniversary, Ashley? really??). despite this, I’m glad I was able to finish this piece without having to worry abt a time crunch

I’ve EASILY devoted more time and effort into this piece than ANY other piece of art in my life (and that includes full muscle/skeletal diagrams I’ve drawn for past Eclypse refs). it’s funny, I actually “started” this piece in 2012, when I first drew the rough sketch of my idea (obviously Alpha kids and Beforan trolls didn’t exist then, so I was planning to do a kinda “pre-game/post-game” symmetry haha LITTLE DID I KNOW). even at that time, I wanted to contribute something special to the HS fandom– something I’d never attempted for any other fandom then or since. however, I could tell my skill wasn’t developed enough to produce a decent piece (nor did I have the motivation to start a monster like this..), so I tucked that sketch away, hoping I’d return to it someday. I still don’t think I’m at a high enough skill level to give this tribute what it truly deserves (colors... are my death...), but I admit I’m oddly proud of this final product? it’s more than I could have accomplished in the past, that’s for sure (it’s so weird to see how much I’ve improved even comparing the basal sketch stages)

(and, as is tradition for me apparently, here are the other tributes I’ve done for past anniversaries: 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016)

sorry for sounding a lil’ sappy here (tho I’m sappy every 4/13 lmao), but Homestuck is so incredibly important to me. no other fandom has come CLOSE to what Homestuck has given me in terms of absurd (often sometimes embarrassing) shenanigans, close-knit fan communities, incredible fanworks, and countless other fandom elements. not to say that other media/fandoms haven’t contributed to my life in significant ways, or that other fandoms aren’t as good, but the HS fandom experience was (and is) so…. unique. there are certain events and situations that could only be experienced within Homestuck’s format, and would be difficult– if not impossible– to replicate in other types of media (or even other webcomics). and beyond that, I’ve dedicated such a significant amount of love and attention to this comic that no other fandoms in my life can rly compare

most fandoms fade over time and slip away from interest, but there are those golden few that clamp onto your heart and don’t let go. Homestuck is one of the few fandoms I can say with reasonable confidence I’ll always cherish, and I just want to thank Hussie and all the incredible artists, animators, musicians, programmers, etc. that have directly contributed to the experience. I think I speak for most when I say my feelings abt the end of HS were…. mixed, at best. but even the negative aspects do little to dampen my love for Homestuck as a whole– this story is just too MASSIVE to let one little ending ruin it! not to say the ending (or any of the comic) is beyond criticism, but the criticism doesn’t ruin the last several years of this fandom experience for me. if anything, that finale left me with a sense that this story isn’t truly over– that there are more loose ends to be tied and further plots unraveled. I’m not sure if that should be considered a good thing (once again, mixed feelings), but at least it works in the context of the upcoming game, haha. either way, reading-- and watching and playing-- Homestuck has been an incredible journey thus far, and I eagerly await the future Hiveswap will bring~

past all that SAPPY COMMENTARY, my main goal w/ this piece was to represent every single Homestuck character (as well as a few significant symbols/references in the comic). considering the nature of Homestuck’s ridiculous timeline, however, this is kind of impossible. thus, I gave myself a few rules for who was and wasn’t included:

- no duplicates. considering there are at least 8 versions of everyone, I absolutely needed this rule. there are obviously a few exceptions (such as Calliope/Callie Ohpeee, Caliborn/Lord English, etc.), though I felt I was justified in including their doubles. this rule honestly kills me a little because I REALLY wanted to include certain duplicates like Bro, Mom, and the Ancestors, but I couldn’t b/c of the next rule–

- if I include some of a group, I must include ALL of the group; IE- “symmetric” representation of all characters. if I were to include the Alternian Ancestors, I would feel obligated to include the Beforan Ancestors too, but there aren’t any canon designs for them, so that would be impossible. similarly, if I were to include the Beta (human, non-Dad) guardians, I’d feel the need to include the Alpha guardians too, who honestly felt less like “unique” characters to me than the Beta guardians did compared to their Alpha kid counterparts (though this could just be due to the fact that we were introduced to the Alphas as adults before the Alpha kids themselves). and even if I were to draw all the kid’s duplicate guardians, that would make me feel obligated to do all the troll’s Ancestors which, again, just wouldn’t work. this is also the reason why none of the Denizens were included, b/c we’ve only got a few of their canon designs (tho I’m considering including their underlings in the future, but I’m not 100% sold on the idea b/c, again, not all underlings are known)

- no “poly-characters”. essentially, no sprites. this prolly falls under “no duplicates”, though I personally consider characters like Davepetasprite^2, Jaspersprite, and even Davesprite unique characters in their own right. it’s just that sprites open up a whole new world of 100+ character possibilities, and I had to draw the line somewhere

- represent each character as their “essential” self. I tried to go for versions of each character that gave the "truest” impression of that character, if that makes sense? for example, I drew Terezi blind and Vriska w/ her robo-arm and blind eye b/c I feel these aspects are essential elements of their characters. Aradia, on the other hand, I drew pre-death, even though this doesn’t necessarily match the “timeline” for Terezi and Vriska’s injuries, b/c I feel that pre-death Aradia represents the “essential Aradia”

- keep overall “character themes” similar across the board. this could also be described by a few sub-points such as: “no god tiers,” “no dream selves,” and, “no alchemized outfits,” among others. I thought it would look oddly off-balance if, say, only some trolls were god-tier, or only one set of kids was wearing alchemized outfits rather than their original outfits. ~in general~ this resulted in drawing most characters as they first appeared in the comic, though there were obviously some exceptions. to return to Aradia’s example, I honestly think that godtier Aradia is the MOST “essential” Aradia of all of them, but the need to adhere to the “pre-game” theme of the rest of the beta trolls overrode that rule, so pre-death Aradia works just as well

#homestuck #4/13 #413 #homestuck 413 #homestuck 4/13 #I WAS LEGIT STILL MAKING LITTLE EDITS TO THIS UP 'TIL LAST NIGHT #TAKE THIS DAMN THING AWAY FROM ME

[curewhimsy]

OC a day 2- Reverie

This is so embarrassing, I barely even finished anything today...

2: Reverie

A brave and adventurous albino black male fairy. Also has a calm side. Likes to sleep. Responsible. He's grumpy sometimes. Very grumpy. Don't wake him up when he's asleep. Also tsundere.

Prince of dreams, lives on dreamy highlands. Mist-blue color scheme.

Age: 18

Birthday: March 9

Gender: Up to interpretation, but he is masculine-presenting and uses he/him pronouns.

Species: Fairy

Eye color: red

Hair color: white

Skin color: pale, with heavy freckles. He is albino.

Race/Ethnicity: Black/African

Height: 5.8 inches, which is 5'8" in human proportions.

Build: Semi-tall, somewhat chubby

Physical traits: Button nose,

Sexual orientation: Up to interpretation

Favorite food: White cloud biscuits in purple gravy

Type of magic: Dream magic,

Powers and abilities:

Non-magic abilities: Doing many cartwheels in a row Texting or typing very fast

Quirks: Is sleepy and grumpy a lot of the time Has a secret obsession with capybaras

Voice: Masculine, though somewhat airy and light. A slight rasp.

Relationship to other characters: Roy- boyfriend maybe Yumeka- good friend Poppy- rival kind of relationship Joy- he wants to protect her, not in a romantic way

Fictional characters inspired by: Akaito Shion (personality)

Tomodachi life personality: Brainiac

Love Live attribute: Cool

Pokemon Go team: Mystic

Theme songs:

Blood type: B+

Tv Tropes: Bishounen The Power of Friendship

Catchphrase: "Dashing!"

Favorite word: His name, also "dashing"

Motif: Clouds, stars, buttons, feathers, light blue color scheme

Items associated with the character: Clouds, stars,

Deadly sin: Sloth

Talents: Playing the violin Singing (he is decent at it)

Bad at: Athletics

Strengths: He is a determined person

Weaknesses: He can be lazy,

Hobbies:

Backstory:

Current story:

Future:

Fears: Monsters, glitches

Dreams: For a brighter future

Wishes:

Illnesses/Disabilities/Neurodivergencies: Up to interpretation

Random likes: Sleeping, naps, pillows, soft things, capybaras, biscuits, walnuts

Random dislikes: Loud noises, peppers,

Bad habits:

Obsessions:

Flaws: Can be a bit dense Can be a small bit

Usual clothing: Normal- Magical-

Style:

Mental characteristics: Equally logical inclined as he is creative.

Trait the character won't acknowledge: How cheesy he can be

Trait the character doesn't know they have: A really big heart. He also doesn't know he is dense.

What series they would be a fan of: CLAMP series' maybe

What characters they would get along with: Akaito Shion, Umi Sonoda,

What breaks them down emotionally:

As a season: Winter

As a flavor: Sweet mint

As a sound: An echoing voice

Music genre: Ambient

Literature genre: Science fiction

What would they do if their wish came true:

Would they believe in magic (if living in a world without it): Sure

Other things:

Character song lyric sample:

Create an AU series starring them:

Tiny drabble/scene:

#OC a day challenge