#chronic illness tw

[alicewritingstories]

Whumptober Prompt Fills Part 9: Breath

~Also on AO3~

No. 15: “I don’t need you to help me I can handle things myself.” | Makeshift Bandages | Suppressed Suffering | “I’m fine.”

No. 24: “I’ve got a head full of chemicals; mouth full of ridicule.” | Goodbye Note | Neglect | “I thought they were with you.”

No. 31: “I thought that I was getting better.” | Emptiness | Setbacks | “Take it easy.”

Warning: Brief mention of alcohol use, chronic cardiac and respiratory issues, internalized ableism

Central character(s): Sky, Twilight

As the stars were coming out and the last echoes of the Picori Festival's fireworks display were fading away, the Chain started to drift back together at their chosen campsite in the forest. Tomorrow they would travel on to visit Four's grandfather - Four had gone on ahead with his father to give him some time with his family before his other family descended on them - but tonight would be spent under the stars as usual.

The chatter among the little group was lively as they compared their experiences. Warriors was flushed and slightly giggly, relaxed after the entire bottle of something alcoholic that he'd drunk during the fireworks. Wind, meanwhile, couldn't stop showing off the beautifully-crafted knife he'd won, tripping over his words as he admired it and related his triumph in a quoits-throwing contest.

Twilight heard Legend drop the good-natured observation in Warriors' ear that the young hero really shouldn't have been allowed to join contests alongside ordinary children, but he agreed as Warriors said sleepily that it was good to see Wind act like a child for once.

"What did you do with Sky, Twilight?" asked Wild suddenly, looking up from where he was laying out ingredients for dinner.

Twilight looked at him in confusion. "Me?" he asked and looked over at Time, who was also looking confused.

"I thought Sky was with you, Wild," said Time. "I was about to ask you the same question."

Twilight blinked. "I thought he was with you," he said. "Didn't you go looking for souvenirs for Malon and Sun?"

Time shook his head. "I thought he was going around the food stands with Wild."

"I didn't see him after we separated," said Wild, sitting back on his heels. "I thought he went to watch the horse races with Twilight."

Out of all their Hyrules, Four's was one of the safest, but that didn't mean a missing hero was something to be ignored. Time eased back to his feet with a soft groan and started putting his just-removed armor back on, saying, "He's probably fine, but let's go and check. Wind, Twilight, and Legend, check north, south, and east respectively; I'll take the west. Return in an hour even if you haven't found anything. Hyrule and Wild, stay here and finish setting up camp."

"Shall I check the elixir supply?" asked Wild seriously.

"I hope we won't need healing, but it's worth knowing. Likewise, Warriors, I hope we won't need you to be sober." Time chuckled as Warriors shot him an unfocussed look that he probably intended to be irritated. The remark lightened the anxiety that had been starting to thread through the air, but didn't take it away entirely and as Twilight set out into the darkening forest, heading for the south side of the town, he could feel it twisting somewhere in his gut. He was sure Sky hadn't followed him when he set out through the busy streets, following the sound of hoofbeats and cheering. He really thought he'd heard the other hylian agreeing when Time had said he was going to find a gift for Malon.

What if he'd been wrong and something had happened to Sky when he was separated from the group? How long had he been missing?

Twilight tried to push down the worry. If one of them was going to disappear for a few hours, this was one of the safer places for it to happen. Most likely they'd find that Sky had simply lost track of time or forgotten the rendezvous.

It wasn't like him to have forgotten, but it wasn't impossible in all the noise and excitement of the festival.

And was it more or less likely than that something had happened? There had been no sign of so much as a keese anywhere near the town, but it wouldn't be the first time a member of the Chain, taken unawares, had fallen victim to hylian enemies of one of his brothers. Four had as many enemies as any of them with the exception of Wild and Warriors, who had significantly more.

Twilight gritted his teeth. A crowded festival… someone would have noticed the fight Sky would have put up if attacked.

He was sure he'd gone alone to look at the horses.

He was sure Sky hadn't come with him.

He was sure that if something had happened it hadn't happened right behind him.

His thoughts were interrupted as he caught a familiar smell on the breeze and saw something white gleaming in the forest ahead. Perfume and a white sailcloth. With a gasp of relief, he broke into a jog, calling, "Sky!" as he saw the figure of his brother in the dim light, sitting on a tree stump, leaning his elbows on his knees.

Sky looked up and waved as Twilight heard the wheeze on his breath and realized how fast he was breathing.

"Sky," he said more seriously, crouching beside him. "Are you OK?"

Sky nodded, his hand to his chest, the wheeze more pronounced as he sat upright. "Fine. Sorry, I… know I'm… late."

He couldn't even make it through a sentence without losing breath.

"Are you hurt?"

"No. I'm fine. This happens… sometimes. The damp… makes it worse." Sky forced a grin. "And I made… the mistake… of dancing."

"I didn't know you danced," said Twilight.

"I love dancing." Sky coughed and wheezed. "Unfortunately. Used to be… easier."

Twilight nodded. He wasn't sure what was going on, but said, "Do you need anything?"

"Just to rest." Sky shook his head. Twilight thought he looked pale, but as he propped himself on his knees again his breath seemed to come a little easier.

"OK. It'll be a bit before anyone really worries, so take it easy."

Sky nodded, laying a hand on his chest and wincing. "I thought… I was handling… it. It was fun… to dance again. Even… alone."

"Hey, take it easy. You don't have to make excuses to me and you've not got the breath for much talking, so just say what you have to."

Sky nodded.

Twilight patted his shoulder. "Is this… a new problem?"

"Since… my adventure. Well… mostly."

"OK, tell me the rest later." But he couldn't help asking, "Is this why you can't run as fast or far as the rest of us?"

Sky nodded.

"Why don't you tell anyone that?"

"I'd rather be… made fun of… than treated… like I'm broken."

Twilight started to argue, but remembered he was supposed to be calming Sky down and letting him catch his breath.

Slowly, Sky's breathing steadied and quietened. He sat up and pressed two fingers to the pulse point in his own throat, then nodded.

"OK, I'm all right now," he said. "Let's go."

Still, when Twilight offered him an arm he accepted it to get up.

"You can tell them you found me asleep somewhere," he said with a small smile as they started walking.

"I'll tell them no such thing," said Twilight. "Nobody acts like Time is broken. Nobody's going to think less of you because sometimes you can't breathe right."

Sky shook his head. "I can manage. There's a reason you've not seen me that bad before. But if everyone knows my lungs are always heavy and my heart doesn't beat properly any more…"

"We already know you can't run as far or as fast. What do you think will change from knowing why?"

Sky scowled at the ground.

"If you really want, we can still tease you about being slow and sleepy, but -"

Sky jutted his chin proudly. "But you'll keep a better eye on me to make sure I'm OK? Keep a wing over me in case I fall?"

"Just like with Four when it's cold."

That hit home. Sky sighed, bowing his head. Twilight heard the last of the wheeze.

He put an arm around his shoulders. "Listen, you don't have to tell anyone anything you don't want to, but I'm not lying for you and I think you should tell the truth. Nobody thinks less of you for having scars from your adventure, any more than they do of Wild or… or any of us. It doesn't matter that yours aren't on the outside. Nobody will think you're broken or useless or anything else."

Sky was silent for a long moment, then he said, "I'll think about it."

Twilight hugged him gently and they walked on.

#whumptober2023 #no.15 #I'm fine #no.24 #I thought they were with you #no.31 #Take it easy #linked universe #fic #alcohol mention tw #chronic illness tw #internalized ableism tw #my fanfic #linked universe whump #lu twilight #lu sky

[exquisitexagony]

continued from (x) with @miidnighters

Samuel's head was buried against their knees, held close to their small frame. They looked so small and weak this way, their entire being tense, curled up in the corner of their bedroom. Their fingernails clawed at their legs through their jeans, picking at the fabric roughly, which was notably a lot better than picking at their skin. When the other entered the room, Sam barely even moved to look up. His voice was the only thing that seemed to cut through their consciousness.

A sharp breath as he lifted his head for a moment, curls hanging in front of his tear-stained face. He was glad in this moment that the other could not see him--his pink cheeks, puffy eyes, red-tipped nose...He also didn't have a shirt on, which would have been equally as embarrassing had the other been able to tell. His room was also a disaster, littered with clutter and trash, empty plates he had been too tired to take to the kitchen. He had even gone so far as to put black fabric over the windows to keep it as pitch-dark as possible. A soft sniffle, trying to keep quiet so that Flynn couldn't hear that he had been crying.

"No," he mumbled in response to Flynn's question. He wasn't even concerned with how Flynn had found him or how he had even known the light was off--as quick as it crossed its mind it had left him. Half-heartedly xe rubbed at xyr eyes to try and at least clear xyr vision a bit, though xyr hair was skewing that either way. His next words came out dryly, not offended nor excited, just a simple question punctuated by another wet sniffle.

"What're you doing here?"

He had to guess it had something to do with the fact that he had completely disappeared off the face of the planet for the last week or so. No texts, no calls...His voicemail box was already full since he had always been bad at deleting messages. Perhaps the other was worried, but at the moment Sam wasn't even thinking about that possibility.

#miidnighters #agoraphobia tw #anxiety tw #chronic illness tw

[system404singletnotfound]

My chronically ill friends, do you all have any advice for dealing with nausea? I’m nauseous every morning, and tonight I’m going through a bad patch of it.

-Lake

#-Lake #chronic illness tw #tw chronic illness #chronic illness #pots syndrome #nauseous #nausea #asking for advice

[jesstasticvoyage]

Been stressing since this afternoon. My mom is in the hospital. She’s staying overnight so they can monitor her sodium and creatine as they’re at concerning levels. We live in separate cities so I can’t be there with her. I was able to distract myself for a few hours with Sam and the Golden Globes. But now that’s quieted I’m having a tough time sleeping. Which isn’t good because I have a stressful workday ahead of me. 😔

I hope my mom bounces back from this. I’m actually really scared…

#jess speaks #medical tw #hospitals tw #health issues tw #chronic illness tw #tw #idk what else to tag this as #sorry for sharing but im laying here with my thought :(

[stevenose]

Wait are you sick? (Saw the zofran post)

well i’m always sick but my new medicine is making it a lot worse :( hence the zofran. but i had a script for zofran for a few years that eventually stopped getting filled so im super happy to have it again as someone w daily debilitating nausea 🫶🏻

#thank u for checking on me! #stevenose posts #chronic illness tw

[macaulaymontgomery]

10. does your muse get sick often? what’s their go-to remedies?

"I was sick all the time as a kid -- practically spent ages six to nine locked in a hospital bed on dialysis -- so I try to keep myself in fighting form (vitamin gummies and all that). I do tend to develop a bitch of a cold every time I cross the Atlantic. Something about being in recycled air for that long always fucks me up. It's not all bad, though -- I'm a slut for soup and tea, so it all works out."

#answered #meme day. #chronic illness tw

[rpmemes-galore]

pros of chronic pain/illness/fatigue: idk like you get to nap a little more sometimes, I guess?

Cons: oh god end me this is suffering I hate this my body hurts everything hurts I can't do anything I can't live my life I just want one single day without pain and I can't keep my eyes open even tho I just woke up and my body feels so heavy there's things I need to be doing and I can't bc my body doesn't work so everyone's mad at me I hate this I hate every second of this lord in freaking heaven let me have one healthy day I beg of you

#Not a meme #chronic illness #Chronic illness tw #Health tw #Negativity tw #venting tw #This is where I've been at for the past week of a really bad flare-up #So yeah. In case y'all are wondering why I haven't been here much. This is why #I just wanna wake up and feel .... Not in pain. And not exhausted. Ya feel? #Disability #Hope y'all are taking care. I'll be back when I can. I just. Cannot right now

[fetteredhope]

—— ( geraldine viswanathan. cis woman, she/her. ) recently seen serving at diner 54: enter ROBIN ELODIE SHRIKE. twenty-eight years old & a capricorn, usually observed in graphic t-shirts, leather jackets, and oversized cargos ; robin is a devotion local known within their circle as COMPOSED + NURTURING, a perpetual hum of me by the 1975 on salted mouth. something of the AFFECTLESS + FICKLE follows, regardless … something to do with working dead end jobs, because who really cares in the end, perhaps ? strange, what a HUMAN can get up to. they’ve been heard waxing lyrical about a dream they had recently, a strange tale of a familiar laugh, but there’s an echo that leaves the room feeling cold. it’s hollow and forced, but she’ll take what she can get. pay no mind to fanciful star - gazing, though: rather, mind the tangible. focus on rolling her eyes at her favourite twinks despite how much she actually loves them, flipping off customers the second they try it with her, dark lipstick; dark eyeshadow; dark attire. / committed to legend by bri, twenty6, they/she, est.

below are mentions of chronic illness & hospitalization!

stats.

name: robin elodie shrike.

nickname: rob, robby.

age: twenty eight.

gender identity: cis woman.

pronouns: she/her.

sexuality: lesbian.

birthday: january 15, 1995.

star sign: capricorn.

myer-briggs: intp.

occupation: waitress at diner 54.

place of birth: devotion, south of tene.

last played on spotify: until the night turns by lord huron.

general disposition: indifferent and judgmental.

background.

the youngest of two older brothers, robin came into the world loudly and aggressively, and it was merely a precursor to how she’d always read

life growing up wasn’t horrible, her parents were loving and their family had money - mum being the owner of a massive publishing company and dad being a big name editor, also the owners of shrike point light library

however it felt as if they were never satisfied, always pushing for more even when their kids were at the top of their classes and heavily involved in as many extracurriculars as they could

it eventually mottled her relationship with her brothers - she was always close with the oldest shrike kid josef, but malcolm had a bad case of middle child syndrome and distanced himself entirely, from their parents and definitely from josef, who was the best of them in their parents eyes

robin herself didn’t purposely act out - she just stopped caring……… academics to her came with ease, she was lucky to be naturally very smart, but she felt no desire to ever challenge herself in her extracurriculars and classes the way her parents wanted her to

she graduated high school and… that was basically it, she never tried to go to university, wrinkled her nose at the idea of taking community college classes as a pass time, she was just done and though her parents hated it, she was free of their judgment

she’s been working at diner 54 for 10 years now - while robin’s free, she feels the opposite of stuck; she loves devotion and plans on staying there for as long as she lives, with her rag tag somewhat dysfunctional group of friends she’s had since she was little

thought it felt like nothing was happening for her, robin didn’t mind it at all; she would give anything to go back to those days before josef fell incredibly sick - a lung infection that resulted in a transplant, which seemed like the worst of it, until his body began to reject the transplant and he’s been in hospital ever since

details.

when she’s not at work, robin’s either in a dingy bar with her friends or at the hospital visiting josef - she has her own cot permanently left in his room for when she has to serve late into the night and visiting hours are technically over

a big reader!!!! ig it runs in the family fr

the epitome of grunge/punk kid

is secretly quite loving and she does make it known with friends but she’s openly sneered in customers faces before if they were rude to her or even bc she thought their dinner orders were Ass

as a human she’s incredibly intrigued and fascinated with the devotion creatures, especially witches of which a lot of her friends are

she can be a bit selfish in her requests and demands sometimes but she just wants to watch people use their powers its cool ok.

is the lesbian mom to her fav twinks around town that she protects like they’re her own children

connections.

needs roommates pls, at least 2!!!

bffs/childhood friends

ppl who work at diner 54 with her!!

someone added to her twink collection :) 

exes!! that ended on good and bad terms

hook ups/fwbs

someone she knows thru her brothers/grew up with them/family friends etc.

anything n everything teehee

#devotion.intro #chronic illness tw #hospitalization tw

[feliz-navidad]

you ever just wish someone would write a fic about your blorbo having IBS or Chron's disease because you just need someone to understand the pain of random days where literally any food on earth makes you feel so sick you loose your appetite and you just lay on the floor wishing you could be squished into the ground or is it just me

#chronic illness #chron's disease #ibs #chronic illness tw #tw chronic illness #tw ibs #ibs tw #chron's disease tw #tw chronic pain

[angerworn]

------hello new friends. until i get my carrd up and running (ha) there are a few names you're gonna see that are important to morgan's canon. and here they are-

alex sanders (b.en b.arnes) - morgan's older brother. arguably the most important person in her life. while he was the golden child of the family, morgan was never jealous of him. their bond was special, and she loves him with everything she can. killed while hunting a witch, which absolutely broke morgan. she still sees his ghost, though it's up in the air whether or not it's his ghost or her guilty conscience.

eli van acker (m.ichiel h.uisman) - alex's hunting partner. hunters partner for life much in the way that doves and swans mate for life. their partners are their other halves, the balance to match one-another's weaknesses and fill them out. eli was adopted into the sanders family when his parents were killed - his father being the partner of morgan and alex's own. he was treated as a son, and initially as a brother to morgan ... but she fell in love with him. he was always in love with her as well, but the timing was never right. eventually morgan came to outwardly blame eli for the death of alex, and eli was severely wounded by a werewolf on a solo hunt a short time later. he succumbed to his wounds, and morgan lives with the guilt of never having shared her true feelings for him over all her years of knowing him ---that he died believing she hated him.

kevin sanders (m.ichael d.ouglas) - morgan's father. ill with advanced parkinson's. came out of retirement to hunt with morgan, who never had a partner, many years ago. lost his wife before his son to a chronic illness. being taken care of my morgan, currently. does not have a long prognosis. gentle at heart, and a fair father.

lila sanders (g.eena d.avis) - morgan's mother. only wanted what was best for her daughter, but never wanted her to be a hunter. passed from a chronic illness six months before alex was killed.

margot (j.anet m.ontgomery) - the woman eli spent most of his life with. just a regular human, who knew very little about the hunting life. believed eli's d.epression could be cured by just being happy.

#「 about 」 — ❛ dressed in metal٬ dressed in rain. ❜ #depression tw #tw depression #death tw #tw death #chronic illness tw #tw chronic illness

[merrock]

CHARACTER INFORMATION

face claim: Ana De Armas

full name: Alma Cardozo 

nickname(s) / goes by: Alma, Ally (less frequent)

pronouns & gender: She/Her, Cis-Female

sexuality: Heterosexual 

birth date: February 23, 1985

birth place: Merrock, Maine

arrival to merrock: Originally a local but moved away in 2013/14ish, came back just this year 2023

housing: Staying in the rural countryside

occupation: Poet/Author 

work place: NA.

family: Tommy Maddox (Ex-Husband), Gloria Cardozo (Mother, Deceased), Héctor Cardozo (Father, Alive but in critical care in hospital), Mateo (Son, aged: 9 years old)

relationship status: Single

PERSONALITY

Alma is an incredibly warm and affable person and always has been, due to her own struggles growing up she always wants to make people feel at ease and welcome. As a child/teenager she was incredibly guarded but as an adult, and since the publication of her first poetry collection, the walls have come down somewhat, she’s open about her past but slightly more guarded about her present. She’s one of those people that you spill your guts to because she’s so nurturing and good at listening but then when you look back at your conversations you realize she actually shared very little about herself. As a mother she is incredibly protective of her son, she’s not mean or violent in most circumstances but she will go to the ends of the earth to protect her little miracle both from physical and emotional harm. Due to her upbringing Alma tries to avoid confrontation whenever possible, raised voices are still triggering for her to this day. She does have a dark side due to her not being fully healed from her past, she tends to get into deep and dark moods occasionally which can last anywhere from a couple hours to a couple weeks or months. She does her best to hide this.

WRITTEN BY: Ren (she/her, they/them), pst.

BACKGROUND / BIO

triggering / sensitive content: abuse (physical and emotional), mentions of struggles conceiving, mentions of miscarriage, alcoholism, addiction, illness, chronic illness

Alma Cardozo is something of a famous name in Merrock and not just because she went on to become a bestselling Poet/Author.

Alma was born and raised in Merrock, born to parents who had no business bringing a child into the world. Sure, from the outside they may have had some of the necessary prerequisites: they were doing okay financially, they owned their own home, they were married but finances can change and there are much more important things to consider. Growing up Alma knew that her family was different from others, she knew that in other families fathers didn’t drink until they were violent and that mothers weren’t emotionally neglectful and dependent on their children. It was one of those small town open secrets that thrive in places like Merrock, all anyone had to do was look closely at the family to know what was going on inside the walls of the house but no one ever wanted to look. Alma doesn’t blame them, she wouldn’t have wanted to know either. It made it hard to connect with other people and as a child/teenager she was a fairly guarded person, well liked and nice and all that but people found they didn’t actually know much about Alma beyond what she let show on the surface. 

That all changed the day she met Tommy Maddox, of course she’d been aware of him for some time before that, Merrock being a small town and all, but the day those two met it was like something just…clicked. They started off as friends, two souls who perhaps sensed that they had more in common than they let on. It seemed strange to people at first, Alma was warm and extroverted while Tommy had the tendency to be more gruff and introverted but people soon began remarking on how well they complimented each other. Each bringing out sides of the other that weren’t normally there, helping to soften edges and bring them out of their shells. Alma can pinpoint the exact moment that she fell in love with Tommy, like really head over heels in love with him because maybe if she took a minute to think about it she’d loved him at least a little bit even in those early days but her low self esteem had kept those feelings under wraps even from her. Her father had just finished one of his drunken rages, she was in the kitchen alone surrounded by broken ceramic and glass. Call it god, the universe, whatever you want but for some reason that day Tommy had decided to stop in unexpectedly. He found her there, sitting on the kitchen floor. Scared, hurt, pathetic. He didn’t look away. When her father made his way back into the kitchen and Alma had told him “Go, you need to go!” He hadn’t left her. Like most abusers her father was a coward and backed down when Tommy made it clear that he was not going to let anything else happen. Her father left them alone in that kitchen and it was then that they had their first real deep talk, when Alma had calmed down was the first time Tommy kissed her. It was the first time she’d ever been in love, really and truly in love. 

The trouble wouldn’t begin until years later after they were married, they both had clear visions of what they wanted for their life as a married couple. They wanted a family, a real family filled with the love and stability that both of them had lacked growing up. It sounded easy enough, both of them committed to the same goal, but alas it was not meant to be. They tried and tried and tried, every time they failed it got just a little bit harder to handle until eventually Tommy turned to the bottle and Alma, beginning to see traces of her father, began to pull away from fear left over from her past trauma. Her friends, in an attempt to help, decided that they were going to take her on a girls night out in the nearest city, get her mind off of everything. It was well intentioned but ill advised, Alma was lonely and vulnerable and looking for an escape that not even books were providing her any more. It was on this night out that she ended up cheating on Tommy, a combination of drinks and loneliness leading to the encounter. Filled with guilt she confessed it to Tommy almost as soon as she got back, there were tears and pleading and assurances that it hadn’t meant anything and that she regretted it. Two broken people but two people still in love, they decided to separate for a time in order to work out whatever it was they both needed to work out. In hindsight Alma wonders if that was a mistake, if trying to do things separately when both were already feeling a distance was the right move but it’s what they chose. 

In total they were separated for 6 months, being cut off from the one person that she felt ever truly understood her and vice versa was torture but she considered it her penance for her mistake. When they reunited she was so hopeful, Tommy had got his drinking back under control and she had begun seeing a therapist to confront her own issues that had led to the infidelity, but sadly it was not to be. Tommy fell back into drinking, she stopped going to the therapist. They were still unable to conceive despite Alma reading every book and study on infertility and taking every recommended supplement. Eventually she began to feel that Tommy just stopped trying, he was forgetting Doctors appointments, anniversaries, birthdays. He was drinking or sleeping his days away. That feeling of isolation came back only this time she realized she wasn’t alone, Tommy's best friend was right there alongside her trying his best to help his friend and seeming to suffer just as much when nothing seemed to be helping. It started out slowly, the mutual pain of seeing someone they loved suffer and feeling unable to help let them grow closer. They began confiding in each other, supporting each other, being there for each other. He brought her to the hospital when she miscarried the pregnancy that she hadn’t even told Tommy about for fear that that very thing would happen, he held her while she cried and mourned the loss of the baby. They never intended to fall in love but they did. Perhaps Alma should have left then, perhaps less damage would have been done had they admitted it when it first started instead of carrying on a years long affair. It’s always been abundantly clear how stupid the excuse “we didn’t tell you because we didn’t want to hurt you” was to Alma, maybe that had been part of it for her but another part of it was that she still loved Tommy. Even through it all. 

Tommy ended up catching her and her lover together, this marked the end of their marriage but it also marked the end of the friendship between Tommy and her lover. Word spread quickly throughout the small town and Alma came to the decision that Merrock was no longer a place she wanted to be, she needed to go somewhere away from all that pain both past and present. Her and her lover left Merrock together having come to the decision that they were going to make a go of it and see what it could be now that it could be a real relationship. In a twist of irony so great that it almost made Alma believe in God, because who else could have come up with something this fucked up, she ended up finding out she was pregnant during the divorce, after sitting down and running and then re-running the numbers the probable dates of conception were such that it could have either been Tommys or her lovers child. She kept it a secret up until she had hit what many consider to be the safe point of the 12 week rule, after she hit that point and had been assured by her Doctor that there was nothing to indicate that this baby would not carry to term. There were mixed emotions, this had been all she had been wanting for years and she was excited but there was still fear and more than a little guilt, in an attempt to lessen that guilt she let her partner know that there was a chance it could be Tommys. He wanted to tell Tommy but she didn’t, aware that since everything had happened Tommy was spiraling even further than he had previously. It wasn’t worth the risk on just the chance that it might be Tommys, she didn’t want to complicate his life any more than she already had but she also didn’t want her potential child to be exposed to Tommys current lifestyle. The “maybe” of the whole thing lasted up until her son was born, it seems ridiculous to say but the second she saw her son for the first time there was no doubt in her mind who the father was. Mateo was the spitting image of his father, his resemblance to Tommy has only gotten more and more apparent as he ages. Her partner wasn’t bothered knowing that Mateo wasn’t biologically his and still acts as a father to him even though Alma and him ultimately broke up. They were together for the first 4 years of Mateos life but ended up breaking up, the guilt that they both felt as to how the relationship had started ended up getting the best of them. They loved each other but there was just too much there, too much guilt and pain and what if’s and should haves. Despite the breakup her and her partner remained amicable, no love was lost between them and they wanted to show a healthy co-parent relationship for Teo. Her former partner still believes that Tommy should know about Teo, especially as he seemed to be doing better with his drinking but that that was an idea that Alma quickly shut down. He holds some resentment for the way she chose to do that, choosing to threaten him with only seeing Teo on certain holidays and birthdays. 

Alma had always written poetry ever since she was young but in the after effects of the divorce and her pregnancy she felt such overwhelming and conflicting emotion that she found it impossible not to write, during her pregnancy she penned her first ever true collection of poetry. It was raw, it was honest, full of self hatred, resentment, vulnerability, love, grief. It was her life and her soul and her heart laid bare. She was terrified but she was done with hiding, done with lying. Perhaps it was part of her nesting process, needing to get all the past out of the way so that she could move into her present. Whatever the reason she began to release them throughout her pregnancy and eventually developed a following online, this led to a publishing house reaching out to her and the rest is history. It went on to be a bestseller, it turns out there were more people who could understand what Alma was going through then she thought. The dedication in her first poetry collection entitled “To Become a Villain” reads as follows: “So here it is, the whole truth laid out. The good, the ugly, the unforgivable. I wrote this for you, the love of my life. I hope one day this helps you understand…”  There is no name given for that dedication, there has been a heated debate between her readers for years on whether the dedication is meant for her former husband or her lover. Alma has never weighed in on the debate, knowing that revealing the truth would mean the possibility of Tommy learning about his son which is not a risk she’s willing to take. Since publishing her first work things have only gotten better, she’s since released one or two fiction novels and a few other poetry collections as well. 

Alma had only been back to Merrock once since she left, a few years after Teo’s birth her mother died and Alma having been the only child, as well as the only competent one between her and her father, it was up to her to arrange the funeral. She managed to plan most of it from a distance but of course when the day of the funeral came she was there in person, her and her parents had been estranged for years but the death of her mother hit Alma harder than she thought it would. The death of her mother meant the death of her small, naïve, stupid little hope that maybe one day they’d be able to reconnect. Her father didn’t cry, that’s what she remembers most about her mothers funeral. He just stood there, eyes bloodshot but not from any tears that had fallen in private. He was drunk…or hungover, maybe both. He looked frailer than she remembered, like maybe if she hit him he’d actually go down and she could repay every single bruise and wound he’d given her until he lay in the same hole as her mother. It was what he deserved, it was not what she gave. He couldn’t even look at her when she placed a gentle hand on his arm, the closest she could get to comforting him. She thinks it felt better than hitting him would have, thinks it hurt him more that she was gentle with him even after everything. He had not turned her into a cruel person, he had lost. She didn’t hang around town long after the funeral, she did stop in to see Tommy. He was drunk, she cried. She wonders if he remembers but doubts it.

Now she’s back in town again and for what will eventually be a similar reason she imagines to the first time, she received the call late one night that her father had been admitted to the hospital. Acute Liver Failure. The drinking had finally caught up to him. He’s still alive but barely, apparently he’d been in liver failure for some time and was now in what is referred to as “end stage liver disease” in the palliative care unit of the hospital in Merrock. She didn’t cry when she got the phone call, she didn’t cry as she packed some of her and Teo’s things and took off for her hometown, didn’t even cry when she called her former lover and explained vaguely what was happening and that she and Teo needed to stay with him temporarily. Part of her wonders if she’ll ever actually cry over her father or if she’d hit some sort of limit back when she was living in his house, part of her feels like a monster for it. Whatever her feelings, fears, and hesitations she’s back in town though she’s unsure of how long she’ll be staying.

#merrockbio #almacardozo #abuse tw #physical abuse tw #emotional abuse tw #pregnancy tw #miscarriage tw #conception troubles tw #alcoholism tw #addiction tw #illness tw #chronic illness tw

[soulrph]

can you do a meme/prompt list about chronic illness, pain, or even terminal illness? i know it's a potentially triggering & heavy subject but it's something that i'm dealing with and i find it really, really, really cathartic to write those sort of subjects out. if you're uncomfortable with that sort of thing, i totally get it & understand! i figured i should just ask <3

hi my love!! i want to start off by saying that i'm absolutely good to go to take on the chronic illness/pain angle, but i would like to take my time with it and do some research so that i can at least try and make it respectful and accurate, you know? but i'm not leaving you with nothing! an absolutely FANTASTIC meme maker, @rpmemes-galore made a list of prompts for that purpose, and i'm going to pop them under the readmore for you to use. again, i'm not saying no!! i'm just saying that i'd feel much happier giving ye a list of memes that i'm knowledgeable of and able to say "yes, this seems accurate to me, i researched it through many reputable sources and perspectives" you know?

thank you for the request, and for the space to decline it! i completely understand the catharsis in writing out these subjects, and that's why we're here, so we can have that experience in a safe zone. i'm truly so sorry that you're dealing with such a heavy situation, and i hope that these prompts, and the prompts i'll eventually post, will offer you the catharsis you're searching for.

i wish you all the best, and all the love i can give.

blue.

LINK TO CHRONIC PAIN PROMPTS.

#ooc. #cinnanon roll. #illness tw #chronic illness tw #pain tw #chronic pain tw #terminal illness tw #i'll keep searching for more memes like that one! #but i think it's a very under-explored area for prompts #so that's also a big part of the reason why i'd be researching it indepth beforehand #i have fortunately very limited experiences with this matter #and i want to give you a list that'll be respectful and accurate

[ghcstinthewvlls]

❀ *◦ lee siyeon. non-binary. they/them. demiromantic pansexual. ⇝ hey, isn’t that athena pallas-dexicos / mae dal-nim? i think that the thirty-one year old from meteora, greece works as an art consultant for the hanging arts museum & paranormal investigator, but outside of that people describe them as leather jackets over victorian lace, the scent of petrichor and the forest floor, burgundy lips curled in surprisingly warm smiles, ouija boards on the living room table and altars to the old gods, ripped denim and platform combat boots. i hear they are mercurial & callous, but they are also known to be inquisitive & warm hearted. consider giving them a visit at their home in seal harbor apartments and get to know why they’re called the moonchild.

( and then we have this sweet baby angel demon child )

triggers: abuse, chronic illness, mental illness, self harm

𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓲 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀 𝓲 𝓬𝓪𝓷 𝓫𝓮 𝓭𝓻𝓪𝓶𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓬

full name: athena circe tamar pallas-dexicos

birth name: mae dal-nim

nicknames: thena, athie

age: 31

dob: february 14, 1992

birthplace: mokpo-si, south korea

hometown: meteora, greece

occupation: art consultant for the hanging arts museum & paranormal investigator

gender: non-binary

pronouns: they/them preferred, she/her acceptable for close friends and family

sexuality: demiromantic pansexual

big three: aquarius sun, aries moon, cancer rising

𝓲 𝓶𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽 𝓰𝓸 𝓽𝓸 𝔀𝓪𝓻 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓿𝓮𝓷

height: 4’11”

weight: 102 lbs

hair color: naturally black, typically rocks an electric blue balayage

eye color: grey

build: petite and slender

tattoos: floral sleeve including belladonna, lily-of-the-valley, lavender, and roses on their right arm; ufo behind their left ear; quote as above / so below along their left shoulder

piercings: four in each lobe; right ear industrial; septum; medusa; dermal in between their clavicles

distinguishable marks: faded self-harm scars located on the insides of their wrists and legs; near crescent moon shaped birthmark on the back of their right thigh

aesthetic: leather jackets over lace, the scent of petrichor and the forest floor, burgundy lips curled in surprisingly warm smiles, ouija boards on the living room table and altars to the old gods, roses in an empty jack daniels bottle instead of a vase, dark oak furniture that tells stories of former owners and times gone by, tea leaves on saucers next to grimoires

𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓲 𝓬𝓪𝓷'𝓽 𝓱𝓮𝓵𝓹 𝓫𝓾𝓽 𝓯𝓮𝓮𝓵 𝓪 𝔀𝓪𝔂

born in south korea, raised in meteora, greece before being relocated to manchester england, with their siblings fostered and later adopted internationally

second oldest quadruplet

speaks greek, portuguese, hebrew, korean, english, and bsl

english is their fifth language, though, so some things get stuck in translation sometimes

suffered munchausen by proxy syndrome as a child while also having their insulin withheld from them

still experiences after effects

this wasn't the only such abuse athena would experience growing up, nor the worst any of the siblings suffered by a longshot

they’ve got much of the physical abuse blocked out as a coping mechanism

type I diabetic; takes insulin injections

athena’s been seeing and speaking to spirits since they were a child

clinically diagnosed with adhd, manic depression, c-ptsd

they have all sorts of plants and herbs growing in their home, and a small, carefully cultivated poison garden on their balcony

athena collects antique oddities as a hobby

witchcraft is another long cultivated hobby

firmly believes that anything is possible

while demiromantic, athena is a sucker for tear jerker romance movies and a hopeless romantic at heart

goth scream queen in demonias

chaos incarnate

#( ⁱᵗ'ˢ ᵇᵉᵉⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ʳᵘⁱⁿ ᵒᶠ ᵐᵃⁿʸ ᵃ ᵖᵒᵒʳ ᵍⁱʳˡ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵍᵒᵈ ⁱ ᵏⁿᵒʷ ⁱ'ᵐ ᵒⁿᵉ ) ✧ 𝔞𝔟𝔬𝔲𝔱. #anchorintro #abuse tw #chronic illness tw #mental illness tw #self harm tw #this is athie and we love them #please feeleth free to hmu to plot with either of my beans okay ily

[quantumleapt]

@khaloymes dreams: 💭 for a starter from my wishlist + 🥰 for a fluff starter

TO MEME THE IMPOSSIBLE MEME. always accepting.

"You don't have to stay with me, Johnnie," Sam begins, offering a fond smile over the cup of tea, which he takes from the younger with a murmured thanks.

He's not exactly sure what he's here to do yet, but he knows even this early in the leap that there are some problems, problems that Johnnie knows all too well. Being in pain constantly is a strange sensation for Sam; he doesn't think he'll ever be used to the dull ache thrumming just under his skin. He's quiet for a moment, noticing how arms, knees, ankles, fingertips, among others, pulsate and blossom in random intervals and at varying intensities. There's a knot in the back of his shoulders and one in his hip, lumps of burning coal that won't be tamped down into embers.

"...But, uh, thank you, y'know... for being here." His smile turns softer, hazel eyes crinkling at the corner as he carefully moves over on the couch, making room for Johnnie beside him, one half of the blanket ready to spread over the other's lap and legs.

"...What do you do on your bad days? I wanna know for next time you're hurting."

#ic. #answered. #khaloymes #verse one. #reach out reach out for me i’ll be there [johnnie hershel gold / khaloymes.] #[ooc] I MISSED THEM SO MUCH... #[ooc] this is both a chance to try out my 'sam should be more similar to his leapees and have their characteristics and problems' soapbox #[ooc] and for a chance for me personally to get some catharsis because Chronic Pain Sucks #[ooc] also most importantly: they deserve to have soft family moments #chronic illness tw #chronic pain tw #food tw #food mention tw

[minoment]

Take care of yourself <3

thank you <3

i'm just checking in with everyone, i'll still be on and offline really randomly..

i just finished a really important cardio exam so hopefully that goes well. my migraines are getting worse but overall i'm fine

#i hope this makes sense #im a little delirious because of meds lmao #mino chats // #update #chronic illness tw

[hanjeongrp]

Welcome to Hanjeong, Princess Serenity. You are quite the merfolk. At 22 (122), you have quite a claim to being the heir of the merfolk.

Enjoy paradise.

OOC:

Name/Alias: violet

Pronouns: she/they

Age: 24

Timezone: est

IC:

Biography Information:

OC Name: serenity

FC: lee gahyeon (dreamcatcher)

Species: mermaid

Occupation: perennial royalty, heir

Residence: ocean

Gender: ciswoman

Pronouns: she/her

Age: 122 years (appears 22 years old)

Claim(s): perennial royalty, heir

Biography: 

Trigger Warnings: Child Neglect, Sexism, Chronic Illness

 from the moment she was born, princess serenity had the odds stacked against her in this round of the game of life. her father was the son of a monarch without a claim to the throne, and always itching to gain more control. he wanted a son to carry on the family’s lineage, however his only heir was his sickly daughter, little princess serenity.

 for most of her early life, serenity was too weak to leave the castle at all, and often could not even leave her room without someone to watch her. while her mother and the servants took care of her, her father preferred to ignore her existence. however her mother would die tragically young when serenity was still a child, leaving her with only the servants to raise her. over the years as she grew up, serenity would become stronger, and would learn how to overcome aspects of her illness. she would never fully heal, but it became easier to hide it.

 from afar, she watched her cousin, the crown prince, grow into himself. he was older, stronger, a fine example of a monarch to be. she viewed him with envy, seeing him with his (seemingly) loving family and healthy body. he had everything she dreamed, and he didn’t even know.

 once serenity was able to be more social, she tried to learn to impress her father. she learned the skills of nobles, trained her body to be stronger, and worked her social newly blooming social networks to make up for lost time. the only thing she truly knew about her father is that he wanted the crown, and serenity became determined to get it for him and prove herself, perhaps to obtain some shred of love from him.

 however the more she tried, the more she ended up aggravating her father, who would have rather pretended he didn’t have a child at all. her father would snap, one final, cruel argument severing any connection serenity felt for the man. she realized then that he wasn’t worthy of the crown, nor of any power it could offer him.

 although she grew up hating the crown prince, an incident would occur that would lead them to getting closer. the two would lead a coup that would overthrow the crown prince’s father and have serenity’s own father removed from what little power he did have. the crown prince would appoint serenity as his heir in the aftermath, and she would assist his reign wholeheartedly.

#lee gahyeon #dreamcatcher #oc rp #original rp #hanacceptance #serenity #child neglect tw #sexism tw #chronic illness tw