#ih and internalized transphobia has an unusually strong grip on me the past few days I’ll be normal soon

[aemiron-main]

me 🤝 mike

trying to make ourselves like girls

#ih and internalized transphobia has an unusually strong grip on me the past few days I’ll be normal soon #anyway working on my current analysis…. the butterfly imagery around Mike makes me INSANE #the duffers really said ‘we are going to show that Mike is trying to make himself like girls & that other people are trying to make him like #girls by paralleling it to some stuff in one of the most horrifying ways possible’ like they rlly. did that #cannot wait to elaborate on this in the analysis because……. now that I Know what the butterflies mean for Mike…… head in hands #LIKE THE DUFFERS JUST COULDNT HAVE DONE IT ANY OTHER WAY HUH??? like it makes sense and it’s lowkey brilliant but. Jesus Christ that’s dark #I’ll explain the full thing in the analysis so this probably doesn’t make sense without the contex but just like. damn #like yes 99% of the time I love being gay but also…. we rlly do live in society…. and then medical transitioning is stressful #like I’m doing it but like. time. money. fear of surgery yk #don’t mind me ranting but like. the ‘trying to make urself’ like girls thing with Mike hits me like a brick every time bc while I Know #lesbians do Not have it easy & im not saying they do but growing up I knew that with where I lived etc while being a lesbian would’ve been #looked down on compared to being straight it wouldn’t have been seen as nearly as ‘bad’ as being trans yk #like that’s just the case for my circumstances and just. even trying to force myself to be bi and feeling like I Had to be into girls bc no #guy would ever take me seriously as a guy and that dudes were supposed to be into girls and if I wasn’t then I was just actually a straight #woman/not queer at all and just. a whole fucking mess like seriously I spent so long Trying to be into girls both as a girl and as a guy