#cause i also wanted to have spencer in there as well cause he's a big reason why the weskids are the way they are...was maybe gonna include

[arklay]

RESIDENT EVIL → THE WESKER FAMILY

To the public, little is known of the families behind some of the world’s most renowned bioterrorists, but the question remains: did they play a role in causing their children to walk down the path that they did? Or are these individuals simply ambitious criminals with delusions of grandeur?

For Diana Wesker (née Afanasyeva), her introduction into the bioweapons black market trade was upon discovering her employers were using her research into limb regeneration with salamanders to further their experiments in creating enhanced soldiers, instead of developing human therapies with which she was recruited for. Although the prospect of using biological weapons in the military did not appeal to her, the concept remained fascinating for her own selfish endeavours. Born on the 27th of October, 1963 in Sydney, Australia to Russian immigrant parents, Diana had harsh expectations placed upon her at a young age, ones that no matter how hard she tried she could never live up to. Her mother, Tatyana, was an unfeeling woman, absent for long stretches of time with little regard to how it affected her daughters, much more concerned with her craft as an accomplished opera singer. Viktor was no better. A strict man whose role as father and ballet master blurred, he pushed his girls to one day follow in his footsteps. Whilst Sofia enjoyed ballet, and went on to become a professional ballet dancer, Diana’s heart was set on going into the field of biology. She wished to make a name for herself, separate from her family – to which she succeeded.

Diana was married to former U.S. Marine, Dave Monroe, for only a year until he was declared dead in 1992 after succumbing to injuries sustained in a horrific car accident. Foul play was ruled out while Diana played the role of the grief-stricken widow, but in reality, she had snapped after years of mistreatment at her husband’s hands, and opted for something she could pass off as an accident to be free of him. For years she believed he was dead – and he was, legally – but that proved to not be the case when he found his way back into her life again in 1999. Unbeknownst to her, she had been lied to by the police and coroner, who were paid off by her employers when they took Dave’s body for themselves and used him as one of their first test subjects in developing supersoldiers. Before he could ever hurt her again, Diana’s second husband, Albert Wesker, tracked the man down, captured him and tortured him, before allowing Diana to get her violent and bloody revenge.

The origins of Albert Wesker’s involvement in bioterrorism, alongside his twin sister, Alex, are much different than that of Diana’s. The two hail from London, Canada, but unfortunately, they hold no memories of their lives there, nor what happened to their biological parents when they were eight years old. Agents of Oswell E. Spencer, an aristocratic billionaire and eugenicist, took the twins from their home and executed their parents as per Spencer’s orders. Albert and Alex were then placed in a home funded by the Spencer Foundation where they were given new names and a privileged upbringing. They had access to the best education possible, free to pursue whichever field they decided, but it was by no accident they both went into virology and bioengineering; at home, their adoptive parents – agents whom they believed to be their real parents – instilled them with the beliefs of Oswell E. Spencer, harbouring disdain for war and pestilence, and believing humans to be an evolutionary dead-end in need of a rebirth. They were only two of the hundreds of children “adopted” as part of what is known as Project W, a plan intended to develop an advanced race of human beings. The most promising candidates were headhunted by Umbrella Pharmaceuticals, the twins amongst them, where they went on to create bioweapons for the company founded by none other than the man who had handpicked them for his plan. The final stage of this was to infect the thirteen Spencer saw fit, however, only two survived; Albert received the intended effects, now possessing superhuman abilities, however, Alex was only offered more time to live due to her terminal degenerative illness.

In the summer of 1995, Diana was working undercover within Umbrella to gather development data on their projects for her company. Here, she had a chance encounter with Albert, an intelligence officer at the time, which permanently altered the course of her life. The two were never seen far from one another’s side, marrying in 1998, and they went on to become notorious in the bioweapons industry. The development of the Uroboros virus was where things took a turn for the worst. Although Diana’s infection was successful and she bore abilities that rivalled her husband’s, the plan itself did not succeed as they had hoped, and almost cost Albert his life at the hands of his former subordinates.

Now, they work within the shadows, with Diana declared missing and Albert believed to be dead. Their legacy, however, lives on with the mark they left on the world. As visionaries in their field, they influenced bioterror attacks carried out by countless individuals and organisations. In turn, they also inspired others to fight against such atrocities. One such person happens to be Albert’s son from a former relationship, Jake Müller, whose existence he was unaware of.

#mine. #oc: diana #pair: ewskers #click for better quality cause it's large & tumblr ate it ♡ #hii so happy birthday diana !! queen is 60 today :] #um. there's no template cause i made this from scratch...i couldn't find any i was vibing with so i was like you know what lmaoo #i'm sorry for the essay...it was meant to be just a short rundown of the family but well...that happened. typical leah fashion... #oh and guys. did you know that there's a limit to the amount you can put in one blockquote? that's why the rest is just left like that caus #i didn't like how it looked with a blockquote each paragraph...cause the spaces between were unever. you understand 😔 #with the tree i was also going to include weskids adoptive parents but i couldn't figure out how to arrange it all & make it look nice !! #cause i also wanted to have spencer in there as well cause he's a big reason why the weskids are the way they are...was maybe gonna include #sherry as well. like connected to jake (hehe) and then do her parents too but that would've made things so wide & it's already big enough #yes. i hc that albert & alex are biological twins. just for clarification there :] i don't think i added anything else that isn't canon or #implied with canon. cause the weskids were put in homes (or at least whatever ''controlled environments'' means) where they were monitored #by umbrella but were unaware of it. so yeah. i don't think i really changed much there !! #honestly i could've kept rambling cause there's alex's whole situation. there's my lore with jake's mum. there's way more with the ewskers #but it's already so long & i can't be concise so there's that lmaoo oh also diana's grandma. so much stuff #also meant to say the weskids birthday in that ramble. it's january 15 1960 :] they are capricorn sun leo moons but alex was born earlier s #their rising signs are albert is a scorpio rising & alex is a libra rising !! #had to redo the image cause typo on diana's birth year for some reason lmao so if that messed up the formatting i will sob

[unnerving-presence]

unpopular opinion i think but i’m sad they didn’t stick with the cold, calculating, but calm wesker. it honestly just doesn’t fit him seeing him get impulsively angry at shit he wouldn’t have gotten angry at in re4 or uc

like he’s this character who has really deep lore and trauma, who has seen the worst of the worst, does bad shit, but is also calm and quick to think of solutions when things go wrong

in his newer iterations it just feels like that part of him is gone? like he just kinda gets angry (ahem re5) and we never really see his quick thinking. it almost feels like he’s so dedicating to his plan he doesn’t want to think of other options and it feels like he doesn’t. sure, you could argue that he’s a lil more crazy in re5, but 3 years ago that fucker didn’t beat around spencer despite him using him his entire life. but all of a sudden when it comes to uroboros he wants to get all cocky and just let his guards do all the work which clearly doesn’t work.

if this were like.. any other wesker iteration he would’ve thought to maybe.. i don’t know, do something smarter instead of letting all his soldiers die? wesker took down an entire umbrella base in russia by himself to get all of umbrella’s files but all of a sudden he’s too lazy to kill 2 people who he could impale in a second when they clearly threaten his plans? is he stupid? yeah probably lol

bring back smart wesker i’m tired of him being stupid aka typical comic villain in re5 :[

#i also don’t like him in cv i’m sorry #funny as hell lines but why is wesker smart only when the devs want him to be #i’m just biased i just uc wesker LMAO #i hate that you can argue pretty much anything too #big ego (which he has in uc but still beats ass while being a little bitch) #crazy (fair but back to what i said abt spencer. perhaps that was his downfall but it should really be made clearer) #plot armor (well yes) #me just having an extreme bias toward uc wesker (yes) #wesker not knowing abt project w in his younger years (also yeah but they do not make this shit clear whether it affects him) #(they do it for other characters why can’t they do it for wesker?) #(yeah he’s obviously affected but we don’t even know how much it affects him so it’s hard to even tell if most of his decisions are based- #off that or if it’s just plot armor) #probably plot armor yeah yeah #i just like to complain cause i miss old wesker he was so pookie #i like all the weskers i just wish re5 wesker was somewhat smart

[reidssluttywaist]

Spencer's lap.

In which you grind against your boyfriend.

fem!reader, season 2 Spencer, +16.

tags: dry humping, a little bit of dirtytalk.

a/n: guys this is so bad I've never written smut before but i had this idea while rewatching season 2 and tried something, this must have a bunch of mistakes and it's not proofread at all, also if anyone wants to rewrite this better please message me lol.

You never thought you'd have to sit for a physics class ever again since you left high school, and here you are, a half hour into your boyfriend explaining very throughly to you how he can make a rocket with 'physics magic', he also made you swear you would never tell his tricks to anybody, 'cause a magician never shares his secrets, right?!

Except you didn't get sleepy like you did in high school, you never paid that much attention to physics since now, the way Spencer's smile explains every detail, the giggle he lets out as he rumbles about different facts of all the physics laws, you're amazed by how happy he is, how his brain is extraordinary.

Hearing his humbles is better than any music you could think of, and paired with the soft sound of the rain falling outside Spencer's place, you feel so cozy and safe.

You and Spencer have been together for a couple of months now, he is your first real boyfriend, both of you are inexperienced in every single part of being in a relationship, sometimes the feeling of love you feel towards him overwhelms you, almost leaving you out of breath, you can't believe how good it is to love somebody, how god it is to love Spencer.

"Wow, that one might be your best! Look how high it went" you said after his most recent "rocket" made its way to the ceiling, Spencer smiling so big and laughing, making you laugh as well.

"Did you see that? I think I've perfected my measurements it's so high!!" Spencer says with a high-pitched voice, too excited to contain himself.

"The only bad thing about this is that you have to clean this mess up" You make a sad face, looking at the place that has little bits of water splashed all over.

"Nah, it's fine! It'll dry out soon enough" he says pretending that he doesn't care about the mess, except he does.

"C'mon, I'll help you clean and make us some dinner after, ok?!" You get up from your side of the couch, and hold Spencer's hand, trying to pull him up.

"I don't wanna get up now, it can wait," He says seriously, you can almost believe him.

You try pushing him up again, but this time he pulls you against him, being more successful than you do you end up falling onto him, sitting on his lap facing him.

"I said it can wait, I can clean up later, ok? I wanna spend some time with you now." He said holding your waist and looking at you.

You've never been on his lap before, you guys make out now and then, but never in that suggestive of a position, and Spencer never makes the first move like that, you feel your stomach filling with butterflies.

"You look so good with your glasses on" You blurt it out looking at him, analyzing his face as he looks at you.

"Can I kiss you?" Spencer says, you don't need words to respond as you press your lips onto his, starting a gentle kiss.

You'll never get accustomed to kissing Spencer, his soft lips, he's so gentle almost like he's afraid you'll run away if he makes any sudden moves, little does he know you won't, you'd never run away from him you feel like you could never get enough from him.

The kiss was now way more intense, your tongue exploring his, his grip on your waist a lot tighter now, one of his hands let go of your waist and made its way to the back of your neck, making you let out a soft moan into Spencer's mouth, making his body shiver under you.

Your hips start slightly moving over Spencer's thigh, the light friction making you want more.

Spencer was breathing heavily, and you could also feel him growing against your leg, he pulled you harder against him, adjusting your cunt to be right on top of his cock, applying pressure to your hips, you moan again, and you could feel yourself get wetter by the second.

"Spence, wanna feel you." You say in between kisses, making him whimper and push you harder against him.

"Fuck" he swears under his breath, both of his hands going to the waistband of the sweatpants you were wearing. "That okay?" he asks.

"Yes, please." You've never agreed to something so fast in your life, helping him take your pants away, after a few seconds of struggling you were back to kissing him like your life depended on it.

"C-can I take yours?" you whisper, almost scared to say it, he agrees by guiding your hand to his waistband, also helping you take his pants now, you were both only with underwear now, not even bothering to take your tops off, you went back to humping him, your thin underwear fabric soaked.

Spencer's shaky hands made their way onto your shirt, both of them massing your breasts, making noises come out of your mouth and the man under you groan.

"N-need more, Spence." You say grinding your hips harder against him, and bring your hands to his underwear pushing it down just enough so his cock is free.

You start to use your hands on him, slow up and down movements just enough so he can't even keep his eyes open.

"Want your pussy, please, wanna feel you" Spencer mumbles taking your hands off his cock, his hand going to your panties and ripping them out.

That made you gasp, making your pussy even more wet.

Spencer positioned you on his cock, which was resting on his stomach, you started moving your hips up and down, both of you moaning even louder now.

"You feel so warm, baby, you're so wet for me," He says, looking at where your bodies are rubbing against each other, he looks mesmerized by this sight, mouth slightly opened as he applies more pressure to your hips, making you shiver.

Spencer never dirty talked like that before, you could see the blush on his cheeks as he did, this new side of him making your mind blurry and a not start to form on your stomach.

"I'm so close," he says, biting his lips as you try to move even harder for him.

"N-eed more, please, your fingers," you say and he immediately knows what you mean, taking one of his hands out of your hips and bringing it to your pussy, his thumb finding your clit with ease, start moving it in circles making you let out a loud moan.

"Fuck" You let out, not able to keep your eyes open.

"Can you cum for me? Please baby wanna see your pretty face as you fuck yourself on me." Spencer says, that added with his movements in your clit make your mind fuzzy, you felt the heat on your stomach spread to your legs and your body starts to shake, releasing all the tension you were feeling.

"Oh, you're so pretty like that, so pretty when you cum for me," Spencer says, helping you ride out your climax, you were so sensitive by the recent orgasms but you started to move your hips harder and faster on Spencer's cock.

He bites his lips and you feel him grip your ass, his glasses were blurry and it was so hot that he didn't take him out.

He groaned when you felt his dick twit under you, you helped him through his orgasm, kissing him when you were both done, his hands when to your back caressing it, slowly moving up and down.

"That was so good" He whispers to you.

"A dirty talker, huh?! Who would've thought?" you joke, making him laugh.

"Most men are dirty talkers so it's not that uncommon" he rumbles.

He switched up to nerdy Spencer again, making you smile.

You spend a couple more minutes just talking before getting up, you make sure to point all that he must buy you a new pair of panties to pay for the one he ripped, he agrees, saying he would buy more than one because "you'll never know what might happen, right?"

#spencer reid smut #spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid oneshot smut

[ddaz3d-and-cc0nfused]

DAY TWENTY-EIGHT: Dry Humping w/ Spencer Reid

a/n: HEY HEY HEY!! So I am fully aware that Spencer was a child during college so this is an alternative universe where he's of the college age 💀 This is basically season one Spencer cause I wanna eat him.

masterlist | kinktober masterlist | AO3

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You didn't like how the other girls in the circle were looking at him. Their lustful eyes eating up a very nervous Spencer, the man playing with his fingers anxiously.

It was obvious that he wasn't used to being in places like this; where everyone was drunk, high or both, couples and randoms making out and practically fucking in every dark corner of the room. You never thought that you'd see The Spencer Reid, your college campus' genius, sitting in a spin the bottle circle in a random frat house.

You had no idea who convinced the poor boy that doing this was a good idea, but you would be damned if any other one of these girls were to get their hands on him. You liked him first — not just liked him — you claimed him. Everyone in your group knew that you liked him, so the fact that they had the fucking gall to look at him that way knowing you were there pissed you off.

"Alright, everybody!" A random bro shouted from on top of one of the dining room tables. "We were going to play Spin The Bottle, but I figured it'd be better if we play Seven Minutes in Heaven, seeing as though we have a special guest here with us tonight."

You knew exactly who he was talking about, and as your eyes lifted to look at Spencer, his gaze was already settled on you, but once he saw you were looking at him, he looked away bashfully. His face flushed a pretty red and so did his ears, and you could practically see the blood threatening to spill from his cuticles as he picked at them.

Your eyes narrowed at the jock angrily, every part of your body yelling at you to tend to Spencer.

But you swallowed it down.

A large group of people gathered around, and then the first spin of the night began. People were gleefully coming and going from the closet, a few of the couples manipulating the bottle so that it landed on them.

"Oh, shit!" One of the frat bros called out loudly. You looked curiously to see all eyes locked on you and Spencer, the tip pointing at you and the end pointing at him.

You must admit, you were a bit… known… around school. You wouldn't say you were popular, now that was a bit childish, but you definitely had connections in a couple different places.

The poor man looked almost frantic, looking at you then looking back down, almost as if saying you didn't have to. Oh, but you did.

"Seven minutes, pretty boy. C'mon." You said as you got up. His eyes were as big as saucers, his mouth gaping akin to like a fish would. You straightened your tight dress, reaching out a well manicured hand.

"If you want this to be over sooner then get up." You whispered sternly. He scrambled to interlock your fingers, and you lead him to the closet that was already significantly hot from the amount of bodies that had been in there already.

"We don't have to do anything you don't want to." You reassured. "No, no… I-I want to, it's just��" He babbled, wringing his hands. "It's just what?" You pushed, stepping closer to him. He gulped, backing up slightly and knocking into the shelves behind him.

"I just don't know how." He didn't know how to make you feel good, how to pleasure you. He was embarrassed to admit to the girl that he liked, who was also totally out of his league, that he was a virgin.

"Why did you come here, then?" You questioned with a slight smirk. "Because… because you were here and I wanted to uh- maybe- I don't know-" You cupped his face, stroking his cheeks.

"Kiss me then, Spence."

"Wh- what?!" He stuttered.

"I said," You spoke, your lips brushing against his, "Kiss me." He gulped, looking down at your lips back up to your eyes, then back down to your lips again.

"Okay." He breathed.

He leaned forward, albeit hesitantly, and pressed your lips together. It started out slow, but with a lot of coaxing from you, he got comfortable. Your lips moved in tandem as the room heated up. You had no idea what had come over you when you placed both of his hands on your ass.

"Touch me." You breathed heavily. Your breasts pressed tauntingly into his chest, his cock hardening embarrassingly fast. "Are you sure?" You nodded. "Please."

He tested the waters with a light squeeze before shoving your hips together. His body stuttered as a loud whine fell from his mouth. You could feel his bulge against your plush body and Spencer wanted nothing more than for the ground to swallow him whole.

"Sorry, sorry." His apologies were frantic, but your nerves burned with need. "I'm fine with you grinding on me, baby." You reassured. "In fact, I like it." Normally, you wouldn't say you carried a dominating energy with you, but it was like you wanted to swallow the poor boy whole.

"Oh, God." He whimpered, but nonetheless joined your lips back together. You slipped your plush thigh through his legs, pressing it on his cock.

His hips jutted out, and you swallowed his cry. His grips on your ass turned deathly as he humped your leg like a bitch in heat.

"That feel good?" You cooed, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear.

He nodded fastly, his lips pressed together and his eyes closed. He was lost in the feeling of the friction, perspiration beading on his hairline. You practially eat the sight of his deep red face up.

"You're mine. Alright, pretty boy?" You asked ferociously. You wrentched his head back, sinking your teeth into the sensitive skin of his neck. He nodded. "Say it." He yelped when you nipped at his adams apple.

"I'm yours, fuck- all yours!"

Your stomach twisted with a pleasant warm feeling, which only increased rapidly which you felt his thrusts grow sloppy.

"You gonna cum, honey?" You asked through your marking. "Yes, yes, yes…" He babbled. "Good. Cum all over me." He let out one last loud moan before you felt the warmth of spend seep out and onto the hem of your dress.

There was a knock on the door.

"Okay, lovebirds. Time's up!"

You smirked at the fact that Spencer was shaking like a leaf in your hold.

"After this, we are so going to my dorm." You claimed. "Yes! Yeah, yeah… yes, please." He all but shouted.

#♡ ― nsfmeau ! #kinktober #kinktober 2023 #kinktober day twenty eight #plus size reader #x plus size reader #plus size!reader #x chubby reader #chubby reader #spencer fanfiction #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid kinktober #spencer x reader #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x plus size reader #spencer reid smut #smut #fanfiction

[eideticallys]

I Don't Mind If It's You

pairing: spencer reid x reader

summary: maybe styling spencer’s hair should be an everyday thing for both of you.

genre: fluff

word count: 1081

author's notes: i missed spencer's long hair so i decided to write a self-indulging fic about playing with his hair. also posted on ao3 (spencereids).

SPENCER HAS ALWAYS FOREGONE STYLING HIS HAIR IN THE MORNINGS. He always thought as long as he could just flick the strands of hair behind his ear, he was good to go. And besides, he had a hair tie with him. He could just simply tie it back—no more pesky hair in his line of sight.

He has always foregone styling his hair in the mornings until he met you. While he was big on practicality & “Hairstyling is a waste of time”!” You were the exact opposite. 

It’s quite a funny thing to think about. Spencer, a certified germaphobe, was uncaring about how his hair looked, whether it was kept well today or it looked like a bird’s nest the next. And then, there’s you. You’re not a germaphobe though you pride yourself as a chic woman. Not a law enforcement job could stop you from looking like you came straight out of a magazine.

You always found the time to make sure your hair looked pretty and presentable before heading to work. In your free time—quite rare for FBI agents—you liked to read magazines for trendy new styles to try or watch videos online for tutorials.

And today was definitely your lucky day. No case. Everyone is off for the holidays.

Unfortunately, that’s where your luck ended.

You got injured during your last case. Your arm is in a cast, unable to move it around like you wanted it to. Fortunately, your hand was still good & thankfully, uninjured, unlike the rest of your arm. So, although you were free to lounge around your home, you couldn’t try that one hairstyle you found in one of those Cosmopolitan articles.

Until a genius idea came to you like a light bulb turning on.

“Hey, Spence?”

You asked your boyfriend, who was busy skimming through what seemed like his third or fourth book of the day.

He’s so cute when he’s all focused like this, you thought. 

He hummed in response, still couldn’t tear his eyes away from the pages.

“I have a favor to ask you.”

This made Spencer look up from what he was reading, staring at you questioningly. You were the type of person who never asked for help or favors—unless needed. You often disagreed with him because he would prefer it if you told him whatever problem you had. Although he was a genius and could help with you, he knew lending an ear to someone was already a big help. 

"You know I can't move my arm around, right?" You asked him, to which he nodded in agreement. 

"Yeah, is it itchy?” He asked, about to go off on one of his notable tangents. “It takes around six to eight weeks for broken bones in casts to heal. Also, around that time, the injured area starts to itch.”

You nodded fondly at the man, not minding a little bit that he went off-topic. You love listening to his mini-lectures—not only do you learn something new, but you’d also hear the soft tone of his voice. One thing about Spencer is he had a pretty voice. You could listen to him talk for hours.

“There are five main reasons why your casts itch—nerves, trapped moisture, immune response, dead skin cells, and body hair.” Spencer continued tattling. “Nerves cause itchiness because the nerve endings in the skin may fire as the cast begins to harden and dry, sending itch-inducing signals to the brain. As for the itchiness being an immune response, it ensues when the body perceives the plaster of Paris or fiberglass as an outside invader. Histamines may be released. Itching, redness, and swelling can be brought on by released histamine.” 

With his excitement to share facts about how broken bones heal, you couldn’t help but laugh at how dorky but adorable your boyfriend was, which made him scrunch his nose.

“I’m rambling, aren’t I?”

“You are, but I don’t mind. I like it.”

At this, Spencer’s ears started turning pink, making you chuckle some more. He scratched the back of his neck in shyness as you took it as a clue to tell him what you needed from him.

“My arm isn’t itchy, babe,” you began, “What I need from you is your hair.”

“My what?” 

“Your hair.” 

It was your turn to get shy. You knew Spencer wasn’t a big fan of having his hair messed with. It’s not that he hates it. He just doesn’t like messing with it that much—minus the occasional flicking behind his ear and simply tying it back when it gets irritating.

“I—um,” you explained further, trying to fight against the embarrassment you were feeling. This was your boyfriend you’re talking to!  “I saw this cute new hairstyle online and I wanted to try it but you know, with the broken arm and all…” You trailed off.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.” You chuckled humorlessly, beyond embarrassed at this point.

This was such a bad idea. Why did you even bring it up? You were about to start berating yourself, ready to hop onto the next train and create a new identity for yourself, when you noticed Spencer shuffling towards you, sitting on the floor between your legs.

“You want me to style your hair?” You asked incredulously, still can’t believe Spencer would let you play with his hair.

“Of course.” He replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world 

Like it was an everyday thing for anyone—you—to do his hair.

“I don’t mind my hair being played with if it’s you.”

At that, you blushed as you started combing through his soft curls with your fingers. Spencer merely smiled softly at the gesture and closed his eyes.

“Y/N?” Spencer asked quietly.

“Yeah?” You asked back as you started braiding his hair. “What is it, Spence?”

“I love you.” He muttered. “I may not like it when people touch my hair out of nowhere. But if it’s you, I don’t mind having you do it for the rest of my life.”

You gasped at his sudden confession and were about to say those three words back when you felt it.

Spencer planted a kiss on your injured arm and pulled your other one down, so he could be face-to-face with you. And before you knew it, his lips brushed against yours, eyelashes fluttering against your cheeks.

Maybe styling Spencer’s hair should be an everyday thing for both of you.

#criminal minds #criminal minds series #criminal minds fandom #spencer reid #spencer reid fandom #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst #spencer reid smut #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid scenario #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid blurb #tooth rotting fluff #domestic fluff #criminal minds fluff #established relationship #long-haired spencer reid #mild hurt/comfort

[just-weird-fanfics]

Take it - Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Summary: you ask Spencer to take your virginity. Spencer being Spencer second guesses if you're joking with him. You reassure him you're not and he soon agrees.

Warnings: Swearing, smut, Spencer reid being unsure, nervous Spencer, Spencer has a big dick cause you can't tell me it's not long, loss of virginity, oral f!receiving, fingerings, lots of praise, size difference, first kiss, very inexperienced reader, fake statistics cause I'm too lazy to actually look them up

Not edited that well so sorry and i'm also sorry its a bit late

Word count: 3128

"Spencer, can I talk to you for a second?" 

Spencer looks over and smiles when he sees you. He hadn't expected you to show up at his work but he wasn't that surprised, you had asked when he'd get home. 

"Of course. Are you alright?" He asks concerned when he sees you fighting with your jacket zipper. 

You nodded and looked up at him as he got closer to you. You looked past him for a second and saw a few of his team members, you didn't know who was who but knew names from Spencer's stories. Spencer glances over at well and you hear one of them whistle making Spencer shake his head with a small laugh. 

"Come here," Spencer takes your hand carefully and leads you away from everyone into the small kitchen area of the BAU. you smile softly and feel him squeeze your hand. "What's going on? You looked stressed." You smile and shake your head softly, "don't profile me spence."

He nods, "sorry. It's just hard not to when you fidget like that and are clearly upset." You frown, "do I look upset? I'm not im? Just a bit nervous-" you stop yourself when you realize your rambling gives you away. 

"Nervous?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"I have an eidetic memory," he laughs, "now tell me what's wrong before I actually profile you."

You look away from him and tap your foot unconsciously. Everything you were about to ask started going through your head and you were starting to hope Spencer could just read your mind to save you time in speaking. But Spencer wasn't a mind reader, he was a profiler. And he saw the obvious way you always flushed around him, the nervous fidgeting, the spike in pitch when you talked to him. He took in everything. And he could only hope you were going to admit to liking him tonight.

"Spencer. Do you think you could um," your hands were playing with your zipper again and Spencer saw the way you leaned against the counter and your thighs pressed together. 

Oh. Oh.

"Spencer, can you take my virginity?" 

He was surprised he even caught your words with how quite you spoke them. Altho he was questioning if he heard you wrong. 

"I'm sorry. You want me to do what?"

You reach your hands out for Spencer's hesitantly and he rubs his thumbs over your knuckles, "I want you as my first. I trust you. But you don't have to do it. I know you probably don't want to ruin our friendship and doing this might have just done that b-"

"I will."

You look up at him and see his eyes were basically blown out. Your knees almost buckle then. You smile and hug him already feeling something press against you that you knew wasn't his belt. "Let me go say bye to the team. Meet me at my place." 

-----

You had a key to Spencer's and when you arrived you immediately decided to go into the bedroom. His bathroom was connected and you walked in after dropping your bag on a side chair in the room. You didn't have much makeup on but you decided to wash your face anyway. Being childhood friends with Spencer you had come with him even in memory, you guys would joke, to all his apartments. So you had all the mini products of things you have at home at his place.

In the middle of brushing your hair you hear the front door open. You weren't sure what to do and when you look out of the bathroom and see Spencer walk into the bedroom you smile softly. "Already went in my closet I see," he motions to the shirt you took, the only article of clothing beside underwear you had on currently. 

"You told me that anything you had was mine. Vice versa." He smiles softly and sets his bag next to yours on the chair, "well your clothes are too small for me sweetheart." You flush at the common nickname he used for you. 

"Come here."

You basically rush over to him and he smiles and takes your hands in his. "You can always say no whenever you want to," he tells you. You nod, "you can too. I know this was a lot to ask." He sighs softly with a Ile and sits on the edge of the bed. He pulls you with him to stand between his legs.

"It's more likely for people to go to a trusted person for their first time. Almost 70% of that time its women going to male friends cause they know and trust them enough. I'm glad that you trust me with this. Altho, I didn't think you were a virgin."

You smile at his words, you would trust Spencer with anything. "Spence. I haven't even had my first kiss. I want you to be my first for everything, I just don't think I should've waited this long."

Spencer's face drops slightly and you look down. "Are you sure about this?"

"I like you Spencer. If it wasn't obvious enough."

He reaches your hand out and lifts your chin to look at him, "I like you too. I have for years. I just wish I didn't wait for you to be the first to talk."

"It's less likely for men your age to be the first to talk in a situation like this. And far less likely for you considering I'm your best friend."

He smiles and nods at your use of statistics on him. You moved a bit closer to him and moved your hands to his hair. He lets out a sigh at the contact and lets his eyes close. 

"Can I kiss you?" He asks softly, looking at you again. You nod and he brings his hands up to your face to pull you in.

When his lips touch yours you melt into him almost immediately. You were lucky he sat down as you wouldn't be able to keep your head up for long. His lips were a bit chapped but you didn't mind it. Your dreams were finally becoming reality. 

The hands you had in his hair move to his thighs as you try to keep yourself from falling to your knees, altho you don't think either of you would be too opposed to it. 

His lips move against yours and you follow his actions. You hear him chuckle softly and then he pulls back. "Would you like to sit on my lap?" The idea makes your head spin and you nod immediately. You didn't expect Spencer to lift you up like you weighed nothing but he did. 

He sat you on his lap and you gasped at the very clear bulge you felt underneath you. "Don't mind that," he mutters softly in your ear but you heard his breath hitch. 

You place your hands on his chest and he watches as you adjust yourself on his lap. He bites back the groan he wanted to let out and replays the soft moan you let out. From your expression you hadn't expected to rub against him. 

His hand meets your cheek and you make eye contact again with him. You don't have to say anything to each other as you lean in and kiss him like he had done to you. You felt him lick your bottom lip and you made a small noise of confusion. He grabbed your hips and rolled them against him making you moan into his mouth. He catches you off guard and lets his tongue slide into your mouth.

A gasps escapes you but you ease into his hold and let him take the lead. You tasted coffee and chocolate and the smell of his cologne. It all fills your senses and you let yourself drown in it. His tongue sliding against yours was a bit confusing and Spencer knew it. He pulled back and placed a kiss on your cheek before trailing them down your neck.

"You think you can show me how to do that more later?" You ask and you feel him nod against your neck. He nips softly at the skin there making you grab onto his shirt. You can feel the smirk on his lips. "Please," you mutter, "need you."

He moves his head back and looks at you. You smile and grab his tie and loosen it. He moves his hands from your waist and uses them to lean against. He watches you set his tie on the floor carefully then reach for his shirt buttons. 

"Sweetheart," he says carefully, "you're sure about this?"

"I've never been more sure in my life."

The buttons on his shirt were undone quickly. Spencer watches a bit amused and helps you shrug off his shirt to put it on the floor too. He smiles as you run your hands over his chest. 

You move back slightly to take off his belt but he takes your hips in his hands again and rolls you over. He makes sure you're comfortable with your head on the pillows. His hands rest on your knees and he looks up at you. You don't say anything and silently give him permission by spreading your legs.

"Can I take this off?" He asks, playing with the collar of the shirt you wore. You nodded and he did the same you did to him. The shirt was soon on the floor with the other. Your hands find his own when they come back to your waist. You watch as his eyes widen slightly as they stare at your chest. 

He leans down and kisses your neck causing a small gasp to come from your lips. His hands find your breaststroke and massage them as he kisses his way to the left one. Your head lays against the pillows as you let him lick and suck at your nipple. The other one being pun he'd slightly busy him making small moans leave your lips.

"Spencer. Enough teasing."

He smirks against your chest before bringing his lips to the other side and repeating what he did to the other. You bucked your hips up slightly making him chuckle and hold your hips down.

One last squeeze and he moves his lips down to your stomach. You look down and whine softly when you realize where he was going. His fingers hooked the waistband of your underwear and he looks up at you, "you want this?"

"Spencer, I'm not telling you again. Please, I need you."

He pulls down your underwear and off of you. He glances at the wetness that was covering them and smirks slightly. He throws them on the floor as well. Your legs were pushed up slightly by him and you watch him adjust so he's level with you.

You take a breath as you feel his own on your core. You nod slightly at him and he smiles. He leans forward and you feel his tongue slide up your opening and to your clit. A surprised moan leaves you and your hands are in his hair a second later.

He groans into your clit sending vibrations through you. Another koan comes from your lips. He smiles against you and his grip on you tightens. His tongue laps at your clit and quickly makes a coil tighten in your stomach. His fingers find your entrance and he slides one inside. You tightly grip at his hair and he curls the finger inside of you.

"Fuck. Do it again."

He does it again, making a whimper come from you. He lifts his head up to watch your face. He adds another finger and pumps them in and out of you as you close your eyes and moan out his name. 

A knot in your stomach keeps tightening and you open your eyes to look at him. He can see the way you're looking, your thighs shaking slightly, and feel your walls tighten. He brings his head back down and sucks on your clit sending you over the edge.

Your vision goes white and you grip his hair. A silent moan leaving your lips as you arch your back. He doesn't let up his movements and watches you from where he was. His fingers were covered as he pulls them out and he takes them into his mouth. You were still catching your breath and didn't witness the action but you felt him lick you clean. 

"You think you're ready for me now?"

You nod and he comes back up to your face. A soft smile was on his lips. "Words." "Yes Spencer. I'm ready." He nods and you watch him take off hus belt. You squirm slightly making him smile as he pushes down his pants. "Touch yourself for me." You nod and bring one of your hands down between your thighs.

You circled your clit with your fingers and frowned. It didn't feel as good as when Spencer did it. You dipped a finger inside you and had the same feeling. Spencer was better at everything he did. His fingers were bigger and able to hit spots inside you that you never could. Your mind wandered to his dick and you felt something nudge against your thigh.

You looked down and sucked in a breath. You've seen porn. You knew what a penis looked like. But Spencer's didn't compare to any you'd seen. 

"Is it gonna fit?" You ask, still staring.

"I'll go slow. Don't worry."

You weren't concerned about him going slow. You looked up at him and he could see you were being genuine about the question. "It'll fit. I'm not that big." You nearly slap him at that, "take a good look down and say that again." "Its only cause you're smaller compared to me."

He lifts your hips and settles himself between your legs again. His fingers find your slit and press in. You don't get to feel them for long and when they come out he brings them right to his cock. You watch him as he strokes his length. His hands on himself made it look like he wasn't as big as he was. But next to you it was almost painful just seeing his size. 

He lines up at your entrance and looks up at you, "if it's too much. Tell me to stop." 

"Ok. Please just-"

You let out a gasp as he slides just the tip inside kf you. It was already a stretch. He watches your face and can see the discomfort. He coos at you and slowly slides in further. You cry out and huss at a stinging pain. He immediately freezes and brings his hands up to your face. 

"I'm sorry. Do you want me to p-" 

"Pull out and I'll make sure you're the next case," you threaten when pleaser replaces the pain. 

He laughs softly at you and leans down to press a kiss to your lips. He pushes in more and tears fall down your cheeks. He wipes them away and kisses you again, "don't worry. It'll feel better once I'm all in." And it didn't take long until he was pressed up against you fully. 

You breathe trying to get used to being filled. Your eyes were screwed shut but you could feel Spencer staring at you. His hands found your waist and rubbed circles softly onto the skin there. You opened your eyes to look up at him. And he looked hot. His hair was messy from your pulling and his eyes were blown with lust. 

"Move."

He pulled his hips back and then pressed into you again slowly. Your eyes rolled back at the feeling. He continued his pace and watched your expression. A smile was spread across your face and you looked like you were in heaven. Spencer smiled and moves his hands to either side of your head and leans down to kiss you.

He feels you bite his lip and he groans slightly. "Faster spence. I can take it." He was almost pushed over the edge at just the idea and nodded. He draws his hips back just like he'd done before but doesn't wait as long as he did to push into you.

His pace picks up and he relishes in the way you clench around him. He couldn't help but let a whimper escape his lips. The noise makes you clench harder. You pull him down and play with his hair. He kisses and nips at your neck as you moan into his ear.

The drag of his cock against your walls was amazing. It hit everywhere you could never reach yourself. You've never been in this much bliss before and you felt horrible for getting close so early. But your orgasm before and the new sensation were too much.

You tug his hair roughly causing his head to go back and a groan to come from his lips. He goes faster but wasn't sure how with how hard you were gripping around him. He feels you let up on his hair before a squeak comes from your mouth and you clench. 

He couldn't control himself after feeling you cum around him. He pulls out and grabs his cock. His hand moves fast and he lets out a groan. You come back down as you feel Spencer release onto your stomach. 

You both sit there for a minute and try to catch your breaths. Smiles spread across both your faces and a small laugh from your own.

"That was amazing. Thank you."

You watch him get up and nod. He kisses yoir forehead before walking into the bathroom. You stretch out slightly on his bed and smile at how comfortable it is. You close your eyes and hear the sink in the bathroom turn on. 

You were nearly asleep when you heard him walk back into the bedroom. A wet face cloth was placed on your heat making you let out a content hum. Then it went to your stomach. You faintly hear him rummaging through his closet before he walks back over. 

You open your eyes and look at Spencer as he hands you a clean shirt of his. You smile and put it on and curl up into his side. 

"Spencer, thank you for tonight." 

"Of course sweetheart. I didn't hurt you did i?"

You shake your head with a small laugh and kiss his chest, "you couldn't hurt me spence. You love me too much."

Spencer's hand goes to your hair, "I do love you."

You smile and hold him tighter, "and I love you too. Talk in the morning. You fucked me into a good night's rest."

#spencer reid #boy genius #my boy <3 #spencer reid smut #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds story #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader

[sassyfrassboss]

So as a daughter of a former courtier, I have some information of such to share.

What Meghan Wants - this wasn’t just about the wedding, as when Harry proposed he proposed with a basic ring and Meghan wanted something more bling so to speak and alongside Harry, approached The Queen and basically demanded that she have the centre emerald of the choker necklace placed into a diamond pavé ring alongside two other large diamonds from the royal collection, which I’ve heard were from the Victorian or Georgian era.

When the Queen said no, Meghan got venomous and is the reason why the Queen said she was evil. When they couldn’t get any further, they apparently approached The Earl Spencer to have him hand over diamonds from the Spencer tiara to place into the tiara, to which he denied. This was among the reasons why he did not attend the christening, the wedding he did attend because of optics.

The hatred of Catherine links back to a time when Meghan got drunk while living in Kensington Palace’s cottage with Harry, and threw a large party that went on for hours. William was apparently away at the time and Catherine was pregnant with two young children living close by. Catherine went down to tell her to stop the partying and the loud music, and Meghan again got venomous towards her. And by venomous, I mean in her face, obscenities falling from her lips and insults right to Catherine’s face. Also Meghan did buy Catherine a set of stainless steel butcher knives and smirked that the blood wipes right off.

Meghan also hates Pippa, because she tried to worm her way into her friendship circle first through the Chelsea society circle but failed as Pippa is very closed off to outsiders and very protective. Harry has had a well known weird obsession over Pippa and Catherine for a long time.

Meghan is behind the Rose rumours, this is a fact known by the family and staff. This is another reason why most have frozen her out and it is indeed due to Rose and Harry being together, and him raving about how “fit” she was to everyone afterwards while Meghan didn’t get to attend.

Meghan didn’t believe Zara had miscarriages and this is a big reason for why Anne, Peter, Mike and Zara hate her guts. Basically what was said is that Meghan didn’t see how an Olympic standard equestrian could have two miscarriages one after another and maybe it was that that caused it.

The racism thing is a nothing burger. Basically Charles and Camilla alongside William and Catherine sat down with Harry, without Meghan there before they married but apparently engaged, and basically brought up about whether he’d be able to cope with racism in the media directed towards Meghan and their child, what I’ve heard is that those shotgun engagement rumours are indeed true. There was a lot of talk about a miscarriage, and it wasn’t about Catherine or anyone else in the family. Which is why his family brought it up, as they knew he wasn’t the strongest mentally or emotionally. But what also was brought up was Harry’s racism and whether he’d be able to handle a biracial child… he had commented on Senna and Tāne Lewis among others.

Eugenie’s engagement announcement and wedding were both pushed back to accommodate Meghan and Harry, and their wedding pushed forward. The Queen apparently wanted a toned down wedding because Meghan was a divorcee and she was pregnant out of wedlock, but then suddenly they were accommodating basically anything she wanted, to which I’ve heard is because she cried wolf over a miscarriage, saying they were the family she never had and really manipulating them as while the Queen and others were strong and smart in the institutional way, they are a soft and supportive family. But she did bring up nonstop questions about Philip’s Nazi in-laws which irked him, The Queen and others massively.

Meghan wanted the Vladimir tiara, but not how it usually looks - basically she wanted to take the emeralds out of it and place those emeralds into the Lovers Knot, which she was told no because it is on lifetime loan to Catherine and its current frame is fitted to her head shape.

That Givenchy anon that was going around? That is basically all true. Meghan hated Charlotte with a vengeance but also Mia Tindall and later Lena Tindall because she like Louis dared to be born in 2018. She hated family members bringing children to events or family gatherings.

Also Meghan kept calling Louis, Lewis instead of the Louey pronunciation because she was jealous of him. Apparently Louis was also the name that she (more so Harry) had approached the Queen and Philip about using for their unborn child.

Doria never got anything. She turned up a few days before the wedding and jetted out a few days later. Jessica Mulroney kept pestering the courtiers and royal staffers to which they ended up blocking her from further communication.

Nobody knew Meghan was pregnant when she announced in 2018 with Archie, everyone literally found out when she posted on the instagram account in the middle of the night in the UK but a good time in California. Nobody got to ask about medical provisions, as the staffers wanted to help arrange the appropriate procedures for her with the Queen’s medical team. But she didn’t take them up, and Harry didn’t know basic things about the pregnancy when asked by family and staff. There is a very very strong case for a surrogate being used, as it was noted that Meghan ate unsafe food, traveled to unsafe places, did unsafe activities, and got basic information wrong about pregnancy when asked like Harry.

Nobody has seen him or Lili, they were not in the UK for the jubilee or any other time. The Queen did not visit them at Frogmore Cottage.

Breaking this down:

So as a daughter of a former courtier, I have some information of such to share.

What Meghan Wants - this wasn’t just about the wedding, as when Harry proposed he proposed with a basic ring and Meghan wanted something more bling so to speak and alongside Harry, approached The Queen and basically demanded that she have the centre emerald of the choker necklace placed into a diamond pavé ring alongside two other large diamonds from the royal collection, which I’ve heard were from the Victorian or Georgian era.

-So around this time Meghan’s PR was insane. It was clear that she intended on making “emerald” her stone/color like Catherine had “sapphire.” At the time, her PR was claiming that the emerald stone was going to come from a necklace of Diana’s and that Harry was going to take diamonds from the famous sapphire chocker for the rest of the ring. The problem that I always had with this rumor was that the emerald Meghan wanted wasn’t really suited for a ring. Unless she wanted to have it recut.

When the Queen said no, Meghan got venomous and is the reason why the Queen said she was evil. When they couldn’t get any further, they apparently approached The Earl Spencer to have him hand over diamonds from the Spencer tiara to place into the tiara, to which he denied. This was among the reasons why he did not attend the christening, the wedding he did attend because of optics.

Rumor was that Meghan asked for the tiara for her wedding, hence why her veil was scalloped to resemble the tiara.

The hatred of Catherine links back to a time when Meghan got drunk while living in Kensington Palace’s cottage with Harry, and threw a large party that went on for hours. William was apparently away at the time and Catherine was pregnant with two young children living close by. Catherine went down to tell her to stop the partying and the loud music, and Meghan again got venomous towards her. And by venomous, I mean in her face, obscenities falling from her lips and insults right to Catherine’s face. Also Meghan did buy Catherine a set of stainless steel butcher knives and smirked that the blood wipes right off.

It was also said that the Gloucester’s complained as well. Loud drunken behavior and at one point there were fireworks. But it was more than one occasion. Apparently Meghan made some rude remark regarding them about how they needed to move and it got back to TQ who relayed to Meghan she needed to keep her mouth shut. This is also why William stopped any potential move by them into KP.

Meghan also hates Pippa, because she tried to worm her way into her friendship circle first through the Chelsea society circle but failed as Pippa is very closed off to outsiders and very protective. Harry has had a well known weird obsession over Pippa and Catherine for a long time.

I remember there being a rumor that Meghan tried to make friends with Pippa to actually turn Pippa against Catherine. I also remember Meghan putting out PR that she was super close with Pippa and it was causing issues because Pippa was taking her side against Catherine.

Meghan is behind the Rose rumours, this is a fact known by the family and staff. This is another reason why most have frozen her out and it is indeed due to Rose and Harry being together, and him raving about how “fit” she was to everyone afterwards while Meghan didn’t get to attend.

Amsterdam SOHO is where she spilled the rumor because some people were willing to out her for her “extra party activities” so she started the rumor.

Meghan didn’t believe Zara had miscarriages and this is a big reason for why Anne, Peter, Mike and Zara hate her guts. Basically what was said is that Meghan didn’t see how an Olympic standard equestrian could have two miscarriages one after another and maybe it was that that caused it.

Yeah, Meghan believes that she is the only one to have ever suffered from a miscarriage…

The racism thing is a nothing burger. Basically Charles and Camilla alongside William and Catherine sat down with Harry, without Meghan there before they married but apparently engaged, and basically brought up about whether he’d be able to cope with racism in the media directed towards Meghan and their child, what I’ve heard is that those shotgun engagement rumours are indeed true. There was a lot of talk about a miscarriage, and it wasn’t about Catherine or anyone else in the family. Which is why his family brought it up, as they knew he wasn’t the strongest mentally or emotionally. But what also was brought up was Harry’s racism and whether he’d be able to handle a biracial child… he had commented on Senna and Tāne Lewis among others.

He felt the conversation was awkward because he knew how much they all disliked Meghan and she knew it as well. So she twisted the conversation to suit her narrative.

Eugenie’s engagement announcement and wedding were both pushed back to accommodate Meghan and Harry, and their wedding pushed forward.

Stole her wedding date from what I heard. Also another rumor, Meghan was FURIOUS because she wanted the tiara, after she had been denied others, that Eugenie wore and her announcing her pregnancy was retaliation.

The Queen apparently wanted a toned down wedding because Meghan was a divorcee and she was pregnant out of wedlock, but then suddenly they were accommodating basically anything she wanted, to which I’ve heard is because she cried wolf over a miscarriage, saying they were the family she never had and really manipulating them as while the Queen and others were strong and smart in the institutional way, they are a soft and supportive family. But she did bring up nonstop questions about Philip’s Nazi in-laws which irked him, The Queen and others massively.

TQ really had an issue with the veil as well. I remember when it was said PP might not make the wedding because of health issues and I always wondered if he was going to use that as an excuse to stay home because he hated Meghan. He also retired when he knew Meghan was coming on board…which is very telling.

Meghan wanted the Vladimir tiara, but not how it usually looks - basically she wanted to take the emeralds out of it and place those emeralds into the Lovers Knot, which she was told no because it is on lifetime loan to Catherine and its current frame is fitted to her head shape.

It was the Vladimir and the Fife emerald tiara that was on display at the time at KP. At least that is my theory.

That Givenchy anon that was going around? That is basically all true. Meghan hated Charlotte with a vengeance but also Mia Tindall and later Lena Tindall because she like Louis dared to be born in 2018. She hated family members bringing children to events or family gatherings. Also Meghan kept calling Louis, Lewis instead of the Louey pronunciation because she was jealous of him. Apparently Louis was also the name that she (more so Harry) had approached the Queen and Philip about using for their unborn child.

Yeah I heard she was furious that W&C went for Louis because she had called dibs on the name prior to there even being a wedding, let alone a baby. She was also furious because she felt that Charlotte should not have been named after TQ and Diana.

Doria never got anything. She turned up a few days before the wedding and jetted out a few days later. Jessica Mulroney kept pestering the courtiers and royal staffers to which they ended up blocking her from further communication.

Doria was literally trotted out to remind people Meghan is bi-racial.

Nobody knew Meghan was pregnant when she announced in 2018 with Archie, everyone literally found out when she posted on the instagram account in the middle of the night in the UK but a good time in California. Nobody got to ask about medical provisions, as the staffers wanted to help arrange the appropriate procedures for her with the Queen’s medical team. But she didn’t take them up, and Harry didn’t know basic things about the pregnancy when asked by family and staff. There is a very very strong case for a surrogate being used, as it was noted that Meghan ate unsafe food, traveled to unsafe places, did unsafe activities, and got basic information wrong about pregnancy when asked like Harry.

Nobody has seen him or Lili, they were not in the UK for the jubilee or any other time. The Queen did not visit them at Frogmore Cottage.

So I did the math and according to Meghan’s timeline, she was still heavily drinking and partying around the time she became “pregnant” with Archie. There is a lot of questionable behaviors surrounding all of this. I did find it odd the left the “kids” at home for the 2022 Jubilee/Trooping because I figured she would at least try to get a photo with them looking out a window.

Thanks for all of this BTW!

#meghan markle #submission #british royal family #prince harry

[junipers-archive]

hi hi hi:))) i’ve never made a request before but i desperately need a one-shot of emily and derek being besties at work and messing around with spence. just teasing him and talking abt life idk something to warm my heart🫶

Heyy and its no problem at all but hope you don't mind I made this a blurb because I'm not taking one-shot requests right now!! <3

❥ You overhear the team teasing Spence about his crush on you over the phone

You'd opted to stay home today, having not been feeling very well and gotten it cleared with Hotch. Cases were slow this week and it was no harm.

However you'd also forgotten to inform Spencer, he had called you this morning wanting to know if you were alright, needed anything and all the other basic Spencer doting questions. When your conversation was over he'd hung up, or he assumed he hung up and put his phone back in his pocket.

The truth of the matter was he'd missed the hang up button.

You thought it'd be funny to listen in on his interactions with your co-workers, maybe even get some gossip that wasn't exactly meant for your ears.

He was leaning against the counter in the kitchen, drinking his coffee as he greeted Emily. "Morning." His voice was groggy and you could tell he hadn't gotten enough sleep last night.

"What?? Is this a boy genius without his Y/n??" she was sitting at the table, picking at the muffin in front of her.

"W-Whatdoyou mean?" He tried not to show his excitement that people assumed you were his.

"She means that now that L/n isn't here you might not be in the best shape." It was Derek, you could tell by the hint of charisma in his voice that he was grinning.

"I-I can function without y/n!" He was blushing now, as Emily and Derek side-eyed one another, responding to him by scrunching their eyebrows and nodding sarcastically.

You on the other hand were elated, you loved they assumed you were his, you'd had a crush on him since you joined the team.

Derek now walked over to him, putting a rough hand on his shoulder, "Pretty boy can you ask her out already? Cause the googley eyes we have to put up with on the daily is getting repetitive.”

Emily almost spits out her coffee as Spencer begins to malfunction, but she finds breath to add on her own, "Don't get me started on when I had to walk around with you two lovebirds on the last case! It was like I was the side character in your romcom."

You can her them both crack up over her joke, teasing Spencer all the more about his crush.

After they've collected themselves he asks, "D-Do you think she likes me back?"

They collectively groan at his question, Derek like the big brother he is to Spence speaks up first, "Of course she does man, that girl would follow you to ends of the earth. And that's a long way considering you probably know exactly-"

"Twenty four million, nine hundred and one thousand point four hundred and sixty one miles." He cuts in dutifully expressing once more how many absurd facts he knows.

Emily tries to reassure him as Derek shakes his head, "Just ask her, I know Y/n and she would say yes to a date with you!”

And yes oh yes you think, you would say yes twenty four million, nine hundred and one thousand times if it meant you'd get a date with Spencer.

Sadly he sits down before you get your assurance that he'd be doing so. Effectively hanging up on accident, leaving you wondering if he'd get the nerve before you die of this cold.

But you text him anyway asking him to come over, if he didn't ask soon you guessed you'd just have to do it yourself.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid x reader #junipers-archive #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x you

[mshalfemptygirl]

The Prince Agent (S.R)

Plot: Reader is called to help Spencer with a case and things get too cute.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Dr!Fem!Reader

Contents: Really quicky mention to kidnapping and lots of fuffy

A/N: guys it’s my first fic, so let me know if you guys liked it, if you need a part 2. There are some translations at the end for you to understand the fic. Just give support and love. Thank you very much. Enjoy! 

I never knew exactly where linguistics was going to take me, but this is too much. I was at the police station, dressed an updated version of what it was meant to be Mary Stuart all because I helped my teacher with an Scotch Language Class this afternoon. You know, I'm in the postdoctoral program and sometimes we need to help our teacher and that's mean look ridiculous when they ask you to do a "favor" to them. So, I'm here, next to the door, feeling lost and angry for not have time to change my outfit. They said that just need to find an Agent called Dr. Spencer Reid to translate a little girl who was saved by the team. It gonna be easy, but no.

I notice that there is a man looking at me, he’s next to bullpens with some paper in his right hand. He is tall and very handsome by the way. In fact, he's wearing a tie that makes him look really HOT but I can't think about those things at such a delicate moment like this, I need to focus. I walked towards him, looking at the floor because in addition to the long dress, I was wearing high heels and I didn't want to embarrass myself in the middle of the police station. When I stopped in front of him, he put the papers on the table and gave me a small smile.

“Excuse me, where can I find Dr. Spencer Reid?” I returned the smile, wishing it was him.

“Well, right here. I’m Dr Spencer Reid, nice to meet you. You should be Dr. Y/N L/N. Or maybe Princess Y/N L/N?” he give me a big smile. “Can you follow me?” I felt my face burn, he was making fun of me and it made me a thousand times more nervous. I start follow him to the hallway with many rooms, the walls were white and light blue, there is a clock on the wall.

“Sorry, I didn’t have time for change. And It supposed to be Mary Stuart. So it’s Queen Y/N L/N”. He nodded while he run his hand over his hair. He stopped to think about something. Even nervous, I can't take my eyes off him. “Did you know that Mary became Queen of Scots at only six days of age and Mary’s last night was spent drafting an elaborate will in which all her servants were remembered. On the day of her execution, she appeared in her customary black cloak and with a white veil over her head and she then dropped the cloak to reveal a crimson red dress?” he ask me, I can see the excited in his face. I couldn't help but smile big, he's so endearing, so cute. I think he's trying to make me more comfortable.

“Yes!!! And she also was the first woman to practice golf in Scotland. She even caused a scandal when she was seen playing the game at St Andrews within days of her husband Darnley's murder. She was a such badass, I like her” I said. Then I remember about the little girl, they must have been in a hurry to help her. “But Dr. Reid, changing the subject, can we talk about the little girl? What you want me to do?” the expression on his face changed from a happy face to a worried one.

He explained to me that she was only 6 years old, she is physically fine and she was rescued from a kidnapping a few hours ago, they couldn't find her family and they couldn't ask her questions because she only speaks Portuguese. That's why they called me. It looks like his team has been looking into this possible unsub for months. Well, now I'm more relieved to be dressed like this, she deserves a good time in the middle of this chaos, I hope she likes princesses. Doctor Reid will walk me into the room so I can be the bridge between him and Mila.

I was the first to enter the room, there were some children's things on a table in the corner of the room. In the center of the room was a shaggy green rug and a table. Mila was drawing on the table, she had her back to me, focused on drawing and there is another blonde woman in the room with her, it must be another agent. She got up and wished him good luck. I looked at him and he nodded for me to start.

"Oi Mila, me falaram que tinha uma princesa por aqui” ¹ she looked at me and took to give me a hug. She got really excited saying several things at the same time, I sat with her on the floor and she played with my hair. That's when she realized that Dr. Reid was in the room and her face was etched with fear. “Mila, ele não vai te fazer mal, ele é muito legal! Sabe, o nome dele é Spencer e ele é meu principe. Ele é meu cavaleiro que me protege de coisas ruins e ele protege princesas como você também. Então ele não vai te fazer mal. Okay?” ²

She waved at me and I gave her a smile. I called Spencer over and he sat on the other side of the table. I translated for him what I said to her and it was like that for 40 minutes. Mila was no longer afraid of him, she gave as much information as possible about the man who took her and she also talked about her family. When she was scared, she squeezed my hand really tight and I told her that everything was going to be alright. Now, she going to draw two drawings for us. “Y/N, I will pass the information for Agent Garcia so she can start the search. You helped a lot. Thank you. Can you stay with her?" I nodded to him. “Mila, diz “Bye, Spencer”, ele precisa ir agora” ³.

“NÃO! Ele tem que dar um presente para você. Ele é seu principe, não é? Vocês tem que casar e viver felizes para sempre” ⁴ At that moment my heart beat faster. Holy shit, how was I going to translate this to him?! I can feel the presure. If I was avoiding embarrassing myself, now is the time. She was looking for something in the toy box, she walked to Spencer and gave him a plastic ring. She just pointed at the ring and then at me. We looked at each other not knowing what to do. I was in PANIC. “Spencer, I think she wants us to get married. You don’t have to. Sorry, I can explain to her that...”.  

“Oh, don't worry, I can give you the ring. Give me your left hand" I held out my hand to him and when he touched me I feel a good feeling. His hand are so soft. Looking right into Mila's face who seemed very happy with our misfortune. "Right, we are married. I’m married to a queen. I have to go now but can we talk after this, my lady?" he said after kissing the ring on my hand. Damn, he obviously has a hold on me."Yes, we can, Prince Agent Reid". Then I give him a smirk and he left the room. I show Mila my hand, she was happy for the first time in days and I was thinking how lucky I would be if this fairytale were true.

1 Hi Mila, someone told me there was a princess around here.

2 Mila, he won't hurt you, he's really nice! You know, his name is Spencer and he's my prince. He is my knight who protects me from bad things and he protects princesses like you too. So he won't hurt you. OK?.

3 Mila, say “Bye Spencer”, he needs to go.

4 NO! He has to give you a gift. He's your prince, isn't he? You have to get married and live happily ever after.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x fem!readr #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds #spencer reid fandom #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid you #dr spencer reid

[chrisevansleftpeck]

Winter Stubble

Word Count: 816

Content Warnings: Kissing, cheeky comments ;)

(only good ones of him with more facial hair were him in prison being a sad boi so lets all pretend this gif is accurate for my sake)

You pressed your ear against Spencer’s chest, relaxing into him further. You and Spence were snuggled up together on his couch, the large, cotton, flannel-pattern blanket you bought him for Christmas draped across the both of you. It matched his apartment well and incorporated the same shade of brown as one of his leather lounging chairs. 

“This is good. Really, really nice.” Spencer threw his head back against the arm of his couch, wrapping you in his toned arms. You could tell he was still exhausted, beaten down from the case he had to work almost immediately after Christmas. 

You snuck a peek in, looking up at him from his chest. You watched his eyes fight to try to stay awake and the fluffy, sleepy mess his hair was in. He looked back at you, causing you to giggle and bury your face back into his chest.

“Hi.” He said, a big smile on his face. He scooted further down the couch so his head wasn’t thrown back and hanging off anymore. Spencer was quick to wrap his arms back around you again and placed a kiss on your head. 

You finally looked up at him again, giving in to the urge to give him a real kiss. Your arms came up from around his waist where you’d been hugging, up to his face. You cupped his cheeks and pulled him into you. 

“Ooh.” You sounded short and quick, confused. 

Spencer kissed you again, “Something wrong?” He asked as you signaled for him to sit straight up so you could sit in his lap. You wrapped your legs around him and held his face again. 

You thumbed over Spencer’s new stubble, grown in over break. He usually had stubble over his face and mustache area, but this was darker and fuller than usual. “Prickly.” You giggled. Spencer shook his head in your hands to release himself. You threw an inescapable hug at him, rocking in his lap. “You need a haircut.” You poked at him, also noticing his hair.

“I know, it requires a lot more shampoo now.” Spencer laughed, running his fingers through his messy hair. 

You continued running your fingers across his beard, “Now you get my struggle. Soft hair is expensive.” He grabbed a piece of your hair and twirled it around your finger as you spoke. 

“Want me to shave it, the beard? I can have a baby face again for a few days.” He offered, knowing he wanted to kiss you more than anything, but didn’t want to make it uncomfortable for you. 

“Hmm,” You thought, studying his face again. “Kiss me some more, then I’ll decide how I like it.” You whispered, practically into his lips. 

 “Yes, ma’am.” You kissed him slowly and deeply, humming into him against the feeling of his facial hair tickling your chin and lips. You felt him shift beneath you, trying to hide the growing feeling in his pants. You were practically on top of it, making it very difficult for you, too, to ignore. “I like this a shit ton, personally.” 

You couldn’t help but pull away and laugh. You could always tell when Spencer was really into something because he’d make a very unfiltered, un-Spencer-like comment. However, your pulling away didn’t stop him. He simply switched to place his lips on your neck. 

He hovered over your neck for a moment, “You’re going to laugh a lot in a second aren’t you?” Spencer looked up at you and asked with a smile on his face.

You nodded, “It’s gonna tickle so badly, oh my god. Get it over with, do it.” You joked, closing your eyes tightly and wrinkling your nose. 

“Okay.” Spencer warned you once more before going in. He placed a slow, sweet kiss on your neck. Your face softened at it in a way you didn’t expect. It almost felt good. No, it did feel good. Ticklish, of course, but it was the side of your neck so it was easy to get past the feeling. 

The continuation of rougher kisses against your neck left your lips parting unintentionally. You didn’t even realize it until Spencer stopped, running his thumb over the mark he left on your neck. “Sorry, the surrounding skin is a little more red than usual.”

“Oh, um, yeah.” You said playing with your hair, smiling at Spencer. 

Spencer studied your face for a minute. “You liked it.” He called you out, reading your smile easily. 

You attempted to hide your face in your hands, but Spencer was able to peel them away. “Hey Spence,” You whispered to him, now running your hands through his hair again, trying to nonchalantly work him up a little bit more. “I’d like to know how that feels in other places now.” 

“Let’s get to it, then.” Spencer said, pushing you back on the couch with a surge of passionate energy.

#criminal minds #criminalminds #criminal minds fanfic #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #spencer reid #spencerreid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x reader #fluff #fanfiction #fanfic #domestic fluff

[fdelopera]

I've been thinking about one of the antisemitic canards that some of you goyim like to shout at us Jews. It goes something like this: "LOL looks like the Jews are becoming like the the Nazis, haha."

And I've been thinking about why you goyim are so incredibly grotesque when you say this about us Jews.

Is it because you are knowingly weaponizing the Holocaust, our greatest tragedy, against us? Yes, that's part of it.

Is it because you are being intellectually deceitful bigots? Yes, that's part of it.

Is it because your bigotry and antisemitism are delegitimizing the Palestinian cause, and making it harder for the Palestinian people to fight for their freedom? Yes, that's a BIG part of it.

But I think the most disturbing part of this lie is where you goys got it from.

Especially you leftist goys.

You got this lie from the Neo-Nazi, Richard Spencer.

You know, the Nazi who famously got punched in the face.

You also got this lie from the Neo-Nazi, David Duke.

Richard Spencer was one of the first white supremacists who popularized weaponizing the Holocaust and Nazism against Jewish people in this way (all while being a whole-ass Nazi himself). He uses logical fallacies and political theatre to advance alt-right ideas.

But then you goyim on the political left got ahold of Richard Spencer's talking points. You copied the homework of an actual Nazi, and ran with his ideas, and here we are.

You leftist goys have been secretly listening in on Nazis for fucks sake!! Despite knowing full well that they HATE people of color. Despite knowing full well that they HATE queer people. Despite knowing full well that they HATE Muslims. Nazis want everyone who isn't a white, cishet, right-wing Christian to fucking DIE, for fucks sake.

Richard Spencer and David Duke stand for EVERYTHING YOU HATE!

Except, apparently, for hating Jews.

You leftist goys have been going to YouTube and listening to Nazi lectures. You've been plugging your ears when Nazis say HIDEOUS things about every other marginalized group, but then when they start talking about Jews, you copy their white supremacist talking points VERBATIM.

How DARE you steal your ideas from Nazis. You are DISGUSTING.

There are so many VALID and LEGITIMATE ways you can protest against the Israeli government and their atrocities and war crimes. There are so many VALID and LEGITIMATE ways you can protest the actions of the Israeli military.

But when you steal your ideas from Nazis, you make it clear that you don't give a SHIT about the Palestinian people.

When you steal your ideas from Nazis, you make it clear that the ONLY thing you care about is seeing Jews get murdered.

YOU HAVE BECOME USEFUL IDIOTS FOR THE NEO-NAZIS AND WHITE SUPREMACISTS.

Great job, goys.

God. You make me so, so tired.

#jumblr #judaism #jewblr #can leftist goys stop copying their homework from nazis challenge #by stealing your ideas from nazis you are hurting the palestinian people and making it harder to advance the cause for palestinian freedom #and i write this as a jew on the left ... who is part of a long tradition of jews on the left #antisemitism tw #nazis tw #NOTE - I report and block antisemites. If any antisemites comment on this post you will be reported and blocked. You have been warned.

[buckybarnesb-tch]

Franken/Kyle Spencer NSFW A-Z

A = Aftercare (What they're like after sex)

•Kyle loves taking care of you, he thinks it's his job

•No matter what or how much you do he will hold you tight, borderline too tight just trying to keep you close and make sure you're alright

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

•Kyle doesn't have a favorite body part of his, he actually has quite a few issues with the body he lives in, considering most of it isn't his

•Kyle loves every single inch of you, he adores holding your hands, lives for kissing your lips and would kill just to squeeze your ass one last time before death

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically... I'm a disgusting person)

•Kyle loves finishing on you, he's practically hard wired (even post death) as a frat boy not to finish inside of you, even if he loves that too

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

•He tries to hide how much he wants to throw you around

•Kyle has had problems with his strength and he's afraid to hurt you, however he wants more than anything to pin you down and have his way with you

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they're doing?)

•As a frat boy he had enough experience, though he also had quite a bit of trauma

•He has to relearn quite a lot and while he knows what he's doing he has to relearn how to be gentle, slow, careful, or whatever you need from him, though he's entirely worth it

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying)

•Kyles favorite position is missionary, he wants to see your face and gage your reactions, he loves knowing that he's making you feel as good as he does, it makes him feel accomplished, that he's done his job taking care of you

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

•Once he gets comfortable with you he can have moments of goofy, borderline childishness when trying to make you laugh or smile

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

•He's trimmed but he doesn't do anything more than that

•The hair on his head however is messy and adorable at all times

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect...)

•It takes him a while to get romance, he wasn't bad at it before he died but relearning that took a bit of time for him

•Once he gets the hang of it, he thrives at giving you the romantic nights and making you feel special

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

•Always

•Loves It

•Constantly!!

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

•Anal-is a big one that Kyle begs to try for a while before you give in

•Switch-Kyle loves being in charge with you but he also enjoys it when you take control and tell him what to do

L = Location (Favorite places to do the deed)

•Kyle prefers a bed, your bed

•He doesn't like others looking at you so being anywhere but your room doesn't happen a lot at all

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

•Kyle almost seems like a teenager discovering sex for the first time every day

•He doesn't need motivation, he's always ready and waiting for you

N = NO (Something they wouldn't do, turn offs)

•Anything that causes you pain

•Kyle already has trouble when it comes to hurting people and animals, his strength is a major issue and hurting you is something he's terrified of doing so please don't ask him to

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

•Giving

•Kyle loves hearing the sounds you make when he goes down on you, it may be his favorite thing in the world

•If you allowed him to he would do it for hours and never stop for air, listening to your whimpers and squeals, holding down your twitching hips

•God he loves the taste of your pussy

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

•He was very fast at first, feeling the need to rut into you frantically until you slowed him

•He actually quite enjoys slow, passionate sex, watching the expressions on your face change is fascinating to him learning what movements make you scrunch up your nose adorably or make you moan like an overzealous porn star

•Fast, slow, rough, sensual, whatever you need that day is what Kyle will give you, he wants to please you however you need, he has a need to make you happy after everything you’ve done to take care of him…and he loves your pussy with a passion

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

•Everyday

•All the time

•Sometimes living in a school for witches you only have 5 minutes here and there and Kyle is determined to always make the most of them

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

•He enjoys trying new things with you and he'll try just about anything you want

•You only ever risked doing it anywhere but your room once though, Kyle hates the idea of people seeing your body

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last...)

•He has a crazy amount of stamina

•Kyle can last for several hours before he even needs a break let alone has to call it quits

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

•He's not a huge fan of toys but he'll give them a try if you want him to

•He likes your vibrator, placing it against your clit while he fucks you gives you both an ungodly amount of pleasure

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

•Every once in a while Kyle will tease you but he's more of a dive straight into it sort of guy

•His foreplay was abysmal in the beginning but he got much better at it knowing how happy it made you

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

•Kyle is definitely a grunter

•He's not usually all that loud but if he gets lost in the moment he can really get there

W = Wild Card (Get a random Headcanon for the character of your choice)

•Kyle surprised you with how snuggly he is, especially with how angry and growly he is all the time

•He loves resting his head on your belly and wrapping his arms around you, curling up and loving the feel of you playing with his hair

•Your personal Frankenstein is adorable

X = X-Ray (Let's see what's going on in those pants, picture or words)

•6 1/2 inches

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

•Kyle has a high sex drive, he's always desperate for you and you don't make it easy on him

•Every time you wear those cute shorts that can’t even be called pants he's so hard it hurts and so needy for you

Z = ZZZ (... how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

•It's rare that he falls asleep before you considering his stamina however when he does you enjoy just watching him for a bit

•Usually you fall asleep before him and Kyle is quick to snuggle you against his chest and nuzzle his face into your hair

•He takes these kinds of moments to thank whatever deity exists in the world for letting him come back and experience true happiness with you

#ahs #american horror coven #american horror story #ahs coven #new orleans #ahs witches #kyle spencer #franken kyle #ahs Kyle Spencer #kyle spencer imagine #kyle spencer x reader #kyle spencer x y/n #kyle spencer x you #Kyle Spencer x oc #Headcanon #nsfwalphabet #ahs fandom #ahs fanfic #American horror story imagine #evan peters #evan peters imagine #witches #witch imagine #ahs headcanons #kyle spencer smut #kyle spencer fluff #Kyle Spencer fic

[lola-babylon]

Running the numbers on Brendon, Ryan, and owning the Panic! at the Disco legacy

Some people are a bit upset that Brendon Urie continued performing as PATD after Jon & Ryan left, or after Spencer & Dallon left. One of the primary criticisms you see floating around is that, by using the Panic name for his solo career from 2015-2023. Brendon was profiting off of Ryan's legacy as the main songwriter on the early albums.

Let's dig into that, especially the "profit" bit.

I've seen jokes about Ryan Ross working retail now cause he's broke. We don't know what Ryan does with his days and it's none of our business unless he chooses to share that information publicly, but AFYCSO alone has been certified 4x Platinum in the US, having sold 4 million copies. Ryan, being the main songwriter on the album, would one hopes receive a decent income stream for the royalties and has no need to work a job he doesn't want to pay the bills (recording contracts are usually a Kafkaesque nightmare, but hopefully they had a decent contract where the artists get a fair share of royalties, that it isn't all chewed up by record companies).

But if you look at the album sales over time, this is where it gets interesting.

(well, interesting to a stats and facts wonk)

Here's the Recording Industry of America's certification record for AFYCSO - you can check for yourself here

The album went platinum, meaning sales of a million copies, in 2006, a year after it was released. It took another 9 years for the album to double that figure, selling 2 million copies by 2015 and achieving 2x platinum. But then things took off, with AFYCSO reaching 4 million sales by June 2023 and the resulting 4x platinum certification.

But what stands out here is this - AFYCSO was released in 2005. And fully half of all sales of AFYCSO took place after 2015.

2015 was the year that Panic became a solo project of Brendon Urie's. It also marked the start of the period of some of the band's highest sales since the early days, including their first number one charting album, a second number one album, and (Jebus, please save us from) the single "High Hopes". And Brendon toured extensively - musicians used to tour to encourage people to buy their albums; now that most music is digital musicians rely touring as their largest source of income, which is one of the reasons why a ticket to see Led Zeppelin on their 1975 U.S. tour cost $31 adjusted for inflation to 2023 dollars, but seeing any decently sized musical act in concert these days will set you back well over $100 and that's just for starters.

(I told you I was a stats wonk).

Anyway, through all that work, Brendon was using the Panic name, sure. Was he entitled to? That's not my point here. What he was doing was keeping the Panic name in the public mind, entertaining old fans and winning new ones (not my thing, but again that's not my point) and in those years, those fans purchased 2 million copies of AFYCSO, and as the main songwriter on the album Ryan has received the largest share of the royalties from those sales. Ryan earned and was entitled to that money, of course, but would AFYCSO have sold two million copies between 2015 and 2023 if Brendon had retired the Panic name and continued as a solo artist?

Let's be realistic. No.

When people heard High Hopes or any of the other post split music, they were hearing a Panic at the Disco song. If they liked it, they'd look up the artist Panic at the Disco, find the band's earlier work, and buy/stream it. If they'd heard High Hopes as a Brendon Urie song, and looked up the artist Brendon Urie, is it likely they'd have followed the bread crumb trail, learned about this now defunct band called Panic at the Disco Brendon used to be in, and bought that band's stuff too?

We could go back to 2004/2005 and debate whether Panic would have made it as big as they did back then without Ryan's songwriting skills and determined online hustling of the band. Or without Brendon's vocals and stage presence, or Spencer's creative vision for their image and live performances. Or without that they were all so young, they were just crazy brave enough to put their all into the band when if they'd been only a few years older, they might have been worried about the future enough to stay in or go to college, or train as a hairdresser or whatever. Or for that matter whether they had all that, and the right sound at the right time, and made the right connections, oh and they weren't exactly bad looking. There's so many reasons bands do or don't make it. Just talent is never enough. Trying to work out which parts of Panic's early success were due to the respective talents of Ryan, Spencer, and/or Brendon nearly 20 years on is like trying to unscramble an egg (even Brent paid a role, through the loans his parents provided to help pay for the band's practice space and van for the early tours). But it's unrealistic to say Panic was a success solely because of Ryan or that Brendon trampled all over that to get to the top solo. Either way....

Brendon Urie continuing as Panic has been, financially, very benefical for Ryan. Brendon continuing with the Panic name has meant AFYCSO was from 2015-2023 the first album of a very successful currently touring act, and not a footnote to Brendon Urie's career from his now defunct first band (I don't see it that way at all - this post is about album sales and money, not artistic integrity). And Ryan has received the royalties from albums that would never have been sold if PATD officially disbanded in 2009 or 2013 or whatever.

And whilst Ryan has been at home restoring antique cuckoo clocks or whatever he chooses to do, Brendon's been missing his family, home, and dogs, getting up at 4am to catch flights, living out of suitacses, answering inane interview questions, sleeping on tour buses and wondering what country he's in today - and, indirectly, making Ryan money. If Ryan only cared about money he probably would have continued on with Panic past 2009, but I'm sure the royalties he's received since 2015 haven't been a burden either. I'm not saying Ryan owes Brendon anything, he doesn't, and Brendon only lived that life because he loved it, or thought the performing bit made it all worth it (along with making a bunch of money for himself).

This post has focused on AFYCSO, though of course Ryan also gets royalties from Pretty. Odd, which has had a long overdue reappraisal from audiences who realise it's really fucking good. (I'll use the correct punctuation this once, but there was no way I was going to add an exclamation point every time I typed the word panic). Anyway, crunching the numbers on one album was enough. But Brendon didn't profit off of Ryan's legacy by continuing as Panic. It's been very profitable for them both.

#brendon urie #ryan ross #panic at the disco #a fever you can't sweat out #afycso #p!atd #pre split panic #panic! at the disco #spencer smith

[eideticallys]

On Almost Kisses & Bruised Foreheads

pairing: spencer reid x reader

summary: “what’s going on?” the blonde woman asked slyly. “penelope just sent a group text saying you and spence tried to make out and failed so now you both have matching bruises.”

genre: fluff

word count: 1.4k

author's notes: i'm back to original programming (writing for spencer). i laughed a lot writing this. i hope you do too while reading this one. enjoy! also posted on ao3 (spencereids).

YOU’D LIKE TO THINK THAT YOU ARE A MATURE AND RESPONSIBLE PERSON. You’d like to think that you are mature enough to not worry about a little blemish—a bruise, if we’re being honest. You work for the FBI for Pete’s sake! So, ending up with a giant bruise on your forehead was something you already anticipated. But getting a bruise due to the most embarrassing reason is something you never thought you’d experience. You’ve been on the receiving end of a couple of injuries after scuffles with unsubs. Of course, you weren’t new to scratches. But this? A massive purple splotch on your forehead caused by a drunken mistake takes the cake. Your coworkers would have a field day on this one once they find out why.

You were taking your sweet time walking out of the elevator when you heard a dramatic gasp from none other than your most gossipy coworker, Penelope Garcia. You love the woman. You do! She’s one of your best friends in the world. You just wished she wasn’t so curious and chatty. You don’t want everyone in the office to know your business and the lore behind your bruised forehead.

“My beautiful baby angel!” Garcia shrieked. “What happened to your forehead? Whose life am I going to ruin for hurting your pretty face? I can just look up their digital footprint and have it sen—“

“I’m fine, Pen,” You laughed. Penelope may be a big gossip but she’s the most thoughtful and caring person ever, right after another colleague of yours.  “It’s nothing. My phone fell on my face after I had to turn off my alarm while half asleep.”

“You sure?” Your friend clarified. “Because I can ruin their life truly. I’m not even kidding right now.”

“I know that,” You smiled endearingly at your sweet friend. “And I love you for that.”

You hugged Penelope and kissed her cheek as she started mumbling about how you were protecting the person who hurt you, vowing to know who it was. Oh, you were protecting someone, just not who Penelope expected it to be. And the injury was not because of you snoozing your alarm half-asleep.

Technical analyst down, five profilers to go.

You wish it’d be that easy to fool them.

“What’s going on here?”

Both of you turned and faced none other than the biggest jokester on the team, Derek Morgan. You think fooling Penelope was hard? Try fooling Morgan. As much of a prankster he is, he’s one of the greatest profilers you’ve worked with. Don’t let his well-built body fool you because he isn’t just a typical jock. Derek’s mind was as sharp as a steel trap.

“Nothing,” You retorted, trying to prevent Derek from seeing your forehead. “What? I can’t hug my favorite member of the team now?”

“Hey!” Derek exclaimed. “I thought I was your favorite member of the team. You know, when I bought you your coffee last week?”

“It’s expired. Sorry, buddy.” You huffed sassily, patting Derek’s shoulder, absolutely eager to leave the man behind with Penelope when he easily grabbed your arm before you could escape. “Buy me another cup of coffee and we can talk about it.”

“Did someone hurt you?” Derek interrogated, his jaw hardening as he saw the shiner you were sporting. “Who did this to you? I swear to Go—”

Before you could reply and “explain” the bump you had, Emily came bounding into your little group circle, laughing about some boo-boo Spencer was parading around. She failed to observe the serious atmosphere between you, Derek, and Penelope as she went on and on about the purple splotch on Spencer’s face until she noticed the lack of response from all three of you. 

“Did you guys even hear what I just said?” Emily probed, giggling as she tried to share Spencer’s unfortunate tale. “Reid has a shiner on his forehead the size of Texas.”

You stared at your shoes pointedly, scratching the side of your forehead where the bruise was, avoiding everyone’s stare before they could put two and two together.

“What’s up with you?” 

At this point, you were sweating buckets, hoping Emily wouldn’t notice the welt on your temple, which may or may not match the one on Spencer’s forehead. You slowly backed away to avoid the three people in front of you when you bumped into someone. Turning, you saw none other than the one person you hoped not to bump into today out of all days because then, the whole team would know what was going on.

“H-hey Spence!” You cheerfully greeted, pretending everything was normal. Pretending that having a bruise that mirrored the other person’s bruise was normal for coworkers like you. “Everything okay?”

You were about to continue rambling to deflect the questions both you and Spencer were about to get bombarded with when all three of your teammates started gasping dramatically. A chorus of  “Oh my god!”,  “No way!”, and “My man” coming out of their mouths.

You facepalmed and grunted when you accidentally hit your temple as Spencer frowned, not registering the reactions you were getting from your other coworkers. “Are you okay? Did you put an ice pack on your bruise for ten to twenty minutes? You must ice an injury during the first twenty-four to forty-eight hours as it eases the inflammation.”

“I’m fine,” You assured Spencer to prevent him from rambling on and on. He tends to do that when he’s worried. It’s endearing but right now? You didn’t need him to divulge any more details that could help the others construct the whole picture together. “I did everything you told me to last night.”

“Last night?!” Penelope screeched behind you. “Weren’t we all together last night? We were at O’Keefe’s and then—Oh! Boy Wonder took you home after one too many drinks. Oh my god! Are you guys dating? Did you have se—” 

Emily placed a palm on Penelope’s face and muffled her screeching before she could cause a scandal on the entire floor while Derek was laughing uncontrollably now, slapping his thigh like what Penelope just said was the funniest thing in the world. 

“My man,” Morgan whistled, smirking at Spencer who still looked confused as ever. You were full-on scowling right now, willing the earth to swallow you whole, or maybe the three members of the team who were nagging you and Spencer  “I didn’t know you had it in you to spend a late night with anyone else other than your books.”

“Shut up!” You cried while Spencer sputtered.

“W-what? N-no!” The brunette interjected, blushing like crazy now. “I didn’t spend the night at her house,” He pointed at you. “We didn’t do anything! We just, you know, almost kissed. That’s all.” Spencer muttered as he scratched the back of his neck.

“Is that why you both have that huge welt on your foreheads?” Emily wheezed. “ You didn’t even get to kiss. You just banged your foreheads together and called it a day. Oh my god! Wait till Rossi hears this one.”

“Emily!” You shrieked. “Get back here!”

As you tried to chase after the woman who was off like a jet, Penelope and Derek were snickering like little kids trying to text JJ, your other teammate, who hadn’t arrived yet. 

“Are you okay?”

You turned to see JJ who had just arrived looking confused as to why both you and Spencer were red in the face, you in indignation, and Spencer in embarrassment. 

“What’s going on?” The blonde woman asked slyly. “Penelope just sent a group text saying you and Spence tried to make out and failed so now you both have matching bruises.”

“Not you too!” You groaned as JJ cackled, pulling Garcia and Derek away from you and Spencer.

“I’m sorry,” Spencer broke the silence once both of you were alone. “If I didn’t head butt you, we wouldn’t be sporting these massive bruises.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “For what it’s worth, at least we’re matching. Who else gets to say that?”

Spencer smiled softly and stared at your lips. It seemed time stood still, and you wanted nothing more than to have a repeat of last night—a much better version of last night, of course. You were slowly moving towards each other when you heard someone tittering. 

“Oh my god! The kids are about to kiss.”

“Wait a minute, Spence” You held the brunette’s shoulders, stepped back, and turned to your side. Your four other teammates were now giggling like kids in the schoolyard. “Get out!”

They all scrambled right after guffawing.

Maybe maturity was something the FBI should add to their requirements when hiring new agents. The BAU was full of juvenile delinquents.

#criminal minds #criminal minds fandom #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid #spencer reid fandom #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst #spencer reid smut #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x oc #spencer reid x self insert #penelope garcia #derek morgan #emily prentiss #jennifer jareau #criminal minds fic

[c-m-stuff]

The Swing Kings

Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

-Description: You and Spencer are engaged. When you had to give up the perfect wedding dress in order for him getting his band, it didn't go unnoticed by Spencer.

-Warnings: Fluffiness, language

-Word count: 834

-Request: Part 2 on where reader is sad about the dress and Spencer finding out she gave up the dress for his band. (here)

-Note: Hi y'all! Normally, I don't do part 2s, but this time I made an exception for the anon who requested it. I tried to make it so, that you can also read it apart. But, if you want to read it in parts, part 1 would be "Wedding Dress". This is also based on a Friends episode. Hope you enjoy and thank you! Friends - 7x17

Masterlist

Y/N POV:

What have I done? I gave up the perfect wedding dress, because my soon to be husband wants The Swing Kings on our wedding, and if I didn't gave my wedding dress to that bitch, she would book the band. Yes, this all happened in one day. Although, I didn't regret my decision of giving up the dress, hearing the confesion Spencer had made:

'It's just while (Y/N) and I were dancing to them... It was the first time I knew that... You were the woman that I wanted to dance all my dances with.'

It had absolutely melted my heart and I knew then, that I had to give up the dress. I was okay with it, cause the way his eyes light up at my statement that I booked them, made every fiber in my body fill with love.

Despite all this, I couldn't help but was still a bit sad. I was absolutely over the moon with the dress, loving every inch of it. But I was more than happy to give it up just to see that bashful smile on the face of my fiance.

When the days passed, I found myself thinking less about it everyday. I even made a new appointment to shop for a new wedding dress. But, when one night, when Spencer and I just laid in the comfort of our bed, I could see his brain going 1000 miles a minute.

'What's wrong, love?' I asked, facing him, my hand finding his and giving it a slight squeeze.

'I just- I just can't stop thinking about that dress. I know there got to be another reason than the dress doesn't fitting well. It fit perfect. You looked absolutely perfect.' damn it, I forgot he was a profiler.

'Spence, I-'

'And don't get me wrong, if you don't want the dress or it actually doesn't fit that well, then there is absolutely no pressure. I just got a feeling you weren't completely honest with me.' he continued, looking at me with hurtful eyes. I felt guilty for lying to him. No one should lie to each other, especially not to the love of your life. So, I took a deep breath, ready to tell the truth.

'I'm sorry, Spence, I shouldn't have lied. But when we were in the store the other day, I met a woman, Meghan, who I told about the big sale in Kleinman's. She then showed up and wanted to steal my dress, which already was in my hand, and I just ran off and bought it. When we were back, she called me and said she would book The Swing Kings, which I told her you wanted, unless I give her the dress. I'm sorry.' he has been listening carefully to every word I spoke, his facial expressions softened, and I could see a glimpse of guilt and disbelief.

'You- you gave up your dress for me?' I nodded, and before I could say something else, I was squeezed into a tight hug.

I hugged back, hiding my face in the crook of his neck, while he placed sweet kisses on mine.

'I don't know what to say. Thank you, thank you so much for caring about me. I don't know what I did to deserve you but I am thanking every star in the universe who made me meeting you.' his words melted my heart once again. Ending the hug, I made sure to look him deep in the eyes as to let him see the meaningfullness of my next words:

'You did absolutely everything to deserve me. I love you Spencer Reid.' a blush mixed with a sweet smile took over his face, before squeezing my hands.

'And I love you, soon to be (Y/N) Reid.'

We shared a loving kiss, followed by an even tighter hug. The psychical affection was exactly what we both needed.

'Still too bad for the dress, though. You looked absolutely gorgeous in it.'

'Well, I rather have a meaningful band than a not meaningful dress.' I stated, speaking fully the truth.

'I am sure you will find a new dress. And I am even more sure, that you will look beautiful in it.'

_________________________

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[spencersties]

Distraction - S. R.

Gif is by @fightingdragonswithwho

A/N: Hi, here's the delayed one shot I promised a couple of days ago, hope you guys enjoy it. Also, writing in Spencer's is always so much more fun to me for some reason.

Content/Warnings: meet-cute ish?, sleep deprived spencer (what's new there), fluff

Word count: 839

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spencer hadn’t slept very well. he couldn’t explain why. it wasn’t the usual case of nightmares that endured after what he considered to be a failed case, or the too big an interest in a book that had him telling himself he’d only read one more chapter before being swept up in reading for hours. last night, his thoughts just seemed to…not shut off. it was as though they had found a mind of their own, messy and unpleasantly constant.

it usually wouldn’t have been that big of a problem, spencer was no stranger to being unable to get a good night’s rest, partially because of his own mind, and partially because of his job. however, this time, the thoughts hadn’t shut off after the sun rose and he made himself the first cup of coffee for the day. if anything, they had gotten stronger, louder. he was starting to think about whether his attention would be good enough to deal with the day and the surely nasty case ahead.

as he walked up to the overly familiar elevator doors of the FBI headquarters in virginia, he did his best to snap himself out of it. tried to focus on one thing at a time.

the elevator. the first elevator was built back in the 18th century, 1743 to be exact, for king louis XV of france, it was human powered and counter weighted and…

his thought trailed off as a reminder of the tasks he had been slacking off doing around his house popped into his brain instead. followed up by a list of books he had recently bought and not yet gotten around to reading. a recollection of the book he read last night. singular. because he was distracted.

just like he was right now.

shit.

if it kept on going like this, spencer wouldn’t be able to get through the day while being of any real use to the team.

what he needed was an all-consuming distraction. something to focus on when his mind started to inevitably wander throughout the day.

the doors to the elevator finally opened and spencer stepped in, huffing out a tired breath as he pressed the button for the 6th floor, followed by the one marked ‘CLOSE DOORS’. of course, the doors didn’t even budge.

he rubbed his eyes and pressed the button again. and again. and again. until eventually he was repeatedly pressing an elevator button with furrowed brows and an annoyed glint in his eyes. just as the doors finally began to close, he saw you.

you were rushing towards the elevator, a satchel bag that matched his slung over one shoulder.

“hold the doors please.” you called out as you neared him.

he blinked, confused at your presence for a moment, and reached out his hand, halting the doors’ slow movement and causing them to open back up.

you stumbled into the small metal box, slightly out of breath and looked at the keypad of elevator floor buttons before clicking on the number 6 even though it was already pressed.

then you looked at spencer. he noticed your eyes first, they seemed to sparkle to him for some reason. he rubbed at his own eyes, making sure his overworked and over exhausted wasn’t imagining things. before he had the chance to inspect you more thoroughly, you began to speak.

“nice bag.” you were looking at the satchel bag on his own shoulder, a small smile on your face.

instead of saying thank you or you too, like any normal person would, he blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

“did you know that scottish monks used to use leather satchels to carry around handwritten bibles that they considered precious?” which was followed by “you’re new.” after a few moments of silence from the both of you. spencer had never wanted to face palm himself quite as badly as he did just then.

surprisingly to him, you let out a laugh.

“no, no I didn’t. and yes, yes I am.”

“I’m spencer. reid.”

He listened to you tell him your name and watched you extend your hand.

perhaps it was the lack of sleep or the sudden confusion he had felt at your existence but he shook your hand.

your hands were warm and soft and spencer didn’t even realise what he was doing until you looked down at his hand covering yours. he pulled his hand away quickly, mumbling something about germs and how he didn’t usually shake hands and he didn’t quite know what had gotten into him. you just gave him a smile in response.

soon enough the elevator doors opened at the sixth floor, spencer looked around for a couple seconds. he hadn’t even realised that the elevator had started moving.

“see you later spencer” you said and walked out, throwing him one more smile over your shoulder.

as he entered the space of the floor he worked on and watched you walk away, he had a realisation.

spencer had found his perfect distraction.

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