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myhoneststudyblr · 4 years

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every single student in the world has likely procrastinated at some point - i know i definitely have! sometimes i think it can be quite helpful because means that you don't spend every minute of every day studying... but on the other hand, it can become very hard to beat. there are so many advice posts in the community on this topic but i thought that i would share my own tips!

disclaimer: everyone studies differently and these are my personal tips. they may not work for you but they can be a good starting point

What is Procrastination?

i found this little summary of procrastinating on the internet and thought it completely covered everything that i wanted to say on this point:

Procrastination is the habit of delaying an important task, usually by focusing on less urgent, more enjoyable, and easier activities instead. It is different from laziness, which is the unwillingness to act.

Procrastination can restrict your potential and undermine your career. It can also disrupt teamwork, reduce morale, and even lead to depression and job loss. So, it's crucial to take proactive steps to prevent it.

The first step to overcoming procrastination is to recognize that you're doing it. Then, identify the reasons behind your behavior and use appropriate strategies to manage and overcome it.

- How to Stop Procrastinating by Mindtools

so what is learnt from this is that:

procrastination is not being lazy

it is avoiding tasks by doing other easier tasks

it can have negative effects

you need to proactively take steps to avoid it

first, recognise the procrastinating then use strategies to break the cycle

Conventional Tips

these are the basic tips that are some of the most well-known strategies for ending procrastination and can be some of the most important steps!

1. get organised. tidy up your desk to study space because there is nothing worse than having to work in a place that is chaotic and mess. collect the information you need for the task, for example, notes you've made or a textbook.

2. to-do lists are your friend. a lot of people (including me) really struggle with timetables for studying because it can seem really structured and there is no flexibility or real allowance for things that may crop up during the day (your food takes longer to cook, you have to unexpectedly do a task around the house, you get a really bad headache and need to take a break). in my opinion, to-do lists help solve this problem! you can clearly see the tasks that you want to get done for the day but you don't have stressful time constraints. personally, i always use todoist to keep track of everything. to-do lists also make it easier to break tasks down

3. break the task down. one of the biggest cause of procrastination is having a huge task or project ahead of you because it seems really daunting and where on earth are you even going to start? so break it down *completely*. in your to-do list, don't just write ‘german homework’, write down even task that you need to do within it and be specific: for example ‘pg. 11 ex 4a, 4b and 4c’, ‘textbook listening task on pg. 47′ and ‘250-word essay on social media in Germany’. breaking it down makes the tasks seem more attainable and when you’ve done one and you can cross it off your list, it gives you a boost to keep going

4. eliminate distractions. this is a big one. even if you do all of the above, if you are constantly being distracted by things, you aren't going to get much done. try to find a place that is quiet enough that you can focus and you feel comfortable studying in. as well as this you need to think about what to do with your phone as the likelihood is that this will be the most distracting thing. you can simply turn it off, put on do not disturb, leave it in another room or use and app like forest (that last one is what i use and i don't know where i would be without it!)

5. use incentives. finishing a task is an achievement so treat it like one! before you study, decide on something that you will give yourself as a reward for doing it. this may be watching that new episode of your favourite programme or a tasty snack!

6. set timers. don't just launch yourself into a task, because that again can make it seem daunting and feel unending. rather, set a timer for a specific time because you’ll know that you just need to focus for that specific length of time and then you can go take a break and do something nice. for timing your study sessions, you could use the Pomodoro technique

7. allow for breaks (but try to avoid long ones). you are not a machine and as much as it would be great to be able to, you cant study for hours on end without giving your mind a break from focusing. so schedule in break time for yourself, particularly for times that you know your motivation dips, and do something nice. but be very careful that you don't accidentally slip back into procrastinating habits and keep breaks short. unless you are very disciplined it is unlikely that an hour-long break will stay just an hour.

8. know how you study but don’t be afraid to mix it up. everyone studies differently and so there are going to be some study methods that work better for some than others. so try to make sure that you are studying smart and that you aren't wasting your own time cause that can be incredibly unmotivating. HOWEVER, if there is anything that I’ve learnt from online school its that doing the same task all the time, every day is mind-numbingly boring and you just want to do anything else. so try to switch up what you are doing. if you usually just type notes from the textbook, maybe try doing it in a mindmap one week, or on flashcards, maybe do some practise questions to keep your mind engaged.

9. play music. now this one really depends on the person and how you study. some people need absolute silence and that is fine, but others need something to fill the silence or maybe cover up background noise (for example if you live in a busy household). try to pick music however that is not going to distract you - the key tips for this is to pick music without lyrics. this can be classical music, video game music, or general ‘chill’ music (there are so many playlists out there for chill studying music). i personally listen to Francesco Parrino religiously while studying because he does piano covers of pop songs, so i know the songs and enjoy them but there are no lyrics that can distract me

10. stay hydrated, well-rested and not hungry. this is part of eliminating distractions because if you are thirsty, you are going to be thinking about how you want a drink; if you are tired, you are going to be thinking about how tired you are; if you are hungry, you are going to be thinking about what you want for lunch or whatever. make sure you are hydrated, well-rested and not hungry so you can focus solely on your task or work.

Unconventional Tips

these are some slightly more unusual tips that you might not have seen before but that I've nevertheless found very useful!

1. video yourself or do a timelapse. this is something that I’ve only recently done because i saw a tip on this from someone during my quarantine challenge and thought that it would be cool to do. and it really works! i did it twice once when i was typing notes and a second time when i was handwriting notes and it really made me focus on what is as doing because the video put some pressure on me to look like i was properly studying - i could take a 5-minute break in the middle of my work to mess around with my pen, I just had to keep going so it really forces you to do the work. also watching the video when i was done made me really proud cause i had visual proof of how much i completed!

2. accept that some days you are going to get very little done. this may seem a little bit odd to put on a post that is meant to avoid getting nothing done but it’s actually a very important thing to remember. sometimes you need to take days off because otherwise you are going to burnout and some days you are just not going to be in the right mindset for studying because maybe you are exhausted after a big exam, or you have a headache or you feel unwell. you just need to accept it, draw a line under it, take time for yourself, and resolve yourself to work tomorrow once you feel a bit better. there is no shame in taking time to make sure you stay healthy. if you can, try to get your quickest, easiest task done so you have some sense of accomplishment.

3. ‘churn it out and f**k off’. this was my mum’s motto when she was studying and working in academia. and she recently told it to me when i was getting stressed about all the big tasks during online school. i am a perfectionist and i always want to hand in my very best work, put 100% into everything, but honestly that is impossible. some days you just need to get stuff done and if that isn't your very best then it doesn't matter too much because at least you got it done. and once you get it done you can just forget about it.

4. ask a friend or parent to check up on you. when you are studying by yourself it can be hard to motivate yourself because you know that no ones actually going to check whether you made those votes or did the reading, so ask a friend or someone you live with to check whether you've done the work or get them to read essays. you then get an external reason to study or do your tasks because you need to show them something.

5. rephrase how you think of tasks. when you think that ‘you need to do this task’ or ‘you have to get this done’, a lot of the time this causes unneeded stress and anxiety that is not going to help you at all. also it makes it seem like you are being forced to do something and human beings generally don't act great when they are forced to do something. so try to change your language when thinking about task into one that is more forgiving such as ‘i choose to do this project so that i can go meet my friends tomorrow’ and ‘i choose to read this book now because it will help me in the lecture next week’. this is probably the most difficult strategy on this list and it will take a lot of practice (i am certainly still practising it) but in the long term, it can help you change the way in which you view studying for the better.

✨✨✨

i hope this was helpful and that these tips will be useful, and perhaps you've discovered some new ones! if anyone has anything to add please feel free to reply or reblog with the advice <3

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maries-gallery · 3 years

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heyy<33 may i ask for matchup? :) for both SFW and NSFW

im female, she/her, lesbian

my personality type ‘s infp-t, im REALLY introverted, im quite funny (at least people say so) i make a lot of snarky comments. im perfectionist but also procrastinator. im also REALLY sleepy, like i could sleep all day (but i still go to sleep at like 4am💀)

my hobbies r reading, writing & track

my likes r HISTORY (especially ww2 ) i also really like the history of science. im also interested in criminology

in a partner i want someone who understands my humor, someone caring and who doesn’t make me feel alone

I match you with Hange ! (I know it is said that the gender is free to interpretation and here I decided to make them female)

SFW :

- Hange would find you so cute and adorable. She’d probably be the one to approach you and would ask a ton of questions. She is just so curious and really wants to get to know you because you seem like such a wholesome person to be around ! But in the end she’d probably end up speaking more than you and you’d have to listen to her ramble on and on about Titans for hours. Not that you mind though, the passion in her gaze when she talks about this subject is just mesmerizing. But she’d get worried when she sees you lightly dozing off, trying your best to stay awake. She ‘d immediately apologise and would insist on you getting to bed right this moment. But be sure that she’ll continue to talk all the way to the dorms and the following days.

- In the end she’ll freak out, realising that she basically hogged all the verbal space and would make it a point for you to tell her about yourself and she’ll gladly listen to you rambling this time. And now she is totally hooked, because the more she learns about you the more she finds herself drawn to you and... in love with you. You’re just a burst of colours and you have so many layers to unravel. And we all know Hange loves a complex person.

- She loves your snarky comments and your humour and would pay with her head to see you snarking back at Levi. His face is just so priceless and she’d tease him to no end. Talking of the trio, she spends hours rambling about you to Erwin and Levi, it becomes so overwhelming that they actually have to ask her to shut up because she just gets so hyper at the thought of you.

- When the two of you finally get together she is the most supportive girlfriend ever and the most loving person ever. She is just a huge mom and your health and happiness are her priorities.

- She loves to read what you write if you’d let her and is just so curious and admirative of your talent. She also loves for the two of you to have reading dates during which the two of you would just snuggle up and read silently basking in each other’s presence. Expect her to get interested in anything you show interest in, it is just her way of getting closer to you and of showing her support and love. Track ? She is over there cheering for you and awaiting you with a towel and cold water bottle. History ? Come on, don’t be shy, tell her all you know and she’ll collect every book she can on the subject to enhance both of your knowledge. Criminology ? She loves it and I see her being at least a bit knowledgeable about this subject so you’d probably have very long conversations. She just loves everything about you.

- Please, for her own sake and yours take care of yourself and sleep. She’d have to tie you to the bed otherwise. Mommy Hange is very set on making sure that you get enough sleep and she won’t let you get away with less than 7hours of deep slumber. She’ll actually sleep with you to make sure that you sleep correctly, her arms around your waist as she cuddles into you.

- She is also very admirative of your care for details and willingness to do your best. But the moment you overwork yourself or are too harsh on yourself for not being perfect Mom Hange is there to kick those insecurities away. She’ll have none of it. And she can only imagine how terrible it is to live with both perfectionism and procrastination but she’ll always be there to support and help you. Because the problem doesn’t come from you being lazy or anything and she makes sure that you understand that, it is just a matter of detecting what scares you in a certain task or what emotions it brings up which could create an avoidant response on your part. And she is willing to spend hours analysing these things with you to help you sort things out. Yes, she is supportive.

- But Hange too has her insecurities and you’d have to reassure her when they strike. Especially after she takes on the role of Commander. Please remind her that she is doing her best and that she deserves this role and absolutely wings it because she just feels so out of place and not up to the task. Please just cuddle her and reassure her with some hot tea and sweet words.

Scenario :

The light sound of the rain’s pitty patter filled the quiet room. Your fingers turned another page, engulfed by the book in your hand, the other absentmindedly playing with your girlfriend’s dark locks. A contented sigh fell from her lips at the light tug on her scalp, all tension leaving her body as she finally allowed herself to relax. Moments like these were a rarity considering how busy the both of you were with the scouts and duties. But how she loved it, just laying there with you, bathing in your presence and the comfort of your touch.

Her heart swelled as she gazed up from her book, eyes on you. She loved the way nothing could distract you whenever you’d stick your nose in a book, how the cutest of frowns would grace your features when you’d encounter some passages or how your lips would press in a tight line during the climax. You were just so... Alive. And she couldn’t thank the world enough for gracing her with your existence, for keeping you safe through all the shit the both of you went through.

She shifted on the couch, sitting up beside you, her head leaving the comfort of your laps. A soft smile crossed her lips as she leaned onto you, head now resting on your shoulder and peering at the words on the pages.

“Is it good, Love ?” Her voice resonated right next to your ear, catching you by surprise. You jolted lightly, barely suppressing a yelp. But a sweet smile soon overtook your features as you glanced at your partner.

“It is.” You answered, putting your book down on your laps and facing Hange. “It’s the story of a man obsessed with bodily scents. He kills women and takes their scent in the hope of concocting the best perfume ever.” You explained, gesturing to the novel, The Perfume by Suskin.

The dark haired female cringed at the description, a light chuckle falling from her lips, you were truly full of surprises. “This sounds twisted.”

You returned a short laugh, sending butterflies straight to your girlfriend’s stomach. “It is ! But that’s what makes it interesting.”

Her gaze softened at the sight of your bright smile. She supposed you were right. Plus, when it came to twisted minds, she was one to talk. “Fair enough.”

You gazed at her, tilting your head to the side at her thoughtful expression. “What is going on in that head of yours ?” You queried, turning to her, resting your head on the back of the couch.

Her eyes locked with yours, loving and gentle, very different from her usual bubbly self. Right now she looked calm, relaxed even. The fruit of your company.

“Just... I love you. I hope you know that.” Her voice reached your ears like gentle waves on a summer morning and you couldn’t repress a soft smile.

You leaned in towards her, pressing your forehead to hers, your breaths mingling together at the closeness you shared. “And I love you too, Hange.”

A quiet chuckle left her lips, “My name sounds so much better when you say it.”

Your hand cupped her cheek, fingers idly tracing patterns on her soft skin. “Well I could say it again but I’d rather kiss you.” And with that your lips pressed together in a firm and tender kiss, the simple gesture sending butterflies to your core and jolts of electricity throughout your veins. Just as thunder bolted outside.

Song :

Put your head on my shoulder, Paul Anka

NSFW :

- Hange is a dom in the bedroom. She loves to pleasure you and observe all the expressions you make as she touches you. Considering her slightly obsessive tendencies and her very sharp observations she’d be quick to find all the places and gestures that make you sing. She’d play you like a perfectly tuned violin. Better at giving oral and those fingers are just holy.

- She can be both passionate and loving or a huge tease who’ll have you begging for her touch. She is also very much into praises and loves telling you how good you’re making her feel and how much she loves you. She also definitely has a mommy kink, but won’t push it on you if you’re not comfortable with it of course. Overall she is willing to try anything you want, just ask and she’ll make the preparations. She is very adventurous.

- Her moans are just on another level. She’ll moan or grunt your name right next to your ear and you’d be putty in her hands. But she prefers to hear you though, so she’ll always make sure to keep her own sounds to an appropriate level. She is also a dirty talker and god is she good at it. She’d just whisper the lewdest of things in your ears with the most casual of tones.

- Expect lots of kisses and hand holding, your fingers meshing together on the sheets as she takes care of you. She is also very energetic and can go a few rounds.

- In the end, sex is to her first and foremost a way to bond with you on another level and she really sees it on a romantic light. This is her opportunity to show you how much she loves you and how much you mean to her.

- She’d spend hours studying your body after the both of you came down from your high, she’d lazily run her fingers over every mole and every detail on your skin and body, complimenting and cataloguing each one. She just loves your body so much and treats it as a temple.

Match ups are closed

Here ! I hope this met your expectations ! I am sorry for the wait... Things have been busy and I had to take care of other things. Have a nice day and take care !

#aot x reader #aot fluff #aot smut #snk x reader #hange x reader #Matchups

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fairestwriting · 3 years

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Hello! May I request a match-up, please? I’m a female, INTP (enneagram 5w4 and tritype 548), neutral good, and an introvert.

I love to spend time in peace and quiet, preferably somewhere in nature. With strangers I behave coldly and wary, but in the circle of loved ones I become more confident and friendly. I think I can be compared to a hedgehog. I’m a perfectionist, but at the same time, I tend to procrastinate. I enjoy long walks in the park (in the field or in the forest), hiking, birdwatching, mushroom hunting and fishing. I really love rural life, so I dream of getting my own house with a garden and a vegetable garden someday. To some extent, I love loneliness, and when I find myself in someone’s company, I quickly begin to seek solitude. I like to read books, mostly treatises, biographies, popular science literature, and much less often novels. I’m a rapturous person, a romantic who can find beauty in a small stone or tree roots, but I try not to show it too much, preferring to keep everything inside. I appreciate politeness and etiquette; therefore, showing due respect to my interlocutor, I expect the same from him (otherwise, I’m disappointed in the person and draw some conclusions). I don’t use swear words or some dirty jokes, and I’m not very well-versed in modern youth trends. My friends say that I’m a rather innocent and naive person in some aspects. I often run away from the real world into the world of my own fantasies and I cool down quickly when some idea or work ceases to interest me, but when I’m very seriously passionate about something (for example, reading, study or work), I can forget about basic things (sleep, food, or all together). Career and self-development are always on the first place for me. My family is in business, so this partially affected me because sometimes I notice that I think like an entrepreneur, and, knowing various business tricks, I cannot easily get led to advertising. I’m witty and resourceful, I have a good sense of humor.

Regarding relationships, I like interesting people with fascinating hobbies (preferably related to hikes or art), which I could also try, because I enjoy learning new things and sharing what I know with other people; I love those who are open and honest in relationships, as well as understanding and intelligent people.

I prefer action to words. It’s a little difficult for me to talk about my feelings, so I express them through caring for another person, showing an interest in what he loves, and I prefer that the person with whom I would be in a relationship do the same, since I see no point in long romantic speeches.

I also really love making cakes, pastries and other sweets. I’m just learning, but I love the idea that I can please my loved ones and make them smile by cooking something delicious for them.

Well, I hope it turned out not too much and not confusing. P.S. I would like to stay anonymous if possible.

Thanks for considering my request!

Oh I knew just halfway through this that I’d definitely pair you with Jade

Getting the obvious out of the way- Your interests match up pretty well, he also really loves hiking and nature, so you two could have a great time engaging in that together! You’ll never run out of things to talk about or do.

Jade is also very devoted and caring, but not in an overwhelming way. He’s understanding, mature, and more on the discreet side when it comes to affection, so you’d get along pretty well. He doesn’t mind that you have trouble putting your feelings into words, you caring for him and spending time with him already tells him all he wants to know, and he’ll do the same for you, while also knowing to give you space when you want it.

Both of you would just be very comfortable around each other, I think! You can talk about anything or nothing at all, you two operate in very similar energy levels too. You’d be a whole power couple tbh, all pristine and polite like royalty.

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst matchup #jade leech #lis writing

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knightofameris · 4 years

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can i get a hq matchup? preferably with a guy? i’m an INFP, and i’m a slytherin. I have ADHD, Depression, and Anxiety. I’m quiet around strangers, but once i’m next to people i know, i’m really loud. i’m stubborn, witty, loyal, passionate, persistent, protective, and i tend to speak before i think. i have trust issues, but i tend to jump into battles for anyone i like. I like to draw, sing, write, and play games. I self deprecate a lot and i have a dark sense of humour. I like horror movies and

i have a fascination with crime(mainly serial killers). I’m very self-conscious, but when i’m excited, i tend to throw that away until i calm down. I have Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, which means that whenever i get a negative reaction to something i become very distressed. I’m not a very active person, but if it’s an activity i like, i’ll try to do it often. i tend to procrastinate a lot. I’m very much a perfectionist, and i’ll push myself until i break down. I like to put my friends before myself, taking all of their problems and trying to solve them. I don’t hesitate to fight for my friends either. I also tend to tease said friends, sometimes going overboard. i’m very much emotionally controlled, it doesn’t take much to get me upset/angry. When i do get upset i start to physically shake, and i tend to cry. I like quiet, and i’m terrified of crowds, vomit, and being alone. I’m very much touch-starved, but i’m awkward with affection and don’t know how to show it. thank you so much

match ups are closed! check match up statuses on my pinned post because they’ll change! (in the mean time, my 500 event is open for self ships in Haikyuu!)

HIII THANK YOU FOR WAITING FOR SO LONG

so let’s just get to it, thank you for requesting btw!

I think I have to ship you with Noya :3c

Why I think you work well together!

Okay, for one thing, I think Noya is someone who may not fully understand things, but he will do his best to support you in any way he can. I’m also INFP/ENFP and like I can see myself with Noya and mayhaps I’m projecting a bit so I can see you with Noya LOL. I think Noya is also someone who’s rather patient? Kinda? Like to get to know you and to get you to trust him. He’s jsut a very open baby and wants to get to know you and because of that he’ll wait till whenever you’re comfortable. ALSO NOYA I FEEL LIKE IS TOUCHY. So he might give you hugs or jump on you or wahtever because !!!! he hyper baby. I like the idea of the two of you both hating doing work but you guys both somehow motivate each other to do so. And if you ever need a hypeman for like being more active he’s your guy! He’ll also make sure you’re taking care of yourself too because he knows how much it’s actually detrimental when it comes to trying to push yourself. Noya’s also easy to tease and he’ll take it. If he notices that you’re offput by anything, he’ll try his best to help you out. Even if he’s not the best at reading people’s emotions.

How you get together!

I like to think you guys have been classmates for however long

somehow being put in the same class every year

and thorugh all the different schools you guys would go to after graduating from primary to middle to high

so you guys know each other KINDA

i don’t think you guys really get to know each other till high school?

because this time around you guys are sitting next to each other!

and you’re both strugglign to get started on the work

lucky for noya you’re a perfectionist, despite being a procrastinator (honestly big same lol)

so being big brain

you guys do work together

homework and otherwise

you vaguely knew him, he’s loud, wants a girlfriend, friend’s with tanaka and supposedly a really good libero with tanaka

you guys become pretty good study buddies

but on one of the nights

you fund that you’re kinda bored

and you both actually got ahead in work

so y’all ended up watching movies

then played some video games

and so a sorta tradition came by where once a week you and noya would just chill

no work

no volleyball

just hang out!

tanaka got jealous lol cus noya got to hang out one-on-one with YOU! tanka thought they were date nights

but i like to think this got y’all to develop feelings eventually

friends to lovers yknow but it was hard cus

you didn’t really let him in but he didn’t mind, even if you did like him

he’d wait

and he liked being friends with you because as long as you were happy its fine

plus you saw how he was with kiyoko lmao

but maybe there was one night

a night where you guys weren’t doing anything

for once the night was calm and maybe you did open up that night

but either way noya says somethng to you that kinda just sticks

“however long it takes, i’ll support you no matter what! even if we’re on separate sides of the world”

#ameris ships people #kaaidalupita #lol IM SORRY SOMETIMES #IM JUST BAD AT TRYING TO MAKE MEANINGFUL WORDS #but sometimes its in the simple words that make it meaningful?#im just making excuses lol #hope u like it!

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kat-writes-haikyuu · 4 years

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Matchup Exchange

The amazing @todorokis-yn has agreed to do a matchup exchange with me!

- i have an rbf so a lot of people tell me they were intimidated by me at first, esp bc they think i’m cool (but i truly am not. legit not even joking lmfao) but once they get to know me i’m super warm! i’m a good listener & also really understanding

- i’m super thoughtful! sometimes to a fault bc i think/worry too much about how my words/actions might affect other people, but in general i’m always looking out for my friends & offering to do things for them bc it’s how i show that i care

- most definitely an ambivert. i don’t mind going out (if i don’t look like a gremlin that day) but going out too many times in a week both drains my energy & makes me feel SUPER guilty bc i’m a workaholic so i get hella anxious if i’m not doing work or being productive lol. but i also like having my own time to watch anime, be a bum, & write matchups haha

- i’m really down-to-earth. i think one of my biggest pet peeves are when people are arrogant so i wish they’d be more humble, but bc i’m so used to putting myself down i really struggle with my confidence & always feel like i’m not good enough lol rip

- my sense of humor can be pretty dry & sarcastic but i’m also told i radiate chaotic energy lol. i don’t mind looking dumb & saying stupid stuff if it means making people laugh, but i can be pretty witty!

- my heart is so big. like legit i care so much about other people but it’s also kind of easy to take advantage of me LOL. i’m trying not to take any more bullshit after being traumatized so many times but it just doesn’t change my caring nature. my friends & family are the most important people to me! i’m often told that i inspire other people to care for their loved ones as best as they can :’D

- i’m pretty well-rounded in terms of academics, social life, & personal life! i’m super ambitious but also a perfectionist to a fault. it’s a bit of a juxtaposition but i procrastinate doing certain things bc i feel like i won’t be good at it, when deep down i know the only way to get better is to DO it & practice. idk i beat myself up a lot & just never give myself a break. i’m super anxious & also a people-pleaser; i’m stubborn but will usually let people win bc i hate conflict lmao

- some of my hobbies include playing piano, dancing, & singing! i’m a very musical person & dance is the only form of exercise i’ll do lol. i love love LOVE going to cafes & coffee shops to do work, & i also love binge watching anime by myself or with friends. i’m a junk food fanatic & idk just overall pretty wholesome even though i don’t look like it lol.

I would match you with...

Kuroo!!

So, for starters, he would not mind your RBF, and will tell you that you are as cool as everyone thinks you are which you definitely are, and you can’t convince me otherwise

He would love that you have a huge heart, as he himself has a pretty kind heart

Kuroo would look out for you and make sure that no one will EVER take advantage of you again

He believes that you are the most kindhearted and inspiring person ever!

He admires how careful you are when talking to people, but would tell you that you don’t have to worry about saying anything wrong!

Kuroo understands that going out too many times may be draining for you, being friends with Kenma and all, but he loves that you are open to going out!

When you get anxious about not doing work, Kuroo will reassure you that you can relax, and don’t have to work all the time!

He will watch anime with you, and just bum around with you, if you are okay with him being there

He doesn’t need to constantly be doing something, just being with you is enough for him

Kuroo will always lift you up when you bring yourself down, as he doesn't understand how someone so incredible doesn’t see how amazing they are

Kuroo radiates chaotic energy himself, and you would join him and Bokuto in the chaos they create

He finds your sarcastic and dry humor hilarious

He understands that you hate conflict, but he will encourage you to hold your ground and fight a bit more, as he always strives to win

Kuroo loves watching you dance, and will ask you to teach him

One of his favorite pastimes is listening to you sing and play the piano

He loves your voice, and thinks that you are an angel on earth!

Cafe dates are very common! He loves hearing about your day, or if your working, he loves the cute face you make when you’re concentrating

When you don’t want to go out you guys would get junk food and binge whatever anime you want!

Thank you so much for doing this with me! I had so much fun writing this, and I hope its good! Have a wonderful day!

#matchups #haikyuu #Kuroo #haikyuu Kuroo #haikyuu matchups #match ups #matchup #matchup exchange

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icewindandboringhorror · 4 years

Photo

Another set of responding to asks lol.. As usual I have them numbered and will also write out the ask in the text, especially since the screencaps are all blurry and taken at various times/compiled together badly and probably hard to read ghghhggh..... answers under the read more ~

-------------------------

1. "Hi I don't mean to bother you at all, but I was wondering where you get your rocking horse shoes? (I think thats what they're called) I've been looking everywhere and I can't seem to find any :(( "

I don’t entirely remember, since I got them like 6 or 7 years ago.. I think maybe at some point that place ‘bodyline’ or something had some cheap ones? But I don’t see them on the site anymore, they were like $50 or $60. Now when I google it I can only find these insane like $600 ones from vivian westwood or whoever, or ones that are platform shoes but not necessarily the same type. Maybe you could find some on aliexpress or ebay or something? Usually you have to use weirdly specific search terms and look for a while, but you can often find stuff like that on those sites. Sorry I couldn’t be of more help!!!

2. "I've been sick for over a month and my doctor tested me - everything came back fine. After some discussion it appears that my ptsd symptoms came back and the stress on my body is making me fatigued, sick and dizzy. I don't want to say that this could be similar to you situation, but if you have a therapist or someone to talk to about any stresses/your sickness, it might help relieve the pressure a bit. Good luck, I'm so sorry you feel so unwell"

Thank you for sharing! Yeah, I think stress definitely plays a part in why I feel sick so often. Currently I’m not still having the same problem I was having a few months ago when you sent this, so that’s good at least!!

3. “Hi! Do you plan to ever have more sculptures for sale? Or would you do commissions? I haven't seen any in a while but wanted to buy one! :-O”

I have plenty that I want to sell, I guess it’s just hard for me to get set up. Since so much of the reason I procrastinate selling stuff is because I hate the stress of deciding on a price, I’ve thought for a while now that maybe I can just auction them (so I just set a base price, but people bid whatever they feel is fair and I don’t have to decide myself). But I’m just not sure of a good way to do that.. Ebay has auctions, but I don’t want random strangers buying them, I’d rather stick to just the pool of people who follow my art blog and are already familiar with my sculptures or etc. I could do them on here ?? (like, ‘reply to this post to bid, bids close 8am EST, whoever said the highest number sends the money through paypal and then I send the sculpture’ sort of thing???) But I’m not sure if it’s legal to sell stuff through tumblr, or if there could be any other problems with doing it so ‘unofficially’ like that.. I don’t know, I have a vague idea, I’m just having trouble deciding the best way to set up something! I do want to sell some soon though, if I live through the pandemic and anything ever goes back to normal, of course (I wouldn’t want to be having to leave the house to ship stuff in the mail right now).

As for commissions, I have actually done sculpture commissions for friends a few times, so I feel confident-ish that I’d be able to do something like that, but I also wouldn’t want to get overwhelmed since it takes a lot of work. Custom sculptures may also be more expensive, and again.. I always feel guilty and strange about pricing. I’ve thought about doing very limited sculpture commissions though (like, maybe just one at a time, first come first serve or something..?). If it seems like there’s actual interest in that sort of thing, I could definitely consider doing it in the future!

4. " *picks up that smol blue kid and throws them across the room* "

ghgh .. the smallness is an advantage... they could just skitter back down your arm like a tiny squirrel the second you tried to pick them up.. Ythrili survival strategy is to be too small to catch in the first place

(also forgive every sketch in this post, my screen that you can draw on broke, so I’m either drawing stuff in ms paint with a mouse, or drawing stuff on paper and coloring it in firealpaca also with a mouse ghghh.. not going to look Good)

5. "it sounds like you feel pressure to only post good content on the internet, and so you end up psyching yourself out of posting at all. Am I on the right track? "

Not necessarily, like I mentioned in the tags I think it’s more just that everything is complicated by my brain. I can’t just do something effortlessly. Whether it’s for an audience or not, I get caught up on every little detail and adding so much complexity to everything that all tasks take me longer than they take other people lol. I think I just tend to take everything very seriously??

Like for example, I’m often accused of ‘turning things into a discussion’ when someone was just intending to make an off-handed remark, because if someone is bringing up a topic to discuss, I end up engaging with it 100% and putting full effort into it, and it’s hard for me to be ‘’casual’’ about pretty much anything (so if someone was like ‘My day yesterday was a bit weird’ I wouldn’t be able to just respond ‘aw man, that sucks’, I would just be like ‘Weird how? what happened? what made it weird? Are you okay now? Are things still weird? Have you found a solution?’ etc. etc.). I was also bad at essays/open answer questions in school (despite usually being great at the class otherwise), because no matter how hard I tried to filter my speech and cut things out, I was always far too long-winded and would get almost too engaged with the topic and lose the clear cut thought organization and focus that you’re supposed to have I guess. Even like, playing video games or something that’s supposed to be relaxing, I can’t just ‘jump into them’ and do whatever, usually any game I play (large ones at least, small 25 minute point and click adventure games don’t count of course), I have 7 - 10 pages of notes, do hours of research, look up most of the main spoilers, plan out and organize exactly how I’m going to play it and this and that, etc. lol...

So, that personality trait carries over into posting things online as well, I can’t just type something out quickly and hit ‘post’ without a second thought. Social media is hard for me because you’re supposed to use it casually, but I spend a long time re-reading drafted posts, thinking about them, etc. etc., and end up never actually getting around to posting anything. It’s not that I’m perfectionist about it and want it to be ‘good’ or appear a certain way, it’s just that my mind becomes preoccupied with things I guess. I’m a natural information gatherer, part of my natural way of processing things is to learn everything possible before acting, and I want to make sure I’ve fully thought about everything always, and know as much as I can (so I wouldn’t want to publicly say something without giving it a lot of consideration first, or post a picture without really thinking about if I want to post it, what my reasons behind posting it are (like if I’m posting something just for a validation of a certain aspect of myself VS. genuinely because I like it, etc.), if a few months from now I’ll still like that I posted it, etc. lol.. even with like silly cat photos or something, I have to analyze it and be like ‘hmm.. will I still stand by this picture in 4 months? why am I posting it publicly vs, just keeping it privately to myself on my computer? what’s important about it?’ etc. etc. ghgjhgjh.. like.. shut up lol.)

ANYWAY, yeah, I don’t know if it’s about wanting online content to be “good”, as much as it’s just like... I take everything way too seriously and am detail-oriented, contemplative, and analytical to a fault, which means it just takes me 10x longer to do basic ‘’simple’’ things that it would for other people. Though I can still be quite quick-thinking and decisive (I don’t often waver back and forth between things too long), it’s usually because I have years of thinking about the same exact things behind me, so I already am very clear on my opinions on stuff, to a point. But when it’s new things I’m less familiar with (like playing a new game, or posting regularly online), I’m still in a phase where I guess I have to give it a lot of thought. I just process things in a different way than other people I guess? Or have some inherent inability to be brief/concise/careless? If you’ve ever read any of my worldbuilding posts (where I usually start off wanting to explain one thing but then have to derail into 400 other misc. details and explanations and it ends up being a novel), then maybe it’s more evident what I mean, where it’s just like... my natural manner of speaking is Too Much.. I guess? Even this answer is winding and rambly, and I feel like other people could have answered this ask in only a few sentences lol..

If any of that makes sense? I don’t know how to describe how I am lol.. I just know it's hard to me to use social media in this ~~casual effortless~~ way most people seem to, since my brain is just inherently incapable of anything ‘’casual’’ or ‘’effortless’’ lol.. T u T ;;

6. " Hi! I hope this isn't weird to say, I'm designing a race for my DND campaign and some of the aesthetics are a little bit inspired by some of your costumes and makeup designs. You're awesome and your art is awesome so thanks : ) "

Thanks so much, I appreciate it! It’s always cool to hear I can inspire people~

(I usually don’t include many compliments in these ask compilation posts, but I always try to include a few, just to let people know that even if I don’t respond to all of them I do see them, and appreciate it!)

7. ???

I ended up cropping out this ask and not answering because some of the content was questionable (the reason WHY/how they wanted to make the character) in a way that I didn’t feel like getting into a long thing about, but part of it was relevant to making OCs in my world, so I will just make a quick comment:

I do state that this is a closed world, so I don’t want anyone making OCs of my species or etc. at least not at this point. Once my game is finished (if ever lol), or I write a few books or something, then I feel it would be understandable if people like, made up a background story for their player character and thus maybe could have some form of OC in my world and etc.. So I may be more relaxed on this in the future as I create content that people naturally would want to engage with , but for now, I’m still a very tiny creator with a closed world and it just doesn’t feel the same as like.. making an oc based on some thing in a big TV series or something. My worldbuliding and etc. is still very personal to me. Unless we’re directly collaborating on things (like mentioned here (link) a bit), or you’re a personal friend of mine who’s gotten involved in the world with my own guidance (meaning I could tell you lore things you’d need to know to make it accurate, etc.), then I don’t feel it’s appropriate for strangers to do at this point.

Especially since I don’t even have enough world info out for people to be able to reference (most species have half-complete guides, I’ve only ever talked about like, one continent, etc.). There are so many necessary details which I have only in my head and have never typed out, so again, idk, it’d just be weird. I’m not okay with it until I have a lot more lore published, and maybe a few actual works out there that people can reference/stories/games/basis for OCs to exist in the first place. If that makes sense?

8. "Hey, is it ok to use your outfit posts as inspiration for a dnd character? I love them so much, you have such a unique way of combining crazy patterns and fabrics into something that gives off a good vibe”

Yes, that would be fine! Thank you for asking, and I appreciate the compliments~ Hopefully I can get back to posting that sort of thing more often lol.. I’ve gotten WAY off my routine and haven’t done many outfits lately.. aaa

9. "hi Luca! i just wanted to say i really love all of your costumes and fashions and dress ups, its all so cool and pretty and interesting. i actually wanna dress up for fun for myself, and now that i know about the bins i think i'll try to convince my mom to take me to similar places for cheap clothing pieces, since my mom is worried about how much all this costume stuff costs. anyway, please keep posting your cool and beautiful stuff! "

Thank you so much! I wish you luck with your costumes! Yeah, I think there’s a common idea in a lot of fashion communities (like with makeup, costumes, etc.) that you have to always have high quality things to look nice, and even if sometimes you can do more with a little extra money, really you can make anything look good with what you have if you just combine it right. As I’ve always been quite low income, being into fashion and stuff has be discouraging at times, that I couldn’t afford certain materials or items, but you just have to find a niche where what you’re able to do works. For example, a lot of even ‘cheap’ lolita style clothings are too expensive for me (like $30 - $50 for a dress??? then the more pricey ones can be over $100???) lol.. BUT, then stuff like mori kei, cult party kei, fantasy costumes, etc. you can do with nearly any fabric you can find, and it’s still just as fun and creative. Most of the outfits I take pictures of probably cost me no more than $1 - $10 for every single item combined. Obviously it depends on location - I have better access now that I live near a place like the bins, which I understand there may not be similar resources in small towns or etc. But even with generic thrift stores (which may not be as cheap as the bins), you can still find pretty good alternatives to all the money it costs to buy things brand new. There’s still some stuff I legit just can’t do because I don’t have access to the materials, but for the most part I can manage everything I’d like with $3 eye-shadows and 15 cent tattered curtain fabrics lol. You can still do really cool stuff on a pretty nonexistent budget!

10. “do you have any tips on growing your hair long? is it expensive to up keep? i wanna grow mine out but it grows so slow!”

Well, I know nothing about hair and am not a hair stylist or etc. so I really don’t have any tips lol?? And I think hair maintenance depends a lot on the type of hair you have, not everyone’s is the same. I assume we must have similar hair (my natural hair is thick kind of coarse very dark brown/black hair, which is a bit wavy in some parts but mostly straight, but most of my hair currently (aside from the overgrown roots at the top) is altered because of damage from bleaching and etc., it’s more brittle. so that’s what I’ll be referencing) if you’re asking me this instead of someone else, but just know that whatever I say may not apply to you.

Anyway, I really don’t do anything to my hair to make it grow or etc., it’s just that I’ve gone a long time without cutting it lol. I used to cut it all the time or change styles, and now I’ve kind of just left it for 5 or 6 years or so. Because of my mental illness I have trouble maintaining personal care and etc., so I do sometimes go a week or more without washing it, even though I’m trying to work that into my schedule more (luckily I don’t have stinky head, I’ve heard some people’s scalp oils and stuff can smell weird if left for too long, I have the privilege of being able to like.. skip on hygiene a lot without it severely impacting my ability to do things or etc. since it’s usually not obvious if I haven’t bathed in a week or two).

My cat also EATS HUMAN HAIR for some reason, so I have to keep it up all the time, so that when I shed it doesn’t actually just fall loose onto the ground lol. Literally all I do to my hair is just keep it in two braids at all times and wash it with normal shampoo and conditioner occasionally, when I can. I really only think it’s gotten long because I’ve been leaving it alone and not messing with it, not really because of anything I’ve done (like I don’t use fancy products on it or etc.) And because of that, no, it’s not really expensive! It absolutely WOULD be if I were like..a normal functioning person and I regularly bleached it and dyed it and put products on it and styled it and used shampoo and conditioner every 1-3 days on it and etc. lol.. But I guess because I don’t do anything to it to maintain it, I’m not spending money on hairspray or dye or shampoo or etc. I used to bleach it a lot and straighten it and use hairspray and stuff on it, and it seems healthier (at least on the new top parts) now that I’m just ... ignoring it basically lol. But I don’t really know what to do to make it grow faster! I’m bad at self-care, and even if I do costumes and stuff, I really am not into beauty and hair and nails and makeup and stuff, so I’m probably the wrong person to ask hghjhb.. My upkeep routine is just... eat and sleep. wash face with water daily.. do extra stuff if you can manage to despite your functioning issues, etc. I’m definitely not a Beauty Advice person, I barely brush my hair even once a week lol

11. "Maybe you should reduce the number of races if it's too overwhelming? A world can still be immersive with only a few races in it."

(sidenote - Not to be nitpicky, but I make a specific point that the groups of fantasy creatures I create are species, not ‘’races’’, even though it is a commonly used term in fantasy worldbuilding, I think it’s inaccurate/weird )

I know I don’t have to make so many different groups, but, I guess I just really want it to be a broad setting. Part of the point in creating Nanyevimi (aside from worldbuilding just being extremely fun and a hobby greatly suited to someone with my personality traits lol) is to have an established world that I can do anything within, a framework already built where it'd be super easy to just drop a character anywhere on the map and already have an idea of what their culture, background, experiences, etc. would be based on pre-existing details about that portion of the world, etc. But I also want it to be broad, and varied, where every area kind of has it’s own dynamics going on there, so if you’re in a different place, you get a different kind of story. (like in an elven alliance city, you’d be better suited to tell an adventure story centering around complicated local politics, or city life, or etc.. whereas out in some isolated mountains in the south, it’d be more suited for a mystery story about stumbling across ancient ruins, or running into a mysterious traveler, etc.)

Which I guess doesn’t matter much, since I'm better at setting, world design, character design, planning, and details than I am at plot, so I probably won’t actually ever do anything with it (god forbid I tried to write a book or something with my utter inability to be concise/brief in any imaginable way). I can craft settings/characters/history/world-details all day endlessly, never losing inspiration or etc, but my weak point is actually telling stories within those settings and formulating a solid plan, organizing plot structures long term and etc.. Setting up everything for something to happen/creating a place where many interesting premises could occur is fine, but then actually thinking of how those things should OCCUR, or how the set up should play out, is where I get kind of lost. I guess the ideal at some point would be to have people working with me, helping when writing stories in my world/outlining games/etc, to add more cohesion/structure and reign in the unfocused stream of ideas, but that’s very unlikely since I don’t have any close friends that are good at organizing or plotting either, etc. BUT anyway, even if I can’t ever manage to do anything with it, the whole “having a setting I can use for anything I want if anything ever comes up, which is already established and thus makes it much easier to formulate ideas because all the background work is already done for myself” thing is at least a nice goal.. in concept...theoretically lol..

And, it’s not really too overwhelming, I think the overwhelming part is actually just formatting and producing those ideas in a consumable form. It’s not hard for me to keep track of 20 different groups and make backgrounds and every imaginable detail for them, but it IS hard to actually take all that information that exists in my head, type it out as a worldbuilding post, format and organize it, draw pictures to go with it, etc. If I could just post long stream of consciousness style 300,000 word long posts with no paragraph breaks, 4000 typos, barely any punctuation, etc., then I’d have A LOT more world-building info publicly available (since that’s what all the initial documents on my computer look like lol), but that’s just so inaccessible it’d be pointless to have public in the first place. The hard part isn’t really coming up with or managing the information, it’s just... organizing it all, and finding a way to share it.

12. "oh PLEASE tell me what boing peach beverage the elf looks like"

a quick sketch of them.. mysterious peach (and other produce) salesman

13. "fun question: what are ur fashion pet-peeves?"

Well, basically none because I hate when people are rigid over Fashion Rules or etc. Like, people who take pictures of others in public because they “look weird” , or who constantly trash on what people are allowed to wear, what patterns can be mixed with others, etc. etc. I get that some stuff can look kind of bad sometimes, and it’s not that I think nobody is allowed to criticize fashion trends or etc. (especially if they’re legitimately problematic, like of course someone wearing a homophobic t-shirt or doing blackface should be criticized), but I mean just like... that sort of trivial bitter criticism that doesn’t do anything but make people feel bad about the way they look or make them afraid to dress in ways they feel comfortable. Like taking a picture of someone and posting it online to make fun of them because they wore socks with sandals, or bullying 14 year olds who just started doing makeup and haven’t totally gotten their look sorted out yet, etc. etc. (ESPECIALLY since this can often intersect with classism, racism, etc. if you really examine what people mock as 'ugly' or 'unacceptable' styles, it's often stuff like men wearing dresses/makeup, women not shaving, clothing associated with poverty (like wearing “”cheap”” clothes), physical traits commonly associated with poc, making fun of people who look a certain way likely due to mental illness (like fidgeting, dirty mismatched clothing, carrying stuffed animals or comfort items in public etc.), etc. etc.

I find costumes and makeup and outfits to be a very cool and fun way to express myself. So when people are complete freaks about it and set out to just relentlessly make others feel bad for no good reason, it’s like... obnoxious... How can you take something with so much potential and limit it and close others off and turn it into this rigid hateful thing, when it should be something that everyone is able to be passionate about and appreciate?? Outside appearance isn't everything, but it's a tool of expression for so many people and can relate to who they are as a person, people should never feel uncomfortable to be who they are or look how they look just because some dumbass rich person writing for a style magazine has the gall to declare some random thing to be 'Unfashionable' despite not having a genuinely creative bone in their body, or some bigot thinks that certain things are ‘ugly’ or ‘unprofessional’ due to their own mental associations, etc.

But anyway, I guess if I had to choose a few things that I just think look kind of odd to me personally/are generally off-putting...

--- the overdrawing lips thing when you can see the persons actual lip-line and it almost looks like they have two mouths or something? (if not done intentionally for costume makeup). It can look a little strange to me sometimes, like an optical illusion where you see multiple mouth lines at once?? idk like this?

--- freckles that are just round circles and really heavy and don’t look realistic (though again, I also realize this could just be the person’s first time drawing them on or something and I’m not mocking for lack of skill, etc. I just mean that it’s a little strange to look at, not actually BAD though) (and it can also be intentional, like for a cartoony costume look) ---- People adopting cutesy/childlike fashion and clothing and sexualizing it or using it as part of their sex/kink stuff.. I just feel like anything associated with children should not be sexualized..? If the first thing someone thinks when seeing children's school uniforms or frilly little girl’s doll dresses or whatever is that it could be a Hot Thing then hhh... like why is your brain making those connections lol.. People can dress how they want for whatever reasons they want, but that’s always personally creeped me out a little. Similar to our culture’s obsession with looking young being ‘hot’ (like a grown man wanting someone who’s a legal adult but still “looks 16″ or etc.), where it’s like.. okay, I guess yeah outwardly you can make that choice, and maybe aren’t directly causing harm, but.. the underlying tones of it and etc. still make it very unsettling to witness lol... ---- anything appropriated obviously, as well as fetishization or bastardization of cultures, like t-shirts with Japanese writing on them Just For Aesthetic, or taking certain culturally or religiously significant symbols or etc. and adopting them as ‘just a silly fashion’ thing when you’re actually being disrespectful, etc. ---- those shorts or whatever that go up extremely high on the hipbones always look a little weird to me lol, like they give a person funny proportions,

(you may have to right click open image in new window and zoom to see the text, but it’s like.. the blank space makes it look kind of weird to me? Like there’s too much where there’s just nothing going on? idk. That’s just my personal preference though, obviously I tend to lean towards busy designs lol)

That’s all I can think of though, like I said, I’m really not picky or judgy about fashion since I think people should be able to do whatever they want for the most part. I’m not like a “omg stripes should NEVER be worn with plaid!!” type person or something lol.

14. "Hey Luca! I love when you post about your world. Do you have a favorite species you've made up so far? Also, I hope you're holding up well during the crisis!"

AAaa thanks! I’m okay mostly. It’s distressing since because of my particular mental illness I already have constant paranoia and obsessions about health, so of course hearing about so much illness can be really triggering constantly and I’m preoccupied in never-ending anxiety spirals about mortality and etc. etc. etc. , but situationally, I’m just very thankful that nobody in my household has gotten sick yet and I desperately wish that will continue to be the case. *** *** ***

(ignore the *** *** *** , this is a text version of a physical compulsion (a hand movement) that I have to do when I mention certain topics lol.. the little man in my brain that controls my obsessive compulsive disorder says I must do certain things after saying or thinking certain things,, You Know How It Is )

And I really love worldbuilding questions, so thank you so much!!!!! Hghgh maybe it seems weird to favor any over the others, but of course I really like the Avirre'thel. Conceptually, I think their origin story and connection to ancient elves and their abilities and etc. put them in a really unique position in the broader world (some of the only truly immortal people to exist, the only people who can still decipher ancient elven texts in a way that makes sense, etc. etc.). Since Nanyevimi (my world) is really just a setting being built so that in the future I can set things within it (games, short stories, etc.), I think I'm drawn to the aspects of it that have the most potential to make interesting characters, and there are definitely a lot of pre-established dynamics with the Avirre'thel/in Navyete (their home country) as a whole that would make it an good place to set certain things, or a good group for a main character to be from, etc.

I do really like the Jhevona as a species overall too, even if I haven't developed them as much, they also kind of stand out as having some fairly unique features that put them in an interesting position in the world (being one of the most magically capable groups that exists but that also having downsides (health issues and infertility from magic exposure, etc.), how the necessity to keep control over their magic influences their culture, being some of the only natural shape-shifters, etc.). Within that, I REALLY love the Thastanri (a subspecies of Jhevona), like their connection to dreams, the Imkasyn, being one of the last few peoples in contact with real dragons, etc. etc. There are a lot of complex things going on in their area, so there’d be a lot of potential to tell a variety of stories or have interesting characters from that group.

AND, though it's supposed to be Unknown in the world so I won't talk about it just in case I ever write a book one day or something and need to preserve at least a FEW mysteries that I don't just outright explain in worldbuilding posts, Jhevona do have the most interesting origins of any species in my opinion. There are some things from before the timeline break sort of thing (where all recorded history was seemingly wiped and everyone had a big memory loss about 50,000 yrs ago) that people aren't aware of anymore... but Jhevona used to have a cool backstory and quite interesting function in society prior to that. There are some remnants in the genetics of the species and how their magic works (at least for certain groups) that kind of hint at how ancient Jhevona used to look and what they used to do, even though in the modern day things are very different.

15. "Top 10 songs you've been listening to lately?"

I don’t have a top 10 since I listen to everything for different reasons, and don’t have as deep a relationship with music the way some people do (like I don’t really have a favorite band or group I have a connection with that’s “gotten me through hard times”, or music I cry to/any songs that are specifically personally emotionally meaningful to me, etc., etc.), but here’s a quick playlist of a few favorite-ish things I’ve had in my head a lot recently -

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPmQ4SZdFFHNkgKo7nAiEMgVvLcycX5Qc

the last song on the list specifically I’ve been replaying a lot for some reason, I guess since it’s good background music as there’s no words. Particularly the part that starts around like 38 seconds in, something about that melody reminds me of something distant, in a dreamlike way. The past few days I mostly alternate between that song, Outstanding, and And The Beat Goes On lol

16. " Do you ever sell sculptures? I really like that little fawn!"

Yeah, I hope to eventually! Like I mentioned in question number three, if I can set up some sort of way to do auctions or etc, then maybe I can sell that one!

17 & 18 : '"aaa yay!! i missed your outfits!!!" / "can I just say love ur outfits! They're so cool and inspire me to draw my ocs with new outfits > o < and I love your cat too, please give him a big ol pat!"

Thank you!!!! more compliments posted just to show I appreciate them lol, even if I don’t publicly respond to every one~ And, the Boyes appreciate the pats.. here is them.. big babbeys...

#it bothers me still that I didn't take all the screenshots the same way and there's different colors of nu #mbers and etc. lol.... but some of those are from 4 months ago or more and I had already deleted the original ask #from my inbox so I can't go rescreencap it to match the others..#this is the issue inherent in taking so long to answer things that I just respond in large batches lol #replies #okay also I know it's been months but... one of you has to like this post or at least show you read/interacted with my #response somehow because I cannot spend like 4-5 hours typing stuff for others if nobody will read it ghghg #( i know i make it take longer by being rambly and etc. but.. still...)#I'm sorry they sat in my inbox a long time and etc. but... also..... my pwecious time and effort #i hope at least one of the people I'm responding to sees that i did indeed reply to them lol

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vapidink · 7 years

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Writing for INTPs

Apparently I should suck at writing fiction. I hope I don’t.

Someone asked me for advice on writing as an INTP and frankly, I have no clue what I’m doing right or wrong most of the time so my advice is iffy at best. But I got to thinking about it, as INTPs often do, and I realized there are some definite drawbacks to writing with this personality type.

Perpetual perfectionists

It’s not that I think I can actually write something perfectly. I can’t. But I sure as hell will try. And what happens if I don’t write as well as I’d like to? Well, I often scrap whole chapters because of this. I also often find myself stuck because I’m not happy with the direction the story is taking, and this leads to me being a super slow writer.

So how do I deal with this? I try to not give a fuck. But I do. And that’s because . . .

We overthink everything

I can’t help it because I overthink stuff all the time and not just with writing. Just posting new stuff gives me anxiety because what if it sucks? But I get over it, and I post stuff, and mostly I follow my gut and stop when I come up with something not completely terrible. Best thing to do is to step back and remind myself that it’s just a first draft and I can fix and add stuff later. And I will add more because . . .

Simple stories are how I get things done

INTP writers like complex plots and themes, which is why I love reading stuff with twists and complex characters. It’s also why my more complex stories will take me years to write. We’re great at thinking up all these complicated plots, but getting them written is a whole other thing. Mostly it’s because we’re real fussy with how we write things and getting it right the first time around.

All the books I’ve finished are simple stories that center on the characters. See, people are complex and they can grow and change and entertain me even if I’m not writing this super elaborate plot. So I keep things simple to get things done.

That’s simpler said than done when . . .

Your mind keeps wandering

I’m always thinking. It’s exhausting and annoying because they’re not always thoughts about things I want to think about (and this doesn’t mean I’m smarter, it just means my brain is more hyper than a five year old on a sugar rush). This means I’ll be writing a story and a brand new idea for said story—or even for a whole different one—will pop into my head. At that point I know I’m screwed.

If it’s an idea for that story, I might end up scrapping a whole chapter or a whole version of the story to fit in the new changes. It’s why most of my stories have at least two versions. If it’s a new story idea then I have to work on that right away while I have the inspiration for it. Also, I probably just lost my inspiration for my current project. Fun!

But sometimes it gets worse. Sometimes I can’t focus on a single thing unless . . .

All conditions are perfect

I’m talking about writing conditions, like where I write, what I have around me, what music I listen to, etc. Most of the time I won’t get much done unless I have some music to block out everything (and everyone) out because otherwise my mind will wander. Like I said, I think a lot, despite what my brother may say. But my mind is a mess and thinking about what happens next in my story might get pushed back in favor of wondering how long a chinchilla lives because I just remembered that word and now I want a chinchilla, but I don’t know how to care for one so now I must google it to find the right conditions for it so I end up looking up information about the Andes mountains even though I know I won’t ever own a chinchilla and even if I did I wouldn’t need to know where they come from and suddenly I’m on youtube watching videos about them and daydreaming about having one, but maybe a cat would be easier to look after so now I’m looking up cat breeds and life expectancy and which kitty litter is the right one.

And that is what it’s like in my mind all the time.

But I don’t mind because . . .

There’s also good news!

INTPs can often look at things from differing sides, which makes it so much easier to write from different characters’ points of view. We have conversations in our heads all the time and it’s usually because we’re anxious wrecks that need to have a plan. But it helps!

We’re also supposed to be great at the technical aspects of writing. I can vouch for this because I rarely think about the grammatical aspect of things, it’s all instinctual, like that comma I just added. No, that doesn’t mean all my grammar is right all the time. It just means it’s easier for me like how my mom finds it easier to drive in reverse for some weird and useless reason. Only this is actually helpful!

We also happen to find research fun. Which is good because if you’re writing some complex crime story you might need to look up forensic procedures when examining crime scenes, or how many decibels is the sound of a gun according to the model you’re using in the story and while you’re at it which model are you using and why is it the best option, and what about the blood spatter pattern? But that’s all actually more fun than it sounds and there’s a reason writers know so much useless stuff.

So maybe we’re not naturals at writing fiction, but that’s okay because we can work at it. We just have to figure out what works for us. In the end it does help a bit to know about your personality type, but we’re all different even if we fit in the same type of personality, so maybe you don’t think the same way and maybe you don’t have the same issues as other people with the same type. It’s still important to think about the things we struggle with and try to figure out why we struggle with those things and how we can fix them.

Personally, I’m a socially awkward, anxious mess with a hyper active mind and a perfectionist streak who loves to procrastinate. By all rights I shouldn’t have completed so much as a short story. But somehow, I make it work.

I hope. Dang it.

#writing #writing tips #intp problems #writing for intps #wattpad

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crikekenya · 4 years

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*FEARS THAT HOLDS YOU BACK IN LIFE THAT YOU MUST OVERCOME*

Fear can hold you back in your career, your relationships, and in achieving your dreams. In my own life experience, I have observed that one of the factor making people to live below their potential is fear. Read and reflect on this painful truth and purpose to change your destiny. Some of the major fears that obstruct success include;

*The Fear of Rejection*

I do not know of anyone who is okay with rejection. Most of us want some level of acceptance from others and this is natural. But there is a big difference between being uncomfortable with rejection and being afraid of it, that it stops you cold from achieving personal or professional success. Many people avoid entering into new relationships or trying to meet new people due to a fear of rejection. Whether you’ve got a fear of your boss declining your request for a pay raise or promotion or a fear that the attractive person won’t go on a date with you, is an indication that you may have excessive fear of being judged or ridiculed. People with fear of rejection tend to become " _people pleasers_ ". They say yes too often to activities that they do not even enjoy or want to do out of fear of not being liked or accepted.They also tend to wait on others to make offers instead of taking initiatives to make things happen. They cannot bargain for their welfare out of fear of being judged by others. Never let the fear of rejection hold you back in life.

*Fear of success*

This may sound irrational. However, fear of success is real just like fear of failure. Success means change and it can bring an unwelcomed spotlight of attention and many new detractors. One observation is obvious, the more successful you become, the more you get noticed. While getting noticed often brings more admirers, it also brings on more haters. Another reason people fear success is that it creates new standards and expectations, and people get stressed about how to manage those standards. The fear of success is about fearing pressure and resisting accountability. It is simply a fear of a new attention and expectations. People with an overwhelming fear of success may consciously or subconsciously sabotage their efforts to make failure seem inevitable. They find reasons to procrastinate with menial or low demands. They may set low standards and expectations for themselves just in case they cannot or don't deliver. This form fear stagnates personal development and success in life. Challenge the status quo and break the. Chains of fear of success.

*The Fear of Failure*

One of the top fears in the world is a fear of failure. Many people won’t try something new unless they’re confident they can win. Failure is a normal part of life and learning from failure can help you find eventual success.

*The Fear of Uncertainty*

The fear of uncertainty often prevents people from trying something different. They often worry, “What if I don’t like it?” This fear can prevent people from trying new things or doing things differently from the way they’ve always been done.

*The Fear of Loneliness*

Sometimes people stay in bad relationships or resist living alone due to their fear of loneliness. Learning how to tolerate feeling lonely and finding ways to keep yourself company can help manage the fear of loneliness.

*The Fear of Change*

We live in a rapidly changing world. However, many people fear change. As a result, they resist it. The fear of change can cause people to become stagnant and they may miss out on a lot of really good opportunities in life.

*The Fear of Loss of Freedom*

Although we should have some fear of the loss of freedom, some people allow this fear to hold them back. Many people enjoy the freedom they have as a single person and as a result, they avoid serious relationships due to a fear that they won’t be able to tolerate the loss of the freedom. Although some loss of freedom does accompany a serious relationship, it’s important to balance independence with dependence and maintain some freedoms.

*The Fear of Being Judged*

People who worry that they’ll be judged negatively by others often shy away from social opportunities or chances to advance their career and life in general. People who adopt this fear often exaggerate how others will perceive them negatively and underestimate their ability to tolerate not being well-received by others.

*The Fear of Something Bad Happening*

Bad things happen in life. It’s inevitable. However, when people constantly fear something bad happening, it often restricts their activities. They may avoid doing a lot of things or going to certain places due to an unrealistic fear that bad things may happen.

*The Fear of Getting Hurt*

We should all have some fear of getting hurt. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t look both ways before you crossed the street. However, people who have a big fear of being emotionally hurt often refuse to enter into relationships. They may avoid friendships, keep family at an arm’s length, and skip romantic relationships due to a fear that they won’t be able to handle getting hurt.

*The Fear of Inadequacy*

One of the top fears many people share is that they’re just not good enough. They may pass up opportunities for a promotion or may decline an opportunity to lead a group because they worry that they’re inadequate. Often, they overcompensate for their fears by trying to be a perfectionist but remain plagued by thoughts that they just don’t measure up to other people.

*What can you do to overcome fear*

1. _Get away from small minded people_

Not everyone is going yo able to appreciate your dreams, your goals and your choices. Surround yourself with those who can support and appreciate you. Build a support system for those who can and will help you become successful.

2. _Start expecting to be rejected._

It is definitely going to happen. We all get rejected from time to time do by expecting it, you limits its power.

3. _Be courageous enough to be true to yourself, and understand that you will surely disappoint other people from time to time_

Define success for yourself, live your life for yourself. Focus more on accepting yourself rather than worrying whether other people accept you.

4. _Continually remind yourself that your are part of something larger than you._ When you realize you are part of a bigger picture, even if you do not fully understand what that is, it's easier to ascertain that you both deserve and need to be successful and happy. The big picture thoughts can give you courage to try something new and believe that your life is successful irrespective of the outcome. Just trying is good enough than not trying at all.

5. _Have desire to learn. People are always scared of what they do not know._

If you have fear of something you just have to educate yourself about it. Consult or read books about what you are fearing. Knowledge is liberating.

6. _Live in balance_

No matter how important success might seem to you, it is still important to follow it with balance, otherwise your journey towards success will turn into an obsession that will ruin everything that you truly love in life.

7. _Explore and counteract negative beliefs._

Fear of success is almost always linked to low self- worth which is driven by mistaken belief that we carry inside. Create time to explore your core beliefs and cognitive distortions and have a clear plan to counteract them.

8. _Sometimes simply recalling small or big achievements_ that you have had is enough to remind you that you have what it takes to succeed. Success is not a destination but a journey. So it is important that we take each step feeling grounded and balanced.

9. _Make small daily changes._

If the root of your fear of your success is change, try to incorporate small changes into your life each day. By accustoming yourself to change, you will find it easier to acclimatize to success.

10. _Accept the inevitability of discomfort._

Standing out in the limelight can be extremely uncomfortable, especially if you are a self conscious person. But also realize that discomfort is inevitable at the beginning, and it won't last for ever. Think of success as exposure therapy: there I'd no gain without a little pain

11. _You have the to right to say "NO"_

Sometimes the idea of success is accompanied by the fear of taking on too many responsibilities or being inundated by others. Remember you have the right to say " no". It is within your power and capability to draw boundaries and create a balanced life. Success in not the cause of burnout. People's mindsets are.

*Conclusion*

To succeed in life we must all overcome fears. It is one of the hindering factor toward success. We must break the chains of fear and regain your freedom to sail toward your destinies. Remember of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are your own fears. Your fears are only deep as your mind allows. Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world. Overcome it now!!

Thank you

Stephen Kamore

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Whattsapp +254729156200

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www.crikeonline.org

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eliteprepsat · 9 months

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Don’t procrastinate (it only makes things worse). Eat well. Exercise regularly. Get a good night’s sleep.

All of these are vital—and common—pieces of advice that will help you manage all forms of stress, academic and otherwise.

As anyone who has struggled with academic stress likely knows, each of these points is easier said than done. What I think is often missing from such advice is an account of the mental and emotional hurdles that can get in the way of effective time and health management.

Maybe you struggle with anxiety or depression, or maybe you have family or other health issues that make sleep or exercise really difficult to come by. Stress is often a symptom of circumstances that need their own forms of management.

But stress is also often a learned pattern of thinking, one that we need to unlearn if we’re going to get things done.

You’re Probably Wrong

“You cannot get stressed out unless you believe your thoughts,” explains Susan Stiffelman, a licensed psychotherapist and author of Parenting Without Power Struggles. “All stress is precipitated by stressful thinking.”

Often, we convince ourselves that the tasks ahead of us are more difficult than they need to be. If you’re a perfectionist especially, you probably impose impossibly high standards on yourself and your work that may engender procrastination.

After all, why spend the next 30 minutes trying to produce absolutely perfect work when you can just let your mind wander on Snapchat?

When Stiffelman warns against believing your own thoughts, she is suggesting that we question our assessments of what we have in front of us. Next time you’re stressed out over an exam, a paper, or college applications, try listing reasons why your assessment of the situation might be incorrect.

Do you have a record of academic success? Have you succeeded in the past on projects that you found daunting? If the answer to either of these is “yes,” then there’s a good chance you’ve misread your current situation.

Sometimes, there’s freedom in getting things wrong.

Break It Down

But even if you are correct, and if what lies ahead is very difficult work, pausing to consider why a given project is difficult—and writing out the reasons—often reveals a range of sub-tasks that are far less difficult than the project as a whole.

This is why Stiffelman also advises breaking tasks down into small chunks.

In my own experience, to-do lists are lifesavers. List out the tasks ahead and break these down into the smallest possible tasks.

One student of mine wrote out everything she needed to do on sticky notes and then threw the notes away as she completed each task. But if you want to avoid wasting paper—and I think you should—an app like Todoist is just as good for laying out a roadmap and for checking off items as you go.

Timing is Everything

Let’s say you need to write an important paper for an English class. Your to-do list might look something like this:

Read the assignment [Monday]

Decide which text(s) I’m going to focus on [Monday]

Read my notes on that text [Tuesday]

Find 3-4 quotations from the text that seem relevant [Tuesday]

Draft a thesis [Tuesday]

See if the thesis goes well with the quotations I’ve chosen [Tuesday]

If not, find other quotations or revise the thesis

Draft an introduction [Wednesday]

Draft the first body paragraph [Wednesday]

Draft the second body paragraph [Thursday]

Draft the third body paragraph [Thursday]

Draft the fourth body paragraph [Thursday]

Draft the conclusion [Thursday]

Review my topic sentences [Friday]

Review my transitions [Friday]

Read the entire draft [Friday]

Check that the body paragraphs correspond with the thesis

Check that the body paragraphs proceed in a logical order

Make necessary revisions [Saturday]

Proofread the essay [Saturday]

Writing an entire paper can seem daunting, but reading the assignment is easy. Deciding which text to focus on isn’t too hard, either. Even drafting a thesis isn’t all that bad. Taken together, writing an entire paper might seem like a difficult task. But, when broken into small chunks, the job is much simpler than it seems.

Notice that I’ve given each task a day of the week. It’s important to recognize that your time is limited. If you give yourself a rough timeline, you can kind of mechanize the process a bit and give yourself peace of mind that you’re on track. Remember to stay flexible—adjust as you go, when needed, since some tasks might be more difficult than you first anticipated.

Treat Yourself to Train Yourself

Keep yourself motivated by giving yourself a reward for each task or pair of tasks that you knock off your to-do list.

You’re always practicing, always training yourself. You’re not all that different from a dog who learns how to do tricks. Just like a poodle, you need positive reinforcement to train your mind and body that getting things done is good.

If you practice being anxious with a stomach ache while writing, you’ll get really good at being anxious with a stomach ache while writing. But if you practice breaking writing down into small sub-tasks and rewarding yourself—with dessert or a video game or something else you love—you’ll learn to associate getting things done with feeling good.

In sum: change your thinking, make to-do lists, chart out a rough schedule, and reward yourself along the way.

But of course, remember to avoid procrastinating, eat well, exercise regularly, and get a good night’s sleep. Those truisms are true, after all.

#productivity #study tips #studyblr #time management #high school #college #college prep

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scottstiles · 7 years

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clarz

replied to your post

“hi divvy! i know you are MAD right now, so don't answer this until you...”

thanks so much for answering this! tbh i love the fact that you're religious and that you clearly love it so much. i went to a very catholic college, so that kind of thoughtful and deep connection with religion and tradition is important to me, and i love seeing it in other people. it's an important part of who you are! and part of the reason i asked is because you mentioned disliking the performance thing in your initial post, and i really connect with that. when i was growing up, the church i went to was pretty plain and traditional (despite very liberal politics and interpretations of scripture.) most of the other people i knew who went to church were evangelical and/or southern baptist, and i always disliked that their churches had like, full rock bands at services, and poppy contemporary melodies to "hymns." i understand that they're trying to make church fun, but it always made me suspicious and felt disingenuous. i don't think religious services should be a chore, certainly, but i also don't think that they should be "fun" in that way. that's not the purpose of religion. i don't think religion should become more like entertainment or performance, because it's supposed to be a space that's completely different from the rest of the world. it makes it feel less holy to me. so i definitely relate to how you feel there. also, how did you end up feeling about the service in the moment? (and i'd love to hear about the ma'apilim sometime)

SORRY I DIDN’T ANSWER THESE BEFORE CUZ I REALLY WANTED TO BUT PROCRASTINATION IS MY MIDDLE NAME (jk it’s tzviya but try saying that ten times fast. or just one time. slow.)

HERE WE GO:

1- i love finding other people who feel close to their religion, no matter what it is. i remember in teacher’s college i just naturally gravitated to the only catholic girls in my classes i guess simply because i enjoyed talking to them? we weren’t there learning to teach religion, but i’m always fascinated by what other people feel about it. i’ve found myself thinking on more than one occasion that i feel more comfortable with people who have that side to themselves, like me, rather than people who don’t interact/think about/believe in any of that kinda stuff. (im being purposefully vague because it’s a huge generalization, but nonetheless true-ish for me, i often find myself sharing much more common ground with palestinian muslims, for example, than a french canadian montrealer). i guess especially because religion is not something i consider a defining trait of mine, and im just in constant evolution with respect to that. judaism is so much more than just a belief in god or a practice of the rituals and commandments.

2- how fascinating to find someone in my age bracket who feels the same way about music in prayer. my problem has always been that i LOVE music, and its so personal and emotional that i DO see it fitting seamlessly with prayer but... it’s the setting that has always bothered me. it just never felt right for me in a synagogue. like you said, it’s just a different space. i don’t know about church and ‘making it fun’ but i definitely can imagine plenty of religions use music to draw in otherwise disinterested people who find prayer “boring” or pointless. music is awesome! i just wish people could feel the music in their soul as a separate entity from external music, like from an instrument. idk i guess i just really love singing XD and i wish it wasn’t always a performance or a competition of voices, because i think prayer should be personal. even if it’s between a community, its still voices connecting to each other. i’m reminded of Hannah’s prayer, in the book of Samuel (the prophet- his mother), she’s at the temple on one of the annual pilgrimages with her family and she’s depressed because she doesn’t have any children and her husband’s other wife just keeps popping out babies left and right. so she goes to be alone somewhere in the temple, and she’s weeping and praying to god for a child. Eli, the high priest, comes in and sees her shaking and moving her lips real fast so he goes, “hey, you shouldn’t be drinking in here” and she’s like “im not drunk, i’m praying”. so that’s the first place we read about a person actually praying, and not out loud. this was like a huge revelation to the priest cuz clearly he’d never seen that before, and now the tradition has become to pray like hannah. (as an aside, if u ever see the propaganda videos made by the nazis, they use footage of synagogues to show how loony tunes those jews are with their muttering and their rocking back and forth). cuz like, prayer is supposed to be out loud? ahaha anyway i forgot where i was going with this but... oh ya, okay, so prayer didn’t really exist (as we know it, in judaism- and therefore christianity/islam/western monotheism) until that point- it was all about the sacrifices. and the temple ritual was replete with music and instruments like the shofar, timbrels, lutes, blabla other ancient instruments. but since then, we’ve been meant to use our voices alone. so says tradition, i guess.

3- so i did go to services on yom kippur (kol nidre) but not at my shul. i went with my sister to the chabad house near my parents, and it was....not great. but it was compounded by a lot of factors- i got a wicked cold the day or two before, so my nose was running a marathon and i was coughing like a 90yr old with emphysema. i got my period that morning so i was on an extra steep emotional rollercoaster that i just somehow could barely control. so we sat on the other side of the mechitzah (the separation barrier between men and women), the rabbi/cantor stood at the head in the middle so we could all see, and we all prayed out loud, no hush on the women’s side or anything (pretty typical from what i remember of camp/school prayer services). but of course the tunes were not quite what i’m used to, and there was a bit of annoying stuff that just irks me as a perfectionist (like they use a lot of yiddish pronunciation of the hebrew words, injecting a bunch of oy oy oys and ahoyhoyhoys in random places, in fact i leaned over to my sister at one point and was like ‘did ned flanders write this nigun (tune)?’), but altogether i guess it was better than watching an orchestra perform the prayer? idk it was pretty bad, on an emotional level, but not in hindsight. im very good at ruining things for myself through sheer stubbornness. i must have embarrassed my sister just by existing next to her, poor girl, she really wanted me to like it. i’m glad it’s over, and hopefully by next year ill be back in nyc or some other city so i wont have to worry about it.

4- MA’APILIM!!!!! okay so this was my absolute favoritest thing as a kid and i can’t wait to describe it to you. one night in camp, every summer, the counselors and cits would wake us up at like 3am by barging into our cabins chanting (screaming, really) “MA’APILIM, MA’APILIM BEH-MASSAD, BEH-MASSAD. MATCHIL HALAYLA MATCHIL HALAYLA BEH-MASSAD, BEH-MASSAD.” which translates to : “ma’apilim at massad (the name of my camp) starts tonight.” i’m singing it in my head as i type XD. so they’d be screaming and we’d be tumbling bleary eyed out of bed to grab our socks and sweatshirts and run over to the flagpole (keep in mind i was 8 when i first experienced this, and we’ve had kids as young as 6 at camp). once we had all gathered in line with our bunkmates, the counselors and cits put on a little “skit”.

basically they acted like they were nazis and jews, and did a little skit of some basic bad holocaust stuff (don’t ask me to remember the exact details we’re talkin at least 20 years since i last did this) to scare the pants off of us. kids would always cry already at this point from the shouting. we’d all kinda follow into this “play” (sorry idk what else to call it), and marched over to the gym where we watched a fake hanging on the stage. they literally. hanged someone. in front of us. a fake noose, of course, duh, i remember my counselor showing it to me, but traumatizing to say the least (i still remember the name of the counselor they “hanged”- not sure this ever happened more than once but ill never forget it).

then we’d all hustle down to the waterfront, again “playing” the role of holocaust victims/survivors after these little “skits” had sort of put us in the headspace, and we play along, imagining we’d just experienced these things and were now running from it. it was terrifying and exhilarating as a small child, and an even more unbelievably emotional thrill ride as i got older and became pseudo-obsessed with holocaust lit and facts in general in my life (it never did go away but everything changes with age). ANYWAYS so down at the waterfront we got a speech from another counselor playing a member of the haganah (the main jewish defense force in palestine leading up to independence, which ben gurion later turned into the IDF). sidebar for a little history: in the 40s the yishuv (jewish agency) and the haganah began a mission called aliyah bet, “the second immigration,” an illegal smuggling operation to bring refugees from the holocaust into palestine under the noses of the british, since almost all countries in the world had barred their doors to jewish immigration from europe (a high level member of the canadian government is famously recorded as having answered, when asked how many jews they should let in, that “none is too many”). volunteer seamen from the US and canada and other countries crossed the ocean on cargo ships hastily refurbished to fit hundreds of people, picking up thousands of refugees in europe to smuggle them onto the beaches of haifa and tel aviv. paul newman has a lovely half nekid scene of this in the movie Exodus when he jumps off the ship in the middle of the night and swims up onto the beach- one of my fave movies ever and pretty much the story of aliyah bet (albeit with tremendous hollywood embellishment and only mild accuracy). these refugees who became illegal immigrants (caught or not) were known as “ma’apilim”- the root of the word is to “climb” or to “rise up”, and is found in the bible referring to the israelites who were still eager to enter the land even after the negative report of the spies.

okay so basically this was the idea. we were “playing” these illegal immigrants who had just escaped the holocaust, and were now facing another threat in the form of the british who were doing their best to keep them out of palestine. k so we’re down at the waterfront. all the kids get divided into small groups of about 10 or so, with one or two counselors at the helm to be our “haganah operatives” and guides to the end. what end, you say? so the camp is spread out into 2 areas, the main camp where the younger kids cabins were, and the dining hall and the gym and the waterfront, etc. then there’s a road in the middle of the camp, and beyond it a hill leading up to the senior cabins and some sports fields at the top. the goal was for each group to make it through camp to the top of the hill without getting caught by the “british,” played by the cits who were roaming around camp.

idk if i have to describe camp further for people who don’t know the concept, but basically we’re all in the middle of the damn woods with nothing around us for miles except the lake and the camps on the other side of it or down the road. ill never forget my first ma’apilim (tbh most of my description is from then, which is why its so fuzzy cuz these memories are 20+ years old), i was so lucky to get the tripper as our group leader (the tripper is the “nature dude” in camp, the survivalist ;). he immediately led us underneath the gym (which of course was just insane to my small mind... UNDER the gym??) to plan our route and give us instructions. we organized a roll call and signals, we practiced walking in a single file line silently and dropping to the ground on his signal. we smeared dirt on our faces for camo in the woods. it was *mason voice* intense. k so then as you can guess, we snuck our way up the hill through the woods. sometimes we’d encounter other groups, once in awhile i remember getting caught by a cit, and they’d take all or some of us to the “jail” on the basketball court” where we’d have to wait for a jailbreak (idk how that worked but it did, i remember it happening but not in any detail). a famous prison break that DID happen was at acre prison in 1947 when the irgun (another paramilitary jewish group) blew up the prison and broke out 28 of their members and 214 arab prisoners. if im not mistaken they briefly refer to it in exodus by recreating a prison break. exciting times. ANYWAYS fuck im such a tangential bitch sorry XD, by the end of the night we’d all make it to the top- “jerusalem”- and we’d have hot chocolate and say morning prayers as the sun rose over the hill.

i feel like my description is a little lacking, but hopefully u get the basic picture. ma’apilim wasn;t even the heaviest part of camp- that was tisha b’av- the fast day when we commemorate the destruction of the temple and every other traumatic destructive event the jewish people have gone thru. that night they’d prepare the camp with candles in sand filled paper bags lining all the paths. after dinner we’d walk with our bunks on the path and watch little skits in different parts of camp- scenes from these moments in jewish history, like the holocaust, pogroms in europe, the spanish inquisition, terror attacks in israel, etc. after walking the path we’d all convene back at the waterfront, where they’d set out a small reconstructed “temple” on a makeshift raft in the lake, and a banner on the beach that said “yizkor”- remember. then they’d light both on fire and we’d sit and watch them burn while singing appropriately somber songs like eli eli, by hannah senesz. after that we’d go back to the gym and lie on the floor in small groups huddled around candles. we’d listen as some people chanted the book of eicha (lamentations), and would slowly fall asleep (depending on our age, of course). anyone that was still up after that was over got to stay in the gym if they wanted to watch exodus- a 4 hour movie. the next day we’d fast all day (only those who wanted- 13 y/o +) and treated it basically like shabbat- no regular activities.

MAN did i get some wild shit imprinted on me from camp!! but i don’t regret one second. i only wish other people could have the experience i did, but i dont even know if they still do that there. they probably do, but this old lady has no excuses to step foot in a summer camp anymore :(

as a completely coincidental aside and not at all as a self promo, idk if u knew this but i’ve been working on a documentary for over a year now and this whole thing is a major part of the plot. i interviewed a lady who was a passenger on the exodus, and about 4 or 5 people who were volunteers from montreal/new york/new jersey/toronto that picked up and smuggled the refugees. the stories are incredible. i just hope the rest of the world will get to hear it from their mouths one day. all we need is 100k to finish the film XD

#clarz #OMG I FORGOT TO POST THIS #i thought i would add to it but this is a fucking essay so ima leave it at that #PLEASE ASK ME MORE QUESTIONS IF U WANT #ANYBODY #i love talking about this shit and i have nobody to do it with :))))#personal #jewish stuff #judaism #holocaust mention #death mention cw #hanging mention cw #nazi mention cw

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bigdpartyrentals · 5 years

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Productivity Mantras Event Planners Live By

https://www.eventmanagerblog.com/productivity-mantras

Write them down, create a graphic that includes them or say them in a mirror each morning but regardless of your method, these phrases and mantras can help event planners boost productivity.

Affirmations and mantras are often used because over time they can change your mindset and help you to actualise what you want. As well as this, they can serve as a reminder of what you want to achieve and how to get there because it is easy to switch to autopilot when you get to work. For event planners, this level of mindfulness will help to improve productivity and allow you to achieve your goals by repeating these phrases to yourself each day.

Stop, Take A Step Back

It might seem counterproductive to be encouraging yourself to stop working, however, this thought process is particularly useful when problem-solving as it reminds you to look at things from a different perspective, take a minute and try to handle something in a different way, which is more likely to result in success.

I Will Not Let Negativity In

Negativity can be a hindrance on productivity by making you feel like you can’t do things and is a very powerful force that will stop you taking on tasks altogether. Positivity breeds success and helps you to enjoy what you do, so even if you are looking for a little more motivation to keep the negativity at bay, try a motivational playlist or quotes that inspire you.

This Will Get This Done Today

If you can do something today, then do it because putting it off means adding something else to your to-do list tomorrow, which is going to put you behind. So if you are able to pick up a task and decide that you are going to do it today, then do it! If you are struggling, delegate or ask for help but reminding yourself that this task is getting done today will help you prioritise it and actually get it done.

Pick Your Battles

This is usually a phrase regarding getting angry or annoyed at others but fits in perfectly for those who get easily frustrated. If you spend your time getting annoyed at every task, particularly if you don’t want to do it, you will drag your heels and it won’t get done. Decide what is really worth getting frustrated over, and you’ll find you are not only more productive but will be less stressed!

If It’s Not Helpful, It’s Hurtful

Procrastination is the ultimate productivity killer and when tasks start to pile up, something isn’t going to get done, so cut yourself off before you even start and decide whether or not what you are doing helps your goals or gets you to where you want to be today. If ‘this won’t help me reach my goals’, put it to one side and move on to something else.

Something Is Better Than Nothing

Have you ever had that paralysing feeling where you are overwhelmed with workload and don’t know where to start, so in fact, you don’t do anything? This is a reminder that you can’t achieve everything and that is okay. Just do what you can and you will probably find that you get more done than you expected (and certainly more than you would have done by worrying about it).

It’s All In My Mind

Obstacles can be daunting and often it is ourselves that get in the way. Whether it’s our own negativity or an overwhelming task (or general workload), it is important to remind yourself that sometimes it could be yourself that is hindering progress. Realising that it is actually you, makes things seem smaller and more manageable as we can make changes when we know the cause and improve.

Little Achievements Lead To Big Goals

Setting goals makes you a better event prof but often the big ones can seem far in the distance and unattainable which demotivates you and reduces your productivity levels, but this mantra serves as a constant reminder that the small things all add up and achieving those things today puts you one step further to achieving the larger goals.

Done Is Better Than Perfect

While you should always aim for top quality work and event planning, this is aimed at the perfectionist who is so worried about chasing perfection that they do so at the expense of actually getting things done. Not making any decisions or achieving anything because it doesn’t meet your unrealistic expectations can not only halt productivity but stop you from meeting deadlines altogether and can put entire events in jeopardy.

Taking Care Of Myself Will Help Take Care Of Work

Burnout is real and it’s important to focus on your physical and mental health in order to be your most productive self. Running yourself into the ground will get you nowhere so this serves as a reminder that sometimes you need to take care of yourself first before trying to tackle work, particularly in the high-pressured event industry.

I Will Use My Resources

Many focus so much on trying to improve their own productivity that they forget there are plenty of tools around them that can help. Take stock of the resources you have available, including your event team and look into what you need to take some of the extra workload for you, be more productive the smarter way!

Less Talking, More Doing

Specifically targeted at those who waste time in unproductive meetings that tend to run over, have poor outcomes or are uncoordinated. Meetings can be a real time sucking task and to combat this and have more productive meetings, you should ensure that you are only going to those that are necessary or that you HAVE to be at, otherwise you are just wasting time chatting and not getting work done.

If I Have No Time, I Will Make Some

Sometimes the key to productivity is making your own time, whether it is streamlining your processes and making yourself more efficient, or prioritizing what actually does (or doesn’t) need to get done. For example, you can make your lunch break or commute more productive and this allows you to find time to get things done where others don’t.

If In Doubt, Make A List

There is a secret power of to-do lists and when you are stuck for what to do next, making a list can help you clear and organise your thoughts, regain your focus and allow you to be more productive by avoiding time-wasting when you move onto the next task. Also, writing a list can give you physical cues on where to go next, what to work on and will keep you busy so you don’t stray onto social media and start procrastinating.

The Past Is The Past

It is easy to get caught up in the blame game and waste time (and energy) justifying your own actions or focusing on office politics. Unless there is something to be done now, let it go, don’t hold a grudge and don’t waste time emailing back and forth or playing the blame game – it will never work out in your favor and you’re just throwing time away.

More Isn’t Always Better

A common productivity mistake made is that people assume that ticking more things off of the checklist is better than the actual work they get done. For example they may have 10 small, low-priority tasks that need doing and five big one,s but they focus on getting the 10 done and consider this more productive. Turning productivity into a numbers game doesn’t always pay off and sometimes one high-priority, large task is worth 10 small ones – so ask yourself whether you are focusing too much on quantity over quality.

Time Is Money

This may seem business-orientated and while your organisation is paying for your time, this phrase is also a reminder that your time is valuable. To stay productive you need to be asking yourself if the tasks you are wasting time on are worth your effort putting that time in, because if they aren’t, you can streamline the process, spend less time on them and move on; focusing on projects that are really worth it!

I Got This!

Because sometimes we just need a reminder to keep on going and that we can actually handle everything on our plate or what we have going at the moment. Positivity phrases like this are the most powerful when it comes to productivity and have the biggest impact long-term to make a change to our thought processes so make sure if you say nothing else to yourself, let yourself know you got this!

In Conclusion

Whatever your focus, goals or intentions are for the future and no matter what you want to achieve, you will need to be productive. In order to get there, motivational phrases and mantras that you can tell yourself is a simple but effective way to do this. Pick and choose some of the most relevant on the list, repeat them every day and watch how your productivity and mindset changes.

#Big D Party Rentals #party #rentals #carrollton #texas

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justemotionalabusethings · 7 years

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What is your abuse story? You don't have to answer that if you don't want to. I know it's a sensitive topic for people.

This is gonna be a huge post (I’ll break up the paragraphs so that it’s less overwhelming to look at/read) so it’s under the cut

Okay before my parents even come into the story, there is a brief cocsa story. When I was in kindergarten, there was this boy on my bus in third grade, we’ll call him B. B was one of those “cool kids” (maybe because he was older?) but also he was one of those kids who was loud and annoying. well he started to try to befriend me and he was a bad influence. we used to sit on the bus seats with out backs where our butts would be and vice versa so our legs were sticking up past the seat. we used to crouch in the foot space where your feet or backpack should go.

we switched seats (that wasn’t allowed). well this kid B also told me a bunch of things, like that I was “hot” and “sexy”. naturally, as a six year old, i didn’t know what the hell that meant but i figured it was good. then one day, he asked if he could touch me down there and i’m pretty sure i was hesitant at first, but then i let him. i still remember what it felt like. im not sure how long passed, or if any time passed, but he asked me again, and i said no. now, this happened toward the end of the school year and in the school i was in third grade was the oldest so he was “graduating” soon. he used this as a means to convince me, saying “i’m only gonna be here for another few days! pleasssseeee” and eventually i gave in, but i didn’t like it.

So um I would pinpoint the Beginning of it all with my parents as around the time my brother was born when I was 7 years old. I can remember feeling less important and annoying whenever I would try to help my parents with my brother. Usually, they’d just dismiss me and brush me off. For example, my mom would call my brother cute little nicknames like “oodley boodley” and “bugaboo” and stuff like that, so I caught on and started calling him “oodley boodley”.

I said it All The Time and I guess it got annoying because they’d tell me to stop (and they still talk about how annoying I would say it and how often it was). That hurt my feelings I guess because I was just trying to be a part of this new “brother” thing (but I see what they meant). But generally things were fine, just different. A couple years later in fourth grade I switched schools because my elementary school went up to third grade and my parents thought I’d learn better in a smaller classroom environment.

That was hard but not because of my parents. I do remember being worried about my grades and what my parents would think. I also think fourth grade was the year I started to feel unusually anxious. I remember that year I also had some drama happen where I wrote on one of the desks “4A (my class) rocks not 4B (the other class)” and there was this whole drama of who did it. I never got in trouble for it though! By fifth grade I had started to procrastinate my work and I can remember being yelled at for it.

One time, I forgot my textbook to do some kind of homework or studying that was due the next day. They got so mad at me and lectured/ranted about it for a Long Time. This sort of thing happened a lot because I’d procrastinate projects or studying and they’d get Mad about it. The majority of the abuse (if that’s what this is) was ranting/lecturing for at least an hour where mainly my dad (sometimes my mom would join in) would rant about how “mind-boggling” or “insane” it was that I just didn’t learn from my mistakes or whatever.

I’d usually cry whenever I’d try to stand up for myself or even just talk to them. The night (because this sort of thing usually happened at night) would end with me in my room crying or just sitting on my bed thinking about what happened. It also became a “joke” that at 10 pm each night I’d come downstairs to talk. So when I came down to talk about something serious my dad would always go “Oh, what time is it? Oh, it’s 10 pm, here’s Meg right on time!” and that would make me feel bad. A lot of the time I would come downstairs during my parents’ designated “TV Time” and I wasn’t allowed to interrupt that.

If I did, it was annoying and a bother and I was treated like a laundry list. Like, “okay, what else do you want? What else?” and so on. So my concerns weren’t really taken as real or important. This got worse and worse as middle school went on, and I can remember during seventh and maybe eighth grade not wanting to go home. I would cry very often and we’d fight very often too. The times when I’d yell back only escalated the situation and made my dad yell more and tell me that he could feel his blood pressure rising. He’d say that one day he’d die of a heart attack because of me.

My mom would usually try to mediate or calm my dad down, but she got upset at me for making him get upset. I remember one time in eighth grade, this girl at my school looked out her window and saw a man peering in and she didn’t come to school for a few days. That made me scared to open my window or sleep, and when I told my parents this, they only said “there’s no one out there, you’ll be fine” and made me go back upstairs to sleep. Also during middle school, I started showing a talent for golf, and my parents tried to make me play so I could improve and become a better golfer.

Golf made me anxious though, and whenever I tried to tell my dad that he said it’s insane to think that someone with a talent would dislike whatever it was they were talented at. He cited examples from his childhood where he was talented at drums and would play as often as possible. I felt like I was a bad person for wasting my talent. I also didn’t have any word to describe how I felt (it was anxiety) so that was even more alienating.

I did my first competitive tournament and cried the whole time and texted my mom begging her to take me home. She didn’t let me because my golf coach told her that’s what a lot of kids did. I don’t think that was the right choice though. Also throughout middle school I found myself trying to be my teachers’ favorite (not to the extreme of teachers’ pet but more like secretly hoping) for some reason. I think I know why now, but I’m not sure. I think it’s because I wanted some kind of normal adult attachment figure (?) but I’m not sure.

By high school I was a full-on perfectionist and my grades freshman year reflected that. I got straight A’s. My parents were so proud because I also made High Honors’ Dean’s List. I can imagine that we probably fought a lot that year too, but I don’t have any memories of that. Sophomore year was one of the worst years of my high school years because I started to get depressed. My classes were Much Harder than freshman years’, and I started to do badly in some classes.

I think I did do well overall, but it was the first time I’d ever not cared when I failed a test. I did worry about what my parents would say though, so I hid the test(s) from them. Sophomore year I also tried to quit the swim team because, again, I had this awful feeling (anxiety, but I didn’t know it then) every time I stepped into the pool room. I told my parents this, and they told my coaches and friends, who convinced me to join again. We fought this year too (lectures/rants, etc.) but I don’t have many explicit memories of that. I also started to be late for school every day, and my second period health class teacher asked my parents during parent-teacher conferences if there was something going on at home.

My parents were upset at me for making him think that because I was just lazy and needed to get out of bed in the mornings. I started therapy this year too because my parents were worried. I was NOT a fan at all. I resisted so hard and I’m pretty sure my therapist thought that there was something going on at home. She said (and still says) that I was like an extension of my parents, like another limb or something, when she first met me. I would always say “I don’t know” to everything and would tear up in session a lot (even though I thought she couldn’t see that, she did).

Junior year and the end of sophomore year were really hard because we started to look at colleges and my parents started to get all nervous that we were behind in the college process. I had multiple people telling them otherwise, but they still were very on edge about college. We had to plan the financial stuff, write my college essay, apply for colleges, choose which colleges to apply to, and fine tune all the applications. It was a long process and it caused a lot of fights when I didn’t do it how they wanted me to.

Again, I procrastinated this stuff, because it made me anxious, and this caused more fighting. I can remember one summer (I think it was the summer before my junior year) we talked about what colleges to apply to and the financials and stuff and since I’m studying psychology I’m gonna have to go to grad school so my parents were talking about the cost of college and grad school and all the debt I’d be in and it really overwhelmed me. I started to go to my room and my dad said something like “So you’re just gonna run away to your room now? Okay.” and my mom eventually let me.

Also junior year was the year that my advisor/college guidance counselor/swim coach noticed that I was different from previous years and he kept asking if I was okay. My parents didn’t want me to tell him or my other swim coach about my therapy or anxiety (I didn’t think I had depression at this point). By the end of junior year I had my first draft of my college essay written, and it was a letter to my parents talking about my anxiety and trying to make them see things how I saw them.

Eventually, I changed my essay senior year after I re-read it and had a huge “yikes” moment. Senior year was rough because my “friends” started to be even more bitchy towards me (I won’t get into that but long story short they were NOT my friends and they contributed negatively to my mental health). I finally quit the swim team senior year (my parents were disappointed because they enjoyed watching me swim and going to meets, and they wanted to see what my coaches would say about me at the end of the year during the “honoring the seniors” part of the last home meet).

By junior and senior year, my parents and I’s fighting got less bad because of therapy, but we had our bad moments. This time, it wasn’t huge blowup fights with crying and yelling, it was passive aggressive comments that would make me feel like shit. By the spring of senior year everything was happy and much better because I was graduating and I saw my idol in NYC in a play. I actually invited my mom to see it with me and she said no because she had no interest and thought I just wanted her to pay for my ticket.

That made me feel awful. And, she also made me feel like shit for spending the money and going to the play after that. I had a project due soon after and she told me that my project looked “half-assed” because I went to the play. Then freshman year of college things were okay. They were Much Better because I was away from home, but a few things happened during the year. I got a tattoo (a semicolon on my left wrist) and I told my parents and they were upset and my mom said she was embarrassed.

She didn’t want my brother to know because then he’d tell his friends and people would know. I eventually told him and they changed their minds about telling him so it was better, but that still hurt. I also went to NYC with some friends they didn’t like for spring break instead of to the beach (and it was freezing cold during spring break) with my college friends. They flipped out and told me how disappointed they were and that “how could I not see I was making the wrong decision??”.

So overall, things have gotten better but I don’t think this is very normal. Thanks if you’ve read the whole thing, I know that was long as hell. I also still don’t know if this is considered abusive, but this is my story no matter what.

#asks #anon #tw: cocsa #tw: siblings #tw: parents #tw: emotional abuse #tw: yelling #tw: crying #tw: cursing #tw: abuse #personal #tw: genitals #my story

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