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#cats lover language
simpsonkidd26 · 1 year
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Top Cat Care Tips And Helpful Advice For Your Furry Friend
Cats are being among the most popular pets on earth. They make excellent buddies and require a lot less work than having a dog. However, it is important to note there you've still got several responsibilities to take care of when you have a cat. The article below will show you what those tasks are. Move any kind of drape cords from a cat's reach. Do not let your cat participate in with these. When the cords are in loops and the cat jumps in to them or takes on with them, they could possibly get these people caught around their very own neck. This may cause injury or perhaps death. Therefore , ensure that drape cords are pinned faraway from your cat's reach. love language of cats Putting a warm tile beneath the bed associated with a more mature cat will help this rest comfortably. Heat a fabric protected heating pad inside the microwave for some sort of couple of moments, making sure that will is not too hot to the touch. Wrap that in an aged towel and put it under your current cat's bed or perhaps blanket. Change it out and about every few hours if you feel the need. Pick a superior quality food. The real key to a healthful cat starts along with nutrition. Take a look at typically the ingredients label. If you look at most "popular" business cat foods, you may be surprised to observe the top element listed is hammer toe. Cats are flesh eaters, so find a food with a specific meat as the particular top ingredient. An individual may pay much more up front, but these meals are often more nutritionally dense, that means your cat takes less and the bag longer lasting. Become careful when your cat for fleas. Be sure to be able to consult with your current vet before employing natural alternatives to be able to control your cat's fleas. Cats are usually very sensitive in order to essential oils and lots of herbs. Your veterinary will probably recommend you use a doctor prescribed flea treatment, which is usually finest for cats. Cats are constantly tidying themselves, and this specific is why that they rarely need the bath. If your current cat enters a thing particularly stinky, the bath will certainly not hurt them. If your cat does not like drinking water you might need to wear gloves so that a person do not acquire scratched. You might also want to enlist the assist of a buddy or family participant. Don't use doggie portions for your cat. Cats can certainly have strong poor reactions into a product or service that is created for a canine. Flea products specially. When used in your cat, flea products for canines can be deadly. Make sure to be able to separate your cat from your doggy after spraying. Give you a new cat some space. Moving to some new home could be stressful on a new cat, especially 1 who is no longer a kitten. To help these groups adapt, give them a quiet place that they can call their very own, like a spare restroom or laundry place. Thus giving them some sort of safe space they will can retreat to until they have got become comfortable with exploring the entire home. Depending on typically the cat, this technique might take a few days up to 30 days or more. Keep your cat healthy and non-finicky by launching a varied diet plan. Always purchase many different brands of meals and rotate them. In this method, your cat will certainly be used in order to trying and taking new tastes. If one food brand goes out of business, you may always have lots of other acceptable choices to provide. Save your pieces of furniture with scratching posts and pads. This is natural for cats to actually want to stretch their claws out and damage. This does not mean that a kitten owner will need to have destroyed furniture. Provide your own cat with places that it is usually okay to scuff and redirect these people there if they will decide to try the sofa. Pet cat scratching posts arrive in many styles and materials and even some cats try some fine particular type therefore it may take several learning from your errors before you find the right combination for your current kitty. Feed the cat a suitable diet. Cats are carnivores and have special dietary needs. Feed them quality cat food that offers been approved by AAFCO or the Association of American Give food to Control Officials. When you wish to be able to choose your cat's foods yourself, make positive you speak along with a vet about necessary supplements or even specific recipes that will your cat needs to eat. As seemed to be mentioned in typically the beginning of this article, owning a cat can be quite a wonderful experience. Nevertheless , it is going to require some work on the part. Be sure and make use of the information provided in this content so that an individual are taking proper care of your people. Doing so will ensure that your kitty lives a long and even happy life.
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lyonsusdgriffith · 2 years
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Have Got A Wholesome Pet cat With These Tips
Pet cats are one of the cutest critters on this planet. They're really fun with a lot of men and women they fulfill and have a helpful personality. If you've wanted to own a kitty, but weren't positive what you must do to manage one particular, then this article is just what you require. Have a peek.
Verify-ups are a definite have to for any dog pet cat. Your kitty demands a number of vaccines and photos to prevent sickness, in fact it is also essential to identify health problems well before they turn out to be as well significant. Only use the same veterinary clinic if you can. By doing this, the veterinary can be really knowledgeable about your cat along with its record.
Enable kittens and cat-warm and friendly family pet dogs get acquainted with one another slowly and gradually. Create a baby gate to hold canines in just one space although your brand-new kitten will get accustomed to its surroundings. Supervise meticulously when the kitten endeavors on the gate to fulfill the canines. If the kitten seems secure, it is going to climb up the door. If this seems threatened, it can burst back over to protection.
Have your kids allow you to keep up with the cat. Assign day-to-day tasks such as giving the cat and cleansing the litter box. Not only will taking care of the cat teach them responsibility, furthermore, it will give you a rest from these activities. Which means that you are able to take more time cuddling together with your cat.
Avoid eye contact to create close friends by using a kitty. Possibly speculate why cats seem to be fascinated by the one who wants cats minimal? The answer lies in feline physique terminology. To cats, gazing is "rude" and can be viewed as an issue. Seeking aside shows that you regard their room and are not likely to be a risk. So the next time you are planning to meet a whole new feline friend, appear away and permit them to technique you.
For your cat ages, changes in actions could signal discomfort. Should your cat doesn't like to bounce or climb up any more, it can be in soreness. When your pet cat stops looking after grooming or halts making use of its kitty litter box, pain might be the trigger. Be sure you have your more aged feline examined by your veterinarian if you notice behavior modifications.
Ensure you have a good family pet service provider or basket for moving your pet cats from a single spot to another. A suitable carrier or basket should have sufficient space so they can change in pleasantly. It also need to be simple to thoroughly clean. Be sure that it can be lined by using a blanket, cushion, or cloth to assist it stay comfy and cozy to them when you are traveling.
Get yourself a itching article and also hardwearing . kitty from tearing increase your carpeting. When you can, get a article that does not have the same kind of rug that is certainly on to the floor of your residence, which means that your pet cat doesn't associate both the. As an alternative, get yourself a submit that may be included in cardboard, sisal, or dense rope.
In the event you don't want your feline to scuff up furnishings, consider satisfying a compact apply jar with drinking water and spritzing your cat anytime he tries. Kittens and cats normally prevent water totally for motives no one is sure about, so he will never like this. At some point he will quit scratching to avoid receiving sprayed.
In case your pet cat has a tendency to desire to steer clear of his foods pan, consider acquiring a various sort of pan. Plastic can occasionally change a feline away if it isn't cleansed continuously, and will maintain through to a number of smells. Consider cup or possibly a steel container for the best results, so your kitty could keep eating.
Set a towel lower within your cat's consuming area. Specific pet cats choose eliminating their foods from the pan and placing it about the side to eat it. This could truly produce a mess, and you will ought to devote important time washing around your cat's food items dish. You can obtain a family pet mat or use a piece of old textile to put less than it for convenient clean-up.
Kittens and cats are great domestic pets, however litter boxes might be unattractive and get an smell. If you can't stand up the eyesight of your respective litter box, then its a chance to go shopping. There are various varieties of litter cases out there. Some are even disguised as fake potted plants and flowers. Not only does it look greater, it regulates the aroma at the same time.
Mentioned previously just before, cats are extremely lovable. Their lively and helpful methods can have anyone starting to warm up to them quickly. Now you know what you can do reading this short article, you could have a cat of your own. Keep in mind information and facts and also have a entertaining time using the feline. cats love language
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hebrewbyinbal · 14 days
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Victoria downloaded my free guide and learned to introduce her beautiful feline in Hebrew just like that! 🐈🐈‍⬛
My free guide is ready for download and will have you speaking Hebrew in as little as 4hrs! What are you waiting for?
I’ll be waiting for your video submission on what you will introduce us to ❤️🤗
Comment the word “FREEGUIDE” and I’ll send you the link to get started.
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cvntybal · 11 months
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hannibal outside his person-suit is so cute (HEAR ME OUT PLS) chiyoh was right, hes like a cub or a mischievous baby cat, ik they also mentioned that he's no longer a cub now, he's an adult beast. but if u think about it, don't cats (who were orphaned early) still show kitten-like behaviors in their adulthood bc of their fixations that were never met? (like the act of kneading, or developing separation anxiety, or getting excessive zoomies). i just think it's cute to imagine hannibal showing similar behaviors after getting out of his person-suit. like remember when he ate the body part that Jack presented to him as an evidence(?) while he was being incarcerated in the BSHCI ? and him stifling a laugh when Jack asked him about the missing pair of the body part because he ate it. like, idk it's so cute 😭😭😭 (this show is fucking up my moral compass)
i also love imagining post-fall hannibal and will interactions where hannibal is already out of his person suit, so he'd be more unhinged and demanding of physical affection (similar to an act of kneading of cats). he'd also start grinning more than smiling and Will will love it, he would also think hannibal is so cute.
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losttimesnail · 1 month
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edit: ignore my horrid handwriting
in attempt to use vocab day to day while learning mandarin chinese, i have resorted to calling my cat "pumpkin cat" bc of her nickname pumpkin loaf due to her fur colors/pattern. so this drawing Had to be Created.
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bjerrumivey88 · 18 days
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Appear Below For Some sort of Excellent Tips About Cats
Cats are wonderful household pets, but it could be expensive to take care of them. Caring with regard to a cat effectively means providing it with proper healthy eating plan, adequate stimulation, well being care, and many other requirements; this can come to be expensive. These suggestions will help you own a new cat without having to shell out a fortune. Cats can get into even typically the tiniest of areas. If they have a training collar, this is usually a safety issue whenever they get stuck. If your pet will be wearing a breakaway collar, it'll remove if it's pulled too hard. That can keep kitty safe. Choose a high top quality food. The real key to a healthy cat starts with healthy eating plan. Have a look at the elements label. If you look at many "popular" commercial cat foods, you may well be amazed to see the particular top ingredient shown is corn. Felines are carnivores, so look for a food along with a real beef as the top rated ingredient. You may possibly pay much more up top, but these foods are often more nutritional dense, meaning the cat eats much less and the bag lasts longer. To keep your cat content and healthy, it is important to plan regular visits to the vet. Not only are normal checkups good for catching problems early, but regular trips can insure of which your cat maintains up to particular date on its vaccinations. If you don't know if the last period your cat had its shots, schedule an appointment intended for booster shots as quickly as possible. If your cat is picky regarding drinking water, invest in a cat water fountain. These battery run or plug throughout fountains keep normal water circulating and aerated. Many cats like this. A cat fountain will aid keep your cat out of the particular kitchen sink and the toilet. It can also help prevent the cat from pawing water onto the floor in look for of freshwater. Provide your new cat some space. Shifting to a fresh home can end up being stressful over a cat, especially person who is not any longer a pussy-cat. To help them adjust, let them have a quiet place that will they can contact their unique, such because a spare bathroom or laundry space. This gives these people a safe space they will can retreat in order to until they may have become comfortable with exploring the whole house. Relying on the cat, this process may well take a couple of days upwards to a month or even more. Have the cat spayed or perhaps neutered. Pet overpopulation is really a growing issue, with millions of homeless cats plus kittens euthanized each year. Besides typically the problem of as well many kittens in addition to not enough properties, unfixed cats may have a multitude of behaviour problems. Males who are not neutered at a young age often start spraying to mark their territory, and females that are allowed to appear into heat yowl incessantly since they try out to escape to get a mate. Kittens can begin to breed as early as some months of age group, so get your current new kitten spayed or neutered as soon as feasible. Handle your cat often. The more time your cat will be handled as a cat, the more easily they will recognize being handled if they are grown, especially around their very own paws. This will be important as most cats will need to check out the vet from time to time, and this method is significantly easier in addition to less stressful if the cat is accustomed to being handled. It will certainly also make stop your puppy biting and nail trimming much easier. Cats and kittens have got a natural impulse to hunt small prey. This could sometimes be a problem if you have other little animals in your home. Make sure that fowl cages are suspending from the roof. If you have got a gerbil or hamster, make certain their own cages are safe and up higher out of the cats reach. Help to make sure that presently there are enough litter box boxes in your house for all of the particular cats that are keeping there. It really is ideal to have one litter box with regard to each cat. If you live inside a property that provides a lot associated with floors, there need to be one on each of your floor for every single cat. Many people do not recognize that it can be perfectly normal so that you can take pet cats on walks and so they can get exercise and oxygen. There are special harnesses made intended for you to employ together with your cat. In the event that you use the type that were built for dogs, there is a possibility your cat may get away. Guarantee that your new cat is spayed or neutered. This is important whether or not your cat will never be outdoors or close to cats of the opposite gender. Experiments show that spayed cats are significantly less vulnerable to uterine, mammary, and ovarian tumor. Neutering your masculine cat decreases his / her risk of developing prostatic cancer. Another gain of neutering will be that your cat will never feel motivated to mark his territory by bringing out. Should you be considering the long-haired cat breed of dog then you definitely should in addition consider the extra maintenance required. Though that nice coat of beautiful smooth fur looks wonderful, it could leave the mess on your own flooring, furniture and garments. Don't adopt some sort of cat using firm fur unless you're certain you can take care of the additional cleaning. Not really to mention cats that have extended hair are extra prone to receiving issues with hairballs. Despite their self-employed nature, cats will be no less expensive as compared to any other animal. Being a cat parent can be labor and moment intensive. As a person now know, an individual can curtail the expenses of having felines while you even now get to appreciate giving them good care. cats lover language
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today i spend lying in bed with my cat and a copy of the picture of dorian gray, listening to the queen is dead and wearing the clothes of a long lost lover.
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budgetpetcare · 11 months
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Cat Body Language and Vocalizations: What They Mean and How to Respond
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Do you want to understand what your cat is trying to tell you with their body language and vocalizations? In this article, you will discover how to decode your cat's signals and what they mean. You will also learn how to communicate better with your cat and avoid misunderstandings. Whether you are a new cat owner or a seasoned cat lover, this article will help you speak cat like a pro and bond with your feline friend.
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Whenever I want to practice my French I put compilations of marinette screaming to see if I can focus on my pronunciation and conversation even with random French girl noises in the background
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hsmagazine254 · 2 months
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Nurturing Love: Finding Companionate Blessings Through Pet Adoption In Ramadan - H&S Pets Galore
Discover The Spirit Of Compassion & Connection In The Heart Of Ramadan As Ramadan gracefully unfolds, and we find ourselves immersed in its spiritual ambiance, it’s a time not just for personal reflection and devotion but also for acts of kindness and compassion. Amidst the fasting and prayers, one beautiful way to enhance the spirit of giving during this blessed month is by considering the…
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allperfectpets · 1 year
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Cats Headbutting: An Endearing Cat Behavior
Cats are known for their novel and here and there confounding ways of behaving. One such way of behaving that frequently catches the hearts of cat proprietors and fans are headbutting. Cats Headbutting their human buddies or even items around them can appear to be both charming and inquisitive. In this article, we will investigate the captivating universe of Cats Headbutting, uncover the explanations for this way of behaving, and dig into the possible implications and advantages it holds for our catlike companions.
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lunathewafflelord · 1 year
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do you ever just not know what to say and you try to talk but instead of talking you just make cat sounds?
me sometimes
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hwaslayer · 5 months
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crimson (cs) | one shot.
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—summary: life has always revolved around the club, the money, the clients— that is, until a first-time experience changes everything for san, for you; causing lines to be blurred, boundaries that are crossed. he didn’t think he’d get wrapped around your finger, falling deep into your spell. after all, he did become your number one client.
—pairing: choi san x stripper!reader
—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, nightclub au | smut, angst
—word count: 21.8k
—content/warnings: cussing/mature language, heavy on the night club/strip club setting, lap dances, oc doesn’t remove her clothing by choice but is a little more hands on with her clients at the club, alcohol consumption/intoxication, san’s got some baggage with his ex, mentions of a toxic past relationship, mentions of severed relationships with loved ones, protected/unprotected sex, praising, making out, one shower together hehe, missionary, doggy style wooof, cowgirl, sprinkle of spit play, clit play, breast play, mentions of marking, ass slapping, mentions of men getting touchy at the club, fighting (some pushing and a few punches), arguments, flashback scenes, not all ateez members are present - only mingi, san, wooyoung, hongjoong and jongho
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—on rotation: agora hills - doja cat | anywhere - 112 | all night long - thuy & lil kev | IT’s you - wooyoung, san & yeosang
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He became your number one client. 
Quick.
You remember the first time he stepped into the club with his friends, eyes roaming the floor until they landed on yours. You hadn’t expected the group to walk in when they did— the club being pretty dead lately, with the usual, familiar men walking in to let off some steam, to get their fix. You could tell it was the first time they’d ever walked into a strip club with the way they paused near the entrance, not really knowing where to go or how to get settled from there. One of his friends took the lead and walked towards the main stage, his hesitancy obvious with how stiff and awkward he was as he sat on one of the velvet chairs closest to the stage. You hadn’t really paid much mind to them at first, especially him. You had been busy on the other end of the stage, but his eyes had been glued on you the entire time.
That solely piqued your interest. 
He sunk into the chair comfortably, manspreading as his hands rested on his legs. He stared at you with his cat-like eyes, almost pleading for you to come closer and entertain him while his friends were busy tossing bills at your coworker on the right side of the stage. 
He didn’t budge.
You strutted over, initially planning to tease him a bit; play around, work with his ways to give him something to remember. Little did you know that taking the first leap, giving him that attention, was going to change everything between you and this stranger.
Everything.
▹ FLASHBACK
You step in front of the pole, sliding down until you get to a crouch– making sure your legs are spread enough for him to see the itty bitty fabric from your bodysuit barely covering your parts. You can see him subtly bite onto his bottom lip as he leans forward, elbows resting on his knees. You get a little closer, getting onto your knees to crawl towards him; ass posted up in the air while you keep your eyes glued onto him. You’re close enough to the point where he can slip a few dollars into the v-neck of your bodysuit.
And he does, adorning that pretty smirk of his; pearly whites peeking through those pink, plump lips.
“Atta boy!” You hear one of his friends yell. “San’s finally enjoying himself!”
“Dude’s got heart eyes. Look at him. Mesmerized as shit.” Another of his friends laughs before continuing to shower the right side of the stage with bills.
San was his name.
San.
“Gorgeous.” You hear him mutter as you continue to work the stage, eyes glued onto him with every move— every twirl, every dip, every roll, you make. His eyes are taking note of every detail, every tattoo that lines your arm, down to your hip and thigh. Because he wants to study you, all of you.
“It’s his birthday, give him something special!” You glide down the pole before stepping off the stage to greet the men sitting around. It was a normal routine for you, a way to initiate flirty conversations and take men back to a VIP booth for lap dances— lap dances that could easily earn you rent in one night. 
A few of your regulars are sitting around, waiting for some kind of touch, attention. Which, you easily give through running your hand down their chests, whispering sweet nothings as they tuck a few more dollars under your bodysuit. 
Throughout all of this, San is still focused on you.
So, you make your way back to him; his friends are still loudly proclaiming he’s the birthday boy that needs a little gift tonight. And lucky for him, you’re feeling rather generous— especially with the way San buckles around you, pleading, begging, for more of your attention since he walked through the door.
“Is it really your birthday?” You crouch in front of him, hands traveling up his thighs while you lick your lips and bite onto your bottom lip.
“Yeah, it is.” He swallows the lump in his throat when your hands brush against his belt.
“Please give him a private dance.” The same friend from earlier says. He has short black hair with a mole underneath his eye, black button-up exposing his honey skin underneath. He slips you a few hundred bills, a smirk plastered on his face when you meet his gaze. You gladly take the money and stuff it into your bodysuit, grabbing San’s hand as you lead him to the VIP area.
“You didn’t have to.”
“You come to a strip club on your birthday and try to deny a lap dance? That your friend paid for? Odd.” You tease as you push him against another velvet couch. The VIP booths are off to the side of the club, with red mood lights and cringy, dark red velvet curtains draping the front to provide privacy. The booths are small, intimate; just enough space for you to work the pole and be all up on San.
“I mean, I just—” He chokes on his words as he plops onto the couch. “You’re a busy woman, it seems.”
“I am.” You straddle his lap. “But, I can make time for birthday boys, too.”
“That’s nice to know.” His eyes carefully watch your every move. Your hands travel down his neck, down to his tie— tugging on it as you start to bodyroll against the music, against him, making sure San feels you. “Fuck.” He mutters under his breath. You watch as he reaches, but prevents himself from touching your thighs; afraid he’d be crossing a line even though, technically speaking, those lines have been blurred since he walked into the club.
“It’s okay, San.” You reassure him with a whisper, lips almost grazing his ear. His eyes meet yours just as you pull back and bounce on him a bit, hands caressing up and down his chest. You continue to work him slowly, taking your sweet time to make San feel appreciated, to make San feel like he’s had the best birthday in years.
“You know my name?” He says, hands comfortably coming up your body, giving your breasts a squeeze. His hand runs up your neck, to your jaw— gently forcing you to keep eye contact with him as you continue to dance on him. He’s entranced by you that he doesn’t really know what else to say, or how to react. But god, do you feel amazing on him. That body, too?
Heavenly.
“Your friends have been yelling it all night.” You stand and straddle him in the opposite direction, legs wrapped around his torso as you lean forward and bounce on his dick a little more. San can’t help but run his hands down your ass, giving it a good squeeze before you come back up and pry yourself off of him to head to the pole in front of him.
“Fair enough. What’s your name then, beautiful?” You look at him, ignoring the question at first. But, San feels a little different than your usual customers, feels a bit more personal even though you don’t know anything about him nor does he know anything about you. It’s the way that he looks at you, focused on your face, your every move. It’s the way that it’s a room full of dancers and he’s stuck on you. Most men are in the club to fill a void; seeking for quick satisfaction, something that’ll eventually blow over until the next visit. But, it’s nothing more than that. You are nothing more than a dancer, nothing more than a face on stage— someone who collects their bills and runs.
But to San, you feel different.
Before you look into him too deeply, you quickly snap out of it and begin to twirl around the pole, doing your usual pole routine when you’re in the VIP booth. You fall into a split, hand coming down from the pole, down to your body.
San follows.
“My name?” You repeat, and San nods.
“Is that not a normal question here?”
“No one ever gives out their real names here.” You chuckle.
“Then, what’s your stage name?” Time passes when you’re dancing. Usually, you give them 30 mins tops, 45 mins if they keep sending big bills your way. But, you never try to spend more than that with the same person. Not in this community. With the hundreds San’s friend handed you, you would’ve stopped at 15 minutes if this were anyone else.
You’re closing in 20– probably will be 30 when you blink— but you don’t really wanna stop giving San this attention. He’s attractive, fitting his button-up and slacks in all the right places. He has black short hair, a few strands draping over his forehead, a pretty Rolex sitting on his wrist. You think he could handle you if you gave him the chance, and the thought is enough to make your brain short-circuit.
“Crimson.” He smirks, running his finger across his bottom lip while he continues to watch you bounce your ass on the stage. He thinks you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever laid eyes on— the bodysuit doing your body wonders as it makes his mind wander to the unknown.
To what you would look like naked, to have you underneath him, to have you calling his name.
He’s been glued to you from the start and he’s not sure what kind of spell you have him under, but he wants more.
“Crimson.” He repeats, the stage name dripping off his tongue like water. “Are you here every night?”
“Maybe, maybe not.” You twirl with a smirk on your face.
“Come on, don’t do that.” He leans back, head resting against the couch as his hands rest on his thighs.
“Why would it matter?”
“I wouldn’t wanna come back if you weren’t here.” You giggle, stepping away from the pole and slotting yourself back in between his legs at a crouch.
“There’s plenty of other amazing dancers, you know? I don’t make the club.”
“You’re right, you don’t. But, it’s not them I’m asking about.” Your hands travel back up his legs, your face inches away from his dick. You swear you hear him hiss a bit the minute your face glides over, planting small, chaste kisses against his clothed stomach right above the belt. 
“I’m here 4 days a week.”
“What days?” You stand, bending to whisper in his ear. His hand comes up to graze your thigh and hip, shivers shooting down his spine when you respond with:
“I guess you’ll have to find out.” Because now, San takes it as a challenge and he’s determined to figure out which nights you’re here. Initially, he agreed to this whole thing thinking it’d be a one-and-done— a birthday done differently after all these past years only to become an after-thought as time goes on. But now, he wants more of you, all of you; wants to keep seeing you, feeling you, touching you, seeing you dance for him and him only.
He’s not sure what kind of spell you have him under, but he wants more.
You look at him once more, tipping his chin with your finger before dipping forward. You only give him enough so that the tips of your noses brush against each other, enough to tease but not please the birthday boy on his special night. 
“See you soon, Sannie. Happy birthday.” You whisper before turning on your heels and leaving him in the VIP booth to return to the stage. San has to gather himself for a minute, loosening the buttons on his shirt and his tie and adjusting his pants before heading back out to his friends.
“So?! How was it?” Wooyoung leans over on the chair right after he greets another dancer making her rounds across the floor.
“Good.” 
“He’s red in the face.” Mingi laughs. “It was more than good.”
“Say thank you for the best birthday ever, Wooyoung.” Wooyoung teases and San can’t help but shake his head. He’s still lost in thought, eyes subtly scanning the room to find you but you are busy taking new customers into the VIP booth. The room feels hot, and he wishes he could be in the VIP booth with you, alone. He truly wished it never ended. “Let’s head to the bar and get more drinks.” San shrugs and follows along, the 4 of them heading into the bar where the music is louder, and other dancers are flooding the area.
As the night goes on, you’ve finished tending to your regulars— already knowing what they want, what they need, but making your boundaries clear every time they try to step over the line and take advantage of your generosity tonight. By the end of your shift, it’s 3am and you’re exhausted. Your feet are hurting from the platform heels you’re sporting. It’s crazy how after all this time as a dancer, you still aren’t used to the heels you have to throw on, excited to dip your feet in a hot, lavender foot bath when you get home. You change back into your casual sweats and matching hoodie, throwing the hood over your head as you bid farewell to your coworkers and step out the back door into the cold, crisp night. When you cross the alley to get onto the main road, there are a few gentlemen standing around, some smoking their cigarettes while chatting with their friends.
Usually, no one causes you trouble. From time to time, your usuals are drunk and babbling nonsense about how they wish they could take you home, show you ‘a new world.’ But, no one ever gets handsy, no one ever forces themselves on you. For the most part, they know what this is, they know at the end of the night this is nothing but a temporary fantasy— one you fulfill for a specific time frame before the new day dawns and things go back to normal, to routine.
Tonight, it’s a bit different.
“Yo, isn’t that the dancer?” You hear a familiar voice as you cross through the alley, passing by a big group on your way. They seem to be tending to a friend who has gotten sloppily drunk, yacking their brains out off to the side of the club. 
“Aye cutie, going home already? Wanna give the birthday boy more love?” Another friend questions after he pulls the cigarette from in between his lips and exhales. “Bro, Mingi. Hurry up and get your sloppy ass together. It’s fucking cold.” He scolds their incredibly drunk friend afterwards.
“Hongjoong.” You hear San call for his friend. You do nothing but give them a simple look as you continue to walk on, trying not to feed them any attention. As attractive as San is, you are too tired to deal with this right now. After all, you are just a dancer. What more could you be to him? You temporarily feed into their fantasies, nothing more, nothing less.
“What, it’s a simple question. You never know, she might be down.” 
“Sorry.” San apologizes on his behalf, his eyes red and glazed from the alcohol.
���Not down?” Hongjoong asks again, his eyes now glued onto you.
“No, I’m not.” You respond, walking backwards to maintain eye contact. 
“Aw, why not?” Honey-skin with the black-button up chimes in. “He’s single. He could use it.”
“The fuck? Not helping.” San looks at his friend and taps him on the chest, making him bust out into a loud laugh.
“I don’t do that. Nothing beyond the club. Sorry to disappoint.” You smile at them before walking off onto the main street.
“Can he at least escort you home?!” They call out as you cross the street, making you roll your eyes as you continue the journey home all by yourself.
▹ END
Since then, there’s been a new addition to your regulars. One particularly more intriguing than the rest. You didn’t really believe Mia when she told you the familiar face came on your days off, asking the bartender if you were dancing tonight. He came, and he came, until he figured out the exact 4 days you worked. To say you were surprised would be an understatement because why on earth was San actually looking for you?
Why was he actually trying to figure out your schedule?
Did he really want to see you, or were you just his favorite dancer? Was he too shy to get close to the other dancers [at a strip club]?
It’s been a couple of weeks and San still comes. But, you’ve pushed the questions to the back of your mind; taking his visits with a grain of salt. You weren’t sure you’d pry anyway, afraid you’d be reading into this too much. After all, you are just a dancer.
What more could you be to him? You temporarily feed into their fantasies, nothing more, nothing less.
“Babe, your man is here.” Mia peeks into the dressing room, her head popping in from the doorway.
“He is not my man.” You give her a look, but she giggles and smirks before turning.
“Hurry that ass up, he seems anxious.” She calls out just before she heads back out to the main floor. You roll your eyes, dabbing more lip gloss on your lips before heading back out onto the floor. As promised, San sits in that same chair you met him during his first night at the club while Wooyoung [you’ve come to learn] lingers near the stage. Wooyoung is already entertaining another dancer, taking every opportunity to slip a few bills underneath her bikini top. 
To tease San a bit, you come up from behind up, trailing your hands down his chest while your lips ghost his ear. He turns slightly just for some sort of confirmation, though he’s already studied your body— down to the way you move, the way you tease.
“San.” You call his name. “Should I still be surprised that you’re here again?”
“You tell me.” He smirks, that pretty smile of his slowly becoming a weakness for you. “I’m just here to get my fix.” He winks, even though he really just wants to see you and be alone with you again.
“Get in line.” You tease. San immediately holds up a few bills, eyes darting from yours to your cleavage in that incredibly tiny silver bikini top you have on.
“Should I?” He subtly bites onto his bottom lip as he slips the money right into your top. You playfully roll your eyes and lead the way to a VIP booth, San undoing his cuffs and rolling up his sleeves just about halfway up his forearm. Truthfully, yes, it’s been a long day [week, even] and he’s needing a release; wanting to let out some steam. But, he’s also excited he could do that with you and only you. He watches your hips sway as you walk and wait for him to enter the booth, shutting the curtain close so that it’s just you and him underneath the red mood lighting. 
You step onto the stage; twirling around the pole before you bounce your ass on the stage. San watches intently, eyes glued to your bottom half when you spread your legs and show him how much those bottoms aren’t doing shit for you.
He is so, so curious. 
He takes note of every detail of your body, studying it over and over again like a book. And god, he wants to do everything and nothing all at once— stuck between wanting to get his hands all over you and doing nothing just to admire your pretty face, your figure. San felt like maybe this was just a phase, a new, exciting experience in his life that’ll soon fizzle out.
But when San looks at you, he can’t agree. He’s not sure what kind of spell you have him under, but he wants more.
He leans back onto the couch, his head resting against the edge as he manspreads. He licks his lips while watching your hands travel down your chest, your stomach. 
“Why are you so far?” He questions, motioning for you to come closer. Your bikini top and bottom are still driving him crazy, and he’s certain he’ll lose his shit once you sit on his lap.
“So eager tonight?”
“Just been a rough week.”
“I’m sure, as with everyone else here.”
“Am I just everyone else?” You let out a small chuckle, straddling his lap. His hands immediately come up to cup your ass, giving it a good squeeze before you start to work your hips on him. He’s gotten pretty comfortable by now, though San still shoots you a look as if it’s his way of asking for permission first. You appreciate the little things, and San most definitely isn’t just like everyone else. But, as with any defense mechanism, you resort to a guarded response:
“I mean, you’re here at ungodly hours tipping girls for a dance.” He lets out a small laugh, strong hands now at your hips. 
“Mm, I really only come for my favorite though. You might know her?” He jokes, his face only inches away from yours. 
“Do I?” You follow along with his teasing. The strap to your bikini top falls off your shoulder and San’s eyes follow; the small room feeling 10 degrees hotter, pants a little tighter. 
“Mhm.” He hums, his finger tracing a line up your leg. “She has tattoos just like this lining her thigh—“ He moves it up to your hip. “Up her hip.” His thumb comes up to your lip. “Pretty lips just like that. Long lashes. Prettiest smile I’ve seen.” His face moves towards your neck, lips grazing the surface below your ear. “Mole on the neck.” You subtly bite onto your bottom lip. San’s hand brushes up against your breast before he touches the small mole on your neck.
“Sounds like a lot of the girls around here.”
“Mm, but the one I’m thinking of goes by the stage name Crimson.” You continue to tease, bounce on him a little more, shake ass a little more. Your eyes linger on him a bit longer than you’d like, and you find yourself retracting. To him, the room is probably degrees hotter— for you, it’s starting to feel suffocating.
“She’s nothing but a ‘lil dancer, San.” You whisper in his ear, lips brushing against the surface before you hop off his lap. San is a little confused at the sudden change, but you feel like you’re reading too much into this, too much into San.
This isn’t supposed to be anything but business.
Why would San ever want you in that way? Most of this is to fulfill a want, a need, a fantasy. San is most likely saying this to get what he wants, to take charge and lead you on.
Though, at the end of the night, you are nothing but a face, a dancer. He wouldn’t think about you past the club. That is where this ends, regardless. 
You give San one last look before you brush past the curtain, returning to the stage closest to the bar. Wooyoung is getting dragged to a VIP booth, his other friends now standing and gathering around the stage to get up close and personal to the girls currently on there. You make a beeline to the stage near the bar, the area being a little more dead than the main stage room.
Right before you hop on stage, Mia is delivering drinks to a few men off to the side of the room. She shoots you a look, following after handing over the drinks.
“Why are you rushing? Did something happen?” You wait for the bartender to hand you some water.
“Nothing happened.” You sip a bit to shake off your thoughts, your feelings.
“You sure? I’ll beat someone’s ass if you need me to and call security to toss them out.”
“I promise.” You look at her and squeeze her arm. “I’m just gonna stick here for the rest of the night, though. Need a change of pace.” She nods.
“Alright, if you say so. I’m still onto you.” She says, leaving you to help the bartender with delivering the drinks.
For the rest of the night, you continue to dodge San and his friends until the end of your shift. You don’t usually leave through the front doors of the club, but tonight, you sneak out and rush across the street with your hood up. You can hear San and his friends as they leave, causing you to pick up the pace of your steps— hoping you’ll avoid being caught.
But, San sees you, anyway. His eyes can’t help but watch for a few seconds more before he’s returning his attention back to the boys. He felt the shift earlier, and he picked up on the way you continued to hop from stage to stage— seemingly avoiding their group. He’s not sure what happened, or why he feels like you’ve suddenly got your guard back up around him. It’s something about you, and San knows it shouldn’t be that serious. This became a fun little past-time for him and his boys. But every time he’s left the club recently, he leaves a little bit more attached to you.
Because yes, you know how to work your magic in there. It’s no fucking joke. He gets a taste of you on stage, in the booth, and it blows his mind. But other than that, it’s the way you return the same look, the same touch. There’s something else, more to you than the surface, and he’s curious to find out.
It shouldn’t be that serious, but for San, it is.
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“What’s wrong?” Jongho pushes a small coffee your way, cocking a brow when he sees how checked out you seem today.
“W-what?” You look at him, finally pulled out of your daze. “Oh, nothing.” You grab the cup and take a sip, giving him a tiny toothless smile of appreciation. “Thank you.”
“Sure.” He sets his coffee onto the side of the cart, helping you unbox a few albums that arrived today and needed to be restocked on the shelves. “So, really. What is it?” He asks, eyes still focused on restocking. Jongho has been one of your closest friends— probably the only closest, genuine friend that stuck by your side since you were younger. He still keeps in touch with the group you grew up with since middle school, but lots of those relationships have been severed after you started dancing at the club. Jongho was the only one who didn’t see you any differently, nor did he take the job as anything bad. He always knew you were passionate about dance and he understood you when times got tough; strapped on cash and needing a quick fix that would help you get by. It was a bit of a risky, somewhat dangerous step, but who was Jongho to control your life? You already didn’t have a great relationship with your parents, so the least Jongho can do is support you and be your pillar if no one else would be. He knew you could make your own decisions, and only you knew yourself best. He knew you’d take care of yourself, whatever that looked like.
Jongho was the manager at this small, quaint music shop in the city. Though, the city you lived in wasn’t entirely huge compared to others. It still had its old-school touch of wooden, soft decor with a rage of vintage to mainstream albums and art throughout the shop. The owner was a middle-aged man who used to play in a band back in the days, now retired and trying to stay in touch with his roots through the shop. Jongho had worked here for years before stepping into the full-time manager position and helped bring you on, especially during the time you needed it the most.
You really appreciate Jongho, and you’re glad you at least have him.
“Sometimes, I feel like I should’ve just finished school.”
“You did. High school?”
“College.” Jongho shrugs when you respond and give him a look.
“If it wasn’t what you wanted to do at the time, then why force yourself? Besides, it’s never too late. You can always go back to school.�� He turns to you and places a hand on his hip. “Why are you thinking about this all of a sudden?”
“I don’t really know. What if they were right? What if I’m not good for anything besides being a stripper? What if I’m just that?”
“You and I both know that’s not true.” Jongho tosses the empty box aside, triggering you to get it together and start doing your job. “You’re smart, talented, and passionate about a lot of things. Especially dance. Just because you work at a club doesn’t make you less of a person, Y/N.” He says in that usual serious tone of his.
“Thanks.” You poke your bottom lip out as you arrange the albums and start tagging the price stickers onto them.
“Who is it?” You sigh, already knowing Jongho won’t leave it alone until you finally tell him the truth about why you’re suddenly questioning your life.
“It’s the same guy I told you about. The birthday boy.” Jongho does a tiny nod of acknowledgement.
“He’s still showing up with his friends?”
“Yeah, surprisingly. And he always looks for me. Asks for me. Doesn’t pay attention to any other dancer there.”
“Maybe he has a crush on you.”
“We know nothing about each other. He knows my stage name, he knows my club persona.” You sigh. “That’s why it made me question life. It’s dumb, I know.” You purse your lips together as you shove the albums into the shelf and move onto the next task.
“Well, there has to be a reason why he keeps coming back for you and only you. Maybe he wants to know you, outside of the club and that whole persona thing.” Jongho shrugs. “Never say never.”
“He’s a businessman of some sort. Suited up all the time. He must work for a really good company. Probably has a family that is well off.” You shake your head and make your way back to the front. “It doesn’t make sense.”
“I wouldn’t say that. Why don’t you ask—“ At this point, just as you settle at the register with Jongho, a few people enter the shop. You whip your head towards the entrance when you hear some laughter, only for your eyes to widen.
“Oh, shit. Jongho!” You whisper harshly. “What the hell is he doing here?!” He looks over your shoulder as San and Wooyoung walk in, Wooyoung instantly making a turn to head to the vinyl collection.
“Is that birthday boy?” You nod with a worried expression on your face. San is about to walk past the register when he furrows his brows at the small commotion happening behind the counter, turning his attention towards you and Jongho.
“Too late dude, he’s right there.” Jongho blocks you from leaving. “It’d be too obvious now, just take it like a fucking champ and say hi.” He says through gritted teeth. “I gotta walk around anyways.” He turns to San enthusiastically. “Hey, welcome in.”
“Hey.” San looks at the both of you, his brows still furrowed when his eyes land on your face.
“Hi. Let me know if you need help.” You try to scurry off, but San stops you.
“Woah, wait. You’re—“
“Don’t say it outloud here.” San’s lips form into the shape of an ‘o’ before nodding. He can’t help but glaze over your features and how naturally beautiful you are– the sun hitting your skin perfectly. You never packed on the makeup heavily on stage, but you did still have a face on every time you worked at the club. He subtly nibbles onto his bottom lip, hands dug deep into his jacket pockets.
“You work here, too?”
“Makes up for the days I’m not there.” He nods.
“Well, hi.” He gives you a small smile.
“Hi.” You tilt your head. “I’ve never seen you around this part of the city. Ever.” He snorts a bit.
“We’re never usually on the outskirts, but Wooyoung was adamant about getting vinyls for his new record player. You guys are the only shop that has a good collection.” You nod, San stepping aside when a customer unloads their basket onto the counter. He lingers around, watching how delicate you are handling the merchandise and how big your smile is when helping the customer. As expected, you’re very different from the club— you seem more relaxed, laid back. Sweet. Happy.
“So, are you just gonna stand there and wait for Wooyoung?” You chuckle after wrapping up the transaction and handing the customer their bag, bidding farewell as they head out of the store.
“I don’t really need anything so, yeah. I guess so. I’d rather talk to you, anyway.” You give him a look and take the sticker gun in your hand, walking away from the counter when a coworker comes back from break to relieve you.
“I’m working.” You head back to the floor, San following behind.
“I know.” He watches as you begin to sort through another shipment. “Are you gonna tell me your name now that we’re outside of the club?”
“Why do you wanna learn my name so badly? And why are you always at the club? Don’t you have like.. other things to do? A girlfriend or someone to entertain?” You shiver at the thought. God, you hope not. Especially with how he’s been lately. But, men are trash and you wouldn’t expect any less.
“Because I do? You’re not just someone from the club.” You look at him briefly before looking back down at the stack of albums. “And no, I don’t have someone to entertain. I wouldn’t be there often if I did.” Touché. “We just had fun on my birthday. It’s a good way to let out some steam after busy days.”
“Hm.” You hum.
“I like seeing you there.” He casually says, making you pause in your actions before continuing. 
“I don’t make the club, San.”
“You make it for me. Or else I wouldn’t be going.” You look at him again with a hand on your hip. He has a small smirk plastered on his face and you can’t help but notice how attractive he looks under the daylight— smooth honey skin, hoodie over his head, soft black hair teasing his forehead. Your eyes linger on him for a lot longer than you’d like, having to force yourself to snap out of it when you realize [again] that San wouldn’t want you in that way.
“What are you trying to do here?” You cock a brow up just before you start working on the CDs in front of you, marking them down and adding new price tags to the back.
“Get to know you.”
“Why me?”
“Why not you?” San continues to smirk, leaning against the shelves. 
“Y/N, take your break in a few minutes.” Jongho says coming down the aisle before giving San a small, pursed smile.
“Yeah, Y/N.” San chimes in and teases. “Pretty name for a pretty girl.”
“You ready? I found what I needed—“ Wooyoung comes from around the corner, pausing mid-sentence when he realizes San isn’t alone. “Oh, hey! I wasn’t expecting to see you here.” Your eyes dart to Wooyoung and he smiles. “Wow, you’re really pretty in the daylight—“ San taps him on the chest. “What, I’m just saying! It’s hard to really see faces in the club lighting. Besides, I don’t get the privilege of having private—“
“Okay, that’s—yeah.” San cuts him off and scratches at his head. “Really sorry.”
“You ready?” You let out a sigh before asking Wooyoung. “I can ring you up at the other register before I head to break.”
“Yeah.” You lead them to the smaller checkout stand at the end of the aisle, scanning Wooyoung’s items and bagging up his things as he pays. Throughout the entire time, San is still watching you; subtly biting onto his bottom lip when he can’t help but think of the nights at the club, being intimately close with you— seeing you in a different light than this.
Which, he’s trying not to. He just can’t help it. You are beauty in its purest form, and he wishes he could know more about you.
And you don’t fail to notice. 
The look San has in his eyes is different from what you’re used to seeing at nighttime. It makes you nervous from the butterflies you feel, the curiosity running through your veins— even if the other thoughts in your mind say otherwise.
“Guess we’ll see you around?” Wooyoung smirks before walking out of the shop first.
“See you soon, Y/N.” Just before San walks out, you shut off the part of your brain that keeps spewing negativity and all these other ‘what if’s.’
“W-wait.” 
“Hm?” He hums, his hands in his pocket as he cocks a brow up. You begin to scribble your number down on a random receipt that was left behind, pushing it over to San shortly afterwards.
“Don’t ask for free dances or anything though, I’ll block you.” San chuckles before grabbing the receipt and tucking it into his pocket.
“Don’t want that, now do we?” He winks before stepping out of the shop.
“Cute.” You glare at Jongho and hit him on the arm. “Ouch, what!”
“Why would you say my name around him!”
“You act like he wasn’t gonna find out one way or another, the dude definitely has googly eyes over you.” He crosses his arms and smirks. “Besides, you slipped him your number.”
“Ugh.” You continue to glare at him. “I’m going on my break.”
“So you can text San, hm?” You mouth out a quick ‘fuck off’ before turning on your heel and heading to the break room. The entire scenario hadn't been processed in your mind until now, unsure if giving your number to San was a good idea or not.
You didn’t wanna get attached to him. Not him, of all people. Though, you know you will, and that’s why it feels like a bad decision.
A decision you think you might regret.
The thought blows over when you get home that night, exhausted from your work day and the commute. You hop in the shower and whip up a teriyaki chicken rice bowl with some veggies. You plop onto your couch and turn on the TV, picking up on where you left off on the last episode of the series you were watching. Barely 7 minutes in, a call comes through on your phone, your eyes widening at the name flashing across the screen. Just as you briefly debate on answering the call, your hands are already moving towards the phone; swiping right to pick it up.
“Hello?”
“Hey.” San says on the other line so nonchalantly, as if you two had been talking for years.
“Hi?” You let out a small, nervous chuckle. “What made you call?”
“I just wanted to talk to you and ask how the rest of your day at work went.”
“Oh.” You shrug as if he can see you. “It was alright. Nothing too bad.”
“Yeah? Nobody get on your nerve throughout the day?”
“I also work at a strip club. I think the music shop is very mild when it comes to that.” You joke, making San laugh a bit on the other line. “How was the rest of yours?”
“Good. Wooyoung and I just grabbed something to eat before he brought me home.”
“Where’s home for you?”
“Probably 20 minutes away from the city.” He responds just as you hear dishes clinking in the background. “Did you eat already?”
“I am right now.”
“Oh shit, sorry. Do you want me to call you later? Or, I guess, I can just text you?”
“It’s okay, San. I don’t mind.”
“Mmkay. Just checking.”
“I know you just saw Wooyoung, but you guys aren’t hanging out with the rest of your friends tonight?”
“Believe it or not, we like taking breaks from each other.” He laughs a bit. “No but, Mingi, the really tall one, has a date or whatever tonight.”
“Or whatever?” You laugh.
“He’s weird about these things. Says it’s a date when we all know he’s not really ready to date seriously.”
“Mm, one of those guys. You like that, too?”
“Definitely not. If I really like someone and we hit it off, I’ll pursue them to no end.”
“Mhm.” You find yourself teasing him more. “Cute. Have you guys known each other for long?”
“Me and Wooyoung grew up together. Our parents are close, too. We met Hongjoong and Mingi in college.”
“That’s sweet.”
“What about you, Y/N? What about your friends? Tell me more about yourself. I meant it when I said I wanna get to know you.” You feel the heat rise to your cheeks, even though every bone in your body is telling you to continue keeping your guard up.
“Ah, did you? Cause it definitely sounded like a line.” You snort.
“It’s not just a line. Seriously.”
“I honestly don’t know what to tell you. I don’t have an interesting story.” You poke at your food before taking a small bite.
“Don’t say that. I find you interesting no matter what.”
“You say that now.”
“I’ll say it later, too.” He reassures you.
“I– I don’t know. I’m not close to my family after the decisions I’ve made, and friends left my side especially after I started working at the club more. Jongho is really the only person who has stayed by my side since we were younger.”
“I’m sorry. Why aren’t they your friends anymore?”
“I guess they just think I’m dumb for not going to school and for settling at the club.”
“I mean, that’s not really fair? It’s not dumb if it wasn’t what you wanted.”
“Yeah, well. They didn’t think I’d take dance that seriously.”
“You’re really good at it.” You chuckle hearing his response. “Why wouldn’t you?”
“Wish I could tell you. My family is in the same boat. My older sister graduated from college and started her own lab after finishing her postdoctoral appointment. Imagine how much my family looks down on me. I struggled for awhile and Jongho helped me out a lot.”
“I’m glad you at least have him.”
“I am too.”
“What else do you like to do?”
“San, are you sure you don’t have anything else to do tonight?” He laughs. “What about your family?”
“Swear. My family is fine, they’re doing their own thing.”
“Do they live around here too?”
“Nope, maybe an hour or so away? I have an older sister too, but she’s overseas right now. She’s in the fashion industry.” He lets out a small sigh. “I genuinely wanted to call you and talk to you after seeing you today.”
“You’re such a mystery.”
“Why’s that?”
“I don’t know. You just are. I see you at the club a couple of times, then I see you at the shop. Now we’re on the phone. It’s just funny how things play out.”
“Nothing mysterious about it. Maybe it’s just meant to play out that way.”
“What’s meant to play out that way?”
“Us.” You pause. Mainly because you couldn’t believe this is how things were meant to play out with San. Why was he everywhere and nowhere at the same time? Why was he calling you and trying to get to know you? And what if it was meant to play out this way? It could either mean two things— one, San was meant to play some sort of good in your life.
Or two, San was meant to break your heart and teach you yet another lesson in this crazy universe.
You weren’t sure what to think of it all, if you were even ready to figure out what all of this meant.
But, at this moment in time, all the regrets and thoughts continue to brush over your head because you like hearing San’s voice and you like talking to him outside of the club. You are intrigued, and you can’t say you aren’t keen on finding out what this is.
So, you continue to talk to San. 30 minutes turns into an hour; slipping into bed with San still on the other line. It’s easy to talk to him and you like that he initiates most of the conversation. He doesn’t judge you and he doesn’t pressure you into talking about things you don’t feel comfortable diving into right now. He doesn’t put the focus on himself much and he listens. You find yourself giggling, tossing and turning under the sheets— thoughts exploring uncharted territories.
San almost feels like a bad decision; a decision you think you might regret.
For tonight, you’ll take it. You’ll take this for what it is, and you’ll take San for who he is. You’ll find out what his role is in your life and why this is playing out the way it is for the both of you.
Maybe he is good.
Maybe he is a heartbreaker.
Or maybe San is meant to be San, a passing moment in your life that eventually just ends.
Whatever it is, you’ll figure it out. Even if it's something you might regret later on.
“Can I tell you something Y/N?” He asks just as you feel the exhaustion hitting your body.
“Mhm?”
“You’re really beautiful. I like seeing you, especially on stage. You know how to drive people crazy.”
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San continues to text and call you, just to ask if you’re doing okay— to let you know he always looks forward to seeing you. Small smiley faces, goodmorning’s and goodnight’s, dropping by with food or just to say hi at the music shop; you can’t help but feel the butterflies in your tummy grow when it comes to San. 
You’re not sure if you despise it or not.
Jongho says you should just see where it goes and tries to reassure you by telling you what’s meant to be, will be, and that you shouldn’t read too much into things right now. 
Keep doing you as you have, and continue to move forward.
But, it’s a lot easier said than done. Especially when you don’t understand what San wants out of you. He’s respected your boundaries through text, not asking for free dances or nudes, only keeping it brief to check in on you sometimes. Yet, at the club, he’s handsy. He’s vocalized how much he wants you and how much he wishes he could know more about you outside of the club.
San is an enigma.
You count in your head as you slowly take steps forward on stage, trying your hardest not to get distracted.
One, two.
Twirl around the pole.
Three, four.
Fall into the splits.
Five, six.
Bounce.
You get back onto your fours, shaking ass for the men lined up near the stage constantly tossing bills your way and shoving it under the ties of your bikini bottoms. It isn’t long before the main stage is where the most activity is happening— the club incredibly busy tonight with tons of celebrations. You’ve just stepped out of a VIP booth, your client paying you more than you could ask for by simply requesting if you could just work the pole for him. You gladly oblige, making it one less man to give a lap dance to before your shift is over. 
Besides, you can’t help but think of San.
And the moment you start to think about him, is the exact moment you find him lingering in the club with his boys— eyes scanning the stage and room before they finally find you near the VIP booths. It’s been a minute since they’ve stopped by. San has mentioned that he and his friends have just been swamped at work and that he can’t wait to let some steam out soon. He’s in all black tonight; black fitted slacks, boots, a black-button up with his chest partially exposed. He’s got a silver chain around his neck, and god, does the sight immediately do things to you.
They order a round of drinks before San finds himself at one of the seats next to the stage. He’s entertaining the crowd a bit, joining in when your coworker steals the stage and grabs the attention from the men around you. You don’t mind because it gives you the opportunity to slip away and take a breather, maybe run for a quick water break before you sway your hips in San’s direction. 
And sure enough, he’s been waiting. Like he always is.
Just as you sweet talk your way through the crowd and grab a few extra tips for it, San gently wraps his hand around your wrist and pulls you onto his lap. He smirks at you, eyes glazed over from all the alcohol he’s already downed.
“Mm, I’ve been waiting.” He says. “Can I have you?” The question sends shivers down your spine, his touch against your hip electrifying. 
“Depends.” You tease as he slips a few bills into your bra. “Can you handle it tonight? You’re pretty drunk.”
“Can always handle you, babygirl.” He says in your ear. You instantly stand to your feet and grab his hand, leading him to one of the free VIP booths. As soon as you pull the curtains close and try to work your way over to the pole, San pulls you back onto his lap— hands caressing your sides as you fix your position and properly straddle him. “Need you here, not there.”
“Thought you liked watching me work the pole.”
“I do, but not as much as I like watching you on me.”
“You’re incredibly suave tonight, what’s gotten into you?” You giggle, feeling San’s hands grope your ass.
“Just missed you.”
“We’ve been talking quite a bit.”
“I know, but it’s not the same as seeing you.” 
“You just missed the club.”
“Nah. You.” He corrects you. Something about San is different tonight, but you can’t say you dislike it. He’s a little more straightforward, a little more bolder, a little more open about his want— his need— for you. Especially when he caresses your tits; palm gently gliding over before giving your nipples a good pinch. Especially when his lips ghost over your neck, jaw, finally finding its way to your ear. Especially when he whispers about how pretty you look and how he wishes he could kiss you.
“Who said you couldn’t?” He pauses for a moment to look at you, really look at you, before taking his hand to your cheek and bringing you down to his lips. The way your lips crash is intense, full of lust.
Want.
Need.
A craving to be fulfilled.
The kiss easily turns wet, sloppy; San’s hands digging half crescents into your hips as he guides you to work your hips against him. He lets out a shaky breath in between, lips now traveling down to your jaw, neck.
“Fuck.” You hear him groan against your skin, right before his tongue glides against the surface; nibbling and sucking gently to soothe the mark.
“San.” You call his name as he continues down to the base of your neck, collarbone— lips now pressed against your inner breast. Part of you feels so, so good in San’s arms. But the other half feels so incredibly conflicted about the whole situation solely because San is an enigma. You aren’t sure if it’s enough to sway you away. Reality hits when the crowd outside roars in cheers, pulling you away from the sweet daydream, the sweet fog that temporarily clouded your vision. Your hands rest on his shoulders as you gently pry him away and push him back. “San.” You repeat.
“Yeah?”
“We shouldn’t.” He licks his lips, eyes still glued onto yours. Surprisingly, he doesn’t fight back, no. Instead, he kisses you one last time— lips locked until one of you pulls away first. You hop off his lap and walk off towards the curtain, giving him one last look before leaving him alone. “See you out there, okay?” Is all you manage to say. San knows better than to do this here, of all places, but he can’t seem to help himself. He’s stuck on you, has this pull to you, and he wants it all. He doesn’t fight though, because he should be doing better. This probably looks all wrong and confusing to you and he doesn’t mean to do that. He’s just no good at this, no good at approaching you— you, so sexy and so independent.
It’s something about you, and he’s losing his mind.
“Shoot your fucking shot already.” Hongjoong comes around the corner from the bathroom, running into San as he exits the VIP booth.
“What?” He asks, still a bit discombobulated after the short but intense session in the booth.
“Your girl.”
“She’s not my girl.”
“Shut up.” He says, forehead furrowed. “We come to the club and all you do is look for her. Can’t tell me there isn’t anything more to it.”
“I don’t know.”
“Just do it. What do you have to lose? You’re not getting any younger.” Hongjoong snickers, but it quickly fades when San’s expression hasn’t changed. “You’re just trying to fuck, right?” San finally meets his eyes but he doesn’t say anything, and it kinda freaks Hongjoong out. “What the fuck, San?”
“What?”
“You actually like her? You can’t be serious. I thought it was just a one time thing–”
“What the fuck does it matter?” San lets out a small chuckle to play off the whole thing, but frankly, he’s trying his hardest to not let Hongjoong ruin his mood. “Look, I’m not trying to think about this here. Ready?” He nods towards the bar, finding Mingi and Wooyoung amongst the crowd.
For the rest of the night, you do what you do best— deflect and avoid. You’re not sure how long you can keep doing this around San, especially every time you have an encounter with him. You start questioning yourself so much that it gets to you, that the reality of the situation starts dawning on you even though you have no foundation to back things up. But, you’d like to think that you haven’t fallen too deep; you could still swim up to the surface if you needed to, and you’d like to keep it that way.
However, that feels like a far reach when your shift ends. You feel like you’ve escaped for the umpteenth time until you realize you really haven’t, and that maybe, San was always going to be an enigma you were meant to figure out.
“Y/N.” You hear a familiar voice call for you as you walk down the street. You’re still walking at a steady pace, but the steps behind you seem to be catching up fairly quickly. “Y/N—” You turn and place your hand over his mouth, making San furrow his brows at you.
“We’re still nearby. I’d like it if you didn’t go yelling my name around like that.” He chuckles as you let him go, continuing your walk home.
“Some people should know your name by now, right?”
“And the majority that don’t?” You look at him. “Let’s keep it that way.”
“Sorry, beautiful.” You playfully roll your eyes, trying to keep your guard up.
“What’re you doing, San?”
“Walking you home.”
“What about your friends?” You pause in your steps, creating enough distance between you and the club by now.
“They can handle their own.” He shrugs. “Let me walk you.”
“Then, what?”
“Then at least I know you’re safe and sound.” You let out a breath before continuing to walk with San. You aren’t gonna lie— having San’s company makes you feel ten times safer, and you feel comfortable having him alongside you. Usually, you rush your walk just to get home in one piece. Tonight, you can finally enjoy the crisp, night time air for a bit longer. 
Tonight, you can finally enjoy the stars for a bit longer.
Tonight, you can enjoy San for a bit longer.
“San?”
“Hm?”
“Don’t you get tired of going to the club?” He shakes his head and laughs.
“Not really. It’s kinda fun. Beats going to a regular club.”
“Can I ask?” He nods. “What do you do for work?”
“I just work for a tech company in their finance department.”
“Interesting.”
“Why?”
“I didn’t know tech guys liked strip clubs so much.”
“Change of scenery.” You chuckle, easing up a bit in San’s company. “Is this your usual walk home?”
“Mhm. It’s not so bad.”
“Yeah, but it’s also like.. 3am.” San looks down at you. “Why don’t you just take an Uber home or something?”
“Why, when it’s within walking distance?”
“Safety reasons. You don’t feel scared?”
“Not really. I’ve done this walk for years now.”
“Why don’t I just bring you home from now on?” You laugh.
“Even if you don’t go to the club?”
“Especially when I don’t go to the club.”
“That’s too much work. I can’t ask you to do that. Plus, you work a regular 9-5 I’m assuming.”
“But, I’m offering? I don’t really trickle in right at 9 for work, as long as I make my 8 or so hours for the day. Plus, I can work from home sometimes.” You don’t say anything, so he quickly follows up with: “I know the walk is close, but it makes me feel weird about letting you be out here this late after work.”
“Hm.” You look at him.
“Let me.” 
“Hey, just so we remember this— you offered and put that out on the table. Not me.” He laughs.
“Got it, your honor.”
“Are you not cold?”
“No. The cold is helping a lot right now.”
“How drunk were you today?”
“Pretty drunk.” He laughs. “It’s been a very long couple of weeks. I probably sound like a broken record but there’s no better way to put it. Lots of deadlines to meet with little time to prep.”
“Ah, the surprise deadlines. I’m sure it went fine, right?”
“Yeah, sure. After all the stress they put me through first.” San snorts.
“It’s done now. You made it.” You turn the corner and continue to walk down the path until you reach your building— a small, quaint building in the middle of the residential area. You lead San to your door at the far right corner of the building. “Welp, this is me.” You turn to look at him and he gives you a tiny, toothless smile.
“Cute.” You awkwardly fiddle with your fingers, feeling bad about turning San away. A part of you genuinely wants his company outside of the club and he seems to want the same, too.
“D-do you wanna come in, by any chance?”
“Only if you’re okay with it.”
“I am.” You turn to unlock the door. “Sorry if it’s super small and not aesthetically pleasing to look at.”
“Y/N, don’t apologize.” He steps in and steps out of his shoes, eyes wandering around your tiny studio. “It’s nice. I like the plants.” He eyes the plants near the shelf that blocks off your bed from the couch, TV and ‘living room’ area.
“Thanks. I try to take really good care of them.” He chuckles as he plops onto the couch.
“It’s a cozy space. It’s perfect for you, no?”
“I like it. I’ve been here for the past year and a half or so? Jongho’s aunt is the landlord and he did a lot to convince her to let me have this place for decent rent.”
“That’s nice.”
“Yeah. He was probably tired of me.” You grab two water bottles from your fridge. “I lived with him for a long time. We shared rooms.”
“He’s a really good friend.”
“He is.” You stand near him and hand him the water bottle. “Make yourself at home, I’m just gonna take a quick shower.”
“Can I join?” 
“Do you wanna be tossed out?” He laughs.
“Kidding.” He pulls out his phone and begins to scroll through his social media. “I’ll wait patiently.” You grab your shirt and shorts before running into the bathroom to take a quick body shower, excited to rinse off the night from your skin. It only takes you about 15 minutes to fully get ready for bed, San still waiting patiently on your couch. His eyes shift from his screen to you—
Slowly ogling your body,
Down to your legs.
“Feel better?”
“Mhm.” You plop next to him, watching as he lets his head rest on the back of the couch. “Tired?”
“Yeah.”
“You should go home and get rest.”
“Do you want me to go home?” He looks at you and you aren’t really sure how to answer the question. Yes, you do, so San can rest.
But no, you don’t, because you like having him here.
You can’t help but remember the events that transpired earlier at the club and what it would feel like to have his lips on you again—
“No, not really.”
“Good, cause I wanna keep you company for a little longer.”
“San?”
“Yeah, pretty girl?”
“When you kissed me earlier—” You lick your lips and swallow the lump in your throat. “Did you kiss me because you were drunk at the club, or because you genuinely wanted to?”
“I told you I really wanted to.” You sit and look at him, unsure of how you feel about his response. “You don’t believe me, do you?”
“It’s not that.”
“Then?”
“I don’t know, San. I can’t read you.”
“You don’t have to.” He sits up, his face only inches away from yours. “It’s okay to tell me you don’t believe me, Y/N. I’d rather you be honest than not.”
“Then, no. I don’t.” He lets out a tiny, breathy laugh, a small smirk perked up on the corner of his lips.
“Fair enough.” He says lowly, eyes scanning your lips, your face and all its features. “Then, will you give me another chance to show you so you do believe me?” His thumb gently caresses your chin before grazing over your bottom lip. “Hm?” He hums. You nod, giving him leverage to dip down further, lips locked with yours for another soft, passionate kiss. It quickly deepens when San slips his tongue in; his fighting for dominance against yours. You find yourself hurrying to position yourself onto his lap, hands grabbing at his shirt. He gently nibbles on your jaw before making his way back down to your neck, no longer hesitating to suck on certain spots to leave his mark. His hands make their way up your shirt, palming at your tits while you fiddle with the buttons of his shirt. “Let’s get this off, baby.” The petname sends shivers down your spine, making you easily oblige to his request.
You shed off his shirt just as he tosses yours to the side, mouth instantly latching onto your perked bud. His tongue moves in a circular motion, pulling back with a pop before moving onto the next. You let out a moan when he flicks around your nipple, sucking gently before trailing his lips a bit further down.
“Hold onto me. Need you on the bed.” He huskily says as you wrap your arms and legs around him, San’s hands coming down to grip your ass. He takes you to your bed, wasting no time to get rid of the rest of the clothing sitting on your bodies. Everything feels so intimately rushed with San because there’s so much desire, so many thoughts and cravings to be fulfilled. He continues to kiss you, slipping two digits into you to test the waters— to see how wet you are, how tight you are. “Jesus.” He mumbles against your lips. 
You are dripping.
“Sannie.” The nickname accidently slips from your lips again, making him smile against you.
“So cute when you say my name like that.” He lets out a breath. “You’re so wet for me. Think you can take me now?” He’s pumping himself and the sight makes you drool. He’s perfectly built— toned abs and biceps, skin dipped in honey, a perfectly thick cock. You nod, eager to get a taste of San, eager to see what he’ll do to you.
“Need you.”
“Oh, you do?” He has that smug smirk on his face just as positions himself at your entrance. “Shit, I don’t have a condom—” 
“Here.” You quickly dig through your nightstand and grab a condom you got last week. Dude who tipped you off thought he was slick by throwing a condom in there, thinking he could get some.
At least it came in handy to your liking.
San quickly rips the packet open, throwing the condom on before lowering himself back down onto you. You let out a broken moan when he slips himself in, slowly burying himself to the hilt. His breath is hot against your neck, the both of you releasing shaky exhales while you get used to the feeling. He begins to rock his hips at a slow, steady pace; mumbling curses against your skin as he adjusts to your walls sucking him in.
“God, you feel so good— fuck, Y/N. You’re so hot.” He grunts, his thoughts running wild about seeing you at the club, getting his lap dances.
To this.
Everything about you drives San wild and he’s not even sure how he can explain the feeling. So sexy, so independent; attitude on na-na while worrying about yourself and yourself only.
San starts to fuck you faster, hips pounding against you and echoing in the studio. You’re both probably a bit too loud for your neighbors right now, but you truly could care less. San was driving himself into you at a delicious pace, hitting you in all the right spots.
“San.” You call his name, hands tugging at the hair sitting on the nape of his neck. “Like that— like that.” You whimper. “Feels so good.”
“Yeah, baby?” He sits up to pound against you at a different angle, hands at your thighs to spread you completely open. He loves seeing the way your slickness coats his cock, his head tilting back in immense pleasure. “Wanna cum for me, pretty girl? Wanna cum all over this dick? So good for me.” He praises, and praises, thumb coming down to work your clit. 
“Oh, god.” You moan, hands gripping at the sheets as you feel yourself tipping over the edge the more San fucks into you, the more he rubs at your clit, the more your hips match his movements. You have never been this turned on by someone— at least, not in a very long time. San is so, so attractive. He is suave, and he knows what he’s doing with you. “So close.” San continues to praise you, telling you how beautiful you look underneath him.
How pretty you are.
How badly he wants you.
How you always drive him crazy.
And if it wasn’t for the constant praising, if it wasn’t for the way his hips worked so well against yours, if it wasn’t for the way San was skillfully rubbing at your clit— you wouldn’t be close to unraveling so quickly.
“San, I’m—“ You barely make out before you come undone beneath him, mouth slacked open as a silent moan leaves your lips; body trembling in his grip. This gives him momentum to drive his hips into you faster, harder; uncoiling shortly afterwards.
“Shit, Y/N. Feels too good.” San groans, unloading into the condom. His hands tightly grip your thighs as he gives it one, two more thrusts before coming back down from his high.
Everything feels so beautiful, yet intimately rushed. So, so good yet equally so, so bad for you.
Before you can even say anything, San lowers himself to give you a kiss on the lips. He kisses you for awhile before slipping himself out and grabbing a napkin to wrap the condom in. He quietly takes another few napkins to help clean up, wiping you gently before moving onto himself and plopping onto your bed next to you.
“You okay?” He asks, eyes closed as he regulates his breathing.
“Mhm.”
“Good?”
“Maybe.” He chuckles at your response, pulling you into his arms while you pull the sheets over the both of you. “Definitely worn out, though.”
“Yeah, same.” He kisses the top of your head. “Mind if I crash here for a bit? I don’t mind leaving too, if it makes you uncomfortable. Just let me know.”
“No, you’re good. I don’t mind, San.”
“Was hoping you’d say that.” You chuckle, adjusting your position to comfortably lay on San and fall asleep on his chest.
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This is when you start to regret ever giving San the attention, your number, everything. 
Because now that you know him a little more, San has become your kryptonite.
After that night, you woke up to an empty bedside— almost no signs of San entirely in your studio. Though it made your heart clench a little bit, part of you knew you wouldn’t be waking up to him.
For work, for other reasons.
Other reasons being that maybe, he really just did want you the one time. And the thought lingered for a little longer when he took awhile to text you that day, your mind running through all the worst possible scenarios during the hours.
▹ FLASHBACK
You slept like a baby after what felt like years, warmth of the sheets still engulfing you as your eyes flutter open. The sun leaves a trail down your sheets, everything quiet; still. When you turn, you find that San is gone— the dip on that side of the bed long gone, his clothes gone, waterbottle gone.
It was like he was never here in the first place.
Your clothes are set neatly off on the edge of the bed instead of the floor. And god, it feels kinda lonely without San. It’s your first telltale sign of attachment, though you know you shouldn’t be at that point after one intimate night with him.
But, it’s hard.
You check your phone and there aren’t any new texts besides Jongho and his need to send you random Instagram reels or TikToks. You lay in bed for a bit longer, letting out a soft sigh when you catch yourself wondering about San in that way. You shut your eyes for a little more, hoping you’ll be able to shake off the ‘what if’s’ with a couple of more hours of sleep. 
Meanwhile, San tiredly walks into the office a bit past 10am, hopping straight into his first meeting of the day. It lasts an hour before he’s finally able to walk to the kitchen to grab his first [and much needed] cup of coffee.
“What the fuck happened to you last night, Mr. Suave?” Wooyoung comes beside him, waiting to get his cup of coffee refilled.
“I walked Y/N home.” San smirks.
“Yeah, obviously.” Wooyoung slightly glares at him. “You’re not slick, dumbass. You fucked, didn’t you?”
“What’s it to you?”
“Wow, I’m your bestfriend and you’re asking me that question?” Wooyoung lets out a little ‘pfft’ before playfully shoving San aside to finally get his refill. “I’ll take that as a yes. What’s the deal with you and Miss Crimson, anyway?”
“I like seeing her.” San shrugs. “I like her company.”
“You barely know her outside of the strip club.”
“I believe that’s the point of getting to know her.” San says in a very matter-of-a-fact tone.
“Dude, I didn’t think you’d actually go for her.” San raises his brow.
“Why is everyone saying that? What’s so wrong about it?”
“Nothing! I really just thought you were trying toot it and boot it.”
“Hm.” All San can do is hum while he stirs the stirrer around in his cup. 
“But what about Noelle? You guys have that weird, toxic ex relationship thingy going on.” Wooyoung almost visibly shudders at the thought of their complicated relationship. So much back and forth, lying, getting in each other’s beds just to fulfill a need even though they don’t mean it for shit.
Yeah, toxic.
“Yeah, no. I’m done with that.”
“Mm, but you’ve said that before. You mean it? Like you’re actually over her because you genuinely like Y/N? Or, you’re done with it until you cave again?”
“I’m done with it.”
“Yeah, we’ll see.” Wooyoung takes a sip of his coffee. “I saw her texting you again.”
“I’m trying to tell her it’s done with.”
“Don’t see the urgency though, Mr. I-like-Y/N-and-I-enjoy-her-company. Out here breaking hearts in true Choi San fashion.” 
“Don’t say shit like that.” 
“Okay.” Wooyoung laughs, leaving him in the kitchen. San sighs to himself, a little tired, stressed even, about the whole Noelle situation. Truthfully, Wooyoung is right. Him and Noelle have too much history, too much baggage. Too much of that toxic shit. San is partially to blame because he does crawl back to her, he does cave pretty easily. And it’s not even because San wants to get back with her, no. He knows they can’t work out. All they do is bring out the worst in each other. 
But, Noelle is the only thing he’s known for awhile. She fills his void pretty well because it’s familiar territory. 
He’s done with it, though. He swears. He’s confused and not entirely sure where he sees this going right now, but you are intriguing. He sees you and his curiosity skyrockets. He wants to know more about you, and after last night, he feels like he can’t get enough of you. He wants more, and he’ll continue to show you that.
▹ END
“Yo.” Jongho’s eyes are barely peeking over the screen on the FaceTime call.
“What’s up?”
“What’re you doing?”
“Just hanging out. Eating some lunch.” You continue to poke at the salad you made. “How’s work?”
“Good, I guess. I’m grabbing some food right now from the shop down the street. How’s loverboy been?”
“Would you stop calling him that?”
“Well, what else is he, Y/N?” Jongho laughs a bit. 
“Not my loverboy.”
“Says you even though he drops by to bring you food and calls you nonstop.”
“He doesn’t call me nonstop.”
“Sorry, once a day.” He gives you a look. “Have you seen him lately?”
“No. He went to the club once last week. Said he’s been busy again with work. I feel like it’s something else, though.”
“Mmm.” Jongho hums. “You’re overthinking.”
“I’m not.”
“I can hear you from here. What is it?”
“He’s just been kinda weird lately.” 
“Distant?”
“Yeah. Maybe it is just work.”
“He’s probably just got way too much on his plate.”
“I shouldn’t even be thinking about it like this too much.” You finish up your salad. “It’s fine. I’m sure he’s fine.”
“Mm, okay. Well. Are you doing your usual shift at the club later?”
“Yeah.”
“How’s it been? Wanna hang out tomorrow before your shift?” He slightly pushes the phone away after placing his order and paying at the cashier.
“It’s the same old.” You sigh. “I’m down for that though.”
“Okay. I’ll come get you.” 
“Jongho.”
“Yeah?”
“Seeing San makes me question myself. I don’t know if that’s good or not.”
“In what way?”
“I just feel ashamed. It makes me wanna look for a different job and leave the club.”
“Well, okay. Are you still happy at the club, or do you wanna do something else?”
“I’m happy but I feel like I could do better.”
“Because of San or because of you? Kinda important to differentiate. If you’re still happy but feel like you could do better for you, then great! But, if you wanna do better just to impress San and do it for him, then no.”
“I feel so stupid. I mean, he drops me off at home. We see each other from time to time–”
“Have sex with each other from time to time–”
“Jongho!”
“What?” He laughs.
“You’re in public!”
“So?! It’s natural human behavior. My god.” He laughs a bit more. “I’m not wrong though.”
“It’s so dumb. I don’t even know what this is. Probably not even something to be questioning my life like this.”
“Has San ever said anything to make you feel that way?”
“No. In fact, he’s supportive about everything and didn’t make me feel terrible about my past decisions.”
“Then you’re overthinking again.” He thanks the staff before grabbing his bag of food. “Y/N, what did I tell you? Just let things be. Don’t make any rash decisions or start assuming things if everything is fine.”
“But is everything fine?”
“It sounds like it to me. He seems like a nice guy. You might wanna have that conversation about what you two are later on if things really haven’t progressed yet, but otherwise, I truly think he’s a nice guy and he’s probably just busy.”
“Jongho–” Suddenly, a few knocks come to your door, throwing you off guard mid-call.
“Guess that’s my cue to go. Text me about tomorrow.”
“Alright.” You say right before ending the call. You set your bowl aside in the kitchen before looking through the peephole on the door. To your surprise [or not], San is standing there on his phone with a small bag in hand.
“Hey.” You say, as you let him in. He smiles, but San doesn’t respond right away with the same enthusiasm. Instead, he shifts his attention to the text that came through on his phone before tucking it away and smiling at you.
“Hey. Sorry.” He hands you a small bag. “I bring pastries.”
“Mm, more pastries.” You tease with a giggle. “Thanks. What brings you here?”
“Sorry, I meant to text you but I forgot. I just wanted to see you since I haven’t been able to for a bit.” He kisses you on the cheek before making his way to your couch.
“Work’s been crazy, hm?” He sighs and leans his head back.
“Uh, yeah. It has been. But, it’s finally the weekend and I can kick back for a bit.” His hand comes up to run your back while you dig through the pastries he bought. “Did you eat already?”
“Mm, yeah. I just made a small salad. I’m not too hungry. Was on the phone with Jongho for a bit.”
“I see. You should eat a little more before your shift.”
“I will.” You look at him. “Are you guys going to the club tonight?” He nods.
“Mingi said he needs it.” You chuckle.
“Do you need it, too?”
“Kinda, but I’m here with you already and I get you all to myself.”
“You do that at the club, too.” You tease.
“Can’t help it.” San quietly looks at you while his arm is loosely around your waist. You observe him for a bit, trying to see if you can read into him or find any obvious signs of what else has been stressing him lately. He’s the same, except more tired, not as talkative or playful like he usually is. Your gut tells you it’s something deeper than work and you’re not sure how you’ll figure him out.
“San.”
“Mhm?” 
“You sure it’s just been work stressing you out?” He leans forward to meet your gaze with a small smile.
“Yeah. I’m sorry I haven’t really been myself lately.”
“No, it’s okay. You don’t have to apologize.”
“I missed you, though. I really missed you.” His finger is tracing soft circles against your hip. He dips forward to place a gentle kiss right below your earlobe, his soft, pink lips sending tingles down your spine. You shouldn’t be buckling this fast around San, but god, does he have you wrapped around his finger. He places a kiss at the corner of your lips and you instantly feel like jelly.
You missed him, too.
And you want him. Badly.
Before you know it, San is sitting up against the wall, watching you bounce on his dick like the good girl you are. He’s watching through hooded eyes; glued to the way your tits bounce, the way his cock slides in and out of you, the way you moan for him like all of this was made for you and you only.
“Fuck.” San groans, hands on your hips to guide you and slam you down onto his length. “You know how to ride me so well.” He watches as you begin to roll your hips against him, taking more control while riding him; it's pure ecstasy. Your moans, your movements, everything about it is just.. addicting. 
You have such a captivating presence, and San can't help but lose himself in you.
“Baby, if you keep working me like that, you’ll make me cum.” He moans, head resting back against the wall. Your hand rests on his neck, giving it a gentle squeeze as you feel yourself bubbling with pleasure. Your clit is rubbing against him deliciously, and you can’t help but sit back and ride him at a different angle. 
“Sannie.” You moan loudly. “Ohhhhshit.” Your words melt together when you suddenly feel yourself unraveling quicker than expected. “I’m cumming— fuck, fuck, fuck—“ You repeat like a mantra, hips working sloppily against him as you come undone; the sounds bouncing off the walls nothing short of pornographic.
“That’s my good girl.” San loves watching the way your face contorts in pleasure, the way you moan loudly, the way he could hear how wet you are. Once you’ve come down from your high, San wastes no time getting you on your fours— face down, ass up. He gives your ass a good knead, spitting onto your pussy before lining himself back up at your entrance. He pushes himself in and works at a steady rhythm, giving your ass a good smack. You let out another moan, tears pricking your lids at how sensitive you’re feeling right now. He’s fucking into you so good, your ass is clapping against him. “You look so good like this, baby. You like it when I fuck you like this, hm?” He gives your ass another smack, cheek red from the impact. “Does it feel good?”
“So good, San.” He moans loudly as he continues to piston into you.
“Your pussy was made for me.” He groans. “Whose is it, Y/N?”
“Y-yours.” You choke, cheek digging deep into the mattress. 
“Louder, babygirl. I can’t hear you.”
“Yours!”
“There you go.” He grunts, ass feeling numb from San fucking into you. The way he’s driving into you and hitting your spot at this angle feels so good, you feel the pleasure bubbling in your pit again. You raise yourself up a bit to rub at your clit, pushing your orgasm forward as San’s movements begin to get sloppy. “Shit, Y/N.”
“San, cum for me.” You egg him on as he begins to pant. Hearing him praise you and call your name pushes you over the edge once more, hands gripping at the sheets while you shudder from the second orgasm taking over. San quickly pulls out and unloads onto your ass, back.
“God.” He huffs as he gives himself one last pump and pants heavily. “So good for me. You okay, pretty girl?” His hand comes up your back, leaving a random trail of kisses along the way.
“Yeah.” You let out a breath.
“Let me clean you up. Don’t move.” He quickly runs to your bathroom to grab some wipes. “Gonna be kinda cold. I’m sorry.” He apologizes in advance before taking a wipe to your back.
“That feels kinda nice.” San chuckles, allowing you to lay back on your bed first before slipping in next to you post-cleanup.
“You feel nice.” You laugh, laying your head on his chest while he grabs his phone.
“So, what time are you guys heading to the club tonight?”
“I don’t know. Probably between 9-10pm?” 
“You know there’s an event tonight, right?”
“I heard.” San laughs. “Some male dancers are guesting at the club?”
“Yeah. They’ll be on the second stage, though.” San nods, a few texts coming into his phone. You can’t help but glaze over the previews, back to back texts coming in from a ‘Noelle.’ The messages aren’t too lengthy, but she is texting him quite a few times and the previews alone are enough to make your stomach twist and turn.
It’s making you anxious, and for some reason, your gut tells you this Noelle is significant to San. 
He’s not trying to pay attention to it right now though, and it’s probably just because he’s in your company post-sex. He briefly looks at the messages at the top, thumb coming up to swipe them away. 
“Is it just you guys?” You ask, wondering if San would open up to you otherwise.
“Uh, yeah. Pretty sure. Unless Mingi invites other people.”
“Mmm, okay.”
“I’m excited to see you on stage again.” He looks down at you with a smirk. 
“Yeah right.”
“Swear. Everyone knows I’m only there for you. It’s kinda nice to show it off.”
“Show what off?”
“That you’re mine.” He winks, making your heart melt into a puddle. You hate that San gives you these signals, but there hasn’t been much to it besides seeing each other occasionally outside of the club and fucking each other’s brains out. 
“Don’t say shit you don’t mean.”
“Who said I didn’t mean it?!” You shake your head and turn to your side, now going through your own phone. San gives you a kiss on the shoulders, hand coming up to rub your arm while he continues to plant random kisses at the nape of your neck, below your ear, jaw.
“Sannie, what are you doing?” You giggle, ticklish from the feeling of his lips against your skin.
“Kinda want you again.”
“Are you serious?” You turn to look at him and he smirks.
“Can’t help it. You drive me crazy.” His hand comes down to your thigh, giving it a squeeze. “Wanna keep taking care of you.”
“Do you, now?” You tease, letting San continue to kiss you; hand coming down and ghosting your clit. You decide to let San have you once more before he’s struggling to part from your lips, even as he’s about to head out the door. 
You blush watching him leave, excited to show off and see him tonight.
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The night comes rather quickly because the club is incredibly packed with all sorts of people making their way in to see all of the dancers. You’re having to entertain on stage, deliver drinks and give a few private dances. It’s nothing beyond what you’re already used to doing, but the clientele is booming tonight and you’re constantly moving around all ends of the club.
It’s a little past 10pm when you catch wind of Mingi, Hongjoong, San and Wooyoung. And for a minute, your eyes light up. San immediately plops onto a chair, legs spread as he smirks. He gestures for you to come over with his finger and lightly taps his lap, making you giggle to yourself while you continue to perform a few tricks on the pole. 
“Gorgeous.” San eyes the high-cut bodysuit sitting on your body, showing off all your curves beautifully. 
“You made it.” You crouch down in front of him, hands trailing up his legs.
“Of course, why would I miss out some more?” He winks, stuffing a few bills in the slit of your bodysuit while you stand lean towards his ear. 
“Can I get you something to drink?”
“You?” You laugh.
“Cliché.”
“Kidding, baby.” He bites onto his bottom lip. “Can we get shots of whiskey?”
“All four of you?”
“Yes please, pretty lady.” Hongjoong smirks. “Bodysuit looks good on you.”
“Openly hitting on San’s woman is crazy.” Wooyoung laughs loudly.
“Just complimenting her.” 
“Yeah, keep it up.” San teases Hongjoong.
“Thank you. I’ll be back.” You smile at Hongjoong before stepping over to the bar to grab their shots. At this point, it feels like everything happens so quickly; the following moments, the rest of the night— all a blur. When you return to the four, they’ve added a few more to the group. And this time, it’s a group of 5 girls— one that is in a heated conversation with San off to the side. You slow your pace, watching as she clings around his waist, but he gently shoves her off and shakes his head. He heads back to his seat and she welcomes herself on his lap, ignoring everything that he had just done to her moments ago. San doesn’t seem entirely pleased being that he’s been trying to distance himself from her, but to no avail— you’ve already returned and he panics.
“Here.” You hand them their drinks, handing San’s last.
“Noelle, seriously. Can you please get off my lap?” Noelle. You can’t help but feel your heart fall to the pit of your stomach, though you’re trying your best to brush it off in the heat of the moment. 
“You’re such a killjoy.” She whines, sitting on the edge of the chair. 
“Thank you, love.” His look is unreadable when he reaches for his glass and so is yours. But, San knows you saw everything and he knows it all looks wrong. It, all of this, must seem so fucked up to you right now and he wishes he could just pull you aside to clear up the air.
“Thank you, Miss Crimson.” Mingi raises his shot glass to you.
“Is that the stripper San is into?” You overhear one of the girls ask, followed by a:
“He’s not serious, right? Her?” Noelle scoffs and you subtly roll your eyes, getting ready to head back to the bartender. You weren’t gonna let this girl get to you. Not today.
“Have a good night.” Is what you tell Wooyoung in passing, making him flash San a look shortly afterwards.
“Don’t think she’s too happy about Noelle being here.”
“I didn’t know they were actually coming either.” San glares at him, trying his best to shake off Noelle and continue to create some distance. He truthfully didn’t think Noelle and her friends were coming along. Mingi had briefly mentioned the event to them, sliding in a stupid joke about how much San loves coming solely because of you. She didn’t take it lightly, hence why she decided to come along even though their initial plan was to head to the regular club down the street. 
When San sees Noelle, he’s pretty irritated. The last time she was texting him, she was blowing up his phone about shit from the past and their relationship. Quite frankly, he no longer has energy to deal with her and he’s tired of the back and forth. He doesn’t wanna start any issues tonight since it seems too late to brush them off and he doesn’t wanna dampen the mood. He knows how clingy she gets and he knows how she can act when she feels him slowly slipping from her grip, especially if they’re together in person. The last thing San wanted to do was upset you, nor did he want you to think of him as an asshole who only wanted you for one thing. 
That was not his plan.
He knows you’re not happy and he knows he fucked up for even trying to brush this off, for hiding Noelle when he had no reason to.
“You aren’t actually into the stripper are you?” She questions San and he furrows his brows.
“It literally isn’t any of your business.”
“Wow, so you are? I came out tonight, hoping we could—”
“Oh god, enough of that shit. Not here.” Wooyoung sighs. “Let’s go enjoy ourselves, that’s the whole point of tonight, right?” Wooyoung tries to push his bestfriend to the main stage, leaving the girls to enjoy the men on the second stage. You’ve continued to deliver a few drinks around the other room before stepping back onto the main stage. In your peripherals, you can see San eyeing you; almost pleading for you to swing by his way.
Except, you don’t, and you start to entertain a few men on the other side of the stage. San feels his blood boil a little when he sees you giving your attention to another man, knowing full well you were doing this on purpose.
And you were. You weren’t exactly sorry about it.
Because you didn’t have time for this bullshit, and your job still needed to get done. At the end of the day, you are just a dancer. What more could you be to him? You temporarily feed into their fantasies, nothing more, nothing less.
The reality is hitting you more and more tonight.
It makes you feel stupid for having thought otherwise, for letting the possibility live longer than it should’ve.
You’re not sure if you have time to entertain someone who has all that baggage.
San comes around to see you in better view, watching as you crouch down with your legs cocked open; swiping two fingers across your tongue before running it over your [barely] clothed pussy. San clenches his jaw when the man in front of you leans forward with a huge smirk on his lips, holding a roll of bills in his hand.
“Uh oh.” Wooyoung instigates. “I told you so. In true Choi San fashion.”
“Stop that.” Wooyoung shrugs.
“Noelle’s here, hoping she could be the one to go home with you tonight. And that one—“ He points at you over his glass. “Thinks you’re toying with her emotions. Pick a fucking battle.”
“I already told you I was done with the whole Noelle thing. She doesn’t get it for whatever reason.” San slightly groans and clicks his teeth. “Why did Mingi invite them, anyway?”
“I don’t know? I can’t control that boy’s mouth. Besides, you know he’s been trying to get with Donna after those dates didn’t go well.” San sees you dip into a private booth with the guy, shutting the curtains closed without looking his way. He takes a sip of his drink, stepping closer to the stage to try and enjoy himself– ignoring the possibilities of what’s going on behind that curtain.
The club feels suffocating, and he wants out.
Especially when you seem to be taking your time in the booth.
“You wanna head out? Noelle and the girls wanna head down the street now. Said they’re bored of the guys already.” Mingi asks, pointing at the girls getting ready to head out to the next club down the street. 
“Already?” Hongjoong cocks a brow up. “We literally just got here.”
“Yeah, I guess they’re over it.”
“I mean, whatever. Just don’t ask me to leave the other club hella early.” Joong rolls his eyes. “Whose bright fucking idea was to invite them anyway?” He glares at Mingi.
“Sorry! I wanted to be nice and extend the invite. I didn’t think they’d be over it so quickly.”
“Right, you wanted to be nice and get into Donna’s pants.”
“Do you wanna stay back?” Wooyoung asks in San’s ear, but all San can do is shrug. “We don’t have to go with them.”
“Let’s just go, I’ll never hear the end of it if we stay back.” Wooyoung simply looks at him in return.
“Let’s go!” Mingi yells. San subtly looks back to try and see if you’re out of the booth, but Mingi is already shoving him towards the door– towards Noelle and her friends.
“Choi San, hurry up!” Noelle whines as she waits for him.
“Noelle, you don’t have to wait for me. You can go with your friends.”
“Why are you acting so mean tonight?” She tugs on his wrist, but he snatches it out of her grip. “It definitely can’t be about her, right?”
“Go have fun with your friends and I’ll worry about my own.” San doesn’t mean to sound like an asshole, but he’s truly tired of the back and forth between Noelle. He hates that she acts this way, and he hates that she’s here. He feels like the night has gone to waste because he won’t be able to fully enjoy himself.
On top of that, you’re livid with him.
Speaking of you— You’ve kept yourself close to the pole even though your client has asked you for a lap dance. Once, twice, maybe even thrice. He’s attractive, but your mind is glued to San and how terrible this night ended up playing out for you. Luckily, the client doesn’t seem to fight much against it; as long as he gets his fix of you somehow, he’ll take it. Tonight’s one of those nights where you’ll stay for the full 45 to get the extra money, to hide away from the rest of the crowd. 
One, two.
Twirl around the pole.
Three, four.
Invert and lean back.
Five, six.
Gently fall into the splits.
Seven, eight.
Bounce your ass on the stage. 
“You’re a fucking goddess.” He says, gently palming himself through his pants, forcing you to mask the disgust you feel watching him openly do that. Though, you’ve seen worse and you’ve trained yourself to have the thick skin needed in this industry. Right now, it hits differently. Because of San, because of Noelle.
Because of everything.
“You sure you can’t come down here and get on daddy’s lap? I think I’ve slipped you enough money to at least get a lapdance.”
“Sorry, not doing that tonight, love.” 
“Aw, why not? Not even for me?”
“Not for you. Or them.” You say, bending over to at least give him a peek of what he wants.
“You sure you’re not saving it all for someone else?”
“Nope.”
“Gonna have to come back on a better night then.” He bites his bottom lip. “You’re my favorite. I swear you drive me crazy.” The statement is enough to trigger San’s voice in your head, causing you to rush through the last bit of your pole dance before thanking the man for his time and tip.
When you step out of the booth, you no longer see San and his group and it instantly makes your heart clench. You didn’t know what to expect tonight, but you definitely didn’t expect San to leave so quickly with his friends—
With Noelle and her friends.
Now, you’re back to square one. You feel like a mere distraction, something that temporarily fills the void; nothing more, nothing less. You quickly head to the back to get some air and a moment to yourself, finding a few texts from San:
san: Y/N, i’m sorry. i didn’t know they were coming. mingi just invited them and didn’t really say anything about it.
san: i know you’re probably wondering about her and i can explain. it’s really not what it looks like. 
san: let me know when you’re off? i wanna take you home still. 
san: i wanna talk to you and see you. please.
You swallow the lump in your throat as you shut off the phone and ignore the texts. Even if you wanted to answer back, even if it fucking pains you to re-run through those texts, you keep your head up and throw on a brave face for the rest of your shift.
San is still your kryptonite, and you aren’t sure where to go from here.
You need to leave quickly enough to avoid running into San tonight. 
Guess you’d be taking your usual walk alone. 
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You managed to dodge San and his friends on your way home that one awful night, ignoring his calls even as you’ve gotten comfy and tucked in your bed. San continued to blow up your phone into the next day until he realized you weren’t gonna answer him anytime soon.
And it sucked.
But, you needed to hold your ground. You needed to go back to the Y/N who worried about her own, the Y/N who didn’t let anything faze her even if she was hurt by loved ones, by friends.
You needed to go back to the Y/N who kept it real with herself and was proud of how far she’s come despite the ups and downs.
You hadn’t seen San come to the club, and it was probably his way of giving you the space that you indirectly asked for. And indeed, you needed this.
You needed to go back to the old Y/N and reprioritize.
“Hey baby.” Mia says, hand on the small of your back as you dab a bit of lip gloss onto your lips.
“Hey.”
“How’re you doing?” She brushes your hair back and gives you a small, sympathetic smile.
“I’ve seen better days.” You let out a chuckle.
“You haven’t texted him back?” You shake your head.
“No. I don’t really know what to say. I just feel kinda dumb. Maybe we were just meant to be a thing in passing.”
“Don’t say that. I know he had some feelings for you, and I know the situation was unique. But, nobody would go through all that effort if it didn’t matter to them.”
“Mm, yeah, He just has some baggage he has to deal with and I don’t think I have time or energy for that.”
“For all you know, it could just be her.”
“But, why hasn’t he officially let her go then?” Mia pouts a bit.
“I think he’s over it. He didn’t seem all that interested in her at all.” She nods. “Talk to him, hun. Let him explain. It might just be a misunderstanding.”
“Yeah, maybe.” She gives you a reassuring smile.
“Whenever you’re ready.”
“I know, babe. Thanks.” You give her a toothless smile, letting out a small squeal when she slaps your ass.
“Now get out there and do your thing, the clients are waiting.” You chuckle and shake your head, taking one last look in the mirror before you head out to the main stage. You strut your way across the floor, doing your usual sweet talk with a few of the men lining the stage. You take the stage for a bit and do your usual routine, letting them slip their bills wherever they can under your gear, or shower the stage with a few more extra tips. Just as you were getting into the swing of things, you catch San walking in by himself. You almost lose track of your thoughts, distracted by how good he looks. He’s sporting simple slacks and a gray-striped button up with chelsea boots, rolex on his wrist. He looks around the club before his eyes land on yours, and you suddenly feel like you’ve lost the ability to move, to dance.
▹ FLASHBACK
“I’ve never seen you this sulky. It’s kinda annoying.” Wooyoung plops next to San on the couch, watching as he slouches and lazily texts back on his phone.
“Fuck off.”
“I’m assuming she’s not answering your texts or calls yet?”
“Nope.”
“Down bad.”
“Are you here to help or to get on my nerve?” San glares at his bestfriend.
“Why don’t you just go see her?”
“I don’t wanna cross boundaries and be in her space, especially if she’s already not answering my texts or calls.”
“Maybe this is what she needs, though. She’s probably still assuming shit about Noelle. Which, by the way, I hope you ended it. For real.”
“I did. That’s why she was hella upset during the last half of the club and I left.”
“I thought you left to go after Y/N. Where exactly did you go?” 
“I mean, partially. I was gonna go after her and bring her home, but I was too late. The other half of me was pissed off because Noelle kept crying and trying to gaslight me. I told her I didn’t wanna do this anymore. Was tired of it. I told her we just don’t work and it’s time for us to move on.”
“‘Bout time you realized.” Wooyoung rolls his eyes. “I know you have love for her and I know she meant a lot to you, but that girl is crazy. You continued to feed into it, too.”
“Yeah, well.” 
“Just go see Y/N, dude. You look terrible.” San flips him off. “I mean it. If you want shit to change, then keep taking initiative.”
“I just don’t wanna scare her off. I already fucked up enough with this whole Noelle thing.”
“Damn, what did Y/N do to you?” Wooyoung laughs. “I truly didn’t think you’d end up finding your boo thing at the strip club. I’d like another thank you if this all goes well.” He smirks. “Thank you Wooyoung for making us go to the club on my birthday.” He says in a sing-song tone.
“Yeah, yeah.” San sighs. “I’ll probably head to the club tonight and try to talk to her.”
“Want me to come? Moral support.” He shakes his head.
“Thanks, but I think I’ll be good.”
▹ END
You quickly head off the stage and head to the bar, switching gears to take a break from the stage. You scurry along, hoping you aren’t making it too obvious that you’re trying to deflect and avoid San yet again. 
But, he knows. 
“Y/N, hey. Wait.” San says as you brush past him, hand gently coming to your wrist. You wiggle out of his grip, giving him a look as you continue on to the next room. “Y/N.” He continues to call, hurriedly following after you. “Y/N, please.” He says as he comes to your side while you gather a few drinks onto your tray.
“San, what? I’m working.” You respond, still keeping your attention to the drinks.
“Why haven’t you been answering my texts or calls?”
“Because.”
“Because, what? I didn’t mean to leave early without saying anything to you that night. I wanted to come back and take you home.”
“Oh, but Noelle didn’t let you, right?” 
“Y/N, please don’t do that. That’s not even what happened—” San has his hand around your wrist again, his eyes pleading for you to hear him out. 
“Aye, come on, my guy.” An unfamiliar man from the crowd comes in between you and San, ripping his hand away from your wrist. “Care to share? Stop being so selfish and gatekeeping her—”
“The fuck are you?”
“I see you come into this club with your friends, acting all high and mighty. You heard what I said.” He steps closer towards San. “Stop being so fucking selfish with her, hm? She’s for the crowd, baby’s meant to be shared—” The man suddenly slaps your ass and it turns a switch on for San. San pushes him away, causing the other man to lose his footing before attempting to swing at him.
“Stop that!” You try to yell, hoping it’d somehow break them apart. San is quick to dodge the first swing, but he gets unlucky with the second. San is quick to regain his composure, throwing a punch to him and causing him to fall to the ground. He towers over him and continues to lay a few more punches while you yell at security for assistance. “Quit it! San, stop! Stop it!” You repeat, prying him off of the man on the floor. “San!” You grip his bicep and pull him back.
“Fucking idiot.” San spits, hand coming to his jaw to ease the soreness. 
“Get them out of here!” You tell security and San furrows his brows at you.
“Y/N—”
“Out. Now!” You repeat yourself, following after security as they get their hands on both San and the other guy, escorting them out of the club. One shoves the other man through the front entrance, while the other shoves San out of the side entrance. You’re already following behind, signaling for security that it’s okay for him to leave you alone with San. He gives you a curt nod as he walks around the corner— giving you enough distance that allows privacy, but also allows him to step in if necessary. “What the fuck are you doing?!”
“I wasn’t gonna let him talk about you like that, Y/N. Don’t ask me that fucking question.”
“It’s my job.” You remind him. “I meant what are you doing here?! Why did you come here, San?”
“I came here to talk to you!” His tone raises. “You aren’t answering my texts or calls, and all I wanna do is make this right. What do you expect me to do?”
“Let it go.”
“Why would I do that?”
“Because, San. What is it to you, anyway?”
“Are you serious?” He sighs, running his hand through his hair. “If you would just give me one second to talk to you—“ He pauses and lets out a frustrated sigh. “Y/N. All I want to do is talk to you and explain. I don’t wanna leave things like this.” He lowers his voice and steps closer to you.
“Then talk.” You cross your arms and shift your weight from one foot to another.
“Y/N, me and Noelle are done with. We’ve been done with for awhile. She’s my ex and we’ve gone through some shit but it’s over with.” He lets out a breath, the air cold and crisp against your skin. “Mingi invited them that night, and I just didn’t wanna cause any issues between us and ruin the night. She threw herself on me and I had been asking her to stop. I didn’t ask her to do that, nor did I want to entertain it. I shouldn’t have left with them though, I knew how that would look, too. I’m sorry. I promise you it meant nothing. I even told Noelle she needed to move on that night. I came back to the club, but you had already left.”
“San.” You shake your head. “Why?”
“Why, what?”
“Why me?”
“Y/N, I really do like you.”
“But, that’s the problem. You don’t even see the issue with this.”
“What issue?!
“Us! That’s the fucking issue, San! We come from such different lives, does that not bother you? We’ll never be on the same page, we’ll never work.” San furrows his brows, trying his hardest to take the blow even though it hurts to.
“Why would you say it like that? I don’t care about how different our lives are. That doesn’t matter to me–”
“It does to me!”
“Why?! I don’t care what people think and so shouldn’t you! Wouldn’t we be enough?”
“It’s so easy for you to say because you don’t know what it’s like to be on my side of things.”
“Then, let me know!” San raises his voice before running his hand through his hair. “Y/N, I would never take advantage of you. Never in my mind did I ever think of you that way. Why won’t you let me be here for you?”
“Because San, you had me thinking I was stupid. I felt like you were here for one thing, and it made me question everything about myself, my life. I hated feeling that way. I even compared myself to Noelle at one point.”
“She’s nothing to me! I’m sorry for having hid that from you, but I didn’t think much of it at the time since the whole thing caught me off guard. She means nothing to me, and we’re done with. I’m sorry.” For some reason, you are torn. You want to believe San, and there is a small part of you that does. However, you still can’t get over the fact that he still kept her close for lord knows how long. What if he was balancing you both at the same time? How could you know he was for sure over her and that this wasn’t just a phase?
“What if this is just a phase to you, huh? What happens when you realize how much we don’t work? That we’re just too different? That maybe she or someone else is a better fit for you all along.” Your bottom lip trembles and even though you try to hide it, San catches on. “This is my life, and it won’t change for awhile.”
“Stop putting words in my mouth and choosing how I should feel. That’s not how this works. I caught feelings for you, Y/N. Genuinely. None of our differences mattered to me, and it won’t ever. I’m sorry you felt that way and that was never my intention.” San says calmly, but god, is he terrified right now. He is anxious. Nervous. Scared. And as much as you wanna cave, you remember you are outside of the club in the freezing cold.
Arguing with San.
“San, you know what? This is enough.”
“Y/N.” He pleads through his tone.
“Please just go home.” You point at the side door before nervously rubbing at your sides. “We should talk about this another time. Not here.”
“O-okay, so are you gonna answer my texts or calls then?”
“I’ll text you, okay?” You look at him with some remorse. Right now, you don’t think you’re ready to talk to him and you probably need to sort out your thoughts before the next time. Or else, you’ll continue to try blaming him, the situation. You’ll continue to deflect, you’ll continue to let San’s words brush over your head because you aren’t used to this genuine attention— these genuine feelings, genuine intentions.
San doesn’t say anything else, but his expression makes your heart break more. You let out a sigh before turning on your heel to get back into the club and finish your shift. As soon as the door shuts and acts as a barrier between you two, a few tears escape your lids. You quickly brush them away and shake off the feelings, storming out onto the main stage to finish your night strongly.
You need Jongho.
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“This fucking sucks.” You tuck your knees to your chest as Jongho sighs and pours you another shot of tequila.
“Why don’t you text him, Y/N? Just talk to him.”
“I’m kinda scared. And nervous.” You take the shot with him.
“Why? He’s literally waiting for you to text him. You’ve just been big sad over him too, don’t you think that’s a sign?”
“What am I supposed to say?”
“Oh, I don’t know, ‘hey, can we talk?’ maybe?” Jongho gives you a look before shaking his head. “I love you, but dude. Get it together. You should just talk to him and stop putting yourself through this. You obviously like the guy and he feels the same way. The whole thing with his ex was just a misunderstanding, too. What exactly are you trying to put off?”
“I think I’m just scared. You know how it was with my ex. He wasn’t nice and also made me feel ridiculously stupid and incompetent for my decisions. Even after the break up.”
“Yeah, but he’s your ex for a reason. San is not the same person.” Jongho pours you another shot. “I understand you’re scared. But, you can’t shield yourself off from everything forever. I truly think he’s a genuinely nice guy.”
“Plus, I worry about him too. How would his friends feel about us being serious? His family, his sister?” 
“I’m sure it’ll all be fine. San isn’t even worried about that, nor does he seem to care. It doesn’t matter where you come from. They should be able to see what kind of person you are and the heart you have.” 
“Mm, yeah. I just worry too much. I don’t want my life to bleed into his and ruin the shit he’s built for himself.”
“It won’t. Jeez, you aren’t a criminal Y/N. You’re great at everything you do and you’re incredibly talented. You have a lot of qualities that could take you far.” There’s another pause, enough for you and Jongho to take the last shot to the neck before you pull out your phone and click on San’s text thread.
“Fuck it.”
“Exactly.” He sips on some soda to wash down the tequila burn. “By the way, I’m never talking about you that way again.” Jongho visibly shudders, making you playfully hit him on the shoulder. 
you: hi, sorry for the random text. can we talk?
You toss your phone aside and dig your face into your hands, nervous about the text back. Granted, it’s only been close to a week and a half after the whole thing went down at the club. Time moves so fast that part of you felt terrible for making San wait in general. But, it should be a testimony to how he truly feels about you.
“What if he’s over it?” You groan into your hands.
“Then at least you know, right? You can close that chapter and move on.” Jongho takes a bite of his chicken. “Highly doubt it though.” At this point, the phone dings behind Jongho and he’s quick to grab it for you— flashing you San’s name on the screen.
“Fuck.” You whine.
san: hey. don’t apologize. of course we can. should i swing by your place soon?
“I’ll drop you off in a bit.”
“Are you sure you’re good? I can ask him to pick me up.”
“Actually, yeah. Ask him.” You chuckle as Jongho pours another shot for himself.
you: yeah, but i’m at jongho’s. do you think you can pick me up?
san: yeah i can, love. just send me the address.
“He always gets so sweet. I can’t do this.” You send San Jongho’s address.
“Yes you can!” Jongho responds. “Here, drink.” He pushes your water glass towards you. “So you don’t feel like shit later.”
san: on my way. 20 mins.
“Thanks for the food and drinks. For letting me be a crybaby. You know, the whole nine.” Jongho chuckles and nudges you on the arm.
“I got you, dude. You’re my bestfriend. I won’t let you go through these things alone.” 
“I guess I’ll keep you updated?”
“Take your time. And just be honest with him, alright? Be straight up about how you feel with everything.”
“I will.” 
When San arrives a bit after 20 minutes, you grab your things and bid your bestfriend farewell. You feel nervous, palms sweating the more you fiddle with your fingers and head down the steps to San’s car. Once you catch wind of him, you pause in your steps just to give yourself a tiny breather before committing and approaching his passenger door. He’s in a black shirt and sweats, glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose. 
“Hey.” You say as you climb in, San giving you a small smile.
“Hey. You good to go?” You buckle your seatbelt and nod, allowing San to drive off to your studio. “Did you work at the shop today?”
“Mhm, I worked an earlier shift to get off at the same time as Jongho.”
“You guys just hung out?”
“Yep. Drank, ate some food. Talked about some things.”
“Some things?”
“You.” You give him a look and he nods.
“Fair enough.”
“What have you been up to?”
“Work. I’ve been working from home lately since there isn’t much requiring me to come into the office.”
“Been busy?”
“Yup, but I’ve seen worse days.” 
“I’m sorry.”
“No need to apologize.” He lets out a small chuckle as he continues to drive on. The rest of the drive to your place is quiet, but nothing feels weird or awkward. It’s surprisingly a comfortable silence and it’s probably due to the fact that you two have missed each other even though you’re both still trying to gather your thoughts.
When he pulls up into a spot on the street, San shuts off the car and immediately runs to your side to help you out. He follows behind as you lead the way, quietly unlocking your door and tossing the keys off to the side. San sits on your couch and lets out a sigh, watching as you plop next to him after grabbing some water.
“Want anything else to drink?”
“I’m okay.” He gives you a small smile. You turn to face him, a leg tucked under the other that’s swung over the edge of the couch.
“Thanks for picking me up.”
“Of course.”
“Can we talk about what’s been happening? I just really need you to be honest with me, that’s all I ask.”
“I’ll always be honest with you, Y/N. It was never my intention to make it seem otherwise.”
“Well, after everything, I did feel pretty stupid. You knew I was already doubting myself after I lost my family and friends because of my decisions. For a second, I felt like you tricked me and that I was stupid not to realize you only wanted me for one thing.” San shakes his head, but he continues to let you talk. “I started questioning myself more and I hated the feeling. I knew I couldn’t be enough for you, or that I was completely different from girls in your past. And it felt terrible. I couldn’t help but jump to conclusions that night because who am I compared to her? I’m living such a different life and I honestly wouldn’t blame you if you realized that.” You shrug. “Anyway, I felt shitty because I genuinely had feelings for you even though I was scared. I still am, especially because I don’t know if this is just a phase or what.” You feel the tears pricking your bottom lids again but you do your best to prevent San from catching on. You look down at your hands, fiddling with your sweater sleeves. You feel San shift closer to you, his hand coming up to your cheek.
“Can you look at me please?” Your eyes shift back up to him, and you feel the butterflies in your stomach the moment you two lock eyes. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel that way.” He says softly, his thumb caressing your cheek. “I really didn’t mean to. That whole thing Noelle—” He sighs. “I’m not gonna lie, it’s been a ride with her. But meeting you and getting to know you made me realize how much I didn’t wanna be stuck in that anymore. It made me realize how much I craved normalcy with someone, something that doesn’t have to be so sad and toxic all the damn time.” He lets out a breath. “I know it sounds dumb that it took me all of this to realize, but I mean it. You make me feel things I haven’t felt in such a long time. It feels good.” He does a subtle nod. “I feel happy and good around you.”
“San, you just scare me.” A few tears stream down your cheeks and San is the first to catch them; gently wiping it away while he keeps his eyes locked onto yours. “Our lives are so different, I can’t help but worry about how this is gonna make things turn out in the future. Your family, your friends—”
“My friends are fine, they know how I feel about you. And my family knows they can’t dictate everything about my life. You—” He pauses. “Y/N, you aren’t any different just because of what you do. What matters is the kind of person you are, how you genuinely make me feel. None of that matters.”
“You know it isn’t gonna be that easy.”
“So be it. I know you’re scared, but I’m with you on this.” He runs his other thumb across your lip. “We can figure this out, okay? We can take this slow and figure it out together. I’ll stop heading to the club with the guys and be there for you in many other ways. Just know that I’m gonna support you no matter what, I’m not like everyone else. Fuck all of them.” He gives you a small, reassuring smile. “I’m sorry.” He repeats. You can’t help but lean into his hand and let out a shaky breath, kissing the palm of his hand before returning your gaze on him. His smile grows, making him plant an eager kiss on your forehead, to the tip of your nose.
Lips.
“Are we okay?” He whispers against your lips and you nod. “Can I have you then?” He whispers against your lips in between another kiss. “Make it up to you?” Another kiss. “Show you how I really feel?” You nod, giving San leverage to scoop you into his arms and carry you to your bed. He gently lays you down and is quick to shed off your clothes, admiring every inch of you. San tosses his glasses onto your nightstand before placing random trails of kisses along your body, kissing every scar, every curve, every tattoo; everything about you still continues to drive him crazy. Today, San takes his time. Though he’s eager to show you how you make him feel, he decides he’s gonna take his time with you. 
Even when he laps at your pussy, your clit, making you cum within minutes of being positioned in between your thighs.
Even when he rocks his hips into you— it’s a slow and steady pace, enough to make you feel every inch of him.
Even when he sits back onto his knees, letting you ride him.
His hands run up your sides while your hands are tangled in his hair, rolling your hips against him steadily, slowly, letting him feel every inch of you. He moans against your neck before placing wet kisses on the surface, hands now gripping tighter as he feels himself nearing his high. Everything is so intimate, so raw, so close— San can’t keep his lips off of you and hearing your moans bounce off of the walls adds to the pleasure. Your clit is rubbing deliciously against him, causing you to bite onto his bottom lip before tilting your head back in pleasure.
“Gonna cum, baby.” He groans in between open-mouthed kisses. “Be my good girl and cum with me.” You furrow your brows in pleasure, hands gripping his jaw as you continue to deeply kiss him, your climax heightening at your gut.
“Sannie.” You whine, unable to form any thoughts.
“You know how to fuck me so well. You’re perfect.” He hisses, the pleasure almost feeling too intense with how much he’s having to hold back. You start to rock your hips at a messier pace when you feel yourself climbing, moan loudly and gripping the ends of San’s hair when you finally come undone. He almost whines when he feels you twitch against him, hissing at how good you feel wrapped around him. San quickly lays you back and pounds into you, releasing his seed and painting your walls white. 
The both of you stay stationary for a second, panting and regulating your breathing once you’ve come back down from cloud nine. San brushes the hair away from your face and adoringly looks into your eyes, placing a kiss on your lips before slowly sliding himself out of you.
“Let’s get cleaned up.” He jogs over to your bathroom and turns on the shower, waiting for the water to reach a perfect temperature before grabbing you. 
While in the shower, San makes sure to lather your body with soap, giving your back and shoulders a good massage before rinsing off. You follow suit, giggling when you plop a few bubbles on his nose and cheeks. The best thing about the shower is that San doesn’t pressure you for more, no. He showers you with kisses, surely showing you just exactly what you mean to him through the action alone.
After the shower, you climb into bed with San, letting him take you into his arms while you turn on some music to softly fill the background. He gently strokes your hair, and hums along, keeping you close in his warm embrace.
“San.”
“Yeah?”
“You know what I want to do in the future?”
“What’s that?”
“I wanna own my own dance studio and teach. Help people grow their confidence and embrace their sexiness.” San chuckles. “You know? People get shy about these things or hide because they feel like they can’t dance or be sexy.”
“You’d be an amazing teacher for that.” You giggle.
“Hopefully one day.”
“We’ll make it happen. No matter how long it takes, hm?” He hums. “I got you.” You look up at San and stare at the galaxies he holds in those beautiful, brown orbs. What you did to deserve someone like San, you’ll never know— but you’ll take it as a gift from the universe; a gift that shows how proud the universe is of you for never giving up and for staying true to yourself.
For once, everything feels right. Everything seems to be where it should be. Everything in your life, as it is now, is what’s meant to be. And out of all the changes the universe has brought you, you’re at least thankful for this; for that moment San walked into the club, for the moment you took the first leap.
“You got me?” You tease and he nods.
“I got you.”
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sansaorgana · 28 days
Text
— TAMED
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PAIRING — Na-Baron Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x fem!Reader
SUMMARY — You're a cat lover and Feyd-Rautha reminds you of one. You want him and you believe you can tame him.
REQUEST — (1)
AUTHOR’S NOTE — This is not exactly what the request was about but it includes Feyd having to deal with his wife's pet (I chose a cat because I'm a cat person myself). You see, I was a bit tired of my Readers being afraid and scared and I was also tired of the arranged marriage trope, which is one of my favourites, but everyone needs a break, huh? 😅
WARNINGS — harm to animals mentioned, brief mentions of Feyd's traumatic past, Reader being absolutely spoiled
WORD COUNT — 4,230
ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.
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TAMED
“I want him,” you announced as you put your binoculars down and your lips curled into a smirk.
Your parents looked at each other, confused. You were in the stands as the guests invited to watch Na-Baron Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen’s gladiator fight. It was his birthday and his uncle made sure all the leaders of the befriended worlds were watching the display of violence and power. The display that made your parents absolutely terrified but you… You were amazed and aroused. The way young Feyd-Rautha defeated his enemies was like a brutal dance; a raw ritual. He was a feral feline and you were known to be a cat lover.
“Excuse me?” Your father asked.
“I want him. Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen,” you repeated without even looking at him. Your eyes were focused only on the man in the arena who was raising his knife in a gesture of victory.
“These people are insane,” your mother hissed.
“You keep telling me it’s time for me to find a husband. I want him,” you pouted. You were determined – but not desperate.
“I can talk to Baron Harkonnen. But I am sure he would rather marry his nephew and heir to one of the Imperial Princesses,” your father informed you as your mother gasped at his words. She opposed the idea of this match completely.
“I understand,” you nodded. “Just do whatever it takes so if you fail, I will know you couldn’t possibly do more.”
He reluctantly agreed as he squeezed your cheek as if you were still a little girl. But perhaps it was a good thing that in his eyes you still were one. Because he would do anything to make you happy and fulfil your every whim.
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You spotted your father talking to Baron Harkonnen during his nephew’s birthday party but you didn’t want to just stand in the corner and wait for the men to make decisions in your name. Despite your mother’s protests, you approached Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen and bowed slightly in sign of respect. He tilted his head, reminding you of a curious cat. You giggled and he squinted his eyes.
“Na-Baron, I couldn’t wait to meet you in person after seeing you fight in the arena,” you admitted.
“Lady (Y/N),” he greeted you coldly. “I wouldn’t expect such interests from a lady like you.”
“And I expected you would know more about the female nature,” you teased him and visibly angered him although he was trying to be on his best behaviour around guests. “Don’t you know that ladies love violence? The interesting ones at least,” you shrugged your arms.
“I don’t care what ladies like,” he answered. “I always get what I want either way.”
“I’m sure you do,” your eyes sparkled at a possibility of being one of the things he would want to claim for himself.
Most noble women were scared and disgusted after hearing all the stories about Feyd-Rautha and his sexual appetite, his psychotic nature. They would approach him only when needed and tried to stay away as far as possible. You were the very rare breed of women who would actually take interest in him and that intrigued him as he looked you up and down.
You gave him one last smile and walked back to your worried mother who was about to scold you for your reckless behaviour. However, for the rest of the night you kept glancing at the young na-baron and he was looking back. 
When you left the party, earlier than most people, you made sure to announce loud and clear that you were about to retire to your chambers. Then you looked deep into his eyes and walked out, followed by a servant. You dismissed her when you were in the guest wing and you continued your journey alone and as slow as possible.
You looked around but Feyd-Rautha seemed not to be following you. At least you could not see nor hear him and for a moment you thought you failed. After all, you were not a skilled seductress, you only did what your heart was telling you to do – your heart and your experience with the animals you loved the most. Cats.
And just like a cat and a skilled assassin that he was, Feyd silently emerged from the darkness when you were just about to open the doors leading to your bedroom. He was standing right behind you and his ominous presence sent a shiver down your spine.
“What are you doing, na-baron?” You swallowed thickly and shivered.
“Don’t pretend,” he whispered in his raspy voice. “You’re not the first spoiled noble lady who wants to use me for pleasure,” he told you. “What is it? Are you bored? Or engaged to an awful lord and you ant to find out what it’s like to have fun before you are forced to spend the rest of your life with him? Honestly, I don’t care,” he admitted and turned you around to face him. His touch was rough and for a second you genuinely felt scared when he trapped you between the doors and his muscular body.
The way he was staring down at you felt as if he was penetrating your soul. Only that his eyes were empty. He was gazing into you but you couldn't gaze back because he didn’t have a soul. There was an endless coldness in his pupils. And so much pain.
“It’s a misunderstanding,” you whispered, almost inaudibly, as the tips of your noses brushed against each other. “I am not one of those women. The only man who can take me will be my husband,” you tried to sound convincing and stern but with a small dose of innocence. He blinked slowly, surprised by your confession.
“I thought you wanted me to follow you,” he insisted.
“No,” you lied. “I was only looking at you because I find you interesting,” you looked down. “But it’s sad what you’ve just told me, my Lord,” you added.
“Why?” Feyd was confused as he took a step back.
“I don’t know… I just think you’re so much more than a toy to use for pleasure,” you looked up again to meet his gaze. “I don’t think you should let those ladies treat you like that. I know you keep telling yourself you like it but it’s not you always getting what you want. It’s them always getting what they want until there is nothing left of you, is it not, na-baron?” You batted your eyelashes and he took another step back, like a predator realising that the prey he had caught was poisonous. “Good night, my Lord… and happy birthday,” you gave him a soft smile and disappeared behind the doors leading to your bedroom.
You couldn’t sleep all night, clutching on the bedsheets and hoping for the best outcome. In the morning your father told you that The Baron was slowly starting to like the idea of your marriage union with his nephew. Apparently, he changed his mind after a conversation with Feyd-Rautha in the early morning.
“I hope you know what you’re doing,” your father warned you at the sight of your wide smile.
“Oh, papa, I always do,” you assured him, already excited about your new pet kitty.
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You stayed on Giedi Prime for a month for the courting process but Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen had the privilege of being able to call off the engagement at any moment. That, however, did not happen. He was growing more and more fond of you each day. You were watching him train and walking all around the fortress as he was telling you about his family’s history and culture. You were the most fascinated by the war stories and weapons, always eager to learn more. Always eager to let him steal a kiss here and there, let his hands wander but always stepping back when it would get too heated. You didn’t want him to use you and then discard you. No, he had to be patient for the real reward. Just like cats would lose interest if you let them catch the mouse too quickly.
What you noticed about him, though, was how much he avoided the intimate physical touch. He didn’t mind his opponents striking him or choking him, violating his body in any way, really. But the delicacy was making him flinch and startle to the point of aggression. He wouldn’t lash out at you but he would do that often at the servants. When it was you trying to caress him, he was clenching his jaw and shooting you a deadly glance. The more you knew about him, the more convinced you were that he was just a cat in a human form.
When a month passed, you were scared he would send you away. But instead of doing so, he sent a tailor and a bunch of servants to your room. It was time for you to make all the required fittings for your wedding dress. You sent out the invitations, too. And in the letter addressed to your parents, you mentioned all the things you wanted them to bring you to Giedi Prime.
One of them was your favourite kitty Mephisto.
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On the first day of your marriage you were unpacking the boxes from home as Feyd was sitting up in bed and watching you. It was the only day he allowed himself to skip the daily training as the activities between a husband and a wife could count as one, too. However, you required a break and wanted to finally reunite with your favourite items… and your favourite pet.
Feyd’s eyes widened at the sight of a hairless cat in the arms of the servant girl.
“What is that monstrosity?” He asked you.
“That’s Mephisto! My cat!” You took him from the girl’s arms and cuddled him. “Oh, mummy’s been missing you, baby,” you cooed to him and he started to purr.
“You can’t be serious, wife,” Feyd moved closer to inspect the creature with his eyes. Mephisto hissed and you giggled. “That is a cat?”
“You’ve never seen one?” You asked.
“I have. But not like that. It’s ugly,” Feyd scrunched his nose.
“Why ugly?” You gasped and held Mephisto’s head lovingly as if you were protecting him from your husband’s harsh words.
“Cats have fur. This one is so…”
“Bald?” You teased and he closed his mouth, realising the irony. “I have plenty of cats back home but I was aware I couldn’t bring them all here. I chose Mephisto because he is my favourite. We had tough beginnings. He didn’t trust me and he was scratching me a lot. He’s a mean-mean baby,” you leaned in to kiss the cat and Feyd winced as he found it disgusting.
“Do whatever but I don’t want this creature in my chambers,” Feyd stated.
“You’re insane! Mephisto will never leave these chambers. I don’t want him to get lost or hurt in the fortress. Also, he always sleeps with me,” you protested.
Feyd took a deep breath in as he closed his eyes, trying to calm himself down.
“If he scratches one thing… I will throw him out of the balcony door,” he threatened.
“If you do that, I will never speak to you again. And certainly I won’t ever share the bed with you, husband. Mephisto is like a child to me. You can’t threaten me this way. It does nothing but anger me,” you pointed out and cuddled the cat. “Aw, Mephisto, look, daddy’s angry.”
“I am not this thing’s… father,” Feyd drawled through gritted teeth as he stood up to put a robe on. “After all, I think I will go train today.”
“Then go,” you shrugged your arms. “I will cuddle with Mephisto in the meantime because I haven’t seen him in a month.”
Feyd shot you an angry glance.
“You’re not jealous, are you?” You looked up as that sudden realisation hit you.
“No,” he snorted. “Of this thing? Please,” he sneered at you and left the chambers.
“We have lots of work with your new daddy, Mephisto,” you chuckled to the kitty and kissed its head. He meowed at you.
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Feyd-Rautha absolutely despised your cat. He hated that you allowed that creature to sleep in bed with you and you were always holding him in your arms. When Feyd was working on paperwork – which he hated – Mephisto would often jump on his desk and bother him. Many times when you were out of the room, Feyd had the urge to grab the creature and throw it out of the balcony or even snap its neck but when he actually extended his hands to catch the cat, the urge disappeared.
First of all, he didn’t want to hurt you. And that was a brand new feeling for him because never before had he cared about someone’s feelings like that. And second of all, the moment the cat was in his arms, Mephisto would start to purr and rub his head on Feyd’s hand or chest. Even though at first he found it disgusting, he quickly started to enjoy it. There was something comforting in the cat’s touch. It was not human and yet so pure. As time passed, he was allowing Mephisto to nap on his lap as he worked on the papers. Of course he would quickly put the cat away whenever someone was coming. He didn’t want anyone to see him so weak.
But he was jealous of the cat, too. He was jealous of the kisses and attention he was getting. The belly rubs and scratches behind the ear. The way Mephisto would curl up and sleep on your chest. Feyd craved it from you, too, but he didn’t know how to allow himself to ask for it. It would be humiliating, he thought, but also dangerous. He wanted to trust you but he was not able to. And whenever you tried to touch him gently, he was haunted by the memories he didn’t want to remember. He didn’t cuddle you at night and he didn’t allow you to do the same. While performing the marital duties, he had a feeling they would be even better if he allowed himself a little gentleness but he just couldn’t let his guard down. Not even around you.
For a long time, Mephisto was the only creature that saw the soft side of your husband. When they were alone in your chambers, Feyd would let him not only nap on him but he would also carry him in his arms and pet him. Sometimes he was starting fights for the cat to scratch and bite him and for Feyd it was great fun. They created a bond that you had no idea about. You kept thinking that your husband despised Mephisto and he didn’t mind you thinking this way.
So, when you spotted a scratch on Feyd’s desk one day, you panicked. You quickly covered it with a few papers laying aside and fixed your hair right before your husband walked inside the chambers that afternoon.
“What are you doing here so early?” You asked as he squinted his eyes at you, suspiciously.
“I have to work on the papers, answer some stupid letters,” Feyd sighed and approached you. He put his hands on your waist and inspected your suspicious face. “Is everything alright, wife?” He asked.
“Yes, my dear, perfectly fine,” you faked a smile. “I have to go and work on the preparations for the event next week,” you reminded him and he nodded before leaning in to give you a possessive kiss. He would give you them a few times a day to remind you to whom you belonged. Not that you minded. After all, you had been wanting this from the moment you had seen him in the arena.
“See you later, then, wife,” Feyd sat by the desk and your heart skipped a beat when you spotted him picking up one of the papers you had used to cover the scratch with. However, he didn’t seem to notice the damage done to his desk. You sighed with relief and left the chambers, hoping that Feyd would continue to be blind when it came to that scratch.
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But when you came back to your bedroom two hours later, it was empty. You didn’t expect to see Feyd because he had his other duties to perform on that day. What worried you was the fact you couldn’t find your cat. After crawling all over the floor like a madwoman, trying to see if he was not hiding under any furniture, you just burst into tears in the middle of the carpet. You were sure that Feyd had spotted the scratch and gotten rid of your cat. After all, he had threatened to do so on the very first day of your marriage.
You pulled your knees to your chest and rested your forehead on them as you sobbed, hugging yourself. You could only blame yourself. Your parents had been warning you about the Harkonnens but you still wanted a man like Feyd-Rautha as your husband. Hoping to tame him as it would boost your spoiled ego even further to do that. And now your innocent little kitty was a victim of his fury. Was Mephisto still alive? You hoped so. But even if… how would he survive on Giedi Prime? He would not. And you would not either without him. He was your anchor.
You didn’t want to complain about your husband’s homeplanet because you chose him to be your husband yourself. And some part of you loved him – even though at the moment you weren’t so sure anymore – but it was not a friendly place. And it was not pleasant. It was cold and scary and colourless. Mephisto was reminding you of home. Of your other kittens, of your parents, of the real sunlight. He was also letting you love him like your husband would never do. And he was loving you back… unconditionally. And now he was gone. Your little baby.
You couldn’t tell for how long you had been sobbing like this. It could be hours. When Feyd came back to your chambers, he froze at the sight of you in such a position on the carpet.
“What happened, wife?” He asked as he stood above you. You didn’t answer, too angry at him. He sighed and crouched down to be on your level. “Are you hurt?” 
“Yes, I am,” you finally looked at him, furiously. He seemed to be surprised. “I am hurt by what you have done. And now you’re going to pretend that you don’t know what I’m talking about, right? Go to hell. I hate you,” you snapped and hid your face again.
“I don’t understand. Can you explain this to me?” He asked, slowly, trying not to snap back at you.
“Mephisto! You got rid of him!” You sobbed.
“What? I have not…” He stuttered and put his arms on your shoulders to make you look up again. So you did but you were as angry as before.
“Don’t lie to me. You hated that cat and you just threw him away because he scratched your desk. Congratulations, Feyd-Rautha, you got rid of an innocent animal, you won with a sinless little baby; my baby. Are you proud of yourself? Was it a satisfying victory to hurt a little kitty?”
Feyd didn’t answer, he was staring at you as if you were crazy.
“It really feels as if you killed my baby,” you told him. “And I will never forgive you.”
“What are you talking about? I didn’t touch him. What happened?” Feyd shook your arms.
“He’s not here. I don’t know what you’ve done to him but he’s not here,” you sniffled.
“I didn’t do anything!” He protested.
“I don’t believe you!” You moved back, you hated to feel his touch on you. You clumsily stood up and curled on the bed. “I don’t want to see you. Go away. I wanted to love you but you’re rotten to the core. You’re just evil. Unlovable,” you muttered.
You couldn’t know how hurtful your words were. But Feyd didn’t blame you because you couldn’t know his true feelings. And he focused more on Mephisto anyway. He was worried about the kitty, too. So, after a while of staring at you without a word, he put his hand on his hip and looked around, as if he would magically find the cat. He even looked under the bed as your sobs filled the room.
Without a word, Feyd left the bedroom and you hugged your own arms as the pillow under your head was getting wet from your tears. 
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It was dark already and you were half asleep when the doors opened again. It brought you back from the state of slumber but you felt too hopeless to even lift a hand to turn on the light. You recognised Feyd’s silhouette approaching you so you decided to ignore him completely. Nothing could fix this damage. Never.
You felt him sitting on the edge of the bed while turning the bedside lamp on. You squinted your eyes at the sudden brightness.
“I found him,” Feyd’s whisper made your eyes open as you sat up rapidly, utterly shocked at the sight of Mephisto in your husband’s arms.
“Wh-what?” You asked. At first, your sleepy and foggy brain refused to believe that the cat was really your Mephisto.
“He was hiding in the dungeons,” Feyd explained. “I searched through the whole fortress to find him. Hired half of the guards to help me. My uncle found it hilarious,” Feyd handed you the kitty and you sobbed out of relief. Mephisto was stinking but he was alive and healthy. You hugged him tight to your chest. “One of the servants was not cautious enough and left the doors ajar when she was cleaning here.”
“Which one?” You asked, angrily.
“It doesn’t matter. I have dealt with her already,” Feyd assured you and you nodded.
You suddenly began to feel guilty for the way you had treated your husband before. Now, when Mephisto was back in your arms and it was all thanks to Feyd…
“I didn’t expect you to care so much,” you admitted, not wanting to look up and meet his gaze. Your hands focused on caressing the cat. “That you didn’t want me to be sad.”
“You’re my wife of free choice. I don’t want my wife to be sad,” Feyd nodded. “And I wanted the cat back,” he added. You eventually looked up at him, surprised by his confession.
“You hate him,” you reminded him.
“Not at all,” Feyd smirked nervously and you didn’t say anything to that. You had no idea that he actually liked the cat. You still had a lot to learn when it came to the ways in which your husband would show his affection.
“I was cruel to you,” you whispered. “I am sorry.”
“You had your reasons to be,” he only said. “And you were not wrong about me.”
“I was,” you moved to the side gently, making a space in bed for him to lay there, too.
So he did, without a word. And one of his hands actually caressed Mephisto’s head. The cat began to purr and you realised they had already had a bond that you had just not noticed before.
Hesitantly, you dared to raise one of your hands, too. You gently brushed Feyd’s forehead and then his cheek. He didn’t startle this time and you happily began to explore every curve of his beautiful face with your fingertips.
“You’re funny,” you giggled and he looked up, curiously. “You’re the scariest Harkonnen but you’re also the prettiest,” you admitted and he blushed a little. You had never expected to see him blush. “And look at you, you allow me to touch you.”
“It feels good when you do that,” Feyd closed his eyes just like Mephisto had his own pair shut close. You swore, if your husband was an actual animal, he would start purring under your touch.
You felt proud of yourself to tame him. You had known from the moment you had seen him that you would succeed. But it was not the pride that made your heart swell. It was love. There was something about Feyd-Rautha that just made you want to treat him like a kitty, too. Scratch him behind his ear and let him sleep on your chest. Most ladies would call you insane for that but you knew him in a way they would never know him. You leaned in to place a kiss upon Mephisto’s forehead and then you did the same to Feyd-Rautha.
“I’m sorry I have doubted you,” you whispered to him. “You would never hurt me, am I right?”
He only hummed in response, moving even closer to your body. You smiled to yourself.
“I have tamed you, husband, have I not?”
But he didn’t reply. He was already asleep, snoring lightly. You had never seen his face so relaxed and carefree before. He didn’t have to say anything for you to know the answer.
And as much as you loved Mephisto like your own little baby… You had a new favourite pet now.
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MASTERLIST
757 notes · View notes
enkas-illusion · 4 months
Text
What’s a Jumpscare?
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Fandom / Pairing: Jujutsu Kaisen / Geto Suguru x f!reader
Rating: NSFW/Explicit - MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
Genre/Theme: Roommates to lovers type beat; non-sorcery au
Content warning: fluff, pure smut, oral (f and m.receiving), explicit sexual content, squirting, overstimulation, language, angst, Suguru is crass with his words, kinda jealous and possessive Suguru.
Summary: What’s the rational thing to do in the middle of the night when you’re scared shitless after watching a horror movie? It’s to call your flatmate Suguru to your room to sleep next to you. Being the nice roommate that he is, he’s more than happy to provide you with a solid distraction.
Author's Note: Porn with a plot but you really have to squint your eyes to find the plot honestly. I have no justification for this hehe. Thank you for reading, hope you enjoy it! 
~ Eren’s Birdie
Song Dedication: Freak by Lana Del Rey
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“What am I? A child? Fear doesn't exist in this household!”
.
.
.
That’s the embarrassing thing about overestimating yourself. One moment you’re boasting about your ability to endure jumpscares without flinching and the next, you’re sealing the ends of your blanket with your feet, hoping it’d protect you from imaginary ghosts.
As you bite your nails, waiting for your flatmate to answer the call, you feel embarrassed at how much of a wuss you’re gonna seem in front of him after talking big about not being one of the scaredy cats.
“Hello?” you hear his confused voice on the other end, laced with a hint of concern at you calling him in the middle of the night.
“Hi, Sugu,” you speak timidly, knowing you’re going to have to butter him up to get him to comply with your request. But before you can continue, you hear a mocking chuckle on the other end.
“Awww… look who’s scared shitless after bragging about being a horror movie connoisseur,” he teases.
“Pleaseee, come to my room,” you plead and you’re surprised when he agrees quickly before hanging up. But the emotion is soon replaced with dread when you realise that this is one of his rare golden opportunities to tease the hell out of you and Geto Suguru isn’t one to let it slide.
When he arrives, he doesn’t knock but slides your room door slowly so that the hinges creak eerily as it opens. His form almost blending into the dark hallway behind him, highlighted by your room’s awfully bright light.
“Suguru please, this is exactly why I did not want to call you here,” you complain as he smiles slyly, walking in before closing the door behind him.
“Then what did you call me here for?”
“Sleep here tonight,” you request, patting the space next to you on your bed.
“At least have the decency to ask me out on a date first.”
“That’s not– you know that’s not how I mean it!” you sigh.
“Be for real, this is all just a ruse to get me in your bed,” he snorts, leaning against the door with his hands crossed at his chest.
You roll your eyes and want to talk back at him but you remember that your scared ass doesn’t really have the upper hand here. You sigh again, “I’ll hold your pinky finger max…  just so that I know I’m not alone in the room.” 
“Holding hands? That’s like third base for you, babe,” he walks closer till he’s standing at the edge of the bed.
You pout at him and he bends forward in front of you, resting his palms on the edge of the mattress. “Did your dear friend not reply?” he teases you about your fuck buddy Marco but you decide not to react.
“Tease me all you want but please just get in!” you groan.
“Just sleep with the lights on,” he says dryly. 
“I can’t fall asleep with the lights on but I’m too anxious to turn them off,” you reason, leaning forward to touch his bicep gently, hoping he’d be kind and understanding of your predicament.
“Just cover your head with the blanket?” He climbs into bed, sitting on the edge.
“Too suffocating. If you’ll be here, I’ll feel safe and sound,” you pout, trying hard not to smile at how he’s already complying to your request. 
“I sleep naked.”
You suck in a breath to weigh your options. You know he’s just teasing but oh well, a distraction wouldn’t hurt, “I’ll allow shirtless.”
He takes his t-shirt off in an instant, throwing it to the floor before settling in next to you.
“Never miss a chance to make me uncomfortable…” you mumble as you try your best not to ogle at his abs. 
“We both know you enjoy this, princess,” he smiles insincerely and you roll your eyes at him before turning to the side to reach the light switch near the bedside. Just as you turn the lights off, you feel a hand grab one of your ankles tightly and yank it roughly, causing you to let out a shriek as your body stumbles onto the mattress.
You hear Suguru laugh next to you as you turn to see his faint silhouette illuminated by the soft moonlight peeping through the window.
“Who does that!?” you scold him as you slap his chest repeatedly. 
“Me!” he grabs your wrists to stop your attacks and instead wraps his arms around you. He falls back onto the mattress, caging you snugly into his arms so that your torso is almost on top of his.
“Suguru, I doubt this is a comfortable position to sleep in,” you wriggle into his arms as you free yourself to fall to the side, creating distance between your bodies as promised, holding only his index finger to maintain contact. A few minutes pass by in silence before you hear a sudden draft escaping the gaps of the window, making an eerie sound, causing you to hiss out a quiet ‘fuck’ as your hand readjusts to intertwine your fingers with his.
“If all you wanted to do was make noises instead of sleep, I could’ve done a much better job than a horror film,” he speaks softly as he untangles his fingers from yours.
You turn your head to look at his face, eyes searching his in the darkness, “Suguru, please stop teas–”
“Shhh, I’m just trying to get comfortable,” he interrupts and you feel his body turn to the side and towards you. His hand snakes around your waist as he pulls you into his warmth till your back is against his chest. This makes you giggle as you place your hand over his on your waist, fingers interlacing once again.
“Is this safe enough, madam?” His voice is playful but the way his hot breath fans the crook of your neck is far from funny. It’s as if the fear that had preoccupied your mind had suddenly started to lift, leaving behind a sudden sense of awareness. You suddenly feel hyper aware of the position you’re currently in with your attractive, not to mention shirtless, roommate. 
You simply hum instead of speaking, not wanting your voice to betray you and expose the way you’re secretly enjoying the way his body feels against yours. For a second, you wonder how this type of stuff only happens in cheesy fictional movies or steamy romance novels. But on second thought, it might as well just be a well orchestrated happenstance – two adults willing to compromise on a rational way of solving things; and instead acting on their unbridled desire for each other, testing how far they can bend till one of them breaks.
That can never be you. You’ve taken an L as it is for one night, so if someone was going to break, it had to be him. You readjust your body to ‘get comfortable’, moving your hips slightly back till your ass is resting snugly against his crotch. However, when you don't get a reaction out of him, you abandon the idea just as quickly, creating some distance once again.
“Good night, Suguru,” you speak softly as you close your eyes, absentmindedly rubbing soft circles on the back of his hand while trying to understand how his brain works–you could’ve sworn the tension between you and him was real, so why was he acting so aloof?
You don't have to wonder much when you feel him move closer till you feel his bulge poke at your ass, causing you to halt your movement. Instead, Suguru's hand frees from under yours and dips under your t-shirt, fingers caressing dangerously close to your breasts. When you press your hips further back against him, he lets out a dry chuckle.
“Thought you were only going to hold a finger,” he mocks as his nose nudges behind your ear.
“This is a far better distraction,” you hum as you lift your hand up, moving it behind till your fingers are burrowed in his free raven locks. 
“Is that what I am to you? Just a distraction?” his hand cups your boobs, fondling with the soft flesh, earning a satisfactory hum from you.
“No, you’re my dear roomie too,” you tease as you twist your head to look back at him, but your effort is in vain due to the darkness.
“Ahh, right! Just a roomie… that you keep on trying to seduce?”
“Whatever do you mean?” you pout as your hand moves to caress his cheek. He pinches your hardened nipple and it causes you to let out a quiet gasp.
“Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about… roaming around the house without a bra… your nipples poking through the awfully thin fabric of your t-shirts,” his words make the heat rush to your cheeks as you feel his lips graze your neck and you close your eyes at the feeling.
“You roam around shirtless too.”
“That’s different.”
“Sure… seems to me that you’re the pervert here. C-can’t I be comfortable at my own place?” you tease but your voice comes out breathless as your brain is stuck on the way Suguru is playing with your nipples.
“Hmm… I'm trying to do just that… get you more comfortable,” Suguru bites your shoulder lightly as his hand moves down to dip into your sweatpants.
“Such a considerate roomie–mmh,” you swallow your words when he rubs your mound from over your underwear, “... what would I do without you, Sugu.”
You grab his hair to pull his face away from your shoulder before twisting your body further to kiss him on the lips. Your lips miss the mark and land on the corner of his mouth. He lets out a snort at this and brings his hand up to squeeze your cheeks before kissing you right.
His tongue slides into your mouth, swirling against your own and alternating it with soft tugs at your bottom lip. Suguru’s such a good kisser that you feel lightheaded when he breaks the kiss to allow you both catch your breaths. You can make out his outline as he moves away from you, making his way to your corner of the bed to turn the light on.
“Too bright!” you cover an arm over your eyes, scrunching your face at the sudden change.
“I want to see you,” he states calmly as he straddles you, fingers sliding the fabric of your t-shirt up to expose your belly.
“The lamp has enough light,” you stop his movement and motion him to move towards the bedside table. 
He rolls his eyes but obeys as he makes his way to switch the bright tube light with the soft orange light of the lamp, “You could’ve easily fallen asleep in this dim light… you just wanted a reason to get me in your bed, huh?”
“Well, I really was scared,” you pout, making him laugh as he turns back to look at you.
“Yeah rig–” his words get caught in his throat when his eyes land on your bare chest.
“Would you rather go back to your room?” you tilt your head slightly as you toss your t-shirt to the ground before tracing your fingers gently over your rock-hard nipples. If Suguru had any other thoughts in his mind before that moment, the slate is wiped completely clean when he sees the way your dainty fingers dance over your skin, luring him in like a siren to a sailor. 
“That ship sailed the moment you asked me to get in your bed,” he leans over you till you’re lying flat on your back and wets his lips as his eyes shamelessly fixate on your exposed tits. Without wasting another second, he dips his head down to suck on one tit while his fingers play with the other.
Your hands find their way to his hair as you let out soft hums, closing your eyes to enjoy the way his tongue feels on your sensitive skin. 
He moves further down, leaving wet smooches over your belly but his movements come to a halt when his eyes land on your belly button.
“Is this new?” He asks, causing you to open your eyes and you find him eyeing the tiny ring piercing that's barely visible unless seen up close.
You shake your head, “You just never got to see it.”
“I knew you were a freak,” he leans down to kiss over it, “those innocent, doe eyes might trick others but they never fooled me.”
“But isn't that why you’re so hard, baby? Cause you like them freaky?” You shoot back as you hook one leg around his waist to tug the waistband of his sweats down with your toes. He grabs your ankle, peeling it away from him and pinning it down to the bed.
He simply gives you a devilish smile before leaning down to graze the silver metal piercing with his teeth, pulling at it playfully. In that moment, your body's reaction is beyond your control as you let out a whimper, goosebumps covering the entire expanse of your skin.
You bring your hands up to your chest to play with your nipples, back arching when his wet tongue licks a strip down your belly. He hooks his fingers into your waistband before pulling them down your legs along with your underwear.
“Fucking hell Suguru,” you moan when you feel two fingers opening your puffy folds, dragging over the surface to spread your wet juices around.
“Yes, princess?” He looks up to meet your eyes and he can feel the blood rushing to his dick, making it harder than ever. He thinks he might as well cum by just looking at your already fucked out expressions while your fingers greedily play with your tits.
“I want your tongue… please eat me out,” your request is almost a breathy whisper. 
“Hmm, what do I get in return?” He wonders, fingers rubbing soft circles over your clit.
“I'll suck you off–”
“No.”
“Please… fuck– what then?” Your voice grows impatient as rut your hips up to feel more of his fingers.
“I want you to stop calling that fucker over whenever you're horny,” his voice is so stern that it actually makes you focus on what he's saying. 
Your eyebrows furrow at this as you stop playing with yourself to sit up on your elbows to get a better look at his face, “Who? Marco? I don't underst–”
“What's so hard to understand, dummy? I'm fucking sick of hearing you scream someone else’s name at nights when I know I could fuck you much better than that guy,” Suguru's tone is calm, yet he has to grit his teeth to keep his cool.
He didn't have to ask – in your mind it was already a given – what could possibly be better than having your unbelievably attractive flatmate make you his. No other men could ever compare moving forward. 
Yet you want to push his buttons, like you always do, “hmm… I don’t know about that, Sugu. He’s really good with his tongue...”
“Is that the game you really wanna play?” He groans as he spreads your thighs open, nestling himself between your legs. He dips his head down till it is just inches away from your core, “Well, then… be my fucking guest.”
You bite your lip to keep yourself from grinning too hard – it was so fucking easy to rile him up. His tongue is quick to latch onto your pussy, causing you to let out a soft moan at the sudden contact.
Your body melts back down onto the mattress as you bring your hands down to play with his hair. He licks a strip up to your clit before moving back down to dip his tongue into your hole. As he begins to alter the pressure of his tongue, your thighs twitch involuntarily.
“Oh god– Suguru, right ther– nghh,” you push his head further down to bury his face against you completely. Suguru smiles at you as he lifts his head up slightly before letting the spit on his tongue trickle down to your hole and you can feel your insides clutching around nothing. 
You lean your head back and shut your eyes tight when you feel his fingers spread his spit around your entrance. He takes you by surprise when he suddenly shoves two of his thick fingers into your cunt. The moan that escapes your lips next is vile to say the least and you bring your hand up to muffle it.
“No… don’t act shy now, baby. Let me hear your pretty voice,” he growls and you feel his other hand come up to yank yours away from your mouth as he begins fucking you with his fingers.
You nod your head desperately with your eyes still closed and whimper at his words, but it doesn’t take long before you’re cussing out lewd profanities when his tongue plays with your clit at the same time he begins to pump his fingers inside you faster. 
“Suguru, y-you’re so good,” you stutter out praises as you feel your mind numbing at the sensation, getting closer to your orgasm. Your back arches off the bed when you feel him suck on your bud, adding a third finger into your hole.
“Oh my— yesyesyes,” you cry as your body twitches under him. You’re so close, you can almost feel yourself breaking. You bring your shaky hand to his hair again as you look down to find his eyes fixed on your face. Your eyebrows knit, the intensity of his gaze making you feel vulnerable and exposed.
“Sugu– I’m so clo–” you halt mid-sentence when he pulls away completely, causing your build-up to drop suddenly. You whine as you hook your legs around his torso, “Suguru! What the fuck?”
“Aww, sorry baby. Were you about to cum?” His tone is condescending. He holds up his hand to examine the wet coat of your juices glistening on his fingers, “Maybe you can call Marco over to finish the job?”
“Suguru, stop being so cruel,” you huff as you tug at his hand to pull him closer. 
“You’re the cruel one here… expecting me to share what’s mine,” he moves up to kiss you on the lips and your moans are muffled by his tongue when his fingers part your folds once again, making your hips twitch.
“Please, I was only teasing. You’re the only one I want,” you beg, out of breath when he releases your lips.
“Is that so?” his hot breath fans your face. You nod desperately, clawing at his forearm to get him to move his hand once again.
“So, no more Marco? You’ll break all contact with that fucker?” he asks but it’s a rhetorical question anyway. 
“Only you, Suguru,” you agree nonetheless as you lean your head up to kiss him once again.
“That’s a good girl. See how easy it was?” he smirks as his head moves down to your neck to suck on your skin roughly. Your brain goes dumb when he finds your sweet spot, you bring your hands to his shoulders all the while chanting his name when his fingers start fucking into you again.
You squirm under him as his bodyweight restricts your movement. When he feels your pussy flutter around his fingers, he’s quick to make his way back down to stimulate your clit with his tongue. You root your feet into the mattress, your hips thrusting up as your muscles twitch again.
“Keep going, fuck–Suguru” you cry as you grip his hair with one hand while your other hand pinches one of your nipples. The pressure in your core releases as soon as it builds when your orgasm breaks through you. Your legs fall limply to the sides but your abdomen still twitches as Suguru continues to lap at your juices.
You feel way too sensitive as his ruthless tongue and fingers begin to overstimulate you. You yank at his hair to warn him but he doesn’t budge.
“Suguru, too much–ahh!” your body twitches violently and he presses his other hand over your lower belly to keep you from moving too much. As you shiver under his touch, you can feel the coil building up in your stomach – it happens before you even realise it and you squirt all over his face.
You cry his name out loud, tears escaping your eyes as your body falls limp and you feel as if you’ve lost all strength. Suguru pulls his fingers out as he sits up between your legs, sucking his fingers clean before pushing the loose strands of his hair back.
Your chest heaves and you see the way his face shines due to the wetness. You bring a foot up to his chest, pushing him till he’s leaning back slightly, “You’re the freak here, Suguru.”
“Never said I wasn’t,” he smiles as he rests his palms onto the mattress, leaning back and spreading his legs open. You sit up and lean forward as you hook your hands into the waistband of his pants to pull them down along with his boxers. He lifts his hips up slightly and his dick springs free when you pull the garments down, discarding them to the side.
You lean down closer to his dick, your pussy fluttering when you see how perfect his size is – length as well as girth wise. Suguru has the prettiest dick you’ve ever seen and it looks even prettier with the precum leaking from the slit. You move your thumb over the angry tip, sliding the foreskin further down.
You smile at him innocently before focusing back down as your tongue licks over the head, wetting it further with your saliva. Suguru feels like he’s about to lose his shit at this, his dick throbbing painfully in your hands.
A guttural groan escapes his lips when he feels you take his length into your mouth till his tip is hitting the back of your throat. Your left hand moves under to fondle his balls while your right hand gently claws at his thigh. He runs a hand through your hair when you start bobbing your head over his cock.
“Shit– take it in, princess,” his voice strains as he grabs your hair to push your head further down. You let out a muffled groan when you gag slightly.
You pick up your pace and he doesn't know if it's because he's been hard for an awfully long time or if you’re clouding his senses, taking over every thought but he comes undone quickly.
When you rub the base tightly while letting his tip hit the back of your throat in a repeated motion, you feel his dick twitch.
“Fuc– baby, I'm cumming,” he moans as he tries to warn you, tugging at your hair gently but you maintain a steady rhythm, making him shoot his hot liquid in your mouth.
You slow down to pull away from his dick and look up to find Suguru leaning back, resting his weight on his elbows. His eyebrows furrow when he sees the way a string of saliva connects his dick to your glistening lips. He closes his eyes shut as his head falls back limply – he thinks it's impossible to get hard so quickly again after a good head but his body is hell-bent on proving him wrong.
You wipe your lips with the back of your hand as you sit up and giggle at his state. He opens one eye to look at you lazily, chest still heaving lightly.
“You're welcome, Suguru. That is what a real considerate roomie does,” you tease as you straddle his lap, leaning forward to leave soft kisses over his pecs. Your arms rest on his shoulders as you move up to his neck, biting and sucking on his skin.
“Mmh… you’re so fucking cute,” Suguru huffs as he brings his hand up to your face, guiding you to look up at him, “fuck...the things I want to do to you.”
“What do you want to do to me?” You question as you take his thumb in your mouth, sucking on it lightly before releasing it.
“This,” he says as he wraps his arm around your waist to scoot you up till your chest is flush against his, pulling you in for a kiss. The kiss is hungry, passionate and desperate and your arms wrap around his neck and you moan into his mouth when you feel two of Suguru's fingers glide over your folds to part them.
“... and this,” he mumbles between kisses and you feel him graze his tip near your entrance. He pauses briefly as he pulls back from the kiss, “Where do you keep the condoms?” 
You shake your head no, “birth control,” you mumble before pulling him back in to continue your kiss. You're pretty sure you feel his lips curve up in a smile briefly before he shoves his tongue into your mouth.
His hand is quick to reposition his dick, lining it up at your entrance as his other hand wraps around your waist to lift your hips up slightly. 
Your pussy flutters in excitement when his tip enters your hole. He breaks the kiss to look down where your bodies meet, placing both his hands firmly on your hips, fingers digging into your flesh as he guides your body down onto him slowly.
You whimper as you feel his fat cock impale your walls, resting your forehead against his shoulder while your hands caress his biceps. When he's filled you up to the hilt, he holds you steady, letting you adjust to his size.
“Sugu–”
“And this,” he whispers as he lifts your hips up with ease before slamming you down onto his cock in one swift motion. Your nails dig into his skin at this and you scream his name, your brain going numb when his pace fastens.
“Yes yes, right th– ahh,” your voice is slurry as you bite into the skin of his shoulder to keep yourself from losing your sanity completely– as if that were still an option. 
“S-stop squeezing me so tight,” he sighs when your walls twitch around him. You bury your face into his neck, whimpering at the sensation as his tip kisses the right spot each time he shoves deep into you.
Suguru loosens his grip around your waist as he slows down and it's only then that you realise just how tight his hold was. But the thought slips your mind just as quickly as it arrives when he lies you down till your back is on the mattress with him on top of you.
With his dick still buried deep inside you, he readjusts your legs to hook them over his shoulders and folding you in half as he towers over you.
His lips meet yours as he pins your arms down to your sides, intertwining his fingers with yours. It's a simple act but it has you feeling butterflies in your stomach.
“I want you…” he bites your lower lip lightly before releasing it, “...so bad...”
You hum into the kiss at his sweet nothings, not really being able to focus on the words he's spilling between kisses. You feel lightheaded – the way he kisses you softly is soon contrasted by the rough thrusts of his hips as he begins to pound into you mercilessly.
You cry against his lips as tears escape your eyes at how deliciously he's filling you up. Suguru kisses your cheek hastily before moving down to your neck to decorate your skin with his markings.
“Oh–mmph– god, Suguru,” you sob as he picks up his pace. You feel your mind going blank with each thrust – in that moment, you have nothing in your thoughts expect for Suguru and his cock.
Your moans get a pitch higher when he brings a hand down to play with your clit. It's the tipping point for you when his fingers and dick work in unison to bring you closer to your release.
You feel your pussy flutter around his length and he groans into your neck once again. He knows he won't last much long so he maintains a steady rhythm, rubbing your clit in a way that's eliciting a chain of lewd moans from you.
Your body convulses violently, his body weight on top of yours holds you in place as you reach your orgasm. Within seconds, you hear him hiss cusses into your ear as his dick twitches inside you and his cum paints your walls. Your vision gets blurry and you close your eyes, your breathing gets ragged as your body melts onto the bed and you’re pretty sure you would've passed out if not for Suguru’s sloppy thrusts coming to a gradual stop. He slides your legs down his shoulders gently and you let them slump to the sides.
“Baby, you good?” His breath fans your face and you look at him with half-lidded eyes. You let out a tired chuckle at the concerned look on his face. You simply nod at him as you slowly bring your hands up to hook them around his neck, playing with the hair on his nape.
“Let's get you cleaned up,” he kisses your nose, “then you can rest all you want.” 
You pull him in for a lazy kiss and he obliges, wanting to relish in this moment a little bit longer.
~
You don't remember how you fell asleep but when you wake up to the almost blaring sound of your doorbell ringing, you find your body impossibly closer to his. Your face is almost buried in his chest with your arms and legs tangled with his, caging you into his whole being.
You pull away softly, wondering how you even managed to fall asleep in such an awkward position. You lean forward to kiss his forehead but move back in a haste when you hear the bell ring again, quietly getting out of the bed.
Putting on your pants and t-shirt, you make your way out of your room and to the main door.
Your surprise is evident on your face when you spot Marco standing in front of you.
“Hey…” you greet him, already feeling a weird sense of embarrassment creeping over you.
“Did I wake you up? I thought you’d be awake by now,” he checks his phone for the time.
“No… I slept in a bit since I couldn’t fall asleep after watching that scary film,” you confess, your brain working in full force to come up with the right words to break the news to him. 
He's still standing in the doorway since you haven't really invited him in so he tries his best to do some damage control, “Are you upset about yesterday? I'm sorry for kinda bailing on you last night.”
Right, if Marco had been there for movie night, you wouldn't have called Suguru when you felt alone and scared. But it didn't matter much as what had happened since was way more intense than your fuck buddy missing yet another movie night.
Before you have a chance to speak, you hear a voice from behind, “Oh, no worries, you weren't missed.” 
You turn to see Suguru walking towards you shirtless, in only his sweats. It wasn't out of the ordinary for Suguru to be so unwelcoming towards Marco but what surprised the guy were the hickeys on your flatmate's chest on full display.
And if Marco wasn't smart enough to connect the pieces together already, Suguru snaking an arm over your waist from behind and leaving a quick peck on your cheek, all while wishing the guy a ‘good morning’ was enough to make everything crystal clear. 
You give Suguru a side eye as you chuckle nervously, “Suguru, please give us a minute.”
“Ok, don’t take too long, baby,” he slaps your ass playfully but his eyes stay on Marco, almost taunting him with a cocky smile.
When Suguru walls back inside, you scratch the back of your nape awkwardly, “Sooo…”
“It’s fine, whatever. I just wish you’d told me about it before I embarrassed myself like this,” Marco shoots back, trying not to sound bitter but failing miserably.
“I’m so sorry. You have nothing to be embarrassed about… I'm the one who should be embarrassed,” you ramble as you observe his face for a change of expressions, “Would you like to come in?”
“Doubt that's a good idea,” his tone is cold.
“Right… are we cool? No hard feelings?” you ask.
“Nah, we were just fucking, that’s all– just don’t expect me to keep on being your friend now.”
“Oh, okay, I wasn't going to… guess this is it then?” you speak just as formally, getting slightly annoyed at his entitled tone.
“Yeah,” he lets out a dry chuckle before curtly nodding and leaving.
You close the door and swiftly walk to where Suguru is sitting on the sofa. He's grinning at you, extending an arm out towards you.
“Don't even try! I'm so embarrassed…” you scold him, “I wanted to break it to him gently!”
He simply shrugs before motioning you to get closer to him. You roll your eyes but nonetheless obey as you move closer till you’re standing in front of him. 
You cover your face with your hands, your muffled voice speaking, “That almost felt like an awkward breakup that 12 year olds have after calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend for a week…”
“Good… you can't be having two boyfriends at once,” he snorts as he wraps his arms around your waist to pull you closer, resting his forehead against your belly.
You grab him by the hair to pull his face away gently to look him in the eyes, “Wait, you want us to date?”
He nods as he chuckles at your surprised reaction, “You really are a clueless one. Yes, I want us to date… besides, I don’t just let random hookups squirt on my face.”
You shove his face away as you groan in embarrassment, “Stopppp.”
“Never. That was the highlight of the night for me– second only to the way your pretty little cunt fluttered around my dick,” he pulls you closer to kiss your belly from over the fabric. 
“Suguru, you have such a dirty mouth,” you push him away but he doesn't bug, further tightening his grip on your waist.
“It’s cause you like it dirty,” he pulls you down till you’re straddling his lap. You giggle when his hands move under your t-shirt to flick your already hardened nipples.
You hold onto his shoulders as you move closer to close the gap between your bodies as you kiss him.
“So?” He moves away to kiss your cheek, “Go out…” another peck on your nose, “...on a date…” next on your jaw, “...with me?” before kissing your forehead lovingly, “Please?”
You pull back to ponder over the question for a moment and the familiar butterflies reappear.
“Okay,” you nod, blushing as he nuzzles his face into your neck, “I'd like that a lot.”
“Okay… celebratory sex.” he exclaims as he bites your skin, making it tingle.
“No! I’m really sore!” you complain.
“Just one round, I'll be gentle,” he presses.
“Have some mercy on your poor girlfriend!” you coo as you lean back.
“Not if you talk like that… you’re only gonna make me hard,” he chuckles as he rubs his thumb over your bottom lip.
“Suguru!” you pout. He laughs as he leans forward to give you a quick peck.
“Ok fine… then, breakfast?” he asks and you nod. You hook your legs around his waist as he gets up with ease, making his way to the kitchen. You giggle when he squeezes your ass as he walks.
“Don't think you’re getting off that easily. I'm only letting you relax now so that I can fuck you later after our date tonight,” he places you onto to kitchen counter.
“Ah, so considerate!” you roll your eyes before kissing his cheek, your fingers tracing the outline of his chest gently. Your eyes meet and you stare at each other in silence. You crinkle your face at how cheesy the moment seems, splaying your palm over his face to break his intense gaze.
“Fuck– are you sure… at least just let me eat you out… nothing else,” he groans and you feel his dick poke against your inner thigh.
“Suguru!” You complain but you break into a fit of laughter at how adorable he seems like this, a side you hadn’t seen before today.
“Okay, okay, fine!” He rolls his eyes before cupping your face, “one kiss and then I'm gonna make you something delicious.” 
“Sure,” you laugh before wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him in for another heart-fluttering kiss.
~fin~
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aestherin · 1 year
Text
— KEEP MY HEART ♡
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scaramouche x f!reader social media au
SUMMARY — you find plenty of guys around you attractive, but there is only one you’re willing to make the first move on: the guy you first saw during your older brother’s soccer game. spoiler: he's a player from your rival university.
status: on-going | taglist: closed
genres: social media au, college au, strangers to lovers, crack, fluff, a sprinkle of angst (?), modern au, i wanted to do smth chill haha
extras: playlist — [click here] 🤍
author's notes:
omg 2nd smau is here!!
updates may be inconsistent, i don't have a posting schedule
again, idk what i'm doing haha
english is not my first language so expect grammatical and typographical errors (bear with me please :"D)
will contain swearing
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PLAYERS.
— SL4YERS — the reds — the blued
SCOREBOARD.
game start ! (prologue)
— FIRST HALF
goal 01. i feel something ¬ goal 02. live a good life goal 03. let's play chess ¬ goal 04. do you like cats goal 05. a proof to your claim ¬ goal 06. am i being rejected goal 07. my baby ¬ goal 08. happy birthday goal 09. do you like sweets ¬ goal 10. i'm loyal, sir goal 11. my name ¬ goal 12. ghosted goal 13. unbothered ¬ goal 14. stupid is the new sexy goal 15. call me baby ¬ goal 16. i'm taking you out goal 17. kuni
— HALF TIME
goal 18. i can teach you ¬ goal 19. one thing goal 20. home ¬ goal 21. available for sale goal 22. my money, my choice ¬ goal 23. are you cold? goal 24. note to self ¬ goal 25. tba goal 26. it was boring ¬ goal 27. curiosity is killing me goal 28. tba ¬ goal 29. tba goal 30. tba ¬ goal 31. tba goal 32. tba ¬ goal 33. tba goal 34. tba ¬ goal 35. tba
— SECOND HALF
tba
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TAGLIST I @lady-elodie @aiikalvr @lovely-althxa @unsterblich-prinz @xiaosonlybeloved @xiaomainlmao @cindywasneverhere @coquettemaiden @sunsethw4 @lunavixia @calickoh @arealistonao3 @lowkeyivorie @zyilas @mondaymelon @yukiipc @heartswonder @st0pthatsgay @ozzierenato @astreaa-express @shewolfmiko @lovelyycherries @myaaones @countessqin @aloveablechaos @letthewindlead @lunaavity @local-blueberry-boy @luminestars @layla240 @useless-potatho @atlaszi @alatusorrow @lahsram2201 @sakiimeo @user11918163805279 @vqazx @neigesprincess @kunicrush @yoursockstinks @hotgirlshit5 @mikctp @crucnhice @apotatouwu @yuaenri @sammybeefangirls @miko1ly @deffenferofjustice @etherisy @sagegreenthinks
i cant mention more than 50 people in one post so the other taglists will be in the reblogs instead!! 🤍
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