#can I go home with my wife or what?

[softquietsteadylove]

Thena and Gil are filming a movie with Eros this time. Eros still doesn’t like Gil and finds a perfect time to take revenge! Gil and Eros have a fighting scene and Eros takes the chance to “accidentally“ hit Gil really hard at his temple causing him to loose consciousness for a few seconds. When Gil regains consciousness again he is really angry at Eros and his reckless behavior but lucky for our snob Thena is here to hold Gil back before it could escalate😈

"And...action!"

It was pretty basic choreography. Blow for blow, it was Gil vs. Eros. Not that everyone thought a fist fight between the two of them would necessarily translate the right way on screen. But Gil's character had thus far sustained a few injuries, he was at the end of several other fights he had faced.

Eros didn't really appreciate being told that he didn't seem like he would be able to fight Gil realistically, but that was beside the point.

Gil swung a few times, Eros managing to dodge and deflect them. There were a few hits that would be faked for the camera, but they had both practised how to make them look as believable as possible.

They had promos and interview to do! They couldn't go damaging the goods.

"Easy, old man," Eros taunted as he leaned out of another punch. "Don't want to pull your back!"

Gil was 'panting', some fake blood already applied to his arms and some bruising and scratches just faint enough to be a nice subtle touch. He huffed, "don't push your luck, kid."

Eros cracked his knuckles, the large signet ring on his pinkie indicating the allegiance of his character. He pulled back his fist and wound up.

The sound of the ring meeting Gil's head was deafening.

"Gil!" Thena sprang up from the side of the sound stage. Under any other circumstance she would never display such unprofessional behaviour. But she leapt from her chair.

Gilgamesh swayed a little, completely dizzied by the punch. He touched his temple where it landed, where there was a sizable welt growing, as well as blood that was not special effects. "Shit."

"Cut!"

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Thena rushed onto stage, pushing grips and gaffers alike out of her way. She leaned close to Gil, who swayed right into her. "Are you okay?"

He grunted, but his attempts to stand upright didn't go as planned.

"Gil, mate, I'm so sorry, are you all right?"

Thena would glare at him if she weren't supporting most of Gil's weight as much as she possibly could. "Gil, it's okay, just sit down."

"I'm fine," he groaned, obviously not fine.

"Gil," Thena tried again to calm him, running her fingers through his hair.

He put his hand on her back, but he pulled his head up from her shoulder, glaring at Eros behind her, "what the fuck?"

"I really am sorry," Eros professed, putting his hand to his heart and everything. "Honestly, I didn't-"

"I took the time to work on this shit with you," Gil huffed at him, squinting with the eye closest to where he got hit, "just for you to wide swing and hit me in the face?"

"Gil," Eros held his hands out, taking a step back as Gil took an even more aggravated step forward.

"Gil," Thena said gently, pushing against his chest. "I know, but I need you to sit down right now."

Gil swayed a few more times, flush with adrenaline. "You get away with a lot of shit, man, but this-"

"Gil," she repeated, still working on trying to get him to sit down and take a breath. "Hey, look at me."

Gil moved his squinted eye from the man he wanted to punch right with the face. He looked at Thena, who was still somewhat holding him up. "Thena, I'm okay."

"You're not," she shook her head, tipping his chin at her. "You are almost certainly concussed, and that's nothing to say of the black eye you're going to have."

Gil did sigh faintly as Thena's soft skinned and cool fingers touched his temple. "This sucks, though--we have to get this scene shot."

"Not with an injury like this," Thena broke the news to him, even making a face as she watched the swelling on his face begin to protrude.

"Thena-"

"I think Thena's right, mate," Eros added, which the entirety of the room could have told him was a stupid choice.

Gil made one more feint of a lunge at him, spooking Eros just for the fun of it. He chuckled, letting Thena press her hand to his chest to keep him in place. Although she didn't remove it afterward either, so really she just had her hand over his heart.

Thena put her (other) hand on Gil's cheek, "we're done for the day."

The director inched forward from the shadows, "uh, we?"

"Come on," she coaxed him back to his chair at first, leading him with her hand on his peck and letting him lean on her.

Gil peeked out from the crook of Thena's neck at Eros behind them. He couldn't wink with his bad eye, but he couldn't resist smirking a little as he nestled back into Thena's hair and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"You poor thing," Thena whispered, running her hand over his cheek as she helped him sit.

"Thena, you know you can't really take the day off, right?"

"What about him?" Gil sighed as she gave him a sip of her water, and then pressed the bottle to his temple.

Thena didn't even look over at Eros, still hovering around nervously at the edges of things. "Don't worry about him. We're going to get you checked out and then we'll head home."

Maybe he usually wouldn't, but Gil nuzzled in more, his head on Thena's shoulder, letting her run her fingers through his hair. If he could purr, he would.

If he couldn't actually hit Eros back, this would have to do.

#Thenamesh Actors AU #Eros is such a little prick #gets away with anything because he's young and has that hair #he clips Gil in the head #and Gil is concussed #he goes to the hospital and they're like #we see you a lot huh #Gil's like I don't wanna talk about it #can I go home with my wife or what? #Gil loves rubbing his closeness with Thena in Eros' face #usually he doesn't but y'know what? fuck it #that little asshole hits him in the face? #Gil is so cuddly with Thena #she dotes on him all afternoon #Eros goes to see Gil to apologise and Thena answers the door #he has an aneurysm on the spot

[shannonsketches]

Why is the anime so weird, it's not even the same series dude?? It's like,

Anime:

GOKU: I have a great idea to bring peace to the universe, and my leadership and compassion alone will unite us all. I have No Flaws and am A True Relatable Everyman :)

VEGETA: NO! I AM THE BEST AND I WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS UNTIL I AM RECOGNIZED AS SUCH!!!!

Manga:

GOKU: Vegeta what's cornmeal made of? I know it's what the corn eats, but what's it made of? VEGETA: Hey Kakarot let's play the quiet game until one of us dies.

#silly hours #I do not understand this writing it's so bad aklsdlkasjd #Toei wants Goku to be Clark Kent SO bad and he SO isn't lmao #they're so good and dumb and rounded and complex in the manga what is the anime so afraid of #Toriyama said 'no no this man is a detached faux-immortal who has a dear pure heart but he's childlike and selfish even though he's kind' #and toei went 'got it goku's never done anything wrong ever in his life' #toriyama said 'Vegeta's gone through a lot and he's finally settling into his more mature leadership role with the confidence he's earned' #and toei said 'got it vegeta has the confidence of a high school bully except now he can interact with his family as a comedy bit' #girl hWHAT #Toei trying to group Goku and Vegeta as two people who would rather train than be with their families and Toriyama said NO Vegeta wants #to be HOME this is the first time in years that he's HAD ONE and it makes him HAPPY to be with his wife and children!! #Vegeta trains so that he can protect the things he doesn't want to lose again and Goku trains because it's the thing that makes him happies #They are NOT the same lmao And yeah Vegeta still wants to beat Goku but he also knows that Gohan could dogwalk both of them if he wanted #He also knows Trunks and Goten are going to surpass them it's not about being the best anymore he's past that he just wants to Not Need Gok #He just doesn't want to have to rely on Goku to save the day he wants to be Enough on his own he just wants to know he can be #because every time it's mattered he WASN'T and people he loved were lost to his inability to protect them and he carries that #Like Whis diagnosed him with anxiety and cptsd out in the open and Beerus said he was self-centered for feeling guilt #+ he lowkey enjoys the rivalry it keeps him goal-oriented so he can't get complacent and lazy which is what triggered his Buu Saga breakdow #realized how Fucked Up it was that having a home and loving family made him feel like he was failing and went 'wait no I won actually??' #now he's chill as fuck in the manga. cool confident leader. #and sometimes he is childish and dumb with Goku as a treat #you know what rocks about his rivalry with Goku in Super though is that it's Playful. Vegeta is learning how to Play. #You ever seen a shelter dog get introduced to a really playful dog and it takes a minute for the shelter dog to understand it's safe here #And then they're both running around the backyard playing hot potato with one braincell?? That's Goku and Vegeta's relationship #and the way the anime sleeps on that dynamic is so fucking criminal especially when it's literally canon it's in print it's out there #you had the playbook how'd you fumble it this bad #anyway that's my 25+ year blorbo thoughts I love Geets a lot okay #And I love Goku in the manga a lot I'd forgotten that he's actually a great character when Toei's not fucking up his whole vibe

[brother-emperors]

ascanio and louis xii

so

Milan Undone, Contested Sovereignties in the Italian Wars, John Gagné

extremely bold of louis xii to assume that ascanio, who has a reputation for conspiracy, wouldn't turn around and say 'fuck you,' after all of that™

(Ibid.)

it IS funny how men in power keep thinking they can put him on a leash like, pal. the odds are NOT in your favor

#ludovico couldn't keep his brother on a leash what makes you think YOU can #(guiliano della rovere is excluded from this club bc he actually succeeded on that front but i dont respect him) #anyway you guys ever think about how ascanio just wanted to be in milan but the milan that was your home doesnt exist anymore #like you're never gonna be able to go back. and ludovico at one point made arrangements for ascanio's body #to be brought back to milan back when everyone thought he was going to die. but he's going to die in rome and he's staying there #augh. AUGH #actually the shift in the relationship between ludovico and ascanio from a general sense of unease to ludovico #wanting ascanio buried with his wife (and the scale of grief that ludovico had at the death of beatrice. oughhhh) is. oof #there's a second very Hm™ comparison here that i will bite my tongue on but it's also their parents fault for it. so. #drawing tag #italian renaissance tag #ascanio sforza #do i have a tag for louis xii. i know ive drawn him before. I HATE HIS HAIR. i might throw out referencing his historical portraits #entirely and just borrow a portrayal of him from television or something #i was not made to draw straight hair

[simgerale]

PROLOGUE

TRANSCRIPT:

In a far corner of the world, there was a continent once torn apart by war and greed, fighting over old grudges and forgotten slights.

With time came new rulers, and against all odds, the neighboring empires built an alliance.

The unexpected love between an empress and an enemy prince brought on peace after decades of strife.

Together, they bravely fought for the future.

For themselves... and then for their children.

#progeny #ts4 story #back to regal NOW PROGENY Fridays? 🤔 not consistently but I think I might go back to the whole weekend posting thing #patting myself on the back for this one!!!!!!!!!!! #i would like to imagine maggie's expression is due to the fact she unexpectedly have triplets #luca is so proud of his wife..... so so proud #sure it's not realistic that the babies are left to their own devices IN DIAPERS but......... i struggled so hard to find a triplet pose #that fit what was in my head #even tried the realistic birthing mod 😔 i know it has one for the hospital but i don't think it has one for home births????? IDK #i wasn't going to spend any longer on that #so this is just a teaser for what's to come eventually!! going to show some moments of their childhood #hmm probably just one post #i've got a cute idea and we will see if i can execute it #and then! we will be on to the main story!!!!!!!! #WOOP WOOP #oh and i've got extras to post (^:!!!! but i won't get to that until next week i figure. i have a work trip D:

[shima-draws]

Just got back from my friend’s wedding :’) I think it says a lot that I was the only high school friend that showed up

#TBF the others in our friend group back then live in different states now #And flying out for a wedding can be SO expensive. #But yeah idk it just meant a lot to me :’) #And my friend (the groom) was SO happy to see me. And his family was too #That made me really glad 🤧 #The fact that he invited me to come at all also says a lot I think #And you know what maybe I cried on the way home in the car but that’s nobody’s business but mine!! #I’m very very happy for him. And his wife is SO sweet and so pretty #It’s just weird yk? Cause in high school I liked this guy SO much #Like I daydreamed about getting married to him some day #So seeing him marrying someone else felt very weird lol #Bittersweet mostly #Sorry this is super embarrassing LMAO but it’s not like I’m ever going to tell this to his face. #I know they’ll be very happy together and I’m so so glad he found someone that fits together with him so well #He’d better come to MY wedding tho. In the future. LOL #Shima speaks #It was a very ‘saying goodbye to your first love’ kind of thing. #Even after I confessed to him in high school (and got rejected) I never really stopped liking him #Like I just never got over it I guess. Even tho I KNEW nothing would ever come of it #Idk sometimes it’s hard to let that stuff go! It’s hard to stop liking someone after you liked them for so long and so strongly #I want to say I’m over it now but considering I was crying in my car: #Well. JFJSJMFMSMSNN #I know I don’t feel that way for him anymore like as a fact but. Idk it was weird— #Again bittersweet. I think I just needed a second to process and really let it sink in #Goodbye to my high school fantasy //waves a handkerchieff #Also MAYBE I saw them be so happy and was like. Why can’t I have that with someone. HUH #Leetle jealous. I need to find me a someone *squint emoji* #Anyway rant over wedding was good I’m just an idiot ;)

[quietwingsinthesky]

at some point i am going to have to force even to go back and deal with donna & tentoo & rose & all and everything they ran away from. and that will probably involve them losing tentoo’s chameleon arch watch by giving it back to its rightful owner, whether she chooses to open it or not. and that is. not going to be a very fun or stable time for them.

#this part is v vague and fuzzy because i want to watch the rest of 12 & 13 and finish the doctor/donna specials before i set anything in #stone about it. but i think i need to rearrange some things in the timeline here vis a vis when the doctor is also forced to go back and #deal with his baggage. #i dont think 14 exists in even’s universe for this reason. and for the reason of tentoo kind of taking on his role? the human part of the #doctor who can stay with donna & with rose. #she’s also trans to me because i love trans!tentoo. her name is johanna. i think it’s pretty. i make a singular exception to my rule of #never changing characters names when i trans them. #but i think. what im getting at here is that this cant be a happy ending. not so cleanly. its more bittersweet. #like i think this version of the story. what i have so far. donna does remember. (tentoo doesn’t but that’s because she’s become her own #person. the doctor is who she came from but she isn’t just the doctor anymore.) and rose knows her doctor is out there and loves her but #she has her wife at home. #and even. oh even. you can’t hold onto a heart that’s not yours forever. you have to give it back. #this. i think. is a moment of respite and recovery for the doctor. and a really really low point for even. however this works out. #its not perfect but there’s kindness in it. and there’s a home to go back to. if they can bear it. both of them. #but like i said. this is all preliminary based on what i might play around with here. and how watching more of the show changes my ideas. #but i think. whatever revelations come in 13’s arc. i think in even’s universe they have to come after donna. i’ll find a way to make it #work. #but mostly right now the important thing is forcing even to give up the watch because why would i let them have one single comfort object <3 #dw oc

[bunnyb34r]

I wish my brain would let me play video games again without a care

Now I'm like "no I can't bc I'm wasting my precious free time. I can't reason using my day off to play video games when I could be using that time to do literally anything else" like fucking come on

#marquilla #and i work part time! so i theoretically have a shitload of time to do this but i dont think I've even turned on any of my games since i #started working like i used to spend my nights playing animal crossing until the early morning hours and now im like noo i cant sorry #same with watching tv series like no sorry i have to watch the same two channels every day bc they keep me on track time wise #like oh medium is on? it's 11am. oh bbc world news tonight is on? it's 7:30pm LIKE BITCH YOU CAN ENJOY THINGS YOU DONT NEED TO BE #ON A SCHEDULE ALL THE TIME #one time my mom changed the channel on the living room tv (it's been on one channel 24/7 for years bc it's the one channel we can agree on #and we need the background noise) and when i was getting ready for work i was thrown off so bad bc the good wife wasnt on and thats whats on #when i put my shoes on for work and i was like ????? as soon as i got home i changed the channel back ahhdhdgd i was like nope i need it #but yknow def not autistic. nope not me. gotta be something else #im trying so hard to break my routine hence going to The movies and shit bc hey im watching something new! i AM somewhere different. i am #DOING something else. but it's so hard to get my head to be okay with even this minor change #AUGH

[kirby-the-gorb]

#kirby #daily kirby #my art #digital #hal laboratory #nintendo #swearing #(in tags) #guess what I got fucking woken up by today? #a call from my wife who walked from work to the er to check herself in yaaaaaaay #you know what I love? #when Things Continue To Fucking Happen. #(she is very stable and at home) #(but she needs to establish longitudinal care which we've already failed to do like twice since moving) #(although this is important enough that she can miss work for an in-person appointment without issue.) #(and our other partner is going to be here in less than 36 hours cuz they were already planning a visit) #(so it won't all be on me if she needs ongoing help this week) #(and we got a check in the mail today we thought had went missing! so that's nice.) #(but it's just ugh. ugh. I said no more things.)

[flowerflamestars]

Timeloop au snippet

A scarce half hour later, Lucien’s morning had wrapped right around itself to the same exact problem. Again, between the abject falsehood of Nesta’s fragile mortal body, and Tamlin, right on the edge of something ruinous. He was staring at the blood on her hands. Not all faeries bled red- even to the human eye there was a distinction in shades. Some fae, born of just enough Spring in them, bled like tree sap, gleaming sticky gold. Thin. Dripping from the white strain of Nesta’s knuckles, a sort of uneasy mixed pink of muddled High Fae heritage. “What,” Tamlin snapped, cold, cold, and faraway, “In the name of all your damned mortal gods, do you think you’re doing?” The game was already up. The game was just beginning, another life, another moment, Nesta’s beautiful face set in a truth she could not entirely act away. Lucien’s heart might have given out, in sheer unremitting fondness. If he wasn’t sick on the grass first. “You promised,” Nesta’s human voice still cut, but she was trying, almost making it, to something softer. Quieter. “You promised. Faeries cannot break their vows, even I know that.” “Tam,” Lucien tried, nausea filling his throat. “You said,” Nesta continued, like he hadn’t spoken at all, “No one would harm him. No harm. How are any of us to survive what it so come if we are not even safe from- from”- Finally, belatedly, Tamlin looked from the wet brick in her hand, yanked from an ancient folly wall, to the crumbled, caved in, blue figure between them. 

#no grave can hold my body down #I saved the best for last and by the best I mean PURE CHAOS #a true acotar Tamlin staggering in war with a broken heart #and? Nesta goddamn Archeron killing faeries with bricks because she is having A BAD TIME #is the best path the clearest? the hardest? the easiest? #the messiest #what happens in a timeline where ACOMAF DOES NOT GET TO HAPPEN HMMM #somewhere Eris is waking up in a cold sweat realizing his wife is about to come home and like. nothing is ready #Elain meanwhile: hello yes this is GREYHOUND FROM THE CONTINENT can I get some lamb please? raw? twelve pounds? thank you so much #all of Nesta's ferocity exists to protect those she loves #I'm going insane over this draft

[im2tired4usernames]

I hate that I literally just do not trust any of the older folks in my family to do right by anyone

#if i have learned anything from my grandparents parents uncles and aunts it's how not to treat children and spouses #i hope I'm a good wife to my wife and that i never put them through pain I've seen people put their partners through #i hope i never treat any children in my life like they do #i hope my possible children my nephews and nieces and my siblings always know they have a home with me #EVEN if I'm mad or disappointed in them #even if they scream how much they hate me i hope they know i love them I'll still feed them and make sure that's safe #i hope the people in my life never have to question of they're loved or safe with me i hope i can provide for them so they never have to go #with out something they need and then some to spoil them i want these people loved #i don't want my daughter to think because she talked back to me or is dating someone in not super found of that I'm goin to throw her away #i hope all the kids in my life always know I will try to take care of them as best i can no matter what #not trusting your elders to love you sucks ass not trusting your partner to love you through the scary bits of life sucks #i know so many men who just leave their spouses or cheat on them when they're wives get cancer #that's one thing I'm glad my dad did everything he could to try to let my mom know he loved hwr when she was here at least #i didn't understand or like some of the things he did but qt least he stayed with her and loved her then #unlike some people I'm regrettably related to #i hwar people at work talk about their spouses also one lady wants her husband to die #and it makes me sad i hope to God. my wife never has to question how much i love them i hope they feel loved and special forever #i hate how people treat the people they say they love the most i hope i am not like that i hope i never ever get like that

[peaklesbian-look]

.

#what is serendipity you ask me #i think it is going to the home country of my wife for the first time #booking an Airbnb randomly because it had to be rescheduled #then arriving together and seeing it's right across a bar called #larry's lounge #which is decked in rainbow colours and flags #one cannot escape!! #universe telling me yeah you can try to forget about it all you want but you're a bunch of larries at heart ISTG #larry brought you together here's a gentle reminder #GOD BLESSS

[cannot-copia]

this year so far

#tw death #once again saying things into the void on here bc i dont know where else to say it #went on a trip for a couple days for my moms birthday a couple weeks ago now #they called to tell us my dads dialysis had pretty much stopped working shortly after we were got there #insurance gave us 4 days notice to find somewhere for him to go (2 of which we were 1200 miles from home) #also was told by the place I work at i am not needed until further notice the same day #so I have no source of income until they get the necessary machine fixed and even then I am skeptical they will say to come back #since dialysis stopped working he had to be moved to hospice #which was a week ago now #so he has very little time left #my half brother and his wife came to visit him a couple days ago #now his brother is here from another state #and we took them to eat at the place they’ve always gone when they are here for as long as I can remember #on the way there we were told my grandmother was taken to the hospital in an ambulance #they don’t know what is wrong with her yet but she is 94 so her being not ok either is very plausible #we are only like 3 weeks into the year and I’ve already been soft laid off my grandmother could be dying and my dad is dying #I feel like I have been seconds away from having a complete panic attack for a week #packing up and cleaning out the assisted living (he only ended up being at 3 months) felt so wrong #it was his coffee mug and green cup of all things that got to me most #he always had them #and knowing he would never use them again #I bought his dog a new name tag today #so it has a tag when we give it to them to put in the casket with him #and i almost cried in a fucking petsmart #and now I’m here over sharing on the internet about it bc if I do not keep myself distracted I will just get more nauseous and cry more #delete later

[rosicheeks]

Oh yes, you’d be the cutest housewife. I can imagine coming home from work and you’re making dinner and I come up behind you and give you a kiss and grab a handful of your butt so that you know you belong to me. Then we’d eat dinner and talk about our days and plan cute day trips for the weekend..Then I’d carry you upstairs and fuck your brains out.

The perfect little life.

#a girl can fucking DREAM #this is it #this is what I want #if anyone asks what I want from now on #or just asks about my future #I’m going to show them this and be like I’m just trying to find this tbh #where is the loml so I can do this already 😤 #i just want to have my cute little life #with my cute little spouse #and maybe we will have some cute little fur babies #((before they breed me and knock me up 🫣)) #I’ll be the stay at home wife/((pet)) #and whenever you’re out at work or with friends or anything ill send you little reminders of what’s waiting for you when you get home #pictures of my little holes #maybe some audio notes of me whimpering and begging you to come home and fuck me #and when I take it too far and tease you a little too much that you can’t handle it anymore? I want you to come home as soon as possible #I want you to angrily grab me and fuck my little holes over and over again #and when I’m begging you to stop cause I can’t take anymore I want you to ask me ‘isn’t this what you wanted?’ and keep fucking me #tell me that my body belongs to you and you can do anything you want to me #and then when you finally fill me up one more time and flop on the bed next to me #and then we can jump in the shower and help each other wash off #and then we go back to bed and cuddle and talk for hours about random shit #maybe even roll a joint or blunt and get high as a kite while we talk #I literally think about cute scenarios 24/7 #I just want to be a cute wife 😤😤😤😤😤😤 #I’d make such a good one it’s ridiculous 😤 #where is the loml #I’m sick of this shit #this is so fucking cute 🥺🥺🥺 I’m going to be dreaming about this all night 🥰 #ask

[713-4th-ward-g]

.

#what sucks is the moment someone is super nice to me 😭 i start to liking them a lot #why am i like this 😭 #i get shown any kind of decency or any genuine kindness I start to really like like them #then end up ruining the whole mood by telling them I like them 😂 #i suppose finding some more attractive cause they're super nice to me stems from my childhood trauma LMAO #gotta love being a neglected kid 😭😂 it doesnt help when they're extremely pretty too 😭😭 #lmao #what's wrong with me have some sense 😂 I know that just cause a person is nice to me doesnt mean they like like me or they even like me 😭 #but i still can't help but start liking them 😂 its also probably cause i finally feel like someone cares about me 😭 then it goes back to #childhood trauma 😂 dude i cant lie being neglected while still having both parents is some thing else #cause its like I had both but they were always at work and when they got home would be so mean to each other mainly my dad to my mother; #the only did they'd ask if i was hungry but by the time grandma came to live with us that stopped and so they would not really talk to me #like i was talking to my cousin Richard on the night of the party; he asked why i dont talk to my dads side of the family #and he's super drunk and starts belittle and make light of the situation before i even start the main reason. so i told him to stop talking #over me and let me finish and stop belittling and making light of the reasons why i stopped talking to them entirely #then he got butt hurt and ended up waking his wife who was sleeping in the living room to go home. #i swear i have issues that i have yet to address lol and going to therapy doesnt work cause it makes me super uncomfortable so i stop going #after the first visits #😮‍💨 i can be so overwhelming why am i like this just cause they're nice to me doesnt mean they actually like me or even like like me 😭 #i need to be better at accepting people's kindness without falling attached or like liking them a lot LMAO. #personal

[el-im]

bought a copy of ‘behaving as if the god in all things mattered’ from the secondhand bookshop today and the old man checking me out patted the cover--saying he loved this book. he asked me if i wanted a bag, or if i was going to start practicing what the book preached right now. i said i didn’t need one, and thanked him. 

#captain's log #i... love. that store. i love it. #my second day in a row there. i was hoping they'd have copies of oliver sacks' 'awakenings' and 'the man who mistook his wife for a hat' #there because i wanted to send them to my younger brother--who is interested in majoring in medicine when he goes to college--and i had #looked at the sacks books they had there yesterday but i didn't remember if i'd seen them or not #they didn't have either #though they had two copies of uncle tungsten and one of gratitude #i had also gone to a bookshop (pricier--all new books) before but they only had one sacks book--everything in its place--which i got just #cause i haven't read it #but. shit! #i have a copy of awakenings i can send him and it's really the better one to send because i think its more relevant to his interests but #the man who mistook his wife for a hat was the book that made me fall in love w sacks/his writing so i was disappointed that i didnt find a #copy anywhere. and THEN i thought i'd go to the barnes and noble because it was on my way home anyhow but it turned out that it wasn't open #anymore! and the building is being turned into a thrift store. and that was my last resort. i figured they'd be very well stocked and that #it would be my best bet bc the other new bookstore is small and the secondhand bookstore--well you just never know what they have until ya #look there! #so. anyway. i can send him my copy of awakenings but i was hoping to find another one bc it might be nicer #and that way i could still have a copy for myself #but! trying to read it very quickly and get it out to him monday when the post office is open again

[gatorinator]

Can God translate me. Just for like 3-5 business days. I just need a little break—I’ll come back I promise.

#al speaks #lds things #help I am so tired. I can’t do it anymore I just can’t #it’s too much. it’s all too much. #it’s fine it’s not like I have to miss my mission reunion tomorrow cuz no one can take my shift cuz we are all overworked #that’s fine I didn’t even want to go to that anyways. it’s not like it would have been nice to see my mission president and his wife #who live in the uk and are coming to the us for this. no that’s fine #also chill that I probably have to cancell on my friends on seeing the new dnd movie Saturday night cuz of other things. that’s chill too #I love never hanging out with my friends it rocks #oh I can’t go home to see my family Easter weekend cuz I work? welp luckily I don’t miss them and have a weird homesickness I’ve never felt #before plus a really weird and new anxiety that my dad is going to die. dunno what that’s about #anyways tried to go to bed at ten tonight cuz I’m so tired. three hours later and I’m here. I have spiraled three difeeebt times #this is cool I didn’t want or need the sleep anyways. I don’t have a paper due Saturday that I thought was in two weeks cuz I’m an idiot #also I’m not at all stressed out about money especially after paying my roommate over one thousand buckarinos to fix a scratch I gave her ca #r this is all cool and fine and awesome #but seriously tho god. hit me up. I know I gotta come back but I could seriously just use a couple days