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hxneekyuu · 3 years

Text

falling in love || a playlist

>> because falling and realizing he’s fallen are two very different things.

genres : haikyuu x f!reader, fluff, angst, slightly suggestive

a/n : i got this idea after seeing the n/sfw version called “songs they would fuck you to” or something??? i literally cant find the post anymore so pls someone tag me or send me an ask if you know what im talking about so i can give that writer credit for their post -- just wanted to do a kind of slice of life version of that idea!! idk why but this really took me 2 weeks to finish for absolutely no reason, so i hope you like it!!

daichi -- you got something x rochelle

you got a something, making me weak // you got a something, i’m on my knees

“what are the odds daichi’s girlfriend is completely made up, and he just doesn’t want to tell us?” asahi laughs at suga’s comment, but daichi only picks up a handful of sand and chucks it at them, a scowl set deep on his features. he had told you a few days ago that he and the guys were going to be spending their saturday at the beach, the first nice day in a while -- he had been trying to tell you that he wanted you to finally meet his friends, and you had seemed really excited at the prospect. but you’re late, and while daichi knows his friends are just teasing, he can’t help but feel anxious.

“are you sure she’s coming?” asahi doesn’t mean it as a quip -- he genuinely is asking because he can tell this is important. but daichi isn’t listening. he’s staring down the stretch of beach at the person that’s stumbling in the sand, trying to cross the distance to him almost frantically. you look stressed, and he knows you’re probably freaking out about how late you are, but when you look up and finally make eye contact, the smile you give him is so bright and genuine that he feels like he’s the only one there.

“i’m sure.”

suga -- freakin’ out on the interstate x briston maroney

you got a lot on your mind // and your heart, it looks just like mine

he’s not sure when he falls asleep, but when he comes to, he knows the ink from his homework has probably copy-pasted itself onto his right cheek. it’s been week after week of deadlines and assignments, the stress of third year finally catching up to him. an unplanned nap was bound to happen at some point with the way he was staying up later and later each night, barely getting 4 hours if he was lucky. he’s ready to lift his head and get back to work, but when he opens his eyes, all he sees is you. you’re sitting next to him, headphones in as you work on your own assignments, completely unaware that he’s awake. as he studies you closely, feeling calm for the first time in weeks, he decides that maybe another few minutes won’t kill him.

asahi -- apocalypse x cigarettes after sex

when you’re all alone, i will reach for you // when you’re feeling low, i will be there too

he’d had a hard practice -- he’d messed up so many serves and missed enough spikes to make him feel like going home and forgetting this whole day had happened. he can’t meet anyone’s eyes because he knows they know how he’s feeling, and that’s just embarrassing. he even waits until everyone’s left the club room for the night, having told daichi and suga to go ahead of him, that he’d walk home alone. sitting in the club room all alone, he can’t help but sigh in frustration.

finally pulling himself to his feet, he grabs his bag and heads for the door, locking it behind him once he’s outside. turning toward the door, he almost yells when he sees you standing there, staring down at your shoes as you wait. when you had become karasuno’s manager, you’d made a point to tell them that they could rely on you for anything, but he really hadn’t thought you’d meant this. looking up and meeting his eyes with a smile, you gesture toward the stairs and don’t say a word about practice. he won’t realize for a long time just how much he appreciates you in this moment.

“come on, slowpoke, i’ve been waiting to walk home with you.”

kageyama -- the less i know the better x tame impala

then i heard they slept together // oh, the less i know the better

“you need to tell her before i tell her for you.” it’s an empty threat, but he aims a punch at the side of hinata’s head for good measure. they’re standing at the door to his classroom, pretending to be busy talking about something so he can have an excuse to look at you. you’re standing in the hall not too far away, laughing about something with your friends, and it takes all of his self-restraint not to confess right then and there. you don’t even know who he is, and he’s just about ready to risk public humiliation for you. he doesn’t know what’s happened to him in the weeks since he’d first laid eyes on you, but he’s not sure how much longer he can deal with this torture.

“dude, she is right there. seriously, you need to just tell her. so what if she says no and you’re embarrassed for a few days? at least you’ll be getting it over with. there’s nothing that could be worse than that -- oh.” almost as if the universe is playing some kind of cruel game, both kageyama and hinata watch as the door to the next classroom slides open, making way for a certain 6’2” blond middle blocker to step into the hall and call out to you. when you smile and wrap your arms around his waist, silently asking him to bend down so you can plant a small kiss on his cheek, kageyama grits his teeth and looks away, locking eyes with a flustered hinata.

“that. that’s worse.”

hinata -- i’m so tired… x lauv, troye sivan

hurts like heaven, lost in the sound // Buzzcut Season, like you’re still around // can’t unmiss you, but i need you now

he can feel you next to him, curled up into his chest, your breathing even. he can feel your loving gaze on the side of his face as he helps you cook dinner and even more so when you two are on the couch watching netflix -- you’d always had a habit of watching him more than the show. he can feel your skin on his in the shower as you drag your nails through his hair, scrubbing the shampoo through his locks and laughing when he starts to splutter under the rush of hot water. he can feel your lips on his, your embrace warm and safe after a bad day. he can feel it all like it’s still happening.

but when he opens his eyes, nothing is there to greet him but the empty spot in his bed to match the equally empty apartment. you’re still abroad, just as you have been for months now. and no matter how many good morning texts and late night facetime calls he has to look forward to, it doesn’t change the fact that you’re still not here with him. you’re still gone. and he’s starting to realize he can’t feel much of anything anymore.

nishinoya -- ego x milky chance

and i guess that she’s the strongest // that i’ve ever seen yet, ever seen yet

“come quick, yuu! there’s a girl outside standing up to those bullies in the year above us!” nishinoya rushes to the window, taking his place among his classmates as they all watch you, standing your ground out in front of the school. you’re hovering over a boy who’s been pushed to the ground, his hand and knee already bleeding lightly. your arms are crossed, eyes squinted in determination as you stare down two boys that are older and much bigger than you. he finds his chest tightening with worry -- how can a ten-year-old girl take down two bullies? why isn’t anyone helping? shouldn’t someone get a teach--

“well come on, then, you jerks! i thought you guys were supposed to be scary, but you look like a couple of wimps to me, picking on someone smaller than you!” his classmates start snickering, the bullies noticing that they’ve got an audience, but nishinoya’s breath has caught in his throat, and all he can see is you and that look in your eye -- he needs to know you.

tanaka -- perfect places x lorde

all the nights spent off our faces // trying to find these perfect places // what the fuck are perfect places anyway?

he pushes the nameless girl up against the wall, lips finding hers in a rush of alcohol and adrenaline. he doesn’t care about her, and he knows damn well that she doesn’t care about him either. you don’t go to a frat party looking for love. that’s why, when he pulls away and opens his eyes to look at her, the guilt he feels isn’t for her or that fact that she’d likely be going home alone tonight. it’s for you, completely unaware of his feelings or his fantasies. because it’s not her face staring back at him. it’s yours.

ennoshita -- cigarette daydreams x cage the elephant

so sweet, with a mean streak // nearly brought me to my knees

“dude, seriously! we’ve come to this coffee shop every day for like the last two weeks -- the chocolate croissants cannot be that good!” he shushes tanaka angrily, shoving him through the door and to the far end of the room, forcing him into the booth by the window and dropping his bag on the other side. he tells himself, and anyone that asks to be honest, that he needs to focus because finals are coming up. he tells himself that the ambiance at this cafe is calming, that he can always get work done here without a problem. he tells himself this as if he doesn’t have a mountain of work that most definitely has not been getting done in the last two weeks, the deadlines piling up to the point where he’s sure he’s going to be suffering very soon. but none of that matters -- ‘none of it matters’, he tells himself as he approaches the counter, meeting your playful eyes with a nervous smile.

“ennoshita-san, you’re back! should i get you the usual?”

tsukishima -- know your worth x khalid, disclosure

find someone you know will put you first // find someone who loves you at your worst

he’s at your door not even ten minutes after you’d texted him. it had been easy enough to get past the security guard in front of your dorm -- he’s spent more nights here than at his own dorm, which he’s sure his party animal roommate is thankful for. but tonight, tsukishima’s not here to avoid a 2am rager, the “he left me for her” text settling like poison in his veins the longer he thinks about it. he’s angry -- beyond angry -- but he knows to store it away for later. later, he can find that piece of shit and release the worst of tsukishima kei’s sharp tongue. right now, he can hear you crying on the other side of the wall, and it’s all he can do not to bust the door down.

as he’s bringing his hand up to knock, the tissue box and pack of oreos shifting in the bag around his wrist, the door swings open, revealing your roommate. she barely spares him a glance as she shuffles past him into the hall, patting his shoulder as she goes.

“she’s all yours, tsukki.”

yamaguchi -- are you bored yet x wallows (feat. clairo)

’cause we could stay at home and watch the sunset // but i can’t help from asking “are you bored yet?”

it’s just past 5pm, the soft glow of the afternoon really tempting his inner desire to take a nap, but there’s something eating away at him. when he looks down at you, head in his lap as you read a manga, the part of his heart that used to be filled with nothing but love feels now like it’s being drowned in doubt. is he still enough for you? are you getting tired of having him in your life? should he change to match your idea of the perfect boyfriend?

“hey.” he’s snapped out of his thoughts, eyes focusing in on your face and realizing that you’re peeking over the top of your manga to look at him. he tilts his head to one side, the ghost of a smile forming on his face when you mimic his movement playfully. you pull down the manga just a little bit more, revealing the rest of your face, and reach for the hand he has tangled in your hair. bringing it down to your lips, and that ghost of a smile becomes a full, genuine one when you whisper a kiss into his knuckles.

“i love you.”

kuroo -- one dance x drake

strength and guidance // all that i’m wishing for my friends

you’re throwing back another shot, setting the glass down on his coffee table when you’re done. he knows you’ve had a bad week at work, if the “i’m coming over, let’s drink” text had been anything to go by. this is the way you two had bonded in college, meeting up whenever one of you was having a bad time and drinking until your livers would cry. of course, you would follow it up with healthier coping mechanisms the next day, often spending all day together talking things through properly and eating greasy food for the hangovers.

it had been years since you’d started this little tradition, but as you turn up the volume on his speaker and sway to the music by yourself in the middle of his living room, he starts to imagine that maybe this could turn into something more.

kenma -- sunflower x post malone, swae lee

you’re the sunflower // i think your love would be too much

he’s not sure how he’d actually managed to convince you to pretend to be with him. it hadn’t even taken that long -- he’d barely let out that he was starting to feel overwhelmed with the amount of viewers that would hit on him during his streams when you were agreeing to his idea. as he sits in front of his computer, explaining in a low voice that the roommate he’d talked about before was actually his girlfriend, he wonders how the hell you could possibly be okay with this. but more than that, when you “interrupt” and walk into the room with a glass of water for him as an excuse to place your lips gingerly on his, the chat going absolutely crazy at the display, he wonders why it can’t be real.

lev -- death is in the air x sakima

is my heart breaking // or do i have one at all

he’s sitting across from you in a diner that’s otherwise empty, watching you stir the coffee in front of you. he knows you will never bring the cup to your lips in the span of this conversation -- it’s just a nervous habit, a need to keep your hands busy while you talk. he can hear your words, but they sound muffled, as if he’s underwater. this entire moment feels like it’s happening to someone else, but when he pinches the inside of his thigh, you’re still there, telling him what he never thought he’d hear. that things aren’t working out between you -- that you’re tired of him being a player and coming close enough to cheating that it almost hurts more than if he would just do it already. he hears all the ways he’s been the kind of person he’d always hated, but he doesn’t say a word. he hasn’t said a word since he sat down, not even five minutes prior. is five minutes really all you need to end things?

he doesn’t move, not even when he hears the bell above the door ring, your footsteps fading as the door closes behind you.

yaku -- sucker x jonas brothers

i’m a sucker for all the subliminal things // no one knows about you (about you), about you (about you)

it’s 3:37am on a tuesday night -- or is it wednesday? -- and he should be in bed or at least in the comfort of his own home. but he’s not. he’s not home, and he knows he’s really pushing his luck because his father wakes up for work every day at 4am, but he just can’t bring himself to be responsible. he knows he’s going to be so screwed when his 6:30 alarm goes off, but at this rate he thinks he might be watching the sun rise with you. you’re in the exact same situation, so who is he to cut the night short if you haven’t yet? even if you do look as exhausted as he feels, there’s a happiness on your face that he feels partially responsible for, and he’s not ready to give that up yet.

so he lets himself be dragged around the empty streets of tokyo, feeling like nothing else matters but this moment with you, at 3:37am on a tuesday night.

oikawa -- pristine x mantaraybryn

and that all this time i was trying to be // james dean, pristine, suntanned, underwater // living an american dream

glass shatters against the far wall, and he’s not quite sure when he’d picked up the bowl from the coffee table. he’s alone in the main room of the apartment, almost vibrating with rage. there are tears falling from his eyes, but he’s not sure when that happened either. all he can think about is the humiliation he’d felt, the bitter pain that had filled him when his father had expressed his disappointment at the way his son’s life had turned out.

“... should have stayed in Japan… real job....” oikawa stares at the shelf above the TV, lined with every award he’d spent his entire life earning. before he can think properly about it, he’s across the room, swinging his arm toward the shelf, ready to destroy everything he’d ever worked for --

“tooru?” spinning around to face you, panic fills his teary eyes as he realizes he really wasn’t alone in the apartment this whole time. you’d been there, probably just doing work in your own room with your headphones in. the sound of the bowl breaking against the wall had probably caught your attention, and now he feels bad for ruining the space you two share. but you’re not looking at the mess. you’re only looking at him, concern lacing your eyes, and for the first time in a long time, he feels safe.

iwaizumi -- eastside x benny blanco (with halsey & khalid)

we can do anything if we put our minds to it // take your whole life, then you put a line through it

“what are you doing here?” he says it without looking back, having heard you scaling the side of his house as soon as you’d gotten there. when you settle down next to him, legs hanging off the roof, he reaches over and takes your hand in his, a sense of calm falling over him for the first time all day. he feels you scoot closer, leaning your head on his shoulder as he wraps an arm around you and presses a kiss to your temple. you two sit on top of his house like this, staring out at the city together just as you’d been doing since you were kids and needed to escape, even if just for a few minutes.

“your mom called me -- said she hadn’t seen you in hours. i told her i’d take care of it.” he smiles to himself. he should have known you’d find him. you always do.

matsukawa -- you get me so high x the neighbourhood

we should stick together // you’re my best friend, i’ll love you forever

he can see you across the party, looking annoyed and a little impatient as a guy steps into your path, trying to chat you up. whatever’s on your mind has you peering around the frat boy, and you wave him off without a second glance as you search for something -- or someone. he’s persistent, though, and matsukawa has half a mind to save you, knowing that having a best friend with a frame as large as his has gotten you out of trouble with guys before. but before he can pass his drink off to makki, your eyes are locking onto his own, and it feels like the world has stopped. you’ve never smiled at him like that before.

hanamaki -- on melancholy hill x gorillaz

’cause you are my medicine // when you’re close to me

“you know, hanamaki, you visit my office hours every week, but it never really feels like you need help.” he pulls his eyes away from the whiteboard littered with your handwriting, meeting your eyes just long enough to feel exposed. you’re giving him a sweet smile, but the look in your eye is anything but innocent. you see right through him, he knows that much, but he’s never going to admit that he knowingly ditches party plans with his roommates every friday just so he can see you for an hour. he’d never tell you that -- just like he’d never tell you that he knows you’re pretending to be worried about his progress just like he is, that he knows you can see how good his are grades, too. instead of mentioning any of that, he shoots you a quick smirk, cocking his head to the side in mock-confusion.

“i’m not sure i know what you’re getting at, y/n.”

kyoutani -- chill x rayana jay

baby, can i be real? can i be real with you? // it means the world to me, i just wanna chill with you

rounding the corner of the aisle, he doesn’t even realize he’s bumped into someone until there are groceries rolling around at his feet and you’re apologizing softly. the glare that settles on his face is one of pure habit, an expression that had become his only one over the course of his life. he’s guarded by nature, and he knows it pushes people away, but that’s how he prefers things. so when you glance up from where you’re crouched, putting your items back into your basket, he’s shocked that you aren’t matching his glare or even that you don’t seem the slightest bit intimidated. you’re just asking him to hand you something by his feet.

realizing that you’ve dropped quite a bit of stuff because of him, he bends down, grabbing items before they roll away and handing them to you without a word. he then realizes that he’s made you spill your drink on your shirt, something you only notice when you catch him staring at the stain. when he sees the smirk on your face, his guarded glare makes a comeback, but you still don’t seem to notice it.

“are you going to tell me your name, or are you just going to keep staring at my chest?” well this is certainly new.

kunimi -- sweater weather x the neighbourhood

just us, you find out // nothing that i wouldn’t want to tell you about

“so you met this girl on twitter? what if she’s like some 40 year old dude?” he rolls his eyes at kindaichi’s comment, pulling up your account and showing him the selfies you’d posted not too long ago. his best friend nods appreciatively before shrugging. “i don’t know, man, those could be fake.” understanding kindaichi’s concern but unable to stop the annoyance that flares up in him, he shoves his phone back into his pocket and starts to walk away.

“whatever, dude, what’s the harm in making a friend?” there’s a scoff from behind him at the word ‘friend’, but he ignores it, just like he ignores the blush rising on his cheeks.

“i’m just saying, you’ve never exactly been one to put yourself out there and make friends, so why her?” he shrugs, deciding that even starting this conversation with kindaichi had been a huge mistake and that he just wants it to be over. he’s well aware that it’s not the best idea to get close to someone he hasn’t physically met and that kindaichi’s just looking out for him, but he feels oddly protective of you and doesn’t like where the conversation is headed.

besides, his attention is no longer on what’s happening around him. he can feel his phone buzzing in his pocket, and he just knows it’s you.

kindaichi -- that’s just how it goes x role model

you’ll sleep with friends of mine // i’ll sleep with people i don’t like

he waves at you when you enter the gym, remembering that you’d promised to come watch him practice. they haven’t quite started yet, so he jogs over to you to ask how your day was. he knows why you’re really here. he can see the way you try to glance around him without being obvious about it, but he knows exactly who you’re here for. it’s so obvious it almost feels like a joke. because when kunimi wanders over to say hi, he can see the way you look at him, your ears tinted red as you smile nervously. he can see it, and he hates it, so he looks away. he always looks away. that’s why he never sees the moment when you turn your loving gaze to him or the way kunimi smiles knowingly, shaking his head at the fact that kindaichi can be so oblivious sometimes.

bokuto -- magic in the hamptons x social house, lil yachty

you know where i go when we’re dancing // handshakes in the hamptons and getting drunk in the mansions with you

“akaashi... who is that?” he’s standing in one of the aisles of the library, eyes locked on the table where akaashi can usually be found studying. he’d come to this spot specifically to find his best friend, ready to drag the younger boy off to lunch, but he’d found you instead. he’s not exactly sure how long he’s been standing there, probably in everyone’s way, but eventually akaashi does pass the aisle on his way to check out a book, stopping short at the sight of a familiar large frame.

at akaashi’s noise of confusion from his question, bokuto does nothing more than repeat himself, swallowing hard as he watches you study. glancing past bokuto to see what he’s looking at, akaashi finally spots you, lifting his gaze and smiling almost evilly when he sees the telltale expression of awe on bokuto’s face.

“that’s y/n, bokuto-san. she’s a good friend of mine -- should i introduce you?”

akaashi -- fuck, i’m lonely x lauv, anne-marie

and all my friends are way too drunk to save me from my phone // so sorry if I say some things I mean

when akaashi steps out of the convenience store, well past midnight, the last person he’s expecting to see is you, sitting at one of the little tables outside. there’s a bottle of sake and a small disposable cup in front of you, but you’ve got your head on the table, looking out at nothing in particular. he checks his phone quickly and realizes that he does, in fact, have two texts from bokuto, the first letting him know that the two of you had gotten into a disagreement of sorts and you’d stormed out of the house to clear your head. the second is a request, friend to friend, that akaashi find her because, as annoyed he is with her, bokuto knows that his baby sister trusts akaashi more than anyone else in the world and he wants her to come home safely.

he sets his bag on the table and sits down across from you, letting you know that someone’s there. when you lift your head and see that it’s him, you give him a smile so warm that his breath catches in his throat and he has to find something to distract himself. picking the bottle of sake up from the table, he judges that you’re probably pretty tipsy, as it’s almost empty. he knows you’re pretty tipsy when you hum quietly and grab for his hand, whispering to him words that he figures you wouldn’t say if you were sober.

“I missed you, ‘kaashi.”

ushijima -- loving someone x the 1975

and i think i should be… // … loving someone

“i do not know how to tell her that she is overbearing. she even becomes angry when i try to explain that my career will not allow me the amount of time she demands of me.” he can hear you humming sleepily on the other side of the phone, and he wonders momentarily if he should have checked to see if you were sleeping before calling, but you’d told him long ago that you’d always pick up. he supposes 1am is never a good time to call, but he’s always had trouble talking to anyone who isn’t you. no one else has ever put in the effort to understand what he’s saying and especially what he isn’t saying. no one else has ever tried. not even his own girlfriend.

tendou -- blueberry faygo x lil mosey

one bad bitch, and she do what i say so

when his phone dings quietly from where he’s left it in the passenger’s seat of his car, tendou knows you’re almost ready. he rounds the corner onto your street and kills the headlights, rolling up to the front of your house as carefully as possible. he can see your parents sitting in the main room, the sofa positioned so that their backs are to the window, the TV glaring brightly in front of them. it’s a lucky setup for a certain redhead, as it’s granted him several opportunities over the years, both to sneak in and for you to sneak out. the latter is what he’s currently witnessing.

he watches as you slip out of your window and almost roll right off the roof, but you catch yourself and maneuver very carefully to the edge of the roof. he can’t help but grab his phone to film you as your legs hang precariously off the edge, your body wiggling cutely as you try not to make noise. at some point you’re dangling in the air right in front of the window, but you drop to the ground before either of your parents can notice, and then you’re bolting down the driveway to tendou’s car in uncontained excitement.

he watches the whole ordeal with nothing but love in his eyes, knowing there’s no one else in the world that would risk the true wrath of their parents for a 2am mcdonald’s run with him.

semi -- dangerous x big data (feat. joywave)

you understand, i got a plan for us // i bet you didn’t know that i was dangerous

he thinks he recognizes you, but he can’t quite place your familiarity. it’s a standard interview, one that the band has had scheduled for weeks now. when they get there, you’re already seated in the interviewer’s chair, a camera set up just behind you. you greet them kindly, smiling and bowing to each of the members. when you get to him, however, he has to ask.

“sorry if this comes off as a little weird, but… do we know each other?” your kind smile morphs into a smirk, so he knows he’s right. the response you give has the rest of the band howling with laughter, but he’s too busy noticing how stunning you look in that moment, your eyes dancing with mirth as you tilt your head to the side to look at him.

“you mean you don’t remember rejecting me in high school?”

goshiki -- adore you x harry styles

i’d walk through fire for you // just let me adore you

“...so what i’m trying to say, tsutomu… is that i like you. a lot…” he can hear the words leaving your mouth, but all he can see is you -- the way you refuse to meet his eyes, the deep red that’s filling your cheeks the longer you go on. he barely registers that this is a confession because all his mind can focus on is the fact that it’s taken this long for him to realize his own feelings. almost 2 years of inviting you to his games, begging your teachers to make you two seatmates at the beginning of each term, asking you to wait for him to finish practice so he could walk you home -- it had all been some selfish attempt to make you his, and he didn’t even realize it until you were trying to make him yours, too. he doesn’t let you finish your rambling confession, unable to stop himself from speaking.

“what are you doing this weekend?”

shirabu -- toothbrush x dnce

baby, you don’t have to rush // you can leave a toothbrush at my place, at my place

when the two of you had started dating, you’d both agreed that keeping things private for a little while would be best -- the shiratorizawa VBC is a lot of things, but subtle is not one of them. he’d been well aware that if anyone were to find out, he would suffer endless teasing and constant questions, and since you’re friends with all the boys, you would not be spared the torture. but “a little while” had become months, and he’s starting to feel like he’s made a mistake trying to keep you a secret. when you visit the team’s practice, he feels trapped, like he’s not even free to look at you or give you the soft smile he knows you love. he just has to sit there, blending in with the rest of the boys as they greet you, as a few of them even flirt with you. they have no idea that you’re his, and he’s really starting to hate it.

terushima -- blinding lights x the weekend

i’m drowning in the night // when i’m like this, you’re the one i trust

“yuuji, you shouldn’t be calling me…” he’s drunk -- more than drunk, really. if he’d been any less intoxicated than he currently is in this exact moment, he never would have looked for your name in his contacts. he knows you’re trying to have a clean break, that after years of back and forth and mistakes that were masked as late nights and one too many drinks, you had finally had enough. he’s trying to respect your decision because he wants nothing more than to give you everything you want. but there must be some piece of him that’s hoping you’re willing to make just one more mistake. one more mistake with you is all he needs, and then he’ll let you go.

atsumu -- love$ick x mura masa (feat. a$ap rocky)

i need you // i’m a lovesick fuck // i want you // i’m a lovesick fuck

“rin, you left this at my place last night -- my mom filled it with leftovers in case you didn’t have lunch for today.” watching as you place suna’s lunch sack beside him and nod at his quiet mumble of gratitude, atsumu considers it both a blessing and a curse that the universe made you suna’s best friend. but today he feels especially cursed, since he’s now finding himself choking half to death on his lunch when suna lets out a quick --

“by the way, this piss head’s been crushing on you for weeks -- can you please go on a date with him so i can get some peace and quiet during lunch?” snatching osamu’s water bottle right as his brother’s raising it to his own lips, atsumu quiets his lungs and glances up at you, beet red, just as you’re turning to walk away, a smirk forming on your lips.

“i’ll think about it.”

osamu -- paradise x bazzi

don’t know if it’s the drink i poured // but i swear i’ve never loved you more

“stop touchin’ my rice! it’s for the fuckin’ onigiri!” if any of his customers could see the way he’s acting right now, he’d definitely be out of business. he’s known for providing quality service with charm to match, but right now he’s acting like nothing short of… well, his brother. you’d stopped by just as the shop was closing, part of your friday night routine that consisted of nothing but your favorite miya twin and a heinous amount of food for two people. atsumu always complains that you’d shown osamu favoritism since high school, something that osamu was always secretly happy about. even now, as you stand in the kitchen of his restaurant asking him to show you how to make onigiri and then proceeding to wreak absolute havoc on his poor ingredients, he’s pleased that you’d always chosen him over anyone else. he does need you to stop touching his inventory, though.

“but what’s the difference between this rice and this ri-- okay, okay, i’m sorry!” you run around the island in the middle of the room, narrowly avoiding him as he swipes at you and yells for you to get out of his shop. he can tell you’re about to do something else to rile him up, so he tries to reach for you again but ends up tripping over his own foot and falling to the ground, taking you down with him. he only realizes just how close you are when you’re whispering his name, your breath fanning over his lips.

‘oh... shit’

suna -- notice me x role model (feat. benee)

let’s dance when we’re not supposed to be // can’t stand when you’re not close to me // damn, can’t believe you notice me, notice me

caging you against his bedroom wall with his arms, he presses his lips to your neck, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses down to your collarbone. he can feel your pulse jumping in your throat, and he feels a kind of guilty pride that he’s the one that makes you feel this way. when you grasp at his shirt almost desperately and pull him flush against you, he wants to forget about the fact that this means nothing to you. he wants to forget about the way you sneak out of his room when you think he’s asleep, as if he could ever sleep peacefully knowing you’re so close. he wants to forget about how stupid he’d been, losing his courage and asking you to just be fuck buddies instead of what he really wants.

sakusa -- 505 x arctic monkeys

but i crumble completely when you cry // it seems like once again you’ve had to greet me with “goodbye”

as you storm toward the front door, his hand wraps firmly around your wrist, pulling you back to him. when you whip around to look at him, your eyes, burning with anger and wet with tears, have his heart breaking clean in half, but he doesn’t let go.

“i’m not letting you leave. you’re the one who said leaving wouldn’t fix anything. we have to fix this.” the look you give him is resigned, almost as if you think there’s no point in fixing what had slowly been breaking between you. if you had been anyone else -- if he could live without you -- he would have let you go a long time ago. but you’re not someone else, you’re you. and he’s not ready to live without you, so he doesn’t let go. he can’t let go.

aone -- firebird x milky chance

you’re like a firebird in the sky // shining for a challenger in the night

there’s a hand wrapping around his bicep as he stands in front of the chinese food takeout place on his street, waiting for futakuchi to finish ordering for them. when he looks down, you’re looking right back up at him, a complete stranger.

“babe, i thought you said you’d meet me at the corner!” he blinks inquisitively, tilting his head to the side, but he can see that there’s thinly veiled panic in your eyes. glancing quickly over your shoulder, he catches sight of two guys not too far away, watching closely. acting on the only conclusion that makes sense to him in that moment, he removes his arm from your grasp, but just as that panic in your eyes starts to grow, he’s wrapping it around you, pulling you into his chest comfortably.

“i’m sorry, i must have forgotten.” he wants to cringe at his own stiff language, hoping he doesn’t blow your cover and make things worse, but you’re relaxing into him as the guys finally decide you aren’t worth the trouble. once they’re gone, he drops his arm but keeps you close just in case. he wants to offer to walk you home, but he doesn’t like the idea that those guys are still wandering the streets and could find out where you live if they spot you again any time soon. you start to apologize for catching him so off guard, but his voice, firm yet polite, stops you.

“do you like chinese food?”

futakuchi -- 7 rings x ariana grande

happiness is the same price as red-bottoms

he doesn’t see you at first, the lighting in the room so dark that he can barely see his drink in his own hand. the club is beyond crowded, and the sweat that starting to roll down his spine is making him really uncomfortable. he pulls out his phone to text you, but then he remembers that he’d upset you earlier -- a remark that had come out automatically, his quick, unfiltered comments a product of his sharp tongue -- and you had cancelled your plans with him and told him you would text him in a few days. he has no right to be upset, he knows he shouldn’t have been rude to you. but then he spots a dress not too far away -- a dress he very clearly remembers paying for.

you’re hanging off of some other guy, and it looks like you two know each other because you aren’t tense around him like you were when you’d first met him all those years ago. you’re not his, he has to remind himself. this arrangement had been built on nothing but sex and money, as all things tend to be. you keep him company, and he gives you anything you could ever want -- the perfect sugar daddy.

then why is he so goddamn irritated?

626 notes · View notes

quirklessidiot · 4 years

Text

Title: coward :: old friends Pairing: Y/N x Miya Atsumu Genre: angst, romance, and very slow burn [ex to lovers au] Warnings: Cursing, alchohol, mentions of unprotected sex, unplanned pregnancy, and mentions of abortion

Synopsis: Your kids openly hate Miya Atsumu and the appearance of an old friend stirs up mischief and unwanted memories of the past. [ft. aomine daiki from knb] notes:

i probably cant stress this enough but thank you so much for all the love T-T it means a lot <3 like 118 followers in a span of two weeks? That’s just shhddhbdbx anyways i hope enjoy another buttload of angst! remember to always stay safe and wash ur hands!!

i find it funny when people point out atsumu to be a player or a fuckboy because this guy looks like a one-woman (or no woman lets be honest) type of person, his whole personality revolves around volleyball i guess and being straightforward to everyone with an idgaf attitude ksksks

previous next masterlist

“You haven’t even wiped your sweaty backs and you both think you’re good to go?” you narrowed your eyes at the two boys who sheepishly gave you a smile as you lightly scolded them for not taking care of their health, the boys had decided to join a mini sports club after class where you could play for an hour any sport you’d like in the gym. They had promised it wouldn’t affect their studies.

Bending down to their level, you signal them to turn around. The pair furrows their brows, not wanting to be coddled by you in public, when you noticed that they were about to complain, you cocked a brow at their actions and tighten your lips. Begrudgingly they slowly turned around, not wanting a lecture from you.

You first wiped Yuuto’s back and handed him a t-shirt he could change on. As you were wiping Youta’s back with another towel, he suddenly spoke out, “Kaasan, that Atsumu-guy’s looking at you again.” he frowns.

Yes, apparently Miya Atsumu had the time to lounge around at a kids sports club and accompany his friend Hinata who would occasionally be there to help around because he was bored and they were ordered to rest (judging from your past conversations with Hinata these days, you noticed that the young man did not know the meaning of what resting was).

You thought that the little scene at your workplace would be the last time you saw him but these past days, you saw him a lot. It seemed to be getting too frequent to the point where you wondered if it could even be called a coincidence at all, “Do you want me to spike at him, kaasan?” the oldest twin asks as he turns to you, a small pout on his lips.

“Now, now, do you remember the story I told you about the bully last night?”

“Don’t throw stuff at people?” He blinks innocently.

You let out a soft and gentle laugh, the one only reserved for your boys, “Yes, Yo-chan. Don’t throw stuff at people.” you leaned in to give him a peck on his nose in which he immediately moved away and wrinkled his forehead in disgust.

“Stop doing that, kaasan. I’m a big kid already!”

“Hai, hai.” You patted his head and stood up while handed him his t-shirt, “Hurry along and change now, you big baby.”

Atsumu watches the bizarre interaction from afar, he’s never seen you this soft in public. Even when you were dating back then, the most public display of affection you two would have when you were dating was just you playing with his fingers and drawing small circles on his thighs unknowingly under the table (save for that one time where you wiped blood off his nose in public but then again you guys weren’t dating that time so that didn’t count) yet seeing you laughing, wiping the sweat out of the little boys back, and even giving a small peck on his nose was a very different sight to behold.

Daresay, it suited you.

“You’ve been staring at her for quite some time, Miya-san.” Sugawara comments as he puts the last grade-school volleyball on the cart. Atsumu jumps on the spot and rubs the back of his head nervously making Sugawara laugh in reply, “Funny, isn’t it? Whenever I talk to L/N-san, she’s always like ‘okay.’, ‘that’s nice.’, ‘good.’ yet when she’s with the kids, she’s the softest person ever.”

“Yeah…” The blonde mutters, “definitely funny.”

“Heard from Hinata that you and L/N-san used to be together back in college.”

That damn orange haired snake-

“Yeah, two years.” Atsumu clears his throat, “We, we fell out of love though.”

‘You fell out of love.’ he corrects in his head.

“Oho,Fates a fickle huh? Anyways, Me and Hinata are actually planning on inviting Y/N and the boys for dinner, do you want to come with us?”

“I have a girlfriend.” he replies in defense.

Sugawara looks at him, completely baffled by his reply then immediately bursts out into laughter, “I doubt Y/N would care, really…” He paused, “No offense.”

“None taken.” the blonde deadpanned.

You don’t know why you ended up at a chinese restaurant that night with one kid animatedly chatting Hinata Shoyou’s ear off while the other was openly glaring at Miya Atsumu, “Youta please swallow your food before talking.” you frowned, taking a napkin to wipe the rice off the mouth of the younger twin.

The blonde kept glancing at you but whenever he did, he’d receive a very harsh glare from Yuuto, “Hey watch where you’re looking at, jiji.” Yuuto suddenly spat out loud, catching him in the act this time as he stabs his chicken with a fork.

Sugawara sweat drops at the interaction unfolding in front of him while you try to tell your oldest son to be more kind to the man sitting in front of him, “Yeah. Listen to your mom, brat.” Atsumu frowns, in which the child retaliates with a tongue out.

“Yuuto, eat your food and stop disturbing Miya-san.”

Yet their stare-off seemed to continue as soon as you turned away from the pair and Sugawara had to intervene before Yuuto would pounce at the professional volleyball player across the table, “You should be nicer to him, Yuuto-kun. You want to be a setter right? He’s a better setter than I am.” Sugawara tries to ease off the tension between the two.

“He’s not,” Yuuto frowns, “I don’t even know why Kaasan says you’re the best setter in the whole wide world, Adler’s Kageyama Tobio’s obviously better!”

You feel yourself freeze up at Yuuto’s innocent babble, Atsumu seems to be taken aback by it too but he immediately regains himself, “Your mom’s got taste that’s all.” He leered at the six year old boy, not daring to back down from the brat’s challenge. Sugawara pales when the tension rises even higher and tries to get Hinata to ease it up but the orange-haired is too engaged into the conversation with the other twin.

“Baby, just eat your veggies and stop disturbing Miya-san.” You snap back to your senses as you evenly try to get him to calm down once again but he refuses, another trait he got from his father.

“Hey troll, the jiji won’t stop staring at kaasan!” he calls for his twin, trying to get him to back him up, “I told ya he was a crackhead!”

Your eyes widen at your son’s attitude and his uncouth table manners, “L/N Yuuto, that’s it!” You suddenly raise your voice, Yuuto’s scowl deepens as he crosses his arms. Everyone in the table turns silent by your outburst.

Anger, Miya Atsumu realizes how many different emotions you manage to muster out today. It was a lot more than what he had experienced with you, he’d usually take these emotions by crumbs back then since it was rare but it seemed that these boys had it easy with you. You were so open to them, so vulnerable.

“We’re going home right this instant after you apologize to Miya-san.”

“I don’t wanna.”

“Yuuto…”

“Y/N, it’s alright-” Atsumu tries to ease up the kid's burden, suddenly feeling bad since it was his fault in the first place and the kid was probably just trying to protect you.

“I said I don’t wanna!” The oldest twin immediately stands up and runs away, you grab your youngest son by the hand who was sadly saying goodbye to his idol as you placed the payment for your meal on the table.

“He’s not usually like this.” You bowed your head, “Sorry Miya-san, I really am.”

He watches you dash away to the direction where your younger son ran off to, Youta trailing behind you as he waved goodbye to his two favorite men and a tongue out to Miya Atsumu, signaling that he too, like his brother, hated him.

“Way to go, atsumu-san” Hinata grimaced, openly judging him for picking a fight with a kid as he munched on his sweet and sour pork.

Later that same evening, you stood outside your sons room, regretting how you handled the situation. Of course, Yuuto was wrong to say that but you should’ve been more mindful with your tone and words. You were their mother and an adult for crying out loud!

“Yuuto?” You knock on the twins shared room, “Baby? Would you mind opening the door for a sec?”

“Kaasan, Yuuto says he don’t wanna!” Youta replies in his older brother's stead.

“Okay,” You calmly reply, expecting that, “Then can you tell Yu-chan that there's a glass of milk on the counter? I know he wants to drink some after that heavy dinner.”

“He says big boys don’t need milk, kaasan…” Youta paused, “But he says he’ll drink it later since we shouldn’t throw food.”

“Okay, goodnight boys.”

You slowly head to the couch and lay there, basking in the silence of your apartment and waiting for your son to come out of his room to be ready to talk. As you hear the door creak open, you see Yuuto slowly waddle his way towards the table where his milk was on, “Yu-chan? Can we talk?” you ask, your voice is soft as you slowly made your way to the oldest twin, bending down to his level so you could see him eye to eye, “Oh, baby...Kaasan is so, so, sorry…” You apologized, taking his small hands and resting your head on top of it.

“I don’t like yelling.”

“I know.”

“I had to protect ‘kaasan,” he frowns, his nose wrinkling, “He was looking at you badly.”

“Kaasan deserved it.”

“No one deserves to look at you badly, kaasan!” he exclaims, “You’re the bestest, kindest person in the whole wide world!”

You wondered if they’d still say that when they’d find out you were lying to them about how their father was just right in front of them tonight.

“ ‘Kaasan had hurt miya-san really bad before,” You try to explain to your son in words he could understand and digest as you run your hands through his silky black hair, “That’s why he’s like that…”

“B-But…” he tries to stammer out an explanation but you cut him off with a kiss on his cheek.

“You’ll understand what ‘kaasan means when you’re older,” you smile, slowly standing up and handing him his glass of milk, “Sometimes we hurt people really bad that even saying sorry can’t fix it.”

“W-was it really bad, ‘kaasan?” the boy asks, taking the milk to his small hands and drinking it slowly whilst trying to discern what you were saying. After placing the glass down, he asks, “Did you break his favorite toy or something?”

“Mhm,” You hummed, picking him up as he stifled a yawn and slowly nuzzled on your neck,“ ‘Kaasan broke something so important, she couldn’t fix it with just saying sorry.”

“Babygirl, aren’t you looking better these days?”

“You call me that one more time and I swear I’m disemboweling you.” You deadpanned, meeting his dark eyes. Aomine Daiki lets out a boisterous laugh right after when he sees your blank expression, “Still the same as ever, Y/N-chan, you really love breakin’ my heart.” he teased, clutching his heart in fake pain.

“Tch,” You clicked your tongue at the tall basketball player, “Tell that to the women you play around with.”

“I take it the boys are at school today?”

“They begged me to skip it since they heard you were back in japan.” You replied, recalling the twins fake sickness this morning just so that they could see the navy blue-haired giant.

“I’m surprised you even took the time off to see little ol’ me.”

“Don’t kid yourself.”

“Hn,” He hummed, leaning in closely as he rested his head on his palm, “I got news by the way, I was at our hometown and I bumped into obaasan.”

You cross your legs and lean back on the chair, the mere mention of your mother had you automatically on edge and annoyed.

“What did she say?”

“She asked me a favor,” He shrugged, taking in a sip of his banana milk, “Says that she wants to meet up with you… She mentions that ojisan’s gonna make time too, I think they’re going to try to make amends with you.”

“That’s nice.” You dryly remarked, clearly you didn’t care about their apology or their willingness to ‘talk’ it out.

“Don’t shoot the messenger,” Daiki frowns, raising his hands in reply, “And judging by the look on your face, you’re not going to see them?”

Flashes of your childhood and the event that transpired six years ago wormed its way back to your head, it had been so long but its had severely affected and haunted you to this day, “I don’t think I’d ever want my kids near them, who knows what they’ll say around them.” you responded truthfully.

Daiki’s gaze turned soft as he noticed how tightly you were holding the coffee cup, “You got overtime again, right? How about I’ll take care of the boys in the meantime? You know how much they love the huge fridge and pachinko machine in my apartment... I’m also sure they miss their favorite ojisan.”

“Just make sure you hide your porno magazines.”

“That was one time, Y/N.”

You and Aomine Daiki go way back the tall boy lived right across your house and had been your companion since you were the tender age of six. He knew what went around your house, why you were so quiet and expressionless most of the time. At some point, the tall man tried to cross the line of friends to lover but he was only met with the very familiar blank gaze and harsh words of, “I don’t think I’ll ever see you that way.”

The man had no choice but to accept the scraps he was given, he couldn’t really blame you though. After the messed-up emotional trauma you experienced growing up, he knew you wanted nothing to do with the idea of families or lovers.

Yet one winter night while he was in the middle of his training for the national team, he received a phone call from you with two words he never expected to hear from you at all, “I’m pregnant.”

It’s been three years since he last saw you that time and he’s puzzled, who took advantage of you? Where was that asshole so he could beat him to a pulp? Why couldn’t the father be a man and face you? He becomes even more confused because apparently you knew this man very well and you had an intimate relationship with him, something he never imagined from you, “I broke up with him.”

“W-what?”

“I broke up with him,” you repeated, clutching the ultrasound picture on your hand tightly, it probably looked unrecognizable at that point, “I told him I never wanted to see him again.”

“You didn’t tell him?” He bellowed, he placed his hands on your arms and held you while shaking you lightly, “Y/N are you out of your mind? How are you going to raise a kid in this state? You may have graduated early but you’ve got student loans and yourself to fend for! How are you going to do it? Your parents disowned you for cryin’ out loud!”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know? What do you mean? Do you want to have it aborted, Y/N?”

“I don’t know.”

Daiki lets out a frustrated sigh as he lowers his head, realization slowly dawned upon him at that moment, you were running away. Your defense mechanism had always been to run away. Ever since Aomine Daiki met you, he always noticed that whenever you had problems, you’d run towards the opposite direction and never meet them head-on.

They’d pile up to the point that he was worried you’d burst one day.

It had happened once before and it was something he prayed he’d never see again.

“You know you can’t keep running, right?” He manages to croak out softly, looking at you dead in the eye, your face was blank but your eyes held so much emotions in them; grief, anguish, misery, and what pained him the most was that you drowned yourself in these emotions that you probably didn’t know how to express them anymore because you were used to it.

“I can try.”

“You have to tell him, what’s his name? Where does he live? Y/N-”

“Don’t.” You replied, contrasting to the blank tone you were using moments ago, your voice was now soft. He notices that you’re inching closer to him and he observes you as you melt on his arms just like that moment eleven years ago, you’re shaking uncontrollably, “Please don’t tell him.”

“Y/N-”

“I-I- you-shouldn’t- can’t tell him, please just this one time,” You stammer, begging him with whatever strength you have left, he feels his jacket getting wet. He holds you tight, not knowing what to say anymore, whoever this jackass was, you must’ve really loved him because he’s never seen you this scared before, “just this one time, let me run away from this again.”

Miya Atsumu feels a tick on his forehead when a very tall, dark, and daresay, handsome man appeared to pick up the boys during the club activity today. He wouldn’t openly admit it but he wanted to talk to you after that little fiasco that he had with that brat but when this guy appeared out of nowhere instead of you.

He was beyond annoyed.

He couldn’t pinpoint where he actually saw this guy but he was very familiar.

“Oh, is that Aomine Daiki?” Sugawara gasped, completely surprised by the tall man’s presence.

“Wow, He’s way too tall to be japanese.” Hinata pointed out, “Is he a volleyball player? I wanna match him!”

“Shoyou no, he plays basketball for the NBA.” Sugawara comments, “I didn’t know Y/N knew him, he’s pretty big internationally and in japan too.”

Atsumu clenched his fists as he watched the brats easily cling onto him and ask him if they brought some gifts for them from abroad, judging by their body language, this guy must’ve been with you since the beginning.

“Oh, ninja shoyou was it?” The tall man suddenly exclaims, going up to Shoyou eagerly with no shame, “I watched some of your matches while I was in Brazil! I’m Aomine Daiki.”

Miya Atsumu wished this guy was an asshole but he was nothing like that, in fact, he looked like an excited kid when he started talking to the little orange-head, telling him how good he’d fit in at basketball with his jumps, “You must be the teachers?” he glanced towards Atsumu and Sugawara, the latter nodded but the blonde didn’t seem that amused by him.

“I’m Hinata’s teammate.” he said through gritted teeth, offering his hand to shake, “Miya Atsumu…”

“Nice to meet you, pal.”

“Daiki-ojisan, jiji’s an old friend of ‘kaasan back when she was studyin!” Youta exclaims randomly, Atsumu wants to snap at the brat for calling him jiji once again but he holds it back because he was still at odds with the other one and he didn’t want to strain whatever he had left with the excited one.

Daiki, on the other hand, feels his body stiffen at Youta’s random fact outburst. You had never told him who the father was until today, all he knew was that he was with you in Tokyo university and that you were very much in love with him.

Did this guy perhaps know who the boyfriend was?

“Friend, huh?” He laughs, taking his hand and shaking it, trying to lighten up the mood, “I heard she even got her first boyfriend there.”

The trio fell into silence at what Aomine said while the two kids tilted their heads at the new word they heard. The basketball player felt confused by the sudden silence and when he noticed the red ears of the blonde in front of him, realization finally dawned on him.

“That…” Atsumu clears his throat, ears tinged red by the man’s forwardness, “That would be me.”

Aomine’s eyes widen, no fucking way, “Wow,” he throws his head back, howling in laughter, were you a masochist? How could you lounge around the father of the kids without him knowing jackshit about what happened and still be alright? He immediately regains his composure, this poor blonde bastard was probably confused since he heard you just ghosted him and left him out of the blue, “You definitely get my respect, Miya-san.”

Atsumu doesn’t know why the man in front of him is so amused or why he’s taking out a scratch paper on the kids notebook to write his number on it, “I hope we can be friends, it's definitely an interesting story to hear how you two got together. Y/N never entertained me and I’ve been chasing her since we were thirteen.” he grins, as if he just hadn’t nonchalantly revealed that you had rejected him more times than Atsumu back in college.

The blonde setter is confused as the navy blue-haired man slaps a phone number on his palm, “Call me when you need a drinking company, alright? Let's talk, I’d love to hear how you ended up together.” the smile on his lips turning wider by the minute.

taglist [closed]

@fortheloveofiwaizumi ; @svtbitch ; @kiyoomile ; @lovedanii @juno-multifandom ; @gyubit17 ; @saeranoppa ; @nixxona ; @kyomihann @shorttstackk ; @intoomuchfandoms ; @yammmers ; @mx-minxx @itsmattsunshinehere ; @missingmystogan ; @volleybloop ; @imcravingyou ; @yams-wants-that-booty ; @liathachcapricious ; @pinknugget @seikamuzu ; @marigoldthoughts ; @sillykittt ; @baejinoffcl ; @alluring-akaashi ; @bnhasstuff ; @jungshookmeup ; @intheawks ; @bokuakadaily

@misosamu @Etherynaw @ryaaaax [hi, i can’t seem to tag u guys, i think you need to open your tags uwu]

#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyu!! fanfics #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu headcanons #miya atsumu #miya atsumu x reader #miya atsumu imagine #miya atsumu scenarios #miya atsumu headcanons #haikyuu angst #atsumu x reader #atsumu imagines

476 notes · View notes

hollyhomburg · 4 years

Note

can u show what happens after the snipts and i'm curious about the tae x reader, pretty please my heart is broken from that angst but the way you wrote is beautiful

here is the next part!

SANDCASTLES: SNIPPETS IN SEQUENCE (3) (YOONMINJOONSEOK X READER) (TAEHYUNG X READER) (OMEGAVERSE AU)

TAGS: angst, unplanned pregnancy, depression, loneliness, BETA! taehyung x reader

W/c: 3.5k

A/n: here you go! here are the beta Taehyung parts, as well as what happens immediately after she leaves the alphas and Jimin. The next part will be about what happens to them in the wake of her leaving, and I will say this; the next part has some heavy tags so be sure to watch out for those. ALSO- TAE IS THE VILLAN OF THIS STORY, but the beginning with him isn’t bad. he will eventually betray the reader so be prepared!

- You cry yourself to sleep every night the first week in your new apartment.

- It’s a nice place really, too nice- but your company had told you it was more than within your means when they booked it for you. and you can barely believe the first paycheck you get. it has an extra bedroom and a kitchen with a retro-style but new appliances and molding on the ceiling in the old district, full of restaurants and coffee shops that you live off for the first few weeks.

- You don’t have a bed frame yet, so your bed just sits on the carpeted floor. Your boxes scattered around you, the one that holds some of your books acts as a nightstand. Your new job isn’t that terrible- in fact they make every point to tell you how good it is to have someone capable fill the position, and how good you are at your job.

- After so long it’s nice to feel appreciated.

- You even make friends with two of the other women that work there, an omega female named Yeri, and an alpha female named Irene, who would have made you nervous if not for the mating mark clearly evident on her collar bone.

- Despite the fact that they were slightly under you in the company, they both treated you, the new girl, with kindness. They even invited you to have lunch with them and get to know them on your second day and showed you around the company.

- It wasn’t safe for an unmated omega in a new city they said, you ended up crying in the bathroom for a few hours after that- it used to be your dream to be marked by Namjoon, Yoongi, and Hoseok, and for them to bear your and Jimin's mark. But now that dream could never come to fruition.

- But they are kind- so kind. They don’t ask you where you came from or even if you have any family- keeping your conversations mostly on company gossip and pop culture. You end up going to see a movie with them in the second week. And by the end of the third, the three of you are the best of friends.

- You’d never really had any friends that where girls- after all you’d always had Jimin, you’d never needed anyone else other than him until now.

- You get a dresser and put your old phone (still turned off) in the top drawer once you get a company cellphone. You adjust well, your apartment overlooks a park and a small pond in the very middle of the bustling city. Your place of work is only 5 blocks away, and you find yourself enjoying your walk to work every morning.

- But you’re miserable, you can't breathe in the smell of coffee without thinking of Yoongi and feeling sick to your stomach, every time you hear music you think of all the times both Jimin and Hoseok used to drag you to your feet to dance.

- You cant even watch TV without your and Namjoon’s favorite documentary show coming on- or that drama you and Hoseok used to curl up and watch. - What’s more, is that it seems like you’re actually getting sick, your fever is raised and every time you go for lunch you end up vomiting it all back up a few minutes later. Even your favorite foods don’t stay down. you try to chalk it up to the stress of moving and being separated from your alphas (which has been known to happen in some omegas after they part with a pack, their instincts regecting their minds desire to stay away), but it seems like that's less the case the more time goes on.

- It happens one day at work while you sit and eat your lunch with Yeri (Irene had a meeting during your usual lunch hour- but she told you not to wait for her). and you narrowly avoid vomiting on your new white blouse before you lean over and throw up your sandwich in the waste paper basket, a sudden wave of vomiting hits you so harshly that Yeri looks more than a little concerned.

- After you assure her that yes- you’re going to the doctor soon about it, and yes you’ve been able to keep water down she gives you a final withering look before she offhandedly says, “fine just don’t go getting pregnant on me like Irene’s wife did- I swear now all the two of them ever want to do is watch baby TV and talk about their child’s poops.”

- Throughout the rest of the day her words stick with you, and you end up going home at the end of the day only to pacing your apartment for a few hours, before you head back out to the store to pick up a pregnancy test and some ice cream (because why not).

- You pace around your small unfurnished living room as you wait for the stick to give you your results.You never expected to do this alone- in your mind someone was always here with you, you even expected to have all of them there. You wanted Jimin's hand on yours more than anything, you wanted to grow massive with him, and maybe raise your children together if you could.

- You openly sob the stick comes back as positive, you pace around your apartment crying and thinking on your situation for the entirety of the night before you realize that you being pregnant does nothing to change your situation. this is the only time you strongly consider turning on your old phone. you didn’t know if there would even be messages waiting from you- probably from Jimin, but not from any of the others you’re sure.

- Out of all of them- it has to be namjoon’s, you think back to the time in the kitchen, how your front was pressed to the granite, how it felt impersonal, how you’d sent the email for your job immediately after. that was probably the day you got pregnant.

- the more you think about it, the more you're sure. you put your phone away and don’t turn it on. Why would they want you now? if anything this would only make them hate you more. they where good people, and they wouldn’t have let you do this alone, especially Jimin. but They would resent being tied to a pregnant omega that they weren’t mated too or even in love with- that you were sure of.

- you imagine it briefly, sure- you’d have them in your life, but only so far as your child would have a parent in Namjoon, and uncles in the rest. you imagine the awkward doctors visits, the offers to pay, needing to share your child between here and Seoul. whatever children they’d have one day with Jimin, would be cousins to yours, and whatever children he’d have with Namjoon. well- they’d have the love of all the alphas, not just Namjoon. and you don’t want your child to feel any less loved because of your mistakes.

- So You’d have to raise your child alone, in a city that you barely knew. Without any support system. Sure your new friend were great but they were so new. So to distract yourself from your situation, the fact that you’re going to do all of this alone, and the fact that you left your baby’s father- You drown yourself in work, staying later than anyone else consistently, falling into your bed exhausted.

- You go to your prenatal appointments alone, and when you start getting cravings, there’s no one to lean over to in the middle of the night and ask for chocolate sauce and watermelon, or barbecue mayonnaise and mac and cheese fries, you get up and do it yourself.

- By week 5 of your pregnancy, your hormones have started to change enough that one day you walk into work and Yeri almost screams in happiness, congratulating you and jumping in your arms when she notices how your scent has changed. It’s only when she pulls back and sees your withdrawn sad expression that she says, “oh honey…” and Irene slaps her on the arm lightly as she tries to broach the topic of the father. They both know you live alone by now.

- you notify your boss, and you almost pass out when they offer you nearly 4 months of maternity leave. they seem determined to treat you well. it helps that your ceo is also an omega.

- By about 12 weeks- you’re starting to show significantly enough that people on the train start to give you the priority seat when you were tight clothes. You show Enough that you begin to fiddle with your old phone again. You get close several times to turning it on-But in the end you never do. Preferring to leave it in the drawer of the nightstand next to your bed right next to the picture of them.

- “You can do this, there are plenty of single omega parents, it’s not like it used to be” the doctor and the clinic that you go too for your prenatal appointments assures you when the other omega finally asks if they’ res a father or another mother in the picture.

- And you’re not over what happened by any means but things slowly start to get better.

- You don’t cry randomly as much, you start coming home earlier and going on walks- the doctor said it was good for the baby. On the weekends you go to this fresh fruit market, sometimes with Irene and her wife and child, making a day out of it.

- And you enjoy the little child as he reaches up for your stomach, patting on it gently and slurring the words “baby out now!” that causes all of you to giggle and Irene’s wife apologizes- saying that their little Eun just loves babies more than anything.

- Your life is nice, calm. There is a tense atmosphere in your apartment, though you do buy a few plants, and a few poster pictures to put on the white walls. slowly the space starts to feel like yours. You paint the spare room the lightest shade of robins egg blue and add puffy white clouds to the walls with Yeri, giggling and laughing harder than you have in months as she accidentally splashes paint onto her face.

- Your relationship with a kind and soft beta named Taehyung starts simply and in the most cliché way possible.

- You accidentally ran into him while coming home from the grocery store, your belly barely showing through a baggy sweatshirt. Two paper bags in either arm. One of the bags rips when he bumps into you. his other coming up to stop you from falling backward, his arm like iron, his hands digging into you to steady you. all of a sudden your whole body flush with warmth.

- Tae is an absolute gentleman, picking up your weird assortment of food in his hands and walking the few blocks to your tiny apartment. you feel surprisingly safe with the stranger, your instincts have been in overdrive since your body started to adjust to your pregnancy, and they’re something about Tae’s scent that immediately settles your stomach.

It goes surprisingly well, there is something so gentlemanly about his deep voice and his quiet smile that makes you feel so relaxed. His beta scent- the smell of clean laundry (beta’s always smelled clean) definitely has something to do with it. not his pretty jaw or his delicate style.

- You invite him in for some iced tea and you spend a few minutes chatting, now that the bags not in front of your stomach, Tae can see why you seemed so unsteady on your feet. You expect it to scare him away- but he doesn’t mention you're obvious condition until he’s about to leave. Handing you a small slip of paper with his number on it.

- He touches your shoulder softly. “I live in the area so If you ever need any help- please don’t hesitate to call me.” by now he has scented the room, know by the lack of a competing scent as well as the lack of a bite on your shoulder that you’re alone. that you don't have anyone.

- You pin the number to the old fashion fridge and try to forget about it. After all, tae was more than a little flirty and you’re in no position to even want to date anyone right now. But when you finally call it’s more about needing help than wanting to see him. Though seeing him was an added bonus.

- He helps you move your refrigerator after an important document falls behind it, the literal social security card that you can't reach or get at. And he’s sweaty sipping more of your ice tea when he says, “I hoped that when you finally called me it would be for a date and not to rescue your medical stuff behind your dusty fridge.”

- “You don’t want to date me tae,” you say, your hand hovering over your stomach. He looks at your tummy too, sicking in his lower lip.

- “No I’m sure that I do” he says, taking your hand in his before he says softly, his warm brown eyes piercing into you as he looks through his black bangs “I don’t know what you’re dealing with, I don’t know who or what you’re running from, but trust me when I saw that I really, really want to take you out on a date- at least once.”

- You relent and agree to go visit a night market with him- one of the hallmarks of this city that you hadn’t yet indulged in.He buys you ice cream and fried mac and cheese and doesn’t criticize you when you dunk your French fries in your chocolate Sunday. In fact, he joins in- letting you dunk one in his Oreo mango ice cream.

- You listen to Tae talk about his job; you find out that he owns a pair of café’s the first one that he inherited from his grandmother, the second one that he opened last year after the first one did so well. Business is booming so much that he’s contemplating opening a third. the cafe is just between your apartment and your job, it’s no wonder that you never ran into him sooner.

- You promise to come to try his berry macaroons that are apparently the best in town. He starts to talk about coffee but then a glance down to your stomach reminds him that you can’t have that- and he switches to boba tea

- You sit in the warm summer air listening to a live band before you go to walk along the river, the lights reflecting off the water like one of van Goh's paintings. You’re laughing at some joke Tae tells you when he leans over surprisingly and kisses you, you recoiled a little, more surprised than displeased.

- “I’m sorry- you just looked so…. i’m sorry- I rushed you didn’t I, shit- y/n I’m so-”

- “I don’t know what you want from me Tae,” you say gesturing to your stomach, he starts to look abashed and ashamed, but then relents at your soft expression “but if we’re going to see each other like that, then you have to know that I miss them.” You say softly while looking out at the water, your hand hovering over your swollen stomach.

- “them?” he asks, looking surprised, you nod, “them.”

- “And I’m not going to stop missing them, probably for a long while. I think I always will. And if you’re ok with that- if you don’t mind-” Tae reaches up, running a hand across your face and you find yourself leaning into his touch, its been so long since anyone’s touched you with any affection. Your body is so hungry, so needy for it.

- “I don’t care who else is in your heart, I only want a place in It.” Tae says after a moment. Leaning his forehead against yours.

- You and tae start casually seeing each other, you stop by his coffee shop most days before work, it’s a street off from your company’s main building, and Tae always has a bag of coffee cake or a plate full of raspberry tarts for you, he pushes away your money with a lopsided grin the makes your heart beat rapidly. He even steps away during the busiest times to sit with you and just talk.

- Sometimes he plops your feet up on his lap and massages your swollen ankles, his smiles sweeter than the pastries, not taking no for an answer until you’ve tried every kind the café offers at least twice because he wants to know which are your favorite.

- One-night Taehyung finds your photo of all of them and your old cellphone in your dresser. And you're just trying to crack an egg into a pan when he comes out holding it. you almost drop the carton when he asks you who they are.

- He sits you down and you start breathing heavily and tells you that you don’t need to tell him- he sends a concerned look at your stomach, and that it doesn't matter if it's going to make you upset. you don't mean to have a panic attack but really, turning around and seeing your...your boyfriend holding the picture of your baby daddy just suprised you.

- tae looks like he honestly wants to know, So you launch into the story of your best friend who you’ve loved and will love until the day you die. Cradle to grave and all that.

- Fuck you miss jimin so much. You miss them all, Hoseok, yoongi and Namjoon. He laughs like Namjoon did when you tell him childhood stories of you and jimin and listens eagerly as you tell him about your college experience and trying to stay away.

- He’s a little quieter when he learns about the alpha’s that you love while you point at their faces in the picture and smile. He smiles a little though when you start listing off the things about them that you love. And he gets a little sadder when he realizes it will always be love- And not loved.

- your love for them hasn’t faded. not in all these months apart.

- He wishes you would move on from them. Wishes he was the only one who had ever made a home out of your heart. But he understands why you can’t- you’re carrying his child after all. The one with the gray hair in the photo, you tell him as much.

- he touches the photograph softly, “I understand why you miss them so much- it must have been so nice having so many people to love you and to love them back.”

- “it really was.”

- “I wish I was worth that” Taehyung says softly, his face downturned. You kiss away his worries, “you are tae- never think you’re not worth it- because you are.” he pulls you to him and kisses your forehead as his mind turns your words over in his head.

- maybe your words have a double meaning, maybe maybe, runs through his head. And he shakes off thoughts of other omega’s and directs his attention to you.

- “so are we going to eat dinner together or what? Should I call for takeout”

- But no matter where you go home too at night, no matter how good things are with Tae, you can’t help but think about Namjoon’s arms encircling your waist, about Yoongi’s quiet roll of his knuckles against your side in a silent hello.

- About Hoseok’s sweet kisses and how he would take your hand in his and drag you up from wherever you were sitting to slow dance with you around your kitchen when you were sad, and how it would eventually devolve into giggles and awkward butt wiggles.

- Nothing like how it was when you left when Hoseok would barely look at you- and if he did even look at you, it would only be with disdain and anger so severe that it would make you shake.

- But most of all you miss Jimin, the way he would hang on Namjoon’s thighs while gripping yours, how when he would laugh he would throw himself onto your shoulder to hide his closed-eyed smile in your skin. the way you’d smell so much like each other you could hardly distinguish your scents anymore.

- The first night you sleepover at Taehyung’s house you end up waking up in the middle of the night and reaching out for another set of arms.

- Taehyung wakes up too you wearing his silk robe and crying on his balcony, where you went to hide your sobs, he runs his hands up and down your arms while talking to you quietly, saying that you should come inside.

- That the cold is bad for the baby, and he’s right, you’re shaking like a leaf and your belly has grown so much in the past month. You’re nearly 5 months along- you’ve only known tae for a few months, but he already wants to tell you he loves you. He already loves you and the baby- it doesn’t matter that he’s not the father.

- But what you don’t know is that at that moment, Jimin is doing the same thing, crying on a balcony, feeling unable to go back inside as he looks out over the view that the two of you used to love. He remembers how you would drag the alphas out onto the balcony to eat dinner or play a game or just sitting, talking as you looked at the city.

- Because the apartment inside doesn’t feel like it used to- try as he might it doesn’t feel like home anymore, because you’re not there and everything is slowly falling apart- has been for months, and by now Jimin feels like he’s falling apart too.

- It feels like he’s been watching a train wreck in slow motion since you left.

------------------------------------

(once again! this series will never be finished! just fyi!)

#sandcastles #bts poly au #bts a/b/o #bts angst #sandcastles; snippets #Anonymous

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bnhaficsforthesoul · 4 years

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Hi hi um could you do how bakugo todoroki and Hitoshi would react if there s/o got pregnant when they are in high school still ( like the last year so they’re 18 ) thank you I love your writing 🥺💕

Thank you!

Warning: unplanned pregnancy, mentions of abortion

Bakugou

Obviously would be very stressed out and lowkey pissed

Cause he has so much planned for his future, he doesn’t have time for a baby

He doesn’t blame you but if you want to keep the baby its gonna be tough

He’ll do his best to help you out, he doesn’t want to leave you but he doesn’t know how much help he can give, he wants to focus on his life before having a kid

In school obviously being pregnant draws attention and you can’t really go along with all of the hardcore training and hero stuff, especially once you get further in the pregnancy

So he’ll help you talk to the teachers and everyone about it, and he’ll make sure that everyone knows that if they say anything bad about you he’ll fight them

This will probably be a very stressful period for the both of you, he’s doing his best to replan his life to incorporate a baby because he does still want to be with you, but he’s also gonna be on edge a lot and this might cause a lot of arguments

Todoroki

He takes it fairly well - he’s very quick to reevaluate his life goals and incorporate a baby

Of course he’s also absolutely terrified of having a kid, so there will be a lot of conversations at the beginning regarding whether youre ready to have a baby and if you should consider abortion or adoption

But with your support he’ll get through it, and he’s very helpful during the pregnancy for whatever you need

He’ll talk to the teachers if youre scared to, he thinks it would be best if you just didn’t come to school at all during at least your 3rd trimester and you also cant do too much physical work

He’s very protective, practically glued to your hip the whole time

He’ll probably buy you two an apartment that you would live in instead of the dorms, that way the baby will already have somewhere to live and will have everything set up for them

Shouto is also willing to put off becoming an actual hero for a couple more years, he has enough money from his dad that he can use to support you all and he wants to be there for you and his kid

Shinsou

He doesnt know how to act honestly

Cause on one hand he’s fine with having a kid with you, but on the other hand its not like either of you are really ready to support and raise one

But he just goes “okay - we’ll figure this out” and starts thinking of ways to earn money and what to do about your hero lives

Luckily for you two you have the support of aizawa, who you had to tell because he’s one of your teachers and you had to tell them all

Hes not exactly happy with you two but he will help you, giving you money and saying if nothing else he’ll raise the baby, or he’ll help you get an apartment if you are set on raising them yourselves

Shinsou, even though this is kinda a bad situation overall, is still happy

Once all of the harder details of what youre gonna do get figured out he’s excited for the baby

Even if it puts a brake on your life plans, he’s willing to go through that so that you can have the baby

#bakugou #bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki #bakugou imagine #bakugou headcanons #todoroki #todoroki shouto #todoroki imagine #todoroki x reader #todoroki headcanons #shinsou #shinsou x reader #shinsou hitoshi #shinsou headcanons #shinsou imagine #bnha #mha

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hippocampus-studies · 5 years

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Hi maybe this is random but im in college and i am so stressed and anxious. How do you overcome study anxiety and the fear of failing. I feel so scared of doing badly and being stupid that i cant do anything sometimes. It feels like a self fulfilling prophecy. Any advice would help thanks✨

Hey!

I’ve dealt a lot with study anxiety over the years, and I know what if feels like to be paralyzed with the fear of failing. It seems like the cycle is pretty universal: you’re scared that you’re going to fail so you have trouble starting whatever you need to do which just makes you more scared and anxious than before. It’s something I’m still trying to work through, but I have some things I’ve picked up that have helped me.

Have realistic expectations of yourself

Fear of failing has a root in perfectionism. I think college is especially rough for perfectionists because the unfortunate truth is just about everyone fails once or twice in college. I’ve done so more times than I care to admit, and what I’ve realized is that it’s really easy to fall into all-or-nothing thinking about classes. Being 100% perfect and “on” all the time is not realistic, nor is it helpful to completely shut down when things begin to get difficult. Finding some sort of middle ground is not always easy, but I promise it’s achievable. For example maybe you have a bunch of things you need to get done today but they’re all difficult and you can’t figure out which one to do first, and the next thing you know it’s 8pm and you’ve gotten none of them done. Next time that happens, try to rank your to-do list in terms of what needs to get done right away, and what tasks are easiest/fastest to do. Start with the easy tasks to get momentum and then try and do at least one of the urgent tasks. That way even if you only get half of your to-do list done that day it still ends up being more than if you hadn’t started, and it’s likely that it’ll seem more manageable at that point.

Reach out for help

College has the deceptive ability to make you think that everyone around you is doing fine (especially if you’re in a competitive major or program) but I promise that you’re not the only one of your friends or classmates that is feeling this way. If you have peers in your life that you feel comfortable talking to about this, it can be extremely helpful to know that you are not alone in how you’re feeling. My only caveat is not to fall into what I call the Stress Olympics, which is where you and your stressed-out friends go around and try and compete to see who is the most stressed/under the most pressure. It’s not a helpful thing to do, and while venting to a trusted friend or friends can be great sometimes, if you catch you and your peers trying to one-up each other to see who is the most busy or who has had the least amount of sleep, you’re just going to end up making all of yourselves more stressed and worried than when you started.

It’s also worth it to talk to professors or school counselors. A lot of colleges offer counseling/life coaching, and most of them have been trained specifically to help with student-oriented issues (test anxiety, overcoming perfectionism, etc.).

Talking to professors can also be helpful! Most have had students that have felt overwhelmed by the workload or the subject matter, and most are also much more likely to work with you in terms of extensions for papers, extra tutoring, etc. if you go and talk to them in person. I know it’s really scary, (I still get nervous every time I go to office hours if I’m being honest) but most professors genuinely want to see you succeed in their class, and the more you’re open with them the more they’re willing to work with you.

Organization!

Okay I know there are about a million organization masterposts on studyblr so I won’t go too much into it, but there a couple things I’ve found to be very helpful. I’ve noticed that I end up getting more overwhelmed when I find dates for exams and projects creep up on me unexpectedly, so I have a set of calendars printed off (just from google, nothing too fancy) and the only thing I put on them is when all of my quizzes and exams are, when my projects are due, and other relevant dates for the semester (holidays, days off, etc.). I check it once a week when I put my weekly schedule together so I’m never caught off-guard by quizzes and exams that are a couple weeks down the road.

The other thing I do is make sure all my papers for my classes are organized. I have a pending box on my desk, and every couple of days I go through the papers in them and either recycle them or put them in a binder for the respective class. That way all my study material is in one place, and I’m not sifting through other classes when trying to study or work on a paper, nor do I lose papers at the bottom of my backpack.

Take care of yourself

Another thing that can lead to the paralyzation of procrastination is burnout. Taking care of yourself is incredibly hard in college, but it’s also one of the most important things you can do. Self-care usually falls into three broad categories:

Physical—this is usually what people think about when it comes to self-care: eating right, exercising, and getting enough sleep. The important thing to remember is that physical self-care looks different depending on the person. Not everyone has the energy to work out every day, and some people need more or less sleep than others. The important thing to do is listen to your body, especially when it comes to sleep—neuroscientists have shown that sleep is imperative for cognitive function like memory, so I would always advise getting the extra few hours of sleep instead of trying to cram in a little more studying.

Mental—taking care of your mental health is one of the most important things you can do to avoid burnout, but I also think it’s one of the hardest things to do. Humans are not machines; we cannot be switched on 24/7, and we need time to do things beside studying or working. My advice is to try and do at least one thing a day that you would classify as taking care of your mental health, whether it’s taking a 20 minute study break to watch rip vine compilations on youtube or taking an unplanned nap in the middle of the day. If you have some sort of a creative outlet like drawing or singing or cooking, it’s a great idea to try and carve out a little bit of time every week (even if it’s just half an hour) to express yourself creatively.

Social—whether you consider yourself to be more introverted or extroverted, spending time with people you care about is imperative to avoiding burnout. Finding friends in college can be hard, but I know that a great way to find people with common interests is to join clubs—specifically clubs that aren’t about your major or career. I’m in a voter advocacy club despite the fact that I’m a STEM major that will not academically benefit from being in the group. What’s infinitely more important is that I have a time once a week where I get to talk with friends about a subject that brings me joy and passion without ever bringing up my major or classes. Finding a group like that, whether it’s a friend group or a club or an intramural sports team, is going to help you in the long run far more than that extra hour of studying a week.

Just get started

This is the hardest thing on the list, in my opinion. The reason that studying anxiety can lead to procrastination is the mindset that you have do whatever you’re doing perfectly or it isn’t valid at all, and I can’t put into words how important it is to try and break that mindset. Just starting something, even if it isn’t perfect, or even if it’s starting to study later than you’d rather, is so, so much better than doing nothing. The moment you try and start doing what you’re doing, even if it isn’t perfect, is the moment you start to beat the perfectionist/procrastination mindset.

It’s easy to fall into the anxiety➡procrastination➡working too hard to make up for what you missed➡burnout➡procrastination cycle, but one of the best ways to break out of it is to not be too hard on yourself if you get anxious or procrastinate. Remind yourself that you’re human and you’re allowed to be imperfect. If you make mistakes or procrastinate along the way, make sure to speak gently to yourself—being unnecessarily harsh with yourself is only going to hurt you in the long run, and one of the best things you can do for yourself is to do your best to be kind to yourself.

These are just some things I’ve picked up over the last couple of years. If anyone else has something I missed please feel free to add it, but otherwise keep ur head up bby!! College is hard but I promise you’ll get through it 🌱

#i know how ur feeling anon i've been there before #but you're not alone and you can get thru it !!#my stuff #study #studyblr #studyspo #motivation #study motivation #studying #college #university #mental health #also I'm always around if you want someone to talk to :)

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