#but sometimes being a high school age girl just sucks and i want her to be well

[wormsdyke]

having strong emotions about a teenage emo satyr

#i want to buy zelda donovan a milkshake at give her the aux and let her vent for 7 hours #teenage girlhood is just so hard and everything is so much sometimes #i haven’t watched the 7 yet and only have the bits of her we see in fantasy high but i just love her so much #gorgug is a sweetheart i think he’s doing his best #but sometimes being a high school age girl just sucks and i want her to be well #anyways. i’m projecting #zelda donovan #orating! #fh

[super-cosmic-library]

loosely based on this post

tw: mentions of blood

Look, everyone had gone through a vampire phase. One Mrs. Stephanie Meyer had a heavy hand in that. And even if one had somehow managed to skirt the whole Twilight saga, there were a litany of other vampire books/tv shows/movies that came in its wake. Almost everyone in the 2010s wanted a vampire boyfriend. Even Robin, whose taste veered toward the more extraterrestrial side of paranormal fiction, had confided in Steve that she wouldn’t mind having an undead, blood sucking vampire girlfriend.

All in all, Steve didn’t get it. Why did nearly all of the girls in his grade fawn over the idea of getting with someone older than their great grandfathers? It was gross. Not to mention the fact that vampires didn’t have blood, so how would they even be able to get it up in the bedroom? 

The whole mess baffled him to no end, and he was grateful when its popularity died down. He didn’t know if he would be able to take listening to Max and El giggling over Edward What’s-his-face.

His relief, however, was short lived. Just as the kids he baby sat started to enter high school, the Twilight saga had a resurgence of popularity all thanks to TikTok. Only this time, he didn’t just have to hear it from the girls. Max and El had gotten Lucas and Will to watch the movies with them, which led to them reading the girls’ copies of the books. And, look, Lucas he understood. When Steve was in high school, he would have done anything to please Nancy. (Luckily, she had been more interested in the rising popularity of the dystopian genre. He had thoroughly enjoyed listening to the Hunger Games series on audiobook.) But Will? Even if he was just doing it to bond with his sister, Steve thought the boy had more taste than that.

And when Lucas and Will became obsessed with it, so did Mike and Dustin. Again, Steve understood Mike, even though unlike Lucas, he was totally oblivious to his crush on Will. But Dustin? As far as Steve was aware, Suzie wasn’t allowed to read the series, even though the creator was also Mormon.

At least Erica was still at the age where she turned her nose up at any hint of romance.

But, you know, it wouldn’t be such a big deal if the kids obsession with vampires contained itself to the fictional world. He could deal with it better if it did. If then, they might be able to talk about other topics of interest. Hell, Steve would give anything to listen to the boys ramble all day long about their Dungeons and Dorks game. But Steve wasn’t so lucky.

Because while he loved the kids’ strong, creative imaginations, it meant that sometimes their fictional obsessions would spill over into the real world. And that. That was what he was really fed up with.

“I swear, it’s him,” Dustin nearly shouted over the other boys. “Same name. Same exact hair. He’s a vampire.”

Steve restrained a groan as he looked up from the dishes to see Dustin, Lucas, Will, and Mike at the dining table crowded around what appeared to be a high school yearbook.

“He can’t be!” Thank god, Mike was being the voice of reason. (Something Steve never thought he would be.) “I’ve seen him walk to his van in the sun, and he was totally fine. Also, on spaghetti day in the cafeteria, he ate, like, three slices of garlic bread!”

Steve had thought too soon.

“Then how do you explain this?” Dustin asked, gesturing to the page.

“Maybe it’s someone he’s related to?” Will offered.

“I don’t know,” Lucas said. “The resemblance is uncanny.”

Curiosity got the best of Steve. What could he say? Even if he hated this whole vampire thing, he enjoyed the weird little adventures his kids went on. Steve didn’t have many friends growing up. Hell, aside from Robin, he didn’t have many friends now. At least, friends his own age. It made his heart warm, seeing all of them getting to be a bunch of idiot children together. 

But they didn’t need to know that.

“What are you little shits looking at?” He slung the dish towel he had been using to dry the flatware with over his shoulder, and made his way over to the table.

“Steve, we think our new DM is a vampire!” Dustin announced excitedly.

Steve put his hands on his hips (his signature mom pose, according to the kids), and rolled his eyes. “Vampires aren’t real.” 

He didn’t say it to dull the kid’s enthusiasm. If anything, antagonization was their form of love language. Plus, Dustin always took the discouragement as a challenge to double down on whatever stance he took. Steve had to admire the kid for his confidence in himself. He knew first hand how easily that could be stripped away. 

“Then how do you explain this?” Dustin slid the yearbook over for him to look at, pointing at  the man in question. “He’s been in high school for years.”

Steve glanced down at the page. “Oh, Eddie Munson? He was in some of my classes last year. He was held back twice; though, that may have been because he almost never showed up to class. But that doesn’t mean he’s a vampire.”

“This is an old yearbook, though,” Lucas countered.

“If last year is old, then how ancient do you think I am?” Steve snipped. He pointed to the class picture that captured his likeness. “Look, there’s me. Does that mean I’m a vampire?”

“Steve, this isn’t your yearbook.” Dustin held the cover of the book up for Steve to read. There on the cover, in green and gold, were the words “Class of 1985.”

“What?” He snatched the yearbook from him, and flipped back to the page they had been studying. “No, that’s . . .”

He trailed off. Yes, that picture had captured his likeness; however, it was his father’s name that was written underneath. His father, who he was apparently the spitting image of.

“Maybe it’s his dad,” Steve tried, flipping through the pages. “Or his uncle. Doesn’t he live with his uncle?”

“We already checked the rest of it.” Mike snatched the book away from him. “He’s the only Munson in there.”

“His dad and his uncle could have not been in high school together,” Will countered.

“Thank you for being the only reasonable person here.”

Will blushed at Steve’s praise. 

“I am telling you,” Dustin trudged on. “Eddie Munson is a vampire. And we’re going to prove it.”

~~~

Proving it ended up being more challenging than the boys had thought. As Mike had already proved, Eddie had no aversion to garlic or the sun. Crosses, Lucas pointed out, had no affect on him either, seeing as he wore one on his ring. So there went that theory. Dustin had even followed him into the bathroom one day to see if Eddie had a reflection in the mirror. He ended up having two Eddies stare at him like he was a creep.

Either none of the stereotypes were true, or--and Dustin was loathe to admit it--Steve was right.

There was still one more thing they could try.

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” Lucas said.

Dustin huffed. “Well, do you have any better plans? Because the only thing we haven’t tried yet is a stake to the heart, which is a dumb thing to begin with because that could kill anyone.”

“What about holy water?”

“And how are you going to get a priest to agree to bless a bottle of water?” Mike asked.

“My pastor might do it,” Lucas said.

“Let’s just try this first,” Dustin said. “And if it doesn’t work, you can call your pastor.”

The plan was simple, really. While they were playing DnD that afternoon, Dustin was going to “accidently” get a paper cut. Eddie’s reaction to the fresh blood would determine whether or not he was a vampire. It was fool proof.

Unfortunately, it seemed like Dustin was a fool. Who could blame him, though? Eddie was an amazing Dungeon Master. He knew just how to craft a story to suck just about anyone in. It wasn’t until they were packing up at the end of the session that Dustin remembered the plan. That probably explained the looks the other boys had been shooting him the entire time.

Dustin was just about to drag the edge of a piece of paper across this hand, when the drama room door banged open.

“Alright, you little shits. Get in the car. I’m already having a bad day, and I don’t need your moms blowing up my phone asking where you are.”

“Steve, why do you have a tampon in your nose?” Will asked.

Dustin glanced up at Steve, only to find that the man indeed had a bloody tampon in his nose.

“I had a nose bleed, and didn’t have any Kleenex in my car. It’s the only thing Robin or I had. And it works, so I don’t want to hear anything more about it.”

Blood.

Dustin nearly gave himself whiplash turning his head to look at Eddie. Eddie, who was staring at Steve with eyes that could only be described as ravenous.

“King Steve,” Eddie drew out as he approached Steve.

“Munson.”

“Now why’s a pretty jock like you carting around a bunch of nerdy freshmen?”

“I baby sit them.”

Eddie chuckled. “Yes, they are a bunch of babies.”

That was met with a round of protests from the kids.

“How hard was your nose bleeding? Aren’t tampons supposed to be super absorbent?”

Lucas was right. There was a ring of blood leaking down the tampon.

“Are you okay?” Will asked.

Eddie, however, did not look okay. Dustin had never seen him so focused on one thing as he was with Steve’s nose. And that included DnD.

“Yeah, it just happens sometimes. I’ll be fine. Now come on, or Robin’s going to start honking.”

They were being corralled out of the building before Dustin could come to any concrete conclusions, but judging from the way Eddie had stared at Steve’s nose, he was sure their hunch was correct.

Now they just had to prove it.

~~~

Turned out, the best way to prove their DM was a vampire was to show up at his trailer unannounced. Catch him off guard while he was at his most comfortable. In fact, the hardest part about the whole thing had been trying to convince Steve to drive them over to the trailer park. In the end, he was a push over as always.

Dustin bounded up the steps to the trailer, the other boys close behind. He pounded on the door. “Eddie!”

A crash came from inside, followed by a grumbled “shit.” A few moments later, Eddie swung open the door.

“Couldn’t have given me a heads up?”

“We have some urgent DnD questions. Couldn’t’ve waited for you to respond.” Dustin and the rest of the boys pushed passed him into the trailer. Only Will hesitated, sheepish look on his face.

“Hey, wait, what are you doing!” Eddie called after them.

“Oh my god, have some manners,” Steve slammed his car door closed.

“Steve,” Eddie began. “They roped you into this?”

“They threatened to walk otherwise. Couldn’t let them get hit by a car or kidnapped.”

The four boys searched around the tidy trailer, not even trying to appear like they weren’t.

“What are you knuckleheads doing?” Eddie asked.

Steve, who they had not informed what they were doing, seemed to have caught on to their plan. “Not this again.”

“You know what they’re doing?” 

“Guys, look!” Mike, staring in the fridge, exclaimed. The boys ran over to him.

“Hey, you guys, get out of there!” Eddie exclaimed.

“Yeah, knock it off. Let the man live in piece.”

Dustin, Lucas, and Will gasped when they saw the contents of the fridge. Yes, there was normal people food in the fridge--nothing to write home about. But stacked on the top shelf was the motherload: bags and bags of blood.

Mike grabbed one and held it out for Steve to see. “We fucking told you!”

“Eddie’s a vampire,” Dustin vibrated with excitement. “Eddie, you’re a vampire.”

“Eddie’s not . . . there’s gotta be . . .Eddie?” Steve looked to Eddie as if asking him to deny the kid’s claims.

Eddie crossed his arms over his chest and heaved out an exasperated sigh. “Looks like you caught me.”

“I fucking told you!” Dustin shouted at Steve.

“Language.” Steve snapped. “Eddie, come on. Be serious. Vampires don’t exist.”

“Telling the truth, Harrington.” Eddie flashed them his fangs. “I am a vampire.” 

“You’re teeth aren’t normally that sharp,” Will said.

“I can control when my fangs come out,” Eddie said with a shrug. Then, to demonstrate, he retraced his fangs, so his teeth looked human again. “It’s been handy in hiding from mortals. In fact, you guys are the first to figure it out. Surprised it took this long for anyone to notice, honestly.”

“So you’ve been able to hide in plan sight for, like, hundreds of years?” Dustin asked.

Eddie slouched down onto the couch, understanding that he was about to be pelted with about a million questions. “More like forty.”

“Forty?” Will asked.

“I was turned in the ‘80s. ‘86, I think. I don’t know, the years start to blur together.”

“So, you’re just as old as our parents?” Mike scoffed. “Lame.”

“But I look much better than them.”

The boys took his nonchalance as permission to start their rain of questions.

“So do you have vampire powers?”

“How can you eat garlic?”

“Does the sun not burn your skin?”

“Do you have to get permission to enter new places?”

And on and on they went, only briefly pausing for Eddie to get a sufficient answer out. Meanwhile, Steve just stood by the door. Dustin could tell he was trying to process the fact that he had almost graduated with a vampire. Dustin could understand. Had he not already been convinced himself, the information would have taken a bit to accept.

When Steve finally came back around, he joined the group surrounding Eddie. 

“Why are you still at Hawkins High?” Steve asked. “You were in class with my parents. Couldn’t have you gotten out and gone someplace people won’t recognize you?”

Eddie paused, actually giving that question some thought. The other boys let him think it through instead of feeding him more questions. They wanted to know the answer too.

“Well, I tried to once, but then Wayne started having health problems, and I didn’t want to leave him alone. When I realized that I had stopped aging, I decided to stay with him even after he recovered. Realized that if I don’t grow old, I’m going to outlive him. I’d rather spend the rest of his life with him, than in hiding and regretting it when he’s gone. As for people recognizing me: you’d be surprised how little attention the freaks of Hawkins get.”

The group sat in silence for a moment, letting his words sink in. Dustin supposed that if he were turned into a vampire, he would stick around to spend as much time with his mom as he could.

“Speaking of, where is your uncle?” Lucas asked.

Eddie smiled to himself. “Technically, he’s my little brother. We started doing the whole uncle/nephew thing when he got too old to believably be my brother. And he should be finishing up his shift at the hospital. Decided to become a nurse after finishing chemo. He has always been the smart one. Besides, it helps with procuring my stash of blood.” 

Mike perked up at that. “So you do drink blood?”

“Yes.”

“But we’ve seen you eat real food.”

“You’re point?”

Mike huffed. “So do you need blood to live, or is it just a craving--like wanting a Coke?”

“I can eat real food, but it doesn’t fully satisfy my hunger. Only drinking blood does that.”

“Have you ever?” Steve gulped. “Have you ever drank blood from a person.”

“You offering?” Eddie smirked.

Steve flushed.

Weird.

As his friends continued to talk, Dustin’s mind wandered. It was no secret that Steve found men attractive. He was the biggest slut in Hawkins, after all. And Dustin had only ever seen him nervous around men who he thought were really hot. 

Oh, Dustin could have fun with this. After all, didn’t everyone want a vampire boyfriend?

okay, well this completely got away from me. will I make this a series? mayhaps.

#steddie #vampire eddie munson #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #Eddie Munson the boomer vampire

[halevren]

FHJY Spoilers || my live thoughts as I watch episode 6

I had to pause Taskmaster NZ for this. Did you guys know that the episodes are on YouTube for FREE?!?!?!?!!?!!

Love the intro as usual, Sarah Barrios goes so hard

HELLO ONE AND ALL!!!!!!!

Hiii intrepid heroes!

AYDA AGUEFORT PLEASE COME BACK I MISS YOU

I wonder if adaine will get a new job this episode

rest in peace Conor Counterspell

I forgot how much happened last episode

"Buttered to perfection"

IT'S ALWAYS HAPPY HOUR AT APPLEBEE'S

RAGHHHHHHHHH

SHE OWES OODLE OF STOODLE?!!??!? SHE LOST HER JOB AND SHE HAS TO PAY THEM?

MILK WITH VODKA...??

"I don't do this to you" I can tell this will be a giggly episode

OH NO. OH NO. THE HELIO RAT GRINDER CLERIC. OH NO

"It's filled with water!"

SPIKED MILK

"Who's a bad baby?" FABIAN I LOVE YOU

CAN YOU FILL THIS RED SOLO CUP WITH BAD BABY MILK

"I'm self sabotaging" I feel you Kristen. I feel you.

"I know in my heart that in his final moments he must have repented and gone—" "No.... No..."

"You should go to hell sometime"

ANOTHER SHRIMP JUMP

HELL HOUND FORM ART OH MY GOD LOOK AT HANGMAN!!!!!

"Smells good"

"Whatever you didn't like about your old self, you feel like, oh, it's present in this kid who is also drinking water out of a beer can." Brennan why must you be so good at pulling heartstrings

Double Kristen 🔥🔥

MOLMAN HOLDEN

SOIL CLUB

AVIATION CLUB

We got like 18 votes 🔥🔥

With disadvantage? oh no.

omg ivy has the same accent as garthy

"Your family is from Fallinel" her mom is gone and she killed her they can't help pay for the diamond

"Hot dragonborn is about to know your shit"

oh adaine... I understand you so well

Adaine and Fabian duo is so under appreciated I need more of them

"Everyone can suck a nut, fuck off"

There is so much sexual tension between Gorgug and Ragh rn

"If you push me too hard, I'm going to shit"

CARBO LOAD ON MILK?

"I think I ate some glass— there was vodka in it???" Oh Ragh my beloved....

Riz rambling is so real

Oh Ragh I love you, you're trying so hard to help I love you you are perfect

LYDIA'S MESSAGE BACK I LOVE HER

CRUSTACEAN NATION

ohhhh Fabian.....

The High 5 Heroes...

OISIN AND IVY... ARE THEY PART OF THE RAT GRINDERS????

"It's not the library, you can't rip the pages out!"

This is a very duo episode. Fig / Kristen, Fabian / Adaine, Gorgug / Riz

I'm starting to think Kristen is trying to be the president of the steelworker union at this rate

FETTY WAP AT HOMECOMING

"I'm gonna be kick flipping the system"

Fantasy High Senior Year main objective is going to be getting Fetty Wap to homecoming

"It's gonna be weird to not be you. I feel home here."

ohhh Emily what are you strategizing rn

oh no.. I think Ivy noticed her change

Fabian is struggling rn

ADAINE, PARTY WIZARD!!!!!!

"I can impersonate the dead when I want"

So much destruction of Fabian's property this episode

ivy isn't very nice. don't go for our girl mazey

THE ICE MUFFETS

oh is Brennan about to make Fabian choose between Ivy and Mazey? I swear to GOD

oh no..... Fabian.....

Mazey being straight laced (?) But still being the absolute life of the party is so good

"(Murph Sobs)"

Fuck the record labels

"Just trying to decide if I want to be bard any more..." OH?

Rough day for Fabian. So rough.

Murph rollin' better.

At least none of them actually did drugs. Just. The bad baby milk. What is the drinking age of Spyre? I don't know

Bad Kids Apicology Arc

OHHHH I LOVE GERTIE THAT'S SO CUTE THE BEE

oh no Fabian vs Gertie

actually it's more like Fabian vs everyone

NEW NEMESIS DETECTED???? OH MY GOD

Riz panic is so real, them getting kicked out of school would be awful

Tracker and Kristen call...........

oh no....

"I'm gonna be President, bitch."

I relate to Kristen too much, this is painful for me to listen to because it's too real

"Maybe she had a shrimp allergy, you don't fuckin' know"

"I hope your new partner is really fucking hot." Oh Kristen

"Riz you're the only one who is honest with me"

OH THE POTENTIAL OVERLAP........

"Tough but fair. Have a great life" KRISTEN.....

Drunk texting Aelwyn.

I MISS AYDA.

Murph is going full investigator rn

The egg slurry

"Fuck!"

I was NOT expecting Fig to be the one to do a full class switch but honestly it's understandable

"We're having to destroy ourselves to pass these classes." As someone who was severely depressed in high school, I resonate with that statement a little too much.

I want to go to a Lydia lunch

"So what's up" Kristen's god is dead.

"took an orb to the chest"

Oh Lydia.... I want to hug her so tightly.

"God baby hospital"

Now I'm hungry for chicken parm

downtime

STRESS TOKENS?????

looks like next episode is dice rolling

#fhjy spoilers #fantasy high spoilers #fantasy high junior year spoilers #dimension 20 #fantasy high #d20 fantasy high #d20 #dimension 20 fantasy high #fantasy high junior year

[katierosedreams2]

My new favorite Christmas gift 

“Oh my god I love this so much!!” Emma said, letting out a little scream of joy as she took my photo of me going up the escalator at the mall. “I can not believe just how right I was about you Alexa!! Your body is so girly!! No one would ever know you're actually a boy!! I can’t believe I have my own life-size doll!! This is my new favorite Christmas gift I could ever get!!” She continued, not even trying to hide her joy. I guess I should explain exactly how I got here. 

Emma is my stepsister. We're the same age, well she’s older by a few months. Our parents married about ten years ago now. My stepdad was almost never around, and when he was, he would take my mom on some trip or off on some date. He wanted nothing to do with me, much like my own dad who walked out on my mom and me when I was pretty young. A few years later, when I was eight, my mom remarried. She had always wished I was a girl and constantly told me about how she had always wanted a daughter. When she met my stepdad and Emma she just fell in love with Emma and was so happy to have her as a daughter. As I got older, I realized how my mom never let me do topical “boy” stuff. I was only allowed to have girls as friends, watch girly movies, and sometimes she even bought me a jacket or top or pants that were a girl's but were "just too cute to pass up". She so desperately wanted a girl. And once she got Emma she immediately started to spoil her with all kinds of clothes, shoes, make up. She even gave her the bigger bedroom. She pretty much got whatever she wanted.

My weird requirements didn’t go away when that happened. They just got worse. I had to join Emma in ballet and cheerleading all the way through high school. I was forced to join Emma and her friends, not allowed to have friends of my own. I wasn’t allowed to have short “boy” hair either. And most of my clothes were just plain generic men's clothes. I hardly owned anything, most of money went to Emmas' wardrobe. Don't get me wrong, my mom is very nice and loving. She is kind and caring and hasn’t completely ignored me, but it also isn’t a surprise that Emma is her favorite. When we were much younger, my mom and Emma used to have “makeover days” where my mom would teach Emma how to do her make up and dress and move like a lady. 

Emma and I got along right away and were always close. I think she could see how my mom favored her over me and she kind of felt bad about that. She would often try to include me in everything she could so I wouldn’t feel left out. She would often convince me to join her and my mom on their “makeover days” and I would. My mom always seemed to treat me differently once they had finished putting makeup on me. She seemed to love me more and treat me better. Emma also loved being able to treat me like a doll. She loved dolls and always wanted to dress me up and have me be a “life-size doll”. I would always fight that. It was bad enough that my mom wanted me to be a girl, it was even worse that my stepsister and closest friend also wanted me to be one too! 

Christmas was always tough because Emma got just about anything she asked for, not just for Christmas but for the rest of the year too. So I always sucked at getting her gifts. It was always some gift card to some place she liked. Over the last few years, my mom has gotten really sick of it. This year she had gotten so upset that she said now that I’m eighteen years old she would kick me out of the house if I did not step it up and get Emma something truly meaningful. Now I had no job, and was going to the local community college because I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. My parents were very wealthy and while I did have the smallest room in the house, it was still a big room and an incredible house. Also, I know that rent is crazy high, so I wasn’t really excited about the thought of leaving. I told my mom that I would get her a great gift, and then forgot all about our conversation. 

I was getting quite distracted with this new friend I had made, Becka. She was one of Emma's friends. She had met in one of her classes and I had a huge crush on her. It broke my heart when Emma told me that Becka thought that her “gay stepbrother” was so much fun. I wasn’t gay. I'm not exactly why so many people have mistaken me as gay throughout my life. I asked Emma if she had corrected her about that, but she said no, that the conversation just moved on, and she thought it would be weird to just bring it back up. Becka also hadn’t brought it up to me directly, so I thought it would be weird to just throw that out there. So I tried to see if, over time, I could convince her that not only was I straight, but that I was into her. We talked a bunch, and she often invited me to hang out with her and Emma. But soon after that conversation with my mom, Becka started asking me to just hand out even when Emma was busy. 

I, of course, was super excited to spend time with her, just the two of us. She was a lot more touchy-feely with me. Constantly holding my hand or putting her arm around my waist. She was also a lot more personal with the things she shared and would act flirtatiously with me even! It never came up that she thought I was gay, but I was suspicious that she still might think I was. She would constantly send me things, like clothes, shoes, nails, makeup, or hairstyles and ask what I thought about them. I wasn’t sure if that was because she still might think I was gay though. She did seem really satisfied with my answers, but I’ve been having those conversations with my mom and Emma my whole life. So maybe I just had a good eye for that stuff? Or maybe she wanted to see what I liked, so she could look good for me? That thought got me wondering about that even more and I desperately wanted to know the answer. So this just led to us hanging out and talking even more. 

Emma and my mom both noticed that I had taken an interest in Becka, unlike any of the other gal friends I had in the past. Emma thought that it was good that I was finally having "girl" talk all on my own. My mom seemed to agree and they both seemed to encourage our interactions. Before I knew it, however, it was the week of Christmas and I realized I hadn’t gotten Emma anything! I started to panic because I had no idea what to get her! I looked through every single online store I knew she liked, often asking Becka what her thoughts were about this skirt, or dress, or shoes or something. But Becka would point out that most of them wouldn’t make it in time for Christmas. I had told her about the ultimatum my mom had given me, and Becka was surprised I had given her such bad gifts. She said I had such great taste and clearly cared for Emma. She said that no clothes could be meaningful enough to make up for all the years I gave such bad gifts. I needed to do better.

She encouraged me to think back over all the years and see if there was anything that Emma always wanted but never got. If I could get her that, then I would give her a gift that would be truly meaningful. It took me awhile, going back in my mind over every purse, top, heels, makeup, everything I could think of that she wanted through the years. Just to realize she had gotten them all. There was nothing I could think of. And then I saw an ad for a “makeover day” from some salon, and I remembered all of those days my Mom Emma and I used to do. How she always wanted to dress me up and be her doll. I decided that it was free, quick, and meaningful. After all, it was the gift she always wanted and never got. It was the gift my Mother had always wanted too, she just never asked for it directly. She loved Emma, and was so glad to have her as a daughter, but she still truly wished that I had been born a girl. So I thought it would be my gift to them both. Emma could have her doll for the day and my mom could have her second daughter for the day. All I would have to do is wear some makeup and some girls' clothes for the day around the house, and they would both be happy. 

So a few days before Christmas I wrote a card to Emma saying that I would be her doll and that she could dress me up however she wanted and I'd do whatever she wanted. In hindsight, I should have worded that very differently. I though shed put some makeup on me, have me try on a few things, see how silly I looked, and then we would just hang around and watch some Christmas movies or something. I also wrote a card to my Mom and told her that I would be Emmas' doll to dress up and command and that I would also be her “daughter” too. We could have a nice time just the three of us and have a special dinner. I knew my stepdad was out of the country for the rest of the year working and wouldn't be home.

I gave them both the cards that morning with the coffee I had prepared for them. They both looked at me suspiciously as I brought them their coffees on a tray with my handmade letters. They both took their coffees and had a sip, then proceeded to both read my cards. As they read, both of their jaws dropped almost in unison as the joy and realization of what I had just given them washed over their minds. They both looked at each other in shock. “Oh MY GOD!!! NO WAY!! I FINALLY GET TO MAKE YOU MY DOLL AFTER ALL THESE YEARS!!!” Emma screamed with excitement and she started to cry. The reality of all these years wanting and finally getting was almost too much. My mother was already crying. You could tell she was in a storm of emotions. She felt bad and guilty for wishing I was a girl, but grateful for this opportunity and excited to have me as one of her daughters. They both hugged me together and cried. I couldn’t believe just how big of a gift this actually was to them. 

After a good cry and lots of appreciative thanks, the excitement quickly overtook them and Emma rushed off to her room to see what I could wear. I’m very skinny for a boy, and I'm not that tall either, only 5’6”. My mother was wiser and came out with a measuring tape to take my measurements to see if id even fit. It wasn’t very rewarding to hear we were both the exact same size, a woman’s small. Emma was overjoyed with the news that everything in her huge walk in closet was game. She hardly knew where to start. My mom suggested that we start with “her” makeup and hair, and then have fun seeing which outfits we would like to see “her” in. My mom and Emma both seemed so excited, and all too natura,l to start calling me female pronouns, almost as if they had been doing it behind my back for years. 

Emma thought my Mom's idea was a great one, and they started to look for makeup inspiration. Emma commanded me to, in the meantime, go take a shower in her bathroom and use her soap and to shave off everything below my eyelashes. I felt like that was little too much for this one day, but I didn’t want to start this off by arguing against it, so I did what she commanded. I hardly had any body hair, mostly just a little in my armpits and my pubs, and some peach fuzz on my arms and legs. I wasn’t a hairy guy at all. So there wasn’t a lot of work to do. It did feel weird being completely hairless though. I dried myself off with Emmas' big fluffy light pink towels and felt kind of weird drying off my smooth skin. I looked at myself naked and hairless in her full-length mirror. I hadn’t seen my naked body like this before. I didn’t have a full-length mirror in my bathroom. I wasn’t very excited by what I saw. Maybe it was just because I had just shaved my whole body, or maybe because I smelled strongly like a girl, or maybe because I was in such a girly-looking light pink bathroom, but what I was seeing made me think I might regret this decision to be their doll. Staring back at me in the mirror was a long bond hair, tiny waist, hour-glass figure, no boobs, big hips, big ass, tiny little microndick, trans looking girl. My heart sank. I didn’t think I looked this way!!

I looked down at my dick, from this angel it didn’t look that small, not big or anything, but in the mirror it looked like it was just this little nub. And I had no idea I had such girly hips! I had almost no muscle tone, which didn’t help me either. I wrapped the towel around me and headed back into Emma's room. My mother and Emma were in a frenzy getting the makeup out and all the outfits they wanted to see me in. When they noticed my arrival, my mother expressed how me in a towel simply won’t do, that I needed to go put on one of Emmas robes. I just nodded my head and went back into her bathroom and looked in the back of the door at her robe collection. There were some fuzzy long ones, long and short satin ones, as well as long and short sheer ones. As I was looking between them, I head Emmas shout from her room for me to wear the short light pink satin one. It hardly covered past my butt, but the smooth feel of the satin wrapped around my smooth naked body felt amazing. 

I walked out to see the two of them hovering around Emmas' vanity comparing photos of different makeup looks. I stood and waited patiently for them to decide. My mother told me to sit down. I looked at myself in the mirror, I felt like I had made a very bad chose, but it already felt too late to change my mind, they were both so clearly excited about this. They decided on the look and then my mother left to get herself ready for the day and Emma got to work on my makeup. As she worked away, I got a little glimpse of her progress in the mirror, but she had me mostly facing away from it, or closing my eyes weirdly, or making some silly face. I couldn't tell if that was for her internment or because she actually needed me to make that face. I also never saw their reference photos, so I had no idea how I was going to turn out. 

My mother returned, and her makeup was done to the extreme, like she was going on a night out. She looked stunning. She’s always kept great care of her appearance and looked incredibly youthful for her age. Finally, I got to see all the work Emma did on me, and I couldn’t believe my own eyes!! There was no way that sexy blond bombshell staring back at me was me!! I couldn’t ever believe I was a guy!! Emma was very proud of her work, commenting on how pretty I was, and how I was more beautiful than most of the girls she knew. My mom seemed to feel the same way. I didn’t want to agree with them, but I felt like they were right. My mother then got to work on my hair and my nails as Emma did her makeup. She went all out to match my and my mom's appearance. You’d think there were just three girls getting ready to go clubbing or something, but it was only like nine in the morning! Emma seemed to work much faster on herself, then she did on me, and by the time my hair was done, she was almost done with her own makeup. I finished my coffee finally as I waited. I just sat and listened to them talk about how they should dress me. 

Then my mom said that it's hard to tell exactly what they are working with, they had only seen me in silly boy clothes after all. She looked at me and said, “Stand up sweetie, take off your robe, let's see what your body looks like, girl!” I was surprised and shocked by this. I just stared confused, “That's a great idea mom! Let's see, Alexa, what kind of figure you have! It’ll make this decisions so much easier.” Emma chimed in. My voice shook as I nervously replied, “you want to see me, naked?!”  My mother, kind of annoyed of me for even questioning her, “Yes, you heard me, take your robe off. Don’t be so silly about this, I’m your mother. I changed your dippers! And she’s your sister. We are all family here. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” I wasn’t sure what to do, but I felt like this was a battle I was going to lose anyway. She was right, we are family. I slowly untied the satin belt and let the robe slide off my shoulders as it fell to the ground. 

My mother and sister gasped loudly at the sight of my naked body. “oh my god” my mother hardly got out from under her breath as she clearly couldn't believe her own eyes. “Holy shit Alexa!! You have like a perfect woman's body!!!” Emma said with both excitement and shock. They then both just stared, stunned and overwhelmed by what they were looking at. Their eyes just moving up and down, studding every inch of me, their mouths hung open in shock. “Turn around, let's see your back side.” My mother hardly got out, the mixture of excitement and shock clear in her voice. I slowly spun around, my face so red from embarrassment I could feel the heat in my cheeks. As I showed them my back, another stunned “oh my god” was let out from both of them. I completed my slow spin with my face looking at the floor, my eyes watering as the tears welled up. I knew why they were so shocked. It's because of how girly my body was, I just never knew it was that bad. 

“Honey, I had no idea, this whole time it was like the universe was answering my dreams! You have one of the most perfect feminine figures I’ve ever seen! I mean your missing some boobs, but that can always be fixed. And your little thing is so incredibly unbelievably small! No one would even notice! Most guys wouldn’t even care you're a boy with how little it is, and how sexy and feminine the rest of your body is! They would be desperate to have a sexy little thing like you!” My mother spoke so quickly as her excitement took over her shock. This energy seemed to be contagious as Emma quickly jumped in. “Oh my god, I can’t believe just how right she is!! Or that I’m jealous of my stepbrother's body!!” I knew that was silly, Emma was one of the prettiest girls I know, and all the guys want to date her, she could literally be a model. “You couldn’t be more girly!! You really are so small, I think some girls' clits might be bigger than that! And why are your balls almost nonexistent? They are like the size of marbles, if even! Oh my god, this day is going to be even more fun than I thought it would be!! Mom, this changes so much about how we thought we would dress her!” Emma and my mother started to talk as they rushed into her closet to pick stuff out, leaving me to stand there desperately trying not to cry from my humiliation and embarrassment.

I tried so hard to contain myself as the experience of what had just happened and what had just been said about me soaked in. Their reactions were far too genuine to be fake, far too shocked and sincere. They really did think I looked like a sexy woman, and apparently, that my dick is so incredibly tiny and my body is the essence of femininity that most men would be happy to overlook the hard to believe fact that I was even a male just to have sex with me. I can’t believe it, I tried so hard to convince myself for years that I was just being silly. That my body didn’t look that feminine, that I did look like a guy. I hid myself in baggy clothes to clear up any thoughts that someone might have about my body being girly. 

“Alexa, here, put these on sweetie.” My mother said, breaking me from my quick spiral into depression by handing me a small black g string thong. I was so numb at the moment I just took them, and without thinking, slipped them up my legs. Emma let out a laugh. ”Oh my god, I can’t even tell you have anything in your panties you're so small!! You were meant to be a girl because there's not a woman on earth who'd want that little thing!” My mother tried to cover up her laughter too. They both just thought it was so funny how much of a failure as a man I was. Emma then pulled out a very tiny black vinyl pleated micro skirt. “How’s this?” She said with an almost wicked smile on her face. My mom, as if reading her mind, knew exactly what she meant. “Yes! You pick out the top, I'll grab the stockings and the heels.!!” The excitement they both shared almost couldn’t be contained as they rushed quickly to complete the outfit.  

My mother handed me a pair of sheer stockings. I knew how to put them on, although I had never actually done it before. I sat down and carefully rolled them up, trying not to tear the delicate fabric with my long fake nails. I slowly rolled them up my legs, taking great care as well. I then tried my best to match the tops and made sure they both looked nice. By the time I had finished, they had assembled the rest of the outfit. Emma motioned to the clothes laid out on her bed. “A sexy fun black vinyl off the shoulder crop top, to match the black vinyl sexy flirtatious skirt. Its perfect skirt for you because its very, very “MICRO”, just like you!” Emma and my mom both laughed at that. “And to top it off, these perfect six inch black patient leather “fuck me” pumps!” This caused them to both giggle again. 

I already felt defeated, and just wanted to get this over with. I angrily grabbed the top. I immediately loved the feeling of the smooth vinyl in my hands. I slid on the top and as soon as I got it on Emma walked over and shoved two pieces of silicon into the top. It looked like I had small boobs! “What is that?” I asked, confused as to why she had this. “Sometimes you want the girls to seem a little bit larger, you stuff this in the bottom of your bra and no one knows! But they'll turn your no cup into a B cup! Your girly figure is even more complete!!” She said with pride in her voice. My mom thought that was a very nice touch. I sighed, I had no fight in me, and dreaded making this even worse as I slid the skirt on and zipped it up. It hardly covered the front of me, and only covered two thirds of my butt. “Oh my god your ass is so big and perky the skirt can’t even cover it! How do guys not hit on you every day with a booty that fuckable?” They both laughed again. My face red with embarrassment again, I slipped on the pumps and stood there feeling ridiculous, vulnerable, humiliated, and terrified about how well I resembled a sexy slutty girl that most men would fantasize about. 

Then I noticed my mother and Emma had their phones out!! “Wait, are you taking pictures?!” I was horrified at the thought of any proof of this existing. “No sweetie, I’m filming this whole thing! This is just too precious to miss!” My mom said, smiling “I’m the one taking pictures! Hey, that’s a great idea! Let's have a photo shoot!!” Emma said with such excitement. “No please! I don’t want anyone to see this!” I desperately tried to plead to them. But they clearly didn’t care. “To bad girly! Start posing!” Emma shot back as she then started commanding me into poses that a girl would make in sexually suggestive ways. My mother continued to film. I looked down at myself as I reluctantly posed for them. I couldn’t see a single hint of masculinity. I hoped so desperately that this would had gone differently. That they would had dressed me up, saw how ridiculous I looked, and then moved on. But when Emma showed me some of the photos she took of me and I saw that the girl in the photos was the exact type of girl I would have touched myself too, I knew this was far far from over. 

They picked out more outfits for me to model and take photos in. They were either something slutty a girl would wear to attract the attention of a guy, or ultra feminine outfits that only the most girl girls would wear, or some combination of both. This went on for hours. Finally, around one thirty, they decided to take a break and asked me to go make them both an iced coffee. They instructed that I stay dressed how I was. My pink vinyl pleaser adore snadels clicked on the tile floors as I worked. My white stockings with a light pink bow at the top were held up by the white garter belt lingerie set I was wearing. My tight light pink micro leather skirt that hardly covered my butt. It was hard to lean over or breathe from the very tight white leather corset they had wrapped around my torso. I felt so ridiculous because I was so aware how girly and sexy I looked. 

When I returned, they had a new outfit laid out on the bed. A pair of five inch chunky heel black vinyl booties, red vinyl pants, a tight sheer white long sleeve crop top with a plain black pushup bra to wear underneath and a cropped leather jacket with fur trim. Emma was going through her closet picking out more clothes. My mom was on her phone. When I entered, she stood and took the coffee from me. “Wow, that outfit really suits you!" She said with a sparkle in her eye. "Thank you my little princess, I love you so much more as my daughter! Now be a good girl and go put on your new outfit, I’m going to go get ready too.” She said as she walked out of the room. “Get ready for what?” I yelled out to her but she didn't respond. Emma emerged from her closet half dressed, she took her coffee from me, as she turned to reenter her closet she casually said, “To go to the mall of course princess! Were going shopping!” “What!!??!!” I blurted out as fear washed over me. “You heard me girl! Go get dressed!” Emma responded with no empathy for me. 

“No way! I can’t go to the mall looking like this!!” I started to panic. “I don’t want you to go the the mall looking like this!” Emma  turned around quickly with anger in her eyes and yelled as she gestured up and down my outfit. “You look like a total slut! No, I want you to go to the mall looking like that!” She pointed to the outfit on her bed. “You said that you would do whatever I asked! You weren’t lying to me, were you?? Are you really going to ruin the best Christmas present I’ve ever received? Or the best present moms ever received?” She said sternly. I was quiet and afraid. I also felt guilty, but I didn't want to be seen by anyone I knew. “But what if someone recognizes me?” I shyly spoke. “Girl, I don’t even recognize you! There is no way anyone else could! Not go get dressed!” Emma turned and went back into her closet, and with that, the conversation was over. I hesitated, but I knew I really didn’t have much of a chose. I couldn’t untie the corset with my long nails and Emma had to help me. 

I felt so nervous as I sat in the car on our way to the mall. Emma sat in the front seat and kept taking selfies of herself, my mom driving, with me in the back. I noticed she was posting them to her story on Insta. “You're not posting that are you?!” I said, the fear clear in my voice. “Yeah, but I never said it was you, I only said that I was on a girls trip to the mall with the fam.” She said like it was no big deal. “Stop fighting girls. Alexa, leave Emma alone, she can post whatever she wants. Besides, we're almost at the mall, and girls don’t fight at the mall. Do you understand a little miss?”she said sternly as she looked at me in the rear view mirror. “Yes.” I said, upset and defeated.  “Good girl.” She said with a smile clearly pleased with how girly and obedient I was being.

The mall was, of course, super busy with all the holiday shopping people were doing, so we had to park pretty far from the entrance to the mall. My heart was racing as I got out of the car and a shiver ran up my back as the cold winter air hit my exposed mid drift. As we walked the long way through the parking lot, the sound of all of our heels clicking echoed loudly, calling for the attention of everyone nearby. Right away I noticed some guy just staring at us. I was completely humiliated. I can’t believe it, but I was really hoping Emma was right that no one would recognize me as a man. That would be more embarrassing than people just thinking I was a slutty girl. I did notice that both Emma and my mom had done their makeup to match mine in its intensity and very “extra” nature, their outfits were cute and trendy, but didn’t call for the same amount of attention as the outfit they put me in. My mom whispered to me “sway your hips a little more sweetie, really move them more, let your whole body get pulled along by your hips.” 

I did as I was told, but out of spite I tried to completely over dramatize it. I felt completely ridiculous and was sure my mom would tell me to knock it off and tone it down, but instead she seemed to love it. “Perfect job sweetie! That’s mom’s good little girl! Don’t you dare walk any differently this entire time, or you’ll only be wearing g string thongs and short skirts for the rest of your life! Do you understand?” her intensity showed that she was serious. “Yes mom.”  I was scared by her threat, she really meant it. As we got close to the doors to the mall there were tons of people around already, just coming and going, but all the people were staring at us as they went on their way. I saw a group of boys I knew from high school who had picked on me and, unfortunately, one of them saw me looking at them, and he must have thought I was checking him out or something because he smiled in a creepy way and winked at me as he said. “Hey babygirl, what are you doing later? You want a BIG Christmas gift?” His budds laughed as they stared at me, this lust clear in their eyes. I looked at the ground to hide how embarrassed I was. But I was thankful that he clearly didn’t recognize me. 

Both Emma and my mother thought it was entertaining for me to get hit on. “Why don’t you blow him a kiss Alexa!” Emma teased me. “No!” I tried to get out under my breath. “Alexa, you said you’d be Emmas' doll and do whatever she said, now follow through on your Christmas gift and blow those strong good looking boys a very flirtatious kiss.” My heart beating so fast as I realized just how screwed I was. I had no pride left to swallow, so I did as I was told and blew them a kiss in a very dramatic gesture. My mom and Emma both giggled as we walked past them and entered the mall. My life was never going to be the same after this.   

Our first stop was one of the first stores we came across. It was clearly a woman’s only store that seemed to only carry trendy clothes. Emma and my mom were both so excited, and they immediately got straight into shopping, looking at the clothes with such judgment and speed that you’d think it was their job. I just followed along next to them as they constantly held up one idem to me after another, both quickly gathering a small group of clothes. Emma looked at me, and noticed I had nothing, and was doing nothing. “Look sis, you’ve been on enough shopping trips with us to know how this works. It's just this time it's YOU we are shopping for. Now get to it and start looking for things you think are cute, trendy, or sexy. If it's not one of those three, move on. If it is, hold onto it, then you’ll go try them on. Let's work fast, this is only our first stop, and we only have a few more hours before the mall closes!” She then got right back to rifling through the racks of clothes. 

She was right, I had been dragged along on these shopping trips my whole life, I knew most of the stores, I knew the “mission” of each trip. This time we were looking for trendy, cute, or sexy. Sometimes it's classy, or timeless, conservative, comfy, athletic, etc. I sighed as I accepted my task and got to work. It was actually helpful to keep my mind occupied instead of constantly worrying about what people were thinking of me, and why they were staring at me. Was it because they thought I was a super pretty girl? Or did they think I was some weird boy dressed as a girl? Neither made me feel good. But that all faded as I looked through the clothes. It was familiar and comforting. Before too long, the three of us had covered every inch of that store and met up at the dressing rooms, each with a dozen or so items. 

“In you go sweetie! Remember we want to see every piece.” My mom commanded as she gestured to the changing room. I tried on one thing after another. Each time I came out and did a little modeling for them. They would have me turn around, and then judge it yes or no. My mom took the yeses once I had gotten them off and Emma took the no’s. Once I was finally back out in the clothes in the clothes I came in with, Emma was the only one waiting for me. “Where’s mom?” Emma started off walking as I rushed to fallow. “She’s at the register buying your new clothes silly!” She was walking so fast that I was struggling in my high heels to keep up as we waved our way through the store avoiding other shoppers and displays. “What do you mean my new clothes?!” I shouted back as I tried my best to keep up. 

We exited the store to find my mother standing waiting for us with a shopping bag in her hand. As soon as we got to my mom, she took off, walking to the next store at a quick pace. Emma kept up just fine, but I felt like I could fall at any moment at that speed. Swaying my hips like my mother demanded was not the fastest way to walk. I repeated myself this time so they both could hear me. “What do you mean buying MY new clothes?!” the nervousness in my voice was clear. “What don’t you understand about that statement?” Emma replied as they were quickly getting farther away from me. I couldn’t go their pace and my mind was running so fast. Why would they be buying me girls clothes?? This is just for one day!? Just then, a slap on my ass brought me back to reality and I looked at the tall black guy who was clearly the only one close enough to do that. Even in my heels he towered over me. He just gave me a wink and said, “Hey baby girl.” In his deep voice. I was immediately filled with fear at the vulnerable nature I was in and wished I didn't look like a sexy girl or was forced to dress and walk like a slut. 

Not knowing how to respond to this, “Hi.” I hardly squeezed out as I tried to walk away as quickly as I could. Emma and my mom noticed the whole thing, and they thought it was so funny as they giggled entering the next store. It was there that I finally caught back up to them. “ I don’t understand why we're buying ME clothes? This was just for today! And that's almost over!” I was frantic and overwhelmed by everything going on. “One day? I didn’t see a time frame anywhere on the card you wrote. Besides, you're too perfect of a girl for this to just be one day!” Emma said, so matter of fact. My mother then said coldly“Emmas' right Alexa. You're the second daughter I've always wanted, and the sister Emma deserves. So, if you are going to continue to live at my house rent free and have me pay for everything, then you will do so as my daughter. Full time. Every second, of every day. No exceptions. If you want to be a silly little pathetic boy that no girl would ever want, then you will move out and pay your own way through life. But you will be written out of my will, and you will receive no help from me either. Now you can have the rest of the day to think about this. But in the meantime, you will help us shop and enjoy the rest of our Christmas gift. And if you decide to leave us tonight, then these clothes Emma can wear, so there’s nothing lost there. Now go shop.” 

She then went right back to shopping, as if she didn’t just tell me that I'll either live the rest of my life as a girl or be forced to not be a part of the family anymore. Well, now I had this crazy thing in my mind as I tried to shop. It was not easy with my mind racing, and I was much slower. I was completely numb as I went through the rest of the day. Going from store to store, looking at a bunch of clothes, then trying them on, then buying more. As the bags grew in numbers in our hands, I just grew more numb, almost on autopilot, hardly able to think, and only had simple short responses. My mom and Emma seemed to be loving this whole day, however. Once the bags got too many for us to carry, we walked back to the car to drop them off, then headed back inside the mall to now shop on the second story.

 As we took the escalator up, Emma snapped another picture of me. “Oh my god I love this so much!!” Emma said, letting out a little scream of joy as she took my photo of me.“I can not believe just how right I was about you Alexa!! Your body is so girly!! No one would ever know you're actually a boy!! I can’t believe I have my own life size doll!! This is my new favorite Christmas gift I could ever get!!” She continued, not even trying to hide her joy. Once we got to the top, she stopped me and gave me a huge hug. I could feel just how happy she was. I wonder if she could feel the emotional battle I was experiencing. I looked at my mother, and I saw a pure joy on her face I had never seen before. She was clearly cherishing every single moment of this. As soon as Emma stopped hugging me, my mother did. She then held my face with such warmth and joy in her voice. “You truly are beautiful, and no matter what, I’ll always be proud that you're my child.” She then started to tear up at little and walked off to the next store. None of this helped me fight the battle I was expiring in my heart. I didn’t want to be a girl! But I also love my mom and Emma, and they seem so much happier with me as a girl. Plus, my mom has so much money, I would probably never have to work a day in my life.

As we approached yet another store my heart broke even more. I didn’t even know it could get even worse than it was. A voice spoke loudly behind me “Hey “Alexa”!! Damn, you sure look good girl!!” I recognized it immediately as Becka. My face turned bright red, and I was frozen in place. I was too terrified to face her. Emma was next to me and turned to her super excited. I slowly turned as the two girls greeted each other. “Becka you made it!!” Emma seemed so happy and cheerful. “Of course! I got your message and I had to come see this girl! I have to say, Emma, you under sold just how pretty she is!!” Becka couldn’t take her eyes off of me. “Wow, I really am stunned! You are one of the prettiest girls I’ve ever seen!! I can not believe that you’re the same person! Girl, I always knew you were a gay little slut deep down!! You are going to be able to get as many guys as you want with that perky ass, little waist, and big dick sucking lips!! I am so excited to have a new girl in our group!! But I need to be honest, I always saw you as a girl anyway, you were just too feminine for anyone to see you as a boy. And now that I see you all dolled up, I can't blame Emma and your mom for keeping you this way, it would be a true crime to the world to keep this girl disguised as a boy for even one more day!!” Becka was truly so excited and couldn’t get over just how girly I looked. 

She got right into shopping with us as the conversation about my future took place between the three girls. I just listened to them figure out my own fate as I looked for girly clothes that I'd be forced to wear in this future. They talked about wardrobes, room decorations, going back to school as a girl, workout routines. They even went as far as me taking HRT, getting a boob job, getting castrated or permanently locked in a flat chastity, and dating men. Dating a lot of men. That part Becka and Emma seemed extra excited about, it made them giggle a lot. My mom even seemed supportive of all of their ideas. I was not allowed to object, it was their decision to make, and I was just to listen to them figure out the exact terms of conditions if I was to stay a part of this family. I was terrified at what I was hearing. As we shopped, every time the girls noticed a man checking me out, they made me do something to further humiliate me as they had me flirt subtly with each of them. They had me blow kisses, wink, check out the guy back, shake my ass at him or bend over to show him my ass. They thought it was so entertaining. 

As we finished up at the last store, I was thankful for this trip to the mall to finally be over, so we could go home, and I can try and move on from this day. We had bought so many clothes, lingerie, makeup, purses, and shoes, none of which, by the way, were less than a four inch heel! Becka helped us carry all the bags back to our car. There were so many bags that they took up so much space that I could hardly even sit in the back seat. My mom drove us to go have dinner as her and Emma talked. Becka was going to meet us where we were going. I had no idea where that was, but to be honest, my feet hurt so bad that I didn’t even care, I was just so glad to finally be sitting down. 

We pulled up to what looked like some kind of sports bar, I noticed it was full of drunk men, and my heart sank. My nightmare was far from over. Emma had me touch up my makeup and add even more lip gloss. As we got out of the car, my mother reminded me how she wanted me to walk, and I felt like a piece of meat, dressed like a slut, being forced to walk like a slut, into the lions' den. My heart was beating so fast as our heels clicked away as we entered the bar. These four glammed up girls called for the attention of everyone as soon as we walked in the door. All the men and what little women there were immediately checked us out. I was again wishing I wasn’t the slutiest dressed one. The men couldn’t seem to stop staring at me as we waited by the door to be seated. 

This very pretty hostess showed up after a short time. “Well, don’t you four ladies look stunning! Be careful with the men here, they can come on pretty strong. Especially you sweetie, your outfits is tots cute, but the guys here might like it a little too much if you know what I mean?” She said cheerfully as she winked at me. “Don’t worry, that’s why we’re here, and that’s why she’s dressed this way, this girl needs some action!” Emma said, excited about the news. “This bitch wants to be near some hot studs who will defiantly hit on her! She needs a little self-esteem boost! A reminder that men want her. “ Becka chimed in. The hostess giggled “Well, in that case, I know just where to put you! The men are going to be all over you!” “Perfect! Let’s get this slutty princess some big dick to suck on!” Becka said kind of loudly so some of the guys nearby heard. She leaned in and whispered to me,"Don’t worry, I’m going to make your gay fantasies finally come true! I think it's so hot helping hook up two guys! Or even more! It's one of my favorite hobbies! And you are so fucking sexy even straight guys would want to use your girly little body!” I was completely humiliated, I didn’t want this!

 We followed her to the table, which was quite tall, more like a mini bar, that was in the center of the place. We sat on tall bar stools, so guys could check us out from every angle of the bar. If I looked anywhere but the menu, the table, or the girls, all I saw was men checking me out. It was terrifying! Especially now that I know Emmas' and Beckas' true intentions! My mom seemed to even encourage their behavior. I was screwed and had no help from anyone. I had no appetite even though we hadn’t eaten all day. I was happy to be sitting again though. How do girls wear heels all day? I guess that’s why less and less do now these days. The waitress showed up and took our order. My mother got a cocktail, the rest of us us just got water, and we all decided to get salads. As soon as she left, the guys started coming up. Sure they tried to seem casual, just passing by or something, but they all wanted to stop and talk to me. Emma made me give out my insta to all of them. That way they could all dm me. Several of them would even touch me. Putting their hand on the small of my back or even right on my ass as they spoke to me. 

I tried so hard not to totally freak out and run away, but I think they thought my disinterest was just me playing hard to get. The more I tried to blow them off, the more aggressive they would be and the longer they would stick around. I learned that if I wanted to get rid of them quickly, I should just comply and give them my info, and they would then leave. By the time we had finished and left the bar, my ass had been slapped ten times, patted twelve, grabbed over twenty, and I had given out my info to over thirty guys. Emma and Becka also got hit on and gave out their info too, but they didn’t get quite the attention I got. My mom even got hit on a handful of times, but she just told them she was happily married to a man with a huge cock. That seemed to turn the guys down real quick. 

I was the first one out the door and let me tell you I sure was thankful to have that be over. Becka was going to meet us back at our house. I just wanted this day to be over! By the time we had gotten home, I was so tired, I was emotionally drained by this day. It didn’t go how I thought it would have at all. The girls took as many bags as they could and headed right for my room. I grabbed all that I could and hesitated to follow them to my room. My mind was racing with every step. Do I really want this to be my future? Do I really want to continue life as a girl in exchange for their support and money? I knew just how expensive everything was and how underpaid most people are. I wasn’t sure if I could do that on my own. 

The girls dropped off the bags in my room and Emma started rummaging through them as my mom and Becka left to go get more bags. Emma pulled out some clothes and a shoe box, “Go put this on princess, and touch up your lips too.” She commanded as she handed the items to me on her way out the door. I took the outfit and walked into the bathroom. I looked in the mirror, still not recognizing the reflection of the pretty girl looking back at me as myself. I took my time and carefully reapplied the lip liner, lipstick, and then the lip gloss to recreate the look that Emma had made on me. I then undressed myself, carefully folded Emma's clothes in a nice pile. I took the black leather halter top she had picked and put it on. I put the silicon inserts back in to make it look like I had small boobs. I knew that’s what Emma wanted. Then I slipped on the black leather micro circle skirt. It was so short it couldn’t even cover all of my butt, a small amount was peeking out from the bottom. I opened the shoe box and pulled out the thigh high black leather high heel boots and zipped them up. I was so broken, looking down at myself and seeing the girly body dressed like a slut, the exact thing I would jerk off too. I was any and wet dream. Could I really accept this as my life?? 

I exited my bathroom to find that the girls had brought up the rest of the bags and were just finishing taking all of my clothes from my closet and putting them in a pile by the door. As my mom handed Emma the last item, I noticed her taking a pair of sizers and cutting them so they could never be worn again. A wicked smile came across her face as she noticed the shock and realization of what they had done set in and became visible. “What- what did you do!?” I was frantic as I rushed to check my dresser, it was completely empty, so was the closet. “Mom gave you a chose to make. These are your new clothes.” Emma said, gesturing to the large amount if bags on the floor and the outfit I was wearing. “You can either accept and be her new daughter, and my sister, or you can leave and be completely on your own. But she paid for these boy clothes, they’re hers, not yours. Same with the car you’re allowed to drive, the phone you use or anything else really!” My mouth just hung open in shock as I listened to Emma speak. My mother walked up and stood behind her, clearly supporting what she was saying.

“So you can either help us put YOUR new clothes away in YOUR new cute little outfit. Or you can leave. Right now. Without wearing MY new cute little outfit. But I’m not that mean. As a going away gift I'll let you keep that g string and the makeup you’re wearing, so you’re not completely naked. But that will be all that you own, that will be the only thing in the whole world to your name. It seems the least I can do, since I won't ever see you again.” her evil smile grew, and was matched by my mother behind her. They knew they had me cornered. I had no choice but to agree. “So what will it be “Alexa”? Are you going to be a good girl? Or a homeless girly boy with nothing but a thong?” My mom added sternly, upset with my quite stalling. “I’m sure the police won’t like that, but I’m sure the men in prison would LOVE that!” Becka snickered. She was clearly enjoying this. 

With my head hung low and tears filled my eyes, I tried to speak, but I couldn’t even get a single word out. My whole world had crumbled, and I had no choice but to accept my life long, never ending imprisonment in femininity. I opened my mouth to speak, the girls clearly waiting with anticipation for my response, but I couldn’t even make a sound. I couldn’t verbally admit my fate as a girl. Instead, I hung my head, and whipped the tears from my eyes as carefully as I could to not ruin my makeup. I slowly started to walk, the girls clearly confused by my actions, but it all became clear as I slowly reached down and grabbed a short little vinyl dress from one of the bags and walked into the closet to hang it up. “Good choice.” Emma said, as my mother and Becka agreed. They all laughed, very pleased with themselves for the destruction of the rest of my male life. They then started to help by grabbing items and taking them into the closet to be hung. I tried my best not to completely cry as the girls talked about how excited they were about my chose. Becka loved teasing me about my future, and all the men that Emma and her were going to make me please. She loved rubbing that in. 

Once we finished putting everything away, the girls decided it was very late, and they thought it was time for bed. They both wished me goodnight as my mom and Emma left for their rooms to go to bed. Becka went into her purse and pulled out a long box. “Practice up girl, Emma and I are taking you out for a party on New Years. We expect you to be a complete expert with your mouth, so you won't embarrass us by then. I know you'll have fun!” She said with a wink as she left my room. I opened it up and pulled out a huge ten inch realistic dildo. Once she closed my door and I was finally left alone, I started to cry uncontrollably as I collapsed to my knees in tears with the dildo sill in my hands. I knew I had to do this. I didn't want to, but I had to be a good girl. I had to be a good little slutty girl for the rest of my life. 

-Katierosedreams Og Cap

[blueindigo17]

hi writeblr!! it's nice to meet you!!

I’ve had this blog for years but never posted anything bc to be honest I was a little afraid of tumblr when I first joined, but recently I decided that since I like talking about my wips so much to my friends/family irl, why not blog about them? I also want to find some writing mutuals, since I like hearing about people’s stories just as much as I like telling them about mine. Feel free to interact, follow, message, etc. I love making friends :D

About me <3

My name is Allie, but I go by Blue or BlueIndigo online. Feel free to use any of those :)

My pronouns are she/her

I’m 19, which also happens to be my favorite number :)

I have five wips, 96 characters (about half of which with a birthday I celebrate like it were my own), and yet very few words actually written (some words plotted though. look at me go!)

I'm kinda in between fandoms at the moment, however I want to start watching Criminal Minds bc I've never seen it and I have a feeling I'm gonna get sucked into the fandom immediately lol

I am a MASSIVE swiftie (favorite album is 1989 TV), and I listen to a lot of 5SOS, Olivia Rodrigo, Conan Gray, and Harry Styles

I love reading !! My favorite author is Taylor Jenkins Reid & favorite books are Malibu Rising, Carrie Soto Is Back, and Daisy Jones & The Six.

I play ukulele, and I've written a handful of songs for one of my wips (more on that later)

I use these emoticons :) :D <3 in practically every sentence

I have a thing where my wip titles have to make good acronyms or I don’t use them. idk why either.

I love talking about my WIPs to the point of annoyance.

Speaking of talking, #blueindigo says things for non-wip related stuff <3

I like to write…

Realistic fiction

Contemporary fiction

Young adult/new adult

Coming of age

Romance

LGBTQ+ characters

Found family

pretty much just people being people :)

More about my wips below !!

My WIPs

Never Have We Ever (NHWE)

Tags: #wip: never have we ever #wip: NHWE

Summary: Liz has the best friends a girl could ask for. Harley, Mikey, and Natasha have been her people since elementary school, and Trevor and Amanda since middle school. Their whole lives, things have been pretty much the same. Same kids in their classes every year. Same streets between the same houses. Same, same, same. At the end of her freshman year of high school, just about when Liz is wondering how much same she could possibly handle, she catches Trevor’s eye as he laughs at someone’s joke, and something deep inside her lights up. Something she doesn’t know what to do with. Something she can't push back down once it comes barreling up to the surface. So much for same. After that, things can’t stop changing. And not just in her own life—her friend group starts pulling apart at the seams. Harley begins withdrawing from everyone with no explanation. Mikey gets in bigger trouble with his dad than ever. Natasha only has a year before she has to move off to college. Amanda accidentally reveals a secret no one was ever meant to know. At least Trevor seems to have gotten off easy. In this collection of short stories, Liz has to wonder if the change of pace she thought she wanted is worth it. Sometimes it’s hard to be brave, and she’s never been the most open to change, but unfortunately, that does not stop it from happening. The only question is: what is she going to do about it?

Genres: short stories, realistic fiction, young adult, coming of age, contemporary Themes: found family, first crushes, dealing with change, growing up, maintaining friendships Characters: Liz Stanton 🩵, Harley Wilson 💚, Mikey Miller 💛, Natasha Knightley 💜, Trevor Marshall ❤️, Amanda Hamilton 🩷

NHWE is my oldest WIP, started on December 16, 2019. It’s been on ice lately, since the plot has gone through so many changes that I haven’t known what to do with it in a while, but one of my goals with posting about it is to warm myself back up to it. I think writing that summary was a good place to start. Wish me luck :D

The Together List (TTL)

Tags: #wip: the together list #wip: TTL

Summary: Audrey is in her first month of college. Within three weeks, she’s moved out of her childhood bedroom and into a room with a window that seems to open on its own and a door that creaks loud enough to wake up the whole floor, she’s stumbled into a friend group that seemed to pull itself together like drawstrings, and she’s gotten a job at an adorable independent milkshake shop with her roommate and one of her new friends. What more could she possibly ask for? The world, it seems. Audrey has a list ten miles long of all the little things she wants college to be. One night, she starts listing them out loud. Her friends—Logan, Lennon, McKinley, Aspen, and Levi—chime in with their own after a moment, and before anyone knows it it’s been three hours and they haven’t stopped. They aren’t even sure whose idea it is, but they start writing it down. Every box on this ridiculously decorated list will be checked off by the end of the year, they swear. Someone makes an Instagram account as a joke, but by the first post it’s become as serious an endeavor as they’ve ever had. They wouldn’t call themselves local celebrities, but they certainly wouldn’t correct you if you did. The thing about fame at this age, even at small amounts, is that it's bound to go to someone's head...

Genres: realistic fiction, young adult fiction, new adult fiction, coming of age, LGBTQ+ fiction Themes: LGBTQ+, friendships, fame, college, becoming an adult, relationships Characters: Audrey Marshall 💙, Logan Levine 🧡, Lennon Adler 💛, McKinley March 💜, Aspen Brady ❤️, Levi Jackson 💚

TTL was created on August 18, 2021. I saw a post on Pinterest of someone's summer bucket list and that sounded like such a fun thing to do with friends that I had to write about it. Two and a half-ish years later, TTL has also gone through many changes, so I'm sort of trying to refresh it now. I'm very excited to see where it takes me!

(Fun fact: the main character, Audrey, is the older sister of Trevor from NHWE!)

The Violet Sisters Club (TVSC)

Tags: #wip: the violet sisters club #wip: TVSC

Summary: The Violet Sisters Club, a world famous all-female pop rock band, is facing a very public lawsuit from a former hotheaded manager over their most recent album. Following the conclusion of their case, lead singer Naomi Tyler, drummer Inez Wilde, guitarist Chrissy Cameron, and bassist Francesca Sheridan escape to the luxurious Overlook Estate, a privately owned rental property on an island off the southern coast of California. Here, they can spend the summer out of the public eye, writing songs they don’t need to worry about releasing and letting the public wonder what they’re up to as they let the tension out of their muscles. With a property twice the size of Alcatraz Island and a beach twice as long, the Overlook offers the band a respite from the go, go, go of touring, the privacy invasion of paparazzi, and the exhaustion of being micromanaged every minute of every day. Four pools, seven hot tubs, the aforementioned private beach, a high tech recording studio (just in case), a few golf carts just to get around the property and a Jeep to get to town. It’s unimaginably expensive, it’s incomprehensibly big, and it’s everything they need. But this escape may not be the relaxing California beach paradise they imagined. Soon, it becomes hard to hide how much the stress of fame was eating away at each of them—emotions run high, patiences run thin, days run long, nights run longer, and the strength of the band is questioned as the girls’ insecurities and anxieties bubble to the surface after a lifetime in the spotlight.

Genres: realistic fiction, contemporary fiction, literary fiction Themes: fame, music, romance, found family, secrets, breakups Characters: Naomi Tyler (lead singer, songwriter) 💜, Inez Wilde (drummer, vocalist, songwriter) 🩷, Chrissy Cameron (guitarist, vocalist, songwriter) 💙, Francesca Sheridan (bassist, vocalist, songwriter) 💚

TVSC was created on February 5, 2023, but the characters have been around almost as long as TTL. Initially, I created the Violet Sisters Club as a fictional band that would exist within The Together List, but at some point I couldn't get the idea of a TVSC-focused novel out of my head. I'm glad I never tried, because some of my favorite ideas I've ever had have gone into TVSC. If I could have one wish, it would be for all of TVSC's songs to be real so I could listen to them without having to write them first.

Now That We Don’t Talk (NTWDT)

Tags: #wip: now that we don’t talk #wip: NTWDT

Summary: There are two important things to know about Hazel Henry and Saiah Bradford.  One: They kinda-sorta hate each other after they broke up last year at prom. (The same prom that ended with the school almost burning down and Hazel's twin brother's best friend going to the hospital. Bad memories all around.) Two: Someone on the planning committee for their senior class trip must be out to get them, because when they arrive at the hotel, they find out they’ve been assigned to the same room. This should have been impossible; Saiah requested to be paired with her best friend, Tory, who's going to have some explaining to do later, and Hazel would bet her life on the fact that she requested a room alone. Now, for the next two weeks, they’re both stuck in the same narrow room with its little square bathroom and practically-nonexistent closet. The air conditioner turns on at random times, they seem to be paired together for every single scheduled activity, and perhaps worst of all—their friends all seem to find this situation absolutely hilarious.  But it’s just two weeks, right? It’ll be over before they know it, and soon they can both go back to pretending their relationship—and each other—never existed. Right? Right? Happy senior year to them. 

Genres: realistic fiction, young adult fiction, contemporary fiction, LGBTQ+ fiction, romance Themes: reconciliation, romance, friendship, forgiveness, guilt, regrets, family, growing up Characters: Hazel Henry 🩷, Nick Henry 💙, Saiah Bradford 💚, Tory Whitehouse 💛

NTWDT was created on October 18, 2023. Hilariously, I came up with the plot after making Hazel and Saiah in the Sims, and I literally couldn't stop thinking about them whenever I wasn't playing. As I do with every character I create, I became obsessed with them, and now here we are. And in case you're wondering, yes, I named it after the Taylor Swift song lol.

Trouble In Paradise (TIP)

Tags: #wip: trouble in paradise #wip: TIP

Summary: Sixteen years ago, Joe Alexander and Ben King drove across the US in the pursuit of Joe's true love. Today, Joe is preparing to move out of his and his ex-wife's house and drive across the country once more, joined by his daughter, Bryce, and his best friend/his daughter's biological father, Ben. It's all familiar—the long stretches of empty fields, collapsing onto a cheap hotel bed for the night, never being able to decide where to stop for food—and yet, Joe has no idea what he's in for.  This is a story of two cross-country road trips, and the lives that one woman is able to ruin in between. Joe Alexander and Ben King have both lost their entire worlds to Lilly Alexander. But the ones they’ve gained after her might be—in some weird, unconventional way—a little better.

Genres: realistic fiction, contemporary fiction, adult fiction, literary fiction Themes: reconciliation, moving on, guilt, parenting, cheating, manipulation, mental illness, sexual abuse Characters: Joe Alexander, Ben King, Bryce Alexander, Lilly Alexander

TIP is technically my newest WIP, since I came up with the full plot just last month (February 13, 2024). I've had the vague idea of it for just over a year, but I didn't quite know what to do with it until recently. It's definitely more mature with its topics than my other wips (as you might be able to tell by the themes), but I really like the concept and I've had a lot of fun plotting it so far, even if it's a little out of my comfort zone.

(Fun fact: the original title way back when the characters didn't even have last names was High Infidelity, after the Taylor Swift song, since I thought it was so thematically appropriate.)

···

OKAY I'm pretty sure I have officially run out of things to say. If you made it all the way here, thank you so much for reading! Like I said earlier, feel free to interact any way you like :D

This post is sort of a masterpost for all my wips, but I'm also considering doing posts for each wip separately so I can go into more detail. That'll be later though.

Thanks again for reading, and have a good day/night !!

―BlueIndigo <3

#writeblr intro #writeblr #writing #writers on tumblr #wip intro

[imashoe69420]

Hi :) can You do rise boys or just Leo reacting to a fem reader wearing a toxedo (suit) because she don't like dresses?

Personally, I prefer a tux over a dress. So this’ll be easy for me to write lmao. I’ve been doing a few rise!bros x readers so I’ll do Leo x reader this time!

Also I made the reader gender-fluid but biologically female. I hope that’s ok :)

=========================

Suits > Dresses

Prompt: You and Leo make your own prom after not being asked to the dance at your school. Well… that was half the reason.

Pairing: Rise!Leo X GF!Reader

Pronouns: Feminine but gender-fluid (they/them/she/her)

Relationship: friends (somewhat dating at the end)

Timeline: Post!Movie

Warnings ⚠️: angst, gender dysphoria, mild language

========================

When you texted Leo saying that you wanted to make your own prom so him and his brothers could join, he took it as a challenge.

The only prom he’d seen was from the “coming-of-age” high school TV shows you’d force him to watch with you, so he knew to go loosely off of that. He needed the music, the kissing booth Photo Booth, the sparkly lights, and the dress.

You’d never talked about your sexuality or sexual orientation to Leo, fearing the conversation would be awkward or he wouldn’t understand or care. Some days, you felt like a boy. Other days, you felt like a girl. Sometimes, you were androgynous. It wasn’t something that you could control or ignore. It was a part of you, and sometimes that sucked.

Leo came over to help you pick out a tux for him and a dress for you online. He was extremely eager, pointing at every other dress commenting about how pretty and shimmery they were.

Sure, they were pretty and shimmery and would look good on anybody, but none of them stuck out to you. None of them made you feel… well, you.

“(Y/N), you would look so good in this one!” Leo tapped on a slim red dress. “C’mon, let’s get this one.”

You shrugged, laughing awkwardly. “That one? Isn’t it kinda…” your words trailed off.

“Kinda amazing! C’mon, c’mon, get that one.”

The turtle’s pleas eventually got you to buy the dress and his suit, but an uneasy feeling settled in your stomach.

Despite your appeasement, Leo could sense that something was wrong. Even though this had been your idea, you didn’t seem as excited about it as he was.

(Y/N) was a big question mark to him. But he didn’t mind that much. In fact, it’s one of the things that made him start to develop feelings for you. He enjoyed the mild switch-ups in your style and demeanor. He’d mentally guess what you’d look like when he arrived at your house, and he was usually wrong.

Nonetheless, he liked how your personality always stayed the same. You were always boisterous, your mind bouncing with crazy ridiculous plans and ideas.

Last week, the two of you built a makeshift amusement park in the sewers. A day or two after that, the two built a miniature chocolate factory from the iconic movie with real toothpaste lids you claimed you’d been collecting for six months.

Where did you get all of them? Leo didn’t ask. He was just happy that you were really passionate about something fun yet so intricate.

As soon as the sun set, the turtles began decorating your school rooftop. Raph set up the Photo Booth and concessions while Donnie set up the DJ booth. Mikey scattered rose petals and confetti on the floor and plastered his drawings along the photo booth wall and rooftop door entrance. All of them adorned a suit and tie associated to their designated colors. April—dressed in a bright green dress—supplied them with the camera.

Leo soon portaled onto the rooftop in a white dress shirt with blue dress pants, blazer, and bow tie. “Hey, hey, how’s it goin’, mis hermanos?”

The oldest of the turtles turned his head to smile at him. “Real good! Just some finishing touches and we should be good.”

After a minute of admiring his brothers’ hard work, a question popped into his mind.

“Mike,” he glanced at his younger brother, “where’s (Y/N)?”

The orange clad turtle shrugged as he threw a handful of glitter into the air, the substance landing on his attire. “She hasn’t texted any of us.”

That was strange.

Again, this was your idea, so why weren’t you here for it? Leo was somewhat frustrated, but gave you the benefit of the doubt. Maybe you were running late.

But you weren’t.

In reality, you’d been sitting on the foot of your bed staring down at the red dress in your lap for several minutes. Maybe half an hour. You weren’t sure, but you were sure that you didn’t want to wear that dress.

But you felt awful about it. One, because the dress was absolutely gorgeous, but not something you’d ever wear. Although your attire heavily depended on what area of gender dysphoria you’d be in, you were never attracted to dresses. In formal settings, you’d always preferred a suit and tie or at least a dress shirt and tie.

You finally stood up and set the dress on your bed. Ambling over to your closet, you pulled out the suit and tie set you’d been dying to wear. All it was was a regular black and white color scheme, but you felt your heart flutter at the sight of it.

This made you feel pretty. This made you feel seen.

“Hey,” Leo knocked on the glass of your bedroom window, “everything’s ready. Let’s get going before my bros eat all the concessions… which is just pizza. Maybe pizza was a bad idea.”

You stuffed the clothing back into your closet before letting him in. “Uh, yeah, I’m almost ready.”

Leo furrowed his would-be eyebrows at your clean face and large gray t-shirt draping over your body. “Doesn’t look it.” He lifted the dress off your bed and held it in front of himself. “Is it too small or something? Shit, we didn’t check the size before ordering it, did we?”

You faked a chuckle at his worries as you laid a hand against his shoulder. “No, Leo, it’s fine.”

“You sure?” The blue clad turtle sets the dress back on the bed. “You’ve been kinda weird the whole time we’d been planning this. Were you not serious about this or…?”

Ah, shit, now he’s upset, you thought. Now you had to explain your hesitation—“no, of course not. Get out so I can get dressed!”—or suck it up as per usual.

Leo’s confused expression turned into one of joy before he hopped out the window to give you privacy.

You didn’t want Leo to think you were weird. Especially Leo. You two did everything together.

He went with every idea you had no matter how crazy or nearly impossible it seemed. While in the middle of your theoretical rant, you’d notice him staring at you in a way you could only describe as entranced. You were never sure if he was entranced by you or the topics you could talk about for days, but you sure hoped it was you.

The only reason you bought that dress was because of him. He wanted to see you in it and that alone rose the temperature in your cheeks.

This was for him and him only.

~~~

You texted Leo asking his to form a portal from your bedroom to the rooftop. He obliged, the glowing blue circle appearing in front of you.

When you step through it, Leo, his brothers, and April are on the other side. The decor definitely wasn’t exactly what you envisioned, you loved that the group did all this over a meaningless text.

“This is so awesome, you guys.” You thanked them. “You’re some of the best friends I’ve ever had.”

The turtles and April cooed before pulling you into a group hug. House music soon begins to blare as Donnie mans the DJ booth. Bright lights strobed as you and the others jumped up and down in the beat of the music, screaming and chanting in joy.

As the night progressed, the songs slowly became quiet enough to hold a conversation. Leo caught you drinking from the punch bowl and decided to try his luck.

“I wouldn’t drink out of that if I were you.” He advised, a wide smirk on his face. “Who knows what’s in here?”

“He said inconspicuously.” You giggled. “Although, we all knew he had spiked the punch bowl.”

Leo sneered playfully. “You’ve been hanging out with Donnie too much.”

You shrugged as you poured a second helping of the translucent drink. “He says, jealousy distorting his features.”

The turtle sputtered, shocked by your allegations. “Jealous? Oh, hardly. I know I’m your favorite twin.”

With another shrug, the music changed into a slow song. Leo looked you up and down before smirking.

“You look incredible in that dress.”

To be honest, you’d forgotten you were wearing it until he pointed it out just now. Suddenly you felt dirty and uncomfortable with the way the tight-fitted material clung to your thighs. Why did he have to say that?

You tried your best to offer him a smile. “Well, you’re the one who picked it out. You have good taste.”

A look of worry washed over his face before returning to his signature cocky expression. “We should dance.”

He held out his hand towards you and you graciously took it. You wanted to do everything to again forget that the retched dress wasn’t sticking on you like a rubber glove.

The dance was conflicting. You hated the dress and the way it accentuated your curves, and it overall made you feel like somebody else. But the way Leo admired you as the two of you danced alongside your friends caused you to think that all the discomfort and dysphoria was worth it.

Even though you looked gorgeous, Leo couldn’t help but feel awful. He had seen you holding the suit when he approached your window. You gazed at it the way he’d ogled at the red dress. The turtle had somewhat known of your androgyny, but never pressed you about it in fear he was wrong and you just enjoyed both men and women’s clothing. But seeing you right now uncomfortable with the clothing he’d picked out for you broke his heart.

“Hey,” Leo murmured as you and his switched positions, your arms around his neck and his hands against your hips, “you—uhm, you can totally wear whatever you want.”

You shot a hopeful look up at him, surprised on how he found out. “Huh?”

“You can wear the tux if you want. It’s not gonna upset me if you do. I just want you to be comfortable.”

No one had ever told you that. No one had told you to change out of a dress and into a tux. Your parents constantly pushed you to solely embrace your femininity. It wasn’t that they were homophobic or transphobic or anything. They just didn’t understand because you’d never told them.

“No, Leo, it’s okay—” you attempted to deny his allegations, but he shook his head.

“Go put the tux on, (Y/N).” He let go of you before creating a portal back to your bedroom.

~~~

After portaling back to the party, everyone’s attention was drawn to you. There you were in the black and white tuxedo that didn’t cling to your skin or accentuate any part of your body you didn’t want to be prominent.

You felt like yourself.

The group cooed at you, complimenting your formal wear. You couldn’t feel more proud of your attire.

Leo smiled at you once the group dispersed and invited you back to the slow days. You agreed.

He simply couldn’t take his eyes off you. He thought you wouldn’t look as good as you did in the dress. Once again, he was dead wrong.

The turtle sighed benevolently. “You look even better.”

Heat soon raised to your cheeks at his comment. “Thanks… and thanks for letting me change. I know that dress meant a lot to you but—”

“It doesn’t mean as much to me as you do.” Leo admitted, gently squeezing your hips. “I’m sorry I wasn’t thinking about what you wanted. This was your idea and I didn’t let you have a say. I’m sorry for being a dickwad.”

You chuckled as you rested your head against his clothed plastron. “You’re not a dickwad. I think you look adorable in that suit. It’s strange seeing you in human clothes.”

He raised his would-be eyebrow. “Human clothes? As opposed to…?”

You loved the banter you’d get into with him, but this moment was too precious. Instead, you stood on your tippy-toes and pecked his cheek.

“Thanks for giving me the best prom ever.” You whispered.

Leo’s brain more or less short-circuited. He had daydreamed about this moment for weeks, but now that it was happening, he didn’t know what to do or say. The only thing he thought to do was pull you flush against his chest and murmur back.

“Anything for you.”

#fanfic #rottmnt #rottmnt fluff #rottmnt leo #rottmnt leo x reader #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt raph #rottmnt reader insert #x reader #rise leo #rise leo x reader #rottmnt fic #rottmnt oneshot

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

reading/watching/listening jan/feb 2k23

books

little weirds, jenny slate - if i'm being totally honest i think if you're not already in love with jenny slate this book might come across as cloying or twee. but luckily i am so i found it delightful

watchmen, alan moore - so good it's stupid. it's funny because i decided to reread this after having reread sandman in the fall and falling in love with it all over again, and while sandman is for grown-ups and that's part of why it's good (unlike the netflix show which is for babies which is why it's not), reading that one i was like, god, i was so profoundly lucky to discover this exactly at the age of fourteen, the perfect age to encounter it. with watchmen, i admired and am glad i read it in high school (if nothing else it informed and gave context for my understandings of... a lot of cultural discussions over the years lol), but i enjoyed it much, much more as an adult - the emotional landscape of it is just entirely textures unknown to the very young. like most things that have gotten insanely famous, the boiled-down cultural osmosis blurb on it is not quite inaccurate but it leaves out much of the appeal: its inventiveness, the intricacy of its construction, the way it feels expansive while being incredibly taut. and its compassion - its worldview is dark but very humane; rorsharch is pathetic and monstrous but there's a sadness in his story, too. i don't ever want to know what alan moore thinks about sally but revisiting her as an adult i found her believable, even familiar, her scenes with laurie a surprisingly real snapshot of a generational divide between women with different relationships to patriarchy.

language at the speed of sight, mark seidenberg - a (readable and accessible, though i glossed over a bit in the parts about their neural network experiments) book about reading, recommended to anyone interested in the literacy pedagogy stuff i babble about here sometimes. there was a chapter on the history of writing that perversely made me love the english language even more, but obviously my favorite part was the bit near the end where he talks about how ed schools suck because they are antiscientific institutions whose goal is not the transmission of knowledge but the socialization of young teachers into a particular ideology and identity role, which is 10000% true.

movies

the river (1938) - love a WPA doc

top gun - cult spokesperson and human trafficking apologist tom cruise is in fact one of the great jaw-clench actors of our time. no one before or since has put on a pair of sunglasses so well. at one point during this filmé - i think it might have been during the silhouetted kissing scene, which has such bizarre lip choreography it's an ingenious way to get around tom cruise's inability to convincingly portray sexual attraction for a human woman - i turned to @onihcinimkcin and said, "who is this movie FOR?" because i had always assumed it was very much a boy movie but it turned out to be filled with girl stuff like a sex scene with billowing curtains out of an eighties music video and tender homoeroticism. then i remembered about boys and planes and was like, well ok. (he said it was a shounen anime, which also tracks.) great to see a movie from when movies knew how to light scenes that took place at night. a fun fact about the plot of this film is that at the beginning of the story the captain or whatever states that the top gun program lasts five weeks, which means that maverick develops a rivalry with iceman, seduces his professor, falls in love, gets investigated and cleared for his best friend's death, goes through all five stages of grief, rediscovers himself as a pilot and a man, and befriends his former nemesis, all in the span of five weeks. this movie contains two separate scenes with the joyful terrible singing of BFFs. baby meg ryan's HAIR? my favorite part was when the shirtless volleyball scene happened where all the boys were playing with all the other boys and the soundtrack was playing "playing with the boys" because they were playing with the boys.

top gun: maverick - the title of this movie is so funny because it sounds like a standard sequel concept where it's like "top gun but now top gun guy is Going Rogue" but then i watched top gun and that's just literally his name. top gun: tom cruises. not as bonkers as its predecessor but tom cruise, an evil human being, has gotten better at the acting part of being a movie star in the past quarter-century, and that sound design/editing in the canyon sequence, when it's the big climax but there's no music, just howling wind? good shit! get those technical oscars babe! it is also funny that the mission is to destroy an enemy base and we literally never learn who the enemy is. they have to go to "the border" the border of WHERE? the movie will not tell you. the border of narnia for all it cares. THE border. "we want a war movie without the actual war, even more than the first time." sure. it has been a long time since i laughed at a movie as hard as i laughed when tom cruise and babygoose were fighting in the snow-covered forest and tom cruise said "no I was supposed to save YOU! what were you THINKING!" and babygoose said "YOU TOLD ME NOT TO THINK!" and tom cruise just stared at him dumbfounded and furious because he's right. his improvements in his craft, i should mention, do not extend to romantic scenes; he and jennifer connelly (i never notice this shit but DAMN, i swear she looks younger than she did in a beautiful mind and not in a good way) literally lie in bed ostensibly post-coitally together and it's like, aw, how cute. they're friends in a culture where they have platonic naked sleepovers.

werewolf by night - i've been watching a lot of marvel content over the past several months because it's good dumb background noise for mindless-ish work stuff. i don't know that this was the worst thing i watched? but it was definitely the most pointless. i can't believe they dragged gael garcia bernal into this.

guardians holiday special - WHATEVER, I THOUGHT THIS WAS CUTE. "mantis and drax want to fix christmas for peter so to get him the best present ever they kidnap kevin bacon" is a perfectly delightful concept. this is the kind of dumb shit i wish marvel would use their extended universe and cosmic playground to do more often, instead of boring terribly shot action scenes but now it's got that other guy in it too (the better parts of she hulk also landed here, although that show suffered from the problem of just not being good or well written or interesting at all).

guardians of the galaxy 1 & 2 - rewatched them and was confirmed in my belief that they are really underrated in the typical marvel rankings and that in particular they have more functional screenplays than almost anything else in the universe. 2 in particular was fun to revisit after hatereading the dreamer trilogy because it's a story about how peter turns out to actually by birth be more special than almost anyone and yet he should still kill his shitty dad so he can go off and have adventures with friends; there's also a whole other plotline about how his shitty dad-figure redeems himself but does so by committing a genuinely sacrificial act of love after delivering a sincere apology that acknowledges his wrongdoing. these are not high bars to clear but they work dramatically, they're better at this stuff than e.g. anything that happened in shang-chi, and, again, they made me appreciate that maggie stiefvater is so deranged james gunn seems well adjusted and wise by comparison. grim! "if you kill me you'll be just like anybody else" / "and what's so wrong with that?" is one of the best exchanges in a marvel movie ever and the only compelling moment to come out of a villain battle outside of, like, the killmonger stuff and a special little bonus present to me (a person who hateread the dreamer trilogy).

mikey & nicky - holy shit, what a fucking movie. i mean like a real fucking film. this essay says it all better than i could (and is wonderfully written to boot).

shakespeare in love - no one ever talks about this movie anymore except to complain about how harvey weinstein bought its best picture oscar, stolen away from saving private ryan. i can't weigh in on that because you couldn't fucking pay me to sit through saving private ryan, but i am here to say in the year of our lord 2023 that shakespeare in love absolutely fucks. i don't think i ever knew it was co-written by tom stoppard, but before looking that up i was already thinking how much more deliberately shakespearean the screenplay was than i could appreciate in eighth grade: attuned to the rhythm and musicality of its dialogue, and then also the crossdressing, the clowns, the indifference to historical realism, the bawdiness, the banter. the scene where will extemporizes on his lady love's imagined virtues to an increasingly displeased viola in disguise reminded me of the thing in the romeo and juliet essay i'd read about how romeo enters the play almost a parody of the petrarchian lover, enamored of an impossibly pure woman who can never be his, and finds real love in juliet, who unlike the addressee of a sonnet can talk back. there's a whole riff where shakespeare is on the couch at the apothecary's talking about how he's got writer's block and making a series of phallic double entendres involving his pen. gwyneth is fine. this movie's cast is INSANE btw, we all know judi dench won an oscar for eight minutes of screentime but like, geoffrey rush is in it? colin firth? imelda staunton? BEN AFFLECK? it's a movie that's incredibly fond of its subject without being in love with itself, riffing affectionately on the neuroses and vanities of writers and actors alike (the actor playing the nurse, asked what the play's about: "well, there's this nurse..."), luxuriating in sumptuous period costuming, bringing to life an impossibly sexy affair, letting itself believe in this brief perfect love. also it rightly understands that act 3 scene 5 is THEE scene of all scenes in romeo and juliet despite being less famous than both the balcony scene and their sonnetized meet cute. in conversations about the current blockbuster takeover you hear people complain sometimes about various kinds of movies that no longer get made and it struck me this was a perfect example: a genuinely smart, sexy movie for adults sparing no expense to look gorgeous at all times, but one that's also gleefully silly and horny and fun. it's a beautiful-looking period piece that won an oscar, but it's not what people think of as oscar bait; it's concerned above all with wanting the audience to have a good time. i feel the bard would approve.

tv

criminal minds: evolution - prentiss calls herself "mommy," tara is bisexual now, rossi says "fuckhead." they understood the assignment 100/10

ms. marvel - not amazing in the grand televisual landscape, but the best of the disney plus offerings, and the least ugly, most competently shot thing marvel has ever put out by far. the colors are cute and nice to look at and frequently we get camera decisions with clear purpose! the bar is low but the floor beneath it is littered with every other stupid thing they've done. the lead was adorable, too, looking forward-ish to see her with brie larson this fall and hoping she gets to stretch her wings on something worthy.

theater

a strange loop - so, funny story: i kept seeing ads for a muscal called a strange loop and thinking "oh, like the closing track of liz phair's seminal album exile in guyville, the song which inspired nineteen year old me to get a tattoo - wait, no, no one would name a broadway musical after a liz phair deep cut, they must be talking about the same concept she named the song for from some book i've never read." like, every time i saw this ad i had the exact same conversation in my head. then like a month before it closed @unbornwhiskeyy texted me to tell me that liz phair was playing in the lobby of a musical they were about to see and i was like SAY WHAT NOW? so obviously i had to go. anyway: delightful, rude, funny, sharp, genuinely provocative which is hard to make it to broadway with, fantastic ensemble work, a certain inherent thrill in seeing a broadway musical that won a tony and a pulitzer about being black and queer and broke, like, how did you get away with that? i don't know that it totally lived up to its own ambitions but i liked how hungry it was, how much you could feel it trying - it reminds me a little of reading white teeth in that way, a debut that arrives not quite fully formed but impressive nonetheless, and that you can feel kicking at the door to be let in or die trying. i thought the whole time i was watching it that i admired it and was enjoying it but wasn't exactly emotionally connecting the way it wanted me to, but as soon as the house lights went up i started to cry.

music

the one who wanted more, cheese on bread - i was like obsesssssssed with their second album, the search for colonel mustard, back my late teens/early twenties, and was thrilled to discover via spotify that they'd reunited a few years ago for a third outing, one which is as funny and melodic and clever and cool as their last. "party dance" references lil kim and kimya dawson in the same verse; if that appeals to you, i would recommend.

i also spent like nine million hours in january listening to the world/inferno friendship society's red-eyed soul which is still after 16 years a perfect album to me.

podcasts of note (i'm not gonna list like every random self-help interview i listen to or every one-off episode about a fitfluencer lying about creating custom plans turned christian vlogger married to a guy who lost his police job for being too racist and violent but it's the scamfluencers episode on brittany dawn)

behind the bastards - still trying to fill the YWA shaped hole in my podcasting heart. this comes close vibes-wise - conversational explainers of dark topics - but i haven't decided yet if i like it enough to listen to any of the episodes about people i'm not already interested in. the host is funny and clearly a smart dude but he has a new guest every episode to listen to him do the explaining and they are so far mostly dull and unfunny and not particularly insightful or smart (another critical YWA thing that makes it so special despite its many many flaws - michael and sarah are both fun to listen to when they react to things, and my exploration of the podcast universe has taught me this is NOT a common gift).

#medialog #medialog 2k23

[loveourfuture-c]

Does it ever make you sad that Daxton is way more popular than Bevi? Sometimes it's lonely to be a Bevi fan especially on places like twitter and tiktok where Daxtons are the large majority :(

Yeah, it does sometimes. I try not to care because I firmly believe that my opinions are correct but I just wish more people agreed with me. I feel like benvi is such a top tier ship and it makes me sad that other people don’t value it like I do. It sucks cause a lot of the “daxton stans” on Twitter/tiktok are teenagers and their main bases for Devi being with Paxton is because they think he is hot. They want to fulfill that high school fantasy of the hot popular guy falling for the “nerdy” girl.

I feel like the majority of daxtons on those sites (and here tbh) try to make it seem like Paxton and Devi’s relationship is deeper than it is. Darren said it himself, Paxton and Devi are complete opposites, the only thing they have in common is that they are both good hearted people. Other than that they don’t really work or even seem to have a lot that would make them even friends. They will site the like 4 nice things Paxton did for Devi as a reason for them to be together, when I’m not even sure they have ever had a real conversation.

Meanwhile Ben and Devi have know each other for a long time and they KNOW each other. They can talk for HOURS and they genuinely love to spend time together. We’ve seen them have several very real conversations and we know that Ben gets Devi in a way that no one else does. You could make the case that they are each other’s best friend. Not only that but Ben genuinely cares about Devi and let her STAY AT HIS HOUSE NO QUESTIONS ASKED!! He helped patch up her relationship with her friends, DROVE HER TO MALIBU, helped her apologize to Aneesa, comforted her in the bathroom after Paxton humiliated her, and he genuinely just wants her to be happy. She never has to change herself when she’s around Ben because he knows her and accepts her for who she is.

Also the way they have been built up from the beginning is so beautiful and their relationship has just gotten stronger and better. It would do a disservice to the narrative to have her end up with Paxton.

I just wish more people got that. I know that it has a lot to do with the ages of some of the fans and I hope that as people grow and mature they will change their mind.

#Paxton is not a bad dude he just isn’t for Devi and that’s okay #sorry this got so long #never have i ever #anti daxton #anti Paxton hall yoshida #(sorry Paxton I still love you) #benvi #devi vishwakumar #ben gross #don’t mind me just sprending my benvi agenda before season 3 comes out and crushes my dreams

[unfinshedsentec]

HELLO YOU BEAUTIFUL HUMAN <333

thanks for answering my question 🫣

soo could i please request a senju x fem!(or gn if you’re not comfortable!)reader where reader is quite similar to her - they run a large gang and have a masculine appearance and they meet each other through their big brothers. their older brother is wakasa and he introduces them to takeomi and senju?

feel free to ignore if you wanna 🖤

ILYYYY

Hey love!! Thank you so so much for requesting<33 Honestly I love Senju and you, SO I had to write this. And, what better time to do it than a little after she woke up?

I really hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it <3

MORE THAN FRIENDS—SENJU KAWARAGI /AKASHI

reader is fem!

character pairing: senju (kawaragi) akashi x reader!

tw: maybe cursing?

Being a female gang leader was something that you’d only known yourself to do.

Most women just didn’t try to do it, simply because it’s too risky. Even for you it’s too risky. You need a lot of from the respect of your gang, and you need to protect yourself. So, you dress up and act like a man as much as you can.

Usually, you don’t mind this. Being a gang leader always has been a dream of yours, and now that you were living it, you couldn’t be happier.

But….it gets a little lonely at times.

You just want some friends that are your age and your gender! You want someone who can understand the struggles of being in your position. Moreover, you want a break from being around so many guys.

Sure, you signed up for this, but still, sometimes you wish you could just be yourself in front of the people you call your friends.

The only person you COULD be yourself around was none other than your older brother himself, Wakasa Imaushi.

Waka was one the one person you could relax around and genuinely be a person with, not some famous gang leader. He was the only one who knew you so well as to be able to tell when something was actually happening. He was also one of the few to be able to understand your position so high up. After all, he was a pretty significant part of the black dragons. Hell, he was the one who inspired you to create your own gang.

And of course, he’s your older brother, so he knows you like the back of his hand.

It was only natural that after months of loneliness, you went to your own brother and just ranted.

“My life is so great, but I feel so alone having to act like someone else all the time!” you sighed, sliding down into the couch deeper. The movie Waka picked played in the background as you ranted, while he just sighed and paused it.

“Maybe you should make some more friends, y’know, in school”

“I want too, but they just won’t understand! It just sucks…it really sucks.” Waka got up and sat next to you, rubbing your back. He could tell you really pent your emotions, and it was really starting to affect you. Clearly you just wanted someone to understand you, someone who wasn’t your brother.

And Waka thought he knew just the person.

“Hey Sis, why don’t you meet me at the gym tomorrow? I have someone you need to meet”

“Who?”

“It’s a surprise”, he chuckled.

“Wakaaa!

“Oh, just trust me! You’ll love them”

You sighed before looking into Waka’s eyes. He held a sort of reassurance in them, one that always comforted you. “Fine…you better not be setting me up though”

“No! I’m not letting my little sister date yet!”

“Oh, shut up Waka!” You laughed, before settling down and finally paying attention to the movie on the tv screen.

-----------

When the next day rolled around, you found yourself excitedly heading to Waka’s shop after school. You were nervous to suddenly meet this new person Waka never mentioned before, yet you were excited.

Maybe, just maybe, you could finally be around someone who understood you.

Thoughts raced through your mind while you opened the gym door. Who was this person? What were they like? Would they like you? Would you get along? All these thoughts went thought your mind before you finally walked in and…

Possibly the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen was standing there. She had stunning white hair that was tied up in a perfect bun, and beautiful blue eyes that shone brighter than the sky. Her lashes were long and luscious, and she held a sweet smile on her face.

You found yourself with a pounding heart and bright flushed face as you looked at her. And as she looked over at you, and happily smiled, you found your heart only beating faster.

God she was beautiful, more beautiful than anyone else you’ve ever seen. And you only thought that more when she blushed looking at you too.

“Y/n, this is Senju, the leader of Brahman. And Senju, this is my little sister Y/n. She’s the leader of [gang name]” Waka said, rubbing your back. Of course, just as you started to relax though, he pushed you towards the girl you now knew as Senju.

“I-it’s nice the meet you…Senju” you stuttered, sticking your hand out towards her.

“Yeah…n-nice to meet you too” she replied, shaking your hand.

It felt like time slowed as you shook her hand and looked in her eyes. You weren’t sure what exactly it was about her, but something just seemed…different.

You were entranced by her in a way you had never been before.

“Well…” Waka began, looking between the both of you. “You’re both women, so do you’re women thing and be friends”

“Excuse me?!” you and Senju yelled at the same time.

Waka jerked back a bit at both yours and Senju’s yells. Soon enough though, both you and Senju busted out laughing and started talking about all sorts of things, leaving Waka at peace in his gym.

Withing a few minutes of knowing her, you were already gossiping and shopping, like normal girls. You just had so much fun with Senju….more fun than you’ve had in a while. You not only got to know the beautiful girl, but, you just sort’ve…clicked. She understood in ways that even Waka couldn’t, and you, her.

You found yourself already planning to meet up with her at a cafe the next day, and then the next, and then the next.

Soon enough, you found yourself and Senju nearly inseparable. You not only met up with her every day, but you found yourself texting back forth with her a lot. You had tons of inside jokes with her, and she came over at least once a week for dinner.

You had only known Senju for a month or so, yet, it felt like you’d known her for years. And being that close with someone, and having someone who understands you so well really made your life a whole lot brighter.

Still, you had a problem.

Sometimes, you found yourself thinking of Senju in a more-than-friend way. You caught yourself admiring her, getting all flustered around her, and you constantly day-dreamed of her.

You just found her so beautiful. And the more you got to know her and her personality, it seemed the more your more-than-friends feelings grew.

At first you told yourself it was a phase, but the more and more you told yourself that, the more you started thinking of Senju in other ways.

Mindlessly, you’d look at a pictures you took with her and just stare at them, smiling. You’d zoom in on Senju and just blush, taking in all her features. Then, you’d go back and scold yourself for doing such a thing.

Senju was your friend! You couldn’t possibly feel such a way for her! But still, your feelings for Senju certainly weren’t anything friends feel for each other. They were something more. And that, scared you more than anything.

Eventually, you got so scared that you just shut Senju out completely.

You ignored her texts, calls, attempts to talk to you at school, attempts to walk home with you, etc. Everything you originally did with her, you just walked away from completely. Like she was just a ghost.

And trust me, it hurt you more than anything to do that. But you do what you gotta do, right?! Your… odd feelings were bound to ruin your relationship someday, why not just end it now and get rid of your feelings quick!

Unfortunately, that’s not what happened.

Although you had shut Senju out completely, you still thought of her often. In fact, you thought of her more. Your found yourself looking at her more often, and longing to be with her even more. You sobbed yourself to sleep thinking of separating from her. But this was for the best, right? It had to be, right?!

And so, you suffered and shoved your feelings away to the best of your abilities…until one day, when you no longer could.

While you were in your room, causally binging your favorite show, you briefly heard the front door open and Waka talking to someone. At first, you shoved this away and figured Waka just brought Benkei over again, until, you heard Waka knock on your room door.

“Y/n?” Waka said, lightly knocking. “Can you open the door for a sec?”

“Why?”

“I have a s-surprise!” You could almost feel the tension from the other side of the door, and the way his voice wavered, didn't make it any better. It was so obvious Waka had something going on. And while you wanted to just shut yourself in and continue watching your favorite show, you decided to open the door anyway, knowing how stubborn your brother could be.

“What’s up, Wak-“ you began, but you cut yourself off.

The moment you opened the door and saw those eyes, you froze. In front of you was the women herself, Senju, nervously smiling and waving. You found yourself stuck in place immediately, nervously sweating.

“H-hey Y/n!”, she nervously began, looking into your room. “Do you mind if I come in?”

You stared at her absolutely flabbergasted and unmoving, until Waka pretty much let her in your room himself. Senju casually sat down in your bedside while you were still frozen in the door frame.

“Good luck” Waka whispered, flicking your forehead. Then, just as soon as he came, your brother left and closed the door, leaving you and Senju all by yourselves.

Nervously, you looked at her, only to see her already looking up at you too. You could see a bright pink blush on her face while she fidgeted with her school bag. Clearly, she was nervous, and you were too. But you had to admit, seeing her look so flustered made your heartbeat pick up and you became flustered too.

“Sooo…” Senju began.

“Soo….” Stiffly, you walked to the bedside and sat on the opposite side of Senju, your eyes locked on the floor the whole time. “Is there something you need Senju?”

“Well, I mean…you’ve just been so cold lately, I just wanna know what why….” Senju began, looking up at your still form. “I mean if you don’t wanna be friends anymore that’s fine too! I just had so much fun with you and I wanna know what I did to end it….”

You sighed, running your fingers through your hair. You knew it was only fair to Senju to tell her why you’ve been ignoring her, but could really tell her you had feelings for her? You were barely sure of your feeling, let along be confident enough to tell her about them.

“I don’t know Senju….”

“Please Y/n! Please at least tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it!”

“No, it’s not tha-“

“Please!”

Finally, you looked into her eyes, shaking. You were unbelievably scared to tell her, but you see the tears building up in those eyes you loved so much.

You had to tell her, didn’t you? You couldn’t keep her hanging like this, it’s not right…

“I-it’s just”, you began. “It’s just, I’ve been having some…weird feelings for you. I don’t know what they are or what to do about them, but they aren’t normal! They’re….they’re more romantic and we’re supposed to be friends! I’m not supposed to have romantic feelings for you!”

Senju just stayed silent, though, from the look on her face, she was clearly shocked.

“I don’t know…I just don’t know what to do. I really love our friendship Senju, I just don’t know what to do with these feelings and I don’t wanna makes things w-weird for you.” You sputtered out, little tears forming in your eyes. “I’m sorry….”

Senju, was still silent, thought, from the shift of the bed to the warmth that was now next to you, you could tell she moved closer. Silently, she placed her hand on top of yours and gently stroked it.

“Y/n, I understand! I-I’ve actually been feeling the same way too…”

“Really?” You replied, getting even closer to her.

“Yeah…really”

Senju reached up her hand and gently tucked your hair behind your ear, before softly cupping your cheek. You found yourself gripping onto her other hand scooting even closer. Her eyes were lidded, as were yours, and a bright blush was on both you’re faces.

It was when she hungrily looked down at your lips that your couldn’t take it anymore, and you kissed her.

Her lips moved in sync with yours. They were soft, almost soften that you imagined, and as she ran your finger through your hair, you fell into the kiss more.

This was a dream, truly. One that you never imagined actually happening, but one that you were more than happy to experience.

Unfortunately, that dreamily quickly got interrupted by Waka who, had come in to check on you.

“Ew!” He yelled before quickly slamming the door shut and loudly running down the stairs. You and Senju on the other hand, immediately busted out laughing.

After all, the look on your brothers face was priceless. There was no way you couldn’t laugh at it!

As you settled down though, things became more intense, and once again you were dreamily, yet nervously looking into Senju eyes. And she, yours.

“Soo…” you began.

“Sooo…”

“More than friends?” you asked, shrugging your shoulders.

Senju gently laughed, before cupping your cheek again. “More than friends”

And that was the story of how you and Senju ended up together, in a relationship that would last, forever~

masterlist || reblogs are very appreciated!! || sorry for typos <3

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #senju kawagari #senju kawaragi x reader #tokyo rev #tokyo rev x you #senju #senju x reader #senju x you #senju akashi x reader #senju akashi #tokyo rev manga #manga characters #tokyo revengers x y/n #tokyo revengers x you #tokyo revengers senju #tr senju #fluff #senju fluff

[jasontoddssuper]

Bad boys canonically not being her type aside(as shown by how she hates Bakugou),i don't get the humor behind the jokes/content of Dabi being into Momo because he's Shouto's older brother and knows Shouto's in love with her and he wants to 'mess with him'.

Like what's the punchline?What's so funny about a man in his 20s hitting on a teenage girl because his brother who's the same age as her has feelings for her?Maybe it's because i'm autistic and sometimes don't understand some jokes because of it but this dosen't make me wanna laugh,it creeps me out and makes me feel bad for all three of them for how mischaracterized they're being-Shouto,Momo and Dabi are all wonderful characters,even if Horikoshi himself sucks and sadly dosen't always do them justice,and i can't fucking stand that almost all the fanart,fics and posts/tweets i've found of the latter two reduce an incredibly strong and smart girl who's very neurodivergent-coded down to a 'good girl love interest' and turn a mentally ill abuse survivor into a ped0phile for the lolz and clown on a 16 year old boy for being upset about his crush who is also one of his best friend's being abused like he was.

And yeah,i am saying y'all are making Dabi into an abuser by doing this,because Momo hasn't even graduated high school yet and Dabi is 8 years older than her.She's a girl,he's a man,not a boy like Shouto.He'd be taking advantage of her and unlike what y'all insist,it wouldn't be in-character for him to.The whole reason he became a villain was because he was abused by his dad as a kid and his plan is to take him down and kill him for doing that to him and his mom and siblings.All of that indicates that he'd probably kill someone for doing what i described instead of being that type of 'person' himself.

With all this in mind,it makes a lot more sense for him(either post a redemption arc or in a villain Momo au)to see and treat Momo how he does Toga:As a younger sister.That's a way better dynamic for everyone involved and you can still have him teasing Shouto and Momo for loving eachother in this context.Y'know,instead of twisting a perfectly good potential found siblinghood into your creepy lil 'Edgy And Hot GuyTM x younger and pure uwu girly girl who just can't resist his asshole charms' fantasy

#i haven't seen any stuff like this recently but i keep thinking about the stuff i saw when i was younger because i went to block the ops #every single person i saw posting it was equally creepy about it AND grown.they all deserve to get their asses beat so hard i'm not kidding #let shouto and momo help dabi with his rehabiliation and him become the good older brother he WANTED to be and them be chaotic besties!!!! #NOBODY makes content for that even though it fits perfectly-way more than dabihox with rumi as their third wheel and fucking todob*kumomo #shouto dabi and momo sweeties i'm so sorry #aizawa dont look #momo yaoyorozu #antibakumomo #dabi #todoroki shouto #todomomo #t4t todomomo #todomomo protection squad #group:freezerburn wonder woman and jason todd #bnha anime spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #bnha geekery #toga himiko #pro momo yaoyorozu #dabi deserves better #pro todoroki shouto #blasian momo agenda #half bangaldeshi rei agenda #trans momo yaoyorozu #trans dabi #trans todoroki #trans toga #not enough tags left but the other three are also mentally ill from trauma + shouto dabi and momo are aspec and they're all neurodivergent #letters from summer

[gonegrove]

okay, because it’s still in my brain after chatting with @sanguine-tenshi and i can do what i want here’s a “little” write up thing about this whole “Billy befriends a teen mom” au. for starters I’m naming this girl Donna bc man.... her not having a name makes this shit so much more difficult to talk about dkfjghsdf

for starters, no weird sci-fi shit in this au. there’s already enough stuff to tackle in this shit show i’m not also wrestling with that shit. stuff like Eleven can just be translated into her being Hopper’s adopted daughter it’s fine don’t worry about it.

okay god first off some SETTING:

Donna herself is smart, funny and reliable. Big camp counselor energies. She wasn’t popular but she was generally well liked. She has a part time job and tutors when she can for extra cash. Donna’s mom was a single teen mom too and they live in the same trailer park as Eddie, Donna’s grandparents were very religious so she left as fast as she could for her and Donna’s safety. Wayne’s always been very good to them and helped her mom out so he’s also Uncle Wayne to her and she and Eddie used to play when they were little though they’d drifted apart by the time they’re in high school. Donna’s mom and Joyce are likely friends as well, either all the way back from school or once Joyce joined the poor single mom club.

Donna getting pregnant was a big surprise to everyone because she never struck people as “““““““““““that kind of girl”””””””””””””. People suck and are gross. Her mom is supportive but she’s disappointed and struggles to hide that fact sometimes, especially when she drinks. She’d wanted more for Donna than a repeat of her own mistakes and she thought Donna’d had a real chance at making something of herself (we’re not gonna touch on how getting pregnant isn’t you know, a fucking death sentence and how fucked this thinking is).

Donna never says to anyone who the dad is which only adds to the scandal and disappointment because people Make Assumptions. (this is absolutely just me endlessly waffling on what to do with this. you could make it a Known Person from like the cast for the added drama later on if you wanted or just default to something like it’s Just Some Older Guy who’s in college now and she doesn’t wanna get into it. it really only matters if you want to use it for drama or something bc otherwise the focus is more on Billy and Donna and his Growth so.)

Joyce and the Byers boys is also supportive, because like of course Joyce is gonna be supportive of a girl in this position she knows what it’s like to be a single mom when you’re an adult. A teen? WOOF. And Jonathan and Will are just very nice people and good boys so like ofc they’re not dicks and they don’t spread shit about her. Jonathan is naturally more helpful and willing to lend a hand since he’s older and already like 50% a parent as is dkjgsfgs. Donna tends to turn to Joyce more and more over time as her mom’s disappointment and issues become more obvious.

Since there’s no weird sci-fi shit around to help spur on his Character Development I’m gonna make “not being an absolute monster to the pregnant girl” the hill Steve opts to die on. Like if we’re gonna say Steve’s big dream is a family I cannot imagine him being actively cruel to someone his age who’s having a kid? also he’s just you know.... not that shitty, especially when he’s not you know, upset like he was when he thought he was being cheated on. Him and Nancy are immediately really kind and supportive. the stancy struggle that came from barb’s death tho now is coming from differing opinions over Donna. As they’re talking to her and helping out Steve is getting a very rude awakening about how hard this shit is and especially how hard it is for a teen and is increasingly serious about helping out. Like he’s got cash, a more reliable car than hers, time, etc. Why shouldn’t he be putting some of that towards helping out someone who clearly is gonna need a LOT of it?

Nancy is struggling tho. Remember, she’s a fucking 10th grader at this point. Donna and Steve are juniors. We hear Nancy talk about not being like “other girls” or “easy” in season 1. She has not yet had her feminist awakening and Barb is probably not helping that lbr. Barb didn’t even want her to smash when she was enthusiastically consenting to it with her stable boyfriend. Nancy wanted to just put in her time being performatively nice and then dip. Intellectually she knows Steve’s got a point, she’s hearing how difficult this is going to be and she knows Donna needs all the real help she can get but she also doesn’t want to be associated with one of Those Girls because she’s scared of what people will think of her. But you know, how can she say that without sounding like a huge bitch? You and also add in that people are spreading rumors that it’s Steve’s kid because he’s being so helpful and that’s totally the only reason anyone would ever be nice ever. Obviously. 😒 Behold, relationship drama.

Chrissy is also naturally someone who’s very sweet and helpful to Donna. Because ofc she is. It’s fucking Chrissy Cunningham. 

OKAY NOW THE BILLY PART JFC (ironically UNDER A CUT BC THIS POINT IS JUST TOO LONG)

I’m not in the mood to work out all the timing on this shit but by the time they move to Hawkins Donna’s had the baby. Also maybe twins? Sanguine mentioned that Billy would be cute w/ a rowdy boy or a shy girl and I love both concept (shy boy and/or rowdy girl is also Very Cute) and making decisions is my enemy. it’s really whatever you’d wanna do idk someone make the choice for me lol. But yes. The baby is born and Donna is back in school for her last year.

Billy ofc hears about her having a kid because everyone is DYING to tell him all the podunk town gossip. This is one of the few things that actually catches his attention tho. He doesn’t like how they’re talking about her tho, he has a much more neutral opinion on the whole teen mom thing since he’s from a bigger city. Billy also has a LOT of issues around moms, families, parents, kids etc whether he’s even aware of them and how deep they are or not. But just something about Donna and her kid(s) just sticks in his craw. Even so, he doesn’t really talk to her much though outside of normal stuff like class though he does shut down shit talk about her when he hears it.

The first time he sees the baby/ies is at a basketball game. There’s like nothing going on in a town like this so it’s one of the few things she can go to to just get out of the house and all the excitement tuckers the baby/ies out. Steve and Chrissy make a b-line right over to Donna after the game to say hi and see the baby/ies. Billy also uses it as an opening to meet the kid(s) and talk. It’s probably the first real conversation he’s ever had with Donna. She leaves shortly after to go put the kiddies to sleep.

But it cracks the seal and now Billy is talking to her more. You could take this relationship romantically or platonically, I don’t think one is better than the other. I do think though that Billy starts off thinking that he’s not allowed to care/be close to a girl if he’s not in a relationship with them. Because you cannot tell me Neil didn’t push that fucked up shit about how boys and girls can’t be friends and shit how like there’s only women who’re your family and thus non-sexual and women you’re not related to who you can only interact with via sex.

And Billy does care so he thinks he has to date her. He doesn’t. And he goes get that memo and is just like “oh sweet”. You could then continue on with a much healthier romantic dynamic or a 100% platonic one. I don’t care the point of the concept isn’t for a set up for a romance. It’s point is that Billy makes a friend and learns a lot about himself and his life via child care and grows as a person.

Billy and Donna become closer and Billy helps out more and more with life and the baby/ies. Donna is a pretty stable, self-assured person and she doesn’t let people get her down and Billy actually finds that really good for him to be around cause he’s an insecure anxious mess. She’s very protective of her baby/ies and really very committed to being a good mom, which ofc makes him think about his mom and Susan and comparing them all against each other. Which gives him some more inside into the situations those two women were/are in. It doesn’t magically make him forgive them for their actions (abandoning him, not helping him) but it does help him understand that it’s messy and complex on their end too. He is literally seeing before his eyes how much of a struggle being a single mom is, it helps him get some perspective and round out his understanding of parent-child dynamics.

And helping to care for a baby, seeing how little and small kids really are. It’s a fucking head trip and it can really send him spirally sometimes. Maybe he doesn’t get that hitting your kids is bad. He grew up his whole life with Neil abusing him, he might think that’s a normal part of raising a kid. But now here he is holding a baby, changing diapers, going to the park and seeing all these other little kids playing. He’s really seeing how small and vulnerable they are, he’s seeing and experiencing some of that responsibility for taking care of a little person and the cognitive dissonance is INSANE. he cannot IMAGINE taking a hand to Donna’s kid(s) or any of the other kids on the playground. The idea that someone WOULD is BONKERS to him. But... his dad did, his dad still does. His dad does all kinds of shit to him that Billy would never do to a kid or let slide if he saw it happening. So he’s uh.... yeah. there’s a meltdown or 8 fdsgfgdsdsf. a lot of unlearning and reprograming etc etc.

Billy will adamantly say he’s not trying to be their dad, he just wants to help out because she’s his friend/girlfriend/whatever. That he’d be a shit dad because his dad’s a shit dad, he doesn’t want to have kids etc etc etc. But he’s absolutely filling that empty role currently and doing a absolutely banger job at it. Billy likes kids and he likes looking after them. He will change a diaper with only mild complaining. insanity.

He likes to play with the baby/ies, he’ll get down on his stomach like them and everything. He likes to watch them sleep. Loves to hold them. It’s Donna’s kid but he can’t help but feel a little protective and possessive of them too. It would break his heart into smithereens not see them anymore.

He even brings Max over sometimes when he’s heading over to Donna’s to help out. Max and Donna get on and Max stops eyeing the baby/ies like it’s an alien after like the 4th time and actually holds them. She’s already claiming Aunt Max. Jane and Will have also seen the baby/ies. Hopper (likely with some prompting from Joyce lbr) is some kinda helpful and sometimes he shows up with Jane.

Steve, Chrissy, Jonathan, Joyce, Billy and Eddie (but only with Billy and only because Billy dragged him along) and later Robin (but only with Steve) become the babysitter rotation when Donna and her mom have to work/do errands/have an emergency. Also real talk helping take care of kids literally does nothing to help Steve and his baby fever rip my dude you’re so fucked.

Billy starts to factor Donna and the baby/ies into his plans to get the fuck out of Hawkins too. Starts trying to get more work and make more cash saved up, talking to Eddie and later Steve about their plans and what they’re all aiming to do next and planning where to go and what they’re gonna need. Like half the group, Joyce and Hopper included, are very committed to getting Donna and the kid(s) out of there and somewhere better.

Somehow it ends up with a bunch of them moving out to Cali. Steve ends up in culinary school, Eddie and Billy are putting a band together while Billy’s also in school for [DEGREE OF CHOICE], Chrissy joins up later when she goes to college, same with Robin. It’d be fun if the Byers-Hoppers still moved out to Cali too, just cause. Argyle can be there, literally why not?

The kid(s) get a little older and Billy is excited to teach them how to swim, starts talking about surfing lessons when they’re older. Donna laughs and gives him the ok and he’s over the moon. He and Donna are 10/10 great friends who really work well as a team and a great co-parenting duo. Billy is happy and feeling good about himself. Lowkey reparenting himself thru parenting the kid(s). Don’t ask me what Donna’s doing i’m already fighting for my life here.

I COULD SERIOUSLY GO ON MORE ABOUT THIS AND ALL THE POSSIBILITIES (steve and billy both wanting to be a Dad Figure and there being tension???? nancy’s feminist awakening and coming around to helping out???? eddie and jonathan wanting to make sure the baby/ies gets a good musical education early but disagreeing on what that means, i could literally keep going) but this is already SO MUCH LONGER THAN I WANTED AND AT THIS RATE I’D LITERALLY JUST BE WRITING A FULL ON FANFIC SO DKFJSLGHKJLSFDS

#SEND HELP IDK WHAT TO TAG THIS FUCK #fic ideas #ocs #billy hargrove #tagging him bc OSTENSIBLY THIS IS ABOUT BILLY BUT I HAD SO MUCH TO COVER I GOT OFF TRACK A LOT DFKLGJHSJKFD

[thebreakfastgenie]

🍀 <3

🍀 - What thoughts or emotions that didn’t make sense to your past self make sense now that you know you’re queer?

Okay I'm sure I can think of more for this one.... I think I had kind of this sense of being different and not knowing why, but I had enough confidence it kind of turned into a superiority complex. Not being interested in boys and thinking dating was trivial was kind of normal and rewarded in my smart girl circles into middle school. We were independent! We had more important things to think about! And I don't think this is a bad attitude for young girls to have in our society, but sometimes it's something else. In high school, several of my friends didn't date, because honestly most of our school kinda sucked and we did in fact have a lot to do and not a lot of time. So I was able to ride that "I'm not interested in boys yet" wave longer than I should have, but it started to waver. When I was around 15 or 16 I was looking at rage comics people had made about their relationships and for the first time I thought "I actually like the idea of being someone's girlfriend" and then I immediately thought "of course I don't want a boyfriend, though." It took a very long time after to that to figure out what I actually wanted in that situation which is very funny. When I was younger, I always felt totally out of the loop when girl talked about their Disney channel and boy band crushes. I just didn't get what they were so excited about. When I was in about 6th grade (give or take; my grade was an unknown quantity for years) our teacher had us do this game for Valentine's Day where we named a celebrity we'd like to get a Valentine from. I like that teacher a lot and she had good intentions but looking back... Valentines at that age are at least quasi-romantic and that's a whole can of worms. I said Chessie the manatee, tapping into my romance hater reputation, and it's not like I thought of a girl and was afraid to say it. But still, I think I remember that because I was gay. The only other kid's dream Valentine I can remember was a boy said Taylor Swift (she had just become known; I think this was the first time I heard her name) "because she's hot" and the teacher cautioned him. I was really paranoid about coming across as romantically interested, both in girls and in boys. I panicked when I accidentally sent a girl a kissy emoji on yahoo chat when I was 13ish. I had a weird friendship of sorts with a boy in middle school where we couldn't admit we wanted to be friends, so we "hated" each other and attacked each other in various harmless ways. I cut him off without explanation because people kept relentlessly saying we were flirting and calling us lovebirds and it freaked me out. Later I did have boys I was friends with develop feelings for me and interpret my friendship wrong, so that one wasn't totally irrational. One I've been thinking about a lot recently is I was always drawn to tomboy characters. The girls who hated all things girly and wore dirty jeans and backwards ball caps and only played with boys. I adored Leslie Burke in Bridge to Terabithia because Jess couldn't even tell if she was a boy or a girl at first. There was a part of me that related to these tomboys. I was not a girly-girl. I was brash and outdoorsy. But I was in-between. I had long hair and I liked pretty things and dolls and pink. I did relate a lot to the girls who passed as boys in historical fiction, but that was because their options were pretend to be boys or not be allowed to do anything. I thought I'd do that if I lived in that setting, but I'd prefer to just have adventures while being a girl. I guess I always admired tomboys, but I think a lot of it was also attraction, in whatever way kids experience it. I still like jock women, so.

#i have another story but i think i'll save it it's kinda mmmmm #ty!!

[bisexualhobi]

The more I read about min heejin, the more I start to wonder how it wasn’t so well known before. She’s been in the industry for 20 years but most people still knew her as visionary and genius. I do think her ideas and concepts are really cool and interesting sometimes maybe a little shocking but the issue is her fascination for kids/young idols or barely legal idols. If newjeans concept/songs were given to red velvet or any group that has grown members everyone will love it! Instead we got kids sucking the same lollipop and singing about looking for attention. It just doesn’t seem right. Also she takes inspiration from movies and art that are questionable and often are about power imbalance and huge age gap… I think instead of discussing bts exemption korean government should focus on creating a law that bans child labour so kids can be kids and won’t debut before they’re in high school. And I’m tired of people saying that a lot of idols debuted early (I know it’s true) but many of them’ve spoken up how they think they started too early and that it really affected them and their mental health. Idols can start their careers after they graduate, I actually think it would help them be better celebrities/performers in general because they would have more time to practice their skills! There, also, should be official age for trainees as well, and I think companies should have studios and practice rooms in other cities in Korea (I don��t believe that big3 and hybe don’t have enough money for that) so trainees could practice while their living with their parents or living closer to their parents. There is no need for 10/13 years old to move to Seoul alone because they’re a trainee. Then the other trainees that may be a little older than them (but still teenagers) will take care of them because they’re still kids! But if after they graduate, they would be set to debut, they can move to Seoul to meet other members and have media training and prepare for promotions. I actually read that article that the other anon’s sent you and can’t stop thinking about the fragment when min heejin talks about skipping school when they’re preparing to debut: “I’ve been in charge of ADOR’s whole girl group system since September 2021. And the first step was the training. The very first thing I did was to check their health and lifestyle, plus check the condition of the accomodations and the practice studio. And trainees usually have a hard time keeping up with school when they’re set to debut because there’s so much they have to do to prepare for it. But in reality, even if you didn’t like school when you had to be there, you might feel left out and like you’re missing something once you’re no longer able to attend. Because people tend to linger on the things they’re not able to experience… So I felt like I wanted to create, to the best of my ability, a substitute environment. I think the trainee life we provide is akin to a mini version of school life, so I feel they’re studying things at the label in place of what they would learn at school. The things we study are similar to subjects like music, art, history and language arts. To look at it another way, you could say the subjects they’re most interested in are more immersive now. They’re even able to develop relationships and social skills with their fellow trainees and their trainers. That’s why I always emphasize to all employees in our organization that they’re also role models.” Kids shouldn’t have to choose between school and being idols and there’s no way you can compare school to a label. It’s especially important for trainees because if they won’t be successful and/or disband they don’t have a backup plan since all they can do is sing and dance and have no education… that’s why there are idols who debuts two or three times because they’re trying to achieve something. Anyway, sorry for my rant but I just want to say that I’m happy this issue is being talked about and I hope one day it will change and only adults will work as idols, hopefully it will happen sooner than later!

i'm the first one to accept up until this month i had no idea abt all the weird shit min heejin has done. i legit only liked her bc she directed f(x) pink tape and i am hopelessly in love with that entire album concept.

learning about all of this rn as it unfolds is kinda crazy and it leaves a bad taste in everyone's mouths for sure :/

#asks #long post / #min heejin

[adultswim2021]

Metalocalypse #31: “Dethrace” | June 16, 2008 - 12:00AM | S02E11

NOTE: I wrote this last night, but accidentally saved it as a draft instead of scheduling it to post. Sorry, bros.

Hey, I’m going easy on myself tonight. I deserve it after that last gigantic post. The Venture Bros. can take a lot out of me. Gosh, it’s a lot!

This one is a bit slight, and hardly excellent, but it's a nice hang with my personal close friends, the men from Metalocalypse Rock Band. In this one, Murderface is miffed that Toki and Skwisgaar have undermined his command performance of the Star Spangled Banner using nothing more than his dick and a bass guitar. They undermined Murderface by being in a high speed police chase, which interrupts the broadcast of Murderface rockin with his brain out. 

Speaking of brain out, the best scene in this episode are Toki and Skwisgaar at traffic school, watching an ultra violent educational video about how being irresponsible with your car can get your body all wet and in pieces. It is wet from your blood getting escaped from your body. Good lines, gruesome drawings, it’s the good shit of the episode. 

Murderface wants to do a convoluted event that’s a race and also a concert. Toki and Skwisgaar get involved by way of their community service. And Nathan Explosion and Pickles not only have nothing to do with the plot, but they make a point to just always be reading the paper whenever they are referred to. This is a funny meta-joke about how frustrating it must be to have a show like this and constantly have to come up with individual plots for each character. At least, I assume that’s what this is.

MAIL BAG

Hi this is Gabe Teplen the original voice of Moltar. I just want to say you are doing a great job and maybe give the original Space Ghost a spin sometimes. My granddaughters say it's just as funny as Coast to Coast.

Hi, my name is Mayor Giuliani, and I'm gay

I have a blog where I cover Adult Swim's original comedy shows in chronological order from the first stealth pilot premieres onward. every episode of every adult swim original program reviewed by a middle-aged dipshit. go here if you wanna start at the start

Hey, fuck you man, don't copy and paste stuff I say on other websites and then combine it with stuff I say on this website and send it to me anonymously. That is really fucking rude and it pisses me off. I'm actually pissed off about this. EAT SHIT MOTHER FUCKER

Should I go see Barbie or Oppenheimer? Let's date these blog posts. Which one are you more willing to see? Provided you get a big hamburger and fries with your movie either way.

You should watch any other movie. But if I had to pick between those two I'd watch Barbie. Oppenheimer just seems too boring, sorry. How big is the hamburger

Lesbian porno was like really good in the 80s but as time went on it just became so bad. Sure there are still hot women fucking but there is no sensuality. You can tell they are doing it contractually and have no love in licking pussy, ect. What do you think?

I don't like discussing sexual stuff because it's alienating, but I disagree. We are living in a golden age of sapphic erotica, and you need look no further than two girls I call Angela & Strawberry. Look them up. They lick, they suck, they finger, and they ... FUCK?????

You're supreme hatred of pitbulls is so funny. My aunt had a pitbull. She died.

I'm sorry to hear about your Aunt that got eatten by her own pitbull :(

I would prefer if you just said nothing than do the AI bit. I have to deal with my favorite fast food reviewer outsourcing his titles/descriptions to ChatGPT and it's quite frankly distasteful. The shit doesn't know anything about anything.

FUCK YOU! FREEDOM OF GENERATED SPEECH BITCH!! But by coincidence I've decided to retire the bit, but not because of you. It's my choice and I'm the boss and I'm the one that says how the rules goes.

#adult swim #adultswim2021 #metalocalypse

[morganweir]

t4t bethan moment

swapping more than spit

find it on ao3

Benny shoves off her jeans and throws them at Ethan, excitedly picking up the skirt that the boy had just thrown away in disgust. She’s a ten year old girl and she rarely, if ever, gets to wear the things that she likes, so she thinks it’s perfectly valid for her to be so damn excited about it. Damn is the only swear word she can say without Ethan looking at her like she killed the prime minister or something, or else she would probably say worse stuff. He’s sensitive about stuff like that, like Grandma Weir and Ethan’s parents will just know if she says anything someone deems as inappropriate. 

It’s dumb, but it’s a small price to pay to have Ethan. Having Ethan is worth just about anything. 

“How do I look?” she asks when she slides the fabric properly over her thin hips, unable to catch it on a wideness that isn’t present in her, but sliding it up to her belly button instead. It’s a little long on her - purchased for the fact that Ethan is taller than her (for now) rather than Benny’s shorter stature. She likes being shorter than Ethan, sometimes. He’s her best friend, and it makes her feel… delicate, in a way that she rarely can. To everyone else, she’s Benjamin Weir, a boy. In Ethan’s bedroom, with just Ethan and the soft sunlight coming in through the window and the clothes they swap more often than they don’t, it feels like everything is okay. She’s just Benny. 

They keep doing it. Middle school comes and goes and high school arrives and Benny still wears skirts and dresses at Ethan’s house when no one can look at her and everything is good when she’s there. She tells Grandma at some point around her twelfth birthday, unable to hold it in anymore, but she still doesn’t get Grandma to buy her skirts of her own. The ones that are Ethan’s first fit better, even when Benny shoots up and gets taller than her best friend and feels a little sick about it. 

Ethan’s parents know that he’s Ethan and that he’s a boy, but they still buy him skirts. Everyone knows that they’re not for Ethan. Everyone plays pretend. 

Benny isn’t out to the rest of their friends. No one uses pronouns to your face all that often, and most of the time she’s fine - she can forget that most people think she looks like a boy and that Rory calls them his guy friends and that everything kinda sucks when she concentrates too hard, because this is what survival looks like. Ethan moved to Whitechapel at an age old enough that no one knew that once upon a time, he didn’t look like a boy, but Benny. Benny was born here. There’s no way to introduce Whitechapel to the fact that she’s a girl quietly, so she doesn’t want to do it at all. Even if it means just being herself in her own home and the house across the street from her’s. 

It’s a small town. Sometimes, you have to do small town things. 

When Ethan starts dating Sarah, Benny does her best not to feel jealous. She tries her best to not get angry. She tries her best not to cry, even when her longest, closest friend seems to care for someone else more than he cares for her. It’s a small price to pay to have Ethan. Having Ethan is worth just about anything. 

She’s still a little happy when Ethan breaks it off with Sarah. It just means that they get to hang out more. She gets her best friend back; she had fun hanging out with Rory more, goofing off and surfing the web with her other best friend, even if he doesn’t know some of the fundamental things about her. She still likes him. That’s why they’re friends. She just… Ethan knows more. He has more of the ability to say the right things on her bad days, to tell her she’s pretty even when she thinks he’s lying, to make her feel like she really is. They get to hang out more again. Of course she’s happy. 

Also, a tiny, petty part of her is pleased as punch that it was her Ethan that broke it off with a hot girl like Sarah Fox. Yeah, Ethan is hot and handsome and pretty, but no one else seems to see it as much as Benny always has. She’s just pretty goddamn happy that he was the one to do it. 

“Benny, do you want to go on a date with me?” Ethan asks one day when Benny is lying upside down with her head hanging off of his bed, and she completely and totally cannot be blamed for falling off of the bed. She recovers well enough, she thinks, rolling onto her feet clumsily. She stands and Ethan stands out of his seat and he’s still not as tall as her, but he has so much presence to him that sometimes it feels like he is. She could be okay with the fact that she’s taller than him. She kinda likes how small he is. Like she could carry him around everywhere with her and no one would bat an eye. She startles when he reaches out for her, settling a hand on one of her hips. 

“A date?” she asks, hating the way that her voice cracks, but it needs to be said. Ethan still has a hand on her hip, her hip that has the skirt of a dress that Ethan’s parents bought covering it, and Ethan’s hand is so warm and feels good, and like it belongs on her skin. She loves him like breathing, especially when he breaks into a smile. 

“A date,” Ethan confirms, his hand moving just slightly so that the palm of his hand is against her hip, his fingers doing slow, comforting circles against her. All she feels is butterflies in her stomach, the warmth of Ethan’s hand against her skirt, and her pounding heart. She breaks into a smile of her own. 

“A date sounds nice,” she says, leaning down to set her forehead against Ethan’s. When he leans up and kisses her, that’s nice too. 

#bethan #benny weir #ethan morgan #mbav #my babysitter's a vampire #t4t bethan #mine

[treestomeetyou]

I have a very similar experience. I obviously get wanting to look at the positives, but I also think it's important to understand the full picture. A lot of the talk I've seen online surrounding autism has made me realize that people don't really know just how shitty it can be sometimes.

Autistic people aren't just "a little quirky". In fact, some of the most talked about symptoms were the least of my concerns growing up. My emotional maturity has always been...not great. I struggled with anger and I had outbursts so bad that I would sometimes end up getting in fights or breaking things. And I had these all the way up until I was in high school. I thankfully had therapy and it's not as bad as it used to be, but my issues will never be completely gone. I've also had sleep problems my whole life and I don't really have the ability to be in certain high stress situations. That takes a lot of things off the table that I otherwise would have loved to do. I also can sometimes shut down when I get overwhelmed which is similar to a depressive episode (something I also have and experience) and depression is often a symptom autistic people experience but for me it was a seperate diagnosis. There are also people who have it worse and may never be able to live on their own, and who have problems that are even more serious and it feels like we're just...not allowed to talk about that. I have been called ableist more times than I can count by people who didn't realize I was autistic, just for trying to talk about these things, or for saying that I wouldn't wish this on anyone else.

A lot of people seem to think it's a fun thing to have and that's just not the case. It sucks. I wish people would understand that there's a difference between hating myself for being autistic (which I don't, I'm actually very upfront about it) and wishing that I didn't have certain symptoms. I'm not "masking" because I don't want to get angry and yell at my friends and family every two seconds! I did everything I could to get past that because it was the right thing to do for the sake of the other people in my life. I was bullied in school as a kid (mostly for the anger stuff) but as an adult I have experienced more shaming from within the autistic community than I have from outside of it. I should be able to talk about both the positive and the negative side of autism. There's normalization, and then there's presenting an idealized fantasy version of autism that rarely ever actually exists. (I also wish people would do actual research instead of just...basing their views of autism on a tik tok they saw somewhere, but that's a whooooole other conversation lmao)

Sorry, I didn't mean for this to get so long. I'm just very passionate about this. I hope you have a good day. ✨️

never apologize for making it so long it’s nice to hear from other people. i feel like autism on tiktok is just some kind of new age manic pixie dream girl. like she’s quirky and she has funny little habits but it’s “breaks the fantasy” when she has issues that can make her unpleasant to be around.

i always joke that i don’t drink a lot because i’m kind of a bitch when i drink, but it’s just sensory overload that makes me a deeply unpleasant person. i don’t want to be like that, i put in a lot of work to not be like that. but that work takes a lot out of me and i resent that. i agree with you that i wouldn’t change myself, i’m autistic and that’s an unchangeable part of me. but it’s so hard to make people understand that it’s a still a disability. that there are things i can’t do. i will require certain supports my whole life. the toxic positivity around autism (and neurodivergent people in general) online gets on my nerves. i can love myself and find positives in myself while still being upset about how i struggle

#ask box #actually autistic #autism