#cause every year my bday goes to shit in front of me! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

chococustard · 4 months

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Your Genshin kids are adorable! I love the Priscilla/Yuying/Claire friendship you alluded to in the last art dump (poor Diluc… your daughter just has an instinct for divine beings)

But on the topic of poor Diluc, how do their parents react to the friendship? Diluc and Wriothesley seem like they would be good friends since they have a lot in common but everyone else basically represents every faction in the game.

You got Neuvillette, a dragon sovereign seeking to judge the archons for their crimes; Zhongli, an archon who presumably destroyed Khaenri'ah 500 years ago; Kaeya, a Khaenri'ah spy who is a descendant of the man who founded the abyss order; and Childe, a fatui harbinger who fell into the abyss.

Would they try and keep it together for the sake of their kids? (I love the idea that the three girls are there going :3 while their parents are glaring daggers at each other) Would they find some sort of common ground? Would they recognize each other immediately but think the others don’t know so they come up with increasingly ridiculous ways to hide it? How did Wriothesley and Neuvillette react to the incident with Claire and Yuying? (Can you tell I like the angst?)

hi hi!! thank you so much im glad you like them!!! bc we have limited knowledge atm there's a lot of questions posed that cannot be answered and considering how new fontaine is idk anything for sure //shakes hoyo

they try to keep cordial for the kids tm or at least not to be bad influences in front of them. extra notes under the cut:)

diluc met nv first when he brought claire to fontaine for a business trip and she just, drags in a half dragon to him yelling "i made a new friend!:D" then he met nv and he knew. just knew, these people ain't human. found out they're dragons. "great," he sighed once more.

kae plays his quartermaster persona to a t. when he first meets wriolette he puts on the charm. nv only knows him for via the knights and wrio rarely goes above ground. so like, they're cool with him. mostly. they both do questionable shit that nv can't personally approve of but hey. they ain't his problem. (on that note i like to think he'd be good friends with jean:)) (does nv know about kaeya's khaenrian blood? does he know about khaenri'ah in general? i dont have him)

kaeya and wrio has this, kind of friendship that's like, there's a tension there. they're both people with reputations, but also, like that tm. they're cordial and they get along but there's. SOMETHING.

meanwhile diluc meeting wrio? he's ELATED. man has good taste in tea. they spar sometimes. FINALLY, SOMEONE NORMAL.

wrio is happy in general his baby is making friends meanwhile nv is: to claire: good child:) to yuying, the daughter of one of the usurpers: hmmmm :| (he knows the child did nothing wrong and she's a good kid in general) contrast to diluc he actually LIKES childe. for one he helped with the narwhal thing, and the fatui helped during the crisis and childe himself never did anything bad personally so they're chill. he will sometimes humor his requests to fight if he's free. then decks him. the adeptus power up juice doesn't help much rip. the girls like to play with his hair.

zhongli knows kaeya's khaenrian. kaeya at some point finds out zhongli is rex lapis. they. they have to keep it together. one of them is under nda. outside of that, there's a reason kaeya is liked by the old timers of mond.

zhongli and nv:

nv finds out eventually. and for the sake of his daughter, dont worry about it. they'd bond over old people things probably. nv should meet yanfei and they should be friends if anything cause zl is a menace and they'd be passive aggressive w each other. (i need info but it would be so funny for their kids to go my dads stronger! and make them fight each)

via claire, AGAIN, she invites her bestie yy and the new friend from fontaine to her bday party cause SURE WHY THE FUCK NOT. and those 2 non humans meet and GASP, you're just like me!

post accident tm, what do you even say to that. how do you even react to that

early on in yuying and claire's friendship, on a windy summer day, diluc slowly gets used to having to be cordial with a harbinger. a harbinger who who married a god. someone who will live longer than him. he spoke to childe, as they watch their daughters laugh and run through the grapevines, "one day, when i'm no longer around, please look after my daughter."

#im going insane #thank you anon:)))#ask #anonymous #omegaverse au #kaeluc #zhongchi #wriolette #genshin impact

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retrievablememories · 3 years

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show me love | jaehyun

title: show me love pairing: jaehyun x reader genre: fluff request: “I have a fic idea for Valentine's Day 💀 Jaehyun's gf is busy trying to prepare a really sweet bday gift while Jaehyun is busy trying to prepare a really nice Valentine's Day gift for his gf?” word count: 2.2k warnings: alcohol use a/n: writing pure fluff is not as easy as you’d think, but maybe that’s only an issue when you’re emotionally constipated like me...💀 anyway, here’s to the birthday boy. 🌹

You want to be sure Jaehyun’s birthday gift is perfect this year, which is why you spent so much time saving up for it. To you, it often felt a little hard to measure up to all the lavish gifts he gets every year for his birthday from fans, friends, and family members—especially since it’s on Valentine’s Day—but he always claimed that you could get him anything and he’d love it.

You and Jaehyun haven’t met up very frequently this week, partly because you’d both been busy preparing your gifts for each other; you for his birthday, and him for Valentine’s Day. You weren’t too upset about that, though. Being able to see him when the day finally came around would make it even more special after the time spent away from each other.

It’d been a lot harder than you’d anticipated to keep your gift secret, but only because you’re so excited for him to finally know what you’d gotten for him. You’re eager to see his reaction to it and hear what he might say about it. You’re also wondering what he might be planning for you, but you’ve done your very best not to pester him about it too much—even though you really want to.

The day of his birthday, you’re so jittery that you even get up earlier than usual so you can get dressed and make sure your look for the day is perfect. You end up calling Jaehyun while you put your makeup on, not wanting to wait any longer to talk to him. It’s not too early in the day when you call, because you know he won’t like getting up at that hour, but maybe early enough to cause a small complaint.

“Hi Y/N,” he answers after a few seconds, voice a bit deeper than usual—probably because he just got up. You grin at the sound of his voice.

“Good morning! Happy birthday, baby! Did I wake you? I’m sorry, haha.”

“Y/N.” Jaehyun repeats your name and smiles on the other end. You can’t see this, but you can hear his laugh, which is full of happiness at your greeting. “Thank you, sweet girl. It’s fine, I don’t really care, I was gonna get up soon anyway.” You hear the sheets rustling in the background and figure that’s him getting up now. “And of course, Happy Valentine’s Day.”

“The day for lovers, how could I ever forget.” You smirk to yourself, sifting through your makeup bag for a certain highlighter. “By the way, you’re gonna come over today, right? I have something for you,” you tell him in a singsong-y mischievous tone.

“Oh?” Jaehyun perks up at that. “You want me to come over now? Because...I have something for you too, for Valentine’s Day, but it’s here at my place.”

“Ah, really?” You laugh. “Come to my place first, it’s your birthday and you should get your present first.”

“But since it’s my birthday, shouldn’t you come here? Do it for me~”

You almost roll over with laughter. “Aw, Jaehyun! I can’t believe you’re using that cute tone with me, I know you hate aegyo.”

He sighs, and you know he’s probably blushing from embarrassment. “Hmm, okay, okay. Never gonna do that one again. Should we flip a coin on it, then? If I win, you have to come over with whatever your gift is.”

You chuckle. “Flip a coin? You serious?”

“Dead serious. Get on FaceTime.”

“Now?” You snort and look at yourself in the mirror, makeup only half-done.

“You don’t want to? What are you hiding?” Now his voice takes on a sneaky note.

“I’m not hiding anything, but if that’s what you want, then prepare yourself...”

You both hang up and Jaehyun calls you on FaceTime a few seconds later. You smile when you see his face on the other end, still bare from just waking up. One corner of his mouth tugs up in a smirk when he sees you, then he bursts into a full grin, giggling at your half-made-up face.

“Well, that was unexpected.”

“Yes, yes, laugh it up! My own boyfriend clowning me on Valentine’s Day, how sweet of you.” You pout for good measure.

“You laugh at me nearly everyday,” he points out, and you must admit that he’s right. “Anyway, you always look pretty to me.” Then he pulls a hand through his hair in a way that he knows can always make you swoon, and you sigh in defeat.

“...Okay, you’re forgiven.”

You see him rummage around for a moment before the phone straightens again; now he holds a coin between his fingers. “So. What side do you want?”

“I guess heads.”

Jaehyun snickers momentarily before affecting a nonchalant expression again. “Yeah, I’ll take tails then.”

“Stop being dirty-minded,” you complain, rolling your eyes.

“I’m not, Y/N,” he insists, though his tone suggests otherwise. He flips the coin into the air and points the phone camera to where it landed on the ground—heads.

“I won! Now you have to come over,” you cheer.

“Fine, fine.” He shakes his head and laughs. “I’ll be over soon. Wait for me.”

“I wouldn’t go anywhere else, now would I?”

Jaehyun arrives at your place a little while later, and he’s a bit starstruck when you open the door. Now with your makeup finished, you’re wearing a red dress with heels to match and your hair is styled prettily, falling over your shoulders. You smile happily at him, pulling at his shoulders to get him to come inside.

“Hi Jaehyun,” you say, closing the door after him and hugging him. He squeezes you back tightly, leaving a kiss on your bare shoulder and breathing in the scent of your hair.

“Y/N. How do you manage to get prettier everyday?”

“Because you love me so much.” You give him a kiss and tug his hand to guide him into the living room. You lead him to sit down on your couch, though you don’t sit next to him just yet. “Okay, before I give you your gift, you gotta close your eyes first.”

“Close my eyes? What is it?” Jaehyun keeps hold of your hand as he asks this, grinning up at you.

“You won’t know until you do what I say, silly!” He relents, although a bit reluctantly, and lets go of your hand so he can close his eyes. You go to get his gift from your bedroom and come back into the living room with it, holding it out in front of him. “Open your eyes now.”

When he does, he sees you holding a small wrapped box. “Why’d I have to close my eyes? I still can’t tell what it is.” He chuckles as he takes it from you. “The suspense is gonna kill me,” he jokes as he begins unwrapping it.

When Jaehyun finally gets the wrapping off and gets the box open, his face softens as he sees what’s inside and takes it in his hand. You clasp your own hands together, your skin warming at his smile. “It might not be what you’re used to in terms of like, luxury, you know...but it looked nice and I thought it’d look good on you.”

“Y/N…you must’ve spent a lot on this,” Jaehyun murmurs, examining the shiny new face of the watch in his hand. He holds it as if it were a rare jewel, turning it on all its sides to examine it. It’s mostly black leather and silver, but it was still more than usual for your budget, costing you a few hundred dollars.

“I did save up for some months...and still had to use a payment plan for it. Good thing we never broke up in that timespan or I woulda been shit outta luck.” Jaehyun snorts and shakes his head at your statement, knowing you’d say something like that to lighten the mood.

“Thank you baby,” he says, sliding his new watch onto his wrist. “You know this means the world to me.” He goes over to the window to see it better in the natural lighting, holding it up to the light to see it sparkle. You go over to him and peek over his shoulder, grinning softly. “I’ll have to pay you back.” You raise your eyebrows.

“What? It’s your birthday present, why would you—”

“You’ll see later,” he says mysteriously, and you give him a curious look. “Meanwhile, we should go somewhere. The day’s still early, so let’s enjoy it.”

“You’re right,” you say, glancing at the new watch once more and then kissing him on the cheek. “Let’s go, then.”

It’s evening by the time you get back to Jaehyun’s place, having already eaten at an upscale restaurant that he’d reserved. You’d had no idea about it, and you were glad you’d taken the initiative to dress up today. Both of you spent the earlier part of the day going out to brunch and then exploring the city for a few hours, which even included taking one of those romantic boat rides that the nearby lake always offers on Valentine’s Day. You thought it would be kind of cheesy at first, but it turned out way more fun than you could imagine.

When you step inside his place, you’re surprised to see everything is decorated pretty lavishly; the overhead lights are dimmed, leaving a bunch of small tea lights as the main illumination. There are rose petals spread everywhere, too, and the sitting room is set up with pillows and blankets and a nice spread of chocolates and wine on the coffee table.

You gasp, studying the surroundings. “How did you arrange all this? We were together all day.”

“Had some help from the guys; they came while we were gone. Hope they didn’t take anything, though...” Jaehyun shrugs as if this whole setup is no big deal, but his dimples poke out from the gleeful smile on his lips. He picks up an unlit candle from the coffee table, and you notice there are a few more spread around. “Now that we’re here, we can light these. Safety first, you know.”

“Of course,” you snicker, taking your jacket and shoes off so you can sit down on one of the pillows. You take up the bottle of wine and inspect the label while Jaehyun finds a lighter for the candles. “Considering that we already drank at the restaurant...don’t be surprised if I’m off my ass by the end of the night.”

“We don’t have to drink it if you don’t want to,” he suggests, raising one eyebrow.

“Oh no, I want to!” Jaehyun laughs at your enthusiasm as you open the wine and pour a glass for each of you. Once he’s done lighting the candles, he goes into his room. You lean back on the cushion and take your glass in your hand, waiting for him to come back.

Jaehyun returns soon with his blazer discarded and the first few buttons of his shirt undone. “I see you’ve gotten relaxed, too.” You smirk, crossing your legs. “You look so handsome with your new watch. I’m glad I got it for you.”

“Then I think you’ll like this even more.”

“Hmm?” You turn to Jaehyun as he sits on one of the pillows beside you. Your eyes widen when he pulls out a velvet case you didn’t notice before. It’s not a ring case, though, which really would’ve caused you to fall out; it’s the kind you use for bracelets or necklaces. He places it in your hands, and you gingerly take it from him like it might vanish if handled too roughly. “Oh...what is…?”

“You have to open it.” He grins, mimicking your earlier teasing of him with his own gift. You set down your wine glass and open the velvet rectangle to find a delicate necklace lying inside. At the end of it is a small circle with tiny diamonds embedded in it.

“Oh wow...it’s perfect,” you whisper, taking it out of the box and looking it over with enamored eyes. “Is this what you meant by ‘paying me back’? Because, Jesus, this is Cartier. I think you’ve done more than enough.” You smile wistfully and shake your head.

“Let me put it on you,” he says, and you give him the necklace so he can do so. You turn away from him, and you shiver a little at the feeling of his breaths on the back of your neck and his fingertips brushing your skin. You face him again when he’s done fastening it and throw your arms around his neck, hugging him closer to you and smiling against his dimpled cheek.

“I love you, Jaehyun. Thank you so much.”

Jaehyun’s lips curve up at your words, and he tucks his face against you, pressing a gentle kiss to the side of your jaw. “I love you, Y/N.”

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pluviophileeeeee · 3 years

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“ Dear Jadey,

I heard you, and I completely understand you.

Ang sakin lang eh, kung gusto mo pang magpaka-tanga edi go. I just use the words ‘kung san ka masaya’ to make it sound better for the heart. You have to go through that lingering process to realize things and learn.

It can’t be, ‘oh I’m just gonna stop this because it’s not good’ (even though you’re not fully done yet). I understand din the ‘message niya lang ako sa bday ko’ part. I don’t want you rushing tapos you’re still haunted by the feelings. I know where you are because I did it to myself. I didn’t let myself heal properly and it sucked. It fucking sucked. You can fight me and deny it, but I stand by my observation.

To be honest, it took me 2 years to move on from someone. It was just last week that I heard the right words I needed to hear to finally shut off everything about her, yet I find myself still thinking of her. It does not necessarily mean I’m going back to her, but you know how that shit goes.

Anyway, I know we’re going to talk about this for a long time pa and I don’t mind at all. I know this kasi ikaw na rin nagsabi ‘annoy you every now and then’ which means may next chapter pa ito.

This COVID thing was actually pretty cool. I learnt so much about you. I’m here to listen to your ‘ratatat’ mouth and stupid hopeful heart. Know that I understand you and will never judge you.

Not so sincere perfect boy,

Jolo”

This was when I couldn’t contain it anymore and I needed someone to vent on. I ended up crying in front of my friends(which i don’t usually do)

And this was also when my friends didn’t know his doings yet.. they were still so supportive and was giving him the benefit of the doubt, and i was still crumbling inside because I couldn’t tell them the cause of it.

However, to this day I fucking swear it will all end. Watch me grow from this.. I am so blessed to have such friends who stuck by my side - not just on good times but also on the worst part of my journey. I haven’t been lucky with relationships but i’ve sure been abundantly blessed with such awesome friends!!!!!!

Honestly, I feel content. I couldn’t ask for more.. Fuck this and that! This is where I belong.

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smoljoelito · 5 years

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best friends with CNCO

requested by/request: one of my mutuals requested this but I can’t remember which one for sure I forgot to screenshot I think it was @quierick or @cloudfiveclub OOF sorry

warnings: fluff and language

masterlist

Series

richard camacho

erick brian colón

chris velez

joel pimentel

zabdiel de jesús

tags: @quierick @mepuserojito @ericks-mala-actitud @woowoodaaboo @ella-se-vuelve-loca @joelsaww @honeyzhong @sarswilltakeyouout @pimentelssmile @whippedforcnco @notsoteenagegirl @richukisbb @besosdecnco @emsy55 @cloudfiveclub @erickspretend1 @hardtoadore @pretendcnco (join my taglist)

———————————————————————————————————

♢ Richard

Constantly making fun of you

Takes you grocery shopping

Makes sure you’re always feeling okay and checks in on you while on tour

Answers the phone like “Sup biiiiiitch!”

Aaliyah’s godmother

Shooting you with nerf guns

Receiving a punch in the gut every time he hits you in the head

Random wrestling matches on the floor

Him being shocked when you pin him down sometimes

Working out together

Starting kickboxing together

Likes to pick you up because you’re smol™

Gets mad when you tell him he’s also a shortie

Lots of swearing and dirty jokes from him

You’re pure so he gets slapped a lot

Protective like a brother oof you can’t have any boyfriend without his opinion

Asking you about songs he’s not sure about to make sure you like them

Helping him write music

Beatboxing while he raps has become a very popular thing with the fans on his Instagram story

Speaking Spanish with him but usually only when you’re mad/annoyed

Tries to dress you

You try to dress him

He has a key to your apartment so sometimes you’ll just come home and he’s chilling on the couch watching the soccer game

You’re like ?

and he’s like hey how are you? Like it’s no big deal.

He tries to get you to be his wingman and get girls for him

Sometimes you actually do

He always points out girls in public

*eye roll*

but

If you point out a man it’s all “I will beat him if he steps even in your direction.”

Loving him unconditionally like family

♔ Erick

So many bad jokes

But good thing you somehow find bad jokes funny

You too will just about be pissing your pants at how funny you think Erick’s bad jokes are

Because they are that bad

Super open about his feelings/emotions with you

Telling you everything

“Hey y/n! Last night at a club this girl grinded on me and she did a really good job!”

“...OKAY?”

“Good morning, Y/N. I got really drunk last night and I just threw up, what’s good?”

Not being as protective

Actually tries to get you dates

“Hey Y/N, that guy is attractive!”

“Why don’t you go over there then?”

*Smack*

Lots of hitting when you’re annoyed

Lots of laughter

He steals your beanies and hats

You steal his hoodies

Sometimes you both dress each other

Making fun of him constantly

Getting protective when the other boys make fun of him

Only you’re allowed to make fun of him

Him making you laugh whenever need be

Lots of “checking up on you” texts

Practices singing in front of you

Always learns your favorite songs for when you have a bad day cause he’ll sing them and make you smile

Teaches you how to play guitar

Tries to teach you how to sing

Always his salsa buddy

Love him more than anyone else

☼ Chris

He plays too much

Always making fun of you

like every opportunity that comes

Your comebacks are epic though, which he loves

Laughing so hard together that you almost throw up

Fave memory is when you made Chris laugh so hard he DID throw up

Protective over you only when the guy is bigger than him

Always cracking jokes together

Cuddling!

All the guys love having you around cause you both literally light up the night with your smiles, jokes, and laughter

Chris buys you tickets to fly out to see him all the time

Steal his sunglasses and hats all the time

Acts like he cares but really doesn’t cause you wear them better than him

People ask if you’re married all the time

Going out to eat all the time to try new foods together

Chris singing to you when your sad which sometimes makes you cry harder cause it’s so pretty

Going clubbing all the time

Having flirting competitions with each other to make sure your game is as good as possible™

Playing pool with him

Making fun of him when he can’t get the 8 ball in

“You even have that bitch tattoed on your hand!”

Spanglish

Lots of swearing in Spanish

He also has a key to your house

but instead, you’ll come home and find him sitting on your kitchen counter eating a bag of chips

“You better put my favorite birthday cake Oreos down you little fucker.”

Sends you care boxes of different foods and items from really cool countries he goes too

Your fave: green tea Kit Kats from Japan

Somehow can find them in the US and gets them for you when you’re feeling down.

“Hey Y/N I wrote you a song, wanna hear it.”

“sure!”

*strums the guitar* “You’re a fucking bitch but I love youuuuu!”

A strong punch in the arm

*strums the guitar* “Now you see what I mean!”

(Courtesy of @erickspretend1) reenacting the “I love you biiiiitch, I aint ever gonna stop loving you biiiiitch” in public to make you embarrassed

Loving his dumbass too much

♡ Joel

Color coordination in public

Dressing each other

Stealing his rings, hats, and any other accessories

Lots of dad jokes

Lots of smol giggles™

You're his personal photographer

Asks you to paint his nails sometimes

Lots of Disney movies

Always get each other tickets to plays for each other’s bday’s

Broadway & Disney carpool karaoke

Go to see Ed Sheeran and Shawn Mendes in concert with him

Sing there albums in the car

Always finding an excuse to sing

“Joel, sweetie, your famous. You don’t need to show off your voice anymore.”

Avocado everything

Calling him hoe-el when he pisses you off

Having to stop every time he sees a dog to pet it

“We should get a dog!”

“You’re gone touring for like 9 months of the year! I’ll have to take care of it!”

Texting you tea all the time

FaceTime’s right before concerts just to say a quick hello

Having the boys help you surprise him and fly out to see him in concert

Sees you in the front row and is like a deer in headlights

“HI GUYS! MY BEST FRIEND FLEW OUT TO SEE ME AND SURPRISE ME! SHES THE BEST! Y/N GET YOUR ASS UP HERE!”

Dancing with him on stage to Pretend cause he taught you the choreography

The fans adoring your relationship

Lots of ice cream, cuddles, and love

✰ Zabdiel

A bit more of a quiet relationship

Calls you when he’s sad, anxious, or feeling off a lot

You always know the right thing to say to him and vice versa

Support each other immensely

Lots of late-night deep talks on FaceTime or like on a balcony if he’s home.

Lots of cuddling, especially when one of you isn’t happy

Uses you as a human sleeping bag and passes out on you all the time

“You’re so small!”

“You’re a tree! Tell me, is the air quality different up there? Maybe that’s why you say dumb shit cause you get light-headed.”

He’s chill, you’re not at all.

“Cálmete princesa!”

“It’s NOT that easy for me Zabdi!”

Using his height to your advantage and taking him grocery shopping.

“Could you get that please, Z?”

Helping you learn Spanish

Speaking/singing in Spanish to you when you’re anxious cause it calms you down for some reason

He sends coffee to your house sometimes when he’s on tour just the way you like it

Shows you pics of girls he thinks are cute all the time

Never lets you look at men

“You’re too good for him!”

“I just glanced at him! Do you know him?”

“No, but I am a man. His intentions are not good.”

Tries to hook you up with some of his friends.

Never works out.

Gives you hoodies before he leaves on tour

Buys you cute little things on tour and sends them to you

Surprises you at work sometimes when he gets a break from touring

Punching him in the arm after from making you cry in front of your coworkers

The boys fly you out sometimes when he’s having a rough week

Instantly his mood is back to normal

Lots of fluff, support, and love

#cnco preferences #joel pimentel #richard camacho #erick brian colon #christopher velez #zabdiel de jesus #my imagines #my preferences #cnco #cnco imagines #best friends to lovers series

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tdotsspot · 4 years

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2020.....

Wow, it’s been almost TWO years since I've posted anything on here. I’ve thought about it from time to time, but never sat to actually say anything. I just looked at my last two posts....so funny. This is why I'll probably always keep this....just to look back, see where I was, who I was.

But back to 2020 bc HONESTLY this year is the one to go. down. in the mother. fucking. books.

2019 was literally the best year of my life. It was the year I did the most traveling, the year I made the most money...it was like, perfect until the end. I went to Puerto Rico and St Thomas....Atlanta, Boston of course, MARTHA’S VINEYARD FINALLY and even though I've been there 100 times, this was the absolute best. Of course having Dameo was a plus, getting to show him my childhood summers, but Unc let me use the Mercedes which I legit fell in love with, we met Danny Glover which was crazy, I got the brass ring on my first try lol, and we had a lot of good food. LA, was amazing, I miss it so much....NY.....I feel like I’m missing a city, oh yes, dc! That was a fun drunk night.

Late November for Britt’s bday we all went out and that was the first time I was ever real life drunk around his fam, but it was so much fun. The next week....nana passed. It was sad, weird....I hadn’t lost someone in a really long time, and I was there to see some of her last lucid moments. We definitely got closer over the last two years or so since I visited her a good amount, and it made me more sad than I thought. I’m glad I got to have those moments with her, it was cool to get a grandmother again. Made me miss nanny a lot though...

A few weeks later, we found out I was pregnant! It was planned, we were excited although tbh I was kind of freaking out. A baby??? Like a whole ass human? No more weed, liquor, or runny eggs??? HOW SWAY! I don’t think I was ready yet, and a few weeks after that, RIGHT before Christmas, RIGHT before we were going to tell the family, I had a miscarriage. Goodness, I really wasn’t ready for that, at all. Obviously it’s common, but I never thought I’d have one....I was healthy, in a healthy relationship....happy....how the hell did this happen? Unfortunately we already told our moms at that time, partially to help cheer ang, and I knew my mom would be hype as well. I knew it was early, but I told some close friends as well. The pain I felt from that, I just didn't really expect. It was, really sad....I delayed our trip to Boston twice because I really just couldn’t bring myself to leave the bed and sit on a train for 6 hours. I almost canceled altogether but KNOWING NOW THAT THE FUCKING WORLD WAS GOING TO SHUT DOWN, I'm really glad we still went. It was reassuring to get my hugs from my mom, cry it out with her, and see the fam. Except Kendall was such a douche that visit *rolls eyes*. I did get to go see the friends pop up which LEGIT made my whole holiday. As such a huge fan, it was AMAZING, simply, amazing, and I got to enjoy it with my two older cousins and of course, the Dame.

So that brings us to the new year of 2020. 2020 the year I think EVERYONE thought was going to be amazing, and maybe it will be. Maybe everything that’s going on albeit sad, overwhelming, insane....is in fact the year we all really needed. The Amazon was on fire, forever and as someone who truly cares about global warming that was super stressful. We almost had WWIII thanks to good old Trump, but boy oh boy....that was just the tip of the iceberg. A few weeks later AGAIN, I call my dr telling them I still haven’t gotten my period, my boobs hurt, and wtf is going on? She tells me to take another pregnancy test, which I thought was a joke because I JUST had a miscarriage weeks before, and yes we had sex, but we were ‘careful’. COME TO FIND OUT, my ass is pregnant again. I was, very confused...a little upset because I was planning on waiting a bit before trying for real again. I mean we just dealt with so much loss between nana and the miscarriage, I hadn’t even fully processed what my body just went through. I remember angrily buying the test because, those shits aren’t cheap.....peeing with the door open with Dame downstairs, (not at ALL romantic like the first time I told him) and looking down like....wait. “WHAT THE FUCK” about 3 times was said, I explained to dame this indeed does say I’m pregnant, but how??

30 minutes later, the world finds out Kobe Bryant died. There were a lot of emotions that day for sure. Even though I wasn’t a die hard Kobe fan or anything, for some reason this one really made me sad. Maybe because I was currently listening to a book his personal coach wrote; relentless....which is REALLY fucking good.

A week later, I'm confirmed via bloodwork that I am indeed pregnant and it’s time for take two! I didn't get excited until I passed my first trimester, just in case...but now at almost 26 weeks, I’m really excited to meet her. My babygirl! It’s still wild to know I’m about to be a mom, but I’m really pumped for both of us and I know we’ll make great parents.

Ah yes, the mid march, covid 19 hits America. I was supposed to go on a three city tour to the west coast which I was very much looking forward to, before the world stopped. In fact, it was that very weekend, right after we had our ultrasound, the first and only visit Dame was allowed to come in, that everything stopped. A week or so later, a mid level of depression kicked in for me, which lasted about a month. I couldn’t believe that after WEEKS of puking and being dead ass tired, I was finally ready to work again, but I was Essentially unemployed. The west coast gig was a cute check, I had multiple events coming up that got canceled....weddings that got postponed, and all I could think about was I’m about to have a kid with no money. I went almost two entire months without making ANY money....luckily unemployment kicked in and I got a couple of grants I applied for because I really don’t know what I would’ve done. My mom of course was in my corner, and Dame would start working from home, but still fully employed so at least we wouldn’t be homeless. I knew there were hundreds of thousands of people in my boat, if not worse but I couldn’t help but be consumed with not making any money, and my 2020 year essentially being wiped out.

Again, this was supposed to be MY year. Be a parent, make a lot of money, and I felt like I just fell flat on my face, in mud, and was suffocating.

America’s approach to covid was trash, more and more people died...I was worried about my mom and aunts as they're older and more susceptible. This is the longest I've gone without seeing my mom, but thanks to technology! We literally FaceTime every day.

I almost forgot! Red literally almost died. He got attacked by a pit that lives up the street and it was one of the scariest things I ever dealt with. We just came back from a cute little drive, it was absolutely beautiful out, and I just remember parking, letting him out for a walk, looking at a dog running but I couldn’t tell if it was on a leash or not. I then realized nope, this bitch is not on a leash, crossing the street, and watching it whip its head at me and red and sprinting across the street to attack him. I was absolutely terrified. My baby red, is literally getting mangled by a fucking pit by the neck. I’m also pregnant and scared the pit is going to attack me, that my stress is going to cause another miscarriage, and that I’m probably going to watch red die in front of my eyes. I completely blacked out on the woman who was sloppily running to get her dog off of him. Had it been a minute more, max, he would’ve been dead. I still picture it sometimes and it legit makes me so sad, but luckily he pulled through after about a week of healing, and a huge bloody abscess that needed to be drained.

THEN about a month ago now, George Floyd was killed on tape by a cop and it changed the world. Between Breonna Taylor, and Ahmaud Abery dying and being cooped up for months in the house, major cities went up in flames, literally. It was a revolution that Is still happening which has caused corporate America to shove ‘black lives matter’ down our throats like black people just popped up, shown privileged ass white people who refuse to try and understand, racist fucks that just hate us so much....and the list goes on.

That’s been our year so far! and it about to get shut down again because because aren't taking covid seriously.

Pregnancy has been really interesting though....not at all like what they show on tv and the movies. I’ve been emotional as hell crying over my body changing....constipated af to the point where I now celebrate any time I shit, hella uncomfortable....but I know when we see her face it will indeed all be worth it. Doing this back to back though like Dame envisions....I don’t know man lol. We shall see. She's due in about 3.5 months. Check in before then....

Tdot, out.

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letscuttothefeeling · 4 years

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season three episode three

Let me start off by congratulating the producers – not you Ish – on this great episode. I finally feel like we’re back to THE SHOW. Not a weird Bachelor spin-off with minimal drama and blatantly horrible editing (see: Juliette’s grad party scene, where Chloe’s nails change color DURING THE PARTY.) Nope, we’re done with that and back to the good stuff, so on that note, let’s cut to the feeling.

Come ON MTV it’s like you weren’t even trying. And yes, I created this, and no, I don’t have a life.

I know I’m going to like an episode when it starts off with the angelic sounds of my lord and savior, Ariana Grande. As break up with ur girlfriend, i’m bored plays, we zoom into Cara’s house. Personally, I’m hoping to see Victoria. Alas – it’s just Cara…and Garrett. God, Garrett STOP. Your ex-girlfriend has already outlined exactly how Cara is using you – since she did the exact same thing - and you’re still asking Cara on dates? This is so cringe. Where’s Victoria?!

Even though Garrett can’t score a date, Brandon can! Maybe instead of asking Cara to go look at babies, you should ask her to rollerblade, G Baby. As Amanda and Brandon glide around the Key, we learn that Brandon is celebrating his 24th birthday on Friday! And it’s “24, Like, Karat Gold Slash, Like, Pirate, Sort Of” themed, of course! He debates whether or not to invite Juliette while giving us viewers amazing helmet safety tips. Meanwhile, after Cara has removed G Baby from her property, she makes her way to Chloe’s to checkuppé on her. This is where we learn that Chloe has officially called the cops and filed a police report. I have a lot of opinions, but more on this later.

Okay, something I haven’t touched on because I wish it wasn’t happening I haven’t had time is that Kelsey and Jared have sparked a little romance. If you don’t remember, while Kelsey was dating her random LA boyfriend, Jared was the 86th person she cheated on him with. I see this going well! I mean, it always works out when you leave someone you cheated on for the person you cheated with. Right? Plus, there’s Twisted Tea and mudding involved, so Kelsey can rest assured she’ll be going on sophisticated and expensive dates instead of the shitty and poor dates that Garrett used to take her on.

FINALLY, the C + V scene I need and deserve. Donning a black one-piece that contrasts perfectly with her frozen fruity pink drink, Victoria is effortlessly exuding two polar opposite, chaotic energies. I’m getting “sassy”, but I’m also getting “I’ll fuck you up if you insult my 90’s Quiksilver skater shoes.” AKA, I’m getting Avril during the Girlfriend era. And I love it. As she floats next to Cara in the pool and shockingly proclaims that she’s not into guys, (what?!) I’m on my knees praying to God himself that she become a main cast member vis-à-vis a relationship with Cara. It’s Victoria’s show, and we’re all just living in it, baby. After Cara’s bizarre comment about how her parents punish her by locking her in their wine cellar (weird flex, but okay) Victoria giggles about how dumb Garrett is and we move on.

We leave C and V for a Madisson and Kelsey reunion, but it’s not a happy one. Madisson delivers the unfortunate news that Chloe may be pressing charges. Oh no! I would be really upset by this, but I can’t focus on the content of Madisson’s words because of how she’s delivering them. Madisson, we fully understand that you’ve been to an acting class in LA because you won’t shuttupé about it, so you can stop over-enunciating everything that comes out of your mouth. Thanks!

After Kelsey tells Juliette about her impending stint in Florida prison, she gets understandably upset. Luckily, Boring Robby is there to teach Juliette how to apologize. Don’t say he never did anything for her! I want to point out that Kelsey truly has been redeeming herself this season. She’s been pretty level headed and a very good friend. If only Boring Robby could do the same… Later in the day, Kelsey confronts Robby about another thing Madisson spilled during their meetup. Apparently, while Juliette was fighting everyone last week, Boring Robby had the audacity to applaud her! How gauche. Boring Robby vehemently denies these claims, saying, “Always take the high road, because the low road is way too crowded,” and, “Silence is the best way to react to a fool, and happiness is the best revenge.” First of all, stop lying about things that were FILMED on national television. You’re now Boring Robby: The Liar. Second of all, why are you the human embodiment of my ninth grade Pinterest quotes board?

Grab your pillows and sleeping bags because we are heading to a SLUMBER PARTY! But before anyone can start braiding each other’s hair, Chloe begins to stir the pot, yet again. She delights in bringing up Brandon and Amanda’s new relationship right in front of Madisson. But to distract from the awkwardness, Amanda changes the subject to her missing phone. After the fight, she lost her phone and no one has been able to find it. She starts to give us a play-by-play analysis of why and how she thinks Boring Robby: The Liar stole it. I’m sorry, am I watching Joe Goldberg on You, or am I watching Amanda on Siesta Key?

It’s the day of the BG’s bday, and I’m so excited to see everyone’s 24 Karat Gold Slash Like Pirate themed outfits! They don’t disappoint - G Baby and Victoria are even matching!! I’ve never screamed so loudly in my life. Garrett obviously refuses to drink, and we’re off to the party. But first, there’s one guest who needs to arrive.

As Alex descends from his family’s PJ strapped with Louis luggage, a BEER, and fresh digs straight from the Siesta Key mall, I can feel the blood coming back into my body. I can feel individual atoms multiplying. I can feel my soul re-entering my empty, hollow frame. I feel exactly like Bella in the fourth Twilight novel, Breaking Dawn. After her half-human, half-vampire baby has eaten its way out of her uterine lining, Edward is forced to do the unthinkable: steal Bella’s mortal soul by turning her into a vampire so she has a shot to survive. (It’s the second time in the series that vampire Edward is forced to resist sucking all of Bella’s enticing blood to save her – that’s true love.) As she starts to respond to his venom, each and every one of her cells begins to freeze over and restore life to her body. Suddenly, she is awake. Her vision is sharp, her mind is clear, and she’s never looked better. And that’s EXACTLY how I felt as Alex exited his plane.

I expect nothing less than for Alex to arrive at BG’s party with three underage Ukrainian mail-order brides. And he doesn’t disappoint. Unfortunately for the brides, he immediately begins discussing relationships with Cara. It’s fun to see Cara pride herself in not cheating on people for the past year. I kind of feel like that should be a given, but okay. As they’re undressing each other with their eyes talking, Garrett is having an interesting convo of his own. Classic Chloe starts stirring the pot AGAIN by telling Garrett that Cara is using him. Really Chloe? Cara is supposed to be your best friend. What’s more shocking is that VICTORIA starts to betray Cara as well. This causes an immediate fight between Carrett. They leave the party and start screaming at each other in the jungle. I’m so enraptured by the fight that I momentarily forget they’re at a themed party and fixate on Garrett’s outfit. Why am I watching Garrett Miller scream in a jungle dressed as a pirate? Oh, right. Anyways.

Even though Cara and G Baby are scream fighting, the party continues to rage on. And everyone is makingoutté. Kelsey and Jared, Amanda and Brandon... something is in the air! It must be the pirate theme. #LetsGetScurvy. But one person isn’t feeling the love – Madisson. With Dad gone, she has no one to kish. Clearly bothered by watching her friend and ex-boyfriend eat each other’s faces, Madisson decides to give Brandon the sad news that Amanda is using him. Whether or not she is, Madisson has no right to give her opinion on the matter. And BG says exactly that. Good for him! Another person surprisingly not making out with someone is Alex. He’s too busy being an asshole to Kelsey and telling anyone who will listen that Boring Robby is bad news. Probably true, but literally no one can be worse than he is, except maybe Pauly Paul. In other news, WHERE IS PAUL.

Unfortunately, the next scene doesn’t involve Pauly or Victoria – just Chloe and Juliette. Juliette shows up after Chloe gets out of work to hopefully avoid jailtime hash things out. Now strap in because I’m about to explain exactly where I stand with the Chloe/Juliette drama, and if you aren’t completely focused, please take a 10mg Adderall, wait ten minutes, and check back in.

Okay, hopefully, you’ve taken amphetamines and can really dial in. Here goes: I realize that Chloe is a necessary evil - it’s an indisputable fact that there would be no show without her antics. No one is as shameless when it comes to talking shit and completely ruining their friendships for the sake of television. And for that, I deeply respect Chloe. (I realize that sounds sarcastic but I am dead serious. Thank you for taking one for the team, Chloe.) But I simply cannot stand when she gets what’s coming to her then plays the innocent victim. Obviously, violence is not cool, and Juliette should be embarrassed by her behavior. But Chloe knew exactly what the outcome of that conversation would be. She was banking on a wasted Juliette reacting horribly. With Chloe, you simply cannot win. Earlier in this episode, Chloe verbatim says to Madisson and Cara, “If the roles were reversed, I would have shown up at her house, apologizing.”

Now cut to this scene, where Chloe verbatim says to Juliette (after Juliette shows up at her workplace) “I really don’t know why you’re here, so if you can please leave and leave me alone.”

Juliette said it best herself – “Chloe is my best friend when I’m miserable. When I’m actually thriving…this type of stuff happens.” Let’s take a moment to analyze the similarities and differences of how Chloe and the rest of the cast handled Chloe’s altercation with Amanda during season one, in which Amanda broke Chloe’s nose and sent her to surgery. After sending Chloe to the hospital, Amanda justifies her actions by saying that Chloe started it first. So everyone is okay with Amanda decking Chloe. The fact is, Chloe started it first here, too. Chloe swatted at Juliette’s hand first. So why did everyone grab coffee with Amanda, but ostracize Juliette? Amanda even had a sit-down conversation with Chloe after her surgery expecting Chloe to apologize. The inconsistencies and hypocrisy present…I CANNOT.

Chloe acts like everyone’s best friend to stay relevant and betrays them the second it benefits her. While I do agree that Juliette is only apologizing because she’s scared Chloe will press charges, I think people who talk shit, unfortunately, get hit, on occasion. Until next week!

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adam-levineyard · 5 years

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It's been really fucking long

So, I have not really been active these last years and stuff, and i don't even know how to begin unpacking all this shit.

Anyways, after the whole student exhange thing i got seriously depressed for about a year and a half or so. I started drinking too much, not caring enough about anything besides work to cope with it. Back in 2017 i was planning on running off with the (now i realize) little money I had saved. Ended up getting black-out-drunk as shit at my best friend’s bday party and confessing some really fucking nasty thoughts to both him and my parents between sobs and retches. I was at my lowest and started having some really bad ideas. I just wanted everything to stop. Anyways I kinda got better or something.

Until nearing the end of last year. Got really stressed out at work and drinking a lot again, ended up getting black-out-drunk again at work's christmas party. We went clubbing or something with the really wealthy owner. Everything was on the house. I don't know how I got back home barefeet, beaten, bruised, sobbing, with a bloody nose and dog bites all over my leg. Next morning I had no ID or money in my wallet. My calf has couple puncture scars that you can pinch and feel like you’re grabbing a bowling ball.

And so it goes. Every 8 months or so I have some sort of breakdown or something, stop drinking altogether, get confident and careless again, and repeat the whole fucking thing. Last one was about a month or so. My last two gigs were as head bartender at an 80 seating capacity restaurant , then got stolen to a 600 capacity one. I get really obsessed and stress out a lot at work, it’s pretty normal in the restaurant industry. Started pulling two weeks straight with no days off and lots of overtime or doubles with no extra pay. Took some regular hours for about a week, then pulled the same shit again, but this time it was 3 weeks straight. Started overreaching myself, not doing things right, some national bigshot boss came over and realized the waiters were stealing from my stocks or charging customers extra and asked for my non-existent inventories, which I could not do cause I was very fucking busy making sure the bar was not left unnatended. She made me cry out of frustration and shame in front of everyone right there on the bar. Got drunk again, pulled the same shit over and quit about two weeks ago.

I was scouted for that restaurant. A Diageo World Class twice-participant saw me at the other bar I was working at, realized I'm fucking great (cause I actually am a fucking great bartender, mind you) and pretty much stole me from my modest 80 capacity bar to a whopping 600 one. His name’s Bernardo, and he’s the national head bartender for the whole restaurant chain, Palomino’s. They have seven outposts spread out in the country. I worked alongside him for two weeks and learned tons in that short time, then he returned to Mexico City, and we remained in contact. We got along great, he was the first and only bartender I met that knew what a fucking Sazerac was, or that also enjoyed Fernet Branca. Before he left, he passed on his bar blade to me. He had it for seven years.

I did my fair share, I saw that we made it through Mother's and Father's day and event after event. The local managers realized I would work as many hours as needed and latched on to it. At some point they chastised me at a meeting for accepting overtime pay, ever since I returned every extra cent whenever (if ever) I got a little extra on my paycheck. I eventually burned myself out and when I quit, they ended up begging me not to go for 10 days straight ‘til my last day. The managers even promised to send me to the Guadalajara and Mexico City outposts that we had so that I could grow as a bartender. Pretty much petty lies so I would pull a couple weeks more of extra shifts during this holiday season but I didn't buy it. I never talked to Bernardo about quitting, I just had to get out, whenever we talked he told me he considered me a friend. But I didn’t want to let him down. But I know I did and I'm probably dead to him. I never talked to him again. He even sent me a couple messages asking me if I had my submission ready for a couple international competitions. I haven't even opened those messages, I think he blocked me.

But I know how he thinks, cause we do think alike. I had a friend there who was head bartender before I was, they had me take over for him. He started burning out and they made me boss. He got depressed and told me about it. Asked for a day off to sort his feelings out and stuff. I knew how he felt so I ok’d it. He skipped work for three days straight. I spoke with Berna about it, and tried to soften the whole thing cause the other guy was my friend, as in like, “what should I do? I mean I’ve felt like that before and I know how it feels so I don’t wanna be too harsh or something” but he just cut me off and told me it was a load of bullshit and that he was gonna make him go tipless for 2 months, and warned me about pulling that kind of shit myself. And you know, I get him. I get it. Cause we do think alike. In this industry you can’t afford that kind of shit, you either suck it up or go fuck yourself. So when i realized that I was burning out I decided to call it quits before I let them down even further. To be completely honest, I loved the fact that they begged me to stay, promised me growth and promotion at bigger and better cities and a “a pressure free enviroment” as long as stayed for the holidays. I was under the impression that I was doing a horrible job, apparently not so much. The moment I decided to leave they started looking for replacements. As in plural. One barkeep leaves, two openings are posted.

Anyways, this was not supposed to be such a depressing entry. I’m actually kinda sought after tbh, A couple friends from other bars had tried to swipe me from that bar, the owner at the bar they stole me from tried to lure me in again with promises of paying me bartending schools at New York and shit (he’s got the money but he usually doesnt put it where his mouth is, although apparently I was one of his favorites, the maitre’d told me he heard him order the manager to “look after me and keep me happy” while I was there so yeah). And you know, the whole begging-me-to-stay-shit at Palomino’s.

One of my closest friends and his gf actually put in a good word about me at the university they teach at, and I was offered to teach bartending to the culinary students there. Honestly, I do know a lot. Like, a l o t . But you know me, I’m shy as shit and don’t do well in front of crowds, so my classes haven’t really been tip-top. But I’m working on it. They’re twice a week so I haven’t given more than three classes to both groups. Group B seems to like me though, but i think I bore Group A. The rest of my time I’ve dedicated to resting a bit for once, and this week I started kickboxing, so let’s see how that goes. I’m hoping it makes me a bit more assertive. I always struggle to speak my mind at work mostly because you get a motley crew of misfits working at restaurants, so I’ve been threatened with an ass kicking more than twice whenever I get aggressive at work (which i surprisingly often do). I’m also doing it for fitness, and a sense of progression and achievement. I’m doing kinda well, but that happens with every breakdown-cycle-thing. Hoping third time’s the charm.

#anyways #back with the old fashioned shitposting

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therainroguefanfiction · 4 years

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🔥 ℝise Ⱥbove I̾t ◈ Chapter 010 [Unfairness]

📑 Table of Contents | ◂Backward

Word Count: 2,552 ☁

⊱ ────── {⋅. 🔥 .⋅} ────── ⊰

〈“There’s a demon inside. Just like Jekyll and Hyde. All this anger inside.” Five Finger Death Punch, “Jekyll and Hyde”〉

⊱ ────── {⋅. 🔥 .⋅} ────── ⊰

I could feel a presence hovering over me. “Don’t even think about it,” I muttered, opening my eyes to glare at Toshi. His hand was hovering by my cheek, ready to smack me awake.

“Oh, you’re already awake?”

“Unfortunately,” I muttered, rising up like a corpse from a coffin. “I barely slept.”

“Excited?” he grinned.

“Something like that,” I glanced at the clock as I stood up, heading for the bathroom.

“I must be going!” he called. “I will see you at school!”

I flushed the toilet, heading over to the sink to wash my hands. Man, I look like shit. I splashed my face with cold water, hoping it would help to wake me up. Toshi was gone by the time I made it back to the couch. My phone buzzed on the table and I grabbed it, glancing at the clock again. It was only five o’clock and class didn’t start until eight-twenty-five. I took a shower last night so I just had to brush my teeth and get dressed. The phone buzzed again, then again a minute later.

With a scowl, I opened up the gaming app. There were five messages, all from Murder and sent within the last twenty minutes.

‘Oi, extra’

‘Wake the fuck up’

‘I cant sleep’

‘ARE U FUCKING IGNORING ME’

‘ILL KILL U BITCH’

Damn, this kid has some serious anger issues. I settled down under the covers, putting on my headphones and turning on some rock music before replying to him, ‘Keep ur damn panties on. I can give u the name of a good therapist seems like u need 1’

‘Fuck u’

I laughed, ‘When is ur bday? I can send u a diary to vent all that repressed anger fam’

‘FUCK U TACO!!’

I laughed again, tossing my phone onto the table. I closed my eyes, intending only to relax for a bit and listen to some good vibes, but the rock music thumping in my ears lulled me back to sleep.

⊱ ────── {⋅. 🔥 .⋅} ────── ⊰

I winced at the bright light shining directly on my fucking eyes. I really hate those sheer curtains. I pulled the headphones off my head and yawned, reaching for my phone. Eight o’clock. I yawned again, standing up and stretching my arms above my head. I hope there’s some Dr. Pepper left. I need to stop by the store after… school…

My eyes widened as the realization hit me.

School, fuck! I’m gonna be late on my first fucking day! Tosh is gonna murder me, ugh! I got dressed as fast as I could and ended up stubbing my big toe on the fucking coffee table which received an angry kick in retaliation, flipping over onto the floor with a loud thud. I grabbed my phone, shoved my feet into my sneakers and rushed out the door, only to rush back halfway down the stairs because I forgot to fucking lock the door.

It was eight-twenty-one when I made it to school. I stifled a yawn, tugging at the red tie around my neck. Every school I had ever attended was a public school with barely any rules regarding clothing – as long as no one showed up naked, anything was fair game. Being stuffed into this stupid ass uniform made me feel uncomfortable and even a bit claustrophobic, but at least Toshi had convinced Nezu to let me wear the boy’s uniform. I’d fucking drop dead before getting caught in that short ass skirt the girls have to wear.

“You’re late,”

I turned around and deadpanned. Aizawa was standing in front of me, his body completely hidden within a yellow sleeping bag, save for his face which was framed by fluffy black hair. “What the fuck are you wearing, Aizawa? That can’t be the proper apparel for a teacher.”

“‘Sensei,’” he corrected, hopping down the hall like a bunny.

I followed, stuffing my hands into my pockets. “Do you know how stupid you look, though?” When he sent me a glare, I added, “Asking for a friend,”

“Can you at least pretend to take this seriously?”

Bitch, I ain’t the one hopping around in a sleeping bag, okay. I shrugged at him, looking away from his penetrating gaze. “Hey, Aizawa.”

“What,”

“I’m sorry,”

He stopped hopping, but I continued on, rounding the corner. A boy with a mop of messy green hair and a bright red face stood in front of the open classroom door, a round-faced brunette girl geeking out about some punch or some shit. One-Punch Man? Did that even exist in this world? I should head to the book store and see, cause that manga is lit.

I stopped in my tracks, feeling dread settle in my stomach. Wait, maybe it’s just because I didn’t eat breakfast. I noticed movement by my feet and sweatdropped at Aizawa as he inched along the floor like a fucking worm, stopping behind the two. No one noticed him until he spoke up, and the look of horror on their faces was priceless.

“If you’re just here to make friends, then you can pack up your stuff now. Welcome to U.A.’s hero course,” he sighed deeply, tugging down the zipper just enough so he could drink from a pouch of juice.

Aizawa, you’re a literal child and I fucking love it.

He stood up, pushing the zipper down the rest of the way so he could step out of the bag. “It took eight seconds before you all shut up, that’s not gonna work. Tims is precious. Rational students would understand that.” He waved his hand to me and I entered the room, glancing at the seating arrangement pinned to the board.

I’m in the very back row, an odd number. Guess that makes sense. I threw my bag onto my chair before leaning against the desk, my eyes scanning the room. I didn’t recognize anyone but two people. The first is Fumi, who wasn’t paying attention to me. And the second was that damn prep from the exam. Damn, why did he have to be put in this class?

“Hello, I’m Shouta Aizawa, your teacher.” He dug around in the bag and pulled out a gym uniform.

Okay, seriously – what is with the U.A. staff and having endless space? First, it’s Granny with damn endless gummy bear supply and now this fucker with an endless amount of space in a sleeping bag.

“Right, let’s get to it. Put these on and head outside.”

The students hesitantly headed to the locker rooms to get changed into the new uniform, which looked like something you’d wear to the gym. The first thing I did was check to see if the pants had pockets.

⊱ ────── {⋅. 🔥 .⋅} ────── ⊰

Aizawa looked over the group, looking as if he wanted to be anywhere else but here. “We’re going to be doing a quirk assessment test,”

“But… what about orientation?” The brunette asked. “We’re going to miss it!”

“If you really want to make the big leagues, you can’t waste time on pointless ceremonies. Here at U.A., we’re not tethered to tradition. That means I get to run my class however I see fit. You’ve been taking standardized tests most of your lives, but you never got to use your quirk in physical exams before. The country’s still trying to pretend we’re all created equal by not letting those with the most power excel. It’s not rational. One day, the ministry of education will learn.”

That’s pretty deep, fam. I closed my eyes and grabbed my chin. I guess in a way it makes sense. It’s like participation trophies back home. Even if you didn’t do jack shit, you still got a trophy for participating, so even if you lost you still ‘won’. It prevents kids from trying their hardest to reap the rewards.

“Bakugo, you managed to get the most points on the entrance exam.” He looked at the red-eyed blonde. “What was your farthest distance throw with a softball when you were in junior high?”

“Sixty-seven meters, I think.”

“Right. Try doing it with your quirk.” His eyes followed the blonde as he stepped into a circle drawn onto the earth with white chalk. “Anything goes, just stay in the circle. Go on, you’re wasting our time.”

“Alright, man. You asked for it.” Bakugo stretched his arm, clutching the modified softball. “DIE!!” The ball took off into the sky with an explosion propelling it.

Damn, son. That was a bit excessive but mkay.

“All of you need to know your maximum capabilities.” Aizawa’s phone beeped. “It’s the most rational way of figuring out your potential as a pro hero.” The screen on his phone showed 705.2 meters.

I whistled, folding my hands behind my head. That’s kinda impressive. I wonder how far I can throw it?

“Woah, 705 meters, are you kidding me?”

“I wanna go! That looks like fun!”

“This is what I’m talking about. Using our quirks as much as we want!”

Aizawa narrowed his eyes. “So this looks fun, huh?”

Oh boy, he’s about to get all dramatic again, ain’t he?

“You have three years here to become a hero. You think it’s all going to be games and playtime? Idiots,” He smirked, but it looked kinda sadistic. “Today, you’ll compete in eight physical tests to gauge your potential. Whoever comes in last has none, and will be expelled immediately.”

Called it.

Everyone started to freak out at the statement and I sighed, looking up at the clear blue sky. I had grown to know this man pretty well after spending every single day with him for months and I had no doubt in my mind that he would expel anyone he deemed unworthy. It sounds cruel, but I know he has his reasons, whatever the hell that was. I feel like, more than anything, he’s just trying to ruffle some jimmies. And it’s working.

“Like I said, I get to decide how this class runs.” He pushed back his bangs with his hand. “Understand? If that’s a problem, you can head home right now.”

“Pfffttt,” I tried so fucking hard to hold back my laughter, I really did, but the bitch looked like a little kid trying to act tough to intimidate someone older. He snapped his glare to me and I quickly turned my back to him, trying to control myself.

“Is there a problem, Winchester?”

The way he said my name told me that I was definitely going to get hit later. I coughed a few times, banging on my chest before turning around with my hand covering my mouth. “Ah, no, not at all, sensei.” cough cough. “Sorry, I’m recovering from a cold, don’t mind me.”

The other students were staring at me with a mixture of disbelief and amusement.

“Wait a minute, you can’t send one of us home!” The brunette exclaimed. “I mean, we just got here! Even if it wasn’t the first day, that isn’t fair!”

Oh no. She said the F word.

“Oh, and you think natural disasters are? Or power-hungry villains, hm? Or catastrophic accidents that wipe out whole cities? No. The world is full of unfairness. It’s a hero’s job to try and combat that unfairness. For the next three years, U.A. will throw one terrible hardship after another at you. So go beyond -”

“Plus ultra style,” I stepped forward with a grin, locking eyes with him. I had heard the ‘fairness’ speech before, shortly after we started training together. He hated it when I used that word against him, and he always repeated the same thing each time, drilling it into my head that the world just isn’t fair. That isn’t something parents tell kids when they can’t have their way, it’s a real, life lesson that kids gotta learn the hard way.

He nodded at me, the corners of his lips twitching. He totally almost just smiled. “Show me it’s no mistake that you’re here. Now then, we’re just wasting time by talking. Let the games begin!”

“Jen~!”

I turned just as my vision was overtaken by a black and purple blur. My eyes widened, body seizing with fear as I remembered the darkness surrounding me. My breathing grew heavy as Gramp’s lifeless face flashed in my mind, my body beginning to shake as my skin grew hot. I could hear muffled voices, but only one stood out to me.

‘I have come to bring you home, Jen Winchester.’

“Jen!”

A familiar feeling settled over my body, like someone had slammed the door shut before my power could escape. My vision started to focus, settling on Fumi who stood in front of me in a defensive posture. Shadow hovered behind him, tears in his eyes as he stared at me in fear. I glanced to the left, scanning the scared and wide-eyed expressions of my classmates. And then I met Aizawa’s red, glowing eyes. He’s using his quirk… on me?

The block on my power ceased and Aizawa speed walked over to me. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding, a small puff of smoke escaping my lips. My body was trembling, the pendant around my neck like a block of ice against my skin. He put a hand on my arm and helped me to my feet. When had I fallen to the ground?

“Go see the old lady,” he ordered into my ear.

“What? But – the test -”

“You don’t need to take it, just go.”

“I-I’m fine, really, Aiza -”

“I wasn’t asking,”

“Sensei, I can take her.” Fumi’s posture relaxed a bit as he stepped forward.

Aizawa was quiet for a moment. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,”

Fumi held his hand out to me and I hesitantly took it, feeling confusion bubbling within me. Did I… try to attack Fumi? But why the fuck would I?

He gently tugged on my hand, leading me toward the school building. I could feel everyone staring at us as we left and I just wanted to disappear. When we stepped into the building, he turned to me with soft eyes. “Are you okay?”

“Did I… try to hurt you?”

“I’m not quite sure…” He held his hand up to his mouth. “I believe Dark Shadow startled you and you blacked out temporarily. Your quirk may have activated as a self-defense mechanism.”

“Did you get hurt?” My eyes scanned his body, but he looked unharmed.

“No, I’m perfectly fine. You just startled Dark Shadow.”

Great, I’ve got fucking PTSD now because of that stupid ass shadow man. I put my hand on my face and huffed. “Sorry, Fumi…”

“No need to worry. Dark Shadow shouldn’t have rushed at you like he did.”

“I’m really sorry…” Shadow mumbled sadly, sticking close to Fumi’s shoulder.

I forced a smile, holding my hand out to him. He looked at it for a moment, looked at Fumi, and then back at my hand. Slowly, as if not to startle me again, he placed his clawed hand on mine. His cold body was calming against my warm skin. “Forgive and forget?”

He nodded happily, rushing toward me only to stop and shake his head. He approached slowly, nuzzling his head against my shoulder. I smiled for real this time, patting him before we continued on to the nurse’s office in comfortable silence, Shadow lingering between us.

⊱ ────── {⋅. 🔥 .⋅} ────── ⊰

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raindrop-rouge · 6 years

Text

How well do you know your best friend?

Original post here. Answer these questions about your bff, your tumblr bff, or just anyone you want to show a lot of appreciation on here to!!!!

I was tagged by @chiruchill and will answer the questions about her (and tagging her back!!!). Tagging @shulkie @milleandra-nebula @crying-abt-fictional-people , uh chiru also tagged @glassesgirl0401 and @gray-x-natsus-matching-hip-scars but it didn’t seem to work? idk guys feel free to spread the love but also feel free to ignore!!! (I HIGHLY recommend getting the questions from the original post, I rambled for MILES in every single question you don’t wanna read the below trust me)

1. What is your best friend’s dream job, and why? Man, idk that you’ve ever blabbed about something specific, like I know you’d love to run a café with me, or a library with your mom, or any kind if small store like that... Obviously I know you were ready to invest a lot of time and effort into teaching too... Any job that would give you enough time and self management to allow you to spend time with your dogs really ahaha

2. What is their biggest pet peeve, and why do you think that is? The main one is people being 1) messy and 2) loud. A few weeks ago I would have just said “well you’re considerate and wish they could be too”, but I said I’d be brutally honest about this and girl... I read something a little while ago and I am genuinely worried your hyperawareness of everyone around you stems from something more specific, but we can talk about it whenever

3. What is their favourite TV series (live action)? LMAO GO AWAY I GET THE MESSAGE I will watch Arrested Development asap

4. What is their favourite TV series (animated)? Ahaha you’ve recommended a lot of quality comedies to me over the years, do you have an ultimate fave though? I know there was that group of school girls comedy gdi I watched it but forget the name >< welp

5. What does your best friend value most in life, and why? (Do you think they value most what they say they do, or something else?) Holy shit ok this goes right back to a thing the guys were talking about earlier. I’m gonna say your dogs, like you do say you do :p If we’re talking values in people/ ways of life... What the guys brought up was that you say you only want a simple life with just what we need, but... well, I guess we all know none of us have ANY idea what a minimal life is like, so I’d say what you mean by that is, you do value the life standard we currently have, where we never have to worry about a solid roof over our heads, food, and enough money left to support your pets. So yeah, my answer is 1) your dogs, and 2) the kinda life where we can support them x)

6. How would you describe their style, and how would they describe it? Colorful (but that’s how us French see all Scandinavians tbh), comfortable, like effortless but still cute? You’d probably agree it’s colorful but then say it’s not “stylish” though XD I think you just really like cute things but muuuuch prefer comfort first

7. If you were to decorate a room for your best friend, what would it look like, and why? !!!!! Aaahhh I’m a shit decorator with no taste, but I’d keep it minimal cause that’s how you feel best! A massive bed for you and your dogs, maybe nice tall lights you can reach from the bed but light the room well... A bookshelf... A pretty big desk... I’d want to add lots of plants and pillows, but idk if you’d want that clutter :/ Colors would be white beige and either pastel green or pastel pink.

8. What do you think their best quality is? You know how during a mario kart race you can see the names shuffle on the side as players cut in front or fall behind, that’s what your qualities are doing in my head now... You’re patient, so strong and independent (which I admire endlessly), generous, smart, but I guess what really sets you apart from me is your specific sense of humor and just wit in general??? idk how to explain, it’s not just that you make me laugh, it’s everything you say, I know only you would come up with that at that moment. It’s a big part of what makes me so excited when I’m around you, and a big part of why I miss you so badly when I’m not.

9. What does your best friend think their best quality is? Would they agree with you? Yee you think you’re funny and you’re right :p Unless now you think your patience is your top quality given how much you’ve put up with lately

10. What is your best friend’s favourite book (or book series)? The Hobbit

11. What do you have in common with your best friend? LMAO our shitty sense of humor... Omg what else though :o we’re really different... maybe how difficult we are when it comes to really letting people in? idk please answer this one better than me

12. How did you meet, and what was your first impression of your best friend? First day of uni!!!! I was lost and confused, she had papers and was alone and therefore less intimidating, I asked her where she got the documents from... And once I got them, I think sheeee was the one to offer we sit next to each other while I was munching on my apple ahaha. I missed the next meeting, but after that she saw me at the bus stop, and offered to wait for the bus with me??? Kindest thing anyone had ever done for me at that point in my life, so yeah... How far we’ve come :’) Very first impression though... “she looks reasonable enough to talk to... Oh she’s nice... Yay she’s really nice!!!” ahaha

13. What does your best friend spend their free time doing, and why do you think they choose to do what they do? Reading, petting the dogs, watching stuff, gaming... It’s escapism isn’t it babe :’) Anything that’s relaxing and distracts you from whatever is happening irl

14. Who is their favourite fictional character, and why? Luigi cause he wears green lmao and cause he’s like the “second” brother and therefore deserves more love

15. What’s the first thing you tell other people when you talk about your best friend? “So Chiru - she’s my best friend and you’ll be hearing about her every day -” ACTUAL LINE SERVED TO ALL MY CO-WORKERS. And then I tend to say we lived together for 2 years, and that I miss you a lot

16. What’s your favourite story about them? Is there a single fave...How we met, how we came to do our groceries together and suddenly became unseparable, MY SURPRISE BDAY x2, coming to cheer for me at cheer, casually inviting me to your home, Nice (omg you reading Scandinavia and the world to me!!), our Japan travels, everything, right up to getting your last dog, is a highlight in my life

17. What’s your least favourite story about them? :))) fuck if I am telling that on here. Oh shit I said I’d be honest. Look... I think sometimes you forget I’m pretty insecure and basically any minor (or... you know... not so minor) event that makes me think maybe you’ll leave me behind after all is just like. uhm. “least favorite stories” is a mild way to explain how I feel about those times

18. Why do you think you two ended up becoming best friends? My dudes I wonder a lot. I know it’s so much more than just living together, if anything that makes most people hate each other. It’s shared values, willingness to make balanced efforts for each other, an endless stream of ideas for fun coming from both sides, similar interests... I don’t know, but Chiru I am just so grateful everyday I did find you

19. Would you be honest with your best friend if they were happy doing something, but you think it might end up harming them in the end? Ouch. Ok well... The truth is sometimes I doooo worry, but I’m so convinced you know what you’re doing so much better than I do, that no, I tend to trust whatever you say, if you’re convinced (/telling me you’re convinced) that what you’re doing isn’t harming you, I’ll believe you. At least, that’s what I tell myself... A part me of does worry, though, that I just don’t speak up because you’ll already have all the arguments ready and we’ll just unnecessarily argue about it, and I’ll end up hurt, and yes exactly it’s as bad as it sounds, I’m worried I wouldn’t want to fight you over your happiness in case it would result in hurt feelings. I’m a mess, this is terrible and I gotta work on that

20. Does your best friend play any instruments? Why do you think they chose that instrument? BISH SAYS SHE CAN SORTA PLAY THE GUITAR AND PIANO BUT HAS SHE PLAYED FOR ME YET, I THINK NOT. I am unappreciated, where is my serenade (jk jk, I realy doooo wanna hear you play though!!)

21. Do you and your best friend have a dream for the future, if so, what is it? Move in with me please it’s the one thing that keeps me going

22. What is one thing you have always wanted to tell your best friend, but never have? :)))) ((((: *digs through a million letter drafts and hell, fic drafts, we all know where my inspiration comes from anyway* Sigh... Well first of all I need you to know you’re the most beautiful and kind soul I have ever encountered. Please get that through your head. Secondly... I don’t think I’d have EVER brought this up, but that’s what the question is aiming for, isn’t it... You probably only held my hand in Barcelona because I was so black-out wasted you were worried I wouldn’t follow you home otherwise, but it made me sort of ridiculously happy, and I guess I wouldn’t mind if it happened again

23. What do you think your best friend’s life will be like 10 years from now? What I’m thinking or wishful thinking hah... Thinking, well... deep breath, you’ll be alright :) You’ll have a comfortable home somewhere you like, with a job that suits you. You’re too stubborn to settle for any less. Your dogs are with you, of course. And so is whoever will be lucky enough to be chosen by you. You can guess based on that what the wishful thinking is

24. What song makes you think of your best friend? IT’S 4:18 AM AND HONESTLY THERE ARE SO MANY TO CHOOSE FROM (anything from Just Dance tbh XD) BUT I CHOOSE THIS GEM (45:21) because fukkit it’s cold as heeeeck in my room right now and I’m only listening to this kind of music

25. Just to end on a mean note, what’s your best friend’s worst personality trait? (Be honest now, guys, none of that “they’re just too kind” bullshit) Worst? You wanna hear something crazy... Well you know I miss you, I always do and have been for so long now, but once I thought maybe if I listed everything that maybe weren’t the beeesst parts of your personality, and all the parts of my personality that probably annoyed you, I’d force myself to accept that maybe it’d be best for us to stop living together... And gdi I tried. But it’s just a really ridiculous list ... or at least it was, until that one night... Remember when one of my friends took my phone and texted you quite extensively, and that went really really badly? Well here’s the moment of truth: (hey it’s 4:25 now and I was out) I had broken down sobbing after you compared me to your dogs again :’) Look, sober me can rationally process your way of thinking. But... I guess deep down, we’re not the same, I want to be loved and appreciated like a human being. I’m genuinely sorry I couldn’t bring myself to tell you this sooner, idk what I was so scared of. So, uh, “worst” personality trait (which really isn’t one but)... omg I can’t even phrase this without turning it against myself ahaha, like it’s my own fault for telling you that everything was fine when it wasn’t. So look this isn’t even about your worst personality trait, I guess it’s me realizing I gotta stop lying about crap, and I hope you’ll be considerate and understanding like always :’)

#my moon and stars #it's 3:24 am starting time #wish me luck #it is now 4:32 am and fml #this hangover is gonna suuuuuuck

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estuarries · 7 years

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baby’s first liveshow commentary

hello lads i have decided to attempt doing @nihilist-toothpaste inspired video commentary/write up/review thingies!!!! welcome to ramble-y fun time

phil’s liveshow on august 10, 2017

his smile in the first minute makes my heart so happy i love him so much

i love the eye-tongue-eye emoji stop being mean to it

he’s a bit late bc he just finished filming a new ap vid!!! it took him longer than he thought it would to finish filming bc he was rambling. this is a #relatable brain thing

“i just said goodbye and now i’m saying hello again!” wrt filing and then doing a liveshow makes me rly happy bc i wouldn’t have thought abt it that way. i love phil’s brain

new vid clues: paper bag(?) and bubble wrap. amazingphil asmr part ii??

dan’s not joining the liveshow bc he has a headache but phil’s gonna hop into dan’s next one

closed eyes and happy gesticulation whilst telling sleepy-morning “unexpected window cleaning man frightened me” story

phil’s fight/flight/freeze response is freeze

“imagine if i had decided to make breakfast naked! ...if i was that kind of person…” its okay m8 we know u like to make nakey bro brunches w danyul

are the emoji pants the only pair of graphic pj pants he has now ??? why are they being featured so prominently lately ???? phil IS an emoji is the only phnnie conspiracy i can support now

in the ap vid phil did SCIENCE and REACTED TO THINGS (chemistry . reaction . hehe :3)

he’s out of tv shows to watch ….he and dan have watched so many series together over the years ..... i am emotional

phil hasnt watched in a heartbeat EITHER !! BLASPHEMOUS BOYES!!!

re: rick and morty. i strongly agree and it makes me so nervous that rick burps all the time i cannot focus on whats happening in the show bc rick gives me so much anxiety

he misses the cherry blossom tree in thehowlter’s front yard and they are hopefully going to put it in when they have money

“you’re all like dan! not everything has to be symmetrical!” thank u for these affirmations that not everything has to be perfect thank u for being chill. a chill phil.

“i dont mind a little bit of wonkiness!” “i’m at a bit of a wonk!” “is the entire house wonky?” the only real phil branding is ~WOnKy~

phils hands are so beautiful???? i love them?????? @ 8:50ish

him trying to figure out his best side and saying “one? or two?” as options like at the optometrist when ur getting ur eyes checked.

someone in the chat: “both!” phil’s cheeky grin/”don’t flatter me!!!” response

someone in the chat: “side three!” i snort laughed along w phil this is truly Good Content. dark!phil RISE

phil doesn’t think he really has a bad side and his easy neutrality wrt his physical appearance is dreamy. i love him and i love that he’s comfy w himself like this

phil had an eye infection and this is the first day he’s been without glasses…… why does he glasses-bait us like this …..

it’s really hard for him to concentrate with dilated pupils so that’s why he was being a wee bit wonky in the last liveshow

his eye is no longer infected and is “white and ready to see!”. the tone of his voice, his accent, and the phrasingof that reminded me so much of my british grandma who i havent seen in a few years and now i want to call her i miss her

wicked was “as the kids say...Wicked.” I SNORTED AKLHFAEIHKF

also i cannot believe that he and dan used the same silly phrasewhen talking about their opinions of wicked. is it still #copyrightinfringement if its your bf blatantly enterprising ur intellectual property?

phil was feeling a bit meh going into wicked but now he’s converted and a fan

he loved defying gravity :(

phil: every audience is important! me: crying

phil loves coming-of-age/college/highschool aus … Me Too

phil remix: the top fans to the tune of mad world “all around me are familiar faces...lillyphanstuff, joteleena…”

he’s had “mad world” and also that fuckin. ditty song stuck in his head

“...is one thicc bih - NO!” is the best thing ive ever heard

im so sad that phil hasnt experienced the joys of ditty. apparently he doesn’t have it downloaded and doesn’t really know what it is

14:07 is my new ringtone (he sang the ditty tune in “doot doot doot”s)

“bandicussy” IM DEAD

phil thought it was a good family activity to see dunkirk but it made his parents very emotional bc his maternal grandad was in the war

making your entire family cry is apparently the phil way to entertain

neither he nor dan understood the timelines of dunkirk upon first watch

after filming his ap vid he sanitized using vanilla cupcake hand sanitizer

he watches zoe’s bath and bodyworks candle/lotion hauls??????? ME TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

apparently b&bw has some ~priiiicey~ candles. phil is the coupon clipping, consumer reports reading dad

he said that livestreaming games on dapg would be “dope”. i am reminded for the millionth time that he is a 30 year old white man. i am moderately uncomfortable.

jk it was someone in the chat who said it he was just reading the comment

“hi to the ‘phan’s moving boxes’ group chat”

facterino according to the nature man on tv: in england nature has decided that it’s autumn already. this is evidenced by blackberries coming out in august. because fall isstartingso early they’re expected to have a harsh winter but its fine bc he is excited for snow!

some climate change discourse

he’s not a big doctor who fan but his fav doctor is david tennant

he’s excited for the “lady doctor” and i’m uh. not a huge fan of that wording

23:02 pre-sneeze noises and hand motions are Delightful

apparently it’s southern england peeps who pronounce scone with a hard o (scOHne) and northerners pronounce it with a soft o (scAWn). phillu doesn’t know which pronunciation he uses

my mom grew up in cornwall (and moved to america when she was a teen. i’m american btw!) and pronounces it the northern way. we’ve had the scohne vs scawn debate!! lots of #britishfamilythings in this liveshow

philly homework motivation song @ 24:52

his first response to ppl being sad about school starting in a week is to calculate how many seconds are in a week so they can re-frame their time left in a way that feels more plentiful. i love this ???

i also really love how he tries to read premium messages from different people every time. idk that’s just really thoughtful and as a fan i really appreciate it

he knows that black makes him look good …. GOodBYe

today is world lion day!

phil is the one who puts the funny/random holidays on the dnp calendars. of course it was but im still so happily surprised

doinganap’s sicth/sixth discourse

he’s reading people from the chat’s bdays and telling them what funny holidays are on their birthdays! i love how he finds different ways to get ppl in the chat involved every liveshow. i appreciate him so much !like yeah i know its a marketing thing but let me pretend its solely phil’s care for us

he wants to go back to japan

he can’t read or edit and listen to music at the same time! me neither

someone asked what a good pet would be and phil went on a lil tangent about how it’s important to have enough time to take care of the pet you choose!! dont get an exotic pet or a breed of non-exotict pet that requires a lot of time, money, or energy to care for it if you’re not at a point in your life where u can take care of it to the best of your ability! <3

hedgehogs are one of the most common animals in the uk??? what the heck?

he can’t remember whether or not he’s seen a hedgehog irl so he texts mum lester to ask <3 why is this the sweetest thing in the world . like seeing a hedgehog irl would be an experience that his family facilitated or even if he was moved out when it happened it would have been so exciting that he def would have told kath about it. so any way it happened she would know about it. my heart is Warm.

he’s not a huge summer candle burner but as soon as it’s september he’ll be on the pumpkin spice train

mum lester texted back and apparently his grandparents had a family of hedgehogs in their garage and his granddad built them a little hedgehog house to hibernate in :( wow!

phil might play shelter 2 … with dan. No Thank You. let us have some phil-only time plz

shelter 2 is more of an autumnal game so he might do it later when he can cozy up with some cocoa and herd the badger babies

he feels a coffee buzz after five (5) chocolate-covered coffee beans. r u sure u even drink coffee phil????

rye bread is worse (in phil’s opinion) than regular bread and is ”claggy”. i busted out laughing and texted my mom IMMEDIATELY bca LOOOONG time ago we were at a family christmas party with my dad’s extended family and all of the Adults were playing scrabble. my mom ended up spelling claggy and everyone else was like THATS A MADE UP WORD WHAT THE FUCK!!!! and my mom was like ???? no its not? my dad’s family is from the eastern us and had never heard the word claggy before and i remember my dad giving my mom shit about it for YEARS afterward because she caused such an uproar. idk if it was a regional thing or if americans just don’t say claggy but REGARDLESS. my mom and i had a good laugh over this description of rye bread and we both love phil

he’s nervous abt what dalien is going to look like and become as he grows up. phil’s general reaction to dalien has been one of caution and nervousness and idk ?? someone more thoughtful analyze that please

his advice for making the most of the last bits of summer: do something you haven’t done before! immediately after bestowing upon us this Wise Advice he giggles and becomes self aware of his parental tone. Our Dad Is Becoming Self Aware

he doesnt swear around his parents?????? my mom says fuck all the time :0

2018 calendar and season two pastel plushies are in the works!

he’s singing another song to list the top fans. suggestions include toxic, the ditty tune, and the tetris theme. he goes with the ditty song and starts laughing in the middle of it so makes a seamless musical transition to toxic

if everything recorded properly with his new vid we should see it in the next few days!

he hopes that we have a lovely weekend and that whatever we end up doing brings us a bit of happiness :( i love him thank u phil

tiny little bonus song after he covers up the camera. schrodingers phil.

all in all i love phil’s liveshows and this has been the highlight of my day. thank u for reading!

#mine #commentary #amazingphil #phil lester

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ravings-running-rampant-blog · 6 years

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Wtf m8....

So one thing i know i could talk for days about is people. I watch more then i ever chose to interact. I dont know if it was fear of not fitting in or knowing i dont fit in and hoping desperately to be able to relate anyways. Recently ive felt a strong desire to write something that will outlast and outlive my life on this planet. Ive been trying to figure out what would still be usefull in terms of knowledge i can pass on and ive only come to one conclusion, my experience. After im no longer a part of this physical world i can still share my mind with many others. Ive gone through some rough shit to get to where i am today and id like to preface this by saying im still a work in progress and hope it stays that way.... Throughout the entirety of my life one thing has remained true, i wake up and i try each day to be better then i was the previous day. No matter how big or small, i wasnt satisfied till i thought i was doing something to better myself. Hindsight 20/20 i can honestly say that even though the path was treacherous i wouldnt have done things differently, i like where my head is and i like whats ahead of me. That doesnt mean it didnt start out rocky. Before the age of 5 id known the loss of a father figure and id lost close relatives as well. Id seen my mom deal with life-changing events, i got to watch how she coped with it all and i got to understand growing up in the 90s without a positive male rolemodel. I had a abusive childhood, no real dad so i kept trying to find something i could learn from and someone to look up to. Everywhere i looked i saw deadbeat dads... my own father i cant even be sure is my father cuz he was on too many drugs to impregnate my mom, she was sleeping with a sperm donor at the time. Honestly the man i call dad is who i believe to be my dad....weve got too many things in common. Ive got too damn many of his bad habits i need to break and its wierd but ya know when you wear a hat on your head long enough it smells like you? My hat and my dads hats smell the same, he smells like me. He wasnt much of a dad to begin with but he was definitely my dad... he drank excessively, smoked way too much weed, did one too many lines of blow and smoked cigarettes like a chimney. He used to recycle his own shells, for target practice, so he had a smell of gun cleaner and lubricants attached to him no matter where ya found him but if he wasnt workin then youd find him at the billiards hall playin pool or back home sleepin. He owned an old airstream trailer that he had renovated and added onto, he had two lots to begin with, one was an enclosed workshop mainly for his carpentry and the other was the trailer and addons. I remember when i was still very young and we would take trips in the old chevy from Vancouver to squamish and back. I remember how i would curl up between my mom and dad and sleep the whole trip, i remember when that changed and my father became the one who looked at me as a waste of his time too.... It was progressive, it wasnt like anything happened quickly, but it was noticeable. One week hed be excited and mostly sober, hed have something for us to do and then one week id be forgotten...id have to get to the house on my own because he forgot where he was picking me up. The less i saw of him the easier it became. I could forget i even had a dad, i would forget too.... by the time i was two years old my mom had nearly gotten herself and me on our feet without dad. Got a place for the two of us and liked her job, blah blah blah. I was an independent individual even at that age. Ask my mom and she will tell you stories of my intelligence even at a young age. She will tell you how i knew 100 words at the age of 1, how i used to recite everything i heard as i fell asleep, How when she opened the fridge id start listing everything i could see and knew the name of. I dont believe it....it could be possible but likely? I leave my momma to her stories, all mommas got em. After we moved into our new second floor appt things calmed a little, until the car accident, it changed everything for everyone. My mom was in the back passenger side i was up front and my grandma was driving, it was supposed to be bday dinner for me to clelebrate with my family.. i was supposed to be turning 4 that year. We collided head on with an oncoming vehicle, they drove on the wrong side of the highway so there was no avoiding it. After the initial impact we were battered on all the remaining sides by 4 other vehicles and found out that we couldnt move. The firefighters had to use the jaws of life to peel the roof off just to get everyone out safely. My mom suffered 12 fractures on her left side which was damn near crushed and my grandma died in a coma six months after the accident. I remember my moms tears, i remember grammas passing was right after my mom came to see her in the icu. My mom had 6 months of PT and when she could move again she went to see her mom and tell her its ok and that she was safe. I was mute for 6 months while i stayed with my dad, said nothing. I still feel for that little kid, if i could remind him life isnt always comfortable i would. While my mother was staying at the hospital i was stuck at my dads and i hated it. I hated feeling like it was my fault, i hated how he didnt know how to talk to me or even check on me at all. I did more for him then he really did for me, i fed myself and cleaned up after myself. I wanted him to be my dad, i wanted to be taught how to be a better man. I didnt wanna have to run to my mom to get all those questions answered...moms and dads do shit differently, different timing and scheduling. A moms idea of whats best for a boy to learn while becoming a man is different then what dad thinks and i was lacking alot of the male side of things. When i needed a role model it was already too late, i needed alot of guiding. I needed someone who would have been able to call me on my shit and make it difficult for me to get away with whatever i wanted. By the time i was old enough to understand that sometimes we grow up too fast most of what still made me innocent was no longer important to me. I had just uprooted my life to move half way across a country to live with a family i barely know and to start over in a place we would be able to get the help my mom really wanted. I felt out of place and i truly havent felt belonging since we landed on july 16th 2001... turns out even tho they call themselves family they are just related acquaintances.... we were closer before moving and when we actually needed help from them well it was always conditional and instead of handling it like family everyone dealt with it like their opinion matters most. We dont talk anymore, i havent heard from them in at least ten years. Its always just been me and my mom on our own and instead of turning that into what it could have been we caught ourselves up in what the 'Right' thing to do or the best thing to was and we were wingin it. Its hard always knowing what the best or smartest choices are but its not hard to figure out which choices will benefit you short-term/long-term. In all honesty we came at a time when things were changing worldwide, we saw the worst things bringing out the best and worst of everyone. I remember walking into my private school on 9/11 and being utterly confused at the importance of those buildings and why this was even on tv let alone holding up everyone from daily curriculum. I remember the way everyone kinda huddled together, as if the proximity to more people would make em stronger. Like if we shared in this moment we could instantly bind our fears and strengthen our resolve, together. It actually worked for a little while too but the thing about fear is that its always there somewhere, lurking. We became bound as one nation, bound by an act committed against not who we are but also what we stand for. Bound by such as weve never seen, my heart goes out to all affected and those still suffering, god bless you. 9/11 was trying to undo everything this country stands for and everything that makes america great, 9/11 was fed to the dissolutioned masses as a way to unite the people under a single banner. We needed a cause and used it to fuel a fire that spread fast and far. We were in need of a leader whos decisions were for the betterment of our country, we got a daddys boy playing whitehouse instead. I dont have many nice things to say about the way this country was and is run nor do i have anything bad to say about it either but one things for damn sure.... i think everything is coming to a head.....an ugly ass greygreen mess of a whitehead ready to pop and spew its poison deeper into the world as we know it. I think things have been leading towards an upheaval of some sort, a revolt of some kind, for at least ten years now.... we live in a pocket of reality where its easier to buy and own a gun then it is to keep food in your family's bellies. We live in a country whos figurehead is a man made famous by broadcast television and whos admittedly a womanizer and racist..... immigrants are what made this country and now these people we made it so easy to accommodate for have run out of their own usefulness. I cant possibly be the only person whos eyes are open enough to see the truth, im not the only one who is experiencing things like this am i? Now i understand that because im not born here you may think my opinion means less and i understand that if i have a problem i can just go back to canada but what if i dont want to? What if im so far from what i know that everything has started to look to me like this shit is just the new normal? Anyone else seeing the problem there???? I guess our idea of what is and isnt normal is so skewed now everything just seems....caddywompus... its gotta be easier to ignore what they feed you when it looks like something your used to eating.... Every day is designed to break down our barriers and make us search outside ourselves, we are simultaneously pushed into finding someone to use and sacrificing them for our own personal benefit.... we meet new people each day and somehow we understand that these people are supposed to mean nothing, they are replaceable...somewhere along the line the message got skewed tho cuz not a single person alive right now is replaceable and everybody has meaning to someone. This country will chew ya up and spit you right on out if ya aint watchin.... at the worst of times life keeps growing like a tumor and at the best of times its flooding the halls with the scent of fresh cut flowers. Am i the only one who can see just how convoluted the future is going to be? Almost like the farther along we go in this pregnancy, the more likely the kids gunna pop out with a vestigial tail or some shit. This is america, im learning you either embrace the change or get thrown out with the rest of the trash. Till next time. =)

#wtf #america #truth

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