#but yes thank you for being part of the almost two years on this blog

[lemonarcade]

‼️ moved blogs

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#hi friends! #i think i'm starting to settle in the new blog #so i'll probably be logging out of this account for good :) #might drop by again... who knows? #but yes thank you for being part of the almost two years on this blog #and maybe i'll see you on the other side!

[moondustpugh]

Is It Over Now?

Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: Fake dating your flatmate, Joe, should be a simple thing. It meant you get to help get his ex back, and it meant you get to stop your parents' nagging about bringing someone home for once. But what happens when fake dating turns into something unexpected? Now, what?

Author's Note: Part 5 is here! This is the last part I left off before I deleted the old blog, so I will be working on part 6 this week! Comments are always welcome! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: 18+, smutty-ish

Wordcount: 4.2K

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five - part six - part seven - part eight - part nine - part ten

The sound of papers shuffling on the table and the low volume of the television behind you was the only sound echoing through the flat as you watched Sara sign all the last few paper works that she needed to do for her and Abby’s adoption. You decided to visit their place and help them out with everything they needed to prepare since Abby was busy at the art gallery. Besides, the last thing you wanted to do was stay in your own place after the night of your mum’s birthday dinner. 

Funny how you were starting to also feel uncomfortable in your own flat. 

“So, when are you going to meet her?” You asked Sara. 

You studied the boxes that were stacking up around their flat. Abby and Sara had gone shopping for all the things they needed to make sure that the little girl they were adopting was going to be all settled and comfortable. When your eyes met Sara’s, you immediately saw her face beaming with excitement as she finished signing the papers in front of her. You knew this had been a long process for them, and they have been waiting for this answer. You couldn’t believe they

were finally almost at the end of it. 

“In a week.” Sara replied. “I’m so excited to meet her. The agency said that she’s only two years old, and her name is Elena.” 

“And she’s from the orphanage that you guys visited before?” You asked. 

“Yeah, poor thing.” Sara sighed. “Her parents passed away in a car accident just last year.”

Your eyes widened, “What happened?” 

“When she finally turned one, her parents decided to go out for a date night because it had been a while and going home, they got into a car accident. Her grandparents are too old to take care of her, and she doesn’t have any other family.” 

“Ohmygod.” You gasped softly, feeling your stomach drop. “But does her grandparents keep in contact?”

Sara nodded her head. “Yes, they would visit her, and we’ve met them. Her grandma is starting to forget a lot of things, and her grandpa could barely walk.” 

“That’s horrible, but I’m happy that she’s going to be in a good family.”

Sara leaned back on her chair, and you saw the hesitation in her eyes. It was almost like sadness and at the same time, a terrified look on her face. 

“What if I’m not going to be a good mother?” Sara asked. 

“Are you kidding?” You chuckled softly. “You’re going to be a great mother, and Abby will too. The both of you are such a good team already.”

That was the difference between you and Sara. She has her life together, and she knew what she wanted. It wasn’t like she didn’t have flaws either, but she was just better at all of this. Better at organizing her life, better at making decisions, and she knew the path she wanted for her life. You, on the other hand, didn’t really know what to do. You woke up everyday and just survived and hoped you would eventually find your way. That you would eventually stop being so terrified with life. 

“Thank you.” Sara smiled. “And thank you for always supporting me and Abby.”

“I’m always here for you.” You smiled, getting up from your chair to grab the both of you a drink. “It’s just the nerves that’s making you overthink about all of this, but I know that you will be an amazing mother.”

You handed her the glass of wine as you took a sip of yours. 

“C’mon. Why don’t we start setting up her room?” You smiled, setting down the glass of wine on the table before lifting up one of the boxes and walked over to Elena’s room. 

You couldn’t believe that during uni, you and Sara would just talk about this and who would have a family first and now, you were helping her set up the bedroom of her first child. It was so surreal. Taking the knife, you sliced through the tape that was on top of the box before opening it. 

“Do me a favor and please don’t spoil her.” Sara mentioned as the two of you read the instructions on how to set the bed up. 

You laughed softly and said, “Yeah, I’m not going to promise that.”

“Don’t give her something that she doesn’t need.” Sara argued. 

“Sara,” You tilted your head, giving her a look. “I’m the cool Aunt in this picture, I’m supposed to be the one who spoils her all the time, and you will get mad at me for doing that, but you’ll just roll your eyes and let me do it anyway.”

“Oh, is that so?” Sara laughed, throwing you one of the plush bunnies that was next to her. 

“Yes, that’s how it works.” You shrugged, “It’s the law.” 

“Yeah, okay.” Sara said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. “They said that she’s really shy, but she’s so sweet once you get to know her.”

You smiled, picking up the screwdriver as you started putting the bed together. “You’re so great with your students, Sara. Now, you’re going to have your own child, and I know that you and Abby will love and take care of her.”

“Yeah, lately, I have been having second thoughts about this and maybe you were right. It’s just nerves. Even Abby tells me that.”

“It is. Even with Abby, I know she will be great. I’m really happy that you two are doing this and have found Elena because I know she deserves the world. You both are entering the next chapter of your lives.” 

“Thank you. We really are, and I couldn’t be more excited and happy about it.” Sara smiled, handing you the screws as the both of you put up the headboard of the bed. “What about you?”

You grunted, getting up from the floor and moved the bed in the corner of the room. “What about me?”

“How are you and Joe?”

You sighed and set your hands on your hips as you looked at the bed that the two of you just put together. Who knew you could do this with patience since you usually were frustrated whenever you put together a furniture. 

Maybe because your patience has been tested lately. 

“It’s the same thing every week.” You shook your head and watched Sara pick up the box with the bedsheets in it. “For some reason, he isn’t even paying attention to Ivy anymore.”

“What?!” Sara gasped, dropping the box on your feet.

“Ow!” 

“Sorry! Sorry…” Sara scrunched her face as she picked up the box that she dropped. “Why are you still fake dating him if he doesn’t want Ivy anymore?”

If only Sara knew how many times you have asked yourself that the past two weeks or so. You honestly didn’t know why, and you have been wanting to ask Joe, but he was never home during the week. You didn’t know what he was doing out there, and you kept telling yourself that he was with Ivy. That he was staying over at her house, but you didn’t even know if that was true too. Then, when the weekends came, you would try and talk to him but there were too many people around the both of you all the time. There was never a good time. 

“I don’t know.” You shrugged. “Honestly, I sort of want this to be over because sometimes, I feel like an idiot sitting there alone at the bar, while he made out with Ivy at the back.”

“He’s doing what?!” Sara’s eyes widened. 

“He hasn’t done it in a while when we go out during the weekends.”

Seriously, why were you even defending him?

“But he’s never home, so I figured he’s over there doing whatever he’s doing with her, and it still makes me feel like shit because even if all of this is fake, I’m still the girlfriend everyone sees.” 

You sighed and pulled up one of the chairs that was in the corner. “I’m still the girlfriend everyone sees and the girl who looks like an idiot, acting like she doesn’t know her boyfriend is basically kissing someone else at the back alley, while she’s sitting inside the pub alone.”

“Don’t you think it’s time to stop this?” Sara crossed her arms on her chest. “I feel like this has gone way too far.” 

Your silence was loud as Sara saw the hesitation in your eyes. Honestly, you weren’t even sure as to why you were hesitating because it was a simple thing, right? You weren’t comfortable about this anymore, so you should stop it. So, what was holding you back? Why were you okay with all of this even if it was making you feel like shit? 

“Unless…” Sara interrupted your thoughts. “There’s another reason why you don’t want this to be over.”

“No,” You shook your head, swallowing the last bit of pride you have left. “I just know that it will be over soon, so I just have to see through the end of it.”

“Okay.” Sara exhaled sharply, knowing she couldn’t convince you to stop this. “Well, maybe while Joe is busy with Ivy, you could try and go out there again? I haven’t seen you try with someone for a long time or even go to the pub and talk to someone.”

“I don’t know…” You shrugged. 

At this point, you were seriously questioning yourself as to why you were even hesitating over this suggestion. You would usually agree and go for it. It wasn’t like going out there was something new in your life. That was what you did before this whole plan happened. You would go to the pub, talk to someone, hook up with them sometimes but no strings attached. 

So, why were you hesitating? Was there a part of you that you sort of didn’t want to do that anymore? That you were over just hooking up with someone? That maybe you wanted to actually have a real relationship?

Maybe. 

If only you weren’t so terrified by the idea of it.

“It doesn’t have to be anything serious. I just want you to go out there and see that there’s so much more than what you’re doing right now with Joe.” Sara added.

“Yeah, I know.” You murmured. “Thanks.”

Sara always knew what to say and even if you didn’t want to hear the truth, you were also glad that she was always there to say it to you with no hesitation. On your way home later that night, you sat in the tube and revisited the suggestion that Sara mentioned earlier. Going to a pub and talking to someone other than Joe was better, right? 

You gazed down at your phone that was sitting on your lap as it buzzed and a message from Joe appeared on the screen. 

Going home soon?

You couldn’t help but contemplate if he was asking you that question because he had plans to go see Ivy again, and he was about to drag you with him again or if it was something else. Staring at the text, you didn’t know if you should reply back or not. You didn’t even know if you wanted to see him tonight. You’ve been seeing him too much lately. Your phone buzzed again after a few minutes and another text from Joe appeared on your screen. 

I’m bored. Wanna hang? A movie and pizza? The usual.

The thought of it made your stomach twist and turn again in a good way, but it also made you want to distance yourself more with Joe. You haven’t done a movie and pizza on a Saturday night in a long time and if you were being honest, you sort of missed it. You missed when you two could just sit on the sofa and act like normal flatmates but now, you didn't even know anymore if you could act normal like before. It made you wish you would stop thinking like this as you scolded yourself internally to stop acting up because all of this was just an act, and it would be over soon. 

You wish it was over now. 

Then, your phone buzzed again and this time, it was a text from Abby. You opened the message and saw a screenshot of a post on Instagram where fans were saying that you and Joe were cute together and wondering who you were. A “mystery” girl was what they called you. You stared at the photo of you and Joe during the Dior event just talking by the bar and laughing. It was one of those moments that night where you felt normal with him. Moments where you felt like you didn’t have to pretend and just be yourself, and he was fine with it. He liked your jokes and laughed at them. It wasn’t even a conversation about Ivy or anything. It was just a normal conversation about the event and getting to know each other. 

Then, the sudden overwhelming feeling that washed over you made you exit the text and went back to Joe’s text message. Staring at it, you couldn’t make up your mind whether you should go home now and spend the rest of the night watching a movie and eating pizza with Joe, while these emotions inside of you slowly killed you, or listen to Sara’s suggestion and finally try to break out of this for once and go out there and meet someone new. 

Sorry. I’ll be home late. 

You sent the text to Joe as soon as you exited the tube. There was no way you were going home now and going back to Sara and Abby’s place was no option either. You were already here, and you thought maybe you should take Sara’s advice for once and go out there. Besides, it really has been a while since you went out and met some new people. Who knows, maybe you could kill this feeling that had been circling inside of you.

Walking down the street, you stopped by at one of the pubs that was near your flat and found the place busy. 

Perfect. 

You sat by the bar and ordered yourself a drink, your eyes scanning the room. Unfortunately, everyone seemed to be in their own little conversations. There wasn’t anyone you could just walk up and talk to. Your agenda for tonight was to talk to someone and maybe flirt a little. Even if part of you sort of didn’t want to, you wanted to prove to yourself that you were just too preoccupied with your agreement with Joe that was why you kept having these weird emotions inside of you lately. 

That was it. That was the only reason why. 

However, your little plan wasn’t going too well as you ordered yourself another drink later that night. You were just sitting at the bar alone, and you couldn’t help but sigh and scold yourself for being so pathetic.

Seriously, what were you even doing?

This whole plan was just stupid. 

“Getting your mind off of something?” An unfamiliar voice interrupted your thoughts. 

Just when you thought you were unlucky tonight, a handsome man that was sitting next to you had a small smile tugging on his lips. His piercing blue eyes sparkled as he took a sip of his beer. You were so deep in your thoughts that you didn’t even notice he had sat next to you. 

You tilted your head, a flirty smile appeared on your face. “How’d you know that?”

The man shrugged, “I saw you since you walked in tonight, and you looked like you could use a friend. Unless… you are waiting for someone?”

You chuckled softly. “No, I’m not waiting for anyone. It’s just me.” 

“That’s perfect then. I’m Isaac.” The man held out his hand. 

You smiled, shaking his hand as you introduced yourself to him. Isaac was a nice name and maybe this was the universe telling you that Sara was right. You were in the right direction for taking up her advice for once. 

“So, how come a pretty girl like you is all alone here and looking in such a deep thought.” Isaac asked. 

“Oh.” You let out an awkward laugh. “It’s nothing, really.”

“Are you sure?”

Of course not. 

You let out an awkward laugh. “I’m sure. Just zoning out, I guess.”

You could tell Isaac didn’t believe you, but you didn’t care because he wasn’t the solution to your problem, wasn’t? He was just a band aid.

You had one agenda tonight and that was to go out there again just like Sara had advised you to do. You need to go out there and meet new people and maybe find someone good for you. So, you sat there and listened to Isaac talk about himself. You tried your best to not frown the whole time because as much as you were trying hard to really pay attention, you were just bored. It wasn’t like he was a bad guy or anything because he seemed really nice and a good guy unlike the other men you usually meet at the pubs, but you were just not interested at all. 

So, instead, you flirted. 

You flirted to shut him up, and you couldn’t help but think if any of these people online posting about you were looking at you right now and knew what you have been doing with your life, they’d probably call you a slut. At this point, you didn’t care anymore. You were just living your life and those were just labels people tend to put on other people because they got nothing better to do. 

“Do you want to go outside? It’s sort of getting stuffy here.” You said, trailing your hand up to his arm. 

Isaac wasn’t hard to convince as his eyes stared at your hand on his arm before gazing back up at you and nodding his head. Taking your hand in his, he led you out the pub and towards the side of the building where no one could see the both of you. His lips immediately hungrily crashed onto yours as he kissed you. He pressed you against the wall as you let out a soft gasp, his lips trailing down your neck. Your eyes stared up at the night sky, stars twinkling above you as Isaac pulled you closer against him. His soft lips licked and sucked your neck softly, but your mind was somewhere else. You stared up at the night sky and wished on the stars that your feelings for Joe were going to be over soon. When Isaac’s lips found your jawline and then your lips again, you closed your eyes and kissed him back hungrily. 

“Let’s… Let’s go back to my flat.” You whispered, pulling away from him.

You didn’t need to say any more convincing words because Isaac immediately agreed as he took your hand in his and followed you down the street. Isaac had you close to his side the whole time, and you just hoped that Joe wasn’t awake by the time you arrived at your flat. Not that he wasn’t used to you bringing home a man in your flat but for some reason, you didn’t want him to know this time. 

It felt weird just thinking about going home with Isaac, and Joe seeing the two of you.

Not that you cared about his opinion or what he would feel.

Grabbing your keys from your coat pocket, you inserted it in the keyhole of your doorknob, smiling at Isaac as you unlocked the front door.

“Be quiet. My flatmate might be asleep. I don’t want to disturb him.” You whispered, entering your dark and quiet flat. 

Perfect. You thought.

Maybe Joe got bored without you and decided to go out and see Ivy. The thought of him being with her made your stomach turn again as you dragged Isaac down the hall and right before you could even open your bedroom door, Isaac grabbed you by the hips, turning you around and crashing his lips on yours. 

“Shh…” You giggled softly, reaching for the door and opening it as you grabbed him by his collar and pulled him inside your bedroom.

With his foot, Isaac kicked the door close behind him, gentle enough for it to not slam too hard and made a noise. His fingers started working on the buttons of your shirt as he gently pushed you down on the bed and towered over you. Isaac’s knees dug on the mattress on either side of you as you used your elbows to propped yourself up and watched him unbutton your blouse. Sliding your top off, you slid your hand behind his head, pulling him down for a deep and rough kiss. Isaac’s lips trailed down your jawline as you tugged on the hem of his shirt sliding it off of his broad shoulders. 

“Hmm…” You moaned softly, letting his lips trail down between your breasts. 

For a moment, you stared at your ceiling as Isaac sucked on the skin of your neck softly, letting another small gasp escape from you. You felt him smile through the kiss as he slid your bra off and sucked on your nipple, squeezing your other breast with his other hand. You couldn’t help but moan again, closing your eyes as he kissed you again deeply. 

Your mind was spinning as Isaac started unbuttoning your pants, and you didn’t know if it was the alcohol that was running in your system or that your mind started playing tricks because as soon as you pulled away from the kiss and opened your eyes, the blur image of Joe staring right down at you was the only thing that you could see. It was almost like Isaac’s face had glitched in your brain and Joe’s face was now right there in front of you. His chocolate button eyes staring right into yours, and you felt that jar of butterflies open up in your stomach. 

Suddenly, you sobered up quickly. 

“Um…” You used both of your palms on his bare chest to push Isaac away from you. 

“Yea, sweetheart?” Isaac murmured, trying to kiss you on the lips again, but you had turned your head away from him. 

“Um…  hold on.” You slid yourself off your bed, grabbing your bra and blouse and immediately sliding it back on.

What the fuck was happening with you?

“What’s wrong?” Isaac stared at you with worried eyes. 

“I…” You exhaled a sharp breath, picking up Isaac’s clothes from the floor. “I think you should go.”

“Did I do something wrong?”

The poor man. 

It wasn’t him who was the problem. It was you.

If only he could understand what was going through your head right now, but you needed this to stop because what the fuck was that? What the fuck just happened? You didn’t even got the chance to answer him because you were shoving his clothes in his arms, shoved him out of your room and out the door. Isaac was barely putting on his shirt when you closed the door to his face and immediately slid your back on the door. 

“What the fuck?” You cursed under your breath, burying your face in your hands. 

This has never happened to you before. With anyone… ever.

You didn’t feel anything but frustration and confusion. You didn’t even realize how frustrated you were until your hands had slid off your face and your mascara had stained your palms. Tears were rolling down your cheeks because how could you feel this way? Joe only wanted Ivy and that was the plan in the first place. This whole emotional mess you were feeling wasn’t part of it. You were only playing a part. Acting. Pretending. 

That was it. 

You didn’t have the right to feel alone and insulted over Ivy’s friends’ opinion because you were only pretending. 

They didn’t know the real truth,  

You didn’t have the right to feel this way about Joe because all of this was just acting. All of this was fake. You never had to deal with emotions like these before, and you didn’t know what to do with them. You didn’t know if you were just getting carried away by the show that you and Joe kept putting on almost every weekend or all of this was now real.

At this point, jumping off of something tall would hurt less, honestly.

Wiping the mascara filled tears that were staining your cheeks, you slowly pulled your legs close to your chest, your arms wrapping around them as you laid your head on your knees. Even if you told yourself many times that you were fine, and you could do this, how come it still made you feel so alone? Why did it made you feel like shit? Why did you have to agree with this plan in the first place? You were such an idiot. Now look at you.

A godforsaken mess for someone whose eyes were only for one woman, and that woman wasn’t even you. 

This whole thing needed to be stopped. 

Taglist:

@palomahasenteredthechat @sunvick @eddies-acousticguitar @demonsanddemogorgons @joesquinns @mmunson86 @ghostinthebackofyourhead @corrodedcoffincumslut @figmentofquinn @tlclick73 @browneyes8288 @bylermaxmayfield @ali-r3n @ficsbypix @capricornrisingsstuff @missonlypost @ali-in-w0nderland @amberolivia666 @lalalala-melmosworld @niallersfreckles @nanas-lasagna @emma77645 @indulgence-be-thy-name 

#joseph quinn #joe quinn #joe quinn x reader #joe quinn x you #joseph quinn x fem!reader #joseph quinn x reader #joseph quinn x you #joe quinn x fem!reader #joseph quinn rpf #joe quinn rpf #joseph quinn fanfics #joe quinn fanfics #is it over now? #moondustpugh #part five

[wildemaven]

fall apart, again : chapter two | joel miller

Pairing: Joel Miller x OFC!Genevieve

WC: 2763

Warnings: 18+ Blog; little bit of angst and a little bit of fluff— that’s all I’m saying, reader has a name but is a blank slate with zero description,

A/N: I was eager to get this part written and out as soon as possible. Chapter 3 might take me a minute to get out, just a heads up. Thanks so much to @gnpwdrnwhiskey for being the best and listening to me stress over this 💞

Series Masterlist / Playlist / Inspo Board

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September 22, 2003 - 4 Days until Outbreak

The summer still lingers in Texas, the air dense and muggy. 

Heat shimmering over the hood of your car as you drive, the blasting of cool air is the only saving grace you have for the time being.

“Hey, it’s me. I wanted to talk to you about something when you get here. Umm— Shit! I hate this so much. *sigh* I miss you Eve…A-and I love you so, so fucking much. I guess— I guess I’ll see you in a bit. Drive safe. Bye.”

*BEEP*

“End of messages. You have no new messages.”

A heavy sigh huffs out of your chest, you press the red ‘end call’ button and toss the small phone into your passenger seat. 

His voice still has such an effect on you after all this time, the little flutter it elicited the second it reverberated into the speaker has you almost fighting back tears. 

You blink them away quickly as you reach for the stereo volume, turning it up to a somewhat higher but bearable level, the local station plays through some hit song you haven’t heard before.

The steering wheel is rigid as you readjust your grip, a slight glint of light pulls your gaze briefly from the road ahead, the small gold band that cradles a tiny diamond shines brightly on your left hand. 

Refocusing on the road, your mind wanders to when you had both found the ring, your small income not offering a lot towards something with more extravagance, but you were the opposite of flashy so it was perfect. 

You remember the sight of him immediately dropping to one knee the minute you both stepped out of the small jewelry store, its parking lot the backdrop for the proposal you both had planned together. 

Yes! flew from your mouth instantly as you dropped down into his arms, the celebratory kiss only lasting briefly as the asphalt began to nearly burn through your jeans. 

Meeting the love of your life at 18 and planning your life together at 22 felt right, even despite the apprehension from both of your parents, convinced you were throwing your lives away. 

You wish you could say the last 14 years were nothing short of pure wedded bliss, the last few years were trying as you both worked yourselves to make ends meet, even in your 30’s trying to stay afloat was no easy feat. 

The separation wasn't an easy decision. It broke your heart to even suggest such a thing, but you needed a break from the fighting and the tears, some space to clear your head and let things settle down before reevaluating what was best for both of you. 

The love you had for him was still so strong and you held on to it fiercely, allowing time to heal the small fractures in your heart. You had hoped that your decision for this arrangement you had been living for the last 2 months, wasn't one you would regret in the long run. 

Your friends assured you it was just a rough patch, something all couples dealt with at some point in their lives, trying to alleviate any hesitancy you were having that this was the end for your relationship. You knew you didn’t want an end, you had looked into options to work on things, hoping he would be on board and this would be a start to a new beginning. 

“You know, he cries too. And he thinks I can’t tell, but I do.” A voice drifts from the back seat. 

You hadn’t even realized you were crying, hoping the music muffled your sniffling as you promptly wiped your face, knowing she can tell with you too. 

You catch her reflection in the rear view mirror, her gaze focused out the window, there's a soft but somber look on her face— you hate that you’re the cause of any sadness she is hiding from you. 

Shifting your eyes back to the road as you turn into a quiet neighborhood. The small street is lined with modest homes and memories of block party cookouts on holiday weekends, kids running the sidewalks as their popsicles melt down their small hands and families bringing home newest editions to continue adding new memories. 

The two story red brick with white trim house is nestled further down the cul de sac, it was the perfect starter home for two young adults who threw their savings and a hefty bank loan into it. 

Guilt builds in your chest the closer you get, knowing it’s a quick visit before you leave, it hasn't gotten easier and each time only adding to the pain you feel of not pulling in that driveway permanently. 

“He’s going to be bummed you won’t be here this weekend, I can already see his grumpy face.”

Parking the car along the curb in front of the house and killing the engine, you turn to look to the back seat. 

“Please don’t say anything, just let me tell him okay?” You can already see his furrowed brow line and puppy dog eyes, for as handsome as he is, he wears his grumpiness well. 

“Are you going to tell him you’re moving back home too?” 

“What? How did you—“

“I heard you talking to grandma this morning, you both aren’t the quietest people, even when you think you’re being quiet. Just tell him, please. I don’t think he can take it much longer.” 

“Yes, I’ll tell him.”

“Promise?”

“I promise— Gosh, since when did the roles reverse here? I swear, you were just 5 begging for your training wheels to come off. What the heck happened?”

“I turned 14 and wondered when my parents were going to come to their senses.” 

“Alright, get your stuff baby girl. Don’t forget your school books too.” 

“Got it!” Grabbing her overnight bag and backpack, books tucked under her arm as she exits the car. 

You grab the small package out of the glove box and take a minute to calm your nerves, the air sticking to your skin the moment you step out of the car. 

“Give me a hug.” Opening your arms to your daughter, grateful that even at 14 she still loves giving her parents hugs. “I’m gonna miss you, but I’ll call you when I get there ok?” Your cheek squished against the side of her head as you squeeze her a little tighter. 

“Did you get the gift?” She looks up at you. 

You hold up the silver box, giving a little shake, its contents knocking about slightly. You both smile at the remembrance of picking it out, the shopping trip to the mall last night week, searching every store for the perfect gift. It took 10 stores, a pretzel and a pit stop to Claire’s before you both settled on it— the perfect style and color to match his rugged look. 

“Do you want to give it to him?” You ask her. 

“No, you can. I’m going to grab something to eat before we leave for school.” 

Another round of hugs, several small kisses to the top of her head and a string of ‘I love yous’ before she leaves you on the sidewalk to head inside. 

The front door opens before she’s even made it up the driveway. 

“Hey Dad!” Throwing herself into his arms. 

Watching their embrace sends a wave of emotion through you, their bond is something you’ve always loved, only getting stronger as she’s gotten older. 

You can’t hear what they're talking about from where you’re standing, hushed giggles and smiles exchanged before she makes her way inside. 

The roar of a pickup truck grabs your attention as it parks in front of the garage, the door slamming shut before you see him round the front of the truck. 

“Eve! You finally comin’ to take my asshole brother back? He keeps mopin’ around like a lost puppy. Makes him a pain in the ass to deal with truthfully— if not for him, do it for me sweetheart!” His hands up in a praying manner, you can’t help but shake your head and laugh at how dramatic he is first thing in the morning. 

“Tommy, shut the fuck up and leave her alone will ya. Go on an’ head inside, I’ll be there in a minute. Sarah’s probably cooking up some eggs or somethin’— make sure she doesn’t burn the house down.” His voice sounds better when he’s standing 2 feet away from you, shouting at his idiot brother who is retreating to the house in search of food that was mentioned. 

“Hey.” The tension leaves his shoulders, dropping the minute he gets a good look at you, his smile on full display. 

It had been a week since you had last seen him, dropping Sarah off at your parents where you’ve been staying for the last 2 months. 

“Hi, Joel.” 

He hesitates for a moment, not sure whether to give you a hug or not, you make the decision for him and lean into his solid body wrapping your arms around him instantly, his brain taking a second to register the gesture before reciprocating earnestly. You breathe in his freshly showered scent— woodsy and warm, like a mountain forest after a raining day. 

The hug lingers on for a while, neither of you speaking a word, savoring the embrace fully before releasing each other. 

“How’s things been? Your parents good?” Hands fidgeting at his side, nerves starting to tick off as he searches for things to ask you. 

“Yeah, things are good— things are going well.” Your voice fluttering, your own nerves making you feel like a middle schooler talking to her crush for the first time between classes. “My parents are good, too— they said to tell you hello.” 

Another beat of silence, not really sure what to say next. 

“Oh— this is for you.” You hand him the box you’ve been gripping tightly since you left the car. “It’s from Sarah and I, she insisted it was something you would like— Happy Birthday, Joel.” 

Joel opens the lid to reveal a watch— a simple black watch face with matte silver casing and a green fabric band. Pulling it from the box he takes a better look at it, holding the weight of it in his large callused hand. 

“Thanks— I love it.” And you know he means it, his genuine smile lights up his face making his beautiful brown eyes shine and crinkle up on the sides. 

“Here, let me help you put it on.” Grabbing the watch from his hand. 

Sliding the watch band around his wrist, his skin is soft against your fingertips as you maneuver the buckle in place— his forearm taut, muscles and tendons flexed and firm from years of working with his hands. His broad frame, all skilled and capable of handling any kind of physical demands, taking on any task with ease— from the way he held the tools that aided in remodeling every issue the house had when you moved in, to the way he gently held your newborn in the early hours of the morning and how he would hold you every night as you slept beside him— his body built for protecting the ones he loves the most. 

You find it hard to let him go, your hands loitering over his hand, wanting nothing more than for him to pull you back against him, and you think he is going to when he grabs your left hand. His focus was first on your wedding ring, he’d spent the last 2 months worried you would remove it— his thumb smoothes over the gold band, then wrapping his hand around tenderly yours. 

His eyes move from where your hands are joined to your face, watching how you’re still looking at the way he’s holding your hand, how you meet his eyes after a brief moment and the world around you is still. 

“I was thinking we could try counseling—“

“I talked to a lawyer—“

You both speak at the same time, Joel’s face instantly morphing from hope to heartbreak at the way you mention talking to a lawyer. 

“Hey, don’t get all worried on me, it was just my mom’s friend from Bunco.” You start to explain, your hand cupping his face. “She’s a retired lawyer I should say— she proposed I start writing down my thoughts in the form of letters, writing the things I've been wanting to say to you or how I’ve been feeling— anyway, she also suggested we try counseling too. Said it can help get things back on track, that it would be good for us.” 

Joel releases the breath he was holding, relief settling into his handsome features. 

“Yeah— I think it would be good for us too. I got the number of someone who specializes in marriage counseling, they were highly recommended.” 

Your heart swells at the effort he’s putting into fighting for you, to fight for your marriage. 

“Okay. Set us up a meeting with them and send me all the details.” 

His hands settle into your hips, yours on his arms, the distance between you slowly closing. 

“Okay. I wanted to ask you, no pressure or anything— Sarah wanted to get a cake on Friday for my birthday, she insists on it actually. Would you want to join us?”

“You know I would love to—” You pause, gathering all your thoughts before letting him know you wouldn’t be able to. 

“Definitely feels like there’s a but coming.” His brows knit together as he waits for the rest of your letdown. 

“I’m heading out of town, today actually. I picked up a few shifts down in Laredo at their hospital— it’s been planned for several weeks now, so I can’t get out of it.” 

You had been working as a traveling nurse for the last 6 months, picking up shifts all over the state and working as much as possible to continue to help with the endless amount of bills. 

“But— I put in for a permanent position at St. David’s. They were looking for a new head of triage, so I applied— and it would keep me closer to home.”

“Home? Like here home?” His head nudged in the direction of the house behind him, hands gripping tighter on your hips at the prospect of you moving back in. 

“Yeah. I was thinking— I should be back early next week after my shifts are through and if it’s okay with you, I can start moving back in on Monday evening?” 

“Eve, you don’t even have to ask. I would love nothin’ more than to have my wife home with me. Should we tell Sarah now or wait ‘til you get back?”

“She already knows— teenagers and the way their hearing only picks up on the things not meant for them. Although, I think she was secretly plotting something.” 

Laughter fills the air between you, his forehead now resting against yours. 

“I love you, Eve. I promise things are going to be different.”

“I love you so much. we’ll get through this together.”

Joel’s hand moves to tilt your chin up slightly, his gaze flitting between your eyes and lips, searching for any sign of rejection from you. 

Your lashes flutter against the top of your cheeks at the sensation of Joel’s lips molding against yours, pulling you flush to him, your hands carding through the curls at the nape of his neck. 

It doesn’t take much for the kiss to deepen, weeks of pent up emotion pouring into every little detail of it. 

“Would you two get a room already?” Sarah shouts from the front door. 

“Yeah, get a fuckin’ room you animals.” Tommy always needing to add his own commentary. 

The kiss over sooner than you would have liked. 

“I should get going, I’ve got a 4 hour drive ahead of me.” 

“Will you— will you call me when you get there? Let me know you made it safe?”

“Sure. I’ll call once I get settled into my hotel room.”

He kisses you one last time before letting you go, watching as you head back to your car. 

Pulling the driver door open you pause, looking to Joel the house then to Sarah, blowing them a kiss and a final wave.

“I’ll see you all next week!” You say before getting into your car and driving back down the street towards the main road, watching their reflection in the mirror get smaller and smaller as they wave you one final goodbye.  

Next

#joel miller x ofc #joel miller x female oc #joel miller x you #fall apart again series #Joel Miller #hbo the last of us #the last of us #tlou #joel miller tlou #pedro pascal #wildemaven writes

[pvachypessa]

Yup, you are reading this right, this is a follow forever in FEBRUARY. But never is too late to show my love and appreciation for you all! I have been roleplaying Peach for almost 7 years now as I am writting this post. She has been always my favorite muse to write and she will always be!

Now, this is my eternal thanks for all the friends that I have made during the years, sure, some have gone and other new have come but I love you all to bits! But this thanks doesn't stay only in this blog as it goes to my other two blogs

@rayheroism and @gorgonacorali

Now as a thank you I want to gift you all a full editable theme everything placed in the menu so those with no knowledge of codding can enjoy to have a fancy theme too! You can get the code right here! and also a PSD that has the sizes for the theme with the box already placed! You can get it here!

♥♥♥♥♥.¸•★.¸•★.¸ Now To the list ¸.★•¸.★•¸.♥♥♥♥♥

@monmuses : Toastie, I adore you dearly! I love how have you grown in photoshop skills, your humor sense and your patience with everything, from a expert level student, to a college one... I FEEL YOUR PAIN. Now out of jokes, one of the besties!

@moralpuppet / @ursadolls / @gladesglo : Sav What can I say to you that you don't know already? all the convos in discord and even in instagram, all the memes, everything. All the plotting, your patience, your trapeze skills. Honey, you are a GODDESS. I admire you and love you, love our friendship of what 8 years now? I just left to know your ID and you mine XD

@nebula-drcams : Star, my dear star. Always trying your best and that is something I aplaud, you laugh at the face of anyone that makes you wrong and that is something I say 'I'm your number 1 fan!' and so yes I AM YOUR NUMBER 1 FAN. KEEP ROCKING HARD

@atvscream : Bats, Your soul is so kind and you are so lovely to talk to! you know I adore your kitty photos! Oh! Giuve him a kiss from my part!

@stcries : Cola, Oh Cola, the patience you have with me and Peach... You have the heaven won already, dear. I love your blog, your writting and everything you do? Like Hello. Teach me, please. Also Adore you MWUAH.

@mariotime : TOMA, DARLING. ME DEAR. MY PRECIOUS. LOVE YOU. Keep being o fabulous as you are! Keep being as great and lovely, never change and remember that for everything you have me on discord 24/7. ALWAYS

@geniusdonkey : Ah, Suri, the lovely Suri. The only other weird speciment that speaks spanish like me XD, Love you, love your graphics and all our threads!

@the-expatriate: NAT, NAT. I LOVEEEEE YOU. YOU ARE GREAT AND SO FUNNY! And So so so Patient With all of us babies that we have 2 brain cells and one is agonizing already!

@mixed-up-multiverse : Gracie, always so lovely, even at sending me memes in private at high hours in the morning! (In my time XD) And honestly? Love it! I laugh and I have dreams with those memes, So my dreams now have no sense and is so fun to try to remember everything that happened in the dream! Adore you

@kingbcwser / @captainseamech : LAPIS. I LOVE YOU. COME AT MY ARMS WITH ALL YOUR MUSES.

@pompedia : POM, I know we don't talk much, But I love you from afar always, so lovely, love you even from afar!

@goatfated / @snowhxart / @snowy-muses : Snowy. One of my oldest friends here alongside Sav. Always so nice with everybody and like always. I will break legs for you Always remember that I love you and that I know how to bury a body if you ever need it! Nah, I'm kidding! Unless....

♥♥♥♥♥.¸•★.¸•★.¸ Honorable mentions ¸.★•¸.★•¸.♥♥♥♥♥

@rubbarband , @spoocys-glade-of-dreams , @wendyfulmother , @cutdeepshiver / @teenagedkraken , @regularshcw / @nightwatchr /@lunaoritur , @whatevcr-us , @cryptofmuses , @pktearsoftazmily , @jonathanjohnnyjones , @timid-plumber , @teamfricndship , @drachliebe / @kiddscove , @olliesmultimuse / @aslyfcx , @peculiarbeauty / @foundtotoro , @stormcried

AND YOU

#♡ ── ;; ᴹᵉᵐᵉ ˡᵒʳᵈ˒ ᵗʰᵉ ᶰᵒᵗ ˢᵒ ᵖʳᶤᶰᶜᵉˢˢ ˡᶤᵏᵉ;; -(OOC) #This also comes from my other two blogs! #for those that you don't know Yes! Hi I'm rayheroism and gorgonacorali mun also XD #follow forever

[carrie-tate]

You know what?

That's what!

That's right, this blog has grown to such a significant level, can you imagine? There are 1000 of you gathered here...

People, what are you doing here xD?

God, this... This is such a significant number, I can even give a speech about everything that I have been through during this time (about two and a half years, by the way!)

And I will!

Let me start by saying that this blog has been through a lot.

Periods like my first requests, when I scored my first hundred. Or for the second time when I was taking requests, when it was a period of creating a bunch of drawings (particularly based on Percy Jackson, btw, lol)

But the times when I get carried away and create characters stand out even more clearly.

For example, to ship them with a canon character

For example, Thea and Cilan, one of the longest-running couples on this blog, and one of the most affectionate. I even drew a comic based on them, and it all ended in one chapter >x'D

Or Chris and MMK, a couple from a completely unpopular fandom like Kaitou Joker, whose dynamic I still find most lively and exciting!

Although some of my characters were not created for romance

For example, Kasumi, my beautiful girl from Mob Psycho 100, who personifies my behavior in college now, which is even funny, because when I created her, I just wanted to be like her.

And yes, obviously, there are many more characters that I showed here, and maybe you remember them. But listing them would take so much time, and I need to move on.

Here I met wonderful people!

And I still communicate with many, and everyone is extremely dear to me! I just want to say thank you to everyone!

@caelums-fate @soft--dragon @sonartf @mochirizu @candyheartedchy @kanene-yaaay-o-retorno @randommusicalfluff @rand0m-s1nner @birbliophile @fluffy-ami @aviafoil @otomiyaa and more more more!

No matter how long we communicate, you are extremely dear to me, and thank you for being here with me! You are wonderful people! And even people I haven’t talked to, but regularly like my work, I recognize your nicknames and avatars and appreciate you too! Thank you!

This blog was created in 2021 by fifteen-year-old me who was drawing at SAI and had absolutely no idea that Tumblr would be a part of her life. Just a hobby.

And I even disappeared for almost a year, and really started working on this blog by the spring of 2022.

I slowly developed, took requests, became bolder, talking about the topic of tickle and sharing my thoughts. And looking at my old posts... I feel both funny and a little ashamed of my inexperience. But I understand that this is part of the way I grew up. And this is good.

So now I'm better than before. A lot happened. I graduated from school and entered college. I cut my hair and started wearing glasses more often. Became more open and less shy. I, one might say, took a couple of useless fandoms under my wing, drawing tickle content on them. I treasure every comment with gratitude that such drawings have finally appeared for this or that fandom (mp100, pjo, Wild Kratts, etc.), I carefully keep in my heart.

I think if the young me of 2021 saw me now, she would be proud... And that's a nice thought, you know?

Just what else I want to say...

I can’t get tired of saying thank you to this place for every memory and emotion that it gave me. Thank you so much for being here with me, you are all just wonderful, bright people, whose support I value in my hectic life!

#talk #1000 followers #very big thankfull post

[dragons-eat-people]

Season's Eatings

Christmas was always one of my favorite holidays, but even more so for my little brother, Everett. He's an absolute Christmas nut, having become obsessed with the holiday. He sings all the songs that the humans do around this time of year with a friend of his, a little French dragon named Wattson. He's a good kid, and the pair are rather inseparable.

Though, this little holiday tale isn't about the two little dragons. Ever heard the saying that "Christmas is about giving"? That's the little moral of this story. After all, the greatest gifts are the ones that wind up on your doorstep.

Our home, whether you'd like to call it Dragonland, or the Alterlands, which is the proper name...but it's separated into sectors. That's how the tribes are separated and such. In our sector, which is called Kulia Forest, we have a...lovely section that I named myself!

Bandit's Run.

The name is more literal than you think. Bandits, thieving humans love to scour own home for ancient treasures. This isn't particularly common during the winter, but...I think you can tell where I'm going with this.

One particular human so far has escaped me. The only exception, he was armed and I had Everett with me at the time, so he's just lucky. Though, you can only imagine the look on my face when an enemy I loathed appeared right on our doorstep...

The season's about giving. Thanks for giving yourself up to me. I pounced forward, latching onto his shoulders with my claws, pinning him down in the snow. He yells, instinctively, struggling against my grip and such. He manages to reach into his pocket, dammit. He still has his gun. My adversary managed to aim at me, clenching his hand around the grip and trigger.

He shoots.

The bullet...misses. What a shame. He curses, right as I wrestle the firearm out of his hands. Here comes the fun part. I smirk voraciously as I open my maw, quick to shove him inside. His screams turn muffled as he enters my mouth, sliding towards the back of my maw, down my throat. My esophagus bloats with his form, sinking down the abyss that was myself. I swallow him in one go, relishing in my prey's frantic kicking and shoving as he travels to my stomach.

My belly expands a bit, and I can already feel the wriggling too. What a treat. I stand smug over my prey, before being caught off guard by a lone voice. One too familiar, but the situation alone is enough to send a chill down my spine. I don't spook easily.

"Sis? Are you alright?" My little brother calls me, walking to the front door to meet me there. I stand up, turning back to see him. His gaze was soft and thoughtless, such an innocent being. I laugh softly, approaching him. "Yes, little one. It's Christmas, you shouldn't be awake this early...did the noise wake you?" I ask, enveloping his little being. I wrap my tail around him, lifting the little dragonet up with ease. Shutting the cold out, the door closes behind us once we're both inside. I navigate the dark room to find our couch, bringing Everett along with me. All the while, my prey is fighting me from within, and I just hope he doesn't notice. We lay down together, almost cuddling.

Everett nestles into my fur without a word. He sighs, closing his eyes. Perhaps he's too disoriented to take in the fact that I've devoured someone, and my belly is a noisy mess. I shake my head. Even if he does know, it doesn't particularly matter. I lean forward, nuzzling him with my snout.

"Merry Christmas."

To all of you as well, thank you so much for all the support here on this blog of mine. I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas and a very safe holiday. I'm looking forward to what I'll have planned in the coming year of 2024 too. I will be announcing the start of new blogs as well, so stay tuned for that announcement, probably within the coming week or the next. Once again, thanks for everything. Your support is what drives me, and I couldn't ask for a better gift for the holidays.~

Unless...some of you are feeling bold and would like to be stocking stuffers? I can dine on wonderous little treats such as yourselves, and maybe a few candy canes too~

#v.ore #soft vore #sfw vore #dragon vore #mistythedragoness #implied fatal #happy holidays #merry christmas #merry christmas 2023

[trennoandgreggo]

If you don't want to read anything about jude and the transfer just skip it, thank you :)

I know no one asked me about it, but I need to get this off my heart. I don't want you to think that I hate him, but you have to understand that I am sad. I love this club so much and it wasn't easy losing on the last matchday and now also losing Jude. One of my favorite players ever. Third captain at only 19, role model, starboy. I was completely happy for every goal, assist, video, pic from him. He loved the club so much. The fans, squad and staff loved him. If you know my blog you know that I have nothing but love left for this boy. For me he was one of the hearts of the club. Yes we knew that that transfer will happen but it's still a hard thing to see it. Yes football is still business. It's a shame that the end of this journey wasn't positive. I hope that I will get the opportunity one day to see him play at the stadium.

I am happy and very proud of him. Real is a big club and a great opportunity for such a young player like him. He is a generational talent with the world on his feet but for me (I know I am probably overthinking) there are some doubts. And just let me explain you why I am feeling a little weird about this whole situation.

First of all the 6 years contract. I don't like the way big clubs trap young players with that. Also the squad situation with seven midfielders, yes two of them are old and probably on their last season. But I am a little scared that he will be benched often or can't play on his "correct" position. He is not a player for the bench and we saw that. Jude is a person that works under pressure and that's also why he choosed going there and improve himself. But I am critical about that, only one bad game, an injury or something and he will get all the hate. Because he was very expensive, high expectations and we know the fans in Spain can be a little shit when it comes to black players. And we all know it won't be easy for his mental health as well. Speaking of injuries. He had problems with his knee for the last two seasons so it will get a problem again if they don't change anything and help him with that, what is sooo sad and I hope it won't affect him or his career that much. Yes it would be better for his knee not playing that much games, but probably not good for his mental health. You know what I mean? It's difficult and of course we don't know madrids plan with him, so we have to wait. Of course he can learn so much from the squad and the manager, that not the point. I am still curious if it isn't too much for a 19, almost 20 year old boy.

In the end of the day I want him to be happy, win trophies and awards. It's a honor for him to play there and wear Zidanes number. Although I would still preferred the 22, because it is his number and will always be. If Jude seemed happy about it and that's what matters. But yes I am still unhappy since the announcement and of course it will hurt to see him play there etc at first and maybe even for a longer time. That's also the reason why I am not really posting any pics of him at the moment. I am still supporting him because he is an amazing player and person. I mean I ordered the special bvb jersey with his name and I will wear it with pride. But I think I need some time. Time to heal from the shock of losing the meisterschaft and jude (probably even more players in the next weeks/months) to be "completely back". It's a mixture of being fucking proud and hurt at the same time.

I am so proud that he was a part of the club and he will always be in our hearts 🖤💛

#i needed to say this #hope you can understand it #jude bellingham

[lexusiswriting]

A love you deserve (Ricky Olson) - Part 2 of ?

Hi guys!

From this part we can finally see Ricky in the story, hope you'll like it :)

Warnings: mentioning drugs and alcohol.

Taggs: @multifandomcrackhead, @nicelittlenightmares, @roll-tide-babe89, @skulliecadaver-blog, @melissa-anderson

(I will tagg everyone who liked the previous parts, to let them know when the next part is posted. If you don't want to be tagged, please let me know.)

Requests: OPEN.

____________________________________________________

Being in a band and having a relationship can be very hard, especially when both of you are traveling all over the world. Seeing each other can become a challenge when your schedules are not matching. Therefore, I am more than happy that after nearly two months I’m going to see my boyfriend, Ben Bruce of Asking Alexandria. We’ve been together for almost 2 years and I’m glad we managed to make it work.

We have just arrived at the Warped Tour, unpacking our bags, while I just realized Ben did not call me back. I don’t know when their bus is going to arrive, the only thing I know is that tomorrow they are going to play before us. I heard Andrew calling me from the front of the bus and I looked again hoping there will be at least a message – nothing yet. Maybe they are packing now or have something important to do. I put my phone in my pocket and made my way to Andrew.

“Yes, what’s happening?”

“I just found out there is a party tonight, before the madness that will start tomorrow.”

“I don’t know if I’m in the mood for a party.”

“Of course you are. Did your amazing boyfriend upset you or what?”

Now I was furious. The guys from the band never liked Ben, especially Xander had a problem with him. The reason being his previous reputation. Before we would even meet each other he was known for sleeping around, drinking and sometimes taking drugs – the rock n’ roll lifestyle. They were not happy when I announced we are together and still teasing me to this day. I really hope someday this will stop and see what a great guy he is.

“Fine, I’ll be there. But I won’t promise I’ll stay that much.”

“That’s my girl.”

I felt my phone vibrating, knowing I got a message – it was Ben.

~Hey babe, can’t talk on the phone right now, we just left. I’m sorry I’ll be late but I’ll see you at the party tonight. Love you!~

While I was trying to not get upset, not being his fault, I received another message. This time was one of my best friends, Chris Cerulli.

~Let’s hang out in our bus, I have someone I want you to meet.~

“I’m going to see Chris, want to join?”

“Sure, have not seen the dude in ages.”

It’s funny that for as long as we’ve been friends, everyone thought we were a thing. Sometimes we will make jokes about it, but we have never seen each other as something more than friends. We met at the Warped Tour a couple of years ago and he was the one to help us around. He took care of me when different guys tried to hit on me, just to get what they want. I see him as my big brother and the one I could trust with my entire being.

Andrew and I were close to their bus, when I saw Chris standing outside at a table. After a couple of seconds, he saw me as well and we started to run to each other. He took me in his arms and gave me a little spin.

“I can’t remember when I saw you last time. I see you are still crushing everyone’s hearts.”

“Oh, shut up. I’ve wanted to say I missed you but I just changed my mind.”

 While the three of us were chatting, I saw the door from the bus open. A guy I’ve never seen before made his way towards us.

“Lexus, remember I said I have someone I want you to meet? This is Ricky, our new bass player.”

“Hi, nice to meet you. I am a fan of your music, the last album is really great.”

“Thank you, Ricky. I hope Chris will learn some manners from you, he really needs those kinds of skills.”

He just smiled at me, maybe did not have the courage yet to make jokes with the guys. Looking at him, I see how well he fits the band.

“Well, Andrew and I have to go, we need to get ready for the party. See you guys tonight?”

“Of course, we can’t miss it.”

“It was nice meeting you Ricky, can’t wait to hear you playing.”

While we made our way to the bus, I saw Andrew having a little smirk on his face.

“What stupid thoughts do you have now?”

“I saw the way you were looking at Ricky. I just know Ben would’ve not been happy if he saw that.”

“I was not looking at him in some way. My only thoughts were that his looks match the band.”

“I’m sure that is all.” , smirking even more, if that is possible.

When we arrived at the bus I went straight to my bed. I just wanted to sleep for a bit, before I will start to get ready for the party.

___________________________________________

I just arrived at the party with the guys and my boyfriend was still nowhere to be seen. My mind made it worse, thinking he will surprise me in some way, that being the reason he did not gave me any sign. Seth and Andrew made their way to get us some drinks, while I was waiting along with Xander.

“You know I don’t like Ben in general, but now I hate him even more seeing how upset you are.”

“I’m fine, don’t worry. Maybe he is busy and I don’t want to be in his way.”

Xander was not happy at all with my answer. I rolled my eyes and got my drink from Seth’s hand and waved them goodbye. Before we got out of the bus they said with who they want to hang out. Even though I consider those persons friends as well, tonight I wanted to stay with Chris, for not seeing him in a long time.

“You just got here and I already see whisky in your hand.”

“I thought you knew me better.”

He started laughing and lead me to where the rest of the guys from MIW were. They were all chatting and suddenly stopped when they saw me. I never had a problem with them and always felt comfortable in their presence.

“Is Ben here too?”

“No. He said he will be but I don’t know more than that.”

He remarked the pain in my voice when I answered so he decided to just nod and close the subject.

“I will go to get a drink too. Stay here, I will be back as fast as I can.”

The rest of the guys were having a separate conversation and I was trying to follow along. Ricky saw me being left a little behind and came to my rescue.

“Don’t worry, I don’t understand what they are talking about either.”

I started laughing a little and he changed the spot to be closer to me, so we can hear each other better with all the loud music that was around.

“Have you been friends with them for a long time, Lexus?”

“Yeah, for a couple of years now. Chris helped me to understand how this tour works.”

“He is a nice guy, so I understand that. I actually met him a couple of months ago and that’s why I am here today.”

“Well, I’m sure he made the right decision about you. Actually, I saw earlier that your set is right after us.”

“Indeed, I hope you will not be there to see how much of a mess I am.”

“I’m sure you are not that bad. You have to hear me playing bass and you’ll change your mind about yourself.”

He smiled at me and took a sip of his drink while maybe thinking of another subject to discuss.

“Maybe it’s not okay to say that, especially when I just met you but I heard Chris said something about you today.”

“About me?”

“Yeah, he is worried about you. More exactly about your relationship.”

“Of course he is. You can ask everyone in here what they think about Ben and you’ll get why he is worried.”

He tried to say something more when his eyes set on something else. When I was about to ask what happened, I heard a familiar voice.

#ricky horror imagine #ricky horror #ricky olson #ricky olson x reader #ricky olson fanfic #miw #motionless in white fanfic #motionless in white #chris motionless #vinny mauro #ryan sitkowski #justin morrow

[chenfordspiral]

43, 44, 45, 48, 49, 50

43. If you take/write prompts: what’s your favorite prompt fic that you’ve written? Mh, probably the two I got that turned into this 4x18 AU. It’s honestly one of my favorites I’ve written, and interestingly enough, when I reread it a while back, it felt so foreign because I could barely remember even writing it. But that was fun because it was like I was reading it from an “outsider” POV, if that makes sense. There's two more that I love, as said here, but for once I made a decision and will stick with it. @escapismqueen could fill a book about me and my indecisiveness, and I hope she's proud of me for choosing only one here.

44. If you take/write prompts: do you prefer dialogue or scenario/narrative prompts? Mh, I don’t think I’ve actually gotten many dialogue ones yet, at least not ones that I can remember right off the bat so I’ll say scenario/narrative prompts. 

45. What’s something you’ve improved on since you started writing fic? Oy, this is tough because it often feels like I haven't improved at all? I do like to think I've broadened my vocabulary (also thanks to reading so many fics), but I'm not sure if that makes it onto the page. Maybe I'm less terrified of hitting that post button now than I was a year ago and trust myself more to pull something off that maybe I would've shied away from before. The better question for me would be "what have you not improved on?" lol

48. What’s the last fic you read? Do you recommend it? I can honestly say that I don’t know the last one I read, it’s been that long. I’ve got about – and no, I’m not joking – 200 AO3 tabs open on my phone with fics I want to read or need to catch up on. Wait! I do know which one! I re-read this one here from Tara because it was the first that came to mind for the chenford fanfic quotes blog. And yes, I absolutely, 100000% recommend it!!! 

49. What are you currently working on? Share a few lines if you’re up for it! Already answered here, but: aside from Little bit of Love, I’m also always (and by that I mean every day) trying to weave my way through an AU that I’ve been working on for… welp, almost a year. Here’s a tiny little sneak peek from what will likely be the first or second chapter. It’s still a long, loooong way from seeing the light of day, though. 

“Geez, Tim. Way to be positive,” Angela sighs. “She won’t like you a whole lot either with that attitude.”  “Great, so case closed. We’re not doing this,” he says and starts to get up from his place opposite of her. “Tim,” she whines and grabs a hold of his arm to keep him from leaving. “Come on. What could it hurt? Just one date. You can see how it goes, and if it’s absolutely horrible and you sit there in silence for two hours, you can go home and call and yell at me for being wrong.”  “Lopez.” “Timothy.” “Stop calling me that.”  “Stop being stubborn.”

Oops, forgot 50 🤦🏼‍♀️ 50. Answer any question of your choice, or talk about anything you want to talk about! All I can say is that I love this amazing community on here. The last few months in particular have been so much fun, and I love engaging with you all here. It genuinely feels like a home and I'm so grateful to get to be a part of it.

Thank youuu 🫶🏻

#asked and answered #ask games #thisnightissparkling089

[astolfofo]

Dazai and chuuya relationship analysis that I apprently wrote in march and was rotting in my drafts ig. Enjoy this i guess. Or not if you don’t like hot takes. I don’t want my blog to get too too dead. 

friendly reminder that this is my own opinion about things, and you’re welcome to disagree, but don’t be an asshole. please. 

Okay. Here’s a (un)commonly written hot take. In my opinion, I don’t ship Chuuya and Dazai. Like honestly. I don’t think they’re in love with each other, and they actually do strongly dislike each other. Not enough to call it hate, but they don’t like each other. But they do have a different realtionship of hate that you could almost call, “friendship”. They’ve worked together, probably lived together, and obviously theres a fundamental respect for each other. But to call it love would be extreme. 

Like, I’m being completely honest with you, if someone emotionally manipulated me to leave my friends, join the mafia, and I was forced to work with them for serveral years where they’d only be an annoying ass shit to me every day and use my skill every damn time to get something done? Man, I’d be fucking pissed. I’d hate them so much too. Also, to set a bomb under my car when they resign? Man. I wouldn’t even succumb to stalkholm syndrome from someone like that. Anyways I digress. Dazai and Chuuya don’t love each other, in my opinion, however, they still hold a weird friendship hateship thing for each other. 

SO. Edit after reading stormbringer because this was sitting in my drafts since march. No, I still don’t think that Chuuya and Dazai love each other, but their realtionship is fucking complicated. It’s not love, but on the surface level it seems that way. and I think that’s where a lot of BSD viewers kinda fall short, because... BSD is not a black and white thing. It goes pretty deep if you want to dig. Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t ship or you should... you do whatever floats your boat. But the point I’m trying to make here, is that Dazai and Chuuya are basically like Asagiri (i think?) said, that they’re part of the same person. But they’re two very conflicting sides of the same person. It kinda goes to say almost, how you can fight and hate yourself, but without the other part of yourself you cannot live. Dazai and Chuuya are weak alone. Chuuya will die without Dazai, and Dazai cannot fight simply with his own ability. However when they work together, anything can be done. 

Yes, indeed, Chuuya and Dazai do hate each other. I will forever stand by that statement. However, Chuuya is only alive thanks to Dazai for saving his life, and Dazai only found the will to live because of Chuuya. Despite this, they hate each other in a way that’s complicated, but I’ll try to explain it because I guess this is a dazai chuuya analysis post now (wow tumblr 2016 animecore ig)

Dazai and Chuuya are a part of each other. Initally, when they first met, they hated each other. However, there’s a lot of trauma in both of them, invidually, but also traumatic things they’ve went through together for two barely adult people. They’re entangled, but they still repel each other no matter what. They dislike each other because of their highly conflicting personalities, different methods of thinking, different approaches to issues, and different levels of sympathy for people. 

No, it’s not an opposites attract case, you can tell how unwilling they are to see each other in that one episode. No amount of masking and acting will change that. But that’s why so many people enjoy the dynamic. Because it’s perfectly made so that it looks like your classic enemies to situationship to lovers where one bullies the other, but it’s really not like that. But it’s only because they hate each other that so many people like it. They’ll fight and “hate” each other, but they’ll also come to each other’s aid when it’s expected.

That’s what makes Dazai and Chuuya so special. They have a really strong bond together, born out of basically, mutral suffering in a sense and a strong dislike for each other. But they’ve become basically, two pieces of one body. One that needs the other, but will continually fight the other. Not because they’re falling in love with each other, no. But because they’re pieces that aren’t destined to fit perfectly together, nor will they ever, similar to an invidual that fights and hates himself all the time, but is whole. Without one side or the other, they will cease to exist. 

#dazai #chuuya #dazai x chuuya #(please don't come at me please. its just my opinion) #bungo stray dogs #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #chuuya nakahara #dazai osamu #bsd

[poupeesdecirque]

Travel Blog Anime Festival - Part 2

I never had thought that the second day was about to be exciting as the first one, therefore I had to split the blog into two.

I had started writing it in the hotel, but this one here is done a few days later on, there was so much going on, but I loved every minute.

29. October - 3rd Uniform revival & on stage the 2nd

Last day of the con, started super early as the daylight savings and my bio rhythm doesn't go hand in hand. But I took the time to note down a few things already which was nice. Also a bit of drawing, didn't came to it the day prior and somehow I was drawing or at least inking something every day in october but not the saturday. Except you count in painting my face :'D

Checked out of the Hotel and went to Kassel. Decided to take my dolls out for some photos and fetch a hot drink, it was a bit warmer but super stormy.

Then I fought the make up and got dressed up for the last day. I had not much planned and aimed to head home around 14-15 as well, there was not much to do.

Walked around the hall several times, went through the park, actually met some people from the day before and talked with them again. Here some more impressions of the vendors and some of the guests/quests they had.

And then finally met another D.Grayman Cosplayer, an Allen! He told me that on Saturday there was at least two Allens and two Lavis,... I didn't meet any of them *sob* (one Allen could have been me though), a shame.

As I walked around I got yelled at that the person loves my costume AND my bag, thank you so much it means a lot to me. Also I got called Moyashi. I was like "huh what?!" but the person actually was a former Kanda cosplayer and couldn't resist. I love interactions like this, pls just go ahead with those.

Then I somehow gathered more and more courage, I ordered a bubble tea at a booth I had to speak english at (speaking english in public is always a bit of a struggle for me, I can do it fine but I am so nervous in regards of my pronunciation that I'm like WOAH FULL ANXIETY HITTING) and got told the tapioca pearls I wanted weren't done. Past-me would have went with the other option they offered but no I returned later on and got what I truly wanted.

Then things got wild. I randomly decided to join "Show your costume"-Contest as I told myself "fuck it now or never" and had no idea what to say. Was I nervous? Yes. But I somehow managed super well and even calmed down other participants.

I went on stage, joked about me not being lost from yesterday and told the audience that everyone who went on this very stage is a hero on their own and that everyone should stop talking themselves down. I got very positive feedback for my little speech and also some more positive for the act I had showed for the main contest. Thank you all. It was a pleasure to meet you all and I feel more connected to the community than I ever was.

The day went on with me challenging myself more. Like I talked to someone who I somehow see on every con but never had any relation to and we had such a nice talk. Then I went and ordered more food while speaking english.

As I was almost done and heading home another Cosplayer (Della Duck) whom entered the contest and was having almost a mental breakdown on stage came across me and I pulled her aside and told her how amazing she was and I could see how much she was sparkling and thriving. Please keep on going, you were amazing, I know how much a character/a costume can mean.

The day came to an end as I needed to get make up down and travel back before it got too dark. I snatched another snacky on my way back and arrived very happy at home.

I can say this weekend was an absolute blast and I am glad I decided to give it a go. Kassel is now connected with positive memories again and I am motivated for next year to challenge myself more again.

And I have to figure out the make up situation, I will change the eyeliner as it smears so much its horrible. It was the first time for me in years wearing make up and getting it off was another can of worms, my eyes suffered several days(!).

#anime festival kassel #convention #travel blog #dgm #cosplay #allen walker #my face

[thesexydevils]

Mine Truly - Part Three

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only.

I do not give permission for my work to be re-posted anywhere even if you give credit. But please re-blog and comment. Thank you!

Pairing: Dark Tony Stark x Desi (Indian) OFC

Summary: Tony Stark’s interest is awakened by a new feisty and strong Intern.

Warnings: dark fic, non con, manipulation, stalking, workplace harassment, misuse of power and money, desi ofc, dark Tony Stark

Part Two

A/N: English is my fourth language, so sorry for any mistakes. My stories are mostly written for adults and have mature topics.

Mishti - Bengali, Indian origin and means Sweet or Sweet person

Mine Truly - Part Three

Mahi’s POV

The rest of the day went by without seeing or hearing again from him. I hurriedly packed my things in my purse and left the small room when my mobile rang. It was Aryan’s call. “Hey Mishti, what’s up?”

I smiled at the nickname he gave me. “Ari, I am fine. Just leaving the Stark building. Why?” “Thank God you haven’t left yet. I will be there in 5 minutes and then we can go for a few drinks.” I thought about cancelling but then changed my mind and said yes.

I walked out of the building and as soon as I was out, I felt someone watching. I turned around but there was nothing. But suddenly someone grabbed me from behind and screamed in my ear. I couldn’t help but I screamed too. My heart almost jumped out of my chest.

In panic I moved my head backwards and hit the person on his nose. “What the fuck Mishti?” I stopped and looked back. “Aryan? What the hell is wrong with you.” He let go of me and moved his head back, holding his nose.

I was trying hard not to laugh. “Mishti, did you break my nose? Am I bleeding? Oh god, I can’t have a broken nose. Please no.” Okay I was laughing my ass off as he was being such a drama queen.

“Oh, nothing happened and no you are not bleeding. Ari, you should have thought twice before trying to scare me. That’s what you get when you try to be mean.” I stuck my tongue out at him and before I knew he picked me up. My hands landed on his shoulders. “Ari let me down. I swear if you let me fall I will…” “Oh come on Mishti, I would never let you fall. Have you seen my biceps?” I playfully slapped his cheek. “Okay mister strong, now let me down. I am hungry, I need food.”

He laughed because he knew food was my life.

No POV

Tony was in his lab, working on a new device, but his mind drifted back to Mahi. The way she spoke and looked at him drove him crazy. She was always so disrespectful like he is a nobody.

He didn’t want to be mean and rough to her, but her attitude always got the worst out of him. Tony wanted to date her like a nice guy and give her beautiful gifts and lavish dinners but every time he only got rejections.

Never before in his life had anyone rejected him, and the first time he let it slide, but she did it again and again.

The rock music was blasting in the lab, and he was working without any shirt only in his black wife beater. He took a big sip of his now cold coffee when one of his Iron man suits sent him some messages.

“Jarvis, get them on the big screen.” “Yes Mr. Stark.” Said the monotone British voice.

Within seconds many pictures popped up on the screen. Some were from the morning and the others were from this evening. Tony tapped on the screen and one of the photos became large. It was the one where a guy picked Mahi up in his arms and she had her hands on his shoulder.

She was smiling so carefree and beautifully at him. It made Tony’s blood boil in jealousy. The coffee mug was smashed against the wall.

He looked at the other pictures and she was mostly smiling or looking shyly at that boy. “Who the fuck is this? Jarvis, do you have any information about this fucker?”

Tony was breathing very hard, trying to control his rage. “Yes sir! He is the same person from Ms. Sharma’s Instagram profile. He is Aryan Khanna, a 25-year-old male. Both grew up together and have been childhood friends since kindergarten. From their social media accounts and the comments on their posts it is believed that they are dating. But neither had confirmed the rumours. Sir there is a video from him on his account where Mr. Khanna was openly declaring his love for Ms. Sharma. The video was made 3 months ago at a friend’s wedding.

Tony hit the table with his fist “Bloody fucker. How dare he look at her. She is mine and I will not let her be anyone else.” Tony watched the video of him proposing to her but somehow, he was a bit glad she didn’t say yes, but she didn’t even say no to him and that irked him more.

He enlarged another photo of them. It was from this evening. Both were having dinner in an Asian restaurant. She looked happy in the pictures. Tony was pissed, he was the one who should be with her right now and should have a wonderful evening. She should be smiling at him. He should be the only man who looked at her that way. “It’s time to learn the hard way love. You will come to me on your own. I am going to make you beg.”

He caressed her picture. “Jarvis, open her family’s file.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Aryan walked in silence with Mahi. They were just a few metres away from her building. Mahi looked at him when she felt his eyes on her. Aryan took her hand in his and caressed her knuckles softly. Her heart was beating faster as he pulled her hand up and kissed the back of her hand.

“Mishti, you know how I feel for you, don’t you? I know you are worried that if it doesn't work out between us, our friendship will be destroyed. But I promise you no matter what your decision is I will always be your best friend, and nothing is ever going to change that.”

Mahi looked away from him. She wanted to tell him yes, but now there was the Stark problem, and she didn’t want Aryan to get into the line of fire. Mahi had a feeling that it would not end well for anyone. 

“Aryan, I ... you are an amazing human being, and any girl would be lucky to have you as a boyfriend and partner in her life. But it scares me to think of what if it doesn't work out. I can’t lose you and...and Sweetu, she looks up to you. You are her big brother, after Papa you are the only one who she really listens to. I don’t want her to lose you if it doesn’t work.”

Unknowing to her a tear rolled down her cheek. Aryan softly wiped the tear away with his thumb. “That is the reason why I love you, you always put your family before anything else. You would do everything in your power to keep your loved ones happy. That's how I know it will work, because we both will make sure that this relationship will turn out perfect.”

Mahi was conflicted about whether to tell him or not to tell him about Tony Stark and his harassments. After thinking about the pros and cons she finally decided to tell him about Stark.

Before Mahi could say anything, the door opened, and her little sister came out running and hugged Aryan tightly. “Aaaarriiii, I missed you so much. You are now too busy to visit us.”

Aryan hugged the girl back, but his eyes were still focused on Mahi. He knew she was going to tell him something important. “Come on in and meet Mom before she leaves for the hospital. Mom will be happy to see you.”

The young girl pulled him inside, but he looked back at Mahi, and she nodded her head at him.

The next day

Mahi was somehow surprised not to see or hear from Tony. She was sure he would be lurking around the corner, but there was no sign of him the whole day.

His absence made her think about his warning, the more she thought about it, the more she was sure he was planning something. 

The way he behaved with her in the past days, showed her that he was not going to leave her alone. She pushed all of his thoughts out of her mind and packed her things and left the room. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

She reached her home without running into Tony. She somehow felt a bit relieved that maybe now Tony will leave her alone and find someone who wants to be with him.

She opened the door and called out for her mother, but there was no reply from her. Even her sister's room was silent. As Mahi locked the front door and walked up to the living room. Before she entered, she could hear someone softly crying.

“Ma what happened? Why are you crying?” Mahi stood in front of her crying mother. Her baby sister was clinging to their mother. She took her mother’s hand in hers. “Tell me what happened?” Her mother pulled the scared girl's arms from her. 

“The hospital reported me, because they found prescription drugs in a large quantity in my locker. They believe I took it from the stock to sell it on the street. The management terminated me without notice and they will report me to the authorities.”

Mahi hugged her weeping mother tightly. “Mom, we will find a way out. Please don’t cry. I will talk to Aryan, maybe he can help us. You have to be strong, we both are with you. We know you would never do anything like that. Sweetu, stay with mom, I will talk to Aryan.”

Mahi hurriedly took her mobile out of the purse and went to her room. It was ringing but he didn’t pick my call. Tears welled up her eyes as she sat down on her bed. 

After a minute or so her mobile rang. “Ari I... I need your help. My mom, she got...”

“She has a drug problem, and the hospital will press charges against her, right love?” She snapped for air like someone had thrown a bucket full of ice water on her. 

“Tony ... Tony what did you do?” That bastard just chuckled at her, like it was just a funny prank. 

“Really, what did I do? No, what you made me do. You forced my hand, because you had to be stubborn and now your family will pay. First your mother, poor her. She will spend a good amount of her life in jail. Then there is your sweet sister, so innocent and young. Hey if you need money, you can always send her to the red-light districts. Your sister will make good money there and with the right pimp, she will ...”

“Shut up, shut up ... just shut the fuck up, you bloody pig. I will kill you.” Mahi hissed in her mobile. Tony only laughed at her outburst.

“I know a very exclusive brothel with many elite customers. She will be in good hands, and this is only the start. Wait till I start with your friends.” “Stop, just stop, please. Tony, don't do this to my family, please I beg you. You're Iron man, you’re supposed to be a hero and a good man.” She held the mobile tighter as she sobbed. 

“Mmmm, yes, I am Iron man and a world known hero and you still disrespected and rejected me, like I am a loser.”

“What do you want?” “YOU. I want you tonight in my bed. If you don’t come, then I have to ...”

“No, I will come.” “Good girl, wear something sexy for me and be here by 9. You already tested my patience and I am done playing nice. If you are late tonight, your mother will be in jail and your sister will vanish without a trace. Am I clear?” Tears were running down her cheeks, her legs wobbled as she tried to suppress her cries with her hand.

 “Say it!” She flinched, it took everything in her not to scream and throw her phone across the room.

“Yes, Tony. Please, just leave my family out of this. I will do anything for them. Just don’t hurt them.”

“Good girl. I can’t wait to have you in my bed. Oh baby, it’s going to be a very special night for us. I am waiting.” 

With that the line went dead.

If you like it, leave comments and reblogs are highly appreciated!!!

#mine truly #dark!tonystark #dark tony stark #dark marvel #desi ofc #indian #harrassment #stalking #dark!fic #tony x ofc #blackmailing

[baby-girl-aaron-dessner]

After that, I was in Pedro Pascal's fandom for a year or almost two years, I don't remember, I think fandoms have a lot of hypocrisy, Pedro's fans pretend to accept everyone, like he accepts everyone, but the history of his life, how old he is, how he was born in another country and being an immigrant in the United States, you understand, why he is so different from other men or people of his generation in having an open mind, but some fans, who are American white or European people don't understand, and they don't accept you, even if you're from the same fandom as them and you're a fan of his, so nowadays, I don't consider myself part of his fandom anymore, especially because I'm a Latina like him, and I'm just an admirer of his work and the person he is.//

Oh anon I feel you.

I was not in the pedro fandom but a different male actor, I am still kind of involved but have been keeping my distance.

I know this is not the point of you ask but I actually felt this in my souls because yes fandoms revolving around male actors are more problematic than female fandoms (hope that makes sense I am not sure how to word it.)

I can’t explain to you how many times I have expressed my opinion on an ongoing matter only to be hated on or bullied.

It was not a safe space for anyone.

Even the “safe space” blogs are toxic.

Let me paint you a picture, they have accused his significant other of racism, culture appropriation, body shaming and even have gone as far as called her a n*zi and tried to prove it. But at the same time they have done all of that (not the n*zi thing but the other things)

They have made fun of her baby shape, her looks, her style and everything under the sun and then turn around and say we don’t approve of the things she has done. And I know the criticism of her is valid but she was a child when a lot of it was done and people can change, this not me defending her behaviour but me giving her the benefit of the doubt due to her age.

This affected me because I kind of look like her and have similar physique. And whenever I called them out I was blamed for defending her. And the hate he got. I mean they bullied him off of social media. I cannot image what it must have felt like to be completely hated on from the people who are supposed to support you.

Which is so different than what I have experienced with the Taylor Swift fandom with unconditional support, no matter what they love on her unconditionally and no matter what.

It’s absolutely ridiculous.

Which is why I love your blog even if we don’t agree you are always nice and open for a conversation. You always tell it’s a safe space and that’s so true 🥰❤️ you are really an amazing person.

@swiftpascal check this out!!!

I’m sorry you’ve gone through this anon but please know that you are not alone. I’m not in any male fandoms but I am in some male dominated fandoms and it sometimes feels like we’re in the trenches out here. Having to explain basic decency and respect to men (and women who have internalised misogyny) in these fandoms is a disenchanting experience.

I hope you find safety and solace in some of our online communities. I also hope that you realise that you are beautiful and perfect just the way you are. We will support you and be here for you whenever you need <3

Also thank you for all of the compliments. You’ve made my week 💜💜💜

#anonymous #taylor swift #pedro pascal #body positivity

[skydigiblogs]

i totally forgot to even mention that i read through all of digimon next, i think bfhjsdbfjhsdbfs

i mean i also didn't mention reading through all of v-tamer but i feel much less negatively about v-tamer than i did about digimon next

i can go into more detail if people want i guess but at the end of the day i think you're gonna need to go into next with more critical thinking pants than v-tamer (which i would argue requires maybe only critical thinking shorts), and that has to do in main part with two very large parts of their plot.

this is gonna be long (but i mean, that's what you come to this blog for lol), and, unfortunately, i have a lot of not-so-fun gripes with digimon next.

characters with disability (and how that disability is portrayed or discussed)

train kid yuu's disability is functionally cured in the digital world, and a large part of his arc has to do with him getting the courage to have heart surgery. i don't think this was handled with the kind of nuance that could have made him more interesting to me, especially with yuu calling himself a "weakling" at one point (internalized ableism is a thing, but i don't think it was written well with yuu).

folks familiar with v-tamer might ask me what i think about rei, and i feel similarly that it's a little weird to have a disabled character lose their disability in the digital world. however, i at least like that rei seemed to acknowledge it beyond mentioning surgery to get rid of it, and multiple times it was mentioned that despite being able to use her legs, she had no feeling at all in them while in the digital world.

neither of these portrayals are particularly good pieces of representation, and signify to me that the authors really didn't know how to fit someone with disabilities into their story without it being for the purpose of angst.

barbamon

barbamon just. is a whole essay i don't want to write at the moment because of how extremely antis*mitic its design is. if you don't know what i mean, look at barbamon's mask. guess what? look at barbamon's concept art, too. that huge nose is a mask in the final design, but the fact that at one point the demon lord of greed was considered to have that be its actual nose is uhhhh.

bandai what can i say but yiiiikes.

digimon next had an uphill battle the entire time almost entirely thanks to picking barbamon as its antagonist. when you use an antis*mitic caricature as your antagonist, it's going to be really hard not to pull on antis*mitic tropes, too! or at least, that's what it really felt like with next, considering barbamon's whole plan is literally some great r*placement theory "kill all non-aligned digimon and control birth itself" bullshit.

while destroying/conquering the digital world is textbook digimon antagonist bullshit (every series has one), the elements and aesthetic of barbamon in next particularly bothered me because they really do not reflect well when paired together.

i'll remind you too that barbamon in next has a notably militaristic army in "the commandments." this also isn't foreign in digimon--- a few years after next, we would see troopmon in bagramon's army, as an example. but like, again, one of these antagonist leader digimon is a caricature.

i am assigning homework for anyone who read(s) next, and that is some literature on antis*mitism and what it looks like in media.

"sky, if you hated next so much, why are you posting about it?"

first off: because it's my blog and i can, lol

second off: because i wanted that sweet sweet yggy lore

as much as i have my issues with digimon next, i think it introduced some very fun tools that could be built upon. yggdrasil, and the fact it just sent its girlsona to the human world because it was worried humans didn't like digimon enough? EXTREMELY funny on paper, yes, but also a fascinating idea!

in next, we see that yggy is able to detach its consciousness from its core, and i think it would be fun to see that explored further. what if, instead of someone external taking control of the core, we see something similar to, say, a split (yes i'm bringing plurality into this). that's to say, yggy mitosises off its girlsona or something, cloning its consciousness to assess the situation beyond its core's reach. yggy core and yggysona, however, are split up because yggysona needs to go collect data. what if there was conflict between yggy core and yggysona because the data retrieved just doesn't make sense with the data yggy core started with?

furthermore, we see some interesting ideas with yggy's kernel, where it's guarded by a magnaangemon (who we see both fall and quite easily reclaim their status as magnaangemon). the implications of this are that yggy can sometimes be the god that angel digimon serve, and that it is possible for fallen angel digimon to become unfallen.

and then next drops NEO on us, calls it "a power beyond yggy" AND REFUSES TO ELABORATE? NO, GET THE FUCK BACK HERE, WHAT DO YOU MEAN GOD IS MADE OUT OF THE COLLECTED MEMORIES OF DIGIMON SPECIES? that's such a cool concept to me (and i am also a sucker for chimera characters, so uhhh), especially read with a metaphorical lens. like. the idea of god being our experiences has endless thematic storytelling potential in a series that is all about its characters Having Emotional Experiences.

anyways uh

digimon next, huh?

#sky talks #digimon #digimon next #digimon v-tamer #(the latter is mostly just mentioned in comparison to next) #fair warning this is really long even for me #i jokingly described digimon next as diet v-tamer to a friend and even after finishing i still think it isn't wholly inaccurate #they're both distinct enough but there are some plot elements that are just strikingly familiar fresh off of reading v-tamer #i only talk about the one comparison that really disappointed me but i do think the other comparisons to v-tamer i could make #are actually kind of cute and charming #next is very much a manga i wanted to enjoy more than i did #but i at least didn't dislike it enough to DNF it entirely

[writingmccord]

(a little drabble about my own life and love or lack thereof)

Sometimes I get to the points in my life where I let society pressure me into thinking, "Hey, aren't you getting a little old to be 'following' this couple?" I feel like fandoms are a thing of my teenage days, or are supposed to be, and following a couple that is no longer making a show is not really being part of a fandom.

I've noticed on and off that I "follow" (what's another word for this that's less creepy? Maybe it'll come to me) couples that I aspire toward--that I feel won't necessarily let me down for a lack of trying. Maybe this is because, at this stage in my life, I'm lonely. Maybe it's because I've seen so many relationships fail when I thought they would succeed. Maybe it's because I saw a relationship that I thought, in my mind somewhere, would last forever but ended in death of a spouse that happened much too soon. I see relationships end all the time that I had a feeling would last--or the ones that have lasted for so long and then crumble. Yes, people grow, people change, but where does that leave the people who want someone to grow with?

Without explaining too much of my life, I'm a full-time student and teacher. I am entering into yet another graduate program, and while I am extremely privileged in this regard, I can't help this icky feeling of loneliness. I want someone to celebrate the highs with, to hold me during the lows, and even someone to hold during their lows. Yet, in this society, it's so hard to find.

Anyway, if you've gotten this far, thanks for reading a little glimpse into my life and why I still blog about a random couple who I don't know and probably never will know. It's refreshing to see two people still be together after almost ten years, and while we only get tiny glimpses of their life together, we see it's possible for people to find "their person." That's all.

[apexulansis]

SHIPPING INFO // ANSWER THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR MUSES SO PEOPLE KNOW HOW SHIPPING WORKS ON YOUR BLOG.

TAGGED BY: @dynamoprotocol who did this a while ago but maybe fixed the @ because i Just Now got the notif for it thank you!

WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER(S)?

Vindaka with @vin-robles obviously!!! That ship is literally the entire reason Ardaka even exists. Probably why Kariians are they are right now exist as well, since I might not have bothered to split them off from their original fandom-related stuff were it not for this particular dynamic. They're very dear to me. :')

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?

In large part, it's pretty dumb to try and apply age gap stuff to aliens who live hundreds, thousands, if not an indefinite, number of years. So a literal age gap is inevitable and kind of always will be. Obviously I don't mean this as a way to excuse gross shit but when it comes to adults, yeah, the age can vary by literally millions of years in some cases.

It gets uncomfortable when the other muse is more comparable to a teen than an adult. As Earth years equivalent I'd say anything younger than 22 would be Uncomfy.

(But again, doesn't always apply. I mean, one of Ardaka's partners is an A.I. and they most definitely do not mature the same way that organics do. So.......)

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED NSFW?

When it comes to writing with me, you'd probably just know it when you see it. I don't like to jump right into NSFW territory, I'd rather allude/suggest to it first — and the post would be tagged 'SUGGESTIVE CW' or something.

If it's the very first time things creep into NSFW territory with someone, I will just give them an OOC heads up so they know, and we can go from there. Sometimes people don't want to write those things out, in which case I'd like to know that so I can fade-to-black accordingly.

As for my personal opinion — I kinda just think of the meaning of NSFW, as in Not Safe For Work. If I wouldn't want to be caught reading it at work/in public, then yeah, it should be censored or tagged.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?

Yes lmao. I don't just want IC chemistry, I want OOC chemistry too, and that can be kinda hard to come by on this site. I don't really like shipping with people (Emotional Character Relationship kind of shipping, not just 'they fuck sometimes') if I don't consider them a friend. Honestly, the rapport being good OOC is almost more important than the IC connection to me. Like... if I don't add you on Discord, it's safe to say I'm not gonna ship with you.

When the IC/OOC chemistry is Just Right, then no, I'm not selective. If I've already established a ship with someone, I'm pretty willing to do Whatever since I already trust in their writing skills.

WHO ARE OTHER CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH?

Other than Ardaka / Vin....

Ardaka / Two / Xaallo with @precognitor and @xaallo. I love them as an OT3 but also as separate ships on their own right. The chemistry of these three is always good, but it definitely changes depending on whether or not Ardaka is with both of them, or just Two, or just Xaallo. It makes for a very dynamic relationship with a lot of variety. It's been one of my favorite things to write over the past year or two.

Ardaka / Sliske with @ohshadow. Sometimes I think about the interactions of their original canon counterparts and it's wild. It's wild how far they've come now. Channy and I haven't gotten too many chances to write them but it's great when we do. I just feel so!!! Proud!!! Of where we've both taken our characters. I love the way Ardaka and Sliske banter of course, I just feel a lot of OOC contentment for it. It's been so many years since we've known each other, and I think it's pretty cool where we're at now.

Ardaka / Malphas with @guildoffarah. One of the few ships I can't exactly call slow-burn even if there is a good amount of development behind it now. Their chemistry was just Immediate. Also one of the only relationships Ardaka has where his species/identity isn't a barrier he has to overcome at some point, so that has a lot to do with it, I'm sure. Anyway, Farah has been a joy to know and write with!

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?

Ehhhhhhhhh? Probably not? It's beneficial to confirm it later down the line sure but if the ship happens naturally in writing then so be it. I don't really like controlling the relationship direction much OOC, I just want it to progress naturally. If it happens, then it happens.

I don't want to just be asked straight up for a ship. Someone can suggest a scenario in which our muses could bond, but I don't want to plot the outcome of such a thing, if that makes sense.

ARE YOU SHIP OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?

Obsessed but only with the ships that develop naturally or for ships with already established shipping partners. I have NO idea how people can just make posts that say "like this post and we'll ship together". Shipping calls? I think it's weird, cannot relate at all, sorry.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?

Not in a fandom. I don't really like picking a one favorite anyway; they're all good ships! I like them all for their own reasons!

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?

Write with me. If we're mutuals, I am open to the possibility of it happening. We would just have to find out how it goes IC!

If we're already shipping partners, it's as easy as just suggesting a potential other pairing in passing and we can shoot the shit about it.

#OOC. #OOC: DASH GAMES. #thats a tag now i guess #anyway ty for the tag again!