#can’t remember who now though :

[cygnus-is-tired]

Hair Dye Head Cannons!

Richie, regularly dyes his hair, but is there about re-bleaching his roots. Changes the color every three months or so, depends on whatever anime character he’s obsessed with at the time.

Ruth, got talked into dying he hair one and was going to let it grow back out until a lady gave her a compliment on it in a grocery store. It was a religious experience.

Peter, also got talked into dying his hair once but, but he hated how it looked. He tried to fix it by dying over it with his “natural” color. Which ended up being two shades too light. Giving him bad green-brown highlights instead.

#saw someone head cannon Ruth as having red highlights and couldn’t stop thinking about it #can’t remember who now though :/ #Pete just didn’t strike me as a person who would dye his hair but I thought it would be funny if he got #roped into it and then immediately regretted it #my art #water color #traditional art #npmd #nerdy prudes must die #ruth fleming #peter spankoffski #richie lipschitz

[sunmoontruth-stiles]

I need a completely rewritten teen wolf series with Derek Hale as the main character. I think it would heal me.

#we follow Derek from New York. Laura left for beacon hills. it’s been six years since he was back but he hasn’t heard from her #and hes going stir crazy waiting. he packs up and travels back. it’s almost too much immediately. he still can’t get a hold of Laura #he can’t resist going home. it’s like a natural pull that guides him back. all at once he’s 16 again. staring at the wreckage of his life #deputy stilinski is sherrif now. it’s reassuring in the slightest that the police force seems to have moved on from how corrupt it was #he catches her scent and it’s putrid. bile catches in his throat. he seeks it out. still in denial to what he knows it means. #when he finds Laura it’s like the world ends all over again. he can’t stand to see her like this. he gives her a proper burial. #the best he can do at least #he visits Peter. he’s not the man Derek remembers- so full of fire and cunning. their relationship may have been strained at times. #often Derek felt more like Eve being swayed by the snake than a normal friendship #but this isn’t the sharp tongued uncle who guided him. this is a broken shell. all that remained of his family. he was so lost. #22 but he barely knew how to function without his family- his pack paving the way #Laura handled everything. she got the apartment. she made sure they had food. Derek looks back and feels so useless #he was so lost in his grief. Laura must of felt the same way but she never let them drown in it #she made sure he got his GED. even got him to enroll in community college classes. #he took them online. he never was able to warm up to people the same way. he used to be so full of life. now he just wanted to be left alone #he studied English. never finished his degree. doesn’t look like he ever will now. he can’t go back to Laura and his shared home. #can’t bare to see another shell of a home #he vents to the vacant audience of Peter and his cold fixed eyes #Derek leaves. he wants to promise he’ll return soon #but promises feel costly these days #he decides to go back to the reserve. maybe he can find some clue as to what happened to Laura #someone lured her here. someone who knew them and their history here #his mind went to the worst. Kate. why would she go through the trouble six years later. why wait so long. #Derek couldn’t stomach the thought of facing her. he focused on the woods. the scents were all over the place. #clearly multiple people had been through here recently. two scents were much stronger. Derek follows them #but when he hears the crunch of leaves he realizes why the scents are so strong. they’re still here #he ducks behind some trees. listening in on their conversation. but an echo of their scent catches his attention #he spots an inhaler on the ground. he puts two and two together and swipes it from the leaves. #he comes out once they’re closer. tossing over the inhaler- he figures they’ll leave. dumb kids messing around in the woods #he reminds them this is private property. though that may not be true anymore. he recognizes the scent of a new beta. interesting.

[turtleblogatlast]

omfg did you have any content on that post you just posted? the one about leo never shutting up until hes in real pain? because you are very much Correct for that one holy hell it gets me every time

[ cw: violence mention / self sacrifice implied / ]

No content, just something I thought upon when thinking of the movie (something that is on my mind so very often.)

Just, thinking of Leo, when he’s separated from everyone and everything, being completely silent. Even being so horrifically beaten as he was, even being in a true nightmare scenario, he is silent in his suffering. Smiles through it, even.

At the moment where it would have been more than justified to make any noise, he stays silent.

#non au ask #violence mention / #self sacrifice / #I stg there are more instances of this in the actual series too but I can’t remember the actual details from the top of my head #I’ll have to do a rewatch someday #but yeah make no mistake he’s still that joking boy that’s legitimately who he is as a person #but silence meets him like an old friend the way only a Leo would know #side note but I also think the theme of him and silence kinda ties in to how- #he’s the best one at stealth plus the one who’s most likely to go off on his own #silence and isolation are two things that go hand in hand with his character #and what makes rise leo all the more interesting is how much he fights against that #his inclination toward talking and joking and his dependency on being with his brothers as a team works in tandem with his root nature #djjdjdj okay I’m getting pretentious now but I could write a lot about my personal interpretation of Leo as a character #(even though it 100% is prob me just looking too far into things lol but that’s the fun of fiction analysis huh)

[queer-reader-07]

something about finding the people who sit through your info dumps with joy on their face and enthusiasm for your passions. something about finding the people who info dump right back at you because they know you love hearing about their passions. something about finding the people who manage to sum up your being in one niche, oddly specific sentence that lives in your mind rent free for the rest of time. something about finding the people who not only accept you for who you are but embrace you for who you are. who not only tolerate your quirks and differences but love and cherish them.

#i’m in my feels today if you couldn’t tell #just thinking about one friend in particular who i don’t get to see in person nearly enough but i text all the time #idk it’s the little things #the way we send each other videos of ourselves explaining whatever we’re learning about right now #the way we don’t write it in a long message because the emotion and vibes don’t translate properly #the way he’s told me that the way i dress is so gender nonconforming in his eyes #how even though i’m afab and i wear glittery makeup and crop tops and have pink hair #i still look so queer and so gnc and so Not Girl in his eyes #how that felt so validating #how i could feel the genuine love in his words #how he told me once that i’m ‘not a person with lore but rather a person with a schtick’ #and how he explained to me what my schtick was and how accurate it was #how he told me he can’t wait for me to get my degree(s) and be an openly queer person in stem #how he can’t wait for me to defend my thesis sometime in the future and be wearing the brightest makeup and the biggest earrings #and the tallest boots #how he loves that i go to my chem lab every week with glitter on my eyes #how it’s cool that i don’t care if i stick out like a sore thumb because i’m me #i remember how he dropped the she/her pronouns immediately upon ne saying i didn’t really vibe with them #(even when they were still technically on my list of ‘ok to use pronouns’) #how his boyfriend who i don’t know very well has always they/them-ed me because my friend does #and if my friend is doing it then it must be the right thing #idk i just love my friends #and this friend in particular is someone i’ve gotten really close with over the past 6 months or so #and i’m so glad to have him in my life #platonic love #friendship #tell your friends you love them

[enchanting-grom-fright]

did u know

#i don’t know when i but i’m taller it must be something in the water #i grew up here til it all went up in flames except the notches in the door frame #my recurring dream i’m at the movies i don’t remember what i’m seeing the screen turns into a tidal wave #when the speed kicks in i go to the store for nothing #the house where u lived with snow white i wonder if she ever though the storybook tiles on the roof were too much #the drugstores r open all night the only real reason i moved to the east side #and here everyone knows ur the way to my heart hear so many stories of u at the bar #either i’m careless or i wanna get caught #i can’t open and forget how to talk bcs even if i could wouldn’t know where to start wouldn’t know where to stop #close my eyes fantisize three clicks and i’m home #when i get back i’ll lay around then i’ll get up and lay back down #i know i know i know #like a wave that crashed and melted on the shore not even the burnouts r out here anymore #either way we’re not alone i’ll find a new place to be from a haunted house with a picket fence to float around and ghost my #friends no i’m not afraid to disappear the billboard said the end is here i turned around there was nothing there yea ig the end is here #and now my feet can’t touch the bottom of u #of somebody who loves u more #so i will wait for the next time u want me like a dog with a bird at ur door #and there’s something i’m supposed to say but i can’t remember what it is #and if and if i could give u the moon i would give u the moon #u r sick and ur married and u might be dying #i would do anything for u i would do anything i will do anything #laying down on the lawn i’m tired of trying to get in the house i’m thinking out loud #i’ve been playing dead my whole life #i hate ur mom i hate it when she opens her mouth it’s amazing to me how much u can say when u don’t know what ur talking abt #i feel something when i see u #bcs i don’t know what i want until a fuck it up #i’ll climb through the window again but rn it feels good not to stand #day off in kyoto got bored at the temple looked around at the 711 the band took the speed train to the arcade i wanted to go but i didnt #called me from a pay phone they still got pay phones it cost a dollar a minute

[userparamore]

do you guys have like lost media but it’s just lost in your memories? like you heard a song or watched a movie and remember only a glimpse of it but not what it’s called?

#for me there’s this movie #and they showed it on tv #and this was back in the day bc i recorded it and had it saved #it was about this guy rocker/metal guy #(think like an even sluttier eddie munson) #who ended up replacing a singer in a popular rock/heavy metal band #the movie was set in the 80s #and little ol’ me though he was so hot #and he rocked out on stage let fame get to his head did a lot of drugs slept with a lot of women #i was way to young for this movie lmao #and i watched it multiple times #and now i cannot for the life of me remember what the movie is called #i’ve googled it so many times and i can’t find it :((

[imflyinoveryou]

living with em just has me in this irrational , constant oscillation of idealization and genuine resentment and it’s not fair to them nor myself.. i can’t wait to put space between us ! and i can’t wait to have clarity that brings far more love into my relationships with them.

#and everytime i start to feel like they stole my life from me i gotta remember that like; while unfair; they kinda needed me more than i #i needed to (have a life) as dumb as that sounds #cause now they’re still the same broken people and i actually have all the chances in the world that they never did #and that is so fucking heartbreaking cause they deserve the world you know #so i can’t hate them for not knowing how to be parents. they never stood a chance #idk it feels like all of my sacrifices were in vain bc they’re still struggling but at the same time #they’re sincerely healing in real time. it’s cool to see. #it’s all on their own accord though i have had no part to play in that #and it took me all this time to realize it? #im so angry that they molded me into such an obedient and quiet kid who was too scared to do anything for myself #and they never actually needed me but they convinced me and themselves that they did #and I’ve missed out on so much life. granted I am so young and no one is truly responsible but myself for falling for that bullshit #im just grieving. and there’s a lot to grieve man. #anyways I’m gonna go shopping muahahaha

[ziracona]

We remember how much his ‘look at what they’re doing, what they’re asking you to do,’ monologue slapped, but what Deacon doesn’t get enough credit for is that he’s right about every single faction when he cautions you too.

#I have been thinking about this a lot but his problem with the Minutemen is he doesn’t trust the power structure as not likely to corrupt & #while if you’re a good General the Minutemen stay in corrupted and are /very good/ they can also become used by a bad PC and deeply corrupt #and even convinced to sell out the commonwealth to the institute AND think they’re doing the right thing so he’s actually 4-for-4 #he’s a little harsh maybe but he’s /not/ wrong and people don’t talk about that or the monutemen’s potential for corruption either #I adore the Minutemen! they’re great. working hard RN to drag Deacon on their entire quest line so he will like them better. but this does #not change they have the potential for deep corruption as well as becoming a great group. it’s so /easy/ to tell people who to hate and why #when you’re in charge. and the difference between them and the Railroad is the Railroad knows they’re signing on to a death sentence and #everyone is there out of a personal experience and personal conviction to do what they think is right. none of them have heard these people #are heroes and think they can become heroes by signing on. they’re a bunch of traumatized - angry - hurt people desperate to not let #something that happened to them before happen again. you can’t easily corrupt viciously held personal beliefs #now it’s not necessarily bad either that the Minutemen represent hope and justice and good! hope is vital and so is potential. people have #to believe in something right? but it does introduce the easy threat of being corrupted because people are there for the idea of something #and ideas corrupt quicker in reality than action plans do. I think it’s fascinating #Anyway Preston deserves a Minutemen who live up to what he saw them as as a child and the commonwealth needs real good guys and I will / #/always/ see he and they get them. but I don’t think Deacon is given credit foe the validity of his criticism. #it happened when he was young. they sold out and power corrupted and almost all of them and a lot of civilians died. that doesn’t have to #happen again. they /can/ be different: but it’s important to remember how easily it did last time. learn from the past. move forward #fallout 4 #god I love the Minutemen though they’re very sweet. the fear in my soul when I see three people in cowboy hats with muskets and no armor #trying to take out a sentry bot in the distance let me tell you even on survival I jump into danger with a panic previously unknown #kind little fools. they’re doing great : ) 💙

[pepprs]

misery despair suffering etc etc

#purrs #delete later #two thoughts about separate things both causing the despair. thought / thing number 1 which i think ive talked abt on here many times before #but im saying it again: i am not good at being a friend in the ways my friends need me to be a friend. and in the ways friendship is thought #of societally i guess. i isolate myself constantly. i pull away from the opportunity to get closer with people i don’t know as well. i don’t #text back and then when im finally ready it’s been so egregiously long since it was appropriate for me to respond or reciprocate or #whatever it is i am so crushed by guilt and shame and embarrassment that i can’t bring myself to do it. i have so many unread messages and i #wont even let myself open them. and ive been like this for years. and i hurt someone very badly many years ago by being that way. and it was #more complicated than that but sometimes i remember it and how i acted and how i treated them. and i wonder sometimes if they check up on me #and i don’t want to be immature or weird or whatever for talking about it or wondering that openly. but if you do read this and you know who #you are: i am so sorry. i meant whst i said that i would never stop wishing you well and hoping the very best for you. and i hope you have #all of that and more. and im so sorry for not being brave enough to communicate with you or stick around. i really really am. and im sorry #to all the other people i have hurt by pulling away and shutting down and shrinking inside myself and not talking. ik it’s weird to post #that instead of just telling people directly but it’s the guilt. i am fully aware of how many people / groups of people i owe things to / #for but also just… miss. a lot. and want to talk to even though i won’t let myself. i don’t know why im like this and i don’t know how to #stop. but im sorry im not a good friend or even acquaintance or community member. and im talking to everyone now i guess including anyone #reading this bc god knows how many asks and messages i have on here. im sorry. i want to be a better friend. but i also never have spoons. a #and i also want to stay spoonless and cocooned on myself forever and never come out. and i hate that. i want to be a friend. i want to be #kind and giving and loving and generous in the ways you all have been with me. i want to hang out with people and send messages and be there #to lift people up and celebrate with them. but all i can muster is tapping like on social media and it’s horrific. i have gifts to make and #hello / checking in messages to reply to and roleplay starters to post and i just can’t do it right now and im scared i’ll never be able to #again. but it’s a self fulfilling prophecy. if i say i can’t do it then iwont. it’s not enougu to just be aware of it i have to act on it #and change it. but im exhausted and hurting right now and i have been for years and i need to heal first but what if this is healing. #idk. i rambled on that for much longer than i thought i would so nowim gonna say the second thing in a separate post. and it’ll be weird to #post about that in light of this and it’ll be weird to post this at all. but its been weighing on me so heavily today and i don’t want #anyone to think im ignoring them or not aware of being like this or whatever. and posting into the void is easier than telling individual #people to your faces even though i know it’s cowardly. im really truly sorry. i will try to get better once i have the strength to try. #actually yeah no not gonna say the second thing yet. it would be weird to say it now. this needs to sit a little first

[lockoutkey]

.

#so after a month long stint of dealing with horrific intrusive thoughts and boarderline psychotic episodes i gave away my cat #who basically caused it all #and despite knowing its what’s best i just feel empty #i never make these posts cause i don’t really bring personal like on here unless it’s work or irls #but holy shit this entire month has destroyed me #i love jack so much though and now he’s gone #i know he’s gonna go to a better home #but god it hurts so bad #i wanted my house to be silent but now that it is it’s like #idk how i’ll like without something or someone else #i can’t remember how to

[moyurukoda]

If I see a morally grey, self destructive, pathetic middle aged man I will put him in my brain and make him my entire personality. Every goddamn time

#harry du Bois? that is me. he just like me fr #also I will rant disco elysium thoughts tor the rest of the tags now #(also also any disco elysium fans please make yourselves known I Need to see more content from this fandom on my dash) #it was a fun game!! #i wasn’t invested initially but like an hour or so in I became Hooked #the like. traits mechanic I can’t remember what its called was really interesting #I didnt realise how much it truly affected the narrative until I tried talking about the ruby confrontation #with a friend who had started the game at the same time as me #and she was shocked about what I did in my playthrough becquse it wasn’t even an option for her #theres so many special and funny moments that I encountered in my playthrough #and I didnt even go through the thought cabinet that much so I definitely missed dome stuff #especisllly with the church and la responsibilite #also the horrific necktie quest #but I purposefully stopped that pne because the tie was annoying to me fhfbdndn #idk how I feel about the end fully #I was a bit disappointed that (SPOILERS) #the killer wasn’t someone we had met prior though he was still an interesting character #and the ending felt rather anticlimactic after the tribunal #but apart from that it was still great #speaking of #THE TRIBUNAL?? HOLY SHIT THERE WASNT EVEN A TIME LIMIT BUT THAT WAS TENSE #I didnt save rhat many people :( #titus Alain and eugene were the only survivors i think #also the fucking authority check to tell Kim someone was behind him?? #terrifying i think I legit yelped KIM NO when it came up #he really trusted me though so it was still a high percentage chance but still if I rolled snake eyes i would’ve been distraught #(side note Kim is definitely my favourite character #cuno is in second place which I did not expect but I always loved interacting with him) #other parts of the ending that destroyed me included the final dream sequence cuz. holy shit. #i cried maybe a little maybe a lot

[ringneckedpheasant]

i wouldn’t say that my parents are ““accepting”” of my ““lifestyle”” but it’s been sooo long since my mom has asked me abt having kids and also last time i brought alistair to their house i was constantly referring to my parents as his grandma and grandpa and when i left my dad was like “come back soon alistair :-)” like. he actually enjoys it when i bring him over whereas he’s complained Literally every single time one of my siblings has brought a dog over

#hoping that the word ‘alistair’ is far enough into this post that people will be able to infer that it’s abt the cat #i’d be like ‘alistair go sit with grandpa’ and my dads only response would be to go ‘ksksksk’ like he always does w cats #he’s one of those people who claims to dislike animals but Doesn’t Actually #like their cat now. used to be my cat but i couldn’t take her #with me when i moved out and she hates dogs so she can’t live w me now #she’s also kind of old. if he really didn’t want her around he’d give her to a shelter or [redacted] #but he’s been taking care of this deaf cat for the better part of 7 years #marc.txt #creamsicle warden #*having said that abt dogs though he does Sort of like my sister’s dog #almost said dogs and then remembered that meeka had to be put down this summer 😔 #he just. doesn’t like having them in his house or on his property #and he never wanted to take care of them which I Think is due to being forced to take care of his older brother’s pets #when he got bored with them. at least one of those pets being a puppy that he’d rescued #from the side of the road that then turned out to be a very large dog named Samson #in my uncles defense i think he also went to jail for the attempted bank robbery around this time? so idk how much of it was #just ‘boredom.’ who knows he’s dead now can’t ask him

[aubreyprc]

lol remember that time i told you all about a hotchniss fic based on season 1 meredith and derek and then never posted it that was so wild of me actually i don’t even know where it is now

#whoops #oh well #am i back? no i don’t think so but also i have so much brain rot to discuss i have about . four new ships #911 buddie???? rotting away over them everyday #who else #can’t remember right now head so full over 911 #hotchniss remain in my heart though <3 maybe i will find this fic for you (and me)

[spookyboywhump]

Jet my beloved

Link

#picrews #my oc’s #Jet #I just care him….. #I’ve been working out what more of his life Before was like #even though he can’t really remember any of it #I think his brother has always been really shitty to him and their parents enabled it #so he fucked off the day he turned 18 #and stopped speaking to them #he wanted a relationship with them really bad he just. couldn’t stand them anymore #I feel like he was wanting to become a car mechanic and was working towards that #he just strikes me as someone who would enjoy that kind of work #he was probably living with friends or roommates or something #and now he’s. here #and he doesn’t remember any of that #and he doesn’t remember how to even exist. without Anastasia #he doesn’t know how to be anything other than her guard dog

[deus-ex-mona]

scenes that totally happened: part 1

#in other news chapter 4 of idol sengen is ✨long✨ and a ✨pain✨ to clean… especially since i can’t redraw lmaoooo _(:3 」∠)_ #so yupp!! for the ~3 or so people who actually read my idol sengen tls… i’m so sorry ಥ‿ಥ esp wrt the cleaning ಥ‿ಥ #but once this chapter’s done i’ll finally be able to move on to the yet-untranslated content yayyyyyy #but before that… i’ll tl chapter 30 of mona’s main story later (if i remember) bc that’s p. much the epilogue of the whole thing #i’m not touching chapters 1-29 though bc that’s just the idol sengen novel— #wait a min… just when exactly did i turn into a translator…? just where did i go wrong along the wayyyy~? #then again i won’t have this much free time if i get employed (5.5 days work weeks ahoyy~! rip to my saturdays) so ig i’ll tl while i can? #and that’s it for my tag-based tl updates of the day!! thanks for reading (if you did) and drink lots of water to stay hydrated!!!! #inedible blubbering #染BODY ONCE TOLD ME— #shibaclown saturday #yeah it’s now sunday where i’m at but i haven’t gone to sleep yet so i still count it as saturday s h u s h—

[vanivanvanilla]

rek and a couple of other youtubers were in a dream i had last night

#van speaks #drew gooden and kurtis conner were also there?? for some reason??? rek wasn’t even physically there like drew and kurtis #us + some other random ppl were on the phone w rek #in the dream rek was talking and became really glitchy so a few ppl were like ‘hey ur glitching we can’t understand u’ #so when rek fixed it and asked if it was better sounding i was like ‘yeah it sounds good now’ and the person next to me (idk who he was) #called me a simp 💀 i remember in the dream i yelled at him (it was loud where we were) ‘i’m a lesbian! dick!’ although the guy couldn’t hear #me #while yelling that though dream me realized i kind of was a rek simp???? idk how to feel abt that lmao