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viperwhispered · 19 days

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Too Hard

Woop part 2 of the trip inside Jamil's head. Part 1 here.

The next time Jamil caught sight of you on campus, his first instinct was to turn around on his heel.

What a stupid thought to have because of you.

Besides, that would only make him more conspicuous, not less.

So, when your eyes met his, Jamil gave you a short nod in greeting. He would’ve left it at that and kept on his way, had you not walked up to him.

“Hi Jamil! How’s it going?” you said with that impossibly disarming smile of yours.

Why was it so difficult to look at you like he normally would? You had no right to make him feel so stiff, so unnatural.

On autopilot, Jamil exchanged a few pleasantries with you - those lessons from his parents had been instilled too deep in him for him to falter too badly in a simple exchange such as this. Still, Jamil quickly excused himself by telling you he still had to find Kalim before his next class.

Jamil didn’t miss the way your smile faltered. Had you hoped to get something out of him?

“Oh, okay. I’ll see you two later, then.”

Something about that irked him, though Jamil did not allow himself to dwell on it further.

His heart really had no business still racing as it did when he walked away, unaware of the frown on his face.

Just act normal. That’s all he needed to do.

After all, he had no time for dwelling in silly fancies.

If Jamil had been acutely aware of you before, it only seemed to worsen now that he was making a conscious effort to not act any differently with you. In fact, the harder he tried to keep you out, the more you invaded his thoughts, unsettling him.

The most innocuous words from you looped in his mind, and even the simplest actions caught his eye. For goodness's sake, he’d found himself staring at you while you were queueing up in the cafeteria the other day, not even doing anything other than standing around and looking bored!

For once, Jamil found himself grateful for all his duties. At least they provided him with something else to occupy himself with.

After all, if he was busy enough, it was difficult to think about those bright eyes of yours, your sweet laugh, or the way you bit your lip while thinking.

Still, sometimes it felt like no matter which way he turned, you were there, ready to throw him off-kilter. Not like it was his fault that often the most convenient route to class intersected with your daily routines. Or that your face seemed to jump out from any crowd, catching his attention.

Which certainly did not help his basketball performance. Jamil certainly did not recall you having such an interest in sports before, yet suddenly you were always there, distracting him. What had changed?

Could you possibly-

Jamil scoffed to himself, forcing his thoughts back on track for the nth time that day.

He picked up the tray of food and started taking it to Kalim. After dinner, he’d need to help Kalim with his homework, there were some housewarden tasks that would need dealing with, not to mention the preparations for the next-

Jamil froze in his tracks.

The voice he heard was quiet, but it was unmistakably you.

Really, it should not have come as such a surprise to him. You had become a rather frequent visitor to Scarabia, and Kalim often invited you to stay for meals. In fact, Jamil had started planning the dorm’s meal prep with your tastes and dietary restrictions in mind, just in case.

Jamil rounded the corner with strange exhilaration, his heart fluttering needlessly.

Yet, his mood evaporated when he saw you.

Why did you stop talking and look so guilty as soon as you caught sight of Jamil?

Jamil knew that look you gave to Kalim, had used it himself a thousand times. The one telling Kalim to keep quiet about something.

What could there possibly be that you would be comfortable sharing with Kalim, but not with him? That would give Kalim reason to sit so close to you, a comforting hand on your shoulder?

Jamil's mind raced with possibilities, yet could not settle for any single explanation.

He’d have to ask Kalim about it later.

Jamil gave you a short, polite greeting, his eyes lingering on you in an attempt to read what you were hiding.

“If I’d known you were coming over, I would’ve prepared something for you to eat as well,” Jamil said, already thinking about which parts of the dorm’s dinner to spruce up for you.

“Oh, no need, just figured I’d pop by. I’ll get out of your hair soon enough,” you said, something sheepish about your expression.

As expected, Kalim asked you to stay and dine with them, and with just a bit more persuasion you agreed - though not before telling Jamil that he should join you too and have himself a breather.

And since Kalim agreed with you, Jamil soon found himself sharing a meal with you and Kalim. Yet, even as he sat down with the food, his mind raced.

Had you been getting particularly close to Kalim lately? But surely Jamil would’ve noticed such a thing. Maybe someone from the dorm had been giving you trouble? But if that was the case, then surely you could let Jamil know about it, too. Unless for some reason you did not want to? But if it was something that concerned Kalim, then sooner or later it was bound to concern Jamil, too.

All the while, Kalim was talking to you about this and that, the latest topic being the animals kept on the Asim estate.

“I’ve got some pictures, let me show you!” Kalim said with an excited grin.

Only, a thorough patting of his pockets and a look around confirmed that Kalim’s phone was nowhere to be seen.

Jamil pinched the bridge of his nose. Where had Kalim left it this time?

Before Jamil even had the chance to say that he would handle it, Kalim sprinted off. Jamil hesitated for a moment, automatically halfway up from his seat, before he decided that leaving a guest unattended would be a worse offense than not helping out his master.

Jamil slumped back down with a sigh, mentally tracing the path Kalim took today, trying to recall the last time he saw Kalim handle his phone.

“Breathe. He’ll manage,” you said. There was the faintest of smiles on your lips, and Jamil could not decide if it was knowing or amused. Perhaps both.

Somehow, despite his frustration, Jamil’s own lips wanted to curl up too.

“Hmm. Maybe he will.”

Sure, Jamil could’ve called Kalim’s phone, to make it easier to find, but it was not that urgent, was it?

Jamil took another bite of his food, keeping an eye on you from the corner of his eye.

How was his mind so empty and so buzzing at the same time?

“You know-”

“So-”

You looked at each other, both just as surprised that the other had spoken up at the same time.

Even your surprised look was so-

“You first,” Jamil said. The way you bit your lip... Jamil had to raise a cup to his lips, slowly sipping his drink.

“Just… Feels like it’s been quite a while since I’ve seen you be still, you know. Or exchanged more than two words with you,” you said. You were attempting a light, joking tone, yet it was quite clear there was more to it.

“You say that like it would be unusual for me to be busy.”

He was not prepared for the way your soft sigh tugged at his heartstrings.

“No. It is not.”

You were both quiet after, poking at your meals. Normally, Jamil would’ve cherished such a moment of peace, yet this particular silence between you two was decidedly awkward.

Where was your usual chatter? Why weren’t you looking at him like you usually did?

“If you’re worried about me, don’t. I’m fine,” Jamil said, some softness creeping into his tone despite his best intentions.

“That's what Kalim said too,” you said. Yet the way you looked at Jamil made it clear you were still skeptical.

Wait.

Had you clammed up earlier because it had been Jamil you had been talking about with Kalim? That Kalim had comforted you about?

The thought twisted his stomach into knots.

Hasdhfsdf the way I fought with that last scene I swear. I don't even want to know how many versions I went through, trying to figure out how to say what I wanted without rubbing it into your face or making it too veiled. The joys of trying to convey things through a limited pov. Hopefully it came out reasonably balanced in the end. Rip to all those sentences that were lovely on their own but didn’t work for the whole. Hopefully I can rehome y’all one day. I do have thoughts for part 3 and part x (might be some chapters between those two as well, who knows at this point), so maybe we'll see those at some point, too. Tag list: @colliope @crystallizsch @diodellet @jamilsimpno69 @jamilvapologist @twstgo If you'd like to be tagged for future works, let me know! (Just be aware that sometimes I do also write nsfw, though you can certainly ask to be tagged only for particular kinds of works.)

#twisted wonderland #jamil viper #twisted wonderland x reader #jamil viper x reader #ner writes #jamil definitely knows how to deal with his feels #also writing this is making me wonder how aware jamil is of his inner versus outer life #like he’s very aware of how he comes across because that’s what he’s been told to watch out for #but how well has he truly learned to understand himself and his own feelings wants etc?#(I mean as you can tell I’m assuming not very well)#originally this went to more of a “jamil hears just the wrong part of the conversation” route but #a) I kinda hate that trope especially when it’s dragged on beyond belief and #b) Kalim maybe doesn’t want to spill anyone’s secrets but he really is such an open book especially with Jamil so #also it’s not like jamil needs the extra help to catastrophize he already does that well enough on his own 🙃#tho then I went a little too far in the other direction and had to pull back #but let's just hope I didn't edit this to death by now #also also: since I seem to have a bit of a naming theme going on for this series #if I were to be the sort to go for the angst route what part would definitely be titled Too Late or something along those lines #also x3 but loved folks commenting on that part about reader being inoffensive in the first part #I certainly had fun writing that line #(and in general extra love to everyone who leaves comments on tags replies wherever always great to read those)#(and in general chat with y'all)

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coccinelle-et-chaton · 8 months

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IÑAKI ☠️☠️☠️

#this is from emily rudd's stories #i just.#their group chat has to be absolutely feral #truly unhinged #we love to see a cast on crack #i love them #i haven't been this into a live action cast since i was 16 #dhsvssb #opla #opla cast #emily rudd #iñaki godoy #opla nami #opla luffy #one piece

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merakiui · 8 months

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Wait wait wait! I wanna jump on this apocalypse au train real quick! But envision this…

Whenever a housewarden picks his bride there’s a ceremony that takes place to show the remaining population the person that’s going to be standing by his side. And for this, housewardens from other compounds are invited to come witness the ceremony (or some sort of diplomat comes in the leader’s place) . It's a show of goodwill and comradery between the compounds. To keep up morale and strengthen unity.

And for this special ceremony, it’s between the one and only Malleus Draconia and his pretty bride. And who shows up because of his hatred that borders on obsession for Malleus? Fuckin Rollo.

And he takes a great interest in Malleus’s Bride. She’s innocent looking, quiet and meek. But that’s not what sparks his unhealthy interest, it's the way you stare up at Malleus like he’s your whole world. Full of love and adoration. Pure and utter devotion.

And Rollo can’t fathom the thought that you, the pinnacle of perfection and innocence, could love a monster like Malleus. Surely, it must be the effects of some sinful curse.

And late at night, where all guests are in their rooms sleeping away from the festivities of the wedding, Rollo finds himself roaming the halls. Your sweet smile and perfect body engraved in his memories. How can he sleep when you're plaguing his mind?

That’s when he finds himself following the sounds of your moans echoing down the long hall. Walking deeper into the dwelling of the dragon’s territory. Forgoing any disdain he held for the ruler. Only focusing on the sounds of your pleasured gasps and lewd moans up to the large marble doors that seem to block his view of you.

A voice whispers into his ear to lean in closer and listen. That he’s the only one worthy enough to view. Tempting him so nicely and convincingly, that he’s on his knees peeking through the keyhole to see you sprawled across the large bed. Legs wrapped around Malleus’s waist and hands tugging at his long ebony locks. The force of Malleus’s deep thrust making your back arch.

And Rollo listens to you begging Malleus to go harder, to go faster. And all that strikes a chord with Rollo and he’s tempted to reach his hand down his trousers to beat his throbbing cock to the rhythm of Malleus thrust into your tight cunt. But he holds himself back, forcing himself to focus on the sway of your breast, the shining trail of cum that drips down your thighs and ass, the plumpness of your lips and hazy expression on your face.

It wasn’t until you plead these very words that not only does his restraint snaps but so does the man that was holding you like you were the most precious gem, “Please, give me a baby!”

And the thin string that was preventing him from falling deep into his delusion is cut.

Anyways, this has been on my mind for like the whole day. Um… so do with this as you please. It was mainly supposed to be about the love of my life, Malleus, but quickly turned into a rollo thirst, which is kinda surprising. But! Here it is. Also, I didn't know where to add it, but I like to think that Malleus knew Rollo was watching and knew that he was growing some sort of infatuation for his precious Child of Man and Mal took it personally.

And I just want to say I absolutely love your work. I consume it like my abuelita consumes her telenovelas. Every post is just so juicy and good. Legit, the best blog to ever blog fr. And i want to interact more, so i might be coming back with more ideas lol

-M (not quite sure how anon names work, but I hope this is good :))

AAAAAAAAAAA M ANON, THIS IS SO YUMMY OMG........ Rollo peeking in on you and Malleus when the two of you are trying to conceive a child, not only because of compound tradition but because the two of you genuinely love and care for each other. Oooooo Rollo is in utter disbelief that you could ever willingly love someone like Malleus! Surely you're under some spell. Magic is so filthy and terrible, after all. He wouldn't be surprised if that's the reason you're so affectionate with Malleus (Rollo is very wrong about that and also very delusional).

Omg and Malleus knowing Rollo was spying...... orz he can definitely sense the presence of another, and maybe come the following morning at breakfast Malleus is so attached to you, more possessive than usual because he just knows if he leaves you alone for more than a minute someone (Rollo) may attempt to strike up conversation with you. >_< aaaaaa and Rollo is so strict with himself, trying so hard to deny the fact that he's (lustfully) attracted to you and that he's only watching you from across the banquet hall like this because he's trying to understand what you see in Malleus. That's the only reason! It's definitely not because he keeps thinking about you and your pretty body and your moans and....... T_T he is obsessed and in denial, and Malleus most definitely knows this.

After he's returned to the Noble Bell compound, he (very begrudgingly) writes to Malleus, if only to keep up appearances and be polite, but mainly so, should another event happen, he can secure an invitation and see you again. <3 he frequently writes about you in his diary to sate every filthy desire he has, often tearing the pages out and burning them after he's gotten it out of his system. But some pages he keeps. Like the poems and sonnets dedicated to you.

#twisted chit chat #n/sfw #twst apocalypse au #M anon #also thank you for liking my work and blog!!!!! <3 #i'm happy the posts can be delicious #your apocalypse rollo idea sustains me orz it is truly a meal of an ask omg i am fed well #i need to write more apocalypse rollo >:D he's so gross i love him

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suguwu · 2 months

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daydrunk and emotional

#bee chats #this community is not perfect but it is a community at heart and i love that #truly grateful for the people i’ve met #and so grateful for everyone who has set aside their fear and given us a piece of themselves #whether it’s writing or art or anything else #and even more grateful for the people who read and enjoy themselves #bc isn’t that the point? to enjoy and have fun #anyway yeah just feeling a way

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cursingtoji · 5 months

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when asked what nanami thinks of geto becoming a curse user gege said “nanami can’t say he blames him for switching” and i think it shows how understanding nanami is and despite not being one of the main characters imo he’s one of the best written ones cause he doesn’t follow any cliche, he’s a rebel in a suit

#— chatting break 💬#sometimes i hate my own inability to express myself in english #but truly i love nanami #and i can spend days talking and reading about him #i think the only wrong you can do when writing him is portraying him as super severe and strict man that follows rules blindly

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koifsssh · 7 months

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*slowly slides a fruity crab to you* :3

i honestly did feel my heartstrings pull a little, it was a very nice surprise! admittedly i've been having a rather rough week so far, so this honestly cheered me up...

im not sure what else to say other than thank you, i truly do not deserve such a nice crab....

#i feel like i am making a bigger deal out of it than i should but it really did catch me by surprise...#or maybe my emotions as of late have been pretty topsy turvy...#thank you Day #i love you/p truly!!!#fruity crab...#it is the way i can feel myself on the verge of tears my goodness i need to pull myself together!!!#thank you so much #i've never gotten such a thing before! it makes me feel silly...#(in a good way!!!)#thank you for the silly crab... i never knew i needed such a thing...#chit chat #what should i name him...#im thinking frootloops!#first name froot last name loops #perfect!

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liesmyth · 1 year

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If you’re still doing the ship rating- Camilla/Palamedes because I’m sorry but fusing into one being in a Catholic inspired text is just not a platonic thing to do and “yes, my whole life, yes; always and forever, yes” is not a platonic thing to say before said fusing

I MEAN... I have no idea what "platonic" or "shippy" means in the context of Camilla and Palamedes, because they are the apex of codependency. In a series that's all about codependent relationships, they raise the bar to new unparalleled heights. They are obsessed with each other. Quite literally two halves of a whole (Paul. Just Paul)

I'm struggling a bit to articulate this but, basically: I get why other people may not read them as romantic or sexual, but ultimately I think it doesn't even matter because they're so much MORE than that. They are such a disaster gordian knot of fucked up and devotion and overwhelming feels that reducing it to whether or not they're fucking seems ??? kinda pointless to me??? because they're each other's whole world. They lived in each other's pockets for years and they shared a body for months. They are each other's whole universe and decided to fuse their souls forever rather than letting one of them live on while the other died. They have SO MUCH going on; what does "platonic" even mean in this context?

tl;dr: I personally do read them as shippy. But also that's not even in my top 3 most noteworthy things about Camilla and Pal, because every facet of their relationship is so rich. I don't even see it as a question of "shippy", I just see it as "it's impossible to disentangle them from one another." They're just. THE MOST complete package. Absolutely completely life partners. Deeply fucked up and they wouldn't have it any other way

(On that note, when I see posts about how the Sixth House have therapy, I think... they absolutely do not. Just because Camilla knows how to do breathing exercises it doesn't mean they are in any way well-adjusted. When Pyrrha Dvue tells you to dial it back, you know you have an issue!

Anyway. Nobody is well-adjusted in this series. Love that for them)

#tbh. I put CamPal on the same level as John and Alecto #except possibly more obsessed with each other because they actually belong to the same species #like: I can accept that people read their relationship in different ways as long as we all agree #that whatever they have going on is fundamental and lifechanging and they can't be parted #campal #truly deeply MUTUALLY OBSESSIVE ALL CONSUMING LOVE wtf is GOING ON THERE #anyway i clearly am not doing the ship game anymore bc i lost the post #but i'm always HERE to chat about devotion's casualties #anonymous #ask

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that-foul-legacy-lover · 4 months

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Wifi did you see?! Foul Legacy is getting his own figure!!

https://twitter.com/GenshinUpdate/status/1738381153445511445?t=5dAeU1K6iJpQI9CP-f_McA&s=19

I saw the news on Twitter and knew I had to send 'em to you

EXTREMELY LOUD INHUMAN SCREECHING

#genshin impact #childe #tartaglia #foul legacy #foul legacy childe #chit chat #anon(s)#OHHHH YM GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER HELLO???????#MY BOY...... MY SWEET FLUFFY MOTH BOY IS GETTING HIS OWN FIGURE........#FOUL LEGACY MY LOVE I AM SO PROUD OF YOU #IT'S A WINTER MIRACLE I HOPE IT LOOKS AMAZING AND COOL AND FANTASTIC #i know it'll definitely be too expensive for me and i will never own it sobs #BUT TO KNOW IT EXISTS!!!!!! IS ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!#oh my gosh this truly is the best day #got to pick up my friend from the airport got to see some nice things and now this #i am so blessed today thank you anons for bringing this to my attention #(especially since i refuse to have the blue bird app yes it's still the bird app to me shhhh)#good evening :)

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sirenofthegreenbanks · 6 months

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deeply enjoy that the novel can also be read as a commentary on the fallacy of information. we have zzs as the main narrator who adds to this nuance by being a former spymaster and leader of a bunch of proficient investigators. hes very intimate with the process of verification of information, and even his vast databank of knowledge and his abilities of filtering and sorting the "true" from the "fake" is tested throughout the novel through many instances and events. its especially interesting because he makes a major mistake, almost from the very start, that he resolves only after a very long time, and only after overcoming personal weaknesses. his personal weakness at recognizing truth vs decept reveals itself in the inability to meet personal events with a human perspective; he is basically functioning like a person with two lives, and most of the time, he at least acts as if he is regarding wkx, suspected master of ghosts, from the professional business grounds of the retired leader of shadows rather than from the perspective of a person with an adventurous life and wishes of his own. in this lies the danger to misinterpret and to refuse to confront what is truly going on. if zzs cant 'find' the "true reason" for the ghost master following his humble retired self, he is going to do his utmost to make up one (on the basis of his personal and professional experience with such situations), instead of considering at least once the admittedly unlikely chance that wkx might like him and is even deeply sincere about him. this doesnt signal anything less but that we, as the reader, should not irrevocably trust even the one person who is in most stories the most trustworthy; the main narrator. instead, we are advised to reserve us the right to doubt and think for ourself, to look critically upon even zzs, which only circles back to the novel's theme of the fallacy of information. it even lends to the novel's dialogue with the human right to form your own opinion and your own thoughts and come to your own conclusions, no matter how much they might diverge from norm or mainstream or traditions, and no matter how tempting it might be not to.

#tian ya ke #just thoughts im having while im continuing my reread #zhou zishu from tyk #zhou zishu #this has me wondering if zzs's struggle with himself regarding trusting in wkx's display of sincerity #can also be read as his general struggle with being a person with a life of his own and private opinions in service of no other than himsel #one of the things he learns is that is okay to have desires and its okay to Be a person #oftentimes that reveals itself in the novel's question of morality as a concept and the conditions for receiving love and care #'are villains and ppl whove done bad stuff deserving of love and care? do they need to earn it?'#but i think it also comes true here where zzs essentially needs to find a way to be human again #going from having lived a life with a truly atrocious work/life balance to a life that is fully and entirely his own #(i always think that zzs taking the nails has a lot to do with reclaiming ownership)#(and also with 'detoolifying' himself; hes turning himself into a cripple he is 'useless'. this gives him the justification #he needs to live according to his own personal whims and desires.)#updating my tags to find my insane chat with geneticcatalyst again->#bouncing thoughts back and forth #the mutual tag #geneticcatalyst

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