#but not technically bc it's free I'm just fuckin around

[elemmeno-p]

@princeasimdiya12

My man was super thoughtful n thorough

ANYWAY

(Not good... and embarrasingggggg)

#artists on tumblr #art #digital art #doodle #hozier #memes #my art #request #funny memes #sketch #yugioh #jounouchi katsuya #jounouchi #joey wheeler #mha #mha fanart #shoto todoroki #todoroki #ua sports festival #meme #haha #hahaha #hahahaha #help #commisions open #art commisions #art comms open #art commissions open #commission #but not technically bc it's free i'm just fuckin around

[cupid-styles]

what would hockeyrry do if one of his teammates wanted to take her out. Since theyre technically not together...

combining these two together bc they're a match made in heaven 😙😙

. . .

"So, is that ballerina chick stronger than you?"

Harry furrows his eyebrows, but when he looks over his shoulder to see Reese, the team airhead, drying his hair off from his post-practice shower, he's unsurprised by the question.

While Reese is a hell of a player on the ice, he lacks tact in communication. He thinks part of the reason why he was drafted onto the university team is because there's no way he's ever making it to graduation, meaning he's probably got a straight shot from their rink to a national one.

Harry slams his locker shut and fists his clean sweatshirt in his hand, "Dude, what kind of question is that?"

Reese shrugs, "'m just asking. I try not to date girls who look like they are, but she's got... y'know, like strong legs and shit."

He rolls his eyes as he pulls the crewneck over his own freshly washed hair.

"Yeah, well we're not dating. I kind of fucked things up so she's a free agent."

He says it offhandedly, ready to grab his duffel bag and head out for the night, but he stops when he notices the glint in Reese's eye.

"She's up for grabs?"

Harry clenches his jaw. "Not like that. I'm gonna get her back, asshole."

Reese quirks an eyebrow as he drops his towel. It's not unusual for the players to waltz around naked, but Harry finds it to be somewhat unnecessary in this context.

"You think she'd let me take her for a spin, though? I remember all that shit Malcolm said about her. I could get down with that BDSM stuff—"

It's not a second more before Harry's seeing red, his hand clasped around Reese's throat as he pins him up against the lockers. Reese's eyes bulge in shock, his own hands raised in defense.

"The fuck, man? All this over some bitch?"

"She's not some bitch," he spits, ignoring the wary glances of their teammates. With the constant influx of testosterone flowing through the locker room, spats weren't unheard of, but players were always ready to intervene need be. "She's my fuckin' girl. And if you touch her, let alone even think of her, I will find you, wherever you are, and make sure your stupid, idiot ass never gets to walk again. Do you hear me?"

Through nervous pants, Reese quickly shakes his head, "It's cool, dude, I won't— won't make a move. She's yours."

"Damn right she's mine." he mumbles, releasing his body from his grasp. He lets out a sharp exhale and narrows his eyes at Reese once more before grabbing his things and walking out of the locker room.

#bestie asks #writing #hockey h

[thebearer]

hi e! back again with more carmy shit because i love the way you did my little blurb justice 🥰. i literally just envisioned sydney minding her own business and just recklessly placing carmy in the hot seat cause she knew his ass was gon get it 😂. i’m all in for more dom!carmy so i’d love to keep the idea going that his s/o works for/with/alongside him at the bear with a touch of her giving him her two cents? a little bit of sass to just remind who he’s dealing with 😩. maybe this time around he slipped up on something major (a birthday, anniversary, or something that overall was important to the reader and he put it off because in his mind the bear comes first). she’s been slowly driving him crazy with that silent treatment she’s been doing for the last few days and her less than a few syllabled words when he doesn’t remind her how irked he made her 😂; she’s not mad anymore just disappointed. and anyway basically in a prep for preordered to go’s on lunch rush he’s reading back orders to her and she completely writes him off. i can see him being like exactly how he when he’s not getting when he needs from his staff during a frenzy and flipping tf out. like you know when he repeats himself a second time as if you didn’t hear him the first he means it 😂. tysm in advance! please feel free to do whatever you’d like. i’m writing this at 6 in the morning so many ideas are coming into the fold. i hope you have a great day - 🥣.

ok i did sorta a different-ish take. same idea but i don't write the reader as a chef bc quite honestly i can't relate lmao i'm a horrendous cook lol. but silent treatment yes!! reader works at the bear but not a chef.

"Does anyone know where the extra napkins are? Mindy needs to be settin' tables." Carmen huffed, slamming the empty crate back in the back stock.

"That would be your missus' domain." Richie snickers, elbowing Fak lightly. "Guess you better go ask her, Cousin."

"Yeah? Fuck off. Thought it was your fuckin' job." Carmen grumbled, running a hand through his hair.

"Me? Fuck no, Cousin. You know who's job it is, c'mon." Richie grinned. "It's your wife, Carm. What? Scared to talk to your wife?"

Carmen sneered, huffing in annoyance, but the truth was... yes, he was a little scared. Especially with how furious you were at him. Carmen was a chronic over worker, barely taking time for himself. It was a constant fight between the two of you, one he'd gotten better at, but still struggled finding that balance. Which normally, you'd be more forgiving about.

Except it was your anniversary.

Carmen left you waiting at home, dressed up with a new lingerie set that he painfully didn't get to enjoy. By the time he got off, taking his time to clean the kitchen, prep for tomorrow's crowd, he looked at his phone and saw your texts and calls, his heart dropping.

You'd been giving him the cold shoulder since then, furious and hurt- or so he assumed, you wouldn't say anything.

Richie found the entire thing hilarious when Carmen told him. "You forgot your fuckin' anniversary? You jagoff, holy shit."

Carmen found it less than amusing. The tension in the restaurant was thick because of the two of you. Everyone teetering around you, but especially Carmen, he was more on edge now.

Pushing the door open to the office, Carmen ducked his head in, seeing you at his desk- your desk, technically, you used it more. "Hey, honey," Carmen's voice was soft, a sweet hum that had your spine straightening. He flinched lightly, stepping towards you. "D'you know where the extra napkins are?"

You didn't reply, simply typing on your laptop, editing a video for the social media page about the upcoming summer specials.

Carmen blinked, barking out your name in a much harsher than he meant to, but it seemed to work. Kinda. Your head whipped around, eyes in a burning glare when they met his, but your lips were still pressed together.

Carmen through his hands out in exasperation. "Are you bein' fuckin' serious with me?"

Richie made his way towards the table where Tina was doing prep, craning his neck to watch. Your lips twisted, glaring harshly at Carmen. Carmen huffed, a hand running over his forehead. "What do you want from me, huh? What? You're just never gonna speak to me again? I forgot, ok? I didn't mean to, I just fuckin' forgot! I was at work!"

You glared at him, feeling Richie's amused gaze from over Carmen's shoulder, the rest of the staff pretending to be busy to hear. "Shut the door." You snapped.

Carmen flinched, shocked. "What-"

"Shut the fuckin' door, now." You snapped, slamming your laptop, turning to face him. Carmen pressed the door shut, ignoring Richie's whines of "c'mon, Cousin, it was just gettin' good!".

The two of you stared, neither being the first to talk, not wanting to break. You huffed, rolling your eyes in annoyance. "You wanted to talk, talk, Carmen. I've got shit to do."

"Hey," Carmen's eyes flashed at you, his tone hard with an edge of warning. "You better watch your-"

"-No, you better watch your mouth with me. Watch what you say to me, Berzatto." You snapped, pointing a finger at him. "This isn't a fuckin' game, alright? I'm mad at you. Actually fuckin' mad at you."

Carmen's stomach turned, swallowing the guilt rising with the bile in his throat. "I... I'm sorry-"

"-Sorry isn't going to work this time, Carmen. It's always sorry. Always I didn't fuckin' mean to, I got busy." You snapped, arms wrapping over your torso. "You always do this, but our anniversary? You forgot our anniversary?"

"No, I didn't forget." Carmen ran a hand down his face. "I got you flowers and-and the bracelet-"

"-And that was very nice, Carmen, but you weren't there." You snapped, the finality in his tone making his rebuttal dissolve in his mouth. The hurt in your eyes, rounding and pitiful, soft and pleading with him. You were angry, but you were hurt, too.

His shoulders deflated, breath leaving his lungs. "You're right," Carmen nodded slowly. "No, you're-you're right, and-and-and I'm... Fuck, I'm so sorry, baby." Carmen said sincerely, eyes shining with sincerity. "I... I got caught up and I-I shouldn't have even been working that day, I just..."

"I know." You muttered, looking down at the desk, a framed picture of the two of you in Copenhagen at your wedding ceremony. Carmen in his suit, you in your dress, happy and smiling with the breathtaking scenery behind you.

Carmen could feel the guilt growing in his chest, palms sweating and heart racing, the panic to fix it- to do something. "How much longer do you have?" Carmen asked, nodding towards your laptop.

"Just a few more things to edit." You looked at your paused work. "Why?"

"Let me... Let me make it right." Carmen sighed, shaking hands fumbling towards his apron.

"Carmen, you can't leave-"

"-Yeah, yeah, I can." Carmen nodded, pulling the door out and calling for Sydney. "Can you cover tonight, Chef?"

"Uh, yeah, yeah, I can." Sydney nodded.

"I got it too, Cousin-" Carmen shut the door before he could hear Richie's full comment, sure something smart ass would be included.

"Let's go out." Carmen looked at you. "A make up. Please?"

You folded your arms, pouting lightly. "'m not dressed for going out."

"What're you talkin' about? You look beautiful, c'mon." Carmen shook his head lightly at you, shoving his clothes into his bag, pulling out his spare.

You tried not to drool at the sight of his chest. You'd missed him, you really had. It was a shame the lingerie went to waste.

Carmen pulled you out of the restaurant, hand on your waist, holding you close to his side. It wasn't the fancy reservations you'd planned, no Michelin star restaurants with expensive wine. No, instead, he took you to some a rooftop restaurant, one with the vibey aesthetic you always cooed at on Instagram. Sitting and sharing pretzels and greasy food, snuggled into Carmen's side while he ordered dessert. Giggling when he fed you the brownie sundae, tilting your head back with his fingers cradling your jaw lightly. It was simple, romantic, and fun. Made your heart swell, clinging to him the whole way home.

And when you got home? Carmen was in heaven. Letting you show him what he missed a few days earlier.

#thebearer #bearblahs #carmy berzatto #carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto smut #carmen berzatto fluff #carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto fic #carmen berzatto x reader #the bear #carmen berzatto angst #carmen berzatto x you #carmy berzatto x you #carmy x reader #richie jerimovich #sydney amadu #carmen berzatto fanfiction #carmy berzatto fluff #the bear fx

[celestie0]

Hello!! I wanted to ask some advice 😞 I have a fic idea but I've never posted any writing before and its like a very very specific band au and I'm scared no one will care to read it because of how much music context it requires 😭 I really admire your writing so like...what do you suggest...

(Also super excited for next kickoff ! I've never been this invested in a fic)

hii my love!! omg a band au sounds like so much funnn are you kiddinggg i would eat that UPPP. my advice would be to just go ahead n write it!!! it's super nervewracking to share work, especially if you've never shared before, so for the time being you can just write w the idea that no one else will read it except for yourself! that'll help you establish a healthy relationship w your writing & your hobby in general even before you post should you choose to post

as for the specificity n music context, i personally think thats SO FUCKIN RAD!!! i love a story where i can enjoy a romance but also have aspects outside of it that i can learn something new from or take something away from. i have read some pretty incredible fics & books, but the ones that have always had a lasting impact on me are the ones i went into knowing nothign ab a specific something, but then i leave it feeling like i've learned something i wouldn't have ever known before!!

it's a totally valid feeling though, esp in fanfiction where you might think readers want to read ab only their fave characters or specifically romance. i felt this way a lot with including the film major & photography aspect to kickoff, i feared readers would find it boring and would just want to read ab gojo x reader. i think in ch9, gojo only had like 40% of the chapter screentime and didn't even make his first appearance until like 5k words into the chapter, but i'm still really happy w the chapter and the response i got was great too. i see some of my writer mutuals break the norms n experiments w their stories all the time too, and honestly, i think that makes for some of the BEST and most MEMORABLE stories :)

as for fears that people may not see your story, i totally get that. keep in mind, i think the jjk fandom specifically doesn't really have too many long fics, at least compared to what i've seen in other fandoms, n tends to steer towards oneshot content (i could be wrong ab this but it's just what i've noticed! at least on tumblr. long fics always get lots of love on ao3 tho) so don't worry too much if you're not getting as many notes or reblogs etc as some other authors, bc if you choose to post series content, then you'll technically be in a niche category for this specific fandom. BUT i have noticed that the quality of interactions w longer stories is very amazing and totally worth being a part of this writing community for that reason!!

when i first started posting, i really didn't know what to expect since the last time i had a fanfic blog was for like two months when i was 12 on deviantart LOL. and now i'm just extremely blown away n humbled by the support. but that's the thing- you'll never ever know unless you try! again, just write and picture it that you're the only one that's going to read it, so put all that juicy music context in there n really write w that passion in mind!! (i'm assuming you're into music or bands n that's your inspiration? don't be afraid to let that interest show!!) and that's really the only thing you need to get started, after that it's just simply copy pasting n then posting :)

if you do get around to posting or sharing it then feel free to tag me bb!! i'd love to read it n support you. good luck to u n much love!! <33 i hope this helps in anyway

and thank you for looking forward to kickoff :)

ps. in case you want any specific writing advice i have some on my page here (sorry bb i just realized i wasn't sure if you were asking for actual concrete writing advice haha my bad if i misinterpreted)

#ellie's writing advice #kickoff #asks #anon

[deputy-buck]

Tag game (Christmas edition)!

It's Festivus for the rest of us so grab your Chanukah bush, your mistletoe, your pagan ritual or whatever brings you joy and come gather round the fire and celebrate your pocket friends.

Tagged by @ronald-speirs and @ronsparky two Rons???

Favourite nickname you've ever been given?

uhhhh, Buck is technically a nickname but I gave it to myself lmaoo- I haven't been given one, y'all can give me one though!!!

Where are you located?

yee-yee baby!!!

What season is it where you are now?

Winter and I fuckin hate it- It's cold, and wet, and miserable-

Favorite tradition this time of year?

I don't have any traditions, that sounds so sad but my family just never made or followed any 😂

Favourite holiday food?

Green bean casserole... if anyone says anything mean about it, you're dead.

Mulled wine, eggnog or hot apple cider?

Eggnog is vile and I've never had the other two- apple cider sounds good though, I'd like to try that!!

Turkey, ham or nut roast (Or Tofurkey?)?

Turkey, we don't do it regularly but I do enjoy it in the years we do cook one!

Would you rather spend the december holidays in: a cabin in the woods surrounded by snow, or a house on the beach with sun and sand?

Cabin surrounded by woods and 75f weather, don't try to trick me with snow 😒

are you pro-snow or anti-snow?

Anti-snow, it has to be cold to snow, plus it makes everything soggy after it melts-

have you ever built a snowman?

I have, my dad would always be the one so excited to make one, it was the one thing I liked about winter as a kid!

Skiing or snowboarding?

Never done either, unless you count using a skateboard deck with the trucks taken off as snowboarding, then I prefer that over the idea of skiing!

Do you decorate for the holidays?

We used to! I loved the tree, the decorating of the tree, but now it's just a hassle and there's not many gifts to go under it usually 😂 I like the idea of decorating a little apartment/barracks room with greenery and small figurines, I want that in the future...

Favourite holiday movie?

Don't have one. I'm not much of a movie person. Maybe Elf? That's the only Christmas movie I can think of- OH ME AND MY DAD USUALLY BINGE WATCH GAME OF THRONES ONCE IT STARTS GETTING COLD!!! WE'RE STARTING SOON!!

Favourite holiday fanfic?

I try not to read holiday fics just bc it's not my jam, but I've thought up an Andy/Eddie fic where they celebrate their first Christmas together, and then K-Co and H-Co come around on the days after to drop off gifts, have dinner.... some stay the night for extra-curricular fun hahah- cough Sledge and Sid and Hoosier and Snafu cough

If you were to star in a hallmark movie, who would be your love interest?

Uhhhhh would it be mean to say no one? I want to make an Aro Hallmark movie, where there's no love interest and it centers around friends and found family 😊

Tags: hmm, I'm not sure, @kafka-ohdear @flashnthunder @whollyjoly @land-sh @caffeinated-fan @military-bluebells @verawhisk(ily pookie) and I that's all I can think of at the moment but feel free to tag me as the person who tagged you if you wanna do this!!!!

#tag game #MarMar✿

[dancing-cockroaches]

I got a prescription for a nebulizer atleast 2+ months ago and I really regret not filling it, everytime my asthma comes around to kick me in the ass I'm like "damn i should really hand in this script" but I cant do that at 8 PM which is the time at which I go out (I hate going out during the day) and the time the thought occurs to me. And at this point I dont even know if the pharmacy would fill it. Or if theyd be like "bitch this script is from June. It is september. Get out". My pharmacy is CVS, they dont even have nebulizers in my area, so I'd have to go to a different pharmacy, and I've been going through CVS for so long I dont even remember how to enroll in a pharmacy. Sometimes it just feels like CVS just knows what insurance I have through magic or some shit, because they've never asked me for my card and I've gotten my medicine from them for pretty much my whole life with 0 issues. I just walk up and they're like "ok here's your adderall that'll be $5" even if it's a different location and I'm pretty sure the process would not be that simple with a completely different pharmacy. I know fuck-all about pharmacy billing despite working in health insurance because of how seamless CVS makes it seem. I moved thousands of miles and these employees didnt even skip a beat, no "oh uh we'll just need to see your insurance card" or "you're in Nevada, but your insurance on file was last updated 2 decades ago and is a NY state insurance so that's weird" nope just "hey, you've never been to this location before, but here's your birth control. It's free by the way".

Do they have to like, contact my insurance? I have NY state insurance, these people are thousands of miles away from NY so they've most likely never seen this insurance. My insurance would cover it, I already know they would, but would the pharmacy fumble it? It's happened - once my claim was submitted to blue cross blue shield of fucking Arizona for some reason. I don't even have BC/BS (you could say technically I do, but I really dont) and I dont live in Arizona. My insurance just confuses the fuck outta people for some reason (ok tbh for good reason, it is kinda funky cuz it's called NYSHIP but is technically UHC but depending on circumstance some of it is BC/BS and some of it is Beacon health, now owned by Anthem, which all sounds very confusing but I swear to fuck it is miles better & less confusing than bitches like Medicare.. fuck Medicare, this is a pro-Medicare slander blog, so I'll shit talk them wherever I can squeeze it in), not like they're combative or deny a lot of things, they'll fuckin approve anything (UNLIKE FUCKING MEDICARE), they're just not common here. It's also literally called Empire Plan/NY State Health Insurance, making them assume it's only a NY insurance despite that not being the case, you can only get it in NY, but it can be used anywhere.

[fortunemars]

FRIENDS

URGENT (not really, medium urgent)

Im writing a script for a (kinda long) short film and I am desperately searching for music that is anywhere near the tone of the script but unfortunately YouTube and even spotify don't know how to sort genres correctly (fuckin bonkers. What do you mean THE MUSIC APP doesn't know how any genres and doesn't know how to put together playlists that are what they say they are!!!)

The general idea of the script is that we're watching a kid grow up (starting at abt 5, kindergarten age) until they're about 18 (not sure about that, might have it end a couple years after, I'll get to it). It's going to be a bunch of snapshots of this kid's life as they grow up, put into sections marked by birthdays! It's (planned to be) filmed in a very home made way, as if a parent is recording these snapshots of their kid so they can all look back on it later.

The general tone is gonna be happy, there will be some sad parts in the actual film but those aren't the main point. Any of me talking abt making the viewers sad is more "make them sad bc they're seeing this life go by so fast". Like how people (me) cry at slideshows of random moments in a kids life leading up to a big event...

Ahem, page break bc the actual point of this post is going to be long. Below the break is the list of music I'm looking for!! (Doesn't need to be copyright free, I'm mostly looking for inspiration music rn)

SO, I'm looking for music to fit a few vibes, im probably gonna make different playlists in general, but here are The Needs

General note: (I'd prefer songs with an "indie" vibe -- meaning songs without big technical instruments like synths or electric guitar riffs lol, I don't think any pop or metal type music would fit here)

- anti-folk (excluding folk-punk. A little confusing sorry! Think of the Juno soundtrack or most of kimya dawson. It's really that bright and happy, vibrant sounding music that I need)

- folk (general, soft guitar and no harsh vocals, famous songs are good too! Something that ppl would feel like they know even if they don't. Nostalgia country... Think "time in a bottle" - Jim Croce. I need that down to earth, slow and chill music yk?)

- folk-rock (are you seeing a pattern?) (Also idk if this is the right term, for this I mean music like The Lumineers, Vance Joy, the kind of music you'd hear on the radio around 2010-2016 but NON EXPLICIT) (there is a concerning amount of music we listened to as kids that was just. Just about sex. Wack)

- kids music! (By this I mean specific recordings of nostalgic kids songs, not just nursery rhymes tho! This is the real "devastate the viewers" music. My example for this is "little bird little bird" by Elizabeth Mitchell, though I'd like any kind of recorded kids songs! Double points if there's a kid singing in them.)

+ I want to say classical but I don't know how to explain the kind I'm looking for? Something that you could listen to while reading a book in a field???

+ generally calm or chill music! Piano, guitar, harmonica, and soft vocals.

I don't have any other ideas currently but yeah! If anyone has any music (single songs or playlists!!) I will accept anything!!!! I'm just looking for ANYTHING to help me focus on this writing bc I really wanna get this script done 😭😭😭

#short film #writing #scripting #music for writing #a desperate cry for help (i need the vibes to fit or I can't get the tone right in the script)

[elemmeno-p]

@pixelsbuildmysoul

#i promised shite here you go #request #reqs open #commission #but not technically bc it's free I'm just fuckin around #they'll get better #you just WAIT i got the goofiest request i love it coming up #sorry pixels Ú-Ù these little dudes came out like the first batch of pancakes #paving the way #and edible #but anestheticly ahead of their time #hozier #shitpost #artists on tumblr #my art #requests #please please please #anyway #doodle #digital art #goofy #frog art #frog #snek #snake #cute hat #thank you for the support #and thank you for the req <3 I'll always remember u pixelsbuildmysoul

[yardsards]

how the FUCK do some ppl just be walkin around w their phones just fuckin naked no case no screen protector no nothing??? do you have THAT MUCH trust in your own motor control??? or are you just so rich and/or careless with money that the thought of replacing a shattered screen doesnt even faze you???

like i got a new (or. technically used but new to me) phone today and the case hasn't come in the mail yet and i am TERRIFIED. i feel like if i so much as breathe on it wrong it'll shatter into a billion pieces like the breakaway glass of a window of some poor unsuspecting office worker in an action movie that's supposed to look cool but really just leaves me concerned about how the hell you replace windows on a skyscraper like it's gotta be difficult right???

i feel like there's probably not much equipment built for that purpose because you don't reasonably expect a window on the goddamned 20th floor to get broken cuz it's not like little timmy from next door can accidentally lob a baseball through it like with a normal window. do you gotta rebuild the scaffolding that was there during construction? do you do some jerry rigged version of that weird harness thing that window washers use (do window washers even exist in real life in the modern day??? and if so is there a limit on how tall of buildings they clean?) but beefed up to support a fuckhuge pane of glass and at least 2 people to install it?

at that point it's probably easier to just track down the flying neon tights-clad asshole who decided that your window was an acceptable place to slam the evil dr. spiderfucker and demand he fly up there and fix it for you.

actually, do you think there are any superhumans who decided "nah, the whole hero thing just aint for me". and just used their powers to handle tasks that would be difficult for normal humans to do

like some lady with lightning powers just sayin "you expect me to bust my fuckin ass saving this city -for fucking FREE, i might add-" (sidenote, do you think any superheroes have a patreon??? like might be tricky if they got the whole secret identity thing goin on but you could prolly make bank) "and constantly getting injured because NO i'm not impervious or anything my powers are literally JUST lightning -and, y'know, medical bills arent fucking CHEAP and heroism aint got no insurance plan and the american healthcare system is a fuckin JOKE."

"and the whole time making some dickhead villain who calls himself some shit like roboclown form a personal vendetta against me. that he tries to make into a gross heteroerotic rivalry and he gets fixated on me and tries to figure out my secret identity- yeah, i'd have to make up some alter ego like a high stakes version of hannah montana, probably someth cliche like 'electra' (but not electra bc that just reminds me of sigmund freud and his idea of an electra complex. god. what a creep.)- so that he could hold my family hostage."

(edit: looked it up and apparently electra complex was made up by jung, not freud. freud rejected it, not because it's fucking creepy bullshit (which it is) but because he felt like the idea would make boys and girls sound too similar and we can't have that, now can we?)

"and i mean okay i don't technically have family cuz my parents died in some kind of obligatory backstory bullshit probably involving a laboratory accident that led to me getting my powers. and like, fuck marriage and kids. but roboclown or whatever could still hurt my dogs."

"you expect me to be a fucking hero and put up with that shit??? are you out of your fucking MIND? have you gone off your rocker, flew over the handle, or simply fell off the waggon? no. no. FUCK that. i don't care if you think it's my responsibility to be a hero i didnt ASK for this bullshit."

"i just use my lightning to generate electricity for the local power plant. only gotta work a couple hours a day and i make a FORTUNE. i have health insurance with dental and a 401k. no one forming grudges against me except oil tycoons. but like they could just bribe me to stop, it'd be much cheaper for them to bribe me than to hire an assassin ballsy and skilled enough to kill a bitch with electric hands so like. i'm not worried."

...anyway. if you don't have a phone case i don't fucking trust you.

#eliot posts #my adhd really took over #yinz are LUCKY i went back and added paragraph breaks #this was originally one big text wall. #long post

[sinningarchive]

this is dumb and not related to rp at all but i've had my mouse for almost a year and she always has had the basic, first time getting a mouse kind of cage and i recently spent like. $130 on her specifically to get her a new cage and all of this stuff inside of it so now she has this two story cage with a lil hammock that's shaped like a strawberry and all of the wood chews and a giant ass wheel instead of the tiny and shitty one and different things for her to do and i'm gonna connect her old cage to it bc i bought the shit to do that but i wanted her to get used to the new one first and she has!!!! she likes it!!!! she does stuff in it!!!! and she's not in a tiny shitty cage anymore!!! i also moved shit around so i see her everyday instead of her being in this fuckin corner that i never go over to so now i see her whenever i go downstairs and i'm stupidly happy about this

#my family agreed to this $4 mouse as a pity pet bc at the time they insisted that i could not and would not get a dog #and after being a shitty owner to her for so long and not being a Good Owner that really tries to make sure she is happy all the time #i feel like i built a fuckin house for this mouse and technically i did i built this fuckin cage and i decorated it #and i still have extra stuff i bought that doesn't fit in her cage that's just laying around now and i'm #i'm?? proud of myself?? which is dumb but #for so long i felt so shitty about owning this mouse because she was in a cage #and i constantly felt/still do feel like i'm caged in this house to never be free #and i neglected giving her things to improve her life that weren't just the basics #because I felt like i didn't deserve anything either #i really projected all of my shit on this mouse #and now after doing everything to go to college and Get Out and having a job i feel like i can finally #spoil this small creature #i also bought her better food so instead of the like #mystery blocks she has sunflower seeds and lil pellets that look like dried bread and lil nuts and i'm just #why didn't i do this sooner this feels great #anyway #it's midnight #and i'm rambling about a mouse #goodnight #official nonbinary babadook!

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

i am very much enjoying my vague void! it's currently blasting hozier at full volume and that's almost louder than my internal screaming (don't worry, everything is fine, i just saw a spider)

i've never once in my life have followed a recipe correctly. all of my measurements are completely random and whatever happens happens. it is no longer in my hands. whatever eldritch entities exist take the wheel. and i absolutely refuse to spell anything in english without autocorrect because y'all have way too many double letters and random vowel placement

thank you! sadly, i won't have a break right now, because we just had christmas vacations, but the start of the new semester is always pretty chill. and you're absolutely right, i should take up necromancy! the snow and the cold will add to my mysterious vibes. i just need to get a big black cape with a hood to complete the aesthetic

i definitely picture everything above 5'6 feet as the same height. 5'7 and 6'2? the exact same thing. no difference here

how is morepork a real bird name. it's just... more pork? but the bird is magnificent. i completely approve of your first order as bird queen, not that you need approval from mere peasants like me, but it's a great order. ohhh salps look really cool, and it does look a lot like it! when you said boob implant i thought of mermaids and them using salps as boob implants but then i realised wait wouldn't jellyfish be better for that? because of their shape? ignoring their little leggies they're quite boob shaped, no? and then i realised that i was thinking about mermaids and alive boob implants... if i had to think it, you have to read it. i'm sorry

i was sold before but now i'm even more sure that i want to hire you. and I'll make sure to have lactose free cheese for the backflips (unless you want the lactose version? i'm not judging). will the biting of ankles cost extra?

that sounds like a brilliant set-up for a horror movie where they kill off all the children one by one. it's absolutely horrifying. if something like that would've happened to me i would've most likely just passed out. whatever happens afterwards is not my problem. and now i really don't want to know what the hell your leg was caught on because that seems like knowledge that would get me killed

ah so you're a fellow dirt eater? according to my mom my favourite thing to do outside when i was a little kid used to be eating sand. just shovelling handfuls of it into my mouth and crying when my mom made me spit it out. which i refuse to believe. if there are no photos it didn't happen

you warm climate people are starting to make me think that i'm better adjusted to the cold than i thought i am! it's either that or our buildings are better heated. i definitely don't know if anyone else calls hot water bottled hotties but i like it so from now on i'm using it

that's so cute! i was clearly a way more selfish child because when i found any amount of money i just kept it and bought candy as soon as i could. i clearly couldn't save money then and i can't now. we have stores like that (or i'm assuming that they're like that solely based on how they sell lollies) and they used to be my favourite thing because you could get so many lollies for such a small price!! and my mom even used to let me order for myself sometimes so i always felt like a very big girl jsjshsbsjk

also the fact that i can't send pictures on anon is a crime (yes i know why and it's good that that's not possible because can you imagine anons being able to send pictures? oh no is all i have to say about it) but anyways. because i have this one super cursed photo that reminded me of you and now i can't share it :((

duuuuude, sick void bro. sounds like a vibing void. I feel like I haven’t seen a spider in awhile. Other than daddy long legs. But they’re chill. They mind their own business. 

I nearly always follow recipes exactly. My mum is like oh cook this for about 7 minutes? Yeah sure. I’ll take a wild guess. I’m like they say exactly 7 minutes so I’ll set a timer for 7 minutes and start a stopwatch so if it does seem to need more than 7 I can keep an eye on the extra time and be aware of exactly how long it takes me for next time. Other people are like oh let's see I have [lists 5-10 things in their fridge], hmm...oh I know what I could make with that! I’m like I have beans in my freezer because one recipe required them and no other recipes I know how to make do so what am I supposed to do with these now,,, this is stressful,,, basically I barely know how to cook and recipes are the only things saving me in that area. That is entirely fair. Except for the fuck duck, and murder is not the word you want surely, situations, it’s pretty helpful.

Ohhh I see. At least the start is chill! For a little! Before your entire situation spirals out of hand and you’re behind in every class and it’s taken you a whole day to read 10 pages and you’re exhausted and it’s only week 2. Just me? ok. fair. anyway. I want a cloak so bad. One of my uni friends tempted me to class because she said she was wearing a cloak so my depressed ass honest to god dragged myself out of bed and to said class just to see it. It was worth it. They’re incredible. Everyone should own a big cloak for the aesthetic.

I’m glad it isn’t just me hahaha. I can visualise my own height in feet but everything else is just the same size that is a vague amount taller than me, mentally.

It’s also known as the ruru. But the name morepork amuses me. It’s named after the call it makes haha. It does sound like it’s asking for more pork if you know to listen for that. thank u for ur approval, it means a lot, turns out becoming bird queen didn’t ACTUALLY get rid of my anxiety disorder weirdly enough so validation is great! lmaooo. What if the jellyfish stung them tho? At least salps wouldn’t do you dirty like that. The mermaids would just look like there are hundreds of bugs crawling around in their boobs, flesh shifting as they float around. Which is a vibe. If you’re into that. Jellyfish WOULD make a more solid, single, implant, some of them are definitely boob shaped. But that’s kinda boring no one’s gonna be traumatised by that. Salps on the other hand...yeah, that sight will DEFINITELY traumatise someone.

To be PERFECTLY honest I haven’t done a backflip in years but for lactose-free cheese? Dude. I’ll be going back to training. Gonna be the best backflip you’ve ever seen. As long as it’s not Tasty cheese I am content, but lactose free IS better. The biting of ankles will not cost extra, it is a pleasure to be allowed to do that.

Oh it absolutely would be. It’d be very funny if it reached the wider world bc people would probably be like ok but who would send kids into the bush like that,, it’s an odd concept. meanwhile everyone who grew up in nz is gonna be like y’all, you’re not gonna fuckin BELIEVE what i experienced growing up, it’s real dude. On one hand, I feel like murdering kids in a movie is questionable, on the other hand, It exists, so maybe people would be down for it. I feel like it’d be a good concept even if it wasn’t murdery tho. Like psychological horror? I’m not sure if I’m using that category correctly I don’t watch much horror. A kid following the rope but then being shifted into a different horror dimension but they never take the blindfold off because their teachers said not to and they’d probably have to let go of the rope to do it...I feel like this could work super well as a short film. The viewers see everything. The child just knows something is off and no one is coming when they call for help. I am so down for this. I also do not want to know what my leg was caught on. Some things I am better off not knowing.

yes! I am a fellow dirt eater! We had a sandpit at home (that’s a little bold. It was a large plastic shell that my parents filled with sand. technically a sandpit. but not fancy sdflsdkfsdf) but I don’t think I ever tried to eat it. Then again, I possibly did and just don’t remember because there’s no photo evidence of that one. I’d have to ask my parents sdfhsjdfs, I would however fully believe them if they said yes. it’s very characteristic of me. I don’t doubt it for a second. muuuum that’s my emotional support sand don’t make me spit it out smh the disrespect these days.

Oh I’m absolutely terrible even by most people’s standards around here when it comes to cold and hot temperatures. I remember sitting in the sun in my school shirt and school jersey in summer on a blazing day like it’s a bit chilly, isn’t it? Meanwhile my friends were in the shade absolutely dying from the heat. Likewise in winter I’d be shivering, teeth chattering, dying with my long sleeve thermal, my school shirt, my school jersey, my school jacket, my longs, warm socks and sneakers and gloves and school scarf while ppl would be walking around in a shirt and shorts like it’s a bit warm this winter huh? my body didn’t learn how to thermoregulate and it shows. But yeah NZ does also have a reputation for shittily insulated buildings and such. It shows. skhdfsfs if it’s not common use maybe don’t say can i have a hotty to someone without context but otherwise go ahead lmao. it’s a fun shortened version.

I was typically a very good saver, to the point where my extended family started gifting me gift cards and vouchers for Christmas and my birthday because if they just gave me money I’d put it in my bank account to save towards uni once I hit like, 12 years old. Which I think was a smart move. But apparently, I’m supposed to buy myself ‘something nice’ with it. I think I’m still an okay saver but I’m not as strict anymore. I’m aware of how much I can spare and I’m not just like you can never get anything for yourself ever, so I do get lil things for myself sometimes. oooo yay! At least you know what I mean. But yes. They were the gold mine for lollies. Absolutely terrific stores. My mum would be like hey lindsey how about you order? And I’d be like mother, I am 7 years old and I have an undiagnosed anxiety disorder everyone assumes is child shyness why would you think I would want to do that. Instead I will whisper my choices to you. After therapy tho I felt pretty rad for picking my own lollies by myself. I was like 13 at that point but sdfkjhsdf listen I got there in the end.

sdfkjsdfkjhsdf I like that a cursed photo reminded you of me. That’s all I need to hear. Tumblr said no anon dick pics but they also said no anon cursed photos either,,, very sad. for the latter part. the first part thank god. If I could turn on photos on anon I absolutely would just to see this but I don’t think I can :(

#tasty cheese is nasty and i will die on this hill #i'm not sure if other countries have like the same main cheeses or if it differs everywhere #tasty. colby. and edam are the main three i think of #i know there's like mild or some shit but i know only the blue yellow and red packets #either or a wasp or a bee just flew in my room but it flew out so i'll respect that #my plans for today were reply to your ask and that's it #what am i supposed to do for the next twelve hours #oh wait i know #m u r d e r............ #Anonymous