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red-moon-at-night · 11 months

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An Analysis of Haruka’s MVs: Distance and Disability

Hello! I’ve recently fallen down the rabbit hole that is Milgram and I have been itching to make some completely normal and sane analysis posts. My silly alternate title for this was gonna be “Things About Haruka’s MVs That Just Make Sense: A Hyperfixation-fuelled Analysis”, because honestly my autistic brain has been having a field day over here.

I am in awe with just about every single music video in this project; the animation is incredible and each one packs so much carefully laid out information. But I have been rotating Haruka’s in my head constantly since I first watched them, and I have a lot of Thoughts. Not about whether he’s guilty or innocent/forgiven or unforgiven. Not about whether or not I can justify his murders. Just some straight up imagery and symbolism analysis, through the lens of disability.

Haruka’s disability has not been specified, but I am confident we can at least say he is neurodivergent. I feel like the cultural differences in names for several things e.g. ‘learning disability’ vs ‘learning difficulty’ will just invite unnecessary drama, and is a little pedantic. What does matter here is that Haruka's experience as a disabled person is heavily intertwined within his story and his motives.

So, without further ado... let’s get into this!

Trigger warnings/TW: I will be discussing ableism, eugenics and harm towards disabled people. Everything else will be related to the music videos ‘Weakness’ and ‘All Knowing and All Agony’, so any triggering content within them may also be mentioned. Read at your own discretion and stay safe!

Disability: some brief (important) historical context

It is only within the last few decades that those who are disabled have been ‘seen’ for the first time. A modern society is (ideally) expected to be built to include and accommodate for disability, and to acknowledge disabled people’s existence. But for many countries (even the ones making steps outlined above) this is still not the case. For a very, very long time, globally, that has not been the case.

For most disabled people, society makes it very clear that they are a burden to it and are better off not existing.

I’m going to make this section as succinct as possible because...it’s heavy stuff. But it’s important, and I want you all to get the gist of what I’m saying. The weight of it.

Let’s highlight a piece of history regarding IQ and eugenics, surrounding the publication and subsequent worldwide reception of ‘The Kallikak Family: A Study in the Heredity of Feeble-mindedness’ by Henry Herbert Goddard in 1913:

“In 1927, it was used as evidence in the case of Buck v. Bell, which culminated in a Supreme Court ruling that the involuntary sterilization of ‘mentally defective’ persons was not unconstitutional in the United States. By 1938, thirty-three US states had passed laws allowing for the forced sterilization of women with learning disabilities and twenty-nine had made sterilization compulsory for people who were thought to have genetic conditions. Many European countries followed suit: Denmark in 1929, then Norway in 1934, and after that Sweden, Finland, Estonia, Iceland, Czechoslovakia, Yugoslavia, Latvia, Hungary and Turkey.”

— Limburg, J. (2021) Letters To My Weird Sisters: On Autism and Feminism, p. 126

This history of a ‘sterilization law’ includes Japan, who between 1948 and 1996 enacted the Eugenics Protection Law which “authorised the sterilization of people with intellectual disabilities, mental illnesses or hereditary disorders.” According to the government, about 25,000 were sterilized.

SO. It’s important to bring this up. To establish how much disabled people are not wanted, just from their governments. Let alone society. To this day, disabled people are hidden away from the public by families that are ashamed of their existence.

Japanese culture values collectivism, and maintaining the harmony of a group...to the extent of excluding those that don’t fit into the mould. That are different.

The question is: where do they go? The ones that are publicly rejected?

Haruka and The Curious Case of Distant Waters

Okay that’s enough of the heavy real-world stuff! Time to delve into some...*checks notes*...heavy fictional stuff. Fun!

Haruka’s MVs prominently display themes of distance and separation through the motif of water, specifically being submerged underwater.

The name Haruka reinforces this concept as the specific kanji used (遥) translates to ‘distant’, ‘remote’ or ‘far away’. As there are many, many kanji choices for the name (including but not limited to: ocean/sea, eternity/permeance, clear/distinct/obvious, and spring/growth/cherry blossom) it feels like a particularly cruel and intentional choice to go with that one.

Through the exploration of this motif, we can see the extent in which Otherness/the state of being ‘Other’ drives Haruka to great lengths to close the distance and escape it.

What I noticed throughout both MVs (particularly AK&AA but note the beginning scene of Weakness), is that whenever Haruka looks at himself in a reflective surface (e.g. the vanity mirror, the fish tank), water either begins to rise and overwhelms him, or is already there and he appears submerged:

I think this is the “All-Knowing” part of AK&AA. He knows he’s different, and he knows there’s a huge ocean between him and his peers, his family, everyone. A disconnect when trying to listen and understand, but also when trying to be understood by others and listened to himself.

You know when you submerge your head in water, and your hearing gets all muffled and incomprehensible? And have you ever tried speaking underwater? You can’t, because if you open your mouth you’ll drown. It’ll just come out as bubbles rising to the surface.

I also think the bubbles symbolise rising tension, between what he wants and what he currently has. Bubbles are everywhere in these MVs, even in places where they shouldn’t logically be? Such as this scene, following the line “don’t wipe me out, don’t wipe me out”:

Immediately pans up to Haruka gasping for breath, droplets of water rising from...somewhere. For about a split second, and they’re gone.

This boy is really going through it. I’m getting an ‘emerging from the ocean before I drown’ vibe from this one folks. When the line that follows this scene is “I can’t stop, I can’t stop”, what I’m REALLY hearing is “I can’t stop (killing) or I’ll drown”. This is his lifeboat, pulling him out from the depths of being neglected and hidden away, into the spotlight.

Some interesting images from Weakness in relation to that (of spotlights):

Anyways, onto the next point:

Blue to Orange: Water to...Nectar?

So, the orange liquid. It’s clearly representing blood, but I don’t think this is just a “danganronpa pink blood” situation of censoring/getting this video onto youtube without restrictions.

I think it’s most likely honey, specifically nectar.

The etymology of the word nectar shows its compounds translate to “death” and “overcoming”. Nectar is also called the drink of the gods, so it would make sense for it to be a ‘death-defeating’, immortalizing liquid.

For Haruka’s victims to contain nectar is very interesting. It reinforces that necessity to kill, to take the life of another, to sustain himself. To overcome the ‘living death’ he is experiencing by being hidden away from society.

This is his means of escape from drowning.

However, as we all know, things don’t turn out great for him. By the end of AK&AA Haruka is rejected once again by his mother, after which the door is shut (the light with it is gone too) and we’re met with this imagery:

The nectar floods the room, engulfing him much like the water from earlier.

There are many things we could take from this. One being that the nectar-gathering/killing-spree has clouded his vision; it’s so sweet, so sickly sweet and he’s addicted to the taste of attention, even if it’s very bad attention.

Who else has honey imagery in their MV again?

Oh, right.

Anyway, the nectar/honey situation could also be representing submerging into an even further level of distance. All that murder is gonna push people away, despite his motive being to close the gap between him and normal people. The 'ocean’ has lost clarity and become a maddening, delusional substance. After all, there is a type of honey literally called ‘mad honey’ known for its medicinal and hallucinogenic properties.

That’s enough about honey, though. Let’s move onto less unfortunate... oh, sorry, what was that? *checks notes*...Ah, yes. I meant to say, let’s move onto even more unfortunate symbolism:

The Necklace

So, this necklace. Haruka steals it from his mother’s belongings, and is his only material, physical connection to her. It is taken on the declaration of “making (her) love me again” and getting her attention once more, now he is no longer a child but a teenager closer to adulthood (at least, that’s what I consider the ‘shirt with a vest sweater and tie’ to represent. child him = the blue polo, teenager him = this one, adult him = an amalgamation of his teenager clothes).

I wasn’t sure if this was an opal or pearl/mother of pearl, but I’m leaning towards opal from the other depiction of it in Weakness:

Opals are fun because they can symbolise both good luck and bad luck, usually to do with whether it’s your birthstone. There’s something to be said of Haruka’s belief in his ‘misfortune’ and the superstition surrounding these gemstones.

But they are even more interesting for the powers they supposedly have; in medieval times the opal was considered the ‘patron of thieves’ for their ability to grant the wearer invisibility.

There is a deliciously sad irony to Haruka’s theft with that titbit of information.

Now, if this isn’t an opal, and it’s a pearl/mother of pearl there’s still some fun interpretation to be had! A little less sad, even. Pearls invoke strong imagery of the sea, of purity, and of a connection to the maternal. If this is the last thing he has relating to his mother, I can see this necklace representing a lifeline when he’s deep in the ocean. A reminder of why he’s doing all of this killing, and who it’s for.

His mother’s attention (or the idea of having a mother at all, any mother) is his driving force in life.

Speaking of that...

So We Really Need To Talk About That Fish Tank: AKA, Why Haruka’s Mom Wins ‘The Worst Parent of The Year’ Award

This fucking fish tank.

Okay, I’m gonna start by saying: I don’t think this is reading too far into things. When it takes an animation team months, sometimes years to create a 3-5 minute music video, and one as detailed as this...you don’t just wing it. There are storyboards, there are key frames and there are choices made down to the smallest of details.

From the sheer volume of animal/insect/fish décor that resides in the Sakurai household, you bet I’m gonna pay attention to what type of fish are in that fish tank.

For one thing, they live in saltwater. This is a marine tank, aka the harder choice of aquarium to have. I mean, way, WAY harder. For the experienced only.

These fish right here? One is a clownfish, and the other is a yellow boxfish.

Boxfish are a nightmare to keep alive. This article goes into more detail than I will, but all you need to know is: if there was ever a fish out of all the fish you could possibly want in your tank, this is the one to avoid like the plague.

They release deadly toxins when stressed, as a survival instinct. Boom. All your fish are dead. They need to eat a shit ton of food, but are notoriously clumsy swimmers and slow eaters. Boom. Starving, stressed out boxfish. Boxfish either dies from starvation or dies from stress and toxins.

For Haruka’s mom to have not just one of these fuckers, but a tank consisting ONLY OF MULTIPLE BOXFISH AND CLOWNFISH...

This is a high-maintenance tank. And it shows how much time and effort, how much care she puts into the things she loves.

How neglectful she is as a parent of a disabled child in contrast.

There’s something about the last scene between Haruka and his mother that reinforces this for me:

Haruka’s relationship with animals and himself: AKA, “why don’t I just become the damn fish tank?”

Let me backpedal a little bit. This subheading will make sense in a minute.

So, like I said earlier we have a lot of décor in this house relating to insects and fish. We also have a lot of pets. Both living and dead, taxidermized creatures in one household, proudly on display.

I think this may have created some confusion for Haruka regarding the value of animals being alive or dead, as in his perspective his mother values both equally. The fish in a tank may be full of alive creatures, but they’re still on display as if it’s artwork. Isn’t breaking the glass of a framed picture of a fish equal to breaking the glass of a tank with a ‘picture of living fish’?

(This isn’t to say Haruka is clueless to the impact of his actions, nor to justify any harm to animals. I just find the train of thought to be intriguing.)

So when considering these ‘objects’ are proud trophies of his work:

This is a carefully arranged display, which by the way, doesn’t contain a single fish. In fact the only piece of that moment visible here is the...large piece of driftwood? Okay. Keep that in mind.

We proceed into Haruka’s mother opening the door and seeing her son, for the first time in any of the MVs. Note the way they composed this shot:

I’m obsessed with this scene. The blue eye framing Haruka, with a literal fishbowl effect on him...

He is the goddamn fish in the aquarium now. His mother’s full attention is on him and him alone, with only the dead animals, the books, the lamp and the driftwood as window dressing to this wonderful display.

Doesn’t it just scream “Look at me! Look at what I did, mom!” to you?

That blue spotlight is on him once more. He is not just drifting deeper into an endless ocean, but contained in a vessel to be stared at.

One Last Observation

I didn’t know where to fit this in but I think the end feels appropriate.

His clothing here:

Is a frankenstein-esque mash up of clothes from his younger years. He wears this throughout AK&AA, and as I mentioned before it signifies him as an adult. However, I should clarify what I mean here as Haruka says “he thinks he’s 17″ and “doesn’t care about his age”. So... not an adult, but on the cusp of adulthood.

But I think he actually does care about his age, and quite a lot too.

This outfit feels symbolic of refusing to let go of the past, and of himself as a child. He’s literally grown out of his clothing, but he still clings onto it. He’s attached to the past because it not only contains his happiest moments, but the change from being loved to becoming neglected.

As a disabled person, you’re often treated with a lot more forgiveness when you’re younger. That is to say, some people don’t realise that children with disabilities grow up into adults with disabilities. There is a point where even support from medical and social services drops off like a cliff edge once you turn 18.

The ill-fitting clothing in this context becomes more than a reflection on Haruka’s feelings, and extends to reflecting society’s feelings on disabled adults ‘refusing to grow up’.

I don’t blame Haruka for holding onto his childhood like this. He’ll be even less publicly visible and seen once he is no longer a pitiful child, but a ‘weird’ adult in ill-fitting, children’s clothes.

#milgram #haruka sakurai #analysis #weakness #all-knowing and all-agony #symbolism #disability #*drops this onto the fandom like a ton of bricks* hi i'm new here pleasure to meet u #oh man I finally finished it... this is a very (and I mean a VERY) long post asdfghjkl #I'm pretty happy with how it turned out though! I got most of the things I wanted to say and point out down #believe it or not there was actually MORE I could've said but I think tumblr may have crashed on me if I did that lmao #particularly to do with Weakness as I focused more on AK&AA here. but anyways #I love how morally grey everyone is in this series! It makes for some really fun analysis!#it's so so nice seeing a disabled character in such a position too and not just 'is a cinnamon roll' or 'the devil reincarnate' yknow #I debated leaving in the real-world history stuff but I think it sets the tone of my analysis pretty well and shows the importance of--#--haruka's disability not as a justification of his actions but as a vital backdrop to his environment and struggles

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justali-anne · 2 months

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Have you ever stopped to think that if it weren't for Papyrus, the pacifist run in Undertale as you know it wouldn't have been possible?

Let's go over the important things he did, shall we?

His very desire to have a true friend drove Papyrus to befriend Frisk. This is the second crucial step to get a True Pacifist ending, the first being "no killing monsters, no no don't do it, naughty, not even a single dust pile to be seen, nope!"

Papyrus is the one who orchestrated the Undyne "date". He encouraged you to go to her house, he was the one who tricked Undyne into trying to befriend you/Frisk as a challenge, and then he jumped out the window like a boss. If it weren't for him, we wouldn't have befriended Undyne, and by extension, the Alphys date wouldn't have been possible.

After you reload, Papyrus was the one who encouraged Undyne to write a love letter to Alphys and get Frisk/you to deliver it to the lizard nerd. Source:

Papyrus showed up at the Alphys date too from seemingly out of nowhere. This could just be Papyrus being Papyrus, but personally, my interpretation is that he's been watching it from behind the scenes the whole time, checking if it's all going according to plan.

Aaaaand of course, Papyrus was the one who called everyone to the castle, allowing them to stop the Asgore fight and allowed the Asriel fight to begin.

Now, I've always loved the whole "meta reset awareness" thing Sans has, and I ESPECIALLY love the AUs or ATs where Papyrus is aware of the timelines too. My favourite is how Zarla portrays it, with both the Skelebros being in the same boat but riding out the storm together. How wholesome and sad...

So, I've been thinking: If you take into account Papyrus' contributions to the Pacifist run and combine it with the "Papyrus has reset awareness" theory/AU/interpretation... then it's possible that Papyrus knew what he was doing all along. Well, maybe not all of it, but perhaps he has just the SLIGHTEST awareness, like he's not actively thinking "I'm gonna make the Pacifist Route possible", but it's more like, "I'm going to give the human an incentive to befriend us and give them a happier ending." And I think that's very sweet.

Give it up for Papyrus, everybody! Because without him, we wouldn't have the True Pacifist ending as we know it.

Hats off to you, Papyrus!

#undertale #papyrus #papyrus appreciation? papyrus appreciation #my thoughts #also in an AU where the brothers DO remember resets i'm sure papyrus would do this on PURPOSE purpose #just saying #i've seen posts like this one actually #i just wanted to give my two cents #also papyrus can be SLY when he needs to be #he's a goofball but he's our goofball #ok?#cinnamon roll papyrus #undertale analysis

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20kmemesunderthesea · 5 days

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#jules verne #20000 leagues under the sea #captain nemo #classic literature #twenty thousand leagues under the sea #tkluts #steampunk #french literature #cinnamon roll #character analysis

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dearmahiru · 4 months

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i never realized it until now but don't you think mahiru and kotoko complement eachother quite nicely?

mahiru:

— brown short hair with an undercut — gentle brown tareme eyes — single sunflower earrings — shortest adult prisoner (154 cm) — often likened to the sun because of her sunny disposition (+ she's a bluebird) — wants to wear a wedding ring

kotoko:

— black short hair with an undercut — intense red tsurime eyes — stacked piercings — described as a model's physique (171 cm) — runs with her wolf pack during the nighttime, and dawn breaks during the climax of harrow — wears two silver rings

which is interesting isn't it? though their personalities are very different from one another, they're quite like two sides of the same coin in terms of character design. this intrigues me because it brings attention to a fascinating aspect about them, namely, their divergent views on femininity.

Mahiru’s 14 items to stop men’s hearts with your feminine charm Learn how to do everything from the distinct slim silhouette that’s popular with men to playing the part of the mature oneesan. Be sure to get the items that catch your eyes ♪

Q. What do you think about the word 'femininity'? Kotoko: "It's one of the means you can take. It's something you can freely choose depending on the scene, so it's not something to cling onto."

femininity is something mahiru actively pursues as apart of her gender expression. though she can simply enjoys being cute, mahiru is also very insecure, being pressured by the magazines to "always look her best," and seeking constant attention from her boyfriend. in other words, something she clings to. (add that to the "mahiru suffocation symbolism" board, boys.)

meanwhile, kotoko thinks of femininity as an asset, something to use. in a similar manner, she's also seen using androgny to her advantage. in harrow, she consciously wear baggy clothing, hoods, and masks outside to make it harder for the police to identify her. (i'm quite interested in what she'd look like in a softer more preppy style honestly.)

this doesn't have a thesis or anything btw o7 i'm just ill about them and convinced something major will happen between them. they're gonna kiss i can feel it in my bones

#this was apart of a much longer mahiru/kotoko relationship potential analysis but i think i'm just gonna break it down to bite-sized pieces #im too tired to write long posts and im not good at them anyway lmao #♡. cinnamon lead astray #milgram #mahiru shiina #kotoko yuzuriha

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kkujo · 1 year

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bruabba and fugio are good ships however 80% of the people who post about them are annoying about it. like. same with jotakak and kakyoin stans actually. the way ppl obsess over them and water it down until it's so uwuified and far removed from the source that the characters are just bland and boring. idk where i was going with this

#don't get me wrong i enjoy all 3 ships and i like kakyoin and i like part 5 #but the way these things get treated in the fandom is so annoying it's genuinely so annoying #unfortunately a lot of part 5 stans just completely get the characterisation wrong #like bruno isn't an uwu softboy mommy 😭😭😭😭 yes he's a parental figure but he's also like really unhinged and traumatised.#he's a good person but he's fucked up why are we making him into a bland uwu cinnamon roll #same w fugo and giorno.... they both have severe trauma & fugo has anger issues and giorno can be manipulative and cold etc etc #so it's so weird to me when ppl see them as like cutesy softboys DOES THIS MAKE SENSE #also people misunderstand giorno as boring or too similar to jonathan but the whole point is he's a mix of jonathan and dio...#yes he's kind but he will also do almost anything to achieve his goals even if it means people die #he's actually a really interesting character with different layers but people miss it 😭#< obviously it's fine to draw/write cutesy stuff and not focus on character analysis. sometimes u just gotta make it fluffy #but i swear it's like 90% of the content for some of these characters #kakyoin especially holy shit. the like. feminization of kakyoin in the fandom is literally gross at times #when ppl turn him into like a twinky little femboy... come on be so real have you SEEN him #especially when ppl hc him as trans masc and then draw him hyper feminine.... when in canon he's rlly masculine.... guys ☹#<like obviously trans men can be feminine but when ppl make a masculine character super feminine bc of a trans hc. that's. weird

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shrimplicitly · 1 month

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watched american psycho for the first time the other night. feeling like i want to crack the cinnamon tography open ans bathe in its ribcage.

#image.txt #MAKES NO GODDAMN SENSE. compells me though...#really though i enjoyed it. i enjoyed the themes ans narratives and christain bale becoming more and more insnane #the scene where hes crying to his lawyer on the phone and all his brit comes out. anyway. back to the themes and narratives #the movie is actually so so so cool with it. the lighting and sound and cinnamon i already made that joke #should i read yhe book. i know its worse than the movie. but should i read it to get a full analysis of bateman #i have to go return shome video tapesh #i cannot tell what is reality and batemans unreliable story telling

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thevagabondexpress · 1 year

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a mad scientist and an angry fanauthor v. the harmful myth of the cinnamon roll. or, some issues a tsc fan sees in tsc, pt. ii

"Alas, Christopher is far more at home with beakers and test tubes than he is with female company. Let's just hope he doesn't pitch poor Rosamund into the refreshment table." — James Herondale, Chain of Gold

Cinnamon roll. You know the term. You've heard it around. I don't know if it's still in use, maybe I'm dating myself with it. But you know what it means.

Think of someone sixteen years or older that you consider to be a cinnamon roll. Get a good picture of that person, fictional or real, in your head.

I was a cinnamon roll for a very long time. That's how my friends treated me, that's how my first girlfriend treated me, and it's even, in a few cases, a monicker they directly applied to me. And I hated it. It showed that they only cared to know me on this superficial level of "adorable baby too good and pure for this world." They didn't care about the less adorable, less innocent, less naïve, and definitely also a high school student and not a child who lay underneath the oversized spectacles, the choice to keep my business to myself (my school friends simply did not need to know what I read and wrote on AO3 or how foul my mouth could get if I wanted it to) and the long-standing hyperfixation. They didn't want to see about the parts of me that didn't fit their precious archetype.

Does this sound familiar?

Enter Christopher Lightwood. I can guarantee you this was his experience, except that never once do we get enough from his point of view in the series to let us actually see it. Maybe I'm just projecting here (because why wouldn't one project onto their fictional crush) but I had issues with the way Cassandra Clare wrote, framed, and treated Christopher long before his narrative's ending in Chain of Thorns. He was mistreated consistently by the narrative, by the society around him, and unconsciously by his own closest friends.

Think about it. He's consistently dismissed, even by those closest to him, as the cinnamon roll, the mad scientist, the one who's bad at social interaction, the one who's definitely not interested in romance, with no input from Christopher himself whatsoever at all to confirm or deny any of these stereotypes. He's constantly belittled, his friends and even his sister treat him like he's six, not sixteen (upon hearing of his death Charles calls him "Little Kit" as if the person in question wasn't two years away from being a legal adult). They seem to think he can't take care of himself just because he's absentminded, nobody ever tells him anything important (Thomas only realizes he should've told Christopher about Alastair once Christopher's gone), and any time he tries to step out of the "mad scientist" box his decisions are questioned and he's thrown right back in. Say what you will about Grace Blackthorn but she and Henry are the only people who actually get Christopher, who not only understand him but make attempts to understand him at more than a superficial level.

And because nobody's obviously outright hurting him and he doesn't have a deadbeat and/or abusive parent and he's pretty good at just keeping a cheerful face on about it because being angry and mean doesn't do anything but make a situation worse, you don't even realize it until you go back through and look for yourself. And I encourage you to look for yourself. I'm only the pastor, I ain't the Bible.

And guess what? Christopher Lightwood is also a textbook cinnamon roll.

Except he's not. There is no such thing as a cinnamon roll. They don't exist, no more than Santa Claus or Alexandria's Genesis. And that person you've just called a cinnamon roll? Yeah, they're gnashing their teeth, ready to scream.

The cinnamon roll is a myth. A harmful myth, one used primarily in three ways: by allo people against ace, aro, and aroace people, by neurotypical people against people with autism, adhd, and similarly-presenting neurodivergences, and by cis and binary trans people against nonbinary people, to infantalize them, to put them in a neatly definable category, and to keep them in that box where they have no power. As a person who is all three: a grey-asexual, nonbinary, and neurodivergent, it was a deeply hurtful label I couldn't escape.

Neither could Christopher.

And in the end, it killed him.

"some issues a tsc fan sees in tsc" is an attempt to break down the unacknowledged things in tsc that i unearthed reading chain of thorns, rereading the rest of the series in preparation for it, and writing two longform fanfics (one of them a genderbent canon reworking) for the last hours. click on the "some issues..." tag to see more of these.

#some issues a tsc fan sees in tsc #tlh #tsc #the last hours #the shadowhunter chronicles #vent post #fan analysis #analyzing the last hours #christopher lightwood #asexuality #neurodivergence #fan essay #beautiful cinnamon roll too good for this world too pure

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cinnamon-notes · 4 months

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i've been sleeping so long in a twenty-year dark night but now i see daylight

[bio] : cinnamon, roaring twenties || she/they, lesbian || english speaker (not my native language though) || cancer sun, leo rising, cancer moon || infp || either dark academia aesthetic or boho it depends on what im going through :) || i judge taylor swift for putting ice in her wine

[likes/stans] : taylor swift, gilmore girls, F•R•I•E•N•D•S, cate blanchett, lauren graham|| evermore and reputation stan || i stole my personality from lorelai gilmore || cats, french movies, xmas movies, tea, cinnamon (as you can tell from my user) || wine and coffee || books, poetry, art, photography || butch up my personality (and act out of character) by watching sports while drinking beer || the autumn sky half an hour before sunset || the moon (im her secret lover) || i write my silly little poems, i play my silly little instruments, i make my silly little art, i take silly little pictures || "taylor had an imaginary friend as a child and seven is about their braids like a pattern and their face taylor cannot recall but the love taylor still got for them" truther || she/they james truther || carolina is este's ghost || olivia is taylor's best cat (!!!) || the joker and the queen is taylor's best collab with ed (after run)

[dnf] : homophobic, xenophobic, racist, transphobic, zionist, ... discriminate and are against basic human rights || you're younger than 13, it just creeps me out (sorry. it's not in a mean way) || i post about my mental issues (i mostly struggle with ocd, depression, and have an ed); i always put trigger warnings but if you aren't okay with these topics, just feel free to unfollow/not follow.

[what i post] : mainly my random thoughts, facts/updates/vents about my life || journal-like paragraphs || i write poems and i have some wips going on, although i dont publish my works here, i tend to share the creative process a lot || taylor swift's lyrics analysis, lyrics parallels, quotes i like, poetry (not mine) || swiftie/friends-related content || movies i watch, books i read, paintings i love, songs i play

[my hashtags] : see the tag #cinnamon-taglist (you can find it in the tags of this post)

i love talking to people, so feel free to interact, it is more than welcome! thanks for following my blog, i hope you'll have a good time checking it! <3

#intro post #introduction #blog intro #cinnamon notes #cinnamon talks #cinnamon answers #cinnamon replies #cinnamon smokes #cinnamon polls #cinnamon and the folks #cinnamon analysis #cinnamon in love #i'm her dorothea #cinnamon situationship #cinnamon at work #cinnamon crochets #cinnamon taglist

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starstaiined · 1 year

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do you ever think about the fact that every person in tara's life (with the exception of the twins) has broken her heart in some way, shape, or form? her dad left, her mom sucks, her sister left, wes and liv died (not their fault, still impacted tara heavily), amber betrayed her. she forms new connections with quinn, and ethan, and they do the exact same thing. she can't seem to escape the betrayal

#scream #scream vi #scream spoilers #tara carpenter #everytime she opens her heart and loves deeply she ends up getting gutted in the long run #i have a long ass analysis on her reaction to livs death specifically #but jesus the girl really cannot catch a break #i was listening to cinnamon girl and the lyrics 'if you hold me without hurting me / you'll be the first who ever did' hit me #anyways crying over my baby girl

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anthurak · 2 years

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Something I’ve found both really interesting and also pleasantly surprising about Ice Queendom is how the team has rather played up Ruby’s cutesy, innocent demeanor, while at the same time NOT compromising her very take-charge attitude and level-head in a crisis along with ZERO hesitation to fight her way out of a bad situation.

Like when Ruby is confronted by the first mech in Episode 4, she isn’t startled or runs away. She cuts that thing DOWN on first instinct!

And through the rest of the episode, you really get the sense that Ruby is trying to avoid fights with the mechs not because she’s all that afraid or threatened by them, but because she’s trying to find Weiss, NOT get into needless fights.

Because of all this, I think SHAFT have really well-adapted that great contrast which helps make Ruby such a fun, unique and interesting heroine: She’s BOTH a cute, kind, wholesome, innocent-looking young girl AND a badass, seasoned warrior who’s always ready for a fight, without one side ever really overriding the other.

#rwby #rwby ice queendom #rwby analysis #Ruby Rose #Ruby is Awesome #badass ruby #there are many cinnamon rolls who COULD murder you #ruby is the cinnamon roll who WOULD murder you XD

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chiefbeifongcanrailme · 2 years

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15 and 20 for Lin?

15) What’s the most obvious difference between their behavior at home, at work, at school, with friends, and when they’re alone? I think the most obvious thing would be how guarded she is in all these different environments. At work/school (let's say metal bending academy?) she'd have her walls all the way up: not a hint of her true self in sight. Of course, she'd let loose a little bit if she's in a good mood like the famous, "You should've seen Air Temple Island after Tenzin broke up with me." followed by a smirk, however, she wouldn't entertain any questions or comments about the same. And that's how I see most people in her professional life catching glimpses of her private life: witty one-lined anecdotes. Lin isn't someone who'd have a whole group of friends and such, she's too much of a lone wolf in that regard. However, I think there are two paradigms she'd assign "friends": 1) Her work friends/officers which I just described, and 2) Tenzin, Korra etc- and I'd imagine she'd decide how open she wants to be with these people based on her individual relationships. She'd certainly be more open around someone like Mako, Katara, or Opal than say, Pema or Bolin? And this is what lands her sitting quietly and observing during a full group setting- only participating when imperative. Of course, there's the family equation here too where I like to think she gets along far better (and therefore is more candid) around her niece and nephews compared to her mother and sister. I'd even go as far as saying that Lin probably has a better working relationship with Bataar while sitting in silence than with Suyin talking her ear off. And finally, when Lin is alone- which is most times (if you discount all my little AUs and peep into canon), she's certainly herself but I still think she remains guarded and doesn't let herself feel things as freely as she'd like- because who's going to clean up the mess? She, herself? She'd rather brush it all under a rug and maybe have an outburst at a later time. But, ignoring the guidelines that canon is to me: I think she'd be most herself with a partner- be it whoever. Lin is very likely to only emotionally engage herself in meaningful, sensible relationships. When it comes to frivolous, shallow ones like just sex, or FWB, etc- she doesn't get emotionally involved. With that out the way- I see Lin being completely off guard with the former kind of partner who likely lives with her and helps her be herself alone in their presence. You know what I mean? I think I've forgotten how to articulate lol.

20) Who do they like as a person but hate their work? Vice versa, whose work do they like but don’t like the person? Haha, this answer is so funny to me. I think she likes Toph as a person because, well, that's her mother and she's wired to like her, but I do think she hates the way in which Toph operates. Toph is callous, reckless, and largely uncaring, while Lin is the polar opposite and her fastidious nature probably makes her view Toph as a living hypocrisy. It must drive her nuts lmao. I think she likes Tenzin's work: he's dedicated to his duties and his cause but, spirits she hates that man for what he did to her. Also Varrick: decent movers, terrible person lol.

Ask me questions about my OC and Lin, I guess haha.

#lin beifong #chief beifong #an in depth analysis on my baby cinnamon roll

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foodfightnovelization · 8 months

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Chapter 24: Analysis and Discussion

So here we are at Chapter 24, finally at the end of this novelization. It's been a wild ride, right? From different dialogue, to entirely new characters, to scenes that weren't in the final film at all, this has been SO much more enjoyable than watching the actual movie. The changes made in the novelization add so much to the story, and a lot of what I didn't like about the movie was either changed or left out entirely. I hope you enjoyed reading about it and reading along with me, because I sure loved writing about it. With all that said and done, let's see how this story ends, right?

Hairy Hold finally shows up to join the Resistance...after everything's already over, of course. Dex congratulates everyone on a job well done, but tells them they still have a lot of work to do- the store opens in just four hours. It's then that Dr Nustrix shows up and says he's created an antidote that should bring all the Ikes they lost back to life. He spritzes Polar Penguin with it and he wakes up, as if he were just in a deep sleep the entire time. The only difference here between the novelization and the movie's version of events is the additional line from Dex about their store opening in 4 hours, which is pretty minor but does remind us there's still work to be done as well as the nature of Marketropolis' existence.

Polar says he knew Dex would save him, and Sunshine tells Dex how proud he deserves to be, jumping into his arms and throwing a raisin in the air for him to catch in his mouth. Dan lampshades how everything really turned out perfect in the end, and Dex finally pulls the engagement ring from his pocket (remember, from when he was going to propose to Sunshine right at the beginning of the story?) and she instantly says yes, the whole store cheering as the two finally kiss. Dan almost starts crying until he notices Sweet Cakes giving him a flirty look, and realizes he might be getting some action too. This scene is once again the same across both the novelization and the movie, with the exception of the brief exchange between Dan and Sweet Cakes at the end. So, this is the second-to-last page, and with only one more to go, you'd THINK things would stay the same and the novelization wouldn't end in a completely different way to the movie, right? Well, good guess but you'd actually be wrong!

We cut to the next morning, back in the supermarket. Mr Leonard looks around and sees burnt, destroyed Brand X products littering the floor and is mortified until he notices all the colorful, familiar products are back on their shelves, everything back the way it should be. He's suitably puzzled, thinking this must be some sort of dream.

A month later, he's helping a customer load groceries into her cart, with all the products at the top of the bag being ones we're now familiar with- Kaptain Krispy chips, Polar Pleasures ice cream, and Twinkleton toothpaste. As she leaves, a large delivery truck pulls up- but this time it's a shipment Mr Leonard's excitedly been expecting for a while now. He opens the box and pulls out a brand new box of cereal- "New and Improved Cinnamon Sleuth Cereal- Now with Sunshine Goodness Raisins".

So, uh...YEAH. This is COMPLETELY different from how the movie ends, and it's a total last-second left turn. For context, in the movie after Dex proposes to Sunshine, we cut to their wedding at the Copbanana. It's being ordained by a rabbi, and Dex stomps on a carton of milk before he and Sunshine kiss. Dr Nustrix is shocked by this, and loudly exclaims "Dex is JEWISH?" as the credits start rolling, interrupted several times by brief interludes showing all the Ikes having fun at Dex and Sunshine's wedding. There are literally no similarities AT ALL to compare between these two endings, it's crazy how completely different in tone and content they are.

I VASTLY prefer the novelization's ending, however. It's way more toned-down, with a quiet scene of Mr Leonard being baffled by what happened to his store overnight, like he finally gets a hint that something more is going on behind the doors of his supermarket after it closes, a brief wink toward the world of Marketropolis he'll never see. Although we lose the revelation of Dex being Jewish (losing out on some much-needed representation), the much more subtle implication that Dex and Sunshine are now married by showing a Cinnamon Sleuth box with Sunshine Goodness raisins now in the mix is a much sweeter and genuinely endearing way for the story to end. It does raise some questions about how marriage works in Marketropolis- for instance, if Mr Clean marries Charlie Tuna, do the two products combine and release an all-purpose cleaner that smells like fish?

Regardless, it's a lovely ending to the story, and I really hope everyone enjoyed reading along with me. I definitely enjoyed combing through this and talking about all the changes made, and I absolutely consider Foodfight! The Junior Novelization to be a far superior version of the story. Of course, a lot of that is likely down to the novelization being based on an earlier version of script and so the writers also deserve a share of the credit for that, but without this novelization we may have never even got to know what that early script was like!

Now that I've finished going through the novelization in its entirety, I'll put it up on the Internet Archive for everyone to read whenever they want- after all, this is the only copy known to exist, and I want to make sure it's properly preserved. Thank you again to anyone who's been reading this blog and joining me on this journey, I'm honored to have shared this experience with you. I mean, how often do you get to read the only copy of a book known to exist, share it with the entire world, AND unravel a huge part of the tangled web of mysteries behind the production of Foodfight!?

I'll update this blog again when I've uploaded the book to the Internet Archive, but for now this is Tiffany Amber, signing off!

#daredevil dan #dex dogtective #foodfight #analysis #book review #charlie sheen #lady x #novelization #wayne brady #eva longoria #cinnamon sleuth cereal now with sunshine goodness raisins #ending

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