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softichill · 8 months

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The Sounds of Nightmares unofficial transcript

Chapter 3 - The Theater of the Mind

(Once again made with @queen0fm0nsterz!!!)

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

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[Click]

[Otto sighs, shifting]

OTTO: Noone vanished last night.

[Another sigh]

OTTO: As she slept, I was monitoring her ultradian sleep cycle. There was no REM/NREM oscillation; instead, involuntary spasms grew progressively worse. [shift] As I was about to wake Noone, her… body… evanesced. For a split instant- then returned, calm as can be.

OTTO: [deep breath, loud exhale] Lacking sleep, I can’t be sure I wasn’t hallucinating. Yet the image of her sheets deflating… is imprinted upon my mind. [Sigh] After yesterday’s session, no less, when she claimed to hear this:

[Click, tape plays]

Recording of NOONE: “The faraway drifts near. Tread long, then, sink deep. Two flows from one, and here, is whole again.”

[Click, tape stops]

OTTO: A coincidence? [light clinking of ceramic/glass] Or, synchronicity? …(Scoff) Is that that bloody moth again?!

[Loud smack, Otto sits back down]

OTTO: Riddle piles upon riddle, and answers continue to elude. [Tape rewinding] I’ll sift through every word if I must.

[Intro plays]

[Click]

[Loud clicking and clacking, electric humming, Otto screwing something in]

OTTO: [Humming drops, returns] It’s clear. Noone’s symptoms go beyond parasomnias. [Continuing to build] Her retellings are too detailed, vocabulary too advanced, as if derived from the oneiric itself.

[Humming raises in pitch, clicking]

OTTO: However, what I find impossible to believe is that Noone’s seen who you saw, Cici. [Chair creaks, clattering] If two people, without any contact, shared the exact same observation, is it proof of transpersonal dreaming?

[Otto’s building continues]

OTTO: But such implies concurrence! And these dreams are years apart! Then… no. [buzzing picks up] I cannot be taken to metaphysical backwaters. Sounding like my old professor. [building] I’ve remained balanced over the years by clinging to the notion that my recollection of what happened years ago was wrong. [click, humming gets loud again] But now, those memories are coming home to roost.

[Clicks, electronic humming, building stops]

OTTO: [Shift] Before I began at the CPI I promised to finish this apparatus. I let it fall away, convinced that attempting it was fool’s work. Now struggling to put myself in her shoes, well. Fool me twice.

[Humming gets louder, buzzes out completely as it shocks Otto and he lets out an “Oh!”]

[A small pained noise from Otto before he starts to put the apparatus away]

[Door opens]

OTTO: (Gasp) Noone! [Scoff, he walks away from the recorder] You’re meant to wait outside.

NOONE: (Far away) What are you working on?-

[Audio cuts]

[Click, blank noise]

[Audio starts again]

OTTO: We’ve come to know each other better over the past weeks, haven’t we?

NOONE: Because we’re friends! That’s why. And, friends tell each other things.

OTTO: Friends. That’s right. One of the absolutes I’ve come to realize is that, the more time you spend with someone, the harder it becomes to hide who you really are. The only exception to this rule is with the company of oneself- we willfully hide what we’d rather not face. Like, the Candleman you mentioned seeing, under hypnosis.

NOONE: I don’t like that.

OTTO: What?

NOONE: Hiding things from myself.

OTTO: Nobody likes it. That’s why it’s important to reveal your inner face. “Depth analysis”, we call it. And so, I’d like you to think of this session as a dialogue with your unconscious mind- you are asking the questions, not me.

NOONE: …Asking myself questions?

OTTO: I’ll help! But, as you go, I’d like you to try. So! This… Candleman. Did you see him again?

NOONE: I-I did.

OTTO: And what was this meeting like?

NOONE: …He was much clearer. Not just him, everything about it. My nightmare.

OTTO: Elaborate, please. Was it worse? More vivid?

NOONE: What’s it like- Uhm… as if I’m watching a film, that I’m also the star of. And when I woke… it was here, in the Coppy, that felt more like the dream.

OTTO: Hm, more palpable. The Candleman-

NOONE: I can’t talk about him without the rest. …If this is an interview with myself, might I begin where I want?

OTTO: Of course! Let your imagination run. But don’t be afraid to interact with the dream. This is an important step in our process- the dialogue. Bring together the divided parts of yourself.

NOONE: …The mirror.

OTTO: Pardon?

NOONE: The one off your shelf. If I’m meant to speak to myself, well…

OTTO: [Pause] …Patients aren’t meant to have mirrors, but, here you are, my bright girl.

[Otto gives her the mirror]

OTTO: Begin as you please.

[Pause]

NOONE, Narrating: …In the dark… a hand let go of mine.

[Slip noise, Dream!Noone gasps. Dream ambience begins.]

NOONE: Opening my eyes, I lay on hot concrete, staring up at a sky with- no sun. And… before me was, endless grey, broken by- yellow lines of paint, all the way to the horizon!

NOONE: Standing, in that carpark, I heard a silence. So silent, my own heartbeat was a marching drum in comparison. …It was followed by… a loneliness, so lonely, I could hardly bear it. I had to turn away.

[Dream!Noone walking on gravel]

NOONE: Behind me, I was glad to see a building! A shopping mall, so large I- I felt half my normal size. Its doors opened, [sliding gravel] and I ran to them.

[running footsteps, transition from gravel to tile. Doors close behind Dream!Noone.]

NOONE: Inside the promenade, [lights click on] the lights flicked on, one by one, greeting me as the PA speakers came alive with music.

[Tinny, slightly off-sounding mall music]

NOONE: It had been ages since I’d visited a shopping center. I didn’t know where to start!

OTTO: You saw no need to find an exit right away?

NOONE: I felt like I was in good hands. But many shops were closed, though. There were no doors, and… no displays in the windows. Or, there must have been a private entrance, because- I could see shadows beyond the glass.

NOONE: …A-after passing by several shops this way, I grew disappointed, but that’s when… a cowboy’s voice came over the speaker.

COWBOY, slightly overlapped with Noone: “Sale at Jujube’s Toys! Dolls, games, puzzles, and more! Ground floor by the fountain!”

NOONE: I could see that fountain in front of me! And on the other side, was… a bright green storefront, with bubbles floating out the entrance.

[Dream!Noone walking over, doors hiss as they open. Different tinny music.]

NOONE: Shelves and- shelves of wonders lined the shop! The toys on the first shelf were very old, but… deeper shelves held the same toys I had back home, and deeper ones held exactly those I’d wish for, even Little Lotty Potty! But… these Lotties had black eyes, not blue. And their skin was… yellow, like autumn leaves.

NOONE: The shop owner wasn’t present, so… I grabbed one and began playing on the carpet.

[Dream!Noone humming Six’s Theme. Doll makes automated noises.]

NOONE: But, it didn’t take long for me to grow… bored. That was the first time I… I felt too old for dolls.

OTTO: (distant-sounding) Maturity is natural as you approach adolescence. The brain loses interest in things once held dear.

NOONE: The idea of growing up made me sad. And as if reacting… Lotty’s dress became wet. The doll was doing as its name said, but… [doll chattering] the liquid was- dark and thick. I put her down to find something else. But the choices were almost too many! Towering shelves extending deep in- the gloom of the impossibly long shop!

NOONE: I settled on the games section, but, most were meant for two. Suddenly, a staticky whisper said,

Voice, overlapping with NOONE: “I’ll play with you.”

NOONE: I-I thought it was the shopkeeper, but… nobody was around. My eyes fell upon a jewelry-making kit, with a red necklace on the cover. I took the box back to where I left Lotty, only… she was gone. The shelf above, where the other dolls had been, was completely empty too. I wanted to make the jewelry, I really did, but… I felt weird, so… I put it down. Then, the PA crackled, a woman’s voice this time:

Voice, ov. NOONE: “Jujube’s Toys is now closing.”

NOONE: [Lights clicking off] The lights shut off, bubbles stopped… and, the last thing I saw before exiting… [toy train noises] was the train set crashing to a stop. [quiet fake bell ringing, toy engine stops]

[Dream!Noone walking out of the store]

NOONE: The promenade was empty, still. Each step [steps become echoey] echoed across the walls and floors, which were- pearl white, and had patterns like… veins.

[steps and music continues]

NOONE: I came to three sets of stairs, side-by-side, leading to the next floor. I chose one, and, reaching to the top, I saw another open shop. Mademoiselle’s… (saying it wrong) bijottery.

OTTO: (still distant) Bijouterie. But, regardless- you could read this?

NOONE: Yes. The letters were quite big.

OTTO: …Have you been able to read in your dreams before?

NOONE: I’m not sure. That’s not a question I would ask myself, though, Otto.

OTTO: Apologies.

NOONE, Narrating: The glass case in the center of the room… pulled me in. Full of… gold, and silver necklaces. Hanging in the middle, was… an enchanting red pendant. And before you ask, yes, it was just like on the box at the toy store. T-The PA came on again,

Voice, ov. with NOONE: “A free gift to all little girls 10 and under!”

NOONE: Without asking, I put the necklace on, glowing, like a ruby teardrop. With my gift, I set to leave, but… someone must’ve left the speaker on because… I heard arguing.

NOONE: (overlapping) “Don’t overdo it!” Said a first voice, followed by a second, (overlapping) “One more prize can’t hurt!”

[something being set down, wheels across tile, whoosh]

NOONE: From the back room, a rack of dresses rolled out. All, exactly my size.

[Dream!Noone looking through the dresses]

NOONE: It’d been ages since I’d been allowed to pick out my own dress. The telly people chose them for me. These ones were very pretty, with lace and, and bows and stitching but, one… it… it was the plaid dress I wore the day I arrived at the Coppy. How could my dress be here? [lowering pitch of voice, asking questions to herself] Your real life doesn’t have to mix into your dreams Noone, why now?

OTTO, interrupting narration: (astonished) Pardon?

NOONE: (giggling) I’m asking myself questions. Well, the only explanation is that they could see inside my head.

OTTO: I’m not sure that’s logical.

NOONE: Let me finish! Please. You’ll see.

NOONE, narrating: Back out on the promenade, the shop gates began to slam shut. [Gates slamming] I was worried the mall was closing, but on the floor above, a set of spinning bright lights came on [Lights turn on]. The music stopped and, the PA crackled with a sing-songy voice,

Voice, ov. with NOONE: [music] “Showtime’s patrons! Our daily motion picture will begin shortly. Hot popcorn’s popping and the seats await in the playhouse!”

NOONE: [Lights shutting off] The rest of the mall went dark, making the lights more enticing to follow.

[Dream!Noone walks across the mall]

NOONE: The lobby was- red from floor to ceiling. Buckets of popcorn overflowed on the concession stand. I grabbed one, and hurried to push open the huge golden doors leading into the theater.

[Running steps, doors creak. Slightly off organ music plays.]

NOONE: The velvet seats went for rows and rows, full of people. A spotlight hit the stage, illuminating an organ, but… there was no organ player. Only tall curtains swaying in some breeze. I tiptoed down the aisle, and sat centered with the screen. The chair seemed to hug me, and the room fell dark [crunching] as the first buttery bit hit my tongue.

[Music stops playing, sounds of projector booting up]

NOONE: Without adverts or introduction, the film began. Images of… trees on fire and… white hooves galloping. I recognized the picture instantly because I’ve seen it a hundred times. “The Healing Horn”. [Movie plays] Only the scenes were out of order, and the unicorn… her horn was misshapen, like… a rotten tree branch. The evil prince’s face, too, was… was wrong.

NOONE: Feeling out of place I – I looked around. The audience, I… I realized, was not people but… mannequins.

NOONE: All of a sudden, a familiar scent entered the dream. Ocean. I was no longer alone. The dusty projector light made it difficult to suss, but a few seats over… was the Candleman. His eyes and mouth were… deep black pits inside a mess like a wet gunny sack, sagging down the floor. Without turning, he spoke.

[Growing noise stops]

OTTO, interrupting abruptly: He – what?! [Shifting] What did he say?

NOONE: [Sighing] It was like a – a voice underwater. The words could hardly escape the folds of skin. He repeated them to me.

NOONE as the FERRYMAN, glitching: “The faraway drifts near. Tread long, then sink deep. Two flows from one, and here, is whole again.”

OTTO: And then? [shifting in the chair] What else?

NOONE, as the FERRYMAN: “Here. Here. Here.”

NOONE: He just repeated over and over.

OTTO: There must be more! Try, try! Interact with the dream!

NOONE: There was no more!

OTTO: (raising his voice) Ask who he is, ask what he wants!

NOONE: (raising her voice) It doesn’t work that way!

OTTO: You were right there! Don’t tell me you did nothing?! Not a damn thing!

NOONE: Stop!

OTTO: [farther away] I’m beginning to doubt you’ve seen this Candleman! [Noone struggling] Perhaps you’ve invented the whole story!

NOONE: Please, stop- my head!

[Otto hisses (gets hit?), sounds of something being knocked over, Noone runs out of the room.]

[Otto huffs and stops the tape]

[Click. Blank noise. Another click]

[Various shifting noises. Silence. Door opens and someone walks, then closes it]

OTTO: [far away, stern] What are you doing? With the mirror. [Steps] You’re up to something, but we’ll let it slide. I know girls like you.

[Shifting]

OTTO: You’re upset with me, aren’t you? [plastic clacking] Here. A pill for your headache. (Sigh) Earlier, that was… awfully…[Otto sits] that- that was not how friends act. Sleep has evaded me too. I’ve grown worried, trying to… please, forgive me. I’d very much like to hear the rest. I won’t interrupt, you have my word.

[Silence.]

NOONE: … Fine.

OTTO: So… you were in this theater with him.

NOONE, narrating: … All kinds of pictured* flashed on the screen, and then he was gone, leaving me alone again. Or so I thought. The projector flickered in the booth. I dashed up, and found the door ajar. A new voice came over the PA, angry. “No patrons in the projection room!” The door was stuck, but I pushed and pushed. The PA boomed,

VOICE, ov. with NOONE: “You must not enter!”

[Crashing, door opens]

NOONE: The projector I saw first was shaped like… a deformed eye. Then, my attention fell to… the mass on the floor. [Slimy sound] A brain? A heart? …No. It’s muscles pumped and pumped, and its tubes ran into the walls. The voice came, both from inside the room and over the PA:

VOICE, ov. with NOONE: “Happy day, No One.”

NOONE: It… it knew my real nickname. The ones kids at school scribbled all over my books. How? Because it was in my head. …I asked, “You’re the one who’s been talking? All those voices?”. Then, I saw countless film cans around the room, and understood. It was so alone, it took to imitating. Then it said,

VOICE, ov. with NOONE: “Are you going to leave? Like all the others?”

NOONE: I managed a… “Yes”. The thing began pulsing and, upset, it sort of cried out.

VOICE, ov. with NOONE: “So many, they take what they want and go, or get snatched away or worse!”

NOONE: It paused, then went on,

VOICE, ov. with NOONE: “Whatever you desire, it’s yours.”

NOONE: … But I didn’t want anything from it. The PA belted,

VOICE, ov. with NOONE: “The pendant! You wanted that!”

NOONE: The pulsing worsened until another voice came within the first,

VOICE 2, ov. with NOONE: “You’ve driven another away!” [Not overlapping, repeating: “You’ve driven another away!]

NOONE: I felt bad for it. Or them… this place had been warped by pain, and wanted so badly to keep me. Even the walls began throbbing. What could I do?!

[Noise intensifies, Dream!Noone breathes heavily]

NOONE: I – I ran. Down the stairs, out of the theater.

[Dream!Noone runs away]

NOONE: On the promenade, the lights were flashing so as to be dizzying. The PA screeched,

VOICE, ov. with NOONE: “Everyone needs someone! Don’t leave me alone!”

NOONE: The walls began to cry that dark thick liquid, pooling around me, I looked up. From the floor above, the Candleman stared, pointing at my chest. At the pendant. I flung it down into the liquid, then he reached a hand toward me and –

[All noise stops]

NOONE: And all faded, as the PA sobbed,

VOICE, ov. with NOONE: “Don’t take her! Not this one, too…”

[Narration stops. Silence. Shifting]

OTTO: T-There was um… uh, e-excuse me, a curious phrase. “Warped by pain”. Is that how you feel, sometimes?

[Silence]

OTTO: Noone? Are you still angry with me? Or… distracted by the mirror?

NOONE: Behind my ear… there’s… a sore.

OTTO: Is that why you wanted the mirror all along?

NOONE: [Hum] It’s like the ones I used to get. I need to see it.

[Shifting]

OTTO: Nothing’s there. It’s red because you’ve been picking at it.

NOONE: …I have one more question for myself. Why do I have these dreams? Water sickness, that’s my answer.

OTTO: Noone. It’s wiped out of your system. There have been no known reinfections. It’s in your mind.

NOONE: (with increasing distress) What if the cure is the cause? I never had nightmares or headaches before all of this, before going on telly, before – before this! –

OTTO, interrupting: (whispering) No, no, come, come, come, come here, my girl. [Shifting, Otto hugs Noone] You’re not sick. You’re perfectly fine. You’re a perfectly wonderful little girl. This time I will protect you.

[The mirror falls on the ground and breaks]

NOONE: I’m sorry! I’m sorry, uh, you were squeezing so tight and… it slipped.

[The mirror shards are picked up. Otto throws them away]

OTTO: You asked why you dream. The truth? Nobody knows. My studies always assumed they were more than the brain’s way of filtering unconscious thoughts. But I had no answer either. An old professor of mine thought he did. He believed dreams come from an ever shifting plane, a quiddity of consciousness.

NOONE: Quidd-i-ty…

OTTO: Quiddity. The essence of a thing. In this case, a semiatangible plane outside the mind.

NOONE: Is it the same as mutual dreams? I don’t understand.

OTTO: My colleagues didn’t either. I’ve flip-flopped over the years, but I figured it was impossible to prove.

NOONE: Will I ever get rid of them, then? Will I ever leave the Coppy?

OTTO: You must understand, you are a unique case. I want to let you go, as soon as –

NOONE, interrupting: I’m better?

OTTO: (sighing) Yes. As soon as you’re better. [Otto stands, picks something up] Now –

NOONE: I know, I know. (Lower pitch, mimicking Otto) “Sweets for my sweet”. …Do I have to go back to my room?

[Sounds of plates]

OTTO: I’ve- got to tidy, [wrappers] and, you reminded me there’s something I need to find. On you go. I’ll come by later.

[Shift, audio cuts]

[Audio starts]

[Otto looks through papers, and sighs]

OTTO: Ah, I found it. The paper that stained my professor’s career. Kept it all these years, hoping and dreading there was truth in these words…

OTTO, reading: “We know now that there is no center to the universe. Previously we thought it was the Sun, before that we thought it was the Earth. Our species always insists that ours is the quintessence of experience. Yet scientific observation proves our folly ad nauseum. If geocentrism took centuries to disprove, the question is not if but when the same will happen to reality itself. That which we are equipped to perceive may not be the only world. Let alone the predominant one.”

[Click]

[Outro plays]

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*This is what she actually says. I have no idea why.

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spunkypigeon · 2 years

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Diabolik Lovers Drama CD Analysis: The Dinner Banquet by Moonlight

This drama CD is already a part of my HDB route analysis for Reiji’s character, however, I wanted to post it separately for convenience - this post mainly consists of both analysis and my own thoughts and interpretations. I thought I’d post this separately just in case anyone wanted to read my thoughts on it without having to scroll down my entire HDB route analysis.

As always, this transcript is by the lovely @dialovers-translations.

So, shall we begin?

Word Count: 9,171 words

*Cling*

Reiji: Haah...I simply cannot get enough of the fragrance of this tea. During this short timespan given to me, I get to indulge in the highest of luxuries. At dawn, when everyone is falling asleep, enjoying a cup of tea by myself. A wonderful time just by myself. I even find myself wishing that the fools in this household would just never wake up again.

The door opens.

Shuu: ー Sorry to crush your dreams, but I’ll have to interrupt your ideal time.

Reiji: Hm? ...Tsk, Shuu. You truly do appear at the worst possible times. Hmph. Thanks to you, the best time and space changed to the worst time and space in the blink of an eye.

You usually do not wake up over the slightest thing, so what’s the matter?

Shuu: Hm...For some reason I couldn’t fall asleep. There’s this certain thing missing from my bed after all.

Reiji: ...’This certain thing?’

Right at the beginning of this CD, it’s pointed out to us that Reiji rarely gets his own time, he’s always busy with something and never really has any time to himself to relax - bringing us back to his perfectionism and how that can cause people to become restless until something has been ‘perfected’, leaving sparse amounts of time to simply sit back and enjoy your own company; yet that becomes interrupted, and Reiji’s sour mood returns.

It’s quite fitting that out of all the brothers, it’s Shuu who decides to deflate Reiji’s mood - if you’ve played or followed Shuu’s route, then you know that he’ll frequently do things to intentionally irritate Reiji, and I think that is exactly what he’s doing here. Shuu has a trivial problem, an inconvenience, and who does he annoy ? Reiji, and him being the way he is, voices his disdain for Shuu’s presence. What I find to be quite apt is how Shuu gives a vague hint to his problem and expects Reiji to know what it is. The reason I’ve said that it’s quite fitting of Shuu’s character to do this is because he does the same thing but with his emotions throughout his route - not only does he not elaborate on his inconvenience, but he purposefully makes Reiji question the circumstance; and we all know that Reiji despises not understanding things. To link back to a prior section, notice how Reiji only vocalises his displeasure, he doesn’t physically remove Shuu at any point, implying that he may not hate Shuu as a person, but he doesn’t condone his behaviour. Shuu catches Reiji’s attention and then promptly cuts him off, annoying him. Furthermore, notice how Reiji was the first person Shuu went to, yes Reiji is the most mature, but Shuu still went to him to fix his problem; that could imply that in this scenario, Reiji acts as the ‘caretaker’, the mature figurehead who deals with everything from financial affairs to personal problems - this further shows his need to succeed at everything, and be ‘perfect’ -.

Shuu: Nn...I’m tired...Oh well, I’ll sleep.

He drops down on the couch.

Reiji: Ah...! Wait! Please do not sleep on the couch!

Shuu: Zzz...Zz...

Reiji: Ugh...You...Vampire version of Sleeping Beauty! Shuu! You’re in the way! If you fall asleep there, it’ll ruin my long-awaited tea time! You’re an eyesore, so please disappear from my sight!

Shuu: ...Hm? ー Zz...Zz...

Reiji: ...! Kuh...He won’t wake up. This guy really...!

Hm. Oh well, it’s fine. I suppose he wishes to be killed by me. I’ll grant your wish right now.

Reiji pulls out a blade.

Reiji: Fufufu...If that’s what you want, Using this silver knife I’ve spent days and nights sharpening, I’ll chop off your head in a single motion. This is your punishment for corrupting my wonderful space. You deserve to die while writhing in pain.

Shuu: Nn... (sleep-talking) I can’t...suck no more...Zz...

Reiji: Heh. Dream on for eternity, Sakamaki Shuu.

Notice how Reiji still keeps up his politeness, even when practically yelling at Shuu - it’s fairly easy to see how much Reiji resents his brother, and with that in mind, it’s a natural response to be quick to anger. Yet, with Reiji’s annoyance growing, you’d think that his form of speech would differ and grow more irascible in his wording. I find it quite apt for Reiji to call Shuu “Sleeping Beauty”, not only for the fact that he usually just sleeps all the time, but the fact that Aurora/Talia/Briar-Rose (depending on what source you’re reading from) was a princess within the fable...and given that Karlheinz is the current Vampire King, that would give Shuu a ‘princely’ status. To add onto this, just because I thought it was neat, in the Disney adaptation of the fable, Aurora only speaks 18 lines - which reminded me of how little Shuu tends to speak. There’s not much to analyse for that part but I thought I’d mention it since I thought it was quite apt of Reiji to draw this comparison.

Something that did strike me as strange, was how Reiji decided to draw his sharpened knife at this point in the narrative - if Reiji truly hated Shuu (which I don’t think he does) why wait until now to attempt his murder ? In all honesty, I don’t think Reiji would’ve actually killed Shuu; in my opinion, I think it was more of a ploy to wake Shuu up - put him on high alert - and get him to leave the room. It’s in a vampire’s nature to have higher senses, so one should be able to detect another and or possible danger and it can be implied that Reiji was attempting to use those senses to his advantage in order to get Shuu to leave of his own accord. Additionally, how Reiji claims, “This is your punishment for corrupting my wonderful space. You deserve to die while writhing in pain” could be inferred to refer not only to Reiji’s current dilemma - his “wonderful space” being his time to himself without being interrupted, being surrounded by his own company and relishing in the sparseness of their occurrence; since Shuu has interrupted that, it has therefore become corrupt - however, it could also relate back to Reiji’s childhood and his CEN. It could be implied that if Shuu had been different, Reiji’s childhood might have been different too, but due to that not occurring, Reiji’s once ‘pure’ childhood has now been tarnished and 'corrupted' - pure in the sense that as an infant he would’ve received the care he needed, yet due to Shuu’s importance, that pure, ‘motherly’ care and acknowledgement was lost, and his once “wonderful space” was then only full of loathing and solitude; to me, that makes sense as to why Reiji says “You deserve to die writhing in pain”. Overall, this inference might be considered a long shot, however, it did pique my interest and I thought I’d share it.

Approaching footsteps can be heard in the distance.

Ayato: ...Aaah!!

Kanato: Trying to kill him in his sleep...What a boring way to murder someone.

Laito: Nfu~ Are we interrupting something, perhaps?

Ayato: Oi!! Don’t try and kill him here, you idiot! Take that kind of stuff outside! You’re in the way!

Reiji: Why are you three here? Did you not say you’d be going to bed and headed to your rooms earlier?

Ayato: Ah, yeah, we did say something like that! But you see, I’m hungry so I just couldn’t fall asleep.

Laito: Nfu~ What were you trying to do while we were asleep, I wonder~?

Kanato: If you want to kill him, it’s the most fun when the other person is wide awake. You wouldn’t want to miss out on their suffering face, would you?

Ayato: Kanato, you really are messed up, huh?

Laito: Eeeh~? But you know, I can understand what Kanato is saying.

Kanato: Fufu...~

Reiji: Haah...

Shuu: (yawns) ...Shut up. Don’t make a fuss right next to the couch.

Laito: Oh dear? Have you awoken?

Shuu: Anyone would wake up if it’s that noisy...Che

Ayato: ...This is the living room, you know!? It doesn’t belong to you, so don’t go clicking your tongue like that! This is my turf!!

Laito: It doesn’t belong to you either, Ayato.

Ayato: Haah!? Every single thing in this house belongs to me!

In this section of the CD, we see Reiji take the passive role when faced with the triplets - which is evidently different from how he is with Yui, or Shuu for that matter - and this could possibly be due to their vast differences. It is to my interpretation that compared to Reiji, Shuu and Subaru, the triplets are rather unhinged and far more bombastic in their whims, desires and means of keeping control - more so Ayato and Kanato moreover Laito since he’s easier to negotiate with -. In addition to this, Reiji’s lack of dialogue in this part could imply back to his passive behaviour compared to the three, as well as present their character differences; and they also tend to listen more to Shuu over Reiji, which would no doubt cause friction, and could potentially link to why Reiji’s presented as passive towards the triplets - there wouldn’t be much point in trying to control their behaviour if they never planned on listening to Reiji in the first place -.

Kanato: Ah...I’m so...terribly hungry...

Ayato: Haah?

Kanato: I...I... *sniff* This whole time...

Ayato: ...Oh fuck.

Reiji: Hm? Kanato, what’s the matter?

Kanato: I’M TELLING YOU I’M HUNGRY, AM I NOT!? I’ve been telling you OVER AND OVER with the look in my eyes! What’s your problem!? Don’t make fun of me!!

Laito: Aha~! He snapped!

Kanato: You see, when I get hungry...I completely lose control...I just get so incredibly angry, I can’t help it!

*THUD*

Shuu: Aah...Noisy...

Ayato: Calm down already! If you throw a tantrum like that, you’ll only get even more hungry!

Kanato: Shut up!!

*THUD*

Kanato: As if you would understand how I feel!?

Ayato: ...!? Fuck, this pisses me off! Oi, Reiji! This is your responsibility!

Reiji: Haah? I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t spout such nonsense. For starters, if you guys had just minded your own business...

I quite like this interaction between Reiji and Ayato here from the declarative “Oi, Reiji! This is your responsibility!“, it not only paints Ayato as a bit of a brat, but it also implements the theme that Reiji is the ‘caretaker’ among the brothers - he cooks, he cleans, he makes sure everyone is okay; more so Kanato, but that’s for an obvious reason. There’s also the implication that the triplets view Reiji as more of a ‘paternal figure’ since their actual father is absent from the majority of their lives, and due to Reiji’s strict and stiff personality, he would naturally be considered as the ‘responsible’ member of the household; hence why Ayato is quick to pass the responsibility of his brother’s hunger onto him - it reminds me of how a child would complain to their parent and then expect them to fix their problem -.

I’d also like to mention the use of aposiopesis, the ellipsis at the end of Reiji’s sentence implying that his dialogue is trailing off or ‘breaking’ and is left unfinished. For instance, it could imply that as he’s talking, he’s had the realisation that the triplets wouldn’t have listened to him anyway, but it could also represent his passiveness in the situation. He was on the verge of ‘killing’ Shuu and now he’s allowing his siblings to run rampant around the living room and declare him to fix Kanato’s problem...that doesn’t seem like the authoritative figure we follow through his route with Yui and I think Reiji’s purposely taking the back seat, and his unfinished sentence could be implied to demonstrate that. From my interpretation, it seems that Reiji’s initial thought process is to simply ‘stick it out’ until the triplets leave, and he can once again attempt to have his moment of relaxation.

Kanato: Uu... *sniff* Anything will do...Anything...Just...FILL MY BELLY!!

*THUD*

Laito: Nfu~

Shuu: Aah...What a pain.

Reiji: ...I understand. I understand so please calm down! I will make you a homemade meal. ESPECIALLY for you guys’ sake, I will do that.

Shuu: It isn’t really special or anything. You’ve always been the one in charge of cooking.

Reiji: Shuu!!

Laito: Nfu~ Either way, we don’t want Kanato to cry and complain any longer, so please get right to cooking~

Reiji: Good grief... (mumbles) Why do I have to do all of this...One day, I’ll kill these guys for sure...

Kanato: Did you say something!?

It’s evident to see that compared to all the brothers, Reiji often goes overlooked or simply does not hold more of a notable presence; and I think scenes like this display that quite well. Phrases such as “I understand. I understand so please calm down! I will make you a homemade meal. ESPECIALLY for you guys’ sake, I will do that” portray Reiji as a character who tries to conform, reason and reassure the situation at hand; the fact that he repeats the verb phrase “I understand” implies that he’s opting to reason with Kanato’s demands and let him know that the problem will be addressed and sorted. By following Reiji’s route, we understand that he’s a character who abhors unnecessary drama and complaints; therefore, he’s attempting to solve the problem quickly and avoid any possible tantrums from Kanato’s end.

*TIMESKIP*

Reiji: Here you go, now there’s nothing to complain about, is there?

He drops the plate on the table.

Laito: Nfu~ So violent! The pudding you took your time making will become a mess!

Reiji: Even if it looks bad, as long as your stomach gets filled, it shouldn’t be a problem, right?

Ayato: ...Are you happy now, Kanato?

Kanato: ...Pudding! Sparkling...Pudding!!

Reiji: I present to you, Sakamaki Reiji’s special iron-packed pudding, topped with raspberry sauce.

Kanato: *munch much* Mm...~

Reiji: Hey! At least give your impressions first! Like ‘it looks good’, or ‘thank you’ to express your gratitude!

Kanato: Haahn...*munch munch*

Reiji: ...The cold shoulder!?

The notion that Reiji drops the plate on the table alongside his remark presents a passive-aggressive tone, which I think is quite fitting since he likes to display a more ‘gentlemanly’ façade - he’s obliged to Kanato’s whims even though he didn’t want to; passive-aggressiveness naturally comes hand-in-hand with that sort of behaviour, that sort of passive behaviour. Additionally, Laito’s remark of “so violent” could imply that he doesn’t take Reiji’s sour mood too seriously and opts to play off of it - it can be further implied that none of the triplets take Reiji’s efforts seriously at all. This inference can be found when Kanato gorges the pudding without uttering a word, which causes Reiji to grow more irritated since he feels like he’s entitled to an utterance of praise to “express your [Kanato’s] gratitude“. It not only displays Reiji’s passiveness to ‘give in’ to Kanato’s anger, but it also displays his incessant need for praise, acknowledgement and attention from others - which we can clearly see throughout his route, as it stemmed from his childhood and CEN -. It also explains why Reiji becomes quite expressive when given “the cold shoulder!?” by Kanato.

Ayato: Haah...Oh well, he calmed down so whatever? By the way, Reiji, isn’t there any for us? Aah!?

Reiji: ...Why would I have to cook for you guys as well?

Shuu: ...I’m hungry.

Ayato: Exactly, hungry!

Laito: Right~? We’re totally starved!

Reiji: I do not care! Why not cook for yourself?

I find it quite humorous that Ayato expects for there to be food for him and the others, it not only shows his entitlement, but also his treatment of Reiji - the caretaker, the figurehead, the paternal figure, the butler -. It’s at this moment that Reiji shows his more authoritative side towards the brothers and attempts to cut their interaction short - evidently it doesn’t work, but it shows how the other brothers are willing to take advantage of Reiji’s efforts in order to sate their own needs. It both displays the brothers’ selfishness, but also Reiji’s lack of presence - which could imply why he’s as brutal and manipulative as he is throughout the entirety of his route -.

Ayato: If we were allowed to, we would...But are you sure? If we were to cook, who knows what will happen to the kitchen...

Laito: Right? Weren’t you the one who lashed out at us for using the kitchen the other day?

Shuu: Ah...That was...Because you guys made the whole thing explode, right?

Ayato: It wasn’t an explosion! We were only cooking!

Reiji: Would the kitchen really explode from just cooking? ...It can’t be helped. I’ll make an exception and make something for you guys as well.

Shuu: Try and make it as quick as possible, okay?

Reiji: ...! For some reason I just don’t feel satisfied... Oh well, I suppose it’s fine. I will make you something.

Kanato: ...I’m looking forward to it.

Reiji: You’re still planning on eating more!?

Here we see both Ayato and Laito display their slyness, a little bit of reverse-psychology in order to get their way - to eat without cooking -. I find it quite fitting that Shuu also plays into this, not only due to his apathy and laziness, but also because he knows that it’ll irritate Reiji; in turn, their ploy works, Reiji questions himself, something that he does internally quite frequently, showing his more doubtful side, and gives in to their demands. Interactions such as this show how the brothers tend to treat Reiji as a servant of sorts - and can explain why Reiji treats Yui as such, he’s treating her how he himself is treated. It’s both sad and ironic. However, Shuu’s quick remark of “Try and make it as quick as possible, okay?” not only shows his gall, but his ungratefulness towards Reiji, and how far he’s willing to go in order to annoy him; and Reiji’s reluctant to that, he yet again gives in and becomes passive, this can be seen through the phrase “it’s fine”. It’s a phrase we all use when we yield or back down from something, even if we’re not fine with it; it presents our own passivity towards something that may cause conflict. I also wanted to bring attention to Kanato’s dialogue here, as it again presents the brothers’ entitlement, and how they each expect Reiji to rally round each and every one of their problems or inconveniences - but also, the exchange is quite funny to me -.

*TIMESKIP*

Reiji: Now you can’t complain.

He drops the plates on the table again.

Laito: Nfu~ What a brute. There’s no reason to slam them down like that.

Ayato: Woah!! Despite everything, in the end Reiji’s a good guy! He made all of our favourite dishes! I’m digging iiin~ *munch munch*

Delicious, this Takoyaki!!

Laito: These macaroons as well...They’re sublime~ Almost as if they’re straight from a famous store in Paris. Nfu~

Shuu: *munch munch* The steak’s good...

Reiji: ...!!! Unconsciously...I ended up...making everyone’s favourite dish...I almost seem like you guys’ mother at this point! Damnit!

He slams his fist against the table.

Reiji: ...I can’t forgive myself.

Again, we see Reiji’s passive-aggressiveness through his mannerisms, for which Laito states “What a brute”. The phrase itself holds no deeper meaning in the context and is mainly used to display Laito’s ‘playful’ personality and mockery towards Reiji. Additionally, the praise that Reiji lacked from Kanato earlier is made up for here by Ayato, Laito and Shuu as they each state that: “The steak’s good”, “They’re [the macaroons] sublime” and “Despite everything, in the end Reiji’s a good guy”. I wanted to bring attention to the third comment - made by Ayato - as I find it quite significant towards Reiji’s character. It can not only be used in the context that he’s gone out of his way to please the others and their ravenous stomachs, but it could also relate to his route in general - throughout Reiji’s route he (at first) treats Yui quite poorly yet, when the time calls for it, he’s also there for her; he’s got Yui’s back when all else fails is what I’m trying to say. That despite everything, Reiji does care for Yui, it’s just in his own messed up way.

Furthermore, I find the notion that Reiji subconsciously cooked their favourite meals to be quite telling - implying that as much as he claims to hate his brothers, he’s still meticulous in their preferences; inadvertently showing that he does, in retrospect, care for them. The added factor that Reiji seems to despise the fact that he’s catered to everyone’s favourite dish, and can’t forgive himself for it could imply that to some degree, Reiji views himself as a ‘bad’ person - or that he likes to think that he’s a bad person in order for him to make sense of his childhood; again bringing us back to his CEN and the belief that a child has to be ‘wrong’ in some way for their parents to not love them, and with that in mind, it therefore makes a little more sense as to why Reiji becomes frustrated with himself after this situation.

Footsteps approach

Subaru: ...Oi!!

*THUD*

Reiji: ...! That startled me! ...Subaru?

Subaru: Che...Makin’ a fuss down here...You’re all far too loud, I can’t sleep!!

Reiji: Aah...My apologies for the inconvenience. However, it should be resolved now. Their bellies have been filled, so they should soon...

Subaru: Oi, make something for me as well.

Reiji: Haah...?

Subaru: ‘Cause of these guys I woke up and when I came downstairs, the air was filled with nothing but delicious smells. Now I’m hungry as well.

Ayato: *munch munch* Aah? If you snack at night, you’ll get fat!

Reiji: Speak for yourself!

Subaru: ...Che! Hurry up! I’m starved!

Reiji: Heh. I refuse. I’ve been cooking non-stop since earlier, and I do not wish to return to the kitchen over and over again.

Subaru: Haaah...!?

Reiji: Seeing you sulk that much makes me uncomfortable too, if you are dissatisfied, why don’t you...

*CRASH SHATTER*

Reiji: ...!?

Laito: Ah-aaah~ Look at that hole in the cupboard. Now we get a nice view of the moon.

The added appearance of Subaru to this scene allows us to view Reiji from different perspectives and scenarios. Subaru also desires food and Reiji puts his foot down and denies - showing assertiveness towards his sibling - and from that, Subaru begins to destroy the house - throwing a makeshift tantrum if you will -. It could infer that if either the triplets or Subaru don’t get their own way, they’ll resort to violence, which would no doubt cause Reiji an unending amount of hassle; it links back to the point I made previously, that Reiji is treated as some form of servant by his brothers, and in order to avoid a large scale conflict, he must oblige and become passive (to a degree, he still remains his usual snarky self). It could be implied that when Subaru creates a hole in the cupboard, it’s as if to say “don’t test me”, and we all know that Reiji is a man who prefers to avoid unnecessary risks, and so, he becomes complaisant. It’s a good tactic on Subaru’s end, yet form Reiji’s perspective, it shows his lack of assertiveness towards his brothers, and how he allows himself to be pushed around by them - which obviously allows all that negativity to bubble and fester for him to later take out on Yui -.

Shuu: Nn...It’s cold...

Subaru: Oi...Shall I do more? Aaah!?

Reiji: Haah...

Subaru: I don’t mind wrecking every single wall in this damn place.

Ayato: Oi, oi, cut us some slack. It’ll become something even worse than a haunted house.

Shuu: Father will go on a rampage so cut it out. This is a pain.

Reiji: ...!! Father will!? That’s...You leave me with no other choice, I understand. I’ll make you something.

Subaru takes a seat.

Subaru: Make it quick, got it?

Reiji: Just sit still there and prepare yourself!

Laito: Nfu~ He may be complaining, but he sure looks after us well.

Reiji: Laito! Did you say something just now?

Laito: Noo~ Nothing at all. Nfu~

Once Reiji realises that their “Father will go on a rampage” if any more damage is done, he’s quick to null Subaru’s behaviour. We know that out of all six brothers, Reiji is the only one to value his father’s opinion and presence - I’ve mentioned why earlier on during the childhood section, but it again links back to his CEN and need for approval. Reiji wants to prove that he’s capable and successful to his father so that he may receive the love he lost out on, he wants to be acknowledged by him and prove he’s worthy enough to be loved.

I also like how not only Ayato calls out Reiji’s ‘soft spot’, but Laito also points it out too, and - in typical Reiji fashion - Reiji’s quick to dismiss the statement by goading Laito to repeat his phrase, which Laito promptly denies. It links back to the point I made of it earlier, that Reiji doesn’t want to think of himself as a ‘good’ person, this could be due to a multitude of things such as his upbringing, race, resentment of Shuu, the fact he had his own mother killed, his treatment of Yui etc. However, in my opinion, it could also be implied that Reiji doesn’t want to believe that he’s a ‘good’ person because that could allow his brothers to take advantage of him further; that his ‘politeness’ could be his downfall and no one would take him seriously or see him as a threat - especially in regards to Yui -.

*TIMESKIP*

Reiji: This is the last dish for the night, got it!?

*THUD*

Subaru: ...Haah!? What’s up with that attitude!? ...By the way, what’s this?

Reiji: Hmph. You’re always saying how you don’t have a favourite meal, so I made this from the leftovers.

Ayato: Aah? What’s this? Pasta?

Laito: It’s Reiji’s favourite Carbonara, right?

Reiji: Heh. Despite complaining about being hungry earlier, in the end, you have a small appetite. Since I assumed you wouldn’t have much, I figured it would be best to make my own favourite meal, so I could eat it afterwards.

Subaru: Che...Fuck. You made me this sloppy, slimy dish...

Reiji: Exactly. That’s why it might be wise for you to pass up o...

Subaru starts wolfing down the pasta.

The more this scene continues, the more apparent Reiji’s passive-aggressiveness shows; the irony of Subaru asking what Reiji’s problem is, is honestly brilliant. It really shows how out of touch each brother is with one another. I also quite like how Reiji just assumes that Subaru won’t eat the meal and it backfires exponentially - it demonstrates that Reiji not only underestimates Yui but also his brothers; yes, it also shows his manipulation since he more or less goads Subaru into not eating the Carbonara since it’s Reiji’s favourite dish, again linking back to Reiji’s reverse-psychology and anti-conformity tactics.

Subaru: *munch munch* Mm...

Reiji: You’re actually eating it!?

Kanato: Smells nice...Let me have a little too.

Subaru: (talking with his mouth full) Just go ‘head and take some...

Kanato: Okay. Thank you very much. Bon appetite.

Reiji: Hold up! My share! Make sure to leave some for me too!

Subaru: Haah? As if I care...

*Sluuuurp*

Reiji: Aaaah! Scarfing it down like that...! I made a larger portion so at least leave some behind!

Kanato: Thank you for the meal~

Ayato: Woah! They ate it all in one go!

Reiji: ...You’ve got to be kidding me!? That amount...By just the two of them, all at once...

By having Subaru eat the dish, and Reiji consequently being surprised by that, it presents the implication that Reiji’s intellect and ego can sometimes precede him and thus demonstrates his overconfidence. He’s overconfident in himself to always be right, but he also underestimates everyone else around him to play into his tactics. I also enjoy how Kanato also digs in too, it not only shows both Subaru and Kanato getting along for once, but I just find it funny how someone as petite as Kanato is eating so much; it’s also amusing how they both disregard the fact that Reiji made the dish for himself and yet by the end of it, he’s the only one who’s not eaten. Reiji’s dialogue of “Hold up! My share! Make sure to leave some for me too!” could be interpreted as a plea, he’s almost begging for his two siblings to leave him some of his own dish; the ellipsis during the statement, “...You’ve got to be kidding me!? That amount...By just the two of them, all at once...” sells his disbelief at the prospect of the situation he’s just caused himself. I like to think that this shows how his usual cocky behaviour can, at times, backfire. It shows that he’s not as perfect as he likes to think he is and that assumptions can do more harm than good.

Subaru: ...Phew~ It didn’t taste bad.

Reiji: Ugh...Why did you not leave my share behind? Today’s carbonara turned out excellent as well!

Subaru: You made it for me, so I get to decide what to do with it. Stop complainin’...!

Reiji clenches his fists.

Bearing that in mind, we again see Reiji become a little more assertive towards his sibling yet he quickly becomes passive once more. We see this through Subaru’s retort, and again shows how Reiji’s usage of words can backfire; therefore, that then gives him no logical argument to present to Subaru, and so, he clenches his fists. Reiji’s body language within this section is telling of both his passiveness and also his anger, it can be implied that clenching your fists is the result of pent up anger and frustration; with that in mind, this can therefore link back to Reiji and his ‘control issues’ - his perfectionism, his narcissism and his need to monopolise everything -. I particularly enjoy how Subaru calls Reiji out on this by telling him to “Stop complainin’...!”. The declarative itself presents Subaru as a reckless character, but as someone who has more presence than Reiji; it also presents the difference between Reiji and Shuu compared to their respective siblings - both Shuu and Reiji are a lot quieter and reserved in their ways, whereas Subaru and the triplets are vocal, disruptive and reckless in their behaviour. However, this section could also imply that Reiji knows when to hold his tongue so that conflict does not break out on his end, it can be implied that he clearly wants to argue back against Subaru due to his clenched fists (showing his irritation) yet, he holds back. He holds back because as we know, Subaru’s temper and sheer strength can often be a loose cannon, and I don’t believe Reiji would challenge that; hence why his fists are clenched - he’s ‘biting his tongue’ so to speak -.

Reiji: Kuh...

Laito: Aah~ My belly’s filled and we get such a nice view of the moon from here.

Ayato: Yeah! I finally feel satisfied!

Shuu: I feel you.

Reiji: Ah...That’s right! All of you were finally able to fill your empty stomachs, weren’t you? All because of me! That being said, hurry up and...

Laito: Nn...

Ayato: I’ve gotten sleepy... *yawns*

Shuu: Zz...

Kanato: Good niiiiight~

Reiji: Hold up! Will you all be sleeping here!? I was just about to pour myself a cup of tea to lift my mood! Return to your rooms at this instant!

Ayato: ...That’s a pain. Who cares if we sleep here?

Reiji’s frustration becomes more and more apparent as the CD continues and this section displays that, especially through his need for recognition, “All because of me!”. This exclamative demonstrates both his aggression and his thirst for acknowledgement - he wants thanks for his aid -. The personal pronoun “me” can be implied to present Reiji’s self-importance, as he’s stating that his siblings’ stomachs would still be in ‘peril’ if he hadn’t been ‘generous’ enough to provide what they wanted; yet again, he and his remarks are completely and utterly ignored, it demonstrates that his brothers don’t take him seriously and that he’s just the ‘parental’ figure, he’s the butler to them. When you see Reiji’s treatment from the other brothers, it becomes easier to understand why he’s the way he is with Yui, especially his need for reassurance and praise.

Reiji’s demands are again ignored; each line he speaks at the end of this section is an exclamative, he’s quite literally shouting at them and he goes disregarded - as the CD continues his mood decreases and decreases until he more or less gives up and gives in to his brothers’ anarchy. I’d like to link this back to Reiji’s relationship to Yui, much like how over time Reiji wears Yui down into becoming more or less subservient to his whims and desires, here we see almost the same thing - their situations parallel each other - as all the brothers exhaust Reiji and wear him down until he inevitable gives them what they want. It all inadvertently links back to Reiji wanting to cause others the same pain and struggles he feels and this circumstance is no difference; if anything, it displays it to a bigger extent.

Laito: *yawn* Napping in the light of the moon...is another one of my ways to have fun. Nn...I’m sleepy...

Reiji: Don’t actually fall asleep!

Kanato: Uu...*sniff* I’m tired but...You’re being noisy...

Reiji: ...! What is you guys’ problem!?

Subaru: My thoughts exactly! Getting sleepy after eating...You’re all Vampires, aren’t ya!? This is the pinnacle of laziness.

Reiji: Exactly...Indulging in human food and then falling right asleep...Heh! This is unbelievable.

Subaru: As a Vampire...It has to be ‘that’, or I just can’t feel satisfied. Isn’t that true?

Reiji: You’re right.

Reiji licks his lips.

Reiji: In the end...Nothing beats drinking the blood from a fair lady’s neck. Otherwise, our hunger and thirst can simply not be quenched.

Subaru: Heh, so simple-minded.

Reiji: What?

Within this section Reiji’s mood changes rather quickly from Subaru’s remark at his brothers’ laziness, and then it reverts back to his usual sour mood. What I wanted to bring attention to here is how Reiji’s mood lifts when someone is in accordance with him, they have either similar or the same views as him; it relates back to Reiji’s need for approval and reassurance, and for a brief moment, Subaru allows him to indulge in that which therefore lifts his mood.

I do find it quite humorous how Subaru calls Reiji of all people “simple-minded”. It could imply back to Reiji’s lack of presence, he doesn’t stick out all that much compared to the others; therefore he could be viewed as bland by both his brothers and us as the audience, so by Reiji declaring that drinking from the neck is best, it wouldn’t stick out all that much - it’s the typical place to bite within most Vampiric fiction -. With this statement from Reiji alongside his more passive presence, “simple” would be the first word to come to mind - if you weren’t aware of the complexities of Reiji’s character, or, from the brothers’ perspective, the inner struggles and complexities of Reiji behind closed doors, it’d be natural to label him as “simple”. With this implication in mind, it could be seen as quite a meta joke from our perspective.

Subaru: Drinking from the neck is too orthodox, it’s boring. Besides, the taste of the blood is too rich, it’s not my cup of tea.

Reiji: ...Is that your way of indirectly ridiculing me?

Subaru: I just meant to say that an old geezer’s tastes are different from mine.

Reiji: O-Old geezer...!? There isn’t that large of an age gap between us!

Subaru: Hah! Then at least your appearance is that of an old geezer! You’re barely any different from our old man. ...When it comes to blood, you see, it’s best when sucked from a woman’s ankle. When you bite her there, you get a perfect view of how she tries to reject you with her entire body.

Shuu: Heh...Hehehe...

Reiji: Shuu! Weren’t you asleep?

Shuu: No, Subaru’s childish lecture on blood-sucking was simply too hilarious...I couldn’t help myself.

Subaru: Haah!? Child, you say!?

Shuu: If you’re going to call Reiji an old man, then so am I, right? In that case, you’re nothing but a brat. A child.

Subaru: ...Ugh.

It can be implied that when Reiji uses the interrogative, “Is that your way of indirectly ridiculing me?“ he’s not just asking if he’s wrong, he’s posing the question “are you mocking me ?”; therefore, ‘ask’ in this context could be implied to mean ‘demand’ instead - it all depends on how you yourself interpret the tone of this dialogue -. However, with Reiji’s character in mind, it could be inferred that he’s almost offended by Subaru’s comment, as if to say “are you saying what I’m doing is wrong ?” and we all know that Reiji loathes being wrong or seen as “simple-minded” as Subaru put it; Reiji’s a character who enjoys using his intelligence to overpower his prey and back them into a corner mentally - therefore, to have that pulled into question would most likely cause some form of offence to Reiji, he’s intelligent and he’s a man of tradition; I doubt he’d enjoy having that mocked. It also links us back to his ‘retraining’ of Yui, throughout Reiji’s route in HDB as Yui barely calls out Reiji’s behaviour and she never mocks him whereas the brothers do; most likely if Yui went against Reiji she’d be punished with something truly abhorrent. However, in other routes (I’ll pick Laito’s HDB route since it’s the closest to Reiji’s in terms of psychological abuse) she ‘bites’ back a lot more - such as when she quite literally bites Laito’s lip when he kisses her against he will...and what does Laito do ? He plays it off and treats Yui like a game - both Laito and Reiji treat Yui as a psychological game, something to crack and break until they’re subservient, in essence, it’s a game of cat and mouse to these two. I wanted to compare this little section because compared to Laito, Reiji wouldn’t stand for Yui fighting back and would most likely view it as ‘bad manners’, later punishing her for it. My point is that Laito’s the type of character who doesn’t let mockery or resistance offend him, or get under his skin, whereas Reiji is, and I think that’s due to the mockery he endures from his brothers - Reiji is quite often the ‘butt of the joke’ whereas Laito is not and treatment like this would undoubtedly effect Reiji’s tolerance towards his siblings as well as Yui’s resistance.

I also like Shuu’s interjection here; how he calls Subaru a child when Reiji is called an “old geezer”. It’s not just Shuu saying that Subaru’s the youngest and he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, it’s also Shuu retaliating since he’s just indirectly been called old, but it’s also Shuu inadvertently defending Reiji. By Shuu naming Subaru a “brat”, he’s unintentionally defending Reiji and fighting his corner even though he’s most likely only trying to save his own feelings since he’s the eldest and he’s basically just been told through Subaru’s remark at Reiji that he also looks like an “old geezer”. Shuu - who we know likes to wind up Reiji - has just haphazardly defended the brother he has so many quarrels with; it’s both unintentionally funny and quite endearing.

Shuu: In that case, I can understand why you would suggest something as childish as drinking from the ankle.

Subaru: Then which place do you prefer!?

Shuu: Me...? I...Let’s see...It has to be the chest, right? Piercing through the veins closest to the heart and sucking her blood suits my tastes best. The blood flowing from those veins is so sweet, it’s almost like syrup, you know?

Subaru: Che...So you are an old geezer after all!

Shuu: At least call it an adult’s acquired taste, youngster.

Reiji: Okay, no fighting! Besides, don’t be engaging in such ridiculous quarrels here, but take them elsewhe...

Laito: ...I can’t help but like drinking from the thighs best, I suppose~ Drinking from a young maiden’s second softest spot makes the blood slightly greasy, it sticks to my throat...Nfu~

Subaru: Che...Laito! You were awake as well?

I’d like to bring attention to the aposiopesis that Reiji uses within his dialogue here. Aposiopesis is the device of suddenly breaking off in speech, which can be found within “elsewhe...”, it shows how Reiji’s speech is trailing off in tone, but if we pair it with the ellipsis at the beginning of Laito’s sentence, it can be interpreted that Reiji is once again being interrupted by his siblings, and with the inclusion of the ellipsis at the end of Reiji’s dialogue, it can be further implied that he knows he’s about to be ‘cut off’; hence why aposiopesis has been included, Reiji trails his sentence off - possibly growing quieter depending on how you interpret ellipsis - because he knows he’s going to be interrupted again. It’s a regular occurrence for Reiji’s character to be cut off by his brothers or just ignored in general. I didn’t want to say too much about this section or derail into a tangent since I’d just be repeating myself but I did want to mention the aposiopesis.

Laito: I was finally thinking of getting some rest, but you guys’ started talking about something interesting so I woke up again.

Reiji: In that case, please use this opportunity to take your leave! All of you have been given your own, proper room after all!

Kanato: Uu... *sniffles* ...Shut up...! I can’t sleep...I CAN’T SLEEP LIKE THIS!! Teddy...My Teddy is saying he can’t sleep either...It upsets him!

Reiji: ...! Don’t suddenly scare me like that!

Kanato: I...Such thing...Whether it’s the neck or the feet, the chest or the thighs...I don’t care about all of that!

*THUD*

Kanato: I...The place I like best...are the fingers. In particular, the little finger - which looks as if you could just bite it off - is my preference.

Subaru: Basically...What you’re trying to say is that, right? You might just accidentally eat the whole pinkie ー That’s what you mean, isn’t it?

Kanato: Fufu...Haha...What happens, happens, but it’d be twice as delicious.

Shuu: Ugh...I’ll pass up on human flesh.

Laito: Likewise. Picking out the bones is a pain after all. If I were to eat it, it would have to be properly seasoned.

Something to note here is Kanato’s outburst, as soon as Reiji proposes that they all retire back to their rooms so that he may indulge in his own privacy Kanato has one of his famous outbursts - which then scares Reiji -. However, once Kanato begins to talk again, he brings the conversation back to blood drinking; the very ‘argument’ that Reiji was trying to dissipate between Shuu, Subaru and Laito. It not only displays that Kanato uses his violent emotions to get his own way (as per usual with him) but that Reiji’s interests and pleas are of no concern to anyone - Kanato has basically just shut Reiji up in order to carry on the conversation at hand between the other siblings; it genuinely shows how dismissive of Reiji all the brothers are.

Reiji: Right, right. Putting this talk about flesh and bones aside, now that you are all awake, hurry up and...

Ayato: ...If you’re gonna suck her, it has to be the nape, right? I don’t like it to be too fatty. Something a little more refreshing is exactly my taste!

Reiji: ...!? Ayato, you too...

Subaru: But that’s lacking, don’t you think? Then it feels like you barely even had any.

Ayato: That’s not true! To make up for it, you just have to drink plenty!

Reiji: Well, Ayato has always been quantity over quality. That being said...

Shuu: Jeez...Both Ayato and you guys don’t know a thing.

Reiji: Shuu...Please don’t stir up this conversation again...

Kanato: ...Saying we don’t know...*sniff* That’s just...Too cruel! Both me and Teddy...*sniffle* did our best to come up with an answer! Yet you completely disregard it like that...

At this point it’s growing quite clear that Reiji’s giving up on the conversation - he has his little quip at Ayato’s expense, but aside from that and the usage of ellipsis and aposiopesis, it can be implied that Reiji’s grown tired of trying to be assertive towards his brothers; opting to replace his strict orders with reluctant pleas - something we tend not to see during his actual route - and it shows the difference between Reiji and his siblings.

Laito: Exactly! Right above the chest is standard just like the neck, isn’t it? Or perhaps the eldest son standing at the head of this long-lasting Sakamaki household has no other choice but to protect such traditions?

Shuu: Are you trying to insult me? A ‘fake’ pervert like yourself probably doesn’t even understand the profound meaning behind standards.

Laito: A fake pervert? ‘Pretending’, you say?

Reiji: Fine, fine! Who cares if it’s just an act? If you were a true pervert at heart, it would be disgusting anyway. So, everyone, pleaseーー

Ayato: This kind of pisses me off...The way you’re looking down on us. I don’t give a damn ‘bout you being the eldest son of not...The greatest person in this household is this Ore-sama over here!

Shuu: Hah. You’re lame.

Ayato: Aah?

Subaru: He really is. Being the ‘greatest’ or the ‘strongest’, bullshit.

Ayato: What did you say? You wanna fight!?

Subaru: Fine by me. ‘Cause I had my fill earlier...

He cracks his knuckles.

Subaru: ...I’m overflowing with energy now. I need a little something to let off some steam.

First and foremost, I wanted to draw attention to Shuu calling out Laito’s façade, I don’t intend to do a deep dive into the subliminal meaning of this interaction since this is a psychoanalysis of Reiiji but I did think that it was quite funny to see Laito become irritated at the fact that Shuu’s basically just called out his entire defence mechanism with little to no effort at all. Secondly, I like how Reiji chooses to ignore this, his irritation has come back, since by almost removing himself from the conversation at hand, he’s allowed Kanato’s outburst to derail the situation further and allowed for Shuu to cause conflict between the brothers. The exclamations are back and his snappy attitude is coming to the forefront; this can be implied through “Who cares....”. It can be implied that Reiji’s becoming aerated once more since he’s once again trying to control the situation - to no avail again -, everything’s getting out of hand and it’s doing so at a quick pace, and Reiji’s attempting to defuse this; it once again demonstrates Reiji’s control issues that we see quite prominently through his route and his treatment towards Yui.

Reiji: Honestly...So hot-headed. Are you listening to what I’m saying? You lot, I would GREATLY appreciate it if you would all take your leave. Right now!

Laito: Nfu~ If you want us to leave, you might have no other choice but to use brute force.

Reiji: Haah...?

Kanato: Horrible...Telling us to leave...Even though we’ve been expressing our will to stay here...Isn’t there a single place for me and Teddy in this whole manor...!?

Reiji: Hold up, I never said that. I’m simply telling you to rest in your own roー

*CRASH*

Reiji: ...!?

Laito: Ah-ahh~ Here we go.

Ayato: Heh...You vandal! Even if you try to scare me off by destroying our surroundings, you won’t get your way!

*CRASH THUD*

Subaru: Heh! Lame! You’re nothing but a fraud! Nobody has ever thought of you as ‘amazing’ or ‘strong’!

Ayato: What did you just say...!?

*CRASH*

*CLATTER*

The situation quickly devolves into madness and as it does, Reiji’s dialogue reflects that, he emphasises his words alongside his exclamations - and what happens ? It devolves even more, Laito takes this opportunity to aggravate Reiji further by taunting him; and Kanato takes this to an extreme, interpreting Reiji’s words to mean that he [Kanato] has no place within their house and that he doesn’t belong there.

Reiji: Waiー! The manor...The manor will fall apart! Shuu! Didn’t you say that father would be enraged!? Please stop them!

Shuu: Ugh...What a hassle.

Reiji: It isn’t ‘a hassle’!

*SHATTER*

Laito: Hm...But stopping those two once they’re like that is rather difficult, don’t you think?

*THUD*

Laito: More importantly...Shuu...Let’s continue our discussion from earlier.

Shuu: Hm? What do you mean?

Laito: That I’m a fake pervert. I’d like you to explain yourself.

Shuu: What? You’re still talking about that? You’re surprisingly one to hold grudges.

Laito: Nfu~ I get told that a looot~ ...Well then, tell me your reasoning. Depending on what you say, even I won’t forgive you.

*CRASH*

I genuinely enjoy how Reiji becomes frantic at the realisation that their father would be “enraged” by their reckless commotion. It not only displays how much Reiji’s values his father’s opinion but it also removes him further from his brothers - the rest of them could care less about what their father thinks or feels, yet Reiji persists, he doesn’t want to displease him because he wants to be acknowledged by him; it all brings us back to his raging CEN, but at this point Reiji’s losing his usual calm composure - his composure drops and his control of the situation decreases. The situation has become out of hand and Reiji’s becoming quite desperate for the commotion to end; I think that’s why he states “It isn’t ‘a hassle’!“, Reiji’s genuinely asking for help in order to rein his brothers in. Additionally, the notion that Reiji uses single quotation marks in regards to Shuu’s statement could imply that Reiji’s showing some form of sass towards the situation, and what happens ? Latio cuts in - meaning Reiji is promptly ignored and avoided - so that his and Shuu’s ‘discussion’ can continue, which then spurs another argument to arise.

Reiji: Ugh...These two are starting an argument as well...Just cut it out already!

Kanato: *sniff sniff* Why is...everyone...so loud!? Shut up! SHUT UP!! I don’t understand!

Reiji: You are plenty noisy yourself!

Kanato: ...! That’s why...That’s why you tried to drive us out earlier, didn’t you?

Reiji: ...! ‘Drive out’, you say? It might have sounded that way but...

Kanato: You’re admitting it, huh? You just admitted it, didn’t you? That you tried to get rid of us!

Reiji: Ah...So what!? I simply wanted to enjoy a cup of tea by myself, that’s all!

Kanato: Shut up!! ...In that case, please brace yourself. Teddy, he is the embodiment of all evil trying to strip us of the place we belong. You don’t have to hold back, okay?

Reiji: Aaah, come on! Why...Why does it always turn out like this!??

Kanato: Teddy...GO!!

*Pow pow pow pow pow*

Reiji: ...Don’t attack me with your stuffed bear! Aah, please!! Just cut me some slack! Whatever happens, don’t come crying to me afterwards...!!

*CRAAAASH*

ーー THE END ーー

Something that I wanted to place emphasis on is the notion that Reiji and Kanato are the only pair left. What I mean by this, is that it’s quite apt for these two to be the only ones left - we know that Reiji is treated as an outcast by his brothers for his dictatorial personality and strict need for rules and control however, Kanato is also viewed as an outcast by his brothers too, most prominently Ayato and Subaru with Ayato calling him a “hysteric” for his unbearable personality and incomprehensible actions. Notice the similarity ? None of the brothers can bear to be around Reiji due to his uptight personality and none of the brothers can stand to be around Kanato due to his mania. The outcasts are grouped together however, it’s also the dynamic of a parental figure and a child being presented too since Reiji tends to look after Kanato - it’s a mature and immature dynamic -.

I also wanted to bring attention to when Kanato exclaims “I don’t understand!”, it’s quite sad from his perspective since it showcases how much of an outcast he is compared to the other brothers, again something we see with Reiji. However, I like how Reiji genuinely shouts back at him with “You are plenty noisy yourself!“, it shows Kanato’s lack of self-awareness and it also displays Reiji’s irritation - he’s lost complete control of the situation and now he’s watching from the side-lines unable to do anything because no one will bother to listen to him. I also wanted to give weight to when Reiji says “It might have sounded that way but...” towards Kanato’s statement as it can be implied that in this moment, Reiji is attempting to show compassion towards Kanato yet he quickly justifies his actions; it presents the implication that Reiji is willing to compromise but he will remain logical towards whatever circumstance is thrown his way - much like how he is with Cordelia within his route -.

Additionally, the image of Reiji being attacked by Teddy is honestly hilarious. But, I wanted to bring attention to Reiji’s last piece of dialogue: “Just cut me some slack! Whatever happens, don’t come crying to me afterwards...!!”. It poses the implication that Reiji is practically pleading with Kanato to leave him be - he’s worn out and frustrated - but it’s the implication that Kanato goes to Reiji when something goes wrong that’s somewhat endearing to me, and it reinforces what I implied earlier, that there’s a parent/child dynamic between the two - one outcast looking out for the other, if you will -. I just think that it’s quite a sweet implication to make between the two given that they are ‘pushed out’ compared to their siblings.

In conclusion, Reiji is mostly dismissed and ignored by his brothers, and can be implied to only be viewed as the butler façade he tends to display; and if you think about it, it’s honestly quite sad, but it gives us the understanding as to why he’s so controlling of Yui and why he craves attention and acknowledgement for his actions. If his brothers are barely willing to appreciate Reiji’s ‘good manners’, then it can be inferred that he’s going to try and find it somewhere else; that being through Yui and her kind nature which Reiji promptly takes advantage of in order to quell his own needs.

#diabolik lovers analysis #dialovers #reiji sakamaki #diabolik lovers drama cd

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familyagrestefanblog · 3 years

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Analysis of the Family Agreste Portrait

Quarantine strikes again and since the Agreste family portrait has fascinated me for a loooong while now I decided to put my thoughts into words and write another essay x3

The amount of informations we get out if it is amazing and its not only highlighting the absolute TRAGEDY it is that this family is about to face such a horrible fall out, it also hints at the former family dynamic before everything went to hell.

So make yourself comfortable and get something to drink, because we will be here for a while.

Here we go: My analysis of this beauty of a fictional portrait

Let's start with the most obvious one: Hawkmoth.

Its commen knowledge by now that the background makes it seem like Hawkmoth is standing behind the Agreste family like a bad omen waiting for fate to take its course and cause their doom. The portrait is brilliantly designed so the illusion is created that Gabriels body (here in a blue suit closer to Hawkmoths normals dark purple one) overlaps with Hawkmoths and a darker line is connecting the two faces as well, which rest on the same height right beside each other. The very same line grows bigger as it goes further behind Emilie - coloring her entire background - showing us that EMILIE is all Gabriel sees when he becomes Hawkmoth. But notice that Adrien on the other hand can hardly be concidered part of Gabriels “sight” at all.

Its forshadowing 101 and damn beautiful if I may say so. But this isnt what I want to focus on in this post.

I want to elaborate on two other key factors that tell us about the former dynamic of the Agrestes instead and what they tell us about the present and future.

The heart:

This is hitting me on another level because look at the heart these three form with Adrien right in the middle! He was so LOVED. This family may have never been anywhere close to ideal but still, there was LOVE and now he's gonna loose it all.

Adrien already lost his mother which led to his father getting even more distant and cold and now his father is becoming increasingly more abusive as he falls deeper and deeper into villainy. Gabriel was never a good father, the show has already made this clear with episodes like "the bubbler", “the collector” or "Gigantitan" for example but gosh there was hope for their little family! The end scene in "Jackady" portrayed it perfectly and I wrote a whole other post just covering the sigificants of Adriens and Gabriels hug in that episode. Check it out here if you want, it goes hand in hand with this one.

Miraculous is all about love and the completely different ways it can affect us, our behavior and actions. Because love isnt just wonderful, pure and empowering, it also can be twisted, destructive and cause the darkst nightmares. And with this family the writers know how to portray the complex love in an abusive houshold thats destined to go up in flames and they also know how to hint at their troubled past with the family portrait.

But this heart visual tells us even more in connection with the positions of their hands. And with these two key factors, lets start with Gabriel:

His hands convey it so strongly. He loves/d Emilie and Adrien so much and no doubt this love for them was certainly the reason why he started his quest as Hawkmoth. But he is now losing himself more and more in the pleasure of his villainy to the point where he forgets why he's doing it in the first place and becomes a complete monster (of a father). But this turn and spiraling into villainy didn't came out of nowhere - this root already had to be in him to grow like that. And this is also something the portrait indeed hints at as well.

Because Gabriel is the only one of the three who:

1. We see so completely open and without hesitation reach out and hold BOTH his family members.

2. Is visually “cut off” from them as well.

But this doesn't mean he was excluded and the only one who truly cared and loved, it just shows that things were more... complicated...as usual.

This is best explained with Adriens hand placements:

One hand is holding his mothers but the other one is visibly not reaching out for his father. But as we all know, that's not because Adrien doesn't love him. In season 1-3 it is made more than clear that Adrien does not hate his father - he loves him alot and tries to be there for him and be patient because he knows that the loss of his mother brought his father terribly down.

Sure, Adrien gets frustrated and angry with him, literally how could he not?? But Adrien tries his best to reach out to Gabriel so they can bond and come out of this tragedy stronger.

But this loving willingness to forgive his father for the chance of growing a father-son bond with him doesn't change the fact that these two didn't had a bond prior to this. And let's be honest here, does anybody actually think this distance between them was caused by Adrien? I don't think so.

So notice how Adriens hand - not reaching out for his fathers - is the only one in the portrait NOT inside or forming the heart.

When the connection of the hands between the family members symbolise their connection to another, then Adrien keeping the hand for his father away from the display of love is VERY telling. It tells us very directly what this distance did to Adriens side of the relationship. Despite Gabriels hand being right there, Adrien does not meet the gesture. And I cannot believe that he did it out of resentment, nothing in the show indicated such strong negative emotions from past Adrien.

It's much more likely that Adrien not reaching for his fathers hand is meant to show us that Adrien felt that he either CAN'T return the gesture because he fears that it'll end in an unpleasant reaction from Gabriel - that it isn't Adriens "place" to reach out to his busy and distant father like that, like it's demanding something - or Adrien simply didn't took Gabriel laying his hand on his shoulder, in the context of posing for a portrait, as a gesture of love and affection.

The way I interpret the portrait is that prior to Emilies dissappearence Adrien did not exactly try to reach out to his father the same way he did from s1-s3, which, I mean, of course wasn't the case. Not only is it NOT the 13 years olds (or younger) job to form an emotional connection to their absent parent - when that’s the PARENTS job - it also wouldn't be necessarily "needed" for Adrien to do so.

Because Emilie at this point was still in the picture so and she was the complete opposite. She was a (or maybe the ONLY) safe, reliable and loving constant of parental attention, affection and care in his life and because of these two HARSH contrasts Adrien learned from very early on to focus mostly completely on her in that regard while kinda blocking his father out.

That most likely wasn't even an active choice whatsoever - Gabriel proofed to be an unreliable resource so Adrien learned to subconciously treat him that way out of self protection. That doesn't mean he had any kind of dislike or malice against his father it just means that he wasn't able or allowed to connect with Gabriel the way he needed. Several episodes show that Gabriel deadass only parented like 15 minutes tops in his life with one of the worst offenders kinda being “Gigantitan” ngl.

So yeah, when I see that the portrait wants to tell me that prior to Emilies loss, Adrien - a 12-13 year old at most - is THIS used to rely solely on the strong bond he has with his mother and not even really reaching out for his fathers love, then I can't help but interpret it in the way that... Well... Gabriel was so distant and emotionally unreliable to Adrien for all his life, that Gabriel simply... wasn't needed by his son. Not at that point of time at least.

And while this may seem weird, because obviously Adrien only now starts to stop craving for his fathers affection and approval (which is btw a horrible, HORRIBLE thing and not something good. A half orphan losing the last remaining hope he had left of having the chance to finally get to form a bond with the only other parent he has left, just to be crushed by disappointment and abandonment all over again until he let's go, is REALLY NOT as much of a good thing people will make it out to be. This is... plain awful) it's actually quite logical.

Adriens hand outside the heart doesn't mean that his father meant nothing to him and therefore refuses to meet and accept his affection (that's literally the complete opposite of what the show shows us), it means that Adriens and Gabriels father-son relationship suffers from a fatal emotional disconnection caused by miscommunication/ a lack of communication.

And this was caused by Gabriel. How? Let me elaborate on that by going a bit far afield (cuz lbh we all have time for this. I’m writing this in quarantine and youre reading this is quarantine, so lets gooooooooooooo).

In "The bubbler" Adrien says that his father "always forgot his birthday", but I cannot agree with this in true honesty. Gabriel is controlling his sons entire life, calls him "the epitome of perfection" and temporarily truly gave up being Hawkmoth for him, he definitely never forgot Adriens birthday.

"The bubbler" even SHOWS us that Adriens perspective of the situation is actually not the truth:

This is Adriens first birthday after Emilies dissappearence and it's incredibly telling how Gabriel handles the planning.

What this entire little sequence tells me is that Gabriel is completely and UTTERLY used to NOT be the one to take care of anything related to Adriens birthday. So Emilie was always the one who did it but somehow - now without her - Gabriel apparently still hasn't even considered changing anything about that nasty non-involvement and just expected Natalie to pick everything up where Emilie left it.

Because let's be real here, knowing Natalie she would NOT have forgotten to get a present if Gabriel truly had told her to. Natalie is never presented to do mistakes like that but Gabriel on the other hand IS definitely presented to us claiming things about himself as ultimate, blameless and true when they simply do not reflect reality. A great example: Gorizilla

You didn’t even speared a minutes of your time for Adrien and he DID try to! Asshat… It's a problem guys. The lack of self awareness Gabriel displays in moments like this is legitimately concerning when you think about how deeply this man is falling right now.

But back to the topic:

Because even if Gabriel didn't even consider doing anything himself for Adriens birthday - not even taking the time to SEE his son (who just recently lost his mother, come on Gabe, really?) - one thing one cannot hold against him: he sure as hell remembered Adriens birthday like any decent parent would and it wasnt portrayed as a this-year-for-the-first-time thing.

And yet Adriens statement still makes complete sense. Because a big, BIG problem with Gabriel is just how much he takes things for granted. He EXPECTS things to be universally known and to never be doubted, just because that's how HE sees them. I will write 10 essays if it's needed to make people understand that Gabriel DOES truly love Adrien, it's just that Gabriel HIMSELF is such a rotten, twisted and toxic person that he cannot see how much his (oppressing) behavior and the way he (doesn't) express his love hurts Adrien and that HE is the one at fault. (for more, once again, read this)

Gabriel LOVES Adrien but he takes the love he feels as such a matter-of-fact that he just completely... forgets to show it.

And when we take Adriens words and look at the Family portrait it unfortunately seems that...

…. Gabriel ALWAYS forgot to show it.

Adriens hand - that should at least be reaching out to his father - is outside of the heart in accepting certainty. Because that's what Gabriels non-presence was for Adrien while growing up: an unreliable and unreachable certainty he had to accept early on as safer to not try to emotionally depend on too much or else he will get hurt.

So yeah, Adrien is the one in the portrait who is very openly not reaching out but only because Gabriel never gave him the needed affection and stability to be able to create that bond.

But let me correct what I said a little earlier: Adrien ALWAYS needed his father. Every kid, especially one in a bad situation like Adrien, does need their parents/friends etc as support system to become independent and confident in a healthy way. And if they don’t have that they WILL crave and look for it!

What Adrien has been doing up to now IS normal for a teenager - humans NEED affection, belonging and safety. What ISNT/SHOULDN’T be normal is Adriens disconnection towards his father in the portrait and just how much Gabriel fails to take care and BE THERE for his son in BOTH TIMES!

Collector:

Bother Christmas:

One thing I like about the show is that it portrays their young main cast with one very important truth: The psyche of a child/teenager of their age will react and adapt so it SURVIVES, even if it results in unfortunate consequences in other relationships and places. Thats the psyches main concern and it'll try to cope with the limited experience and development it has in whatever way necessary to get itself to the next day. A coping mechanism is not there to make you a better person, it ensures your SURVIVAL, everything else is a secondary concern.

So seeing pre-show Adrien not react to Gabriels touch and even feel completely unloved and disconnected from him is no surprise to me. Kids are incredibly observant. They may lack the needed experience and knowledge to truly understand that they deserve better and to stand up for themselves but they are masters in picking up red flags in people and can put this danger into perspective while comparing the different danger levels of their options of people and places to adjust their behavior.

Feast:

Stormy Weather 2:

So the broken connection between father and son we see in the portrait (that Gabriel doesn't even notice but Adrien fully internalized) isn’t there because Adrien “didnt needed” or wanted his father, its because Adrien NEEDED Gabriel so much in his isolated upbringing but Gabriel didn’t LET him need him - so Adrien had to adjust to that accordingly. Big, huge, ENORMOUS difference.

Honestly the most miraculous thing about Miraculous is that Adrien was able to bring up the strength to stay positive and friendly and to forgive Gabriel in hope for a better future. That boys situation is 7 kinds of depressing and traumatizing...

It's just flabbergasting to me how well this portrait shows how basically non-existent their relationship was at that point. And it's horrible to know that this estranged and unformed bond is all Adrien had left after Emilie dissappeared, just alot worse because after Emilie incident Adrien states that his father changed alot for the worse as well.

So to think that all Adrien had left wasn't even this former basically non-existent relationship with his aloof father - who would only barely show his true affection for his son because he's either not around enough to do so or he thinks it "unnecessary to proof his affection" for/to Adrien because he already thinks it so obvious and undoubtable.

Well he thought wrong. And GOSH, it breaks my heart!

So now comparing the "Gabriel" hand from Adrien with the one representing his connections with his mother conveys a pretty harsh contrast.

Because last but not least, let's take a look at Emilies hand placements:

But here is now an interesting difference to Adrien. Whereas we openly see that Adriens side of the Adrien-Gabriel relationship is completely disconnected from the heart/love - showcasing just how badly Adrien has always been neglected by his father - we don't see Emilies hand in her Emilie-Gabriel relationship AT ALL.

Once again just like with Adrien, this doesn't mean she didn't love her husband and that Gabriel was used and fooled by the woman he so utterly adored. It just means that from Emilies point of view things were a bit more complicated. What exactly this is, the portrait is keeping secret from us. We have no way of knowing if and how Emilie is returning her husbands gesture. All we can say is that if she does she is definitely not doing it in such an open and unconflicted way as she does with Adrien.

But since when has anything with this family been this easy?

One thing the portrait makes very clear, Adrien and Emilie had a strong and good bond. Definitely the healthiest because the Adrien-Emilie connection is the only one depicted without any kind of disruption from both sides. Both mother and son are reaching out for the other ones hand creating a whole half of the heart, showcasing their affection for another openly and without any of the implied doubts the other connections display. And honestly? Comparing all the hand placements, the one connecting Adrien and Emilie just comes across as strikingly pure and true (which makes it even worse that it was HER Adrien lost…)

As I said it's a HARSH contrast to the one Adrien shears with Gabriel. This contrast is highlighted even further by the way these three face on another.

Emilie and Adrien are positioned facing another and so are Emilie and Gabriel. Telling us that Emilie was "face-to-face" aka involved with both her husband and son. It is Adrien and Gabriel were this looks wildly different. These two have no way of seeing each other in the eyes the way they stand now/then, further displaying their deeply rooted disconnection. It's portrays perfectly how important Emilie was in this family dynamic, because even though Adrien and Gabriel bearly had a connection at all they at least had Emilie as a link between them, keeping the family together. But then they lost her and where this left both father and son off we know oh too well...

So to collect all the informations we get out if this portrait:

-Adriens and Emilies relationship was the strongest and purest. Both of their hands connect and reach out for another in the heart, showcasing that they had a loving and positive bond.

-Adriens and Gabriels relationship is heavily scarred by a deeply rooted disconnection leaving Adrien feeling unloved and unwanted by his father to the point where Adriens side of their dynamic is outside the heart altogether. Gabriel may love and adore his son just like he loves his wife and never thought he displayed his love for him in a lacking way, but fact is: this love never reached Adrien the way it should have and Adrien is the one in their dynamic who got severely hurt and damaged by it.

-Gabriel was the only one completely unconflicted and happily at peace with the former Family situation. He's reaching out to both his family members with open love and affection in blissful oblivion that neither his wife nor son could return them the same way (to different degrees for different reasons). Gabriel was the ONLY ONE in the Agreste family who didn't saw problems in their lives and thought them all happy, hence why he's so obsessed with changing the past and bringing THIS state of their family back. He was happy and he had everything he needed and loved right with him, of course he wants THIS back. He's not aware that Emilie and ESPECIALLY Adrien did not feel the same about their former situation and that bringing all of them back to this is not the perfect happy ending for their entire family as he thinks.

-Emilie may not have been as unconflicted with Gabriel as he was with her but she is NOT feeling the same disconnection her son feels and isn't depicted with negative feelings towards Gabriel. Her side in the Emilie-Gabriel relationship is neither shown outright positive as with her son or outright bad as Adrien with Gabriel. Her side of their bond is depicted through her unseen hand placement in the unknown area in between.

-Despite their not so unconflicted feelings towards Gabriel - and Gabriel himself being aloof - neither Emilie nor Adrien are actively trying to cut Gabriel out. They aren't flinching away from his touch or exclude him from the heart whatsoever. He's happily included, obviously feeling loved. They may not be 100% happy and Gabriel doesn't notice it, but they aren't denying him his happiness and make him unhappy. Again, he's the only one truly happy here. Something neither Emilie nor Adrien tried to take away from him.

-Emilie and Adrien are facing each other as do Emilie and Gabriel, implying the presence of communication and a bond. Adrien and Gabriel do not face each other, showing their disconnected bond. If they could see each others face Adrien would have been able to see that Gabriels hand is a gesture of genuine affection and Gabriel could see that Adriens expression does not exactly display pure happiness the way he thinks. This also goes for Emilie. Emilie just like her husband is placed BEHIND her son, so even if she is facing him she would not be able to really see just how much Adrien is not satisfied and truly happy with his life at that point (meaning how unhappy being looked up, friendless and at distance with his father actually makes him).

- This fascinating family makes me sad and I like it lol

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astermacguffin · 3 years

Text

The semantic logic of AMVs

I finally finished the post I promised to @katebushstandean , so here's my contribution to the blossoming field of spn amv studies.

In this post I made about fanworks and intertextuality, I argued that AMVs can be referred to as a "discourse between discourses." What I meant by that (and I elaborated on this in the post) can be summarized in this argument structure:

(1) AMVs are typically a dialogue/discourse between a song and a show/film.

(2) A song is already a discourse of its own (i.e. it's the dialogue between music and lyrics).

(2) A show/film is already a discourse of its own (i.e. it's the dialogue between the visual and auditory elements of the show/film).

I want to push this argument even further and argue for a more generalized theory of meaning that should (ideally) be applicable to any piece of media.

LAYING THE FOUNDATION

Let's start by analyzing at least just one medium at a time. Take music, for example. Without lyrics, how does music convey meaning at all? Now, I won't go too much into either music theory or the psychology/sociology of music (since I don't think I'll be able to give these subjects any justice anyway), but I want us to look at music more structurally/linguistically. (I am certainly not a linguist, but I am a training logician and I think it would be interesting to extract the logical/semantic relations that occur in music if we treat it as a "text".)

If we want to break down music into its smallest possible units of meaning (the same way we break down language into morphemes in morphology), then we would probably end up with notes, beats, and chords as our basic units (among other stuff, like timbre). Obviously, we cannot subject music to the same reductionist approach we do with either natural or formal languages (e.g. breaking down language into morphemes/propositions/subject-predicate relations/functions).

This is due to the fact that music doesn't really agree that much with the principle of compositionality—that "the meaning of the whole is a function of the meanings of its parts and their mode of syntactic combination." (If you disagree with Montague semantics, you might even argue that the same is true for natural languages and that only formal languages are truly compositional, but I digress). Generally, there is "more than the sum of its parts" when it comes to music; the meanings of a chord don't solely depend on the meanings of the individual notes that make up the chord.

Anyway, back to music and meaning-making.

Yip Harburg has this interesting quote on songwriting, which Adam Neely references here at this mark (15:29–16:10), a quote he originally got from Ben Levin. The quote says: "Music makes you feel feelings, lyrics make you think thoughts, songs make you feel thoughts." I think this quote best encompasses what I mean when I argue that songs are "discourses" of their own.

But even without the lyrics, music on its own is already "discursive." A single note played once doesn't really "mean" much, in the sense that we can't really gather as much meaning out of it alone. The note's relationships with other musical elements is what opens up the realms of meanings that we can attribute to it. (This concept is explored much better in here.)

The same thing is true with natural languages. Morphemes and words have meanings on their own, sure, but they don't really say that much on their own until you place them in a specific order with other morphemes/words. A single sentence is already a discourse between the units of meaning that compose the sentence.

I have been using the term "discourse" a lot, but what do I mean when I use the term? Without spending too much time explaining my own theory of discourse, let's define a discourse as a "series of discursive units." A discursive unit consists of two parts: a prompt and a response. What's important to know about responses in a discourse is that you won't really be able to fully grasp what they mean without knowing what the prompts are (i.e. what they are responding to).

When I describe song and lyrics as "discourses", what I think I really mean is that they are "discourse-like" (hence the description, "discursive"). The words of a sentence treat each other as their own prompts/responses; they're not as meaningful alone, but when taken together, meaning emerges. The same goes with music.

Taking this to a more macro scale, we can treat each episode of a show as their own discourses, and each episode "responds" to the others in some way. The harmonies, tensions, and contradictions that emerge from the "conversations" between these episodes are what we often respond to when we make fanworks (fanart, fanfics, meta, and the likes).

Generally, there are two kinds of "conversations" that happens within and among pieces of media:

The intra-discursive (the conversations that happen within a single text, like how a show's episodes converse with each other), and;

The inter-discursive (also called the intertextual, or the conversations that happen between different texts).

Now that we have established these terms and concepts, we're FINALLY talking about AMVs.

THE DEAL WITH AMVS

I've already touched upon this in my intertextuality post, but it's worth repeating. What I believe AMVs do is reveal the intra-discursive using the inter-discursive. What this means is that by making the subject text converse with other texts (e.g. by making clips from Supernatural "dialogue" with a song of your choice), you are somehow extracting the implicit discourses present in the original text.

When we talk about fanworks (and transformative works in general), we often talk about it in terms of recontextualization, as well as adding something new that wasn't there in the original text (e.g. fix-its). But a neglected aspect of fanworks that I believe AMVs bring to light is the revelatory power of fanworks, like the way it makes the people (may it be the audience or the original creators) confront the implications and implicit meanings already present in the text.

(Learn more about the semantic logic of AMVs below the cut)

Another interesting thing that AMVs do is that it often makes the subject text subservient to the song. More often than not, it's the show that has to adjust to the song; it's the show that has to be sliced and diced in order to fit the song. This is simultaneously a form of violence and a form of liberation—violent in the sense that goes against authorial intent (with "author" here used loosely to refer to the forces that brought the piece to life, may it be a single person or an entire production team) and liberating in the sense that the latent or supressed narratives are brought to light.

Even before the AMV is done, this discursive process is already made explicit by the act of editing. In most editing softwares, you get to see the timeline of your material and an explicit divide between the audio and the visual elements. The audio stream is already a discourse of its own, and the same goes with the video stream.

When you vertically slice these juxtaposed streams and cut out a portion of it, you now have what I call a "semantic moment" locked in time. We can imagine the audio being divided into these little semantic moments (e.g. the chords, a key change, a shift in dynamics or tempo, etc.) and something similar can be said with the video (e.g. vital scenes in the show). Now, a semantic moment doesn't have to be special or eventful; in fact, most of them aren't. In fact, all of experience is nothing but a series of semantic moments (i.e. moments of extractable meaning).

Now, imagine an AMV playing in front of you right now. Let's represent the audio as a series of semantic moments from A1 to An and do something similar to the video, from V1 to Vn. If we represent the flow of time from left to right, then we can talk abstractly about experiencing an AMV like this:

A1-A2-A3-A4-A5...-An

V1-V2-V3-V4-V5...-An

Every moment of our experience of the AMV can be divided into a series like this. AMVs are art objects that unfold over time: they are temporal, and therefore we cannot immediately access all parts of the semantic "discourse" of the text all at once—we have to wait for them to happen.

Let's say I want to analyze Semantic Moment number 6 because something interesting happens there: the chord suddenly shifts into a minor key while at the same time, the video shows a character turning their back to the camera. Now, there are three possible ways to handle this (none of which are mutually exclusive; we usually perform these modes of analysis simultaneously):

Vertical analysis - analyzing the discourse between A6 and V6. What meanings are brought up when we take these two elements in conjunction? What associations do we have with minor keys, with people turning around, and how these associations influence the other?

Horizontal analysis - analyzing the discourse between A6 and its earlier counterparts, A1-A5, or between V6 and V1-V5. Earlier, we have discussed that a single chord or a single word on its own doesn't mean that much; it's their relationships with other elements that bring out their "meaning space." What "narratives" or "metaphorical gestures" are brought upon when you consider these semantic moments as discourses/texts as a whole?

Diagonal analysis - analyzing the discourse between A6 and V1-V5, or between V6 and A1-A5. Here, you make the semantic moment converse with the "history" of its counterpart. What are the events that happened in the earlier parts? For example, knowing that the earlier parts of the song were in major key before the turn-around scene might influence our reading of it. Similarly, knowing that the earlier scenes depict a happy relationship might influence how we read the minor shift.

Again, we often do these analytic slices as quick as possible (and often simultaneously); it's not something that we often do consciously (unless the subject text is actually that dense and difficult). It's instinctual to us to bring up these comparisons and engage with the explicit and implicit discourses of meaning happening with any kind of text we interact with.

Now, here's where it gets more complicated. Unless the AMV in question is just a scene lifted from the show and overlaid with a song, it would usually involve a bunch of cutting and joining between different scenes/episodes. What this means is that you're taking an already temporal object and reassembling it into a new order in time. This means that we might've initially thought of as V1-V2-V3-V4-V5...Vn might actually be V3-V1-V6-V19-V8...Vn or some other permutation.

Again, this process is simultaneously violent and liberating—violent because you are destroying its intended order, and liberating because you are negating the tyranny of linearity and contiguity. What I mean by this is that people tend to focus on the discourse of the semantic moments depending on how close they are in space and time. For example, we might focus on how V1 is in dialogue with V2 and how V2 is in dialogue with V3, but the farther the semantic moments are, the less likely we are to notice their discourse.

What AMV editors do is rebel against the tyranny of this habit and bring into light the connections that might have gone unnoticed without the intervention. We often talk about how certain fanworks are more analytical than transformative (e.g. fanfics that function more as character studies and meta analyses of the source text), and there certainly is a spectrum of this among different genres of fanworks. I believe that AMVs, no matter how transformative they are, cannot help but invoke a certain analyticity in their production and reception.

And that concludes my AMV essay. I'll probably add more to this when I gather more thoughts (like how these three posts are related in some way).

Lemme know if y'all wanna hear more about my theory of discourse or something else related. Support your content creators and reblog!

#spn #spn amv studies #long post #aster writes

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catboyyukineapologist · 3 years

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Noragami 96/96-2 chapter thoughts

hey guys! I’m back from my month long break how’s everyone doing what’s been ha-

OH MY FUCKING GOD. OH MY GOD. HOLY SHIT. HOLY FUCK. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

two chapter double whammy under the cut because BOY do I got THOUGHTS and FEELINGS for y’all today

---

FIRST I GOTTA FREAK OUT ABOUT BOTH COLOR PAGES EXCUSE ME????? E X C U S E M E ????????? M A ‘ A M?????????

Alright okay alright. okay. We’re doing this chronologically because i cannot DEAL RIGHT NOW

- 96 -

HIYORI OH MY OHHHHHHH MY GOD

MY GIRL IS BACK

She looks so tiny and I am 100% sure that is on purpose

yeah hiyori your parents must be worried sick about you, huh

“And that right now, Haru was...” I mean she’s not WRONG

I am in SHAMBLES. I am NOT OKAY. I KNEW this was coming I KNEW HIS DAD WAS KEEPING THE LETTERS AND IT STILL HIT ME LIKE A BRICK TO THE FUCKING THROAT

See this is what I mean when I say I keep looking at Noragami like a western tragedy: That sense of knowing for certain the Bad Thing is going to happen: You know it is, you’ve seen it, the entire story revolves around it happening, yet you still feel for the characters and empathize and it still hurts when all the awful things inevitably come crashing down and why didn’t you see this coming? It’s literally right there in the cover.

Yes I’m in pain how could you tell :)

these character interactions are forcing my hand further into hurt/comfort fic territory every single month

Once again I am legally obligated to tell Kazuma to shut the fuck up

Not everyone has a weird codependent one-sided romance with their god bitch don’t go talking like you’re the paragon of god-shinki relationships<3

Again I love Kazuma but he’s uhhh Been A Bitch the last five chapters or so.

YUKI’S FACE PLEASE SOMEONE ACTUALLY HELP HIM FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HIS EXISTENCE

So basically that entire fight between Yato and Father was functionally pointless. cool. good. alright. thanks.

excEPT IT WASN’T bc bOY OH MAN did everyone involved get nicely placed on the board like little chess pieces with a side of good good character development and PAIN

no i will not elaborate (coherent analysis? in my nonsensical ramblings? never)

- 96-2 -

Kagutsuchi thirsters where you at (it’s me I’m Kagutsuchi thirsters)

“The sorcerer’s true form”... lol

Well, heaven guy uttered Three (3) sentences and I’m already annoyed and terrified

“I have to keep damage to a minimum” *immediately turns into a giant fuck you spider*

NORA MY BELOVED I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER SHE DESERVES EVERYTHING I LOVE HER

zuko who? redemption arc of the century

Hiyori being an impeccable audience surrogate as always in this trying time

I like that this is the Sorcerer Task Force’s idea of “minimum damage”

it’s been a hot minute since we saw Kagutsuchi’s face!! heyy👁️

“BUT”???????👁️👄👁️

SEE THIS IS EXACTLY WHY THEY WANT TO FUCK Y’ALL UP THIS IS EXACTLY IT THERE IS NO INTERNAL COHERENCE AND YOU’RE GONNA GET ALL YOUR SHINKI FUCKING DECIMATED AND GIVE ZERO SHITS

Finally my fave gets some angst (my fave being Ookuninushi for no particular reason other than Chill Uncle Vibes)

I might be joining the heaven bad bandwagon after this-

NO GOD FUCK NO NORA WAIT- NOT- THEY JUST- THE SHINKI- NO

THEY JUST DISH OUT HIS FACE LIKE THAT HOW DARE HOW DARE HOW D A R E

I hate it here I hate it here I hate it here I hate it here I hate it here I ha

GIRL HELP MY FAVE JUST GOT FUCKING MURDERED

...Yeah so this is your monthly reminder that if you see this man it is fully legal and encouraged to commit manslaughter On Sight.

#noragami #noragami 96-2 #yato #fujisaki kouto #nora #I'M CRYING PLEASE #I hate this man i hate him so much #I have no further comment #i just #yeah.#i'm in pain.#sorry if this makes No Sense it poured out of my system in a fugue state #sorry again for dropping off the face of the earth #school and mental health have been A Lot #but needing to yell about The Pain Manga is a constant in life<3 #chapter reaction #chapter thoughts #lextpost #noragami spoilers

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luci-cunt · 3 years

Text

Hannigram??? Works???

aka: Hannibal and Will’s relationship isn’t healthy but at the end of the series its sort of has the potential to be? Or: a very long and rambly analysis of idiot gay cannibals and the power of equal standing in relationships

(1.5k words because I murder brevity with my teeth)

Trigger/ Spoiler warning for: Hannibal

-------------------

Ok I said they have the potential to be healthy and not that they are healthy because--lol, they’re not.

In the first season they’re “friends” but Hannibal’s also gaslighting the hell out of Will/ keeping a life threatening disease diagnosis from him/ framing him for murder/ shoving their daughters ear down his throat.

In the second season they’re almost enemies? but not really? Because Will is just as fucked up as Hannibal is so he doesn’t actually consider Hannibal to be his enemy, he just realizes he has Hannibal twisted around his finger and starts jerking the fucker around and it takes Hannibal all the way up to the finale to realize he’s not the one in control anymore.

In the third season they’re struggling because they don’t know how to be equals, they’re both fucked up and don’t know how to have normal, stable relationships so they’re jsut kind of feeling in the dark, falling back on old habits (eating your problems, murdering your problems, running away from your problems, etc) when things get uncomfortable. It’s--again--not until the season finale that they both realize that’s what they’re BOTH doing and find a comfort in realizing they’re both trying, but not succeeding.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Hannibal finds people interesting he “fosters codependency” so they cannot leave him (Abigail with the Boyle murder cover-up, Bedelia with getting eaten, Will with literally all the first season). Meanwhile Will just doesn’t do close relationships. Alana is the only person he considers to be his friend but she’s constantly fighting to keep that title, same with Beverly actually. Will himself doesn’t put any effort into keeping those friendships, he leaves it entirely up to them.

But Hannibal and Will’s bond forms so easily that it surprises both of them--and then when Hannibal defaults to his need to make Will dependent on him so he can’t leave, Will defaults to his rejection of dependency and points out that’s what Hannibal’s doing but also goes along with it because he finds himself almost wanting to be closer to the man.

This--the fact that Hannibal’s attempt at closeness is recognized and accepted, and that Will is allowing himself to be open with someone--is new to both of them. Equally.

(By the way this is in the form of Abigail, Hannibal fosters codependency by putting the responsibility of Abigail on both his and Will’s shoulders and Will allows this by recognizing it, pointing it out [”You’re fostering codependency doctor.”], and then still allowing it [going along with the Boyle cover up].)

Just--ok think about Dolce. (The ep where they reunite in the third season and Will tries to kill Hannibal only to get shot by Chiyoh and then for Hannibal to decide he’s going to eat Will’s brain before the Italian’s show up and kidnap them both.)

Will finding Hannibal is big for both of them: because it means that Will looked for Hannibal--actively sought him out by reflecting on past conversations they’ve had--and it also means that Hannibal was where Will could find him. It’s a shaky apology on both sides because they aren’t willing to actually apologize for any of their actions but they recognize the pain they’ve caused on another.

However, Will tries to murder Hannibal because he doesn’t know what he’s doing. I mean--he does--what I mean is that this relationship is such unexplored territory for both of them that it’s uncomfortable at first, and Will doesn’t trust Hannibal to be waiting on the other side while he stumbles thru the dark rn, so he falls back on old habits and tries murdering the problem.

Hannibal tries to eat Will’s brain because he’s also falling back on old habits (eating his problems) because he’s also uncomfortable with the new territory. He’s just more open to fumbling, but he’s hypersensitive to rejection (Mizumono, Dolce, getting himself arrested when Will tells him to get gone, that “Was it good to see me Will?” scene, etc.), and he takes Will’s stabbing attempt as rejection. At least until he drags him away and they have their “you forgive like god does Will--would you have made it quick? Or would you have stopped to gloat?” “Does god gloat?” “Often.” Conversation, and he realizes he’s not being rejected BUT he reminded that he’s still terrified OF the rejection so--boop eat the man.

(Oh also Will running away from the problem by letting Hannibal kill him--which, yes, is what was happening. He could have warned Jack that Hannibal was under the table as SOON as Jack came in the door but instead he waits until the last possible second. Also you can’t blame it on the drugs either if he can complain about Hannibal’s soup and keep up with this idiots waxing poetic ramblings he can tell that Jack came in. Also also also: Hannibal told him Jack was coming and also got under the table literally there was no reason for Will to NOT call out to Jack when he came in except that he didn’t want Jack to stop Hannibal.)

I guess what I’m trying to say is that in season one the power balance is in Hannibal’s court--and season two it’s in Will’s--and then in season three it’s wildly rocking back and forth between both of them before someone hits a metaphorical pause button--aka the “this is all I’ve ever wanted for you--for us.” “It’s beautiful.” scene.

Fundamentally I think this show is about Hannibal and Will’s relationship. The cliff scene is as much an ending as it is a beginning. That “it’s beautiful” exchange is both of them realizing they’re EQUALLY having trouble finding footing in their relationship, they’re realizing they’re BOTH uncomfortable to a certain degree with the new territory and that it’s just that for both of them--new territory.

Idk, you know when you’re taking a test and you have no idea what the answer to some question is so you’re slyly trying to look around to figure out if you’re the only one being stupid or if it’s just a hard test? And you don’t see anyone else looking around so you just miserably try your best but it’s not your best becasue you’re already in the mindset that you’re an idiot? And it’s not until after the test at lunch when you hear everyone else talking about how difficult it was that you realize you weren’t the only one struggling?

THATS this.

Hannibal and Will are both extremely lonely people becasue they’re fucked up. No one can know Hannibal entirely because he’s a serial cannibal, and no one can know Will entirely because his boredom with other peoples mortality scares them. Neither of them have been seen entirely until the other came into their lives, but they’re not used to being seen so it’s scary.

Both of them react to one another hostilely first--Will blatantly being an asshole at the prospect of Hannibal psychoanalyzing him and then Hannibal putting on this guise of “I’m completely removed from the situation and just curious to wind this man up and watch him go” but he’s not removed.

Honestly to me it feels like it was originally Hannibal’s plan to just leave Will in jail taking the blame for his murders, but actually misses Will, because being seen was scary but the other option is so lonely.

Will’s going through something similar, but he’s less inflammatory. Hannibal is all action, present--Will is getting too close? Get rid of him. He starts missing Will? Get him back. He has a problem and he acts on it immediately.

Will is patient and willing to wait and watch--Hannibal frames him for murder? Set up an elaborate series of events that will end in Hannibal losing something he holds more dear than his own life--his freedom. Mason kills his unborn child? Convince Mason to kill Hannibal so that Hannibal will torture Mason for Will.

Hannibal is dramatic and Will is apathetic, they’re both danger but different brands.

If the first two seasons are them trading power, then the third is them wildly grabbing for it despite the fact that they don’t want power over one another, and that final episode--that final scene--is them realizing this.

I said it was a beginning as much as an ending because it’s now that their relationship can finally actually advance, but it’s also the conclusion of them working separately, and instead embracing the idea of fumbling together.

I honestly don’t know where people get the idea that the show is about Hannibal “corrupting” Will. If that’s the case then this final episode makes this show a tragedy. Good succumbing to evil.

But--motherfuckers its not!!!

Will isn’t good, he tells us from the first episode he enjoyed killing Hobbes, that the reason he stopped being a cop was because he knew once he started killing he wouldn’t be able to stop. He manipulates people constantly, he got Abel killed, tried to get Chilton murdered, and then a season later he gets Chilton burned alive. He’s not good, he’s fucked up!!!

This show isn’t about corruption--it’s about realization!!!

Idk I love them, I hate them, and I love them.

#hannibal #nbc hannibal #will graham #hannigram #luci doesn't shut up #akjs;dlfjasdklfj #lol when am I going to stop talking about hannibal?#never #akjsd;f;lajksdf;lkja #they're just--FUCKKKKK so interestiiiinnnggg #ok sue me

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postmodernmulticoloredcloak · 4 years

Text

Fantasies, dreams and desires, ideas of normalcy and fears of difference. A slightly queer reading of 15x14

Mrs Butters is a delightful character who is built to parallel so many things in the show. She occupies perfectly the semantic sphere that the narrative has crafted around Dean’s desires; also, you know, cake.

We could talk for days about the significance of food and drink in Supernatural. One of the biggest themes that run through the entire show is hunger (or thirst) and food is very often a symbol for an emotional need of sorts. Supernatural draws a lot folklore, and human stories have always used symbologies that put together food, desire, love, sex, family, goodness and darkness and all those human experiences.

We have discussed the shit out of every instance of food in the show, analyzed parallels to other stories and fairytales, scrutinized queer-codings and subtexts, got called nasty names by impolite people accusing us of saying that a slice of baked good means Dean likes sitting on dicks. So, yeah, I’m not gonna start explaining everything from the beginning. Let’s jump to the parallels.

- The comfort food. Motherhood, hugs, and the past that can never return: the ideal of childhood and the 50s fantasy

We’ve already talked about how Mrs Butters functions as a parallel to Mary and a symbol of the ideal motherhood that both Mary and Dean struggled with. In Dark Side Of The Moon, we see a memory from Dean’s childhood, where we learn that Mary would cut off the crusts off his sandwiches. Mrs Butters also says that she cut the crusts off, establishing a direct parallel to Dean’s ideal of childhood and child-parent relationship. Or, we should say, as both Mary’s and Dean’s ideals of a child-parent relationship, because we know that Mary set up her life with John and the kids as an elaborate “scene” according to her idea-slash-fantasy of the perfect safe life.

She strugged with that, because her ideal life could never match with reality - she had loose ends from hunting to deal with, she at some level liked having those loose ends to deal with because as much as she hated the hunting life and craved for safety and “normalcy” that was still something she was in her element doing, probably more than the perfect housewife role. Of course when she came back she attempted to recreate the scene but quickly discovered that it was impossible and dropped all attempts to do so, embracing the opposite, or at least what she perceived as the opposite (having a pretty dualistic view of hunting life-domestic life where they cannot be reconciled).

Dean, on the other hand, started out with a similar dualistic view, figuring that he’d always belong to the hunting world and could never have the domestic, “normal” thing at all, embracing his “freakness” as opposed to the concept of normalcy represented by civilians, by the middle class, by the suburbs, by the apple pie, white fence life (insert heavy queer subtext here). And yet there was always an ambiguity with him (again, he’s never one-or-the-other, he’s always both), because, while on the surface he embraces this rebellious, devil-may-care persona, that’s not quite what he is as a full individual. He grew up essentially a housewife from a very early age, has a very caregiving personality, and thrives in taking care of others.

Dean is both Mrs Butters and Mary, where the difference between him and Mary is that Mary couldn’t (didn’t have the time, support, resources?) reconcile parts of her that Dean instead was able to (and in fact recently helped her with: before dying, she’d reached a pretty healthy balance of living her own life as a hunter and having a warm relationship with her sons, at least as healthy as it can get in that kind of circumstances).

Another important parallel to Dark Side Of The Moon, borrowed by Scoobynatural, is the nightgown that feels like being wrapped in hugs: we are reminded of Dean’s “I wuv hugz” from when he was a kid, a symbol for his early life of affection and safety that he lost with his mother. Childhood hugs, comfort food, loving gestures like cutting off the crusts are all symbols of a past that cannot return.

On a level, from a “coming-of-age story” perspective, childhood, with its innocence and perception that adults will always keep us safe, is obviously something that everyone needs to accept as something that belongs to the past and cannot return, to embrace instead the responsibilities and risks of adulthood in a healthy way. In a sense, Dean needs to go through all these steps - acknowledging that his mother was a flawed person, that in fact both of his parents were flawed people who made mistakes but he can forgive them for his own sake in order to be able to let go of trauma and carry on... - to become a healthy adult able to be a good parent to his own child.

(There’s also the cholesterol thing - Mrs Butters chastizes Dean for his diet, but we know that there’s a depth to Dean’s diet, not only his extreme appreciation of food due to experiencing food scarcity and insecurity as a child, but also the memory of his mother’s comfort food, such as the “Winchester surprise”, a monstrosity of meat and cheese. While the “meat man” persona would appear on the surface as a sterotypical masculinity thing, it has layers, in a typical Dean fashion... not coincidentally, in the latest episode he calls himself the meat man while wearing an apron that we’re told he’s very fond of, painting him, again, in a mixture of different meanings, masculinity and femininity, fatherhood and motherhood, devil-may-care attitude and caregiver attitude.)

On another level, a more political level, there’s the 50s fantasy element. We all know the significance of the idealization of the post-war period as the “good ol’ times” in American culture, and it’s an ideal that Mary definitely drew from when she built her perfect life with her family. Mrs Butters represents this in a very literal way, being literally from 1958 when she “froze” herself, and acts as a very stereotyped governess for a bunch of men that feel like they are above housework, what is considered women’s work. Dean initially comments “how progressive”, knowing exactly how bullshit these conversative ideals are, but then appreciates the comforts of the perfect caretaker.

In fact, Dean’s “giving in” to the comforts of a governess makes me think of that famous feminist manifesto “I want a wife” by Judy Syfers... because housework is very much Dean’s work in the bunker. It’s interesting that Mrs Butters immediately comments negatively on the cleanness of the bunker and their clothes: we know that Dean cleans and washes, and, while it’s likely that he cannot keep everything super perfect like a governess would because he’s busy doing many other things, it’s a way Mrs Butters uses to establish roles that she knows and is comfortable with. She is used to being the one who does “feminine” work while the Men of Letters have absolutely zero skills in that regard, and doesn’t really even stop to question if that’s the case with the men in front of her.

Anyway, let’s go back to the 50s fantasy. The show has repeatedly made commentaries on the vacuity of it. Peace Of Mind is the most obvious instance, but there’s plenty of subtext in the show that deals with that typically American aspect. Just like the childhood aspect, the narrative tells us that the “good ol’ times” are also an idealized thing that cannot return (if it ever existed, because Dean’s childhood was built on a fantasy, and the “good ol’ times” are also a fantasy, because the real 50s were horrible for anyone who didn’t swim in privilege). Mrs Butters cannot stay, the 50s fantasy-slash-childhood fantasy cannot last, and Dean embraces his role as an adult-slash-modern housemaker. Blah blah gender, blah blah cake. (Yeah, sorry, but you can fill in the blanks.)

- The contaminated drink. Poison and weakness from the forbidden sexual desire to the forbidden family domesticity

Aaaand now the second branch of parallels that Mrs Butters pinged on my radar, which sends us in an even more queer-subtext-heavy territory. We’re going to talk about the smoothies and the tomato juice. Yes, I know, the smoothies are given to Jack, not Dean, but symbolically Dean and Jack share the same semantic area; both are given a magically conjured drink, and both end up locked away waiting to be killed. For this analysis, they basically overlap.

Let’s start with the tomato juice. I don’t think that it’s a coincidence that Dean is given something that visually reminds of the blood the vampires drink. The tomato juice is a stand-in for blood, and blood in relation to vampirism has a long history of subtext in the show that connects to sexuality, sex, sexual fears and contamination. While vampires are not necessarily always invested of those meanings every single time they appear in the three-hundred-whatever episodes of the show, their main symbology is connected to sex and sexual fears, as vampires do in modern western literature, after all.

You’re probably going to think, wait, what? What has Mrs Butters got to do with sexual fears? Yeah, I know, it sounds weird, but hear me out.

The tomato juice - a stand-in for blood, with a vampire reference - parallels Mrs Butters (who represents trauma, remember) to 6x05 Live Free Or TwiHard. Sexual assault, blood, contamination via the poisoning liquid.

Next to the tomato juice there’s the smoothie. It’s a poison in disguise, a contaminated drink that makes Jack weak. We have, in fact, a pattern of Dean being given contaminated drinks that place him under another’s power. Not just the vampire’s blood, but also Jeremy from 3x10 Dream A Little Dream Of Me, who offers Dean a beer through which he connects him to his dreams. There’s Nick the siren from 4x14 Sex And Violence, who contaminates Dean through the flask. The venom in the siren’s saliva parallels straight to the gorgon Noah in 14x14 Ouroboros, and I don’t have to start explaining what all those things represent, right? (I have written posts about these things, it would be nice if tumblr didn’t suck and showed them to me when I go look for them.)

(Oh, there’s also Crowley’s human blood addiction, which is not, as one might expect, a parallel to Sam’s demon blood addition, but Dean’s First Blade/Mark Of Cain issue, and the First Blade/Mark Of Cain arc is all imbued by the queer subtext of the Dean-Crowley-Castiel triangle.)

Basically, Mrs Butters is inserted in a history of queer subtext, although it appears as obvious that Mrs Butters hardly represents homosexual desire, unless we go a pretty stretchy route of her occupying Cas’ space in the Dean-Sam-Cas-Jack family (I mean, that’s true, but it’s not simply that). It is also true that Mrs Butters represents Cuthbert Sinclair, and here the radar pings, because Cuthbert Sinclair is totally inside the pattern! He wanted to make Dean part of his collection just like the vampire in 6x05 wanted to make Dean part of his pack, with supernatural means of exorting control over Dean and heavy heavy rapey tones. (I know we don’t like to talk about this, but the show does play with incest subtext, John mirrors are often rapey.)

So, we have all this semantic area of poison, weakness and submission to external control painted in overtones of sexual assault and sexual fears especially in relation to homosexual desire. (I am NOT linking homosexual desire to sexual assult, nor the show is, it’s a wide and volatile semantic area where the common denominator is fear, fear of being hurt FOR being different sexually, it’s about vulnerability because of being different. It’s a horror narrative, guys, remember, queer fear is a recurrent theme in the genre. Dracula was about the horror of what happened to Oscar Wilde, we’re running in circles.)

Now, what kind of fear is explored in 15x14? Well, the episode is about the fear of losing family. The plot is about Dean’s feelings towards Jack after he killed Mary. Dean doesn’t know it yet, but he’s going to lose Cas soon also because of Jack. Mary and Cas are both very noisy absences in the episode, and we know that Dean is going to suffer something horrific again that will shatter his family again. This goes past the fears regarding forbidden sexual desire: we’re in the territory of forbidden familial desire, so to speak, Dean’s craving for a domestic peace with his family.

Jack is both the culmination of Dean’s process of family-building, as the son figure of the family, and the element of destruction of that family-building. Not a coincidence Jack’s birthday was referenced, as Jack’s birth coincided with Cas’ death and Mary’s supposed death or at least separation. Now Jack has supposedly killed Mary (or is it a inter-universe separation again? @drsilverfish’s theory always pops up, and we keep getting reminded of other universes - the telescope is broken...) and we know that Cas’ ultimate death hangs above us.

We’re always running in a spiral, Dean’s relationship with Mary, Dean’s relationship with Cas, Dean’s relationship with motherhood and gender roles, Dean’s relationship with sexuality. There’s a big picture of mirrors in the semantic area of fantasies, idealizations, desires and dreams. I hope I managed to make this post make sense, but I’m always open to requests of clarification or elaboration. Thanks for reading!

#my spn thoughts #spn meta #spn 15x14 #queer subtext #dean and femininity #dean and masculinity #dean and food #dean and mary #dean and childhood #dean and sexuality #dean and family #spn

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thecrenellations · 3 years

Photo

Return of the Thief Notes, Part Three: The Book of Pheris, Volume 2, Chapters 6-14 and “Alyta’s Missing Earring”

Notes from my first read, October 2020. (Part One | Part Two | TaT)

Contents: Elephants, guesses about gods and dead men, villain team up, the unexpected, AAAAAAH, elaboration on the word cloud above (which is one big Gen, medium Pheris, medium love, and scattered other names), and more quantitative analysis! I love this book.

Format: Page number. My thoughts (Context?)

Chapter 6

285. unkingly moment, last night with her at home

MISMATCHED STOCKINGS (I have a thing about this.)

Wedges of ribbons?

285. cute

286. a pitneen? A drunk bird?

Wait. Gift of animals??? Did he steal the thunderbolts wearing it?

A canary no longer

287. Hilarion and Ion, wow

Throw a cup of wine on me

288. War pants! War pants!

What’s Attolia wearing?

Sophos! (the whistling!)

288. Ok fine it’s gonna be sad ... I say as if I didn’t just experience the trial (the last lighthearted moment)

Pepper!

Be careful Pheris

Also Relius went to Dite and Juridius, right? (I was convinced Dite would show up)

Sinerine!

290. SOCKS! Yay <3 magus

I was resigned to not much magus but he is HERE!

He’s … so much nicer than he was to the kids in the Thief, lol

A CART!

Lamb, falling in same paragraph. Worried.

Gen :( Gen you ran all over the palace and leapt in the water last night. You are so stupid.

292. Yay Sophos I love you

Math buddies!

294. I’M SAD.

They have had this convo before

I love them

It’s because I can that I think I should

295. Do not overreach. Eddis is right

Danger in self indulgence?

I love her! “I was outside chasing your brother with a stick”

296. My heart. You have to trust yourself. I don’t know if I can. Then you have to trust us.

Tactical Irene!

Thanks I’m gonna hold on to it: “The Call of life is a s powerful as the call of death, and it is no weakness to answer to it”

297. Oh no. My children. Tell each other things like that!

Great time to be childish, Gen.

Yeah honestly. It’s bothered her FOREVER

299. Pull it together, kids!

Thx Helen

Inkpots … :( :( :(

Chapter 7

302. See … that Continent occupation isn’t good either!

303. Unfortunately that is NOT an alternative. Bc volcano.

305. This is stressful.

Chloe, interesting

306. Elephants

Oh my god it’s better than I ever could have imagined (there was like 10 years of lead up to the elephants, and I thoroughly enjoyed them)

I love him

Gen wtf

Yes drink up those guards (“We could keep [an elephant] in the guard’s bathhouse! There’s plenty of room.” “And the guards will bathe ...?” “In the palace reservoir.” “Our drinking water.”)

#6 Gen about elephants

308. This is gonna be a disaster

Hilarion with an eyeglass

Fuck Pheris is making this up.

Gen I love you

Oh my god

Honestly idk if Gen is having fun but I AM

They’re. They’re such a power couple.

Also Bu-seneth is so rude to Attolia

309. so vague about battle, but I’m sure it’s horrible

310. hero talk. Chills.

311. all the woman comparisons for Gen (“Would [a world with no war and no heroes be a bad thing?” “That’s a woman’s question”)

Wow. Interesting. Anonymity

312. Don’t listen to them Gen!

Bad tempered cooks

313. lol. Good looks.

Gen. the hand joke. Why

Well that was … a scene (I don’t know my Henry V)

Reassuring to have a glove. Which one?

314. No. Bad. This is what I was afraid of. (Nahuseresh baiting Gen with Kamet)

Ok Pheris

315. That cannot be true. (it was not!)

Gen. No. No.

316. Wow. That worked out well. So far.

They called him annux. If Kamet is really dead…

319. Yeah Attolia is RIGHT

Yeah I can’t actually either!

Irene knows. In his story!

320. Glove resolved very fast

Interesting reversal (Gen and his dad)

Maddening!

Chapter 8

322. who’s charging off in a haze of glory now

Philologos wounded

Wait, the attendants follow him in to battle...

Cleon RIP

Temenus <3

No. Stenides

If they ever returned.

His brother died in an explosion

Gen’s tears

This is sad.

323. lion lamb :(

325. At least they have each other

Morality is an illusion. Like safety?

326. that’s what Costis was mapping, right? (nope)

How many has Gen killed now

328. Who. Pol? Ambiades? (The cairn man question remains)

Oh no

Oh no. you can fall from a horse

HILARION!

Is Fordad a spy?

I am just not accepting this yet

WAIT THE MEDES TOOK HIM! (I thought the Attolians had taken Gen, or Gen’s body, at first.)

330. wow things only Pheris can do

GDI Erondites

WOW THIS IS A VILLAIN TEAM UP

332. You gave it to him dude (Nahuseresh asking “Why does he still have this?” about Gen’s hook)

I love Gen. I wonder if he’s afraid.

This is bad.

Whose treason, whose betrayal?

333. Yeah! Kamet said so (“Tell me again that you are king.” “Annux, if you prefer.”)

334. Oh god.

Get your stories straight bastards

Rolled in a rug!

336. Oh gen

Oh god

Yeah this is …

Be careful what you ask for

338. What did he sign as, though, Attolis? Eugenides?

Nomenus wtf

What does mwt have against facial hair (Fordad, Nahuseresh)

Costis please come (idk how I thought he was going to help, but I was in Costis Denial and expected him to show up at any moment)

Everyone must be going through a lot

A face like an open grave

Gen.

Gen I love you

YES

Is he … invulnerable now?

Gen what.

Is he possessed? Is he already a god?

341. Yeah same. (“I think he meant that I should not fear him, either. I did, though ... I still followed him”)

This isn’t being self indulgent or overreaching, is it?

342. RIP Ion Nomenus

“My work”

Oh Nomenus

Does he just exist for the morally gray and loyal angst feelings? It works (...)

344. What did he DO

Yes! Swearing Gen!

345. love all caps Gen

Those names

Aaah

346. Ooof.

Chapter 9

347. moon promises

Yeah

Noooo Philologos :(

Legarus … :(

349. Gen what what

Sparks

Costis? Stenides? STENIDES?

Wow ok he killed Bu-seneth

350. god

See I said Nahuseresh shouldn’t have said that

Also is Gen a bastard

351. WHAT (“Because your council had just voted to kill him”)

Oh Helen

Oh Irene

Does he invite him in?

This is reassuring to the reader (“He can bear his god a little while without losing himself”)

Aaaaah Galen

354. Gen that’s a lot. A lot.

Don’t kill everyone.

So so so x7 of doom

Bye Yorn

I hope he wins too

Go away Nahuseresh

Omg

another fall

Interregnum

Ok it was Lader (when you don’t know who the man at the cairn was, keep on guessing!)

Yeah the circumstances thing is back

Oh god

Oh no

Chapter 10

361. how long has it been?

362. three days

I love them (Elephants! My excellent queen!)

You promised to trust him

364. Oh no. Oh no. (Relius)

370. These Helen convos…

371. Sad. :(

372. Emtis and Lader

Yeah.

Omg

374. Wow

Steal by elephant?

377. Don’t forget about Dite!

378. He’s gonna kill him?

379. Is Dite dead too?

Oh Sejanus

Oh I see

He’s got a mercy taste too

380. Switching!

Lying in moonlight. Hm.

381. Yesss

Nooooo

383. I’m nervous

Gods blessing on your road

Wow. <3

They would have fallen… (if Pheris had gone through with his plan, that’s how they both would have died)

Did not expect Sejanus feelings in Rott.

Chapter 11

386. He’s gonna know. But the trust.

Ion knows.

390. Gen…

Pheris is Lyopidus?

I’m scared

393. I kind of love Ion

More Sejanus, bring it on

I’m nervous

Hmmm… who could it be

395. MoW :( <3 I will not be ok if he dies too

Gen knows the way bc Costis (nope)

Oh my god these two (“I lied” “I know”)

Chapter 12

398. Oh no.

This is not

Her Thief

Irene. “only sleeping” this is what Eddis said to her

But mist… water???

Face touch

402. not living or dead. King

Yes. But no.

403. crying at everything and the MoW next to him

There he went

It was the Eddisians. He fought with them.

404. yeah that’s a lot to deal with, Pheris

405. what a mystery man (Sejanus)

Lol mysterious exit averted

Excuse me that was a difference

406. :(

Am I king

407. Helen is once again right. She’s also always right

MOIRA was Melisande???!??!? (who even knows)

409. ?? Irene?

Same as for Dite. Man loves his brothers. (nephews. you know what I mean.)

Nice.

AAH yup. Add it to the list (“How neatly you tie them together” ... the list of is ways Gen and Irene are becoming more like each other)

410. speaking of which where is Costis!

Hm… what god was that

I love their reactions

411. SPLENDID.

Oh Irene. It’s true <3

It’s so true (“When the king gives his heart he gives it completely”)

Now I’m crying again, at them

412. Gen, she has a point.

Amazing. I … I don’t think she meant to ask like THAT

Jesus, Gen.

You do not know a wagon from a wheelbarrow

413. Irene!

She’d better get home safe.

Gen!

Omg

414. I have another bad feeling, about Gen

415. High king or queen though?

Magus <3

Chapter 13

416. “of course”

That’s ominous

417. No! Sejanus!

A gut wound yikes

418. sadness

419. lol “ill will”

We’re in Roa. My heart’s pounding.

422. I love Gen.

YESSS

Yes I love them.

Sheep.

Kamet!!!

?!?

Costis. Mattresses exist.

424. Oh no.

426. roof dream

Good roof dream

Good job Helen

428. TWINS. Everyone was RIGHT

Reyatimi

Oh shit. The sky.

Oh dear. :( aaah

430. Climbing the rigging!

“it’s just that you have so many least favorite things”

431. I love them (Gen and Irene)

432. I love them (Gen and Helen)

433. RIGHT! I was thinking

I can’t <3 (they’re naming the baby after the MoW, and it’s perfect, and she’s not gonna tell us, huh)

OH MY GOD!!! (baby thief!)

WOW!

434. AAAAAAH (Hector! @threetoadswaltz finished reading before me and knew that I would explode about this and I DID, I threw my arms in the air! HECTOR!)

PERFECTION!

435. AAAAAAAAH (this was when it became clear they were going to dance on the roof)

Yes she was (as surefooted as the king)

Is this the first time she’s Irene

Yes.

I’m filled with happiness

Celia and Lavia again … lol.

Lol Chloe

THALIA

CRENELATED wall

HE’S ALIVE

Kamet is a sweetheart

The gods!!!

The gods!

Aracthus

Mystery goddess?

Ula?

Moira! Yes!

(I was very happy. The page itself:)

Alyta’s Missing Earring

Wait. Was it Alyta.

Glad we got a bi god (with all due respect to Immakuk and Ennikar, whose bi-ness and godliness is perhaps more up to the reader)

Got very bi very fast

Also. He’s Gen.

Interesting difference in story

Kathodicia!

Are we literally getting ALL the answers? (No. But so many more than I expected!)

Gen’s grandfather sucks

An urn huh

Omg. Heiro’s earrings?

Oh my gosh.

Same, Gen. Same.

Obvs Phresine knows.

Is Phresine a goddess?

Same, Gen. Same.

She got to tell a story! She is so happy!

I think he’s a little scared

Moleskin

Yeah peace huh

This series is socially sanctioned silliness

1000 Eugenides. Wow.

They did melt though

Little thief.

<3 <3 <3

He’s a character in a story

A big question

Tamarisk? Takima? (We are not getting all the answers.)

That’s it! Thank you for reading - it feels very self-indulgent to type up all of these, but I will honestly take most chances to relive the intense and wonderful experience of reading this book for the first time, which often means looking back at my own notes and sometimes means sharing them with people. Also, I really love reading liveblogs/real-time book thoughts, so here is one from awhile ago ... all at once.

Anyway, check out this word cloud from all of the notes (made with this site):

It’s ... mostly just character names, with a variety of words that express my enthusiasm and feeling (love, lol, wow, yes, excuse me...). Gen is the biggest because I said his name 115 times! Here are some totals for the other characters who came up a lot:

115 - Gen (and 10 Eugenides)

42 - Pheris

26 - Costis

18 - Irene (and 6 Attolia)

16 - Helen (and 8 Eddis)

10 - Sophos (and 4 Sounis)

12 - the magus

11- Kamet

11 - Teleus

10 - Relius

9 - Ion

6 - MoW

6 - Moira

5 - Sejanus

These don’t fully represent how much I had to say about them, because I didn’t always refer to people by name or title ... which kind of explains why Costis’s total is ridiculously high compared to how much he is in the book - I likely have more notes about other characters, but I didn’t need to bring up their names because they were already present in the scenes I was taking notes on (for example, I think I talked about Relius more than Teleus, the magus, or Kamet, but many of those just referred to him as he, because it was obvious to me who I meant). But also I was just looking for Costis! Anyway. My use of names and titles for the monarchs also really illustrates how much this book reshaped the way I think of these characters’ relationship to them, Gen’s and Irene’s especially.

It’s representative of my feelings about this series that I wrote “I love them” about so many combinations of characters. Who, exactly? And how many times? Well...

5 - Gen and Irene

4 - Gen and Helen

2 - Gen and Pheris

1 - Gen, Irene, Helen, and Sophos

1 - Helen and Sophos

1 - Costis and Kamet

1 - unknown combo of Gen, Pheris, and Relius on p.166, I love them all and can’t remember. Kamet’s map was there, too, and I do love Kamet, so maybe he was in there too.

no matter what the numbers say, I love them all endlessly, and I love this book.

be blessed in your endeavors, yes I will take any questions about these notebook screams, etc.

#annotating this caused me to look back at so many scenes i will never be over #aaah #return of the thief #the queen's thief #mwt #return of the thief spoilers #rott spoilers #something i #hey #threetoadswaltz #i tagged you because i mentioned you but reading this is not Required #you know it all anyway. ... this time ;)#it was just your exploding comment

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theories-by-majority-vote · 5 years

Text

Why Sou's win rate was 0.0%

First to start off: let's discuss the purpose of the first trial Sou experienced. For what reason would the organization give information this vital to a candidate? The reason for that lies in the purpose of the first trial. The death game runs on simulations and the first trial is the key to changing the entirety of the game. For starters, say Sou’s first trial had him do the key room, perhaps him having to rely on someone else to free him. Would that not change how he’d trust others? Say Sara was the one who had to play Russian roulette with two choices, just like one of victim’s first trial? How would that change the game? Simply put, it would change the number of survivors of the game, the survivors themselves and how rest of the game might play out. The first trial is vital to how the games will go. And I do believe that the reasons everyone got the first trials that they did was not by random chance. It was purposeful that everyone experienced what they did. Back to Sou though, under the cut. Note: The analysis in this post is not excusing any of Sou’s behavior but rather giving a possible explanation of why he acted such.

In the beginning of the game we see him wary of revealing his name/ occupation. With Sara’s internal monologue, she assumes him to be timid. Gin’s dialogue commenting on Sou to get a job when he makes it out results in him looking a little distressed, which Sara interprets as this:

[Image Caption: Sara’s thought on Sou Chapter 1.1: (Looks like he’s being crushed under not only the immediate fear, but an uncertain future...)]

Sou is very clearly anxious at this part of the game, the news still incredibly fresh. I would also like to think he wanted to wait til mostly everyone introduced themselves to match his information with theirs, to seem just as innocent. After all it is revealed that in actuality that Sou is Shin and instead of being a job hopping late night convenience store worker, he’s actually self employed, perhaps as a hacker, judging by his computer skills.

In this death game, Sou recreated his identity to keep his walls up, guard up. He distrusts everyone, withheld information, used people, blackmailed people. He did everything for self preservation.

[Image Caption: Sou Speaking in Chapter 1.1: “H... Hey now, I dunno about that... You can’t trust people like that, right?”]

We don’t have data on how the games really played out, not clearly at least . We don’t know how Sou acted in the AI versions of the game, and considering that he did break the monitor with his AI, it seems like that information is deliberately left from us. But I do think it’s very different from the Sou we know in this game, considering he abandoned “himself”.

[Image Caption: Sou Speaking Second Main game Chapter 2.2: “I absolutely can’t survive this Death Game...”]

[Image Caption: Sou Speaking Second Main game Chapter 2.2: “That’s why... I had to abandon “myself"..!!”]

A term as severe as ‘abandon’ would imply there was a drastic change. So the Sou who constantly lie and withholds information, who sees everyone with distrust, isn’t really Sou. It’s natural he became intensely distrustful though, considering he thinks everyone as an enemy. To someone who’s only information is that people are killed by majority vote and his chance of survival is impossible would only consider that he is set up to be killed every time.

[Image Caption: Shin’s thoughts in his flashback: (Everyone will choose me by vote...and kill me...)]

In the first main game, we see Sou snap when everyone puts their trust in Sara. The group as a whole trusts Sara because of her behavior, of how her actions speak for her. She was the only who got them through the Russian roulette, something Sou didn’t see. From Sou’s point of view however, Sara’s trust is fake, because he saw the emails and interpreted as her being with the enemies. Of course he would think that too, considering he was attacked because of him gaining this information. Sou is no fool, but he is also blinded by preconceptions fed to him from the first trial. Sara has the highest percentage of wins after all, she must be deceiving everyone, using them, that could be what is in his mind.

[Image Caption: Sou in the first main game Chapter 1.2: “ Death is just a matter of time for you. That’s the way weaklings live!”]

This line Sou says, when he snaps, is from his anger and frustration of people not realizing that Sara is deceiving them all, because he believed that to be the case, when we the player as well as other characters have an understanding of Sara because of her actions. This reaction from Sou could be targeted at his true self too, perhaps considering it to be weak and as a result the cause of his death.

To Sou, he never survived because he was weak, too trusting, too honest. These words do not describe the current Sou at all, however. Except, we do see glimpses of his kindness in the game, particularly in chapter 2.

[Image Caption: Sara looking at Kanna in Chapter 2.1 and thinking: They’re tears... of salvation.]

He probably is very attuned to emotions and he knows what to say to help or hurt them. Hence why he was able to write something to Kanna that helped her feel free from the guilt of her sisters death. Sou has a soft spot for Kanna, because she is too honest for her own good. She is simply a child who has been hurt so much, and she trusts Sou to be good as well. I can imagine Sou cannot distrust her, nor think of this girl as an enemy. He did something to relieve her of her emotional pain. He did something of the similar extent to Sara, when he created an Ai of Joe just for her, and that final gift to her was what she needed to get past her hallucinations.

Also, one of the biggest character shifts we see in Sou is when escape is most likely, when he successfully hacks into the security system. This is when his fears of being chosen to die has faded away, because you can’t be voted to die if all the survivors simply escape the game.

[Image Caption: Sou speaking to Sara in chapter 2.2 “Ahaha..!! It worked!! It worked, Sara!!”]

Sara points out that Sou seems lively when he is working on the hacking and when he completes and successfully hacks through the security systems, he calls Sara, Sara, not Miss Sara like he usually does. He also seems genuinely happy. He also wants them all to escape *together*. He doesn’t keep this information to himself nor tries to leave ahead of everyone, and instead tells Sara that they all will go together.

Sou could easily have tricked them at this point in time, took the information to make a run for it. If he really only cared about himself he probably would have done so.

All this information on Sou’s true self is necessary to understand his 0.0% survival rate in the simulation games.

In my guess, I think the reason hes never survived the game is because he chose not to. If he died, it was not by the choices of everyone else, but his own choice. He would have acted such that in the end, everyone would have chosen him.

To elaborate on this, I do think that after the first main game, if Sou did survive, he would have done anything it took to make it so one of the people who died would be him, whether it would be by taking the sacrifice card, or convincing everyone to choose him.

Just before the second main game, we get a glimpse of this scene/memory of sorts:

[Image Caption: Sara holding a dying Shin Tsukimi with Q-taro and Mishima in the shot. No dialogue]

Sou is dying, similarly to how he was killed in the second main game. Some things to notice, is that Professor Mishima is there, implying this may be a memory from a simulation. The dialogue in this scene shows concern and worry for Sou, there is not hatred, nor any animosity or indifference to him. From this scene, its clear that he was not hated by, at the very least, the people shown here.

With as little information that we have here of the simulation games, I do find that coming to the conclusion that Sou self sacrificed himself in every game (that he survived the first trial of) to be highly plausible, especially considering his reaction to Kanna trying to self-sacrifice herself in the place of Sou.

[Image Caption: Sou in the second main game Chapter 2.2 to Kanna: “ Don’t be ridiculous, Kanna!!”]

His face is of shock and desperation. It is so incredibly clear that he cares so much about Kanna. If you do choose to kill her, he is beyond mad. He hates that someone chose to sacrifice them self for *him*. Especially someone he cares about.

[Image Caption: Sou in the Kanna’s death Scenario Chapter 2.2: I’ll kill everyone one of you who killed Kanna...!!]

When do kill Sou though, he says, “that’s fine” and accepts that Sara hates him. He accepts the decision because that’s what he wanted. He wanted it so he would die in the place of Kanna.

When it finally came to his death, he didn't curse them or hated them, and instead he accepts his fate. I think it’s at this point, when he is dying, does he realize why he didn’t survive any other time, hence why he says this:

[Image Caption: Sou dying, in Chapter 2.2: “Maybe I should’ve believed... in everyone...”]

Sou, if he had believed in everyone from the start, would only change how everyone perceived him, but not his fate, because to Sou, he could never let anyone die in his place.

To conclude this particularly long theory/analysis, I must bring back the first trial once more. Why did the organization do something like this to Shin Tsukimi? I think it went against the purpose of the game. The game about trust and distrust relies on each person’s opinion of others. And should Sou, sacrifice himself, it no longer is a game on majority vote but rather a single person’s personal decision. The organization had to change this part in Sou, and such, force him to take the drastic decision that resulted in everyone current perception of him.

Thank you everyone who made this far in this theory post!

-Bee

#Yttd #Sou Hiyori #Shin Tsukimi #Your Turn to Die #Kimi ga shine #Yttd Bee Theories #yttd spoilers

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acidmatze · 3 years

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I said “I wont elaborate” under my Gojou is autistic blurb earlier but that was because it was 3am and now its not and im more or less conscious (Awake would be an overstatement) and my need to overshare is as big as my brain telling me not to because my words dont make any sense anyyway (Unstoppable force VS unmoveable object)

This isnt meta or an analysis its just me screaming excitedly into the void while i wait for my headphones to charge so i can leave the house (music blocks out noises)

So why would I say he is autistic in the first place? Because I can. “Oh but he doesnt seem autistic hes so open and extroverted and talkative” Bruh, if i would have to list all extroverted, talkative, open autistic people i know we would still be sitting here tomorrow. Autistic = introverted, quiet and shy is a false equivalency and we should bury it. Anyway, I wouldnt have thought of him as autistic too until i read how everyone else around him (sometimes including the reader) reacts to him. How they describe him and I realised that this didnt match up at all with what I was perceiving. And then i realised that people used to perceive me exactly the same way as they perceive Gojou now. The reason they now view me differently is 1. I avoid people out of fear 2. I did years of therapy and introspection and think i have the worst mistakes under control now. NTs are really picky with what behaviours they accept and when and seriously i still dont know what their deal is, just chill out. I am still consciously choosing different dialogue options than i normally would but those would piss people off for reasons i can only vaguely understand. Gojou meanwhile doesnt limit himself like that, he does what many of us really want and just says whatever. Hes still respected cuz hes the strongest sorcerer while when i would say whatever i naturally would people would beat the shit out of me. (Catch me throwing hands with Barbara in the soup aisle because i let her know that her coat is hideous. After all, if people are allowed to openly and loudly tell me that the way i look is weird then i should be allowed to tell people that their fashion sense sucks. At least their choice is deliberate while i can do very little about my face)

Okay back on track. Gojou actually sucks at communicating. But he has enough self-esteem to not care. If they dont get him they dont get him and those who will, will. People would perceive him differently if he wouldnt suck. He sucks at communcating empathy He sucks at communicating his thoughts and intentions He sucks at communicating his emotions He only sucks at this in the eyes of many neurotypicals, mind you. My autistic bff and me understood him plenty. (Pls dont ask me what he Actually means cuz i just cannot put it into words. If i could i would have more friends cuz i wouldnt suck at communicating too) Somehow his use of metaphors stroke some people as odd which stroke me as odd cuz many people do that to help others or themselves understand complex issues better. But apparently when he does it its wrong? Maybe because you need to know the source of the metaphor? I dunno. Probably. I think if he opens his mouth to say something you only get roughly 50-60% of the actual message. The emotions, true intentions and everything else is left behind cuz shits hard to communicate, especially when your mind has a million thoughts at once and everything is happening so much. Its something you just learn to live with eventually. Some start overexplaining, some dont realise that the other party doesnt get the entire message and some dont care. I mostly overexplain, Gojou doesnt care. Its like youre getting only raw data and data isnt the most emotional stuff ever, right? (Unless youre a nerd like me and get Very Emotional over raw space data because SPACE IS BEAUTIFUL, MAN) I forgot what else i wanted to say because

Unlimited Void just reads like a sensory overload. Someone should trap me in there and I would probably say it feels like a regular Tuesday. The entire eye thing reads like either constant sensory overload or having shitty eyesight or both. (As someone who has both..... both) I have to block out sounds and Gojou has to block out sight, understandable. Sight is the sense we take in the most with so i can imagine that gets overloaded the fastest, especially when you see more than regular people do. (Sometimes it DOES feel like we see more than everyone else. Maybe we do? Who knows) Like yesterday i went absolutely ballistic in the supermarket cuz they changed their entire layout and colour scheme and its already a big and noisy and overwhelming store to begin with and the new layout made everything even worse. New things sucks. They make me anxious. Unless i want them. Years before i was only able to enter a store with music on and blocking out every other noise and dont even attempt to talk to me Im focussing on not loosing my shit over all the other senses being overloaded. Now i learned to suppress the shutdown until im back home so i can loose my shit there. Have you ever seen everything at once? Heard everything at once? If youre NT you maybe say yes but i would say nah you havent. If you would you would loose your shit, you wouldnt even know what to do anymore, you would probably either lie down on the floor screaming or shut down completely and not do anything, because just breathing is now taking all energy. There is nothing because there is everything. Yeah sounds like Unlimited Void to me, if you ask me.

I forgot every other reason i had because what is Taking Notes So You Can Remember Later, theres only one impulse after another cuz ADHD. (They too see and hear and notice everything at once) This is a jumbled mess, have fun

#should i tag it.......?#no im afraid of angry people coming at me #i dont know how to deal with that #jjk #whoops i gave it One Tag that should be enough #im not a meta writer anyway so it doesnt really matter #good thing im not a meta writer im not eloquent enough for that #blablabla

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mullersquad · 3 years

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Tainá Müller, leading actress of “Good morning, Veronica” prepares for season 2

by Paula Calçade | jan 1st, 2021 | Interview

One of the most watched series in 2020 on Netflix features a well-known storyline of foreign crime movies; a murderer abducts, tortures and kills women. The year that has not ended has brought many reflections and mobilizations on social networks, but perhaps one of the themes of the long months - in addition to Covid-19 - has been feminism. From the banner defended in Big Brother Brasil by the participants of the last edition to the motor to denounce sexual abuse in the largest broadcaster in the country, women were active in the past year. And “Good Morning, Veronica” opened the various layers of this violence on the streaming screens. “It is an open wound, I knew the responsibility I had in leading a plot like this”, says Tainá Müller, Veronica of the series.

The Gaucho actress was aware that the production would generate debate. "I was surprised and happy that the repercussion was really great, the unfolding in social networks, in different groups, was huge", she remembered. In an interview from her home - now away from the recording sets and in isolation with her family - Tainá sees feminism as a true revolution. "It is the cure for imbalance, it is equality through respect!"

PHOTO BY GUSTAVO ZYLBERSZTAJN

“Good Morning, Veronica” is the adaptation of the book of the same name, by Ilana Casoy and Raphael Montes. The plot follows the journey of the police clerk Verônica Torres to find a criminal, and seeks justice for a victim of domestic violence, played by Camila Morgado - who impresses once again for her impeccable performance. Tainá Muller brings the experience of interpretation in police narratives that started in “Elite Squad 2”, when played a reporter in José Padilha's film, 2010. “At the time, I met many people from Bope, I learned that doing these labs is important.”

As in the film starring Wagner Moura, the plot of “Good Morning, Veronica” is also not easy to digest; physical and psychological violence unfolds in subtle and striking scenes. But the identification with the setting of the series, which takes place in São Paulo, makes the episodes to be seen even faster. Vale do Anhangabaú, Marginal Pinheiros and Tietê bus station are scenarios that make everything even more real.

Tainá Müller playing the police clerk Veronica Torres – PHOTO BY SUZANNA TIERIE | NETFLIX

The city has also been the home of Tainá Muller since 2000, when she arrived in the country's largest metropolis at the age of 18. “It was the first time I took a plane in my life, I came to do the trainee at MTV, and soon I felt embraced by the nightlife and cultural life of São Paulo”, she says. I agitate that it misses a lot in pandemic times. “I've always been to concert a lot and that's how I met my husband (director Henrique Sauer), we missed these agglomerations, as well as missing my trip to Rio Grande do Sul and meeting my family.”

Like all of us, the pandemic went through Taina's life, changes that took her back to the couch, after years away from therapy. “I still cannot name the many transformations that 2020 brought me, I am elaborating everything in the analysis, but I already see how it is almost an obligation for those who could stay at home, safely, to develop a critical and sensitive look at what we are going through”, analyzes.

Tainá as Veronica and Camila as Janete, in the “Good Morning, Veronica” series – PHOTO BY SUZANNA TIERIE | NETFLIX

The post-graduate course in Philosophy, which the actress - graduated in journalism and former VJ of MTV - ends at a distance in quarantine, further sharpens Tainá's senses. "I am almost 40 years old, it is time to put on the scale what really matters in life, the readings of this course make me reflect a lot."

Courage that comes from home

With a intense theme, "Good Morning, Veronica" demanded a lot from the actress, including physically. “I did shooting exercises, I followed the daily life of a clerk in Rio de Janeiro, who went up in communities for operations, a routine that also has a different meaning for the women who are part of it”, she points out. "I remember one day she was colic, but she needed to get the rifle and accompany the team, it was amazing, it's about being a woman in a war zone."

To rest from these immersions and the recordings of the series, Tainá tried to maintain a family routine close to her son, Martin, then three years old. “I prepared for two months, I filmed in four, it was very intense and I was away from home, I wanted to make up for it”, she reflects. A situation similar to the life of the character she plays, Verônica, and many other real Brazilian women, who are divided between work, home and children.

Tainá Müller playing the police clerk Veronica Torres – PHOTO BY SUZANNA TIERIE | NETFLIX

From her first family, the actress says she brings the courage and the gas to follow dreams without strings attached. “My parents raised their three daughters (she and the sisters Titi and Tuti Müller) to fall into the world, I didn't have this pretension that we would get married, it was more to follow our dreams, whatever they were”, she remebered. "I also think it has to do with the courage that the people of Rio Grande do Sul have, I see a lot that we are created to not give up and persevere, we have brought this a lot throughout history, I bring it with me today", she analyzes.

Multifaceted and prepared

With a blonde wig, a low-cut black dress and the characteristic birthmark of Marilyn Monroe on the face that Tainá Müller was on the stage of a theater for the last time before the pandemic, in the play “Os Desajustados”, written by Luciana Pessanha, directed by Daniel Dantas. The show took place in Rio de Janeiro in 2019. The plot involved a meeting of the Hollywood star with playwright Arthur Miller (Isio Ghelman), actor and singer Yves Montand (Felipe Rocha) and actress Simone Signoret (Cristina Amadeo), in 1960 at the Beverly Hills Hotel in California.

Tainá Müller as Marilyn Monroe in the play “Os Desajustados” – PHOTO BY MANU TASCA

“Marilyn is a character of any actress's dreams: complex, multifaceted, tragic. It was very challenging to embody her, because everyone has your own Marilyn, loves her in some way, already knows something about her life”, she reflects. “I miss the theater, I think about doing a solo play soon.”

Alone or surrounded by other actors, 2021 reserves a lot of work for her. In recent months, Netflix announced the second season of the series “Good Morning, Veronica”. "We will film as soon as the vaccine comes out," says Tainá. While we wait anxiously for the most desired item in the world, the actress is already physically preparing to live again the police clerk Veronica Torres. "I exercise, I started boxing classes," she says. "I need to be prepared, because this year will be intense, I want to move!"

#tainamuller #taina muller #bom dia veronica #marilyn monroe #entrevista #interviews #29horas

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pahal-dehradun · 3 years

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MUST READ FOR DESIGN ASPIRANTS

What is Design

Design is the practice of intentional creation to enhance the world. It is a field of doing and making, creating great products and services that fit human needs, that delight and inform. Design is exciting because it calls upon the arts and humanities, the social, physical, and biological sciences, engineering and business.

Design thinking comprises strategies for finding and solving problems by bringing an understanding of people and society to technology design, focusing upon finding the correct problem before rushing to a solution. We believe that design thinking skills will be a key success factor for a new generation of creative leaders in technology, business, and education.

Design's purview has widened from its historical focus on artifacts to its new, expanded role in developing services and experiences, and improving sustainability, health, and education. In earlier years, designers were trained in form, function, materials, and aesthetics. Today, culture and emotion are central, plus knowledge of societal issues, techniques for subtle persuasion, and the intricacies of complex, interdependent systems. Design education must change.

Design is a field of doers and makers. In the practical world, successful products and services require generalists who can cut horizontally across many of the deep, vertical specialties. Generalists cannot succeed without close collaboration with specialists, while the knowledge of a specialty is too limited to create an effective service or product for people without the aid of design generalists.

Is Design for Me ??

Weird is good :

Students are attracted to design in the first place because they see the world in a different way, slightly askew. They are weird. Most of them have heard this many times in their lives—and it was not intended as a compliment. But Weird is good; it’s an anomaly and it’s unique. If you look at any “successful” person, they are probably being paid to play out the goofiness or athleticism or nerdiness or curiosity they already possessed as a child. Unfortunately for most people, somewhere along the road their weirdness was taught out of them or, worse, shamed out of them. Crushed by the need to “fit in,” they left their quirks and special powers behind. But it is our flaws that make us interesting. We need to not only hang on to them, but hone them. I don’t try to make my students “Designers.” Weird is good, but only if we put it in your work.

Design is not math. This is what makes the work hard. There are no right answers and very few wrong answers. Design is more as an innate skill set that we are born with—a small ember waiting to be coaxed into a larger flame. If you know how to use your brains, to make your senses of association and imagery sharp and flexible and urge them to seek their own way and express their individuality and push yourself to think for self, form an opinion—and know that your opinions matter. Essentially, you have to “learn” to be yourself and put it in your work.

DESIGN EDUCATION – A PARADAIGM SHIFT

“If we teach today as we taught yesterday, we rob our children of tomorrow.”

In today’s dynamic world, it is imperative to monitor and map trends that have far-reaching impact on the larger society and the resulting implications on preparing design students. Definitely the future requires a different skill set. Employers are more and more looking towards hiring quick learners who can easily swing from one role to another and in the process be more productive for an organization; a definite shift from specialized subject skills that are the primary outcome of a design education, towards life skills.

With the ever changing job market and the industry, flexible ‘new age’ courses are gaining favour among learners as compared to traditional courses and skills. Learners of today are increasingly opting for non-mainstream new age alternate career options.

The role of design and of designers is increasingly shifting towards innova- tion, creative problem-solving, co-creation and cross-disciplinary collaboration. Designers are increasingly invited to the table to tackle complex business, social, and environmental problems that require much more than a visual solution. Design in these contexts is more complex than styling or making; it is an iterative process of redefinition that often produces products, services and experiences that continue to evolve over time.

Design is no longer an elite and exclusive language of luxury products, brands, and services. In this capacity, a designer is no longer viewed as privileged genius, but rather as a strategic partner in a range of contexts from startups to large corporations and governments.

Fortune 500 companies that are not design studios or digital products are creating new positions at the executive level that place emphasis on design. It is becoming common to see designers at the top with titles like Chief Design Officer, Chief Creative Officer or VP of Design at companies like Hyundai-Kia, PepsiCo, Capital One, Johnson & Johnson, and 3M

future needs are also an urgent need . This reiterates that there is a need to reconstruct the education model towards inter-disciplinary approach and revolutionize curriculum by merging and making them more progressive, responsive, real-time, and learner driven (what will industry offer and student readiness for it). A shift from:

· Disciplinary to inter-disciplinary/ multi-disciplinary;

· Specialized to holistic

· Fixed path learning to flexi path approach

· Product based to systems based

Employability trends: expectation from a young graduate

We are driven by economy of sales and economies of time, which are changing fast and so are the related needs and expectations. ‘Those whom the left-brain corporate masters tolerated as an interesting distraction but not really relevant to the main game, are now not only becoming the main game, they’re rewriting its rules. Designers who were once the barbarians at the gates now have the keys to the kingdom

In a qualitative study, over the last one-year, many design professionals and educators in India were spoken with through formal/ informal interactions in the form of focus group meetings and one on one discussion. These professionals were experts from various domains including product design, accessory design, fashion, visual and interactive communication, advertising, media and journalism, sports management, hotel management. Some important insights were brought forth.

When hiring a fresh graduate, design professionals look for relevant skills and capabilities over degrees. During interaction with industry experts, most of them stated that there is not much distinction in recruiting masters and bachelor level graduates. The preferred candidate should be well aware and be able to incorporate global as well as local factors while demonstrating responsibility towards ethical practices in design delivery.

With continuously changing scenario and the organization structure also altering from clear verticals to network based structure, there is a need for GENERALISTS rather than Specialists, who adapt from one role to another. There is a need for people who will solve BUSINESS PROBLEMS and not just design problems. Graduates should showcase the ability to develop new innovative ideas or improvement to products and processes. They should be able to develop and apply strategic thinking, critical analysis leading to innovative user centred responses.

Looking at the future trends, there is an increased demand for those who can effectively collaborate/connect and work in trans-disciplinary teams, while understanding the importance of individual role and responsiveness in an engaging and collaborative learning environment. There should be increased emphasis on research to generate wise designers who act more as consultants than as pure designers (as they are traditionally described)

Industry prefers to hire graduates with enthusiastic ‘ATTITUDE’ and appropriate ‘SKILLS.’ Experts further elaborate attitude as:

· Risk taker, challenge the norms, entrepreneurial mindset, adaptability, embracing (open to change and ideas), bring passion to work, patience, multi-tasker, and partnership with technology.

· Graduate should be passionate about the area of specialization, should show ownership of the creative idea and be excited by it. He/she should have the thinking acumen, should be good with people, should be creative, insightful and a planner. Passionate people with fresh ideas. People who love their work – be proud – be able to say ‘wow’

· Person not desirous of being in their box

· Awareness of the ecosystem - Curious about what’s happening in ‘design’. Understand what’s happening in the world

· Exposure, Willingness & Adaptability: Ability to adapt and quickly pick up nuances of change

· Wanting to integrate mediums

#design #design career #designaspirants #opportunities #pahaldehradun

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irenerei · 4 years

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THING I HAVE NOTICED IN FALLIN’ FLOWER MV

The MV killed me in so many ways and I loved all the details and symbolism that tally with the lyric. It will be long so...

I did an short analysis of the lyric, can be found here

The MV killed me in so many ways and I loved all the details and symbolism that tally with the lyric. Too bad I dont have good pausing skills so please play the MV while reading this if you like.

The chains that holding back Hoshi and Minghao tally to lyric about hardship endured during summer and rainy days. Or, i personally would think the chains are actually roots. I mean trees are rooted right?

Minghao and Hoshi’s intimate dance, notice that Hoshi is stretching out like a branch while Minghao’s twisting upwards to signify growth

A flash of Minghao and Hoshi’s dance that they are on the ground look like struggling it maybe symbolise bud growing out from the soil.

Wonwoo chained, i will express this further in the wonhui moment later

Woozi with Color stripes? looks like he is an artist struggling to express what it is his ideal of beautiful. It tally to lyrics and his life as producer and songwriter (PS : Black hair woozi majestic af)

Also I noticed that they Woozi 2 items, paintbrush and camera. Both are art producing tools, does it signifies Woozi capable to play instrument, songwriting and dance and sing? I think so.

Joshua being caved in a room. And Joshua have band aid on his face with small flower stick to his cheek. I have 2 ideas on this.

1. Hoshi’s lyrics “Wound will heal and bud will grow”

2. If the MV is an AU of SVT, Joshua’s appearance might considered an mutant and then he locked himself away. Noticed how the room was all pieces that got shattered, he must have broken them to express his anger. To elaborate further, Joshua is the one of the foreigner in the group his culture is definitely different, who knows it tally to him struggling to fit in and worrying about if he is the weird one. In short, self doubt making oneself ignoring own beauty wtihhin (Chinaline are foreigner too but I am talking about East and West Culture)

Seungcheol one was *deep breath. Idk I resonated alot. I do know this MV was filmed before he took rest from his activities, but him with white cloths surrounding and covering him from surroundings symbolise his hardships as a leader so much to me. It’s kinda like packaging up yourself so that others does not see the fragile side or yours. Just because being fragile/ having mental illness/ being weak is not mainstream enough. Also SeungCheol with his lines tally to SVT enduring trainee hardships so that they could debut and meet us Carats.

DK’s scene. I am not sure about this, but notice he is standing at center and globes are circulating around him. I hope I am wrong it signifies loneliness alot to me. Yes i do have friends or people around me but they dont really understand me and does not see me through aka does not really see the beauty. Or what if the globe are not friends, rather than those online backlashing and evil commenting people?

Also DK scene seems to be the same set as Dino’s. what if globe are the hyungs? lmao. BUT in Dino’s scene we did not see globe

Or if we wanna bring it deeper SVT, DK = SVT = idol and the globe orbiting are normal civilians/netizen.

Vernon’s scene somewhat reminds me of Thanks MV when they are in a room doing makeup lol. Maybe its the color scheme. Notice that Vernon also have flower growing from his hand. Tally to Vernon’s Korean-American blood in him. So for now English speaking line have flower growing from their body parts. ALSO THEIR ROOMS ARE CONNECTED!!!! (Camera work or editing but omg)

Jun scene again i will express it during the wonhui scene. But to mention a bit, I am sure Jun = flower at this point. welp he is beauty he is grace XD.

Jeonghan being the angel chained was ommfph!!! I cannot wait for From of Therapy to react to this lol. I am think Jeonghan’s role in here is truly a fallen angel with his wings got vanished for some reason or whatever. So Angel without wings, still beautiful mainstreamly? Not quite. But still beautiful.

Mingyu on a plank with flowers around him. He is visual of the group after all do we need more elaboration?? lmao. But notice that the plank have noting to support on, its floating. So to me it kinda felt like South korea boy band industry rapid growth and such. His good looks of course is not going to stay or being talked as a topic forever. Visuals are not necessarily everything. OF course I am overeading on this but discussion are welcome.

Seungkwan scene, omg I cannot believe how simple yet beautiful it is. The message that I resonated was simple. As Seungkwan went through diet and exercise and health control with vitamins, I think he is admiring and has his own ideals of “beautiful”. He is holding the flowers dearly and also tightly, signifies his stubborn and dedication to be like the “beautiful= flower”

Ah mirror/reflecting glass, this is why I felt it is an aftermath of Fear MV. From Fear lyrics of fearing what I am, to embracing own beauty as flaw makes a part of it too. But the mirror thingy then turns to things for them to step. So, stepping your ownself/accepting your own self? i guess??

Mingyu having a flower shower is soft but rude af, also title callback

ALAS THE WONHUI MOMENT. So I mentioned Jun = falling flower/petals of sakura or other , so in my opinion Wonwoo = soil/ground. Notice that Wonwoo in earlier scene is holding to some dusts. For me it symbolise sakura/petals rot and turns to dust while the ground could only watch it fades away. Hence the whole Wonwoo’s angst acting on earlier scenes but when he saw Jun his expression got gentler. It is kinda like an annual rendezvous thing, “Hi! its been a year~!” “I told you I will be back again *smiles”

That is why i felt it is a lowkey Wonhui fic, well played.

Them boys all gathering as one symbolise they got out of their shell (their respective scene = shell) and embrace beauty, making a LARGER PICTURE OF BEAUTIFUL. yes I am implying SVT = BEAUTY here.

In short our boys are all beautiful entities, and thank you destiny making them gathered together to be as one group.

I hope I did not miss anything, but if I do, its open for discuss.

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elamikaaa · 4 years

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Plot Twist

Now, I haven’t had any professional vocal lessons at all for the eighteen years I have lived, but since I started singing at the tender age of four, I think it’s safe to say that I’m somewhat a singer. I lack a lot in technique, sure, but I think I sound somewhat decent, at least.

As a singer, it is best that you really pour out the emotions that the song is trying to convey. It is as if you are the messenger trying to communicate an intricately crafted message to whoever is listening to you. Every word in every verse, hook, chorus or bridge, every single chord progression, every single note, pause, the speeding up and the slowing pace of the beat, the transpositions... every single component of a song was carefully put in there to construct an overall message that you as a singer have to relay. So, it is very important that you really mean what you sing for you to do so. Knowing whatever the song is trying to express alone simply is not enough for a singer to capture the essence of a song. The moment you are unable to feel, the more you’ll deviate from whatever the song is trying to convey. This, in my honest opinion, is what makes someone fail as a singer, or as an artist in general. After all, all modes of art are forms of expression.

One of my favourite artists, NIKI, released her first album, Moonchild, 3 days ago. Me being the fan that I am, I checked it out on SoundCloud as soon as I could. I listened for every single track in order (except for the songs that she already released prior, such as Switchblade, Selene and Lose). I have not finished listening to the whole album yet — I haven’t listened to Drive On — because there’s this one song in the album that really caught my attention: Plot Twist.

Plot Twist really encapsulates the unexpected blossoming of a newfound love. The moment I hit play on SoundCloud, my eardrums were smacked lovingly with what sounded like utopia in its melodic form. Maybe it is because of my current predicament, but this song, from the lyrics to the dreamy instrumentals, perfectly epitomised how someone can either enter as, or develop into, a pleasant surprise in another’s life. Honestly, this song really hit home. As soon as I listened to it, I thought of one person and I can think of only them whenever this song comes to mind.

I could go on a whole analysis and a breakdown of key parts of the song but honestly, the lyrics are self-explanatory. There is really nothing for me to elaborate on. All I really can say is that it is the first verse that makes me think of him the most. when I was really contemplating ‘closing the book’, there he was, ‘in every nook’, making me want to continue reading to see if the ending will be different this time around. I had just gone through the biggest heartbreak I had experienced with my best-friend who I had a crush on for two years, and he was among the many who supported me through it all. Little did I know that he’d be my next heartbreak... oh well.

Not every single part of the song is representative of what once was between us, if I can even call it that, anyway. It was not 'always gonna be [him] and I’, nor did I really think that something was ever really going to come into fruition. He felt like a ‘brand new arc’ but not exactly one that I ‘never knew’ the outcome of. He was definitely different, but in a way, he’s similar because he, like the others, was also a very good friend who never got to fully reciprocate my feelings (I know, looks like I have a preference for best-friends, huh). To add onto that, he ended up moving on very quickly with someone else after many months of us developing a relationship together — not necessarily a romantic one, but just a strong bond. It is okay that he did not reciprocate. That is not what I have an issue with. It is how he moved on to her straight away, but I will not go into detail about that here. That has been the topic of every single other piece I have ever written, so I think I have harped about that enough.

Anyway, it was very painful, and although I am grateful for the lessons my experience with him has taught and revisited, I am not exactly thankful for ‘plot twists’ like him. Despite the euphoria he made me feel, which the song captured, I feel more regret about him than anything, really.

I love singing NIKI’s songs; more specifically, her more melancholic songs: Lose, Around, and my all-time favourite, La La Lost You. I feel more of a connection to these songs because, well, they are all about heartbreak. One perk of being extremely sensitive is that I can sing these sad love songs just fine simply because I can really feel it all. I can feel the resignation in the ending of Lose when she sings, “I don’t need a reason to keep on dreaming, that I can win this stupid thing called love.” In Around, when she sings, “I miss you though you’re cold,” I immediately think of the day he ignored my messages and started talking to me in an uncharacteristically stern manner. Though I was anxious, I still missed him very much and wanted to talk to him even if every single inch of my body screamed at me that he did not want me around anymore. La La Lost You, from how I am perceiving it, shows a person’s divergence from someone they loved dearly. “Hope New York holds you, hope it holds you like I do” in the second verse of the chorus is the line that made me cry the hardest when I first listened to it, because it very much resembled how much I love him and how much I’ll always love him despite how terrible our ending was. Even after everything, even if it were justified for me to be petty and upset, I could not; I can only wish the best for him. I really meant it when I concluded my final texts to him at the time with, ‘Hope you’re doing well’ and ‘Wish you all the best’, or something along the lines of those — I don’t have the best memory so I can’t give an exact recall, but you get the gist. In saying this, I hope whoever is reading this knows the distinction between having love for someone and being in love with someone. I am not in love with him anymore, just to clarify. However, he still does have a spot in my heart, and I will forever wish him all the best. I will be here for him, should he need me and if I am able to be there for him. He called me a couple of months ago and talked so we are in better terms now. Not as close as we once were (I think that is the best measure to take, to be honest), but better terms, nonetheless. I must admit, there are some things I still want to ask and get clarity for, but I do not think I’ll get the chance anytime soon, so I’ll leave it be.

Point is, only NIKI’s melancholic melodies have hit me to the point where I can execute their messages adequately enough when I sing. To add to that, I just love singing her songs in general anyways, they are quite close to my vocal range.

Listening to Plot Twist, however, struck a different chord in me. As much as I love the song, and as much as I relate to many parts of it, I do not think I can ever sing this song. In the grand scheme of things, that is okay. There are many more tunes of solemnity that I can sing instead. But Plot Twist was very bittersweet. Probably the most bittersweet song I have ever listened to. I know it is only bittersweet because of what I associate the song with, but still… damn. NIKI really got me good with this one.

Sometimes I cannot help but wonder if I would be able to really relate to this song in another life. Not in the bittersweet way that I do right now, but in a way that I am only reminded of a serendipitous encounter. Should I love again in this life (I know I sound naïve but really, please get love away from me thank you) then this song is for them since now, I really am ‘closing the book’. But should anyone draw my attention enough to make me ‘stay and wait’ and give me the happy ending I have never had, then I can finally say that I can feel this song in its entirety. Only then can I sing this song and narrate its beautiful story.

In this life, however, I will just have to stick to humming along to the lyrics on SoundCloud behind closed doors.

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mspa-music-analysis · 4 years

Text

Beyond Canon - exclusion zone

alright first song in the Beyond Canon album, exclusion zone. lets break it up.

PERSONAL THOUGHTS/LISTENING EXPERIENCE

I got literal fucking shivers. Holy shit. Holy shit. The first twenty seconds of this song is it’s own fucking experience. When the vocals come in at 00:46 I feel as though I am standing on a craggy cliff face, maybe on a mountain, the sky is grey, there’s mist and magic in the air, and I should be dreading something. I feel like taking a deep breath and preparing to see an army coming up over the adjacent hill. I feel like I’m about to go up against something huge.

When I first clicked on the new Homestuck album in disbelief, double checking the release date, I wasn’t expecting much. Sure Homestuck music is utterly wonderful, but I’ve never been able to listen to instrumentals very well, they don’t capture my attention without lyrics to focus on. but hearing the first few notes of this song. Holy. Fucking. Shit. I am not the same man. Oh my god. This first minute is what got me to listen to this entire album in one sitting.

At 1:00 you hear a muffled voice and the sound of breaking glass, and it feels like the illusion of nature and magic and dread shatters. A robotic voice chimes in ‘you just made a monster’ and you get it, for just a second. You feel like something terrible has happened and you have no idea how the fuck you’re going to pick up the pieces. This song sets the stage for the album, and it makes anticipation thrum through your bones, especially on the first listen.

The latter half of the song is letting this feeling sink in, letting your anticipation, your excitement, your dread, grow into a magnificent beast. As the last bit cycles you feel your heartbeat quicken, your breath catch, and you just have to sit there for a second. Holy shit. This song feels like saying ‘holy shit’ in reverence. Over and over again.

The ending feels like you have no idea what the fuck you’re getting into. All you can do is click onto the next song.

INSTRUMENTAL/VOCAL ANALYSIS

I’m no musical expert, but I’m going to try to explain this as well as I can. Music snobs, sorry, experts, please remember I am but a humble fool who has never taken a music class beyond fifth grade. An amateur if you will.

I’m going to be using the word synth so fucking much in these, aren’t I. I’m torn between some sort of string, a synth, or an organ playing the opening notes, and I’m fairly sure it’s the synth. Homestuck music wouldn’t be Homestuck music for not the synth.

The synth, as I am going to call it despite how unsure I am that it is one, immediately gives you an overwhelming cathedral feeling. You get a little while to marinate in this feeling before the vocals chime in. The vocals and the synth meld so beautifully into each other, they feel so natural coming together. There’s a moment where you say ‘yay! vocals in a Homestuck song!’ which will later seem oh so ironic.

Then, in a change of tone, a muffled, hard to understand, male-sounding voice pops in. It sounds like a frantic report, breaking news, or a call for backup. It could sound to some like officials chasing dangerous dissenters, and to others a discreet warning to fellow rebels that the brass are coming. I tried so fucking hard to get an audio editing program to pick this shit apart, but I have a Chromebook for some godforsaken reason. Sorry, folks, we’ll have to see if anyone replies to my tweet with our answers. For reasons, which are definitely real actual reasons with no attachment to aesthetics, I am going to call this voice ‘the radio’.

Directly after the infuriating piece of walky-talky Esq vocals, there’s a sound of breaking glass. I think perhaps that is my favorite moment in the entire track, if not the entire album. Not to assign too much meaning to a singular bit of sound, but it feels like every expectation I had for Homestuck music was completely shattered. Like the glass ceiling that prevented Homestuck music from becoming legendary because it was just a shitty web-comic (which was already untrue) is broken through with just the first half of this song. Does that make sense? In short, this album really is on an entire other level of music entirely, and it knows it. This is possibly supported by the album cover, which is Ultimate Dirk sitting in a pile of previous Homestuck album covers. Must I explain this one? (I will if you ask, really. I’m perhaps a bit too eager, in fact.)

Directly after the glass shatters, more instruments join in. I think these are also synths? It sounds techy, it sounds dystopian. You know when people say techno is just beeps and boops? Yeah, there’s a lot of beeps and boops in this, and frankly, I love it. Then, another distorted, techy, mechanical, feminine?, voice pops in saying ‘you just made a monster’. I’m going to call this voice the monster, but not necessarily because I think they are the monster, and I will elaborate on this later. This is my second favorite moment in the track. It’s just. Wow. Breathtaking. The monster repeats for a while, the rest of the song. The third time, an almost more human sounding, but not by much, monster joins in. There’s an air of indignance, of anger, desperation, vengeance. It sounds like there’s another phrase buried under some sounds there, at 1:28? I absolutely can not make it out for the life of me, and it is driving me crazy.

The monster is chopped up and distributed evenly throughout the rest of the song, quite fucking marvelously. At 1:39 there’s a pause in the instrumental, and for just a second, you’re left with this steady note sung by the monster. It’s haunting. I didn’t notice it my first few listen throughs, but now that I’ve been sitting here looping the track, I can’t help but hear it. It definitely gives me a feeling, but I haven’t decided what that feeling is yet.

The sound bits that sound like a broken robot, or another voice saying ‘anoyie’ over and over, are quite possibly going to drive me insane. I find myself desperately needing to hear where the fuck these audio bytes came from. I need to hear the originals. I do not care if they are random mouth noises. My curiosity is insatiable. I am fairly sure it is just the monster cut to hell, but there’s just something nagging at me saying otherwise. I don’t know, perhaps I’m finally going insane from looping the robot song for two hours.

I don’t love the ending? There’s one last monster repeat, a sort of clapping sound (an interesting change of pace), silence for half a second, more of that damned ‘anoyie’ and I am further convinced it is not the monster, and then nothing. It isn’t quite unsatisfying, but it isn’t satisfying either. It is most certainly an ending. I can say for a fact there are instruments in the ending. And that’s all I have to say on that.

HERE’S WHERE SHIT GETS CRAZY

Alright, time to sound like a madman. Here is where I am going to assign arbitrary Homestuck-related, possibly plot-related, meaning. Take all of this with a grain of salt and forgive my overuse of phrases like ‘I feel’ and ‘I think’.

So, putting the song in the context of the album title ‘Beyond Canon’, and therefore most likely The Epilogues and Homestuck^2, I do indeed have a few theories. Not all make a whole lot of sense, and a few are based quite heavily on ‘feelings’ and ‘vibes’. I hated putting vibes in quotes, never make me do that again. To start with, the beginning, before the radio, reminds me very much of Ultimate Dirk (Ult. Dirk), Terezi, and RoseBot on that new planet. Perhaps because of the air of desolation, not in relation to the note, and foreboding? Perhaps because I have assigned an air of forced serenity to this part, and I very much feel like Ult. Dirk is trying to force serenity onto his section of the narrative, despite what’s coming his way? Hm. Much to think about.

The radio, I cannot puzzle out exactly. DaveBot, perhaps? Trying to break through from the Candy universe and coming out muffled? I don’t have much to go on, and I am waiting until I have figured out exactly what the radio is actually saying.

The glass shattering. Oh, the glass shattering. Fenestrated plane, anyone? The fourth wall, anyone? Good god, shattered glass + Homestuck = SHIT IS GOING DOWN. This makes me very excited. It could just be metaphorical, as I was saying before, but I very much have a feeling that things are going to get that particular brand of very Homestuck fucked soon. And I am oh so excited.

The monster! Oh, how I love the monster. There’s so many things I can see the monster being, as well as referencing. Lets get right the fuck into it. First! The Auto Responder, or Lil’ Hal. You know how every splinter and alternate self combines to create the Ultimate Self? (I have so many theories about this, oh my god, I might make an entire other blog for more Homestuck analysis) Well, what if it isn’t a perfect meld? Dirk is a Prince, after all, a destroyer. There’s no way, however Ultimate he may be, he’s perfect and whole. What if specific splinters find their way to shine through? Like, for instance, Hal accusing Dirk of making a monster out of all his iterations. I know, it’s far fetched, and I took quite a few liberal steps to get there. But just perhaps.

A not so wild theory is an obvious one, I think. The monster is Rosebot. It’s vaguely feminine, robot-y, and references a recent creation. Rose’s consciousness breaking through Dirk’s command? Seems likely to me.

A third! Perhaps it’s DaveBot? It seems less likely than the RoseBot theory, due simply to the femininity of the voice, but at the same time it seems like DaveBot would be more likely to fight Dirk’s control of his personal narrative, if only because we haven’t seen his robot form be entirely complicit yet. Either way, I doubt this one. I just want it on the record in case I’m right. *wink*. (I refuse to use a winky face in a semi-serious analysis, it just feels wrong.)

And this one isn’t really a theory, but I keep coming back to it. Is anyone else reminded of AradiaBot? Especially that second of the monster just singing with no instrumental. I can give no explanation except for a feeling. I wasn’t going to include this, but, well, trust your gut or something. Maybe she’ll come back and my random thought will be justified.

Now, do I think this will be used in Homestuck^2 as a flash at some point. Short answer: I don’t know. Long and less shitty answer: I feel as though it could go either way! I can’t really see a song with vocals like this getting a flash, if only because it’s very straightforward and I don’t know if you can jam a whole lot of plot into this song, unlike some of the others. That said, it would be just like Homestuck to completely blow away my expectations and jam the entire ending into it. Hey, Homestuck? Please don’t do that. I love Act 7, I really do, but also just please don’t. Ever again, thank you.

Maybe Meat Kanaya will liberate RoseBot from Ult. Dirk’s control and this song will play as she beats the shit out of him. I would like that, I think.

CONCLUSIONS

Personal Rating: Holy Shit

Objective Musical Rating: Robots Have Never Sounded So Vengeful And I Love It

Plot-Relevance Rating: It’s Possible But The Outlook Isn’t Good, Chief

Would It Stand On Its Own?: Fuck Yes It Would. I Sang This When I Came Out Of The Womb.

did u nut tho: yuh

#homestuck #beyond canon #dirk strider #alaysis #413 #exclusion zone #epilogues #homestuck epologue #homestuck2 #rosebot #davebot #hal #lil hal #uh fuck tags bro i hate tagging #kanaya #should i tag aradia #yeah fuck it #aradia #aradiabot

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