#but with genuinely love I appreciate the support I’ve been receiving and I think is the reason I’ve been posting

[mercurygguk]

if it’s not you · kth (m)

↳ summary; Kim Taehyung grew up watching his parents fall more in love for each day that passed and he always longed for that great, passionate love himself. But if it’s not you? Then he doesn’t want it.

pairing; taehyung x f. reader

word count; 8,582

rating; 18+

content; exes to lovers!au, smut/angst, a bit of fluff

warnings; making out, dirty talk, nipple play, oral sex (f. receiving), hand job, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, cream pie, possessive/jealous and slightly insecure taetae <3

chapters. part one | part two

↳ listen to the playlist here.

author’s note; it’s here!!!! the taehyung fic i’ve been wanting to write for SO long ughhhdjsk i really hope you like it and that you enjoy it despite all the hurt and angst heh – please let me know what you think! comment, reblog, send me an ask – whatever you feel most comfortable with!! everything is greatly appreciated <3 thank you sm for reading muah

ps. a big thank you to @kookingtae​ once again for beta-ing for me and for helping me brainstorm for the smut scene <33 ur the best ily thank you for your support and help!

Kim Taehyung is not sad.

Sadness is not what he feels when he goes out with his friends and spots two people all over each other, happy and in love. Sadness is not what he feels when he sits at home, watching a movie by himself. Sadness is not what he feels when his friends tell him they’re engaged and are having an engagement party to celebrate.

No, Kim Taehyung is way past sadness. 

If anything, what he feels is most likely something more akin to a feeling called ‘I don’t care anymore’... a certain, unexplainable emptiness. He doesn’t care that everyone around him is falling in love and getting engaged, he doesn’t care if two strangers are all over each other when he’s at a bar. He doesn’t care that all of his one-night-stands give him a nasty look when he tells them to leave in the middle of the night after having emotionless – I don’t care who you are or what your name is – sex with them.

Taehyung just doesn't care anymore. Or that’s what he thought, at least.

He thought that he wouldn’t give two shits when he saw you walk through the door, arriving at the engagement party his friends are currently throwing. He also thought that he wouldn’t care that some unknown guy was trailing right behind you, his hand tightly wrapped around yours.

But Taehyung should’ve known better. 

He should’ve known his mind would play tricks on him and pull up flashbacks to the day he lost all belief in love.

Two years ago…

“Kiss me,” he pleaded, voice barely above a whisper as he spoke. He begged you, the unsteady tone of his voice giving away that he was on the brink of breaking down if you didn’t connect your lips with his within the next few seconds. He was desperate, breathing heavily as he tried his best to keep the tears from welling in his eyes.

The last few weeks had been absolute hell. The apartment has been empty beyond measure, most of your stuff gone by now. You haven’t been in the apartment since the day you left and the only reason you were back tonight was because you forgot a few things. Taehyung knew you’d come, you had texted him to let him know just so that you wouldn’t be barging in on him at a random hour. One thing he didn’t realize though when you texted him was how much he genuinely hated all of this until you stood in front of him with a small, sad-looking smile on your face.

How you ended up in the bedroom, cuddling and now almost kissing, was unbeknownst to him and you as well. Taehyung had been sitting on the edge of the bed, watching as you packed your remaining things in utter silence. When you were finished and wanted to give him one last goodbye hug, he had made the first move to urge you onto the bed with him. It’s not that he had bad intentions with it. He just needed to hold you one last time before you’d move on for good. Cuddles then turned into him pulling you on top of him to straddle his waist, begging and pleading for you to kiss him.

“Taehyung…” You softly let his name fall from your lips in a sigh as you looked down at him from your straddling position on top of him, “we shouldn’t-”

“Please, ____,” he tried again with pain laced in his words, sitting up with you still perched on his lap, “please, just kiss me.”

[end of flashback]

Two years since he last saw you and talked to you. Two years of losing every ounce of belief he had in ‘the great love’ of life. Why continue to look for love when he already had the love of his life and lost her?

In Taehyung’s head, there was no reason to look for love when the person he loved more than life itself left him with only half a heart to live by two years ago. Even if he wanted to find another great love, it simply wouldn’t be possible. He lives with only half of his heart and you can’t love someone with just half a heart.

Not when someone else has the other half.

“Hey, isn’t that ____?”

Taehyung is pulled from his thoughts by Jimin, his best friend since high school and the only person who would be able to recognize his ex-girlfriend from miles away – even after two years have gone by.

“Yep,” Taehyung curtly replies and brings his drink to his lips, taking a long sip. The heavy, dark taste of whiskey burns his throat on the way down but he welcomes it, suddenly in desperate need of feeling something that isn’t the tug on the strings of his half heart.

Jimin’s face scrunches up in confusion, “who’s the guy?”

I don’t know, Jimin. Does it look like I’ve stayed in touch with her since she walked out on me? Do you think she’d be across the room, in another man’s embrace, if I had stayed in touch with her?

Instead of saying that, Taehyung shrugs ‘carelessly’ and takes another sip of his drink, eyes following you as you and your date move towards the newly-engaged couple. 

He can’t take his eyes off you.

You look so different and yet the exact same. 

Every move of your body and expression on your face twist in the most beautiful, hypnotizing way as always. Your hair is shorter, he notices, but it suits you. You’re glowing from across the room and your smile lights up the entire apartment when you throw your head back in laughter.

It travels across the room and reaches Taehyung’s ears, cutting straight through the music flowing from the stereo. The pretty sound causes his chest to fill with a familiar warmth. Except this time it isn’t him who’s on the receiving end of your smile and gentle touch; your date is. As much as it bothers him, Taehyung can’t stop watching you as you talk with the hosts, wishing them congratulations on their engagement, and handing them the gift you brought along. And then you introduce the man next to you, a bright smile on your face as you watch them shake hands. 

Something vile rises within Taehyung at the sight. He knows he has no right to feel like this but something about the way you’re introducing this random guy to you and Taehyung’s shared friends doesn’t sit right with him. It used to be you and him, attending every get-together together. You always arrived hand in hand, all smiles and good vibes because nothing could stop the two of you from touching each other, from being attached at all times – from being in love.

“Jia didn’t mention anything about a new boyfriend,” Jimin mutters from next to Taehyung. The annoyed glare he shoots at his best friend causes Jimin to shrug innocently, “I mean – I think, of all people, she would know if ____ was seeing someone.”

Jia is a shared friend between you and Jimin. While Jia is one of your best friends, Jia and Jimin are more than friends but not quite enough to be considered a couple. They will get there eventually – Jimin just needs to get his head out of his own ass and ask the poor girl on a date instead of only showing up at her doorstep for some fun in bed. Jia is waiting patiently for him to make the next move but Jimin isn’t that smart when it comes to serious relationships.

“Don’t you have something else to do rather than talking my ear off about my ex and her date?”

The bitterness on Taehyung’s tongue feels odd but he can’t help it. He hasn’t seen you once in two years after you left that night and now you’re here, looking beautiful as ever with another man by your side. 

Jealousy has never been something Taehyung cared much for. He never had a reason to but as you let your date wrap an arm around your waist to pull you closer, the jealousy washes away every rational thought he’s had since he saw you walk through the door.

Jimin mumbles something under his breath before he disappears from Taehyung’s side, leaving him to stand there while rolling the glass of whiskey in his hand, dark and glaring eyes shooting daggers at the man you brought along tonight.

However, it seems his glare from across the room also grazes you as you turn your head to look around. Taehyung’s breath hitches in his throat when your eyes meet his and he can tell you let out a gasp once you realize just who exactly you’re locking eyes with. Your date asks you if something’s wrong and you shake your head in response, telling him it’s nothing.

Taehyung’s body heats up with a familiar tingling feeling that feels all too normal and yet it’s a strange sensation. He hasn’t felt what he just felt in two years, the different women he’s slept with or been out with have never once caused warmth and excitement to spread through his entire body as the ones he just felt. Not a single woman has managed to trigger Taehyung’s interest in more than just a one-night-stand.

But, of course, it’s you.

Who else would light a fire in his soul but the same woman who blew it out a few years ago?

The irony almost makes Taehyung huff out an unimpressed chuckle. He fights it and pushes it back but it's no use as you decide to raise your hand and give him a small wave, a hesitant smile on your lips as you do. Taehyung lets the chuckle leave him, shaking his head in disbelief, watching your smile falter into a soft frown.

You left him.

You walked out of the door two years ago and dropped off earth’s surface until tonight. Taehyung only knew you were alive and well thanks to social media and your circle of shared friends, not that it was much help. His so-called friends weren't very cooperative every time he’d ask about you. Especially when he would visit Jimin and Jia would be there – that woman kept all the news about you behind locked lips whenever Taehyung was around.

So, when it really comes down to it, Taehyung has no idea what you've been doing for two years. All he knows is that you went overseas to live and work there, making the distance between you and him bigger than he’d expected when he watched you walk out of the home you once shared. Taehyung doesn’t understand why you bolted out of the country as soon as you could – what you went looking for, he doesn’t know. Probably no one knows – except for your parents maybe. 

All Taehyung is hoping for is that he wasn’t the reason.

Thoughts like ‘how long have you been seeing this guy’ and ‘did you even think about me once while you were overseas, living a brand new life’ fill Taehyung’s head as he downs the rest of his drink. He steals one last glance at you, catching your eyes for a split-second before heading towards the kitchen of this penthouse apartment he currently finds himself in. He can feel your eyes on him as he slips his way through other guests but he keeps his own eyes focused on the whiskey bottle he spots on the kitchen island.

Once he reaches it, he uncaps it and pours himself another glass. He takes a swig of the brown liquor, sighing deeply as he feels the strong and burning sensation in his throat. 

“Slow down there, tiger.”

Taehyung freezes in his spot, his glass of whiskey halfway to his lips to take another slurp when a familiar voice fills the kitchen. His chest tightens for a split-second before he turns around to face the person he’s been thinking about non-stop since she left. 

You’re flashing a smile at him when he turns around, one that doesn’t really reach your eyes as your real smile would. He notices because he always notices. It’s one of the many things you can’t hide from him. No matter how much you try to plaster on a fake smile, he’ll always know when it’s real or not. 

When he doesn’t reply to your teasing comment, you pull your lips into a thin line as you cautiously step closer.

He can’t stop staring at you. 

When you left your shared home two years ago on the worst night of Taehyung’s life, he had no idea when he would see you again. Back then he had hoped you’d regret your choice of moving out and come back to him, tell him that you made a mistake, that not being with him was the only thing you couldn’t get yourself to do.

But it never happened – and two years passed.

“How have you been?” You ask, voice small and careful as if you’re afraid he’ll scream at you and throw all his pent up anger at you as the first thing.

Taehyung finally manages to take his eyes off you, shifting them to look at the glass of whiskey in his hand. He swirls the liquid around a few times before looking up again, a faint and slightly sad smile on his face.

“Okay,” he responds. “Given the circumstances, that is.”

He can tell that you know exactly what he means, the frown on your face giving it away. It makes a short chuckle leave his lips because it’s kind of comical how you haven’t seen each other in two years and the first time you meet again is at an engagement party – the type of party you were both so sure you’d throw sooner or later had it not been for the fact that the universe wanted it differently.

“You brought a date,” Taehyung breaks the silence hanging over you.

Your lips part in surprise. You did not expect your ex-boyfriend to ask about your date, but then again, you should’ve seen it coming. 

“Uh, yeah, he’s–” you begin, not sure what or where to start. Taehyung watches you intently, curious to hear your response. You feel a strong urge to explain yourself to him, why you don’t know. “It’s nothing serious– it’s very new, so…”

“I see,” Taehyung hums and takes another sip of his whiskey, the alcohol still burning and strong on his tongue.

“Hey, about–,” you begin but the shake of Taehyung’s head causes you to stay quiet.

“We don’t have to do that,” he simply says. You frown deeply as he glances over your shoulder at your date. “I’m over it and it seems you are too.”

“But–”

“It’s good to see you again, ____.”

With that Taehyung grabs the half empty bottle of whiskey off the table and leaves the kitchen, a breath of relief escaping him. It’s gonna take a lot of alcohol to get through tonight with you being in the same room, so close yet so far – not his to touch or hold, the only thing that is his are the memories of doing exactly that in the past.

And nothing has ever left a more bitter taste in his mouth before.

As the party carries on, Taehyung has been drinking more whiskey. He’s not drunk per say but he’s definitely tipsy and it shows as he stands in a corner alongside Jimin and Namjoon. He’s not paying attention to their conversation, too busy watching you and your date mingling. 

Taehyung is not much for admitting it but he’s been keeping an eye on your date all night, watching how he acts around you. He’s not afraid to touch you, that’s for sure, the constant placement of his hand on your lower back is a giveaway. However, he hasn’t seen the two of you kiss or anything of the sort ever since you arrived. It’s odd because, of all people, Taehyung knows that you’re not one to shy away from PDA. You were never big on it but you never despised it either.

“Tae, stop staring,” Jimin’s voice penetrates his focused thoughts. Taehyung tears his eyes from you to look at his best friend. Jimin gives him a look, one he can’t help but laugh at. Taehyung pushes himself up from his leaning position against the wall, standing to his full height. Jimin grabs his arm. “I’m serious, whatever you’re thinking, don’t.”

“Relax,” Taehyung smirks. “I’m just gonna introduce myself, that’s it.”

Namjoon shakes his head, taking a sip of his drink, “sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.”

“Exactly,” Jimin pointedly agrees with him. “Don’t ruin it.”

Taehyung shrugs off Jimin’s hand, shooting his friends a glare, “I’m not gonna ruin anything.”

Before his friends can try and talk him out of it again, he wanders off towards you and your date – a dark-haired guy who seems friendly, boring even, and nothing like the type of guy Taehyung had imagined you’d go for.

You don’t notice Taehyung’s presence until he’s standing right next to you, offering a hand to your date. Your eyes widen in surprise, eyes shifting between your ex-boyfriend, his offered hand and your date for the night. You can’t help the small sliver of panic within your chest as you watch them interact.

“Hey man, I don’t think we’ve met before,” he greets him, “I’m Taehyung.”

“Jinyoung,” your date replies, giving Taehyung’s hand a weak shake without much thought. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.”

Taehyung smirks, eyeing Jinyoung up and down for a moment, wondering where on earth you managed to run into this guy and why you thought of bringing him to your friends’ engagement party. The majority of the people here know you and once this guy isn’t part of your life anymore, you’ll spend your energy explaining why at the next event.

“Taehyung is, um…” You begin, turning to Jinyoung to provide some information as to why he would suddenly come over and introduce himself like this. “He’s my, uh–”

“Ex-boyfriend,” Taehyung finishes for you. He watches in satisfaction as Jinyoung’s eyes widen in surprise, the faint hints of intimidation evident in them. “We broke up two years ago.”

“Oh, well, I had no idea there was an… ex-boyfriend,” Jinyoung trails off, glancing at you in confusion.

Your attention, however, is aimed at Taehyung, “Tae, can we talk–”

“Did you know ____ fled the country after breaking up with me?” Taehyung lets out a sarcastic laugh, watching how Jinyoung almost squirms in discomfort. Bet he didn’t sign up for a meeting with the ex-boyfriend when he said yes to join you tonight. “Is that where she met you or?”

Your jaw tightens as you place a hand on Taehyung’s arm, catching his attention. He glances at your hand and then you, eyes meeting yours. He notices the desperation in them, the grip you have on his arm.

“Can I talk to you under four eyes? Now, please.”

He smiles at you, a tipsy smile but endearing nonetheless.

“Absolutely,” he tells you before glancing back at Jinyoung. “If you’ll excuse us for a moment.”

Jinyoung looks confused and awkward as Taehyung flashes him a fake smile before allowing himself to be dragged away by you. It isn’t until you’re in a secluded corner of your friends’ penthouse, you let go of his arm. Taehyung leans against the wall, a small smirk on his face as you stare at him for a moment before your face morphs into disbelief.

“What the hell was that all about?”

He shrugs, “I was just introducing myself.”

You let out a chuckle, crossing your arms over your chest, “oh, is that what it was? How silly of me to think you were trying to measure your dick with his!”

He huffs out a scoff, rolling his eyes, “oh, sweetheart, I don’t have to and you know it.”

Your mouth falls open at his cocky behavior. Whoever this man in front of you is, you don’t know him. He is not the man you broke up with two years ago, he’s not even a shadow of the man you were hopelessly in love with once. 

Taehyung watches your expression fall as if realization hits you square in the face. His ego covers it up perfectly but it hurts seeing the realization on your face, his heart sinking to his stomach as he realizes himself what you just realized –neither of you are the same people you were two years ago. And for some reason that realization hurts more than he thought it would because change is supposed to be good, right?

“Maybe breaking up with you wasn’t a mistake after all,” you tell him, eyes filled with disappointment and hurt. Taehyung frowns as the words leave your lips. “You’re an asshole.”

“____, I–”

You shake your head before turning on your heel, heading back to Jinyoung who’s been watching the two of you with worried eyes. Taehyung catches Jinyoung’s gaze over your shoulder, the judgemental look he shoots at him bruising his ego. However, the sight of your hand slipping into Jinyoung’s bruises his heart as he watches you and your date bid the engaged couple goodbye before leaving the penthouse.

Hand in hand.

Loud knocking wakes Taehyung up the following morning. He squints an eye open, the bright light coming from the morning sun hitting him straight in the face. He lets out a low groan, dropping his head back into the softness of his pillows. He forgot to pull the curtains when he came home last night. It happens too often after a night out – a bad habit, really.

The knocking disappears for a moment before it returns, more persistent this time around. With a sigh, Taehyung gets himself out of bed, slipping on a t-shirt and sweatpants before sauntering towards his front door.

Who in the world could be rapping their knuckles on his door this early on a sunday morning? 

He glances towards the kitchen, eyes squinting to read the red numbers on the oven. His eyebrows lift in surprise. It’s not morning anymore, it’s past noon and someone is very persistent on the other side of the door. Once he reaches the door, he sneaks a peek through the peephole, breath hitching in his throat when he realizes who’s on the other side. His forehead connects with the surface of the door as a low ‘fuck’ leaves his lips.

Inhaling sharply, he grabs the door handle and pulls the door open.

“What are you doing here?” He asks.

Taehyung sees no point in greeting you first, the question flying from his mouth before he can process it properly. He’s surprised to see you on his doorstep after what happened at the engagement party last night. When he came home and plopped into his bed, he had been thinking about whether or not he should seek you out to talk things through. He never got the chance to think further about it before sleep overtook and pulled him under.

“We need to talk,” you tell him, pushing past him, shoulder bumping his.

Taehyung closes the door after you before following you further into his home. You stand by his bookshelf, several feet away from him. He watches you as you look around, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants to keep them from feeling restless. 

“How do you know where I live?” He decides to ask after a moment of intense silence.

You turn to face him from your new spot by the big window, the view from it being of a park with endless rows of trees and bushes, the colors of them ranging from green to brown to orange to yellow. 

“Jimin told me,” you tell him, “but that’s not important – what the hell was your problem last night?”

Taehyung shrugs, “nothing… I was just introducing myself.”

A sarcastic laugh escapes your pretty lips, a look of amusement on your face.

“Bullshit, Tae,” you protest. “We haven’t seen each other in two years and you pull a stunt like that? It’s not like you.”

He can’t help but scoff.

Not like him? 

It’s not like him to spend two years watching women come and go in his home. It’s not like him to let the woman he loves leave him and not do shit about it for two years. It’s not like him to not care about love at all. It’s not like him to lose all faith and belief in the great love of his life but he did and it’s your fault. You made him what he is today. You up and left, leaving him because ‘things weren’t the way they used to be’. He accepted what you wanted because you were so certain that was what you wanted at the time. He shouldn’t have but he did because he loved you and he’d rather love you from a distance than keep you in a place that didn’t make you happy.

Blaming you isn’t right but it’s always easier to blame someone else than yourself.

“I pulled a stunt?” The anger that’s starting to boil within him laces within his voice as he moves closer. Your eyes are locked with his as he slowly moves across the room, nearing you. “You’re the one who brought a fucking date, _____! You knew I would be there and yet you thought ‘hey, let me bring a date and introduce him to everyone there while my ex is in the same fucking room’!”

You let out a frustrated groan.

“It’s been two years, Taehyung! For all I know, you could’ve brought someone too!”

The frustration is seeping through his veins as he steps closer, only a few feet from you at this point. You’re close and he can touch you if he just reaches his hands out to you but you’ve never felt farther away. Had he known two years ago that it would come to this, he wouldn’t have let you walk out of the door that night. He would’ve fought for you, told you that you would figure things out together. That he would do his utmost best to make you happy – no matter the sacrifices he would have to make.

“Do you know how fucking miserable I’ve been for the past two years? Do you know how many times I’ve asked about you only to get no answers from anyone?”

The guilt is evident on your face as he takes the risk and steps even closer. He can feel the warmth radiating off your body now, the close proximity doing nothing to calm his thundering heart.

“Have you ever, just for a second, thought about how fucking hard it’s been after you left and fled the fucking country?”

You let out a shaky breath, “I didn’t–”

Taehyung can’t fight the dry laugh leaving him, “I begged you to stay, ____. I was begging you but you left anyway and for what?”

He watches as you shrug helplessly, mouth opening and closing while you try to decipher what to say, how to explain. He would appreciate an explanation – ‘things aren’t the way they used to be’ isn’t enough anymore.

“I… I had some stuff I needed to figure out,” you mutter.

“We could’ve figured it out together!” He argues, hands thrown out in pure frustration.

The shake of your head has Taehyung frowning deeply. You look away, unable to watch the way his face falls as the words leave your lips, “I couldn’t love you the way you deserved. I had to leave. It was what was best for us back then–”

“No,” he mutters, voice soft and filled with sorrow, “you don’t get to decide what’s best for me.”

You feel him step back, taking his warmth with him. He sits down on the couch, running a hand through his hair as an exasperated sigh leaves his chest. You cross your arms over your chest; the act doing nothing to comfort yourself but doing enough to keep yourself warm after he removed himself from right in front of you. 

Unsure, what to do, you sit down on the window pane, watching the man you used to be inseparable from. He looks tired and not because you forced him out of bed by knocking on his door. He looks like the past two years have been nothing but hell for him – and you believe it. Leaving him was one of the hardest things you’ve ever done but it was necessary in order to find yourself.

“I didn’t tell you everything,” you quietly tell him, eyes dropping to look at the wooden floor instead of him.

You feel his eyes on you, heavy and filled with longing, hurt and love.

“I knew you’d never let me go if I told you everything,” you continue when he stays silent. “I lost myself, Tae… And I knew as long as I wasn’t at peace with myself, I wouldn’t be able to love you the way you deserved.”

You take a chance and look up, your eyes meeting his in an instant. You feel your heart skip a beat, a pain so strong it’s almost unbearable shooting through your body. Taehyung’s eyes are glossy as he watches you make your way to where he sits on the couch. You kneel in front of him, your hands finding his in a weak attempt to comfort him but you know nothing could possibly remove the two years of pain and anger he’s been through.

He stays quiet, eyes skimming your face as you sit in front of him.

“Leaving you is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do,” you softly tell him and feel a tightness in your throat. You bite back the tears but your voice betrays you as you speak up again. “And while… While trying to figure my shit out, I realized that you and I–”

Taehyung’s hands engulf yours, fingers slipping through yours to intertwine them. Pain is etched onto his face as you sniffle, one of his hands reaching up to wipe away the one teardrop that managed to escape just now.

“I realized that you and I were the only thing in my life that actually made sense but it was too late.”

“Baby…” Taehyung begins, the nickname leaving him before he can think about it and the appropriateness of it.

You shake your head, “I left you, Tae. I left and, like you said, I fled the country like a coward when all I had to do was talk to the people around me and find another way.”

The tears won’t stop coming at this point and it’s then Taehyung realizes that it was never about him. It has always been about you and how you felt; not your feelings for him but for yourself. If only you had talked to him, reached out to him and asked for help – he would’ve stepped in and done whatever it would take to make you happy again.

“I’m really sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you,” you cry, the sheer realization of just how much unnecessary pain you’ve caused him seems like the worst thing you ever could’ve done. You hurt the man you love and now it’s hurting you – well-deserved one might say. “God, you must hate me so much.”

“No, hey,” Taehyung calls softly, cupping your face and wiping your tears away. You look up at him, tear-filled eyes meeting his glossy ones. He smiles at you through the build-up tears in his dark brown eyes. “I don’t hate you. I could never hate you.”

“But–”

He shakes his head, “sure, I’m pissed at you for leaving. But I could never hate you, _____.”

The way he says it with such tenderness and softness makes your bottom lip quiver, fresh tears coming to the surface but it’s not an issue – Taehyung wipes them away with the pads of his thumbs, smiling softly at you. Why he’s comforting you rather than kicking you out of his home is a mystery to you, one you probably won’t ever solve. But you’ll take it, the feeling of his hands touching you again similar to the feeling of finally drinking water again after spending days in the desert. Or when you finally get to sleep after a really, really long and stressful day.

Comforting. Healing. Loving. 

“I’m sorry,” you softly say, voice so quiet and soft as if the atmosphere would break into a million pieces if you spoke any louder. Your heart is beating hard, thundering at 110 miles per hour. Taehyung is leaning closer, a magnetic pull between him and you causing him to do so. It’s impossible to stay away, especially after you sat down in front of him.

Taehyung huffs out a soft chuckle, the air brushing your lips. He whispers, “stop apologizing.”

“Sorry,” you whisper, causing Taehyung to let another chuckle escape before softly, carefully pressing his lips to yours. 

The world stops spinning and your heart stops beating for a second, the feeling of Taehyung’s lips on yours so familiar you might start crying again. It’s like returning home after years of chaotic traveling, the familiarity of it so comforting and perfect. You sigh deeply, melting against him, hands gripping his forearms as if to support yourself. Then a soft moan escapes you and Taehyung tilts his head to deepen the kiss, tongue brushing your bottom lip before slipping inside and touching yours, warm and wet and so addicting.

In need of more, you get up and push him back on the couch. He welcomes you onto his lap, pulling you closer, hands gripping your waist tightly, fingertips digging into your sides. The kisses you share are soft, passionate, and filled with words and affection you’ve kept inside for two years. Things you never got to say and affection you never got to show – all of it being poured into the kisses, deep and scorching hot.

Your arms lock around his neck, pulling him so close your noses are squishes together. He moans against your lips when your hips sink down on him, grinding against him. He feels himself grow harder, blood rushing to his cock in seconds as you continue your movements. 

“Tae…” You whimper softly when his hands slide underneath your top, warm palms sliding over the expanse of your back, nails digging into your skin. “Need you– please…”

In reality, you’re not his to touch and kiss. You haven’t been for two years. When this weekend is over, you’ll both go back to your everyday lives, return to reality – realities where neither of you are in each other’s. 

“What about Jinyoung?” Taehyung can’t help but ask, pulling away just enough to look you in the eyes.

“He went back home this morning,” you tell him, your words causing a sliver of hope to appear in Taehyung’s chest. You smile softly, fingers playing with the curly strands of black hair at the back of his neck. You shrug with a sigh, “he asked about us, I told him the truth. He left.”

“What truth?”

The question is careful but Taehyung needs to know.

“That I’m still in love with you,” you quietly admit.

If you can’t feel the harsh beating of Taehyung’s heart, you surely must be able to hear it. It’s pounding against his rib cage, making it hard for him to breathe as he stares at you. A million thoughts are running through his mind but the only thing he can focus on is the overwhelming urge to kiss you like the world is ending, worship you and make up for lost time.

“I don’t blame you if you can’t forgive me for what I did,” you softly say. “But I hope you’ll give me a chance to-“

Taehyung cuts you off by crashing his mouth to yours; desperate, needy, eager and rushed. A whimpering moan escapes you and travels into his mouth, goosebumps rising upon his skin at the pretty sound.

“I forgive you,” he says between kisses as he pushes your jacket off your shoulders. You help him get rid of it, lips never leaving his as you continue to kiss. You have two years to catch up on – two years equals a lot of kisses and a lot of making love. You inhale deeply when he pulls away, hand gripping your jaw to make you look at him. His eyes stare into yours, dark and filled with so many emotions you can barely keep track. “Don’t make me regret it.”

You shake your head, “I won’t. I promise.”

“Good,” he whispers before pulling you back in for more, unable to stop for long.

The next clothing items to go are your top and his t-shirt as you tug it up and over his head, throwing it to the floor along with your jacket. Taehyung lets out a breathless moan against your mouth when you slide your hands up his abdomen, fingertips brushing over his chest and nipples. He groans as your nails dig into his skin, hands tightly gripping onto your thighs in a wordless response.

“Lay down,” he tells you, voice raspy from making out.

With one last soft kiss to his lips, you do as told. You lay down on the couch, watching him as he gets up on his feet, getting rid of his sweatpants. His eyes roam your body, grazing your skin and curves, taking it all in while feeling a wave of memories washing over him. It brings a feeling he can’t quite pinpoint to his chest, heart tightening as you offer him a soft smile.

Home.

That’s what he feels.

He finally feels at home again after two years of feeling like he didn’t belong in this new apartment of his; an apartment he found a few months after you left. He couldn’t stand being in the one you used to share because it didn’t feel like a home anymore. It’s when you sit up on the couch, your hand reaching for his to bring him back to you, that he realizes that no place will ever feel like home unless you’re there.

You’re his home – he belongs with you.

And you belong with him.

“Come back to me,” you whisper softly when he crawls onto the couch, hovering over you. His eyes shift between yours, three words he hasn’t said out loud to anyone but you at the tip of his tongue. “Tae…–”

“I love you.”

Your words get trapped in your throat, heart beating wildly in your chest as the three magical words bring a new kind of warmth to your entire body.

“I love you too.”

The rest is a blur – the way he kisses you deeply and passionately like it’s the last time, the sound of your pretty moans reaching his ears like a melody he’ll never get tired of, the feeling of his hands on your body, caressing you, taking you in and remembering everything about you; every dip and curve of your body. Every uneven texture of your skin, every dimple and small spot that makes you you.

“You’re mine,” he rasps against your chest as he trails it with kisses, your bra no longer covering you, giving him free access to all of you. His lips brush your nipple, another delicate moan escaping your lips at the feeling. “You’ve always been mine, haven’t you?”

“Yes– Oh my god,” You gasp, surprise shooting through you as he wraps his lips around a nipple, sucking. Your back arches into him as one of his hands cups the other breast, squeezing and caressing it in the most caring way possible.

That’s the thing about Taehyung – he can be rough both verbally and physically but he knows how you like it and he never strays far away from it. He’ll caress your body and worship it like you’re a goddess while arousing you with his words, dirty words falling from his lips without a struggle. It’s the perfect mix of everything; the best of both worlds basically.

You whimper softly when he tugs at your nipple with his teeth before letting go, leaving it wet and swollen as he moves further down your naked body. Your legs spread automatically when he reaches your core, his mouth hovering above your heat as he glances up at you. A small smirk spreads across his face as he watches you run your hands over your stomach and all the way up to cup your own breasts. You bite your lip, eyes closed as you await his touch.

“Tell me, baby,” he hums, leaving a soft kiss on your hip bone. “Did you miss this?”

You hum in response, fingers pinching your nipples as you feel his breath on your core.

“Words,” he reminds you, “I need your words.”

Your eyes peep open to glance down at him, the sight of him between your legs, messy and curly hair and swollen, plump lips twisted into a teasing smirk enough to cause you to let out a soft moan.

“Yes,” you tell him, breathlessly. “I missed you, missed your touch– please, Tae…”

The sound of you begging for him to touch you causes a feeling of pride to fill his entire body, the smirk on his face turning into a grin. He hums in satisfaction, leaning down to press a soft, careful kiss to your folds. You whimper softly, the hints of whine following.

“I’ll be honest,” the air from his words brushes your soaked core, a shiver running through your body. His hands tighten around your thighs as he brings them over his shoulders to pull you closer to his face. “I missed having you like this, too.”

Before you can even think of a response to his confession, his mouth is on you. You gasp in surprise, hands reaching for him to grab his hair, the couch, his hand – anything. Taehyung offers one of his hands, locking it with yours. Your fingers slip between his, your grip tight as he eats you out, his tongue licking your folds. You’re whimpering above him, the feeling of his tongue flicking your clit over and over again before he sucks it causing your moans to become higher and more whiny as he works you closer to the edge.

“Fuck,” you cry, thighs trembling as you feel your orgasm coming. Taehyung keeps your legs spread open with his free hand, his grip on you so strong you’re unable to escape the overwhelming feeling of an orgasm. “Tae, I’m close– fuckfuckfuck–”

An immense wave of pleasure washes over you, a guttural moan leaving your pretty lips as you tumble over the edge, abdomen tightening as you come. Taehyung moans against you as he continues to help you through it, licking up your juices, the slurping noises lewd and explicit enough to bring a heat to your face.

You’re trying to catch your breath, a smile on your face as Taehyung crawls back up. You sigh deeply as he leans down and presses a row of kisses onto your jaw and cheek, one of his hands sliding up your thigh.

“You feeling okay?” He asks, face inches from yours as his eyes meet yours.

You nod, smiling, “I feel great.”

He smiles softly as he leans down, connecting his mouth with yours. You’re able to taste yourself on his tongue as it brushes yours, the taste arousing and dirty but so hot, you might lose your mind.

“Wanna be inside you,” he groans as he grinds against you, the only thing keeping him from slipping inside being his boxers. His cock twitches in its confinements, eager to be let free, eager to be buried deeply within your warmth. “Wanna make love to you, baby– show you how much I’ve missed you…”

“Do it, Tae,” you urge him on, hands reaching for the waistband of his boxers, “show me.”

With his help, you manage to free his hard cock, his boxers ending up on the floor with the rest of your discarded clothes. Your hand wraps around his length, a soft groan escaping his lips as he drops his head to your shoulder. You pump him a few times before guiding the tip to your entrance, softly gasping when you feel it nested between your folds.

Taehyung takes over, replacing your hand with his own. Your arms snake around his neck, pulling him closer, lips catching his in a kiss. He takes this as his chance to slip inside, pushing against your entrance until he’s past your folds. You both moan against each other’s mouth as he sinks inside, the length and girth of him stretching you out. He moves slowly, sliding further inside inch after inch, carefully.

“Fuck, baby,” he groans once he bottoms out, every inch of him engulfed by your warm walls. His breathing is ragged as he stays still for a moment. “I’ll never get used to this.”

You smile at his comment, wrapping your legs around his waist. 

“Well, you better,” you tell him. “Because this time it’s forever.”

His heart skips a beat in his chest before he huffs out a strained laugh, the feeling of your walls tightening around him making it difficult for him to get words out.

“Is that a challenge or a promise?”

You shrug and smirks playfully, leaning up to kiss the corner of his mouth, “a challenging promise.”

He scoffs in amusement but doesn’t say anything in return. Instead he pulls out, leaving just the tip inside before thrusting back inside of you, hard and precise. The action leaves you gasping, back arching as he hits a sweet spot within you. He continues the action, pulling out and thrusting back in over and over again, fucking you hard but slow, his shaft brushing against your clit for every thrust.

“Fuck– feels good,” you whimper as he hooks a hand underneath your leg to change the angle of his thrusts. Your mouth falls open as he slides in even deeper, his tip hitting that sweet spot repeatedly.

“Yeah?” He watches you nod, teeth digging into your bottom lip as you suppress a moan. “Did he ever have you like this, huh? Did he ever make you feel like this?”

Taehyung knows expecting you to not have been with anyone since you broke up is a long stretch. The only thing that bothers him is if you’ve been with the one man he met and talked to last night. The thought of you and him together brings a bitter taste to his mouth and he just needs you to deny it.

The sudden possessive tone of his words has your heart beating faster. He doesn’t have to mention any name for you to know who he’s referring to. Like you said when you first talked to Taehyung at the party, you and Jinyoung’s relationship was nothing serious, very new and not intimate at all. You had barely kissed him properly – something held you back every time it would take a turn into something more.

The look in Taehyung’s eyes tells you he needs to know. He needs to know if you ever gave that part of yourself to Jinyoung.

“No,” you tell him, keeping eye contact as you answer him, hoping it’ll give him the peace of mind that he needs. Taehyung’s face softens as he lets his forehead drop to yours, his breath clashing against your face. You cup his face, thumbs brushing over his jawline where faint stubble is starting to appear. “He didn’t.”

The relief that runs through Taehyung’s body is evident in his kiss as he connects his mouth with yours, his free hand reaching up to grab one of yours. He intertwines your hands, bringing it above your head as he returns to the task at hand – getting you both to the edge. 

The constant touch of his tip to a certain spot within you has you reaching another orgasm faster than you’re prepared for. It washes over you in huge waves, running through your body with such force your walls tighten around him. Taehyung moans deeply, his thrusts becoming uneven as he, too, reaches his high. Soft words of encouragement reach his ear as he drops his head to your shoulder. Your fingers slide into his thick, black hair while your other hand tightens its grip around his.

He lowly groans as he stills within you, spurts of hot and white cum painting your walls as he comes, “shit–”

Hours later you’re watching Taehyung’s fingers play with yours as he holds your hand up in the air, both of you watching it as a comfortable silence surrounds you. It’s nice – to be cuddled up with him again after so long. You didn’t realize just how much you had missed him until you saw him last night. But despite the blissful atmosphere, there’s still an underlying tension of something that you need to talk about. Whether it’s your guilt for leaving or his regret for not fighting more is unknown.

“I wish I could go back in time,” you suddenly break the silence.

“Why do you say that?”

Taehyung brings your hand down, intertwining them instead as he leaves them to lay on top of the blanket covering your naked bodies. You continue to stare at your intertwined hands, wondering how it’s possible to match so perfectly with someone only for you to leave for two years despite them being where you belong.

“I wish I could go back and do it differently.”

Taehyung stays quiet for a moment before speaking up, “you can’t change the past, baby.”

His voice is delicate and soft, comforting.

“I know,” you sigh. “I just hate that I caused you so much pain. It was unnecessary and uncalled for. I should’ve just talked to you about it instead.”

“I think a lot of things could’ve been avoided if we had just talked about it but like I said… You can’t change the past,” he carefully grabs your chin to make you look at him. “Besides, we found our way back, right? We got a second chance at this, at us. Let’s make the best of it, yeah?”

A smile spreads across your face as you lean up and kiss him, the kiss soft yet deep and filled with the things you still haven’t said; apologies, I love you’s, promises and everything in between.

Taehyung sighs deeply against your lips, cupping your face, “I missed kissing you.”

You can’t help but grin against his mouth, “keep doing it then.”

“Oh, I’m planning on it,” he tells you, a squeal escaping you as he rolls over, trapping you beneath him. He dips down and kisses you again, this time with more force and eagerness.

That great love in life that everyone keeps talking about is really not worth much if it’s not with the right person. Taehyung used to believe that there was only one true love for everyone. Two years ago, he lost all belief in that. There was no point in looking for that great, true love because he already had it and he lost it. And even if there is more than one true love for everyone, he wouldn’t want it if it’s not you.

It seems his beliefs have been restored.

all rights reserved © mercurygguk, 2022. copying and/or reposting any of my work on any platform is NOT allowed. translations are NOT allowed.

#fic: iiny #taehyung #taehyung smut #kim taehyung #bts smut #bts taehyung #bts v #taehyung angst #taehyung fluff #bts fluff #bts angst #taehyung exes to lovers #bts bangtan #bangtan #bangtan sonyeondan #bangtan boys #bangtan family #kpop #kpop smut #smut #fluff #angst #taehyung x female reader #taehyung x reader #bts x reader #bts x female reader #kth #bts kth #bts fanfic #taehyung fanfic

[cyncerity]

HAPPY 3 YEARS TO THIS BLOG!! 🎉💕🫶

i’m so happy i’ve been a part of this little community for as long as i have. everyone is super nice and inspiring and unbelievably talented, and im so glad to be posting content with people like y’all.

it’s absurd to think i’ve been doing this for 3 years and that i almost have 800 people here seeing it, but the love and support i’ve received over these years has been incredible. given that this is such a small community and i’ve either spoken with most of you or have at the very least interacted with your content, i feel confident in saying that every single person here is incredible in their own right and truly are the reason i stay here. you guys are genuinely the best, even if i forget to answer your asks or sometimes leave you on read for a while (i do that with everyone i’m so sorry) i mean it when i say that i do consider a good portion of you my friends. even if it’s been a while since we messaged or talked, you’re all awesome. and if i don’t know you personally, please feel free to message me! i love making friends, especially in a community like this that has time and time again proven to have some of the genuinely nicest people on the internet <3

i love writing and drawing and i’m not leaving here for a long while yet. the asks i’ve received saying that i inspired people to write, draw, or post are some of the nicest things i’ve ever received, and i truly mean it from the bottom of my heart when i say that those have changed my life. the self confidence and love for my craft that i’ve gained from being here is immeasurable, and that’s thanks to all of you, whether you’ve been here for years or are new to this blog.

given that this is an anniversary thing, i wanna thank @bittydragon, @baka-monarch, @wendy130, @darkeninganon, and @awesome-slime-lover for introducing me to this community. i was stalking their blogs on google far before i had an account here, and i only made an account so i could send them fanart, so you have them to thank for dragging me here lmao

i also wanna tag @plant-gt-thought-box, @kayla-crazy-stuffs, @blurrybunnie, @apersonstories, @funtimemoth, @mysticalblue09, @corysmiles, @pixy-stix-art, + some others who are not on tumblr anymore for being friends with me and actually being some of the kindest and funniest motherfuckers. Ik i haven’t spoken to some of you in forever, and i hope this isn’t coming off as parasocial, but you guys are awesome and i wish you nothing but the best (and if you wanna message more or get on vc again some time please lmk cause i am a social wuss)

and if i’m gonna list people i might as well tag the people who even if i don’t know as well, are all super talented and leave me marveling at everything they post on here (whether or not you post mcyt g/t anymore, you’re all still incredible creators who make me want to improve my own work): @eyes-eye-eyes (my /p wife <3), @wren-writes68, @jkknight98, @arc852, @brick-a-doodle-do, @oh-i-need-a-name, @quotemenevervore, @melissa-s23, @i-am-beckyu, @random-tinies, @archaxwii, @itty-bitty-rainbow, @goosedawn, @beansthough, @make-a-memory, @aslitheryprinx, @avengerofsquids, @thatoneteadrinker666, @shushiyuii, @x-pair-o-dice-x, @jammanthejam, @trouble-off-grid, @lunar-but-little, @frickfrackiwastakingabath, @chequered-career, @bio-nerds-corner, @dingbatnix, @cottoncandythetrashpanda, @sprite-addicted-artist, @colossal-red, @sheena-yuet, @quackxolotl, @local-squishmallow, @nobodywritingao3, @deity-of-keys, @astraymetronome, @a-xyz-s, and tumblr has now told me that i’ve hit the max of 50 mentions so i will have to reblog this with the rest of you (crazy to think that there’s that many of y’all but i really do want to shout out everyone) (also if you’re one of these blogs that doesn’t post mcyt anymore and don’t want yourself associated with it, just lmk and i will remove your tag from my list, just know that your previous work in this community was admired and appreciated <3)

also can’t forget the anons and the followers that aren’t outwardly a part of this community (don’t have g/t blogs, don’t have mcyt blogs, or just don’t post in general). i’m lucky enough that i’ve never received hate from an anon before, everything you guys have ever sent is so nice and you also have great ideas! I am so sorry if it takes me forever to share those ideas publicly, but know that each of you are appreciated. and for my followers, i truly wouldn’t be anywhere without you guys, so thank you for supporting me <3

anyway, i might be getting over sentimental about all this, but 3 years is a long time, and over that time i’ve grown very attached to this little group of creators and i just wanted to let you know how loved and appreciated you are

💕💖🫶💕✨

#cyncerity #mcyt gt #mcyt g/t #if i SOMEHOW forgot you in the tags please note: #i will be reblogging later with more people #i have a list of people to add to the reblog hsksksksh #if i forget you on THAT it’s most likely not because i don’t know who you are but because i’m dumb 👍 #*and thought i added you #mcyt g/t community

[campgender]

i was scrolling your “life is in your home too” tag, which I love btw, and saw a post about how you learned to be a good dom from experienced expert doms by reading how they dom and some of their best scenes, do you think you could point me in the direction of some resources for me to study that too? thanks in advance, if not, thanks anyway!

(post referenced is here - link 1)

first of all tysm for this ask (+ your incredibly kind follow-up), it was a delight to receive + i’ve been wanting an excuse to talk about a lot of this for a while so i very much appreciate the interest!

as always please keep in mind that i am Just Some Fem, nothing is universal including when it comes to D/s & i can only speak to what works for me. i try to focus on starting points rather than specifics but ultimately my advice will always be limited by what i needed to hear & wasn’t told, which may not be what’s helpful for a different person. with that being said, here’s some suggestions!

i’ve posted a previous reading list (link 2) with relevant recs; particularly the practicality + sex writing sections have the kind of thing you’re looking for. specifically, The New Topping Book (2003) is a solid starting point; i definitely have my issues with it (haven’t read it recently enough to recall many specifics but i have the sense of general pervasive racism & ableism) but it did a good job at making me think & i appreciate the supportive tone they were going for

another book added to my tbr since then is Coming to Power (link 3), released by SAMOIS in 1983

other authors whose sex writing has been influential in my life: Sandra Cisneros, Natalie Diaz, Joan Nestle, Judy Grahn

the fic At The End of His Rope by Letterblade (link 4) is genuinely some of my favorite sex writing of all time & accomplishes the incredibly impressive feat of representing a broad array of dom styles & changes over time in the same piece

my “impurity culture” tag (link 5) houses the building blocks of my sexual ethic

i’ve found many of those foundations by poking around the incredible bodies of work original & archived @newsmutproject @woman-loving @gatheringbones

for me, studying sex is the same as studying poetry – reading for craft is a different process than for pleasure (not that there isn’t a great deal of pleasure to be found in such practice, especially for sadists – perhaps that’s why as a child i never resonated with Billy Collins’ “Introduction to Poetry,” like i love tying poems to chairs & beating them idk what to tell you). so, keeping in mind that these are suggestions not requirements, here’s how i read for + work on craft:

there is no such thing as too much journaling. this can take whatever form you prefer – voice memo, discord message to yourself, the noble notes app, your own personal sexy red string corkboard, a vast & stunning array of other approaches i can’t even begin to imagine. i personally have an elaborate web of spreadsheets & google docs lmao. what matters is developing a collection of ideas you want to play with + a practice of continually reflecting on past experiences.

pay attention to structure, not just content. find a scene you think is disjointed and pick at the seams, brainstorm better transitions. then find a scene that flows so smoothly it carries you with it and figure out what makes it work.

rewrite a scene you’re drawn to or affected by to suit your own preferences. i first did this when i couldn’t shake “Interlude 3” (link 6) from my head after reading The New Topping Book; you can read my variation on the theme here (link 7) if you’re interested.

write or think through a scene fantasy you have from negotiation to aftercare. obviously it’s very difficult if not impossible to fully script a scene in advance; the purpose isn’t planning something you’ll later do but rather getting used to coming up with ideas to get from one disparate moment / act to the next.

revisit a scene you’ve read, written, thought about, etc and list the physical & mental acts that are required / expected of the sub (eg, kneeling for 10 minutes; making eye contact; counting to 30, etc). then rework the scene for a sub who has the same interests & goals who cannot do 20% (or 50%, or any) of these acts.

revisit a previous scene and list the places where you think a sub might safeword & why. then rework it with the sub safewording somewhere that isn’t any of these places.

i also recommend keeping in mind that like… for me, reading about ethical sex can often be a very distressing process for the same reason that it’s liberating: because it proves that things i’ve experienced are not the way sex has to be. i’ll tell this story in its fullness one day but the first time i read S/HE by Minnie Bruce Pratt i literally had a flashback to events i’d repressed for years, it was devastating, i’m so grateful for it. hell, in the process of compiling resources for this post i cried twice editing this quote (link 8) because between reading that book the first time & now someone did “respond with scorn or ridicule” when i safeworded. so i would really encourage folks to approach this kind of work with as much grace & comfort for yourself as you can muster or borrow – if it’s really fucking hard, you’re not alone in that, & it’s okay to take your time + pace yourself + seek support.

your + others’ interest is definitely motivating me to actually write posts i’ve been tossing around for months so thank you again & feel free to keep an eye out for more shut-in sex tips in my new “tomorrow sexting will be good again” tag. would love to hear your thoughts on any of this post / these or other books / whatever really lol. wishing you all the best & i hope today is kind to you! 💓

#asks #D/s #reading lists #mac.txt #tomorrow sexting will be good again

[xthescarletbitch]

Hello, hello! I'm here to ask a very important question:

What do you think Aloy would be like as a romantic partner? As a wife? My personal headcanons are that she'd be:

-super caring and kind

-would be genuinely curious about your interests and would love talking with you about any and everything

-shes pretty blunt and sarcastic but I feel like it'd be pretty endearing. Like she'd sass anyone who was giving you trouble or just being a nuisance to general

-compassionate and sympathetic. Would definitely hold you and listen intently if you had a bad day

That's all I got so far (I'm still gonna write that college au fic, so this was a great writing exercise, lol).

that is a very important question… one i’ve been thinking a lot about, actually. i love what you put, and i am in agreement! i’ll also be looking forward to that au. i need more aloy fics. 👀

here are just a few that i’ve thought up while playing. i hope you enjoy! 🥰

✦ aloy loves to give gifts: she knows it isn’t easy for you to sit idly by while she’s out there saving the world, so she wants you to know that you’re not out of her mind completely. she’ll stumble upon something beautiful enough that reminds her so much of you, to the point where she has to grab it and tuck it away to bring it to you later. occasionally, it’ll be an old-world item that she thinks you’ll get a kick out of. i also do not think she’s opposed to just gifting you old-world jewellery like an old-world custom. whatever it is, she finds joy in the smile that comes across your face each time she returns to you with her arms full (the joy also applies when she’s empty-handed, of course… you just missed her).

✦ aloy loves to plan dates: now, this was an idea i had after securing poseidon, but i think she would love to take you out on dates after she’s ensured the location was safe first. the date may be anything from watching the stars on a secluded mountaintop (around base, for example) to a romantic walk through a settlement to the spectacular light show in las vegas—it doesn’t matter. she just wants to be close to you and enjoy that quality time with you before she has to continue on her journey. since she sees so much more than you, i feel that her ability to plan dates is top-tier. she knows all the best sights (and how to secure them if needed).

✦ aloy is big on physical affection: poor baby is always out there risking her life for the world and craves the feeling of her love embracing her. whenever she is finally around you, she never wants to let go or be let go. she makes sure to plan her time around the many hours of cuddling she’ll need before returning to the wilds. it’s a time of catching up on all the physical affection she’s missed while she’s been gone that she knows you’ve been craving, too. she also loves to give and receive as many kisses as possible while there. the others may joke around, acting disgusted, but she doesn’t care. she’s earned it.

✦ aloy loves to give and receive praise: you’re absolutely the first person she’d call on the focus once she accomplishes something. she does it to keep you in the loop and to hear just how excited and happy you are for her. the way you praise her makes her feel so warm and loved. sure, appreciation from others is nice, but it’s so different coming from you. it feels so much more meaningful than you could ever imagine. something as simple as a “i knew you could do it” motivates her to keep going. it’s not an easy journey she’s on and your support is everything. on the other hand, she’ll also dish out the praise right back. if you’ve made moves at the base that has furthered progress, aloy will be so happy for you and ensure that you know just how proud she is of you. while it is a team effort, she is just highly supportive of you and all that you do!

✦ aloy would be protective over you: you’ve fared pretty well in the wilds and have proven that you can defend yourself, but aloy would prefer that you stay safely at the base. she knows that the west is a whole new world with even tougher machines and would sleep much better on her travels knowing that you were somewhere secure (like the base). she also likes knowing she can “go home” to you whenever she wants. sometimes, she’ll walk or ride the extra mile just to be with you for the night. she’s also protective in the sense that if anybody messes with you, she will say something. this is where i’d agree with your sass because those hands are absolutely going on her hips as she handles the situation for you. that’s not to say that she thinks you can’t handle yourself, but nobody messes with her love. even if it’s somebody else close to her, like erend or varl, she’s taking your side 100%. after the conversation, she’ll pull you close and kiss your forehead to ensure you’re okay before continuing with other matters.

✦ aloy would call you every night: this girl cannot fall asleep without talking to you. if there are times when she can’t get back to the base and has to shelter elsewhere, she has to call you to make sure you and everything else is okay. not only that, but it’s an excuse to hear your voice again. it brings her a lot of comfort to get even a little interaction with you. it would become a sort of ritual where you both would talk every night before sleep, telling each other about your day until you fall asleep (still on the call). it makes her feel closer to you, even miles away. it also makes the whole distance thing feel more manageable to deal with. there are nights where you just stay up talking to each other about random things and pretending you are right there next to each other, but you both know you’ll see each other in person again soon… it just can’t come fast enough.

#aloy x reader #horizon zero dawn x reader #horizon forbidden west x reader #hfw fanfic #hzd fanfic #horizon #aloy #aloy despite the nora #aloy sobeck #horizon zero dawn #hzd #horizon forbidden west #hfw #aloy horizon #aloy horizon zero dawn #aloy horizon forbidden west #aloy hzd #aloy hfw #horizon aloy #horizon zero dawn aloy #horizon forbidden west aloy #hzd aloy #hfw aloy #my writing #asks

[tmnt-reticent]

HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY TO RETICENT‼️‼️

All the sillies whqidhqkdhkd I love them all sm!!!

I think I said everything I could really say in the end notes for Chapter 10 (which is out right now, go read it if you haven’t yet), but once again: Thank you all for supporting Reticent over the past year, whether you’ve only just found out about it or have been here since the beginning. I appreciate every single bit of support I’ve gotten from the bottom of my heart. Especially all the comments on the fic and the fanart I’ve received, I look at it all from time to time whenever I’m down. I’ve never been this motivated for a project before and honestly I owe it all to you guys. Thank you again.

I was just going to post this piece for it since I wasn’t exactly sure what else to do but I thought they all deserved fancy outfits so!!!

I wanted all the anniversary art to be Season 1 compliant but maybe I can draw smth cute with Leo and Donnie soon! (Maybe even write a pre-Reticent fluff piece if I’m feeling nice)

I hope you all have a lovely rest of your Neil banging out the tunes day and here’s to another year of Reticent‼️‼️‼️💖💖💖🫶🫶🫶🌸🌸🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂‼️‼️‼️

P.S that last Ret Leo drawing is the best I’ve drawn him in months idk how I managed to draw his face for once it’s a genuine mystery bdsjgdjwgdj the only thing I can think of is that the art gods have allowed me to draw him well today as a little treat since they haven’t let me draw him well since the day I made him GCJSBXKBSNC

#tmnt fan iteration #teenage mutant ninja turtles iteration #tmnt iteration #tmnt #reticent #tmnt reticent #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt fanart #teenage mutant ninja turtles fanart #tmnt leo #tmnt leonardo #reticent!leo #tmnt donnie #tmnt donatello #reticent!donnie #tmnt mikey #tmnt michelangelo #reticent!mikey #tmnt raph #tmnt raphael #reticent!raph #tmnt casey #tmnt casey jones #reticent!casey #tmnt april o'neil #tmnt april #reticent!april

[hariboz]

this is gonna be a very sappy post so tldr: i love ollie i love my son i could not be happier than i am right now knowing he got first place

i’m so happy and so incredibly proud that ollie got first, he truly, truly, truly deserves it and i cannot wait to see him actually get to debut, perform and do all the things he has been dreaming of and working towards for years. i’ve been with him, voting for him, keeping up with him, promoting him ever since he was first introduced in boys planet; and while i think he was gravely overlooked and cast aside during bp, i’m also glad he could grow and learn from this experience to show a completely new side of himself through asy. i’m so grateful and glad he could improve and be happier with himself, prouder of his performances, and that he could stand there proudly when receiving the praise, encouragement and attention he never got during bp. ollie deserves nothing but the best, he’s so incredibly talented and hardworking, humble and so sweet. i cannot wait for him to live what he has been working for so long.

i’m so grateful i could watch him grow so much, and i’ll be with ollie for as long as he wants to pursue this dream. whatever he decides to do, i will support him because i genuinely think he’s made to be on stage. i’m so happy for him, and i hope he comes to realise that he does deserve this, that he deserves to be so loved and appreciated.

#maise x asy ! #my son made it and i don’t think i have ever been so happy #this makes me genuinely so happy i’m so incredibly glad he gets to be first and do this #and i’m so glad that i could help #even though it wasn’t that much i still helped & got him votes so i would like to think i contributed to his win

[rafesgoldrings]

Welcome to the 1k Celebration🍾

I never thought when creating this blog that I’d get even 100 followers, let alone 1,000. Thank you for all of your continued support and love. I am grateful to each and every single one of you that have clicked follow or sent me a request or even just liked something I posted, you mean the world to me. I am genuinely so blown away by all the massive love i’ve received, and all the many new friendships that have been created that i’ll forever be thankful for that. Thank you to all of you that have ever trusted me enough to send me a request, it truly means to much to me🫶🏻 Feel free to send as many in as you want!

I want to try and show my appreciation by hosting a small celebration running from June 16th at 9PM EST to June 19th (submissions close at 12AM EST). I look forward to seeing you all, wear your best outfit my darlings😉

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬: Rafe Cameron, JJ Maybank, Topper Thornton, Pope Heyward, Kelce obx, Kiara Carrera, Sarah Cameron, John B, Ward Cameron (😌)

𝐕𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐨 𝐆𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬: tumblr games (fmk, would you rather, cast your mutuals etc/ not exclusive to the characters listed)

𝐀𝐫𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐨: send me a character and concept/trope and i’ll make a mood board!

𝐋𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞: send me a song of your choice (cough bonus points if it’s a lana song cough) or something from these prompt lists (here and here) and i’ll write you a nsfw blurb

𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐬 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐲 𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐛: send me a random concept or headcanon about the above characters and let’s discuss it

𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦: send me a bit about yourself and i’ll give you a character I feel you’re compatible with and a song (from the available list of characters above)

Tagging some of my mutuals that have made this whole experience so so rewarding and who I absolutely look up to. I love and adore each of you🫶🏻 (please forgive if I’ve missed any, I tried to get everyone that I could think of right away)

@sweetestdesire @proactivetypaperson @outerbankspov @congratsloserr @luvagirlsworld @dreamingwithrafe @maybankslover @xyzstar @lcvelylies @jjasen @madelynie

#1k celebration

[waxingrunes]

I’ve sent you one or two messages now and you never reply :(

Anon, I’m sorry. I try to reply to most of my messages, but if I don’t it’s either because I haven’t gotten round to it or I don’t have a response. I get a lot of compliments in my inbox which is fucking amazing and makes me flush with warmth, but I’ve said before I don’t always know how to respond to them and don’t want to post continuous, ‘thank you, thank you, thank you!’ because I fear it’ll come off disingenuous and mundane in response. When in reality, I want to kiss you all. So if it’s been a couple of those you’ve sent and I haven’t picked up that’ll be why, but please know I always see and appreciate every, last, comment.

I’ve never received something that I haven’t liked, so don’t worry that you’ve offended me (a difficult task, I’m too low maintenance and relaxed).

I’m also not always on tumblr every day or check my messages every day. My life is relatively busy as of late and sometimes I’m genuinely too wiped to interact beyond a bit of scrolling.

Sorry for the excessive answer, I just really don’t want you or anyone else thinking I’m ignoring them or disregarding their comments. I’m a small account and I appreciate every bit of support and love I get, please don’t be discouraged from messaging me any of your little thoughts, musings or questions.

#i could’ve answered this in one paragraph #if you made it to the end you get a star #ask

[chainofclovers]

Ted Lasso 3x7 Thoughts

Having only five episodes of this television show left is…something. I have a lot of feelings about Ted Lasso and this team he’s “borrowing for a while.” 

These thoughts are kind of a jumble!

Common thread: good relationship advice, a dream I’ve been dreaming about since s2 contained so much bad dating advice (or, more importantly, people who didn’t want to give their opinions on relationships because they didn’t want the responsibility of meddling). I’ve been certain that as the characters start to wind their way back to each other, the questions people ask about themselves and each other will get more honest, and the answers they receive in response will be more open, too. It’s actually pretty thrilling to see that happening. It feels like the closest thing to a single string (ba-dum tss!) running throughout this season, and I love it.

I’ve liked the Nate and Jade stuff a lot more than I expected to. Getting to see more of Nate’s family was such a delight, and I love that even if the whole family is kind of navigating around Nate’s dad’s ire, there’s so much love in the house and Nate gets some genuine support. And some good advice: you have to ask for things, and you have to do it with the full awareness that it might not work out. I’m so glad Nate got to see the map his father designed for his mother in all its grandeur. And I’m so glad his own attempt at replicating the grandeur got destroyed by a vehicle, freeing him up to rely on himself simply asking the question. 

It also did my heart good to catch the tail-end of Rebecca recapping Amsterdam for Keeley, and to see Rebecca sharing her fears about Jack. It was really something—she actually shares her concerns straightforwardly, and makes it clear that she isn’t saying Keeley’s new girlfriend is like her abusive ex-husband, but that Keeley has an opportunity to keep her eyes open and respond to what she sees. I also loved that Rebecca makes it clear that she isn’t jealous of Jack and is happy for Keeley, even as she’s also got concerns and of course has experienced some significant lonely moments as a result of Keeley being wrapped up in Jack. I dunno, it all feels realistically complex but also realistically drama-avoidant, and it felt like major growth for Rebecca. And it comes right off of Keeley pointing out the growth Rebecca exhibited in not sleeping with Boat Guy even if she might’ve liked the opportunity to! 

I was also very relieved to get a return to Beard and Ted at the pub! I missed them sitting and drinking their beers together! I did not really buy that Ted thought Jane might be hinting at marriage, but if he was joking, I think he needed to be more joke-y. Alas, I think that line was in there to get them to the pegging conversation, which was in there to get them to the pegging-marriage comparison joke. It admittedly paid off, but I think Phoebe Walsh and team could’ve found a smoother transition to the pegging discussion.

Very into Simi and Sam and very into Sam figuring out his wording and positioning with the racist home secretary on his own, albeit with Simi’s influence. I appreciated his anger and sadness in the locker room so much, and his father being there just in time for Sam to be able to hug him and cry on him was such a balm. I looooove that Ola really leans into the whole thing about visiting dads being allowed to be very awkward and make things uncomfortable, whether talking to the ex or the new love interest. I love that Ola knows about Sam and Rebecca and almost certainly has opinions but was also able to laugh about the whole thing with his son. Because, you know. Everyone is fine. It’s okay. And there are much bigger concerns, like the vandalism of the restaurant. When the team is there helping and Ola sees the sign light up as the first reveal that the restaurant is named for him…ahhhhhhhhh. It all made me wonder if Sam intentionally downplayed some of the presumably-notable London media coverage of the restaurant opening specifically so he could have that surprise moment with his dad. And when the restaurant was damaged, he felt like that moment couldn’t take place the way he wanted, but then it turned into something even better than he could’ve imagined—an opportunity to bring his dad into his community and team (his home in London, all working together to repair the place he created so that Nigerian people missing home could feel a connection to Nigeria!) and cook with Simi and his father.

In keeping with the pattern of trending-up experiences with good pals (and sisters, and best friends) talking about relationships of all sorts, I love that Total Football became a very literal (and very fun to watch) reflection on space and energy and interplay, the relations between people. I LOVED that each of the coaches takes their own role in explaining the what and why of Total Football. I was a little afraid that Ted was passing it off to Beard because he was scared that he didn’t actually understand the tactic well enough, but that wasn’t the case at all—all three primary coaches were fully engaged. And then Trent’s got the spirit, with some absurdly meta commentary! And then Jamie is the one who really cracks the code, which I absolutely adored. (Side note: how adorable was it that they all brought back the signal and flipped him off.) (Side note 2: they really said “we hear a lot of y’all are extremely into this red string of fate thing” and turned it into a dick joke! And Roy didn’t fully understand that this tactic was a one-time-only situation!) 

Speaking of things I absolutely adored, the whole rom-com montage motif throughout, with storefronts opening and flowers and the promise of an early morning…..YES. And I’m forever obsessed with Roy and Jamie being folded into the quaintness of that as, briefly, just two quirky extras giving the neighborhood some flavor. The string that binds jogging Jamie to Roy on his bike! Ahhhh!

I feel like there was more. These episodes contain so much. But I have got to go to sleep, and I feel happy to be able to do that while feeling generally very glad about that entire episode. I can think of a couple characters who should talk to each other more. (More than a couple, in fact!) But I loved the sense of progress and purpose to this episode, and I feel like things this season have generally been really beautifully paced, so for the most part I’m happy.

#ted lasso #ted lasso s3 spoilers #meta by me #ted lasso meta #ted lasso 3x7 #hot dork club #also ted and rebecca both wore red shirts in this episode :) :) :) #ooh and i loved the stuff happening with the pub guys + more fans watching training! #and will kitman - shoutout to that dude for a great beard impersonation

[honeybcj]

heyo! while i was never an anon i did immensely enjoy all your replies to them (and the anons as well ofc)

but im sorry that u had shitty ppl in ur inboxes (from what ive understood in ur reasoning for why ur turning off anons), it frustrates me to no end how dehumanizing the online experience can be, and the awful ways ppl think they can act when theyre “anonymous” (bc tumblr obviously knows- side thought id love if future jobs would be able to pull up d-threat msgs and stuff bc while nsfw stuff isnt anything companies should be concerned abt, i think life threats and otherwise should be! end thought)

i hope that ur inboxes clear up of that negativity (if that’s what it was, or rly whatever it was that caused this action, i hope they leave u alone), and that u can take some time for urself to just remind ur self that UR AMAZING!

ppl fucking suck sometimes. but know that you are an INCREDIBLE writer (genuinely captivated anytime i scroll by ur posts- i have to stop and read), and LOVELY from the sounds of everything!!

as well, if it were bc of like grossly inappropriate stuff that would be socially frowned upon, then ppl need to have a mandatory class in fucking elementary school abt boundaries and the extent to which certain thoughts are to be shared to the masses.

anyways, i send love, hugs, and positivity your way<3

it’s evening where i am so im sending off with a goodnight, or good afternoon, or good morning depending on when u get this!

i hope the fun anons who inspire ur microfic moments send u more ideas:)

hi lovie <3 you have no idea how much this means to me. (i did see your other ask before responding to this one, but i still wanted to be able to thank you and give a little extra clarity on the situation). yes, the other day i did receive an anonymous ask telling me to kill myself for supporting trans people and giving characters trans hcs.

i know i don’t have to explain myself to a single person, but i do want to say that i have worked immensely hard to get to the point where i am mentally and i’ve overcome multiple obstacles in my life that deteriorated my mental health. to have a message like that come through, it really hurt me. i didn’t want to allow myself to slide back into old habits, so i simply turned my anons off for the time being. i’m hoping this will come to a close soon, but i wanted to be upfront and honest about what has been going on.

i appreciate your support and kindness more than anything. it means the absolute world to me to know that there are people that are genuinely kind souls with the best intentions. i’ve been immensely fortunate for the interactions i’ve had on here, and i hate that one comment has ruined to fun and joy for some people, myself included.

one day, i do hope to turn anons back on, but for now, they remain off. giving you a big ole kiss for being such a sweetheart. again, i appreciate you so very much. thank you kindly for you generous words and sweet soul. i hope that you have a great rest of your day/evening. you deserve it <3

#han’s asks #loaf tag

[trippedandfell]

[ID:  a poorly-drawn comic sans graphic reading “happy fic writers appreciation day”]

i might be awful at making graphics but I just have. so much love to give to this fandom and fic writers today!! not to get too emotional on main but this is the first fandom i’ve truly been a part of in nearly a decade and the support and love i’ve received (case in point - all of the lovely posts I’ve been tagged in today!) is just. unmatched. i’m very grateful for y’all for not only writing such amazing things, but being supportive of my silly little stories as well.

with that in mind, a few things about some of my fandom favourites:

you’re my whole house by @henswilsons

there are so many of mia’s fics that i could have included (LAFD updates man, the babysitter au) but this one holds the most special place in my heart. the way that mia subtly weaves the love language storyline with firefam shenanigans and a delicious PTA plotline is just… unmatched. genuinely the blueprint for how i approach writing fics as a whole.

the wood marked for your fire by @hattalove

assume i’m always thinking about the calendar scene. just. the best in domestic buddie and buck struggling to figure out how to be a dad is delicious. and the ending?? with the duck?? oh yeah okay I’m losing it. kris is such a gift to this fandom in so many ways, but this one in particular has always been a standout to me. 

i just wanna tell you how i’m feeling by @gayravi

everything chelsea writes is an automatic win in my book, but this one is just so fucking funny that it deserves a special shoutout. eddie coming out to his family via a shitty group chat meme just makes me holler every single time, and then the fact that chelsea punches you in the stomach with feels right after??? talented, incredible, brilliant, etc. 

when i was shipwrecked (I thought of you) by @gayeddiaz

one of the first fics i ever read in this fandom and one of the most special ones to me still. i distinctly remember sobbing my entire way through the cliffside rescue scene, and when buck drops that “baby” in there, my heart literally splintered into a thousand pieces and died. and everything else??? the eddie and maddie bestieism? the nuanced portrayal of the diaz parents? everything to me. 

my certainty is wild, weaving by @henwilsonmd

divorced buddie era my beloved and so so so well executed. probably is my favourite post 5a fic of all time, and the voice memo!! the voice memo!!! sobbed my way through the entire thing and then immediately reread it and sobbed again. one of the best fics capturing eddie’s messy headspace after quitting imho.

there are so so many others i could include but in the interest in not taking over everyone else’s dash i’ll just tag @clusterbuck @fallingthorns @eddiediazes​ @thatbuddie @hoediaz @capseycartwright @queerpanikkar @evandiaz @sibylsleaves​ and omg i’m probably forgetting so many people my sincerest apologies <333

anyways. i’m way behind on reading fic so i’m off to go leave a bunch of comments xoxo i love you all

#mwah!! i slept in today and woke up to so much love on the dash #fic rec #i know i'm forgetting people for sure and i'm so so sorry if i forgot you but here's just a lil snippet of my favs!! #cole.txt

[jalboyhenthusiast]

happy birthday s ✨💗✨💗✨💗✨!!!! this is the third birthday message i’ve sent you since we met which is like... incredibly wild to think about. time sure does pass! and i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: i am so glad fate’s hand had us both decide to start our silly little one direction blogs within a day of each other one fine pandemic day! the universe knew we would need a little buddy to both complain with and have fun with in equal measure! i feel like i’ve found a true friend in you, beyond just silly fandom shenanigans, true actual friendship. i’m so lucky to have met you and your friendship has meant so much to me these past few years. you’re such a uniquely wonderful person- so caring and supportive, can never fail to make me laugh and impress me with how clever and quick witted you are, and incredibly smart, emotionally intelligent, and perceptive. i love the way you view the world and i regularly want to steal your brain. i endlessly admire your tenacity, resilience, strength, and authenticity. even when i felt like i couldn’t talk to anyone about something, i always knew i could talk to you and i’ve appreciated that immensely + i hope i have been that for you as well. our friendship was built on the foundation of our shared unpopular opinions lmao and it’s been a true gift having someone to bounce thoughts off of in that way without judgement or insecurity, but it’s grown into so much more than that. you’re an endlessly comforting and warm presence in my life. may your year be filled with like a thousand cats! you deserve it! and beyond that (obviously) most important criteria of a good year, i hope this year is incredibly fulfilling for you and filled to the brim with wonderful new memories. i love youuuuuuu

oh kay i genuinely don’t know what to say 🥺 this is without a doubt one of the sweetest messages ive ever received in my life. you are truly one of the nicest humans ive ever had the absolutely pleasure of crossing paths with and i feel so so grateful to know you ❤️ it’s the way we just GET each other <3 thank you thank you forever for your sweet words and genuine friendship. love you so much ❤️

#why are you always so good with words 😭 and im just like *word vomit* #and i’m still CRYING at your present 😭 #ask #holyshit #kay 👯‍♀️❤️

[aeucerys]

Hey I'm really sorry about the comment section of Closer and really just the anon hate and general discourse in this fandom that authors and creators are subjected to. I hope it doesn't discourage you from writing Lucemond or your craft in general but it's understandable otherwise. Though for every hater, there are tens of Lucemonders who have your back in any case 🗡. Take care of yourself ❤❤

thank you for reaching out, first and foremost <33 it means a lot especially considering i’ve been feeling kind of,,,, alone in the fandom for the last couple of days. i’ve always preferred to just post my works and go, so that is an extension of this, i think, so i’m not complaining about it.

the fandom and anon discourse is genuinely tiring. i really can’t find any other words to phrase it. to be perfectly honest, no matter how a content creator in any fandom tries to see the full side of the glass, such discourse of course affects the person receiving negative comments, and i’m no exception, to answer the matter about whether i’ll be discouraged to writing or not.

i don’t know if i feel like for every other hater i have tens of lucemonds who support me,,,, don’t get me wrong, i do am extremely grateful and appreciative of the support i have gotten so far, that’s not my point at all, but i think it’s just the inherent concept of anything bad you recieve feels tenfold of it, and shadows the other good things you recieve.

the thing is, this is not my first fandom, i’ve been in a quite a large fandom before this, and i also had my share of readers there, so for such a large fandom, i was bound to recieve negative comments. but for those, i deleted and moved on. this fandom feels surprisingly more toxic at that considering it’s a smaller fandom compared to my previous one,, but anyway, i have recieved anon hate in this fandom, but this time i opted for not deleting it and answering it because i have got nothing to hide, end of discussion— yet it starts to feel like those two options are not very different from each other at end of the day, and the hate is hate and it affects you in one way or another.

so, to sum, i don’t know about whether to write for this fandom in the future right now. the definitive thing i can say is i definitely love the ship, though, that’s certain. that’s peak yaoi right there 🫰

aaaand take care of yourself, as well. mwah mwah mwaaah 💕💗💗

#asks

[solomons-finest-rum]

Sooo just found out tumblr has been fucking with me and not showing my posts in the tags and i cant fucking have that bc i neeeed u to know how much i adore your writing and how much i loved the 2nd part to the noir. This may be silly but when i really enjoy smth i really need everyone to know about it especially the creator. So here’s the post that tumblr hid away:

Absolutely in looooove! Definitely worth the wait, a really great follow up to the first chapter! Soulmate AUs are some of my favorite tropes, if not the most favorite, and its so well executed in your story. I adore reader and alfie’s dynamic, its genuinely written so well that i fell in love with it in the first chapter when they barely even interacted! You know how fucking good u need to be to pull that off??? Youre really one of the best writers i’ve ever come across and i cant wait to read more of your stuff💛💛💛💛

Hope you dont find this annoying, i just think when someone creates things as great as you do the support needs to be loud and vocal.

Hi Love, indeed this is so strange - I didn't see any messages from you or even this message in my inbox on the app! I only saw this now once I logged in on my pc 😮 I do think maybe you should reach out to the staff and ask them to look into this via support links? Perhaps you were shadowbanned for some reason? I know it happened randomly a while ago to two of my moots 💔💔💔

But in any case, I so appreciate you doing everything you can to reach out to me 💗💗💗💗💗 every feedback I receive about my writing is so valuable (especially with how some Tumblr users treat this platform like instagram and just leave likes which tell me absolutely nothing 😭)

This comment is everything, truly!!!!!!!! I'm serious when I say I'll be re-reading it all day to hype myself up for the next Alfie story I'm trying to finish (and as always the man is doing exactly nothing to make writing him any easier, sheesh...)

Thank you so so so much for writing this to me, it made my day! 💗💗💗💗💗

(and if someone here just stumbled across this post and is wondering what the hell are we even on about, here's the link hah)

#ask #once again #I'm just #so grateful for all my readers #alfie solomons x reader

[cipheress-to-k-pop]

hello love!!! congrats on 2k followers, what a huge accomplishment!! ✨ for the letter, could i please request a romantic one from Sokka? my name is noelle & i use she/her pronouns! lately i’ve been feeling like no place really feels safe to me or like home, and i can never feel at peace anywhere. i‘ve also really been struggling with body image and how i look/trying to lose weight (i’m overweight) so uhh yeah thank you so much and congratulations again! :))

Thank you darling!

Dear Noelle,

Katara and I have arrived safely to the Fire Nation Capital and by the time you receive this letter, my work here will hopefully be done with. And it cannot come soon enough because I miss you so so so very very much. I miss you to Yue the moon and back. Katara keeps telling me not to keep mentioning my ex-girlfriend around you but I don't think I have to let go of my past to create a future with you. Do I?

I'm sorry to hear that you've been feeling homesick (I guess you could call it that but I'm sure that's not the right term for what you're feeling like). Must be because I'm not home right? I know, I know you miss me, I miss you too.

Jokes aside, I genuinely do feel bad that I can't be by your side to comfort you when you're feeling this way. I wish there was something I could do other than provide my words.

You know I love you right? I love you for what you look like, for what you are, for every fiber of your being. I love what you look like and I love your body because it's yours so you can imagine how hurt I am that you don't see your own beauty.

I love you for who you are and I love what you look like. If you want to lose weight then I'm going to support you no matter what and appreciate all the efforts you have put in to try and change but please don't feel like you have to just to please other people. But if this is something you want to do for yourself, know that I'm going to be extremely supportive of you.

Either way, I just want you to know that I love you so very very much and I hope that you will be able to find confidence in yourself. Until you can, I will continue to try my hardest to make you feel like the most beautiful girl in the world.

I love you, Noelle.

I'll be home soon.

Sokka

#2k event #sokka x reader

[bookaddict24-7]

REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!

Books I’ve read so far in 2022!

Friend me on Goodreads here to follow my more up to date reading journey for the year!

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217. Blood Like Fate by Liselle Sambury--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I received a copy from the publisher. This did not affect my rating in any way. I was curious about how this book would go because I will admit that I was a little overwhelmed by the first book. I just remember thinking that there was a lot going on and that the story could use a little trimming. BUT. Although it took me a little bit to get into this one because it had been a while since I'd read the first book, I grew to really appreciate where Sambury took this book. There were some instances where I wanted to punch some characters in the face because that good old empathy for the MC was coming in hot, but I, like her, grew to understand the MC's personal growth and how she was viewed by the other characters affected by her actions and decisions. I think that this is a really good portrayal of what it might look like when someone so young is given so much unwanted responsibility. Also, how it looks when that wariness for said responsibility is constantly being reinforced by the adults around the young person. Instead of offering support, judgment was the MC's keeper. Although, in retrospect, she DID make some very bad choices in book one and this book was essentially a "you reap what you sow" type of situation. There were also some really sad twists in this that took me by surprise and genuinely had me with my jaw dropping. This was a great conclusion to this duology because we DID get some conclusions to the multiple storylines introduced to the first book. I did think the climax of the story was a little too soft and there were definitely things that could have been trimmed down, but to be honest, for a debut? This was pretty impressive and a big story to write. I'd recommend this duology to anyone who loves a fantasy set in Toronto, and for anyone who likes seeing some serious character growth!

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218. A Proposal They Can’t Refuse by Natalie Caña--⭐️⭐️⭐️.5

This popped up on my radar earlier this year and I was immediately intrigued, especially because it is Latine rep! Plus, enemies to lovers childhood friends? Yes, please. AND fake relationships?! Extra yes, please!! I listened to this one during an overnight I had to do for work and it went by incredibly quickly. It was interesting and pulled me in right from the beginning, although I could see where it was going from the moment a hint of the final climactic situation popped up. While I loved the rep in this and the Spanish (so glad the voice narrator did justice to the Spanish accents), I was immediately reminded of this post I saw once where you could tell the difference between a book written with the white reader's gaze in mind and not necessarily with the Latine reader's gaze. This book explained every single instance where Spanish or Spanish food was introduced. I'm talking a translating sentence for every Spanish one spoken. I absolutely disliked that because it felt so...redundant for me and I can only imagine that it might also feel redundant for others who speak Spanish. I get why it's done, but also...let people translate sentences themselves because doing so every time is jarring and immediately pulled me out of the story. Anyway, 3.5 for the story and angst and enemies to lovers, but not higher because the translating and white-explaining of everything was annoying.

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219. Because of Low by Abbi Glines--⭐️⭐️

RE-READ August 2022 This book was so cringe. I updated my rating. This had the whole "Innocent girl is sexy" thing and it kind of creeped me out tbh. Especially when the female MC asked the love interest what he was doing and he said that he was watching her sleep and she said something along the lines of, "He was always so sweet to me." I just remember stopping and laughing because wtf. Anyway, yeah, this was no bueno and just eh. So much worse than the first book tbh. But I also get that this was a regular theme and trope in the early 2010s when it came to new adult romance--where the beautiful, white (usually blonde or redhead) was put on a pedestal because she's this symbol of beautiful purity that didn't know she was beautiful until the hot (usually rich) white dude came in and saved her. Which, in retrospect is a trope in another book of Glines' that I love but you know, I am willing to turn a blind eye sometimes when the book drama is too yummy to look away from. But this was dull and just, *shrug*. Anyway, yay. Throwback. LOL. Also, I read this for the first time NINE years ago. Wow, my mentality has hella changed, which begs the question: How will readers the same age as I was the year I read this think of their current obsessions with romances involving borderline psychotic or stalkerish love interests?

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220. Hot for Teacher by Whitley Cox--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I read this on vacation so I will just do a bullet point type of review based on my notes: 1. Loved the mother/daughter relationship 2. Loved that they both respected the mother/daughter relationship (the female MC and the love interest) 3. Loved the anticipation of the spice and the drama. 4. Didn't love how wishy-washy the female MC was, even though I understand her situation. 5. The perfect start to a series that I now really want to continue! I'd recommend this for anyone who wants a 3.5/5 spice level romance between a widowed young mother and a nerdy but surprisingly sexy teacher who was once the female MC's very young teacher in high school. Also, if you love dual perspective narratives!

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221. The Sweetest Oblivion by Danielle Lori--⭐️⭐️⭐️

I get the appeal of this but...it wasn't my favourite. I read this on vacation, so I will do a bullet form type of review from my notes: 1. Mob romances are always intriguing to me because the romance is a different but enticing level of dark. The kind you would never want for yourself, but you find spicy because of the separation of fiction and real life. 2. The male MC had a great character arc. I think he changed and grew a lot more than the female MC. 3. The female MC was a bit stagnant--she was the classic "great and innocent beauty...or is she?" trope. And I am still on the fence how I feel about that trope. Sometimes I love it, but usually I find it annoying. 4. This had a miscommunication trope as the main conflict and I hated that so much. 5. This book felt like it would never end. It felt so LONG and sorry, but also kind of boring. 6. This was a lot more of a slowburn than I thought it would be--which I normally love, but I found it boring in this instance. 7. There WAS some good spice in this, but not as much as I was expecting. I don't think I'm going to be reading the next book. I don't know if this author is for me.

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222. Blind Side by Kandi Steiner--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I read this on vacation, so here is a simple review: 1. Loved the fake dating trope. 2. The spice was incredible. 3. Love that the female MC was a romance lover because the tropes were met with the irony (like the moment where a guy mentioned that she was "not like other girls" and she cringed because she hated that trope.) 4. Ran a little long in some instances, but then we didn't get to see some scenes that I would have loved to see. Main reason for the lost star in the rating is because we were told of these scenes rather than shown them. 5. Not my favourite sports romance, but it was overall enjoyable and I would definitely recommend it. Especially if you love fake dating, friends to lovers, and very very spicy moments.

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Have you read any of these? Would you recommend them?

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Happy reading!

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