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gretavangroupie · 16 hours

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G13 - Finish What Ya Started

Spinning Now: "Finish What Ya Started" by Van Halen (1988)

Pairing: Josh x Female Reader

Word Count: 8.2k

Description: You and Josh, your favorite new co worker, decide to share more than drinks as what started as a normal night turns into something you never expected.

Warnings: Smoking, Drinking, Cursing, Drug Use, Heavy Flirting, Praise, Dirty Talk, Touching, Mention of Breakups and Heartbreak, Sadness. Smut: Kissing, Oral M!Receiving

New town, new job, new life.

That’s always how things went in the movies, and every time, the girl always got her happy ending.

How hard can it be, right?

After you’d managed to knock the first new off your list when you moved out of your ex’s house and to the next city over, the “job” part was next in line. After a week of filling out applications, you finally landed on the perfect selection, a serving job at Angelo’s Pizza.

You’d started this new job about about three months ago, and you finally felt like you were getting your footing with the flow of things. You’d been a server for as long as you could remember, but getting used to a new restaurant with new people and new menus and management could sometimes prove to be difficult. You were handling it with as much grace as you could, and the money was killer, so you stuck it out.

“You coming to the bar with me tonight?” your new favorite coworker, Josh asked as he stared into the kitchen from the expo window, rolling a pile of coasters across the countertop.

“Mmmh…” You mumbled under your breath. “I dunno, I’ve been here since lunch and my feet are absolutely killing me.”

”Ugh don’t be such a prude, Y/N.” He responded, taking a pepperoni and cheese in one hand, and a supreme in the other. “We’ll be sitting down the whole time. Ya know. In barstools.”

“Shut the fuck up.” You teased, elbowing him in the ribs. “I guess so, but I can’t stay out late like last weekend. I open tomorrow.”

“Oooo, a clopen. That sucks. Well, I don’t. So I can get drunk, and you can watch me.” He flashed you a giant smile before taking off with the pizzas in hand, disappearing into the sea of people seated in the restaurant.

Josh had befriended you on your very first day, comforting you after your manager harshly scolded you for ringing something in incorrectly.

“Don’t worry about it.” He’d said as you pouted in the walk-in. “I still fuck my shit up all the time. The cooks don’t really care, plus if you mess somethin’ up, we get to eat the fucked up pizza.” That was the only thing he said to you the entire day, but it really stuck with you, immediately making you feel a lot better about your tiny mistake.

Now, after a few months of working side by side with Josh, you’d actually gotten to know each other fairly well, and you’d even go as far as calling him one of your good friends. You’d managed to get to know all your coworkers on a surface level, but Josh actually took the time to listen to you when you spoke, and showed real interest in the things you had to say, no matter how menial.

He was cute, and around the same age as you, but there was something about Josh that you couldn’t put your finger on. It was something that struck you, making him stand out from the rest of the guys you worked with. His aura pulled you in, and the way his eyes sparkled in the neon that covered the walls of the restaurant didn’t help the fact that he sometimes made your heart skip a beat. You decided that it was just his looks, though, catching you off guard every once in a while as you were around him more. Most importantly, he made you feel welcome. Like a good friend should.

The more you got to know Josh, the more open he became with you, and you quickly learned that his real personality outside of work was a little bit different than when you were on the clock. It’d become almost a habit, now, joining Josh at his favorite dive bar down the street when you’d both end up on the same closing schedule. It was like Groundhog Day, Josh would ask you to come out, you’d find an excuse to turn him down, but you always left Angelo’s with your hand in his as you tiredly dragged yourselves down the street. Sometimes other coworkers would join you, but it was always the two of you left shutting the bar down, joking and laughing with one another as you waited for your Ubers.

Josh was quickly becoming a norm for you. A fun, platonic norm. And though you were both flirty with one another, it never felt as though it would go past anything but that. Just friends. And you were very content with that.

So tonight, as things wound down and the patrons closed out their tabs, you felt as if you really could use a nightcap or two to reward yourself for not making even one mistake on your orders today.

As you tied the oversized trash bag closed, you met eyes with Josh as he skillfully swiped the mop across the sticky, sauce-covered floor.

He grinned when he saw you looking, making your stomach drop. “What?” He asked, biting his lower lip in as he staved off a full-on smile.

“Nothing. Just thinking about how you roped me into going out again tonight.” You said with faux aggravation.

Josh sucked in his teeth as he plopped the mop back into the big yellow bucket, rolling it over to where you stood. “Actually, I asked you out with me tonight for another reason. I wasn’t kidding when I said I was gonna get absolutely shit hammered, tonight.” His tone was serious rather than silly, and you instantly felt like something was wrong.

“What’s the other reason?” You pressed, lifting the bag from the can. “Everything okay?”

He shook his head and swallowed, opening the double doors to the kitchen to go and dump his bucket. You followed closely behind him with your trash.

“Eh, not really. I’ll tell you all about it when we get there. Let’s lock this bitch up.” He flashed his eyes to the floor as he spoke, which was unlike him. He always spoke with such confidence and effortless ease.

The two of you finished up your closing tasks and said goodnight to the line cooks, grabbing up your things from your lockers and stuffing your aprons back inside. Josh was quiet the whole time, again striking you as out of the ordinary. You hadn’t known Josh long, but you did know him well enough to know that something was off, and he wasn’t handling it well.

“Think I’m going straight for liquor tonight.” He said as you walked arm in arm down the crowded sidewalk to the bar. He tilted his head back, blowing a puff of air above you, watching as the cold air turned it into steam.

“Damn.” You answered. “You must really be going through it, friend.” It was also unlike Josh to drink liquor; each time you were around him, he’d always chosen draft beer.

You both stepped inside the dimly-lit dive bar, letting the heat warm your chilly bones from the cold autumn air. You both took up camp on two stools at the end of the bar, closest to the back wall. The bartender Roy approached you, throwing down two bar napkins in front of you as you got comfortable in your seats.

“Evenin’, guys. Sex on the Beach andddd, Josh, we’ve got a Kolsch and a pale ale on tap, and also a—“

“Jack Daniel’s. Neat, please.” Josh interrupted Roy, causing him to contort his face with surprise.

“Been waiting on you almost five years and never known you to drink liquor. But, alright…” Roy responded as he left for a minute, returning and placing your drinks in front of you. “I’ll keep the tab goin’.”

It was silent between the two of you for the first couple of minutes, both of you sipping your drinks as you relaxed your muscles from the long workday. Finally, you decided you would have to be the one to speak first, for once.

“Okay, spill. What’s got you on the hard stuff tonight?” You asked, turning to face Josh in your stool.

He leaned on his elbow, his tight black t-shirt squeezing his toned arm just right. “I got dumped last night.”

You felt your eyebrows jump to your forehead. “What?! Oh my god, I’m so sorry, Josh…I didn’t even know you had a—“

“Nah, it’s okay. I could kinda tell shit was going sideways, anyway, ya know? Almost expected it. But, still doesn’t make it hurt any less.” He disconnected his eye contact, tilting his glass back all the way and finishing off the last bit of his whiskey.

You were almost stunned speechless. You hadn’t seen Josh show any emotion that even came close to sadness before, and you struggled with how you were going to react.

Roy brought the bottle of Jack over, filling Josh’s glass with another two fingers.

“How long were you together?” You asked, tiptoeing with caution, given that he might not want to go into much detail.

“Four and a half years.” He said blankly.

“My god, are you serious?!” You choked out with disbelief.

He nodded hard as he kept his eyes trained on the bar in front of you, spinning his stool in tiny tight circles. “Yeah. Long time.” He sipped his drink again.

“I really am sorry, Josh. That’s a long time to be with someone for it to just...” You placed a hand on his arm as you spoke.

He crossed his arms in front of him. “Yeah, it’s fucked.” He growled, leaning back in his stool.

“You wanna talk about it?” You asked.

“No, that’s why we’re here.” He slammed his hands on the bar top, motioning for Roy to refill your already almost empty cocktail.

Roy brought your new drink over, stirring the drink with the tiny straw for you. Josh lifted his glass into the air, forcefully clinking it against yours. “To moving on!” He said, finishing the drink off once again.

——

An hour or so later, you and Josh had managed to find yourselves significantly intoxicated once again, engaged in a deep passionate debate.

“Ever since they banned smoking indoors, the American bar scene has been fucked!” Josh drunkenly yelled overtop of the loud music and large crowd that had joined you inside the bar.

You had to laugh. “Josh, not everybody loves breathing that shit in! It makes some people really sick!” You challenged.

“Ah, hell. You come into a bar, you expect to be around smoke, all there is to it. All there is to it!” He crossed his arms and shrugged his shoulders in defiance of your argument.

“You can go outside and smoke, Josh. Easy as that. Just get over it!” The two of you were glassy-eyed and giggly, feeling your liquor take hold of you as you talked. Josh brought about a warmth in you that you’d never experienced before, and you’d be lying if you said your…attraction? to him wasn’t amplified when you were drunk.

No, not attraction.

Something else…

You had no idea what to label the feeling, because you’d never felt it ever before. You took it in stride, though, embracing the completely new emotion as it came. It was almost like you craved his attention, and fed off of him engaging with you. You wanted to please him, but not in such a way that was sexual.

…You didn’t think.

No. You just craved his recognition. Wanted his eyes on you and no one else. Wanted to make him laugh, be the one who made him forget about everything else. It wasn’t a jealousy thing, it was a matter of possessiveness. You wanted to protect him like a best friend. And anyone who dared cause him unhappiness would have to deal with you.

Is this insane thinking?! Am I crazy for this? You drunkenly asked yourself as you washed your hands in the bar bathroom sink, giving yourself a disapproving look in the mirror. Probably, maybe…but he seems to feel the same about you... You had noticed that the second you’d inadvertently struck up a conversation with another guy at the bar, Josh quickly stole your attention away again, bringing up a whole new topic of conversation that had nothing to do with the last.

He charmed you. Drew you in. Challenged your thoughts and opinions…made you talk like you’d never talked before. Laugh like you’d never laughed.

“You’re really smart, Y/N. I didn’t really notice that about you, before.” Josh smiled as he leaned over toward you on the bar. His cheeks were tinted the prettiest pink from the alcohol.

“Uhh, thanks, I guess?” You chortled, feigning being offended.

“No I mean, you surprise me. Keep me guessing, every time I turn around. Never had a friend like that before. I’m usually so bored with everyone I meet. You make me like, think. Ya know?” He explained as you nodded sweetly in understanding. You knew you were blushing.

“Last call!!” You heard Roy yell across the still-crowded room. You made blurry eye contact with Josh again.

“Damn, we didddit agin.” You stammered. “Let me pay, you’ve had a hard couple’a days.”

“No no no, no you don’t. I asked you here, my treat. Plus, my drinks were fuckin’ pricey tonight.”

“But Josh, let me treat you, for once...” You jutted your bottom lip out as you begged him. You watched as his eyes landed on your lips, stealing his attention again. Suddenly, you felt excited.

“Alright, alright. But I’m leavin’ the tip.” He agreed. “I just needed some sympathy…that’s all I wanted tonight.”

“And you got it, didn’t you? You forgot all about your messy breakup?”

“For the most part, yes.” He laughed. “But I like to look at the long run, ya know? Like to take each step, one by one. Let myself live in the sadness.”

You scoffed as you signed your name on the receipt and pulled your coat on. “Psh, Josh, didn’t you just cheers me and say ‘to moving on’?”

He stood from his stool, wrapping his arm around your neck tightly. The smell of his cologne mixed with the remnants of pizza filled your senses, temporarily making you dizzy as he squeezed you in his grip.

“I did, Y/N, I did. But I’m also drunk, now. So. And also, I don’t really wanna go home yet. ‘M gonna walk you to your Uber then hit up Chauncey’s…they stay open ‘til 2.”

You turned in his grasp, your face within inches of his as he held you tightly. “Don’t go back out, Josh. No sense in drinkin’ your sorrows away by yourself.” It felt like you were outside of your own body; all you wanted was to go home and strip down and crawl into bed, but for some reason, your mouth told Josh that apparently you didn’t want to go home, either. “Come back to my place. We’ll have one more drink, and we can share the blunt that TJ gave me yesterday.”

“TJ? The linecook?” Josh seemed surprised. “You letting strangers give you drugs now, Y/N?”

“He’s hardly a stranger, Josh. Why, you jealous?” You teased, while also testing the waters of what the hell this feeling the two of you apparently shared could actually be.

“Fuck no, I’m not jealous. I’m…I…” Josh opened his mouth, but nothing came out after that. “I don’t know, I just—“ You were still tightly wrapped up in the crook of his elbow, his face so close to yours that you could smell the liquor on his breath as he struggled to speak.

You decided to save him. “It’s alright Josh. You don’t have to come over. I’ll smoke it allllll by myself…” you sneakily wrapped your arm around his back, giving it a couple playful pats.

He looked down at you through his lashes, his jaw clenched tightly together. “You really want me to come over?”

You nodded. “I do. Come on, it’ll be fun.” More than anything, you wanted him to know you were the reason he had such a good night, and the reason he was able to forget about his breakup.

“Okay, jackass. You talked me into it. Let’s go get high.” He released you from his grasp as you confirmed your Uber on your phone, and your overwhelming satisfaction of claiming his attention again propelled you out the door.

——

“Cute place. You decorate it yourself?” Josh teased as you both entered your apartment. It was only half-decorated and you hardly had any furniture, spending most of your days working and saving up money to finish furnishing it.

“Shut up, dick head!” You shoved him backwards as he laughed. “I haven’t finished making it cute yet.” You pulled the bottle of liquor from the cabinet, shaking the little bit that was left. “I know you’ve been drinking whiskey, but…vodka’s all I’ve got.”

“Ah, it’ll work.” Josh responded, plopping down on your couch. “M’already fucked with a hangover tomorrow, might as well do it up.” You caught sight of his pretty light brown curls sitting on top of his head, and you felt another rush of that strange excitement soar through you.

You made the two drinks and joined him on the couch, pulling the blunt up under your nose as you breathed in its earthy scent. Josh took the drink from your hand, raising his eyebrows as he watched you smell the rolled marijuana.

“TJ usually has good shit, I will say.” He winked, sipping his drink.

You pulled your feet up underneath you on the couch, scooting yourself closer to him. “Thought you said I shouldn’t take drugs from strangers…”

“I never said you shouldn’t, I just meant that next time you should get your weed from me.” He spoke without a care, taking the blunt from your hand and bringing it to his own nose.

“Ah, well I was unaware I could do that, Joshua.” You snatched it back from him, taking the lighter from the table in front of you and lighting the end of the blunt. You inhaled the smoke slowly, noticing that Josh hadn’t responded to you.

You glanced at him, finding the most devastating half smile on his face. You swore you felt your skin tingle.

“Did you just call me by my government name, Y/N?” He whispered, leaning his head down to you.

You exhaled the smoke you didn’t realize you were holding, nodding slowly. “Yeah, you mad about it?”

You passed him the blunt. “Nah, kinda liked the way it sounded, actually.” You watched as his lips made a perfect O around the tip of the blunt, and you found yourself wondering what kind of chapstick he used to get them to look…like that…

You felt your eyes grow heavy as your first hit found you, the THC entering your system quickly. Josh must have noticed, as he giggled at your appearance. “Told you TJ had good shit.”

“I swear to god I’m already fuckin’ high…” you laughed, taking another big hit.

“Mmm, no baby, you’re crossed. But not all the way. Yet.” Josh’s voice was gritty and buttery all at the same time. And the fact that he called you baby had you feeling that same feeling again. He calls everybody baby, though…all the girls at work…you’re not special.

The two of you sat and smoked until the blunt was a roach, and the air around you was thick with haziness. Your entire body was heavy and floaty, and you swore you could feel the blood pumping through your extremities. The conversation with Josh was so easy, so effortless, and the way the two of you held the complete attention of one another continued to astound you.

“So tell me about you. What’s your real story?” Josh asked, the both of you sitting facing one another completely, now.

You sipped your vodka drink. “What do you mean, real story?”

“I only know a little bit about you, where did you come from? What’s in your past?”

You took a deep breath. “Well, believe it or not, Josh, I kinda just got broken up with recently, too.”

“No way, you’re kidding. When? What happened?” He pressed.

“Ahh, about a month before I started at Angelo’s. I’m from about twenty miles away, up north a bit. Came here looking to start completely fresh. Still close enough to my family, if I need them. Ya know…” you trailed off. Josh’s eyes were telling you to continue.

“I got dumped, too. After a year of being with him. I thought we were serious, but apparently not. It didn’t hurt me too bad, I’m alright. Liking my new life pretty well, actually.”

Josh dramatically leaned back on the couch cushion, throwing his free hand over his face. “Ugh, god…how embarrassing. You handled bein’ dumped like a goddamned rockstar. I’m over here down in the dumps.”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s okay, Josh. Four and a half years is a lot longer than one…”

“You’re right, I guess.” He sat back up, bringing his attention back to you. “So what was his reason? What was his last straw?” He asked, moving his face closer to yours. Your body was vibrating from the alcohol and the weed, and the presence of Josh sitting so close to you on your couch. You were positively buzzing.

“He uh, didn’t really give me one. Just said it was over.” You whispered, feeling your emotions flying all over the place. Josh’s hand reached up, twirling a piece of your hair between his fingers. “He also said I was a bad kisser, or something stupid.”

Josh winced at your words. “A bad kisser? I highly doubt that, Y/N…”

“And why do you doubt that?” You giggled.

“Because. I have a hard time taking my eyes off your lips, I can only imagine how hard it would be to take my lips off of them…” he smirked a little, laughing through his nose.

“You’re fuckin’ stoned.” You laughed, leaning your face onto his hand.

“And? I speak nothing but the truth, baby.”

“Mmmhm, yeah. Shut up.” You complained.

“I’m serious. I bet you really are a good kisser. That guy was just…stupid.”

“Maybe I’m a horrible kisser, how would I ever know?” You shrugged, feeling your body about to jump out of your skin simply from having this conversation with Josh.

He held his first two fingers up, motioning for you to come here. “Come on. Show me how you like to kiss.”

“What?! No, I’m not gonna do that.” You blushed, pulling away from him with shyness.

“Baby, it’s me. I’m just trying to judge your kissing skills. I’ll be completely honest with you, tell you if that guy was right or not.” Josh said, holding his hands out to the sides.

You stopped, staring at Josh through your slit eyelids, trying to figure him out. He met you with sincere eyes, and though you were both extremely intoxicated, you didn’t feel uncomfortable in the least.

“I’m serious. Just kiss me.” He said matter of factly. “S’no big deal.”

You took a deep breath, feeling the air surrounding you heavy with normalcy, but also heavy with yearning.

You slowly pulled yourself in closer to him, gently wetting your lips as your mind went back and forth on whether or not to do this. Your breath became a little chopped, nerves bursting through the wall of your drunken carelessness.

Finally you were close enough to feel his breath on your lips, and your hands naturally shot up to cup his jaw. He clenched it, his eyes falling heavy again as his breath caught. Your heart was absolutely pounding from your chest.

“Do it.” He whispered. “Show me.”

You finally let your lips press gently to his, your hands still cupping his jaw, as his hands sat comfortably in his lap. The feeling of them was exactly what you had imagined, soft, supple, and sweet, with the tiniest bit of sting on them from the leftover liquor. You finally exhaled, pulling away a bit to gauge his reaction.

“You can get into it, baby.” He smiled, urging you to push through your nerves. “I’m just here to help, s’just me…” his voice was like honey, the sound of it tearing through your body as he motivated you.

You leaned in again, this time letting yourself be a little more brazen, a little more steadfast as you worked to prove your ex wrong. Worked to impress Josh. Worked to show him. You opened your mouth a little, letting your tongue skirt across his bottom lip. The flavor of him almost knocked you down.

You began to get into it some more, letting your high take over, and letting your guard down as you found yourself really, really enjoying kissing him. You perched up a little bit moving to your knees to get a better stance.

“Mmmhmm… keep goin’ baby…” Josh mumbled when you broke away for a second. His words urged you on, and you felt brave enough to push your tongue further into his mouth, but only a little. You didn’t want to overwhelm, just experiment. His tongue met yours in the process, tasting each other for the very first time.

Your hands curled up in his hair, squeezing at the roots a bit. He let out a little whine, so quiet that you almost didn’t even hear it. It ignited something inside you again, and you knew you had to drive it home. Had to prove yourself. You pulled away for a second, hissing in air as you bit his bottom lip, pulling it out a little and making eye contact before pressing into him again, both of you moving in such unison that you were fully involved in the sultry kiss, now.

At this point you felt like you were teetering on the thin line of platonic kissing; you were still trying to prove yourself, but also…he tasted so good…

You felt the need to be touched. You reached down and grabbed Josh’s wrists, pulling them up to rest on you- one hand on your thigh, and the other around the back of your neck. You wanted reciprocation. He obliged, and as you licked into his mouth, his hand squeezed into your thigh, strong and needing. His fingers felt like burning embers on your leg, and you wished that you had changed into shorts when you got home.

His hand pulled at the back of your neck, burying your mouths further into one another. “Fuck, baby…he was wrong, you proved him so wrong…” Josh said, smiling against your lips as he delved back in. Your mind was swimming from his words of praise, and you decided that though this was simply an act between friends, you knew that you could kiss him all day long, never tiring of the feeling of his lips on yours. You were completely surrounded by him, by his warming presence. His scent, his sounds, his touch… It was all too much. You felt like you were drowning in him, but you didn’t dare try to pull yourself from his waters.

Your hands squeezed at his hair one last time as you let them drift down his cheeks and neck, tickling the back of his neck before rolling across his shoulders. You slowly brought them down to his pecs, and finally rested them on his cheeks again, pulling his face away from yours for a split second before landing one last peck.

When you finally disconnected, you took in the sight of him…hair disheveled, eyes black and glazed, and his hands still rested gently in the places that you put them.

“Holy fuck…” he breathed.

“Oh my god, was it bad? It was bad, wasn’t it? He was right, I’m a horrible kis—“ you were completely cut off by Josh’s lips on yours again, this time forcefully pulling you into him. This kiss was pleading, unbridled, and wanting, and each time you pulled away, you both were panting with want.

“What the fuck are we doing?” You breathed when you broke away.

“Kissing contest.” He answered, his hand respectfully staying on the back of your neck. “I think I’m winning, though…”

“Mmm, I don’t know about that…” you said with a bit more confidence in yourself after seeing how you made him feel.

“Yeah you’re right.” He agreed through an inhale. “You’re kicking my ass at this experiment.” He drove his tongue into your mouth again, but it didn’t make you want to retract…it made you want to pull it in further. You began to feel the heat that the two of you were emanating, and the sweat that was forming on your skin.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t completely turned on, but you would never let him know that. You couldn’t. You’re just friends. One friend helping another get over his ex by having a kissing contest. Makes total sense.

Finally you pulled away again, covering your mouth with your hand. You laughed, making Josh in turn laugh with you. “Well? What’s the verdict? Was he right?” You asked.

“Fuck no, he wasn’t right. You’re a hell of a kisser, Y/N.” Josh’s smile stretched all the way across his face, completely blissed out in his high. “God damn, you left me a panting mess, baby.”

Your heart stopped at his words, feeling more confidence in yourself than you’d felt in a long, long time. Suddenly, the wildest idea to ever come across your mind escaped right through your lips.

“Josh, we’re just good friends, right?” You asked.

“Yeah, baby. Real good friends.” He wiped his hand across his mouth before extending both arms across the back of your couch.

“Do you—do you care if I finish what I started?” You asked in an absolute moment of weakness. The look on his face turned up into surprise, and you weren’t sure how he was going to react to your question.

“What uh, what do you mean, Y/N?”

You moved toward him again, wanting to feel him again. Feel his hands on you again. Be the center of all his attention again.

“Can you judge something else for me, Josh? I’ve always wondered how well I…performed…and who better to be the judge than my very good friend? Who will be completely honest with me?”

WHO even are you?! You felt like a person outside your own body. The confidence he was giving you was…

“This ain’t no way to treat the broken-hearted, baby…” he replied, his voice a soft breath of air as his head lulled backwards. You paused again, unsure how to take him. “But I’ll be your judge…”

“Really? You will?” You asked, feeling vulnerable, but also wanting to show out for him.

“Mhm. If that’s what you really want…” He bit his lower lip into his mouth, letting his eyes fall onto your lips like they had been doing all night.

“Just friends…” you reiterated.

“Just friends.” He parroted, lightly tapping your cheek with his hand.

This was absolutely something you never did, and definitely wasn’t something you could ever even see yourself doing with Josh, of all people. You were supposed to be making him forget about his ex, letting him talk through it… hell, he was just dumped twenty-four hours ago. But there was something other-worldly spurring you on, whispering in your ear to just do it. And he was letting you. Was it wrong? Maybe, probably… but honestly, where was the harm in it? You were both obviously into each other, and as long as you were just making each other happy, you didn’t see anything wrong with it.

Besides, this new need to make him think about nothing but you at every single second was making your head spin, and you wanted his focus completely on you, right now. You moved to press your lips to his again, letting things naturally heat up so that you could continue on with your intentions. You took a deep breath, confidently removing yourself, and placing yourself in the floor in front of him. It was at this second that you were extremely thankful for your liquid courage, and the fact that you were too stoned to care about much else besides pleasing Josh. He almost made it easy.

“Ten.” Josh said out of nowhere.

“What?” you asked.

“I give your kissing a ten out of ten. Seriously.” He said, smiling from the corner of his mouth as he ran his hand along your arm, peering down at you as you kneeled on the floor.

You felt your face turn beet red, and you halfway didn’t really believe him.

“Stop playing, you don’t have to be nice.” You erred.

“M’not just being nice. Seriously, I rate it a ten.” He stated, and you knew by the sincerity in his voice that he was telling the truth.

“Wow. Didn’t expect that, honestly.” you pulled a few strands of hair behind your ear. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Now, you gonna finish what ya started, or not?” There was a darkness in his tone that you hadn’t noticed yet, and it made your stomach turn over with nerves. But even more so, it lit a fuse in your chest that was slowly burning, ready to explode at any given second. And with each passing minute, you wanted to impress him even more.

You maneuvered yourself on your knees, gripping his thighs and pulling them apart so that you could place yourself between them. Your hands stayed there on his legs, squeezing and kneading at his muscles as you moved your hands closer and closer to where you both really wanted them to be. You could almost physically see him getting harder through his dark jeans, and you could hear his breathing picking up, too.

You let your hands drift to his groin, squeezing the muscles there as he leaned down in his seat, giving you extra space as his head fell back on the cushions. You found the button on his jeans, pulling the fabric sideways and undoing the button with one hand and unzipping the zipper. “Damn, alright…” Josh laughed, holding his hands up. “Show off.”

You took that as a tiny win, and decided to keep it going, playing on his words from earlier. ‘You keep me guessing at every turn…’

You pushed your hair back behind your shoulders, and leaned yourself down, letting your mouth meet his boxer-covered dick. You nipped your teeth lightly at it, making him hiss. You could tell just from this little bit of contact that he was well-endowed, and you felt your mouth physically watering for him. You needed to taste him. Your lips bounced around, peppering little kisses all over… the indirect contact making his hips jut up a little.

You sat back, motioning with your hands. “Pull them down for me.” you demanded of him, and he gave you the sneakiest smirk, leaning back and pushing his pants and boxers down far enough to spring himself free.

You weren’t wrong. He was perfectly sized, and it reassured you that you were okay with going forward with this. What you did notice, though, was he wasn’t as hard as you wanted him to be. Your hands rested on his thighs again as you sized him up, licking your lips as you prepared yourself.

Josh had been the one urging you on all night, but suddenly, it felt like there had been a little bit of a shift. You finally brought your moistened lips to him, licking little circles around his tip, starting slowly at first, then picking up a little bit of speed. You swirled and gently suckled, and you felt him take in a big breath of air into his lungs. You glanced up at him, finding him looking up at the ceiling as he bit his lips.

“What’sa matter, Josh? You okay?” you pressed, knowing that you could stop at any second, if that was what he wanted.

“No, yeah. I’m fine. I’m sorry, I just… this is the first time someone else…since…” he didn’t need to say anything more.

“God, yeah. I’m sorry, your breakup is so fresh, I’m sure this is more mental than anything, for you…” you agreed as you sat back. “We don’t have to–”

“No. Yes we do, Y/N. I’m just…” You could tell Josh was having a hard time with his words again, for the second time tonight.

“Just what? You can tell me…”

He swallowed, placing a sweet hand on the side of your face. “This is the first time I’ve um…been…with a woman…in a very long time.”

“Oh.” You muttered, his sentiment catching you off guard a little. You hadn’t realized you never even asked the name of his ex, let alone any details about the relationship.

“But it’s okay, Y/N…” He smiled, letting his thumb brush your cheek. “I may be wallowing in my sorrows, but it doesn’t mean I don’t want this, want you to do this. Just…in my head a little bit.” He admitted, putting a hole through your heart.

You sighed. “It doesn’t feel wrong?” Your voice was tiny as it escaped you.

He quickly shook his head side to side as he layed back on his elbow behind his head. “No. That’s what’s making me freak out a little, it doesn’t feel wrong in the least.” He swallowed. “Maybe I…Maybe I wasn’t as in love as I thought I was.”

You smiled a pitiful smile as you rested your elbows on his knees, taking a deep, recentering breath of your own.

“You’re really fuckin’ pretty, Y/N.” He complimented you out of the blue, his thumb still grazing your cheek. “And I’m really into you.”

“You are?” You asked.

“Yeah. I know we said we’re friends, but friends can do this. Right? Doesn’t stop the fact that I’m attracted to you.” His glossy words made your stomach do flips again as you realized maybe his feelings were the exact same as yours. Unexplainable, but still overwhelmingly good.

“Yeah. I really think friends can do this.” You agreed. And you were serious. If you were going to be this person for Josh, then he could also in turn be this person for you.

“Plus, the feeling of your lips on my cock just now…” He laughed through his nose. “Might be in competition with your ten out of ten kissing. And you hadn’t even…” He stopped there, biting both his lips into his mouth as he slid his hips down again.

Good god, you’d hoped he would have a little bit of a dirty mouth.

“You want me to keep going?” You asked.

“Fuck yeah, I do. I gotta judge your skill, don’t I?” He played, removing his hand from your cheek and running it through your hair. He gripped it a little, making you stiffen your neck. Your eyes flashed to his, and you didn’t even need to say anything, he knew what you meant. He nodded, giving you the go ahead, and you prayed that he wouldn’t remove his hand from tangling up in your hair.

You slowly leaned down to him again, starting things up just as you had before. Your tongue swirled on his tip, wetting it in circles as you let the saliva build up in your mouth. Around and around you took it, descending further and further onto him with every rotation. You heard him breathe out, his hips shaking a little beneath you. As you got as far as you could get, you pursed your lips down, tightening them around the base of his cock before sucking hard, pulling up and off of him completely. His hand tightened in your hair, showing you that he was liking it so far.

He let out a groan, followed by a little laugh. “Fuck yeah, Y/N…”

You quickly found a rhythm, letting your head begin to bob as you worked your tongue and cheeks, alternating forceful suction mixed with light little pops of your lips. His hips were jutting with every movement, and the sounds that were coming from him were enough to keep you going, keep you striving to impress him…

You took him in your hand, gripping at the base and using the saliva that had dripped down as lubrication to move your hand, twisting and pumping it. “Jesus Christ, you’re…” You took a second to glance up at him, seeing his jaw tightly clenched and his chest heaving with labored breaths. He brought his other hand down, pulling the hair that had drifted down away from your face, pulling it all back to the nape of your neck and holding it tightly there. You nodded, letting him know you were okay with him guiding your movements.

“Mhm.” You hummed on him. “Show me how you like it.”

He let out a choke of breath and readjusted in his seat, spreading his legs wider for you. He gripped a little harder on your hair, pulling you up and across his stomach, your faces almost touching as he brought his mouth close. He didn’t say anything, just hissed through his teeth as he scanned over your face. He then used a little bit of force to push your head back down to where it was, and you resumed your work.

Fuck, what the hell is happening… your chemistry with Josh was absolutely off the chain. You felt like you would follow every command he would ever give you, let him use you in the worst ways, completely trusting him to do as he pleased. You were absolutely yearning to satisfy him.

“I’ll show you exactly how I like it baby, but this is your show, remember? You’re calling the shots…” he growled, his voice deeper and more grating than it was earlier. You shrugged one shoulder, replacing your hand around his base. You moved it up and down opposite of your mouth, making his whole body start to shake. Your tongue worked on him, as your mouth drifted down as far as it could possibly go, with the help of Josh’s light guidance.

The weed had contributed to your slow, languid movements while the alcohol made your inhibitions fly out the window… the beautiful combo of the crossfade sending you both into a blurry and slow-motioned entanglement. You swore you could listen to his noises and praises on repeat. “So fuckin’ pretty, Y/N… so fuckin’ pretty…” He mumbled, lightly thrusting himself into your mouth as your neck began to ache a little. “Slow and steady, just like that…”

He puffed out a quick breath with a blow of his lips, and you could tell that he was enjoying himself just as much as you were. Normally, you would finish up the job, and expect repayment, but getting Josh to even feel the tiniest bit of pleasure at your hand was enough. It was that draw, that need to make him feel good. Keeping him and him only in the spotlight. And if you had to guess, you were doing a pretty good job at it.

After a few seconds, his movements became jostled, and his once slow grinding movements started to falter. You felt him start to throb in your mouth, and you knew it wouldn’t be long until he was crumbling beneath you, all at the mercy of your mouth.

“Hey, you want me to–” he said, suddenly shuddering.

You nodded again, pleading with him to let it all go. You wanted the whole thing, wanted him to have the full experience. You needed to see what he tasted like.

His breath started to pick up as he gripped your hair tighter, his hips pushing his dick further into your mouth as you let him graze the back of your throat, tears pouring from the sides of your eyes. “Come on baby, come on… just a little bit longer…fuck…”

Finally, he was letting it all go, filling up your mouth as you swallowed his bitter-sweetness down, savoring the taste of him on your tongue. His whole body went rigid as he came, shaking and jerking as you worked to make sure not a drop was left behind. You squeezed your hand around him, pulling him up into your mouth. His whines were like music to your ears, pathetic and pitiful as he worked to come back down to earth.

“Son of a bitch, Y/N… that was…” he said as you sat back up, wiping your mouth off with the back of your hand. He caught your jaw in his grasp, squeezing your cheeks together and forcing you to open your mouth. He pulled you closer, bringing you in for a heated kiss that left you smoldering for him.

When you finally pulled away, you met eyes with him, and you could tell he was completely blissed out. “S’been a long time since I’ve had anything like that.” He admitted, pulling your back up to sit by him on the couch again.

He tucked himself back in his boxers but decided to forgo buttoning back up. “Really? Even in a four and a half year long relationship?” You asked.

“Ah, I dunno. We were long distance, so… it was few and far between but. Really I meant being with someone who actually showed passion about making me feel good. You know what I mean?”

You couldn’t help but smile. That was exactly what you wanted out of this. For Josh to feel that you wanted to be there.

“Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I just…wanted to make you feel good.” You admitted, shrugging one shoulder up as you brushed your disheveled hair back into place. “So, what’s my rating, huh? Give it to me straight.”

Josh closed one eye and looked up with the other as if he was thinking really hard. “Uh, nine and a half.”

Your mouth fell slack, and you felt the soreness in your jaw joints. “Ah! Why the half?!” You argued. “Not a ten?”

He chuckled. “Would be a ten, but I only took away the half because I know that I won’t be able to feel you like that all the time.” You both stared at one another as you let his words sink in.

Could you, though?

“And because I feel like you were holding back, a little. Weren’t you?” He pressed. His statement took you by surprise, because he was right.

“...Maybe…”

“You shouldn’t have. It’s just me, remember. Guess you’ll have to show up and show out next time. See if you can get a perfect ten.” He said with nonchalance.

“Next time?” You spat without a thought.

He shrugged, squeezing his hand around your thigh. “Sure, why not? If you want to, of course. Might be fun to have a little situation we’re both comfortable with… no strings attached type thing…”

You ran over the idea in your head, not really seeing anything wrong with it. You nodded, agreeing with his outlandish proposal.

“But, there is one thing, Y/N.” He swallowed, awkwardly rubbing the back of his head. “Obviously I… um. I didn’t make you feel good, tonight. But, just give me some–”

You cupped your hand over Josh’s mouth. “Josh, honey, shut up. You don’t have to explain it to me. I understand, and it’s okay. If we’re gonna do this, it's all gonna be in good fun, right?”

He nodded from behind your hand. “Right.” He mumbled.

“And I certainly didn’t feel uncomfortable with you, so. I’m pretty positive we could just sit here and look at each other and we would have a good time.” You laughed, pulling your hand from his face. He caught your hand in his, and gave it a sweet squeeze.

“Not sure I’d be able to sit by you for too long without something happening. You’re a fuckin’ treat, Y/N. I swear.” His eyes traveled down your body again, and you watched his gears turn as his gaze drifted over your breasts. “Thank you, for tonight.”

“Thank you.” You whispered. “We still friends?”

He took your chin between his fingers. “Yeah. Good friends.”

As the air between you finally started to settle and the intoxication turned into sobriety, you realized that the night was nearly about to turn into morning. You didn’t have to be at work until 11, so you were going to be able to get at least a little bit of sleep before your shift tomorrow.

“It’s too late to get an Uber, Josh. Just stay here.” You more demanded than suggested, pulling the blanket from the back of the couch and tossing it overtop of his lap. You stood, stretching your body as you made your way toward your bedroom.

“What, you not gonna invite me to your bed?” He asked, throwing you off.

“Uhh, I mean, sure–”

“I’m kidding, Y/N. We’re friends. Friends don’t sleep in beds together. Friends sleep on couches.” You watched as he burrowed himself under the puffy blanket and made himself horizontal.

“Maybe one day you’ll end up in my bed.” You tossed the joke over your shoulder, walking down the short hallway.

“And maybe one day you’ll get a perfect ten.”

-xo, Jules

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mwagneto · 1 year

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im having so much fun on this uni work trip i wish i could post abt it

#im saur fucking exhausted like yknow that kinda exhaustion that makes your entire body overheat. it's that #but most of my friends are here and a lot of us got put in the same room so it's especially fun #it's like a holiday except way more tiring #also they said there'd be one meal a day but that meal is literally NOTHINGGGG and there's #no plates and no stove and the village we're in has 1 store and 0 restaurants so we're constantly hungry #but like i dont even mind any of it it's all so fun. hopefully this adrenaline will carry me through the rest of it too #barking #also it's not confidential or anything im just too private to go into details but mann

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enigma-absolute · 1 year

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Today marks 10 years since I first really stepped into the Eddsworld fandom and went through an event with it.

But it also happened to be first anniversary of its creator's passing. This year marks the 10th.

I figured 13 year old me wouldn't want to feel alone in that moment, so I made this to join her and go through the flow together.

Without Edd and Eddsworld, I don't think I would've had that accessible foundation, can-do mindset and enthusiastic influence, admiration and desire to animate and make stories of my own. I was a year too late when I first entered into the fandom and heard about it, but these past 10 years taught me it's never too late to make an impact and tell your tales - no matter how long they'll take.

Thank you Edd Gould. For everything.

#chris rambles #my creations #i sobbed a lot while making this and dealing with CSP crashing a few times during progress #long post #Edd Gould really did say to a friend that last set of green lines if you hit the readmore #it doesn't feel right to tag the fandom this time #EDIT: okay so i've got myself to cry a little more and put myself together #and boy howdy i understand now what it means when an emotional overload impedes your communication #(is annoyed at spelling+grammar mistakes in-comic and description but no i'm not gonna change it)#my god this fandom had both the best of times and worst of times - moreso fandom troubles than personal but still #fun fact: i got to meet a good bunch of the EWFM crew back in the day through the years and some are still good friends of mine #(this is when things were FINE and NOT WEIRD i'm talking early-mid 2010's here people)#some are moreso acquaintances and most just drifted away (that's fair!)#only one of them i know for a fact either one of us would take a bullet for the other (and if you're curious he was a lead role VA)#(won't say who for privacy but listen. A. if you're reading this: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I AM SO GLAD WE ARE FRIENDS)#yeah the friendship goes that deep and he makes me happy to say that I'm his friend #(he's also the only one of all the online friends i've mailed and penpaled to - who has sent stuff back. Nobody else but him.)#i need to chill now my goodness #there's so much ahead of me now bc of what my time in Eddsworld gave and I'm so so grateful <3

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magdaclaire · 9 months

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i just spent 20 minutes getting dressed, putting on shoes, putting on jewelry, and doing my hair (a very long time for me, i usually do it in ten minutes or less) and my mom STILL wasn't even STARTING to get dressed yet

#this woman. she's like oh i was entertaining john showing him tiktoks on my phone #and i'm like i don't care go get dressed #<- guy who started playing straight man to his mother's silliness at a young age and still does so #my brother taught me how to prioritize getting dressed to do it quickly bc we used to wake up late for the bus a lot #and it would be like 6:50 (bus comes between 7 and 7:05) and he'd be like up and at em dude i grabbed your caffeine out of the fridge lets #go get this bread. and he'd be doing his thing throwin me my caffeine putting on his shitty marching band shoes etc #the marching boots are only shitty to me bc he left one here when he moved to indiana and my mom and her friends made it a fixture #they took that boot camping with them. like oh we're doin good got the cocktails out john is grilling and east's boot is on the bar #and there would be like. a picture of easton's boot. with my auntie's sunglasses on or something #my family is at large very silly and they have more fun if someone is exasperated with them #i also participate in the silly but only if it's absolutely batshit absurd #most of my public humor is quick jokes and things that would sound mean out of context. i'm a scorpio it is what it is #they're usually not actually mean but wow #also i started writing this post seven minutes ago and mom still hasn't come out of her bedroom. cindy please.#mer rambles

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pepprs · 2 years

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also ok . i know i have been irlposting way too much but my parents are going to a concert 2 hrs away tmrrw for a Very Famous Person and it’s outdoors but certain to be crowded and it’s like uhmmmmm. a little ironic and frustrating is all. not to mention i am afraid for my siblings and my lives a little bit and also for my parents lives or whatever. lol

#purrs #like the way my *** terrorized ne for wanting to. and i repeat. walk around campus without even seeing anyone. but now you’re going to an #outdoor concert and will likely be the only one wearing masks? idk. i don’t like it. and we have nowhere in the house for anyone to isolate #so if they get it we will all get it. and i DO NOT want to get it. i do not want it. i want it to stay away from me. my throat felt a tiny #bit funny on tuesday (it was ok i just swallowed something wrong) and was so intensely anxious about FEELING myself get covid by the second #that i couldn’t focus on my work and barely got anything done. and this feels like a recipe for disaster. like the absolute irony of our #family being on lockdown STILL and barely going anywhere and me having to fight to work in person 2 days a week with like basically 1 person #in the office who wears a kn95 / n95 at all times…. and then you go to a fucking ***** **** concert in one of the front rows where ppl are #gonna rush the stage etc etc. it just is scaring me. i know my mom would be devastated to not go but also like. lol. i missed my graduation #and all my senior stuff and i know it was a spike but it fucking sucked so why do you get to go to this concert when you’ve been to redacted #concerts like 50x in your life… idk. bitter and jealous about it but it just infuriates me because if it was something i cared about a lot #she would shut it down bc it would endanger all of us and now here she is taking THE biggest risk anyone in our family has taken since #my brothers graduation which was also outdoors at a concert venue but like. most ppl were masked and rates were rly low and it wasn’t a #concert. this is very different. idk. im so scared i will get it i do not want covid i od not want long covid i want my brain exactly the #way it is i want my body exactly the way it is i want my life exactly the way it is and it just feels uhhhhh unfair and cruel. lawl #ALSO NOT TO MENTIKN the part i left out which is like… what if someone Does Someting. lol. i will lose my shit all day tomorrow and all #weekend too. i can’t take it i really can’t #also ok yeha i didn’t finish that thought but like the double standard of it. ***** **** is her lifelong idol so she can go see him at this #huge fucking dangerous concert but i can’t meet up with my friends in groups of 1-3 outdoors masked distanced etc. like ok #it’s the whole im the parent you’re the child shit. well it’s gonna be really funny if she gets us covid after putting me thru hell in #2020 in ways that have permanently damaged our relationship. play stupid games win stupid prizes and this is the DEFINITION of a stupid game

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inkskinned · 10 months

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no, actually, where is the whimsy?

my ex had a best friend named larry who asked me once: what do you think comes after irony?

we were at the bar where larry worked. it was a quiet night, and he'd hopped over to sit with us on the patron side. i swirled the lemon around my limoncello martini.

earnest positivity, i said, while my ex said, art self-destructs.

i stared at my ex. he stared at me.

his argument was the cinemasins argument: look how bad media is becoming! look at the loopholes and the dumb shit!

it was roughly 2011. galaxy print was still in. at the time, i had a favorite shirt that was a wolf howling at the moon. it got ripped in half in the wash and i honestly still mourn it. i dressed like effie stonem, because everyone did. and irony was the name of the thing. men liked MLP "ironically." the internet liked the kind of crass, "anti-mainstream" vibes of things like fuck romance, touch my butt and buy me pizza. we put cats in sunglasses everywhere, which was because we only liked things in irony.

and media had the same vibe in it: anti-hero white men would be "hard to love" and then storm off the scene. nobody was just earnestly trying to save the world: they were jaded, angry, unoriginal. mad you even asked them to try to help.

my ex ends up not being wrong. cinemasins becomes super popular. a lot of people start viewing media with this lens that is the cruelest, most jaded depiction. it's wrong for your character to have unexplained powers, even if the entire movie is about how strange it is she has unexplained powers - that is still considered a "loophole." characters make thoughtless, panicked choices? loophole. characters are actually kind people, despite hardship? loophole. features a woman doing literally anything without assistance? loophole. movies become hyper-aware of scrutiny, and now irony rules the media.

which means you go to a movie, and the character has to turn to the screen and say "beats me!!" or one of the side characters has to have some kind of quip like "are you seriously telling me that you think this is normal?" because nothing can happen in earnest. like a sitcom laugh track, we now anticipate the fourth-wall break: the moment that the media acknowledges it is telling a story. the media has to apologize for itself, or else someone like my ex rolls their eyes.

but here's the thing: i wasn't wrong either.

the difference might be that i am (and always have been) so soft-hearted that any crack in the light of this world will spear me into the ground. and i was the poet in the relationship. (he thought that was the same thing as being naïve and stupid). i was making things daily. i knew how all of us artists are driven by some strange desire to evolve. he notably liked to critique art, not to create it.

so yes, i've made things that are bitter and angry and even ironic. i've made long, sharp poems with all capital letters, and i've made poems about how the silence stretches out like a song. someone wrote once that we will spend our whole lives just circling the place we grew up. i think it's more that we spend our whole lives trying to remake a home. i think it's that as we age, it becomes less exciting to build the castle on the beach - we become aware of erosion, of windforce. we realize what we really want is to come home to our dog, castle or not.

and while art in the foreground is mired in white male violence and irony, and aggression, and not taking anything seriously - i don't think that's true of all art. i think more and more artists are leaning in to the things we love. the world has changed so much. they have taken so many things from us. the only thing we have left is love. at the bottom of the moving box - all we get is the faint sense that we have to appreciate what little we've got. i can't enjoy this stuff ironically anymore: what room do i have for irony? if it makes me happy, that is an amazing thing. there are so few happy places left for me. i want to be happy because of how leaves shiver beside each other like nestling birds. i want to be happy because of the color pink, and how magenta doesn't exist. i have spent so much of this life suffering, i have earned my right to a gentle ending. if nothing matters, i get to assign meaning to the nothing. i get to create meaning. i am an artist first and foremost, which means creation is my thing.

where is the whimsy? wherever i fucking put it. because if this is my last fucking chance to do any good in this world - i want to do it earnestly. i want to write things that make you happy. that make people feel heard and seen. what comes after irony has to be positivity.

it was close to my 21st birthday. in 7 years, i would end up writing a book about this relationship, which is hopefully coming out somewhere around May 2024. i come back to this bar scene in my memories a lot. i keep thinking of how pale my ex was. the look that crossed his face. how i looked back at him. how for a moment, both of us couldn't recognize the other person. like the gulf between us was a suddenly wide and cavernous thing. like we were alien to each other. he never took my opinion seriously, and he always seemed surprised whenever his manic-pixie-dream-girl ever broke free of the plot. like in the whole time we were together, i wasn't human enough.

this knowledge: where he said nothing comes after, my only instinct was what comes after is love.

#spilled ink #writeblr #this is a real story lol #looking back i liked larry as a person SO much more than my ex hollyyyyy shitttt #compulsory heterosexuality will do you DIRTY #edit to correct effies name my apologies to effie and effies family

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literalgrill · 5 months

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Do NOT Support Hard Drive On Patreon

You might see friends today suggesting you support Hard Drive on Patreon today. You know, the funny video games version of The Onion? As a journalist, I will firmly tell you DO NOT GIVE THEM A DIME.

The CEO has pushed out all former staff that have built the site up to its current greatness and has been pushing the use of AI. The staff begged to have a Patreon before basically all being pushed out, but the idea was refused until now, when it will only line the pockets of a single person instead of hard working writers.

I know they might have provided laughs before, but Hard Drive is a shell of what it was once. Let it die and support the people who actually made those moments of joy possible. Don't believe me? Check out what former employees are saying below:

Kevin Podas: Okay you know what, I would feel bad saying nothing about this, so here goes:🚨SAVE YOUR MONEY🚨

We passionately advocated for a Patreon at Hard Drive & were aggressively shot down. The talent & people who built the site were pushed out. To see this now is beyond upsetting. For the past few years or so I put a lot of myself into this website. I pitched a ton of jokes, got over 120 articles published, & met a lot of great people. I'm sure if you've been following me for some time you could easily see this.

However, there is a lot of misinformation. I was eventually promoted to Managing Editor of the site & was ecstatic. Grateful for the opportunity. Felt like all of my hard work in the comedy mines was finally paying off. But things took a turn for the worst, & each day there were new surprises that affected our livelihoods. These were all very avoidable surprises, mind you.

A patreon was going to be our hail mary, but alas, for some reason, the power that be did not want it. Causing us to leave a dream job behind. "At least we did all we could," we consoled ourselves afterwards. I put a lot of myself into this project. I pitched all sorts of ideas that could have helped-- we all did. Merch collaborations, Patreon-integrated YouTube content, so much more. And most of them were shot down out of sheer stubbornness and nothing more. To see lie after lie spread, and multiple big publications and YouTubers that I am a fan of promote this Patreon under these pretenses is incredibly upsetting. There are so many receipts.

Please share this and consider pulling out if you've already put money into this. On Hard Drive using AI, also from Kevin Podas: I can't personally confirm that part aside from some of the recent header images for articles on both Hard Drive and Hard Times are being made with AI. As far as writing, it's been mentioned in the past, but I personally do not know. Maybe others do, maybe not. MORE From Kevin Podas suggesting the owner denying a Patreon being set up earlier cost an artist a job that was replaced by AI: We had a social media person who was awesome! He made the images until this AI implementation. He had to leave because ad revenue was low and a Patreon was aggressively refused.

Luca Fisher: at the risk of burning some bridges, i have to back up kevin here. i've only been part-time, in-and-out of hard drive since i got in last year, but i can corroborate that management doubled and tripled down about not hosting a patreon/crowdfunding and that many other suggestions and ideas, including mine (and ones much smarter than mine!), were shot down in really long, apocalyptic threads of everyone left on deck desperately trying to come up with ways to keep the lights on. managerially it has been messy and sad

i've written for multiple publications that have long since died, ones that were in the process of dying, and ones that, in this case, are soon to be put in the ground. it is sad and sucks every time. i don't know what could have been done differently, but i do know that a lot of great writers and content creators were left shorthanded and unhappy by the way things have gone. and it is sort of puzzling to see the sudden championing of patreon after we were all told plenty of times that it couldn't work and we should move on also, just to add my own personal two cents here, i was really disappointed by the shuttering of many different article sections on the site over the past 6-8 months. i understand cutting corners in a deficit, and i know it had to be done. that said…

all in all, i'm really sad to see this all happen. i don't fault anyone, if only because i don't really know enough about how this all can happen to make sense of it. games journalism is in a sad, sorry state, and will likely no longer be a thing in the next decade

VideoSealMan: I'm gonna say this because I think I deserve to. For months, MONTHS on end I was bugging Hard Drive management about a Patreon. Often I got ignored for a week+, but when I actually got a response I was encouraged to - of all things, write up a Google Doc pitching the concept I did it regardless. I wasn't the only one trying to sway management on a Patreon, but so fiercely was I fighting for it that last night, I was accused of making this comment directly by the CEO! With no evidence whatsoever! After I'd been gone for over a month.

I vouched so hard for Patreon because I wanted all the writers and creatives working with Hard Drive including myself to get paid better. When I actually got a response, the idea was often shut down. Eventually due to the state of my company, my pay was cut for a second time I confronted management alongside a couple other important figureheads at the org and told them that if we couldn't do a Patreon - I could no longer financially justify staying there. The answer was still no, so I left. Baffled at the decision, but whatever.

It is unendingly frustrating to know that myself and many other people who put their soul into Hard Drive LEFT because of management's absolute refusal to compromise on a Patreon, to then see them launch one anyway a month later and get over 1000 people pledging money. I'm seeing a lot of things float around about greed and people being fired. No one was fired. Everyone who left, left because they were sick of management's decision-making. And honestly, management is a lot of things but I would not call them greedy. (From my experience.) They did genuinely make an effort to pay people as much as possible. I found the pay very fair for a while. I am not disputing that I was paid what I was owed - yet management frequently feels the need to remind critics of that. Lmao, yes. I was paid what I was owed. No one is disputing payment. You did the bare minimum a business owner should do and paid everyone their due, very well done. I make no allegations of greed, cheating or foul play. I make allegations of poor management and incompetence that has fucked over other people.

Basically the only people left at Hard Drive have been there for about 2 months. They will reap the rewards of this successful Patreon I and so many others passionately fought for for so long. We will not see a dime.

I do not know the new people at Hard Drive, But I feel bad for them. They were haphazardly thrust into Hard Drive's workplace with little to no explanation on how anything works, or given any context on the state of the place. Even now managements feeds them half-truths and misinformation about other people's grievances. I am broke and have been for a while. I had to move out of my flat in Reading and back with my family because of how little money I was making. This has basically doomed my flatmate to moving back in with abusive parents, which is something I feel guilty about every day. If we had gone with the Patreon I worked myself hoarse over back then, this could have been avoided. Some of my other good pals could also not have been fucked over.

It was a bad judgment call, but it's not a crime. It's just management getting it wrong.

So should you give to the Hard Drive Patreon? I don't know! I don't think any of the new people working there to patch up the holes left by the recent mass exodus have any bad intentions. Maybe they deserve it! But it is not the same site you knew a year ago, or even a month ago. Myself and many people who were there far longer than me and did far more for it than I did are all gone now because we could not deal with management's terrible decision-making and dogass communication any longer. That's what you should know, imo

I had an agreement in place with management that I would receive the next 8 months of revenue from the Hard Drive YT channel from my leaving in November. This was a deal I appreciated, and thought was very fair on management's behalf. So far, the deal has been honoured for 2 months. However as of last night I was removed from the Hard Drive Slack without warning, and as an editor for the YouTube channel. This means I no longer have any way of verifying how much I am owed, I just have to take their word for it. I'm sure management will make their own statements full of half-truths and weird language on the many cases being brought against them - I'd take everything they say with a pinch of salt if some of the screenshots I've seen of them talking about me are any indication lol

To management; I do not want to talk to you. I want you to DM me a screenshot of how much I'm owed every month and then send me the money per our agreement until June, then we can go our separate ways. Do that and admit to your mistakes, and maybe you can recover your reputation! That's it from me, lol. If they pull out of the deal and fuck me over I'll have more to say, but most of what I know is other people's stories of incompetence and poor decision-making, lol. I genuinely get no pleasure out of doing this; I do not think management is evil - I just think they're really bad at what they do and it's cost other, more talented people, lol. You should believe the writers imo

One last thing I wanna say btw, management did often stress that no one should try to make Hard Drive a full time thing. They were transparent about that, and that is fair. I was working on it because at a few points, I was lead to believe we actually were doing a Patreon. Many other ppl have similar stories of being strung along by management changing their minds and stop-starting shit every 2 weeks. We all made the fatal mistake of overestimating our manager - who would tell you one thing one day and something totally opposite the next week lol

Hunter R. Thompson:

I'm not your dad, but speaking as a Hard Drive writer, I don't know that funding Hard Drive on Patreon is worth it

The driving talent on the back end—behind the kickass site I joined in 2019—have peaced out over the years as the site's been (in our view) increasingly mismanaged. Mismanagement like, not setting up crowdfunding before the ship sank and all its best crew failed; or publishing a screenshot of Andy Ngo pedojacketing a trans writer, complete with her deadname; or a disgruntled ex-writer getting falsely accused of shit-talk, by actual staff. I'm grateful for the writing I've gotten to produce for HD (and will forever be kicking myself for not writing even more, in the four years I've had to do it!! i'm a dumbass!!!) but it is very much no longer the site I signed up for.

I don't want to resign as a contributor altogether, because I'm open to the idea of the site recovering and bad practices being retired as finances level out-- it would just be dishonest for potential backers to not be Aware Of The Circumstances, I think.

Jeremy Kaplowitz: i truly don't want to start shit, but feel compelled to say: i want to see Hard Drive succeed w/o resorting to throwing former writers & editors, myself included, under the bus. surely there's a way to save the site without building it over the corpses of those who left. my $0.02 i don't blame anyone who wants to sign up for the HD patreon and i support the website, but that includes those who worked on it for years, have complaints, and don't deserve to be treated like bitter assholes like this kind of stuff is just objectively true, meanwhile there's these new writers who joined the site after i left (meaning, in the last ~3 months) claiming people are liars. decide for yourself if you care, but this is what happened! [Quotes this Tweet]

Seth Finkelstein: Writing for Hard Drive has been a privilege the past few years, and it makes me so angry to see people I looked up to get jerked around behind the scenes. The amount of grenades the editors jumped on our behalf is immense, and I don't think the way they're being treated is right.

Other Bits On AI: We do know for sure however that AI art has been used by the site. Its fucking owner confirms it here:https://twitter.com/MattSaincome/status/1743040541603123622. Seems the owner pushed AI written articles as well! TayFabe: My vaguetweet is making the rounds & these made me apoplectic. - owner regularly lobbied using ai. Once he tested it & said ai was writing better satire than 25% of the HT/HD writers. - ai images were used on the site & socials w/o consulting the team or disclosing it publicly I found the ai bit relevant to include bc 1) it illuminates a stark change in HD's current direction & leadership, 2) ai images have previously been used on the site and (since deleted) ig posts, 3) ai content fucking sucks, and repeatedly pushing to use it is a telling quality The "handful of writers who chose to leave" includes 2 editors-in-chief (both cofounders who wrote a combined total of >1,000 articles & defined the voice of HD), & at least 3 other editors. These guys put in WORK since 2017, so cool to be corrected by ppl who joined in Nov 2023 [Link to mentioned vague tweet from post.] More from TayFabe: owner continuously lobbied for using ai in every possible way. No one else wanted to do it, but he kept on, saying ai was writing better satire than 25% of the HT/HD writers. Also, ai images were used on the site & socials without public disclosure or consulting the team.

The owner has responded now multiple times in a private discord... Thank you for people sharing screenshots! First Screenshot:

Kevin's Response: He banned me from the server for speaking out, so no, I didn't see it. And he gave no indication of a timeline, it was just "we'll do one when *I* say so" and gave every inclination he was totally against it. It bred an environment that pushed our hands to have to leave. Screenshot Round Two:

Kevin's Response: "Starting one in 3 months" is an absolute lie. He denied it, I have screenshots and others who can confirm. No timeline was given. Just "this is what it is now" and like, I couldn't live off of that. I wanted to do more but he was allergic to good ideas from others around him.

Matt, owner of Hard Drive, responds publicly on Twitter.

Matt: Kevin, the patreon launch was delayed because I didn't think it would work. Everyone is happy that it did work. Everyone who left the site because we didn't have money to pay for creative content which didn't revenue is welcome to return home. But unclear why the hostility.

Hard Drive paid out literally every dollar it had, then a bunch more, to creative people who worked on the site. When we ran out of money, we couldn't pay anymore. We did our best.

Kevin: Right, and my point of this thread was that it was completely and totally avoidable. This is reasonable to be upset about. How could I have been any more clear?

Matt: If we knew with 100% certainly that the community would have supported us via patreon, we would have done that. We didn't know. We had tried 4 years ago and got no support. We were wrong this time. We did our best to figure it out. We paid all the money we could.

Kevin: So you knew with 100% certainty this time? Or you took a leap of faith?

Matt: It was a last gasp panic effort after ad rates got cut in half on january 1st due to seasonal spending changes. We didn't know it would work. We were embarrassed to ask for support. We wanted to figure it out.

Kevin: Every site has a Patreon. Every YouTuber, comedy group, etc. But you insisted that nobody cared about Hard Drive. Which is wildly untrue. I know you see that now, but again, I think you can see why I and many others are pretty upset. A last ditch panic effort was long overdue. A couple more things from Matt:

It was about the size of the hole we needed plugged budget wise, the time I had left of personal resources, and the past data I had about us trying a patreon (which turned out to be a bad indicator). I didn't think the Patreon would help us fast enough. I made a bad estimation

aka "if we make $1000 more dollars a month via patreon, which would be 10x what we got last time, we will not solve any of our problems. If instead we try to plow down path B, we might make it out in time." That was the thinking. I chose the wrong path, but didn't mean to Kevin also retweeted this comment from the user Matt was responding to: So you're saying that you're bad at running the business, didn't listen to any of your employees until after they were forced to leave their jobs, and now you're going to get more of the money from the Patreon that was their idea in the first place? Matt's Response: Respectfully, I made a mistake delaying the patreon decision. But keeping a comedy site alive for 9 years is not easy, there are lots of potential ideas, and think overall we've done a good and honorable job. Will leave this thread in peace now to allow people their space.

Sorry for linking to Elon's hellsite (derogatory), but sources need links so...

#video games #patreon #hard drive #ai critical

3K notes · View notes

karinasbaby · 3 months

Text

PARK JONGSEONG — TOUCH ME, FEEL ME.

— “come here and put it on my face, it’s like you know how good you taste.”

PAIRING: ceo!jay x model fem!reader (+17)

FEATURING… heeseung, jaeyun, sunghoon & sunoo (enhypen), ningning (aespa), yeonjun (txt), nicholas (&team).

WARNINGS: my third attempt at slight fluff, reader obv works in the modelling industry, making out, unprotected sex, oral (f & m), lots of kissing and make out sessions, usage of toys, jay is in love (sickeningly), soft dom jay !! dumbification, overstimulation (I can’t remember anymore pls tell me if I missed any)

WORD COUNT. 15.6k (HUH)

SYNOPSIS: a sneak peak into the life of Seoul’s most popular CEO along with the top model of the country.

៹ — A,NOTE. this is unfortunately NOT PROOFREAD / EDITED entirely, some sections are while some aren’t so pls pls ignore all grammatical errors / typos made as im finishing this off at 6 am without sleep and will be fixing it up tmrw <3 (pls pls read a,note 2 at the end !!)

— this one’s directed to my dearest hana for being there at 4 am to simp over jay (& hee but shhh) together + all my tall engenes bcs i hear u, i see u and i feel u baby. (and all my jay girlies too)

Park jongseong is a very busy man.

Presenting himself as a busy, workaholic and paperwork obsessed man was considered the norm in his building. The unhealthy attachment jongseong had to his office— specifically to his desk was one that raised eyebrows at South Korea’s most popular Chief Executive Officer.

The Park Corp. that his father generously built a stable foundation for back when he was still a young adult navigating his way through the business industry was now passed down to his trusted son in hopes of extending their empire all over the continent.

Hence the reason as to why the phrase “Park Jongseong was destined for success” rang throughout the young ceo’s ears within every vicinity his feet graced, yet jongseong couldn’t completely wrap his head around his ‘success’

In his younger years, he believed the life of luxury and success that he lived was considered normal. That was until he pursued a degree outside of his birth country and had to settle in a small apartment— taking care of his own self without the help of any maids that he had grown accustomed to back at home.

Jongseong could still remember his father’s constant pestering to change his mind, his father could’ve bought him the university he was studying at yet jongseong insisted on an average, one bedroom apartment in a semi-safe neighbourhood for his education by using the excuse of building up his experience.

Easily, his university years became his favourite. He was allowed his first taste of the average life, the normal one. where he was given the privilege to form friendships and bonds with people whom didn’t beg for his attention while staring directly into his pockets. The first taste of his own cooked meals when he got severely sick after a random takeout from a sketchy restaurant.

His first ever friend group flourished in front of his eyes without disappearing after a few months. His two bestfriends— Park Sunghoon along with Sim Jaeyun effortlessly altered his whole point of view on life, with unexpected rendezvous to grocery stores past midnight, random road trips after finishing their mind numbing exams, unexpected deep conversations about life that took place on the floor of jongseong’s apartment and the look of genuine care and affection in sunghoon and jaeyun’s eyes, jongseong felt normalcy.

He felt protected, he felt loved. Sure he was born to very caring parents, yet at his young age, he easily was able to tell the importance of work to his father when he would randomly disappear for weeks without any warning— leading jongseong to call him usually on the fourth day of his absence to ask when he was intending on returning.

“I can’t return yet son, our next meeting with The Kim’s company is scheduled in a week.” Or some other company meeting that was considered more important than jongseong’s own need of his presence in his life by miles.

He understood his father’s side perfectly now that he was placed in his exact position, the importance of work, meetings and the worry of the small voice in the back of his head grumbling about the possibility of failure and losing decades worth of his, his father’s and his grandfather’s hard work.

Yet with the headache that was splitting his head into two separate halves the longer he stared at his papers— the sight of the letters turning into gibberish along with his wrist’s automatic turn to land his signature on the papers, he couldn’t help but think ‘was it that hard?’ surely his father could have returned back for a few hours to watch his son shape himself into the man he grew to be— to comfort him during the days where he would have difficulty at school or problems with his friend, to see him accept his diploma.

Well, his father couldn’t. While his mother on the other hand decided to surprise her son after claiming that she had to join his father on a business trip when she stood up in the middle of the crowd to clap proudly when he went atop the stage, resulting in a bewildered and shocked jongseong to shake hands with his principal who was aggressively slapping his back while jongseong was staring in disbelief into his mother’s tear filled eyes with his own misty ones.

It was safe to say that jongseong had always had a healthier relationship with his mother than his father, it was thanks to her brilliant idea to open up the first branch dedicated to fashion under The Park Corp. that jongseong’s entire life changed.

Jongseong’s mother sacrificed years of her work to raise him to the best of her ability while his dad was working day and night to hopefully see his company see the light of success, during those years his mother was the first and only person to know and acknowledge jongseong’s passion for fashion designing.

The memory of his mother praising a doodle of a dress that he had made when his age was still in singular digits was imprinted in his mind, from her approval of the colour he chose to pointing out almost unnoticeable mistakes with certain parts of the ruffles along the shoulders— his mother shaped his fashion designing skills as he improved tremendously, a fire lighting up in his heart for designing pure art.

Though this new branch under his company meant more excessive work, more sleepless nights and less breaks. Jongseong made the decision to pull one of his joker cards that he was blessed with— Sim Jaeyun.

Assigning Jaeyun as the head of the branch was undoubtedly one of the best decisions he had made, the sight of jaeyun’s shocked eyes gazing at his own serious ones as he proposed the idea to his best friend was one that he will always remember vividly,

“Are you serious?” Jaeyun breathed out, his stare so intense on jongseong’s as he tried to unravel every and each layer of his expression in search of one tinge that would confirm his suspicions of this whole proposal being an entire joke, yet he spotted none.

when the burst of laughter from jongseong never arrived, fully leaving no room for jokes while the unexpected silence from Jaeyun was beginning to concern jongseong— Jaeyun threw himself into jongseong’s arms in complete relief and appreciation.

And at jaeyun’s shaky whisper of “Thank you so much.” Into his ear, jongseong knew he made a great decision.

His love for this decision only increased day by day as his assistant was now showing him photos of the newly casted models that jaeyun had signed, some models had already contacted the agency while others were radio silent, jongseong was paying attention to every word coming out of his assistant’s mouth till his finger swiped to a picture of a girl outside of a cafe,

“Who’s this?” Jongseong questioned, his eyebrows furrowing in focus at the back profile of the woman who was facing away from the camera, “Her name is y/n, she’s yet to contact us back—“ “where did you see her?” Jongseong cut him off,

His assistant, Sunghoon raised an eyebrow as jongseong never questioned the locations he was casting his models from— hell he barely even had time to know about jaeyun casting models let alone who they are, and now he’s suddenly asking where you’re from?

“The newly opened cafe, I don’t have her email yet— “ “then find it and sent it to me.” Jongseong interrupted once again resulting in sunghoon glaring at him for cutting him off, he huffed once he noticed jongseong was reaching for his phone, clearly displaying to sunghoon his annoyance.

“Why are you suddenly inter—“ “your break’s over.” Sunghoon had to bite his tongue from saying anything back to his best friend whom he sometimes forgot was also his boss as he closed the door to jongseong’s office behind him after he walked out.

And that was the day that jongseong’s life took another shift into a positive direction, the day where he decided to increase sunghoon’s paycheck for street casting you, for spotting you and bringing you into his life.

Here was jongseong now, approximately two years after establishing one of the most successful modelling agencies in the continent under jaeyun’s control, sitting in his office chair eating the lunch you had prepared for him as your schedule was empty this morning.

“When’s your next shoot, my love?” Jongseong spoke after swallowing, lifting his head to allow the sight of you sitting giddily on his boring leather couch to grace his eyes, you were always glowing in his office, casting a beautiful ray of light to the dull and lifeless space of his.

Especially now that you were wearing one of his own designs, a cute skirt paired with a cropped blazer, your hair styled prettily as you sat and fiddled with your fingers in excitement, “it’s at seven, are you going to visit me then?” You asked.

Even if you had attempted to hide your expectant tone of seeing him at your photoshoot and supporting you from behind the camera, jongseong easily detected it, he studied and observed everything about you.

“Of course I will, angel.” He replied, hands busy with reaching for a tissue as he finished his food, his eyes instantly falling back onto his paperwork before trailing back on you, “what time is it now?” You quickly checked your wrist watch “it’s two thirty,” he hummed at your response, “we should get going then.” He spoke out.

“But your meeting—“ “I’ll tell sunghoon to clear my schedule today, angel.” He ended before standing up, his figure tall in front of the sunlight in his office, he quickly reached behind for his blazer, the sunlight illuminating all of his veins and muscles as they flexed according to his movements, you totally weren’t distracted.

Once he coolly threw his jacket atop his shoulders, he walked towards you on the couch, “isn’t it too early? I mean we still have around four hours.” He pushed his glasses up his nose bridge as he looked downwards to meet your eyes, “I know, can’t I spend some time with my girlfriend before her photoshoot?” He smiled before reaching to take your hand.

You both step out of his office, your heels echoing throughout the halls of the floor while jongseong wrapped a protective arm around your waist guiding you towards the elevator.

You didn’t notice, but the sound of your heels had attracted some looks from jongseong’s workers, specifically from the newly hired employee that was on his first week of work, in jongseong’s peripheral vision he saw the movement of the new guy, very obviously swivelling his chair to get a good look while his coworker snickered at his gawking eyes, jongseong instantly recognised the agitating laughter— fucking yeonjun.

His laughter was instantly silenced when jongseong turned his head, he heard the screeching sounds of multiple chairs returning hastily to their original positions before he even fully turned, and with one sharp glare in yeonjun and the new employee’s direction, jongseong made a note to transfer both of them to a different department, as it wasn’t the first time yeonjun eyed his woman.

And he for sure wasn’t about to have another yeonjun around his office.

With a quick text to sunghoon, jongseong reached towards the wall next to the elevator, pressing the button before he returned his arm around your body, purposefully lowering his hand to your hip as he pulled you closer, “jong, your employees will see..” you whispered, aware of the fact that jongseong wasn’t the most comfortable when it came to publicly showing you affection. “Let them see.” He whispered back, pressing a gentle kiss to your temple.

Jongseong relished in the quiet gasps behind him along with the slight blush dusting your cheeks before the elevator dinged and he quickly pulled you inside with him.

He kept his arm secured around you till you reached the ground floor of his building, his hand then dropped to interlock with yours as both of you stepped outside of the gates, jongseong reached his other hand inside of his pocket once he neared his car, pulling out the keys to hand over to his bodyguard before he opened the back seat door for you.

It wasn’t common for jongseong to not drive his car, mainly handing over his keys on days where he felt exhausted or had begrudgingly drunk alcohol, yet before you could question his reasoning for today, he leaned forward towards your ear as you were entering the car, “I’ve missed you so bad, angel.” He whispered.

His low tone sent shivers done your spine, suddenly his touch felt like fire when his fingertips brushed against your skirt as you were sitting down, he quickly walked to the other side of the car before he sat down atop the leather seats next to you,

“Where to, sir?” His guard, Nicholas asked whilst he had his eyes glued on the road, “Home, and roll up the partition” his hands were itching to reach out and to touch you, to hold you as his black pants had started to feel tighter than usual,

After his reply to Nicholas, Jongseong couldn’t wait any further, his hand reached up to loosen the black tie around his neck, fingers quickly moving to unbutton his shirt slightly, allowing his tan chest to be exposed to the golden sunlight.

The sight of Jongseong brushing his hand through his black locks as he turned his body towards you made your heart thump loudly in your chest, his breathes turning heavy while his arms moved towards you, wrapping around your waist before pulling you closer to him,

His lips found home on the skin of your neck, placing soft and long kisses while goosebumps arose on your skin under his touch, you felt yourself becoming lightheaded once he began to suck gently, leaving behind faint marks of his love on you.

“Jong…” you breathed out heavily, eyelids closed tight as you basked in the feeling of his touch all over you, “shhh, I’ve got you baby.” His kisses trailed upwards, aligning across your jawline as they turned into mouth opened kisses, jay’s hands slipped onto your exposed thighs, gently caressing your skin beneath his fingers while he groaned against your neck,

“Let me please you, Jong. Please,” you whispered in his hold, the desperate tone in your low voice made him feel lightheaded, even if jongseong had different plans of him pleasing you, he didn’t have the heart to decline your sweet offer, not when you were looking at him with your twinkling eyes, eager to please him and to love him.

He nodded his head in approval, not quite trusting his voice after feeling the small lump in his throat when you instantly lowered yourself in whatever empty space that was available in his car, your knees resting against the floor while your hands were running up and down his thighs, caressing his flexing muscles before they moved upwards to wrap around his belt.

Once your hands had discarded his belt, he lifted his hips slightly to aid you with finally freeing his throbbing length that stood tall against his lower stomach, a small and shiny dribble of his precum trailing down from his aching red tip with the veins along his underside becoming more prominent, the sight was enough to make your mouth water.

“There you go, angel.” He breathed out in relief as he would have exploded had he stayed another second inside the infuriating tightening of his pants, “come on angel girl, touch me.” The encouraging tone in his voice made you instantly move, your hand wrapping around his aching member while the other rested against his warm thigh, casting goosebumps along his skin.

Jongseong felt his throat dry up once you blew cold air teasingly on his tip, and before he could process, you quickly wrapped your plump and glossy lips around the head of his length, the warmth of your mouth and your tongue instantly circling around him was enough to have him feel as if he was melting against the leather seats.

“Fuck..” he breathed out, eyes closing shut as the pleasure ran through his veins the further you moved, circling your tongue around his aching length before sucking more of him down your throat, the slight tightening making shivers trail along his body.

He felt slight goosebumps forming all over him once your nails began to softly scratch his thighs before your hands gently caressed his skin, you moved your head up and down, each movement drawing out a longer sigh of his heaving chest, jongseong could feel the familiar tightening in his lower abdomen, his release gradually building up the further your spit trailed down his base and pooled around his inner thighs,

Jongseong’s hands reached towards yours that rested against his thighs, he quickly interlocked his fingers with yours, gently squeezing your hand to indicate the approach of his climax, you hummed around him making his hips jerk forward at the sudden vibration,

He whispered your name in heavy breathes, attempting his best to stay quiet in the moving vehicle, yet it seemed impossible now that you started to push him down further, your nose inching closer to his pelvis once you began to deepthroat his cock, jongseong’s legs began to twitch under your interlocked hands while low moans escaped his throat, ones he desperately tried to suppress.

And with a few movements of your head, jongseong finally allowed the euphoria of his release to wash down his body in waves, one more intense than the other as his eyes rolled back in pleasure, shaky moans of your name rolling off his tongue while his hands tightened around yours, thick ropes of his release shooting down your throat yet you didn’t let go of him yet, aiding him in riding out his high once you began to move up and down again, swallowing what he had to offer while his swollen tip was hitting the back of your throat, pleasantly overstimulating him.

“angel— please.. s-stop..” He stuttered out in shaky breathes, begging you to stop yet his hands still tightened around yours, you moaned lowly at his salty flavour on your tongue once you moved upwards, kissing and suckling on his leaking tip as he coated your tongue and your throat in his taste.

And once his legs and hips began to twitch uncontrollably, you pulled yourself away from him, jongseong opened his eyes to a sight that will knock his breath out of his lungs, if only you knew you heavenly you looked with your eyes teary, cheeks flushed red and your lips swollen, coated with a sheen layer of his cum as you looked up at him with your twinkling gaze, breathing heavily while you gently wiped away at the milky white droplet at the corner of your mouth, bringing it to your tongue.

Jongseong was fighting every voice and urge in his head to not pull you into his lap and make love to you in the backseat of his car, he knew Nicholas was a mere four minutes away from arriving at your house, yet the way your eyes were practically eating him up were making all his rational thoughts disappear from his head one by one,

“You did so well for me, baby.” He praised before pulling you upwards, his hands finding home around your waist as he placed you next to him in the backseat, his lips easily finding your neck to trail his love filled kisses across your skin, “jongseong..” you whispered once your eyes caught the familiar scenery from the window, Nicholas had basically arrived at your house.

Your hands quickly pulled his away from around you, trailing down to help him in wearing his clothes in worry of Nicholas suddenly lowering the partition to announce your arrival, jongseong chuckled as he quickly fixed his belt before gently grabbing onto your neck to pull you closer once again, you placed a feathery kiss on his lips, “we can continue this at home, baby.” And at your words, jongseong nodded with his lovesick eyes glued to your every move.

You also might’ve been a little late to your photoshoot.

Jongseong was yet again, swivelling in his office chair while biting back toothy smiles as a random employee along with sunghoon were discussing the placement of a new coffee machine since the older one stops working every now and then.

Their voices completely distorted for jongseong who kept swiping between photos on his phone, his feet finally planted on the ground to stop the movement of his chair, the back of the large chair hiding away his eyes that were twinkling in amusement from both men in his room.

His fingers stopped as the video of your latest appearance on the runway finally loaded, jongseong fixed his posture, sitting upright while his grip on his phone tightened, he felt his heart racing in the familiar rhythm that only you were able to generate, the tip of his fingers buzzing, his leg shaking up and down in excitement at the sight of you walking down in the video.

The video filmed by one of his designers, showcasing you from a perfect angle, the styling of your hair, the dress that he had sketched himself on one blessed night with you sleeping soundly next to him was now hugging all of your curves perfectly, the same heels he had suggested your stylist Yizhuo now clicking against the runway floor.

Jongseong’s eyes were stuck on you, suddenly all the other models that were walking past you or walking after you were blurred from his sight, he could only see you wrapped up in his designs as you made your way to the front of the runway, your eyes shining with confidence while you glowed in radiance, your aura fierce and sharp.

He took notice of the way most of the guests’ heads followed your body, some too busy talking with whoever was besides them about your appearance while others stared with their mouths slightly open, if only you knew the power and beauty you radiated.

And once you had reached the front, all focus on you with the camera desperately attempting to capture all of your angles, you blew a kiss to the camera along with a quick wink shooting a very quick arrow into your lover’s chest and countless other people before smiling charmingly and turning around.

Jongseong was holding back multiple groans and sighs back as he held his chest, his heart racing rapidly while his face got warmer, he forced himself to continue watching the video, to watch the way you swayed your hips while the dress fluttered around your legs, multiple heads turning to face the direction your were walking back to.

Jongseong felt heat spread all over his body, heart thundering against his ribs as he attempted to suppress a wide smile from spreading across his blushing face, jongseong was now replaying the video, his eyes memorising your every move as you strutted with countless pairs of eyes following your movements.

And at your sweet smile, jongseong remembered the memory of his first meeting with you, he had tagged along with sunghoon who was called by jaeyun for your first photoshoot, the ‘newly casted models’ photoshoot, jaeyun knew he had to get the opinions of both his best friends and his own boss.

Multiple bodies moved throughout the dressing room, the voices of many stylists layering upon eachother as they discussed certain aspects of their models’ look with said model or they ordered their assistants to collect certain items for them,

Various shapes and sounds were echoing in the room from the sound of heels being tested and worn to the clacking sounds of palettes being closed or open, jongseong’s eyes caught sunghoon who was lost in a conversation with one of their main photographers— Heeseung, the tall man was sporting a boyish smile on his face as he joked with sunghoon, a large camera dangling from around his neck below his necklaces.

Jongseong’s head then turned to spot Jaeyun with his assistant sunoo, Jaeyun listing down the props and equipment needed for the shoot while sunoo was jotting down each word in his notebook, nodding along to jaeyun’s focused tone as his eyes travelled all over the set, the first photoshoot always had to be perfect.

Hushed whispers and giggles surrounded jongseong once he finally took notice of the multiple models staring at him, quickly averting their gazes while their hands covered the blushing lower half of their faces, their body language giving them away instantly as one was now playing with her hair while the other returned her gaze to him, sending countless signals of her interest in the young ceo that he paid no mind to.

Jongseong believed that he didn’t have any time for love, with no intentions of finding a lover and starting his own family, especially not when the possibility of him neglecting his own family whether it was intentional or not weighed heavily on his shoulders, he didn’t want to repeat his history.

He believed that as long as his heart remained unclaimed, entertaining himself with a few one night stands and hookups here and there from when his stress would get the best of him or his sexual frustration entirely takes over his body, he was good to go.

Yet jongseong couldn’t really keep lying to himself, he yearned for someone to love and appreciate him, to see and hear him for himself, Park Jongseong, and not ceo Jay Park.

He had given up on such love a long time ago, the hope in his heart ripping apart the longer his dates consisted of questions about his family, his business and his work life. His dates rarely ever asking him about his own interests, how his childhood had been like and what sorts of hobbies he had picked up.

Jongseong’s expectancy for someone to hopefully ask him about his fashion designing career so he could finally talk about his mother’s abilities to shape his skills were quickly dissipating.

Wishing for the day he’ll be able to talk about his hidden talent of music, his rare guitar collection and his countless lyric-filled notebooks with someone who gazed at him with love and interest, with pure curiosity in his hobbies and passions.

And so after countless failed dates filled with short and bitter replies of his work, jongseong fully lost hope, opting to live a single life with an empty space occupying his heart.

Jongseong was never a religious man.

Yet he desperately attempted to understand why the deities above struggled and refused to give him someone whom he could cherish and love, he swore he had enough love to give.

He had finally decided to ‘trust the process’ just as his mother had told him whenever discussions of his concerningly empty love life were brought up during their spontaneous lunches and dinners together, ultimately cutting his random dates spree short and waiting patiently for his person to hopefully walk into his life.. maybe?

And thank god he had decided to trust the process, he thanked all deities above and his mother at the memory of you making your first eye contact with him through the mirror of your table with you sitting, fidgeting nervously with your fingers as your anxiety was eating you up alive, your stylist and makeup artist Yizhuo hovering next to you as she was expertly applying your foundation while attempting to calm your nerves down.

In the middle of answering Yizhuo’s distracting question about your favourite serum— your sight had caught a dark brown pair of eyes, ones that gazed into yours deeply, your heart skipped a beat at the unknown man’s gaze that weirdly managed to calm you down for the first time in the past few hours, quickly studying his perfectly sculpted face, you concluded that maybe he’s another model who’s been casted, not recognising the ceo of your own agency.

Yizhuo had caught on your silence, her eyes quickly darting to your own ones that were stuck on the mirror, following your line of vision, she also made eye contact with jongseong, who quickly averted his gaze as he choked on his own spit in embarrassment.

He quickly covered it up with a cough, Yizhuo however was now looking back at you with her eyes wide. “What is he even doing here?” She whispered in bewilderment, a smile creeping up her lips at the fact that she had caught jongseong— her cold hearted ceo who hadn’t looked in woman’s way in a few years now, staring at you.

“Is he not supposed to be here?” You whispered back, eyebrows furrowing in confusion as you looked back at the man, once again catching his gaze, this time you were able to point out the slight, almost unnoticeable redness that coated his ears, was he blushing?

But god he was so beautiful, his sharp eyes were practically drinking you up, his nose bridge high as it became dusted with a pretty rose, way prettier than the multitude blushes you had infront of you on the table and his glossy, pink lips looked so inviting.

“He never comes here..” Yizhuo points out, her focus now shifting to locating her favourite pressed powder— well, before her hand smacked your shoulder, “Why are you two staring at each other again?!” She whisper yelled, paying no mind to your low hiss at the spreading pain around your arm, your eye contact with the godly man was cut short with yizhuo’s continuous whispers of excitement.

“How am I supposed to know! He’s the one that keeps looking back.” You whispered, your voice clearly reflecting your flustered state as it got higher with every word, “Do you think he’s cute?” She asked you, awaiting your answer with a million thoughts rushing through her head, with the main one being ‘was this it?’

“He’s breathtaking, Yizhuo.” You replied, an incredulous expression on your face at her stupid question. Unbeknownst to you, jongseong was still watching the interaction between you and your stylist, he also might have heard your exchanged whisper yells but he couldn’t bring himself to care as his attention was on calming his heart down from bursting.

Jongseong instantly recognised you from your portfolio, your beauty in real life easily captivating him and caging his heart in a way he could have only dreamed of, he made sure to send his mother additional bouquets with the weekly ones he sends her this time, because the moment he saw you quickly flash him a smile when Yizhuo turned around followed by a small, shy wave— he knew he made the right decision with ‘trusting the process.’

“Do you even know the amount of calls jaeyun has redirected to me just this past hour, jongseong?” Sunghoon’s irritated voice brought jongseong back to the present, his lovesick gaze focusing on his phone screen again, the video of you walking down the runway on loop in front of him, showing him a complete contrast from your first nervewrecking photoshoot to now, your first runway.

Words could not fully explain the pride he felt blooming in his chest, he felt so so proud of you for standing with power and manifesting all of your dreams into your reality one by one, having the privilege of listening to all your worries and thoughts about your career, jongseong felt honoured that you trusted him enough to let him see you in your lowest moments, and allowing him to cradle you safely in his arms to comfort you, assuring you that you’ll work out.

Now seeing all of your highest moments made him feel incredibly proud of you.

“And here comes another one.” Sunghoon sighed loudly in hopes of catching his boss’ attention, jongseong cleared his throat before locking his phone, turning his chair back to face sunghoon, he assumed the employee from earlier had taken his leave and left a very upset and irritated sunghoon in his office.

“What calls are you getting redirected from jaeyun?” Jongseong questioned, pushing himself back into his work mindset before he began fangirling in the middle of his office, he could delay his giggles and smiles till he’s back at home because at this current moment he wanted to figure out what exactly had managed his assistant to carry a sour expression on his face.

“Different agencies and brands asking for our models portfolios and other shit— just to somehow secure a contract with them,” he sighed in frustration while declining another unknown number before rubbing his hands all over his face as he felt a slight headache forming, “half of Korea’s agencies have called since the show ended, almost all of them asking for one specific model’s contact information.” He continued, jongseong’s eyes raised at the sudden popularity of a model under his agency,

Sunghoon was never one to exaggerate his words, nor would he get this frustrated and annoyed over phone calls, opting for an indifferent expression and cool tone when dealing with his work, it was difficult to throw him off his balance, whatever model was causing this chaos in jongseong’s agency by now had him sitting on the edge of his seat.

Jongseong thought of all the possible models who had gained immense popularity today due to it being his agency’s first runway show presented by Jaeyun along with his top designer and stylist Yizhuo— both very famous and impactful names in the fashion industry.

Could it be?—

“And as expected, it had to be y/n.” Jongseong had never felt his eyes snap open so widely, his mouth slightly agape as he stared at sunghoon who was standing right in front of his desk with his hands placed on his hips, clearly trying to emphasise his annoyance at jaeyun’s constant redirecting of phone calls.

“Y/n? As in my y/n, correct?” Attempting to make sure that his ears weren’t suddenly playing with him and at sunghoon’s nod of confirmation he knew to not doubt his ears again.

Jongseong couldn’t help the wide smile that spread across his face, sunghoon’s own annoyed act completely dropped at the view of his ceo grinning so genuinely for the first time in months.

The sight of jongseong— who usually carried a cold and stoic expression on his face breaking out of his ‘icy cold ceo’ shell and chuckling once his eyes landed on the framed photo atop his table of his beloved girlfriend was enough to make sunghoon smile himself.

He looked like a kid whose parent just bought him his favourite candy, a kid on the morning of Christmas bubbling with excitement, a pretty shimmer in his usually dark eyes that made warmth spread across the young assistant’s body.

“That’s good.. that’s really good. I’m sure she’s going to be happy at all the offers she got.” He replied, very obviously biting his lower lip to calm himself down and fight back yet another dumb grin from his assistant who was now staring at him in amusement as his boss tried to hide his flustered state,

“Your ears are red, you know…” sunghoon couldn’t help but point out the rare sight of jongseong’s ears reddening, he expected his boss’ face to deadpan, his smile to drop when he pointed out his flustered state, yet sunghoon was surprised again when jongseong literally giggled.

“Did you just-“ “shut the fuck up.” The ceo gritted out, clearing his throat to ultimately channel his work mode yet again, he lifted his gaze up to sunghoon’s smiling face before he rolled his eyes.

“Send me a list of all the agencies that called you today, hoon.” He quickly said, his hands reaching towards his leftover paper on his desk, opting to distract himself from the desperate need of seeing you and showering you with all his love for your success today, awarding you to the best of his ability for doing amazing on your first runway.

“Noted. Before I leave boss, I wanted to ask you about an event,” sunghoon’s own business mode switched on, his hands reaching towards his bag that he had placed on jongseong’s sofa upon his arrival to pull out his tablet, fingers quickly swiping across his screen to reach the photos of said event,

“I’m not sure if you have made the decision to attend yet, but y/n has been nominated for model of the year.” He started, his words once again resulting in a surprised jongseong, yet this time the boss had attempted his best to conceal his expressions, knowing how vital and important this certain award event could be for your career.

“The voting for the award has been online, and so far y/n has taken the lead with a gap as big as sixty thousand votes. Her winning the award is guaranteed by a hundered percent, Boss.” Sunghoon finished off, turning his tablet to show jongseong the voting results till now, and he could see your name very clearly on the top of the list, exactly where you belong.

“We’ll attend.”

And after countless, draining meetings, multiple coffee cups brought in by sunghoon to keep his boss awake, a multitude of disagreements and bickering from his assistant followed by whispers of his name around his building, said whispers mainly being questions about his relationship along with his personal life, jongseong finally breathed his first sigh of relief after a plethora of frustrated ones once his feet stepped inside of his shared house with his lover.

Jongseong could feel his frustration and stress leaving his body with every step he took, his steps heavy on your wooden floor that creaked quietly with his movements, each and every work related thought slowly dissolving from his mind to whispers that were pushed into the corners of his brain, he only had his focus and attention set on one goal, and it was to see you, to hold you, to finally shower you with his love and praise.

His feet ached atop the fluffy carpet in your room once he entered, hands reaching upwards to loosen the tie around his neck, blazer long forgotten in the backseat of his car as his eyes spotted your sleeping figure on the bed, his large shirt hugging your frame from beneath the blanket that was carelessly discarded on your body, indicating you being lost in a deep slumber.

Jongseong’s heart swelled at the comforting sight that he used to wish and hope for, the sight of his lover asleep on his bed clad in his clothing, head resting on his pillow with her nose nuzzling into the fabric that carried his soothing scent, the sight of his bed not empty.

If only you knew the amount of love your dear jongseong carried for you in his body, his love that knew no peak and only kept increasing day by day in a comforting manner, he knew his love for you held no limits as it took completely over his body at the mere thought of you.

The warmth that will spread across his chest, his ears slightly ringing while his eyes became unfocused, his fingers fidgeting with one another at the rush of emotions in his body like a teenage boy obsessing over his crush, all this over the mere mention or thought of you.

The effect you had on jongseong was one you weren’t completely aware of, it was one that sometimes worried jongseong, especially during the times where you were busy with your own work, he was brought back into a reality that didn’t have you by his side at specific moments, which resulted sometimes in a quite grumpy and needy jongseong.

One that desperately craved and yearned for your love and affection, both heart and body yearning for you with the warmth now spreading from the top of his head to his toes, the warmth that bloomed from deep within his chest, the temperature of his body increasing the more his steps brought him closer to your figure on his bed.

His body sat on the bed before he could stop himself, the worried thought of accidentally waking you up quickly disappearing when you only nuzzled closer to his pillow, a soft and content sigh falling from between your lips.

Jongseong’s hand had a mind of its own, he couldn’t stop his body from reaching out to touch you after a long, draining and exhausting day. His heart drumming when you leaned into his hand that caressed your cheek gently.

His lips had garnered their own mind as well since he was now whispering your name lovingly into the night, into the darkness of your room in hopes of finally having your sparkling eyes to open and land on him, and with repeated calls of your name with his hot breath right against your ear made your eyelids flutter open.

“Jongie..?” You called out for him, voice barely above a whisper as your eyes adjusted to the lack of light, you could make out your lover’s figure on the bed next to you, the familiar feeling of his skin against yours that brought you an immense amount of comfort, you could also hear his small chuckle at your sleepy voice,

“It’s me, my love.” He cooed. voice deep and tender, lips lifting to a lovesick smile that you weren’t able to see while he gazed at the way your hands released his pillow to wrap around his wrist, your warm skin contrasting his own cold one making shivers run down both of your spines, “welcome home,” you whispered, kissing the palm of his hand that was caressing your jaw, in blissful unawareness of the multiple beats jongseong’s heart had skipped.

“You did so amazing today, angel girl.” His body moved on the bed, coming up closer to yours as he hovered above you, his hands never once lifting an inch from your skin while you chuckled at his words, warmth spreading on your cheeks at his praise, you’d been waiting his reaction since the morning.

“I’ve been thinking about you the whole day, baby.” He whispered into your neck, his hands by now had trailed lower and lower, reaching the hem of his shirt, he toyed with the fabric. you hummed along to his words, closing your eyes to relish in the feeling of him so close to you, the heat of his body travelling onto yours pleasantly.

“What were you thinking about with me?” Keeping your tone hushed, your fingertips were trailing along his clothed arm, his muscles flexing lightly under your feathery touch, jongseong could already feel his pants becoming unbearably tighter, suffocating him even further at your low voice.

“Just how bad I wanted to come back home…” his hands finally dipped beneath your shirt, “how bad I wanted to come to you..” goosebumps appeared on your body as his icy fingertips brushed against your warm waist, “how bad I wanted to please you..” a soft gasp tumbled past your lips when his hand fondled with your breast, easily accessing your skin with no restrictions of a bra, “to praise you..” his eyes were glued onto your beautiful face, focusing on every expression you made from his slight movements.

His hands now moved downwards making you involuntarily spread your legs for him, his words and closeness casting a spell on you, “to make love to you..” he rested his palm against your core, your flimsy underwear doing a terrible job in hiding your wetness as jongseong’s breath hitched once he felt your warmth coating his palm completely while you whimpered under him.

“Baby, i need you to sit on my face right now.” he spoke against your neck, placing a quick kiss before pulling away from you after you nodded at his words, jongseong’s hands moved fast in a blur, unbuttoning his shirt and practically ripping it off his body, his hands then reached out to you, guiding you to balance on your knees while he pushed himself to lay on the bed beneath you.

“Just like that, angel girl.” Countless praises rolled off his tongue once you placed both of your thighs next to his head that rested against his pillow, you felt your face burn at the position, your breathes shortening when you looked below you to the sight of jongseong’s eyes darkening by the second, you attempted your best to hold onto the headboard, stabilising yourself as your mind felt like it was melting away once you felt his hot breath against your cunt.

“Fuck..” you softly whispered at the heat spreading along your body, your legs twitching next to his head when you felt your own wetness dripping down your inner thighs, jongseong took his sweet time in reaching to push your soaked panties to the side, his eyes almost rolling to the back of his head at the sight of your cunt glistening and aching for him.

He wasted no time in almost devouring your entire cunt, the tip of his tongue teasing against your sopping entrance only pulling away to circle your throbbing clit, sucking gently as he hummed at your sweet taste slowly coating his tongue, you mewled his name while your knuckles turned white around the headboard.

Pleasure coursed throughout your body in countless waves, one hitting harder than the other as jongseong noisily lapped and licked all of your juices, his arms pulling your thighs lower to his face.

You felt tears prickling at the corner of your eyes when he finally pushed his tongue in your gummy walls, thrusting in slowly to savour the feeling of your nectar covering the lower half of his face, your head was thrown back as your body shook in his hold when his nose nudged against your clit perfectly.

“Come on, love.” He quickly spoke under you before returning his tongue inside of you, low moans and whimpers of his name fell past your lips, each shuddered breath going straight to his aching cock that twitched beneath his clothing while his hips jerked and spasmed uncontrollably, desperate for any sort of friction yet jongseong paid no mind to his own need, completely thrown into a trance by your flavour and the heavenly sight of you atop of him.

“I’m close, baby” you breathed out, the knot in your lower stomach tightening with the gradual building of your release, “use me, angel.” He grunted, one of his arms now wrapped around your waist, his nails slightly digging into your skin while his other hand kept your twitching hips in place.

“Please use me, I need you to use me, cum all over my face.” He nearly whimpered, tongue messily slipping in and out of you before he pulled away to suckle on your aching clit, his words bewitching you entirely, your body leaned against the headboard when you felt your head spinning, mere seconds away from toppling into your climax the longer he continued eating and lapping you up so sloppily and loudly.

Jongseong was thrusting into the blanket at this point, his own release building up just by eating you out, the room felt ridiculously hot, you felt droplets of sweat aligning your hairline while jongseong could feel the droplets rolling down the back of his neck onto his pillowcase, his breaths heavy and hot as he refused to detach himself from you longer than a few seconds.

Your mind by now was completely whirling, jongseong’s continuous humming while you gushed all over his tongue was driving you to insanity, and you made the mistake of lowering your head to lock eyes with his needy ones.

A quiet gasp slipped out of you at the sight of him, sweet eyes already gazing at yours in love, his face glistening in a sheen layer of sweat, his black locks sticking onto his temples while tinier droplets rolled throughout his undercut, cheeks flushed a pretty rose colour while his eyebrows were furrowed in concentration.

Your hips began to involuntarily roll against him, the coil tightening further and further, you felt tears escape your eyes at the pleasure, suddenly jongseong pulled one of his hands away, his lips detaching from your core as his fingers inched towards your entrance, he carefully slipped two fingers in, both of you groaning in pleasure at the satisfying stretch.

You continued your movements, jongseong began to help you in riding his fingers, guiding your hips with his other hand while he stared at the sight above him, he noticed your every twitch, every shaky breath escaping your chest, every time your teeth grazed your lips to quieten your moans.

“Just like that, angel girl. Come on, give it to me.” He praised, eyes half lidded as he returned to suckling on your clit, adding a third finger in once your slick began to run down his palm and trail along his wrist, his thrusts quickened the whinier your moans turned, lips still wrapped around your clit while his tongue toyed with it.

“Fuck— I’m so fucking close!” You mewled with your back arching, nails digging into the wood beneath them once your legs began to shake, “cum for me, pretty girl.” He mumbled, his own body ablaze as he felt his own release mere seconds away.

And once jongseong pressed his fingertips directly onto one of your sweet spots all the while licking at your nub, you felt the dizzying sensation of pure ecstasy washing over you, broken moans tumbling out of your mouth while your eyes rolled to the back of your head, the sight of your climax washing over you to beautifully easily triggered jongseong’s own orgasm, and before he knew it he was already making a mess inside of his boxers at the sight of your moaning and shaking body whimpering out his name.

“Fuck yes baby, there you go. Cum for me,” his praises barely reached your ears as all you could hear was the familiar ringing after a mindblowing release, your eyes still closed while jongseong helped you in riding out your orgasm, slowly beginning to overstimulate you.

One of your hands reached down to hold onto his shoulder, in hopes of giving him the sign to stop yet jongseong was still lapping up all of your wetness with his eyes closed, humming in delight while licking all along your entrance, his fingers slowly came to a stop deep inside of you while his sucking dissolved into soft kisses against your cunt,

“Did so well for me,” he said with soft kiss on your clit, “my perfect angel girl.” kiss, “so so good for me,” tears were veiling your vision once again at his gentlest touches yet you didn’t have the heart to pull away, not when he felt so good.

“I love you so, so much.” And he finished off with a final kiss, carefully pulling out fingers that were covered with your slick, he quickly cleaned them up by pushing them into his mouth, eyes closing once again at your taste before he opened them again to find your own gazing at him tiredly, you were glowing above him.

His arm tried to tug you down, in hopes of you laying down next to him but you quickly stopped him, “jong, let me please you too.” You spoke quietly, throat feeling dry and scratchy before jongseong chuckled, “about that…” he smiled.

You focused on his face in the darkness to see the outline of a cheeky smile on his face, jongseong was quite thankful now for the lack of lighting in the room because his face felt like it was lit ablaze, “you don’t really have to do anything baby..” he spoke, voice becoming lower with every word, his words confused you, what?

Your eyes widened at the thought of him— no. You quickly turned around to the sight of a weirdly obvious and glistening wet patch on the middle of his pants, “jong.. did you really cum just from eating me out?” You asked, eyes still on the wet patch while jongseong rubbed his legs together in discomfort and embarrassment, “baby you don’t understand how amazing it is to eat you out..” he defended himself, voice questionably higher by a pitch as his blush deepened.

Not wanting to tease him further you turned to face him, pulling yourself away from him to lay besides your lover, quickly placing a soft kiss to his blushing cheek before chuckling, “okay baby, wanna join me in the shower?” You asked, voice already laced with exhaustion and fatigue, yet all those feelings dissipated when jongseong pushed his lips against yours, smiling into the kiss in response to your proposal,

“I’m gonna tease you about this later though.”

He stood outside of his car, parked infront of his building, the cold air sent slight shivers throughout his body, resulting in him tugging his blazer closer to himself, he could spot the multiple cars belonging to reporters on the other side of the street, eager to get any sort of photo of korea’s most popular couple, you and jongseong.

Countless other cars had parked next to his, the models that were signed under his company walking out one by one, some respectfully greeting him as they walked towards their respective cars while others shamelessly checked him out or winked at him, fully aware of his relationship.

Jongseong paid no mind to all the other women who were desperate to get his attention, he was too occupied and busy wondering about your outfit, the award seasons approaching also meant multiple runway events taking place— which also meant that your schedule was packed, jongseong was deprived of you terribly.

Specifically today, his hands itched to throw his keys to Nicholas and walk inside the building to see and hold you again as he wasn’t able to see you for the past few days, only able to feel the comfort of your body next to him when you were already sleeping by the time he had arrived.

Your morning fittings proved to be another disadvantage, as jongseong had been waking up these past few mornings to an empty bed, your absence greatly affecting his mornings when you weren’t there to hand him his coffee mug, his mornings without your sweet voice talking to him absolutely sucked.

The longer the days became without seeing you in his office with multiple declines to his ‘wanna visit me in my office?’ The heavier his days weighed on his heart, he turned away from the entrance of the building, in an internal battle with himself.

He physically couldn’t wait to see you again and relish in the familiar warmth of your skin against his— fuck it he’s going to see you right now, who would dare stop their own ceo from entering his own bu—

“Jongie!” And there it was, the same voice that his ear converted into sweet melodies that rung throughout his mind, jongseong couldn’t help the wide smile that spread along his face while his back was still facing you, heart fluttering in his chest from the mere sound of your voice.

He could hear your breath fanning the back of his neck as you had walked closer to him with heels clicking against the floor, he could hear your breath shaking from excitement, your hands reaching to hold his own in happiness of finally seeing him.

And when jongseong finally turned around he physically felt all the air getting knocked out of his lungs, suddenly the world began to rotate slower around him, all the other figures passing by both of you became blurred, your giggle at his smitten expression echoed in his ear, gosh you were so breathtaking.

The dress that he had spent months designing with the occasional help from jaeyun was now hugging your body beautifully, all the sleepless nights of erasing and redrawing all the sketches were all proved to be worth it now.

His smile deepened, widening enough to turn his eyes into crescents as he gazed at you with pure love and adoration, his hands interlocking with yours and he used it to his advantage by pulling you towards him further, his breath brushing against your neck and cheeks, “you look stunning.” He whispered only for your ears to hear.

Jongseong could feel his heart rate gradually picking up with the way your smile widened, eyes shining as you looked up at him, “thank you,” you whispered back, gaze dropping quickly to his own outfit, clad in black pants along with a white satin button up with his logo embroidered atop his chest followed by a dashing blazer, “you look handsome.”

Jongseong couldn’t really help the small giggle that escaped his throat, his fingers tightening around yours as you both broke into an adorable fit of chuckles, paying no mind to the people passing by both of you nor the cameras recording you both from meters away, and surely not to the multiple employees that were by now watching the interaction unfolding from the glass windows with their jaws wide open,

“Are you ready, my love?” Jongseong smiled, hand already softly tugging you towards him as he turned to face the car, “I’m always ready,”

The drive to the venue was relatively quiet, with you asking jongseong a few questions about the reporters and the awards in a hushed tone filling up the air followed by jongseong’s own answers and random jokes to ease the tension he could clearly notice in your shoulders, he knew you were nervous and he was too, was he going to make it obvious to you though? Of course not.

“You think they’ll have food prepared?” You finally whispered the question that’s been plaguing your mind for the past few hours as you hadn’t had the chance to really eat anything with your day being filled with random fittings and sitting down in front of Yizhuo for hours as she did your makeup.

“I hope they do.” Jongseong replied, a smile gracing his face before he turned around to your worried expression, “and if they don’t, you know I’ll make something for you.” He quickly added, shoulder nudging yours in hopes of seeing you smile, his grin widened when you finally did.

Once the car came to a halt and you both stepped outside of the vehicle, jongseong’s hand quickly interlocked with yours amidst all the flashes of the multiple cameras pointing towards you, the sounds of the clicks resonating in your ear as jongseong swiftly walked inside of the venue all the while his hand gently tucked yours towards him to keep you safe,

The yells and calls of both of your names along with questions about your lives and works being shouted here and there quickly quietened when you walked deeper inside the venue, your lover turning around once you reached a deeper spot with less people around to check on you, concerned eyes roaming your body to detect any sort of injury or problem, “you’re okay, angel?” He asked.

You quickly nodded to his words, feeling nothing but excitement running throughout your body as you took in the interior of the venue, packed with famous models and designers from all across the world, the names echoing around you in real life being ones that you’ve only heard on television or read about in the internet, everything around you felt surreal.

Jongseong smiled at the amusement twinkling in your eyes, taking notice your hands that were shaking with nerves and excitement, on instinct he took your hands into his and pressed a loving kiss on the back of each one, successfully returning your attention on him and making you blush as he smiled at you once more, “let’s go, baby”

Both of you walked deeper inside the venue, passing by the red carpet to myraid pairs of eyes following each and every one of your movements, numerous heads being turned in your direction once you and the young ceo became the center of attention, jongseong could practically feel the burning gaze of multiple designers, male models and reporters scorch through his suit.

He could easily pick out the difference between pure envy and jealousy from interest and attraction from the countless pairs of eyes that were glued onto him and you as he scanned the area, and he absolutely hated it.

His attentiveness and expertise in studying other people’s expressions and body languages had landed him in both blessed and cursed situations, for instance he was glad he was able to tell you were into him as much as he was from your first date with the way your attention was completely stuck on him, your fingers fidgety with your nervousness when they weren’t brushing through your hair followed by the adorable pink that would dust your cheeks as you looked down to chuckle at his stupid jokes.

The other instance being now, he could effortlessly nitpick the men who were gazing at your body with disgusting lust and need in their eyes from the men that had genuine curiosity and intrigue written all across their expressions as they gazed at you, your beauty captivating each and every one of their attention with ease.

He hated how these men had the audacity to gaze at you in ways only he should be able to, the nerve of them to think about you in only ways he should be able to, he hated the fact that you probably have the same effect on them as you do on him, plaguing their minds for the rest of the week with thoughts and wonders about how one day will be like with you.

But was the young ceo going to display his discomfort and show the clear jealousy tainting his expression to the whole world? Of course not. Who did these men even think they are in the first place? Why would Park Jongseong give them the satisfaction of seeing him with a sour expression on his face next to his lady who had managed to successfully enchant the entire venue with her beauty?

He would of course stand next to you tall and proud, hand wrapped around your waist protectively, fingertips brushing against the satin of your dress that he had designed and the whole world knew about that fact from his emblem next to your collarbone, a satisfied smile on his face that easily asserted his power and success, a supremacy all the other men around them could only have the ability to imagine about.

The image of the young ceo was guaranteed to be a trending topic in the country for the following few days, his resemblance to his father had always been a hotly discussed topic among the citizens of the city that had their eyes glued onto his every move, yet now with his first appearance into the public eye in a few months was a different kind of whiplash for all the attendees.

Park Jongseong walked with elegance, spoke with grace and radiated charm. His sole character and aura was a heavy statement of opulence and luxury, casting a very clear difference between him and all the other men in the entire world.

It was very obvious to the public eye that he wasn’t resembling the former ceo only appearance wise, but he had an exact replica of his father’s mannerisms. Born and raised into old money truly had done wonders in the upbringing of jongseong in the best way possible.

He was a ‘one-of-a-kind’ man, one in billions that blessed his family of powerful ceos, he truly was destined for success.

And success did he find, in the most loving and caring forms that walked into his life right when he most needed it, the sight of you next to him was pure eye candy for all the cameras in front of you, you and jongseong’s outfit complimented one another perfectly.

The contrast between the young ceo smiling charmingly at all the cameras as he attempted his best to turn and face all the reporters that were yelling his name and you, the embodiment of love and beauty standing besides him, glowing with your dress when you waved at your other friends standing a few feet away from you on the red carpet before smiling sweetly at all the paparazzis, was for sure going to be a trending topic for weeks.

“Don’t you think we should head inside?” You whispered to your lover, voice low in worry of one of the cameras that were recording you both to catch your irritated tone, the one you were trying to hide, jongseong clearly noticed it of course, his head nodding before he could even realise it, turning to interlock your hands once more to finally walk away from the blinding flashes.

Maybe Jongseong shouldn’t take much pride and confidence in his body language studying abilities, as he had completely failed to realise the multiple models that were eyeing him.

From the ones standing a few feet behind you, glaring daggers into you before their eyes twinkled once they landed on Jongseong again, to the ones behind the cameras, whispering with their hands against their mouths with their gazes stuck on your lover, who failed to notice all of them.

But of course you noticed, you felt the way you were being watched not only with lustful eyes but also envious eyes, the thought of multiple women wishing to be in your position, daydreaming about your lover irritated you to an extent, because at the end of the day, he was going to be the one to take your dress off while you left your loving marks on his back.

And one way or another, you will manage to make everyone else in this event realise it.

Jongseong’s thumb caressed the back of your hand gently, he could feel the nervousness radiating off from your body, hell he was nervous himself with his eyes glued on the host atop the stage, holding the envelope with one hand while the other kept the microphone close to his face, Soobin’s voice boomed throughout the speakers in the venue.

“And the winner..” he continued building the anticipation in the area, practically all attendees were on the edge of their seats with their breaths hitched, jongseong could feel his anxiety increasing when he noticed sunghoon’s leg shaking next to his seat, jaeyun’s nervous eyes rapidly moving from the large screen to the stage, your own nails digging into his skin softly whenever soobin spoke along with his mother’s eyes studying your nervous state while whispering reassuring words to you.

“I’m so sure you won, baby.” Jongseong finally found his voice again as he whispered softly into your ear, and similar to a spell you felt all of your worry dissipating at the mere sound of his comforting voice, your grip on his hand loosened while you leaned back into your seat again, a full wave of relaxation washing over you, you turned to look at his eyes already staring at you tenderly.

“I don’t mind, really.” You spoke with a hushed tone, a small smile gracing your lips when your gaze fell onto your interlocked hands with jongseong, “it’s just an award,” you shrugged your shoulders before returning your focus onto the stage, unaware of the grin that now appeared on jongseong’s face at your words.

“For ‘Model Of The Year’ is..” Soobin’s voice brought his attention back onto the screen yet again, the sight of Soobin’s hands hastily opening the envelope he was handed before pulling out a small paper, made jongseong gulp in anticipation, the roles were quickly reversed since now you held jongseong’s sweaty hand with both of yours, gently rubbing your thumb on his skin to calm his own nerves down.

And at soobin’s yell of your name throughout the venue, jongseong felt his whole world slowing down in rotation, you excitedly jumped from your seat with shock painting your face followed by jongseong’s mom also leaping to hug you tightly, her praises and congratulations falling onto your ringing ears as the crowd erupted with cheers and claps.

Sunghoon was too busy celebrating your win with jaeyun who was now hugging the assistant excitedly, eyes shining with a huge smile on his face at his model winning such a huge award in his agency, he felt so proud of you, body twitching in happiness as he stared at you walk towards the stairs of the stage now.

The whole time jongseong was in a state of shock, his eyes attempting their best to focus on your figure standing in front of the mic now, his racing heart skipping beats once his eyes focused on the huge award in your hand, sunghoon’s whispers of ‘i told you’ were left ignored as jongseong tried his best to decipher your speech— he could already tell your halfway through it yet time seemed nonexistent for him at this current moment.

When his ears finally began to pick up and understand what you were saying— “And I would love to thank my beloved husband, park jongseong—“ and just like that his ears began ringing again, his surroundings suddenly slowing down once more.

Because what?

Your beloved who?

The crowd that was only quiet for a few seconds roared with another round of applause and shouts at the announcement, your mind was clouded up and foggy with your own emotions you didn’t even realise your slip up even when your eyes landed on jongseong’s shocked face, his mouth agape with his pretty eyes widened with shock— was he tearing up?

The realisation dawned on you when you noticed sunghoon proudly slapping his friend’s back all the while jaeyun was now bursting with excitement, clapping his hands with multiple giggles falling from his lips followed by sweet congratulations to jongseong— who was slowly coming back to his senses and becoming aware of the camera next to his face, recording and displaying his reaction on the large screen.

His face and ears had flushed entirely red, big eyes twinkling in surprise and shock, lips parted in confusion as he had the urge to say anything. To talk, to scream, to yell at that second yet nothing was coming out besides a breathy chuckle.

Jongseong felt the familiar warmth rushing throughout his body, branching from deep within his chest to his limbs that buzzed with excitement, the familiar warmth that only you were able to generate in him, the warmth and fuzzy feeling of pure love.

He had the courage to look into the lens of the camera with his own tear filled eyes before nodding proudly, confirming your own unbelievable words, the shocking statement that fell from your lips unexpectedly to the entire world.

His heart thundered in his chest when sunghoon nudged him while laughing, jaeyun was now calming down jongseong’s mother who was too busy wiping her own tears of happiness at the sight of not only you on stage but also the sight of her son, jongseong gazing lovingly at you atop the stage, radiating the love and adoration he carried for you from the screen, and the final blow was when he decided to blow a kiss your way.

That was when your own resolve completely crumbled and you bowed one final time to the crowd and soobin before quickly getting off the stage, the urge to be close with your lover surpassing every other emotion you felt in that second, the need to hold him and feel him consuming you to the point of a satisfied sigh tumbling past your lips when you finally made it to your seat again,

With jongseong standing to hug you tightly, lips next to your ear he whispered “congratulations, wifey.”

Jongseong’s didn’t allow his body to stay as distant as an inch away from you, almost like he became glued to you at the hip when you began to make your way back from the event, hands laced together with his towering figure trailing behind you like a shadow.

He couldn’t bring himself to even think about lifting his eyes away from you or drifting a single second away from your body, the only time being when he had to enter his car after you and it was short lived since not even a moment later he was pressed against you.

Still in his state of a giggling and blushing mess bedsides you, he toyed with your fingers while you were on the phone with Yizhuo, accepting all of her sweet congratulations and excited squeals over the line before ending it with a loving kiss to the phone, your lover was now distracted with softly brushing his fingertips against your skin, caressing each vein around your wrist with hazy eyes,

“Jongseong..?” You whispered quietly, eyes quickly checking on Nicholas who glued his attention on the road ahead of him, before returning back to a soft jongseong, he hummed at your call of his name, gaze still stuck on your hand— specifically a certain finger on your left hand, with a ghost of a smile on his face.

“You’re really quiet..” you stared at his side profile, the slope of his nose, his softened eyes filled with passion along with his pretty pink lips pouting in concentration, he was in a deep thought. He simply hummed as a response once again, and before you knew it the vehicle finally came to a stop.

Walking inside the house never felt so soothing for both you and jongseong after a tiring day, once the door behind you got closed you felt his hand rush from interlocking with yours to wrap around your elbow, briefly stopping you and turning a confused you around to face him.

“Did you really mean it..?” He spoke with a hushed tone, eyes blazing with hunger and need for you, his other hand came upwards to caress your cheek lovingly as he awaited your answer, “mean what?” You questioned.

He breathed in deep before speaking once again “do you see a future with me?” His eyebrows slightly raised this time, a slight blush decorating his ears that slowly trailed downwards to his neck, the sight of your gaze softening and transforming from confusion to pure love made him almost melt in front of you.

“Of course I do,” you leaned against him, hands now finding their place on top of his chest, you felt his heart beat drumming beneath your fingertips rapidly while his hands dropped to wrap around your waist, “I’m glad you do, because I can’t wait to marry you.” He spoke before kissing your forehead, resting his against yours as he closed his eyes while yours widened.

“We don’t have to rush..” you quickly said, making him open his eyes once again, you easily drowned in his eyes that were dripping with honey. “We have to, the whole world thinks that we’re married now.” He chuckled, “I don’t mind making that true..” he continued, arms wrapping tighter around you while you stared at him with genuine amusement, “..like right now.” He nuzzled his nose against yours.

“Jong..” you started, heart racing from not only his words but his closeness as well, you felt your body heating up, a familiar warmth taking place between your legs the tighter and closer he held you to him, he walked slowly while he pushed you backwards till your back pressed against the door and his lips found home on your neck.

He breathed in your scent before trailing kisses along the expanse of your skin, your breaths deepened once the room suddenly felt warmer, his blazer around your shoulder felt like it was burning you, your eyes unintentionally closed the wetter his kisses got, the longer he trailed his tongue over his marks and the harsher his sucks got on your skin.

He pressed his leg between yours, knee indenting your dress while it pleasantly pressing against your core allowing him to feel the wetness pooling in your underwear, your hands by now had reached out to wrap around his shoulders, fingertips brushing against his undercut making him groan.

you felt his hardened member press against your thigh achingly while jongseong paid no mind to his own needs, too distracted by your supple skin between his teeth. Yet you couldn’t take it any longer, you needed him inside of you desperately.

“Jongseong..” you whispered once again directly into his ear, tone laced with crave and yearn towards him, he felt his heart skip a beat at your weak sound, quickly detaching himself from you, “I’ve got you.” He mumbled before picking you up with ease,

His feet quickly arrived at the doorway of your shared room, he swiftly stood besides the bed before carefully lowering you onto his bed sheets, wasting no time in climbing atop of you to finally connect your lips for the first time tonight.

His hand wrapped around your neck, squeezing the marked skin weakly, making a soft gasp flutter past your lips, he trailed his tongue against yours, brushing past your swollen lips while he pressed his body completely against yours.

His other hand quickly came up to rid him of his tie, popping a few buttons open on the way which allowed you to get a look at his gorgeously tanned chest, his hands then worked quickly to open the zipper on the side of your dress before leaving you on the bed clad in lingerie, one that he recognised you and yizhuo designed to hopefully get released under a future lingerie design, and you were sure it was with the way jongseong’s pupils immediately formed small hearts.

“You look stunning..” he breathed out, chest heaving in breaths while he began to kiss your chest, you lowly moaned his name once he began to suck between your breasts, hands fondling with them with the annoying restriction of your bra, his kisses turning more hungry and greedy the lower he reached, he placed on final wet kiss on your hip bone before his hands wrapped around your inner thighs, separating your legs as his placed them on top of his shoulders, lowering himself to the wet patch on your covered panties.

His placed one kiss against your clothed clit resulting in your legs twitching besides his head, he chuckled lowly before kissing you once again, you whimpered his name out, hips needily and uncontrollably rolling as your body was lit on fire at this point, jongseong pushed one finger in through your clothed entrance, the sight of your glistening wetness trickling out more from the sides while he could feel your nectar seeping through the flimsy fabric bewitched him entirely, he gulped when he felt countless waves of pure ache travel his body from his hips.

“Jongseong please..” you mewled, the back of your hand resting against your forehead once you began to feel lightheaded the longer he pushed his finger along with your fabric inside of you followed by his long kisses against your clit, “please what, angel girl? Tell me what you want.” He quickly replied before turning his head to kiss along your inner thighs, his swollen lips pressing against your skin after nibbling on it softly.

“Please let me ride you.” You whimpered out, voice barely audible but jongseong understood your words with ease hence why he suddenly stopped all his movements and god was he fighting off the urge to combust in his pants right now.

Without responding he quickly got up, hands separating from your heat while his face came upwards to yours, he took in the sight of your half lidded eyes, shining with desire, need and devotion when you finally saw him again, the sight of your blushing face with soft breathes panting from between your plump lips, you looked alluring.

Jongseong had seen you on countless magazine covers, your photos on multiple runway shows taken by professional photographers, numerous photoshoot appearances with half of them ending up on billboards all of which you looked absolutely gorgeous in.

Yet none of these photos could amount the beauty that he saw whenever you were under him, the beauty that he knew he caused. With your flushed face gazing at him so prettily, begging him and needing him to do anything. Not one single photographer can catch the expression of pure love and lust that he got to saw beneath him every single night, you looked mesmerising.

Easily putting him under a spell with only one goal in his mind, to please and love you till sunrise only to do it again the whole day and never break this endless cycle of devoting himself to you entirely.

“Of course, angel.” He finally breathed out a response, delicately moving his and your body to get you in the correct position after quickly ridding himself of his pants along with his boxers, with his back against the headboard and you sitting on his lap, he held your waist as he guided your clothed cunt against his aching length that stood proudly against his lower stomach appearing painfully hard, leaking with precum from his reddened tip.

He quietly gasped out your name, his hips twitching with your slightest movements, your hands gripped on his shoulders while his pressed your body closed to his while he moved you as he pleased, his eyes closing as he threw his head back, gifting you the heavenly sight of jongseong with his face blushed, lips glistening with his own spit due to his constant messy kisses, small sweat droplets decorating his hairline before trailing down his honey skin, his Adam’s apple moving when he gulped, you couldn’t really help yourself from leaning forward to press a gentle kiss against it, and you for sure didn’t regret it when it drew out a whimper from your lover.

Impatiently, your hand reached lower to push your sopping panties to the side before aligning his tip against your entrance, your wetness leaking down his length followed by his own precum, the sight arousing you enough to finally sink down on him after countless hours while both of your moans of pure pleasure resonated throughout the dimly lit room.

“Fuck..” he breathed out, his abs flexing from beneath you as he fought his hardest to push his release back since he’s been in an internal battle ever since you slipped up on that blessed stage, his hands held onto your hips once you began to move atop of him, guiding your hips to roll in delicious circles that made you whimper his name against his lips while he sloppily kissed you.

He couldn’t keep his lips off of yours for too long, separating them whenever the urge to moan out your name became to much before returning to suckle on your lower lip, he savoured your flavour and you taking over his senses entirely by closing his eyes and allowing himself to indulge in you entirely while your gummy walls sucked him hungrily.

Your nails began to slightly dig into his skin the harsher his hardened tip pressed against your sweet spots perfectly, your eyes rolling back almost every time you lowered yourself on his cock after lifting your hips to only have his tip inside of you, jongseong began to slowly move his own hips upwards to meet your thrusts, he angled them perfectly to have his tip press against your cervix expertly.

He had memorised every part of your body, every movement that had your legs shaking and eyes rolling and he used every night he spent with you to his advantage, almost vowing to himself to always have you clouded with bliss and pleasure whenever he had the chance.

His length felt like it was splitting you open, moulding your walls to his size and his only with the way his thrusts slowed to the point where he was practically pushing himself inch by inch, his arms trailing upwards to circle around your waist, pressing your upper half against his while he fucked you passionately.

“Jongseong..” you moaned his name eagerly, your own hands had dropped to grip onto his forearms, nails indenting the fabric of his button up shirt while you tried your hardest to stabilise yourself, he quickly shushed you, “I know baby, I know. I’ve got you.” He pressed a quick kiss to your parted lips before reaching for the drawer next to your bed, hand moving hastily to grab the device before revealing the vibrator to you, “jong—“ he cut you off, his other hand holding your chin to tear your gaze away from the device to look at his own reassuring one, “I’ve got you.” He whispered one final time against your lips.

He turned the device on, to a medium setting before lowering his hand and pressing it against your clit, you gasped quietly at the intense vibrations of pure pleasure running along your body, your chest pressed harsher against his, jongseong could feel his mind spinning the longer he felt your breasts pressed against him while your hips involuntarily rolled due to the vibrations, he felt a shudder run down his back when he took notice of the goosebumps on your skin.

“There you go, doll.” He praised you, his eyes glued onto every expression of ecstasy that your face twisted into with the continuous building of your release, the way your eyebrows were furrowed with your pretty eyes tearing up due to the intensity of the pleasure he was providing you was driving him crazy.

You felt the way your abdomen tightened in familiar pleasure, the tightening of the coil indicating the approach of your climax that almost made your mind melt away, jongseong picked up the pace of his thrusts, your wetness mixed along with his own now messily trailing between your inner thighs to coat his own, the sound of wet skin slapping followed by your moans echoed off the walls the longer you needily bounced on him.

“I’m so close.. so so close,” you babbled throughout whimpers of his name, jongseong felt his own release that he desperately fought off right around the corner, he leaned forward to peck along your chest, lips brushing against your collarbone while he moaned against your skin, “i’m close too, baby.” He spoke between kisses, his hand pressed the vibrator harshly against your throbbing clit making you squeal his name, mere seconds away from reaching your orgasm.

“Come on, doll.” He urged on, his voice whiny in need of you to cum all over him and to allow him to relish in the sight of you in cloud nine, the sight he knew multiple men were currently wishing for, the sight that was reserved for his eyes only.

Jongseong felt the familiar jealousy course through his veins when he remembered the nasty looks of those men, his envy reflecting in the way his hand squeezed your hip before he lowered you down forcefully, unexpectedly and impossibly deepening his thrusts. Your moans turning into broken sobs while tears rushed freely down your cheeks when he picked up his own pace and began to piston his cock in and out of you.

“Fuck! Jong— I’m cumming” your voice turned into mere whispers the second you felt the familiar euphoria and fervor washing down on you, hitting your body with explosive waves, each one drawing out a long moan of your lover’s name from between your lips.

Jongseong was never a religious man.

But gosh the sight of your back arching beautifully in front of him, your head throwing back revealing your heaving chest clad in a flimsy lingerie with broken moans of his name along with a glistening sheen layer of sweat casting on your body enticingly, made you look absolutely divine in his eyes.

The urge to thank the deities above for allowing your paths to cross at that current moment was difficult to ignore, you didn’t notice the quiet gasp leaving his mouth at the sight of you, unaware of the way the mere view of you bathing in complete pleasure and delight unlocked something carnal, something animalistic in him that pushed him in a frenzy of thrill and bliss.

He guided you throughout your orgasm for a few seconds before moving both of your bodies in a split second, he discarded the vibrator carelessly as he suddenly had you beneath him, you gasped in surprise at the unexpected change in position with his hands now reaching to place your legs atop his shoulders while he pushed his cock back into your swollen folds.

“Jongseong please.. I can’t—“ you felt tears prickle in the corner of your eyes when he began to thrust again, he lowered himself to kiss along your tears, his hips rolling smoothly in after he pulled a mere inch out, not having the ability to possibly move out further from your heat that sucked and milked his cock in ways that had his body shaking.

“Yes angel, you can.” He cut you off, lips kissing along your wet cheeks, “you can give me another one can’t you?” He questioned, his hips now picking up pace ardently, overstimulating you while you could only writhe in his hold, the feeling of his tip now fully pressing against your cervix made your eyes roll to the back of your head, your body now twitching beneath him fully as you felt another orgasm building up.

“I know you can baby, you’re so perfect for me..” he babbled on, using every second that he doesn’t have his lips pressed onto your skin to whisper praises to you, “you were made for me, angel.” He kissed along your jawline while you sobbed his name, “my precious princess, does that feel good to you?” He lifted his face to take in the sight of your pretty face completely fucked out.

You nodded wordlessly to his words, he had successfully pushed you into a subspace filled with nothing but delight, your ears were ringing with only mumbles of his words reaching your brain, at this specific point you felt mind blowing waves of pleasure running throughout your body, confusing you on whether or not you were cumming again but you couldn’t bring yourself to care or focus.

“Did I fuck you dumb, doll? It’s okay you know I’ll take care of you, angel. I’ve got you, hm?” He continued, his legs now convulsing while he felt himself teetering on the edge of his orgasm, he could taste the metallic taste of his blood coating his mouth due to how harshly he had been biting his lips.

He felt you cumming around him once again, your nails gripping around his arms with your eyes closed shut while you whimpered beneath him, not able to process anything besides the borderline painful pleasure he’s been causing, his eyes softened at the rush of fresh tears from your ears when you tightened around him once again, “jongie..” you finally were able to weakly whisper his name, with both of your bodies twitching in overstimulating ecstasy.

your voice needily calling for him was enough to finally have him toppling over the edge, he choked out your name once he felt his mind clouding with blinding euphoria, hot white rushing through his veins as he pressed his hips sharply against yours, his tip pressing against your sweetest spots while he filled you up with his thick ropes of cum, painting your insides pleasingly white.

countless whispers of fuck fuck fuck fell past his lips followed by loud moans of your name as he plunged inside of your wetness to ride out his climax, unintentionally bringing you to another orgasm that made your walls convulse around him painfully, your peaks of pleasure seemed endless once jongseong felt his own tears of overstimulation lining his waterline, his wobbling lips pressing against your shiny ones, your body twitched beneath him once he wrapped his arms tightly around your waist after lowering your legs from his shoulders,

He suckled on your lower lip as his thrusts finally came to a stop with his cock deep inside of you, he felt his body burning with the intensity of the aftershocks, he quietly whispered your name expecting you to open your eyes yet you could only bring yourself to hum, he began to suck on your the tip of your tongue, hands caressing your sides while his length softened in between your warm walls,

“Angel.. my sweet girl.” He whispered, his dazed eyes now awaiting yours to open up finally, “come on..” he softly tapped his index finger along your cheek, finding the way you suddenly wrapped your arms around his shoulders to hold him closer endearing, “come on baby, come back to me..” he urged on, and once his longing tone finally reached your ears, you attempted your best to open your eyes.

“There you go baby..” he chuckled at the sight of your unfocused eyes, his fingers tenderly caressed your wet cheeks, patiently waiting for you to fully return your focus back onto him again, “did so well for me, pretty girl.” He praised before trailing kisses along your jawline, “my sweet angel.” He spoke with a final kiss to your parted lips, a soft smile appearing on his face when he finally noticed your hazy eyes focusing on him,

“You did so good for me, baby.” He said in a hushed tone, quietly speaking as to not overwhelm you in any way, the only goal in his mind was to get you both cleaned up before cuddling you till the afternoon tomorrow, “I love you so much,” he whispered, his heart swelling when you gently kissed him.

And that night became one of his favourites with you when he finally tucked you in his bed, your body clean atop changed bedsheets with him besides you, completely unaware that jongseong’s previous words were actually true, and the proof of that was the small velvet box inside of his blazer that he had messily discarded when he was undressing you.

៹ — A,NOTE. pt2. as mentioned above this was not proofread or edited so im kind of terrified to post this but I just finished it and i desperately want this work out of my drafts because it’s been here since the end of jan 😭

I would also like to point out the fact that I used punctuation this time ☝️ or atleast well TRIED to use it to my best ability, and that this will also have a part two (that’s not going to be released anytime soon because this one drained me) and it will focus on the more possessive and somewhat toxic? side of ceo jay bcs im obsessed with him 🙏🏼

some scenes were also written very quickly with my mind completely empty to it makes me feel kinda :/ like especially the award scene it was kinda rushed but I was kind of working on a time crunch (idk why but I wanted this out as soon as possible) so that’s why some scenes might feel empty or not as well and in depth written as the other ones which is on me + the fact that I don’t really know much about the modelling agency so I didn’t go into detail about writing it in case it’ll be wrong which is also why some scenes will be feeling empty. but anywho !! i hope u some what enjoyed my longest fic to date :D !! feedback & reblogs are greatly appreciated ! <3

(p.s big thanks to Victoria Monét’s collaboration song with kehlani ‘touch me’ for giving me this idea and for making that song and if u read the lyrics they somewHAT inspired this whole fic especially kehlani’s verse and if some other parts don’t make sense then don’t worry because they will in part two 😁💯)

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cookinguptales · 1 year

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You know... I had an experience about two months ago that I didn't talk about publicly, but I've been turning it over and over in my mind lately and I guess I'm finally able to put my unease into words.

So there's a podcast I'd been enjoying and right after I got caught up, they announced that they were planning on doing a live show. It's gonna be near me and on the day before my birthday and I thought -- hey, it's fate.

But... as many of you know, I'm disabled. For me, getting to a show like that has a lot of steps. One of those steps involved emailing the podcasters to ask about accessibility for the venue.

The response I got back was very quick and very brief. Essentially, it told me to contact the venue because they had no idea if it was accessible or not.

It was a bucket of cold water, and I had a hard time articulating at the time quite why it was so disheartening, but... I think I get it a little more now.

This is a podcast that has loudly spoken about inclusivity and diversity and all that jazz, but... I mean, it's easy to say that, isn't it? But just talking the talk without walking the walk isn't enough. That's like saying "sure, we will happily welcome you in our house -- if you can figure out how to unlock the door."

And friends, my lock-picking set is pretty good by this point. I've been scouting out locations for decades. I've had to research every goddamn classroom, field trip, and assigned bookstore that I've ever had in an academic setting. I've had to research every movie theater, theme park, and menu for every outing with friends or dates. I spend a long time painstakingly charting out accessible public transportation and potential places to sit down every time I leave the house.

Because when I was in college, my professors never made sure their lesson plans were accessible. (And I often had to argue with them to get the subpar accommodations I got.) Because my friends don't always know to get movie tickets for the accessible rows. Because my dates sometimes leave me on fucking read when I ask if we can go to a restaurant that doesn't keep its restrooms down a flight of stairs.

I had one professor who ever did research to see if I could do all the coursework she had planned, and who came up with alternate plans when she realized that I could not. Only one. It was a medical history and ethics class, and my professor sounded bewildered as she realized how difficult it is to plan your life when you're disabled.

This woman was straight-up one of the most thoughtful, philosophical, and ethical professors I've ever had, one who was incredibly devoted to diversity and inclusion -- and she'd never thought about it before, that the hospital archives she wanted us to visit were up a flight of stairs. That the medical museum full of disabled bodies she wanted us to visit only had a code-locked back entrance and an old freight elevator for their disabled guests who were still breathing.

And that's the crux of it, isn't it? It's easy to theoretically accept the existence of people who aren't like you. It's a lot harder to actively create a space in which they can exist by your side.

Because here's what I did before I contacted the podcasters. I googled the venue. I researched the neighborhood and contacted a friend who lives in the area to help me figure out if there were any accessible public transportation routes near there. (There aren't.) I planned for over an hour to figure out how close I could get before I had to shell out for an uber for the last leg of the trip.

Then I read through the venue's website. I looked through their main pages, through their FAQs to see if there was any mention of accessibility. No dice. I download their packet for clients and find out that, while the base building is accessible, the way that chairs/tables are set up for individual functions can make it inaccessible. So it's really up to who's hosting the show there.

So then and only then I contacted the podcasters. I asked if the floor plan was accessible. I asked if all the seats were accessible, or only some, and whether it was open seating or not. Would I need to show up early to get an accessible seat, or maybe make a reservation?

And... well, I got the one-sentence reply back that I described above. And that... god, it was really disheartening. I realized that they never even asked if their venues were accessible when they were booking the shows. I realized that they were unwilling to put in the work to learn the answers to questions that disabled attendees might have. I realized that they didn't care to find out if the building was accessible.

They didn't know and they didn't care. That, I think, is what took the wind out of my sails when they emailed me back. It's what made me decide that... yeah, I didn't really want to go through the trouble of finding an accessible route to the venue. I didn't want to have to pay an arm and a leg to hire a car to take me the last part of the journey. I didn't want to make myself frantic trying to figure out if I could do all that and still make the last train home.

If they didn't care, I guess I didn't either.

If they'd apologized and said that the only venue they could get was inaccessible, I actually would have understood. I know that small shows don't always get their pick of venues. I get it. I even would have understood if they'd been like "oh dang, I actually don't know -- but I'll find out."

But to be told that they didn't know and didn't intend to find out... oof. That one stung.

Because.... this is the thing. This is the thing. I may be good at it by now, but I'm so tired of picking locks. I'm tired of doing all the legwork because no one ever thinks to help me. I'm tired of feeling like an afterthought at best, or at worst utterly unwelcome.

If you truly want to be inclusive, you need to stop telling people that you're happy to have them -- if they can manage to unlock the door. You need to fucking open it yourself and welcome them in.

What brought all this back to me now, you may be asking? Well... I guess it's just what I was thinking to myself as I was tidying up my phone.

Today I'm deleting podcasts.

#I guess it did save me a lot of money #I'll still probably go up to nyc to visit with friends for my bday but I won't go all the way out to brooklyn for the show #and I probably won't need to get the hotel room #and I DEFINITELY won't be supporting their patreon like I was planning lmao #I'll buy myself a new tarot deck for my birthday instead #cw:#disability #ableism

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bluerosefox · 1 month

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Invites

"OMA, kill meeeee" Ellie, aka Wrath complained as she allowed her head to 'thunk' on the cafeteria table in the Watchtower she phased into in order to sit in next to a boy dressed in red, yellow, and green.

"Aren't you already halfway there?" Came Robin's response as he took a drink of his water, eyeing his teammate with a raised eyebrow, though it was difficult to tell with his mask in place.

"OMA?" Asked Superboy on the other side of the boy.

"Shush you." She said towards Robin before answering Superboy "Oh my Ancients, it's like OMG but like for us ghosties."

"Tt" "Oh!" Came both their responses.

"So..." began Superboy after a few minutes of silence between them as he looked at Ellie like a confused puppy "Why?"

Ellie groaned and just stayed slumped on the table as she said "Da's dumb Observants council is hosting another dumb ball to try to get him or me hitched again, and like always I'm forced to attend because I'm Da's heir. We both hate it with a passion, most are just stuck up, power hungry, social climbers trying to get into our pants for the royal titles... Espcially if they become our Forevermores."

"Tt, why not just get rid of them? Or simply have your Father dismiss the ball." Robin said, his eye twitching in annoyance just at the thought of it. A ball sounded even more annoying than the gala parties he is made to go to.

"Sounds stressful... Also Forevermores?" Superboy asked, he was always curious of Ellie and her ghost culture but never knew what could be asked or not, he had been warned to never ask how a ghost died after all and that question is normally asked in every ghost hunter video on the internet.

"Forevermores is our term for the ONE. The one and only we will ever be with. Till our final end takes us we are always to be with them only. We are core creatures and bonding on that level is like sacred, we don't rush into bonding like that though. But everyone in the Realms hopes to be either become mine or Da's. And the ball is their best chance at meeting us on neutral grounds." Ellie explained as best as she could for Jon, it was hard trying to explain the type of level a Forevermore was "And to answer you Robin, Da can't. The Observants, despite how annoying they can get with their dumb demands, are part of the system council for the Realms, they're sadly needed to keep things in check hence their name. Da and his friends are still trying to find a loophole to get rid of them though. They were only created when they put Tyrant King to sleep and they still sadly have some backings from other powerful ghosts in the Realms, even an Ancient or two and in order to fully dismiss them we need all Ancients on board. And the ball keeps a lot of ghosts, especially the more powerful ones, errr I guess happy? Most just use it to gossip on neutral grounds, others just like to dance, network, or other junk like that. Basically, when it's not about them trying to get mine or Da's hand in ghost marriage, it's fun so Da can't dismiss it, it'll ruffle to many feathers."

"Wow..." "Tt." Were the response from her teammates.

"Yeah. Da really isn't happy because someone suggested inviting powerful people from a few Mortal Realms this time. Somehow it got approved. So... here." She said as she reached into her own chest, phasing her hand in, and pulled out two green envelopes and placed them on the table in front of them. Both boys stared in surprise to see their names written in dark purple ink and the stylized DP on it.

"CW let me invite you guys personally. Everyone else should be getting theirs in about a few minutes complete with a blaze of green fire and spooky vibes." Ellie said with a strained smile, both happy to invite them but also dreading the questions she'll no doubt have to answer once the invites were sent.

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caramelcal · 11 months

Text

you'll always be my girl - t. nott

summary: theodore nott was your brother's best friend, and had been the boy of your dreams since you first lay eyes on him. everyone knew that. so it's a surprise when you suddenly get a boyfriend, and theodore is determined to show you why he's the better choice. always has been and always will be.

warnings: all characters are of age. smut, cheating. all that fun stuff. theo is reader's brother's best friend. reader pined for YEARS but it faded away when she got with her boyfriend. she's a bit of a pushover. virgin!reader. dom!theo. sub!reader. modern au. lots of swearing. arguing. praise kink. overstimulation. dirty talk.

note: this prob isn't great, i don't write smut often idk

"Mate move! Move! He's behind that wall." Theodore shouted, adrenaline coursing through his veins as he tapped the keys on his controller trying to be revived faster.

"Fuck! I can't find him," Lorenzo had replied, a similar tone to Theodore's as their eyes were both glued to the screen in front of them.

It was only the two of them at Lorenzo's tonight, something that wasn't overly uncommon for the two of them to do. Despite being close with the rest of their group, Theodore and Lorenzo spent the most time together just the two of them. Theodore practically lived at the Berkshire's house half the time nowadays, finding it much warmer than his own.

Honestly, it was more shocking if he wasn't at the Berkshires.

"Over there! Shit!" Lorenzo cursed, the loud, violent tapping of buttons ensuing at a more alarming rate from the two of them.

"Where's his-"

"Theo! Theo! The-" A red alert came over the screen, letting the two boys know that they had lost the game. They both put their controllers down, Lorenzo using the palms of his hands to rub his eyes in frustration, and Theodore throwing his head back with a groan.

"We really ought to get better at this mode, or we need to just stick to doubles," Theodore said, looking over at his friend who chuckled with a nod.

Mr and Mrs Berkshire were both out for the night, away on holiday, or business or whatever, Lorenzo didn't tell Theodore all the details. Theodore didn't particularly care anyway, it didn't make a big difference to him.

Lorenzo's parents were lovely to him, always greeting him pleasantly, always happy to see him, and telling him he was welcome at any time. They had even unofficially allocated one of the spare bedrooms in their house to Theo, who was eternally grateful for the escape it gave him.

"Enzo, I'm home!" Theo's attention was directed towards the door, where he heard someone kicking off their shoes by the door before walking towards the living room.

Y/n Berkshire. Lorenzo's younger sister. He was honestly surprised he hadn't noticed earlier that you weren't there. Even though you normally tucked yourself in the small library in the house, he had been here for hours and hadn't heard a peep from you.

Sure, you were normally quiet, but normally you at least said hello.

While growing up with Lorenzo, Y/n was never normally far behind. You had adored your brother when you were younger, and even as you both got older you remained close. Theodore on the other hand, had elicited a different sort of adoration from the younger girl. One that brought a blush to your face every time he spoke to you, or even looked in your direction.

It had been that way for years, and honestly, Theodore couldn't remember a time when you had been able to look him in the eye for longer than five seconds before getting too shy and looking away.

Footsteps echoed towards the living room, and the second you came into view, Theodore's eyebrows furrowed. Your body was covered in a silk dress, your hair styled perfectly and makeup on your face. You looked fancy, and Theodore could not imagine what you possibly could have been doing to require such an appearance.

There certainly weren't any parties on, if there had been, Lorenzo and Theodore would have been the first ones to know.

"How was your date?" Lorenzo didn't even look back at his sister as you sat down on the other couch, a sigh of relief as you sunk back into the comfortable material.

A date? The question had Theodore baffled. You had been on a date? With who? It certainly made the appearance seem more logical, you looked pretty. You had made that effort for a boy.

"It was good," You nodded your head, not looking over at your brother either as you grabbed the book that sat on the coffee table, flipping it open to the page you had dogeared earlier on that day so you could continue reading.

"You were on a date? With who?" Theodore asked.

"Oh, hi Teddy," You looked up from your book, sending a small smile to your brother's best friend, only just noticing him, "Adrian Pucey, he's in your year."

Teddy. The name you had called him since you started to talk. Everyone had called him Teddy when he was growing up, including Enzo, his parents and yours, but you were the only one that didn't grow out of it.

"It's Theo, y/n/n," Lorenzo had corrected you, as he always did, knowing how much Theodore despised the nickname now that he was older. What he'd never tell your brother though, was that he didn't mind it when you did it. It felt natural coming from your lips. He couldn't ever imagine you calling him Theo, or, god forbid, Theodore.

"Yeah, sorry," You mumbled, picking at the edge of your dress as you looked down at your lap, the book held in your other hand, a finger on the page you stopped reading on so you could keep your place now that you had straightened out the fold.

"Why are you going on a date with Adrian Pucey, he's…"

Theodore wasn't sure what to call him. Annoying? Arrogant? Not good enough for you?

"My boyfriend?"

"Your boyfriend?" Theodore echoed, his eyes almost bulging out of his head and jaw almost falling onto the floor. His tone was incredulous as if you having a boyfriend was completely out of the question.

"Well, that's new," Lorenzo murmured under his breath, not loud enough for you to hear, but loud enough for Theodore.

His tone let Theodore know that he, too, was not too happy about the arrangement. Adrian wasn't 'boyfriend material' and certainly not good enough for you. He was sleazy, and an average quidditch player at best.

"Yeah, is it so unbelievable that I could get a boyfriend?" Your tone -despite your word choice seeming a little sassy- was soft. Your eyes battered between the two boys, eyebrows furrowed as you sat forward.

Silence ensued between the three of you, your eyes still battering between the two boys, both of which didn't know what to say. It wasn't surprising that you could get a boyfriend, but your choice was certainly questionable. Frankly, they were too astonished to speak.

While Lorenzo had known you were spending more time with Adrian, he was hoping that it would fizzle away before labels got attached. He barely gave it any thought, thinking you wouldn't take a boy like Pucey so seriously. Oh, how he was wrong.

"I'm gonna head upstairs," You said quietly, sulking off the couch and quietly walking away, feeling a little ashamed that they seemed so surprised that you had managed to get your first boyfriend.

Theodore's eyes followed you, staying stuck to where you disappeared upstairs as Lorenzo broke the silence, breathing out some air, "Never expected that. Well, at least we know she's not pining over you anymore."

"Yeah, I guess."

…

It was less than a week later when Theodore was heading to quidditch practice, his bag slung over his shoulder, broom in his hand. He ruffled his hair with his free hand, breathing out some air as he prepared himself for what he could guess was going to be a pretty gruelling practice.

Granted, he could give himself some leeway, being the captain and all, but that didn't set a good example. They had a big game coming up in a few days and they needed to do well. There was little space for error, and Theo would make sure everyone was ready.

Hearing faint talking as he walked up to the locker room was odd, considering he was normally the first or second one there. He must've been running a few minutes late.

"-how you managed it, mate, I mean, between her being Berkshire's untouchable little sister and everyone thinking she liked Nott, you can understand why everyone's a bit surprised."

Theodore's hand halted its movement, not pushing the door open just yet as he listened in. They were talking about you.

"She just needed to know who the better boy was, didn't she?" He heard a muffled Pucey reply, "I certainly showed her."

The familiar feeling of anger began to bubble in Theodore's chest as he registered the words that came out of Pucey's words, and the laughter that followed them. Walking in, his hardened blue eyes immediately caught onto Pucey's, a silent warning.

Yet, all the smug cunt did in reply was smirk. That certainly didn't help the feeling of red, hot, anger that exploded in Theo's chest. Quidditch practice was going to be hell for him, Theo would make sure.

"Wait up!" An hour and a half later, the anger still hadn't faded from Theodore's system. His shoulders were uptight, his hand holding onto his broom with a deathly amount of force. It was a surprise the wood hadn't snapped yet.

Your light footsteps struggled to catch up with the thundering pace that Theodore kept. His eyes cast over to you beside him as you finally caught up, his hair still wet from his shower after quidditch practice.

"Can I talk to you?" You asked, looking at Theodore awkwardly. You never normally felt awkward around him, but from the way he was looking right now, you could tell he was mad, but that didn't mean you could let what happened slide.

"Mhm," He hummed in response, his eyes staying straight forward as he waited for you to speak.

"So Adrian was speaking to me and he said that you were going extra hard on him at practice. I understand that you and my brother aren't happy that we're dating but-"

"You came here to stick up for your little boyfriend?" Suddenly, Theodore had stopped walking, turning around so he was facing you. His eyes stared into yours, the anger in his voice rising.

He towered over you, making you crane your neck up to look at him, a drip of water from his wet hair falling onto your forehead. You cleared your throat lightly, not used to Theodore being in such a mood. Even if he was annoyed, he didn't normally talk to you like that.

"I- uh, yeah, kind of. I just don't think it's fair that you're punishing him. It was my choice to date him, he didn't make me."

"Listen, y/n/n, if Pucey had a problem with me, then he can come to talk to me, not send his girlfriend to sort out his issues like a fucking pussy," Theodore spat out Adrian's name like it was a disease on his tongue, his jaw clenching at the mere thought of you taking Pucey's side over his.

If you had any sense, you'd know to mind your own business. You had grown up with Theodore, you had known him for your whole life. Adrian had been your boyfriend for all of a few weeks and you were already choosing him over Theo? That was what wasn't fair, not a few more laps at training.

He saw the frown that made its way onto your face, and if he wasn't so angry at you and Adrian, then he would've crumbled. He knew you were sensitive, much more than most people, and the last thing he wanted to do normally was make you upset. Yet, if you wanted comfort then you could go to Adrian, especially after you tried to stick up for him.

Turning on his heels, Theodore began to walk away again, but it seemed you were a little more determined than normal.

"Come on Theo, you know it's not fair!"

That just about tips him over the edge. This was so unlike you, and it was all because of Adrian. You always went by what Lorenzo and Theodore said, but today you chose to stand up to Theo. You chose Adrian over Theodore and refused to let it go and now you were calling him Theo?

You had been reprimanded for over a year about still using the nickname, and a few weeks into having a boyfriend you suddenly dropped the name of endearment? That was enough.

"What was that?" Theodore stopped in his tracks the second the words had come out of your mouth, barely managing to get the words out between his gritted teeth. He looked over his shoulder at you, watching as you crossed your arms over your chest.

"You know it's unfair."

"You have no idea what's unfair, y/n."

"I know making Adri do double the number of laps as everyone else is unfair! I know knocking into him with double the power as everyone else is unfair, Theo! You're his captain, you need to be fair!"

"Stop that." His tone was reprimanding, like telling you off for doing something unspeakable. He didn't like this one bit, you talking back to him. It felt like something had been shifted and he wanted it all to go back to the way it was.

It was your turn to let out clipped, sarcastic words. Something you would have never dreamed of doing to him; the boy you had pined over for years. Yet, all you could see was an immature, childish boy, not the guy you had liked for as long as you could remember, "Stop what, Theodore?"

"Stop calling me that."

You knew exactly what he was getting at. You always had an inkling that he enjoyed the nickname you refused to drop, given that he, himself, never told you off for it. You also knew he didn't like change, and that the idea of him and Lorenzo not being your number-one priority anymore bugged him. He hated that you had a new boy in your life.

"What? Stop calling you your name?" You replied, raising an eyebrow at him as he clenched his jaw again, letting out a dark chuckle as he started to walk away.

"Just fuck off, y/n."

You didn't bother to follow him.

…

You and the girls were bustling about in your room, doing all sorts of things. Some were getting changed, some were doing their makeup and some, along with you, were doing their hair. It was a Halloween party that practically half of Hogwarts was going to, and luckily for you, the house was only a few minutes walk away from yours.

Lorenzo and his friends were getting ready too, but you had chosen to keep your girls in your room, completely separated from them. Frankly, it was too much tension, and drama, and you didn't want that to stomp on your excitement for the party.

"Hey, y/n, do you have any snacks? I'm starving," One of the girls piped up, stopping doing her makeup to look at you in the mirror. You nodded your head with a smile, telling her you'd be right back as you headed down to the kitchen.

There was noise coming from the tv as you walked by the living room, letting you know that some of Lorenzo's friends were probably in there, taking a mental note to avoid. You wished that he had gotten the vibe to keep his friends in his room, but your brother was clueless sometimes.

He even seemed to be clueless about the fact that you and Theodore had been ignoring one another for the last three weeks, acting as if the other didn't even exist. With your arms full of all types of snacks, you left the kitchen, making your way back up the stairs.

Your eyes are on the snacks in your hand, making sure that none of them are going to fall as you walk, only to be halted by something being in your way. You had walked into someone.

"Oh, sor-" You cut yourself off as you looked up, making eye contact with intense blue eyes staring down at you. You narrowed your eyes.

"Y/n," He had acknowledged you for the first time, but not being nearly happy about it, his mouth in a thin, straight line, and his voice apathetic.

You mirrored his tone and body language, "Theodore."

He remained looking down at you, your pretty eyes looked up at him in disdain, a constant reminder of how you guys had last interacted with one another. He was still slightly mad, more irritated than anything, about the situation, and it was clear you weren't over it either.

It was so unlike you, and he hated that. While he wanted you to stick up for yourself more regularly, he hated that it only seemed to be him that you were being resistant to. It frustrated him to no end, that your relationship after so many years had changed so much in the blink of an eye.

He missed the way you looked at him with your doe-like eyes, so hopeful and kind and soft. Now, they were narrowed, almost as if a threat for him to say something. He hated that it was like you were trying to test his patience.

His mouth opened slightly, just about to speak to you, only to not get the chance, your bedroom door opening, "Y/n, c'mon! I'm hungry!"

In an instant, your eyes are no longer looking at him, but down towards the snacks that lay in a disorganised bundle in your arms, brushing by the taller boy towards your room. You spare no attention towards him, not a word nor a glance, leaving him alone in the hallway as you continue getting ready in your room.

It doesn't feel too long after that when you are all ready, all of you bundling down the stairs ready to go to the party. You know all the boys are now in the living room, and you would have happily walked by without entertaining him, but you knew you couldn't.

"Enzo, can I have some of the money mum and dad left?" You say, coming into the room. The boys are all ready too, but you know they won't leave until the party had already started for forty-five minutes at least, too busy playing video games and not wanting to be around for the awkward start most parties have.

You adjust the wings that are on your back as you walk towards your brother, white boot heels hitting off the wooden floor, the girls falling shortly behind you.

Theodore's eyes flicker up to you casually, but when he catches sight of you his jaw almost falls off, the modest girl you are, with the shortest skirt on he's ever seen. If you turn around, he knows he's almost guaranteed to see the curve of your ass, driving his mind haywire.

You adjust your bright-coloured corset and wings once more. It's obvious that you're supposed to be a fairy, but Theodore knows you're no Tinkerbell. You're perhaps the sluttiest, most tempting fairy he's ever seen. His mind races.

Lorenzo scratched the back of his neck, "Kitchen."

You nodded your head, heading off to the kitchen as all the boys quiet down. Lorenzo looked down at his phone, as the girls all follow you out of the room, "Mate…"

"What?" Lorenzo replied as Theodore sat beside him, all the other boys engaging in small talk again.

"Are you letting your sister go wearing that? Surely you can't," Theodore's trying to keep calm, but his mind is practically begging Lorenzo to make you change. The thought of someone else seeing the curves of your naked thighs and the curve of your arse makes Theo want to die.

"Nah mate, it's not ideal, to be honest, but her mates are just…they call you all sorts and start screaming if you say anything," Lorenzo finally looked up at his best friend, and Theodore can tell that Lorenzo isn't very happy with the predicament either, "and y/n/n just doesn't listen anymore, so there's no point."

There was a point though, to Theodore anyway. He didn't care what your friends thought, or about this new attitude you had adopted since you started dating Adrian.

You're back in the living room soon enough, coming to say bye, but Theodore is quick to walk over to you, not looking very impressed. He speaks lowly, "You should go change."

"What? Why? Do I look bad?" You smooth down your skirt a little, looking up at him with your usual wide eyes, a crack in this new attitude you've been showing lately.

"No," He's quick to shut down any doubt you have about your appearance, "It's just a bit inappropriate."

"Oh, don't be a prude, Theodore," One of your friends overhears, piping up in your support.

"Go change," He paid little mind to your friends, looking down at your eyes and repeating his previous order.

"Girl, you look so hot, don't let him cramp your style," Another one of your friends joins in to support you, a hand on your shoulder as she began to steer you out, "now let's go before he has anything else to say."

The second he saw you being steered out the door and towards the party, he just knows that this night is going to be one of frustration.

His prediction was correct. Only an hour and a half later he was ready to get out of there, the strongest alcohol he could find in a glass with his hand wrapped around it. Purple strobe lights, people laughing, and loud music all seem to fade into the background as his eyes focus on you. He could tell Pucey was trying to rile him up, and it was working.

His hands have been all over your body: while dancing, while sitting down, just every second of this party, and Theodore loathed it. He hated that Pucey's dirty, sleazy hands were on your soft skin, exactly where they didn't belong.

He tried to ignore it, his eyes closing as he downed the rest of his drink, slamming it down on the table. He didn't know where any of his friends were, and honestly, didn't care. He didn't want to talk to anyone or be with anyone but you right now.

He hated that he was thinking about you like this. Lorenzo's baby sister. It was supposed to be the other way around, you were supposed to be the one obsessing over him, so why couldn't he get you out of his head? Why have you been the only thing consuming his thoughts for weeks?

"Hey there, love," A girl sat down beside Theodore, a thing he loved at parties normally. The attention was something that had him feeling smug, but he couldn't even bring himself to look at her. His eyes focused on you as he hears your giggle echo through the room as Pucey whispered something in your ear.

Nothing Pucey could say would ever be funny enough to elicit such a beautiful sound. It felt illegal that he was allowed to hear your laugh, never mind be the reason for it.

"You seem tense, Theo," The girl puts her lips slowly closer and closer to Theodore's neck, her voice quieter and slower as she teased her lips against his neck, lightly grazing it, "Let me help you."

The song that blasts through the speakers had Pucey pulling you up to dance, twirling you around in his arms until his hands thread through to hold your waist. You're facing away from Theodore, completely naive to the blue eyes that follow your every move.

Your boyfriend, on the other hand, couldn't have been happier to meet Theodore's cold gaze, a smirk coming to his lips as he looked down at you, then moving away slightly, only to bring a hand down on your arse.

That has Theodore on his feet immediately, hearing the yelp that you let out as he stormed towards Pucey, ripping him away from you and getting right in his face. He was taller than Adrian, towering over him too as he gets right up in his face, "Don't fucking lay a hand on her again!"

"Theo!"

"She's my girlfriend mate, I'll do what I want." Pucey only fuelled the fire of rage that burned in Theodore's chest. You seem frozen, unsure of what to do as you try and catch the attention of either boy, wanting this nightmare to end.

"Yeah, we'll fucking see about that," Before you could even react, Theodore's fist is making contact with Adrian's nose, and Adrian stumbled back for a few steps before his legs gave way underneath him and he was on the floor.

A gasp emitted from your throat in shock and horror, looking at Adrian as he groaned, holding his nose, red staining the skin. A hand grabbed your wrist, much softer than you had expected from the same fist that had just floored your boyfriend, and dragged you away.

"Theo-"

"We're going home, y/n."

The next thing you know is that you're at the front steps of your home, wanting to say something, anything. Yet, any time you took a breath of air before speaking, Theodore was sending you a look that had you shutting your mouth straight away. Something was daring in his eyes, something a lot more threatening than normal.

His grip gave you little opportunity to wriggle free, his other hand banging open the door, his foot harshly hitting it shut behind you before you are trailing after him up the stairs. He barely gave your feet any chance to keep up with him before you were in his room.

He only let go once you were in the middle of his room, the door shut behind you both. The room is dark, and you both are heaving out a breath. You can just about see Theodore's shoulders sag a little, his voice quieter as he spoke, "I don't like what the boy is doing to you."

"What are you talking about?"

"Dressing like this," He stepped towards you, his fingertips grabbing the edge of your skirt as he continued, "acting like a slut, that's not you baby, you're normally so good."

Your stomach is filled with butterflies as he looked down at your eyes, soft for the first time in weeks, "I am good, I-"

"You think tempting me like this is good, baby? Wearing this outfit and dancing with another man's hands all over your body," Your stomach flipped at the pet name once more, your heart feeling as if it's going to race out of your chest.

Your throat feels blocked up as you watch every slight move he takes, feeling as if this moment is surreal; as if you're dreaming. His voice turned soft as he spoke again, "Where'd my good girl go?"

His hand caressed the side of your face softly, the pad of his thumb swiping over your soft skin and guiding your somewhat messy hair away from your face so he can see you more clearly. You had dreamed of this moment for so long, hoping that one day Theodore would reciprocate your feelings.

The feeling of his hands on you was so euphoric that no amount of dreaming could have ever made you feel like this. This was real.

"I-" You couldn't speak, your brain feeling as if it was going to overload.

You knew this was wrong. Theodore was your brother's best friend, you had grown up with him. He was off limits. You had a boyfriend. So why couldn't you find it in yourself to pull away from his grasp?

You felt as if you were getting pulled closer to his body. The temptation is so bad that no amount of self-control could save you now. You were a goner, you had always been when it came to Theodore.

Since you had been young, you knew that you would do anything for him. Anything so that he could give you this sort of attention, and make you feel like a princess. Your rational thoughts and morals should be pulling you away, but your heart aches for him, it always has.

"You gonna show me how much of a good girl you can be, angel?" He asked, almost as if he was trying to aid you in finding your words. You could only nod your head.

Suddenly, the familiar scent of cologne and cigarette smoke overtook your senses, his lips crashing against yours in a soft, but desperate kiss. His hands reached around you to pick you up, your hands going into his soft hair, grabbing onto the strands with your fingers as you wrapped your legs around his waist.

Swiping his tongue across your lips, you opened your mouth, letting him deepen the kiss as he took steps towards the bed, lowering you down onto the bed. His lips are still connected to you, and you can feel your lungs begging for oxygen, but you don't want to pull away.

Theodore does first, his blue eyes meeting yours as you slowly manage to open your eyes, your lips parted as you breathe in, trying to fill your lungs with the oxygen they had been deprived of. You follow his eyes as he slowly kisses down your neck, then down the valley of your breasts, his hands pulling down the corset, and you're quick to aid him in pulling it off.

The feeling of his lips grazing over your stomach has you hitching in a breath, watching as his head slowly lowers down your body. Then, his head is nestled between your thighs, kissing the soft skin that isn't hidden by your skirt. The hair on his head tickles them, the skin so sensitive, so unused to being given this much attention feeling so good.

With a racing heart, you watch as Theodore pulled up slightly, wanting desperately for him to touch you where you needed him the most. You ached, a feeling in you that you had never experienced before. You knew that Theodore often evoked feelings in you that you never experienced with anyone else, but this was new.

"You sure about this, baby?" You nodded your head in immediate response, but that didn't please Theo. With a light swat to the inside of your thighs, he looked at your eyes with a slightly more serious expression, "Use your words."

"Yes," The word spilt from your lips breathily, "Please."

Theodore, with a satisfied smile, came up to your face, leaning over you and softly attaching your lips to his. It feels just as surreal as the first time, and it makes your heart race just the same.

With his mouth still attached to yours, you feel his fingers brush against the fabric of your panties, just over your clit, making you hitch a breath. His fingers move the light fabric to the side, his fingers teasing against your hole.

"So wet for me, baby," The praise isn't taken lightly by you, soaking up every inch of approval he gives you.

Slowly, he adds a second finger, his thumb pressing down on your clit as his fingers curl into you, making you let out a breathy moan into the kiss that he eagerly swallows.

Your back arches off of the mattress, and as good as it feels you need more. You need him, "Theo…"

The blue of his eyes meets your gaze as you whine. You can't help it, you're desperate for more, to feel him inside of you. To take care of you and this pressure you can feel building in your stomach.

You mumble something out, a feeble attempt at getting him to speed up the process without verbally admitting that you're desperate for him. He doesn't take the hint though, not that you ever expected him to. He was torturous, tempting you and teetering towards what you wanted, but keeping you on the edge.

"Please."

It's a whisper as you let out another moan, your fist clenching his hair in your hand, grabbing onto any part of him that you can keep from pulling away.

A ghost of a smirk came across his mouth as he raised an eyebrow, "Please what, baby?"

You could tell from the familiar look in his eyes that he knew exactly what you wanted, his fingers curling up once more as they stretched lightly, stretching you out. Your eyes screwed shut as you felt slight tears pricking at your eyes. It just felt so good.

"Please," A broken whisper escaped your lips once more as you let out another moan, his thumb roughly coming down on your clit as you tried to bring your hips up, feeling a knot form in your stomach. It was so unfamiliar and had you heaving for a breath as you grabbed fistfuls of Theo's sheets.

With a final thrust of his fingers and a pinch against your clit, you came undone with a strangled moan. Your face was tilted back, mouth open and eyes closed, your hips bucking up to chase your high. You looked unreal, and Theo couldn't get enough.

When he removed his hands from you, he was coated in your bliss, your eyes softly opening, half-lidded, looking as Theodore brought his fingers up to his lips, his tongue transferring the taste of you, sweet and blissful, into his mouth. Your cheeks were tainted red when you realised what he had done, shifting about on the mattress and casting your eyes down.

Yet, you don't get much of a chance when a strong hand reaches for under your jaw, pulling him back up to meet his eyes, "Don't go all shy on me now, angel."

He could see the slight fuzz in your eyes as you stare at him, and he loved it. He liked how, simply with his fingers, he already had you dazed. His hands were soon pulling down his trousers with ease, and lifting his shirt off with one hand, leaving him in only his boxers.

You could see the outline of his bulge, and it had you gulping. You didn't know how the hell you were going to be able to fit that. He was so much bigger than you had imagined, or expected.

"Don't worry baby, we'll take it slow," He was quick to reassure you, a smug smile on his lips as he brings his mouth down to your collarbone, lightly nipping the skin as he sucked. It was definitely going to leave a mark, but that's what he wanted. He wanted Pucey to see it the next time he saw you, trying to assert some dominance on the situation.

Once he pulled his boxers down, he was soon lining up his tip with your entrance, lightly brushing it against your walls. He couldn't help himself when he asked, "Has Adrian ever-"

He began, but you were quick to shake your head vigorously, giving him a sense of satisfaction. He watched as your eyes screwed shut, soft breaths falling from your lips as he asked, much softer, "Is this your first baby?"

Unwilling to admit it out loud, you hesitantly nod your head, confirming Theodore's suspicions. He only just managed to conceal his grunt of satisfaction at being the first one to see you this way. To be the one to ruin you.

"Don't worry," His head is just beside your ear, a hand coming to gently brush the hair away from your face so not a single change or twitch in your face could go unrecognised by him. He wanted to see everything, every reaction you had as he ruined you, as he made your face twist in a type of pleasure that was entirely unfamiliar to you.

Slowly, he began to push into your tight entrance, the feeling of your walls squeezing him making him want to release already, grunting. He can hear your breathy moans of pain and pleasure as he struggled to go slowly, watching as he disappeared inch by inch inside of you.

All he wanted to do was slam into you, to hear as you screamed in pleasure, but he controlled himself, gripping the sheets with his hands to remain his discipline. You feel tiny in comparison to him.

When he finally bottomed out inside of you, you let out a strangled breath, not used to this feeling of being penetrated like this.

"You feel like heaven, sweetheart," The praise fell from his lips as he grunted once more, one of his hands coming to hold the side of your neck.

"'m so full," You partially cried out, tears leaking from your eyes at the unfamiliar feeling. It felt so good, overwhelmingly so, that you couldn't help the water that leaked out of your eyes.

His mouth came to softly kiss the tears away, your hands coming up to wrap around his back to hold him close to you. You wanted him as close as humanely possible as you slowly became accustomed to the feeling of him inside you.

"You're doing so well, baby," The praise is murmured against your cheek, his eyes closed in pleasure, "Let me know when I can move."

It isn't long before you're giving him the green light and he rocks his hips back and then forward, going slower to start with and soaking up your moans and whimpers with his mouth. His thumb pressed against your clit as he began to go faster, making your moans get louder and you become more desperate.

His hips snapped against yours and you sob into his lips, your nails scratching down his back. His hands are everywhere, exploring every inch of your body and worshipping it all. He knew he could sit and caress each part of your skin and never get bored, feeling intoxicated by the softness of it.

You were like a drug, something he shouldn't touch, something that was supposed to be off-limits, but far too tempting to leave alone. He knew that from now on, he'd never be able to let go of you, never be able to keep his hands to himself.

Your moans were melodic to him, something that he could never get over hearing. He had never had sex like this with anyone before, always quick fucks to satisfy his needs, but this was different. He felt like the barrier was broken, that you guys were connecting on a different level. Something you could never go back from. He would never let you.

The look of your parted lips, mascara running down your cheeks with your tears and your hair messy was a sight that no man but him deserved to see. He could tell you were getting close, he was too, your walls clenching around him as your moans got higher in pitch and louder.

The tears roll down harder, pouring out of your eyes as you barely manage to get your words out, "Teddy- please."

The return of the nickname has him going harder, abusing your g-spot as he hit off it time and time again, igniting a flame in his stomach as he leaned down and pressed a kiss against your forehead.

"There she is," He whispered to you, his lips still against your forehead, "There's my good girl."

You came not long after that, walls convulsing as you came around his cock, moans loud as he found himself not far behind, quickly pulling out as he came over your skirt and bare chest, both of you panting and moaning, lost in the sound and feeling of one another.

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