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#but you're always haunted by what he did before the game even started
fleshadept · 4 months
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since i played disco elysium the only way i've been able to describe the feeling it instills is "shrimp emotions" because i really just have no words for it. none do it justice. melancholy, catharsis, hope, regret. there's so much and it's so interwoven
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coleskingdom · 1 month
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Want Me To Prove It
Will Ospreay x F Reader
Minors DNI NSFW
@midwestmade29 @madhatterbri
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The tension between Will and I could be cut with a knife, the cat and mouse game had been fun, but I had made one snide remark and now you regretted ever saying it. The two of you had toyed with each other for weeks, the innuendos, then he had held a candy bar out of your reach, and the words that now haunted you when you said “ I don’t beg” his eyes flashed at the words, and a new game had begun.
“What do you mean we are sharing a room?” As he handed me a room key. “Why are you so nervous?” as he took my bag off my shoulder grazing my my arm as he did leading us towards the elevator. “ I’m not nervous just irritated, I don’t like sharing “ he stood behind me as he leaned in “Good neither do I” his low whisper felt on my neck I involuntarily shivered at his words.
I walked towards the room using the key to let us in. “ One bed seriously Will it’s one thing for us to be in a room together, but the same bed.” my eyes on his, “You’ve been in my bed before love, are you afraid I’m going to be a bit of naughty boy.” his grin made me weak in the knees. “ You’re not wrong but we’d watch a movie and then I’d go back to my room.” putting my phone down. “ Yeah and what would you do when you’d get back to your room?” his eyes on me, “Sleep Will, I’d go to sleep.” frustration and irritation in my voice, if he’d only knew the things I did and thoughts I had about him. Looking at him now though he looked as if he was reading my mind. “Y/N it’s one night, I’m just giving you a hard time, I’ll be a proper gentleman. I’m just giving you shit. I’m sorry if I took it too far.” his voice softer. “You’re fine, it’s me, I’m stressed and it’s been a rough day. It’s not your fault, I’m going to shower and get ready for bed.” reaching for my bag. “You haven’t eaten all day, I’ll order food, go shower, by the time you’re done. Food will be here and we can watch whatever you want.” he was always looking after me, but to be fair I was always looking after him as well.
I took a long shower psyching myself up that I was perfectly capable of sleeping next to that perfect man without it being an issue. He’s my friend, if I’m honest he’s my person. I put on my shorts and my favorite T-shirt messy bun my stomach in knots.
I opened the door, and there he was shirtless, and in those damn gray sweatpants that left nothing to the imagination. He brought in the food, and set it on the table, turning he sees me staring at him. “See something you want?” leaving the food and walking towards me my back against the wall.
“ I bet I can make you beg” Will’s eyes scanning you, you focus on his lips, where he’s peeking his tongue out a little bit.
“I don’t beg” your voice portraying confidence your body doesn’t feel as he leans in his elbows enclosing you against the wall
“ Want me to prove it then” his words your undoing as he leans into kiss me, his lips softer than I had imagined. He pulls back slightly to see if he’s misread the situation. I close the last inch parting our lips, teasing his tongue for a second before he seizes control, dominating the moment the way he always does.Tasting, sucking, nipping, devouring me. "You think I'll get right into it, don't you?" he humorously hums in my mouth. "Love.. I haven't even started yet. You've no idea what you're getting into with me. I'll make you beg for more even while you're coming undone.”He nudges my chin with his nose, hot lips latching onto the delicate skin of my throat, sucking, pecking, biting between words. My mind focuses on him, every sense starved for his words and touch..
“Will, please" my eyes find his, “Please what? Tell me and I’ll give you what you need.”his mouth on my neck still, “ I want you, I need you, I b….” His hands move so fast that I’m naked and on the bed with him over me my hands on the waist band of the sweatpants tugging them down , he manages to kick them the rest of the way off.
"What do you taste like?" he muses.The question isn't aimed at me. More like he's voicing his own thoughts, twirling his tongue over my pebbled nipple. He toys the other between his fingers, pinching, rolling, and driving me wild.
Satisfied with my hips arching off the mattress, pleading for more, he grips my thighs, pushes my legs back, then rests my ankles over his shoulders. The first tiny kiss to my mound forces the air from my lungs.
"You're trouble," I sigh. "Stop teasing." “Teasing is the best part, sweet girl”
Spreading me with his thumbs, he licks me slowly, bottom to top, dragging the flat of his tongue up and over my clit. And then he sucks. Hard. The move lights up my body and my thighs quiver in time with a surprised gasp.”You taste like mine." I grasp his hair, forcing him back down, and feel him smile against me.
"Greedy... needy... pretty
little thing." He punctuates every word with a thorough lick, and then... the show begins.
"Oh my," I mewl, fisting his hair.
"Will.” He doesn't respond with words.Instead, he slides one finger inside, timing the thrusts with the flicks of his tongue. He doesn't let me come when the orgasm looms close by. He eases off, kissing and biting my inner thigh as his hands knead my hips. He does it again but this time “ Y/N look at me, tell me how much you want to come.” eyes. “ Will please let me come.”His head drops down, torturing my clit with his tongue. I'm so ready for the orgasm it's mere seconds before it hits. I'm vaguely aware I've clamped my thighs around his head, holding him hostage as he licks me through the release.
"I've got you, love."He's suddenly closer, higher, his arms flush to my sides. He kisses me as in one long, slow thrust almost has me coming again. He drives himself home, letting out a low growl that forces my body into high alert.
"Fuck," he breathes, pressing his lips to my forehead. "So wet. So tight... so fucking mine.”His movements are slow, caring,tender. So slow so thorough that I feel every inch of him. His grip on my waist is nothing short of possessive. His thrusts calculated to drive me crazy. His light eyes filled with emotion, the pace is not frantic or mindless. Like with everything he does it builds to the moment every nibbling, biting kiss, every time he sinks into me, every push meticulous...as I come hard, tears fall from my eyes as I understand everything so clearly. Not changing the pace one bit as he drives himself home over again. The weight of his big body pinning me to the mattress magnifies how erotic this feels. How close we are. I feel him come inside me, the groan the restraint, the little moan as he buries his head in the crook of my neck.
My arms wraparound him keeping him there, for this moment it all makes perfect sense. I’m afraid of what I’ll see when the moment is over. “Y/N “as he turns his head into the side of my neck. “Yeah” my words not knowing what’s coming next. He rolls off of me , laying on his side, “ hey look at me, you don’t get to hide from me. If we need to talk let’s talk.” His hand brushing my cheek “ what if? “ I began “ What if what?” his tone gentle “ What if all of this just made perfect fucking sense, and I don’t know if I can go back to how we were before?” I hear him let out his breath as I close my eyes realizing the absolute truth and vulnerability in my words. “Y/N please open your eyes. Look at me, I don’t want to go back.”
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anyarose011 · 14 days
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You're a Mean One, Miss Hunham {Angus Tully x Reader}
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Summary: Four days into being stuck in an all boy's school for Christmas break, and you're on the brink of insanity. If it's not because of Angus Tully still trying to one up you in history lessons, then it's Teddy Kountze getting a hand on something personal of yours (prick).
Part 2 of ?? (Part 1)
Warnings: Swearing, period typical sexism, mentions of pornography, blackmail, minor physical assault, and as always, Teddy Kountze.
You guys don't get to escape being an awkward af teenager just because it's fanfiction, so enjoy! Also, thank you all so much for the love already shown just from the first part alone!
Word Count: 5.0k
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You always knew to put a pillow over your head when you heard your father get up from his bed.
“All right you fetid layabouts, it’s daylight in the swamp!” He smacked two metal basins against each other, waking the boys up if they weren’t already, groaning. “Arise!”
It was funny the first day, but by the fourth, it was unbearable. Still, a part of you was grateful for your father; you never had to get up early and run with the boys in the cold, Massachusetts air. Call it nepotism, call it sexism, you were just glad he didn’t want you to interact with them (physically, that is).
The second day you were there, he called you in during afternoon study hall (leaving you on a minor cliff hanger in Charlotte Brontë’s Jane Eyre; forget that it was your third time reading it, it pissed you off). Just like he had done months ago, Paul Hunham hosted a trivia game (whether that was to show you off, or get them to study, you had no idea).
What idea you did have, was beating every single one of them.
For Alex and Ye-Joon, they were babies in your eyes, so you would give them more time to think on their answers whenever they were up. Alex got close on one, but overall, they didn’t do so well.
Oh, the boys your age? Yeah, you didn’t show mercy, even towards Jason.
“When was the last king overthrown?” Your father questioned.
You smacked the desk before Jason could even process the question. “509 B.C.”
“What planets are named after Roman gods?”
“Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn.” You recited it perfectly.
Teddy scrunched his eyes. “Jesus Christ.”
Your father pursed his lips. “That was the easiest one I have, Kountze.”
Angus Tully…Angus. Fucking. Tully.
“What emperor temporarily restored peace to Rome and the cost of-?”
Angus hit the desk before your father could finish the question. “-Diocletian.”
“At its peak,” your father eyed you. “how large was the Roman Empi-?”
“2.3 million square miles.” You answered, keeping your eyes trained on Tully.
“Nero had five spouses in total, what was the name of the slave boy he-?”
“-Castrated and married,” you finished for him. “Sporus.”
Back and forth you both went like that, rapid fire at first, and your own levels of exhaustion were catching up to you. After perhaps five minutes of this (maybe ten, twenty, who gives a shit, you were tired), it was one damning question that would haunt you.
“True or false, the Pantheon was built before the Coliseum.”
“True.” You said, slapping the desk with the confidence of a mediocre man.
There was silence in the room, and your father sighed. “False.”
It wasn’t a big deal, it shouldn’t have been a big deal; to literally everyone else but you, it wouldn’t be a big deal.
But it was.
Oh, it was.
It was the second time you lost to Angus Tully overall, the first time from an easy question. Still, while Kountze’s grin made you want to rip out his teeth, it was Tully’s outstretched hand that caused you to snap out of it.
“Good job.”
Two of the most hurtful words in academia, whether it meant for it to be or not. Still, swallowing your pride, you shook his hand, and left the room gracefully.
Then started crying as you walked down the darkened hallway.
It wasn’t like you were weeping, you were just frustrated. Thankfully, by the time your friend Elise came to pick you up, you were fine and had a fun day simply walking around town with her.
You bought cigarettes and chocolate at the drug store, then spent the rest of the day at her house, laying on the floor and listening to records in her room while answering her prodding questions.
“Who’s the cutest one?”
“None, they’re men.”
“Okay,” she rolled her eyes, smiling. “I know that, but if you had to choose.”
“Like, ‘if we were the last man and woman on earth’ I had to choose?”
“Sure.”
“A very tall bridge.”
She laughed, shoving you playfully. “I’m serious!”
“So am I.”
“Really.”
Sighing heavily, you thought for a moment, before smiling. “He’s a football player.”
“What?!” She sat herself up. “You and a football player?!”
“Shut up!” You laughed with her, sitting up.
Elise shook her head. “What about the one you went head-to-head with in trivia today?”
“Ew,” was your immediate reaction. “he’s maybe your type, but not mine.”
“So, you don’t want a smart one?” She questioned. “And that’s mean of you.”
“I’m mean to everyone.” You laid back down on the floor. “And yes, of course I want someone who’s smart, but not smarter than me.”
She mirrored you, laying down and leaning her head against yours. “So, he’s out for the count?”
“One hundred percent.”
“If you say so.” Elise reached up onto her nightstand and handed you a letter. “Also, my aunt left something back at the faculty housing and said she found this in you and your dad’s mailbox.”
You looked at your name in the center of it, and then at the stamp: a toy train.
It took everything within you not to sit up in shock. All you did was smile, say thank you, and slip it into your coat pocket.
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You gave Tully his chocolates and cigarettes and didn’t have a problem. It was the fourth day when your father had given them just another ounce of freedom outside of the school, allowing them to walk around the wooded area of campus. You still had your books, but you were also feeling lonesome (the only time you really interacted with any of them was during mealtimes, except for Teddy…fuck Teddy), and you had talked about almost every single thing you wanted to talk about with Mary (God bless that women for letting you read to her too).
So, on December 20th, you laced up your boots (not too tightly), pulled on your mittens, and zipped up your jacket to go on a miniature adventure with the five boys.
“I’m gonna teach you how to play football.” Jason teased you as the six of you walked two by two (you and him at the front).
Shaking your head, you smiled more so at the thought of what you’d look like than his obvious flirting (was he even flirting or just being nice? Decades pass, and you still aren’t sure). “Please no.”
“Come on, it’s easy.”
“Roman history is easy.”
He shook his head. “No, it’s not; you’re just smart.”
“It’s easy to me. Football is easy to you, see what I’m getting at?”
Jason shrugged. “Suit yourself, Teddy?”
“Say no more.” He responded, brushing past you and running up ahead as Jason threw the football to him and he caught it.
That left you by yourself for just a moment before seeing Angus walk beside you. You turned your head over your shoulder to see Ye-Joon and Alex lagging behind as they talked.
“Boys,” you called them. “try and keep up!”
They responded with a chorus of ‘Yeah’s and ‘Sorry’s.
“So what, you’re like their mother now?” The second most irritating voice belonging to a boy asked.
You looked over at Angus, hands in his pockets as he gazed down at you. “You’re not exactly the nurturing type.”
“You don’t know that.”
Humming, you stepped over a log in the middle of the path. “So, what about you?”
“What about me?”
“Jason’s here because of his hair, Alex and Ye-Joon’s family are in other continents, I don’t care nor want to know about Teddy, why are you here?”
He didn’t respond right away, before then saying. “I was supposed to go to St. Kitt’s with my mom and stepfather, but then they decided to say it was their honeymoon and ditch me.”
Your gaze turned to him and saw him pick up a stick, dragging it behind him to make a line in the snow. Even just from his profile, you could see the anger withing his eyes; bubbling more violently than a volcano about to erupt.
“That’s despicable.” You stated plainly.
“That’s one way to put it.” He scoffed.
You didn’t know exactly how to follow up such a personal conversation, but you wanted to make him feel better (at this point during the break, only because it was the decent thing to do), so you just said.
“You beat me fair and square both times.”
Angus looked at you. “Did I? At your dad’s bullshit trivia?”
“You did. Well actually, it was just me versus five of you, and I do believe the more I talk to Kountze, the more braincells I lose, so-.”
“-Don’t sell yourself short.”
You gave him a quizzical look. “I know, I was just telling you why I lost to you both times.”
He shrugged. “The first time you had to go against fifteen of us.”
“I’m sorry,” you chuckled, genuinely not believing it. “are you suddenly saying that you think I’m smart?”
“I never said you weren’t.” He gave you a look.
“Last time, you looked me in the eye and said you knew more than me.”
That’s what silenced him, and when he nor you said anything after that, you simply walked ahead of him. Hell yeah, you had the last word and made him feel like an asshole (you honestly didn’t know that was possible).
The six of you all caught up with one another, and you spoke with the freshmen boys more about meaningless things (but perhaps that’s what made it so meaningful). Angus, still carrying the stick like he was a child, and it was his favorite toy, said to Jason after talking about if there was anything else to do in Barton.
“What about your car? We could take it, go somewhere, Boston maybe?”
“Nah, we’d get in so much trouble.” He shook his head, nudging you. “Little miss perfect here would snitch on us.”
You rolled your eyes at the nickname. “I would not. Besides, it’d be easier to say you all kidnapped me, and everyone would believe me.”
“Face it,” Jason passed the football back to Teddy. “we’re stuck.”
 “If we just had some way to get out of here.” Angus kicked a patch of snow. “Just split.”
Jason pointed towards the quad. “Well, you could put a chopper down right in the quad.”
“A what?” Angus furrowed his brow.
“Helicopter, dumbass.” Teddy mocked. “His old man’s the CEO of Pratt and Whitney.”
Jason nodded. “Yeah, he’s go his own bird. He takes it from Stamford to the city every morning. Lands right in our back yard. Pilot’s name is Wild Bill.”
“Wild Bill?” Ye-Joon asked, amused.
“Yeah, flew to Haystack with it. Took the presents and everything. Minus me.”
“Flying with presents,” Alex spoke up. “like Santa Claus.”
That was perhaps the first time you smiled out of geniuses that day.
“Yeah. Just like Santa Claus.”
Jason whistled, and Teddy immediately dashed ahead of him and caught the ball once Jason threw it. The two drifted off playing catch, leaving you and Angus with the freshmen. Alex spoke just as whimsically as he did about Santa.
“If I was back home right now back in Provo, it would be really warm inside, and my mom would be making baked apples, and the whole house would smell like cinnamon and brown sugar.”
Ye-Joon smiled. “That sounds really nice.”
You nodded. “During finals week, I helped Mary and the other cooks bake cookies for you guys. I still think that’s one of my favorite smells of all time.”
“You helped out with that?” Angus asked.
Dropping your smile, you said. “Yeah, and if I knew which one you’d have taken I would’ve spat in it.”
Before he could even come up with a response, Teddy ran up to Alex and yanked the glove off his right hand. “Hey!”
“That’s what you get for ratting me out, you little Mormon!” He laughed before throwing it into the river.
You marched up to him immediately. “What the fuck is wrong with you?! Like, what the actual fuck?”
Teddy only stuck his tongue out like a child before running back to catch up with Jason. A part of you (somehow) foolishly believed he would’ve berated Teddy for the obviously asshole act; but he didn’t.
Rolling your eyes, you went down to the river with Alex, hopefully trying to find the glove and be able to fish it out. Though, to no avail, you couldn’t find it.
“It’s gone!” He yelled back up to Angus and Ye-Joon. “My glove’s gone!”
“Twisted fucker orphaned that glove on purpose!” Angus responded. “Left you with one so the loss would sting that much more.”
Alex looked down at his hands before tugging off the other glove and throwing it into the river as well. You glared at Teddy as he had a fun time, still laughing and throwing the ball with Jason. Sighing, you looked back down at Alex and pulled off your mittens, handing them to him.
“Here.”
He glanced up at you before staring back out at the water, rubbing his nose. “I don’t need them.”
“Your fingers are frailer than mine.” You continued even when he gave you a look. “That’s not an insult, that’s a fact. It’s alright, I have pockets.”
Alex, after a moment of debating, took them from you and slipped them on, smiling. “Thanks.”
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The six of you were on your way back to school when you felt someone slip their hand into your coat pocket.
“Now what do we have here?”
You turned on your heel, seeing Teddy’s face light up as he waved the letter in his hand. Your face dropped, along with your voice.
“No!”
Immediately, you began to chase him around the small, snowy clearing as if you were a dog and he was a car.
“Theodore fucking Kountze, give that back!” You commanded.
He ripped open the envelope. “Or what, Hunham? You’re gonna tell your dad on me?”
“Just give her the letter, idiot.” Angus rolled his eyes.
Of course, Kountze ignored him, taking the letter out, and money falling from the paper. That’s when he stopped in his tracks and so did you. For the first time since…a while, you were frozen, and you had no idea why.
The rest of the boys caught up to you two, and Teddy picked up the money that fell from the letter; a twenty, a ten, and a five-dollar bill. After the initial shock wore off, he read the letter aloud to everyone.  
“‘My dearest girl, how are you? It’s been a while, and I just want to know what you’ve been up to. Merry Christmas, here’s my gift to you. From, Daniel. P.S. Please send another picture of you if you could.’”
Shame crept in like a shaking animal from the cold, and you couldn’t even look at any of them. Still, that didn’t stop Teddy from taunting you; hell, it probably spurred him on.
“The hell kind of business are you running if you got a someone paying you thirty-five bucks?” He laughed, looking back at the guys. “You think she’s in a skin mag or something?”
“Hey, man, shut up.” Jason rebuked.
“No, I’m serious. They take pictures without showing the face sometimes.” He looked at you now. “Which one is it? Penthouse? Modern Man?”
“Leave it, Kountze.” You hissed, not looking at him.
Teddy laughed. “Don’t tell me it’s Playboy; you?”
 “Are you fucking deaf?” Angus asked. “She told you to cut it out.”
“Piss off Tully, you probably saw her tits this morning in study hall.”
You whipped your head around and couldn’t control the face you made; to this day, you still have no idea if it was pure rage, a form of betrayal, or both at once. Still, you watched as how Angus avoided your gaze like he’d done something wrong; he did, but still. Teddy opened his disgusting mouth to speak again.
“Shit, if I were to line up every girl in Barton, you would’ve been the very last one I-.”
“-I’ll let you take the picture.”
All eyes were back on you, and you looked right at Teddy’s; once confident and sly, now widened with surprise. Who knew it would take just six words for him to shut up?
“What?” Was all he responded.
You swallowed thickly, clutching your hands into fists to keep yourself calm (and to not cry). “I’ll let you take the picture of me, but we have to be alone, and you need to promise me you won’t tell anyone else; especially my father.”
This was not what you had envisioned or wanted to happen on your first outing with them away from the adults in your life. You prayed to whatever god above, Christian, Roman, Greek, Buddhist, it didn’t matter, you prayed that Teddy would grow a brain and take the deal.
“Alright.” Was all he said, shrugging with an excited smile on his face that made your skin crawl.
You nodded. “I’ll take my letter and money now.”
He tilted his head, walking closer to you. “Please.”
Taking a deep breath, you said. “Please.”
Teddy’s grin only deepened, then handed you your things. “You know, Hunham, maybe you’re not a total prude after-.”
Your fist met his eye, and the both of you stumbled backwards; him clutching his face, you your hand. Needless to say, you were both cursing. Still, you managed to gather your bearings and push him over.
“Fucking bastard.” You spat before trying to make a run for it.
Teddy grabbed your left foot, causing you to fall into the snow, your teeth sinking into your lip once you hit your chin on impact of the ground. You struggled, then managed to quickly wiggle out of your boot before getting back up and running like a girl (anyone would run like a girl if they were being chased by a man like Teddy Kountze).
You honestly have no idea how he didn’t catch up to you at the time, but you were on the steps of the main building when you turned back. There they were, just five, not-so-little specks that stood out across the valley of pure white snow. It was only when you slowed down did you notice how cold your left foot was. Your sock was dripping wet from the snow, and you then pulled off your other boot, leaving it on the stairs before entering the school.
Taking a deep breath once you closed the door, you wiped your mouth; specks of blood colored your hand, but thankfully, not that much. Sighing, you walked through the halls of the school, trying to make your way back to the infirmary and hoping that your father wasn’t there.
You ran into Mary instead (a fate worse than death).
“Where are your shoes?” Was the first thing she asked once she saw you in the main hall (you got lost; hey, you’d only been there a few times in the past, don’t be too hard on yourself).
You shrugged, smiling. “We were playing a game.”
“What kind of game?”
“Hide and seek tag.” you leaned against the wall, hands in your coat pockets. “First one to get to the school wins, I hid my shoes under a bush, so they thought I was there, and I made a run for it.”
“You take a fall then? Your mouth’s bleeding.”
“You’re telling me you’ve never slipped on ice?” You managed to joke.
She arched her brow, placing her hands on her hips. “Do you know how long I’ve known you?”
It actually took you a few moments to think back on it; it felt like you’ve known her longer, but no. “Since I was nine?”
“And do you think, in the last eight years, I haven’t been able to tell if you’re a bad liar or not?”
“…Well, am I?”
“Did one of those boys put their hands on you?” She asked the question you both knew was coming. “Was it that shitass Kountze?”
Even with it being a serious question, you laughed (both from surprise and discomfort). “Well like, you should see the hands I put on him. Mary, we were just playing, it’s fine.”
The main door opened before she could say anything else, and you saw the same five boys walk in; Ye-Joon holding your boots. You smiled, approaching them as if nothing was wrong, and you took your shoes. “Thank you.”
He nodded, quickly looking away.
“You all should be ashamed of yourselves.” Mary spoke up behind you, and your heart dropped for a moment as well as all of their faces. “I get that you were playing a game, but you don’t need to be so competitive.”
They turned to one another, obviously confused about the whole thing (you were as well). Still, she continued. “Yeah, little miss Hunahm told me everything. Hide and seek, tag, I don’t care what it was, you all need to be just careful with each other. Poor girl over here took a fall, and I see you did too, mister Kountze.”
At his name, Teddy turned away. Angus spoke up. “We’ll be careful next time, miss Lamb.”
“Please, we’re on vacation; just Mary.” She looked at you. “You’re gonna help me with dinner later, right?”
“I will.”
“Good, stay out of trouble.”
“No promises.”
With that, Mary left through one of the doors leading to the teacher’s lounge. The moment she did, Teddy hissed at you.
“What the hell was that?!”
Rolling your eyes you said. “Didn’t you hear? We were playing a stupid game.”
“You mean you punched me in the face.”
“You blackmailed me into doing something I wouldn’t have wanted to do; we can keep going.”
“It’s not my fault you’re a-.”
“-A what?”
He stopped to your surprise, then changed his tone. “I just don’t think your father would be proud of the choices you’ve made.”
On one hand, damn, those words cut deep enough to almost make you bleed; but on the other hand…
“Are you gonna tell him?” You asked, trying not to sound like you gave a shit.
“Maybe,” he shrugged. “I mean, unless you’re gonna say sorry.”
“Sorry for what?” You laughed. “Beating the shit out of you? You started it. Besides, who’s he going to believe?”
Silence was what you were met with. Even at the sight of his face, you only continued to grin. “Teddy, come on, you start ‘not fights’, we all know. It’s not a hard question, I thought you were smarter than this?”
He sighed. “You.”
“Exactly; you’re my bitch, Kountze.” You walked backwards, a little skip in your step. “Don’t you forget that.”
Turning away, you retreated to the infirmary, grabbing your books and escaping to the library in hopes of not having to see any of them for the rest of the day.
Men…so exhausting.
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You managed to disappear into the world of The Yellow Wallpaper (not necessarily lighthearted reading, but it was still interesting) and a chapter of The Two Towers before Mary called you down to help with dinner.
After another strange but not so subtle comment from her (“You know you can be honest with me, right? I am with you.”), it was quiet between the both of you. That’s what you always loved with cooking and baking; the quietness, even if you were with one other person. You both just worked in tandem and it was almost frightening how you would both know to move out of the way of each other without saying a word.
Dinner was uneventful; somehow, your father hadn’t noticed the slight bruising on your lip, or Teddy’s eye (the color would probably start to show as days went on, but that was a future problem for you). Not one of the boys your age talked to you; even then, the freshmen kept to themselves a lot too.
So, it was quite a surprise to you, as there was “supervised leisure time” in the library, when Jason Smith sat across from you at the table.
“Hey.” He said softly.
You looked up from Jane Eyre. “Hello.”
“So…” He almost looked nervous (initially about what, you will never know). “you really gave Teddy shit today.”
Tilting your head to the side, you went. “Yeah? Well…he kind of threatened me.”
“No of course. Just…wow.” He chuckled. “You really held him off.”
Nodding, you honestly had no idea what to think. Was he complementing you? In shock? All you were doing was staying silent at this awkward exchange when he asked. “You okay?”
“Huh?”
“Just that, I can’t really read you right now. Did I say something weird?”
“No.” You shook your head, then said. “Well, yes. Sorry, I just…” You tried again. “Thank you, I think? But um…do you want me to be honest?”
“Sure.”
“I’m kind of…no, I am mad none of you stepped in. Maybe not mad but…I don’t know.”
“Well,” he began. “we told him to stop.”
“So did I, but he didn’t.” You wanted to say, but you only knew saying something true would make it worse (this is why you couldn’t be outnumbered by men; it’d make you scared). Instead, you settled on.
“I know, and thanks, but it still would’ve been nice for some help.”
He shrugged. “You seemed to have it handled.”
Six words you thought (and prayed) you’d never hear again; and he said them with a nonchalant shrug. As if, by now, he was already bored and annoyed with a conversation he had started. Perhaps you were reading too much into that last part, perhaps he didn’t mean to come off as callous; but he was still oblivious at the end of the day.
“Look,” he interrupted your overflowing mind when he saw how much it was affecting you. “if it helps, he tried to run after you when you punched him, but Tully and I held him back.”
You took a deep breath as his words sunk in. Then, you chuckled bitterly. “How nice of you to not let him beat me to a pulp.”
He shook his head. “Come on, don’t be like that.”
“Angry? Pissed off?”
“Irritational.”
Your jaw actually dropped. “What?”
He said your name, shaking his head and lowering his voice as if you both hadn’t been quiet already. “Look, Kountze is a dick, we know that. But come on, he said some horrible stuff, and you punched him. That doesn’t really add up.”
“…He threatened me.”
“You basically invited him to take a picture of you alone. I mean, yeah it was to bate him, but still.”
No further questions, you picked up your book and your jacket. Without another word and ignoring how he tried to call you back with a soft tone of voice as he said your name, you walked out of the library without another thought.
Your father asked you about it of course, but all you said was that Jason spoiled a book you were looking forward to reading. He believed you and wished you goodnight, leaving you to lie in your bed and be stuck in your thoughts until snoring reached your ears.
You waited a few more minutes before you stood up, gathering your blanket to wrap around you. As you walked down the hall, the nagging thought of ‘Do I even feel safe in there?’ invaded your mind when you only realized that you were going to be in a room with both Jason and Teddy. You were outside of the hall for longer than you would imagine, when you heard quiet voices on the other side of the wall.
“…I had an accident.”
“Yeah, you did. Shh, stop crying. If they hear you, they’ll crucify you. Which would be ironic, since you’re Buddhist.”
You had to cover your mouth from the unexpected line. How…strange it was to hear Angus Tully be this comforting. You heard the smaller voice again and heard that it was Ye-Joon.
“I know it’s an excellent school, and my brothers went here. But I miss my family, and I have no friends.” His voice broke at the end, and so did a piece of your heart.
Then, Angus with his words of wisdom, said. “Yeah, well, friends are overrated. I’ll help you hide the sheets in the morning, all right? In the meantime, find a dry spot, and try to get some sleep.”
“Thank you.”
You gave it a few moments, still reeling over the gentleness of it all, before entering into the light of the infirmary room. You knocked lightly on the door frame not to frighten anyone.
Angus turned over his shoulder, and somehow didn’t jump when he saw you.
“Hi.” You greeted.
“Hey.” He responded, trying to act like his common, moody self.
You wanted to acknowledge what you heard; tease him (but not in an unkind way) about him being nice, ask him why, in the dead of night, was he like this and not in the daytime? Still, all you could manage was the basic.
“Is everything alright?”
He nodded. “Yeah, just nightmares, you know.”
“No,” you shook your head, deciding to lighten and grace the room with your sarcasm. “I’ve never had one in my life.”
Angus seemed to catch on, and it surprised you greatly to see him actually smile. “Nobody likes a bragger.”
“So that’s why you don’t have any friends.”
…Too much; too much sarcasm.
Both of your smiles fell, and you wanted nothing more than to shrivel up like a leaf and die in front of him, then have someone sweep out the crumbs of your body and then them on fire in the snow before burying the ashes.
You still can’t believe you came up with that metaphor quicker before you could say. “I’m just gonna…”
He nodded. “Yep.”
“Goodnight.”
“’Night.”
You scurried into the other room and under the covers of the bed. The fear of Teddy and Jason no longer was the thing keeping you up at night in that room; it was the worst possible thing you could’ve said to Angus Tully of all people.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
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crow-the-unknown · 4 months
Text
ok but not enough people are intrigued and obsessed and fascinated by connor mcdavid in the way i and others on this site are. like yes, yes i could ramble on and on about his skill. he is the best player in the world. period. you can't challenge that and if you are... are you blind? potentially uhm, how do i say this lightly, not smart? etc? there's no contention there, everyone knows it. and he's fast, and whatever. but i don't care about that. that's mcdavid. that's the man that i used to be so annoyed with because no one would shut up about him even when he wasn't even playing (and that's still annoying to me tbh it just happens less now). that's the star player on a team i used to hate when the avs played them ( idk why, i just always hated playing the oilers even when i started getting a soft spot for them). but, and i've said it before, mcdavid isn't connor.
connor is the one i'm so fascinated and intrigued by. it's not his hockey iq or his speed or anything. what i'm obsessed with is that haunted aura he carries everywhere and i mean everywhere. he just seems so... out of place? like you can almost tell he doesn't quite fit in. which is a little ironic and sad for the best player in the world, isn't it? but accurate, too. he's so unique and set apart and burdened with expectations that he wouldn't be allowed to be normal even if he tried. and you can see it clear as day. everyone jokes around about him having no personality but what else is he supposed to do when he gets asked the same question a million times anymore? i'd look just as haunted and annoyed if i were him.
but here's the thing. he's not just that broken boy either. he's a bit of a goof, actually. and it still surprises me, but he is. he's a silly fucking guy. i mean he goes out there and just lights it up, every night. and then you come to find out that he was the one organizing those stupid post-game berets and the plungers and shit? like i'm sorry? you're telling me the face of the league and one of the guys known for being incredibly dry, did that? and that he's out here helping with the all-star stuff, being sweet and showing (at least in part) some of his real self to these little kids who are growing up idolizing him, and being lovey with teammates. he's slipping on the ice hugging the team made of people he loves with all the passion he can muster because god he just wants to win it here. with them. FOR them. he wants to so so bad and it hurts.
like seriously i could go on and on about this guy. about how if people would just give a shit they would see the real person he is - haunted and silly in full - behind the layers of stress about expectations so high they're unachievable, annoyance with the same stupid questions being thrown at him, and the pressure to be the perfect star. if they would just care enough to pay attention to how he smiles at leon or how he cellys or how he hugs his teammates like they're his lifeline they would see connor, not just mcdavid. they would see the love and the care that shapes those haunted eyes. maybe. just maybe.
anyway connor mcdavid is an enigma and a weirdo and i love him so so much and i'm so so fascinated by him 🫠🫶
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phoenix-of-jade · 5 months
Note
12
In honor of SPOTIFY WRAPPED,  send me a number 1-100 and I’ll write you a starter based on the song.
Song number 12: Love the way it hurts by Cloudy June
Oh, your demons match my ghosts
Twin spirits... That was the conclusion the raven haired had came to after listening to Minjun's story about his past and the unfortunate love story he'd gone through. It was interesting how two seemingly completely different people, with completely different backgrounds, could share soo much in common, from a complicated family background characterized by messy games of power and the iron fist of parental authority, to the tragedy of losing their first loves in an unfortunate turn of events that would make said people haunt them to this day (even if the circumstances were different for each one of them, as well as the nature of the "haunting").
I'm sad as fuck you know
When Minjun told him that he couldn't let go of Joowan because he was his very first ever love, the information kind of struck a sensitive chord buried deep within Xuan's heart and soul. He could relate in a way with the lawyer's pain and struggles with moving on, because he too was haunted by a similar ghost: while he didn't lie about Cheng being some sort of 'ex', the man wasn't Xuan's only friend he'd ever gotten involved with in a seemingly romantical way.
The two had another friend with whom they both were very close, a boy named Xia, and while Xuan didn't love Cheng in a romantic manner, he did bear this kind of feelings for this boy; feelings he was too young back then to be able to fully understand what they were or what they meant, but which made Xia be the closest thing to an actual crush Xuan had ever experienced. Unfortunately, Xuan lost Xia when they were still kids, the young man dying at the ripe age of 13 and leaving the at the time 12 year old Xuan with a grueling sense of survivor's guilt. And to this day, the green eyed man blamed himself for Xia's death even if it wasn't his direct doing, living under the impression that anyone he'd grow to love ever again would end up suffering a similar fate, which made Xuan swear that he'll never love again.
You can always make it worse
Yet, cut to the present, and the time spent in the company of this stunning and clever lawyer made Xuan feel a kind of tingle he hadn't felt in literal years, something he never thought would be possible ever again. That strong feeling of compassion and empathy he felt for Minjun, paired with his respect for this handsome man's strong will and determination, had made Xuan develop a keen liking for his new business associate. In other words, he was starting to develop a new crush. But was he ready to accept this kind of feelings in his life? Was Xuan ready to allow himself to love again and welcome this still unknown feeling to nestle into his stone cold heart?
Baby I need you I need your claws on my neck I need your bitter red wine lips and dirty regrets I need your hunger Feels like you're tying me up I'm begging you for your love Begging you for your love
Before he realized it, Xuan had already started to slowly fantasize about him and his lawyer, and that did not include the business framework in the slightest! He couldn't take his mind off of Minjun's charming smile, his charismatic voice and the way his pretty lips looked soo kissable! It was strange feeling like this for someone so suddenly after he hadn't ever caught any semblance of such cravings for anyone else in literal years, not even for Cheng, with whom he had an intimate relationship after all...
Maybe it was the fact that Minjun kind of reminded him of Xia, in a way? It was true, he had black hair and brown eyes like his long departed friend, but so did many other people he'd interacted with in the past and he hadn't developed any displays of lust like this for them. Or maybe it was Minjun's charisma and very kind and selfless nature that reminded him of the young man? Xuan didn't know, but it frustrated him nevertheless. He wanted something from Minjun, that he could tell, but what exactly that something was, heck if even he knew!
Interesting enough was that the lawyer seemed to be interested in him too, or that's what Xuan thought from watching him closely during their conversations. It was bad! This only served to fuel those weird feelings and desires he was having even further! Should he even try to initiate something...?
Xuan shook his head in frustration, sighing and leant back into the chair, staring at the ceiling. Was it even worth it? What if he tries to initiate something romantic with him and Minjun rejects him? Not only would he end up hurt (especially his pride and ego), but that would also risk ruining their business relationship as well...
The raven haired heaved a deep sigh, wondering why things had to be soo complicated? And even if let's say, Minjun were to actually return these feelings of attraction, there was still the issue of his stalker ex boyfriend... Xuan furrowed his eyebrows remembering about what Minjun had told him: Joowan was a murderer and if he'd deem Xuan as competition, he might attempt 'eliminating' him the best way murderers know...
But how can I make me not want you now? Can I make me not go to your house?
But when was he ever afraid of death to begin with? Xuan let out a self-ironic snort. The idea sounded soo stupid in comparison to his lifestyle: he was dealing with the threat of death on a daily, such was the life of a powerful mob leader such as himself. So what was one more assassination threat on top of the already long list looming over his head? Xuan wasn't a scarredy cat. He'd never fret in the face of danger and that wasn't something that would change now. If he wanted Minjun, he could've as well gone for it! Xuan wasn't going to let anyone get in his way and if worse came to worse, he was sure that at least he could rid the lawyer of this annoying pain in the ass.
Baby I crave you I crave your taste in the night (...) And it's rushing from my feet to the back of my head
That thought in mind, Xuan smirked to himself a sinister smile. Yeah, he wasn't going to back down and give up that easily! When he wanted something, he was the type of man that wouldn't refrain from doing almost anything to get that something and if that bastard was even going to think to stand between him and Minjun, Xuan was going to show Joowan what it meant challenging the Green Eyed Death himself.
So yeah, he was going to actually go to Minjun house tonight and finally do what he's been craving to do for quite a while now. Once that decision set, there wasn't turning Xuan back from it and he was going to make sure that nothing, and really nothing, would stand between him and his goal! Those were the very thoughts traversing Xuan's mind as he stared at the shiny revolver glistening in the dim light of the study, before placing it in its holster, concealed nicely underneath his shirt and pants at his back.
Oh, your demons match my ghosts I'm sad as fuck you know You can always make it worse But I love the way it Hurts and maybe that's my curse Come and drag me through the dirt You can always make it worse But I love the way it hurts It hurts It hurts But I love the way it hurts It hurts Oh it hurts
Indeed, they were twin spirits attracting one another and for that reason they should have been together... Xuan wan't one to give up without a fight and even if this would've ended up hurting him in any shape or form, he was more than willing to take that pain. After all, wasn't he the type who liked a little bit of pain anyways?
Cheeky grin played at the corners of his lips and his emerald eyes shined with the glow of a hungry predator ready to go after its pray, as the raven haired exited the office. Let the hunt of the night begin!
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cirilla-fiona-riannon · 5 months
Text
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Francis Drake Main Story
This is simply a fan translation and is not intended as a replacement for the game. Expect grammatical errors.
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Drake: "Ugh..."
Mitsuki: "Drake!!"
He shielded me and took the vampire hunter's sword upon himself.
We hurriedly brought him back to the mansion, and then...
(Arthur said the wounds weren't too deep when he administered first aid, but...)
By the time the sun had completely set, I went to visit his room.
Mitsuki: "Drake, are you awake?"
Drake: "Fawn? Yeah, come in."
I entered, and Drake, who had been lying down, sat up.
Mitsuki: "Are you sure it's okay for you to get up? Take it easy."
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Drake: "I'm fine, I'm fine."
Drake: "They told me to drink some rouge and rest, so I had plenty of sleep during the day. I'm now bursting with energy."
Drake: "Come on, instead of just standing there, sit over here."
He patted the space next to him, and I sat on his bed.
Since this morning, the image of him covered in blood has been haunting me, but now he looks normal as always.
Mitsuki: "How are your injuries?"
Drake: "It hurts, but don't worry, I won't cry."
Drake: "You were probably surprised when you saw the blood, but it's just a graze."
Mitsuki: "But..."
Drake: "The pain is gone, and the wound is starting to heal, thanks to my half-vampire body."
He laughed in his usual manner, but I couldn't bring myself to smile.
Mitsuki: "You got hurt because of me. I'm really sorry."
(I keep putting him in danger.)
Drake: "Fawn."
Feeling apologetic, I tightly gripped my skirt, and he gently loosened my grip.
Drake: "This situation is the opposite of when I bit you."
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Mitsuki: "You're right."
Drake: "Hey, do you remember what I told you before?"
Mitsuki: "Of course, I remember."
------------Flashback-----------
Drake: “Next time, it’s my turn. If something happens to you, I will definitely help. I promise.”
---------Flashback Ends--------
The promises we exchanged and the sincere feelings that came through were all kept close to my heart.
Drake: "Just like I said back then, I was just repaying a favor. You don't have anything to feel indebted about."
(A favor...)
Drake: "Even if I tell you not to worry, I guess you'll still worry, huh?"
Drake: "Just think that with this, all debts are settled."
He probably said that to prevent me from worrying any further.
(He's right. He fulfilled his promise.)
(The only reason he helped me was to repay a favor, that's all.)
I tried to convince myself of this, but my chest twinged painfully.
(He helped, and yet I'm hurt by the fact that he only did that to repay me.)
Unconsciously, I had expected emotions beyond a simple favor.
I was ashamed of myself for being hurt, but I couldn’t control my heart.
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Drake: “Fawn, is something wrong? Maybe you should rest now.”
Mitsuki: “Even if it’s just a debt to you, it’s different for me.”
I interrupted his words, my feelings pouring out of my lips.
Mitsuki: “I was happy when you saved me.”
Mitsuki: “I can’t help but feel sad and worried when you’re hurt.”
Drake: “Mitsuki?”
Mitsuki: “Regardless of any favors, if I can be a strength to you, I want to support you.”
Mitsuki: “Is it wrong to want to be there for you in difficult and painful times?”
I wanted to be there for him when he was going through a hard time, just like he was for me.
It wasn’t about repaying what I received, but...
Mitsuki: “Because you’re important to me.”
Drake: “.........”
(I’m forcing my feelings on him.)
(He probably doesn’t need these kinds of emotions.)
He was like a ship that crossed the sea without being affected by stormy waves.
He was someone who set sail in the uncharted open ocean, and yet, I reached out my hand to him, unable to catch him like the waves.
Drake put his finger on my chin, and when I turned to look at him, he was staring at me.
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Drake: "If you say cute things like that, a bad guy like me might take advantage of you."
Mitsuki: "It's okay. I don't care if you take advantage of me."
He slightly furrowed his eyebrows.
(Oh...)
He firmly grabbed my shoulders, and my field of vision spun.
He pushed me onto the bed and looked down at me from a distance, where his long bangs touched me.
Drake: "Do you even know what you're saying?"
Drake: "I'm not a gentleman like the others. I take what's within reach without hesitation and steal everything away."
Drake: "Money, people, lives. That's the way I've lived."
Mitsuki: "I know perfectly well what I'm saying."
Mitsuki: "I like you."
Before I could finish speaking, he sealed my lips with a kiss.
Eventually, he pulled away, and a sigh escaped his lips.
Drake: "Last warning. If you go any further, the next one I will take is you."
Drake: "Are you still okay with that?"
He gazed at me sharply, and my heart skipped a beat.
(Even if I don't know how he feels, I still...)
Giving in to the rushing impulse, I pulled him closer and stole back his lips.
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Drake: "Mitsuki."
Mitsuki: "I want to steal you, too."
Mitsuki: "I want you."
Drake: "........."
Drake: "What's with that killer line?"
(Drake?)
Drake: "What is it about you that is stirring me up like this?"
I didn't understand his frustrated emotions.
But once again, his lips drew near, and this time, the kiss was deep, as if I were being swallowed whole.
Mitsuki: "Ah...nn..."
Drake: "Ha...Mitsuki..."
With each repeated kiss, mingling breaths, and the sound of wet noises, the air in the room eventually turned hot and feverish.
His hands moved freely along my body and stripped off my blouse and skirt, leaving me exposed in my underwear.
Drake: "Nice view."
Mitsuki: "Why only me?"
Blushing, I retorted, and he let out a chuckle before removing his shirt.
His muscular body made my heart race, but the white bandages around his torso looked painful.
Mitsuki: "Drake, won't it bother your wounds?"
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Drake: "I told you it's fine. Besides, do you think I'll stop here?"
He narrowed his eyes like a predator targeting its prey.
In the cold yet seemingly amused gaze, I felt captivated and imprisoned, both in body and soul.
Mitsuki: "Drake..."
Drake: "Haha! I want you to call me something else at times like this."
Mitsuki: "Francis?"
I responded to his request, and he smiled seductively, lowering his lips close to my chest.
Mitsuki: "Nn...ah...Francis..."
Drake: "Mitsuki..."
He removed my corset, and his tongue rolled and licked my nipples, his caresses intensifying each time I moaned.
Mitsuki: "Ah...nn..."
I arched my back, unable to bear the successive waves of stimulation as his hands squeezed and caressed my breast, but he grabbed my hips, kissing my chest down to my stomach.
Then, a sweet, tingling sensation was pooling in the depths of my gut.
Drake: "Your body is trembling."
Mitsuki: "Because you're touching me."
Drake: "Heh? You feel good just by my touch? Then I'll play with it more."
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Drake: "I wonder what would happen to you if I showered you with affection from head to toe?"
Mitsuki: "Ah!"
The moment Francis smiled wickedly, his fingers slipped under my underwear and began teasing my most sensitive area. My body couldn't help but shiver with pleasure.
Drake: "I haven't even touched this part properly yet, and you're already wet."
I could tell that it was wet with my arousal.
When he grabbed my thighs and lifted my knees, I could no longer stop the sound of lewd, wet noises and hide how my burning core easily swallowed his fingers.
(Even though it's embarrassing, being touched by someone I love makes me uncontrollably happy.)
I wondered if it was just a convenient illusion that I felt a special warmth in the hands that touched me and in his eyes.
Eventually, everything that covered my body was stripped away.
Drake: "Mitsuki."
Mitsuki: "Francis... Ah..."
Slowly, he pushed his hard length past my resistance, his hair tousling as he shook my body relentlessly with each thrust.
It was like we were both being swallowed up in a whirlpool of pleasure.
Mitsuki: "Francis, I love you."
Mitsuki: "I love you."
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Drake: “.........”
Drake: "Ah, damn it. You're too cute, Mitsuki."
He repeatedly called me pretty with an expression I'd never seen on a man and called my name in a longing voice as our bodies moved against one another.
However, he never once told me he liked me.
(What does he really think of me?)
(Is he just accepting and embracing my feelings?)
I desperately clung to his back, afraid to ask for his true feelings.
Right now, I just want to drown in this storm of passion without thinking about anything else.
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Previous Part ╎ Masterlist ╎ Next Part
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jasntodds · 8 months
Text
Petrichor [9]
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Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader (little bit of fwb)
Words: 13,975
Chapter Warnings: Swearing, angst, mentions of canon violence, canon drug use, mentions of death, canon grave digging??
Summary:❝Pylades: I’ll take care of you. Orestes: It’s rotten work. Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you.❞
Gotham is home, not just for Jason but for you, too. And now that you’re both finally back home, together, you’re ready to see where this next chapter brings the two of you. He’s your best friend and you’re his. And you both might want a little something more with being back home, the place you both feel most comfortable. Surely, nothing could possibly go wrong now.
A/N: The way I rewrote the beginning of this like 4 times skjdhfsjk Again, I'm really sorry I left you guys on a cliffhanger lmao I really thought I'd have it done and then did not lol You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary  and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭
series masterlist | masterlist | tag list
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“Please, don’t be mad.”
His voice. You would know that voice anywhere and you freeze. Your heart feels like it’s just plummented to streets below you because it can’t be him. It’s your mind playing tricks on you. It has to be because he’s dead. You know for a fact he’s dead. This is some cruel joke he’s playing, somehow.
Maybe you really did piss him off. If he has your phone number and knew you’d meet him here, in uniform, maybe he knows more. Maybe he knows Jason was Robin and you were together. Your social media feeds were consumed with each other. It was obvious. Maybe that’s what this is. Some mind game as payback for going after someone he wanted to kill himself or someone he wanted to recruit for his new crime family. It has to be. Because Jason Todd is dead.
You look over at him slowly, seeing the green eyes that haunt you in your dreams now. There’s the mark near his left eye he’s had since you met. You memorized where the few freckles are and they match on Red Hood. He’s the same height as Jason. His brows are knitted together in the same way Jason always did when he was thinking and pleading with you for something. The only difference is his hair. Jason doesn’t have a white streak. So, it can’t be him. He’s dead.
You move away from him quickly, putting your hand out in front of you as it glows neon green. You gain a scowl as you clench your jaw. Not him.
“Tell me who the fuck you are before I melt your sorry ass!” You yell at him. You don’t care what he’s capable of. If Red Hood wants to play this game, you’ll play right back and you’ll go down swinging. It’s not a joke and it’s just cruel.
Jason faces you, eyeing you carefully. He knew you wouldn’t believe him. You're smart. You're going to make sure he’s real. But it hurts anyway.
“It’s me.” Jason states holding the helmet on his hip. “I swear, alright? It’s me.”
You shake your head as you feel your eyes grow warm and the tip of your nose warm. Your eyes start to water and it’s actually embarrassing. You can’t actually stand here ready to kill him while crying. Whatever his endgame is, he has to be winning because your hand starts to shake and you swear it’s not him.
“No…because I-I…no.” Your words are rugged and breathy. “I found him.” You mutter through gritted teeth. “He’s dead.” You suck in a breath, keeping your stare on him. “You’re. Not. Him.”
You know it can’t be him because that’s not possible. It’s not possible that someone can die and come back to life. Bruce had an autopsy performed even. Even if there was a way, there was an autopsy. How can someone come back from that? You read the report, you saw the pictures. That is real. Can he survive being bludgeoned with a crowbar and then being embalmed? That doesn’t make any fucking sense. And if he were really Jason, why wouldn’t he come to you as soon as he comes back to life? Why would he become Red Hood first? Why would he go to Molly first? You saw him, cold and pale and lifeless with autopsy scars on a slab. This isn’t Jason.
Jason’s heart drops because you never should have been the one to find him. He knew you would. Jason remembers every thought he had before everything went black and he remembers knowing you’d come because you’d always come to find him. But, he was really, really hoping he was wrong and it was anyone else. It just had to be you. Jason doesn’t know what the damage was but he has a pretty good guess it was pretty ugly and mortifying. It wasn’t enough that he literally died, but it had to be you to fucking find him.
And his heart breaks with the look you're giving him because you've always trusted him. But right now, just by the scowl and vibrancy of the green of your hand, he knows you don’t. You have to believe him. You have to.
“I gave you a necklace.” Jason states, looking to your neck that’s covered with the suit. “Infinity symbol, because it’s you and me. There’s a tracking device in it because you have a habit of getting kidnapped.” Jason nods at you once as he manages his signature smirk. “You’re probably still wearing it because you never took it off since the night of the gala.” Jason gestures a hand towards you lazily and you swear the necklace starts burning your neck. “You picked out the hood for your suit. And you were always afraid of heights but grappling around the city has apparently helped you get over it. I have a favorite gargoyle. You and Bruce are the only two who know that.” Jason tries to think of other things only him and you would know. He remembers everything but it has to be specific because just anything is never going to fly with you.
You pause and you think Jason has to be the only one who would know all of that. Anyone would know about the necklace but not the reason or the tracking device. You never even told Molly why he gave it to you. You always said it was just something nice he did. No one would know you picked out your hood besides Bruce and Gar. And the gargoyle thing is so damn odd that no one would even think of that. But he did. But it can’t be him. How can it be him?
“My favorite meal is pot roast which I taught you to make the same day you taught me scrapbooking stuff. My page was about Robin, of course, it was, right?” Jason shakes his head as he scoffs. The name of Robin is almost sour on his lips now. “Pride and Prejudice is my favorite book and I really like West Side Story, it was our second date that you planned.” Jason takes a step forward with a sigh and you keep your footing as your hand lowers just a little. “Krypto is your best friend even though he’s a dog. You like Excellent Gothsm which I think you like going to because you suck at making friends but you think Tim is cool.” Jason grins at you as you glare at him in the way you always did when he was saying something just to get under your skin. “Hey, you said that yourself.” Jason chuckles softly, looking to the ground and your face softens just slightly. He always did that. “I dumped a bucket of ice water on you once, back in San Francisco.” Jason lets out this laugh and he can’t see it, but it gets you to smile under your mask. That’s definitely his laugh because it’s booming and it echoes over the roof.
“Asshole.” You mutter as Jason watches the glowing start to fade.
“You ate the rest of my food! On purpose!” He laughs and there’s this light in his eyes as he gives you this teasing grin. The one he always gave you right before you caved.
“I thought it would be funny.” You lower your hand. “And it was.” The venom in your voice is gone.
“Yeah, sure it was.” Jason sucks in a breath.
Your face softens as you take off your mask and Jason sucks in a deep breath. He waits, nearly wanting to jump out of his own skin. He knows you're running every possibility through your head, just to be sure. He has to wait for you to land on this to be real and true. But it’s agonizing and he can’t breathe as he waits. But as he waits, he can see the disbelieve and what he swears was hatred, dissolve from the lines on your face. Your brows knit together as your eyes start to water.
“Jay?” Your voice trembles through the space between you.
Jason nods softly. “Yeah, it’s me.”
You suck in a breath and run the distance between you. You slam into him with a force as your arms wrap around his neck and this time, without hesitation, Jason’s arms wrap around your middle. He holds you as close to him as possible as his eyes close. You smell like his body wash and shampoo and he can’t help but smile. Of course, you do.
It’s unbelievable. You have no idea how it’s possible but it has to be him. No one else would be able to know all of that. You and Jason always kept so much close to your chests when it came to the two of you, you know he didn’t tell anyone. He wouldn’t. It has to be him and you're relieved. You're wrapped in his arms again and it’s like you've been sucked back home in an instant.
It's relief that hits Jason like a freight train. It's firm and hard but comforting. An easy breath of air leaves his lungs and it's as if he hasn't been able to take a full breath since coming back, not until now. Your arms are wrapped around his neck so right he thinks you might strangle him and it feels good. He was so scared you'd punch him and tell him off and leave. He died and a really big part of him, thinks you should do all of those things. But, you don't and Jason is just happy to have you with him, if just for this moment.
Jason pulls down your hood to get you to look at him and the second you do, one of his hands comes up the back of your head and he brings your lips to his. His hand tangles in your hair and he keeps his other wrapped as tightly as he can as if he were to let go for even a second, he'd wake up to relive another nightmare. 
Your mouths move together almost carefully at first before it grows sloppy and almost desperate. You slide your hands into the curls at the nape of his neck and you think nothing, right now matters. You can exist right here on this rooftop just like this with him. If you stay like this, nothing can happen. Nothing bad can happen again if you can just stay like this. You beg and plead with the universe to just freeze time but the universe never seems to listen to your pleas.
"I'm so sorry." Jason mutters against your lips, his breath heaving but he keeps his lips just hovering above yours as if he's terrified to move.
You're the one that pulls away to get a good look at him. "W-what...I--" You shake your head and Jason's heart sinks as he feels your arms loosen around his neck. "You died." You chew the inside of your cheek. "H-how?"
“Lazarus Pit.” Jason states. “I don’t know how it works but I was put in it and came out alive.”
Jason knows he can’t tell you much. If he tells you what’s going on, it’ll complicate things a little. Crane already doesn’t trust you. And Jason knows that. Jason also knows you’ll lose your mind if you find out what he’s doing, the whole story. He knows he can’t tell you. Not until the time is right but you, at the very fucking least, deserve to know he’s alive and how. The Titans will find out eventually anyway and none of them could go back and tell you. You’d never forgive him.
If this were any other city, you would say that were a load of shit. But this is Gotham where the impossible always seems possible in the most fucked up ways. It’s just a normal thing here. Acid creating whatever fuck the Joker was. That same acid turning Harley Quinn into whatever she is now that’s actually nothing like the Joker. Poison Ivy accidentally spilling a chemical and turning into what she is now. Insane scientists that torment the city with magic tricks and fear gas. Maybe Lazuaus Pit makes sense.
“Lazarus Pit.” You nod your head once. “That tracks.” You let out a sigh.
“Yeah.” A forced chuckle leaves Jason’s lips as he drops his hand from your hair and moves it to your waist.
“Who put you in it then?” You ask as your hands find their way to his biceps and there's a trickling of anger starting to drip into your stomach.
You're thrilled and relieved he's alive and he's real. But, you're also smack in the middle of grieving him. Now, he's suddenly alive and it's not like he just walked into the manor one day. He's been out here being Red Hood for days and you're just now finding out about it. The relief of him being alive is still throbbing with your heart but there's an anger that's there, moving in slowly. It's as if your body is so used to being mad at the entire world or absolutely miserable that it doesn't know what to do right now. And you think you might be getting whiplash from the emotions. It’s like you go numb as your body sorts through which emotion it wants to land on like some sick arcade game.
Jason shakes his head, knowing this is about to go south. “I can’t tell you.” Jason answers honestly.
That simple sentence of keeping you in the dark, lets your brain settle on anger. He died and you don't even get an explanation as to who brought him back? 
You let out this hollowed version of a laugh as you nod your head and you take a step back from him. Jason's hands nearly linger in the air and he swears this is going to be bad. “Oh, okay.” You quip. “So, you get to come back from the fucking dead and just not tell me shit!? That’s how is going to go?” You yell at him. Anger seems to be the easy default emotion lately. But, this time, it gets to be at the person causing it even if it’s not his fault.
There were several reasons Jason didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want you involved being high up on that list. He knows you better than anyone and he knows you're gonna dig. You're going to dig until you get answers and he knows Crane won’t like that. You’ll figure it out. If you figure it out, you’ll be in danger. He doesn’t know what Crane is going to do or want him to do if you figure it out. There’s also the guilt of it all that’s chewing at him.
He feels guilty now. Now that he isn’t high. He feels guilty that he left you alone. And he knew you would probably yell at him. He deserves it but that doesn’t mean he wants to hear it. It hurts him to see you like this. To see you clearly wanting to walk away from this. To walk away from him. He wanted to avoid it all. But that’s not fair and he misses you. And he feels guilty that he’s been lying to you and has to keep lying. None of it is fair to you and you've always been the one person he can trust. You've always been the one person who offers him understanding even when you shouldn’t. But, it’ll keep you safe and at arm’s length and he knows that. It has to be like that until it’s safe. Your safety is still one of his priorities, even when he’s high. That doesn’t change.
“Look, there’s a plan, okay?” Jason sucks in a shaky breath. “I just can’t—“
“Do you think I give a flying fuck about a plan right now!?” You scream back and you know you're angry and that’s not fair either.
But it fucking hurts. It hurts so bad that you just need to scream. You need to scream at the one person who has caused you to hurt this badly and that's him. He died. He died and left you here alone to deal with it all alone. He made a stupid decision and it got him killed. He fucking knew better and he died anyway. And you're pissed about it. But, you stop yourself there because everything you want to say seems cruel. It all seems too cruel to say and it's just the emotions getting in the way because you know you don't mean any of it. And what if it's enough to get him to leave and he dies permanently? You can't say what you're thinking out of fear he won't come back again. You have to bite it down as tears brim your eyes.
"It's fucking dangerous, alright?" Jason pleads with you as he watches the tears wet your cheeks. He never meant to hurt you. Not you. "I don't want you involved."
"And I just have to accept that?" Your voice cracks.
"Yeah." Jason nods softly.
Jason is begging for that to be enough. It should be. It should be enough and it would have been had he not died. You would have blindly trusted everything that came out of his mouth but then he died. And you don't anymore. That changed things.
He says this is dangerous and expects you to just trust him with something dangerous again. The last time he did something dangerous, he got a crowbar to the face by a maniac. It's as if that doesn't matter to him. That it doesn't matter to him that it matters to you. You can't handle being in the dark. Not again.
"Well, that's bullshit!" You yell so loudly it echoes over the rooftop. "You died!" You let out a cry. "You died and you're back! I deserve an explanation!" You throw your arm out to the side.
Jason steps forward, trying to close the distance between you again, wanting so desperately to pull you into him. "I know." He nods and the only reason he doesn't grab you is because he's worried you might lose it entirely. "You have to believe me, okay? I told you when I could."
"That's not fucking fair, Jason!" You bark, your hands balling at your sides as they start to shake with some lethal combination of anger and heartbreak. "You get to come back and be Red Hood and I just have to be okay!? You went to fucking Molly before you came to me! You fucking left me!" Your voice cracks as your heart thunders desperately against your ribcage.
He knew. He always knew one of you wouldn't come home and it would destroy whoever was left in the wake of your death. And he always figured it would be him because of his recklessness. But a part of him wondered if it would be you since the universe loves to torture him. But of course, it would be him because dying broke you. And you breaking breaks him.
"I know it fucking sucks, alright?" Jason raises his voice swallowing the lump in his throat. "I know! I'm cleaning up Gotham, alright? That's what's going on. I found Diego and had to bring him to her, that's all! I'm so fucking sorry." There's desperation in his voice.
"Sorry doesn't fucking fix it, Jason!" You suck in a shaky breath as your heart breaks further. Why does it hurt so bad when he's alive? It shouldn't still hurt but it does. "It doesn't fucking fix it!" You let out a cry as your nose scrunches.
Sorry doesn't make the last six days suddenly disappear from your memory. Sorry doesn't make it feel any better. Sorry fixes nothing because you still found his dead body. Sorry fixes nothing because it's just a fucking word and your heart hurts and everything hurts.
"I know." Jason lowers his voice. "I know, alright? Just--"
"No, you don't!" You step forward and push his chest, every emotion flooding your system to the point it just needs somewhere to go. "You died!" You let out a wail as you shove him again, harder this time as he takes a step back. "It destroyed me!" You shove him again but it's weaker this time. "It destroyed me." Your voice lowers as you rest your fists on his chest. "You died and it destroyed me and I had to fucking find you and I tried! I tried to save you!" You hit your fist on his chest. "I tried and it didn't fucking do anything because you were already dead! It's been fucking hell! It hurts and I can't sleep and I can't eat and I can't stop fucking crying and Gar will get me to laugh and I feel guilty. And I feel fucking guilty I missed it! Because you had this stupid fucking idea to go after the fucking Joker on your own! If you wanted to prove something, fuck! Take me with you, Jason!" You hit his chest again as you look up at him. "I would have gone with you!" You shake your head as tears fall down your cheeks. " You shove him again. "You fucking left me!" You shove him again but this time, he grabs your wrists as you let out a sob. "You left me." You let out a weak whine.
Jason's eyes glass over and he is so sorry. There should be another word stronger than sorry because even that doesn't feel right. He feels so guilty and he doesn't think he'll ever not feel guilty over it. He swears he'll always feel this heaviness in his chest, a burning pain where your name is still stitched into the flesh. The Joker murdered him brutally and he's the one that feels guilty and at fault because you're right. He shouldn't have gone and he should have told you. But, that wasn't the plan and this was his to prove, not yours. It was always about him with that one. It should have been his. And he's so fucking sorry.
"I know." Jason nods as he feels your arms relax in his hands. "I fucking know and I-I don't know." Jason shrugs as he drops your wrists. "I'm fucking sorry."
Your body shakes slightly as a silent cry escapes your lips. Jason knows he'll never be able to forgive himself for this one. He doesn't think either of you will come back from this. How could you? He might be alive but that doesn't change what it did to you. It doesn't change that he lied and is still lying to you. He always swore you deserved better and that thought has never been more true.
"I know." You nod softly and you're tired.
You rest your head against him sucking in a breath and you hate that you're even mad at him. You know it's not his fault. It's not his fault he was murdered. It was stupid, it was dumb. It got him killed but it's not his fault. The Joker was a maniac who took an opportunity. Jason got killed and that is not his fault and you know that. It's not fair to put the blame on him because you're mad but you just couldn't help it. It all just came out like a volcano long overdue for an eruption. You're just...hurt. By all of it. But, yelling at him, kind of helped a little bit and you can't stay mad. It was always something you were bad at and something Jasn was always really good at. You can't stay mad at him ever but especially now when he's alive. He's alive and you're happy he is. So, you bite down the hurt of everything as you look back up to him.
"I'm so sorry." Jason's voice cracks. "I never meant to....to die." Jason grits his teeth and that's part of why he likes the drug. He isn't haunted by that night when he takes it. He remembers everything.
"I know." Your voice is broken as you nod. "It's just...it's...it's so fucking hard, Jay." The use of his nickname fills this void in his heart. "And nothing helps." You put a hand to his face and he almost pulls away. "I really fucking miss you." Your thumb traces over his cheek and he misses you, too.
Jason places a hesitant hand over yours. "I'm alive, alright? I never meant for that shit to happen and I'm sorry I didn't fucking tell you. Please, believe me."
"Why didn't you?" You ask as you search his face for any answers while you drop your hand.
"I'm just fucking tired of the nightmares and shaky hands and being fucking scared." Jason lets out an annoyed scoff. "Robin isn't scared so I....I got some help." Jason shakes his head as you raise a brow. You hate the sound of that sentence. "And...I didn't want your help. I didn't want you to get dragged into it, alright?"
"I would have helped, Jay." You plead with him. "You could have told me. You know, you can tell me anything. I'm always on your side."
Jason knows. He knows but he also knew the risk all of this would take. If he told you he went to Crane for help, he thinks you'd leave, even now you'd probably leave. You're understanding but you have lines and Jason thinks Crane would be your line. Jason working with him. You would blame Crane for him dying and Jason is protecting him. At the end of the day, Crane is helping him with the drug and the city. Crane brought him back to life. Maybe he's not so bad but he can't tell you that. He knows he if tells you anything more, you'll probably leave and he can't lose you. And the idea of you being out there with him that night, nearly sends him into cardiac arrest. You'd be dead, too but Crane probably wouldn't have brought you back.
"I didn't want your help." Jason urges. "It wasn't your fucking problem, alright? I wanted to do it on my own."
You offer him a subtle nod as you sniffle. "We're supposed to be a team. Your problems are my problems, Jay. I know you're thinking it, you're not a burden to me." You plead with him to believe you. "But, I get it." You nod softly, chewing the inside of your cheek because you do understand him wanting to do it by himself. You get it. "Why can't you tell me now?"
Jason's heart skips with you saying he's not a burden because he swears if you only knew, you'd think differently. It's all too much. You say it's not a burden but your eyes are sunken in and there are dark bags under your eyes. Your eyes aren't crinkling at the edges and you lack the fire across your expression Jason always adored so much. This has been a burden. He hasn't even been around and he's been a burden anyway. But, he doesn't want to stand here and go back and forth about that. He can't stand here and do that.
Jason cautiously moves his hands to your hips and a part of him thinks you'll push him away but you don't. "I can't lose you." Jason states quietly.
Your brows knit together as if you're trying to hold back more tears. A shakey breath leaves your lungs and somehow, your chest feels heavier. "Yeah, but I lost you." You plead with him. "You're not gonna lose me, Jay." You shake your head. He wants to believe that so badly but if you only knew, you wouldn't be saying that.
"I won't risk it." Jason keeps his stance firm but his voice is still quiet and soft.
You still mean more to him than he'll ever be able to say out loud. He won't risk losing you, not to all of the shit that's going on. He doesn't know what he would do if he did.
You let out a sigh and decide to settle for the answer, seeing the look of desperation clouding his eyes. "Okay." You nod softly. "Then, what the fuck were you doing making a drug?" You ask him with exasperation but you watch him carefully. Jason isn't stupid, he knows how to cover his tracks if he wants to. If didn't want someone finding that formula, no one would have found it.
Jason's eyes dodge to the ground before coming to back yours. He left it out on purpose. He knew, despite the drug's false sense of confidence, there was a chance he wouldn't come back. Jason wanted you to know if he didn't make it back but by how you're asking, he can tell you didn't figure it out yet which is a relief.
"If you fucking tell me you can't tell me, I'm going to lose my shit." You blink at him.
"You found it?" Jason asks.
"No, Dick did. I was a little busy ya know, grieving you to be searching your room for clues. Dick was a detective, he wants answers, too. So, you wanna explain that or?"
Jason shakes his head and he can see you at the end of your rope. "I can't tell you." Jason scoffs.
"Fuck you." You huff back as Jason swears his heart is actively bleeding right through his ribs.
"It's to do with the plan." Jason states. "I can't tell you anything more--"
"Bullshit. You can and you're choosing not to. You can always trust me so it's bullshit. I don't--"
"No!" Jason yells back. "Because if I fucking tell you, you're going back to Dick and you're gonna tell him because you'll be fucking worried. You always worried too damn much! It'll ruin everything and I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to do if they fucking find out you know!"
"Gee, I wonder why I worry so much, Jay." You quip. "Who the fuck is they?"
Jason's eyes go glossy and he can't do this. He can't do it. "Please, I can't fucking tell you."
"We're supposed to be a team. You and me."
"I know. I'm fucking sorry. I just can't. Please. You say you trust me so trust me." Jason's fingers dig into your hips with the plea.
You nod and you know he's sorry. He feels guilty and it's going to eat him. He doesn't deserve it and you think, the best thing you can do right now, is try to drop it a little bit for right now. You can come back to this.
"I forgive you, okay?" You roll your eyes. "And I'll drop it right now but we're definitely circling back to it. But, you have to tell me something, okay? I deserve that." You ask with hope in your eyes for the first time since he died.
He can give you that. He can give you something else to hold you off for a little while. That's fair. You forgive him for right now and it's him and you.
"I'm working with someone who has the same vision for the city. They got me into the pit and brought me back." Jason explains. "Ya know, taking out the big players and shit. They don't want anyone to know."
"So, you decided to be the face because?" You question with a raised brow. This is weird. Someone else wants to run the crime of the city, but it's too big of a risk for them to show their face but not for Jason to be handling all of it?
"I've got the training." Jason shrugs casually. "You trust me, right?" Jason asks.
"Of course." You nod as your words are slow. "But, it's weird and I think you know that."
"It is." Jason chuckles. "Just...trust me, babe. I got this, promise." Jason offers you his troubled grin as he squeezes your hips.
"That really is not as reassuring as you think it is, Jay." You offer him a grin but you decide to take it. You have to take what he's willing to give you right now but you're definitely digging into this one and you're gonna let Jason think you're letting it go. You don't want him to go off the deep end trying to cover more of his tracks. "Fine." You widen your eyes at him as Jason gives you a smirk. "Still mad at you."
Going back and forth isn't going to do either of you any good, especially since Jason is clearly going to keep everything a secret anyway. So, you decide, you'll dig later and you'll just let you both exist in this moment back together. You don't want him to have to go and it leave like this.
"Good." Jason nods quickly as you give him a fake scowl.
"Yeah, fuck you." You nearly laugh as you say it and the cold feeling in your chest starts to dethaw.
"Time and place, babe." Jason quips back and he has missed you so much.
"Fuck off." You shake your head as you look down and then back to him, looking at the streak of hair. "Are you okay? Ya know, ya died."
Jason nods. "Yeah, all good." Jason clears his throat. He watches you start to chew your cheek as your eyes scan over his face. The soft smile starts to fall short as he sees the distress start to take over and he knows. "I remember it, I know you want to ask."
"Yeah..." You nod and you swear you just swallowed your own heartbeat. "That's....fucked." You nod with wide eyes. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be, not your fucking fault. I'll be fine." Jason shakes his head and he desperately cannot talk about it. Not like this. He can already feel his hands start to grow clammy and cold. They're nearly vibrating against your suit. "Can we not..."
"Yeah." You smile softly as you run your fingers through his hair. You change the subject more light-hearted. "What's up with the hair?" You laugh softly as the white strands fall through your fingers.
Jason's eyes look up as the strands fall onto his forehead. "Fucking stupid, right?"
"I like it, actually. It looks good on you." You drop your hand, a smile splitting your face.
Jason's heart thunders against his ribs and he hasn't felt happy since coming back, not really. He's been a little busy getting things in motion for him and Crane. There was of course a weird relief and happiness of being alive but that was just immediately followed by guilt and anxiety, like he distrubed the forces of nature by coming back. The drug helps that fear, too. And it helps the guilt, a lot more than Jason really realized it would. But, he hasn't felt happy and he finds himself looking down at you and he feels a sense of happiness. It's different than before, but it's there like a small light hidden in the back of his heart.
"You think so?" Jason raises a brow at you.
"Yeah, of course." You laugh softly.
You know you need to have a longer discussion about everything. But, this small exchange about his hair feels normal. Maybe, instead of the back and forth about everything that's too heavy, shelving those things is better. For right now. It always worked that way with both of you anyway. Shelf it for a little bit and circle back. You always made more progress when you did that.
"I really missed you, Jay." Your smile starts to fall.
"I missed you, too, princess." Jason smirks and you roll your eyes. "How have you been holding up?" Jason asks cautionly and he's not really sure why he asked. He knows the answer.
You shake your head. "Gar told me he was worried Dick would have me committed. So, there was that. I told Bruce off finally. Babs did, too. Told off the Titans again. Burned down Jerry's old house."
Jason lets out a laugh. "I was being fucking sarcastic." Jason shakes his head. "Flame thrower?"
"I told Gar that's what you would say!" You laugh. "No, just acid and a few matches."
"Fuck." Jason lets out a sigh through a smile. "Wish I could've seen it."
"You would have loved it. It, uh, it burned to the ground. Gar wasn't too happy about it but uh, ya know, he let me do it."
"Why did you have Gar with you anyway?" Jason questions knowing damn well that would not have been your first choice to have him with you as you commit arson.
"Oh, he's my babysitter now." You roll your eyes.
"Why? What did you do?"
"I may have killed a guy yesterday and another one this morning, not sure if Dick knows about that one yet."
Jason's brows furrow before he quirks one up. "The fuck are you killing people for?" Jason's heart sinks and he didn't want her to have blood on her hands.
"Uh," You raise a brow. "You decapitated six people." You stare up at him and Jason nods his head. "Exactly. Which, by the fucking way, what the fuck? Don't tell me just...what the fuck?" You scrunch your face before shaking your head quickly. "Because they fucking suck. Guys like Pete Hawkins who you beat me to, by the way."
Jason laughs as his nose scrunches. "Oh, I'm so sorry I didn't know you were gonna start killing dickweeds."
"Good, you should be." You grin back. "Yeah, so, uh, Dick's mad about it and made Gar come with me and it was a whole thing. But, you have the Titans busy tonight so I didn't have to lose him like I did this morning."
Jason shakes his head and he has to ask. Jason knows where your moral compass was. You would have killed Jerry had he not stopped you and a part of him thinks you would have tried to kill Dr. Light if you were on your own. He knows you killed some of the men from CADMUS, in self-defense. But, you decided, after he died, to actually start killing so he has to ask.
"Are you doing that because of me?"
"Yes and no." You shrug. "You, me, Molly, Dick, Diego, all the others. For all of us. Like we talked about but uh, I'm just taking it a step further into permanent. What about you? Is that why you're going after who you are?"
As much as he didn't want you to have blood on your hands, he can't very well disagree. He gets it. He's still somehow surprised and not. And a part of him almost finds it a little amusing. He dies and comes back to clean up the city as Red Hood and from the top. Meanwhile, he dies and you decide to start killing the guys that don't make it to Bruce's radar.
"Kind of yeah." Jason nods. "Organized crime. Can't stop it completely but you can run it, control it from the top."
You let out a laugh. "Yeah, that's smart." You shake your head. "Better than nothing."
"Exactly." Jason chuckles.
"I'm really happy you're alive, Jay." You nod your head up at him before you brush his hands off of you and close the remaining distance between you, wrapping your arms around his middle.
You can feel him relax under you again and it's like it was before. He pauses for a few seconds and then wraps his arms around you. He presses a kiss to the top of your head as you squeeze him and it feels like it's supposed to. It's not supposed to hurt. It's not supposed to be sad and heartbreaking and bitter and sour. It's supposed to be just him and you. The two of you together. And that's how you are on this rooftop. And Jason wants to be relieved because you're hugging him but he knows you shouldn't and he knows he needs to ask about sides. Titans are on his list. You're a Titan.
"Hey, uh," Jason clears his throat. "Are you working with the Titans?"
You pull away looking up at him with confusion. "No? Moral dispute situation and you're keeping them busy. Why?"
He can't tell you but he thinks if he tells you that one more time, you might punch him.
"Keep it that way." Jason states.
"Are you really going to target them? They're....they're your friends. Your family."
"They're gonna keep coming after me." Jason keeps it short and it's not a full lie.
"And if you told Dick you're alive, you know, he might actually understand, right? Like, he might fuck off. You're the reason the Titans are back. Red Hood."
"No." Jason scoffs as he shakes his head. "You know how Dick is with me."
"He's had your back since you died, Jay. And...he's been there for me, too. I mean, he's actually doing kind of a job at the whole leader thing right now. You should talk to him." You press softly.
"No." Jason shakes his head as his jaw squares and you find this to be weird. Jason doesn't talk about his feelings but he doesn't even have to. He should just show up. That's all it'll take. He has to know that. Doesn't he? "It'll be all about him being fucking right and doing better or whatever. It's not fucking worth it and I'm not going back to before."
"What does that mean?" You ask as your brows knit together in confusion. All you want to know is where the hell this is even coming from. They were fine before he died.
"Nothing. Just...don't work with them, alright?"
"You're not gonna tell them you're alive?" You question him as the pieces start to connect.
Jason shakes his head. "No and can you not tell them? Please."
"Jason, how the hell can you ask me to do that? Gar is your best friend. And you want me to go back to the manor, look your best friend and your bother in the eyes and not tell them you're alive?"
"Yeah." Jason nods once. "Look, it fucking sucks but if you tell Gar then you gotta tell everyone because Gar's face will give it away. Dick will tell everyone, too. This has to stay between us."
"But why? You're alive and that's a good thing in case you forgot? Like...Jay..."
"No, I know." Jason nods.
"You can't tell me?"
"No." Jason nods his head.
"You fucking suck." You let out a sigh. "Fine, but you better come clean with Gar and Molly soon. I can't lie to them for weeks. They'll hate me."
"I know." Jason nods quickly. "I'll tell them but not right now."
"Okay, Jay." You roll your eyes. "So, you're telling me not to work with the Titans. Can you give me some sort of a reason not to? I know, you can't tell me. But, come on, Jay. Give me something."
Jason pauses for a second, bouncing ideas in his head before he settles on one. "Think about it, if you work with them you have to go against me. And if you don't, they'll come after you, too. Don't want you in the middle of it." Jason explains and it's not a lie.
He really, truly, does not want you in the middle of it. You're the one who'd get hurt in all of it. But, it's also because Jason knows Crane is going to want more information on you. He didn't tell him nearly enough before he died and Jason doesn't want to. Instead, he'd rather assure Crane that you're not an issue because you're not working with the Titans, as loyalty to him.
"Alright." You let out a sigh. "That's...a good point." You know if it came down to it, if you really really needed to pick a side, it would be Jason's. And you do not want to do that. His reasoning is good enough for you. "Okay." You nod softly.
"Thank you."
"Mhm, ya owe me, Jaybird." You flash a grin at him.
"Anything for you." Jason's voice drops as his brows knit together and he offers you a sarcastic nod.
"Oh, is that so? Anything?" You give him a wild grin as you look at his lips.
"Anything, babe." Jason teases, dipping his head down slightly.
Your lips brush over his. "I'd really like Excellent Gotham right now actually."
Jason's head tilts back with a laugh. "It's not even that good!"
"It's the best! You have bad taste!" You laugh back.
"Shut up." Jason groans, cupping your face with one hand and bringing your lips to his.
Jason feels you smile against his lips and he gets this sense of home again. Your mouth moves with his and he feels like he's been sucked right back home. It's a warming feeling but then thoughts of the manor come back and Bruce and Robin and the Joker. Home doesn't feel the same anymore because he died and he let you and Bruce down. Home doesn't feel the same anymore because it's not safe there. Home isn't the same because Bruce didn't kill the Joker, not even for him. That's what Crane said and Jason knows Bruce's morals. Home isn't home because he's lying to you and he feels guilty. It all feels a little too heavy again. And he can't do it right now. So, he pulls away.
"I'm sorry." Jason shuts his eyes for a second and you feel your heart stop. Not again. "I-I gotta go." Jason swallows thickly.
"W-what? W-why?" You ask.
"I just do." Jason nods down at you and he's begging for you to forgive him. Jason presses a kiss to your forehead and backs away. Your entire body erupts in chills and he can't leave. Not again. "I'll call you." Jason pulls out a burner phone from his pocket and hands it over. His hands are shaking again and you're thrown into a worrying spin.
"Jay--"
Jason shakes his head. "I'm fine, alright? Take it and I'll call you. I promise." Jason urges as you take the phone from him.
"You're....you're gonna leave?" You ask as your eyes start to water. "B-but uh, I don't want you to." You look down and try to tug at the ends of the sleeves of your suit and Jason hates himself for doing this. You'll understand later. You have to.
"I have to. I have some shit I gotta get to. But, look, I'll be fine." Jason kisses your cheek and takes a step back. "You and me?"
You watch him with a breaking heart. You knew he wouldn't come back with you because he wants this to be a secret but you were really hoping you'd have more time. There's never enough time.
"You and me." You nod and Jason offers you a sad smile as he goes to walk away and you don't want him to. "Please, don't leave me again, Jay."
Jason freezes in his stance, his jaw clenching. Your voice shatters his heart. It's desperate and soft and weak as if you're clawing at all of your self-control to keep it together again. If it were just you and him, he would never. He'd go back with you. And maybe there is a tiny part of him that questions the whole plan. But, he can't do that because he knows Crane is right.
This is the way to get the city back because Bruce was wrong. This is the only way. And Jason wants his own revenge. He can't do that if he goes back. Jason swears he deserves his own revenge for everything that happened to him. Crane is right about mostly everyone. But, it is agonizing hearing you ask him not to leave and knowing he has to. This is the hardest thing he's ever done.
"I'm so sorry." Jason turns around. "I'll be fine, trust me. I'll call you."
"I love you." You state, chewing the inside of your cheek as you desperately try not to burst into tears again.
There's the smallest bit of relief that comes over him. He was hoping you still did.
"Love you, too. Don't do anything fucking stupid, alright? And don't worry so much. Get some damn sleep and go back to the manor and eat something. I'm fine."
"You don't do anything fucking stupid. And you should get some sleep and eat." You quip back weakly.
"Yeah, alright." Jason chuckles. "I'll call you, swear." Jason turns back around and heads back inside.
A few tears leak from your eyes as you quickly wipe them away. You have no idea what to make of this whole thing. None of it makes any sense. But he has to be real now. It all has to be real. He's alive and he seems...well given the circumstances. And you have no choice but to trust him, it's just really hard.
The burner starts ringing just as you put your mask back on.
"Hello...?"
"Told you'd I'd call you." Jason says through the helmet.
A smile tugs at your lips. He's still a shithead. "Yeah, okay." You roll your eyes.
"Just wanted you to know I mean it. I'm not leaving you like that again, alright? Trust me."
This small gesture does ease some of your worry. Not all of them, not even close but enough. Maybe you have a little bit of hope it'll be okay this time. It has to be. "Okay, Jay. Please, be safe out there."
"I will. You, too. Don't do anything fucking stupid." Jason chuckles.
"Of course not." You laugh back as you make your way back into the building. "I only do stupid shit when I'm with you."
Jason laughs on the other end. "Sure, babe." Jason quips. "Love you." Jason says.
"I love you, too." You smile softly as Jason hangs up.
As you walk back into the building and head out to your bike, you think about everything Jason said. Jason is usually very careful with his words, when he needs to be anyway. Which makes you think that's what he was doing, being careful not to reveal too much but just enough. He's working with someone but he can't tell you who. Of all people, Jason knows he can trust you. He's trusting you not to tell your best friends he's alive, but he can't tell you that? That's odd. He said he got help with being scared and the shaking and nightmares. What in the fuck is that even supposed to mean? Sure, it's great he's back and he's alive and you're relieved but those things are worrisome.
You're not supposed to dig but you like to dig. You like to have all of the answers especially when it comes to Jason so you get back to the manor and head to the Batcave. You hang up your suit before you sit at the Batcomputer. You tap the keys as you think.
If anyone knows Jason, it's going to be you. If anyone can figure it out, it's going to be you. And while he told you not to, you have to. He came back from the dead, literally woke up, and decided to be a crime lord. There is something off about that and you need an answer. You need to know he is actually safe with everything that's going on. Though, you will give him the fact everyone else seems to be scared of him now. That's at least nice.
Jason, on the other hand, does not feel relieved. This is for the best. Crane is right. The city doesn't need Batman. It needs someone new, someone willing to do all of this shit Bruce was too cowardly to do. His ways don't work here. They never have. It's Jaosn's turn to take over. Control the crime instead of trying to get rid of it. Organized crime is better than whatever the hell is going on in Gotham today. But, he feels guilty anyway.
He went out behind your back and he died. He never got to say goodbye. You never got to say goodbye and you found him. It was so wrong of him to think you wouldn't. It happened to him and he has the privilege of not seeing the aftermath of what the Joker did to him. He has to deal with the trauma that comes with it and he lives through it, which is its own hell but he put you through a different hell by you being the one to find him. He can only imagine what you saw. And he hates that thought.
And he hates the way you looked at him. Torn between disbelief and what he swears was hatred. He never meant for any of this to happen and yet, you're the one that got hurt in the crossfire. It was selfish, he tells himself. It was selfish not to just tell you. He remembers thinking that before he blacked out. He remembers wishing he would have told you and he still won't. He has the opportunity now to tell you and he just can't. He knows Crane has good intentions but there's something pecking at the back of his head that says to keep you out of it. It's Jonathan Crane. He trusts him but Crane might not trust you and that's a problem. He knows it. So, he has to deal with it.
By taking out the inhaler and inhaling a deep breath as his pupils glow a bright yellow. The fear and guilt and pain and worry fade away from his veins. The pecking goes dark and he feels nothing. He feels nothing at all anymore, not even the relief of feeling nothing. He's just numb and it's so much better than the alternative as he heads back to the basement in Arkham to prepare for the next step.
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You search the Batcomputer for the night Jason died. You've avoided it. You saw him that night and that was enough for you. You don't need to see it actually take place but you look for the footage anyway. Some part of you thinks maybe if you can find it, you'll figure out what's really going on. Jason is back from the dead and that's great, but something lead him to the Joker that night. And he did not offer you a good enough explanation. Maybe the answer is in the footage. Someone had to know he was going to go out there and likely die. You want an answer as to who that is and why they would do it to him. It had to be some sort of setup somehow. So, you find the footage because of course Bruce didn't delete it and you press play as you hold your breath.
You watch Jason enter the amusement park. Your heart starts to race and you swear you're not going to watch the whole thing. You don't need to. So, you have your hand ready to pause it. Jason looks around at the closed-down games but The Joker appears on camera but Jason's not turning around. Your brows furrow, fully expecting Jason to realize the Joker is right there but he doesn't.
You don't get why he's not turning around. He has to know the Joker is there, he has to know. Jason has really good instincts with being on the streets and Robin training. How is he missing this? And then one of the games goes off and Jason turns around, a look of fear on his face before the Joker smacks him with the crowbar.
You pause the video as quickly as your reflexes will allow you. You clench your jaw as you remember what he looked like that night. It'll be forever burned into your eyes. Your hands start to shake as your eyes start to burn. You chew your cheek hard enough to draw blood, trying to keep it together. He's alive. He's alive. He's alive. You repeat it over and over and over again. Trying to convince your own memories they're wrong.
You shake your head, fast-forwarding, barely looking at the screen until the Joker walks off with a pep in his step, proud of the job he's just done. You sniffle as you swallow the lump in your throat, your eyes trained on the screen as you watch Jason's lifeless body. A part of you thinks this was dumb because you're not getting any more answers. Instead, you're just retraumatizing yourself and getting more questions. It's not really helping but you had hope, it would show something. And it doesn't. You watch yourself appear on screen and that's enough. You pause it and run a hand over your face.
You take a few minutes to breathe and gather yourself before you play it back. You watch it over and over again, always stopping the second Jason jumps and then you rewind. There has to be a clue. There has to be because Jason left a fucking formula for a drug lying around. He got sloppy at some point so there has to be some sort of clue. So, you play it back so many times you lose count until you hear someone come in behind you.
You're quick to exit out of the video before you spin around to see Dick still in his Nightwing suit.
"Hey." You let out a shakey breath, eyeing Dick carefully.
"What are you doing?" Dick crosses his arms over his chest, looking at the blank screen behind you. He saw you exit out of something.
"Nothing." You shrug, brushing it off. If he knows, he'll definitely have you committed. "How'd it go?" You switch it back to him. "Nightwing."
"It was a setup." Dick scoffs but he's still watching you. You're up to something and Dick is really growing to dislike when you're up to something. Nothing good ever comes from it. "What were you looking at?" He presses.
"What do you mean a set-up?" You ask. "Just some stuff. It's nothing." You push. Dick narrows his eyes at you, holding his stance on withholding what happened tonight. You roll your eyes, thinking of a quick lie. "Ya know, it bothers me. Jason going after the Joker. If he wanted to prove himself, to you and Bruce, why the Joker? There are so many others that would have done that job and Jason was reckless, not stupid. The Joker was stupid. So...Bruce is a sick fuck and kept the footage. Thought maybe I'd find something, a why. Did not."
"Excuse me." Dick shakes his head, his eyes widening and the worry he felt before for you intensifies. "You watched--"
"No, I stopped it. I didn't watch the whole thing go down. I just watched until Joker showed up. Jason...he never saw him coming. I don't know. It's whatever, ya know? So, now ya know." You shrug your shoulders. "I'm fine, ya know, all things considered. So, it was a setup?"
"You really don't need to be watching that." Dick scolds.
"I know. I won't again." You nod your head softly, looking to your lap and then back to him.
"He lured us to the bank using the kidnappings as a ploy. They were never in danger. Gar and Conner found them in a few vans, safe. The bank was a set up to blow it up with us." Dick explains.
Now that you know Red Hood is Jason, most of that isn't surprising. Him targeting the Titans though, that's still weird.
"Shit." You nod your head. "I mean, at least the kids and parents are okay." You states. "Still no idea who he is?"
"No. We'll catch him though."
"Why? He's not doing anything worse than Penguin. Is he really a Titan problem?" You questions, more so worried for Jason's sake. And maybe you're worried for the safety of the Titans.
You wonder if being resurrected changes someone. Jason's messing with fate in a way. Fate took him, killed him and now he's back. It's a betrayal. Maybe fate decides to keep a part of his soul as a warning that it'll come back for him. Maybe that's why he's doing this. A part of him died and stayed dead. But, you think maybe that's not it because of how he was with her. All things considered, he seemed normal. Maybe it's the trauma of dying that changes someone. Jason says he remembers it, maybe that changed him, changed how he saw the Titans in a way. You aren't sure but it pecks at you anyway.
"Yes, he's getting people killed, kidnapping people, robbing banks. That's bad. This is a problem. And he's targeting us." Dick states with the raise of his brows. "The Robin clue was not a coincidence. He asked for me specifically." Dick's eyes narrow and he's growing suspicious. "Do you know something?"
"Why the fuck would I know anything? I'm just saying. He's not that fucking bad. I mean, it terms of Gotham freaks go." You defend. "Maybe that mother did do something but you missed it. I don't know."
"What were you doing tonight?" Dick questions and you can tell he's spinning this on you.
"Patrolling." You shrug. "You can check, I didn't kill anyone. Didn't even attack anyone tonight. You should be proud." You quip as you get up.
You feel bad about it. Jason is alive and you can't say a damn word. A big part of you believes that if Jason were to just come home, they could work it out. Whatever the hell is up with Jason and Dick now, they could work it out. It's not fair to withhold it and it's not fair Jason asked you to do that. So, you aren't going to tell Dick, but you're gonna ask a few questions. This is going to get messy when he finds out and you're going to be lodged in the middle of it. That's not what you want so when Dick finds out, you want to make sure you drop enough questions that he'll know you knew. And wanted to tell him. It's not technically betrayal if Dick doesn't figure it out.
"Do you think it's weird the new guy is targeting you guys?" You ask carefully. "I mean...you were in San Francisco. You didn't go on patrol at all until he asked for you. Don't you think that's weird?"
Dick nods his head and he is really getting the feeling you've figured something out and maybe you're willing to share for once. "Yes, of course, I think that's weird. That's one of the reasons it's important we find out who this guy is and bring him in."
"Right." You nod your head. "Well, you said Robin wasn't a coincidence so who knows you're Nightwing and Robin?"
"What makes you think he knows I was Robin? Maybe it was about Jason." Dick offers, gesturing out a hand before crossing it back with his other arm.
"Maybe, yeah. But, that would mean it would have to be someone who knows Nightwing also knew Robin. Either way, it has to be someone you know, right?"
"And you're telling me you don't know anything?" Dick's voice is a accusatory.
"I don't know anything, just thinking about that, too."
Dick lets out a sigh. "You could come along and help." Dick offers. "It might be good for you."
"Pretty sure you just don't want me to keep up with my hit list."
Dick holds the bridge of his nose, resting a hand on his hip. "You have a hit list?"
"Yes." You answer casually. "Uh," You furrow your brows because to be fair, maybe if this was some random guy you would take up the offer to run from the grief you're supposed to be in. But, it's Jason. You can't cross the line between the Titans and him. You won't pick between the two of them. Keeping his secret is bad enough. If you go with when they fight him eventually, that means you have to pick a side. You will not pick between them. "It's just...I know it might help but, uh, I just...I don't know. Can I think about it?" You ask.
Dick nods softly. "Yeah, of course." He offers a soft smile. "Just...let me know. We could use all the help we could get."
"Yeah." You nod letting out a soft sigh. He has no idea. And you feel horrible about it.
Jason is already making you pick between them and you'd be lying if you said there's a part of you that isn't already a little resentful. You aren't very good at making friends. It's always been you and Molly, Tim as an acquaintance. That's it. But, the Titans, most of them, feel like such a family to you. Gar is your best friend, Conner is really nice, Kory is protective and you look at her like an older sister. Dick is like an older brother, somehow. How can you keep lying to them?
"Seriously, are you okay?" Dick asks.
You nod. "As okay as someone can be, I guess." Your smile never meets your eyes as you look to the ground. "Just...uh, trying to figure out how to carry everything okay." You chew the inside of your cheek.
"You'll figure it out." Dick assures you. "You have us." He nods his head once.
"You're getting a lot better at this shit. It's kind of weird." You offer him a genuine smile. "Thanks. I'm, uh, I'm gonna go to bed. I'll hang around with discussions and stuff with Red Hood but I don't think I wanna go out with the team just yet." You nod softly, figuring knowing what's going on is better than just avoiding it entirely.
"Okay, you're always welcome to change your mind."
"Thanks, Dickolas." You laugh softly before you walk past him and head out of the Batcave.
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The next day, you find yourself in the Batcave with Gar, Kory, and Conner. Gar and Kory are playing chess while you and Conner are seated at the Batcomputer. Gar caught you up on everything that happened yesterday, including Dick going to Crane for help which is what has lead them to a game of chess. You think it's insane that Crane is even on the GCPD payroll. He's a master manipulator, but sure, they can definitely trust him.
There's a guilt pulling at the bottom of your stomach as you watch Gar and Kory play. Jason was his best friend and you can't say anything. Gar is understanding. He'll find out Jason's alive and you knew and he'll understand why you didn't tell him. That's just how Gar is but, you also know he's still going to be mad and he should be. You would be pissed if the roles were reversed but you have to try not to focus on that because at the end of the day, Jason is targeting them and they're targeting Jason.
You're seated on the floor, petting Krypto. "Can you guys even trust Crane on this one?" You look over to Gar and Kory.
"Is he that bad?" Kory asks, glancing over to you.
"Yeah, he made a fear gas and poisoned the city. It makes people live out their worst fears as if it's all real. It's insane and he's a master manipulator. I can't believe he's actually on the GCPD payroll." You roll your eyes.
"Dick said we can trust this. He's helped solve other cases." Gar assures you, still studying the board.
"Right..." You nod. "What's your plan then? Crack this and hunt him down? Send him to Arkham?"
Kory, Gar, and Conner look over at you confused. Gar knows when something is up. You're a lot better today than you were yesterday. You're not as snippy. He's glad, of course, but he's getting the feeling something is off anyway. You wanted nothing to do with this but Dick says you could help and suddenly you're on board. That's weird, even for you.
"Why? You said were going to help." Gar questions but he's not as good at digging for answers.
"Yeah, I mean...I said I'm fine with helping from here." You correct. You're definitely not actually helping, but they don't know that. "I'm just saying, it's Jonathan Crane, Scarecrow. And I don't know. Maybe Red Hood has a point or two. That's all." You shrug your shoulders.
"He decapitated six men." Kory states, a slight snip in her voice as she watches you.
"I'm not saying I agree with the decapitation." You defend and you definitely do not want to know what lead Jason to that method of murder. "Just saying I don't disagree with who he's killing."
"Whats going on with you?" Gar asks as Kory takes her turn.
"My boyfriend was brutally murdered by the Joker?" You quip. "Kind of don't care much anymore about how shit is stopped as long as it is stopped." You chew the inside of your cheek and it's not a lie. It's just...Jason is the one doing it.
"Right." Gar nods, unconvinced as he looks back to the board as him and Kory continue their game of chess.
Kory and Gar continue their game while Conner reads over a book on different chess moves. You actually find this to be quite nice. You get to know what they're planning before anything happens and you can warn Jason. And you aren't actually sabotaging anything. You don't know how to play chess, and Conner has the reading covered. You're really no help right now and that's fine with you. You're pretty content listening and petting Krypto.
"Do you always get this way when you get competitive?" Kory asks, pulling your attention to Kory and Gar. Gar has a grin on his face as he holds his head up with one hand, his other arm holding up his elbow. "By this way, I mean insane."
Gar chuckles softly. "I'm problem-solving." He states as he moves a chess piece.
"Yes, he does." You add in, earning a fake glare from Gar. You offer a wide-tooth grin in response.
"Birds opening. The answer's right in front of us. It's hidden in plain sight." Gar explains.
You roll your eyes. Jason loves to play games so it's not surprising he's literally using bird examples as clues. Though, you do wonder what is making him do it. It reminds you of the Riddler in a way.
"Speaking of Russians," Conner chimes in, pointing a finger at the book with a chuckle. "This guy, uh, this guy Bobby Fisher had the fillings removed from his mouth because he thought the Russians were using it as a radio channel--"
"Stop." Gar cuts him off suddenly, looking over at Conner.
"It's a fact." Conner says, his voice now depleted.
"Hold on. Fisher took out his own fillings?" Gar questions.
"Uh..." Conner stutters, his brows knitting together in confusion. "Not sure if I should talk or not."
"He did it because he thought the Russians were trying to beat him." Gar states, his attention back on the board. You look to Conner with just as much confusion. Gar lets out a chuckle as he gains a grin. "It was a defensive move. We're looking at this the wrong way." Gar sighs. "The answer isn't figuring out more of birds opening moves. It's how we beat it." Gar turns the board around so Kory's pieces are in front of him. You can't help but smile softly. There's just something about the way he gets when he figures something out. "Conner, top five defensive moves against Birds opening." Gar states.
You grab the book and hand it over to Conner. Dick walks in just then with furrowed brows as he watches Gar scramble to place the chess pieces while Conner flips through the book.
"I wouldn't." Kory states quickly, gesturing a hand to Dick. "He's on a roll."
"From's Gambit." Conner starts listing. "Uh, the modern defense. Fiancheto. Hobbs Gambit."
"Hobbs?" Dick questions, his attention pulling to Conner. Conner nods quickly and reads off what the play is.
You recognize the name from something Batman and Robin shut down years ago. You have to withhold your eye roll at the thought of it. Jason is just out there planning games with the codes and it's all coming back to Robin. Of course, it is.
"It's a group. They made explosives, right?" You look to Dick.
"Yeah," Dick says quickly as he rushes over to the Batcomputer. "Batman and I shut them down for street dealing." Dick pulls up the building and it shows a 911 call had just come in a few minutes ago.
Everyone gathers around, listening to the call. The other Titans don't know it, but it's Jason who made the call. You recognize the way the modulator sounds with his voice and your stomach sinks. He's really targeting them. Why? It doesn't make any sense. You know there has to be some sort of reason, but it's a little bothersome anyway.
"It's a bogus call." Dick states as he starts walking off. "He's leading them into a trap."
"Call Barbara." Kory states.
"I don't think she's taking my calls."
"We have to stop those cops." Gar says quickly, following after Dick and Conner and Kory follow him.
"You coming?" Gar looks back at you with hope in his eyes.
"Uh...no." You shake your head. "Gonna stay behind but good luck and be careful." You nod your head as you watch the rest of the Titans take off out of the Batcave, likely to get Hank and Dawn. Gar offers a sad but understanding smile before he heads off, too.
You watch until they're completely out of the Batcave. Once you're certain, they're out of the Batcave, you take out the burner Jason gave you yesterday. You hit redial and wait as the line rings. They're coming for him and while you have no fucking idea what he's up to, and you know he likely knows they're coming. It's a setup again. You have to warn him anyway, just in case. You can't lose him again.
"The Titans are on their way." You state as Jason answers the phone.
He cackles on the other end. The drug courses through his veins but something about you betraying the Titans makes him laugh. Something about it is a bit amusing. He knew you wouldn't side with them.
"Thanks." He states but he sounds different.
"You're welcome." You state and you would love to pry and find out what is actually going on. The laugh was odd, to say the least.
"Didn't think you'd betray them." It's almost like he's taunting you. His voice is casual but has some sort of bite of mixed amusement and snark.
You shake your head, brows knitting together. "Well, I just want you to be prepared."
"I'm always prepared." Jason quips back.
You don't like the way he sounds. Something is off. You think back to the footage before he died, how he should have known the Joker was there. You think about the fidgeting yesterday and how desperate he looked. Today, it's like he's a different person on this call. It's something you'd say you don't like very much.
"Okay, Jay." You let out a soft sigh.
"You going?" Jason asks but he's digging. You say you're not working with them which means you should stay back. He hopes you stay back.
"No." You let out a scoff. "Not working with them, you're good. Don't fucking kill any of them, Jason."
"They should stay out of the way." Jason warns.
"Uh-huh, right." You roll your eyes. "I'm serious. Don't kill them." You shake your head. "Good luck though."
"Thanks." Jason lets out a breath. "Won't need it." Confidence radiates through the phone.
"I know." You huff. "Call me after so I know you're okay, please."
"I will." Jason promises. "Thanks for staying back."
"You're welcome. You owe me." You smile softly.
"All you gotta do is ask, babe."
He laughs on the other end. He knew he could trust you. And he still loves you through the haziness of the drug. He does still feel that part. It's not nearly as strong with the drug flowing through his veins but it's there. He doesn't want you there because of it. But, you can handle yourself and you're clearly still on the same team. You're on his side.
"Okay, Jay." You laugh softly. "Love you."
"Love you, too." Jason responds back before he hangs up.
A part of you actually doesn't want to know. The more you know, the worse it'll be with you not telling the Titans anything. At least if the only thing you know is that he's alive, that's all you know. That's not that bad. But, he's acting weird and that's the part that you do want an answer for. You're not sure how you're supposed to get it.
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The Titans come back a few hours later, defeated. They did not get Red Hood, they just took down his men. You do your best to hide your relief. But, you intentionally avoid all of them until they're off into their separate rooms for the night. At that point, you find it safe to wind up in the kitchen for a small snack and to think.
You hop up on the kitchen island with a bowl of cereal and a cup of coffee. You keep going over how Jason was yesterday, how he seemed mostly normal. You keep falling back on his working with someone. You want to believe Jason wouldn't work with someone bad but if he were working with someone who had good intentions, he would tell you. Time and time again, you have proven you can keep your word to Jason. He would tell you which then brings you to wondering why the hell he would work with someone who isn't good? And you go back to the drug because he avoided an answer to that question. You start to worry that maybe he is taking something and that's why he's doing this whole Red Hood thing but you've known addicts and none of them decided to be a crime lord overnight.
Your head starts to ache from going in circles as footsteps echo into the kitchen before coming to an abrupt halt at the sight of you. You look up, eyeing Dick with a raised brow.
"Oh, you're awake..." Dick states, looking behind him and then back to you.
"Yeah?" You question. "Do any of us sleep normally?" You quip. "What're you doing?" You raise a brow at him, noticing he looks like he's on some type of mission. The winter coat being a dead giveaway.
"Nothing." Dick rolls his shoulders.
"You know, that's how the conversation went with Jason when I went after Jerry? What're you doing? Nothing. What're you doing?" You narrow your eyes at him. "You look like you're...on a mission?"
Dick lets out a sigh. "It's nothing."
You nod once. "Heard you guys didn't get 'im tonight. Anything to do with that?" You're digging and Dick can tell. Maybe you know.
Dick figures you have to know. You've been acting almost normal all day long. That's weird. Jason was just brutally murdered and you found his body. You snapped on everyone and started killing people but now you're fine? Dick is almost positive you have to know. If Jason were going to tell someone, it would be you.
Dick closes the distance between you and lowers his voice. "Did you know?"
"Could you possibly get any more vague, Dickolas?" You quip as your heart sinks.
He can't know. How the hell would Dick know?
"Jason." His jaw is squared.
You swallow thickly. Jason told you you couldn't tell anyone. How the fuck did Dick figure it out? But, you're not just going to fold.
"Fucking know what, dude? Spit it the fuck out." You snap.
"Did you know he's alive?" Dick's voice is stern, a warning hint to it not to lie to him.
"W-what?" You ask shortly, digging to find out exactly what he knows.
"Don't bullshit me." Dick warns. "Did you know? I broke his helmet tonight, saw him, and I talked to him."
You hang your head as you scrunch your nose. "Yeah." You look up at him with apologetic eyes. "Yeah, I found out yesterday." You admit and if Dick knows, you don't have to keep it a secret. Jason did not say anything about that.
"Unbelievable." Dick backs away. "You knew and you didn't tell any of us?"
"He asked me not." You shake your head and Dick can see the guilt washing over your face. "I wanted to tell you guys. At least you and Gar but he asked me not to." You shrug softly. "I, uh, just been trying to figure out how the fuck he's real."
"You're not sure?" If anyone would know if Jason is really alive, it would be you.
"I-I don't know." You answer. "I mean...I mean yeah like...it has to be him but...resurrection is kind of insane. So...I don't know."
Dick hangs his head for a second and he feels bad for you. You're caught in the middle of the Titans and Jason. He gets why you didn't tell them even if he's pissed about it. But, you're over here trying to figure out if he's really alive just like Dick is. There is one way you can find out.
"Come on." Dick gestures for you to follow him as he heads for the door leading to the courtyard.
You put your bowl down quickly before hopping off of the counter and following Dick quickly.
The two of you start your walk through the courtyard and to a shed. Dick unlocks it and opens it while you stand outside in the dark, holding your phone for a flashlight. Dick hasn't said a single word on your walk and you're kind of afraid to say anything back. He is surely on a mission. At this point, you're thinking you've all lost your minds. Gotham is taking everyone's sanity.
"Here." Dick pops out a minute later holding two shovels and offering you one.
You take it slowly. "Why the fuck are you handing me a shovel?" You look down at it before you look back at Dick.
"Only one way to find out if it's really him." Dick's face is hard while yours falls.
"You want us to go dig up his fucking grave?! Have you lost your fucking mind?!" You yell.
The last thing you want to do is go digging into Jason's grave. First of all, that's just...that's wrong. That's supposed to be his resting place and you're going to disturb it. You've seen that horror movie a time or two and you do not want to be haunted. And you're thinking of the decomp process and what a body would look like after a week. You already saw him the night he died, you don't need to see him decomposing if Jason is actually still dead.
"How else are we going to know?" Dick asks.
"I-I don't know! But what if we're wrong? We'll be...that's....ya know? Like...he's buried there." You say with hesitance.
"You don't have to help if you don't want to. I just thought you'd want the same answer." Dick lets out a breath. "And if I'm gonna do this, I thought it'd be right if you knew."
"Since I caught you." You correct him.
"Yeah." Dick nods. "Do you have a better idea?"
"No." You huff. "Fine but this is fucking ridiculous."
"You're telling me." Dick scoffs as the two of you make your way to the family cemetery.
You still think it's weird Bruce has this on his property to begin with but in the grand scheme of grave robbing, you're pretty happy about it right about now. Even if digging up Jason's grave feels wrong.
The two of you start digging as lightning strikes from above you. You dig and dig in complete silence, almost worried about saying something into existence. On the one hand, you're worried he's dead and he's under you right now. You're going to disturb him and that's not right. But, on the other hand, what if he's alive? What if he really is? You need to know.
"All you." You let out a sigh, hopping out of the grave as you and Dick hit the casket.
Dick looks over to you and the two of you nod before Dick opens the casket.
It's empty.
"Fuck." Dick lets out a sigh.
"Fucking Gotham." You shake your head even if relief fills your chest.
Jason Todd is alive.
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series masterlist | masterlist | tag list
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A/n: I promise I'm going somewhere with Jason not knowing Bruce killed the Joker because of who I am as a person lol
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Tag list: @fairyofshampoo // @italiana-20 // @jasontoddsmentaldisorders // @purplerose291 // @lovelessamai  // @makaelaseresin // @lenidaslenchen // @mayfieldss  // @ghostkingblake // @im-done-with-this-im-out // @velvetskies // @lilylovelyxo // @cryinghotmess // @yesimwriting // @vivian-555 // @stainedstardom // @baebeepeach // @legend-o-zelda // @harleycao // @somehow-lovable-trash  // @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx // @deyja-the-duck // @jasontoddslover //  @captainmarvels-blog // @totallynotkaibiased // @scarlovesyou // @whydoyoucare866 // @littlemeowmeow1000 // @ginger24880 // @septixtrash // @kplatzman
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effloradox · 1 year
Text
musical!beetlejuice + sfw alphabet
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A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
so physically affectionate, will not leave you alone (if you're okay with that!!), he's so obviously touch starved that once you're in a (tentatively named) relationship it becomes free game that he can and will be touching you at all times
cuddles are a must, will ask you any time you are alone together (and it can and sometimes does lead to more)
he also really likes giving gifts but he is terrible at it (the maitlands have told him on numerous occasions that he can’t give you body parts as gifts, it’s not really sunk in yet) but he’s trying his best!! and he’s so endearing when he gives you anything!
if you gift him anything he will boast to literally everyone he haunts for like a fortnight afterwards
he loves when you initiate the affection though!! like wow this person is choosing to do this, he didn't have extort, torture, or lie for this!! please get him some therapy
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
post-canon, lydia ends up with a chaos demon best friend and lucky you, you're going to be dragged into all the chaos that takes place! (and potentially be damage control / the voice of reason)
the deetz-maitland household has barely known peace since the two of them became best friends, and now you’re included with that, good luck!!
both of them will listen to you (sometimes) so you'll be invited to join in with scaring the shit out of the pizza delivery guy :) it's a good couples bonding activity don't question it
you're always very willing to help if it's aimed at someone who was being creepy with lydia, that's when you have to convince the two of them that they can't murder the guy that did it (even if you agree with them)
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
as mentioned before, he’s literally obsessed, can and will take every single opportunity to cuddle you
the first time you initiate it, he will turn bright pink and vanish from the room, he can’t believe someone actually wants to be near him like that
he'll get used to it quickly though!!!
will force you to sit down so he can rest his head in your lap sometimes, he absolutely loves it
he purrs if you mess with his hair!! please do it, he'll love you forever (and lydia thinks it's hilarious)
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
do not let him cook for you unsupervised!!!! he will use bleach thinking it'll enhance the flavor profile and you will end up with an early ticket to the netherworld!! please do not consume anything he made without consulting the maitlands beforehand!!!
he likes to say he's your house spouse because he stays at home most of the time <3 (you've tried pointing out that he has a job and he does nothing around the house but he always pulls you into a kiss and that always ends the conversation)
he's pretty well set up where he is right now, living between your place and the deetz-maitland house, he considers himself to be settled down right now
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
lol he would just not do that
boy has major abandonment issues and would overlook any and all red flags any parter presented (also y'know he's a demon, for him some red flags are green flags)
I think it would be intervention from someone in the Deetz-Maitland family that would actually have to initiate any kind of break up because I just don't see him doing so
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
his green card marriage to lydia does not get brought up a lot in the house (unsurprisingly) now he's been summoned and welcomed into the house, he's less set on life via marriage because hey he has a pretty good set up going on right now without being alive, why mess with a good thing and potentially ruin it y’know
would still want to marry you eventually, but isn't going to push it too much until you start bringing it up too (doesn't wanna scare you off before he can put a ring on it y'know?)
if it leads to him being alive again then that's just a bonus
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
he does try to keep in mind that you're a living being and do not have the limits of a dead person but he forgets sometimes ):
will forget that you need to breathe when he's kissing you and wonder why you're trying to push him away
he can be gentle though!! when he remembers that you're flesh and bone
if you're in a bad mood he will proceed to dote on you in the same way that you dote on him
he's not all chaos, he can he soft when the situation arises for it (and only around people he trusts, he's got a reputation to maintain y'know?)
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
I keep talking about hugs but the ghost with the most just loves them so much 😭
all the physical affection all the time please babes <3
he hugs everyone in the house quite a lot (this was less endearing when he stank of rot and death but now he showers occasionally it’s a more welcome method of affection)
an easy solution initially was to spray him with room spray so at least he stank of flowers or pine
he does all kinds of hugs but the most common type is bear hugs that squeeze all the air out of your lungs
I = I Love You (How quickly would they say it? Would they say it a lot or rarely?)
he would say it pretty quickly, whether he means it initially is sort of up for debate, many members of the household think he only said it so quickly in the hope that you’d summon him (that did not work out if that was his intention)
it's a sweet moment and he will pull you into a kiss and no one will see the two of you for a few days <3
you’ll be able to tell the first time he says it and means it because his hair will turn magenta and he’ll try and laugh it off
if you say it back he will lose his ability to speak for a good few minutes (it’s one of the only times he’s ever been speechless in front of you)
he will say it constantly after that!! every person that meets him will know that you're in love after that :) very proud demon <3
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
he’s a demon and he’s quite territorial, jealousy is a big sticking point in anyone’s relationship with him
it’s not just with you, he gets jealous of people who get close to lydia and 'threaten' his position as best friend, he gets jealous of any work friends of charles’ who come round to view the house, it comes from his fear of being abandoned and you’re all working on ways to healthily navigate those feelings with him
he’s not perfect, and neither is anyone else, and it does sometimes feel like he’s not making any progress, but then you remember when he almost ripped someone’s heart out their chest because they winked at you a few months ago and how now he’d just growl loudly at them, and you realise that he is making progress with it, just slowly
he thinks it's absolutely hilarious if you got jealous over someone flirting with him though (do not let him know, you'll never hear the end of it)
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
messy af. that's it, that's how he kisses.
he will take any opportunity to dip you and kiss you in front of others, especially anyone who made the mistake of trying to make a move on you in front of the bug man
will kiss you anywhere and everywhere, he's a demon, he's not afraid to get messy
loves if you kiss his forehead or nose or somewhere more platonic, it makes him feel loved in a way that he isn't used to
cheesy kisses like on the back of your hand are a must <3
L = Little ones (How are they around children?)
do not let him around children unsupervised!!!! do not do that!!!!
he will traumatise them and then no one's happy!!!!
if he says he's going to do a puppet show, do not let him proceed, it will not be a fun puppet show and it may end with your favourite book in the fire and the child in question crying
he likes being around kids cause he can fuck with them and no one believes them, just don't leave him on his own because then it will end with a kid having nightmares for the next few years...
is the kind of person to start a conversation with “hey kid, do you want to see something gross?” before pulling a severed finger from one of his many coat pockets (you search his pockets every time and never find any loose body parts, you’re not sure where he pulls them from)
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
he is absolutely not a morning person in any sense of the word
absolutely hates being woken up before noon
good luck getting out of bed to go to work, he will wrap an arm around you and will not let go until you threaten to banish him back to the netherworld
likes to lie on you when you are asleep so enjoy the human-shaped ice block resting on you (which is great in summer when it's hot but less good in winter when it's already cold)
slow and quiet mornings are needed because he will be groggy when he wakes up
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
depends if he's working or not!
if he’s not working then it’s horror movie night!
don't like horror films? you will by force if he has anything to do with it!! let's watch the Exorcist again babes, it won't be as scary now you've seen it 20 times!!
if he's at work he's all pouty before he has to go, like he's clingier than usual with all of you, whilst the puppy dog eyes are out in full force
he loves scaring people for a living, but he hates leaving you guys )): but you can't go with him to the netherworld so he just has to suck it up and gothe sooner he goes, the sooner he comes back right <3
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
he doesn’t think he’s revealed a lot about himself for the time he’s been around you but he has, it’s just been made through jokes about his trauma (I’m serious, get him a therapist)
it blows his mind when you casually say something he doesn’t think you know like how do you know that??? you actually listen to him???
he’s been so used to being invisible that he talks aloud to himself a lot so if you actually listen, you’ll probably have learned more about him then he’ll have meant for you to
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
by you and the Maitland-Deetz’s? not very easily
it’s something he’s worked on a lot since lydia summoned him back to their house, he didn’t want to risk being banished back to the netherworld again
by other people, it depends on what they do
people flirting with you or someone being mean to lydia is the quickest way to get his hair flushing red and his self-control straining
he does try, but he’s a demon, there’s only so much he can do that doesn’t go against his very nature
he’s made progress though, you’re all very proud of him
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
he’s bad with dates of events, it comes with how old he is
he will try his best but he just doesn’t have the head for it
he remembers a lot of what you and lydia say to him, less so for the others
you’ve learned if you want him to do something it’s better to leave notes somewhere he’ll see them rather than just saying it cause there’s a better chance that he’ll do it (but it’s still not guaranteed)
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
first ‘I love you’s probably
it really cemented that you actually like him and wanted to be around him, it was a very emotional experience for him
he speaks about it fondly to the others (and then he goes into graphic detail about what happened afterwards and that’s when the others have to cover their ears)
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
extremely protective of the whole family and the house, all of you know if anyone ever tried to break in, he'd probably kill them
the clones are helpful for that, he can always have a clone keeping an eye on things if he's away or otherwise occupied (plus adam and barbara can't leave so there's always someone there)
he likes to spend most of his time with either you or lydia, but sometimes he does have to go to netherworld for business and that's when he starts getting antsy
his hair'll be a mix of purple and yellow before he goes and no amount of reassurance can get it to change back to green
he tries to come home as quickly as possible, and if he’s going to be away from a while he will try and insist that you stay with the Deetz-Maitlands so you’re all together
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
he tries his best but dates are not gonna sink in for him, he'll try for special occasions but small things like the first time you kissed or something are just not gonna stick in his head
mentioned before but he does love giving gifts (of varying quality and safety)
he gave you a baby sandworm once, it destroyed one of the walls in your house and he wasn't allowed in your apartment until the wall was fixed
you’ve tried to get him to get approval of any gifts from Adam and Barbara since then
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
he’s not clean. at all.
even when he’s washed (which is done rarely) he still smells like he’s just been buried
you’ve taken to filling your house with scented candles and incense sticks to try and offset the smell but it doesn’t cover it completely
air freshener spray downs when he first appears are pretty common for you, you go through at least a bottle a week
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
lol have you seen this man, he’s absolutely not (apart from his hair)
it’s taken time but he will shower now!! he hates it but will do it (also if you say you’ll wash his hair he’ll only grumble rather than full-on complain about it)
is very picky about who touches his hair, says it takes him forever to get it to look like that (you've watched him stick his fingers into a plug socket to shock himself so it'll stand up so you doubt that)
you know he can wear different clothes to his suit but it's very rare that he actually does so (when you first got him to shower he did so in the suit, it was...an experience)
he likes it if you wear his suit though 👀👀😉
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
yes but also no? he's a demon, he was alive way before you were born and will be alive long after your natural death, so in that way he wouldn't because he's already been him
on the otherhand yes, he would feel incomplete, you're the first breather to ever make him feel more than lust, it does worry him what will happen when you die (but also y'know when you die you can be together forever!! won't that be fun!!)
he doesn't worry too much about what you dying will mean for your relationship, right now he's just keeping it at the back of his mind
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
animals seem to really like him oddly enough
he prefers animals on the creepier side but it’s funny watching random animals just approach him when he’s outside
he says he can understand them, though none of you know if he’s serious or if he’s joking about it
you have overheard him speaking to a pigeon as though he was mid-conversation with it when he thought no one was there but the jury’s out on it
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
the deetz-maitland household are very important to him, if you don't get on with them on a serious level it would be an issue for him
there’s accommodation of any disagreements but if either party had a serious issue with the other it would make him very anxious about a future with the partner, especially if the relationship is still fairly new
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)
he sometimes starts floating when he falls asleep, so good luck if you were cuddling him!
you have woken up in the night several times to find yourself on the ceiling, no it never gets any less terrifying, yes he finds it hilarious when you frantically wake him up cause you’re terrified of falling back to the ground
can and does sleep like a dead man, he’s grumpy if he’s woken up before he’s actually done sleeping (charles once tried to get him out of bed for a house meeting on etiquette, it didn’t go well and charles won’t talk about the incident)
he falls asleep in the weirdest places sometimes, lydia has a growing collection of photos of him in increasingly weird places
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spooky-all-year-round · 9 months
Text
If Things Were Different.
Sebastian x Female!Mc/reader
TW: ANGST, major spoilers for late game in Sebastian's story, swearing, Sebastian being an ass (but he feels bad), hints at death, violence, self hate, self doubt, the reader is pissed, you are MC
Dust and debris everywhere, you were sweating from all the fire spells cast to combat the inferi and from the running to doge spells from Solomon. You were kneeling on the ground, trying to catch your breath. Sebastian was to your left and winding up for a spell at Solomon, the lightning energy around his wand gave away his intentions. You cast a quick depulso on Solomon, and in your panic the spell was strong enough to knock him back and he crumpled to the floor, unconscious. Sebastian's spell hit the wall opposite of him, leaving a large crater in it. A few pebbles actually made it far enough to hit you.
"Sebastian what the hell was that?!" Your voice echoed in the cave. Your blood was boiling. He promised! He said no more! How could you have trusted him after he went back on his word before? You were too angry for tears, pure rage had you trembling as your glare met his.
"Why did you stop me? He attacked us! He was going to turn us in!" The look in his eyes made it seem like he was going to curse you next. His non-wand hand was clenching and unclenching. He didn't understand, how could you have stopped him? He was saving you BOTH. Soloman had to be stopped, there was no other way.
A quick glance at Solomon confirmed he was still breathing. You gripped your wand a bit tighter and looked back at him before answering, "I couldn't let you do that to one of your only family members left! You would've -"
"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS GOING TO DO!" His voice was so loud it had your ears ringing. He was blinded by anger over Solomon attacking you both, over the hatred of Soloman stopping his efforts to save Anne AGAIN. The end of his wand was crackling with sparks, his overflowing emotions seeping out through it in the form of pure magic.
"Sebastian please, if I hadn't done that you would've been haunted by your actions forever." You were trying to reason with him, but you should've learned there is no reasoning with him when he's angry. Let alone this angry.
"I thought you were just ignorant, running around with goblins and playing the hero! But now I know you're down right FUCKING STUPID! YOU THINK NOTHING CAN HARM YOU! THAT PEOPLE ARE INHERENTLY GOOD! HE WOULD HAVE GLADLY SEEN YOU DEAD, OR WORSE IN AZKABAN! YOU COMPLETELY DAFT WOMAN." His chest was puffed out, teeth bared and eyes wild.
That struck you. Hard. Playing the hero? Did he think you did what you did for some kind of praise? That you weren't a kind person but just some attention seeking girl wanting a bit of fame? He always praised you for how smart you are but now you were stupid for saving a life? Where the hell did he get off thinking that?! Tears full of anger and pain started filling your eyes.
His words seemed to hit him when he saw the tears gather in your eyes, the look of pure hatred on your face made him sick. "Wait-" but before he could finish Anne came hobbling in, she took out the rest of the inferi with one amazing and powerful fire spell before falling to her knees. Sebastian could only stand numbly as he watched you conjure up stretchers for Anne and Solomon. You got them situated before rushing out, floating the two of them alongside you.
He had done it again, and even worse this time. He allowed his anger to overpower his rational thoughts and he hurt you again. He didn't really think that of you, Soloman might have tried to get you sent to Azkaban but he wouldn't kill you. Another hit. He almost killed his Uncle. You stopped him from murder, and in return he insulted and screamed at you. Merlin, what has he done? He had to make it up to you. He had to apologize, but he had done that before, no he needed to really change. He had to do something big that would prove that he was done with dark magic, and that he never wanted to get this close to being a murderer again.
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It had been weeks, you were avoiding him like the plague. You wouldn't even look at him. He didn't know how you would disappear so quickly or where you might be even going to. Ominis wouldn't tell him either, but Sebastian didn't know if that was to help you or out from really not knowing himself.
It seems that you told Ominis and Anne about the fight that broke out with Solomon. But you left out Sebastian's attempt at murder and skipped straight to you sending Solomon hurdling into the wall out of fear. Solomon seems to have forgotten about the whole incident and was told by Anne and Ominis that he was hit by a stray depulso on accident and hit his head on the side of his home causing a bad concussion. Sebastian sent a letter to Anne swearing that he would never delve into the dark arts again and that he would prove it. He just wasn't sure how. But the answer came to him through Ominis, bless him.
"Don't tell me you're reading that book again." The look of anger and disgust on Ominis' face was evident without Sebastian even looking up.
"I've never read this book before mate. What book are you talking about?" He was genuinely confused. He was looking at potion ingredients and writing down ones that might mix well together to cure Anne's different symptoms, he just needed the one thing to tie them together according to Golpalott's third law to making an antidote. Something new, something no one had tried.
"Don't play dumb Sebastian, the book of dark arts you've been obsessing over!" Ominis had walked over and ripped the book out of Sebastian's hands. But a brief pass over the page with his wand had his eyebrows raised. As if he didn't believe it, he closed the book while using his finger to keep track of the page and waved the wand over the front. "This is...just a regular potions book."
"Yes, I told you I was done with that other book. Look!" He swung himself out of bed and walked around to the foot of his bed. He knelt down and opened his truck before digging straight to the bottom before wrestling the damned thing out from it's hiding place. "I've had it at the bottom of my trunk. I haven't touched it since! I don't want to even look at it." It was true, ever since that day he didn't want to even think of that book. But he didn't know what to do with it so he just buried it in the trunk, hoping to find a permanent place later.
"If you don't want it, then why keep it then? Why not just rid the world of that accursed thing and burn it to ashes?" Ominis sneered at him. He was frustrated, he couldn't believe Sebastian didn't want the book. Not after everything. So if it was true, why was it allowed to continue to exist?
Sebastian blinked several times. Why *did* he not just burn it? Why hadn't he even thought of that? He wouldn't have to find a hiding place. He wouldn't have to worry about it being found. No one could ever be tempted by it like he had been. When he told Anne he had given up the dark arts she was so excited he doesn't think she even thought about destroying it. But now he had the perfect plan on how to prove to you and Ominis that he was no longer going to practice the dark arts! But he needed a bit of help, " Ominis, you're brilliant! I need your help!"
Ominis have him an amused look. "With setting something on fire? I'm sure your well practi-"
"Not with setting it on fire you prat! I need you to get her to meet me in the undercroft. All three of us together." The hope that was reignited in Sebastian fizzled a bit at the small frown that graced his friend's lips.
Of course Ominis knew who he was talking about, getting you to even look at him had become Sebastian's new obsession. Anytime Ominis spent more than 5 minutes with you, Sebastian was on him. Asking how you were, if you said anything about him, if you had forgiven him. It drove Ominis crazy. Yes, he wishes you two could be friends again. Yes, he wanted things to return to normal. But he stood firm on not rushing or pressuring you into forgiving Sebastian. You wouldn't even talk about him anymore, not since the night Ominis found you in the Room of Requirements crying your eyes out. It was then you had admitted to Ominis what really happened, and you had begged him to promise to never mention it to Sebastian, for him to please act like everything was normal. He held you for hours as you had talked through everything and continued to hold you until you had calmed down. He agreed to the promise and was true to his word. But that's when Ominis noticed how quiet Sebastian had become. How now it wasn't Sebastian staying up and Ominis finding him after having a nightmare. Instead it seemed like Sebastian was having them too.
"I don't think she would agree to that, and I will not lie to get her to meet you." His frown deepened, as he ruled out that idea before Sebastian could even pose it.
"You don't have to! Just tell her I have something very important to show you both, and that it will be a good thing. That I want to make amends and show you both how sincere I am about giving up the dark arts...please Ominis." Still on one knee, he pleaded with his best friend. His voice had become a whisper on the word please, in an almost heartbreaking way.
Ominis sighed, knowing it was no good arguing; and praying to Merlin that Sebastian was being honest. All he had to do was ask. Hopefully you wouldn't be angry at him for that if he didn't push you. "Fine. I will ask her. But I don't want you bothering me again if she says no." His tone let Sebastian know that his word was final, he would not waver on this choice.
Sebastian jumped to his feet and pulled Ominis into a hug. "Thank you Ominis! I won't let you down!" Sebastian threw the book into his bag and took off to the undercroft. Ominis sighed again. He guessed that means he had better go find you now.
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Sebastian paced back and forth, opening his pocket watch every once in a while. His nerves only worsened as the minutes passed. What if Ominis couldn't convince you? What would he do then? Could he maybe surprise you when you're alone and burn it then? He was sure you'd tell Ominis you saw him do it. Maybe that would work. But he'd rather do it now and be able to express how sorry he was. His thoughts were cut off at the sound of the gates to the undercroft creaked open. His eyes flickered to the book, it was carelessly tossed on the floor a few feet away so when he burned it he wouldn't get burned as well
His eyes went back to the door way leading to the gate and they landed on you. Merlin you were so pretty to him, even with the prominent frown on your face he couldn't help but stare. How could he have been so stupid to have hurt someone who was so beautiful inside and out. How could he betray someone who did so much to help him? Remembering your smile he wondered how did it not pull him out of that book and steal all his attention.
You turned to him and your eyes finally met his. It had been so long he forgot how intense your gaze could be. His heart fluttered in both fear and attraction. You didn't even say anything, you just raised your eyebrows in a way that asked "well? Why am I here?" He gulped, he was ready to get rid of the book. But now he just had to hope this would be enough. He turned his head, raising his wand, and with a quick flick of his wrist and a shout of "confringo" the book was ablaze. It took only a few seconds for it to be fully turned to ash with how strong he cast the spell. Turning to you he gave a lopsided smile.
"I'm done with the dark arts. I've been researching normal ways to create new potions that might help Anne. Ones that haven't been thought of before! Ominis can tell you, he found me reading the book!" His smile faltered as you continued to glare him down. You turned your head to the blonde and leaned gently against him. Ominis nodded mutely. That stung. You both didn't even need to say anything to communicate.
You turned back to him, your lip curling with anger. "Wonderful. But do you really think that solves everything?" He started to apologize but you pressed on, raising your voice over his. "Do you think that changes or makes me feel better about all you put me through? What you put US through?!" You had gestured to Ominis when you used the word "us".
"Wait, please let me apolo-" Sebastian tried again. But you quickly cut him off.
"NO! YOU don't GET to apologize. You said horrible things at me. You did horrible things, even when we begged you to stop. You were horrible to me! To US! I was just a tool for you to get what you want! You were never my friend! I cared so much about you and I care about Anne. But I am a human too! I deserve kindness too!" Your voice raised loud enough to fill the undercroft, tears were streaming down your face.
He felt sick all over again. Of course this wasn't enough, he had done more than just read the book. He had put you two through so much. He just never realized how much it affected you until now. It never really dawned on him how much he asked of you, how little you asked of him. His eyes started to burn with tears as he sank to his knees. That put a dead stop to your rant, your face changed to shock and confusion. Turning his head down he began to beg. "Please. I'm so," his voice cracked, "sorry. I never meant for anyone to be hurt. I-I didn't mean to make you feel this way. I never knew it affected you so much. I just wanted to save Anne. I just wanted to put my life back together. I was horrible to you both because anytime either of you argued against my ideas... All I saw was Solomon telling me that nothing would work and to give up. That wasn't fair to you both. I can't apologize enough, I will spend my whole life trying to make it up to you, and to prove I've changed...even if you don't give me the chance to show you. You two are so important to me and I can't believe I let some book lead me to harm you two in the ways I have."
The silence was deafening. It seemed too quiet after all your yelling. It pressed in on him, but he never raised his head. Even if he could see through all the tears falling from his eyes, he wouldn't be able to look you in the eyes right now.
"I-" you cut yourself off. Should he dare to hope you'd give him a chance? Maybe even forgive him? Now instead of the crushing silence he heard the blood rushing in his ears, his heart pounding like it was going to jump out and present itself to you. His breath hitched, he was praying to anyone, anything that you would give him just one more chance. Anything, anything at all for him to possibly have you back in his life.
"I just don't know right now." Were the words you finally landed on. Merlin help him.
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oceansprompts · 4 months
Text
marvel's midnight suns | misc quotes 1
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I will not be howling at the moon any time soon.
Have to say, for a haunted Transian Castle raised on the cursed grounds of Old Salem it's pretty cozy.
I really should up my homeowner's insurance.
You smell... wrong.
You know what they say. All work and no play... is how we ended up with Ultron.
We invented stealth.
I don't actually care, but they need to stop moping. So. Can they play with your dog?
Admit what? That I feel a sense of admiration and respect for a fellow teammate?
Yeah, I didn't figure someone so great and powerful would be into a book club.
You're hung up on the were-roosters... Alright, let's hear what you got.
Is this visit business or pleasure?
How’s your mental health? A good portion of this “darkness hunting” game is mental health and processing intense situations.
But, hell on Earth isn’t a garden stroll.
I’ve spent decades experimenting and putting it together. Any of ’em interest you?
I’m telling you. I don’t know what’s coming next, but I do know when the shit hits the fan with Chthon...
You’re acting like I did it for fun...
Comfortable? I’ll never be comfortable around that monster. . .
You’re turning out to be one of my favorite people. . .
Why do you think? They take vicious killers and present them as tragic and misunderstood.
It’s just... Off, somehow. I swear, the moonlight on a clear evening is too dim for this time of year...
Was your first thought about killing me?
What I’m asking is, if I lost control, would you stop me?
Let’s talk about how your mother just turned one of my best friends against us.
These people look to me for guidance, but it feels like I’m stumbling around in the dark.
Just the fact that you are willing to learn means you’re on the right track.
So how do I tell him I’m totally cool with being best pals without scaring him off...
It wouldn’t take many guards to secure the building. So the question is: What else are they doing in there?
It’s not big enough to swim laps. Its only real purpose is for lounging and soaking up the sun.
It figures she’d send you. Did she tell you I want nothing to do with it? Because I still don’t.
Every time I think I’ve got my mind wrapped around this conflict, I get thrown a curveball.
But right now? I want to let you know how proud I am to be serving alongside you and watching your leadership.
Maybe this is what we’re supposed to be doing, fighting an endless war.
What do you make of our chances to get out of this mess in one piece?
That’s an easy question with a complex answer. Tell me this–what type of leader would you follow?
I always did what I thought was right. No more, no less.
Well, not so much fish as that ginormous, invulnerable sewer monster that swallowed the Sanctum.
I’m told I can be rather persuasive when I need to be.
It’s all just starting to blur into one big giant green gamma mess…
I’m having it right now and-wait. I think… oh no. Did I feed my cat before I left?
Would you have been able to take the shot? Because I don’t think I could’ve.
I’m going to be up all night trying to make sense of it, see if it helps us find our way back into the Sanctum.
But the more I see him in action, the more I think he might be an okay dude.
I’m telling you if I have to spend one more hour scanning digital maps…
All you have to do is be ready to fight for what you care about when the time comes.
Yeah, I know. Nasty artifacts like that aren’t known for their safety features…
I have to admit, I don’t think you’d be such a formidable poker player. Yet another reason to respect you.
This is the life, licking it with the legendary Hero, and kicking said legendary Hero’s ass at a fighting game.
Believe it or not, I don’t have a lot peeps I can call friends, not close ones at least.
I feel like you get how just how heavy all that extra baggage…
Sadly, the sense of wonder eventually wears off like most things.
… Sorry if I’m ruining any romantic notions of space travel.
I’m not just my powers. Sometimes I like to take it slow…
I’ve tried blindfolds, facing away from the board, and one-finger throws. Perfect score, every time.
The forbidden nap, if you will. Mercenary work is a grab bag of awful stuff…
Because looking at it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
I can play nice all day when we’re out there kicking bad guy booty…
Uh, haven’t you listened to anything I’ve said? Money!
I forgot. You aren’t as self-aware as I am…
Well, your friends have been avoiding me like the plague…
He waved goodbye and peaced out to live a life of solitude…
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clanwarrior-tumbly · 10 months
Note
Hey, It’s me, and here’s the request I made but with a bit more info.
ya know that crackfic where Lost Silver!Gold get flung into the ceiling by the reader? Well, I wanna see more of this reader and what their personality is like and how they’d interact with the other Poképasta trainers. I’d like think that the reader would be a bit crackhead-ish.
I’d also imagine that the reader mostly uses fighting types and knows and is friends with the mainline FNF cast.
their ace Pokémon would be an Annihilape that would be like “yep, same s**t as always” whenever the reader is up to their crazy shenanigans.
Oh I'm glad you liked that one! I imagine that in the pokeworld, these "creepypastas" existed as mere ghost stories (yes even the haunted bootleg/old pkmn games exist in this universe) but Reader finds out the people in them are real.
Soooo enjoy some crack hcs!
........
Steven
One day you approached Steven while he was waiting in the tower for the next poor soul to challenge him, demanding a fight while pointing to Miki.
You had plenty of guts, and zero fear.
"You, Legendary Pokémon Champion Steven, will fight me and Annihilape right now."
"....who are you?"
"Fight us."
"Wait, aren't you the one who threw Gold onto the ceiling-?"
"YOU'LL BE NEXT IF YOU DON'T FIGHT US!!!!"
That threat's enough to make him finally start the battle, but while you and your Pokémon gave it your all...Steven eventually won and was about to send your soul to the depths below as the loser's punishment-
But your Annihilape suddenly bounced back to life and you commanded it to use Seismic Toss on Miki.
"That's not going to work." He taunted. "She's untouchable-"
Somehow they could use the move on her, sending her crashing on top of Steven and instantly knocking both of them out.
You smiled proudly and fistbumped Annihilape, before you both got the hell out of that creepy tower.
Somewhere in the afterlife, Mike's laughing his ass off.
Glitchy Red
You somehow got into his game, meeting him in Glitch City just because you wanted to see him face-to-face. Steven told you he was a nice guy so you figured you'll pay him a visit.
"Yo, are you the infamous Glitchy Red?"
"...Red is fine. And how the hell did you get in here? And why does your Primeape look like that?"
"No time for that. Can we have your autograph?"
"Wait...if you were able to get in here, that means you can get out, too." He suddenly realizes, grinning sinisterly. "You can help me get out, right?"
"Nuh-uh."
"....fuck do you mean, "nuh-uh"?!"
"Not without an autograph first."
At this point he's 101% fed-up and tries to attack you, but you tell Annihilape to use Seismic Toss on him.
You watch him fly up to the "sky" before he just glitches into whatever invisible barrier's up there.
He doesn't come back, so you two just leave.
Your ghost/fighting type just shakes their head as you huff about never getting that autograph you wanted.
"Hilape, ape."
"Wdym I "overreacted"??"
Grey (+ Shinto)
You were just sparring with your fighting type team during one sunny afternoon....when you heard a boy's screaming off in the distance, slowly growing closer and closer.
Then you see him running towards you, looking back at whatever was chasing him and ignoring the fact he would've crashed right into you--
If not for your Hitmonlee sticking out their leg to trip him, sending him faceplanting into the dirt.
Immediately you recognized him as the guy from that bootleg Pokémon game everybody's been talking about and helped him up.
"What the hell are you running from, Grey? Is Shinto up to her usual shit?"
"Y-Yeah! She's....wait, how do you know who I am??" He stares at you, petrified.
"Who doesn't?" You rolled your eyes. "You're famous, kid."
Grey would've been more flattered if not for Shitno scurrying over to you on all fours.
He screamed again and hid behind your back, blubbering about not knowing why she was angry this time.
However, Annihilape already knows the drill by now---and Seismic Tosses her as far away as possible.
Grey's in disbelief.
"Thanks, but..i-isn't Seismic Toss supposed to throw your opponent towards the ground???"
"Well, we're not in a battle so Annihilape can do whatever the hell they want." You shrugged with a smile.
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deathsbestgirl · 9 months
Note
wanna hear all you have to say about fire / phoebe <3
oh mikaela, i hope you're prepared <3 (some of this is more well thought out than other parts, tbh the longer i watched the harder it got to put my thoughts into words because phoebe is truly maddening — like you said about scully, phoebe is bad enough for me. i didn't need them to go as far as they did with diana. i get it !!!)
phoebe’s first scene hits pretty hard. because just before she enters, mulder & scully were talking about court, scully was teasing him “must be an x file” and his face is just SO CUTE because as much as they tease each other, i just don't think he's used to it yet. and scully always does it so affectionately (no other motive than she likes him & teasing him is fun)
and it's just. he's so sure he locked the car. he doesn't understand how scully was able to open it and then scully sees the tape. before we even meet her, we see how she invaded his space. breaking into his car to play a cruel “joke” to ask for his help (that's just not how you ask for help, these are adults, they're professionals — i'm so mad about it). phoebe opens the door right on time, so she's also nearby watching so she can get the timing right. it's creepy & calculated. like scully was scared, the way she gasps & jumps. cruel.
i really don't know how to put this into words but “aren’t you going to thank me? …[for] saving your life” haunts me. she does this terrible thing she knows would frighten him (and anyone else he's with...) and then tries to make it look like a favor to him. like he's lucky to have learned this lesson, that she's waltzing back into his life — with a puzzle, people for him to help, a case that we’ll learn soon is all about one of his biggest fears.
and then he talks about her driving a stake through him and she sees that as the perfect opportunity to kiss him (i am not a fan of kissing someone to shut them up, no matter the context. let them speak bitch). waits for scully to exit the car, so she can witness phoebe stake her claim on him. a kiss he doesn't return, but doesn't exactly reject either. after, he tries to move forward, introducing the two women. phoebe immediately tries to set scully against them, against her. “she hates me.” it's an attempt to isolate him and make him more vulnerable to her tactics.
what really hurts is the way it kind of works. he lets scully stick around for learning all about the case, talks to her about phoebe a little, and then tries to protect her — when she isn't the one who needs protecting. but he knows phoebe's games. she will try to drive a wedge between them. she's already started with “she hates me” — it's belittling scully. creating a fake scenario of scully vs her. she's dismissive, acts like she forgets scully is there listening to everything she says. (the way scully always observes him, follows his lead — it's special, and it helps her figure out how to navigate the situations they find themselves in. this is no exception.) phoebe tries so hard to make it just her & mulder, and he falls right into that trap.
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there's just something so distasteful about bringing up a private joke in the company of others who aren't in on it. again, staking her claim and another way to push mulder & scully apart, to isolate mulder, cut off his relationships & resources so they can go back to where they left off.
scully sees so much. she was obviously put off by their introduction, but had mulder’s response to phoebe been different, more receptive, happy, excited… she may have been able to look past her distaste. the way he becomes practically docile, which is very unlike mulder except in situations with people who have hurt him, taken advantage of him, neglected or abused him… scully understands exactly what's happening. here, she doesn't even say anything yet. she comments on his behavior, but the only thing she actually says about phoebe is he won't be able to get rid of her just by taking the case to their arson guys. they both know he isn't walking away having done nothing for the case, for phoebe. they both know her motives aren't simply the case. (and god, it could have been so easy for phoebe to be genuine. asking mulder for help because she know he can solve the case. respectfully, professionally. it could have been easy enough to swallow that she's a woman in a male dominated field and uses her ‘feminine wiles’ to get what she needs. but it isn't just that at all. phoebe knows the effect she has on mulder and uses it. it's twisted. someone who has grown would not continue to act this way.)
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[i talked about “mulder, you just keep unfolding like a flower” (with welsharcher’s tags) here]
the comparison beatty makes of the case & phoebe:
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this is so sick actually. and scully is observing all of it, keeping herself on the outside.
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something here about scully making sherlock & watson theirs <3
and oh god the rest of this scene!! this is what i mean about mulder “protecting” scully. the way he shares this … is a lot.
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scully asks and mulder answers. one of my favorite things about them. they don't tend to just volunteer information, even to each other, without some kind of prompt. scully gives him the space to talk about it, never says too much but she says enough. her phrasing is SO important. she repeats what he just told her in a way that frames it as wrong and then mulder makes the same comparison beatty did, of phoebe to fire. but in the negative way we're meant to understand.
it's a little maddening that he's so aware. she was brilliant, he got in over his head, her mind games (manipulation, cruelty, forcing him to face things instead of letting him do it in his own time) and it’s a perfect contrast to scully. she’s the opposite of scully in every way. where phoebe is fire, scully is ice. where phoebe is cruel, she's so kind & gentle & supportive. where phoebe is manipulative, scully is supportive — literally so supportive, constantly throwing him a lifeline, making sure he knows he doesn't have to do it alone but (mostly) respecting his choice.
she lets him face is demons, but she’s going to continue working the case. because they're partners, and she can tell they're not going to get very far.
also. everyone should read kae's posts about fire/phoebe. they are the best ones:
fire script
scully is not jealous with kae's tags
scully knows phoebe is Awful
and bonus: i did one of my episode posts lol (genuinely don't remember it oops)
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blackstarmylove · 2 months
Text
Threatened Reader 2 (HC)
Fandom: Blackstar Theater Starless
Pairing: Sotetsu, Qu, Akira, Heath, Menou with fem!Reader
Warning: Death, suicide, mental spiraling/depression, blood, self-harm.
Requested by: Potato
Prompt: I think I've finally recovered enough to ask for another Threatened Reader if you're up for it? Nothing huge cast member wise, maybe Sotetsu, Qu, Akira, Heath, Menou? - P  
Original prompt: A reader ignoring their lover because a random fangirl said so or They will Kill her? The leader gets sad and keep forcing them to talk to them but when she yelled at them for the reason she ignored them she gets a bullet shot on her head?….I just want to know how they would react to that can you do a headcannon?
A/N: I FINALLY finished it, and it only took me ages. 😭 Please take the warning seriously. There is some VERY heavy stuff under the cut. Kids, not meant for your eyes!
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Prologue:
“Why are you ignoring me? Did I do something wrong?” The anxiety and desperation in his voice were evident.
“Just leave me alone!” It pained you to say those words, but you had no choice. You chose to keep your back to him, no wanting to see his distressed expressions.
You wish that you had never met the insane fangirl on that accursed day. Her words kept ringing in your ears over and over. Stay away from him, or else I will kill you.
You would’ve taken her threat with a grain of salt had it not been for the crazed look in her eyes. She meant every word.
While you were busy with your thoughts, you failed to notice your lover behind you. He quickly wrapped his arms tightly around you.
“Don’t do this to me.”
No matter how hard you struggled, you couldn’t get out of his iron grip.  As you continue your attempt to get out of his hold, your eyes rapidly scanned the area. You prayed that she was not around.
“Enough! At least tell me why you’re doing this!?”
The anger in his voice snapped something inside you. “Because I don’t want to die!”
“What?” His grasp around you loosened as he stared in shock.
“One of your fans threatened me! She said to stay away from you if I don’t want to die.” You sighed, “Please, j-just leave-”
Before you could finish your sentence, a loud bang rang through the empty street.
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Your body slammed on the concrete, limp and lifeless. Sotetsu’s hand trembled uncontrollably as he wiped your blood from his face. The smell of iron had filled every inch of his nose. 
His hands grasped at the thin air as if searching for an anchor, as everything around him began to spin. His eyes blurred with tears as his laughter echoed through the area.
Sotetsu’s laugh was tinged with madness and despair - the laugh of a man who knew the universe was once again being sadistic and taking his happiness from him.
He searched high and low for the fangirl, determined to make her pay, slowly and painfully. He toyed with her, playing a deadly game of cat and mouse. A game that had her fearful to even step out of her house, so he forced her out of her home and continued the game until she could no longer take it and ended her life.
He pretended to be normal after that, but there was always a mad glint in his eyes. But everyone in Starless noticed and was worried about him, but Sotetsu refused to let any of them through.
The memories of the moment you died haunted him - always had him on edge, always watching, waiting for something to go wrong.
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Akira's face turned pallid. He backed away, eyes wide with shock, until his back was pressed against a surface. The singer gasped for air, feeling like someone had a tight grip on his throat.
Though he managed to pry his eyes away from your body, the loud thud of your body colliding with the hard ground echoed repeatedly in his ears. Akira pressed his palms against his ears in an attempt to get the sound to stop, but it refused to go away.
Hours, days, and weeks passed, but he couldn't get that sound out of his head.
He started to flirt with every woman who crossed his path, but his heart remained empty. Every girl fell flat. They were just meaningless, nothing more than objects of momentary distraction.
Akira felt lost and empty. Nothing brought him satisfaction, not even singing.
His life turned into a blur of hedonistic pleasures. He slept with multiple women daily, sometimes several at once, at home, in Starless, in random places, at parties, everywhere.
Even then, he couldn't feel anything. Everyone in Starless was concerned, including Kokuyou. At times, Kokuyou slapped Akira to get him to snap out of it, but nothing worked.
It was like Akira was hoping to destroy himself physically and mentally. Then, maybe just then, he would be able to join you...wherever you were.
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His heart froze in his chest. Qu's hand reached out to you, but it was too late. You were already on the ground. His hand remained in the air, trembling violently. Qu's mouth felt like a desert, and he could barely breathe. A crushing pressure pushed down on his chest, and Qu fainted.
He refused to leave his room and stayed curled in a corner. He remained there like a statue, crying nonstop. Neither Team C nor Maica were able to convince him to come out, eat, or care for himself.
His once beautiful, spotless skin was covered in breakouts, his well-groomed hair was growing out of control, and his physique had shivered to skin and bones.
Maica worked with Hari to find the fangirl who was responsible for your death. Maybe if they made her pay, Qu would slowly gather himself, but she was nowhere to be found.
He was a ghost among the living. No amount of doctors, medicines, or therapy helped. Even the medical professionals had given up on him.
It was his fault that you died, so Qu was repenting by tormenting himself in any way he could. His team members and friends watch helplessly as Qu's life painfully withered away.
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As you lay motionless, your expression one of shock and horror, blood oozed through the hole in your skull. Menou stood in place, his eyes cold and devoid of empathy or remorse.
He walked away, going where his feet carried him. He thought about nothing, and his lifeless eyes stared straight ahead. Menou felt like a shell walking through the world without a purpose.
Every time he closed his eyes, he saw your terror-filled expression and could smell the coopery stench of your blood pouring out of the bullet hole. You were there, mocking him, making him remember over and over that he was responsible for your death.
Menou thought that if he found the woman responsible, you would finally leave him alone. So, he hunted her down. He covered her mouth and tore her to pieces, limb by limb, devoid of expression. But that was still not enough. You continued to mock him.
Team P tried to get him to sleep or visit a doctor and suggested anything and everything that could possibly help him, but Menou ignored them all.
Progressively, the image of your limp body was engraved in his vision. No matter where he looked, he saw you. Unable to take it, he dug his nails around his eyes and didn't stop until he clawed his eyes out. The entire time, he laughed, thinking he was mocking you now because he would no longer be able to see you.
His vision grew darker and darker. It eventually turned pitch black, and that was the last memory Menou's mind retrained before it, too, gave into the permanent darkness.
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Heath dropped to his knees, with a look of horror and despair on his face, and cradled your head in his arms. He tried to wipe the blood away from the bullet wound. But why didn't the blood stop?
In a desperate attempt, he collected your blood in his palm and tried to pour it back into your wound. Why was your body getting cold?
"(Y/n), stop acting. It's not funny. Wake up. Wake...up. WAKE UP!"
Those were the last words Heath ever said as the trauma of losing you attacked his voice. He couldn't speak or rap. Even his uncontrollable sobs were muted.
His team members were breaking down with him. Mizuki would scream at him to snap out of it. Rico and Kongou couldn't bear to see Heath's state and developed trauma of their own. Hinata didn't show it but was severely disturbed by everything. Ran hunted down the fangirl and threw her lifeless body in front of Heath, hoping it would help the rapper recover, but the rapper stared at the body expressionless.
All he did was stare into space, not reacting to anything or anyone unless someone said your name.
One day, Heath saw you. His dull eyes sparkled, and his lips curled into a smile. He called out your name and followed you through the hallways, up the stairs, and to the rooftop.
The cast members heard screams outside the restaurant and ran out to see what was happening. And there was Heath in a pool of his own blood, his limbs sprawled in unnatural positions. But there was a smile on pale, cracked lips. He was finally with you.
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archiveikemen · 10 months
Text
Liam Evans Main Story: Epilogue (Blind Love)
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I do not own any of the Ikemen Series content being uploaded on this blog, everything belongs to CYBIRD. Please support them by playing their games and buying stories. Not 100% accurate, expect mistakes.
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this story contains nsfw content. minors please just scroll past and ignore.
Victor: Her Majesty and I both wish for you to continue being our fairytale writer. … Will you accept this offer?
Kate: Yes, of course. I humbly accept your offer.
Even after I had worked as a fairytale writer for a month as promised, I chose to stay and continue my work.
It became a routine to be typing away on my black typewriter at the end of every day.
I wrote records of the bloody punishments done by Crown.
Just in case those records would serve as crucial pieces of evidence, I would always make sure to be as detailed as possible.
I paused halfway through typing a report and read the part I wrote about Liam’s current situation.
– Flashback Start –
(“Still no change in Liam’s sense of taste”...)
— The day Liam and I were making breakfast together.
Liam tilted his head as he held the bottles of salt and sugar in his hands.
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Liam: Hm… sorry, Kate. I still can’t taste anything.
Liam: Can I leave it to you to do the seasoning?
Liam: I’ll do the plating, serving, and cleaning.
I flipped through my report while thinking back to my memories with Liam.
(“Liam has difficulty with sleeping”.)
— Every morning, I would wake up to Liam staring into my face.
Liam: Good morning, Kate. Your bangs are springing up, so cute.
Kate: Good morning, Liam. Were you awake the entire night?
Liam: Hm… kind of. But you don't have to worry about it.
Liam: Seeing your face is enough to make me full of energy.
Liam: Hey, can I get a good morning kiss?
— One night, when it was raining heavily.
I was tagging along with Elbert and Alfons for a mission, but we faced a little trouble due to the rain. And before we knew it, the clock had struck midnight.
(It’s already this late. It’s long past the time I told Liam I would be home.)
The carriage travelled through the forest towards Crown’s castle, Alfons spoke while looking out of the window.
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Alfons: Oh? There’s a soaking wet stray cat sitting at the front door.
Elbert: ... Is that Liam?
Kate: E-Excuse me, please allow me to alight first!
-
Kate: Liam!
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Liam: … Kate.
Liam, sitting at the front steps of the castle without an umbrella, lifted his head.
Liam: Thank goodness… you came home safely…
Kate: W-What are you doing out here without an umbrella?
I touched his hands and they were as cold as ice, he had been sitting outside for hours.
Liam: I did think to wait inside. But as time went by… I became increasingly anxious.
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Liam: I couldn't stop thinking about the possibility of you being injured… or even worse, you never coming back…
Liam: My mind was overflowing with those unpleasant thoughts.
Liam: I’m so, so glad you're safe…
Liam: I… I don’t know what I would've done if anything were to happen to you.
– Flashback End –
With a rustling sound, I closed my report.
(I once heard from somewhere that it’s not easy for people to change.)
Even now when our love is mutual, the things haunting Liam’s heart will never disappear.
It’s the same as how scars don’t easily fade away.
(But I know that there's definitely some changes inside of Liam.)
Liam: Kate, I’m home.
Liam entered my room through the door that was left slightly open, he looked so much like a cat when he did that. I couldn't help but smile at the sight.
Kate: Welcome home, Liam. Good job on your rehearsal today!
(Hm?)
Kate: You look very happy. Something good happened?
Liam: Wow, Kate, you saw through me as expected.
Liam cheerfully came to my side.
Liam: “Wuthering Heights” is going to have a revival performance.
Kate: Wow, a revival? That means it was requested by the audience, right?
Liam: Yup. I’ve been mentioning to Tom about wanting to act as Heathcliff again, I’m so happy.
Kate: Again?
Liam nodded.
Liam: “He’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same”.
Liam: You told me before that you liked this line from the story.
(Oh…)
I told him that back when we didn't know each other very well.
Liam: When I performed the first time, I didn't fully understand what that line meant.
Liam: But I think I understand it a little more now.
Liam: … It’s because I’ve fallen in love with you, Kate.
There was a burning passion in Liam’s eyes.
(The old Liam would never be able to express his love this boldly.)
Although he still feels a little embarrassed to do so, he tries to shake off any feelings of hesitation and expresses his love for me.
Because this kind man knows that it’s what I want.
Kate: I’m looking forward to the performance.
Liam: … Yeah.
We locked eyes, and without another word, our lips met.
We kissed each other, changing angles, and Liam whispered into my ear after our lips parted.
Liam: … I’m getting turned on.
His voice was smooth like thick honey, invoking an indescribable feeling in my stomach.
(The old Liam would never express his own desires like this.)
It made me more than happy to know that I was what he desired.
Too embarrassed to say it to him, I gave his hand a tight squeeze and smiled at him, giving him the green light to gently push me down onto the bed.
Liam took off his jacket and with practised hands, he removed my clothes.
Liam: … You’re beautiful. And so lovely.
He pinched the peaks of my breasts between his fingertips.
I bucked my hips and the moans I had been holding in spilled out of my mouth.
Kate: Ahh…
Liam: They’re getting pointy. … I want more.
Liam licked my pointed nipples with his wet tongue as he gently squeezed them like he was trying to make a show of it.
(... This is so shameful.)
I felt so embarrassed and shameful that I almost couldn't take it any longer, but I was more than just willing to let Liam have what he wanted.
When my nether region was getting very wet, Liam pushed his fingers inside me.
Liam: Haha… you’re so wet. You’re feeling good, huh?
Kate: Nngh, ahh… please don’t say that out loud…
Liam: Let me say it. Because you get all flustered whenever I say something that makes you embarrassed.
Kate: Hnngg, ahh…
After pumping his fingers in and out of me countless times, Liam finally pulled his hand away and spread my legs apart.
Liam: … Please, Kate. Say it.
Liam: Say that you want me…
(I can’t bring myself to say that… but…)
The impatient look in his eyes pushed all my feelings of embarrassment aside.
Kate: … I want you, Liam.
Liam: Mm, of course.
Kate: Ahh—!
He entered me in one hard thrust, making me tightly grab the sheets.
Liam: … Are you okay, Kate?
Kate: Yeah…
Liam: … You’re so cute.
I gripped Liam’s back as he slammed his hips into me relentlessly, like he was greedy for my love.
(The biggest change of all is that he was now right in front of me.)
(And I’m here for him.)
I loved the things that changed, and the ones that remained the same— I loved it all.
From the very bottom of my heart, I cherished every single day I spent with him.
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Liam: …
Liam stopped moving and frowned.
Liam: … Recently, there have been times I feel confused.
Liam: Whenever I’m with you, my heart beats so loudly. … It’s as if every day, I’m turning into a new person.
Liam: When I feel afraid, I look at you and think that…
Liam: As long as my feelings for you remain the same, everything will be alright.
He wanted to say that as long as he kept holding on to one thing that doesn't change, he’ll gradually be able to accept the changes that were happening inside him.
Kate: … Is that so?
Liam: … Yeah. With you by my side, I won’t be afraid of change or what tomorrow will bring me.
There was knowing what our future holds.
But one thing that we could be certain about was that we would be together tomorrow, the day after, and always.
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hvghes · 11 months
Text
i miss you, im sorry ft. quinn hughes
pt 1
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Do you remember happy together? I do, don't you?
there was never a day that passed where the old couple didnt think about each other. about every happy memory. about where it all went wrong. they could’ve still been happy together, in love in Vancouver. but she left. she was heartbroken leading him to become heartbroken.
You said, "forever," in the end I fought it Please be honest, are we better for it?
forever. the word they always used. “i love you. you’re my forever.” “we will be together forever.” it was all a lie. nothing was forever. not since the break up. and especially not since quinn got a new girlfriend. some blonde girl he met at a bar after a game. every dream he had with you went out the door the same moment you walked out.
Thought you'd hate me, but instead you called and said, "I miss you" I caught it
quinn left many voice messages. your heart broke the moment you listened to them. you play them over and over since he moved on. “i know i wasn’t there much but i promise if you come back it’ll be different. you’re my everything. everything hurts without you and im so sorry. im sorry that i didn’t notice. everything got so hard that i wasn’t in the right head space. im sorry..” “i miss you” it came out as a whisper but you still heard it. you cried for hours. you missed him.
But I only saw you once in December I'm still confused
December. possibly the worst month. the month you walked out only for a year later the next December for him to have a new girl. you were back in Vancouver for work and decided to get a few drinks with some old friends. thats when you saw him. the ex love of your life with another girl in his lap. your heart shattered in that moment, before he could see you, you told your friends you weren’t feeling well and left.
You said, "forever," and I almost bought it I miss fighting in your old apartment Breaking dishes when you're disappointed I still love you, I promise
there were small arguments here and there. but everything always ended on good terms. life was perfect with quinn. he was your home and you were his. you were the one thing that brought him comfort and peace. his family loved you. your family loved him. they knew you guys would get married. the love and connection you had was strong. the love never died. even if he had a new girl.
Nothing happened in the way I wanted every corner of this house is haunted and I know you said that we're not talking but I miss you, I'm sorry
every dream, every plan, every hope of a future together fell apart. you tried to piece it back together. you still had some of quinns old stuff that you held during nights where you cried until empty. your new home didn’t feel like one. a place of not belonging, a sad feeling haunting you everywhere you went. you’d do anything to get him back. he’d be there waiting for you because what you didnt know was him and that girl only lasted a month its been 6 months since December. leading to summer.
I don't wanna go, think I'll make it worse Everything I know brings me back to us I don't wanna go, we've been here before everywhere I go leads me back to you
ellen had invited you to the lake house for the summer. she missed you, and she knew her eldest did too. quinns a mommas boy after all. she knew you still loved each other. you were scared to go. you needed to get out because staying in this house started to bring you to a state that would be hard to get out of. you needed to fix things with quinn. you didn’t want to ruin things more than they already were though. with the comfort of ellen telling you everything would be fine you packed your bag and headed off to the lake house. one thing about you and quinn is that no matter what through destiny fate or whatever you always ended up back in each others presence. you and quinn knew each other as kids but he later moved. it was heartbreaking. but somehow in between the time he came back. you attended the same high school together. finally confessing to one another you guys got together. and here you were this time you found your way back to him.
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jasntodds · 8 months
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Petrichor Chapter 9 Teaser - Full Chapter coming 09/13
Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader (little bit of fwb) Teaser Words: 2,262 Chapter Warnings: Swearing, angst, fluff, mentions of death, mentions of canon violence, mentions of canon drug use, canon grave digging?? lol, mentions of violence Summary: ❝Pylades: I’ll take care of you. Orestes: It’s rotten work. Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you.❞ Gotham is home, not just for Jason but for you, too. And now that you’re both finally back home, together, you’re ready to see where this next chapter brings the two of you. He’s your best friend and you’re his. And you both might want a little something more with being back home, the place you both feel most comfortable. Surely, nothing could possibly go wrong now. A/N: I thought I'd have this done on Wednesday and then did not lol then I lost wifi for like 24 hours so couldn't finish editing. I'm so sorry I didn't mean to leave y'all on a cliffhanger lmao You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary  and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭
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“Please, don’t be mad.”
His voice. You would know that voice anywhere and you freeze. Your heart feels like it’s just plummented to streets below you because it can’t be him. It’s your mind playing tricks on you. It has to be because he’s dead. You know for a fact he’s dead. This is some cruel joke he’s playing, somehow.
Maybe you really did piss him off. If he has your phone number and knew you’d meet him here, in uniform, maybe he knows more. Maybe he knows Jason was Robin and you were together. Your social media feeds were consumed with each other. It was obvious. Maybe that’s what this is. Some mind game as payback for going after someone he wanted to kill himself or someone he wanted to recruit for his new crime family. It has to be. Because Jason Todd is dead.
You look over at him slowly, seeing the green eyes that haunt you in your dreams now. There’s the mark near his left eye he’s had since you met. You memorized where the few freckles are and they match on Red Hood. He’s the same height as Jason. His brows are knitted together in the same way Jason always did when he was thinking and pleading with you for something. The only difference is his hair. Jason doesn’t have a white streak. So, it can’t be him. He’s dead.
You move away from him quickly, putting your hand out in front of you as it glows neon green. You gain a scowl as you clench your jaw. Not him.
“Tell me who the fuck you are before I melt your sorry ass!” You yell at him. You don’t care what he’s capable of. If Red Hood wants to play this game, you’ll play right back and you’ll go down swinging. It’s not a joke and it’s just cruel.
Jason faces you, eyeing you carefully. He knew you wouldn’t believe him. You're smart. You're going to make sure he’s real. But it hurts anyway.
“It’s me.” Jason states holding the helmet on his hip. “I swear, alright? It’s me.”
You shake your head as you feel your eyes grow warm and the tip of your nose warm. Your eyes start to water and it’s actually embarrassing. You can’t actually stand here ready to kill him while crying. Whatever his endgame is, he has to be winning because your hand starts to shake and you swear it’s not him.
“No…because I-I…no.” Your words are rugged and breathy. “I found him.” You mutter through gritted teeth. “He’s dead.” You suck in a breath, keeping your stare on him. “You’re. Not. Him.”
You know it can’t be him because that’s not possible. It’s not possible that someone can die and come back to life. Bruce had an autopsy performed even. Even if there was a way, there was an autopsy. How can someone come back from that? You read the report, you saw the pictures. That is real. Can he survive being bludgeoned with a crowbar and then being embalmed? That doesn’t make any fucking sense. And if he were really Jason, why wouldn’t he come to you as soon as he comes back to life? Why would he become Red Hood first? Why would he go to Molly first? You saw him, cold and pale and lifeless with autopsy scars on a slab. This isn’t Jason.
Jason’s heart drops because you never should have been the one to find him. He knew you would. Jason remembers every thought he had before everything went black and he remembers knowing you’d come because you’d always come to find him. But, he was really, really hoping he was wrong and it was anyone else. It just had to be you. Jason doesn’t know what the damage was but he has a pretty good guess it was pretty ugly and mortifying. It wasn’t enough that he literally died, but it had to be you to fucking find him.
And his heart breaks with the look you're giving him because you've always trusted him. But right now, just by the scowl and vibrancy of the green of your hand, he knows you don’t. You have to believe him. You have to.
“I gave you a necklace.” Jason states, looking to your neck that’s covered with the suit. “Infinity symbol, because it’s you and me. There’s a tracking device in it because you have a habit of getting kidnapped.” Jason nods at you once as he manages his signature smirk. “You’re probably still wearing it because you never took it off since the night of the gala.” Jason gestures a hand towards you lazily and you swear the necklace starts burning your neck. “You picked out the hood for your suit. And you were always afraid of heights but grappling around the city has apparently helped you get over it. I have a favorite gargoyle. You and Bruce are the only two who know that.” Jason tries to think of other things only him and you would know. He remembers everything but it has to be specific because just anything is never going to fly with you.
You pause and you think Jason has to be the only one who would know all of that. Anyone would know about the necklace but not the reason or the tracking device. You never even told Molly why he gave it to you. You always said it was just something nice he did. No one would know you picked out your hood besides Bruce and Gar. And the gargoyle thing is so damn odd that no one would even think of that. But he did. But it can’t be him. How can it be him?
“My favorite meal is pot roast which I taught you to make the same day you taught me scrapbooking stuff. My page was about Robin, of course, it was, right?” Jason shakes his head as he scoffs. The name of Robin is almost sour on his lips now. “Pride and Prejudice is my favorite book and I really like West Side Story, it was our second date that you planned.” Jason takes a step forward with a sigh and you keep your footing as your hand lowers just a little. “Krypto is your best friend even though he’s a dog. You like Excellent Gotham which I think you like going to because you suck at making friends but you think Tim is cool.” Jason grins at you as you glare at him in the way you always did when he was saying something just to get under your skin. “Hey, you said that yourself.” Jason chuckles softly, looking to the ground and your face softens just slightly. He always did that. “I dumped a bucket of ice water on you once, back in San Francisco.” Jason lets out this laugh and he can’t see it, but it gets you to smile under your mask. That’s definitely his laugh because it’s booming and it echoes over the roof.
“Asshole.” You mutter as Jason watches the glowing start to fade.
“You ate the rest of my food! On purpose!” He laughs and there’s this light in his eyes as he gives you this teasing grin. The one he always gave you right before you caved.
“I thought it would be funny.” You lower your hand. “And it was.” The venom in your voice is gone.
“Yeah, sure it was.” Jason sucks in a breath.
Your face softens as you take off your mask and Jason sucks in a deep breath. He waits, nearly wanting to jump out of his own skin. He knows you're running every possibility through your head, just to be sure. He has to wait for you to land on this to be real and true. But it’s agonizing and he can’t breathe as he waits. But as he waits, he can see the disbelieve and what he swears was hatred, dissolve from the lines on your face. Your brows knit together as your eyes start to water.
“Jay?” Your voice trembles through the space between you.
Jason nods softly. “Yeah, it’s me.”
You suck in a breath and run the distance between you. You slam into him with a force as your arms wrap around his neck and this time, without hesitation, Jason’s arms wrap around your middle. He holds you as close to him as possible as his eyes close. You smell like his body wash and shampoo and he can’t help but smile. Of course, you do.
It’s unbelievable. You have no idea how it’s possible but it has to be him. No one else would be able to know all of that. You and Jason always kept so much close to your chests when it came to the two of you, you know he didn’t tell anyone. He wouldn’t. It has to be him and you're relieved. You're wrapped in his arms again and it’s like you've been sucked back home in an instant.
It's relief that hits Jason like a freight train. It's firm and hard but comforting. An easy breath of air leaves his lungs and it's as if he hasn't been able to take a full breath since coming back, not until now. Your arms are wrapped around his neck so right he thinks you might strangle him and it feels good. He was so scared you'd punch him and tell him off and leave. He died and a really big part of him, thinks you should do all of those things. But, you don't and Jason is just happy to have you with him, if just for this moment.
Jason pulls down your hood to get you to look at him and the second you do, one of his hands comes up the back of your head and he brings your lips to his. His hand tangles in your hair and he keeps his other wrapped as tightly as he can as if he were to let go for even a second, he'd wake up to relive another nightmare. 
Your mouths move together almost carefully at first before it grows sloppy and almost desperate. You slide your hands into the curls at the nape of his neck and you think nothing, right now matters. You can exist right here on this rooftop just like this with him. If you stay like this, nothing can happen. Nothing bad can happen again if you can just stay like this. You beg and plead with the universe to just freeze time but the universe never seems to listen to your pleas.
"I'm so sorry." Jason mutters against your lips, his breath heaving but he keeps his lips just hovering above yours as if he's terrified to move.
You're the one that pulls away to get a good look at him. "W-what...I--" You shake your head and Jason's heart sinks as he feels your arms loosen around his neck. "You died." You chew the inside of your cheek. "H-how?"
“Lazarus Pit.” Jason states. “I don’t know how it works but I was put in it and came out alive.”
Jason knows he can’t tell you much. If he tells you what’s going on, it’ll complicate things a little. Crane already doesn’t trust you. And Jason knows that. Jason also knows you’ll lose your mind if you find out what he’s doing, the whole story. He knows he can’t tell you. Not until the time is right but you, at the very fucking least, deserve to know he’s alive and how. The Titans will find out eventually anyway and none of them could go back and tell you. You’d never forgive him.
If this were any other city, you would say that were a load of shit. But this is Gotham where the impossible always seems possible in the most fucked up ways. It’s just a normal thing here. Acid creating whatever fuck the Joker was. That same acid turning Harley Quinn into whatever she is now that’s actually nothing like the Joker. Poison Ivy accidentally spilling a chemical and turning into what she is now. Insane scientists that torment the city with magic tricks and fear gas. Maybe Lazuaus Pit makes sense.
“Lazarus Pit.” You nod your head once. “That tracks.” You let out a sigh.
“Yeah.” A forced chuckle leaves Jason’s lips as he drops his hand from your hair and moves it to your waist.
“Who put you in it then?” You ask as your hands find their way to his biceps and there's a trickling of anger starting to drip into your stomach.
You're thrilled and relieved he's alive and he's real. But, you're also smack in the middle of grieving him. Now, he's suddenly alive and it's not like he just walked into the manor one day. He's been out here being Red Hood for days and you're just now finding out about it. The relief of him being alive is still throbbing with your heart but there's an anger that's there, moving in slowly. It's as if your body is so used to being mad at the entire world or absolutely miserable that it doesn't know what to do right now. And you think you might be getting whiplash from the emotions. It’s like you go numb as your body sorts through which emotion it wants to land on like some sick arcade game.
Jason shakes his head, knowing this is about to go south. “I can’t tell you.” Jason answers honestly.
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