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dejwrld · 5 months

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summary — international rockstar choso kamo is in love with the international popstar, y/n.

warning readers discretion is advised ⸻ female reader, female anatomy described, written with black reader in mind, mentions of descriptors of black reader (complexion, hair texture, culture), open to be read by all readers, profanity, angst, lovers to exes, told in third pov Chosoi's pov), mentions of drug and alcohol usage, opposite attracts trope, riding/cowgirl position, brief mention of oral (m.receiving), famous au, modern au, he falls harder trope, praise kink, rockstar choso x popstar!reader one shot

sticky note from deja — this was originally another character plot, but urgh i just think about rockstar choso a lot! well i think about choso a lot period. so here's a sweet treat to the choso gaggers.

He liked her more than he had expected. He never was the one to be in a committed relationship—didn't quite go with the rockstar image as an artist, nor did it sell to the public. He thought it was better to sell into the stereotype that rock stars do hardcore drugs, can't remember their flings' names, and show up late to their sound checks for concerts. But here he was, staring at her as she peacefully slept on his chest as if she belonged there.

Well, she did. She was different from the people he pursued romantically who entered his life and exited quickly when they realized they couldn't keep up with his lifestyle. She could handle the throat-cutting hate from fans because she had rabid fans. She could take the intrusive questions from music journalists because she had one of the world's best PR and media training teams.

He didn't want to admit that he was falling in love with her.

But, here, Choso was itching to smoke a morning cigarette but too afraid to wake her because she had a late recording session.

And don't get him started on the reckless shit he did while she was locked up in the studio last night.

"Good morning," Her voice comes off like a whisper as if they were in a library with strict talking rules. She's placing tired kisses on Choso’s chest with a smile.

"Mornin'," Choso mumbles back, his arms resting behind his head. His brown-colored eyes met her gaze when he felt her hand rubbing his thighs. "Don't you have to be at the studio in a couple of hours?" His right eyebrow, embedded with a piercing, raised at her.

She chuckled, letting her hand rub against his cock that had hardened in the wake of morning wood. Betraying him entirely as he's inhaling sharply at her actions.

"I just need two hours with you," She responds. "And maybe one to get ready." She adds before smiling. Her eyes glistened with lust, and Choso couldn't deny that look.

"Help yourself." He responds, getting even more comfortable in his king-sized bed. His hands still rest behind his head because he wouldn't have cared for her to use him as she pleased.

With a pleased smile, she leaned closer to peck his lips before leaving a trail of kisses on his bare chest and traveling downward to disappear under the gray-colored duvet that covered them both.

Choso was waiting for her to notice the impulse thing he did yesterday. Quite afraid of her reaction because maybe he had gone a bit overboard. He wasn't sure she loved him as much as he loved her.

Choso!" She climbs back from under the blanket and quickly tugs it off the two of them. "What the fuck is this?" Her acrylic tapered square-shaped nails trace alongside his waist, and that simple movement causes his pale skin to garnish with goosebumps.

"Surprise cupcake." He gives her a cheeky grin.

"Surprise my ass!"

Just above his waist, stopping right where his white-haired happy trail ended, was her name in old English font.

Y/N.

He couldn't read her facial expressions. Her perfectly shaped eyebrows furrow together in confusion, but her mouth held back a snicker. Y/N's fingers traced alongside the tattoo's outline that imprinted Choso's skin.

"I can't believe you did this insane shit." She stares at Choso and then at the tattoo before giggling. "You're so insane, but I love you for that."

Choso didn't think she knew what she had just said because before he could respond, she was kissing the tattoo so delicately that it caused Choso’s toes to curl in anticipation. Her tongue traces the outline of each lettering on his skin, and Choso could feel the precum on his tip immediately stain his Calvin Klein boxers.

"Fuck!" He breathed out, letting his head sink into the back of his hands resting behind his head.

His boxers were removed, and soon, his body relaxed under the feeling of her tongue licking at the precum on his tip as if it were a sweet delight. He peeks through his long eyelashes at the way her tongue glides up and down his thick shaft before engulfing his cock in her mouth without a care. The sound of Y/N gagging on his cock followed by the sight of saliva pooling out her mouth caused Choso’s skin to heat up instantly. He removed one hand from the back of his head to palm at the top of her head. His fingers fiddle with the silk scarf that protects her hair for the night while he guides her head up and down his hardened cock like a sports ball on a court.

His dark eyes opened and were met with Y/N’s, whose hands flickered up and down his cock before briefly letting the pad of her thumb rub at his plump pink-shaded tip, smearing the precum and saliva that coated it. It drove Choso mad at the way she looked at him. It was as if he was the best thing since sliced bread when, in reality, Choso was just some musician who, on some days, couldn’t even keep his eyes open as he was in the studio high on whatever drug he consumed that morning.

She released his cock with a pop before she removed the remaining amount of clothes. First, it was the yellow-colored Calvin Klein cheeky underwear—she was a brand ambassador for them (of course, he knew that). Then, it was the oversized t-shirt that belonged to him that she managed to look better in. Her brown skin glistened in the sunlight that shone through the high-rise windows in Choso’s penthouse. The warmth of her thighs on his side from straddling his lip caused Choso to smile. His eyebrows raised in curiosity at what was her next move. When he said, help yourself—he didn’t expect her to want to ride him.

His body tensed up at the feeling of her cunt sinking further down on his cock. His body instantly reacted immediately because that was just the charm Y/N had on him. The littlest things could have had his cock twitching in whatever pair of sweatpants he wore. His fingers clutched at her waist while he guided her hips at a pace that was wonderful for both of them to enjoy. Such a little thing like this made Choso realize even more why that insane impulse idea he did the previous night was even more justified. He was in love. He showed it when they had sex. From his last relationships and embarrassing one-night stands that led to signed NDAs, he didn’t care to use them for a quick nut and go on about his business. But with her, with Y/N, he made love to her as if, just in the blink of an eye, she wouldn’t be here anymore. He ate her out as if it was the last thing he had eaten in fuckin’ centuries. He wanted all of her when he had a vision to please her when they had sex.

“Look at you,” Choso’s voice is a sweet, teasing tune, similar to his most recent single. His fingers trace the outline of her stretch marks that connect from her thighs to her love handles. “Helpin’ yourself. Need help?” He chuckles.

Quickly, he’s thrusting his hips upward to meet Y/N’s sudden bounce. He felt her nails piercing his bare chest, bracing herself for his abrupt thrusting. Her plump, kiss-swollen lips gasped apart to let out a moan that caused Choso to feel feral. He wanted to flip her over—have his fuckin’ way with her. Fuck her into the mattress to show to her that she was his and only his. It was the only way—but no, Choso had to let her do her. Let her fuck him how she pleases.

So the grasp he had on her waist loosened. His thrusts that met with her bouncing abruptly stopped, and he relaxed under her weight. The only thing the rockstar could do was glance up at her completely lovestruck—completely pussy drunk.

“Thought you were helping me, hm?” She questions in between raspy whimpers that make Choso’s cock harder.

“You’re a big girl, and you got it covered.” He spat back.

She couldn’t even respond to his words because she got lost in the pleasure of his cock kissing at that spot, which caused her to feel like she was on the fluffiest cloud. Her hips rocked backward and forwards. The headboard clashed against the wall, and Choso thanked every God that the property next to his was empty. He did not have the energy or time to deal with noise complaints. Especially given Y/N’s moans that only grew louder as she bounced on his cock as if it was the most critical task. He was trying so hard not to grab upon her, slam her harder on his cock—milk her out until she creamed on him. But no, he told her to help herself.

“That’s my girl.” His brown eyes met hers when those words of praise fluttered off his lips.

If Choso could look close enough, he could see a sparkle in her eyes, and her pussy clench around his cock.

“You’re doing well, Y/N. Is that what you want to hear?” He teasingly questioned. “You look so fucking beautiful riding me.” He adds, but this time—he no longer could control his impulse to feel upon his girlfriend.

He ached for her touch.

His hand finally found the place on her waist to help bob her upon his cock. His face flushed and was so hot— Choso knew that when his face got as red as the bottom of Y/N’s favorite red bottoms, he was about to cum. He felt his balls grow heavier with each pounce of Y/N, and the only thing he could utter was her name as if it was a lyric in one of his songs charting on the Billboard 100.

“Fuck, I’m about to—” His words were cut off by Y/N.

“Me too, baby.” She huffs, rocking her hips fast to reach her pleasure wave. “Just tell me one thing, baby. Please.” She coos, and Choso can only nod.

Whatever she wanted, she could have. Whatever she needed, she could get. Choso would give her the whole world plus some with how she rode him.

“Tell me you love me.”

“Fuck, Y/N. You know I love you. I wouldn’t get your name tattooed on me.” Choso breathed out.

“But I want you to say it when you cum,” She moans out. “So you have it imprinted on that silly brain of yours who makes you feel like that.”

Choso glanced into her eyes and realized she was serious about this. He was yanking her down so that her chest was on his and thrusting his hips upward, embracing her in a heated kiss that made him feel intoxicated. He was so intoxicated that he was questioning whether he should pull out now. Her teeth nibble at his lower lip just in time for them to come together. The feeling of her cunt pulsing around his cock drove the rockstar insane. When he pulled back from the kiss, his sweat-covered forward pressed against hers as he thrusts a couple more times, ensuring every droplet of his cum stayed inside her.

“I love you, Y/N.”

#choso kamo smut #choso kamo x reader #jjk smut #jjk x reader #female reader #black reader #jjk x black reader #choso smut #choso kamo x black reader #angelshubnetwork #⊹˳⁺ ♡ 𝒻𝒶𝓃𝒻𝒾𝒸𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝒸𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃𝓈

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hero-israel · 4 months

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I think there needs to be a reckoning about how so many white (passing) American secular/nonpracticing antiZionist Jews can say "Not in my name, Israel doesn't speak for us!" and then think they can speak for Israel. How so many of them can have a limited familial connection to Israel, have such a disdain for Israelis, Israeli culture and society, and Israel as a concept, and then have the gall to act like their opinions matter?

I see their attitudes be described as fear, but to me it strikes me as more than just fear. A lot of them, I suspect, have incorporated antiZionism as a fundamental part of their Jewish identity. It's not just a disagreement, they're not just saving face. Take away the Goyim and talk to them privately and they still believe what they believe, and express it in the same way. They hate Israeli Jews.

And Israel is only going to become less Ashkenazi (aka less "white") as time marches forward. The bad faith hysterical Israel bashing and condescension is only going to look more and more like Orientalism, and frankly, racism.

I think it's very possible that calling something antisemitic can't just be a catchall term when this chicken comes home to roost. I think if there aren't already, there will be distinct forms of antisemitism, some that only Diaspora Jews face and some that only Israeli Jews face. And if this is true or will end up being true, it's pretty important that we not speak over each other's experiences. To do that we have to recognize these experiences and respect them. Do some Israeli Jews disrespect the Diaspora experience? Yes, from what I've seen. Is it nearly as vitriolic and is it growing nearly as quickly as the disrespect for the Israeli experience among antiZionist American Jews? Not even close.

All this divisive language to say: sometimes when Israelis say "so and so is antisemitic!" in the context of antiZionism, they're talking about themselves, their experiences, the stakes for them, and not Americans. So maybe we should all learn to stay in our lanes sometimes.

A lot of Israeli Jews disrespect, or at least are unable to grasp, diaspora existence, particularly when it comes to Americans. I can't even count the number of times I read Israelis say "Why are you American Jews so upset about Trump? Don't you see how good he's been for Israel?" Which is the worst damn argument a person could possibly use - it feeds into both left-wing and right-wing antisemitism, while ignoring that American Jews live HERE and are at risk from Trump's fascist cult and general lawlessness. And it is bad FOR EVERYBODY to have "pro-Israel" become the position of stroke-babbling grotesque racist criminals, and also for America to be too focused on anarchic decomposition and Yugoslav-style street warfare to be able to support Israel like it traditionally has.

And because turds of a feather flush together, Netanyahu wants ALAN DERSHOWITZ to be Israel's advocate if the ICJ case proceeds. I knew Netanyahu was a senile failure undermining all the strengths he had ever built for the country and this is just the shit cherry on top of the shit sundae. Alan Dershowitz is the ultimate stereotype of a Boomer who was kind of useful in the 1980s-90s and became awful and embarrassing now, Trump is surrounded by them (i.e. Rudy Giuliani). Your grandma in Florida remembers Alan Dershowitz for writing "Chutzpah" and being tough and quick-witted, and everybody under 40 knows Dershowitz as a Trump cultist and Epstein fuckbuddy. Big "Vladek Spiegelman can only compare his artist son to Walt Disney" energy. There are surely thousands of lawyers better-suited for the role, just off the top of my head I'd prefer Eugene Kontorovich and so should anyone who is more aware of the world as it actually is than how it was in 1994.

I say all that to parallel your original point, not to contradict it. Yes, the American Jews who performatively loathe Israel are by and large just an Extremely Online phenomenon of the most college-town bubble-protected, least observant, least affiliated, and least aware of non-Ashkenazim. It is not so hard for American Ashkenazim to stay protected from antisemitism as long as they totally unplug from their Jewish identity and any public-facing aspects of it. Can't be killed in a synagogue or JCC or kosher store if you never go in, head tap.

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warmaidensrevenge · 3 months

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It's not a never.

Pairing: Eddie x best friend!Fem reader

A/N: Hey loves. Hope you all had a great week. Tonight's fic is part one of two. I hope all you like it. As always thanks for reading. Kay love ya byyyye.

I do not give permission for my work to be posted anywhere else. Please respect all creators. Also, all pictures and songs are from a Google search and found on Spotify. A credit to original posters and artists. Thank you for your work.

Word count: 3,045

Warnings: 18+ No minors please. Language, angst, sexual implications and not proof read.

Summary: New feelings? Yeah Eddie's got it bad.

Part 1

Eddie looked around the cafeteria table at his friends. “ Uhhhh you're joking…you gotta be joking…pfff that's hilarious.”

Everyone sat there in silence.

“ Guys? Seriously?! No way! No fuckin way!” He said, putting his hands up. “ Nope!”

He locked eyes with you and raised his brows. “ Common, you agree with me right?”

You averted your gaze to your lunch and shrugged.

He looked at the imbecile that brought up the subject in the first place. “ You turned her against me!”

Gareth scoffed. “ Dude no. All I'm trying to say is that prom is like a highschool right of passage. I don't know about you, but I don't want to miss out.”

Eddie tuts and narrowed his eyes at him. “ Miss out on what exactly? Penguin suits?”

You answered his question. “ You guys don't have to wear tuxedos. You can wear all black. Like always.”

He shot you a look and you smiled at him.

He rolled his eyes. “ Okay how about shitty music?”

You answered again. “ They're bound to play something good.”

He gave snake eyes now to you and you stuck your tongue at him.

“ Okay how about all of us are broke and we can't afford a limo?”

You opened your mouth to respond but he pressed his lips and widened his eyes at you.

Grant cleared his throat. “ Ehem. Well, you do have a van.”

Eddie licked his lips and looked at his lunch box. “ You guys are nuts. I'm admitting you all to Arkham…I-I can't believe you're trying to convince me to go to prom…Where the hell am I gonna find a date?”

“ Eddie, we're going together as a group. No dates.”

He looked up at you and you gave him a pout. God he hated when you did that. He could never say no when you put your lip out like that.

“Do you even own any dresses?” He asked sarcastically.

When you beamed at him, he gave you a defeated look. You'd convinced him.

You smirked.“ Oh you'd be surprised what I have in my closet.”

Eddie sat there and kept shaking his head while his friend talked about the plan for prom.

…

He couldn't believe it. Eddie absolutely could not believe he was doing this. He was driving to a damn dance. It was the last thing in the world he thought he would be doing. Yet here he was. Pulling up to the last stop before prom.

He lowered the music and parked in front of your house. He honked the horn and waited.

A minute passes and he sees your mom open the door. She then motioned for them to come in.

Eddie sighed when he saw her waving a camera. This was not a night he wanted to remember. Or there to be any evidence of it ever happening.

Everyone hopped out and walked to the house.

“ Oh my! You guys look sharp.” Victoria said, giving them each a hug.

Eddie grinned and gave her a warm embrace. “ Look who's talking. You look ravishing.”

Victoria playful slapped his chest. “ Oh you.”

“ Seriously Eddie? Dude, stop hitting on my mom.”

He turned his head to give you a smirk but instead his jaw nearly hit the floor.

There was only one word to describe how you looked coming into the foyer in your off the shoulders black satin dress.

Beautiful.

That word along with your name in the same sentence was not normal. Well other than him saying (That nat 20 was beautiful y/n.)

But now you are beautiful. Not that he thought you were ugly or something. It's just he never thought about that at all.

You were just one of the guys. A kid that liked to ride bikes and wrestle with boys. A kid that didn't care if you got dirty or cried when you scraped your knee.

You were one of his best friends and up until now, he never saw you as anything more.

“ Stop gawking dude.”

Your comment woke him up from his initial shock.

“ Ermmm. Y-you clean up alright kid.”

You rolled your eyes at him. “ Gee thanks. I appreciate that. You don't look awful yourself. I see you pulled out your funeral attire.”

He looked down at his black short sleeve button up and his uncle's black slacks. Along with his white Reeboks.

“ Well you did say-” he looked up and you turned around and went to say hi to everyone else.

You always did that. Whenever he was gearing up to argue, you would walk away. It always irritated the living fuck out of him. However, right now all he could do was smile to himself.

Before the group pictures you had gotten each of them a white rose to pin on their shirt. Eddie watched you smile happily as you and your mom put them on.

When it was his turn, his heart started to race. You were so close to him, he could smell your perfume. It was sweet and floral. Playful yet sexy. Something he could smell forever. He could just bury his nose in your neck and die happily.

He shook off the intruding thoughts and focused on your hands.

“ OUCH!” He hissed.

You pulled your hands away and looked up at him worriedly. He grinned and thought your forehead looked so cute when you pinched your brows together like that.

He grinned. “ Just kidding.”

You narrowed your eyes at him and mumbled under your breath. “ You dick.”

He chuckled and apologized.

…

You guys were sitting at a table near the exit in the gym. Talking amongst yourself. Eddie would have complained how they have been there for half an hour and the DJ has yet to play a passable song. Instead, he sat there wondering if he should ask you to dance. Would it be weird? No one else asked you yet. And he didn't think Gareth or Jeff would. Grant maybe. Because he liked all kinds of music and loved to dance. And he had a secret crush on you.

But Eddie had to beat him to the punch. He needed to know what it felt like to hold you close.

Just as his mind went haywire, he felt you tap his thigh and began spelling something out.

‘U- ok?’

He glanced at you and nodded. He always did like how you guys secretly communicated. He put his arm on the back of your chair and started writing on your back with his thumb.

‘Yeah- u?’

He kept his thumb pressed against your skin. Loving the warmth radiating from it and how smooth it was.

You wrote back. ‘Hungry.’

He looked down at your salad plate and it was empty. While cursing at himself for declining his salad that he should have given you, he searched around for more food.

He leaned in towards you when he found some. “I'll be right back.”

He got up and went for a plate when someone sat down in front of the one he was eyeing. He sighed and went on the hunt for another. It took a few minutes but eventually he was able to sneak one. When he came back he saw that you and everyone else at the table had a dinner plate already.

You grinned at him. “ I spoke too soon. But I'll totally eat that one too.”

He shook his head. “ I think all of us are gonna need 3 servings of this. With how much the tickets cost, they could at least give us more than an ice cream scoop of potatoes and a chicken wing.”

You agreed with him and offered to take them out for burgers after.

You guys were in the middle of eating when yours and his song came on. You immediately put down your fork and wiped the corners of your mouth.

“ Mhmmm. Okay! Let's go.” You said standing up. “ Let's do this.”

Everyone looked at each other and got up too. Except him.

“ Muuunnnnsooonn.” You sang out, walking backwards towards the dance floor. “ Common. This is our song dude. We have to.”

He chuckled while you pretended to cast out a line and start to reel him in.

He had no choice. He had to join and belt out the song with you.

What's goin on!”

While grabbing his hand, you started swaying with him and the others.

🎵

“ And so I wake in the morning and I step outside. And I take a deep breath and I get real high and I scream at the top of my lungs.

🎵

Eddie re-lived all the memories you and him had.

All the times he was bummed or sick. You would show up with food and sing that song. When you had a bad day at school or got anything less than a ‘A’ on an assignment, he would wrap his arms around you and rock you back and forth. Singing at the top of his lungs. Making you laugh like crazy.

He liked hearing you laugh. Especially when you laughed so hard that you would let out a small snort. He also liked how your fingers felt, scratching his head when he had a headache. The way you hummed What's Up? always made him feel better.

Even now, seeing you rock back and forth, singing your heart out. It made an alright night to one he'll never forget.

…

A couple weeks went by and Eddie couldn't get you out of his head. After prom, everything went back to normal. Except his feelings. You weren't that kid anymore. You weren't just one of his best friends.

In addition to being that, you were a girl who he wanted to hold. Maybe kiss and have sleepovers. Well, a different kind of sleepover than he was used to.

He tried so hard to avoid you as much as possible during those weeks. But he eventually missed you, so he gave into whatever was taken over his heart.

All the times he hugged you hello and goodbye would last a little longer. He became more affectionate than he'd ever been. Random tickling you when it wasn't weird. Just so he could touch you. Or he constantly had his arm around your shoulders whenever you were together.

He thought no one would notice since it was so close to graduation. But he was wrong. Apparently he was doing it so much that Gareth had to pull him aside and talk to him.

“ What the hell's going on man?”

Eddie's eyes went wide. The jig was up. “ Ermmm hmmm? What's up?”

Gareth crossed his arms and stood quiet. That's all he needed to do to get Eddie to talk. That and a stare down.

He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “ I…I don't know what happened…one minute she's who she's always been and the next, she's not.”

Gareth tilted his head to the side and remained silent.

Eddie clicked his tongue and shook his head. “ Look man, I don't know what I'm doing. All I know is that I feel different.”

Gareth straightened his head and raised his brows.

Eddie let out a long sigh. “ Fine! I like her. I like her, like her.”

Gareth smirked and put a hand on his shoulder. “ Welcome to the club.”

Eddie jerked his head back. “ What the hell does that mean?”

Gareth laughed. “ Dude! We all had a crush on her at some point. Remember when Jeff needed help with the spelling bee in the 6th grade?”

Eddie nodded.

“ Well she helped him for a whole 2 weeks. Jeff swore he loved her after that. And Grant…well you know he always liked her. But it really hit him when she decked Jenny for calling him fatso.”

Eddie was quiet for a second. “ W-what about you?”

Gareth put his hands in his pocket and gave him a thin lip smile. “Uhhhh…so I broke my arm once. Before you moved here…She helped me out a lot during that summer. She did my chores and helped cut up my food sometimes… You know, she was the only one who signed my cast.” He smiled. “ She's a great friend. She always has been. Honestly, I'm surprised it did happen to you sooner.”

Eddie licked his lips and put his hands in his back pockets. They had all liked you because you helped them out or defended their honor. But you hadn't done anything different with him. Besides you looking incredible at the dance, there was nothing that he could think of that made him like you like that.

“ S-so all of you guys still like her like that?”

Gareth shook his head. “ Nah man. I knew that it was just a crush. And Jeff, well Jeff's dating Connie. Grant…Grant still likes her. He even tried to kiss her.”

Eddie flexed his jaw. “ What?! When?!”

“ Prom.”

“ PROM?!”

“ DUDE!” Gareth hushed him up. “ Calm down. You left to get food and he tried. But she let him down gently. She said that she sees him as a brother. In fact, she sees all of us as family. And it would be weird if she dated any of us.”

Eddie's heart sank. Did you really think that about all of them or just the 3 stooges?

“ Look Munson, don't worry about it. It will go away.”

“ What-what if it doesn't?”

Gareth shrugged. “ Then talk to her. Maybe she can say something that will make you feel better about it.”

All of sudden Eddie felt hands on his hips.

“ Hey ladies! What are we gossiping about?”

He turned slightly to find you staring up at him. His heart fluttered seeing your amazing smile.

Gareth spoke up when Eddie couldn't answer.“ uhhhh nothing. Just talking about Mrs O'Donnells final.”

You huffed and grabbed his hand. Pulling it over your shoulders. Lacing your fingers with his.

What did that mean? It was weird right? You and him were close. But now that he had feelings for you, everything you did seemed intimate.

“ Don't you guys worry, okay. I've helped both of you and you'll do fine. Then all of us are gonna walk the line and finally get the hell out of here.”

You looked up at him and beamed. Making him grin right back.

There was a moment there where he thought that you felt the same for him. But that was squashed when you let go of his hand and hook your arm around Gareth’s.

“ Now common. They're serving pizza and you know how I love pizza Fridays.”

He and Gareth chuckled and responded at the same time. “ More than us.”

You started for the cafeteria. “ You betcha!”

…

A week later and Eddie still couldn't shake you. He just couldn't get past the thought of being with you. Or even if what he felt was just a hard core infatuation. But nothing could prepare him for the events of senior outing.

It wasn't camping or a field trip to Washington. It was a movie in the park.

Sure, you guys could have rented a decent horror flick and binge out on snacks in your basement. But you argued that it was one of the last chances to hang out. So of course everyone went.

Eddie was walking back with Jeff. Hauling bags of popcorn and drinks for everyone. As soon as he was close enough he caught your eye. You bit your lip and waved him over.

He immediately felt butterflies in his stomach.

When he sat down you scooted closer to him and covered his legs with a blanket you brought.

You then grabbed your purse and pulled out his favorite candy.

He smiled and patted himself down. Pulling out a box of milk duds from his jacket pocket.

“ Awwww you remembered. Thanks.”

His eyes went wide when you gave him a peck on the cheek.

He had only a second of shock before he tried to brush it off. “ Of-of course. I could never forget.”

You happily rocked side to side as you combined the candy and popcorn. Then you held out a bite for him.

His heart started to race the closer your hand got to his mouth.

He closed his eyes and let you feed him.

Under any other circumstances, this was totally normal. You were very affectionate. It actually annoyed him most of the time. However this time, it only served to make him think you actually did like him too.

As the movie he couldn't pay attention to kept playing, he tried not to think about his “crush”. But it was a battle he was losing. Every time you would laugh, it would warm his heart. Every time you guys reached for popcorn at the same time, your fingers would touch. All he wanted to do was hold your hand or pull you closer by your waist.

Then like a sign from above, the wind picked up. You moved closer to keep warm. Out of nowhere you rested your head on his shoulder and put your hand on his upper thigh. That's when his breath caught in his throat. He tried to clear it and ended up coughing.

Without hesitation your reached over and lifted up your lemonade for him to take a sip.

He licked his lips and took a drink. After you put the cup down, you started tracing across his thigh.

‘Better?’

He gulped and nodded. “I uhh I'm gonna get us refills.”

He felt your eyes on him as he got up and grabbed your cup and his.

While he walked to the snack bar he tried to talk down a chubby. This wasn't okay. The way you made him feel was agonizing. But in such a good fucking way.

When he hit the stand there was a huge line.

Shit! He thought.

By the time he got back to the spot, you had moved to sit between Gareth and Grant. That's when he noticed you wearing Grant's leather coat. He instantly got jealous.

You looked up and gave him a small smile. “ Sorry Eddie. I got really cold while you were gone.”

He shook his head. “ It's cool. The line was long.”

Once he handed you your drink he plopped down and sulked.

Obviously his feelings weren't going anywhere anytime soon.

What the hell was he gonna do?

…

@salenorona23

#fanfic #eddie munson #eddie munson x female original character #eddie munson x you #stranger things #eddie munson x plus size reader #eddie x reader #eddie my beloved #eddie x fem!reader #eddie x y/n #eddie stranger things #eddie x plus size reader #eddie x oc #eddie x you #plus size reader #plus size girls #Spotify

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nrpony · 5 months

Text

Another scan, this one of a piece of art I bought and had signed by Allison Boiselle at PF!

It's so gorgeous and cute and I feel like it's one of the best examples of her later work and how it improved after she first took over from the original artist whose name I can't remember.

I think she said that she originally tried to mimic the og artist's style but eventually found her own look and if you look at how the backcard art changes over time you can really tell.

Oh and this particular piece is the full version of the one at the top of the flower fantasy pony cards! I wonder if there was going to be a blue one at some point or if she was only designed for the art.

#mlp #my little pony #mlp g1 #flower fantasy ponies #production art #i suppose is what you'd call this?#g1 #production materials

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robocoplesb · 7 months

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YOU'RE THE GIRL THAT I WANT, nikki sixx. [ 03 ]

warnings: reader drinking, reader smoking, nicknames, female rivalry?, mention of using drugs, reader drunked.

author's note: i ask that you be patient with me when it comes to posting and requests. i'm going through a difficult time, but i'll try to stay active. good read, kisses<3

NIKKI SIXX (bassist): “we get closer after that, but no one knew that except us. only when vince and mick had already returned home, and tommy had gone out to buy something for us to drink or use, or even when he passed out drunk on the couch. those were the only moments i talked to her properly."

★

nikki sat next to you, the wave of cold coming from the floor of the porch step passing through his body. the wind that beat against you was light, but freezing. He looked at you in a mixture of surprise and confusion, staring at your shoulders covered only by the thin strap of your tank top and how his body didn't shiver even an inch from the cold.

"— looks like you're going to sleep here, kitten”

you quickly turned back to see your brother sprawled out on the couch, laughing at the thought that with a little push he could fall to the ground.

“— what did he take?" — you asked.

“— i don't know, but i think i want to take it too.”

you both laughed softly before silence fell over you. not that you minded, you just took another drag of your cigarette and continued looking at the empty street in front of nikki's porch. with him, it was different. not that he generally cared what people thought of him, but he wanted you to like him, not only as the bass player in your brother's garage band, so every time it was just the two of you, he approached and tried to get your attention. you two talked a lot about music, even if your favorite artists didn't look much alike, he discovered that you were an eclectic person, that was a little into the heavy and hard rock after spending nights discovering bands with your brother.

he would never admit that a lot of what you said in these conversations may have influenced just a little what he wanted to do with the band, but he thought that even if you were a girl, you knew what you were talking about. he also left some flirtations in the middle of conversations, which you laughed and ignored, taking as a joke.

but when nikki sees you like this, cigarette between your lips, green and yellow street lights illuminating your skin and no trace of you going to continue the conversation on your face, he feels pressured. pressured to do it himself. because, besides the fact that he simply wants some validation from you, he thinks he can't bear to keep staring at you like that, even though it's a pleasant sight.

“— so... it's a good name, right? ‘mötley crüe’..” — he started, trying to bring up a random topic. in this case, the name of the band, which had been decided today.

“— it's fucking good. i've never seen a name like that before. mick is definitely a being of light sent to guide you, because i swear i would never let my brother play in a band called christmas.” — you laughed, remembering the stupid name Nikki had considered earlier.

“— it wasn’t ‘christmas’. and it was a social critique, lee!” — he said defensively.

“— it's still pretty bad, cutie.” — you smiled when you saw him chuckling with the nickname. “— but seriously, it's original. no way of a band ‘mötley crüe’ not be successful. the syllables sound like fame. m-o-t-l-e-y-c-r-u-e. see it?”

he knew it was a joke, but he saw sense in what you said. he thought it was cute how you believed in the band. you went with them to look for vince, you watched all the rehearsals and sometimes nikki even let you take a look at the lyrics and give some suggestions for the songs. you were actually following them like a fifth member of the band, and he knew it was because of tommy. the first thing he noticed, you would do anything for your brother, but you would never admit it.

“— really, you're pretty good. the only thing i would change is the vocalist whore girlfriend-”

nikki held back a hysterical laugh. he didn't totally hate vince's girlfriend. of course, she was petty and liked to spend her time putting the rest of the band down to highlight vince, but damn, she was hot. unlike you, who hated her with all your strength. you've lost count of how many times you've held yourself back from hitting her in the face, but you know it was a lot. usually, when vince brought her to watch rehearsals, you hid in the kitchen and drank while listening to the muffled music. well, you had a mutual hatred.

“— ah, she's not that bad-”

“— she literally tried to fuck tommy last week!”

“— wow, he's a lucky man.." — he laughed as your hand hit his shoulder, scolding him.

“— god, men are so desperate” — you sighed as you threw your cigarette on the floor before squeezing it under your shoe, putting it out.

“— you will really deny she's pretty?”

you blushed at the question. “— you are really saying you wanna fuck the daddy's girl who says you're not good enough for her boyfriend, who is literally on the same page as you?”

“— jealous, kitten?” — he asked you with a mischievous smile.

you rolled your eyes. “— for the guy who would even fuck a mannequin as long as it had a pair of legs?” — you said as you stood up and walked to the kitchen. nikki passed the room before following you, taking something from his backpack.

when he caught up with you in the kitchen, you were mixing vodka with liquor, two things he had no idea were in his fridge. you noticed he kept both hands suspiciously behind his back as he waited for you to finish your drink.

you drop the two bottles on the table and bring the glass to your lips, swallowing the bitter taste of alcohol with ease.

“— what you got there?”

he laughed and walked to the table, facing you. he leaves a small package on the table and looks at you smiling.

“— for you, gold dust woman.” — you rolled your eyes at the nickname (that you didn't understand, but he didn't interfere, because besides being a good song, you knew that asking him to stop would only lead nikki to call you that as if it were your name) and offered him the glass. he took a sip as he watched you unwrap the wrapping.

you ran your fingers over the plastic, automatically recognizing the cd titles just by the covers. you smiled, wondering why nikki sixx, of all people, would be giving this to you. you quickly realized that he was probably sticking to what you said in your conversations, or it was too much of a coincidence that he chose your two favorite albums. you looked at him with a smug smile on your face.

“— you bought this for me, bassist?”

yes, he did.

“— no.” — he answered quickly. “— my...huh...i went to a friend's house and he said he would donate some things. i brought these for you. it's your favorites, right?”

you thought it was cute how he bothered to lie even when the cds looked untouched for how new they were and had the store sticker on the back.

“— yes, they are.” — you smiled genuinely. It took you a while to consider nikki a nice guy. at first, you thought he was nothing but talented and desperate for a job. after a few early mornings like this, you liked him. not like tommy, who sometimes acted like he was a god, but definitely liked him.

you soon understood why you allowed yourself to get closer to him. he was the first person who seemed to care. you didn't loved music because your brother was into it, and he was the first one who noticed it. he was the first to hear you monologuing about records and artists and didn't take it as some passing interest.

★

you felt your back hit the soft mattress, automatically relaxing onto the bed . nikki, who carried you bridal style to the bed, dropped your gift on the side dresser and looked at you again.

“— comfortable, kitten? want another pillow?”

“— noo...ah, this bed feels like heaven.” — you moaned at the pleasure of your muscles relaxing as you stretched out on the bed, truly looking like a kitten.

your drunken voice was obvious. you drank that entire glass while babbling random things to nikki, hearing him agree with everything while laughing. he thought you had enough after you almost fell over while hugging him, thanking him for the gift for probably the fifth time that night

he nodded and turned, showing that he was going to leave the room. that's when he felt your hand grab his wrist, feeling your long nails gently scratching the spot. you pulled lightly, making him involuntarily take a step closer to the bed.

“— where are you going?” — you whined.

“— to sleep. i’ll stay on the couch with tommy.” — he smirked and tried to move away again, being stopped by an even stronger pull on his wrist, this time making him fall on the bed.

“— tommy is like, aaaaaall sprawled out on the couch, you'll never be able to squeeze in there with him.” — you said slurred, struggling to keep your eyes open.

“— is this your excuse for not saying you want me to sleep with you, princess?” — he said while stroking his own shoulder that had hit the bed too hard.

you laughed and blushed. i mean, nikki is pretty sure he saw you blush. his cheeks already had a pinker tone than normal because of the drink, but he's sure it got a little stronger.

he wished he had gotten closer. he could only faintly smell the drink. he wished he could smell you. he wished he had run his fingers through the curves in the length of your hair. he wanted to touch his lips to your face. he didn't understand why, but in that moment, the first time he felt comfortable with the silence between you, he wanted to touch you.

but he didn't.

he watched the way you slowly accepted the sleep. his eyes closing as he listened to your murmurs getting quieter and quieter. you were even more beautiful when you slept. he’s never seen you so relaxed before. is angelic, delicate, untouchable.

and when he thinks he's falling asleep, sad because he'll only be able to see you when he wakes up, it's you he dreams of.

“ i need an easy friend

i do, with an ear to lend

i do, think you fit this shoe

i do, but you have a clue.”

— about a girl, nirvana.

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abiiors · 8 days

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Veee could you write something with matty where reader is also an artist (a way less known one) and its just pure fluff with both of them being inspired by one another?

Feel free to ignore ofc!!🫶🫶🫶

muse - matty x reader

a/n: this took a very different direction than originally planned and got slightly existential sorry about that 💀💀 but i hope you like it regardless <33

divider by @/cafekitsune

cw: mentions of smut, talks of death, general fluff and sappiness.

the artist flicks through the feature.

her name is printed in big letters on the cover of the monthly issue, her face--smiling and excited--next to the centrepiece of her latest art collection: cupid and psyche. the painting is stunning, a riot of bold colours and patterns but the at the centre is a man, his face hidden, his jet black curls tousled. his body is relaxed, she thinks there's an air of carefreeness about him.

and she'd know that for sure, after all that day is etched into her memory.

when she feels a familiar pair of arms wrap around her, she smiles.

"you're rather proud of the feature, aren't you?" matty's voice holds a little teasing note. she's stared at the feature for close to thirty minutes now, discreetly pinching herself in the same spot on her arm. (it sports a tiny, barely-there bruise now)

"good," matty nuzzles his face into her neck, softly kissing the skin, "you should be. the exhibit was fucking gorgeous."

"mmm, because you were the centrepiece?" fondly, she teases back, but the memory flashes in front of her eyes--the bustling art gallery, matty in a corner, wearing a plain hoodie and jeans and a cap hiding half of his face, absolutely brimming with pride.

she remembers the journalists asking about the man in all the paintings, the one whose face no one can see. "he's my muse," she says every time, "this collection is dedicated to him."

"someone's going to connect the dots," matty walks around her, settling himself next to her on the sofa. instantly, they rearrange themselves into a tangle--her legs on his lap, his arm around her, her head on his shoulders, his head on hers. "if they looked carefully, they'll make the connection."

"matty, we have been each other's muse for years and no one's found out. i don't think they're going to start now. besides," she snorts, "i think the art world thinks i've made you up in my mind. won't be the first time an artist's gone insane."

matty laughs. "maybe you have. you always say i'm too good to be true."

when she can't think of a retort, she sticks her tongue out, shrieking away when he smothers her in kisses.

"seriously though, it's fun writing about you. singing about you. and i love seeing myself through your eyes." suddenly matty sounds all sober and serious. she thinks his voice even wavers slightly at the end. he blinks quickly though, and just like that the brightness in his eyes is gone.

"love it when you write about me too," she teases, "love being called a gemini and a sexy girl, such poetry."

"oi! i put my heart into that! it's a precious memory for me."

"the memory of us fucking in the new bath for the first time?"

matty giggles like a teenager, hiding his face in her hair. it's fun to rile him up like this, so she continues, poking him in the ribs. "or waking up the next day with a head cold because we stayed in the cold water for so long hmm?"

"you took care of me though, and so i think you deserve to have a song written about you. or a whole album works too i think." then matty tuts. "actually, no. don't wanna tell anyone it's about you, that'll ruin the magic."

"ruin the magic?"

"of being your muse and having you as mine. i think a hundred years from now, when people would see your art as the artwork of this generation, and my music as the tune of our times--"

"tune of our times..."

"yeah, quit laughing at me!" matty flicks her nose, quickly kissing it after. "so when my music becomes the tune of our times, i think people will see it then. they will make the connections."

secretly, she loves the idea--that their love might transcend time and space through their art. that decades from now their names might be whispered together, even though they aren't just yet.

"of course, we'll be buried together by then. same grave by the way, very romeo and juliet of us."

"that's morbid!" she laughs sharply, "what will the epitaph say?"

matty hums for a bit, thinking, his eyes flutter shut for a second or two almost like he needs to focus on the half formed thought until it's a complete sentence. then he excitedly clears his throat and gently holds her face between his hands.

"here lie the artist and the muse; inspiring each other in death as they did in life."

#✉️#♤: matty blurbs #matty healy #matty healy x reader

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jazzfordshire · 2 months

Note

What the hell, I don't check Tumblr for a week and Jazz is getting PUBLISHED!? I should go off Tumblr more often!! I'm sure you've had a lot of identical messages, but this is incredibly well-deserved. Your writing has always been special: the depth of your characters, the realism and emotional power of their relationship, the pull of your plots, and just the excellent way you work with words and sentences and paragraphs and make it all sound beautiful. You're an artist and you deserve this. I came into reading your fics without knowing the characters much and your fics still pulled me in - your writing has always been strong enough to stand without the base material. (I remember thinking about some of your fics that the names could just be changed and they'd be fantastic original stories.) This is amazing, and as a big (though not relatively longtime) fan I also feel very proud of you!! I hope the process goes smoothly, thank you for making sure to keep the fic up (always thinking of the readers) and I can't wait to buy and read it whenever it comes out! (And you're still writing other fics at the same time?? Boss!)

Thank you all so much!!! 💕🥰 I am still absolutely terrified and probably will be for a good long time but I appreciate all the support and excitement SO much, it really helps with the crippling nerves lmao!

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feelbokkie · 1 year

Text

Random dates with BF!SKZ

☀️Feelbokkie M.list☀️

genre: nauseating amount of fluff

pov: 2nd person

description: Random dates you would go on with BF!SKZ

pairing: bf!skz x reader

warnings: mention of drinking

word count: 1,348

방 찬 (Bang Chan)

Card Sleeving

You cannot tell me that this man did not collect Pokémon cards at some point in his life

I feel like he would just keep them in a box somewhere

It wasn't supposed to be a date originally

He just asked if you had any plans for the next day and you told him you had to sleeve and put your pcs in a binder bc your collection was also in a box somewhere

So he said he would come over to help you

He just wanted to spend time with you

He loves spending time with you, he doesn't care what you two do

And you remember finding a box of his pokemon cards when you were over one time

💡

You snuck over while he was still at the company and stole his Pokémon cards

Sat there and counted all of them before going out to buy binders and the appropriate sleeves

Along with a few new packs of cards

Set everything up the next day before he came over: the show you two were watching was queued and ready to go, supplies on the table, and wine chilling in the fridge

Chan said he would bring lunch

"Here, I grabbed you some more cards from the office." "I have a surprise for you too!"

Is surprised and touched

And excited

You two spend the rest of the night organizing your respective collections

이 민 호 (Lee Min-Ho)

Couple's Cooking Class

You mentioned once that you wanted to go to a cooking class and he suggested that you two go to one together

You said yes because you love helping him out in the kitchen

You bought matching aprons for the class

Thought it would be easy since Minho knows how to cook already

Boy, were you wrong

Turned into a menace in the kitchen

You didn't mind, you were having fun

You two made a mess in that kitchen

Pretty sure the instructor was just waiting for you two to set the whole building on fire

Somehow didn't

Manages to out cook the 3 star Michelin chef

"This was fun but I can teach you how to cook if you're serious about learning."

서 창 빈 (Seo Chang-Bin)

Buy Stuff For Each Other (Idk what else to call it)

It was a trend a couple of years ago where couples would go to Target and seperate, buying things for their partners following a prompt to see how well they know them

You'd take it one step further and do the challenge at a mall

You would set a budget specifically for him because you know he would just go overboard and buy expensive things like a Cartier bracelet

He will still go over the budget and try to say it was on sale

He is bouncing from joy on his way back to the dorm

"I'm hungry, should we order each other food too? We can have it delivered so it'll be ready by the time we get home." "I'm dating a genius."

He went overboard with his shopping

You should have known better, he goes crazy when it comes to spoiling you

Is ecstatic with the things you bought him

"Wow, my baby knows me so well!" "Bin--" "I'm going to show the guys! They're going to be so jealous."

황 현 진 (Hwang Hyun-Jin)

Comedy Show

He's always laughing so it's perfect

He insists on sitting in the front

"Jinnie, we can't sit in the front." "Why not?" "Crowd work." "That's exactly why I want to." "Did you forget who you were in the last few minutes?" "What?" "You're an idol." ."..I'll make up a fake job if I get asked." "What if the comic recognizes you." "We lie."

You two ended up sitting up front

Luckily, nobody in the audience recognized him

The waiter who brought your food might have, but they didn't make a big thing of it

You eventually get called on for crowd work because of how much Hyunjin was laughing

"God, you're so pretty. What's your name?" "Sam!" "Where are you from Sam?" "Seoul!" "What do you do? I'm an artist". "That's cool, why kind of artist?" "...The normal kind?" "Are you not sure?"

Real smooth

Pretty sure he didn't breath the entire time you were at the show, he was just laughing the whole time

"Seungmin should get into stand up, he'd kill!" "Yeah, and you'd be his first victim."

한 지 성 (Han Ji-Sung)

Pretend To Be Tourist

He will try to convince you to dress up like a tourist too

"We have to be fully dedicated, babe." "Okay, but a fanny pack??" "It ties the whole look together, don't you think?" "Whatever you say, Ji."

Buys disposable cameras because why not

"Let's only speak English to really sell it. Loser has to pay for lunch."

Which will be easier for you if you're a native English speaker

You go to all the touristy destinations

Even buy souvenirs

You two also get suviouners for the guys as a joke

Snacked on street food and pretend like you never had it before

Walked by a few Stay and he got offended that they didn't recognize him until you reminded him that he was in disguise

Took a picture of them to post on bubble later and tease them

Saw a few street performances

Had to physically restrain him from joining them when a skz song or a girl group song came on

He was doing so well only speaking English until an old lady came up to him and asked for directions

"That doesn't count!" "That definitely counts." "Y/N...!"

이 용 복 (Lee Felix Yong-Bok)

Paint Pottery

It would be a cute date at a place like Color Me Mine

Couldn't decided if you should make a little animal figurine or a mug so you just did both

Felix chose an animal that reminded him of you and you chose a baby chick for obvious reasons

Ended up making two mugs each so you would both have matching sets

Decided to make mugs for each other instead

Both of you made the mistake of wearing white and ruined your clothes

Felix came up with the idea of making a heart with both of your thumb prints on the bottom of your mugs

Secretly Felix wrote "I love you" at the bottom of your mugs so you would have a message every time you finished drinking

You painted a heart the bottom of his for the same reason

Neither of you had a theme but somehow made them match perfectly

Felix keeps the mugs that stay at his dorm in his room so nothing happens to them

김 승 민 (Kim Seung-Min)

Watch Horrible Movies

Trash movie night!

You two just pick out the worst movies you could think of

Just a date night where you two could be haters

Thought of the idea for a full date night of watching bad movies after making Seungmin watch most of the Twilight series and watching his reaction

Loaded up on snacks and junk food

Made a fort

Started off with Breaking Dawn part 2

"Was she not a baby literally two days ago??" "This is probably one of the most fucked up parts of the whole series, Min." "Probably? That's a fetus and a grown man! He imprinted on her when she was fresh out of Bella!"

There are a lot of movies so you also made a drinking game out of them halfway through

"I'm going to die of alcohol poisoning at this rate." "I can't tell if the movie is actually good or I'm just too drunk." "I'm nowhere near drunk enough for that yet. You're just a lightweight, Y/N."

Woke up the next morning so hungover

양 정 인 (Yang Jeong-In)

Make Matching Hoodies

Simple date, but cute af

You sent him a TikTik of another couple doing it and he agreed that you should make them too

Insisted that you two get different colors so you two wouldn't accidentally swap hoodies

You both know you were going to steal his a few times anyway

You were in charge of ironing the patches on, Innie was in charge of sewing them in place to make them more stable

Played music while you were working

And ordered food

it turned into an impromptu karaoke night

Innie always takes the hoodie with him on tour and wears it to sleep

—

Buy me a coffee?

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sihtricfedaraaahvicius · 10 months

Text

Note: requested by @taylortaylormoon-mainblog, thank you!! I did change your request a little bit (I had to make Sihtric the leadsinger for dramatic effect) I hope you'll like it! (also, I was too lazy to come up with my own lyrics, so I used some of my own personal favorite sad lyrics & a list of used songs will be at the end of the fic)

Warnings: angst, heartbreak, mention of death.

pairing: Modern!Sihtric x you (f)

Summary: you're an independent artist who had to open up last-minute for a huge band. Only when you were already at the venue, you found out it was Sihtric's band.

Word count: 5.4k

Masterlist

'I can't do this anymore, I can't…'

******************

'No,' you groaned, nearly dropping your keyboard, 'oh, no. No, no, no, no!'

You're looking at the time schedule of tonight's show in your dressing room. Before you arrived, you had no idea who you were opening up for, all you knew was that the venue was in a rush to find a replacement for the original opening act, due to their singer suddenly becoming sick. You had no idea why they asked you, but it was a big show, so you had gladly accepted it… until now.

'Is this some kind of joke,' you muttered upon seeing the name of the headlining band.

'Well, well, if it's not the one and only…,' a voice you could never forget suddenly spoke behind you.

You dropped your head in your hands, not wanting to face the man who was leaning against the doorpost of your dressing room. But you turned around and as expected… there he was; Sihtric Kjartansson. Singer, guitarist, songwriter, frontman of tonight's headlining band, full time hottie and… your fucking ex boyfriend. Naturally, he was still as effortlessly good looking as the last time you had seen him, in your bed, moments before you broke his heart. He looked exactly as you remembered him: gorgeous, with his scars, his facial hair, his mismatched eyes with a hint of eyeliner, his tattoos, everything was the same, except he had grown out his hair since you last saw him, which was tied into a bun, and looked insanely good on him, it made you feel sick.

You had broken up with Sihtric about 8 months ago. You told him it was because you wanted to focus on your own music career, while his career was already skyrocketing; his band has been selling out huge venues across the world for over a year, and you told him he was a distraction for you. And in truth, you were proud and happy for him and his band, because they deserve all the fame and sold out shows.

However, the real reason for your break up was not what you had told Sihtric. Deep down you dumped him because you didn't want to be "that one singer who is dating Sihtric", or simply be just "Sihtric's girl". You didn't want to depend on his fame for your own success, which you could have done real easily. Sihtric's band, "The Last Kingdom", was signed to a huge alternative label, whereas you had decided to go independent. You were doing very well and could almost make a decent living off your music, which is what you wanted.

'How's that career of yours going, baby girl?' Sihtric gave you a cocky look, hiding his pain upon seeing you.

You knew it right away: Sihtric was bitter. Oh, by the gods, was he bitter. You had broken his heart all those months ago. He had begged you to take him back. He had called and texted you day and night, showed up at your door whenever he could and just begged you. And if you were honest, breaking up with Sihtric was the biggest mistake of your life, but your pride and ego got the best of you back then, and it still got the best of you now.

'My career is going perfectly fine,' you feigned a smile, 'I didn't know I was opening for you guys today.'

'Yeah, hometown show,' Sihtric smiled proudly, a smile which took all his effort to make it look genuine, 'so, uh… how have you been?'

'Good,' you lied, fighting your tears, 'you?'

'Still alive and breathing somehow,' he said gloomy.

'Sihtric!' Uhtred, the bass player, yelled from down the hall, 'soundcheck!'

'Alright, I gotta run,' Sihtric sighed and looked you up and down as he stepped back, but he stopped and lingered, contemplating before he quietly said, 'you're looking really pretty, baby girl,' he smiled weakly, 'looking forward to your set tonight.'

You broke down in tears after you slammed the door shut behind him. And that wasn't the last time you'd cry that day.

*****************

You had your soundcheck after Sihtric's band, and you had been avoiding his friends, aka his bandmates, at all costs as they got off stage, and your hired band members arrived just in time to soundcheck with you.

Everything looked and sounded fine, all ready to go. But the venue was massive and you were incredibly nervous. Not for the crowd, but because you now knew Sihtric would be watching your set from the side of the stage. You already planned on playing some new songs for the first time, which were written to cope with your dumb ass decision of dumping the best boyfriend in the world. But your ego could never admit straight to his face that all those new songs were written because of him and your heartbreak.

'Turn it up a little,' you said as you played the melody of your upcoming new single on your keyboard. Once satisfied with the sound, you stopped and got up, after the rest of your band had already left the stage.

'Sounding good,' Sihtric smiled, leaning on the barrier in front of the stage. You didn't see him before he spoke, as the spotlight had blinded you, and you wondered how long he had been there.

'Thanks,' you said curtly, wanting to walk off stage.

'Hey,' Sihtric said, 'come here?'

'I don't have time. I… I have an interview soon,' you lied, you just didn't want to cry again.

'Surely you have a minute,' Sihtric said as he climbed over the barrier and onto the stage, pushing himself up with those toned arms.

'I don't,' you tried to storm off but Sihtric grabbed your hand.

'Hey, are we good?' he asked cautiously, 'I know we haven't seen each other in a while but… I don't want things to be weird. I mean, I… I never stopped loving you. I don't want any issues between us, you know? You've been with me through my highs and lows, and you always supported me. I really…,' he sighed and brushed his rough, tattooed fingers over your arm, 'I really hope you're doing well. I'll always be rooting for you, you know that. Even though you broke my fucking heart,' he smiled weakly, 'you always supported me back then, and a big part of the band's success is also because of you letting me do my thing all that time.'

'Sure,' you scoffed, 'a bigger part of your success is probably you banging your groupies.'

You immediately regretted your comment, knowing that it was a lie, and Sihtric clearly looked hurt.

'What the fuck?' he said, offended, 'you know I'm not like that. I've never done that. Finan, yes. But me? Fuck,' he scoffed lightly, 'baby, I… I still think of you each night.'

'Well, congratulations,' you sneered, 'don't you have some meet and greets to do?'

'I do, actually,' Sihtric said sadly, 'I just wanted to check up on you, that's all...'

'I don't need to be checked up on, Sihtric. I'm doing just fine!' you fought your tears.

'I know,' Sihtric backed off, 'I always kept up with your work, the snippets and lyrics you've been sharing. I loved how you always had a way with words,' he said, honestly, 'but you know, I couldn't help noticing your recent work has been… sad. I'd almost think you wrote about me.'

'Please,' you rolled your eyes, 'not everything I write is about you.'

'You're right,' Sihtric nodded and gave you a heartbroken expression, 'but even if it was, you'd never admit it.'

You felt a pang as Sihtric walked past you. Your last work has definitely been about him, the only way to cope with your foolish mistake of breaking up with him, but he had no idea about the more recent stuff you wrote.

And there was the cue for your second breakdown of the day.

****************

You went to grab a drink before the venue opened and couldn't help eavesdropping on the meet and greet that some lucky fans had with Sihtric's band right now.

'I recently got dumped,' a young fan cried in Sihtric's arms, 'your music has really helped me through it. How do you deal with heartbreak?'

'Eh,' Sihtric said awkwardly, 'I… I'm still figuring it out myself. But you'll be fine, I promise. Put your focus into things that make you happy, find a healthy outlet for your pain.'

You hated how you felt yourself smile at his words. Sihtric was confident, but a real softie, and always had a good word of advice ready. And you loved all that and more about him.

You contemplated getting completely wasted before your set, but you knew a venue like this was a big deal, you could gain a lot of new fans tonight if you played a good set, so you stayed sober. And you were also terrified of the things you'd say to Sihtric in your drunk state.

***************

Showtime.

You and your band mates hugged and got ready to go on stage. You'd only play for half an hour, and you figured you could do this without breaking down, at least you hoped. It was awkward nonetheless, because almost everyone in the audience knew you and Sihtric had history and would figure out the new lyrics are about him.

Your band went on and started the intro to your set as you waited for your moment to walk on stage. You felt actually relieved when you didn't see Sihtric, but then, just before you had to go on, you felt someone take your hand. You looked behind you as Sihtric leaned in.

'Good luck, baby,' he smiled softly and kissed your cheek.

You already fucked up by missing your cue and were too late for the first few lines of your song. Luckily it was a new song, so no one knew the mistake, as you never shared any lyrics or snippets for the songs you were about to play.

You fought your tears and ran on stage to continue the song as your band played.

'-If I keep my eyes closed, he looks just like you.

But he'll never stay, they never do…

Now if I keep my eyes closed, he feels just like you-'

Sihtric loved watching you perform, as you were a ball of energy on stage, just like he was, but your lyrics made it bittersweet and he was having a rough time right now.

He missed you so much, his heart was literally hurting. As an artist himself, he never wanted to hold you back from following your dreams, as he was following his dreams too. But if he was completely honest, he'd give it all up if it meant he could be with you again. He didn't care about the fame or the money, it was all nice, sure, but it meant nothing when he was alone in bed at night, silently crying because he felt so fucking lonely and lost without you. And every night he was close to calling you, telling you how much he needed you, but he didn't want to be an obstacle in your career. But fuck, how it hurted him. How he'd rather die…

'Thank you!' you shouted at the enthusiastic crowd. You were struggling, but glad the crowd seemed to have a good time. 'As this performance wasn't really planned,' you said, 'we decided to just play you guys some new songs.'

The crowd cheered and Sihtric smiled. The way you captivated that sold out room melted his heart, and he was so proud. He always believed your music was made for the big crowds, and that is why he had asked the venue to request you as a supporting act tonight, when they quickly needed a replacement.

'So… this next song is called Strange Love and it's about… well…' you shrugged as you felt Sihtric's eyes on you, and just motioned your band to start playing.

'Everybody wants to know if we fucked on the bathroom sink. How your hands felt in my hair-'

Sihtric groaned and rubbed his face. He knew exactly what night you were talking about, and he didn't know if he wanted to laugh or cry right now.

'We wrote a story in the fog on the windows that night.

But the ending is the same every damn time…

They think I'm insane, they think my lover is strange.

But I don't have to fucking tell them anything, anything.

And I'm gonna write it all down, and I'm gonna sing it on stage.

But I don't have to fucking tell them anything-'

Sihtric sat down as he watched you, his sight was completely blurred as tears filled his eyes. After four minutes of torture, the song was over and the crowd once again seemed to love it. You kept your composure and made sure to never look towards the side of the stage, knowing you'd break down instantly if you saw Sihtric.

'Okay, we only got two songs left!' your voice echoed through the packed venue. 'This one is called Whispers. And it's about the, eh… inner struggle with my… myself and my decisions.' You chuckled when the crowd cheered.

Sihtric was intrigued by the new melody, but he dreaded your lyrics, and rightfully so.

'-You tell yourself you're fine, but you…

Sabotage the things you love the most.

Camouflage, so you can feed the lie that you're composed.

This is the voice in your head that says, "you do not want this".

This is the ache that says, "you do not want him".

This is the glimmer of light that you're keeping alive when-'

Sihtric held his breath as he watched you do that slow, slutty drop down to your knees, a move he desperately missed seeing you do for him alone. But now you dropped to your knees to the beat of your own music, and it was heartbreakingly arousing to Sihtric. He felt furiously jealous when the crowd screamed their lungs out at your moves, but he couldn't blame them.

'-You tell yourself, "bet I could fuck him".

Why do you need love so badly?

Bet it's because of her daddy.

Bet she was brutal and bratty.

Bet that she'll never be happy.

I bet that you're right, and I'll show you in time but I…

Sabotage the things I love the most-'

You got up from your knees and rolled your hips to the haunting beat, and Sihtric was losing his mind as he watched you continue your song.

'I've got a monster inside me that eats personality types.

She's constantly changing her mind on the daily,

Think that she hates me-'

You felt good playing your new songs, as long as you never looked over to the man who was the cause for all your lyrics, and you desperately fought the urge to look at him.

'-This is that space in your bed that says, "bet I could fuck him".

Isn't it lonely?

These are the standards to which you could hold me.

Think that you know me, you think that you could if you hold me.

Think you could try to console me but I do not know me.

No I do not know me-'

You teared up when the crowd cheered again, happy that your healthy outlet, as Sihtric would call it, was being so well received. But now your most dreaded moment came as your band members left the stage, and you took place behind the keyboard.

'So,' you said, 'thank you all for being so kind to me, my band and the new music, it means the world,' you got interrupted by a loud applause.

Sihtric cheered for you, albeit bittersweet, from the side of the stage.

'This is the last song and it's…,' you sighed, 'someone told me I could never admit it if my songs were about said person…'

Sihtric's smile faded as he felt his heart beat out of his chest while he listened to your speech.

'So, I guess this is me admitting it. This song is called Sorry, and well… like every song tonight, it's… it's about you,' you said and started playing.

Sihtric recognized the melody, as you had played it during your soundcheck, but he didn't know it was part of an actual song, and his eyes already teared up before hearing your words.

'I've missed your calls for months it seems.

Don't realize how mean I can be,'

Cause I can sometimes treat the people that I love like jewelry.'

Cause I can change my mind each day, I didn't mean to try you on.

But I still know your birthday, and your mother's favorite song…'

You added a short pause to compose yourself, and at this moment Sihtric was already sobbing at the side of the stage, sitting down with his face buried in his hands.

'-I'm sorry to my unknown lover, sorry that I can't believe,

That anybody ever really starts to fall in love with me.

Sorry to my unknown lover, sorry I could be so blind.

Didn't mean to leave you and all of the things that we had behind…'

The crowd lit up the venue with the flashlights on their phones, and you couldn't keep it dry anymore. Your voice trembled as you continued.

'I run away when things are good and never really understood,

The way you laid your eyes on me in ways that no one ever could.

And so it seems I broke your heart, my ignorance has struck again.

I failed to see it from the start, and tore you open 'til the end…'

You decided to just play the melody further without singing as you were a sobbing mess, just like Sihtric, but you had no idea about the state he was in. You managed to take slight control of your emotions again and tried to get the last few lines over your lips as steady as possible.

'Someone will love you,

Someone will love you…

But someone… isn't…me.'

'Thank you,' you said and got up, you made a quick bow to the crowd as you rushed off stage, ready for another breakdown to happen. You didn't even see Sihtric, as the side of the stage was darkened, but he managed to grab your hand and pulled you with him, behind the black curtains that hid the boxes in which their gear was transported.

'What are you doi-'

'Baby, come here,' Sihtric whispered in your ear, interrupting you as he pulled you in his arms, holding you tight.

It took only a second for you to melt into his embrace, and you wrapped your arms around his familiar, muscular body, which you missed so much. You missed the way he'd hold you at night, and the way he always snuck up behind you, pulling you in for a hug. You missed planting kisses all over his body, and the way his hands felt in your hair and on your hips. You missed his voice in your ear and his smile. You missed his mismatched eyes looking at you after you just woke up and most of all, you missed the way he said he loves you. And you could never hate anyone more than the way you hated yourself, for hurting him and being so stupid to let him go.

'Baby, I love you so much,' Sihtric sighed, 'I need you. So badly.'

He pulled away to see your face. You had broken down in tears as soon as Sihtric had pulled you in his arms. He wiped your tears while his own tears were still rolling down his face, and he cupped your cheeks.

'I love you,' he said, almost inaudible as there was loud music playing while the stage was being changed over.

'Sihtric,' you sniffled, 'please… I don't deserve y-'

'Whatever reason there was for you breaking up with me, I… I promise I will do better,' Sihtric said through his tears, 'I can't do this anymore, I can't… I can't fucking live without you. I don't want to live without you. It all means nothing. Everything… everything is meaningless.' Sihtric buried his face in your neck as he pulled you close again.

'You never did anything wrong!' you cried, 'I'm the problem, Sihtric. I felt I had to choose between you and my career. I was afraid I could never become a respected artist on my own while I was together with you… I'd always be "Sihtric's girl", and no matter how much I loved being yours,' you sobbed, 'but it… it never even changed after I left you. I-I fucked up by letting you go, thinking everything would be different for my career but it's not… nothing changed.'

'Then be my girl again,' Sihtric took your face in his trembling hands, 'all you have to do is say the words and you're mine, baby. I never,' he choked on his words and exhaled sharply, 'I never want anyone else. I haven't been with anyone else ever since you left me. I only want you… only you.'

You raked your fingers through his hair, pulling the long strands away from his wet cheeks and you wiped his tears with the sleeve of your tight fitted top.

'Babe,' you sniffled, 'we need to talk about this properly. Not here, not like this.'

'Then, come,' he said, 'we'll leave… we'll talk, right now.'

'No, Sihtric, you have to perform in like half an hour, you can't just leave.'

'I don't care!' he suddenly shouted, making a few roadies snap their heads towards you.

'No, stop,' you pulled his face closer, pressing his forehead against yours, 'don't be such a fool! This is the headline show you always dreamt of, you will not fuck this up! We can talk after the show.'

'Will you stay?' he pleaded, 's-stay with me… stay for the show?'

'I will stay for the show,' you smiled softly, 'you know I love seeing you on stage…'

Your hands found their own way down to his neck while his hands trailed down to your hips, pulling you flush against his body.

'Tell me you love me, baby,' Sihtric closed his eyes as he murmured, 'please. I need… I need to hear it. I need to know you still love me.'

'I love you, Sihtric, I've always loved you,' you fought another breakdown as you spoke, 'and I will always love you, but it's so complicated.'

He brought his trembling fingers up to your face, carefully caressing your cheeks as he looked down in your eyes with his own teared up pair. You then noticed his entire body was trembling, not just his hands, and you placed your hands on his chest, feeling his rapid heartbeat.

'I love you, always,' you said as he looked down at you with big eyes.

'I love you so much,' Sihtric said with a sob.

He suddenly pecked your lips, taking you both by surprise. Sihtric had held himself back all day already, ever since he first saw you again. All he wanted to do was to pull you in his arms and kiss you. He was so desperate to kiss you, to taste you… to feel you, hold you, hear you, love you, fuck you, he wanted everything with you. He wanted you to be his again.

You looked up at him, eyes as big as his own, confused yet accepting of his lips. He hesitantly pressed his shaky fingers on your warm cheeks and pecked your lips again.

'My love,' his lower lip trembled along with his voice, stealing another quick kiss before he continued, 'I love you.' His lips found yours again for a split second, 'I love you, baby,' he breathed, and you allowed him another quick kiss, 'kiss me back,' he swallowed hard, 'please, kiss me back, baby girl.'

You stared at his face, his eyes were closed again, waiting for you to make a decision. You knew if you kissed him back you would give him your answer, you would be his again, you'd be "Sihtric's girl" again, probably always living in his shadow as an artist. And you knew if you walked away now, you would destroy him. He would still go and play the show, but he would drink himself into oblivion afterwards and get into trouble.

*******************

You watched Sihtric breathe the lyrics of their newest songs into the mic. And god, he looked so good doing it, dressed in skinny, black jeans, black boots, his shirtless, sweaty, muscular torso heaving up and down, heavy but controlled, with his guitar trapped around his broad shoulder. You couldn't blame the several girls who fainted at the sight when he took off his shirt halfway through the show, as it still set you on fire all the same.

'You're the sin that I've been waitin' for,

The hands around my throat.

It's all I can think about-'

The song started off calm, which you loved, but as you hadn't heard any of his new music, you were taken by surprise when the chorus suddenly erupted with guitars and drums, accompanied by his rough, bone chilling voice.

'As the knife goes in, cut across my skin,

When my death begins,

I wanna know that I was dying for you.

I died for you!'

You held your breath, this was definitely a lot heavier than their first album.The crowd seemed to love it, and so did you, but you felt the words were hard to hear, just like Sihtric had felt when he heard your lyrics. And you were taken aback by the pain and anger in his voice as he continued.

'Show me all the deaths are the same!

Show me you'll remember my name.

Show me all the deaths are the same,

You… will… remember my name!'

The melody suddenly changed into an enchanting tone and you watched Sihtric stumble towards the side of the stage, dropping down on his knees. And you felt breathless when Sihtric looked at you as his clean vocals sounded through the venue.

'I wish this pain could last forever, forever.

I wish this kill… could make me suffer… for good…'

You were amazed by his vocal range, you always knew Sihtric was good, but he definitely put in a lot of work those months you were separated. And tears formed in your eyes again when his clean vocals transitioned smoothly into his heavy, low screams, making everyone feel his suffering, The suffering you were the cause of, that had made him think he was the problem. The suffering that made him write the next song, which was apparently a hit single as the crowd went wild and girls in the front row started crying their eyes out.

'So, if you love me, let me go…

And run away before I know.

My heart is just too dark to care,

I can't destroy what isn't there.

Deliver me into my fate.

If I'm alone I cannot hate,

I don't deserve to have you,

Ooh, my smile was taken long ago-'

You made an attempt to walk away but you couldn't, not when Sihtric locked eyes with you, all choked up as the crowd bellowed the next words with him. And it felt like a punishment, which you deserved, for hurting him so.

'I still press your letters to my lips,

And cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss.

I couldn't face a life without your light,

But all of that was ripped apart when you refused to fight…'

Sihtric choked up again and the crowd took over, and you fought the urge to run up to him, pulling him in your arms. Sihtric hid his tears by shredding the guitar as he played, with his long, wild hair in front of his face as he let out a loud, gut wrenching grunt, which only those on stage could hear, before he got back to the mic again.'

You never needed any help,

You sold me out to save yourself.

And I won't listen to your shame,

You ran away, you're all the same!

Angels lie to keep control,

Ooh, my love was punished long ago,

If you still care, don't ever let me know…'

You cried, silently, as the crowd cheered while Sihtric played the outro. You felt horrible, you didn't know Sihtric had been so hurt and bitter, and you figured it was over forever. But then he suddenly looked over at you, as you wiped your tears, and he mouthed 'I love you,' and blew a kiss, to which a few thousand girls screamed, wishing he'd do that to them. And you smiled softly through your tears.

'Okay, so… this is our last one,' Sihtric said and the crowd protested, 'I know,I know, sorry,' he grinned. 'Anyway, uh, it's on our upcoming record and it's called Beyond. I wrote this for a girl, well, actually,' he chuckled lightly, 'I wrote this for my girl. But I wrote it for her before I knew she would be mine again.'

Your eyes grew wide and you stopped breathing.

'It's only my heart that you're taking,

But you're so alive, it's amazing-'

You felt your cheeks heat up and smiled as he started playing. You were his girl again. Sihtric's girl. And you would always be, forever, and happily so. Then Sihtric suddenly pulled his mic off the stand and walked over to you.

'Nothing matters, all I want is you.

Just say you'll leave me alive,

Just stay, I'm ready to die.'

'Sihtric? No, no!' you yelled with a nervous smile as he took your hand, pulling you on stage.

'Give me everything I never could have.

I'll show you everything I know that I am.'

You had no idea where to look when the crowd went nuts at the sudden reveal of you and Sihtric being back together again, and to make it worse, Sihtric dropped down on his knees for you, belting out the lyrics and not even playing his guitar part. You thought he looked sexier than ever, and by the deafening screams of his fans, they agreed.

'Just one more time tonight,

I promise, in the morning, everything is alright.

Write this down and mark my words,

I will tear myself apart for you.

Find me where the lights go down,

And I'll show you what I see.'

You hid your flustered face behind your hands as Sihtric got back up again, beckoning you over as he attached his mic back to the stand to play his guitar. You shyly walked over and he took your hand, pulling you close again and holding your face in his hands as he sang while not having to play the guitar for a moment.

'All I wanted was a dream come true.

All I wanted was a woman like you!

With a fire in your heart, smoke in your eyes.

And all I wanted was a place for you and I!'

You hid your teary eyes again as he played the rest of the song, and you smoothly moved away to sit on the platform on which Finan was playing the drums, and he grinned at you. You watched SIhtric lose himself in his guitar solo, and you thought you couldn't possibly be more in love with him, but you were so wrong. And when the song was finished, he took his guitar off, threw it to a roadie and he quickly walked over to you, picking you up in his arms and kissed you passionately for everyone to see, and you knew a couple of girls got their hearts broken in the crowd at that very moment. You felt his entire body was trembling again and you told him to put you back down on your feet, which he did with a smile before he kissed you again.

'I love you, you're mine forever,' Sihtric said quickly, before Uhtred, Finan and Osferth pulled him away to thank the crowd.

You giggled as you ran off stage. And not much later Sihtric ran after you, chasing you down the backstage hallways until he caught you in his arms. You screamed with laughter as he picked you up, smothering you with kisses while he carried you to his dressing room, and he said you needed a shower, just like him. To which you agreed, but have to admit; you felt dirtier coming out of that shower than you had felt when you got in.

*****************

song lyrics used:

Eyes Closed - Halsey

Strange Love - Halsey

Whispers - Halsey

Sorry - Halsey

Yen - Slipknot

Snuff - Slipknot

Beyond - Corey Taylor

****************

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