#but that is the only reason at all

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

#cw: suicidal ideation #cw: suicide #cw: self harm #cw: mental health #cw: depression #i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it #i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague #it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves #so. please dont #for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic #with the state of the world as it is #having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful #but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full #and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead #i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us #there is no fix-all #and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile #i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it #thank you for reading #and please stay alive #stillindigo art #stillindigo comics

[mo-mode]

The Biblically Accurate Trio in TLT

#it’s not that they don’t have the other two it’s that they all had their smarts privileges revoked #Annabeth lost her street smarts and common sense privileges when she tried to buy all that candy with only $200 #Percy lost his common sense and book smarts privileges when he couldn’t figure out he was a son of Poseidon after using literal water powers #grover lost his book smarts and street smarts privileges after trying to reason with Medusa and a cop respectively #they’re all my children tho #don’t worry they’ll get their privileges back #eventually #percy jackson #pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo tv show #percy jackson tv show #pjo spoilers #percy jackson the lightning thief #pjo series #annabeth chase #grover underwood

[dragontummy]

Tumblr would literally rather arbitrarily delete the accounts of trans women on this site with uncharacteristic amounts of speed than address even one genuine instance of harassment. They've already lost one harassment lawsuit and they immediately decided it was more worth their time to continue on the exact same path. They KNOW what they're doing. With staff like this, the only way to see genuine change on this site is going to be to make it more of a problem for them to not address this issue.

#fuck 'em. #every time another one of our mutuals loses their account to this shit we grow more and more sick of tumblr as a whole #the only reason we're still here it all is genuinely because this is the only social media site we use anymore

[inkstaindusk]

knight/lord ships are like. what if i would die for you. what if i wanted you to live for me. what if i wanted to touch you but could only be satisfied with being near you. what if i could touch you but only through the safety of our gloves. what if i couldn’t stop thinking about you right next to me. what if i bloodied my hands for you and never looked back at the wreckage. what then

#DEVOTION!!!! YEARNING!!!!!! #KILLING YOUR ENEMIES IN THE NAME OF LOVE!!!!! #gasping when the two's hands meet because the IMPROPRIETY of it all #chit chattery #tropes #edit: for some reason some ppl seem to think this is only about men?? #knight and lord are gender neutral terms and also dont necessarily need to actually be nobility it's about the vibes

[finelythreadedsky]

it's so great that in greek tragedy there are only three paradigms for a woman leaving her house (her wedding, her funeral, and maenadic rites) and they're all kind of the same thing also

#this is very much entirely in the realm of the cultural imaginary #in real life ancient greek women (of all classes) did indeed leave their houses for a wide variety of reasons apart from these #but tragedy doesn't acknowledge them and instead suggests a world in which these are the only three legitimate reasons a woman leaves home #and thus tries to understand everything else in terms of these three paradigms #mine #reading

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

finally at that age where i'm thinking i should get a tattoo. not bc i feel strongly about it, just seems like a waste not to. i've got so much skin i'm not using

#feels so selfish like. all this skin what am i saving it for? #open to design suggestions! (please make me regret this offer) #maybe some deep sea horrors. a pretty watercolor of a gulper eel #once saw a person on the subway with various Skeleton Tattoos on all their limbs #i respected their commitment to the theme #but more than that i respected how all the skeletons were engaged in Activities #dancing in a ballgown. juggling its own (and two other???) skulls. swordfighting. being a mermaid skeleton #ANYWAY. the only reason i haven't already gotten tattoos is i just couldn't be bothered #i'm old enough to know i don't have any strong-but-potentially-temporary feelings driving me towards it #aesthetically i prefer decorated to non-decorated surfaces. but i'm not artistic or thrilled with commitment #honestly it feels like sheer laziness. indecisiveness--nay. immaturity!--that i HAVEN'T gotten a tattoo yet #letting all this blank canvas go to waste. tut tut i need to grow up and be an adult and get a tattoo sleeve already. #really i've put off my responsibilities long enough #(in fairness i DID at one time have 18 different piercings) #(but i took most of them out bc they interfere with wearing headphones and/or shoving my face in my pillow during Sleep Time) #(i only kept the nape piercing bc oddly enough it ended up being the most convenient. and the least painful to get now i think about it.) #(neck piercing? no problem. normal pair of earrings? Tribulations And Suffering. i don't make the rules i just poke them with a stick.)

[jakeperalta]

#inspired by seeing someone in their 20s post on instagram about their first solo cinema trip #i will happily go alone all the time (the only reason i don't do it more at the moment is because i can't drive to get there) #but i guess some people prefer to only go with others #feel free to rb with your answer/explanation in the tags :) or also feel free to vote and scroll past lol #polls

[haunted-xander]

I made this AAAAGES ago and forgot to post it and now I'm annoyed by how it's rotting away on my phone so here. Bratty teen Thancred being a menace to Fourchenault (and a bad influence on Urianger lol)

#we never see fourchenault & thancred interact in any meaningful way (outside of Group Interaction) and i like to imaginr #its bc fourchenault Did Not Like thancred when they were kids and has resolved to just ignore him now #and thancred-the little bastard that he is-wouldve 100% messed with him on purpose if he had the chance #bc i just KNOW he pulled stunts like this to annoy fourchenault all the time #fourchenault tells him to eat more orderly and thancred gets more messy on purpose yk. he is wired to be petty against stuffy rich kids #also urianger isnt actually being influenced much he has always been down to break the rules if he wants to #hes taught by louisiox thats like a requirement. him & his group of unconventional little smartypants #only reason he went to thancred specifically for help here is bc 1) he knows thancred knows how to easily get onto the roof and #2) hes like idk 13 here so hes still a tiny baby size. hes too short to reach up lol #anyway thats enough silly kid rambling time to tag #fourchenault leveilleur #thancred waters #urianger augurelt #final fantasy #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #ffxiv #art #my art #xanders art #digital art #fan art

[arinmoss]

Sam!

#i like his winter outfit cause his hat hides his stupid ass psiky hair lmao #sorry im not a sam guy the only reason i even drew him was so i could dra whi hair like this lol #look i love soft hair thats kinda wavy or swoopy so im makin all the boys have this hair #im sure if i ever draw alex or shane they would be unrecognizable lmao #also his face looks kinda weird but #i dont really feel like fixing it anymore than i already have #like i fixed his face so many times cause it looked off and it STILL looks of but ah well #art #artwork #stardew valley #fanart #sam stardew valley #sdv #artists on tumblr

[hiddenmoonbeam]

After a year of admiring amazing art and fics, I finally started drawing them too. So why not share, yeah? :')

#wolfstar #r/s #I’m more drawn to Hogwarts era and canon divergence #but this is the origin after all #and it felt only right to start here #also I really wanted to draw Sirius’ looong hair #…tbh his hair in general is a big reason I started drawing them at all lmao #anyway HI HELLO #also I need this tag too: #my art #hmb #art

[sergle]

You do an awful lot of complaining about money for someone who's buying that much yarn

YARN IS THE NEW AVOCADO TOAST, YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST

#this one was too funny not to publicize sorry everybody #the reason I'll never be able to afford a home is because I bought enough yarn to make a blanket #sergle.txt #it's the crochet you see. #god. I enjoy that. if only I hadn't made my $70 lion brand purchase. it would've made all the difference.

[taxinealkaloids]

girls will literally turn their parents’ corpses into meat puppets to prevent the House of their birthright from being annexed by other powers 

#my art #tlt #the locked tomb #harrowhark nonegesimus #the corpse puppets were actually the reason I instantly became obsessed with her #also i'm nearly certain people on the ninth realized p&p weren't right. as ortus said harrow isnt the only one who can add 2 and 2 and #get four!! like those guys were dead. they were for sure dead. and everyone just kinda agreed they'd pretend not to notice. #picturing some nuns sitting around like ....ok so we all know they're dead right? we know they're dead? #and the other ones are like yeah but shhhh #yes the 10 yr old is doing the budgeting now. just ignore it. #also tumblr decided to absolutely chow down on the quality of the first pic so uh it just looks like that now. crispy.

[thedreadvampy]

Losing my shit about this article in which a transphobic Tory was so busy panicking about existing in the vicinity of a Trans that she almost certainly misheard "jeans" as "penis" and decided that not only was this a problem with the other woman, but also that the world must be informed of this pressing danger.

"a trans woman! I had to stand directly behind her....I thought, 'this is going well', I'm handling The Situation fine'..."

translated: I saw a tall woman with broad shoulders. How would I get out of this alive? I thought. she has a PENIS. PENIS PENIS PENIS. through some force of PENIS I mean will I managed to PENIS behave normally towards her. My hands were PENIS PENIS PENIS shaking as I tried to dry them. summoning up all my PENIS courage I said 'dryer's crap innit'. she turned to me and said " yeah I'm just goiPENIS PENIS PENIS"

It's been a week and I'm still shaking. This proves trans women are the problem and I'm not weird. I'm fine. It's fine. If you think about it I'm the hero hePENIS!!!!!

very this

#red said #it's just. I'm obsessed. #everyone on Twitter is saying 'never happened' and i think they're wrong #this absolutely did happen and she's been obsessing over how vindicated it made her feel enough to WRITE AN ARTICLE ABOUT IT #because she MISHEARD SOMEONE IN A CASUAL CONVERSATION #i lay out my reasoning thusly: if you were INVENTING a scary trans woman in bathroom story out of nothing. why would it be this? #why would you go with 'we had a banal conversation until she said a sentence that makes no sense and that no human has ever uttered #but which does coincidentally sounds almost exactly like a mishearing of a very NORMAL thing to say in the circumstances #then she left and nothing else occurred' #if you were going to INVENT a story you would probably make it MAKE SENSE or SOUND THREATENING #i truly believe this is a very authentically told account of what she thinks happened #because who would. by means other than mishearing. think 'I'm going to wipe my hands on my penis' makes any sense at all. #a) 'I'm going to dry my hands on my genitals' says the presumably fully clothed woman #b) who then proceeds to leave without doing anything threatening #c) WHO SAYS PENIS THREATENINGLY? sorry it's writing out 'penis' repeatedly that made this jump out to me but like. who says that? #you might hear someone talk casually about their dick or cock but i stg it's only doctors and TERFs who casually use the word penis much #it's so. clinically descriptive. it's a weird use of language. but it IS. something you could plausibly mishear from 'pants' or 'trousers'

[odetojupiter]

the fact that kevin day also witnessed a man being chopped up in the tower at evermore after neil’s audition is mad, and it’s something that is very much not addressed ever. like, maybe part of kevin was so accepting of how things were in the nest because he knew that this is the second branch, and if he were to leave, he’d become the main branch’s problem because he knows too much, and the main branch casually chops men up as a warning to literal children. and then he’s still called a coward for leaving ?? but also a coward for wanting to go back to make the inevitable less painful for him ??? and that’s not even considering what riko and tetusji did to him specifically, before even jean arrived at the nest. and his mother’s death would’ve been quite recent at that point. just insane.

#like i’m pretty sure the man being chopped up was the final straw for mary to take neil and run #and kevin saw that and wasn’t allowed to leave #so he accepted that maybe where he is is the better of two options and decided it’s okay because at least he gets to play exy #so exy became his only escape because if he was so scared that if he were to leave the nest he’d be the next one given to the butcher #it’s not until he doesn’t have exy anymore cause riko took it from him that he leaves #god i have so many thoughts but i am going to stop now #aftg #all for the game #kevin day #neil josten #so you’ll believe that neil was scared of nathan for a good reason but won’t believe kevin was scared of riko for good reason #(i said i’d stop but i did not) #and tetsuji #like even in tsc kevin is still calling tetsuji the master without hesitation

[tyxaar]

A compiled list of various severe crimes committed by one Mr Scar of the Good Times, exact counts pending. Cannibalism (Multiple counts) War profiteering Trading of Souls Grave robbing Fraud of multiple varieties Racketeering Arson (Like a lot of it) Unethical experimentation Acts of Terror Spiritual possession Contract killing Sale of human remains Ritual sacrifice Oathbreaking Violation of the real life Geneva Convention Deceptive marketing Kidnapping Desecration of a sacred place Whatever tf Area 77 had going on Insider trading Extortion Patricide Matricide Unsafe building practices Holy war Desecration of corpses Market manipulation Treason Tax evasion Murder (Lots and lots) Large-scale extreme vandalism Mass enviromental destruction Political corruption Identity fraud

#goodcrimeswithscar #note: ALL OF THESE ARE CANON #if you want to ask about any of them send it to my inbox pls! #like it's all stuff I recall him doing at some point lol #I'm only counting crimes that are considered like reaaaallly bad. stealing and other misc stuff is not on this list for a reason #also going by the law of narrative significance (unless it's funny) #and including stuff that isn't technically a crime but also basically is #tyx is being silly #tyx’s ramblings #traffic smp #life smp #trafficblr #mcyt #hermitblr #hermitcraft #goodtimeswithscar #gtwscar #gtws #your honour it is impossible for him not to be a criminal

[hussyknee]

I know some dickheads have now decided that Judaism is the "bad, violent, terrorist religion" and Islam is the "good, peaceful" one, which is only to be expected of white people, but how much of an issue is it currently? Like I've seen some USAmericans sharing how the Islamic faith shapes Gazans values and perseverance (good) except with that distinct white hippie "I'm about to imprint on this like the world's most racist duck" vibe (bad), but I didn't think they're already turning on Judaism in numbers.

Do they realize that Christianity is also the same kind of comfort to Christian minorities in Asia and Africa? That it was Buddhists that genocided the Rohingyas in Myanmar and Tamils in Sri Lanka? That Hindu fundamentalists are even now trying to ethnically cleanse Muslims in India? How Hindus and Christians are terrorized and persecuted in Pakistan? That Muslims have a history of persecuting and ethnically cleansing Jews too?

Really tired of asking y'all to be normal about people's religions man. There's no religion that's inherently violent or exceptionally peaceful. It's just like any other ideology that becomes a weapon in the hands of ethnic power. Interrogate power, not religion, and respect people's belief systems insofar as they aren't in your business.

Edit: I've amended the "long history" of Muslim persecution of Jews because it might be misleading in the current political climate. Zionism and antisemitic Arab nationalism are twin births resulting directly from Christian colonization, and Islamic empires tended to actually be more tolerant of other religions compared to Christianity, especially Judaism, which was considered a sibling religion. Antisemitism wasn't ideologically entrenched in Islamic tradition. It's simply that ethno-religious power will lead to ethno religious domination and intermittent cleansing of minorities, and Islam is no exception. Humans be humaning always.

#Edit: please boost the edit #why can't white people just be fuckin normal for once #tbh this site was so weird about Judaism that it felt almost culty #I had several crises about whether I was being antisemitic before I realized no I'm just reacting to the idealization-demonization binary #that seems to be all western leftists know how to do #white queers are the worst about this #and now some of the asks I've been getting gives me the impression that the west thinks ''Islamist'' is some kind of dangerous cryptid #y'all attach insane levels of importance to people's choice of headgear #the only common denominator of all the Muslims I know is their fixation on biriyani idk #a lot of white lefties just want to use religion to distance yourself from your white privilege #same reason as why communism is so attractive to you #y'all want to share in a legacy of oppression because it's easier than self-reflection and unlearning #antisemitism #anti Zionism #Islamphobia #philosemitism #white queers #western leftists #racism #religious fundamentalism #genocide #religious violence #knee of huss