#chwe hansol angst

[wheeboo]

apartment 218 | hansol vernon chwe

SYNOPSIS. in which living with a ghost is something you consider routine, but it sucks getting too used to his company when your lease is about to expire. PAIRING. ghost!hansol vernon chwe x gn!reader (ft. kinda nosy seungkwan and a mention of mingyu) GENRE. ghost au, fluff, kinda angsty (pls take my laptop away from all the angst i've been writing) WARNINGS. cursing, mentions of death (cuz yk... he's dead), seungkwan playfully calls the reader "honey" at some point WORD COUNT. 3k

notes: shoutout to the special gose ep for giving me ghost vernon lol 💘 i've been writing a lot of vernon lately oof ,, maybe this is a sign

You find yourself fumbling with the keys to your apartment, struggling to not drop the groceries in your hands, and you can feel the plastic bags cutting into your fingers. You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. Finally, after what feels like an eternity, you manage to insert the key into the lock and turn it.

The door swings open, and you step into the familiar comfort of your apartment. The cool air inside welcomes you as you shut the door behind you, immediately darkening the inside of your place and muffling the sounds of the bustling city outside. With a sigh of relief, you set the bags of groceries down on the kitchen counter and turn on the light.

However, you freeze for a moment to listen to the silence, noticing how that it's too quiet for your liking. Stepping to the side, you glance down at the floor, eyes catching sight of the empty cat bowl by your feet.

And with that, you call out, "Vernon!" Then you pick up the metal bowl in your hands. "I thought I told you to refill Tofu's bowl when I was gone."

There's some harrowing silence that passes as you tug a bag of nearly-empty cat food from your small pantry, and with a resigned expression, pour the last remaining contents of kibble into the bowl. The clinking sound of the kibble hitting the metal is the only noise in the room, and when you finish, you place the bowl back down on the floor.

You hear a faint rustling sound from behind the couch in your little living room. Tofu emerges, stretching lazily before padding over to his refreshed meal, shooting you a brief glance with his bright blue eyes. His long white tail swishes back and forth with excitement and curiosity as he eagerly begins to nibble on the food.

Then, you hear a voice whisper closer to your ear, practically startling you, "Sorry."

"Shit! I𑁋" You purse your lips together. "I told you not to scare me like that!"

"Sorry," Vernon mutters again, voice barely louder than a whisper. A slight breeze brushes past your ear, and you can't shake the feeling of someone's presence lingering in the room. Then when you glance up, you see him materialising in your direction, flickering translucently under the dim lighting. "I was going to feed him, but it takes a lot of energy to... you know..."

You watch as Vernon's ghostly figure wavers in the air, saddened features traced on his face. It's not the first time he's struggled to maintain a solid form, and you've come to understand that his energy is limited, especially when trying to interact with the physical world.

"Yeah, I... Sorry, I should've thought about that," You say apologetically, scratching at your neck guiltily.

You watch the way Vernon kneels down at Tofu's side and runs a barely-there hand over the cat's fur, as if trying to reassure him. Tofu seems to sense the presence and leans into the touch, purring contentedly, before resuming back to his meal. It's an unusual scene, but it's become a part of your everyday life𑁋coexisting with a ghost in your apartment. Usually you'd hear that kind of story in a horror movie, but honestly, your experience has been anything but scary.

It's unusual, but... also oddly comforting; a bit less lonely.

"It's fine, really," Vernon says as he stands back up, observing as you start to sluggishly put your groceries away. You're probably tired, he assumes. "But I was able to finish the rest of your Nutella sticks𑁋"

"Are you kidding me? You don't need food," You groan annoyingly, yet there's a hint of a smile at your lips.

"Dude, you left it open on the table. Did you want ants to get to it?" Vernon laughs softly, the sound like a gentle breeze rustling through the room. "I'm just trying to be helpful, you know. Sharing is caring."

"Yeah, whatever. Thanks, I guess."

Vernon lets out a little chuckle, and for a moment, you almost forget he's not a living, breathing person. You take a step closer to him, and although you can't quite touch him, you offer an air-high-five. He responds by mimicking the gesture, and you both laugh.

You still remember the first time you met him. The context was... strange: you had just gotten out of the shower, dressed in nothing but a towel and when you had gone out of the bathroom to head to your bedroom, you had spotted Vernon hovering in the hallway and let out a startling scream that echoed through the apartment. In that ungainly moment, your towel nearly slipped from your grasp, and you had scrambled to keep it up.

Vernon, for his part, had looked equally flustered, stammering out apologies and explanations about not intending to startle you and looking away awkwardly as you slipped inside your bedroom and shut the door behind.

(However, you thankfully never caught the way his ears flared a faint shade of pink, as if he were blushing too, despite being a ghost, as he had overestimated his materialising ability. He would bring that secret to his otherworldly grave, or wherever spirits go when they finally move on.)

At first, you wanted nothing to do with him, but you also really had no choice but to get used to him. He's lived here longer than you, bound to the confining walls of your apartment that he used to call home himself, even telling you that you're the only person from previous tenants to stay longer than three months.

To be honest, you find yourself looking forward to his company more often than not. And over time, you both developed an unusual but deep friendship. It was an arrangement that defied logic but... somehow felt right. While you couldn't exactly touch him (you can if he was solid, which was quite rare) or share a meal, you could share your about your day and your thoughts. You'd tell him about your work, your family, the little joys, the frustrations, and he'd listen willingly. He looks to be around the same age as you, despite you being alive and him being dead, and you often wonder about his life before he became a ghost.

But Vernon is mostly tight-lipped about his past, and you've learned not to pry. All you know is that he was your age or around your age when he died, and that he used to live in the apartment you reside in. You didn't mind all that though. It wasn't your place to ask, and if you were a ghost yourself, you probably wouldn’t talk about it as well.

Sometimes there are peculiar incidents that happen in your apartment, like objects moving on their own or lights flickering. There were times where the snack you're eating or the drink you're drinking empties, wondering where the hell it even goes after that. Like does he even digest? You’ve never seen him use the bathroom…

But it's become normal for you, knowing Vernon was just trying to interact with the physical world in his own limited way without trying to disturb you��just to let you know that he's there.

It just sucks knowing that in a few short months, you're moving out.

“And, oh my God, you wouldn’t believe this, Y/N…”

It’s another voice that hits Vernon’s ears, which immediately prompts him to fade away from his spot on the floor where he was petting Tofu as he hears the door unlock. He recognises the voice, knowing it's one of your closest friends who has come to your place quite a lot.

Over the past year of you staying here, he's seen many people come and go out of your place. Whether it was a visit from close friends, family, or the occasional date that you'd have over that would go nowhere, Vernon had become accustomed to sharing the space with them. Yet, he couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy that would occasionally surface when he saw you with other people.

He knew it was irrational to feel that way. You're alive, and you deserved to live your life to the fullest. But the sensation persisted, like an unfamiliar ache that lingered within him.

It's only recently that he's grown to accept these deeper feelings within him, realising himself of how much you captivate him. Like the way your eyes light up when you're excited, the subtle blush that graces your cheeks when you're embarrassed, and the warmth in your smile that even reaches your eyes. He found a strange comfort in simply being near you and watching you from afar.

He often found himself thinking about you, wondering what it would be like if he could hold your hand, if he could brush a strand of hair away from your face, among other things. Perhaps it was just the loneliness that came with being a ghost, but he couldn't deny that he had grown attached to you more than he could ever realise himself. After all, what could he, a ghost, offer you?

You gasp loudly. "No way, I thought Mingyu broke up with that asshole."

"Clearly not! Since I spotted them together when I was getting coffee the other day," Seungkwan exclaims while closing the door to your apartment behind him. "They were all over him, it was so disgusting. Poor Mingyu. He deserves better."

You could only chuckle as you hear Seungkwan's exasperated voice, knowing that his dramatic retellings of gossip always brought a smile to your face. At the corner of your eye, though, you spot the door to your bedroom open slightly, noticing Vernon's ghostly figure reappear with a small wave, to which you give a knowing look and a subtle nod back to him.

"Y/N, why do you have so many cups out?" Seungkwan points out to the three glass cups sitting on your kitchen counter, also noticing an opened Nutella sticks snack standing idly next to them. "Jeez, honey, you're gonna catch roaches!"

Vernon, is all you can think about, and it makes you roll your eyes.

"I guess I got a bit lazy with the dishes," You excuse, and you swear you can feel Vernon's eyes peering in your direction. "I'll clean them up later."

"Yeah, well, whenever you move into your new place, I better not be seeing any of those little fuckers around," Seungkwan muses teasingly, and instantly, the smile to your face fades away.

Vernon is listening. You know he is. And when you shoot a glance in the direction of your bedroom, you watch the way the door quietly and slowly shuts itself. You bite down at your bottom lip, cursing to yourself lowly. You've never told him about your lease expiring and plan to move away, and for some reason, it makes your heart feel way heavier than normal.

"I'll... make sure of it," You respond quietly.

Seungkwan leaves your place when evening starts to settle into night. There's a deep sigh that leaves your lips as the sound of his footsteps fades away and you're left to yourself. The apartment suddenly feels too quiet, a noticeable void in the air surrounding you, a noticeable absence... of Vernon.

You catch your feet heading in the direction of your bedroom, stopping in front of the door with a weight to your chest that feels almost suffocating. You push it open and step inside, finding Vernon sitting on the edge of your bed, his body flickering in the soft glow of the bedside lamp. He's not looking at you when you enter the room; instead, his gaze is focused on some distant point in the room.

"Vernon?" You call out softly, approaching up to him.

He glances up, his glassy eyes meeting yours, and he offers a faint smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. "Hey."

Another round of silence passes. It's full of anticipation, hesitation, hanging thickly in the air between the two of you. The soft hum of the bedside lamp is the only sound in the room, casting a warm, golden glow that paints shadows on the walls.

"Uh, do..." You pause. "...do you want to watch a movie?"

The question leaves your mouth so suddenly that you're not even sure where it came from. You see the way Vernon's features shift in surprise, his translucent form wavering slightly.

"Sure, that sounds nice," Vernon finally replies, the ghost of a smile playing at the corners of his lips. You can see the flicker of excitement in his eyes, a glimmer of something that resembles joy, and it warms your heart.

He follows you into the living room, a coolness hitting your skin as he settles down on the couch next to you. Tofu jumps onto the couch as well, settling in a cozy spot between the two of you and letting out a contented purr. You select a light-hearted movie that you both have watched a plentiful of times before, but never fails to bring smiles to your faces and laughs cascading out of your mouths.

As the movie starts, you and Vernon fall into a comfortable silence, watching the plot unfold on the screen, the weight in your chest lightening, but the tension is still evident in the air. You occasionally glance at Vernon, noting the way the light from the TV passes through him, yet the features on his face are almost as clear as day.

The movie plays on, and you find yourself absorbed in the familiar storyline, but your mind keeps drifting back to Vernon. Your gaze lingers on his profile for a moment longer than usual, taking in the way his eyes flicker with the light from the screen, the way his lips curve in amusement, just him.

You've spent so much time with him the past year, yet the thought of leaving him behind when you move to your new place carves a bittersweet hole to your chest. You've always been taught to venture out into the world, to seek new experiences and make new memories, but it seems like the universe hadn't accounted for the attachment you would build with a ghost, of all things.

You glance down at his hand, and a fleeting thought crosses your mind. Without thought, you tentatively extend your hand towards Vernon's, your fingers reaching out to graze the faint shimmer of his see-through form, and you swear you can almost feel the faintest tingle of his touch. The sensation is imperceptible, but it still sends a shiver down your spine.

Taking his attention away from the movie, Vernon's eyes widen as your fingers make contact with his hand. The sensation is weird, a combination of a subtle chill and an even more subtle warmth, like a faint breeze brushing across your skin. His physique flickers for a moment, the contact seemingly affecting him as well.

Absolutely no one would understand the kind of situation you've dug yourself in, but that's okay. You like knowing that it's just you and him.

The two of you only share a small smile, before returning your focus back to the movie.

And when the movie ends, with your hands still touching-but-not-touching, you both sit in silence, the credits rolling on the screen. Time seems to slow down as the room falls into a hushed silence.

"I'm sorry," You mumble, voice barely audible in the quiet room. "for not telling you."

Vernon's gaze remains locked on the spot where your fingers had grazed his hand, even though there's no longer any contact. He remains silent for a moment, his ghostly form flickering like a fragile flame.

Then, in a soft, almost hesitant tone, he finally speaks, "It's okay, Y/N."

There's a mixture of emotions in his voice𑁋understanding, sadness, and perhaps a touch of longing. His eyes meet yours, and there's something unspoken there that you both convey.

"I didn't want to tell you because... I didn't want to make you feel alone," You explain. "But I also didn't want to leave without saying goodbye."

Vernon's sheer body seems to soften as he listens to your words. There's a vulnerability in your voice that he can feel deep in his own heart. It's a strange sensation𑁋this longing to comfort you while knowing that there's little he can do in his current state.

"I get it," he says gently. "It was bound to happen eventually."

A wistful sigh leaves your lips as you rest your back fully against the couch, your hand still not leaving its place on (or in?) Vernon's own hand at your side.

"Do... do you ever wish things were different?" You ask almost hesitantly, and nervously.

This only makes a faint smile cross his face. "Yeah," he answers, before shooting a glance down at your hands. "I wish I could touch you without the pain, or just... be with you in a more real way, you know?"

A smile of your own tugs itself at your lips.

"I wish that too," You confess, voice soft, a vulnerability in the room suspending in the air. "But maybe you can... try? It-It's okay if you don't want to, or if it hurts too much. I just... wanted to know."

Vernon's gaze lingers in contemplation on your intertwined fingers for a moment before he closes his eyes, a deep breath escaping his lips. You can see the struggle in his face, the effort it takes to materialise just a little bit more.

And then, it happens. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, his hand becomes more solid, the ghostly quality fading just a bit. Your breath catches as you feel the warmth of his hand enveloping yours, fingers entwined together seemingly perfectly.

A soft gasp escapes your lips as you savour the feeling, your heart beating a little faster than before, the moment suddenly feeling incredibly intimate. Vernon's eyes remain closed, his concentration evident, yet when he opens his eyes, he finds you gazing at him with nothing but wonder. He swears he can physically feel the heat rising up his neck and into his ears the longer you look at him.

When your eyes drift back down to his hand, you let your free one trace light shapes on his knuckle with a finger.

"I... I'm really going to miss you," You let out quietly.

This only makes his grip on your hand tighten just slightly.

"Yeah," he whispers begrudgingly. "I'm going to miss you too."

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[wooahaes]

i can't run away

pairing: non-idol!vernon x fem!reader [ft. changbin + minho skz, youngtaek golden child, among others]

genre: college au. angst. unrequited love (best friends growing apart).

word count: 13.5k~

warnings: angst. two idiots pining for each other and doing nothing about it. reader gets harassed at one point while at a party (off screen, only mentioned). food + alcohol mentions throughout. reader having a disrespectful roommate + mentions of sex (via reader getting repeatedly kicked out of her dorm room by a roommate w no heads up). loss of major friendship. slight health scare within reader's family. reader crying several times throughout. mentions of break-ups. abandonment via ditched plans (multiple times). growing up, growing apart. ask to add additional warnings.

daisy's notes: i've had this planned for a While now. sequel fic with a happy ending to come.

Your college years were meant to be this big step forward in life. Maybe that was why you were panicking so much the night before move-in day.

As you laid in bed, you mentally went back over everything. Your move-in time was early in the morning tomorrow, which meant you needed to get to sleep soon so that you wouldn’t be too much of a hassle for your parents to deal with come morning. Everything had always been packed away nice and neat and, aside from a few last minute things, was completely ready to go. You had checked everything twice before you and your family packed things up, and the bare walls and, well, everything of your room was enough proof for you. It wasn’t like you had the car packed slam full—but you took everything you would need. Some decorations for your side of the room, your clothing, school supplies… You weren’t the kind of person who hoarded things. Therefore everything you had was in that car. Your parents would be driving you to campus and helping you unpack, and then leaving you there to rely on public transportation within the city. Not that you minded: you liked not having to worry about gas prices. Despite the fact you knew everything was taken care of, all you could do was stare up at the faded glow-in-the-dark stars on your ceiling with this ugly pit of dread in your stomach.

Beside your head, your phone buzzed with a text, screen lighting up. Against the background of you and him smushed into the same frame (a selfie from your movie night a few weeks ago), Vernon was asking if you were still awake.

[baja blast 🚀] god you’re insufferable

[baja blast 🚀] what if i WAS asleep rn? huh?

[mr chwe 👽] you’ll live :)

[mr chwe 👽] i’m outside btw

[mr chwe 👽] also not to bribe you but i brought taco bell.

Shoving your blankets off of you, you made your way to your window to see that Vernon was, in fact, standing outside. He squinted up at your window before smiling proudly, holding up the bag triumphantly while not even risking the drinks in the cup holder he was carrying. He looked so, so stupidly proud of himself. Despite how your heart raced a little at the sight of your long-time best friend cheesing at you, you rolled your eyes and fought back a smile. You wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of making you happy this soon. Snagging your hoodie from your nearby chair, you made your way downstairs and out of the house. Soon enough, you were sitting next to your best friend, watching him carefully dish out your food.

“We’re still getting breakfast tomorrow, right?”

Completely unrelated to your friendship, which had been set in stone since middle school, Vernon just so happened to be going to the same college as you. While you had been excited over your own program, Vernon had caught sight of their film program and practically fell in love with it (although you couldn’t remember all the details he gushed to you about). Plus he guessed the added bonus of having you around did sweeten the deal a little bit. The two of you had decided to get breakfast tomorrow morning after you both moved into your dorms… Although you knew Vernon pretty well at this point. He’d already met two of his roommates. One of them was some education major named Boo Seungkwan, who Vernon had already said he’d introduce you to sometime. The other was Seo… something. You couldn’t recall his given name, but he was ‘chill enough’ according to Vernon. 

You tore open a sauce packet, giving a casual shrug. “If your roommates don’t steal you away first.”

“Hey, no, c’mon,” he lightly kicked you. “If they wanna come, then I’m fine with it if you are. I think you’re really gonna love Seungkwan. He’s super nice.”

Not more than I love you, you know, you had wanted to say. Instead, you shoved the thought back. The two of you had been friends for years at this point and you’d managed to hide your crush pretty damn well, so you didn’t need for it to start getting in the way now. And, sure, said crush had only developed two years ago (something about the sight of your best friend being ready to throw hands with your shitty ex-boyfriend was enough to endear you to him for life), but Vernon was always your best friend first. There was no way you were going to destroy your friendship with him by confessing. College would be different, you were sure of it. Somehow, you would find a way to move on and keep your bond safe.

But what if I want you to myself for another day? What then, Vernon?

You looked back up at him, licking sauce off of your fingers from where it spilled over your food and onto them. “You really haven’t met the other guy yet?” 

He looked up at you, one hand adjusting the band of his beaning. “Who, Chan? Nah. I mean, he emailed me a couple times. Seems pretty nice, though. Apparently he’s this super smart whiz kid who graduated early, so he’s younger than me and Seungkwan. Same age as Changbin, though.”

Changbin. You nodded along, committing the name to memory. Seo Changbin. Lee Chan. Boo Seungkwan. You chewed slowly, acutely aware of how perfectly Vernon knew your order by now. Same way you knew his. “Anything else?”

Vernon shook his head, only to stop dead in his tracks. “Oh, shit, wait—” He reached into his pockets, snagging his phone from it. “Apparently he’s this hot-shot dancer who’s set on joining the guys dance team. I found him on YouTube at some dance competition—he’s good.”

You’d already heard about the dance team. It wasn’t easy to get into, but that was due to the team being pretty damn legendary since several famous choreographers now came from there. Allegedly, the current dance captain of the guy’s team was remarkable strict when it came to performing every since he took over the role last year (something Hoseok—you’d never cared for the team because you couldn’t join, so you never committed the name to memory), but they were thriving nonetheless. Rumor said he was already being offered a job with some huge company to choreograph for idols. He was strict, but definitely not without reason if that were the case. Sure enough, Vernon was true to his word: this Chan guy was talented. 

“What about you?” Vernon asked after he set his phone down. “You’ve only got the one roommate. What’s she like?”

Ah, yes. The pre-med major you knew next to nothing about because she barely responded to your emails—which, truthfully, wasn’t a huge deal. She seemed pretty nice from what you could gather, but you only imagined she’d be busy since she offhandedly said she’d be spending most of her time in the library. Honestly, you didn’t mind it as much. Whereas you’d be staying in a smaller room with a single roommate and a communal bathroom, Vernon would have a suite with a shared bathroom between the two rooms. Maybe if you could trust the four guys to keep it clean (you’d seen Vernon’s room growing up—you just hoped at least one or two of the others were cleaner than him), you’d be fine with sleeping over once or twice for movie nights with Vernon. Something told you that Vernon’s friendship with Seungkwan was going to be different than whatever you had with your roommate. Apparently the two were talking way more than the few messages you’d exchanged with your own roommate. 

Not that you were jealous, of course. (Maybe you were a little of how easily they were getting along.)

“It doesn’t feel real yet, y’know?” You broke the comfortable silence that had grown between the two of you. “College, I mean.”

He nodded along, leaning against one of the posts on your front porch. “I get it,” he said after a long sip from his cup of soda. “It’s weird. Kinda still feels like we just met yesterday.”

Sixth grade science class, the first class you ever took in middle school. Your teacher had decided to randomly generate her seating chart, and the two of you had ended up at that same table. Call it chance or fate, you were glad either way. Vernon had liked spaceships you doodled on your notes, and quietly asked if you believed in aliens. You had looked at him, staring for a little too long and apparently scaring the shit out of him (he confessed that he’d been terrified you were about to chew him out), and confirmed that you definitely did… and the rest was pretty much history. Although you weren’t a hundred percent sure of your stance on aliens anymore (the universe was huge, you weren’t sure if you were entirely alone in it), the two of you had kept the emojis as a reminder of where the two of you began. A rocket by your name in Vernon’s phone with rotating remarks (baja blast was the most recent after you choked on it due to some stupid meme he’d shown you), and he’d always have some variation of his own name (Mr. Chwe after your karaoke night where you dragged him into singing “Mr. Chu” with you) with that little alien emoji right next to it.

“I’m glad you’re in this with me.” The words tumbled out of your mouth before you’d even fully processed them, and you suddenly looked up to figure out what you needed to do next. Apologize? Distract him? Kiss him, if this were a movie? Vernon just sat there, staring at you with slightly parted lips. 

Then he blinked, realizing you were watching him, and threw on that charmer smile he sometimes used when flirting with girls. “Yeah,” he said, a little distant as he started to pack up the trash from your late-night meal. “Same. We’re gonna destroy this campus, y’know?”

You’d just laughed at him, making some jab that you wouldn’t remember in a few weeks before you moved to help him clean up. He’d toss the garbage once he got home as he tucked the other crunchwrap he’d bought (for Sofia, no doubt—even for a meal with you, he was always thinking of her) into the front pocket of his hoodie. You stood on your front porch, watching him walk down to the end of your driveway before turning back. He waved at you, and all you could do was smile and wave back before heading back inside. 

True to his word, Vernon got breakfast with you that following morning after the two of you had moved into your dorms. He brought along Seungkwan (the only roommate who had moved in—Chan and Changbin would be moving into their room later), who seemed to get along with, well, anyone who spoke to him for more than a few seconds. You had listened as Vernon started talking about this record store off campus that he’d apply to work for so he’d have extra spending money (“Y’know, for dates and stuff?”), making your own mental list of the places you applied to work at both on and off campus. 

Weirdly enough, when you watched the animated way Seungkwan and Vernon spoke to one another, you felt this odd sinking feeling in your chest. But instead you decided to wash it down with a coke and rejoin the conversation, Seungkwan all too happy to include you in his music talk.

Freshman year, a few months in, and Vernon had already invited you to an off-campus party.

He’d meshed well with several of the sophomores in his general education courses, and that had been his “in” to this kind of thing. He’d told you a bit about them, and that some guy named Seokmin was the one who invited him along. When Vernon asked if he could invite you along, Seokmin seemed completely on board—the more the merrier, apparently—and said he’d pick the two of you up wherever Vernon told him to. Which, turns out, to be your dorm. The night of the party left Vernon lying on your bed as you looked through your wardrobe, your roommate out for the night, studying yet again. You were just trying to find something nice to wear.

You let out a sigh. “I don’t know about this, dude,” you said, pushing aside your shirts to find a decent one for a party. Whereas Vernon stood on that line between introvert and extrovert, you were a little more introverted and it seemed to show in your wardrobe in that stereotypical way. You preferred comfier clothing to the traditional “party” attire other people sometimes wore whenever they felt like (no shade to them to be fair: they rocked the look). Unfortunately for you, it left you a little out of luck for parties. One of your new friends, Minho, had even pegged you as being more of a bookish introvert from your wardrobe alone. At least it meant you were comfortable in class. “You said this party is gonna be huge.” 

“And I’ll be right there with you the entire time,” he said. “C’mon. How many parties have you gone to already?���

There was this soft, pale blue sweater sitting in front of you that Vernon had bought for your birthday last year. It wasn’t expensive or anything, but… did you want to risk it at a college party? Sure, you could get any stains out if you needed to, even if you had to stay up all night to do it. You sighed. “Zero.”

“And how many have I invited you to?”

“I dunno. Four? Most of the time you run off with your buddies and forget all about me.”

“I don’t forget,” he said, frowning. “I only invite you when I know you aren’t busy. You’re the one who signed up for an extra class during the first week—I don’t wanna bother you when I know you’re studying.”

Of course Vernon was thinking of you. Despite his thoughtfulness, you pouted as you looked over your shoulder at him. “Close your eyes so I can change or I’m gonna change my mind about going.”

Wordlessly, he turned over onto his side, and the mattress groaned underneath him as he did. He settled, and didn’t move any further, giving you the chance to strip your shirt off and drop it into the bottom of your closet, staring at your shirts again. Shit, which one…?

“It’s nothing I haven’t seen before,” he said, quiet enough that you weren’t sure whether you were supposed to hear him or not.

Maybe he had a slight point there. The two of you were close. You had changed in front of him plenty of times before without thinking about it—hell, you didn’t even care when the two of you were in your early teens. You’d go to the pool with him and strip off your cover-up before an adult scolded you for it, saying something about how it wasn’t “proper” for girls to do that kind of thing around boys. Why did Vernon get to pull his shirt off, but you had to go to a changing room? You’d always despised it, but maybe it was for the best now. If people saw you and Vernon like this, they’d ask you what the two of you were. If he was your boyfriend or not. You weren’t exactly ready to confront those feelings and feel the bitter sting of rejection quite yet. Plucking a band t-shirt from a hangar, you stared down at it before looking at Vernon… and then you tossed it at him, pulling on that baby blue sweater instead and deciding to change into a nice pair of jeans quickly. People might give you looks, but you were genuinely the kind of person who got cold easily. You didn’t need to give Vernon an excuse to push his jacket onto you, too, always insisting that you stay warm. 

His phone dinged a moment later. “Oh, shit,” he sat up, “Hao’s outside.”

You looked up from where you were stepping into a pair of black jeans. “Hao?”

“Hao’s one of the guys—” Vernon turned around without thinking, only to immediately whip back around to give you privacy. “There’s Minghao, the philosophy major. Super smart dude. Seokmin’s the theater guy who invited us to this, aaand Mingyu, who’s still stuck between a couple things but he said he’d make up his mind before the end of the semester.”

“Is anyone I know going to be there?”

“Seungkwan’s coming,” Vernon said. “Chan’s busy with a paper. You’ll be stuck in the back with me, though.”

“Gross,” you stuck your tongue out. “You sure I can’t talk Seungkwan into switching?”

He rolled his eyes, throwing your shirt back at you as he hid his smile. “You know you love me.”

You flopped onto the space next to Vernon so that you could pull on one of your boots, and he looked at you with a smile. “So you always say.”

After lacing up your boots, the two of you made your way down to the van that was awaiting the two of you. Introductions happened after you were both squared away in the back. You did notice that Seungkwan gave Mingyu a look when he asked if the two of you were really just friends. Had he been able to do it more secretly, maybe Seungkwan would have kicked him for it. But you were more focused on learning a little more about Vernon’s friends. Minghao was a dancer on that prestigious dance team alongside Chan and a few other guys that Vernon knew, and he’d met Vernon through his philosophy class (he’d once been a literature major, only to switch at the end of freshman year). Seokmin had met him in the dining hall one day, inviting him over when he was about to eat alone since you were in a lecture, and the two seemed to hit it off pretty well—which led to Vernon meeting Mingyu. Seungkwan had already known Mingyu from a class the two had shared, and he’d known Seokmin through the school choir. It made you feel a little self conscious that the only person who really knew you here was Vernon (as you only knew Seungkwan through him). But Vernon’s shoulder had bumped into your own, and it reassured you. Making friends would be easier if you just talked to them a little more. That was why you were coming with him: to meet people.

Unfortunately for you, the party was pretty fucking packed. Vernon had swore on the ride over that if he wasn’t with you, then one of his friends would be watching your back. He knew how shitty people could be to girls at parties, and he seemed intent on staying close to keep you safe. With a hand at the middle of your back, he’d introduced you to a few people he already knew. From across the crowded room, he could hear someone yelling his name (some dude named Seungcheol who he knew from work), and Vernon had excused himself from you to go say hi. Vernon would introduce him to you some other time when Seungcheol was… well, sober. He’d carried off his red solo cup of beer and felt Seungcheol throw an arm around his shoulder the moment he was close enough to, already introducing himself to a couple other seniors—Jeonghan and Joshua. 

Time slipped through his fingers like the beer in his cup, though, and it took several drinks for Vernon to realize… He couldn’t see you anywhere. Fuck. He’d gotten carried away with talking to Joshua (who had been abstaining from drinking that night—he was there to watch Jeonghan and Seungcheol) about the States that at some point, he stopped glancing back to check on you. Seungcheol had already teased him one too many times about “that girl he obviously likes” while giving some tips on how to hook up with you (out of the question: Vernon liked you too much and knew you too well to try and treat you so casually) that he’d stopped looking so often. Somewhere along the way, you’d just disappeared at some point. He excused himself from the conversation, glancing at his phone to realize just how long he’d been talking to them. He avoided the occupied bedrooms, knocking on bathrooms and calling your name, pushing through people-heavy rooms in an attempt to see that baby blue sweater.

“Oh, her?” Seokmin had said when Vernon finally found him and Minghao in the kitchen. “She left. I told you maybe half an hour ago.”

Vernon furrowed his brow. He hadn’t even seen Seokmin… hadn’t he? “What?”

Seokmin glanced around, and guided a little further into the kitchen to get away from the loud music, right next to where an open window was.. The cool night air hit his warmed skin, and Seokmin’s gaze could have sobered him up alone. “She told me she was going to get an Uber and went home,” he repeated. “Weren’t you listening?”

Vernon scrambled for his phone again. “Yeah,” he lied, “totally. Just wanted to make sure you remembered…”

[ mr headphones 👽] did you get back safe?

Seokmin glanced from Vernon’s face to the illuminated screen, not bothering to try and read it. “Right,” he said. “I’m going back inside. She’s probably fine. Mingyu’s been outside—You can ask him if he saw her leave.” 

Vernon barely responded, and Seokmin merely merged back into the conversation with Minghao. He dumped his drink into the sink, and made his way outside instead. Fuck, you’d left early? And you didn’t even tell him anything? If you weren’t having fun, he would have ditched this place to be with you. Wherever you wanted to go, he’d follow. What was the point of bringing you out if you were miserable the entire time? He stared down at his phone, tapping his foot as he waited for something—even the response bubble with those three little dots—to pop up in your texts. He should call you. But his head was still fuzzy from the alcohol in his system. He scratched the back of his neck, moving further away from the doors. Maybe he shouldn’t have drank tonight to begin with. Not when you were with him. He kicked himself for even inviting you out. Parties weren’t your thing—not big ones like this, anyway. You were fine in situations where you knew people, he’d just thrown you to the sharks and then entirely fucked off because Seungcheol called him over.

Maybe he should have just set up a movie night for the two of you like he wanted to. And… if Seungkwan or Chan had wanted to join, they could have. It could be like old times again.

[🚀] 👍

He breathed a sigh of relief as soon as the message popped up. You were fine. Most likely, you’d made it back to campus and gone up to your room, and then taken a shower. Vernon leaned back against the wall, letting his head fall back against the brick as he shut his eyes. There were other parties he could have taken you to, other parties with less people than this one. This place was too cramped, too crowded, and you were probably getting overheated in that stupid cute sweater you loved wearing so much. You were too pretty in it for him to say otherwise, though, even though he felt like it was a bad idea when drunk idiots could spill their shitty beer all over it. 

Minghao had finally found him again outside while he was rounding up the people he was responsible for. How long had he stood outside, bobbing his head to the blasting music he could still hear—albeit muffled—from where he stood? He kept staring down at his phone screen and that singular emoji from you, this nagging feeling in the back of his head. He wasn’t sure how long, but it’d been long enough for Minghao to drag him back to the car where the others were. Seungkwan was silently toying with the paper wrapper of the water bottle someone (Minghao, he’d find out barely a minute later: he carried them with him for the drunk idiots he had to get home) had pressed into his hands. Seokmin was still giggling about something, apparently having drank more since Vernon last saw him. Mingyu kept whispering things to Seokmin that’d send him into further giggles. In the back of that van, Vernon suddenly felt your absence way more. On the drive over, he’d been showing you stupid memes and cat videos he’d been compiling in a playlist for you. He’d heard your laugh, and felt the weight and warmth of your body as it pressed against his. Now all he could smell was the reek of alcohol and Seokmin’s laugh, alongside the feeling of Seungkwan staring at him every so often, lips pressed tight together.

It wasn’t until long after they were back at the dorm that Seungkwan finally spoke up. He’d been standing next to him in the bathroom, cleaning his face while Vernon was brushing his teeth. “Is she okay?”

Vernon looked up with a muffled “hmpfh?” in response. He’d sobered up more since Minghao brought him back, walking the two up to the entrance of their building and making them promise to drink more water once they got to their room. One movie later, and Vernon’s head finally felt a little clearer than it did before.

“Your friend.” Seungkwan paused, and then said your name after a moment. “Someone kept harassing her at the party. He only left her alone once I stepped in, but she left after that happened.” 

Vernon spat hard into the sink, wiping his mouth with his sleeve and whipping around to face Seungkwan. “What?”

“Ew.” Seungkwan wrinkled his nose as he glanced at Vernon’s sleeve, but let whatever he wanted to say next. He turned back to himself in the mirror, “Minghao offered to drive her home, but she turned it down in case one of us needed him. She said she’d get an Uber, and he went outside to wait until he saw her get in. I think he said he got her number and told her to text him as soon as she was home safely.” 

… Why hadn’t you said any of that to him? Fuck, why didn’t you find him when that guy was messing with you? He would have outright told him to go fuck himself and to leave you alone. He looked at the time on his phone again and scowled: it was far too late to call you. If Seungkwan had mentioned it earlier… No. It wasn’t Seungkwan’s fault. Vernon would just text you in the morning and get breakfast with you as an apology for not being there for you when you needed him (and talk to you about what happened, if you were willing).

Sure enough, you’d agreed, and the two of you agreed to meet at this quaint little place off campus. He sat across from you, watching as you tore the paper off of your straw with this content smile. You pushed it into your cup of orange juice and looked up at him with his gleeful look in your eyes, always happy to start a morning like this. Any other time, he’d find it cute and your love of the drink endearing. But now…

“Hey…” He said. “Why didn’t you find me last night?”

“Hm?” You looked up at him, lips wrapped around your straw as you took a long sip. A moment later, you set the cup back down. “I didn’t want to bother you. Did you have fun? You guys looked like you were.”

“That’s not important,” he said. “Seungkwan told me some guy kept harassing you.”

Your smile fell, and you sank back into the cushioned seat. “You… You looked really into the conversation you were having with that guy. I didn’t want to interrupt.” 

He sighed, “That doesn’t matter—” Vernon’s eyes met yours, and he frowned at you. “You’re my best friend. If some asshole is bothering you, you should tell me. We’re supposed to have each other’s backs.”

“I was fine, Vernon,” you said. “I wasn’t having fun, so that’s why I left. You fit into parties like that way better than I do. I don’t even know why you bothered inviting me.”

I asked you to come because I wanted you there, Vernon wanted to say. Deep down, he hoped to maybe show you off a little. To have someone maybe try and ask outright if you were his girlfriend (someone that wasn’t Mingyu, who he could chalk it up as Mingyu teasing him), and maybe use that to break into that conversation. The “are we just friends?” conversation he’d been wanting to have with you, yet kept shying away from because what if he misread all of it? The two of you were close. It’d taken him forever to figure out his feelings for you, and he was sure you felt… something to him. You hadn’t seen anyone else since classes started, at least. And he hadn’t seen anyone either. Maybe…

Maybe he was waiting for you to take that first step. Whether it was you telling him that he wasn’t being stupid and that you liked him back, or you straight up kissing him… He needed that sign in neon lights. He wasn’t going to gamble and fuck this up. 

“Still…” His foot nudged yours underneath the table. “I care about you a lot, y’know? If you aren’t having fun, then we’ll go do something else.” He paused, and extended his pinkie out to you. “We’re a pair.”

There was that pretty smile he loved so much. You rolled your eyes a second later, locking your pinkie around his own. “Yeah,” you said. “We’re a pair… But you’re still paying for our pancakes.”

(Fuck, he loved you too much.)

Vernon stopped inviting you to parties. 

It took you a little longer than it should have to realize it, considering it had been a few months since then. He’d go out, post pictures and status updates on his social media of and about him and his friends and whatever they were up to. That didn’t mean he stopped inviting you places altogether: he just started making different plans for you. Smaller get-togethers with his (and your) friends, things that were more comfortable for you. Seungkwan always treated you kindly whenever you came around, happy to keep you involved in the conversation whenever he noticed it was veering a little too off to one side. Sometimes Chan would join in, and Changbin—the other roommate, who you actually ended up befriending pretty easily—did, too. Sometimes you’d invite Minho along, too. Your little group would either go out on the weekends, finding something fun to do within the city. Other times, you would all curl up in their suite and watch movies together (or play games—Chan had a Switch and the extra controllers so that you could all play alongside him). You’d never forget waking up next to Vernon during finals week. The two of you had been studying for the psychology class that you shared. For a moment, you wondered if this was what your life could look like if you just told him. But you’d seen how feelings could ruin a friendship: two of your friends in high school had broken apart because one confessed their unreciprocated feelings. They’d never been the same. You wouldn’t let that be you and Vernon.

So you shoved your feelings aside again and again. Even now, as you were waiting alone in a fast food place for Vernon. He was standing toward the front, waiting for your order. This was supposed to be some kind of study session, actually: the two of you had a biology lab that you needed to work on that was due a few days from now. It was Vernon’s idea to do it over lunch. Unlike last semester, the two of you shared way more gen ed classes—save for your English one, although he was just in the other section for it.

Despite your confidence in your friendship with Vernon… You couldn’t help but wonder if maybe he pitied you a little more than he did before. You’d been fine with making friends in high school, but college? Aside from Vernon, you had to build things back up entirely. You had Lee Minho—he’d been in one of your gen ed classes last semester, and he was in your English class now—but that was the only real friend you’d made on your own. Then again, you kind-of talked to the guy in your Japanese class, Youngtaek. He’d confided with you during your first class that he could speak Japanese just fine, but the school wouldn’t let him test out of it, so he’d just take it as a boost to his GPA. He didn’t make fun of your confused pronunciations, either, always kindly correcting you before he slid you his number in case you needed his help. But… That was the extent of it. Sure, you knew Minho’s cats’ names, and you kind-of knew about Youngtaek’s other friends… That was it, though. You were still lost, trying to find your footing in this difficult time in life. Most of freshman year had slipped past you before you’d known it, and now you were just there. Still lost in who you were and what you really wanted in life. And now you knew that Vernon would cancel his plans with other people just to hang around you.

When did this all feel so complicated?

The sound of the tray hitting the table pulled you out of your thoughts, and Vernon slid into the other side of the booth. He started to dish out your respective meals, talking about the biology report that you’d honestly stopped caring about as he did so. Sitting next to the window meant you could see how pretty his eyes were when the sunlight hit them. You’d always thought Vernon had beautiful eyes, regardless of where the two of you were… But the way they looked when the sunlight hit them? That was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen in your life. How did you manage to get a best friend who was not only handsome, but funny and sweet and—

“You good?”

Shit. You nodded. “Just thinking.”

He smiled a little, setting your drink in front of you before he put the tray aside. “Don’t worry about it. It’s just one lab report. We’ve got this.” 

Sometimes, you truly admired how confident he could be in your abilities… and the way he accidentally just gave you an out. “I guess I’m just thinking about the next lab,” you shrugged. “Dissection is…”

“Oh. Dude. We could totally ditch.”

You furrowed your brow as you looked up from where you were unwrapping your meal. “You sure? We only get one free pass in this class. Most people save it for the last lab.” 

“I mean… I don’t want to dissect shit. You don’t want to dissect shit. We’re only taking this course for the gen ed,” he shrugged. “I dunno. Maybe we could ditch and go see a movie or something.”

It reminded you of your senior year of high school together. The two of you ended up taking off in the middle of the day after Vernon found you upset, and you’d gone to an arcade instead. There was a polar bear plushie on your bed that you’d always kept from that day. And now he was willing to skip one of your biology labs for you. 

The two of you ended up braving the lab anyway. Even though neither of you were completely fine with dissecting, well, anything, the two of you managed to get through it pretty fine. Other people would have to deal with worse in the future, you were sure, but for two non-biology majors, just getting through it was fine. The two of you ended up going off to the movies afterward anyway as a tiny reward for not being cowards. In the back row of an empty theater, you rested your head on Vernon’s shoulder. A moment later, you felt his lean against yours.

At least you knew Vernon loved you in some way.

Sophomore year marked a slight change in everything. Life began to get in the way for you and Vernon. Whenever he was free, you often weren’t, and you always seemed to be free when he wasn’t. Sure, you could maybe stop by the record shop to talk to him for a few minutes whenever you wanted to see him, but it wasn’t the same as having a movie night at his and Seungkwan’s dorms (which they’d returned to again this year—although it was more communal rather than a suite). And you… You didn’t want Vernon coming to your dorms. 

The reason why? The same reason you were crying in the break room on your floor. The same fucking reason you were locked out of your dorm room for the third time in one week over the past few months. Your roommate was nice enough… when she was alone. Yet you’d heard her moaning when you came back up to get your textbooks, because you had a test coming up on Friday, and it was a major one. As nice as your roommate was, she never listened to you when you tried to set some kind of boundary like “can you give me a heads up before you start fucking your boyfriend in our dorm room?” considering she did this often. All you needed was a heads up so that you could get your shit and go somewhere else. It felt like you were never entirely alone in the dorm room for long: she or her boyfriend were always around. It wasn’t even as though she were studying in the room. They’d always fuck there, and your roommate never gave you any proper warning first despite the fact you’d always make it clear when something major was coming up and you needed to have some access to your study materials. 

Like you said: if she wanted to fuck her boyfriend, fine, but at least let you get your shit first. It wasn’t as if you had anywhere else to keep your books.

You tried to call Vernon for some kind of reassurance. Either he’d calm you down, or he’d bitch about your roommate’s rude behavior with you. He didn’t pick up, though, only texting back that he was busy at the moment. You buried your face in your hands, trying not to sob again. Even if you had your books, the library was always packed around this time. Where else could you study that was nice and quiet? Fuck, you knew your roommate, too: there was no way you’d be getting back in within the next few hours.

So you ended up texting Changbin, who’d grown closer with you over the break. He told you to just come on over to his apartment without any hesitation. You pulled yourself together, stopping in the bathrooms long enough to look yourself over and calm down before you left. Changbin’s apartment was just off campus, and you’d been enough times that you knew the way by heart. It was only a short bus ride and a walk, but it gave you plenty of time to calm down even further (even if you did end up crying again while waiting on the bus). By the time you came up, you’d seen where Changbin was making the couch up for himself. Youngtaek had been standing in the kitchen, making fried rice for himself when you came in. He’d greeted you warmly enough, yet noticed the fact that you only carried your school bag with you. What other clothing would you have? You’d all but collapsed onto the couch, and all it took was Changbin opening his arms to you for you to move into them.

Thank fuck for Changbin’s extensive workouts. Those big buff arms could crush you like a grape, but they meant Changbin was great for hugs. Involuntarily, you let out a groan into his shoulder, and felt the way they shook with a tiny chuckle.

“It’s okay,” he said, amusement lighting up his voice. “Just get it out.”

You squeezed him tight instead, face buried into his shoulder. Changbin might be one of the most huggable men you’d ever met, if you were honest. The other side of the couch dipped as Youngtaek sat down, bowl in his hands.

“Is it really that bad?”

You pulled away from Changbin’s arms to give Youngtaek a look that could kill. He didn’t seem to flinch, continuing to eat his food without much care. “I couldn’t care less if she has sex in our room,” you said. “I just care that she keeps having sex in our room in the middle of fucking week. She doesn’t even go to class some days! And I’ve straight up heard them fucking on the bed behind me when I’m trying to sleep. I called her out and she kept acting like I’m the stupid one for thinking that, and that I’m the pervert even though I woke up one night to hear her giggling about not waking me up. I told her I don’t care if she does it on the weekend or gives me a heads up so I can get my things and leave, but she never does! I always come back and the door’s locked and her boyfriend’s always moaning—”

Changbin just wordlessly pushed Gyu, his Munchlax plush, into your arms. You hugged him tight, and Changbin leaned forward to get a better look at your face. He slowly said your name, making you look back up. “Why don’t you move in with us?”

“Don’t you have another roommate?”

“He’s moving out in a few days,” Youngtaek said. “Something happened with his family. He said things are under control now, but he’s still going to transfer after this semester to somewhere closer to home. It’s not ideal circumstances, but for you… You’d be getting your own room.” He nodded toward the unlabeled door. “It’s small, like our rooms, but it’d be yours. You wouldn’t have to live on campus anymore, or share a room.” 

… Honestly, that didn’t sound bad at all. You hugged Gyu closer to your chest, thinking over it. “I’d have to talk to student housing, and return my key, and find someone who can help me move if I don’t just hire someone—”

“Wooyoung knows someone,” Changbins said. “I’ll ask him to talk to Yunho.”

Something about how quick both of them were to help you made your breath hitch, your heart swelling within your chest. All of a sudden, the frustration seemed to slip away, and you had begun to tear up. The stress had been building for weeks now of dealing with a roommate that never respected you—hell, it wouldn’t surprise you if she was just acting nice to your face. It made you miss your freshman roommate. At least she was nice to you and gave you a heads up when she was bringing friends over, since you always extended the same courtesy to her. The one time you tried to tell your current roommate that the room was yours too, she called you a prude for trying to stop her from having fun.

Hours later, Vernon called you while you were watching a movie with Youngtaek and Changbin. It wasn’t the studying you needed to be doing, but it was a nice alternative since you couldn’t. You’d stepped into Changbin’s room to answer, listening as Vernon mentioned that Seungkwan had seen you crying earlier at the bus stop. Your grip tightened a little around your phone. Shit, so Vernon knew that something was wrong, and you couldn’t dodge the subject easily.

“Roommate kicked me out again—”

“Again?!” He groaned. “Dude—You really need to talk to her. Get the RA involved.” 

“It’s fine,” you said. “I’ve already made plans.”

A pause on his end. “You wanna come over? I just got back from work, but I can maybe find a movie for us to watch—”

“It’s okay.” You leaned against the wall. “I’m at Changbin’s. He’s letting me take his room for the night.” For a moment, you hesitated. “... I think I’m going to move out of the dorms as soon as I can.”

“Wait, for real?”

Despite him being unable to see you, you nodded. “I already emailed student housing about it, so they’ll have to get back to me. I think I’m gonna at least pack a bag and bring some of my stuff over here in case I need an out. Binnie’s already texted one of his friends about helping me move out, since I think he knows someone with a big enough car for all of my stuff…” You let out a sigh. “I don’t think I’ll get my money back for this semester, but they should give me something for next semester since I won’t be living there.”

Vernon was quiet for a while. “You want some help?”

“Maybe,” you said. “I dunno how big the guy’s car is. I’ll keep you updated, alright?”

“You better.” He paused. “Is that all?”

You raised a brow. “Yeah?”

“That’s—I just wanted to know if anything else was wrong. That’s all.” 

“I’m fine, Vernon,” you said. “Thanks for calling. I’ll see you later, alright?”

It was an empty promise, you were sure. But you let him answer back with that casual, “Yeah, for sure,” before ending the call, as though it were something to hold each other to.

The next day, you confronted your roommate. No more sex until you had moved out. If she wanted to fuck her boyfriend while you were getting everything in order, then she could take it to his place. She’d been quiet for the longest time when you broke the news to her, and then apologized to you. It was… weird to see, to be honest. She said something about trying to change if it meant you wouldn’t move out, and that had raised one of the reddest flags you’d ever seen. At first, you couldn’t wrap your head around why she’d drop everything so quickly. The last time, she’d been quick to insult you for asking to have access to your own room, and this time…

Oh. She was hoping you’d break and change your mind. Well, fuck that. You’d pulled out one of your boxes and bought a roll of tape, and started getting your shit in order. Moving would suck, sure, but at least you wouldn’t be stuck in this dorm anymore. A new roommate might tell her outright to fuck off and learn how to share a room with another person instead of treating it like its her room alone. Maybe if you were a little bolder, you would have done it yourself. She was allowed to have sex if she wanted it: but it wasn’t her room alone, and it never had been. 

Within the next week, you were introduced to Wooyoung, who introduced you to Yunho in turn. Changbin hadn’t given either of them the full story past “my friend needs help moving out of her dorm because her roommate doesn’t respect her, can you help?” but that was fine with you. Changbin had been right there with you that day, too, to provide extra muscle in carrying your things. His other roommate had moved out over the weekend, which meant the room was ready for you. Although you tried to say that you didn’t need so many guys helping you move out, Changbin insisted further. That was what a good roommate did, after all: they were considerate.

(And, yes, he did say that while your roommate was curled up on her bed, watching your boxes slowly shrink in number.)

Youngtaek had been the one to suggest drafting up a roommate contract for the three of you once you got settled in. With your dorm room key turned in, and you receiving the key that Changbin and Youngtaek’s former roommate had, things felt a little more finalized. The two had a little housewarming celebration for you the night you moved in, and left you to start unpacking after you’d finished dinner with them. 

This was nice. Things were nice again.

You ended up inviting Vernon over after giving your new housemates the proper heads up, and that, too, was nice. Vernon had barely taken a look at you before he realized just how much happier you seemed to be. Between work and classes and… well, life itself, you guessed, things had finally started to feel a little more normal. Just as soon as he arrived, Seokmin was texting him about some other party that was happening tonight. You just hugged him tight and thanked him for stopping by. It was good to see his face, even for a few minutes.

It took several weeks of ditching you and canceling plans for Vernon to tell you what was going on.

“Well… There’s this girl…”

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck—How were you supposed to respond to that? You reached for your drink, taking a quick sip to hopefully buy you a little more time to think as he kept explaining. There was a really nice girl in one of his film classes, Ji-woo, and they’d been talking a lot lately. Whenever he couldn’t drag you along to a movie he needed to see for class, she invited him into her own little group… and then alone, after the first few times. From the look on his face alone, you were sure that he was crushing. There was this subtle smile that Vernon always had when he talked about people. The lovestruck look in his eyes, so fond of whoever he was talking about. 

“So you’re crushing pretty hard, huh?” was what you settled on after a while, cutting him off mid-conversation. Maybe it was selfish, but hearing him talk so highly about another person made your stomach churn.

He stared at you for a moment, and then kind of shifted into that cheesy, I-might-be-in-love smile, gaze averting from you. “Maybe. I dunno. I’m still getting to know her, and I don’t wanna do anything until I know I like her… I just…”

“Are you asking for my blessing, you dork?”

He snorted, picking up his drink. “I mean—What would you do?” 

Die, maybe, the dramatic part of your brain yelled. Don’t date her. I love you. Please let me prove it. 

“You already know the answer to that,” you said. “You’re my best friend. Of course I’d support you.” 

Vernon stopped chewing at the end of his straw, staring at you for what felt like far too long. “... Right,” he said. “Yeah, of course—What was I thinking?”

(That he’d know. That he’d take one look at you and finally know if you loved him back. Instead you’re looking at him like you always do.)

“Well… Hey. Good luck,” you nudged him with your foot. “Anyone would be lucky to have you, you know. If you want, I can give you a discount at the flower shop.” You rested your head in your hand, “I’ll just use my employee discount. Fuck the rules.” 

He laughed a little at that. “God, I love you.” 

And you loved him, too. He was your best friend, even if the word stopped fitting so well.

Barely a few weeks later, after the start of junior year, Vernon asked Ji-woo out. All you could say after a minute or two of bone-crushing silence was the weakest congratulations you’d ever given him.

(Youngtaek had been the one who held you as you refused to cry that night. He just wordlessly put his arms around you, squeezing you tight while you fought everything inside of you.)

And now, a little over a month, you were feeling the absence of Vernon in your life. It felt naive to think that it was fine at first, and that heartbreak you felt would be the end of feeling like shit. The ugly parts of grief and pain and disappointment in yourself were supposed to be over, right? Except now, you kept getting ditched for dates with Ji-woo. You knew that Vernon would focus on his relationship with her, and you told him that’d be fine. He liked her (at least, he said he thought he did—he was still figuring it out), at least enough to ask her out officially. No flowers, no fancy anything, he just asked her to be his girlfriend after that last date before he immediately told you the next day. You were his best friend, your relationship was set in stone: he was fully allowed to focus on the one that wasn’t.

Except, as you said, for the fact he kept fucking ditching you and it was starting to really hurt. At first, it had been movie nights at the theater where he promised to buy you popcorn to make up for the times before (Ji-woo had wanted to go to the arcade, and Vernon jumped at the opportunity). You had been left standing outside for almost half an hour before he finally remembered you existed. He’d called you that day, apologizing over and over before you asked if it was Ji-woo. When he said it was, you played the best friend as perfectly as you hoped you could and said you understood. Lots of people put their love life over their friendships in the beginning. That was what endless internet research told you at least. There were plenty of threads that said it would work itself out in time, that it was okay for you to take the back burner and just remind your friend you were still there before you’d boiled away to nothing. A healthy relationship involved both time with friends and time with your partner, not just one or the other. 

Yet it kept happening. Movie nights with Vernon would get dropped within seconds because Ji-woo wanted to go out. You were left waiting in a coffee shop more than once with Vernon’s iced coffee melting across from you. The museum trip he’d promised you because it was this anime-themed exhibit (for an anime you two watched together in middle school) fell through and you ditched the idea of going on your own because it was less special that way. He only ever texted you at the last minute or hours later with another apology. It felt like all he ever did was apologize to you nowadays, and it was reaching a frustrating point. You swore you saw his friends more than you ever saw him. The last time you saw Vernon, he was with his girlfriend on campus, walking to class. You saw the way he looked at her (he used to look at you like that, you thought to yourself, whenever he actually looked at you), and you felt a pit of jealousy underneath this draining sense of grief. Seungkwan was still nice to you, though, and Chan would sometimes say hi. Seokmin even greeted you warmly whenever he saw you, happy to catch up since you rarely saw him (and it almost felt like he was your friend despite that). But Vernon…

You simply couldn’t care less. You had studies you needed to focus on instead. Sometimes you would leave Seungkwan’s contact open on your phone, always wanting to ask if Vernon had blown him (or anyone else) off for Ji-woo. There was a way to check. One simple text to send. But you didn’t: you didn’t want to know the answer. Not yet.

Vernon asked you if you wanted to go on a double date with him and Ji-woo. When you asked who you would be seeing, he simply said it’d be Seungkwan. So you stupidly said yes (probably giving Vernon the wrong idea), and the next day you were sitting next to Seungkwan in a diner booth and exchanging looks as he talked endlessly to his girlfriend rather than anyone else at the table. Is this what double dates were supposed to be? One couple talking the entire time? You didn’t think so. You and Seungkwan just looked at each other way too many times in disbelief. This fucking sucked.

Ji-woo excused herself to go to the bathroom, and you debated following her just to avoid whatever Vernon was about to ask next. It was the first time you were meeting her, after all. Ji-woo was nice. Bubbly, and sweet, and pretty, and you… really couldn’t hate her, if you were honest. When Vernon asked you if you wanted to come on this double date, you were expecting to find something to hate about her. Something you could justify being upset with him picking her over and over instead of spending even ten minutes with you. You’d never been like this when you had a boyfriend. Sure, your ex-boyfriend was shitty, but you still made time for both him and your friends. But between how pretty and sweet she was and the stupid loving look in Vernon’s eyes, all you felt was more guilt for being so mad at him. 

“So… What do you guys think?” He asked quietly. “She’s great, right?”

Seungkwan had nodded along. “... I think she’s nice.” 

… Was that reluctance? Before you could answer, your phone started ringing. You tapped Seungkwan’s arm, and he let you out of the booth so you could step outside to answer Changbin.

“Are you out? Minho said he saw you on a double date or something.” 

Immediately, you started looking around for Minho. When the fuck did he see you? “Yeah,” you said after a moment, still trying to see if Minho was within view. You’d (jokingly) go kick his ass for saying something to Changbin. “Vernon wanted us to meet Ji-woo, I guess.”

The pause Changbin took before speaking again told you everything you needed to know. You probably shouldn’t have said that. “Are you okay?”

Changbin and Youngtaek, as your housemates, were the unfortunate witnesses to your disappointed returns to the apartment. Every time Vernon blew you off for his girlfriend, one (or both) of them would see you come home and already know what happened. It’d been Changbin, though, who dragged you out of the apartment after one of those instances. Fuck Vernon, he had said, we’re going out and getting ramen tonight. It was the best fucking ramen you’d had in weeks, but you were starting to think that it was moreso the company than the noodles themselves. 

With a sigh, you sat down on the bench outside. “I’m fine, Binnie.”

“I can lie about breaking the coffee maker again,” he said immediately. 

“You don’t have to—Wait. Again?” 

“Just say the word and I’ll do it,” he quickly said. “Love you!”

With a sigh, you shoved your phone back into your pocket after he hung up on you. You’d confront him and Youngtaek about the coffee maker another time. The bell of the diner door rang behind you, and you almost stood up to use it as your own timer to go back inside and tell your friends that everything was fine—Changbin just wanted to know if you were gonna be home to eat dinner with him and Youngtaek. Except when you turned, Seungkwan was standing there. 

“I’m going to sing karaoke instead. Do you want to come with me?” 

You looked back toward the window. “What about Vernon—”

“He went to the bathroom after Ji-woo came back. I told her you seemed upset so I was going to walk you home.” Seungkwan crossed his arms. “Are you coming with me or not? I’m still mad that Vernon ditched our coffee date last week.”

You furrowed your brow. “He—”

“It was only the one time, but I’m still holding a grudge,” he said, sighing. “He should have texted. I wasted money on him since he said he’d be there.”

Well. That answered one of your questions. You said yes anyway, and Seungkwan immediately smiled, taking your hand and happily guiding you away. By the end of the night, your throat was raw and aching from screaming lyrics alongside Seungkwan, but it was comforting to know you weren’t alone. When he wasn’t entertaining you by yelling alongside you, his voice was genuinely beautiful to listen to. The two of you ended up getting street food together to replace the meal you didn’t have with Vernon and Ji-woo, and Seungkwan seemed a little happy to finally bitch about a couple things. While Vernon only blew him off the one time, it was enough to piss Seungkwan off because no one treated him like that. He’d chewed him out when he came back, saying that real friends called instead of leaving their friend to throw away a melted iced coffee. He later walked you to your bus stop, telling you goodnight as he squeezed your hands. The two of you should talk more (for non-bitching reasons, too). You watched him continue on toward the apartment he now shared with Vernon and Chan, and felt a little better about all of this.

At least you weren’t entirely alone.

A few months later, your grandpa got sick. Despite the insistence that he would be fine, you were terrified. Everything around you seemed to spiral into disaster. Between late assignments and a failed test, it felt like you were going to just… break. Your family told you to finish out your semester and come see him during break, that this wasn’t serious and he’d lived through worse. All you could think about was the fact that the one person you could talk to about this just… wasn’t there for you. He was on a date with Ji-woo. You tried calling him, and he denied it on the second ring. He texted you back to ask if it was important, since he was on that date.

You told him it wasn’t and to have fun on his date. Changbin was busy, and so was Youngtaek, which meant you would turn to the only other person you often hung out with nowadays. Minho answered your text within seconds when you asked if you could come over, and then followed up that ‘yes’ with asking whether it was serious.

[ 🦀 ] it is. family stuff.

[ 🦀 ] is that okay?

[ 🐈 ] just wanted to be ready

[ 🐈 ] see you soon

You shoved your things into your hoodie pocket and made your way to Minho’s apartment. His roommate was out when you got there, and Minho made a comment about how Chris wouldn’t be back until later that night anyway—so it was just the two of you for a while. By the time you’d sat down with him, you were already breaking down crying. He listened as you cried, pushing a box of tissues your way (Minho came prepared for this) as soon as you needed it. 

“You should trust your family on this,” he told you. “If they thought you needed to come home, they would be honest with you. If things suddenly changed and it looked like you might lose him, then they would tell you. Right?”

“Right, but…” Your grandpa wasn’t the only person you felt like you were losing now.

When was the last time you and Vernon hung out, not including the double date you and Seungkwan ditched? Before the semester started? Even then, he’d been ditching you to hang out with Ji-woo. Even now, you wished you could hate her. Or him. He was the one who was ditching you, not Ji-woo. Or maybe even both of them, when you thought about it now. Seungkwan had been the one who lied to her face and told her that you were upset about something, and you never heard a word from Vernon that night. What could Ji-woo have told him…? Fuck being mad at any of them at this point: that was energy you didn’t want to expend. 

If this was how it ended, then so fucking be it. 

Except it wasn’t. That wasn’t how it would end, because Vernon broke up with Ji-woo five months later, long after you went home and saw your grandpa in better health. He posted something on his private Twitter about it, so you decided to text him.

[🚀] hey, i just saw your priv

[🚀] i’m so sorry things didn’t work out for you two. are you alright?

[vernon 👽] yeah just

[vernon 👽] idk it’s a lot to process

[vernon 👽] i don’t think i’ve figured it all out yet

[🚀] you wanna talk about it? i’m here if you need me.

[vernon 👽] idk she just kept blowing me off for stuff

[vernon 👽] i mean. she can have friends, that’s not a problem at all. i’m never gonna stop her from that.

[vernon 👽] but like… she kept canceling out dates at the last second, or she’d forget about our plans because one of her friends wanted to go do something and they got mad at her for spending all her time w me, so she figured she should spend more time w them

[vernon 👽] just started to feel like i wasn’t important to her, y’know? 

[vernon 👽] like. not important enough to say ‘hey babe, suhyun wants to go to the amusement park and i’ve kind of neglected her, won’t make dinner today’ 

Oh. All at once, you were seething. As much as you wanted to feel bad for him, your anger kept building and building toward this ugly peak. Not now, you told yourself. You could be mad at him, but he was going through a tough time. 

(Where was he during YOUR tough times, you mentally shot back.)

[🚀] oh dude… i’m sorry

[🚀] that really sucks. i’m so sorry.

[🚀] i hope you feel better soon.

You turned your phone onto silent before slamming it down onto your bed, too choked up with emotions to say anything else. You had managed to pull it together long enough to say something that was hopefully nice, and now everything was hitting you hard and suffocating you. You wanted to throw something—anything—or scream in frustration. This sucked. You knew it sucked. But, fuck, you just wanted to go and scream at him “you see how fucking bad that feels?! To have someone you care about not fucking care anymore?!” and you didn’t. You couldn’t. It made you realize that neither of you have even addressed the fact you haven’t spoken in several months now.

You stepped out of your room, leaving your phone behind to get a glass of water. Maybe if you kept pushing your feelings down, you could redirect your anger into something better. If push came to shove, then you’d just go out and walk until you felt better. Youngtaek had been standing in the kitchen, preparing snacks.

“Oh, you’re home?” He didn’t look up past the quick glance he’d given you before he went back to arranging snacks. “Yeonjun and Wooyoung are coming over for game night. You don’t have to join us, but Changbin and I know you’re kind of friends with them, so you’re welcome to join us if you—”

The moment you sniffled, he looked up and realized something was wrong. All of a sudden, you couldn’t hold it in anymore. Something about being around other people you trusted made it harder for you to keep your emotions fully under wraps. Vernon once told you that you wore your emotions on your sleeve, and maybe that was still true. Youngtaek pulled you into his arms when you broke, letting you sob into his shoulder as he held you.

“Is it Vernon again?”

Youngtaek knew. Everyone knew, didn’t they? But Youngtaek and Changbin knew the most, next to Minho.

“You can’t keep avoiding this,” he said gently, stroking your hair. “It’s not fair to you.”

“He broke up with her,” you mumbled, “because she kept canceling plans a-and ditching him and…”

Youngtaek drew back, staring at you. “He what.” 

“And–And he didn’t feel like he was important to her at all anymore, a-and she would keep doing it last second or forgetting—”

You’d rarely seen Youngtaek look genuinely angry. He got frustrated, sure, because he was human. But this pissed? You weren’t sure you could even count how many times he was this outwardly angry. He masked it well before you now, though, taking a deep breath before he cut you off.

“One of my friends wants to go on a camping trip in a few weeks,” he told you. His hands rested on your shoulders, fingers slightly digging in. “He told me that some of his friends canceled for other plans, and that I could invite a few people if they wanted to come. You’re coming with me.”

You opened your mouth to speak.

“I mean it,” he said. “If you really don’t want to go, I won’t force you, but I think you need it. I’ll take your phone if you want, and it’ll just be us and a couple friends. We’ll cook together, and hike, and—and we’ll just have fun enjoying nature.”

You shut your mouth, slowly nodding. Maybe he was right and you needed to get away from all of this. It wasn’t going to be too much—camping here wasn’t all that out there as it was in other places—but you’d met some of Youngtaek’s friends before. Maybe you could talk them into a game of mafia. They’re all so genuinely horrible at it (they recorded it once for fun and Youngtaek sent you the YouTube video), it’d probably be fun to watch. 

Seungkwan was the one who reached out to you while you were helping Youngtaek make snacks. You stepped into your room to answer your phone, and learned that it was him and Chan who were cheering Vernon up. 

“I asked if he wanted to invite you over,” Seungkwan said quietly. “He said he didn’t want to burden you.”

You weren’t sure what to say. “Oh.” 

“I don’t know what to do.” Seungkwan went quiet for a moment. “You two used to be so close, and now…”

At least someone else saw it.

“I know you’re hurting, too,” he said. “Vernon said you texted him. I almost told him off because the reason he broke up with her was the same thing he was doing toward you. DId he ever come back?”

He didn’t. Your silence said that for you.

“Ah, really…” Seungkwan sounded annoyed, too. Less pissed than Youngtaek, but Seungkwan hadn’t seen how many times you’d felt rejected by your own ‘best friend.’ “I should tell him off after he feels better—”

“Don’t.” You shut your eyes. “It’s fine, Seungkwan. Just go be there for him.” 

“I will,” he said. “But you don’t have to lie to me. It’s not fine. I would have dropped a friend over this. If you need me, just text me, okay?”

It’s funny. You never really considered Seungkwan a close friend of yours. He was always someone you saw as a person you were on good terms with. The two of you didn’t hang out or do anything more than occasionally talk. There were no coffee dates, no study dates. Not like what you did with Minho and Changbin and Youngtaek—and, sometimes, Yeonjun. You paused, staring down at your friend for a moment as you returned to Youngtaek (and the newly arrived Yeonjun and Wooyoung).

“Hey… Can I invite a friend?” You looked up from your phone to the group. “It’s Minho.” 

They all knew Minho. They told you to go ahead if he wasn’t busy. The more the merrier. Minho texted back a few minutes later, saying he’d stop by the store on his way over, so to let him know if you guys wanted any snacks. People dished out their requests, and you’d merely asked for a melona bar. A few minutes later, you realized what you were craving, and texted him asking if he would get you banana snacks instead. He said he’d already let the store, and you’d made peace with it. You’d get the snacks some other time. 

Yet when he showed up, he passed you a small bag with your ice cream and a bag of banana-flavored snacks before he settled in beside you, hiding a smile.

Vernon was checking his phone again, this gnawing feeling within him to do so. He followed… well, a lot of people on social media. Friends. Friends of friends. He wasn’t exactly sure why, if he was honest. He kind-of liked seeing what other people were up to, since sometimes it’d give him ideas for his own stuff with friends. And then he saw you, and that gnawing feeling suddenly went away.

He’d met Youngtaek before enough to recognize him immediately. You were sandwiched between him and Bae Seungmin (another guy in your year—Vernon had a few classes with him before) in the background of a photo shared by someone else. Did he even know a Jangjun? He wasn’t sure. He’d have to see if he recognized him later. Instead, he just zoomed in on the three of you among hte group.

(Turns out, though, he did recognize Jangjun. He’d met him at a couple parties. He was the loud dude who did a spot-on cicada impression at one of them… and Vernon was actually pretty damn sure that Jangjun was sober that time.)

You looked… happy. Your eyes were sparkling in every picture, so completely filled with joy at being with the people you were with. Some other guy was hugging you tight in another picture. You were laughing in another one, holding a sparkler alongside the people around you. When did you get so close with other people? It felt like just yesterday you were getting lunch with him before you worked on a biology lab report. A few nights later, you had confessed that you felt lonely outside of him and a few other people. But he could see the can of cheap beer in your hand, and he suddenly understood a little better: you were always a little touchier, a little more carefree whenever you drank. He clicked the tag on the photo with the guy hugging you tight, smiling like he was yours: Sungyoon. He didn’t know Sungyoon. Were you two…? Had you…? 

He clicked on your page to find out. There wasn’t much on there (you weren’t active on social media, to be fair) but there was more than the last time he’d checked. The pictures of him were further down your page now. You had pictures of you and Youngtaek, taken in mirrors at a store. Of you and Changbin and a few more of his friends, throwing up peace signs while in a park, street food in hand. Of Minho, crouching inside of a cat cafe, feeding a cat a treat, saying you’d leave him to be with “his kind” since there were other pictures where he was surrounded by cats. Then another picture of you and Seungkwan, dated days after that diner date he had with Ji-woo. Seungkwan had an arm around your shoulder, pulling you in as the two of you beamed at the camera.

When was the last time he saw you smile like that?

You didn’t go home as much as you wanted to. Between school and work and life, it became a little harder to make that trip to see your family often. You’d taken a week long vacation, partially to go camping, and the rest was dedicated to your family. It was nice to eat your dad’s cooking again, and to sleep in your childhood room again. You walked the neighborhood a bit, too, hands tucked into your pockets as you enjoyed being somewhere you wouldn't exactly call home anymore. But that was part of growing up. Home became different places throughout life. This was just one of them, even if you couldn’t actively call it yours anymore. It was nice, except for the part where your mom was giving you shit for being single and lonely and whatever.

“I always thought you and Vernon would have gotten together,” she said while making you breakfast. Unbeknownst to her, that was the one thing that could have made you cry.

You later went out for another walk around the neighborhood. Tomorrow morning, you’d go back to your apartment and get ready for work later that day. The world seemed to be against you, though, because this walk was what made you realize that you weren’t the only one who’d come home to visit family. Vernon was inside, hugging his sister visibly from the window. He must have just come in as a surprise. His house was only a few down from yours. You’d move on in a moment. Instead, you just watched a moment longer, wondering if maybe you should walk up and ring the doorbell. Say hi to the second family you had. You sighed after a moment, and made a move on to get home.

Inside, Sofia was whining at him for hugging her so tight… and because it’d been years since she’d seen you. Vernon could feel his own ache of heartbreak. Sofia hadn’t liked Ji-woo when he brought her around.

She pushed his arms off of her, flopping down onto the couch, “You should just tell her.” 

Maybe one day he would, if he could stop being a coward.

Senior year came and went faster than you knew.

You didn’t talk to Vernon anymore. He didn’t text you. Finally, you think that this was it. One friendship undone and slowly dying for far too fucking long. It almost made you want to hold a funeral, if you were honest. The most you’d heard from him was a birthday text and the invitation to do something that you responded to with an apology, because you’d already made plans with other people. Minho had stayed by your side throughout your birthday, happy to spend the day with you at an amusement park. Youngtaek and Changbin had come with you, too, bringing along Yeonjun and Wooyoung and a few others. You never really liked being the center of attention, but you didn’t mind so much during this last birthday. One of Minho’s friends, Felix, had danced with you happily, fingers intertwined. You’d joked to Minho that he should bring Felix around more often: he seemed like a sweet guy.

At some point, though, you sat down to address your feelings for real. You had been friends with Vernon for years, and all of it seemed to disappear all too quickly. You had cried over it plenty of times, but you were hit with this sense of relief at long last. Not because it was over, because that would always leave this subtle ache in your chest. Relief because you had finally learned how to let go and stop fighting a losing battle. You could finally rest now, and focus on the people that loved you out loud in your life. People like Youngtaek, who laughed beside you when you had movie nights in the apartment. Sometimes it ended with popcorn in your hair, but you’d never hold it against him for too long. Changbin, who was the best gym buddy you could ever ask for. Despite how intense his workouts could be, he was always mindful of you adhering to your own limits. Minho, who gave you quiet understanding whenever you needed it most. Your outings to cat cafes always made you smile, though, especially when he used it as a springboard to talk about how he’d one day move Soonie, Doongie, and Dori into his apartment. These were the people who had found you along the way, and walked alongside you when you needed them. Even Seungkwan, who wasn’t your close friend, had reached out to you every so often to check on you because he cared. 

All good things came to an end. That was what you would tell yourself to feel better. Your friendships would come to an end one day, whether that be with an explosion or a quiet fizzle was something only time would tell. All you needed was to wait for the tide to come in and wash away the reminders of Vernon left along the sand.

Then you could run away.

taglist: @twancingyunhao @wonuziex @synthetickitsune @gyulbabie

#wooahaes.fic #seventeen x reader #seventeen x you #seventeen imagine #svt x reader #svt x you #svt angst #svt imagine #seventeen angst #seventeen imagines #chwe vernon x reader #vernon x you #vernon x reader #chwe hansol x you #chwe hansol x reader #chwe hansol angst #chwe vernon angst #vernon angst

[stantrash171819]

✧･ﾟ: Seventeen Masterlist : ･ﾟ✧

Lee Jihoon:･ﾟ✧

Late Night Calls -> domestic fluff, long distance relationship

Boo Seungkwan :･ﾟ✧

Ice Cream Conversations -> domestic fluff, established relationship, hint of idol!au

Hansol Vernon Chwe :･ﾟ✧

Reassurance -> slight angst, insecurity, hint of university au

No reposting of my work without my permission :3

#stantrash171819 masterlist #stantrash171819 seventeen masterlist #seventeen masterlist #masterlist #seventeen fluff #seventeen fanfic #lee jihoon fluff #woozi fluff #seungkwan fluff #boo seungkwan fluff #vernon fluff #vernon angst #hansol fluff #hansol angst #chwe hansol fluff #chwe hansol angst

[scalingsvt8thusiast]

Masterlist

Skin-Deep - Seungcheol x reader fic

summary: The one where you fall for Seungcheol amongst all the protests and insecurities. The one where you don't know that he's fallen for you too.

Part 1 - 1, 2, 2.5, 3, 4, 5

Part 2 - 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

Part 3 (Final) - 11, 12, 13, 14

Epilogue - 1, 2

Wait for your love - Wonwoo x reader fic = 1, 2, 3 (complete)

I wanna be yours with Wonwoo

Gym time with DK

Brooklyn baby with Mingyu

Meme time with Vernon

let me know if any links don't work :D

I don’t have a tag list but I might get around to making one soon but just check back soon if u like the fics 💞

#scoups #choi seungcheol #seventeen #svt #seventeen wonwoo #wonwoo #wonu #jeon wonu #svt wonu #seventeen wonu #seventeen angst #seventeen fic #seventeen fanfic #svt scenarios #seventeen fluff #svt imagines #seokmin fic #lee seokmin #seokmin fluff #svt seokmin #seventeen vernon #vernon #vernon seventeen #vernon chwe #hansol vernon chwe #svt mingyu #mingyu #seventeen kim mingyu #seventeen mingyu #svt kim mingyu

[lololololchips]

COULD U DO BFF!VERNON (may or may not he bffs to lovers 🥺)

vernon is so bff to lovers coded ☹️☹️☹️

BUT HERE IT IS ENJOYYYY:)

Vernon Chwe || bff to lovers texts with vernon

genre: fake texts, one shot au, fluff, bff x lovers arc, non!idols

warnings: cursing, fem pronouns, tiny angst, vernon being friendzone in the beginning 😓

#vernon texts #vernon svt #seventen vernon #svt vernon #vernon x reader #vernon fluff #chwe vernon #seventeen vernon #vernon chwe #hansol vernon chwe #vernon one shot smau #vernon #chwe vernon x reader #vernon angst #vernon smau #svt vernon social media au #svt fake texts #svt smau #svt fluff #kpop one shot smau #kpop smau #kpoptexts #kpop social media au #seventeen smau #kpopsmau #seventeen one shot #🐾

[hazz-a-bear]

Vernon thought —

.ᐟ angst. fluff. hurt/comfort

I just think Vernon is the type to automatically reach out to you if you're feeling bad. He won't even realize what he's doing until he has your face tucked to his neck, one hand holding your head and the other around your back. It's a case of his body reacting before his brain could even process what's happening.

He wouldn't say anything, just hold you to his chest and stay still. And if you start crying, he would simply tighten his hold around you and run his fingers along the back of your hair mumbling, "I know, I know, sweetheart. I'm sorry, I know"

Just the genuine remorse in his voice, how raw and pure he sounds apologising to you about something he doesn't have control over - it would make you cry a little more. But it's okay because he's still there to hold your pieces together as you fall apart in his arms. He's almost got you deadlocked into his neck with one arm holding your head in a very tender way. And you bet this man is not going to let you go until he's made sure there isn't a single drop of tear left in you.

#esa.writes #esa.seventeen #esa.vernon #chwe vernon #vernon hansol chwe #choi hansol #seventeen #seventeen x reader #seventeen angst #seventeen fluff #seventeen imagines #seventeen thoughts #vernon x reader #vernon fluff #vernon angst #vernon imagines #vernon thoughts

[yeoblurbs]

Honest

Angst with a happy ending & Hurt/comfort

Pairing: Hansol Vernon Chwe x Fem!Reader

WC: 2.07k

Warnings: Small mention of aggressive physical behavior in the first paragraph (not any members), mentions of a child needing surgery, a few curse words, crying, & subtle hints of anxiety

When Hansol is angry with you, he is honest.

he does not yell; the notion of using a misplaced sense of dominance with a masculine shout is unthinkable to him. he does not grab you aggressively, the thought of touching you in a way that wasn’t intimate and gentle never crossing his mind. and Hansol does not use your feelings against you; words shared in whispers passed through dark nights are kept safe within him, a heart-shaped lock as protection that only you have the key to.

so when Hansol is angry with you, he is calm and honest. except that is what hurts you most. it is the fact that everything he says comes straight from the heart. and while you’re thankful he isn’t explosive when angry, his truthful words find a way to harm you more than he realizes.

“I’m just saying, you could stand to be a little more responsible.” he shakes his head, frowning at you in disappointment. “You’re a grown woman, how can you possibly misplace something so important to me; to us?”

your stomach rolls uncomfortably at the implication that you didn’t care enough about your ring to keep it safe. it wasn’t like you did it on purpose. you know how much that ring means to Hansol especially, having been a family heirloom that has been passed down from generations.

but you worked at a hospital, and had no choice but to take it off each time you walked into a surgery. Hansol knew that, but it seemed you needed to remind him. “Don’t make it sound like that, Hansol,” you say briskly, wiping your cheeks. “You know how much I have to take it off, I just refuse to keep it at home because I want it with me at all times.”

He scoffs, “Well, look how that turned out for you.” and your face crumples miserably at his words.

he goes to grab his keys, and you reach for his arm instinctively, “Where are you going? You’re just going to leave while we’re in the middle of something serious?”

he looks you in the eye, giving you a blank stare as he gently removes your hand from his arm. always so soft, even when he’s angry, you think sadly.

“I think we’ve discussed everything needed already. I understand where you’re coming from, but I’m still upset,” he sighs, and you’re not sure what expression shows on your face, but if it’s anything close to how you feel then you’d assume it is the epitome of heartbreak.

“I’m just going to hang out with Shua today, I’ll see you later tonight, okay?” he says, kissing your forehead when you nod brokenly. and with that, he’s out the door, and you finally allow yourself to collapse into sobs.

how could you have been so stupid? misplacing his mother's ring, the most cherished item Hansol has; something he had given to you, entrusted to you. you ignore the incessant tears cascading down your cheeks and think of what you can do. you need to fix this; you need to find the ring.

-

“Dude, you know you’re not being fair with her, right? You know her profession, she literally has no choice but to remove all the shit from her hands.” Joshua reprimands from his place in his kitchen, Hansol sitting on his couch with a cup of coffee.

He blows on it softly, watching the steam disappear before returning. “I know, I know, but you have to understand why I’m so upset too. That ring meant so much to my mother, so much to me. She showed it to me when I was a child and told me it was meant for the one I love most.” he feels his frustration building again and takes a gulp of his drink.

Joshua walks out of the kitchen, coming to sit on the couch next to Hansol. “I get it, I really do, but don’t you think Y/n is also upset about losing it? You’re making it seem like you are the only person who’s upset and who had an attachment to the ring,” he clicks his tongue, “and I know Y/n loved that ring just as much as you did, otherwise you would’ve never given it to her.”

Hansol sits there processing his words, before putting his mug down on the coffee table in front and rubbing his hands on his face. he knows Joshua is right, and now he feels like an ass. “Fuck, okay. You’re definitely right but I kind of- well I did, invalidate her feelings while talking with her.” he looks stressed when he lifts his head, facing Joshua. “I need to apologize.”

“Well, that much is clear.” Joshua nods, patting his friend on his shoulder comfortingly. “Listen, Y/n is quite literally fucking whipped for you. I have never seen someone so in love,”

Hansol smiles at his words, butterflies erupting in his stomach at the thought of your adoring eyes. Joshua giggles at Hansol's smitten expression, “You just need to apologize and reassure her that she is worth more than that ring, because from what you’ve told me, your last conversation made it seem like you had your priorities fucked.” he shrugs.

“Plus, you leaving instead of reassuring her probably made things worse; in fact, she’s probably crying right now.” he points out, eyeing Hansol’s face and waiting for a reaction; and a reaction he gets.

Hansol immediately stands up, throwing on his sweater and grabbing his keys before running to Joshua and hugging him from the couch, “Thank you so much, Shua. I literally don’t know what I’d do without you.” he mumbles. Joshua pats his head softly, “I know, no need to thank me. Just go get your girl, Nonie.”

Hansol nods and flashes him a gummy smile before slipping on his shoes and running out the door.

Joshua shakes his head from the couch, chuckling to himself, “These kids.”

-

Hansol struggles to get the key from his pocket, balancing a bouquet of pink Lilies in one hand and your favorite food in the other. He manages to get the door open and attempts to be quiet as he places the items on the dining table.

the apartment is silent; he squints his eyes in confusion. “Baby? Y/n?” he calls, opening your bedroom door and finding the bed neatly done without you there.

his eyes scan the entire room before he bolts to the living room, frantically looking for you and realizing you’re not there. he immediately fumbles for his phone and clicks your contact. he puts it to his ear, “Pick up, come on Y/n pick up,” he whispers.

“Hi, sorry, you’ve reached my voicemail-”

he hangs up the phone and decides to text you.

To: y/n<3

[06:30]

Baby??? Can you pick up please? [Unread]

I’m sorry for earlier, but I’d like to talk about it now if that’s okay. [Unread]

[07:30]

I’m trying not to do the over protective boyfriend stuff but i’m getting a little anxious, my love. [Unread]

I would understand if you’re mad at me, but would you please just call me back? Please? [Unread]

[08:25]

You’re worrying me, just tell me you’re okay. [Unread]

Let’s talk about it, please? I’m not mad anymore, I just want you to respond, I’m getting worried baby. [Unread]

[09:00]

Y/n, I’m begging you to just tell someone you’re okay. I’ve called around and no one knows where you are. [Unread]

If you don’t want to come home, that’s fine, but please let us know that you’re safe. [Unread]

Hansol is two seconds from leaving his apartment and physically searching for you himself before the front door opens. his head snaps up, watching you sniffle and hang your coat up, placing your keys on the counter with a sigh.

he walks to you with quick steps, and you jump, startled when you look up and he’s right there. you open your mouth to speak, but he grabs your waist gently, pulling you into him.

“Where were you?! You didn’t pick up any of my calls, I was so fucking worried, Y/n.” he cards a hand through your hair, trying to soothe not only you, but himself.

you overcome your shock and place your hands on his arms, moving away so you can look at him, “I’m sorry, Nonie. My phone died and I didn’t have anyone else’s to use.”

Hansol makes a face at your words, staring at your appearance. your hair is messy, your eyes are swollen, and you look utterly exhausted; Hansol wants to cry at your disheveled look. “Baby, you can’t just go out for hours on end without telling a single person where you’re going, and then not respond to any of your calls or texts.” he flicks your forehead softly and you pout in response.

“I… was thinking about our conversation earlier,” you murmur, and Hansol's face softens. “I had misplaced the ring before an eight-to-ten-hour surgery.” tears fill your eyes again as Hansol cups your face, wiping them before they can fall. “I was so tired, and it was a little boy and I just… my head wasn’t there and I forgot where I placed the ring beforehand.” you sniffle, looking at Hansol's chest to avoid his eyes.

he lifts your face gently with the hand cupping your cheek and pecks your lips once. “I am so incredibly fucking sorry. you did nothing wrong, I was being an unreasonable ass.”

you stare into his irises, bottom lip pushing out as he swipes over it, “It’s okay, Nonie,” you whisper. but he shakes his head in response, “It’s absolutely not okay. You’re allowed to be really freaking mad at me right now, baby. You’re too forgiving.” he smiles, kissing your temple, “But that’s one of the many things I love about you, I guess.”

“You guess?!” you scrunch your nose at him, and he laughs, gums peeking out adorably as he kisses your nose. “I love everything about you, you know that.” your cheeks redden, and you look away with a faux sulk. Hansol is momentarily distracted by the very cute face you are making, when he remembers what he’s been worried about for hours.

“Okay, I understand why you lost the ring, and really, I’m not mad about it anymore, but that doesn’t really explain where you’ve been all these hours.” he reminds gently, tucking your hair behind your ears.

you look up at him somewhat abashed, “Ah… right. So after our conversation, I decided to… look for the ring?” you squeak out the last part, and Hansol looks at you incredulously, “You’ve been searching for the ring for hours?” he shouts, and you shrink in on yourself at his tone.

Hansol sighs when he looks at your expression, lowering his voice, “Baby, I’m really not mad, at least not at you.” he ruffles his hair with one hand. “I’m just so pissed at myself for letting you think you had to go search for it for hours. I wish you didn’t have to put yourself through that.”

he cups your face, drawing you closer as your noses touch, “No ring in this entire universe is worth as much as you. I can replace a ring, heirloom or not; but there is only one you, and I would give up everything for you.”

you can’t help yourself and drag your hand up his neck, into his hair as you pull his head down, lips touching his. he kisses you with fervor; with love, and you smile into the kiss, prompting Hansol to do the same. when you part, he pecks you over, and over again, until you’re giggling and pushing him away as he laughs.

with bright eyes, he grabs your hand and drags you to the couch, forcing you to sit down. you look up at him questioningly, “I bought your favorite, wait here and I’ll reheat it.”

you nod with a smile and he kisses your cheek before running to the kitchen.

that night, Hansol reassures you with more kisses and cuddles, promising you all the love he has to offer. the two of you go to bed, your face tucked into his neck as you breathe in his soft cologne, staring at the pink Lilies sitting in a vase beside you.

you fiddle with the ring on your finger as you smile into Hansol's neck, eyes drooping on the verge of sleep. well, you could surprise Hansol with the ring tomorrow, you supposed, after all, he was yours and you were his, regardless of any ring.

a/n: well… I ignored the several almost completed drafts I have just to write this in one night. first Seventeen fic, had to do Vernon<3

#vernon x reader #seventeen x reader #vernon x y/n #vernon x you #seventeen imagines #seventeen angst #vernon angst #vernon fluff #vernon chwe x reader #seventeen x you #hansol x reader

[honeyboylovee]

i can do it (for you)

Pairing: Non-idol!Vernon x reader

Word count: 1k

Genre: Fluff, Angst(just a little cos I can’t, for the life of me write angst), implied strangers to lovers

Warnings: mentions of anxiety, reader refuses to accept any help, mentions of negative experiences from the past

A/N: Before saying anything else, I have to say that I am not satisfied with the ending. But I really do not know how to end this. Also this is a little different from my previous works. This may or may not be written from personal experiences. Also, I did a little word play in the title if you guys notice that. Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Thank you for reading! Feedbacks are appreciated.

You believe yourself to be self-sufficient. It hadn’t always been this way. Several times in the past, there had been instances when you’d had to ask for people’s help- be it your peers, friends or your then-partners. And more times than not, these people, after helping you, made you feel like you owe them something. Their help started to feel like an obligation. You hated the feeling. You still do.

As you grew both mentally and emotionally, you stopped asking people for help. It wasn’t immediate. It took you time to get rid of. You wouldn’t care how difficult a task would be, you never asked for assistance or help. It was almost as if you had a point to prove. You didn’t know who you were proving it to, but you were.

This wasn’t a habit you were particularly proud of. You hated that you couldn’t trust someone enough to ask for help or accept the offered help. You hated that you were scared of people imposing an obligation on you. You hated it. And yet you did nothing about it.

That was until you met Vernon. You met him at a party. Your friend introduced him to you as her coworker. As you chatted, you discovered you had similar taste in music. And so the conversation flowed. You later discovered that you didn’t have a ride back home since your roommate left early. And it was too late for you to find a taxi. Vernon was quick to offer a ride back home. That’s when your habit of declining anybody and everybody’s help kicked in. You politely refused making a lame excuse. An excuse that you needed to sober up and so you’d walk back home. He didn’t want to push you on that. After all you’d just met. You ended up exchanging numbers with Vernon that day.

It was early on in your relationship when Vernon started noticing this habit of yours. He was observant when it came to your mannerisms. You loved and hated that at the same time. There had been an instance where he offered to bring you some lunch at your workplace. You had been late that day and hadn’t gotten the time to make any food. You had once again denied his offer.

‘I love the ramen from the cafe downstairs. I’ll just have that today.’, you’d told him.

You ended up eating two protein bars for lunch since you had a meeting at lunch and didn’t find the time or energy to go and have actual food.

Another time, it was a task as minuscule as tying your shoelaces. He noticed they were untied before you did. And so like any boyfriend(not all of them but that’s not the point) would, Vernon proceeded to bend down to tie them. That’s when his hands were stopped mid-air by your hands.

‘Wait wait wait…I’ll tie them’, you were quick to say as you beant down to tie your laces.

To say that he was dejected was an understatement. Man, he just wanted to tie his girlfriend’s shoelaces! Was that too much to ask for? As an ‘acts-of-service’ man that he was, he often became sad when you did that. He had to have a conversation with you soon.

As you reached home, he had been looking for an opportunity to start the conversation. He could see the opportunity from a hindsight when you complained about how sore your shoulders felt. He knew what he had to do then. He casually offered to massage them to make you feel better. And as he had expected, you refused. Frustration bubbled in him. But he managed to remain calm.

‘You never let me help you, lovie.’

He watched as your eyes widened for a second. Then, you were normal again.

‘That’s not true. They’re not that sore anyway. Maybe I just need some sleep and I’ll be fine.’

‘I’m not just talking about your shoulders. It’s just in general that you never accept any help from me or from anyone.’

Now you were the one getting frustrated. He could see it in the way you sighed. But he wasn’t going to leave the topic right now.

‘When have I ever refused any help from you?’, you said with a raised pitch to your voice. That was another indication that you’d lose your temper soon.

‘When have you not?’, he continued. He knew it was a tricky shot but he hit it anyway.

What he didn’t expect was the tears in your eyes following your prolonged silence. How could he forget? The raised pitch of your voice also meant you could cry soon. He was quickly on your side comforting you as you sobbed a little.

‘I don’t do it because I don’t want your help or because I think you can’t do a task.’, you spoke through your tears. ‘I just don’t want to be a burden on you. I have always done that to everyone around me. And…people, sometimes even my own friends made me feel like I owe them something even if they were the ones who offered to help me. It’s not the help that makes me anxious but the feeling after.’

You looked at him through your damp eyelashes. He was speechless, to say the least. When he decided to confront you about this, he hadn’t expected the reason to be that. Hell, he had even expected you to change the topic or make a poor excuse. His first instinct then was to engulf you in his arms till your sobs turned to sniffles.

‘You’re not a burden on me, lovie. You know I like helping you with chores, right? It makes me happy when I’m able to help you, be it making you food, tying your shoelaces or ordering your skincare for you. I feel zero burden doing that. Trust me, lovie.’, you listened to him as he poured his heart out, not looking at him.

You nodded then, not saying anything else.

‘What am I supposed to understand from that, hm?’

‘I’ll let you do some of the work from now.’, you said so softly that he would’ve missed it if he didn’t have all his attention on you.

‘You don’t need to ask for help. It’s good that you can do your work yourself. But if you ever need some, let me know, okay?’

#seventeen fluff #seventeen x reader #vernon fluff #vernon x reader #seventeen #vernon #seventeen angst #vernon angst #seventeen imagines #vernon imagines #seventeen fics #vernon fics #fluff #angst #hansol #chwe vernon #fanfiction

[yoonsdoll]

a love worth waiting for - chs

content : bsf!vernon x f!reader ; a lil angsty but fluff & happy ending ; 1.5k words warnings : vernon curses like 2ce lol - you are the most important person to vernon, but is it requited? an : i keep going on random writing hiatuses for no reason even tho i have so many ideas idek someone sos!!

vernon has loved you ever since he met you. as cheesy as it sounds, its something he cant deny whenever his friends ask him about, something he rants for hours about to his sister, something he finds himself thinking about more often than not. 

he remembers it like it was yesterday, even if its been years. it was an unusual meeting; seeing a pretty girl on a walk in the middle of summer would usually be normal, if only he didn't trip on a rock and land awkwardly conveniently on your path… and then make a comment on how his sister has the same shoes as you as if you’d care.

but you did. you made sure he was okay and laughed at his comment, then blabbered something about how your boyfriend has a similar hat to him. and, oh. he should've seen that coming.

of course he should have. such a put together, sweet girl would obviously have lines of guys lining up at her feet (or falling, in hansols case). but that didn’t matter - you only just met, you’d probably become friends if he asked for your number, that would be enough for him.

and for the first few months it was enough. you hit it off great, messaging each other often and even hanging out occasionally… well, when your jackass boyfriend let you. he hated your boyfriend - no, despised him. it wasn't even a case of jealousy; more of a genuine worry, at least for a while. he made it vocal on how he doesn’t like how your boyfriend controlled your life, but obviously supported your choices anyway. who wouldn't? you became his best friend, he would do anything to see you happy.

behind the worry he presented, vernon was stuck.

“i don't get it, why would she be with him if he's so.. controlling and mean?” everyday he called his friends.

“she literally looks unhappy, i feel bad and.. i dunno, angry... is that stupid?” everyday he talked about it, about how he wants to help you and, well, about you. “shes so… nice and pretty and forgiving. dude, he really doesn’t deserve her.”

until one day, “i could treat her better.”

he accepted it. he knew it wasn’t fair, for him or for you. everything leading up to that moment that he did, he thought it was simply sympathy. he put on this friendly act to not hurt your feelings, but maybe it was to not hurt his own. you wore your heart on your sleeve. it was obvious you were in love with your boyfriend, not him. and no matter what he did, that wouldn’t change.

soon you noticed the same things that vernon begged you to see in your boyfriend for a very long time. the gaslighting, restrictiveness, the bored attitude, and when you drifted apart it was only a waiting game till you broke it off.

vernon was surprised that the way his eyes sparkled when you came to cry to him didn’t give him away. truthfully, he couldn’t care less about the way it all went down or what he told you while you broke up with him. what mattered was that you were out of the situation you were blinded in. 

“he was a fucking dick,” no brainer, “its unfair - y'know, someone you love being out of reach.” those words sounded awfully familiar.

actually, maybe to him what mattered more is that he finally could reach you.

“i still love him,” you mumbled between your tears as vernon cooed at you.

he should've seen that coming too, and he couldn’t blame you at all - ever. but why did it sting so much more than the first time?

when he searched for your laugh after making a joke, you were laughing out of pity. when he comforted you, you weren’t thinking about him and how he was always there for you, instead you were thinking about yourself. when home to him was wherever you were, home to you was wherever your ex boyfriend was.

you just lost someone so dear to you and he was being so selfish. 

you two breaking up should've been the greatest thing he has heard in months, but instead he suddenly couldn’t help but feel like there was a bigger wall between you both than ever. 

of course, you never had feelings for him in the first place. vernon knew that. but something in him always held onto the possibility of you ending up together. not anymore, not after those four words left your mouth. he felt stupid for ever even having hope.

he paused to think before he spoke - something he rarely ever did when he was with you. “i know you do.” shaking his head gently, he added, “your heart just got broken, its a fresh wound, of course you still love him.” did everything he say have to apply to him too? it was almost humiliating in a way.

“its embarrassing… im the one who broke it off, i shouldn’t like him.” right, you felt it too.

at the end of the day, no matter who he was to you, you recognised him as someone you could trust. you spoke your thoughts freely, you were always by his side, you were his best friend; thats something vernon failed to see. he understood now to expect nothing but appreciate everything. because after all, being your friend would always be enough for him.

vernon promised himself he wouldn’t do or say anything stupid for your sake. he knew breakups are tough, and he knew that feelings don’t change in a day. he loved you, so he never would blame you for anything negative you made him feel. he wouldn’t blame you because you didn’t know.

or so he thought.

because months later when you arrived at his door looking more nervous than usual with a small smile on your face, vernon couldn’t be more confused.

“its almost 11pm.. what’re you doing here…?”

you let yourself in, setting your shoes aside and placing your coat on the hanger before grabbing his hand and dragging him to the couch to sit down.

“is it true?” 

“...is what true?”

“is it true that you have feelings for me?”

was that a trick question? “i mean..” he cleared his throat with a harsh cough, leaving the room silent for a few moments that felt like hours. “is that really what you’re doing at my house at 11 in the evening?”

“stop it. stop avoiding the question. just answer me.” 

“where’d you even get that idea from? dude i mean, you’re my best friend so if you’re asking -”

“you know what im asking..” your hands felt clammy, suddenly regretting knocking on the door after debating if you should for a solid 5 minutes. “i’m.. not mad or anything.” you added.

this was the million dollar question. he felt scared. “ha..” he couldn’t help but scoff to himself, “yeah.” though his tone tried being confident, the lack of eye contact and leg jittering was enough to see how nervous he truly was.

“im… so sorry,” you stared at him with your nose slightly scrunched - a detail he noticed whenever you were upset. “what? sorry? pfft.. theres nothing to be sorry for.” you figured he’d say that.

“im sorry for not noticing it earlier. i feel like an idiot.”

“no.. i feel like the idiot.” he quickly butted in, trying to take the blame, “you shouldn’t have to ‘notice’ anything. i should have told you ages ago so we could get past… whatever this is. i was just being a pussy and i -”

you admired his dedication to try explain but decided to stop him. “no vernon, im sorry for making you wait.” 

making him wait? “what are you even talking about? you didn’t do anything i swear…”

“maybe you really are the idiot..” you suddenly smiled a little wider, catching him off guard, “i meant i'm sorry for not noticing my feelings.. for you.. earlier.”

if he was confused before, he was now completely dumbfounded. the frown on his face wiped into a completely new expression. one of certain shock and hope, but with an equal amount of doubt. 

“agh..” you groaned in fake annoyance, feeling your cheeks heat up in embarrassment, “i’m telling you that i like you too.”

oh. for once, he didn’t see that coming.

“are you serious?” he mumbled out, struggling to process the consumed information, a million things going through his mind.

“no im lying.” you tilted your head, “obviously im serious, why else would i be here?”

“you’re right.. i don’t know why i said that.” he nodded, a smile forming on his own face, “im just… at a loss of words dude.”

he let go of a breath he didn’t notice he was holding, sighing from relief as he looked at you. no more words were exchanged before he moved closer to hug you. a hug of love, ease and joy.

“if so.. can i be your boyfriend?” he whispered in a happier tone than before, the previous fear moulded into delight.

“yeah. i’d like that a lot.”

#caratsland #k-labels #caratlibrary #chwe vernon #chwe hansol #vernon drabble #vernon x reader #vernon svt #vernon fluff #svt #seventeen #svt x reader #seventeen x you #seventeen fanfic #seventeen x y/n #seventeen fluff #seventeen x reader #angst #romance #laura : writing ! #laura : fics ! #yoonsdoll

[hoshifighting]

Code of temptation

Synopsis: When a series of cyber threats puts national security at risk, Y/N is assigned to lead the investigation. Her team is complemented by Vernon, a computer genius known for his dexterity in deciphering the most complex codes.

Words: +1k

Reader! SecretAgent x Vernon! Hacker

Warnings: Smut, oral (f. receiving), penetrative sex, exhibitionism, unprotected sex (wrap it up), dry humping, fingering, hair pulling, chocking, dirty talk and etc.

Your tight TechWear is starting to get uncomfortable, your fingers attached to the trigger, and your arms are already weak from holding the heavy gun, one wrong movement, everything is done. You wait for the sign from Mingyu, who is already in position to catch the target “1, 2, 3… Now!” he says in the little point of sound in your ear, and you do your shot.

The bullet hits the target directly in the head, and Mingyu runs in the middle of the basement to steal the small device that is the pivot of the mission you have been working on for the last few weeks. The both of you run to the back door, you enter the armored car that awaits you. 

“Objective accomplished successfully, mission completed with distinction and mastery.” Your chief says on the other line. Body finally relaxing on the car seat, while you do a little weak punch on Mingyu’s hand.

[…]

“We did a great Job Mr. Lee, we trained for this, but it’s difficult ultimately, they are more attached to the systems day by day, so we need to take action, and ask for the Department Head to recruit a Technical Expert, so we can obtain coordinates during missions” you point your pencil on the map in front of you “Promise me that by the end of the month, we will have some ‘technology guru’  to help us, and I promise to complete another mission as always.” that said, you leave the meeting room slamming the door loudly.

[…]

You hold a cup of coffee while you try to decipher the nominal codes on the computer screen, you snort and immediately give up on understanding the logic of the system in front of you. The computer room doorbell rings, and you can see a young man with brown hair waiting for the door to be opened, showing his FBI badge. You put your fingerprint into the system, and the door is slowly opened, revealing the boy, holding the shoulder strap from his backpack, wearing a black uniform, just like yours. 

“First off all, I am almost freaking the fuck out seeing all these algorithms with letters on the same screen” you point to the computer with raised eyebrows, and he closes the door behind him “and we should have met before the mission started, but since you're here now, we need to track them down as quickly as possible.” He agrees and sit on the chair in front of the desk.

“My name is Vernon by the way” the sarcasm is proliferated from his lips, while he maintains an extremely unbothered expression.

You snort incredulous at his audacity - even though the ironic tone in his voice may not have been intentional - you stop to look at him from top to bottom, analyzing his mannerisms until he actually starts doing something on the electronic device that hovers in front of him “very funny of you, but I would like more respect since I am leading this mission, and the hierarchy is very-“

“Oh come on don’t play like you’re 10 years older than me!” He says with the face still buried on the screen “and since you are leading the mission amidst so much cyber invasion, you should at least know how to clear your history, if I were your enemy, and found out that you listen to the same Backstreet Boys song for 9 hours straight, you would definitely no longer be my target, freaky ass girl”

The heels on your feet touches the cold ground towards him “This is an invasion of privacy!” You turn the chair, so now you make eye contact with him, pressing his shoulders on the chair. 

“This is being on the verge of madness!” You let him go, sitting on the couch on the other corner of the room, drinking your coffee ashamed.

The clicks on the mouse and the sound of the keys were driving you crazy, until he lifted his back from the chair and widened his eyes towards the computer, you run to see the screen popping a map with a lot of red ropes interlinked “Fuck! they’re on the building!” You recognize the structure of the department you are hiding in, running to get your guns attached to your waist, while Vernon turns off the trackers “We need to run away right now, we don’t have time!” You hold his arm, and you run through the company halls, until you leave the building, running down the opposite street. You led the way, while Vernon, the shy hacker, tripped over his own legs. The sound of sirens echoed through the streets, mixing with the frenetic rhythm of your footsteps. The cobblestone streets made escape even more challenging.

"Y/N, I think they saw us!", Vernon exclaimed, breathing hard.

You threw a quick glance behind you, displaying a confident grin. "Don't worry, Vernon, I have a foolproof plan." you say with pure sarcasm, and with a quick gesture, you grabbed Vernon's hand and led you into a narrow alley. The space between the two of you is tiny, you can clearly feel Vernon's minty breath hitting your face, the space doesn't help either, as your breasts are pressed against Vernon's chest - he'd be lying if he said he wasn't starting to like it.

The tension in the air was palpable as your eyes met, breathing heavily, you shared a moment of complicity that transcended the imminent danger. You instinctively grabbed Vernon's forearm, running your fingers over the skin still warm from running his eyes revealed a mixture of surprise and expectation, an electrically charged silence filled the narrow alley as your proximity grew. You, who are normally focused and fearless, felt a unique vulnerability at that moment. Then, without words, but with a shared intensity, you leaned slightly towards Vernon. The world around him disappeared when his lips finally touched, an instant of defiant lust in the midst of chaos. The narrow alley became a stage for the beginning of an immense desire between the two of you.

His right hand goes to your neck, pulling your hair, and the other, grab the meat of your ass, you moan in his mouth - you had even forgotten that you had a small beef with him earlier -, your hand goes down until you can fill your hand with his hardened cock, making him stop the kiss to bite his lip “Turn around” he orders. You hardly turn because of the compact space, and now your ass was pressed against his dick, as he pulls your skirt up, massaging your clit over the thin fabric of your panties “More, we don’t have time!” You whisper, and he slaps your cunt “Stop being hasty! Where's your 'foolproof' plan uh?” a high pitched moan leave your mouth, your hands holding on the little bricks of the wall so your face doesn't lie on them.

Vernon pulls your panties to the side, entering his fingers in your cunt, you hump your ass against him, feeling he hiss in your ear, the wet noises from your pussy and the sound of your panting breaths fills the alley, you moan feeling him going faster with his fingers. He suddenly stops the movement, opening his jeans, so he can slide his cock through your folds. “You are so hot, but fuck, you are so annoying!” he pulls your hair, slowly moving his hips finally diving into your heat, your eyes roll at the back of your head, his mouth kissing your neck.

The space was small, but he was doing wonder with his hips, circling his hips so his tip brushes against your g spot, making your legs go numb, you're lucky that he held you tight with an arm around your hip “Such a whore… Tsk” 

You can hear footsteps approaching you, while a light from a flashlight approaches, Vernon pulls you to hide deeper in the alley. 

“I think I heard something coming from here!"

He covers your mouth with one hand as he bites your shoulder, furrowing his eyebrows, still pounding deep inside of you, feeling your juices run down your thighs.

“It must be all in your head, come on, they must have gone that way!”

Vernon pulls you to rest your back against his chest, chocking you, while his hips are working faster “Afraid of being caught hm? So nervous that got you clenching so hard around my cock.” Your mouth opens, as you feel your orgasm approaching, his dirty talk between his moans was driving you crazy, squeezing him, while he throw his head back. “Fuck, I’m cumming” his cock twitches inside of your pussy, shooting ropes of cum inside of you, moaning low in your ear.

You can feel his cum running down your legs, he starts to rub your clit again, so slow it almost burns, his scent invading your nostrils, making your mind go blank, your body begins to tense, and an intense climax makes your legs shake, as he laughs proudly in your ear “Hmm… Thats it! Good girl..” He turns you around, so now you're face to face with him again, his kisses going down your jaw, as he fix your skirt. 

“The night isn't over yet, we still have targets to catch” he gets dressed again “but first, let me clean you up” he bends down, licking your thighs, until he reaches your pussy, holding your leg up on his shoulder, while you tremble sensitive. He stands up, wiping his mouth with his thumb. Vernon steals a kiss from you, before pulling you to run through the streets once again.

#seventeen smut #seventeen x reader #vernon smut #seventeen imagines #svt smut #hansol vernon chwe #chwe vernon #chwe hansol x reader #seventeen reactions #seventeen headcanons #vernon x reader #vernon #vernon angst #hoshifighting writes

[daechwitatamic]

Vice;Grip || chs || Masterpost

(banner by @itaeewon)

Vice;Grip Vernon x afab reader || angst/smut/fluff || fuckbuddies!au NSFW - minors DNI

Status: complete - posting updates weekly starting May 17 wc: 32k total; 5 chapters

Warnings: Frequent depictions of depression, depressive episodes, panic attacks, and substance abuse. PLEASE know that these characters’ relationships with drugs and alcohol are not healthy and should not be emulated. If these topics are triggering to you, please consider sitting this one out.

Additional warnings for: language, drinking, eventual smut (individual sections will have more detailed warnings)

Author's Note: huge thank you to @eoieopda and @sailoryooons for beta-ing, accepting many screenshots and rambling voice notes, and answering a lot of questions as I worked on this.

Series Teaser:

You both knew why you were there. You both knew what you needed out of it: just sex, just fun.

The just of it failed to last.

You know precisely the first time it was different, the first time it wasn’t for fun. You needed the same things as always: his mouth hot on your skin, his hands roaming, the feeling of him emptying your mind and pushing every bad feeling out like there wasn’t room for them anymore. But for the first time, you didn’t want those things for enjoyment.

You wanted them as a salve.

Make it not hurt, you could have asked him. Or, at least, make it hurt in a way I choose. 

Playlist: you can call me in the middle of the night / you can leave before i wake up in the morning / and it could feel so wrong / but i'll still hold on

1. Sharp is your favorite word for Vernon. It fits everything about him, top to toe, inside and out.  Sharp, sharp, sharp.  He looks how you feel inside, even now. 

wc: 5700 || read more posting: May 17

2. “What is it?” he asked. “Want me to make you feel good?” No, you wanted to say. No, just want you to make me feel.

wc: 7600 || read more posting: May 24

3. wanna be a cicada with me? vernon what the fuck its a serious question

wc: 5100 || read more posting: May 31

4. “Don’t go home. Stay. Jagi, stay here.” And, he had to give you credit - you at least told him the truth. “I can’t.”

wc: 6600 || read more posting: June 7

5. “What about now?” he asks. “What?” “You said not back then,” he explains. “You said back then you couldn’t give me what I wanted. What about now?”

wc: 7300 || read more posting: June 14

#kvanity #svthub #svt fanfic #svt fic #svt x reader #seventeen x reader #seventeen fanfic #vernon fanfic #vernon fic #vernon x reader #vernon x you #vernon x y/n #vernon chwe x reader #hansol x reader #hansol x you #chwe hansol x reader #vernon smut #hansol smut #vernon chwe smut #chwe hansol smut #vernon angst #vernon fluff #hansol fluff #chwe hansol fluff #fuckbuddies au #fic: vice;grip

[sailorrhansol]

One in the Grave | Series Masterlist

❀ Pairing: Vampire!Vernon x Dhampir!Reader (f) 

❀ Summary: Immortal problems require immortal solutions, but you never expected the unlikely help from a vampire lord and the destruction that might come with it. 

❀ Series Word Count: 1,366 so far

❀ Genre: Supernatural, Dystopian,

❀ Type: Unlikely allies to lovers, slow burn, angst, eventual smut

❀ Rating: 18+ Minors are strictly prohibited from engaging in and reading this content. It contains explicit content and any minors discovered reading or engaging with this work will be blocked immediately.

❀ Series Warnings: General fantasy and supernatural violence, dystopian/totalitarian themes, depictions of blood and gore, angst, character traumas, death and sickness, depictions of loss and suffering, humans are subservient to vampires, explicit language, and explicit sexual content. Each chapter will have its own set of carefully labeled warnings, these are general warnings for overarching themes. 

❀ A/N: This dystopian vampire idea is something I have had written in my writing journals since I was in middle school and I've finally decided to use the idea as a fic. I am writing this as I go and posting when chapters are ready - there is no schedule or post plan, just vibes. Please be patient with me! I have to see this fic through to the end or @daechwitatamic will find me and put me into a room until I do :)

❀ Disclaimer: Disclaimer: All members of Seventeen are faces and name claims for stories. Any scenarios or representations of the people and places mentioned in works are not representative of real-life scenarios. Moreover, none of my works accurately reflect, represent or take a stance on the nuances of Korean culture, cities, people etc. Seventeen members are not Seventeen culturally, intellectually, physically, or representationally in my stories, and should be considered name and face stand-ins for made up characters.

Main Masterlist ❀ Tag List Request Form ❀ Ask ❀ Playlist

00// NOTES FROM THE FALL

01// THE FAVOR.... coming soon

#vernon x reader #hansol x reader #vernon smut #hansol smut #vernon fic #hansol fic #svt smut #svt fic #vernon angst #svt x reader #svt fanfic #seventeen smut #seventeen fanfic #svt imagines #chwe hansol x reader #chwe vernon x reader #svt #seventeen #minors dni #minors do not interact #i literally hate tagging and i feel so awkward putting tags please don't perceive me #why is tagging your fic so embarrassing

[l2vedive]

EXILE w. hansol vernon chwe

spiderman hvc & angst (389)

pairing: vernon chwe x reader

note: making my svt writing debut and my comeback on this account ,, have this as a crumb n lmk if you liked it ty enjoy <3

in the heart of manhattan, spiderman swings gracefully through the city, his senses tingling with an impending danger he can't quite place. little did he know that his world was about to shatter.

perched atop a towering clock tower was you, who was precariously over the edge. fear and hope mingling in your eyes as you catch the sight of him approaching.

nightingale, the villain once known as minghao, an old high school friend, stands nearby, grinning wickedly. "hansol, my old buddy," he sneers. "you're right on time."

spiderman's heart pounds as he shoots his webs toward you, determined to save you. but fate has other plans. the webs misses their mark, and it doesn't even register in your head as your scream echoes through the night, voice fading into the abyss as you plummet to the harsh concrete.

"no!" spiderman's cry of despair pierces the air as he dives after you, but it's too late. your body had disappeared into the darkness, and your haunting scream slowly faded away.

nightingale laughs cruelly, relishing in spiderman's agony. "you've failed, hansol. just like you always do. you couldn't save me, couldn't save uncle ben and now you couldn't even save your precious yn."

spiderman lands heavily on the ground, tears streaming down his masked face as he mourns your loss. "hey bubble.. yn," he chokes out, his voice trembling with grief.

from the shadows below, your voice, weak and fading, reaches his ears. "spiderman.. hansol , i've always known it was you," with trembling fingers, you reach for his cheek. "..wish you had asked 'bout that movie."

hansol leans into your touch, tears staining with his mask as he whispers, "i should've.. god, i really should've."

you muster a weak smile, your strength waning. "i would've loved to go see that movie with you."

hansol's voice breaks as he responds, "i would've loved that too."

your smile fades as you close your eyes, your final breath leaving as the clock strikes midnight; almost like a taunting reminder for spiderman. in that moment, hansol leans down, pressing his masked lips gently against your forehead, a silent farewell filled with sorrow and regret. nightingale's laughter echoes in the distance, but all hansol could hear was the crushing weight of his failure and the memory of your smile fading in his last song.

— please do not copy , translate or repost any of my works anywhere.

© l2vedive on tumblr

#svt scenarios #seventeen scenarios #vernon angst #seventeen angst #svt angst #seventeen #hansol angst #vernon x reader #vernon chwe #hansol chwe #svt imagines #seventeen imagines #vernon imagines #vernon scenarios #seventeen x reader #svt x reader #from me 2 you

[animeniacss]

heyyyyy bestie it's wonuwrites xo

Soooo I have a request for you~ like I told you in messages I have a drabble/oneshot idea with a Taylor Swift song + Wonwoo because of course it's Wonwoo <3 So the song is the 1 by Taylor Swift. Specifically this lyric: "But we were something, don't you think so? Roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool And if my wishes came true It would've been you In my defense, I have none For never leaving well enough alone But it would've been fun If you would've been the one."

I am excited for this <33

Thank you for waiting! Sorry it took longer than I hoped!

Synopsis: After a year and a half of being broken up, you and Wonwoo reunite briefly. You think back to those days and what could have been different.

Tags: Ex!Wonwoo, Angst, Coffee Shop!AU, T.Swift Inspired Lyrics

Length: approx. 1.8k words

Wonwoo x Reader - The One I Couldn't Be

         The café was always empty this early in the morning, and that was how you liked it. It took a few hours for the real foot traffic of the morning commuters to make its way to your work, and that meant a few hours of peace. The only sound was that of the oven whirring behind you, heating up for the string of breakfast sandwiches you were bound to start on.

         You were dusting off the top of the display cases when you heard the sound of the bell ringing at the front entrance. Immediately, your head snapped up and you smiled. “Welcome, can I help you?”

         When a familiar deep voice uttered your name, your eyes settled on a familiar set of dark eyes behind rimmed glasses and a warm smile.

         “Wonwoo.” Despite how much time had passed, you breathed the name with so much familiarity. “Good morning!”

         “Good morning.” He said. “Am I early? Are you open yet?”

         “Barely. But that’s okay. What can I get you?” You turned towards the machines behind you. “The usual?”

         “You still remember?” he chuckled at the realization.

         How could I forget? You thought to yourself. “Of course. I only made it for you fifteen million times.” When Wonwoo laughed again, you felt yourself inhaling an extra deep breath. “So, what brings you in? I feel I haven’t seen you around here in a while.”

         “I don’t have a reason to be around this part of Seoul anymore.” The comment tugged at your heartstrings, pulling them in the opposite direction and tightening your chest, like when a child tugs furiously at the laces of their shoes and squeezes their foot inside a bit too tight.

         “What brings you today, then?” You watched the coffee brew into the pot. “It’s not to see me, is it?” Finally working up the courage to turn back to Wonwoo, you caught a small smile on his lips. His eyes cast down to the display case. “Do you want something to eat? I can pop a sandwich in the oven to warm up.”

         Wonwoo shook his head. “I’m okay, thanks.” You approached the register and punched in the order. “How has everything been?”

         “Good. You?”

         “Fine. Still here.” You motioned to the muted brown walls decorated in florals that boxed you in. Wonwoo only hummed in response, and the both of you fell into awkward silence.

         How else could it be with Jeon Wonwoo? Nothing other than awkward felt like it made sense anymore. It was expected really, when you’ve been broken up for almost a year and a half. It was a whirlwind, really, not even long enough for you to process that going forward any interactions with the one person you thought you’d spend the rest of your life with would feel awkward.

         Maybe that was why it felt impossible to breathe; as if you were sitting at the bottom of the ocean for the entirety of that year and a half.

         As you turned to the coffee machine and began assembling his drink. “Do you remember-.” You paused for a second, wondering if going down memory lane would add to the awkwardness. “When you and I would go to the mall and before we went shopping, we would toss a penny into the fountain outside?”

         Wonwoo’s eyes shot up in your direction and he smiled. “Yeah. Of course. To make sure we could find what we were looking for that day.”

         “Those were fun times.” You said, just loud enough for him to hear. Even if he gave a curt, one-word reply or a verbal nod, you would feel content. You would feel content knowing that those memories were just as dear to him as they had been to you – still were to you.

         “Do you still do it?” You caught a slight tease in his voice though it was masked with a bit of shyness. It seemed even he was treading a tightrope of nostalgia in this moment, neither of you wanting to say too much and risk falling into the depths below.

         “Do you?” Wonwoo only chuckled as you passed him his drink. He offered a small thank you. You smiled. “Are you taking this to go?”

         Hesitation as Wonwoo scanned the area. “I think I can sit for a minute.” You nodded, watching as he took the first seat in the café; the one closest to you. He even faced you, and it felt like a year and a half ago for a second. Wonwoo sipped his coffee and smiled while you both talked until the café got busy and he was ultimately left for the morning to head to his own job. That is, until you two would see each other in the evenings and everything felt right again.

         That part didn’t happen anymore.

         “How’s the family?” You asked.

         “They’re good. My parents are still my parents.”

         “Workaholics?” You hummed, and Wonwoo’s laugh confirmed enough. “What about Bohyuk? Still in the whole fashion model business?”

         “Took a break to finish his degree, but he said he wants to get back into it.”

         Even in only a year and a half, a lot had changed in Wonwoo’s life. You couldn’t help but wonder how things would be different now if you had left well enough alone, bit down the things that felt so major at the time, but make you cringe in regret now. Did those things really matter? Would they have mattered to you now? The distance between the both of you is so big you’d need a boat to cross it and see him again just to fight about how long the trip took in the first place.

         You could have left well enough alone because now all of those moments felt pointless, but not the same kind of pointless as watching two copper pennies drop to the bottom of the fountain’s water. A different, emptier kind of pointless that makes you regret.

         Wonwoo decided to break up. While sitting on his bed, a movie idly playing in the background, he had mentioned it.

         “We should take some time apart. I think it’s good for both of us.”

         That time was a year and a half, a changed social media relationship post, and an ugly cry into the tub of ice cream Jeonghan bought you ago.

         Pulling yourself back to the present with talk of life updates, dawning the mask of a sociable customer service worker, you choked out a: “What about you?”

         “Me?”

         “Yes, you.” You snorted. “Still at the same job? Still playing the same games? What’s new?”

         Wonwoo was silent for a beat too long so you finally turned back to face him despite what your facial features might convey about your feelings. Wonwoo had the coffee cup to his lips, eyes cast at one of the decorative paintings hung up on the wall beside him. It had been changed twice since he was here last, and he seemed to notice.

         “Different painting? I liked the old one.”

         “Oh, you’re changing the subject? That must mean you have something juicy to hide?” Wonwoo didn’t chuckle or laugh under his breath this time. That made your teasing smile fall. “Sorry, maybe it’s not my business. I shouldn’t push.”

         “Ah, no.” Wonwoo shook his head. “I was just debating on if I wanted to tell you when I came in here for coffee.”  

         “Tell me what?” You asked.

         Wonwoo seemed a bit unsure. “I feel like it’s inappropriate. After all this time.”

         “Is it some kinky thing?” Wonwoo finally laughed again, shaking his head. A bit of blush formed on his cheeks.

         “You’re terrible. No.” You were silent despite a small smile on your face, watching as Wonwoo shifted in his seat. “I met someone.”

         “Ah.” You didn’t intend for the sound to escape your lips, but when it did your chest deflated. “That’s lovely. Is she nice?” Of course, she is. You thought. Wonwoo only attracts nice people….

         “She is.” He said. You could see the fondness in his eyes. “We met at this party Mingyu took me to about six months ago. We’re meeting up today about 15 minutes down the road.”

         “The aquarium?” Wonwoo nodded. “Aw, that’s really nice.” Wonwoo’s eyes relaxed a bit, as did the rest of his body. “I’m happy for you.”

         “Thanks.” He seemed to have finished his coffee since he didn’t lift it up for more sips. “What about you?”

         “Pah.” You scoffed. “Nothing but men looking for hook-ups, or the guys who won’t leave you alone when you’ve politely turned them down.”

         “Ah, sorry to hear that.”

         You shrugged passively because it didn’t bother you. “I’ve taken a break from all that. This-.” You motioned to the four walls and the display case in front of you. “-Causes me more than enough stress.” A beat of silence, and you added. “I’m happy for you, though.”

         “Thank you.” He got up from his seat and walked back over to the display case. For a second his eyes dropped to it, scanning the contents. “I think I might take something to eat for the trip.”

         “Okay.” Hands reached into the case and pulled out two muffins, chocolate chip and blueberry. “Here.”

         “Ah. Two?” He blinked. “I’m Mingyu, you know. I don’t eat that much at once.”

         “It’s for your girlfriend, Wonwoo.” This had been only the second time you said his name this morning, yet it felt so natural escaping your lips yet again. “That’d be kind of rude of you to not show up with anything for her.”

         “Ah, you’re right.” Wonwoo smiled. When he reached into his pocket, you stuck your hand out. He looked confused as his eyes met yours again.

         “Don’t worry. On me.” You said.

“What? I couldn’t.”

“Too bad.” You said. “I insist. Thanks for coming to visit.”

Reluctantly Wonwoo put his wallet back in his pocket and nodded with a grateful thank you. In a few minutes, Wonwoo would be out of your café once again, this time heading to see someone else rather than to kill time before being in your arms once again.

The thought hurt, but it hurt less seeing Wonwoo smile the way he did. “Take care of yourself, okay?”

“Mm. You too.” Wonwoo fixed his glasses, waving his hand as he headed out of the café. You watched his back get smaller and smaller, turning as he passed by the window and down the street. Just like that, you were left alone in the café like you had been ten minutes earlier. Only now, you heart was heavier.

As the day went on, serving customers and cleaning tables, your mind weighed heavy on the topic of: what would be different now if I had been the one? Could I have done anything differently to keep Wonwoo in my grasp?

Were we always destined to grow apart this way?

As evening pulled over the city you locked up the café and stepped onto the street, bag slung over your shoulder and cap pulled over your sleepy eyes.

With the moonlight as your only companion, you made your way home, your mind finally quieting down with questions a year and a half too old to be answered. Well, one question you had today was answered.

He didn’t come back to town just to see you. 

If you want to request something, post in my inbox and check my requests post!

#seventeen fic #seventeen imagine #seventeen x reader #scoups #seungcheol #jeonghan #joshua hong #hong jisoo #junhui #jun #wonwoo #wonwoo x reader #wonwoo imagine #wonwoo angst #woozi #jihoon #soonyoung #hoshi #the8 #minghao #myungho #mingyu #seokmin #seungkwan #vernon hansol chwe #dino #lee chan #kpop fanficion #kpop imagine

[nishloves]

the night we met ~ vernon

vernon x f! reader // angst ; old english au // words : 1k // m.list

synopsis : he was just another man you had come across in your life.

based on : calypso (greek myth); the night we met (lord huron)

“I am not the only traveller,

Who has not repaid his debt.

I've been searching for a trail to follow, again.

Take me back to the night we met.”

You were the prettiest flower he had laid his eyes upon, breathtaking, enticing, ethereal... beautiful. You were simply beautiful.

He was a nomad, a traveller, a lost wanderer; venturing from place to place to fill his empty heart with all the nugatory promises, naught happiness.

You were as amicable as Calypso herself, a refugee for broken hearts, a healer of withered souls, a home to rest. A lover of heroes— he wasn't a hero though, neither was he a villain.

He was a man, a simple aimless man.

“And then I can tell myself,

What the hell I'm supposed to do?

And then I can tell myself,

Not to ride along with you.”

His hands guided you through the notes, your feet effortlessly matching his steps as he smiled at you, your eyes twinkling up at him, his heart clenched as he looked away from your innocent eyes; he knew he'd break your heart, and he doesn't want to see it this soon, he doesn't want you to register that he doesn't love you.

The dim lights accessorized your skin as the glitter on your cheeks glimmered with the reflected candlelight.

The flowers in your hair seemed to weigh down on your neck as you winced when you looked up at him.

Vernon's hand travelled to your nape, giving your head support as you gasped under his fleeting touch, your breath hitching as you melted under his touch.

Would he do it all over again?

“I had all and then most of you

Some and now none of you

Take me back to the night we met.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do,

Haunted by the ghost of you.

Oh, take me back to the night we met.”

He saw you rejecting every suitor who asked you for a singular dance, he saw you giggling and blushing whenever his name was mentioned, he heard that you were looking forward to him at every ball of the season.

Only if you knew.

Vernon sighed as the deep red liquid burned his throat, the crystal chandelier hung above him reminded him of your earrings, the ones you told him you adored yet lost— only if you knew they were still stuck on his cuffs.

The burning flame of the candle replicated the electric, hot touches you both had bestowed upon yourselves. The pearl necklace— your gift, sat prettily in front of him, looking as innocent and pure as your eyes. Yet the empty wine glass reminded him of your heart.

He took away the innocence of your eyes with his kiss, and left you with an unfulfilled heart.

He shouldn't talk to you.

“When the night was full of terrors,

And your eyes were filled with tears.

When you had not touched me yet

Oh, take me back to the night we met.”

"I played with your heart, y/n," he repeated, his eyes unwavering.

"No... you aren't so cruel, you will never be so cruel to anyone."

"But I am," he replied, the moisture in his eyes undetected by both you and him.

"Why would you give me this, then? Why would you swear your heart on me? Why would you call me the ruler of your soul then?"

His jaw went slack as he looked at your tear-filled eyes, the windy November nights making you shiver as you peered up at him; your eyes red, full of hurt and denial, yet they held no animosity or hostility towards the said perpetrator of your heart.

"Don't you realize?" His voice was soft, softer than anytime he had spoken to you, "i don't have a heart, you're the owner of an empty palace; the ruler of apathetic barren lands."

"Then why do you cry?"

His words stopped in his throat as he touched his cheek, his eyes widening as he looked back at you, "Surely you jest, y/n. Can't you see that I'm acting?"

He could feel, he could feel again.

Surely you were the Calypso, the runaways' hearth.

"You're crying, Vernon."

"I pity you, y/n." I don't deserve you; I am a mere wanderer, one of the many travellers you meet before you find your Odysseus.

“I had all and then most of you

Some and now none of you,

Take me back to the night we met.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do

Haunted by the ghost of you

Take me back to the night we met.”

He recalled Calypso's cruel fate— all of her unrequited loves, he recalled her misery, her yearning, the agitation of her heart, the shackles of her fears; her lonesome heart.

He is still haunted by your memories, of you calling him the locksmith of your caged heart, of you calling after him as you tore the pearl necklace off your neck. He is still haunted by your gasping breaths, your tear filled eyes, your silvery tragic voice as you asked him to come back to you, even if it takes years.

Vernon sinks in the arm-chair, his fugacious compassion nowhere to be seen as he twirled your earring between his fingers— the earring you had lost, the other half of the very pair.

He wonders if you met a hero after all these years. He wonders if can go back to the night you met, and redo everything from the scratch. He wonders if you— or anyone, could love an aimless and a simple man.

Maybe your presence was the only tethering cashmere thread in his yarn of fate.

take me back, to the night we met.

the end.

#kpop #kflixnet #caratsland #kpop angst #caratlibrary #vernon #vernon angst #vernon chwe #hansol vernon chwe #vernon x reader #chwe hansol #hansol #seventeen angst #kpop bg #seventeen #svt #svt angst #vernon svt #kpop seventeen #kpop svt #Spotify

[scarqn]

Stranger || Vernon

Vernon x f!reader

Genre:fluff, nonidol!vernon, smau

Summary: you come home from a vacation to a random stranger in your bed, or maybe he isn't so much of a stranger after all...

Warnings: swearing (mostly f!reader lol sos), a lil but of angst & mental health mentions, hella serious anger issues(f! reader), mentions of sexual activity, very much kissing, mentions of food/pics of food:) TALK ABOUT CAR CRASH‼️

A/N: HEY sorry I’ve been gone all week I’m back at school and it’s exam time especially next week so I might be even more inactive (only since I wanna do good on these exams for the bigger ones) but I’ll try myself best. But I’ve always been away this week bc I’ve had no motivation at all and it’s been pretty tuff for me in general. But I hope I can do better in the future. So please forgive me for the long wait for part 4🙏🏼😰 anyways hope you enjoy❤️

Vernon makes his way to your bedroom, he wants to ask about your knee and what happened, but he feels like it may be a sensitive topic to you. So, he just asks if you needed anything else be he heads out. “No I’m okay, thank you though, it means a lot.” You reply. He nods and you get suspicious that he wants to ask you something else.

He slightly glances to your knee and now you know he’s wanting to ask what happened. “I was in an accident.” You say. Vernons head jerks up and he mutters out a single, “Oh.” It was unexpected, he didn’t know, “I’m sorry, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want.” He’s genuine, that’s what you like the most about him. He’s honest and kind and somehow doesn’t make small things into bigger things.

“No it’s okay, I can talk about it. I ended up tearing my ACL severely. I almost lost my ability to walk, I try my best to be as careful and even though I’ve been cleared for weeks now, I dont it just stresses me out. I hit my knee and I immediately think of the worst thing possible.” You let out a small chuckle at the end.

“It happened in the states, I was staying with my mom for a little. For about three weeks, then me and my brother got into an accident after I picked him up from the gym. My mom didn’t want me to come back to Korea until I was cleared. That’s why I was gone for so long and the only people know is Mingyu and Minghao and well, now you.”

“Oh,” it’s the only thing Vernon seems to let out, he’s shocked and doesn’t know what to say. “Are you okay?” He asks, you simply nod and say, “Yes, no one was killed. My brother did experience a little bit of brain damage but he’s okay now. And so am I so please don’t worry about me. I had enough of that when it came to Mingyu and Hao.” You laugh.

“Well aslong as you’re okay, then so am I. I’m glad no deaths happened. I’m glad you’re okay, and your brother I don’t know.” You nudge he shoulder softly.

“Mingyu was right about you being a big softy on the inside.” You joke, Vernon’s raises and eyebrow, “Mingyu said that? What else did he say about me?”

“Nothing bad, just a few things he thought I’d need to know before I do something stupid like kicking you out.” You shrug your shoulders. Vernon nods, “Well, I need to get going to I’ll see you later.”

“Okay, I’ll make something when you get back.” You smile at him, he returns the smile and you both bid goodbyes and he leaves.

Once Vernon leaves, you find yourself letting out a big sigh you did notice you were keeping in. At least he now knows what happened to you. You did feel like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders when you told him what happened. Even thought you and your brother are okay, it’s still a sensitive topic. You couldn’t drive for almost 4 months because you was scared. Therapy helped you over coke that though.

“Right,” you say to yourself, “Time for the gym.”

AN: I actually like this one😭🙏🏼

Tags: @dkswife @writingbarnes

(Lmk if you wanna be tagged👊🏻)

#seventeen #chwe hansol #svt #vernon #svtsource #hansol vernon chwe #vernon svt #vernon fic #vernon x reader #vernon fluff #vernon angst #vernon x you #vernon smau #seventeen smau #seventeen fluff #seventeen x y/n #seventeen fanfic #seventeen x reader #kim mingyu #xu minghao