#can yall let me know if theres any tags you think i should add??

[lazyfox411]

Spiderman: Afraid of Water (ft. Irondad)

im back from the dead yall with a fic i promised @spiderling-the-meme​ a long time ago and never ended up finishing until now. 

Length: 1904 words (a short boi)

Prompt: i honestly dont even remember what the actual prompt was my dude i just know you asked for peter being afraid of water after his experience of being dumped in a lake by the vulture and tony accidentally triggering that fear while theyre on vacation with irondad and spiderson feels so….thats basically what this is lol

Peter used to enjoy long showers. A relaxing flow of warm water, clouds of steam, and the fresh scent of soaps and shampoos. It was all enjoyable. Key word being was.

               Now, stepping under that warm stream meant reliving. This water was warm, but not all water was warm. This water didn’t surround him like a dark wall of nothingness, but some water had. He could still breath under the shower water, didn’t sink into what seemed like an endless abyss, but that wasn’t true for all water.

               Being in the water meant reliving. Reliving the night he’d been dumped in a lake and left to die, the glow of the Vulture’s eyes still refracting through the ripples. He hadn’t given it a second thought at first, but then he’d notice hid heart rate going up, the hairs on his arms raising, his breath getting short. He’d pinned it on the spidey-senses, some sort of danger near by, only he couldn’t seem to find anything wrong. It only dawned on him when he looked at all the places it reoccurred: the beach, the rain, the shower. He was afraid of the water.

               So now, Peter took shorter showers. Just to get clean, not to relax. When Aunt May offered to take him to the beach, or the pool, he politely passed. He didn’t go out in the rain unless he had to, and never without an umbrella. And no one questioned it.

               Today there were no clouds looming over the city, so Peter decide he would be safe without an umbrella. If anything, it would be snowing today; with winter temperatures blowing in earlier than usual.

               Peter stared out the window whenever he could at school that day, not to watch the weather, but rather to avoid watching the whiteboard at the front of the class. School seemed so boring now that he was Spiderman, but he had promised Aunt May and Mr. Stark that grades would come first. He might have had his fingers crossed when the subject of precalculus came up.

               “Mr. Parker,” droned the precal teacher, Mrs. Traff, a middle-aged woman with wrinkled hands and massive red glasses, “since you’re not paying attention, I can only assume you already know the material?” Her voice didn’t waver, but her sharp eyes pierced through him.

               “Absolutely,” Peter lied, hoping his voice didn’t squeak.

               “Then perhaps you’d like to provide an answer for question number two?”

               Peter nodded, slowly, as if buying time would help him in the slightest. He saw Ned waving at him from the corner of his eye, mouthing something that looked like ‘five’.

               “Five,” he answered.

               A collective wave of muffled laughter passed over the other students. Peter’s face heated.

               “Five?” Mrs. Traff repeated incredulously. “Mr. Parker, you are telling me that you believe there are currently five states in our country?”

               No one bothered to hide their laughs this time. Where just a moment ago he was beet red, Peter knew now he looked like a sheet. He looked around the room, only really seeing it now. “This…this isn’t precalculus,” he said stupidly. He was in a history room. Mrs. Traff was his history teacher. Ned was trying to say ‘fifty’.

               Fridays usually carried good vibes, but the day did not get any better after that. Between taunts of ‘Penis Parker’, Ned accidentally blurting that Peter still had a nightlight in his room (really though, Peter had to wonder, what was so wrong with that?), and a freezing cold walk home, Peter was downright miserable upon returning home.

               “What’s the matter, Spider-man?” May ruffled his hair.

               Peter liked when she called him that. When it came from May, it wasn’t a superhero name. It was just a nickname, like squirt or sport, holding only love and affection, and not the weight of the fate of the city. May was supporting him. After laying some ground rules—a lot of ground rules—and a lot of yelling at Mr. Stark, May was supporting him as Spider-man.

               “I’m okay, Aunt May,” Peter said.

               May tsked and smoothed his hair back down. “I know what’ll cheer you up.”

               Peter raised an eyebrow.

               “Tony Stark called today, asking for you.”

               “Me?” Peter asked, like she would be referring to anyone else. “Like, me, as in Peter Parker? Personally?”

               “Yup,” May said, popping the ‘p’.

               “What did he want?”

               “He asked if you’d like to accompany him to an expo this weekend. In Miami.”

               Peter’s eyes widened to saucers. From what he’d seen in the media, Mr. Stark’s expos were nothing short of amazing. A whole variety of guests, from college students sporting backpacks and sweaters to millionaires in extravagant suits sipping fancy drinks, a big inspirational speech from Mr. Stark, and all the newest ground-breaking technology that SI was funding.

               “I can go?” Peter asked.

               May pretended to think about it. “I suppose. If you promise to be good. No taking on supervillains. Or staying up past bedtime.”

               Peter was already bounding to his room to start packing. “I’ll be good, Aunt May, promise! I’ll be so good! The best!”

               May chuckled. “You already are, Spider-man.”

A sleek black car pulled up outside Peter’s apartment early the next morning. He couldn’t see through the tinted windows, but there was no doubt in his mind that this was one of Mr. Stark’s cars.

               A quick goodbye to May later, Peter was getting in the car. Part of him had been expecting Happy to jump out and open the door for him, but the window rolled down and over the purr of the engine and blaring AC/DC came Mr. Stark’s voice from the driver’s seat, “Come on, kid, we can’t afford to be late.”

               “Happy isn’t taking us?” Peter asked. He’d never admit it, and he knew Happy wouldn’t either, but he was pretty sure they were actually getting along really well.

               Tony smiled, a different kind of smile, like he wasn’t quite sure of himself. “I figured we could go it just the two of us,” he said. “If that’s okay.”

               “Yeah,” Peter grinned. “That’s cool.”

               It was really cool. Mr. Stark had sort of become like a father to Peter. A rich, famous, awkward, bad-at-feelings, superhero father, but a father nonetheless. And if Tony wanted to spend time with Peter? Maybe Peter had become like a son.

               The thought made him glow.

               They talked about Peter’s school, and Miami, and how great it would be to escape the ever-dropping temperatures, and listened to music too loud and bought ice cream and got a parking ticket (“I’m so sorry Mr. Stark I’ll pay for it I swear!” “Kid. Seriously?”), and while it wasn’t a regular road trip, Peter didn’t think he’d ever had a better one.

               Tony handed the car over to the hotel valet and their luggage to the bellhop. Peter had never been in a fancy hotel before. He wondered if they were all like this, or if he was just getting special treatment because he was with Tony Stark. Either way, it was pretty cool.

               “Expo isn’t until tomorrow,” Tony explained while Peter gawked at the luxurious sweet they would be staying in, “so tonight’s for doing whatever you want, kiddo. I mean…Pete. Peter.”

               “Cool,” Peter said absentmindedly. He didn’t notice Tony’s little slip; he was too enraptured with exploring the bathroom he was pretty sure was bigger than his entire apartment. “I mean, uh, yeah,” he cleared his throat, “cool.”

               “I think there’s an arcade downstairs,” Tony suggests. “Or we could go find the pool.”

               Peter has remembered to pick his jaw up off the floor now, but is still staring, wide-eyed, at the art pieces that adorn the walls of the hotel room, and not really hearing a thing that’s being said.

               “That sounds good,” Peter says, still distracted.

               He only realizes what he’s agreed to once he’s standing on the small tiles of the pool’s edge, clad in a pair of swim trunks May must have packed in his bag, and being suffocated by the strong scent of chlorine.

               They’re the only people here, and Tony has already dived into the water, and he looks very happy, instead of being terrified and looking for the nearest exit like one other particular person in the room.

               “Come on, Pete!” he calls. “The water is nice!”

               Peter’s throat tightens. “Um, I- uh,” he stammers, trying to think up some sort of excuse, but Mr. Stark is waiting for him, eyes twinkling and water dripping from his dark hair, and Peter doesn’t want to disappoint him so he makes his way forward on shaking legs.

               He crouches by the very edge of the pool, despite the thousand alarms going off in his head, and Tony swims over to him.

               “Come on,” Tony says again, reaching out for Peter’s arm. Peter freezes when water droplets make contact with his bare skin.

               Tony, still smiling, unaware of how close to hyperventilating Peter is, takes a gentle hold of his arm, and tugs. It’s meant to be gentle, an attempt to coax him, and it is, really, except that Peter isn’t very focused right now and it’s enough to send him over the ledge into the water.

               The temperature is uneven, a swirl of cold and warm, separate, but still mixed, and the water is wet and it’s everywhere and it’s heavy, why is does it feel heavy, and why is there no air, why can’t he breathe, he’s thrashing, sinking, why won’t his body swim, the breath leaves him in a stream of bubbles, where’s the air, he can’t breathe—

               A strong pair of hands pulls him back up to the surface.

               “Mr. Stark,” Peter manages between coughing up water and sucking in air, “I’m sorry, I—”

               “It’s okay,” Tony says, and in true Tony Stark fashion starts rambling, “it’s okay, Pete, just breathe. I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry, I shouldn’t have pulled you into the water like that, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know you couldn’t swim—”

               “No,” Peter interrupts, “it’s not that. It’s not that, it’s…ever since that one time, with the Vulture, he dropped me into that lake, and I thought I was gonna die, Mr. Stark, and I would have if you didn’t come and save me, and ever since then, the water just…scares me.”

               And just like that, Tony is scooping him up like he’s a little kid, and carrying him out of the pool room. He gives Peter a towel to dry off, and looks at him, with his hands on Peter’s shoulders.

               “How come you never told me?” Tony asks.

               Peter can breathe better now that he’s away from the water, and he is silently glad Tony knew what he needed to make him feel better. He’s not glad about the guilty look that paint’s Mr. Stark’s face, Mr. Stark isn’t—Tony isn’t supposed to like that.

               Peter shrugs. “It’s not your fault, Mr. Stark. I guess it just never really came up.”

               “Will you tell me next time? If there’s ever something bothering you, I want to help.”

               A nod.

               “Well,” Tony says, straightening and moving to stand, “that’s certainly enough swimming for tonight. Or forever. What do you say we go back up to the room and watch a movie instead? I think we can probably pay-per-view Star Wars or something.”

               “That sounds great,” Peter grins. He means it this time.

#irondad and spiderson #peter parker #tony stark #iron man #spiderman #hurt/comfort #angst #kinda i guess lol #references to drowning #aunt may #prompt fill #can yall let me know if theres any tags you think i should add?? #thanks!!! #also lmk if yall see any glaring errors lol im tired and my proofreading skills want me to sleep #also I apologize if it formatted weird lol idk tumblr is weird

[shattered-catalyst]

OCD Subtypes for the RPC

Part 1 is here

Well well well, we are back for Part 2 of the Roleplayer’s Guide to OCD.

Fellow Ocd Folks, I see you in those tags and I'm going to do my best to ensure those obsessions are represented here- BUT understand that physically it is not going to be possible to list every single one because I am one person.  Regardless its incredibly brave of you all to rb and add things in the tags, I know its hard to talk about this shit and I see you. I see you.

Resultantly I typed this out and posted it in formatting to assist with accessibility in mind; if you cannot read it still ( I tried Im sorry!) i recommend the copy and paste method or getting the chrome extension bee-line reader.

 There will be grammatical and spelling mistakes. Im sure spacing is odd some places, but you have to understand doing this is extremely anxiety provoking for me so Im just getting it done when I can.

Remember to use your critical thinking; not everyone has the same symptoms/compulsions/triggers and all that.

OCD is fluid. Its like liquid mercury. One day its a handful of subtypes another day its another different serving.

If you are in general squicked about certain topics even by mention read ahead with your own judgement. Remember us folks that have OCD have many disturbing and distressing experiences so if you are writing a character who has OCD and you can’t read about it just don’t give them that obsessive thought/ compulsion. Make sure writing is still a safe and enjoyable hobby for yourself first and foremost.

But ethically and morally I cannot and will not leave out the more disturbing bits. You have the ability to scroll by, I and many others do not get the chance to escape triggering content that our own mind creates.

So read ahead with your best judgement or at least skip around the squicky parts and educate yourself on what OCD is so people quite using it as a Obsessive Christmas/Corgi/Cat Disorder thing. Alright? Cool beans.

Okay so you made it passed post 1 and got under the read more. Give yourself a gold star for diving into this monster of a document.

Below is a crash course it is not meant to replace actual psychoeducation, personal research, or google. Honestly most of us do our research extensively but because OCD is treated so horribly by social media, media, and society in general.

I wasn’t sure where to throw these together because the education tools to learn fully about OCD are very specialized and thus very restricted. I found that many people DO have these experiences with OCD though so I will represent them throughout. I’ll also sprinkle some of my own experiences so you can get a good reference of a person who has the disorder and not just a randomly generated person.

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So OCD is made up of Obsessions, Trigger, Intrusive thought, Misinterpretation/feared consequence,Somatic and Psychological Anxiety, and Compulsions/Rituals.

Your character may not be able to list all of these. In fact if they aren't in ERP therapy they may not be able to puzzle these things out. But YOU as the writer should know them. Your character won’t be walking around talking to just ANYONE that they have OCD. Remember a huge aspect of OCD is it’s Shame.  The disorder makes us feel intense shame regarding our intrusive thoughts, as a result OCD goes undiagnosed for years especially if it has pediatric onset.

  We won’t tell anyone what we are experiencing or why we are doing x y or z. We act like nothing is wrong because to emotionally react is to admit to yourself- and therefore the world- that you have had this intrusive thought and are therefore by virtue a horrible person.[For further information I would suggest also researching PANDAS].

It may be noticeable if your character has an intrusive thought. They may wince or grimace or roll their eyes certainly, but they won’t open up to Joe at the cafe about how their brain is constantly torturing them. I apparently have a very noticeable eye twitch.

 Depending on the nature of the intrusive thought it will get more or less of a reaction out of me. Its usually dependent on how distressing the intrusive thought is and/or if its a new one.

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You see OCD doesn’t sit still. It never looks the same. You’ll have your long haul intrusive thoughts that are with you for years but then you’ll have weird ass ones that just appear and demand their voice be heard yelling about cars hitting people or squirrels getting eaten.

Some people have similar ones! So while everyone is different there will always be someone out there with an intrusive thought similar to yours.

 For instance; I bonded emotionally with a lady on reddit because we both have intrusive thoughts during storms that animals and the homeless are dying. We were both horribly relieved to find another person and also distressed that every snow or rain storm brings horrible images and whispers to your mind that while you are warm and snug in bed someone is freezing to death. And its all your fault.

Some days are better than others. As with all mental illnesses it isn’t CONSTANT ALARM BELLS. Some days it will be all alarms and other days it will be like a gentle whisper on the breeze. You can almost not notice it. Almost.

Obsessive thoughts run the gauntlet from ‘i will/could have/may/may accidentally harm etc’ something that you hold of value. This is any obsessive thought that you have: you think about repeatedly and not by choice, it is very anxiety provoking, it is unwanted, and unwelcome.

 Mine run the scale from ‘squirrel will be murdered’ to ‘being responsible for harm’.

Compulsions or ‘rituals’ are any behavior done to alleviate the anxiety from the intrusive thought and trigger object. In short, compulsions and rituals are not fun. they are absolutely not logical, and we know they are not logical but we are forced to do them. Thats why its a disorder. 

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To emphasize from post 1: magical thinking and the faulty link between thoughts and actions are hallmarks of OCD.  Magical thinking can be anything from contamination to if I turn around three times or stare really hard at something the bad thing wont happen. Sounds weird and is weird and we know it is thats why its a disorder and not a delusion.

The faulty belief that thought=action is the biggest hurdle it is incredibly difficult to grasp, at least for me maybe some of you that have done further ERP can attest, that the mere concept of a thought not being the same as an action is completely and totally mind blowing.

Free will? Yeah thats terrifying. IDK about anyone else but free will is absolutely terrifying; what do you mean i could do anything i wanted?

Thats how you face OCD(WITH A TRAINED THERAPIST). You give in to ambiguity and the unknown. Its breaking that link between thought and action. Its incredibly difficult and draining. A five minute exposure leaves me in shatters for a week and two five minute ones had me ripping my nails past the nail beds with anxiety.

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Just a reminder: Do not have your character expose themself or expose folks with OCD to a trigger to “ help us get over with”. That is literally forcing someone with a mental illness into a break down and is not helpful. In fact its worse because a person knows about this intrusive thought and they tried to make it real. More shame and some trauma. 

If you have OCD, more likely than not a family member or significant other has tried this with the purest of intentions. But it never works like that. Theres a reason that therapists get special training for this. If people want a post on ERP I can make one at some point. 

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Actually let’s drag me with the squirrel thing as the example- fellow OCD Folks get out a pen and paper and try breaking down one of yours;

Obsession:Squirrel will be murdered

Trigger: seeing a squirrel

 Intrusive thought: Graphic images of a squirrel being murdered by a hawk/ impaling depending on the day

Misinterpretation/feared consequence: Squirrel will be killed and its all my fault

Somatic and Psychological Anxiety:intense anxiety, palms sweating, heart racing,

Compulsions/Rituals: Must stare at the squirrel to prevent bad things from happening, 

Now imagine if that is every time you see a fucking squirrel. You have somehow become completely and totally transfixed on a squirrel and nothing is going to pull your attention away or the squirrel dies- which your mind is giving you lovely images of btw.

Cute right?

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Below are the subtypes with general information/example thoughts/ and how some of these have impacted me socially because apparently some people dont understand that mental illnesses impact their social lives?? yall...

Social: This can range from ‘ i am constantly thinking i did something wrong so i have to ask for reassurance that we are still friends’ to completely unrealistic worries. Maybe its an intrusive thought that ‘ your voice is annoying them’ . There’s reassurance seeking, internal and external checking.

 It makes friendships extremely difficult and exhausting. You’re not trying to get to know someone with an annoying frat boy egging on anxiety in your brain. This can also manifest as having strict rules for yourself and ethical codes. 

My therapist likes to say she could give us (folks with OCD) a pile of hundred dollar bills and come back and they’d all be returned. Because OCD makes you so strict and morally confined. Which ISNT fun. Like I dont get pleasure over having to memorize the entire Code of Conduct!

Social Media: Its the bane of human existence some days and a lifeline the next. But what if everytime your follower count was an odd/even number it sent you into a panic attack. What if you spent all your time with intrusive thoughts that somehow someone misinterpreted a post or that someone is going to be harmed by a post you made about tapirs. 

You may be forced to block people to get your number down or keep pornbots on your blog to keep your number what you like (see there is a use for them! We sacrifice those before actual users!) You may be refreshing your page every second because ‘what if you miss a message’. It's going to look a lot like ‘check check check check reassure yourself double check your posts check check check reassure check check FALSE MEMORY check your post etc’

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Clothing/Body Image: When its not Body Dysmorphia it can be OCD. Sometimes this looks like I obsess about a body part and therefore I choose my clothes/hairstyles to hide those.  Some personal examples: as a kid I was sure that mind readers exist ( THIS IS AN OCD THING TOO I was so relieved to find that out) and that if i didnt wear  a particular hat they would see all these horrible thoughts and it would be revealed what an awful person I was. So I wore the same dumb ass bucket hat for a year (or more I cannot remember but it was a long ass time).

I was once so fixated on being given a compliment on my eye color that I wore sunglasses (even at night) to a summer camp. And if any of those teen girls in that cabin that stood up and mocked me in a crowded lunch hall by singing ‘i wear my sunglasses at night’ you all owe me 40$.

Even younger still I had intrusive thoughts. Like say, if anyone noticed I was female that i would be kidnapped so I chopped my hair very short. I altered my appearance to be very androgynous and even switched to walking more masculine. Because omg if your hips move someones going to kill you thats just how it works. ( It doesnt help I later figured out I was a lesbian)

Your wardrobe may be impacted by OCD and yes so can your body image.

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Also yes the fear of mind readers is also a thing; i always thought I was somehow faking OCD because yes that is also a…..

Faking: Do you value telling the truth? Do you detest lying ? Boy Howdy do I have some news for you. OCD is going to try and convince you that YOU LIED. Whether it was on a chastity pledge to get a free sandwich or in a conversation you just HAD. This links a lot with false memory OCD.

Another aspect is OCD makes us doubt we have OCD and tries to convince us we have any other diagnosis under the sun and we are obviously faking our OCD.

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Sexual Orientation OCD; It is as it is called. Sexual Orientation OCD is what happens when your brain goes ‘hold on what if you’re not this orientation what if you are THAT’. It doesn’t matter where on the LGBT umbrella you fall you will have OCD trying to convince you otherwise. From compulsive staring at members of the same/opposite gender to compulsively reassuring or checking with yourself to ensure that ‘ no no you are in fact THIS orientation.’ 

This can range in behavior from binge watching porn, staring compulsively to check that there is OR is NOT attraction,self checking past experiences and memories, analyzing your clothing and your lifestyle in painful and intricate methods.

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False Memory OCD; False memory OCD is basically your brain sitting you in a noir interrogation room, handcuffing you to a chair grilling you. It demands that you did *insert bad thing here*. This can range from anything from something Harm based to pretty much *anything* from other OCD subtypes. Which is quite delightful really.

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Sensorimotor OCD; Sensorimotor OCD is obsessive body responses. These can be ‘ I have to cough really hard and really feel it right in my chest and if I can’t get it right I have to cough until I do’. This can be counting your heartbeats. Trying to check yourself that you in fact have a heart and checking and reassuring that it is still beating. It can be hyper-awareness of swallowing or even swallowing repeatedly. It is anything with selective attention; ie its an automated process but your OCD is forcing you to be aware of it.

Your OCD makes you aware of the sensation of, say, breathing, and then it convinces you that if you stop paying attention to it you will stop breathing. So now you’re horribly aware and focused solely on breathing and breathing alone. It keeps me up most nights with the pounding anxiety fueled by the pressure of ‘if you stop focusing on breathing you will stop breathing completely’ or waiting to feel that last heartbeat in your chest. 

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Existential OCD; You ever feel existential ? Existential OCD is like having a very aggressive existential crisis that turns you into NEEDING answers IMMEDIATELY. This can look anything from hours panic scrolling the net to panic inducing anxiety because you don't know what happens after death. The thoughts are like foghorns on a misty sea.

This sounds basic and the only example i can give is as a teeny tiny 7 year old I had a panic attack in bed screaming that ‘ what if im a dinosaur and im asleep and i wake up and my whole family is GONE’.

To be fair I did like dinosaurs a lot.

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Harm OCD; This is pretty self explanatory but I will give more details. Harm OCD is OCD demanding that you will/could/can/may have/might harmed yourself/others/any living creature and that you alone are responsible. 

This means anything from getting anxious driving over crosswalks because ‘what if you dont see one and hit someone and its all your fault and you hit someone go back and make sure you havent hit anyone’ to ‘im holding a knife so im going to accidentally stab someone’ to ‘ i didnt see my cat this morning and now im at work and think she must be dead and i am responsible for her demise.’

 It can be as simple as ‘if i use a pencil i will stab myself in the eye’ or as complex as ‘ i may accidentally say a slur’/ ‘ i am going to say this horrible thing out loud if i cannot control myself.’ It can also be images of terror or racist/sexist/ableist jokes in your mind that repeat like a broken record.

(Please note from section 1 that this is extremely anxiety provoking and not something you would do. OCD preys on what we respect the most.)

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pOCD; Tumblr listen the fuck up because I am tired of seeing people get called shit on this website for having this mental illness. People who experience pOCD are not pedophiles, they do not get any pleasure or benefit. The thoughts and images are meant to induce harm to the person experiencing them. Children are normally the trigger for this and the resulting images can be very graphic. Again you aren’t attracted to children- thoughts of them getting harmed hurt you so your OCD makes you see them.

Know this so you can advocate for folks with pOCD in real life. Remember we are here. We are suffering and we are terrified of your children.

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Poisoning others/or in your food; Life isn’t medieval anymore but sometimes OCD demands we have a food taster or that we obsessively worry that we may kill someone with our cooking. Personally I struggle with colorblindness so I am constantly fretful over cooking any sort of meat so it’s difficult for me to cook it.

 However this also comes as; obsessive horrible thoughts of your cooking kill someone or that you have somehow/accidentally poisoned someone’s food (even if you haven’t touched it or been within a foot of it ) or that someone has poisoned YOUR food even if no one has touched it except you. You’re going to be picking apart your food or unable to eat out at all.

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Emotional Contamination: It’s similar to magical thinking and this terrifying prospect of mind readers. Emotional contamination can manifest as anything from intense worry over somehow gaining someone else’s negative personality traits.

 Or that somehow by interacting with any role of someone horrible will make YOU somehow also responsible for the horribleness.  There is usually a person or a type of person that is a trigger, but it can also be location based.

 This is one subtype where magical thinking and superstition are apparent.  

For instance; as a teen if a male was in my space or had physical contact;like shaking hands,giving a high five, being in my room etc. I would have to go around and physically touch all the objects that I perceive they may have also touched as a way to cancel out their presence. 

This includes wiping off myself to negate even the touch of family members. It really hurts peoples feelings, my father was especially hurt by this.

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Physical Contamination: This goes beyond physical dirt and grime. Most of us dont have spotless homes because if you’re having a fist fight with your brain everyday cleaning falls by the wayside just like it would for anyone else. Physical contamination holds 2 things: physical contamination obsessions AND compulsive cleaning behaviors/rituals. We believe that a small amount of a contaminate can cover large surfaces.

 Oh, and did I mention its not JUST dirt/germs/viruses. The list is expansive but heres a mixed bag of what they can be: sticky substances,dead animals,glitter (FUCKING GLITTER),negative words or language,colors, numbers, surfaces in general, food, people, and activities.  There is also a hyper responsibility to protect yourself and others from ‘contamination’.

Strangely there is a magical separation between the contaminated world and the ‘clean’ one. Spaces designated as clean would be a bedroom/bathroom/workspace where you are most active. That space is where the compulsions and intrusive thoughts occur. Its not I MUST CLEAN EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME. Otherwise I would be working cleaning houses because why the hell not amiright?

A real world example from a colleague would be a young man with physical contamination OCD is struck with such intrusive thoughts about cleaning that they refuse to allow anyone in their room or any animals in their home. But they are not able to even flush the toilet, take out the trash, wash dishes, or do garbage because of their intrusive thoughts.

The most famous would be compulsive hand washing but I feel it is important to also note OTHER aspects of physical contamination because everyone sees the hand scrubbing stereotype. 

Other compulsions include intricate rituals, not touching the floor (i played X-treme the floor is lava during college. I couldnt let my feet touch the floor because it was ‘dirty’),excessive showering (2-8+ hour showers guys, 8 hour showers. Thats what we’re talking about.)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Relationship OCD: This comes as no surprise that yes you will have intrusive thoughts that you are somehow harming/ will harm/ may accidentally harm your significant other. Whether that be by physical or emotional means. It can look like ‘ I may have lied to her about how much I love her’, ‘ i may not actually love her and I may be leading her on’, and ‘ I must be corrupting her’. These can extend to certain physical activities with false memory OCD as a cherry on top. A great finishing garnish to leave you feeling absolutely dismayed and unable to trust your own perception.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scrupulosity: Religion! Whatever that may be! Its a thing with OCD.  With Scrupulosity obsessive thoughts run all over the board from; you committed a sin and forgot about it you monster to having to pray continuously/ a certain time/ until its right. What is right?Ask OCD that’s the only person who knows. 

We are fairly certain my grandfather had OCD because he went to church for every single Catholic Mass. Every single day. Every. Single. Day.  That’s not a healthy amount of attendance(I'm calling you out posthumously because I care Robert!). This can also look like: praying a certain amount of times. Praying until you do it ‘right’. Confessing every single potential sin. Cataloguing and dwelling over ‘sinful’ things. 

----------------------------------------------------------

Symmetry or Just Right OCD: Symmetry OCD is the runner up for ‘most likely recognized on tv shows’ award.

Symmetry OCD convinces you that if *insert thing here* isnt symmetrical or ‘just right’ (a magical position or number of objects that makes 0 logical sense) that something bad will happen.

This can range from the known; rearranging things. But it also looks like buying more objects until you reach the right amount and even throwing out objects if theres ‘too many’.

It can range from ‘the walls are percievably not straight so now i avoid that room at all costs otherwise i will be trapped traveling the edges of the wall with my eyes otherwise it will fall in and murder us ALL.’ to ‘ this historical bust is one inch off to the left and now all i see is visions of it breaking against the ground.’

So that is what I have time for. 9 pages on subtypes and basic information. If you find yourself wanting me information all of this is easily accessible online. So go, be free and dont ever compare people to Monk again. Write Batman and Scott Summers with OCD. Give us ACTUAL representation and not throw away joke lines. We are here. Our suffering isnt funny. We deserve representation too.

#OCD #writing help #OCD resources. #*drops 10 pages onto your dash* whoops

[itsmeevie01]

Bio Dad Bruce Day 16- Father-Daughter Dance (Gala Part 2)

As Marinette smiled at her friend’s antics, the girls had been standing on the edge of what would eventually become a dance floor. On the other side of the crowd, her father was mingling with Business partners that Tim hadn’t made it to. Dick had started to mingle with the socialites and Damien was scowling and standing close to the eldest. Out of the corner of her eye, Marinette could see Jason standing in a corner watching the room for trouble. Nearby, Cass was smiling and watching the crowds while Steph chatted with her. 

When Bruce moved, Marinette’s eyes tracked where he was going, until she realized that her father was going to greet the Agrestes. She knew that as soon as the duo had been greeted, they would separate and start to mingle. While almost at ease with any other guest at her father’s gala, Marinette was cautious about Adrien. He would react, she knew, but she wasn’t sure if it would be positive or negative. With the blond, it could go either way. As the girls watched the exchange apprehensively, a family came into view. The trio were dressed in matching greys and seemed to draw attention away from themselves. When the boy scanned the room, he locked eyes with Chloe and the heiress’ eyes widened before she moved to march over to him. As she made her way over, she pulled her two friends behind her, insisting that they keep pace. The blonde’s red gown swayed as she moved. Her eyes lasered onto the teen’s figure. “Felix! I was wondering when I would see you. Why haven’t you come to see me at the hotel?” the taller teen turned towards the trio with wide grey eyes.

“Chloe?” his parents turned to him, drawn to the conversation.

“Marinette, Alix, meet Felix Cupla. His family is close with my dad, and he is attending a private school in Paris.” Felix nodded to both of them and held out his hand to shake. As the four started to relax into conversation, Marinette scanned the older teen. He wore a well fitted suit, dress shoes, and shining silver cufflinks. His pale blue tie played with his ash blond hair. As he spoke, she could tell that he was observing her as well. When she went to focus back in on the conversation, the sound of a microphone coming to life caught the attention of the guests at the gala. Marinette turned to see her father standing on the raised platform that the musicians had been stationed on. Once he had everyone’s attention, Bruce Wayne started in on his welcome and thank you speech. As he spoke, Marinette noticed her brothers congregating together off to the side with Steph. The girl jumped slightly as her sister placed a hand on her shoulder and gestured for her to join the others. While the slipped off, Marinette sent her friends a small wave.

When her father came to join the quickly growing group off in the corner, the others quickly started talking all at once. Bruce held up his hand for silence. Once they had tapered off, he spoke to his children. “you know the drill. Pick someone to dance with without causing too much trouble. We want this to go smoothly. “while to others all nodded and started to disperse, Bruce held both Marinette and Damien back. “Marinette will dance with me, and Damien?” the boy turned towards their father, “please be nice to Miss Kyle. She has graciously agreed to dance with you for the family dance, but you have to treat her with at least a modicum of respect.” The boy scowled but nodded and stormed off to find his father’s girlfriend who he had taken to insulting. After watching Damien storm off, Bruce turned to Marinette. “Shall we?”

their own partners out. On the other side of the space, Marinette saw one of Tim’s friends walk Cass onto the floor. Even Steph had managed to snag one of her friends and guide them onto the floor. (Marinette would be willing to bet almost anything that there was a dare involved. If she had voiced her opinion, she would have been met with laughter and guilty glances. The only way Roy Harper would ever make it onto the dance floor was by dare.) When the conductor gave Bruce a small nod, he turned to Marinette and quirked an eyebrow at her. After the teen had nodded in agreement that she was ready, he sent a nod to the conductor and the father-daughter pair started to move. Bruce easily moved her though the easy steps of the dance. When they got closer to people, they could hear the whispers. Bruce Wayne had introduce Cass the same way, so it wasn’t a surprise, but the guests had thought the teen was too comfortable at the Gala to be new to the whole scene.

In the Crewe Group Chat (that night)

Chlo has added Felix C.

Felix C. has changed his name to Felix

Chlo: omg

Chlo: MARINETTE

Alix: Mari, you killed it!

Cho: Mari, you are duty bound to go to galas in Paris now.

Alix: MARI YOUR DANCING????

Adrien: I feel like a fool? WHY DIDN’T I PUT IT TOGETHER THAT YOU WERE BASICIALLY SAYING!

Nino: dude, we legit told you. You just continue to be denser than a brick.

Mari: lolololololololol

Mari: also, welcome Felix!

Adrien: oh yeah, Chloe, DID YOU HAVER TO ADD MY COUSIN?

Mari: wait…you two are cousins?

Chlo: see, you would know this, if you would have gone to a gala in Paris with me, M.

Kim: how did it go?

Nino: yeah M, did everything go well?

Alix: I know you were worried about dancing with your dad, but you looked fantastic. Did you enjoy it?

Mari: I did! It wasn’t nearly as stuffy as Jason made it out to be either…

Chlo: Marinette! I’ve told you! Your brother just doesn’t like cleaning up. Everyone knows that.

Mari: I mean… your right?

Mari: Oh! You should have seen Tim’s face when he saw the texts that Lila sent to the class GC

Nino: what did he say?

Mari: if this keeps up, she can expect a lawsuit.

Chlo: HA!

 Class Group Chat

Alya: Um

Alya: guys? Did any of you watch the red carpet?

Alya: or see the dancing?

Lila: what happened?

Alya: I’m not talking about you, Lila. I mean literally everyone but Chloe, Adrien, Alix, and Mari

Marinette: *Marinette

Alya: um, did I lose nickname privileges?

Chlo: bitch. You never had them?

Nino: I didn’t really pay much attention outside of Mari’s and Alix’s stories. Everyone knows that they have the best content.

Chlo: I still think that the dance that Tim and Mari had was the best!

Marinette: let’s just be happy my brother thought ahead and taught me to dance. Otherwise, he would have ended up making me look ridiculous.

Adrien: I’m still shocked Felix actually danced with you.

Chlo: true. He is a bit of a grumpy cat…

sorry this is crazy late! yall know ive been a lil busy... expect multipul posts a day starting tomorrow until i catch back up. ill cover what happens after the gala soon...

OMG theres a tag list.... @trippingovermyfeet @smolplantmum

#b!dbwm2020 #b!dbwm #bio!dad bruce wayne month 2020 #maribat #ml x dc #marinette dupen chang #My writing #please dont get mad at this... #i know its not my best...

[starrysence]

amusement park date hc’s with uhhh any ship you want i can’t choose

i already briefly did this for ralbert so i’m gonna do mike/jojo bc 1.) i love writing hcs for them and 2.) they just like? totally would go on amusement park dates y'know????warnings: ummm mike is an absolute disaster and gets himself hurt a lot so very small blood tw×××

●so y'know how showing affection publicly is a gradual thing for these two?? well the first date mike decides to bring jojo out on once he knows jo is comfortable w/ some pda is an amusement park date▪he REFUSES to tell jojo where theyre going until they get there▪kind of worried abt it bc what if jo hates amusement parks or something???? mikey here is in a lil bit of a panic▪but it goes down the drain the moment mike sees jojo’s face absolutely LIGHT UP when he sees where they are▪"we’re going on an amusement park date?!?!?!?!? ive always wanted to go on one of these dates oHmygosh!!!“▪hes SO EXCITED▪mike cant. he just? cant. he loves his bf so much●jojo is literally on the verge of BURSTING with excitement the entire time after they enter the place and mike loves it ▪he wants to go on all the craziest rides which actually kinda surprises mike??▪hes always thought of jo as the kind of person who would like simpler and slower rides▪but NOPE▪however,,, is mike opposed to this? no. absolutely not.▪"we should try and go on ALL the rollercoasters”▪"HECK YES"●mike is pretty clumsy not gonna lie▪at some point he cut his knee open on the corner of a metal table bc he tripped over a fuckin rock or something and jojo had to rush him to the car to bandage him up▪mike feels bad bc he knows jojo gets kinda queasy at the sight of blood▪but hes so impressed that jo’s being so chill handling this??? his boy is so strong. yes. look at him go▪"im really surprised you haven’t, like, fainted yet, jo"▪"don’t jinx it, i’ve gotten extremely close to passing out on you at least 6 times in the last 5 minutes"▪"youre so brave i love you"▪"i love you too. dont keep worrying me like this, you,,,,, you klutzy dork. please take care of yourself !!“▪'klutzy dork?’ thats the best insult jojo can muster?▪mike cant help but laugh and he Melts when jojo pouts at him for it▪"im sorry but? klutzy dork is the best you can do? youre so cute baby”▪then he like kisses jojo on the nose and jojo cant stay upset. boy starts smiling so wide mike is worried its hurting his cheeks●theyre LIVING for the amusement park food ▪jo gets SO HYPED when he sees that theres churros▪"can i get 3?“▪"babe theres 2 of us”▪"actually i meant 3 for me…. i wasnt sure how many you wanted though"▪"holy crap, jojo"▪hes is almost scared by the speed at which jojo eats the churros (after he offers some to mike, ofc)▪mike, on the other hand, lives for the classic Theme Park Pizza™▪not much to say here tbh▪he could eat several slices of that stuff▪jojo rlly has no place to judge▪he just finds it impressive ▪"9, huh? think thats a new record"▪"WOOOOOOOOO"●so they eat the food after going on all the rides they wanted to go on plus some, so they settle for some of the games!!!!!! jo wins mike a few prizes but mike kinda gets carried away and wins jojo a lot. so many things. they have to get a bag to hold it all its really funny, jojo is giggling the whole time and mike is so in Love▪and by the time theyre done bagging everything its getting dark out and these boys are getting tired▪so mike suggests ending their time there by going on the ferris wheel!!▪jojo is so on board yes ferris wheel w/ his bf LET’S GO▪the sun is setting around the time theyre on it and when theyre at the top jo sees mike in that lighting and???? what can i say. boy cant help himself▪he goes IN for that cheesy top-of-the-ferris-wheel kiss▪LO AND BEHOLD it IS their first kiss▪"wow wow wowow ow wow wosiw wo w weown ejdjfjfjfjjgkkds" -mike’s mind when jo kisses him▪its just???? everything you expect from these boys honestly▪soft. sweet. gentle. extremely loving and pure ▪theyre so wholesome yall my HEART●so mike is exhausted afterwards but he still thinks he should treat his lovely boyfriend to some dessert ▪mike knows theres a stewart’s at a gas station only about 15 minutes on the way to his place from the amusement park▪so they go there!!!▪jo is practically asleep in his seat so mike asks him what flavor he wants and tells him that he’ll get both orders from him▪"what?? no you dont have to do that…!!“▪mike can tell jojo is trying to be resistant but he can also tell jojo is extremely tired so he INSISTS▪jo tells mike his order and mike kisses him on the cheek before going to get their orders▪the ice cream wakes jo up for a little bit and they kinda just sit in the car talking for a lil while ●…….they dont get back home til the next day▪they went to like this REALLY GOOD amusement park several hours away and just got so exhausted at some point on the way back to mike’s place?? and caffeine Does Not work on mike. and jo’s already out cold and mike really doesnt wanna wake him▪so mike pulls up at the next service area and texts ike to let him know whats going on and then he just crashes y'know??▪they wake up the next day feeling EXTREMELY refreshed!! so they grab some breakfast from the service area and take their time eating it before continuing the drive back▪jo starts laughing bc he has like 50 missed calls and 704847385 texts from elmer and buttons (tHeY wErE rOoMmAtEs) and has to text them to tell them hes ok and hes gonna be at mike’s for a little while▪they had a Good Time

×××

wow i would honestly die for these two????? holy shit. i hope you like these!!!

-sanj 💕

tag list:

@but-let-us-seize-the-day​

@one-candy-cane-please​

@suddenly-im-respecsable​

@intoomanyfandomstopickaname​

@be-more-chill-evan-hansen​

@aw-jus-let-em-try

@bencookisagod​

@well-the-kids-do-too​

@auspicioustarantula​

@spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn​

@have-we-got-news-for-you​

@not-a-scab​

@newsiesgarbage​

@pineappapizza

@andthewoildwillknow​

@concrete–donuts​

@stopthe-presses​

@thomasbeingthomas

@i-love-loki-and-sherlock

@maxvanna

@spot-me50-papes

[if you want to be added to my tag list, please shoot me an ask or a message letting me know! i’d be happy to add you!]

#newsies #newsies live #newsies 1992 #jojo de la guerra #mike #mike and ike #jojo/mike #mike/jojo #sanj scribbles

[latenightbotanist]

I have feelings about the ode to joy and im going to dump them on you

At the time i am writing this part i have suffered through twenty two (22) hours of “ode to joy” repeated in my brains so you are gonna suffer with me now. Srsly, ask @madgronkish i kinda lost it around noon.. Anyways. First thought when i heard it was literally" theyre not going to fucking reunite them to THAT SONG??!?!“ Whilst i was wrong about sherlock driving the car…they still did that. Thanks mofftiss.

Ok now down to business. First off, DISCLAIMER, i am in no way qualified to do this? I dont know much about music and have like half an experience at writing meta? so..sorry in advance, maybe just look at this as inspiration and well..gay feelings bc i have enough of those to go around rn.

I will also tag some lovely people who actually know how to do this whole meta thing, and who knows, maybe one of you actually reads this mess and makes somethin out of it? Possibly? Idk, i dont blame you if you dont, really. @quietlyprim @loudest-subtext-in-tv @joolabee @hudders-and-hiddles @love-in-mind-palace @teapotsubtext @beejohnlocked @kinklock @marcelock @gaytectives @ormondsacker @culverton

So.. for all of you who dont know, ode to joy (originally “freude, schöner götterfunken”) is part of beethoven’s 9th symphony, it is the first ever symphony to incorporate voices, the lyrics mostly come from schillers “Ode an die Freude” and the melody itself has been the european anthem since 1972 (1985 if you insist on EU).

Ok so lets have a quick look at the lyrics(and i really mean quick, these are my notes from this morning, not exactly coherent but enough to get a general idea of my feelings about this, we’ll get into more detail later) i also put both the english and german version bc i felt at some points things got lost in translation, but honestly i dont know what to do about that so yeah, if you speak german, good for you, if not and by the end if this youre not bored to death and still have questions dont hesitate to ask i will awkwardly but gladly try to elaborate (this applies not only to lyrics btw)

O Freunde, nicht diese Töne!


Sondern laßt uns angenehmere anstimmen,


und freudenvollere.

/

Oh friends, not these sounds!


Let us instead strike up more pleasing


and more joyful ones!

(Literally lets have happier stories, also the score.. yes lets get the johnlock theme back,please)

Freude!
Freude! / Joy!
Joy!

Freude, schöner Götterfunken


Tochter aus Elysium,


Wir betreten feuertrunken,


Himmlische, dein Heiligtum!


Deine Zauber binden wieder


Was die Mode streng geteilt;


Alle Menschen werden Brüder,


Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

/ Joy, beautiful spark of divinity,


Daughter from Elysium, 

 
We enter, burning with fervour,             (Cant set the heart on fire if its

 
heavenly being, your sanctuary!              already burning w/ love, yall)


Your magic brings together 


what custom has sternly divided.               (Gayyyy!!!!!)


All men shall become brothers,           (Secret brothers,reunion…)


wherever your gentle wings hover.      

(Idk, mrs hudson is an angel?)

/

Wem der große Wurf gelungen,


Eines Freundes Freund zu sein;

 
Wer ein holdes Weib errungen,


Mische seinen Jubel ein!


Ja, wer auch nur eine Seele


Sein nennt auf dem Erdenrund

!
Und wer’s nie gekonnt, der stehle


Weinend sich aus diesem Bund!

/

Whoever has been lucky enough.         (Luckiest man in the world,


to become a friend to a friend,                 my only friend, … ) 

 Whoever has found a beloved wife,


let him join our songs of praise!               (Uh….how bout no?)


Yes, and anyone who can call one soul


his own on this earth!                                       (My john…..)


Any who cannot,

let them slink away
from this gathering in tears!   (Mary crying,then disappearing)

/

Freude trinken alle Wesen


An den Brüsten der Natur;


Alle Guten, alle Bösen


Folgen ihrer Rosenspur

.
Küsse gab sie uns und Reben,


Einen Freund, geprüft im Tod;*

(Like.. sherlock died and
 came back for john what more proof??)

 Wollust ward dem Wurm gegeben,

 
Und der Cherub steht vor Gott. 

Every creature drinks in joy


at nature’s breast;


Good and Bad alike


follow her trail of roses.                  (Good and bad, rosie, hmmmm)


She gives us kisses and wine,


a true friend, even in death;              (Or only in death?hey mary)


Even the worm was given desire,     (Mycroft? Nah,probs moriarty)


and the cherub stands before God.    (Sherlock, my lil cherub)

/

Froh, wie seine Sonnen fliegen

Durch des Himmels prächt'gen Plan,

 (Plans…ominous)


Laufet, Brüder, eure Bahn,

 
Freudig, wie ein Held zum Siegen.

Gladly, just as His suns hurtle


through the glorious universe,


So you, brothers, should run your course,             (the way it was always


joyfully, like a conquering hero.                                  meant to be…..) 

/

Seid umschlungen, Millionen!


Diesen Kuß der ganzen Welt!


Brüder, über’m Sternenzelt


Muß ein lieber Vater wohnen.


Ihr stürzt nieder, Millionen?


Ahnest du den Schöpfer, Welt?


Such’ ihn über’m Sternenzelt!


Über Sternen muß er wohnen.

/

Be embraced, you millions!


This kiss is for the whole world!             (,!!???? Like???????Yes pls)


Brothers, above the canopy of stars


must dwell a loving father.                                (Or two? Hey dads)


Do you bow down before Him, you millions?


Do you sense your Creator, o world?


Seek Him above the canopy of stars!


He must dwell beyond the stars.

Well that was……….. kinda gay. Yeah yeah i know its just a queer reading no i dont believe it was intended to be gay by either beethoven or schiller (or was it?? Irdk) but. in the context of the show. which is rather what were looking at. Pretty damn gay, right?

Ok lets have a look at my absolute favourite lines first:

Your magic brings together/what custom has sternly divided.

Well… i think we can all agree that society has, quite sternly indeed, divided holmes and watson, romantically. Homosexuality just simply wasnt a custom, or at least very frowned upon, mildly speaking. It is rather magical to watch this wrong being righted though, i should think. More specifically in bbc sherlock, the divide has come through a custom of not speaking to each other, and guess what?? Yeah hudders is friggin done with that bs these two are talking now!

And then…

Be embraced, you millions!/This kiss is for the whole world!

*shrieking* do i? Do i really need to talk about this? I think not. This just…. yeah. I mean really….. I would like to add at this point that, at least to my ears, embraced sounds like a rather tame option of translation. “Umschlungen”, to me personally conveys a certain vigour, almost as if the embrace might… idk.. come as a surprise to some extend? Take the air from some peoples lungs? Yeah dunno what that could be about……

If you still need more i guess i could just blubber some more about it all but tbh what is structure? so yeah, here we go, feel free to leave anytime i mean its already pretty gay and hurts my heart i wont blame you if you think 

•WE ARE NOW ENTERING THE REALM OF JOY… yep thats happening things are getting happy, please, god, let them actually. And this joy that we will feel when John and Sherlock ( finally) get together will mend all the wrong thats been done to those two, and us Holmes fans, during all these years of being kept apart by society and norms and customs, homophobia and heteronormativity. Were entering a sanctuary, we are literally save here!

•General message of schiller’s ode to joy is literally that HUMAN CONNECTIONS ARE THE CROWN OF HUMAN EXPERIENCE like wow yes thank you it is as if human connections were the stuff that…completes you as a human being. Say what? 

•Not only is this true for johnlock but also for our entire community, were bound together by the joy of this show, our joy will mend what heteronormativty destroyed, the joy of their kiss will unite us, we will embrace it and the joyfull gayness will embrace us! 

 •The fact that its literally such a groundbreaking piece of music. There have been symphonies over and over but this is new, this is different, he incorporated voices. Groundbreaking,earthshattering… u get it. Seriously if anyone who has even a slither of a clue about music wants to educate me on what the inclusion of voices could stand for please im begging enlighten me my brains too fried im already struggling to get this done(as you might be able to tell. I am so sorry)

 And now, onto some more shit i stumbled upon in the original poem that, sadly, didnt make it into the song but: 

•Have patience for a better world to come, god(mofftiss) is good and will give you what you deserve

•Forget hatred and revenge, forgive your (arch)enemy who shall not have to cry or be rueful (ahem mary. Also possibly mycroft to some extent who knows whats gonna happen) 

•Bravery even in agony,help where innocence is weeping (hi john) 

•Something about oaths and telling the truth to your friends as well as enemies and how lies will bring everything down…… 

•Narrowing the circle, making oaths with wine and staying faithful(keep believing!!) 

•Salvation from tyranns, hope to the dying, mercy in council, forgiving of sins and ENDING HELL well ok then yes to all! 

 No honestly theres a lot and im horrifically underqualified and have a headache so i’ll stop now. If you actually read this whole mess of a thing.. thank you. Bless your soul. I’ll make you an origami elephant or something

#oh wow look #my first meta #contributing #sherlock #bbc sherlock #s4 #sherlock season 4 #sherlock s4 #tld #the lying detective #sherlock soundtrack #sherlock meta #ode to joy #meta #mine #textpost #my meta