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xxsycamore · 10 months

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𝐍𝐚𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐨𝐧 𝐆𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐞

↬ 👖 Napoleon has a little problem dressing up for a date in the 21st Century. Luckily, the mansion's residents are there to give him fashion advice, divided into team Sexy, team Defense, and team Cute.

Napoleon Bonaparte x MC, ft. all residents ( Leonardo, Mozart, Arthur, Isaac, Dazai, Comte, Sebastian, Jean, Theo, Vincent, Shakespeare) • rating: G • tags: Humor; Crack; Dress Up • wordcount: 1,797 • masterlist

a/n: An early celebration for Napoleon's upcoming birthday, with the prompt Napo Style from my Napoleon Birthday Celebration 2023 event! Enjoy the chaos!

Thanks to The Door at Comte's mansion being fixed and thus allowing a safe trip through the time and space continuum, newer and cooler dating spots are now available for the mansion's lovebirds, Napoleon and MC! How exciting is that? The latter is especially enthusiastic about strolling the streets of 21st-century Paris and showing off her lover…

The former is currently losing his mind.

Because there is an hour left until they step into the vortex of time-traveling, and Napoleon has no idea how people in the future dress for a date. At all.

"This is a problem." Napoleon muses out loud as he paces back and forth in the mansion's lounge room. Of course, he's not alone there, in this house you never get a moment of privacy no matter where you are. Currently he shares his air with… Leonardo, Mozart, Arthur, Isaac, Dazai, Comte, Sebastian, Jean, Theo, Vincent, Shakespeare… wait, why are all of them here?! Even Shakespeare? Could it be that his worries are so prominently written on his face that the residents' gossip-meter was able to track it, and now they're bursting with curiosity?!

"Everything alright, Naps?" Arthur tests the waters, taking a noisy sip from his coffee.

"Yeah, you can always tell us if you have problems with your dating life. That's what friends are for." Theo chimes in, folding his arms in front of his chest.

"Problems with my dating life? No, it's just… I don't know how to dress up for the date. I thought that maybe I could just go with these clothes…?" Napoleon shrugs, fixing the lapels of his jacket.

"I strongly suggest you don't." Joins Mozart, closing the piano he was pretending to play as he listened in.

"Then what do I put on? MC will be ready in just a moment and she'll no doubt be stunning. Gods… Can any of you help me out?"

"We can."

"Alright old chap, come out whenever you're ready. Too bad that our team's idea is first and therefore it will put an early end to this fashion show." Arthur boasts confidently as he takes his place on the left along with his other team members, part of the Sexy team. As the curtain is dramatically swooshed to reveal Napoleon, the audience livens up in a cacophony of different murmurs…

Napoleon has no idea why the bunch targeted his favorite red curtain-- erm, cape, as the first thing to be removed from the outfit, but in a flash Napoleon sees it hanging from the staircase's railing and he understands. The small space behind the stairs becomes a makeshift changing booth… he does live with the smartest men in history after all. From there on, the smart ideas keep on coming as he steps behind the curtain and braces himself for accepting the various articles of clothing being handed to him to try on.

Napoleon poses awkwardly while trying to hide his attributes, the small cloth hiding his crouch area making it difficult as his pants have been reduced to just that, a loincloth that his trademark big belt holds together. His shirt too has suffered a massive reduction in length and now barely covers his chest, leaving his abs and stomach exposed, a similar thing done to his sleeves so the shirt now reminds more of a tank top of sorts. The golden epaulets from his jacket remain. His boots are untouched, at least. His look is completed with ruffled hair for a messier, sexier hairstyle.

"Ahem. As you may know, the 21st century is vastly different from our times in terms of dressing to impress… so to say, the meaning of that phrase is turned upside down!"

"Undress to impress!" With a finger in the air and a smile on his face, the most unlikely member of team Sexy, Vincent, hurries to add. Before Theo can collapse, Vincent backs up his (unbeknownst to him) scandalous vision with a little bit of his wisdom. "How nice that is, a world that celebrates the body instead of hiding it. Napoleon has a body that many would put on a canvas, and he should celebrate it!"

"Thank you, Vincent."

"Sebastian, why are YOU on this team?" Someone in the crowd asks.

Despite Arthur's confidence in winning this "competition", the other teams are more than eager to have their go in an attempt to beat his idea of modern fashion. After another round of handing stuff to the haphazardly changing behind the curtain Napoleon, a group of four residents get ready to present their idea.

With a perfect little nod, Sebastian says matter-of-factly, "Master Napoleon has a body that many would put on a canvas, and he should celebrate it."

With difficulty, a man in a knight's heavy full armor (that normally can be found in one of the hallways as a decoration) steps in front of the audience's eyes, who they can only assume is Napoleon, due to not a tad of his identity being visible underneath this "outfit".

As a leader of Team Defense, Jean turns to the audience to explain. "The modern world is filled with dangers we're unaware of. Napoleon should prioritize his safety," he eyes his teammate, Shakespeare, who is ready to take the word next: "As well as the safety of his beloved. Thus he clothes in steal and prepares a heavy blade, or a dozen; if the chance arises, he shall defeath all that's on his path, in the name of her!"

As Napoleon hears the signal, he demonstratively takes out a spear, a chain mace, a war hammer, a longsword…! The audience takes a step back.

"They're right. You never know what's out there. There might be cats." Theo nods approvingly, slapping Napoleon's armor as if to test its durability. The last member of team Defense, Mozart, is ready with his own argument.

"Everything there must be dirty. This will protect him from exposure."

Still, this can't end without the final third team showcasing their own unique idea of dressing up Napoleon. And besides, the mansion's daddy, Comte, being a leader of this team is enough to make everyone quiet down and pay attention.

It's a shockingly good argument.

"And finally, team Cute. Because you, my dears, are forgetting a key element of what our fashion show is about, and that is helping our Napoleon win his girl's heart all over again, in a different time, in a different world. We must look from the eyes of MC. And a lady like her, oh her heart surely sings at the sight of everything that can be called cute. She'll swoon and melt as she witnesses Napoleon embracing his inner adorableness; that is for sure!"

Without further ado, Napoleon steps forward, revealing his outfit that for some reason troubles his walking more than the armor from before… the reason might be the tight corset Comte put him in, one made for men nonetheless, but still making it hard for the soldier to act naturally wearing. Especially combined with those high-heeled boots! There's not a trace of any dark colors anywhere to be seen, from frilly innocent whites to sunny yellows to baby pinks, he's dolled up like a little prince from a fairytale. His hair which is the only color out of place, is densely covered in small hairclips, that are not exactly Comte's style, so there might be put there by…

"Napo-chan is so kawaii with the little hair accessories I put on him. I'm convinced MC won't resist kissing you all over."

"Why am I on this team?!" Laments Isaac, whose contribution is narrowed down to an apple he found laying around… surprisingly, posing with the apple does add cute points to Napoleon's look, as much as the physicist hates to admit. He's only on this team because he refused to join in the absurdity of the other two…

"They're right, Naps." Leonardo agrees with a hand on his chin. "I've heard cara-mia gush all over you being cute when you make a slip-up from your mister perfect persona. Be a little clumsier and clueless. She'll find it charming."

Napoleon hums and looks at the palms of his glove-clad hands, a little lost. "I'm, uhhh… not so sure what you mean."

"That's it, just like that."

"Okay, that's all, which team won?" Arthur asks impatiently, not very amused about the fact that his coffee mug is now empty.

"That's for Napoleon to decide. What do you think, Napoleon?"

Napoleon takes a look at all the faces lit up in expectation, and makes a "wait" gesture as he disappeared behind the curtain again. A few seconds later he is out, dressed in what appears to be an untouched replica of his original outfit, but almost hidden beneath various items that each of the teams can recognize as their own.

"You all joined forces to help me, so the answer can only be a combination of your efforts. With this, I'm confident about covering all bases necessary for a successful date with my Nunuche. Thank you."

"Spoken like a true leader!" Dazai cheers, instantly approving the idea.

The door swings open as MC walks in at a fast pace, hurrying to collect Napoleon's hand and take him away. She's dressed in a simple sundress and wearing her light pink bag over a shoulder with the little Mousette charm hanging from it.

"There you are Napoleon, we're going to be late for our date…! What are you wearing?"

Napoleon makes a troubled humming noise as he shakes off item after item, throwing them in different directions as they clatter against the floor and roll off somewhere. He's back in his day-to-day outfit.

"Nothing much. Nunuche, the truth is… you're stunning. I didn't want to disappoint you. I'm sorry but I couldn't find anything to dress up for our date."

"Oh? What are you talking about, we're going to get you dressed up right now! As soon as we step out of the door we'll go to my friend Mai's boutique and you can have a full Comtherapy!"

"…I…What's a Comtherapy?"

"A Comte-therapy! A shopping therapy, dummy! He even gave me money to dress you up this morning! Thank you, daddy Comte!"

"You're welcome, ma cherie."

"COMTE? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US?" a bunch of voices speak up at the same time.

"Why, my dearest residents and I were having so much fun. Who am I to spoil it?"

Amidst the chaos, Napoleon and MC begin to laugh, their hands still intertwined because of MC's earlier attempt to sneak Napoleon out of the rowdy room. Napoleon smirks and takes the lead, leaving the residents to their wits.

"Come on, Nunuche. Let's go on our date."

MC swoons and gawks, following right after.

"Gods Napoleon, you're so charming!"

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apocalypse-shuffle · 1 year

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JASON TODD & DUKE THOMAS (generalized canon)

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“A Word Of Warning” (Jason Todd x Fem!Reader) and (Duke Thomas & Platonic!Reader)

| The Bats clock you as a known associate of The Red Hood and Signal ends up tracking you down for some answers.

| SFW, Jason isn’t apart of the Bat Clan, Caribbean-American!reader(just a bit; for the plot)

| This’s technically based off of a story I’m working on but because of where I have it placed in the timeline this idea with Duke (who’s who I thought of originally for it) wouldn’t really fit because Duke wouldn’t be old enough yet so yeah. (picture source: new talent showcase #1 comic)

| 4k+ words

Beg. NOTES: This is the first time I’ve ever written either Duke or Antagonist Red Hood (as opposed to just Jason or Red Hood making nice) so bare with me I’m still figuring them out, especially Duke. Also I am going to quit this app if it keeps deleted my shit, omfg.

Other notions notwithstanding you’re of the opinion Gotham looks its best right before sunset. The city’s ever present shadows coming out of hiding to climb up the horizon and take over the sun were incredibly fitting considering who kept vigil of the place. And you loved the way the weaker heat felt against your skin on cooler days like this one before you blended into the lack of light that came at nightfall.

There was just something to be said about two forces so intrinsic to the universe meeting. Of light breeze and dwindling blaze. Of sitting near the edge of a roof, feet almost dangling over the side of too dangerous, and taking it all in.

Of the blaring of cars in the late rush of the oncoming evening and the way the air shifts just a little to your left. Natural flow blocked by some anomaly. Out of place but easy enough to overlook. Too bad to whichever cape’s appeared that you’ve been listening out for that particular party trick for the last half a year. Although it admittedly wasn’t something you worried about during the day.

“Let me guess? Hands in the air?”

“Hell no,” a voice scoffs. “I’m just here as a concerned party. If I were some cop I wouldn’t’ve even let you talk before I had you in cuffs. Knee in your back too probably.”

A shrug of your shoulder is a decent enough answer in your book. You don’t feel like adding to the list of vigilantes you regularly interact with - more acceptable than the police though they were. Not even a little.

“No disrespect, but get to the point. We both know you didn’t start lurking on me just cause.”

He kisses his teeth, you can’t tell whether it’s out of irritation or not.

“Fine. I found you out. A crime lord? Really?”

There it is. You turn to him then, immediately caught up by how bright his costume is even against Gotham’s sun. Everything in the city was just a little askew and the way the sun beat down on y’all was no exception, but he somehow came across brighter.

He’s particolored yellow against the dark gothic backgrounds of your old-as-sin apartment complex, not hiding in the shadows or completely out in the open, but a third secret option: managing to be swallowed by them without trying regardless. The leftover light in the sky doing nothing to thwart how well he’s hidden. Like a moth to the dark he still manages to blur just at the corner of your vision, dark tendrils crawling up his form and sinking near seamlessly into his suit; clashing colors ombreing and turning parts of it flaxon.

“I wasn’t aware you were my keeper.”

The idea of craning your head any longer isn’t exactly appealing, and it’s not as if you’d be able to do anything if he tried something, so you look back out over the city eyes narrowing when he speaks.

“Hood might keep a close eye on the Narrows, and I might even appreciate it sometimes, but over here is still my territory.”

“Right,” you grunt. That wasn’t exactly the answer you were gearing up for. You’d expected something along the lines of his ‘boss’ having sent him. “Well what gave me away then?”

“We knew you had to have been from North considering Hood’s change in visiting pattern was only half an inch outside of the Alley, but me?” He steps out of the shadows and looking at him makes your eyes burn even without him using his powers. Bright colors in Gotham should be damn outlawed. “Hoodie and mask or not. There’s only three women with that accent in the Narrows, Y/n. I checked for multi citizenship from areas with Caribbean dialects, then found your mom, which led me to you since she was too old to be messing with the Red Hood.”

“Fuck,” you curse in a rush, gaping at the escaping light in the sky.

“Yeah, you should really work on masking that.”

“Shit.” You had thought you were. “I made sure I was yanking the whole time, there's no way. You must’ve followed me home or something.”

“Bet.”

That’s all he says. No follow up proposal, no fluffing up his sentence to cover for being called out, nothing. Just a cocky upturn of one corner of his mouth and that self assured silence.

“…Fuck.”

“Yeah,” he slips down to your left, sitting beside you. “It’s hard for you to get rid of how you elongate your a’s. It’s a super distinct ‘ah’ sound if you know what to look for and I just so happen to know. But don’t worry I haven’t told Batman yet.”

“Yet?”

“Yes, yet. I might not be the oldest hero on the block but I know bad decisions when I see them.”

“Make your fair share, have you?”

Your murmur comes out more defensive than you want. First he was telling you you couldn’t hide your accent for shit - despite having practiced extensively with Hood - and now he was telling you The Batman wanted in your business. Fuck indeed.

Would you go to jail for being associated with a known criminal? Does dating a killer count as accessory to every one of his crimes? Can you believably argue ignorance of his actions? These really do feel like questions you should’ve asked beforehand.

There’s the distinct impression he’s rolling his eyes under that visor when Signal responds next.

“Hilarious, but this isn’t about me. It’s about whether you know what you’ve gotten yourself into,” he laughs a little when you scowl. “I’m just saying. You're not the Bonnie to his Clyde - or whatever cutesy metaphor you wanna use - you haven’t done anything offensable. It's not too late you can’t get out.”

You scoff quietly and go back to watching the night’s hues slowly swallowing the day's light whole. “Who says I want out?” It’s pretty the way the colors swirl. Like a fight.

“Why wouldn’t you?” He looks away from you frowning, marring what you can see of his face, before holding his hand up. “No wait, don’t answer that, just hear me out. I get it - wanting to help - I really do and I’d be lying through my teeth if I said I didn't support it. But if you don’t know what you’re about, leave while you still can. This superhero thing gets less about creed and more about survival the further you get sucked into it and once the rest of the Bats are onto you that’s it.”

Oh that would definitely be ‘it’, but not tonight. Tapping the screen of your otherwise forgotten phone shows the thirty six minutes of time you've got before seven o'clock to get to where Hood asked you to meet near the city hall district.

“I’m sorry, do you have something better to do than listen to me trying to save your life?”

You grimace lightly, “Listen, I appreciate the concern but if you're not going to do anything but tell me shit I already know I’m just- gonna go.”

“Alright, I know a cape tracking you down ain’t fun but come on-” he cuts himself off so fast his teeth audibly clink together then all at once he’s standing again.

You tense yourself, breath catching in your throat, and roll around so you can see where he’s facing. There’s a second where nothing meets you but the cresting shadows and bronze lighting desperately spreading its fingers over gravel. It’s quiet save for the swooping breeze then Signal twitches. It’s like a chill has gone through his body, like something tugged on wrong when somebody’s hand is in your hair.

An ice struck down your spine type of grimace that has you cringing in sympathy.

Just as Signal steps fully in front of you the shadows around the concrete bulkhead a few feet away stretch outward before materializing into something person shaped. Signal shivers again like he can feel the elasticity.

“Narrows! Funny seeing you here,” a harsh mechanized voice sounds. Dark tactical gear slowly becomes discernible from the shade as the person moves closer until that telltale flash of red greets you both.

Your breath un-catches and you breathe out harshly through your nose, clambering to your feet. He was ten minutes too early and miles away from the southeast side.

“Not really, considering I live here and all, but whatever.”

In response the guy takes another step closer. Signil’s hand twitches but he doesn’t move for the eskrima you all know is at his back.

“Right, well, I don’t really appreciate people messing with my informants.”

“I’d suggest not meeting them so out in the open then,” he gives a blight shrug.

The newest rooftop occupant shakes his head with a low chuckle.

“I wasn’t. You guys are just nosy and -uh- what am I forgetting?” He snaps his fingers, somehow managing to make it sound incredibly obnoxious. “Oh, that’s right! I was also in civies. What’s next, you guys gonna bombard the owner of the bodega I shop at too?”

“I wasn’t bombarding her. I was passing on a message.”

Hood nods and his voice reverberates in a low growl through the modulator when he hums. “Mmm, okay well. Y/n?”

“Message received,” you brush some roof gravel from your clothes still trying to decide how you feel about him coming to your ‘rescue’ like this.

“Well you heard the lady, Narrows. See ya later.”

“Listen man, I’m not trying to fight if I don’t have to, but do you really think this’s a good idea?”

“You know what, Signal? I like you so I’ll keep that noted, but you tell Daddy Bats if he forces the issue it’ll officially become my business. Now kindly fuck off, the sun’s setting.”

There’s a pause where the two of them just stare one another down and then Signal crosses his arms, feet planted.

“If I don’t?”

“Wow,” Jason groans, head falling into his hands for a beat before he looks back up. The blank face of the helmet doesn’t give anything away but the way he lets his body slump, hands falling to his sides, is telling enough. As much as you like Signal you kinda agree. “How does he put up with you?”

The vigilante shrugs, “He couldn’t stop me if he wanted; better to just get in the passenger’s seat.”

“Poetic,” he scoffs. “Alright, let me put it this way. You're a smart kid, you know nothing’ll happen if she’s seen with some unknown white guy but what about when people catch on that Batman’s interested in her? What then?”

It takes a second, and Signal doesn’t uncross his arms, but his shoulders lower and he shifts his weight to one side.

“Us poking around is more dangerous for her than your civilian identity, I got it.” He huffs. You can see his grimace even from behind. “But that doesn’t mean I got to trust her with you.”

“Wrong.” Jason rises back to his full height with a shake of his head. “This isn’t up for debate. She’s not going anywhere.”

You jerk forward, walking a few steps in front of Signal so you can stand to the side of him while still being seen by both males, scowl taking over your features.

“She - if anybody’s curious - does still possess the ability to make her own decisions. I know what I’m doing, I don’t need a babysitter.”

Signal turns to you with the most dubious head tilt. “You’re sure you know what you're doing?”

You cross your arms, “Fuck you, I’m figuring it out.”

A beat goes by of everyone collectively doing their best impression of a gaggle of directionless mimes before Signal groans.

“Say I believe you. How exactly do you expect me to keep Batman off of your tail when he figures your identity out?”

When Hood laughs it’s so hard the responder crackles in and out of clarity. He waves Signal off. “I’ll deal with him, don’t sweat it.”

The way Signal’s pressing his weight forward says for all the world that he would very much like to sweat it, but he still sighs anyway, dropping his arms to unclip his grapple. He looks to you for a second time.

“You’ll tell me if anything happens?”

The response you give is mostly shrug.

“Sure, Kid, whatever, you’ll be the first one I call,” you throw out while glaring in the general direction of Jason’s eyes. In any case, Signal being added to the list was better than Batman.

The diurnal bat accepts your words with a small smile, shoots Jason what you can only assume to be a warning look, and then swings off with an elated whoop to switch shifts with the rest of the clan.

“And don’t follow me like that again, thanks!” you call out to the vigilante’s retreating form. Mostly though the words are for Jason who’s managed to tuck himself back near the shadows, setting sun washing over him from behind and making him look a lot like a red dahlia set ablaze.

“Did you hear me good?” With the other gone you allow yourself to turn to Jason headlong.

“Y/n-”

“Nope. No,” you parry, moving closer. “What happened to ‘meet at city hall’?”

“You weren’t moving,” he throws out while pushing off the concrete to intercept you. His hands glide up your arms till he can grasp onto your forearms and turn you around, hold more cradle than control as he guides you to the wall.

You let him do it but the furrow in your brows doesn’t budge. The mask, red and frustratingly unyielding, does much the same with far less effort.

“Now how,” you click your tongue. “Did you know that?”

The second your back brushes along the wall he stops responding, helmet tipping this way and that.

“He didn’t come anywhere near touching me,” you roll your eyes. “Did you put a tracker on me?”

Jason shrugs, doesn’t bother answering you in any direction.

“What were you two getting all yuppy about?”

The corner of your mouth twitches downward and you don’t bother fixing it.

“Hood,” you ground out, body a tense obstruction as you get in his face enough he can’t keep up his examination.

In turn Jason doesn’t give an inch but the sound that comes out of the modulator is harsh, likely just a heavy sigh, but your fists ball regardless; too keyed up to parse out the difference.

“Your find my phone app works perfectly fine.”

“Oh,” you shift your gaze away from glowing eyes to look at the moon overlapping some of the last remnants of the sun's rays, features evening out. He waits until you slump back into the wall to speak next.

“You done?”

Lips pursed you give into that deadpan tone with a tiny shrug.

“Yeah I’m done.”

A beat or five goes by, you’re not sure cause you’re not watching, before he sighs shoulders coming in and out of your peripheral.

“C'mon Slick,” Jason intones quietly. He reaches to the back of the helmet and releases the catch. His brows are practically furrowed over his domino when you’re finally able to get a good look at him and he tucks the helmet into his side, pointing at you with his free hand. “I’m just watching out for you. You have got to keep yourself outta trouble.”

“Please I would hardly count that as ‘trouble’,” you push his hand away and slip off around him to walk to the roof access door. “And you told them I was your informant, really?”

You don’t react to the ‘oh my god’ he breathes out behind you but you do let the door close in his face when you walk into the stairwell.

It’s petty but the name of the game currently seems to be how petty can you get so at least you aren’t breaking any rules.

You've already made it halfway to the hallway entrance when Jason flings the heavy metal open with a low curse. “Would you rather the alternative?”

“I would rather a partner who trusts me.”

The door slams shut and the only thing lighting the way is the sickly colored lights, the palest possible imitation of the now sleeping sun, and the scarcely lit red EXIT hanging above the top landing. None of that manages to hinder how open Jason's body language has become or stop you from reading the hurt from him when you chance a second long glance backward.

“I do trust you- just not against a cape. Not right now.”

“Hmph.” You don’t stop or turn around but you slow your gait so you’re not thundering down the steps anymore. “But not never?”

“Evidently,” he grunts, coming down the stairs in that oddly silent way that doesn’t even make the air being displaced under his feet echo. “Now what the hell’s got you so up in arms?”

“There’s nothing ‘up’ with me.” The hall door opens by your hand a sliver of the way before one of Jason’s hands clasps over yours on the lever and forces it back into place. It makes you jump, he hadn’t sounded so close.

The click of the latch bolt sounds suspiciously final. You puff out a light breath. It hits the door in one streamlined wave of nerves. In the meantime Jason’s body presses along the length of your back like he belongs there; it’s so natural. You shiver and relax your hand on the handle. Allow it to slip off with his own when he lets go.

“Aren’t we supposed to be working on this shit? Talk to me, will you?”

Rocking back on your heels to mold into his warmth you close your eyes, head falling onto his chest.

“If I don’t?”

He matches your whisper with one of his own, words nearly coiling around you with his delivery.

“If there’s zero stubborn people in the world then you’re dead, Y/n. We both know I can’t make you do fuck all.”

“Hmm,” you scoff quietly. “If there’s no stubborn people left you’d have to be dead too, you know?”

“I don’t think I’d mind being dead with you too much,” Jason says while knocking your heads lightly together. It makes you snort and you turn around with another sigh to face him.

“Corny ass,” you say. Jason shrugs.

“For you, yeah.”

“Oh my god,” you laugh at the smile that tugs at his lips. “When did we trade places?”

“Beats the hell outta me,” he steps in front of the nothing you’re staring at so you’ll stop avoiding his gaze. “Now talk.”

You track the bend of his mouth. The easy smile that’s only now - finally, after a year - becoming real and you fold faster than a snapped leg in an interrogation.

“The tracking scares me,” you let out in a rush.

He tenses, that grin disappears, and you want to swallow your words back.

“We can cut the tracker-”

“Nah that’s not what I meant. I don’t…mind it when it’s you. I know what you’re doing with the information, but…” you swallow, looking over then up at the door.

Out of the corner of your eye the thin line of his lips turns into a grimace and then a sneer.

“But Batman,” he grunts and you nod, humorless laugh falling past plush lips.

“Yeah, the fucking Batman - and I know you’ve got me and I’m not gonna harp on it cause I don’t wanna stimulate the little hate boner you’ve got for the man - but this is…a lot.”

Jason bites the inside of his cheek and you watch him stew over what you’ve just said. His forehead creases and his brows raise and his frown somehow gets deeper and then he inhales.

“It’s not too late for you to get out.”

His jaw clenches like he’s just tasted something unappealing but won’t admit it and you raise a brow.

“Huh. You know Signal said the same thing?”

It takes a beat before he can pry his mouth open.

“Did he?”

His voice is too soft like you’re about to tell him someone died and it makes your heart rattle.

“Yup,” you say, voice still hushed.

“And?”

You feel the exact second your gazes meet. Feel so intricately the way watercolor blue meets copper brown as if it was a physical thing. The domino over his eyes does nothing to mask that natural intensity.

A deep breath.

“And I’m in this until it blows up in my face, consequences be damned, if the Bat’s not willing to put in the effort then I will. We deserve that much.”

“The Alley does,” he concedes slowly, “but that doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice yourself for it.”

You’d thought you’d known longing before Jason Todd but watching him now you know with certainty the man wears it better than you ever could. A fitting but unflattering cloak. Effective in hiding against the moon and her subjects alike.

“Neither do you.”

He glances away. You can tell because your breaths get clearer. The rush of being known flushed from your system.

Jason laughs once, more a grunt than anything. “Let’s not get into that.”

“Fine,” you shrug. “I'm just saying though. I don’t have to do everything - and I’m not going to. That self sacrificing shit is your deal not mine - but I’m still a part of this. I’m straight, okay? I don’t need you getting me out.”

“Alright,” he hums and indicates the door with his chin. “Go inside, I'll meet you in a minute.”

You’re tired, you want to be done, so you were moving before he was even mid sentence. You’d come directly from work to the roof so-. Right. The roof. Your bed would have to wait for a couple more minutes.

You stop and turn back to face him. “What about city hall?”

He waves you off with a blithe movement.

“Eh, it’s not so time sensitive we can’t put it off for one day. Now go. I gotta contact my guys, but I’ll cook tonight.”

“Oh will you?” you joke, holding out your arms in surrender and making to back out of the stairway. You’re reaching around to grasp at the handle when he starts forward with a tiny stumble and gets a hold around your waist.

“Hold on. I - ah -” his licks his lips, “I wanna kiss you.”

“Oh,” you giggle, gaze flicking momentarily down to slick lips. “Sure.”

The both of you stall on what to do for a second. His grip is loose and your hands flutter between his face and shoulders - too scared to land and too eager to touch all at once. Eventually though Jason scoffs at himself and gives you an encouraging squeeze that has you melting, and it doesn’t seem all that challenging anymore.

You laugh into the kiss he gives you, settling on having one hand cupping his jaw and the other wrapped around his bicep. The momentum of your lips is smoother this go round. Your teeth still clink together but there’s no awkward stop-start to figure out how to angle your heads or not bump noses.

When you pull apart it’s genuine disappointment that tugs at your chest that you can’t meet his eyes.

“Bye,” he murmurs.

You shake your head. “In a minute...”

The urge for another shorter kiss has you meeting again and Jason’s hands pull you closer like he’s trying to push you into the gaps of his ribcage and his mouth moves against yours with the severity of a promise. This time when you seperate the tug seems harsher. You think he feels it too with the way his breath stutters but he recovers faster. Gets in an extra squeeze at your sides before letting go. You try not to make the disappointment that flares at that noticeable.

“Bye,” you say. It doesn’t matter that he’ll be crawling through your window in less than thirty minutes, you peck him on the lips one more time anyway before dropping your hands and disappearing out into the hall. “And tell Oyoung to give me back my damn mini. I know she took it; how’s she just gonna steal a whole taser like that?”

Jason’s snort at your words follows you into brighter lighting - more reminiscent of the moon’s cool unwavering roundness than the sun's sharp edges - and the short trek back to your apartment feels weightless.

End.NOTES: Hope you enjoyed!!

Alt Paragraph: “Bye,” you say. It doesn’t matter that he’ll be crawling through your window in less than thirty minutes, you peck him on the lips one more time anyway before dropping your hands and disappearing out into the hall. “And tell Oyoung to give me back my damn curl enhancer. I know she took it; how’s she just gonna steal a whole jar?”

btw: if you’d like to leave a comment I’d very much appreciate it. this is a sideblog tho so I won’t respond.

#jason todd #duke thomas #black!reader #black y/n #red hood #the signal #jason todd x black!reader #red hood x black!reader #Caribbean!Reader #duke thomas x platonic!reader #duke thomas x black!reader #platonic!black reader #platonic reader #duke thomas x reader #jason todd x reader #jason todd imagine #red hood imagine #duke thomas imagine #black!batsis

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mahou-furbies · 5 months

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Once again it is time for

This year's event will be hosted by mahou Zeldas, because I've been spending a lot of time in Hyrule this year.

Mahou anime of the year:

(Futari Wa Precure Splash Star, Yes! Precure 5, Yes! Precure 5 GoGo, Smile Precure!, Mahou Tsukai Precure!, Hirogaru Sky Precure!, Otona Precure, Tokyo Mew Mew New s2, Magical Destroyers, Zettai Bouei Leviathan, Petite Princess Yucie, season movies for Splash Star, Yes5, Yes5 GoGo, Smile & Delicious Party, Crossover movie for Fresh Precure!)

Then the stuff I read:

(Saint Tail, Stellar Witch Lips, Magical Girl Tsubame, W.i.t.c.h. reboot, Smile Precure novel, Null Magical Girl, Magia Record Scene Zero)

I also keep up with what kind of designs Magia Record releases though I don't play it or otherwise follow the story.

Extremely Precure year this time around though that was not intentional, usually I only manage one backlog season per year. But I started with Smile, and then we were hit with the news that we'd have a Yes5/Splash Star sequel in autumn, and in preparation for that I had to power through some 150 episodes for the original series. And then I somehow ended up watching all of Mahou Tsukai in less than 2 weeks. And then there was Otona as well of course.

Now there's only three backlog seasons left, and they should be doable in a year if the Mahou Tsukai sprint is of any indication, though we'll see how that goes. I'd like to take a look at other similar shows too (like Doremi and Sailor Moon) but I want to clear Precure first before moving to the next thing.

The W.i.t.c.h. reboot was also a thing this year, which seems to have come and went with a thud. Which is a shame because I was looking forward to it, but... well it wasn't particularly good. I guess it can pick up of there's more to the story.

For the first time I've followed a Magia Record (game) story, with Scene Zero. The format is difficult but I am interested, so it's possible I'll look into more MagiReco stories once Scene Zero is over. The game has so many cute characters so I'd certainly like to know more about them.

This year I also took part in ArtFight and did some mostly mahou themed OC art, which was a lot of fun. I'm looking forward to doing the same next year as well if they host the event again.

Now onto the awards!

Best henshin design goes to Cure Sky! Blue lead Cure aside this is a top tier magical girl design, and that is mostly thanks to the cape, especially the red inside and yellow fringe. It looks so majestic! But being a half-cape prevents her from looking too stuffy. The thin twintails also look great with the cape in action shots. And of course she is also stupidly cute.

Also a shoutout to Saint Tail's simple but very effective look with a rarely seen colour scheme.

Best team design goes to Stellar Witch Lips! Similar enough to be a team but everyone has their own take on the theme, black makes for a good base colour and the sparkly tops look amazing.

Best powerup design goes to Cure Felice's Alexandrite form! She looks so regal and powerful, truly a nature goddess!

Best civilian design goes to Cure Sky in general! I just like her practical style and the clothes look all comfy.

Best hair goes to Junia! It looks so soft and poofy and her pastel colour palette makes everything even cuter.

Best magical item goes to the tiara and amulets in Petite Princess Yucie! They aren't that special to be honest but I'm always ready for magical items that don't look like cheap plastic toys.

Best henshin scene goes to Cure Sky! A lot of dynamic animation, the tinted split screen at the end is fresh for Precure, the modulation in the middle amps up the power, the dark background makes everything a little bit cooler, and the cape flip and wings at the end just look amazing.

youtube

Best fan creation goes to ArtFight in general! It was my first time participating, and getting to draw other people's ocs on a low threshold was great, and obviously receiving a ton of art of my own ocs felt amazing.

Best relationship goes to the group in Petite Princess Yucie! I really like how the side characters have distinct relationships with each other and not just the main character, and how not everyone gets along all the time (or most of the time with Glenda and Elmina). The fact that they're also rivals makes things more interesting and everything culminates successfully in the power of friendship in the end.

Best mascot goes to Saki's cat Korone! Not exactly a traditional Precure mascot but he does become more mascot-like towards the end. Absolute unit of a cat, gets a funny deep voice and even lands a hit on the final boss, and most importantly isn't annoying.

Best supporting character goes to Kintoleski from Splash Star! He's a pretty simple character but I like villains who are honourable and polite, and he managed to be consistently funny as well.

Best visual goes to Stellar Witch Lips! The story wasn't really anything to write home about but the ultra cute and sparkly art is just magical.

Best audio goes to Updradft Shining bgm! It's surprisingly epic for such an early series attack and it'd be cool if the franchise used music like this more.

youtube

A honourable mention to Tsubasa's eagle sound effect in the Majestic Halation attack, Mabayu's (MagiReco) silly "nuwawawa" scream of pain in a decidedly serious scene, and every "Haa!" from Ha-chan.

Best scene goes to the separation and reunion scene from Mahou Tsukai Precure! Or I guess that's more like half of an episode. Really impressive how they spent so much time on pretty low-key character stuff like this.

Honourable mention to the big battle towards the end of Petite Princess Yucie.

The Innovation award is given to a magical girl work that I think does something fresh for the genre. This year it goes to Hirogaru Sky! Precure for having a boy Cure, an adult Cure and most importantly a non-pink lead Cure! Which isn't particularly notable for the genre as a whole but a gigantic achievement for this franchise. Hopefully it wasn't just a 20 year celebratory fluke and we'll see more variety in the future too.

The Golden Mana award is the prize given to one thing I didn't like.

This year it goes to the henshin forms in Otona Precure, or more specifically the way it did absolutely nothing about them. No adults-as-magical girls, no new looks as 14-year-olds, and not even a new powerup form for the final finisher. Boo! I'm not really saying that the show is required to include new forms just because I wanted it or because it's common in the genre, but that would definitely have made me a lot more forgiving of its many other flaws. And this is my list so I get to complain about my preferences.

Dishonourable mention to Nozomi's catchphrase in Yes5 and GoGo for exemplifying the selfish and pushy aspect of pink heroines like this that often goes uncriticised.

Best character goes to Cure Sky! In addition to the excellent character design she also has a fun personality, "earnest dumbass" is a great combo, and her determination is just great. I also like that she isn't super girly for once. The story of Hirogaru isn't that good so Sora too is held back from having a truly awesome story, but as a character she is still enjoyable enough.

Best work goes to Petite Princess Yucie! It has fun characters, great designs, good group dynamics, interesting world and a really strong ending. It's a shame they don't seem to do kids' anime like this nowadays?

Plans for 2024

Onwards to 2024! I swear this year I'm going to continue with MagiPro, I've been stuck at volume 7 for several years.

#blog stuff #annual wrap up #Youtube

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original-character-championship · 1 year

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Bracket C Round 1

Poll 4

Layren Atelie (@murrittimeswithscar) vs. Argus (@mojothemaltipoo)

135. Layren Atelie (@murrittimeswithscar)

he/him

hes like a mary sue but cooler. hes a ghost. hes in purgatory. hes actually alive. hes dying but not really. he lives in the forest and terrorizes travelers by roleplaying with them. hes scottish (?). the reason he does this is unknown. he's friends with the protagonist and she fucking hates him. he only exists to get on her nerves. he talks weird. hes out there so Watch Out.

a troll like from homestuck, he's read and wears a shirt that's white and puffy on one side and a black dess shirt-ish on the other. he has shades and a crown, as well as very short imp-ish horns and a black cape with a red pentagram on the back. his skin and hair is lighter than a regular troll and he has necrosis on his hands. also he has grey pants and red dress shoes.

136. Argus (@mojothemaltipoo)

He/They/It

Argus should win because they are not only peak blorbo material, but they have everything a good OC needs! Traumatic backstory? Check! Cool powers and abilities? Check! Appealing design? Check! Gay? Checkity-Check!

Argus is the ultimate bitch-boy, babygirl, blorbo, who needs no introduction! (Except, of course, when it does need an introduction.)

Make the right call, Tumblr citizens, and vote for Argus! The most blorbo of them all!

Argus is technically two beings in one, the first being a humanoid. The humanoid has red-ish brown, curly hair. He has black and gold armor and a black scarf. And his eyes are covered by a blindfold that can't come off.

The other being is a giant eye that follows the first around. the eye appears to be made of glass, but it is generally indestructible. Its pupil is black most of the time, but occasionally glows a pale blue. And it has five gold spikes that surround it. The spikes represent Argus' life span. When all five break, they die.

#oc championship #tournament poll #bracket c #round 1 #135 layren atelie #136 argus

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sashimiyas · 1 year

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cw: word vommie; nai x reader; character death; modern au

“what would your superhero name be?”

a seven year old nai wrinkles his nose, unbidden distaste displayed on his features. nai, unlike most seven year olds, hates a lot of things.

he hates nap time. you love nap time.

he hates snack time. you love snack time.

“i hate superheroes,” nai proclaims as he runs over one of vash’s power rangers with a tonka truck.

and of course, you love them.

you watch as the ranger skitters across the floor, graceful even when facing his end. despite your efforts, using your magical wand to revive all the heroes that nai defeats, he’s simply too quick. what’s left is a pile of fallen soldiers in front of you, and though you’re glum at your loss, nai’s victorious grin across from you makes you want to play again.

you fall prey to his demise once more. then another. nai’s confident charm turns annoying and cocky quick.

you kick at the dump truck he’s weaponized against you, nai reacting with an irritated chide as he clutches it protectively to his chest. so he can defeat all your favorite toys multiple times with a smile but one kick from you is a sin?

“bad guys are bad,” you say, childish pettiness firing the words from your mouth.

the boy shakes his head vehemently. his hair follows in a beautiful, bellowing motion, flowing outwards like superman’s cape as he flies through a city he’s just saved. he’d be a beautiful hero, a powerful one too.

“no, they’re cool.”

“if they were cool, then they’d be called cool guys, and not bad guys.”

“only heroes call them bad. why does only their say matter?”

“because they’re heroes!”

“but that’s not fair.”

and for everything that seven year old nai hates, fairness is not one of them. vash has told you many times. when rem takes the boys out to buy toys, he always requests her to pick one out for you too. it’s only fair you’d get one too.

if there’s only two sodas left, it’s not enough that vash offers you all of his. nai takes matters into his hands, grabbing another cup and pouring from both bottles so that each of you could have an equal amount.

nai wants an equal world and the two of you, at the ripe age of seven, recognize what this relationship is. for everything that nai hates, you love.

you will be nai’s hero. and he’ll be the bad guy that keeps you safe.

“so what would your bad guy name be?”

“cool guy,” he corrects.

you roll your eyes, “what would your cool guy name be?”

nai sits on the question, rocking in his cross legged position with a focused look forward.

“knives,” he finally decides, a proud grin on his face.

it’s your turn to express your distaste, “knives?”

“yeah, because the heroes get swords so what’s cooler than swords? knives.”

“knives are lame.”

“no it’s not,” there’s a small amount of petulant offense in his tone, “knives sounds like my name.”

you say the word again, thinking aloud and slowly growing to accept it. it’s not quite as glamorous as a sword, not as mighty. there must be something that could give his cool guy name a little something. something more than just. knives.

“okay but what about millions knives? that sounds cooler!”

nai deadens his stare, an expression he’s skillfully mastered at a young age. “millions? now that’s lame.”

“no, think about it!” your shoulder brushes his as you display your palm into the air as if to summon an apparition. “one knife is lame. rem uses one knife to cut carrots. and a million is cool. you could cut up a bunch of carrots with a million. but millions? that’s the coolest! there’d probably be more knives than stars!”

“millions knives,” nai says to himself, you excitably agreeing besides him. he settles into an identity that day, one that grows into a villain that has sworn himself to protect you.

and when he cannot, when he has to seek blood in retribution of yours, when you murderer looks up at him and asks who he is, nai answers the same.

“millions knives.”

one knife is not nearly enough, a million hardly at all. it will takes millions of knives to compensate your life he took.

#reina.writestristamp #trigun stampede angst #someone said something about nai deciding his name as a child and just sticking with it #like yeahhhhh that makes sense #this is not meant to be good! i did not edit or reread #but it’s the first thing i’ve written in a while! so bye now!

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kachikirby · 8 months

Note

For the drabble thingy: the word is "ocean" and the ship is Metaccine!

Thank you for your ask!! I'll try not to make this too long.

Seaside Date

When Fettuccine said she wanted Meta to take a break from the main base of the Meta-Knights at Orange Ocean, he didn’t think it would involve him being dragged out to the location he was at now. More specifically, it was roughly on the same island, thankfully in a secluded area, but he was still questioning why he was brought here.

“Fetty, is there a reason we’re here?” He asked as she tossed out various items that she had been carrying. A parasol, towels, floaties, and a cooler. Fettuccine let out a giggle.

“We’re on a date!” She replied as if that’s all he needed to hear.

“Huh… shouldn’t we go outside for that?” The knight asked.

“We are outside.” She smiled.

“I meant somewhere other than here. IF you want to go to the beach, there’s better beaches we can go to…”

“Yes, but you can relax more easily here.” Fettuccine replied, her smile softening and it dawned upon Meta why she did this.

“I see… you really think of everything, don’t you?”

“Hey, I wasn’t called a child prodigy for nothing!” She giggled. While it was common of her to giggle around Meta, it always made his heart flutter. Awkwardly, he removed his mask, perching it atop his head as he tilted his head slightly.

“But what exactly are we going to do here?”

“Well, what do you think?” She asked.

“…well, we can’t swim because you’re not wearing a swimsuit.”

Fettuccine only grinned, then, to Meta’s surprise, her clothes quickly shapeshifted into a bikini and a pair of sunglasses.

“You were saying?” She asked playfully.

The knight was silent, seemingly stunned by the action with his face a deep red.

“What’s wrong? Are you stunned because of how good I look?” Fettuccine uttered, giggling.

“Yes.”

The blunt reply took any wind out of her sails, turning her entire body pink and leaving her with a stunned expression. Meta himself chuckled and removed his armor and cape, taking out a pair of sunglasses from his subspace.

“Well, come on, then, Fetty.” He smiled, seemingly causing her to be reengergized.

“I’ll race you to the water, Metty!” She hopped to her feet and ran… only to be beaten by the knight, who had an innocent look on his face as she noticed the bat-like appendages that were previously on his back be drawn back into his body via magic.

“Metty! You cheated! You used your wings!!” She jokingly whined, already making a beeline for him in the water.

“It’s not cheating if you use everything at your disposal.” He said with a slightly cocky smirk. One that Fettuccine knew she was weak against.

“Mettyyyyyyy! That’s not fairrrr!!” She shouted, practically springing at him and pulling him into a tight hug in the water, surprising the blue puff.

“F-Fetty?!”

SPLASH

After a brief moment, the two broke the surface of the water, Meta being held tightly by Fettuccine.

“Heh heh! Guess you didn’t expect that, did you?” The Limet woman said proudly as she saw her lover’s stunned expression, which turned into a small, yet gentle smile.

“Not at all.” He uttered.

Fettuccine smiled back and hugged him more tightly as she laid back, allowing herself to float on the water.

“My silly bat…” She uttered lovingly, kissing the top of his head.

“My little bunny…” The knight replied back, knowing exactly what she meant by those words.

For the rest of the day, the happy couple enjoyed a relaxing day on the beach.

#it came from the magic box #meta knight #fettuccine kirby #metaccine #drabble #sorry it took a bit of time #wholesome

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abuddyforeveryseason · 2 months

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This is the Buddy for March 25th. It's Surfing Buddy.

Everyone knows our friend the Silver Surfer. That's a fun character, and a Jack Kirby creation on top of that. It seems like Silver Surfer was a character close to Jack's heart, and a beloved design all around.

Kirby tried to reinvent the character with no success a few times, too.

First, with Orion, of the New Gods, and his astral-glider thing. That's an interesting character, and I quite like his mode of transportation gizmo, but he was never that popular. In fact, he turned out to be something of an appendix in the DC universe. His father, Darkseid, is this big powerful villain who can trash Superman around, but Orion himself is there in the corner, despite all the prophecies that say he'll be the one to beat Darkseid. It's like if Luke Skywalker ended up being a forgotten character and we saw the final battle between Darth Vader and Lando Calrissian.

Then, there was the Black Racer. Everything about that character screams badass. An avatar of death, a Vietnam war vet trapped in a coma, coming out to collect souls, a superhero grim reaper. But, the design, woof. One of the worst, if not the worst, designs Jack Kirby ever did. Red and blue tights, a yellow collared cape, and a cartoonish knight's helmet. If that wasn't bad enough, he's got flying skis.

I know the norse goddess Skädi would use skis, so that might've been an inspiration, but skiing will never be as badass as surfing, I'm sorry. And it doesn't really match a character that's supposed to represent the ultimate fear.

DC comics have tried its hardest to make the Black Racer look cooler. He's supposed to be an important character on par with Darkseid himself, but he's always felt like a cut-rate Silver surfer. They tried making his skiing poles look like scythes, make his costume all black, turned the skis into alien looking animal paws...

A lot of people who don't know better assume the Black Racer wasn't created by the same guy who created Silver Surfer. It does look like a ripoff, after all.

There were some other Silver Surfer-ish characters in Kirby's later work, in Captain Victory and Phantom Force, but those are way too obscure to be remembered.

#ab4es #drawing #surfing #surf #silver surfer #comic book #marvel #dc #new gods #fantastic four #orion #darkseid #black racer #captain victory #phandom force

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morphogenetic · 5 months

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Mediaposting 2023, #54: Last Window: The Secret of Cape West

generally speaking i think this was a better/more interesting game than hotel dusk itself, purely because its way more of a character study about kyle himself and that tracks way more than the mystery behind hotel dusk. i've generally found that mysteries where the protagonist is barely relevant to the mystery at all are not particularly interesting, so cape west actually being solidly about kyle makes it way more engaging.

that said, it's still not particularly good - i wouldn't call it bad in any way, and i think it's short enough to still be worth it. like to me its a 6.5/10, not bad but not worth replaying, but for someone else i definitely see how it could be higher. it's just not very fun to play after a certain point, especially with its extremely repetitive gameplay loop and the majority of the reveals happening in the last third of the game. just like its predecessor it really suffers from the pacing being ass, even though the pacing sucks in an entirely different way than it did in hotel dusk itself.

it really did just keep running into the problem where most of the parts of the murder mystery just feel way too obvious instead of WOAAAAAAH cool reveals. like i called everything about dylan as soon as I saw his room, it didnt feel like i was putting things together as much as I was being handed pieces of paper with all the clues. (ALSO WILL IS NOT FORESHADOWED ENOUGH HE EXISTS FOR LIKE TWO CHAPTERS BEFORE YOU LEARN HIS DEAL INSTEAD OF GETTING INTRO'D IN CH2 OR 3 RAAAAAAAAAH)

anyway. my main disappointment with hotel dusk/last window is that they both have the key pieces to be interesting, but their flow and information delivery are just...not well paced. which is really a bad excuse for two games that are barely 15 hours long each....sighs. you could have been something!! and then!! you weren't!!!! lies on the ground.

ngl this doesn't make me super intrigued by the another code remake but who knows. i just dont really trust cing's small body of work to be super interesting any more :/

still like kyle though he doesnt really stand out as a protag to me. still a fun one just not a super interesting one, though last window went a long way in making me give a shit. idk though would have been cooler if this had been involved in hotel dusk too LOL

#mediaposting #(one more of these coming up before the new year hits LOL)#(also sorry if you saw this in the tag im not tagging it on purpose. but. you know how tumbl search is.)#junpei.txt

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imperiuswrecked · 1 year

Note

Do you have any thoughts on Namorita in 616 being an au transplant when the og Namorita could be brought back at any time now because she’s a mutant?

They don’t need to bring her back I guess. But it doesn’t really seem like Namora would be okay with leaving her daughter dead if she had another option (even if she did get an au replacement daughter)

And they could easily be distinguished if they did bring her back. The currently dead one is cooler and angrier and bluer

I honestly think that Marvel forgot that 616 Nita is dead and her Past Timeline counterpart was never sent back to her own time so they just treat her as og Nita whenever she pops up. Maybe if that canceled New New Warriors books came out we could have gotten more information about this but most likely not because Nita isn't super popular except among New Warriors and Sub-Mariner fans.

Namora literally has never seen her Past Timeline daughter even once, so if they sent Past Nita back today then it wouldn't make a single difference to Namora because she hasn't interacted with her. Neither has Namor, and like it sucks because the Past Nita could have stirred up some plot drama, Namor's guilt over Nita's death, Namora's guilt over not being their for her daughter, etc. they could have made it interesting but instead everything is always ignored. I do think it's ooc for Namora to not try every avenue available to her to try and bring her daughter back to life. I would actually like that to be a point of conflict between her and Namor, with Namor wanting Nita to rest in peace because he's seen what happens when the dead come back, and Namora not accepting her daughter's death and going through some dark paths to bring her back.

I do think if Nita came back it wouldn't be so hard, but I would like there to be actual comics that deal with her coming back because her death had a huge impact on Namor especially, who saw her a little sister, so if they just brought her back (with Krakoa pods or magic or whatever) and didn't address this then that would be terrible imo. Death in cape comics is treated so cheaply these days so I have low hopes for Nita ever coming back or if she did then for Marvel to care enough to focus on her death. Marvel just doesn't care about side Sub-Mariner characters enough to put any effort into them, they can hardly put the in the effort for Namor.

If Nita did come back however I would def want her to be in her Kymaera form because it's more visually striking and sets her apart from looking too similar to Namora.

#namorita #nita prentiss #namor #namora #new warriors #imp answers

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brickowskibois · 2 years

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I'm literally just making this post because I love Lego Dick Grayson and I had to prove nothing bad happened to him

Okay now that that's out of the way, let's talk The Apocalypse.

I recently posted some concept art that had some rather dark implications. Of course, this was gonna lead to some theories and speculation. @strawberri-doggo and my friend @lilacs-stash pointed out that this could mean that the reason the Batfam from The Lego Batman Movie were not in the Lego Movie 2 was because they died during the Apocalypse. Because I refuse to let anything bad happen to them, allow me to propose a theory of my own!

Gotham is in a separate location in The Man Upstairs's house/basement that was not included in the 5-year Apocalypse between the first and second Lego Movies

Allow me to explain.

Evidence 1, which is actually a refute of evidence that could prove me wrong: So we see Harley Quinn twice in the Lego movies. We got our girlboss from the Lego Batman Movie and we got the DCCU Harley in The Lego Movie 2. This could be used to argue that Harley is one of the sole Gotham survivors alongside Batman and Alfred.

However, I firmly believe that these are two different Harley Quinns. It's already been confirmed that the Upstairs family (yes I'm treating "Upstairs" like it's their last name) own duplicates of characters:

So, considering the fact that the two Harleys look different, are from different properties, have different personalities, and are voiced by different people, it's not out of the question to believe that they're completely different Harleys.

Evidence 2: The Finn-pocalypse

So, the reason the 5-year Apocalypse happens is because Finn wants to make his own builds that are cooler and grittier than the things his dad made. One thing that often gets overlooked (by myself as well until I started researching this) is that Finn straight up nuked EVERYTHING that his dad made.

This is a pretty good look at the downstairs table in the first Lego movie.

And here's that same table in the second movie

It's all GONE.

Where did it all go??

Well, I believe that, in order to create the bada$$ apocalypse world Finn pictured in his head, he just mashed everything together.

Using the map Lord Business used in the first Lego movie and the screenshot of Finn with the storage bin, we can kind of see where we are in the basement. On the back wall we can see a space diorama of sorts. This *could* be Cape Space on the map below.

And as we know, Apocalypseburg was mainly based on Bricksburg (I don't know if the Bricksburg ruins in the movie are literal or not so I'm not gonna think about them too much), so the circled Bricksburg section is likely the table that became Apocalypseburg's setting. Everything around it sounds rife for creating an edgy desert wasteland. Pharaoh's Quest has plenty of sand and desert colored blocks, Middle Zealand has stone buildings and armor that can be repurposed, and the Old West is, yep, more desert pieces.

So anything that was in the area around Bricksburg, Finn nuked and conglomerated into his Apocalypseburg design. However, as the classic space on the back wall appears to be untouched, it's likely Finn saw no need to mess with any properties that weren't in the space he wanted to work with.

In the first movie, Finn's dad is startled that Batman is among the Fellowship of Strangers.

The Man Upstairs: What am I holding here?

Finn: It's a battleship.

The Man Upstairs: No, it's a hodgepodge that's what it is. What's Batman doing on it?

I believe that this line implies that Gotham, which is not pictured on Business's map (although there are a few unlabeled areas, I feel like Gotham would rival Bricksburg's size and would be acknowledged) is far enough away from Bricksburg that The Man Upstairs doesn't understand why he'd be in the city.

I think that Gotham was not added to the Apocalypseburg conglomerate, as it didn't take up space that Finn wanted to use for Apocalypseburg and it didn't have pieces he needed. The only reason Finn grabbed Batman from Gotham for The Lego Movie 2's game plotline is simply because Batman was important to the plot he made when he was a kid that he now wants to wrap up. He grabbed Alfred as well because, let's admit it, apocalypse Alfred is a funny concept. And the way Finn plays him, Batman needs someone to order around!

So, Gotham is just fine guys. Dick is waiting for his dad to come back from visiting his old stomping grounds with his guardian Barbara Gordon, and the Joker makes sure to send Batsy plenty of hate mail. They're okay.

#the lego movie 2 #long post #theory #headcanon #the lego batman movie #lego batman #robin #tlm finn

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cerise-on-top · 2 years

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Ok this might be a some kind of continue of the previous ask

Ok imagine batter and Bad batter just somehow got to their world as well and it's during the winter and it happened during the time where Ghost was having a bit of fun teasing y/n something like this (mind you this idea came after I read the story for the third time so it's random)

Y/N: Ghost stay away from me

Ghost: oh come I know how much you fucking adore hugs (comes closer )

Y/N: no I am not going to turned into a ghost just yet

Then batter and bad batter just literally falls on top of ghost . After sometimes bad batter , batter and Y/N cuddling together to keep each other warm . Ghost obviously wants to join (and maybe slightly jealous) but pretend he doesn't want to . Then Y/N somehow managed to find a solution so he can join as well.

Also bonus in the summer the brothers won't leave his side and use him as a cooler after Y/N told them that he is like a life size ice cube .

*clucks tongue* Nice. Goofy goobers give me life, and this is like a 5 course meal! Sorry about the fact that the cuddling part is rather short, though!

Batter Trio and Reader Cuddling for Warmth

Notes: a lot of swearing

Another day, so cold and uncomfortable, closely followed by the night, its nurturing nature capable of freezing anyone’s blood. Summer and autumn had both bad you goodbye in their own ways, with the memories of warmer days wrapping you in a thin blanket of hope. In order to not only survive, but also live, one must keep going towards the light of the mellow heat one seeks out innately. And yet that, which one desires, will often be met with outward resistance, making one’s wishes almost unobtainable.

Bundled up on the couch, you glared at your roommate making your life miserable. “Ghost, I swear, if you get any closer to me with your cold ass I can and will kill you again.”

The fiend was approaching yet again, disregarding any and all threats aimed at him. “Oh come on, I know how much you fucking adore your shitty little hugs. Now come here and get some, fuckwad!”

Rolling off your sofa, you got on your feet, your blanket, soft as silk and warm as the rays of the sun, shielding you from the attacker creeping ever closer. Your weapons of choice were your words and wits, neither of which seemed to faze your opponent much, Ghost seemed to prefer open combat, opting to dash towards you. Yet, his violence proved futile due to some unforeseen circumstances. God hath mercy on you once again.

Lunging forward, two figures, both more formidable in size than him, had fallen on top of him. Whence they came from was unbeknownst to either of you. And in that moment, such trivial things were irrelevant, for you had won another war. Allowing your arm to leave your cape of security, you pointed your finger towards Ghost. “Ha! Suck my ass, loser!”

Disregarding his groaning, you took a good look at the beings saving you from hypothermia. While both of them seemed quite a bit lost in their own ways at first, it was your warm and welcoming expression, a grin stretching from ear to ear, which pulled them back to this reality they were not used to. “Bad! Batter! Holy shit! You actually came back! This is truly a Christmas, Hanukkah, Yule and everything else miracle combined!”

A scene rivalling that of Omelas, you jumped in Bad and Batter’s direction, arms wide open so you can hold onto them to cherish this moment further. Their reciprocation came at different times, with the latter hesitating a bit longer, but ultimately complying as well. A heartfelt reunion, disrupted only by the one taking the suffering. “Ayo, can you hug it out somewhere else?? My spine’s breaking like a kit-kat here, which says a lot considering I don’t even fucking have one!”

Once all the formalities had been put aside, the chill of the winter has, once again, settled into your home. Although your heater was present, its capabilities were limited, to say the least, your blankets providing more service of keeping you warm during the colder months especially. Whereas this usually wouldn’t be an issue, the fact that there are four people in your home, one of which had reptilian features, was. Coupling this with a couch meant for few people left you with one option for the most part: cuddling for warmth.

It was surprisingly nice, actually. With Bad needing the most warmth, he was placed in between you and Batter, the three of you slowly chattering away.

“...and before everything got distorted, there was a tower surrounded by golden trees with a bird like Japhet, quack.” Raspy as usual, it was nice to hear Bad’s voice again.

“Indeed there was. While incapable of speech like ours, it was evident it had sapience, much like us. Its flight was remarkable in that it left behind an array of colours usually found only when the rain meets the sun.” Marvellous tales, which, had it not been for your own adventures, you would not have believed.

As Batter elaborated on the pinions of the creature, Bad glanced over to his older brother, sitting at the table, his face resting in his hand. Empty may his eye sockets have been, but this was not enough to deceive his blood brother. “You want to join in too.”

“Why in the crapsnorting world would I want to do that?? I’m not here for that kind of pussy shit! Plus if I did everyone would freeze to fucking death.”

“Oh, is that the only problem at hand?” You perked up. It was really hard to ignore either Ghost or Bad with their speaking habits of being rather loud. “Wait a sec, then.”

Your solution? A hoodie. A pink one, oversized for you. And considering Ghost was of rather short stature, it fit him perfectly, his expression of disdain making it all the better as well. Yet, before any complaints could leave his mouth, you simply dragged him into your cuddling session, which you so lovingly dubbed the “flesh pile”. Seeing this tiny ghost man next to his gigantic little brother was quite a treat. But, regardless of all the cursing and everyone's jabs at everyone else, it was quite an enjoyable night, with a lot of catching up happening.

#off (game)#off fangame #c/s/r #continue/stop/rise #batter x reader #ghost batter x reader #bad batter x reader #batter x player #ghost batter x player #bad batter x player #I'm gonna note down separate cuddling hcs for Bad and Ghost #and will write those eventually when I have less requests to write #or maybe something short in between #during the week when I can #to make up for the lack of cuddling in this one

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oraliefathdon4eternalia · 1 year

Text

Best KOTLC Character Tournament(?) Propaganda

Ahem.

Kenric and Oralie. Oralie and Kenric.

Consider.

At first glance, Kenric was the Council's resident Funny Guy™️ who had a crush on Oralie. Oralie was the pretty pink princess who could make no mistake.

But it turned out there was much more to both of them than met the eye.

Oralie

"Sometimes rebellion is the only course of wisdom." Oralie, Neverseen

In Book 4, Oralie immediately demonstrates that she is not a law-abiding Councillor who doesn't take risks and go outside her area of comfort to do what's right. She gives Sophie Kenric's cache to use as leverage. She makes another totally girlboss appearance later in the book, where she confirms to the Council what she did when she's found out, and supports Sophie throughout the scene.

"It is. I honored Kenric's last request. He feared Sophie would need protection - and he was right." - Oralie, after being asked if giving Sophie the cache was her doing

Oralie then hears Sophie out and fixes Exillium. How cool is that?

Silence followed her outburst, and Sophie braced for a lengthy lecture.

Instead Oralie whispered, "You're right. Exillium was originally created to be a center for alternative learning. I'm not sure how we lost sight of that, but... not anymore. Give me a list of everything they need, and I'll get it - you have my word."

"Just like that?" Sophie asked.

Oralie nodded. "Thank you for opening my eyes. Kenric would be so proud of you."

In Book 5, she again demonstrates that she's cooler than most give her credit for. ("Everyone always underestimates the quiet beauties," or something like that, Mr. Forkle, Neverseen)

Oralie sets up a meeting with Gethen where she and Sophie distract Gethen while Forkle takes a look inside Gethen's brain. Oralie does not respond to Gethen's Kenric-related provocations. Afterward, we watch her trying to figure out Forkle's other identities by asking him questions. ("Thank you for not making me pry that out of you through yes-or-no questions" - Oralie after Forkle gave her a good response) We don't know if she figured them out, but she did say she had some ideas.

"Well," Oralie said, standing and removing a pink-wanded pathfinder from her cape. "Family debates aren't really my area of expertise. But I do hope you won't go too hard on Sophie. She was perfectly safe in my castle. And she was wise to come to me."

-Oralie to Grady and Edaline, who were trying to decide how to punish Sophie after she snuck off to talk to Oralie

Oh, the pain. "Family debates aren't really my area of expertise," said Sophie's biological mother to Sophie's adopted parents. She also makes random motherly gestures throughout the books, which I'm not going into here, but I'm sure you'll remember some of the ones I'm thinking of.

In Book 7, you remember what Fallon said. And how Oralie turned pink. This was final confirmation of the fact that Kenric's "crush" was not one-sided. She gets teary throughout the series whenever Kenric's death is mentioned, but that could've been interpreted as close friendship before. (Speaking of which, remember how she was leaning on her goblin bodyguards like they were the only things holding her up at Kenric's Planting? And her eyes were nothing more than puffy red slits)

In Book 8, Oralie

does Sophie's makeup

flings a powder puff at Bronte and tells him to tough it out for now in the pink room

is revealed to be Sophie's mother. I have a lot of thoughts about this that I'm not able to articulate... Just think about the heartbreaking Sophie-and-Oralie relationship and how Oralie said it seemed like the only way she'd ever be able to have a daughter.

Speaking of Unlocked, the cache memory! Kenric and Oralie would've stepped down to have a family but couldn't because of Oralie's daughter who Kenric knew about and helped Oralie protect!... When Oralie donated her DNA, she probably didn't realize the full consequences. That she would still worry and care about Sophie as much as she would've if she'd raised her. And now she never got to raise her daughter. She only saw her when she was 13 in elvin years (she was 12.5 in human ones, but +9 everybody), and not much again after that. Sophie is all grown up now, and now that she knows, she hates Oralie.

...[A] pucker formed between Oralie's perfect eyebrows. "Is something wrong?" Sophie asked, since forehead puckers were rarely good news.

Oralie shook her head. "Of course not! You just look so..."

"So...?" Sophie prompted.

"It's hard to explain. You've changed since the first day I met you. You're... not a little girl anymore. Which is how it's supposed to be. I just wish..." Oralie bit her lip and looked away. "Never mind. We should get started."

-before she did Sophie's makeup

In Book 9, she is revealed to have a mind map! LOVE stalker Oralie! This was a welcome reveal after the guessing-Forkle's-indentities bit in Book 5. She. Is. Investigating everything on her own! While everyone thinks she's nothing more than pink and sparkles and a fragile Empath! WOO!

Speaking of being a fragile Empath, that's a whole OTHER topic I can't articulate in words that @official-kenralie-fanbase probably has more coherent thoughts about

I'll wrap this up by saying that Oralie is a pink sparkle QUEEN who is smarter and more powerful than most KOTLC characters give her credit for. We don't get characters like her as often as I would like. There's too much "you're either strong or girly" going around imo

Kenric

I said some stuff about him already in the Oralie section, about their relationship and about Kenric's relationship with Sophie. I mean, imagine wanting to retire with your gf so you can have a family and then finding out that your gf has a biological child that's the reason you can't retire. And then treating the child like your own after she comes to the Lost Cities because you know who the child is. But Oralie doesn't know you know.

Kenric. Cares. SO MUCH. I can't think about it without dissolving into a puddle of tears

I know Kenric's not going to win against Elwin and Kesler, but I'm putting out this propaganda just because. Everyone is sleeping on this guy, including Shannon. Giving such a great character 0 page time and killing him off early. Come on! There's not even enough material for an essay about him, so his section is short.

Kenric and Oralie's relationship development after meeting each other (though I still don't believe they necessarily NEEDED to be enemies-to-lovers) >>>>>>

Relationships to think about

Oralie x Kenric

Oralie & Sophie

Oralie & Bronte

Kenric, Oralie, & Bronte

Kenric & Sophie

Oralie vs Alina

#councillor oralie #councillor kenric #kotlc #wow this is over 1k words #insane

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goji-pilled · 2 years

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You’ve been waiting! I’ve been writing! Now I’m here to present that ever so dear OC you’ve been waiting for me to make to you.

Now without further ado, I shall present her!

Name: Mizuki Hoshi

Weapon of choice: Scythe

Why a scythe you ask? Well simple, scythes are cool! And the one I imagined for Mizuki is even cooler as I envisioned the blade of the scythe being in a more crescent moon shape than a regular scythe’s blade!

Magical Girl Outfit Color Scheme: Black and White

Why black and white you ask? Simple, they work well together. That’s literally all.

Wish: To be able to see all the wonders of space

Mizuki has an incredible fondness for space. It’s beautiful, mesmerizing, and a getaway from the troubles of her life. Now she gets to experience it all, this couldn’t possibly backfire of course. …Right?

Personality/Family Relationships

Mizuki is relatively quiet girl, who keeps to herself for the most part. Which leaves her incredibly lonely, as she doesn’t really have friends at school because of this. She does however have her lovely little sister, who always admires her for her knowledge of space. Her parents always tell her that “A girl your age should have plenty of friends at school!”, Mizuki has learned to tune them out when they’re like that though.

Normal Design Description

She looks like your everyday normal schoolgirl. She has straight black hair that’s shoulder length, and she has a a star shaped hair accessory she always wears. She’s also decently tall for being 15, coming in at a height of 5’1. She’s moderately skinny too, which she takes pride in. She has poor eyesight though, so she wears glasses.

Magical Girl Design Description

The top part of her outfit is similar to Homura’s but not exactly. If you were to get rid of the coat she wears, the ribbon, the collar, and then give her short sleeves you’d have something similar. She also wears two white arm sleeves that go up to her elbow, they’re both white. She wears a white skirt and leggings to balance the black of the upper portions. She wears black boots as well. Her soul gem is located on the side of her skirt. Now for my favorite part of her design I imagined. She has one of THESE!

A SHOULDER CAPE THING!! It’s so sick, I know. Big fan of it.

Abilities

She has all the basic abilities a magical girl would have. Enhanced strength, speed, durability yeah yeah. She has one funky little trick though, she can infuse her scythe with magic to allow it to shoot a few star shaped “bullets” that are quite sharp. I think it’s quite unique.

Backstory

A regular day gone peculiar. It’s not exactly everyday you get a strange cat like creature talking to you about wishes and magical girls. Mizuki was just on her way home from the planetarium, a place she holds close to her heart, it wasn’t her intention to come across this creature. Or did this creature come across her? Of course however, Mizuki inquired the creature about its “wish making”, an opportunity like this doesn’t happen hardly ever after all. After the creature explained all the details, Mizuki could hardly hold back her innermost desire. And thus, the contract was sealed, and Mizuki was set on a path she could never walk away from.

Fun Facts!

Did you know that Mizuki actually means “beautiful moon” if you search up its meaning?

Mizuki is a humongous nerd on all things space and star related. You could ask her about a specific constellation and she could tell you everything about it as an example.

Mizuki’s grades in school are often low. Not because she’s dumb, but because she’s always reading on more space related books in her quest for knowledge.

Mizuki’s most prized possession is a telescope she got when she was 12. It’s very important to her. As a matter of fact too, her wish actually affected her telescope, giving it magical properties so she could really see all the wonders of space like she wanted.

Mizuki and her sister often sneak off into the planetarium without their parent’s permission.

Extra Fun Fact! What you’ve read up to this point is actually the SECOND draft I ended up writing, because when I was working on my first one I had unknowingly was making it a post and not an ask, so I copied and pasted it into my notes. Here’s the funny thing though, when I tried to paste it into the asks here it didn’t work! Fun right? Though in a way I’m thankful for it, as I revised some things on this one I wasn’t exactly content with in the first draft.

It’s the end and we gotta wrap this up now. Not without saying a few thanks first though. First up, you Nyom. You totally enabled and encouraged me to make up a magical girl OC for Amalthea and for that you have my gratitude. And second, the MK-S anon who makes frequent appearances in your asks inbox. They gave me a really good base for this OC with their amazing SCP Amalthea ask, which I’m grateful for. This OC of mine wouldn’t of been nearly as good without their amazing mind. And that’s that, thank you for your time. As usual, I’d love to hear your thoughts too.

(One more random note. I’m no artist by any means but I should like totally try and doodle Mizuki and Amalthea sometime lmao)

YES FINALLY IT DROPPED LETS GOOOOO

#felix answers #long post #also welcome to tumblr #where things just are a bit broken lmao #love to see the creativity though hehe

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the-otleus-parlor-archived · 2 years

Note

💭 (idv-thespians)

“I only really know Mister Liam and Miss Andrea…” Amy paused, placing her hands on her face. “Both of them are the best though! Mister Liam’s a lot of fun, and he’s really funny too! Although he makes some poor decisions sometimes… like, stabbing Mister Red. That just… was kinda silly.” Amy laughed nervously. “He kinda… reminds me of my big brother, before everything happened. Although Hikari would never. Stab anyone.” She narrowed her eyes. “And Miss Andrea is very nice and pretty and she makes good food. She reminds me of mama… I don’t really… get along with the adults in the hallways, but Miss Andrea is like… different. She’s cooler :D”

“I don’t really know that much about the others… most of them seem nice though! Miss Elaine looks super nice, and she’s a librarian I think? Maybe she knows some good bedtime stories? We don’t. Have many books here, and all the books are adult ones, so boring. Although it feels like Elaine is trying to… hide from someone or something? Hugo seems shy, poor guy… he looks like he’d be a nice guy though. Quinn seems boring, sorry ;3;” Amy giggled a bit. “Also for Mister Shiloh… I don’t know. No one seems to like him. But I kind of… pity him. I don’t know why.”

…

“I want a cape like Liam’s-“

#mod ghost #idv #idv oc #idv askblog #idv oc askblog #fffiii #idv-thespians #amy answers #today on you see the world through the eyes of a child:#if Amy ever meets Shiloh… oh god so many red flags are gonna go off that poor Amy is going to miss. completely.#this was fun to do- little Amy mini rambles. gets deep for a second. and IMMEDIATELY goes off topic. lovely.

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frostyreturns · 2 years

Text

Frosty Ruins Captain Britain And The Mighty Defenders

Before I even dive into this comic Just from looking at the cover I have complaints about it. #1 I can already tell this is going to be a socjus all female reimagining of a previous collection of franchises and #2 I have no idea who most of the characters on the cover are. I recognize She-Hulk and I'm aware loosely of the female version of Black Panther but the vaguely Spider-Man looking one I've never seen before, the costume looks horrible. The costume looks like a metaphor for the character...it looks like someone skinned Spider-Man and then wore his skinsuit like a cape and a hood. Which sounds a lot cooler than it looks. Then there is an ethnically ambiguous browinish woman who could be arab, spanish, black or Indian in the middle that looks like she's from Assassin's Creed if the assassin's wore hoodies and sweatpants. She's carrying a glowing weapon I can't tell if it's supposed to be a lightsaber like weapon or a metal sword. I don't know who she is supposed to be but I can tell from looking at this that there is no Captain Britain on the cover of this Captain Britain comic. None of the characters even look like a female version of the character. And then we have Iron Man without the man part. This is going to be fucking terrible isn't it.

The comic begins with the premise that the multiverse was destroyed and all the heroes you've been reading about for generations all failed so here's some new ones. It's not enough to rewrite and remake everything, they have to also blow up the universe and kill everything else and reduce all past work and all past heroes to dead failures.

The first story begins by trying to tear down the Tony Stark character, it begins with him giving away his suit to a guy I've never heard of and who doesn't get much of an introduction at all. Tony then goes on to say he didn't really create the iron man suit and that he deserves to die without it and how the world doesn't need him...for some reason that's not talked about.

Then we skip ahead 10 years Tony is dead and this completely unknown character he gave his suit to is giving some flowery speech about how he used the suit to solve all of the worlds problems. They seem to be criticizing Tony for developing weapons like the Iron Man suit to protect people...but don't explain how this new character uses his suit...which is still a weapon to do anything different they just vaguely say he used it to defend the world from hate, want and fear...unlike Tony who...didn't? And by doing...something...that's definitely not the same thing Tony did he's essentially eliminated poverty, crime, inequality and cured every disease for free! And is now ready to go to other planets too. Oh and they made a self sustaining metropolis to end climate change...because even when the writers are magically solving all the worlds problems...we still need to upheave society to save the world from weather. Oh but guess what that was a dream and Dr Doom actually rules the universe like a god king and a tyrant. Which makes this dream sequence even fucking dumber, the writers in a dream within a fantasy science fiction comic book...still has global warming being a thing. That should tell you everything you need to know about the mindset of these doomsayers.

So then we get introduced to She-Hulk who is one of Dr Dooms "Thors". Which from context they seem to have made Thor into a kind of green lantern corps kind of thing, which is weird and stupid. They talk about how each sector has their own Thor. She Hulk is carrying around a "gavel of thor" and does enforcing of Dr Doom's laws which include punishing people for heresy against Doom. Oh and she calls it a gavel because her muscles are the real hammer, yeah strap in for cringe. So they essentially stuffed three different characters into She Hulk, she's the Hulk, she's also Thor and also she's a green lantern. And she's doing the bidding of Doom... So she's a villain? I have no idea what the fuck is going on it's only been a few pages and this plot is already convoluted and nonsensical. Even for a comic this is fucking retarded.

Then we meet the spiderman character who seems to be wearing the Prowler costume underneath a spider cape and hood, they call him Spider Hero which sounds super fucking stupid...but then he corrects She Hulk and says Spider-Man but then the character introduction box at the bottom calls him Spider Hero as well. So great inttroduction everyone you had one job to do, tell us who this stupid new character is and you failed. I read your introduction and still don't know what this gay new hero is called.

Then this stupid new spider-man/hero says this dumbass line "If I had Spider sense it would be tingling" lmao what the fuck kind of line is that, if you dont have spider sense why would you know what it is? and why would he phrase it the way the original spider-man that doesn't exist anymore did. They even go on to say he has no idea what spider sense is. This line is a logical and metaphysical impossibility. You cannot discuss a concept you have no conception of and they did it for a cheap nod at the character whose corpse they are desecrating.

I feel like I'm walking everyone step by step through this story but I can't read more than a sentence or two in this piece of shit comic without it being astoundingly dumb. The very next line is she Hulk complaining about trigger hapy fascists...but moments ago they claimed there was no crime? And she had just threatened a man for speaking heresy against her master Doom... and she’s calling other people fascists?

Now we meet the new Iron Man who's not a man...and they call her...get this "Kid Rescue". lmfao holy shit... comics in general have some ridiculous names...but even for comics these names are so bad. These are the dumbest names out of a collection of dumb names. This character isn’t even a succesor to Iron Man either she’s a succesor to a succesor who we only met a few pages ago. These writers can't be serious, this is a joke right nobody actually earnestly thought this was good, they can't have.

Okay here's the best part...the woman who looked like she was from Assassin's Creed is a female muslim doctor...and she's the new Captain Britain. Oh my fuck, no way. They made Captain Britain...the big buff english dude who wore a union jack costume to represent the patriotic british version of Captain America...is now a muslim woman in a hijab. Oh and also Britain doesn't even exist in this world either...lmfao. There is no way to possibly have screwed up the character anymore. It's as unfaithful and bad as it can be which makes me think there's no way it wasn't intentional. There is no part of me that believes for a second that this comic was made in earnest. It was made to be politically inflammatory, it was made to piss off the fans they expect to buy it. They probably had the press release where they called fans racist, sexist xenophobes typed up before this comic was even written. So yeah Britain... the English nation here is your fantasy story...Britain was wiped out and doesn't exist...and now your new hero is a muslim woman...and not even a muslim woman who takes up the Captain Britain mantle...she'll just wear her plain white hijab.

This is one of the worst comics I've ever read, and with lines like "hello everybody look at all my guns" it only gets worse and worse the longer you read it and the more you think about it. At one point Captian islam starts speaking like yoda for no reason at all. "I've got healing powers, I can take him apart, get the bullet out save him I can."

The anti-gun stuff is so weird from some of these people. I hate guns but I'll fight with a sword...both will kill someone what's the fucking difference. It's easy to be anti-gun when you have magical powers. Yeah sure when everyone can shoot lasers out of their hands or blow up building by punching them...then when can get rid of guns how about that?

The premise then becomes this team of heroes who has lived under Doom for what we assume is their whole lives is now teaming up to fight him out of nowhere...because a strange foreigner showed up and said Doom isn’t really a god. And then instead of fighting doom, they fight another city state that’s rebelling against Doom for some reason. None of this makes any sense, toddlers could have come up with a more coherent storyline, and they’d probably tell it better too.

And the comic ends with them introducing this character that seems to be a blend of ripoffs between robo cop, judge dredd and the punisher. Especially Judge Dredd, they have him in a Dredd like helmet, working in a mega city one type city working with a psychic partner...if Disney didn't own everything then someone would be able to sue for plagiarism. This was without a doubt one of the worst comics I've ever read. It reads not only like it was written by a retard...not only like it was written by a child but by a retarded child who is a political idealogue. It's propaganda written by retarded children for absolutely nobody because there is no audience for this. It's like it was written for regressively left women who hate comic books...a hell of an audience to try to sell comic books to. To typical comic book fans it's an affront to everything they enjoy...it's the desecration and defacement of the things they love. To political opponents it's an idiotic, hamfisted screed with no coherent point. To people who agree with the writers politically...it's a poorly written comic with a terrible premise and an even worse plot...which is probably why this only has two issues. This was cancerously bad on all levels, it has absolutely no redeeming qualities...the art style...it could be worse I guess. That's the closest I have to a positive comment about this comic.

This reads like a comic that's not real but is something that someone like Steven Crowder wrote as a joke to mock how bad comics have gotten. It reads like a satire of modern comics but it just isn't it's just that horrible. If I were grading this like an elemntary school teacher this is what I would write at the bottom of this comic in red pen...

F- see me after class you clearly didn't read the assignment instructions

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