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drxwsyni · 4 years

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Petrified (pt.4)

Yandere Erasermic x f!Reader

SERIES MASTERLIST

a/n: oooooh boy this took a hot minute to write, but i finally forced myself to finish it. and we reached 600 followers recently too!!!! i can’t believe there’s so many of you guys like holy heck. i hope you continue to enjoy what i have to offer :)

4.8k words

Warnings: reader experiences mild anxiety

As much as every ounce of your being begged to escape the confines of your small apartment and return to work, there were certain...motivators, holding you back.

For one, you presumed it’d be safest to heed the words of a medical professional―at least for the time being. Your condition had greatly improved since Friday, disregarding some lingering head pain, and now your self-preservation and common sense seemed to be functioning properly at the moment. In that regard, resting was likely the better idea.

As for the other thing keeping you home...perhaps it would be healthier not to think about it.

You felt ashamed, having been so undeniably intimidated by a couple of men who were simply being kind enough to drive you home last night. However the sensation didn’t come as a shock once you had taken the time to think the ordeal over.

It’s just what came naturally―your brain internalizing experiences, shaping them into something that should scare you.

Any rational person would laugh at your behaviour.

They’re heroes. Clearly what happened was just them expressing harmless concern.

And yet the more you tried to convince yourself of their innocent intentions, the harder it became to ignore the gut feeling that still lingered the morning after.

However, you knew how your brain could be sometimes―refusing to move on from initial impressions despite having rationalized the topic as a whole.

Hizashi was just naturally drawn to affection as a way of showing distress. There was no other meaning behind his lingering touches or endearing nicknames―just concern.

As for Shouta, well he always seemed to be a stern man. It was likely that it just manifests a bit more when he’s worried, it’s just the professionalism in him.

There was no need to stay so fixated on the subject when you could be using your time to catch up on hobbies that you’d greatly neglected as a result of your occupation. Having no reason for doing anything else, a little self-indulgence was practically your only choice.

It was still early, at least for your standards―knowing full well that your lifestyle kept you in bed longer than the average human.

You kept searching for things to do here and there, never staying on one task for too long. First it was cleaning the kitchen, then attempting to read a long abandoned novel. You tried finding something on t.v to watch, but everything only offered you the same empty feeling of boredom. Nothing could pique your interest long enough to hold you to one pastime―and for good reason.

There was a message from Hizashi that remained unopened on your phone since you woke up.

It felt ridiculous, being so hesitant to look at the damned message. Even after telling yourself that there was nothing to worry about, you couldn’t bring yourself to read it. So when you heard the familiar ping not once, but twice in succession while organizing your magazine collection, the feeling of your heart sinking into your stomach did not come as a surprise.

The device was still on your nightstand where you disregarded it last night, and subsequently neglected it this morning. Even through the walls of your bedroom you could still hear the notifications go off.

Inwardly cursing, you had a faint idea that continuing to block out the intrusion would likely lead to more issues between you and the two men. Not that it should, everyone forgets to answer their phone here and there. But you weren’t an idiot―even if it was just paranoia, the consequences of ignoring the messages weren’t something you particularly wanted to think about given the recent behaviour of the heroes.

As expected, the screen was lit up in wait for your return.

From: Hizashi

morning sunshine! just checking up on ya, how r u feeling?

9:17 am

ya doing okay? didn’t pass out again i hope ;)

12:53 pm

if ya keep leaving me hangin i’m gonna get worried songbird…

12:54 pm

Ah yes, you thought, he’s as coddling as normal it seems.

You figured it’d be wise to send a reply before he bust down your door to make sure you were still alive in person.

You:

I’m alright! Just slept in a little :)

12: 54 pm

The response that came instantly was almost a little inhumanly fast.

From: Hizashi

oh thank god, don’t need a repeat of last friday

12:54 pm

You:

Yeah, definitely not. Thanks for checking up on me though!

12:56 pm

From: Hizashi

lemme know if ya need anything picked up, probably not a good idea for you to be going out rn

12:56 pm

Naturally, you wouldn’t let him do that even if you did need anything. God knows how much trouble you’ve been so far―no need to cause more.

You:

Sounds good, I’ll let you know if I do.

I’m actually in the middle of cleaning right now so how bout we talk later :)

12:57 pm

The more you conversed with him, the harder it became to think about anything other than the embarrassing experiences you had with the man. It was probably best if you gave up the conversation, knowing you’d have more than enough time to chat when you regrettably were forced to eat dinner with him and his partner.

Thankfully, he seemed to be okay with the proposition as well.

From: Hizashi

aww alright, don’t work urself too hard sunshine!

12:58 pm

Too bothered to give a proper farewell, you turned your phone off, leaving it on do not disturb to avoid further distress.

_____

You’d spent the rest of the day tidying up here and there. It turns out focusing solely on going to work only to come home for rest had left your apartment shamefully messy. Every now and again your thoughts would drift back to the two intrusions in your life as of lately. It was invasive―not being able to leave well enough alone. You weren’t physically near them they still plagued you with anxiety, even if it was just barely recognizable.

Dinnertime came soon enough, and you’d spent it mindlessly scrolling through social media. The feeling of wanting to chuck your phone across the room was fleeting―but present―as you momentarily laid eyes on a post having to do with Present Mic and his radio show. It would seem not even in your perceived distraction could you distance yourself from the thoughts and feelings related to him and his somber counterpart.

The night went on, slowly but surely. For better or for worse you let yourself get lost in the endless play-through of television. Some shows you’d seen before, others you hadn’t. It didn’t really matter when the only purpose they served was to keep your mind on something that didn’t have your hair falling out from stress.

Eventually you felt your mind become foggy with exhaustion once again―and you couldn’t be more thankful.

_____

Wednesday was spent doing many of the same things as the day before. Cleaning―so much cleaning. Turns out you’d missed a lot yesterday, and the lighting of the somewhat early morning sun was more than enough to highlight all the dirt and grime that had yet to be scrubbed away.

So you got to work, feeling rejuvenated with a good night’s sleep.

By the time you made it to six o’clock you felt thoroughly beat, and in the best way. You spent your time eating thinking about the work day you would have tomorrow. Sure, you were aware that it’d only bring the all too familiar sluggishness to your body. But you were a people pleaser, so really that sensation didn’t matter at the end of the day. What mattered was the motivation you felt that spurred you to work―both the verbal and nonverbal praise those who purchased the fruits of your labour gave.

Expectedly, when you woke up Thursday morning, although it was closer to the afternoon at that point, there was a spring in your step as you readied yourself for the day.

As always the comforting smell of fresh greenery in the air was much appreciated as you stepped into the floral boutique. Your coworker greeted you with open arms, regarding your seemingly healthy recovery. It was nearing the end of their shift, and therefore soon to be the beginning of yours, so you headed to the employee designated portion of the building to make the few preparations for the start of your night.

Naturally, you were quickly subjected to the whims and demands of customers when you took your place at the front counter. Given the monotonous time you spent away from any meaningful stimulation, the activity was appreciated.

You were assorting foliage left right and center, the company you worked for obtaining quite the substantial amount of earnings in the process. The time went by steadily, you working diligently alongside of it. Request after request was met, not even the few unsavoury interactions phased you all the much amidst the bustling atmosphere. A few familiar faces entered the shop, to which you greeted with a comforting warmth only good service could provide.

It felt good to be caught up in routine, making the nearing end of it only the more bitter. But it still came, and you were going through the motions of tending to the final arrangement with somewhat slowed movements as a result of your quirk usage.

The awaiting customer hastily took the finished product before paying and exiting the establishment. People tended to be in a bit of a rush at this hour, likely due to the lateness of the night. You disregarded the occurrence and settled for cleaning up for the rest of your shift.

There was sweeping and disinfecting to be done, along with tidying up the assembly station and checking on the greenery room one last time. You went through the tasks absentmindedly, having done them countless times before. The routine was like second nature, allowing your thoughts to go over the events of the workday.

You were giving a final once over of the plant life when the high pitched jingle of the front door bell rang out through the shop.

Really? At this hour you’re trying to buy flowers even though it’s literally closing time?

Giving a sigh of frustration you stepped out of the room and headed to the front. But low and behold, it was not in fact an incompetent customer waiting to be served.

“Did you even consider staying home for the whole week?” The erasure hero was leaning against the front counter when you entered the room. He was smirking ever so slightly, almost as if he knew that both of you were aware that you wouldn’t stay away from work. His tone was even teasing, making your frustrations go away only to be replaced by a slight feeling of flusteredness under his intense gaze. You didn’t know whether you preferred this side of him or the side that made you want to curl into a ball after being berated by unyielding lecturing mixed with interrogation.

“Hello to you too. I’m sorry if you're here for flowers cause it’s pretty much closing time.”

Just then Hizashi walked out from behind a display stand, making his way next to Shouta. “Not quite listener! Just wanted to make sure you were still up for that repayment we talked about.”

Ah yes, like you could forget that any time soon.

“Of course. Still not sure how it makes up for things but since you insist...who am I to say no?” You were behind the counter, taking stock of today's earnings as Shouta continued.

“I suppose it’s not really a traditional form of repayment, but we promise you’ll enjoy it. To be honest we don’t have company over often, so it’ll be a nice change of pace for us too.”

It was a relief to see that their behaviour wasn’t nearly as hostile as it was a few nights ago. Frankly, you just barely got out of that situation without breaking down from your highly anxious nerves.

“Ya finishing up there songbird? We’ll give you a ride home.” Joyous as ever, Hizashi was all too eager to put you further in debt.

Expectedly, his partner was quick to agree to the proposition. “That’s not a bad idea. Not to sound patronizing, but it really is dangerous to be out by yourself at this hour.”

You wrapped up the assessment of the register’s contents, closing the drawer and locking it up. “Thanks for the offer, but I refuse to impose on you two anymore. Besides, walking home can be kinda therapeutic―at least when I’m not tired out of my mind.” You gave a slight chuckle at the end of your statement, having long gotten used to that recurring condition at the end of the day.

“We weren’t asking, (y/n). You're still recovering, even though you probably won’t admit it. And I won’t beat around the bush―you’re too vulnerable in this state.”

It would seem Shouta’s previous attitude was just for show. Does he ever get tired of being so serious all the time?

It was like second nature at this point―direct confrontation leading to an initially mild panic that would soon snowball into a full blown breakdown if the occurrence persists.

You kept up the friendly appearance nonetheless.“I just think I’d prefer―”

“It’s no problem, sweetheart. You know we don’t mind helpin’ ya out. Besides we still gotta work out when you’re comin over, yeah?” The blond’s smile did little to calm the growing apprehension you felt.

Just be a little more stubborn. Some people need that extra reminder.

“It’s fine, really. I’ll just message you for the details and―”

“(Y/n).” It made your stomach churn―the lowness in the erasure hero's voice. He wasn’t having it. For a moment you pondered whether he’d ever really care about what you had to say.

“Just finish closing up, ‘kay hun? We’ll wait right here until you’re done.” Hizashi kept his eyes on you in wait for a response, or even an action that would show you’d comprehended what they said. And of course you had―you just desperately wished they’d never said it in the first place.

You felt ashamed, and it was becoming an all too familiar feeling when you were around the two men. But it was just who you were, met with compassion but only getting dejected by it. You were uncomfortable, there was no denying that. Backed into a corner that shouldn’t exist, but does because you didn’t have the will to change the situation into your favour.

Despite your distress, the part of you that put others before yourself prevailed.

“Okay, I guess. Just―um...gimme a few minutes please.” You wondered if they could even hear your reply, given that even to yourself it sounded almost non existent. It didn’t matter. You were fleeing to the employee room without bothering to find out.

You stood in front of your locker, hands shaking in the slightest as you got changed―apron off, jacket on, backpack slung over your shoulder. The coolness of the thin metal offered some relief, you keeping your hands atop the closed door for a moment to calm your rapidly beating heart.

At least you’d get home quickly, you thought.

As they promised, the two were waiting in the seating area at the front of the shop, quietly making conversation with each other. The sound of your footsteps alerted them to your presence.

“Ready to rock and roll?” Hizashi stood up from his seat, his partner following suit.

You gave the room a quick once over, making sure everything was where it needed to be. “I think so.” A quiet ride back home was what you hoped for, but there was more to be discussed, much to your dismay.

Shouta held the door open for the two of you, letting you pause to lock up when you had all exited. “How was work today?”

The closeness of his voice as you turned the lock into place made you jump slightly, but you did your best to ignore the temporary fear. “Fine, I suppose. Like any other Thursday night…” You tried to hide the underlying anxiety with a smile, but you couldn’t tell whether or not it did the trick. Giving the front door an experimental tug to make sure it was locked, you turned back to let the two lead you to their car.

You felt a hand settle on the small of your back―Shouta’s hand―as he walked with you while Hizashi remained on your other side, slightly ahead of you. “How’s your head doing, is the medication working?”

The two walked at a casual pace, but to you it felt unbearably slow―what you wouldn’t give to just walk home without the admittedly unwelcomed company. “It still hurts a bit every now and then, but the pills keep the pain at bay for the most part.”

By now you were approaching their car which was parked on the side of the road, the blond opening it for you to step in. Shouta took up the responsibility of driving once again, Hizashi in the passenger's seat.

“Ya gettin’ enough sleep?” You were sitting behind the driver's seat, letting Hizashi have the opportunity to comfortably look back at you while he talked.

“Probably more than enough.”

You heard Shouta start the car before he responded. “That’s good to hear. It’s unfortunate that your work keeps you out so late though.” The car started forward, and you were thankful that at this rate it’d only take a few minutes to reach your apartment. You kept your eyes trained on the passing scenery to avoid any awkward eye contact.

“So when do ya think would be a good day to come over. I’ve got my radio show on Fridays and weekdays don’t always sit too well with teaching ‘n stuff.”

“Yeah...Fridays definitely won’t work for me either. Honestly I don’t really get much time for myself outside of work.” Not that you weren’t used to this reality by now, but every so often you wished your life allowed for just a little more free time. If anything, the horrid state you found your apartment to be in when you were forced to stay home would surely attest to that.

It would seem that Shouta agreed with his partner’s statement, “How about this Saturday? I can come pick you up at around 5:30.”

You contemplated whether it was even worth arguing over letting him give you a ride to their place. And then you remembered exactly what landed you in their car in the present.

You probably wouldn’t get very far with that fight.

“That should be fine.” It was only in your nature to want to offer some form of compensation. You knew that this whole ordeal was meant to be you repaying them, so you should at least try to cater to that reality. “I can make something to bring so you guys don’t have to do all the work. Cooking isn’t really my strong suit but I’m a pretty decent baker―maybe I could put something together for dessert?”

“Nah don’t bother with that babe. We’re supposed to be treating you, remember?”

“Exactly, and I doubt any of us will have room for desert. Another time maybe.”

“Yep! Besides, you being there’s all the sweetness we need.” You didn’t have to look at Hizashi to know the grin he had on his face as he threw around careless sentiments like his literal partner wasn’t sitting right next to him.

The car was pulling into the parking lot of your apartment complex. To be honest you didn’t know how to respond to the nonchalant compliment, “Ah...yeah. Just let me know if there’s any change in plan I guess.” The vehicle came to a stop, you pulling your backpack into your lap while unbuckling the seatbelt.

“Don’t stay up too late, okay?” This time you didn’t make the mistake of looking at Shouta as he talked, for fear that his glare would burn holes through your skull. Instead you pretended to fiddle with something on your bag while responding.

“Yeah, thanks for the ride.”

The car door unlocked, letting you step outside into the brisk fresh air. Before you could close the door you heard Hizashi calling out to you, hand placed behind the headrest of his partner’s seat as he turned to speak to you. “We can give you a ride home tomorrow after work if ya’d like. Shouta’s got nothin’ going on―it’d be no trouble.”

“No,” that was definitely not something you needed, “I’ve got something I need to do after work actually, but thanks for the offer.” There was nothing to attend to after your shift, but they didn’t need to know that. Lying was never something you were the best at, and you hoped the shakiness in your voice didn’t give too much away.

“Alrighty then songbird, just thought I’d ask.”

“Have a good night (y/n).”

You smiled at the blond facing you, “Thanks, you too.” Before they could get another word out, as at this point you felt they would take up more of your time if possible, you shut the car door. Once again giving a small wave before you entered the building, you found it all too hard to contemplate how you’d politely weasel your way out of this newly developed relationship after the ensuing Saturday night.

_____

Friday came and went as expected. Waking up with the familiar sluggishness plaguing your body, moving past the sensation to go about your duties―everything falling into place as routine. Meeting the demands of love-stricken individuals was as taxing as normal, but it was all you had to make you feel like you were contributing something valuable to society. At the end of the day it was worth doing questionable things to your health.

The slightly less honourable motivation in the form of decent tips was always an added bonus. Your co-workers mentioned a few times that somehow you always ended up with a higher profit than the rest of them. It made you feel slightly guilty, but the usage of your quirk was likely the reasoning behind the occurrence.

Nights like these always ended with more earnings than normal―given the sheer volume of customers compared to the typical weekday traffic. Right now you took solace in the reward as you usually do at the end of your shift, thumbing through the few generous bills you received.

Satisfied with the haul, you completed your mental checklist that you’d formed over time to ensure that all tasks were completed by the end of the day. Your keys felt heavy in your wearied hands as you locked up, turning on the heels of your feet in the direction of your awaiting apartment.

You’d be lying if you said you were surprised to see that the two mildly invasive heroes hadn’t checked in to see that you were actually busy after work. Not that you wanted them to―having to lie once again wasn’t in your best interest. Still, the phenomenon that was their recurring presence had not gone unnoticed. More often than not you found your thoughts drifting to past experiences with them, and therefore regrettably resurfacing some unpleasant feelings.

For now however, you did your best to fixate on other, less mentally damaging things. In light of recent events you chose to take the long way home, inwardly shuddering as you passed the alleyway which you ever so carelessly ventured into exactly a week ago.

Maybe you were just hyperaware due to some lingering paranoia, but you could’ve sworn you could make out rustling in certain places around you―places that shouldn’t exactly be making that much noise.

Behind you. No...above you? Or was it both―the sounds distinct but lacking just enough to throw off your comprehension to make a full analysis of their origin.

Forget about it for God’s sake. You’re tired. It’s been a long day and you’re anxious because you got jumped just seven days ago in the same area.

But you could hear it.

Shifting in the shadows. Muffled but there all the same.

Footsteps?

The possibility had your heart rate growing faster by the second.

Not footsteps, just your mind playing tricks on you. You’re okay.

Unconsciously, your pace grew quicker, the patter of your shoes hitting the pavement sounding off below you. In the midst of your panic riddled thoughts you failed to register that you’d reached your destination.

An audible sigh escaped your lips as you observed the towering building with gratitude.

You kept up the hastened strides, reaching your apartment in good time. The time between stepping through the threshold of the abode and when your head hit your pillow was a blur―but really those monotonous details weren’t all that imperative.

As much as you wanted to get a good night's sleep, your subconscious had other plans. You reached the state of deep slumber that you desired, but it was riddled with offending nightmares.

Dark looming figures in the corner of your eyes, disappearing when you tried to get a good look at them. Running from something that placed a deep set fear into your very being, despite not having even seen what the atrocity was.

It left you to wake in a cold, sticky feeling sweat. Disheveled and disoriented, the time didn’t quite matter―wanting only for the feeling of trepidation to dissipate so you can return to a hopefully more peaceful sleep.

_____

Keys clattered loudly on the glass countertop of the side table in the entryway as Shouta haphazardly emptied his pocket’s contents. The sound of a running shower could be heard on the floor above him, making the presence of his boisterous partner known. He removed the heavy combat boots of his hero costume and lazily sauntered to the shared bedroom.

By the time he got there the shower had turned off, and he occupied himself with changing out of his attire for something less restricting in wait for the blond to make an appearance.

He’d just finished getting settled when Hizashi exited the attached washroom to their bedroom, hair still damp and lightly soaking the t-shirt he’d thrown on. “Well, don’t keep me waiting’”

The voice hero leaned against the headboard of their bed, “She didn’t have any plans, I watched her walk straight home after her shift and she never left the apartment either.”

Hizashi’s usually persistently bright smile faltered, “Ah...she probably forgot about them or something.”

“Do you really believe that?”

The disappointment was evident in the blond’s face, “Would she really just lie to us like that, even though we’re tryin’ to help her?”

The erasure hero sighed, “She’s self-destructive, it wouldn’t be the first time we’ve seen her put herself in danger without second thought.”

“God, Shou’―and she’s always shakin’ like a leaf. I don’t even think the poor thing realizes she’s doin’ it either.”

Shouta looked to the ceiling for a moment as if searching for an answer that would please his partner, “We can try and bring it up with her―see if there’s a reason behind all this.”

“And what if she lies to us again, huh? I can’t keep watching her hurt herself babe.”

At that the erasure hero stood up from his position on the bed, making his way over to the washroom in hopes of a shower relaxing his nerves. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. Let’s just see how dinner goes first, okay?”

“But what if she never tells us what’s goin’ on? I mean she’s already avoiding us for christ’s sake, what’s to stop her from―”

“If anything happens we’ll deal with it ‘Zashi. I don’t want to hear anything more of it until after we sit down with her, got it?” He paused at the doorway as emphasis, waiting for his partner's agreement on the matter.

“Yeah okay, sorry.”

“Don’t be, I care about her too, remember?” With that he closed the door before his partner could add to the conversation.

_____

When you did finally wake up from that hellish night, almost entirely riddled with disturbing dreams, you were left with a lingering feeling of dread. A pit in your stomach that remained persistent no matter how much you tried to think of something other than the incomprehensible yet sickening scenarios that unwillingly played out inside your head.

Looking at your phone didn’t help you settle into a more agreeable state either.

It was just past midday―giving you roughly five hours until you had to pull yourself together to sit through what was hopefully the last encounter with the two heroes.

For now however, you listened to the sound of the birds chirping outside your window―it was always easier to get lost in your surroundings than actively trying to solve your own issues.

Maybe by the time you had to leave you’d feel better. But even if you didn’t, the dull ache of ailment was always persistent in your life in one way or another―so what was one more problem?

End of Part 4

_____

taglist: @roseloverofpastels @shinsous-eye-bags @tjhonoluluprezstitch626 @pekusofixus @riarora @glitterypinkkitty

#yandere bnha #yandere erasermic #yandere eraserhead #yandere present mic #yandere my hero academia #yandere shouta aizawa #yandere hizashi yamada #yandere mha

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whiskynottea · 5 years

Photo

An Interruption in the 1st Law of Thermodynamics.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 22, Chapter 23, Chapter 24, Chapter 25, Chapter 26, Chapter 27, Chapter 28, Chapter 29, Chapter 30, Chapter 31, Chapter 32, Chapter 33, Chapter 34, Chapter 35, Chapter 36, Chapter 37, Chapter 38, Chapter 39, Chapter 40, Chapter 41, Chapter 42, Chapter 43, Chapter 44, Chapter 45, Chapter 46, Chapter 47, Chapter 48, Chapter 49, Chapter 50, Chapter 51 Chapter 52, Chapter 53, Chapter 54, Chapter 55, Chapter 56

AO3

Thank you @theministerskat for your beta! ❤️

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Chapter 57. Juggling and Swimming

Jugglers.

People skilled enough to throw three, four, five balls into the air, and with swift and precise maneuvers of their hands, keep them flying over their head. Easily. While smiling.

I remember watching them as a child, open-mouthed, mesmerized. I always kept my eyes on the fast-moving balls, as if studying their hands would steal the magic away. As a consequence, I never tried juggling myself. I was sure that I would drop the little balls -- or lemons, I had seen a guy juggling at the side of the road using the yellowest lemons once -- even before throwing them up in the first place.

Maybe if I had tried to juggle before, my life at university would be easier. Because it felt like juggling. I often found myself lying on my bed after midnight with my eyes closed, not because I sought sleep, but because I was trying to imagine how I would manage to keep all the tasks I had undertaken -- my very own lemons -- successfully flying around me and not send them crashing to the ground.

If I finish this essay on Tuesday night, and then start with the presentation for Dr. Raymond after Wednesday’s practical…

No.

If I first work on the presentation, on Monday…

Shit. We have the ‘Dissection Drinks’ on Monday night. I can’t miss it again.

No matter how I tried to schedule my tasks, my lemons were one too many.

Jenny had called me twice that week, and both times I had texted back, explaining that I was in the middle of a lecture and I would call her later. Texts had never been Jenny’s preferred means of communication. Which was more than odd, since she had to be the only Gen Z-er who hated texts. With practicals after my lecture and heading to the library to prepare for the tutorials after that, later had become tomorrow, and tomorrow became the day after.

Don’t forget to call Jenny, I would think to myself at the most irrelevant and inconvenient times. Tomorrow morning. I will call her tomorrow. Before she comes down to Oxford herself and I have to justify the radio silence to Jenny face-to-face.

With Joe things were different. He demanded pictures from my college, my dorm, and my textbooks, so we could compare our respective medical schools and start bickering about whose university was better. It was utterly ridiculous and we both knew it -- since mine was the Oxford University and there was no real competition, to begin with. Not that Joe would ever agree with that notion. We usually texted when I was in the library and ended up writing in caps, our conversation nothing more than ludicrous arguments. I had choked more than once in my desperate attempt to swallow my laughter, but it was more difficult to pretend that I wasn’t aware of the irritated glances shot at me from my fellow students who were trying to study in silence. To Gail’s utter despair, Joe kept arguing with me even when they were together, and on top of that, he tried to pull her into the debate. When Gail grabbed his phone and started talking New York bagels and pancakes, I knew the conversation was over.

Apart from feeling totally overwhelmed by the workload, life at Oxford was good. More than good. Mary and I got along fine, and when we weren’t deep in the library researching for the essays we had to prepare for Dr. Hildegard’s or Dr. Raymond’s tutorials, we had late nights together with Malva and Davie, drinking beers and discussing professors and medics from other colleges. Davie had proposed we call ourselves the very humble ‘Lifesavers’, while I was inclined more towards Malva’s ‘Where’s the Finish’. We settled for ‘Four Angry Pencils’ and we were very proud of our little team.

Texting with Jamie was a constant. He was becoming more and more stressed as his meet in New Jersey approached, and I pulled out all my feel good moves to calm him down. Silly, sweet gifs in the middle of the day, ridiculous voice messages, goofy selfies... We stopped calling in the morning because he was literally running to the pool the moment he woke, and we kept our conversations short at night because he was usually exhausted and needed sleep. No matter how much I smiled or played the fool, he was getting more distant as the days passed by.

“Ye don’t understand, Claire,” he would say, again and again, even though I insisted that I did understand. “It’s very important to do well in this meet.”

I would spend the rest of the call reassuring him that I knew how much the meet meant to him and that he would do great, until at last, he would mumble that I was right and he shouldn’t be so nervous, but that he couldn’t help it. By the time we would say goodnight, he would become my sweat Scot again, sure of himself and his abilities. Until the next morning.

The Wolverines departed for New Jersey on a rainy Tuesday -- or at least it was drizzling in Oxford. When he was with his teammates, Jamie fell back into being much closer to his old self. He was sending pictures of himself and John making silly faces or smiling like loons, and when he called, his voice sounded aloof, unconcerned. I wasn’t sure whether he strived to maintain a cool facade in front of the others or if he really relaxed around them. I could see that the strain back on his face, however, a frown establishing itself between his eyebrows, the moment he was alone.

“No matter what happens tomorrow, know that we are very proud of you and that won’t change,” I told him the night before the competition and saw him heaving a deep sigh, his chest deflating.

“What if I fail, Claire? What if I’m not as good as they thought I would be? I can’t continue here without the scholarship and I don’t want to go back to Scotland like that.”

I looked him in the eye and put on my most serious face. “Jamie,” I intoned, trying to keep my voice harsh on purpose. “Stop doing that. It’s not fair! You’re doing a disservice to yourself, can’t you see that?”

“What if --”

“There are no what-ifs. I’ll have none of that,” I announced as if I was his mother and he was asking for another scoop of ice-cream. “You will go out there, and you will swim. Remember what I had written on your birthday cake last year?”

I could still see the dark blue buttercream letters if I closed my eyes. Not my most beautiful work, but it had served its purpose.

“Just keep swimming,” Jamie replied, and I could swear I saw a smile crack on his lips.

“Just keep swimming, Jamie. I’ve seen you swim, I’ve been there. You swim because you love to. And you’re good at it because when you’re in the pool, you feel free. Don’t be afraid, you stupid Scot! Live it! Go out there and enjoy yourself!”

He rubbed his face with his palms, then ran a hand through his hair. “Ye’re right, I guess.”

“I am. I always am,” I amended. “You should know it by now.”

Jamie snorted, but didn’t disagree. He was smiling now. A wide, toothy smile. “I will think of you the entire time,” I said, softly. “You won’t be alone, I promise.”

Jamie nodded but didn’t speak.

“I won’t be in the bleachers but I will be thinking of you,” I said again and felt the guilt painfully squeezing my heart. Jamie needed me and I had chosen to stay in Oxford. Not that it had been the wrong decision. It just hadn’t been the right one, either.

“I ken, babe. ‘Tis irrational, this worry.” The camera lost focus as Jamie moved to lie in bed. When his beautiful blue eyes were back on mine, I gave him my biggest smile.

“It is. Don’t let it eat at you. But first, you need to get some rest, and I need to go to bed because we have Hildegard’s tutorial tomorrow and it’s a pain in the arse.”

We ended the call and I returned to my room, my heavy steps the only sound in the corridors. Speaking with Jamie before he went to bed had made me Oxford’s resident nocturnal animal. I fell asleep the moment my head sank oin to the pillow and dreamed of swimming pools, wet auburn curls, and finishing times.

Jamie was more cheerful the following day, but I could tell he still wasn’t completely himself. I went on with my pep talk as I had prepared it, trying to boost his confidence in a break between two practicals, and promised again that I would be thinking of him. Before hanging up I risked sending him a ridiculously loud kiss while wishing no one was around to hear it. I returned to the class keeping my head low, in case anyone would identify me as the silly girl kissing a screen.

I hadn’t wished Jamie good luck, because I planned on calling him again right before his race. It was our little tradition since we had been in Scotland. He would say “I will imagine that I’m swimming towards you, Sassenach,” and I would reply, “Come find me, then, ridiculous Scot.”

It was cheesier than I could usually handle, but Jamie insisted that he loved the way I blushed every time before I said my part. And that was the reason he demanded we hold onto our own version of ‘good luck’.

I spent a good part of the practical checking the time, counting down the hours to Jamie’s race. It was two hours later when Mary stood in front of me, asking if I was ready for Hildegard’s tutorial. I was ready to nod when I checked my bag and realized I had forgotten the USB drive with our presentations back in the dorm. And like that, we found ourselves running in the rain, boots splashing through puddles and breaths hitching in our throats, frantic to get the flash drive and be back before the tutorial started.

We made it. We entered the class with our cheeks red, our hair matted on our faces and coats soaked in water, but we made it on time. Dr. Hildegard crooked an eyebrow but gestured towards two empty seats without any verbal comment, and I felt immensely grateful towards the taciturn professor.

The tutorial was amazing. Dr. Hildegard was so serious and collected, that she kept making jokes we only got when it was too late. She managed to stop Mary’s stuttering while she was a few slides in her presentation by subtly praising her work, and after mentioning a few points I should have addressed differently in mine, she concluded that it was one of the best presentations she had seen from a fresher. I beamed and nodded repeatedly my thanks before I found my voice to properly thank her.

When we left the tutorial, I realized that I had missed the time window for Jamie’s ‘good luck call’.

I had six unanswered calls and two texts on my phone.

Scot: We left the room and we’re heading to the pool.

Scot: Oh god, there are so many people here. I think the backstroke race is in fifteen minutes or so.

Scot: Sassenach?

Scot: A few minutes left, babe.

Scot: Where are you?

Scot: Claire? Where are you?

Scot: I’m going.

I wanted the earth to open beneath my feet and swallow me up. I had promised I would think of him during his race and instead I had been thinking of… physiology.

Not listening to what Mary was saying about our next tutorial, I called Jamie. It was an hour since I had received his last text and the race must be over now. He didn’t answer.

I called again. And again.

Feeling the tears rolling down my cheeks, I texted him.

Sassenach: How did it go?

It wasn’t enough.

Sassenach: I’m sorry I didn’t call.

Sassenach: I’m so, so, so sorry Jamie.

Sassenach: I was in Hildegard’s tutorial, and got carried away.

I waited for a minute after that, then called him again. Nothing. The initial plan was to leave the class at some point to call Jamie, but with presenting my work and then listening to the others... I had forgotten.

Sassenach: Jamie, please pick up your phone.

It wasn’t that terrible, was it? I didn’t say good luck before a race. A single race. I had talked to him that morning and every day before that. He knew that I would think of him…

I paused on this thought. I had said that I would think of him, but I didn’t. I wasn’t thinking of him at the time of the race. I had promised.

Pulling my hood over my head I walked back to the dorm, my eyes fixed on my phone.

Sassenach: I’m sorry.

Jamie needed me and I had disappointed him. And even though calling him for one last time didn’t seem that important to me, it obviously was important for him. I had messed up. Royally.

I entered my room and changed out of my clothes, but didn’t dare take a shower. He might reply at any moment. Maybe he hadn’t seen his phone yet. Maybe he was with the rest of the team, celebrating his victory. It wasn’t the end of the world.

As if there was a chance Jamie wouldn’t reply to my texts, no matter where he was.

It was irrational. He was irrational. I repeated that thought to myself, trying to smother the burning feeling that kept eating at my heart.

Jamie needed me and I hadn’t been there.

I wore an old t-shirt I had stolen from him when I visited Michigan and buried myself under the blankets. I unlocked my phone and kept looking at my screensaver. He was hugging me tight and we were both smiling at the camera.

It was just a call, it couldn’t be that bad. I had always been there. People make mistakes.

I looked at Jamie’s eyes in the picture, so slanted from his smile that I could barely see the blue in them. I called him again.

One more time.

And again.

Two hours had passed. I saw the lemons I had flying over my head, falling, crashing down.

I set my jaw, tried not to cry, and sent yet another text.

Sassenach: Call me. Please?

Chapter 58

#thermodynamics #the first law of thermodynamics #jamie x claire #high school AU #college AU #outlander fanfic #outlander fanfiction

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optimizche · 5 years

Text

One And Only You (Park Jinyoung/Reader)

Clusterfuck.

That was the only way to describe how your day was going.

Allow you to list the reasons.

Firstly, you hadn't had more than a grand total of two hours of sleep last night, as a result of which, you were exhausted beyond belief. And the only thing that seemed to help was consuming coffee like your life depended on it.

Secondly, you had recieved your grades for your latest assignment. And you had failed. Miserably. Resulting in your professor summoning you to his office and personally giving you an earful about how you needed to up your grades or else you were going to end up failing the semester.

And thirdly, you had just realized that you had another report due. Tomorrow. And you had only managed to finish half of the first draft.

Stressed out of your mind for all the aforementioned reasons, you sat in the library, your head in your hands, your tired, bloodshot eyes staring at your laptop. Listlessly reading through the half draft you had managed to write up.

Come on, you encouraged yourself. You can do this.

There was one, solitary silver lining to your day: tonight you were going to have a night in with your roommate. Park Jinyoung.

Now, Jinyoung and you. You two shared an equation that was equal parts easy and complicated.

Sure, he was your roommate, and had been for the past six months. And you both were great friends. You never fought, cooked together, cleaned together, paid for the utilities together. It was a running joke among your mutual friend circle that you and Nyoung (your nickname for him), lived less like roommates and more like a married couple. That is how well the two of you got along.

Which led you to the more complicated part of your relationship with Jinyoung. The obvious and ever growing sexual tension between you two. It sprung out of nowhere, in even the most innocuous situations.

He'd be going laundry and you'd walk into the laundry room with a basket full of your own clothes, only to stop in your tracks and drool over how peachy his ass looked in his sweatpants as he bent over, loading the machine with clothes. Or when you'd be getting out of the bathroom, freshly showered, a towel wrapped around your body and you'd catch him pausing to gawk at you while you made your way to your room. Or when you both would be having one of your epic Netflix marathons and you'd turn to grab a handful of cheese popcorn from your shared bucket, only to find him looking at you. And then his gaze would flit to your lips for a second, before catching your eyes. And you'd find yourself doing the same, silently admiring how plump and rosy his lips looked and how they'd feel against yours...

Neither of you had acted upon your desires. Yet.

Perhaps neither of you wanted to ruin the friendship that you had with the other.

Or perhaps he wasn't as interested in you as you thought. Perhaps you were overthinking. Misreading the signs.

Whatever it was, your friendship with Park Jinyoung remained just that. A friendship. Nothing more, nothing less.

And for the time-being, you were perfectly okay with it.

Thinking about him so much prompted you to reach out into the pocket of your jeans and pull out your cellphone.

You quickly typed out a text for him.

You (14:09): Hey, Nyoung! I'll be back by 6. You want me to pick up some jajangmyeon for you on the way back?

You knew that the black bean noodles from the deli round the block were his favourite. He could never say no to them.

He replied right back, your phone buzzing as the notification popped up. And your lips turned up into a grin. Yep, he couldn't say no to some jajangmyeon.

But when you picked up your phone and began to read his actual message, your smile vanished.

Nyoung (14:10): About tonight... I'm so sorry, princess. I won't be able to make it. I've gotta go to Jaebum's. Group assignment to complete.

Your heart fell upon reading the text and your eyes began to fill up with frustrated tears as you stared at his words.

Granted, crying over a cancelled night in was an overreaction on your part. But considering how crappy your day had been going so far, you had really been looking forward to a chilled night at home with Jinyoung.

You swallowed the sudden lump in your throat and began to type out a reply to Jinyoung, but your phone buzzed with the reception of another text.

It wasn't from Jinyoung.

Mark (14:12): Don't look so glum, pretty girl!

Your head shot up and you found Mark, sitting two tables away from you, his eyes on you.

When your gaze found his, he smiled.

A wave of warmth filled you up and you began to type a response to him instead.

You (14:13): Its been a shitty day, M.

He replied immediately.

Mark (14:13): I know, babe. I know. Anything I can do to make you feel better?

You smiled at your phone, reading his words. Mark Tuan was a classmate of yours. And he had the infamous reputation of being a fuckboy. But despite his notoriety, you knew him to be a really, really nice guy. And the fact that he had noticed your sadness, even from two tables away in this deathly silent library, it meant that he cared for you on some level.

Another text came from him.

Mark (14:15): You free tonight? Maybe we could go out and grab some drinks?

You replied immediately, jumping at the opportunity for hanging out with someone who could distract you from your worries. Especially after Jinyoung had bailed out on you.

You (14:16): I'm in. Name the time and place.

Looking up, you saw Mark read your message, a grin spreading across his own lips.

Mark (14:17): Perfect! I'll meet you outside the uni main gate at 7?

You quickly replied in the affirmative, your heart swelling with happiness. Perhaps tonight wasn't going to be a waste after all.

You were just about to keep your phone aside and return to your assignment when your phone vibrated again.

This time it was Jinyoung.

Nyoung (14:18): I'm really sorry, princess. Reply to me, please? You want me to pick up some chocolate ice-cream from Ben and Jerry's for you when I get back? Maybe we could have a late night movie session?

You knew that Jinyoung was genuinely feeling bad and was trying to compensate for cancelling on your night. But you really couldn't help the frustration that had been bubbling up inside you ever since he texted you to cancel.

You (14:19): Don't bother. I'm going out with Mark.

Your reply to him was curt. Clipped.

That should do it, you thought. That will show him.

And sure enough your phone began to buzz as texts from him began to pour in successively. You knew Jinyoung did not like Mark. But you liked him well enough. And you weren't going to let Jinyoung's dislike for Mark ruin tonight for you.

No sir.

You quickly silenced your phone and shoved it back into your pocket.

Taking in a deep breath and another long sip of your iced coffee, you returned to your class work.

______________________

The day hadn't turned out to be as bad as you had been expecting.

By the time 7 pm rolled around, you had finished typing out your essay and emailed it to your professor for submission.

And when you met Mark at the uni gate, your night became instantly better.

Mark had brought along Jackson and Bambam. And your quartet had decided to paint the town red.

You accompanied the boys to their favourite bar, proceeding to get completely sloshed. It was a riot. Lots of laughter and jokes. And the drinks kept flowing. The four of you bought rounds upon rounds and you didn't even remember how many glasses of tequila pineapple rum punch you had drunk.

Losing track of time with the boys was easy. And when all of you finally boarded an Uber, wasted beyond belief, you glanced at the little clock on the cab's dash.

2:56 am.

"Holy shit," you mumbled to yourself before turning to the guys.

"Guys, can you drop me home?" you asked and they all groaned.

"Nooo, ___________," Jackson said, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. "Don't go yet! We've gotta go to that diner, remember? The waffles and burgers are to die for!"

While the idea of some good and greasy food, especially after drinking so much, felt tempting, you wanted to go home. To the comfort of your own bed.

"I'm sorry guys," you said, apologetically, leaning into Mark as the car took a turn around the corner. "I've gotta go..."

______________

It was around thirty minutes later that you finally reached home.

Turning the key in your front door lock, you opened it and entered, before quietly shutting the door behind you. You didn't want to wake Jinyoung.

You kicked off your heels. The balls of your feet were in pain after being in heels all night. Just as you turned to walk into the kitchen to grab a bottle of cold water, you heard a low voice.

"So. You're finally back," came Jinyoung's voice and you jumped in surprise.

You let out a starled squeak and turned around. "You scared me!" you said, placing a hand on your chest to steady your hammering heartbeat. "Why are to still up?"

He walked toward you and you noticed, in the dim light of the living room, that he was wearing only his sweatpants, that hung low on hips, and a deep frown set between his brows. He looked fucking delicious. But you pushed away that thought.

"I couldn't sleep. I was worried about you," he said.

You rolled your eyes at that. "I can take care of myself," you replied.

Side-stepping him, you were about to head into the kitchen for some water. But his hand around your wrist stopped you.

He whirled you around and pushed you against the nearest wall, eyes suddenly filled with an anger that you hadn't ever seen before.

"What the fuck, Nyoung?"

"That's what you wore tonight?" he asked, voice dropping an octave as he eyed your tight, low-necked top. "Were you trying to impress Mark? Lure him into your bed?"

You didn't know where this sudden possessiveness was coming from. And in your drunken state, your defiance rose tenfold.

"So what if I was?" you replied spitefully. "You didn't want to spend time with me. I'm not going to sit at home waiting for you. You're not my boyfrien-"

You were never able to finish your tirade because his lips came crashing down upon yours, silencing you effectively.

The pressure of his lips upon yours was fierce and possessive. And when his tongue coaxed your lips apart to lick into your mouth, you could taste vodka on him.

He was drunk too.

Your hands threaded into his hair and you pulled him to yourself your mind screaming at you all the while.

It is happening,the voice inside your head roared in triumph. It was finally happening.

Eager to give as much as you got, you kissed him back, reciprocating his ardour. Tongue lashing against his, lips moving together with his, teeth biting down on his plush bottom lip.

When it became absolutely necessary to breathe, you broke away from him and he seized the opportunity to grasp your head by the roots, tilting your head back to press open-mouthed kisses into your exposed neck.

You clung to his shoulders, your knees weakening steadily.

"Fucking hell... I need you..." Jinyoung groaned against your skin.

"My bed?" you asked, and he nodded, grasping your hand and pulling you along.

Once you were in your bedroom, you both turned to each other, hands frantically working to undress the other between kisses.

He practically tore away your clothes, an urgency in his motions that mimicked your own.

Once you both were finally bare before each other, Jinyoung pushed you down on your bed, where you landed with a huff.

He ran a hand through his hair, eyes hungrily raking over your body. Appraising you.

"How are you so beautiful, princess?" he said, crawling up the length of your body, settling on his knees between your legs.

"You're not quite bad yourself, Mr. Park," you replied, eyeing his broad shoulders. His strong arms. His sculpted abs. His muscular thighs. And his-

Oh god, he was magnificent.

Between his legs, his length stood erect, rigid with arousal. Tip flushed a deep red, oozing precum.

Raising a hand, you took him into your palm, stroking him leisurely. All the way from base to tip.

"Princess..." he groaned, teeth biting on his lip. "Don't. I want to be inside you."

You knew exactly what he felt. Because you felt it too. Your need for him was apparent in the wetness soaking you, dripping onto the sheets beneath you.

Both of you had wanted this for so long that right now, you just wanted to get to it.

Languid explorations of each other's bodies could wait.

Right now, you just needed each other.

"Fuck me, Jinyoung," you said to him, spreading your legs on either side of his hips. Showing him how turned on you were for him. How wet you were for him.

Wasting no time, he delved in with two fingers, making you hiss in delight while he explored you. He was testing you, seeing if you were indeed prepared to receive him.

Whether it was the effect of the alcohol, or the effect of him, or both, you were drenched. And his fingers slid into you with minimal resistance, your slickness granting him an almost effortess access while he breached you with two fingers.

"Jinyoung," you whined, unable to keep your restlessness reined in. While his fingers felt good inside you, it was his cock you were after. "Get inside me. Now."

He chuckled at the needy inflection of your voice, but withdrew his fingers immediately. He didn't want to tease you very much right now either, wanting to be inside you as well.

With one hand, he grasped the base of his length, aligning himself with you, his other hand holding you in place, resting on your hip.

When he sank into you, you both let out an wordless sound of absolute relief. After pining for each other for months, here you were, finally one.

There was the slightest sliver of pain, while your walls became accustomed to his size, but by the time he completely bottomed out, you were in heaven.

"Fuck..." you breathed, letting your head fall back onto your pillow. The feeling of him, hot and throbbing, nestled snugly within your sheath, it was already too much. "Move, Nyoung..."

He let out an airy laugh, and began to chastise you condescendingly. "Patience is a virtue, princess-ah!"

You never allowed him to finish his sentence, clenching hard around him, causing him to choke on his words.

"So that's how you want to play, you brat?" he asked you, withdrawing from you, almost all the way until the tip. Before surging back in.

"Yes..." you moaned, when his hips snapped into yours, a sudden burst of pleasure erupting within you.

Jinyoung had a dark, determined look on his face and he did seized your wrists, pinning them down on either side of your head while he hovered above you, his thrusts rough and deep. Hitting all the right places within you.

"Yes, just like that!" you cried in pleasure, relishing in the vigorous friction that his cock created against your velvety walls with every thrust.

Your walls sucked at his girth with an eagerness that made his breath hitch. "Shit, princess. You're so tight. Fuck."

The sounds of wet flesh slapping and smacking on each other filled the room, accompanied by your moans and his groans.

He could feel his restraint slipping away with the way you clenched around him and with a deep growl, he released your wrists, falling atop you.

"I won't be able to last long," he groaned into your neck, burying his face into your hair. "Tell me you're close, princess."

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, nails digging into his skin. "I am. I am," you sighed.

It took a total of four more thrusts for him to finish, and he shot his load inside you, moaning your name over and over again.

The moment his sticky, hot seed spilled within you, you felt yourself let go as well, your walls spasming around him, milking him for every last drop he could give.

For a long while, you both laid there, intertwined in each other's arms, thinking about what you had just done. Panting. Gasping.

Eventually, he pulled away from you, lying down beside you.

His eyes never left your face.

"Do you regret it?" he asked.

You shook your head, reaching out to cup his cheek. "I've wanted this for so long."

He grinned widely upon hearing your admission. "Me too."

Leaning in, you pressed your lips against his for a chaste kiss, before pulling away. "I'm tired."

He smiled fondly, stroking your sweat-dampened hair away from your face.

"Go to sleep, princess," he whispered. "When you wake up tomorrow, I'm not going to let you leave this bed. I'm going to take my time with you."

You placed a kiss on his cheek as an affirmation. There was no other place you wanted to be.

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dibs4ever · 5 years

Text

Dick Grayson Fatherhood

Dick loved being a father, honestly, he never put much thought or fantasy into being a dad one day but here he was an actual father for real and he loved it. It scared him. He worried constantly that somehow some baddie would figure out Nightwing had a kid and hold him against him. Or perhaps a criminal would want to kidnap Bruce Wayne/Commissioner Gordon’s Grandson And he acting as Nightwing will have to jump into action without leading on that they had his kid.

He’d have to hold back from killing someone if they as much of harmed his son.

His favorite thing to do with Nathan was to see how bendy he was. It sounded weird but it was the truth. At almost 8 months old Nathan was probably going to take his first steps any day. The doctor said he was advanced and that his keen balance skills might have spurred from his acrobatic genes. He loved seeing bits of himself in his son, he also loved seeing bits of Barbara, like the way he crinkled up his nose when he was concentrating. Or how quickly he picked up on baby sign language. He was also super attached to Barbara, which everyone joked he got from Dick.

Barbara. She was an amazing mother. He couldn’t have asked for someone better to be the mother of his child. He never imagined she’d be so attentive but she was. In fact, he almost got in a fight with Roy last week after he made a remark about how Barbara was “almost a hippy” mom. He knew he meant it as a joke but it still aggravated him.

“Batman says to go to 46th and 10th” Barbara pulled him out of his thoughts

He looked toward the bat-clad girl, he loved her so much. He wanted to be with her so badly, but he needed to respect her and her wishes to keep their co-parenting platonic.

Currently, they were on patrol together for the first time in over a year. Before he faked his death, before he returned to find her with his 6-week old son, before he bought an apartment for them to live in.

They had tried not to patrol together, wanting one of them to be with their son at all times. But tonight called for it. Joker had apparently set multiple hidden bombs off around Gotham set to go off at 1 am. Nightwing and Batgirl has to deactivate one on the West Side Village Apartment building. One of the largest in Gotham. Now they just needed to locate it and deactivate it.

“Why don’t you check the basement and I’ll check the lobby?” Batgirl suggested

Dick glanced at the clock “BG it’s 12:30”

Barbara nodded “I know Hunk Wonder, of we don’t find anything we meet back at the 3rd floor at 12:45.”

Nightwing smiled at her nickname “Right, don’t wanna cause a rage of panic unless we absolutely have to. “

Barbara nodded and they both jumped into separate directions

Dick searched and searched in hopes of finding the bomb but had no luck. He heard Batgirls communicator buzz in

“Hey Wing”

“Hey Red, I hope you’re calling to tell me you deactivated a bomb. Really don’t want to deal with panic stricken civilians”

“Unfortunately not”

Dick sighed glancing at the time-12:40 “Looks like we’re evacuating a building. Meet you in 5” he signed off before running to the stairs.

They opted to pull the fire alarm pinning it as the best way to get people out as quickly as possible. That didn’t mean they still didn’t have to convince some people to leave. Dick was aiding an elderly woman he had just spent the last 5 minutes convincing to leave. (She has only agreed when he told her he’d help her with carrying her cats out.) He passed Barbara as she was walking back into the building.

“Where are you going?” He asked

Barbara looked at him “Back in, doing a last go around”

Dick shook his head “It’s 12:55, get out of the building “

Barbara shook her head “No you “

Dick sighed “Babs I’ll do the last walk through” he handed the woman her cats and pushed her gently out

Barbara looked at him “Dick please one of us has to go out and make sure they are safe. For well you know who.”

Dick nodded “Which is why I’m telling you to get out now Barbara Please I’m begging you. He needs you more than me”

Barbara shook her head “I’m not leaving you”

“And I’m not leaving here till I know the building is empty” Dick said

Barbara looked at the time 12:56 “Well I guess that makes two of us” she thought perhaps he would agree to come out with her if she stood her ground. This had been her plan all along. She knew he’d want to keep going back and forth into the building. Testing his limits with time. She didn’t want to take a chance of losing him again. But he was walking back up the stairs again. She followed behind

Dick looked at her “Babs please”

She shook her head “No”

Dick bit his lip, “Damn it” he mumbled

Before she knew it he had scooped her up and was running with her out the door. He set her down “Stay” he growled before running back in. Which surprised her. She thought she had him.

She attempted to run back in but was stopped when the building exploded “No!” She screamed falling to her knees where she began sobbing. Then through the rubble, Dick walked back out. In his arms was a cat. The same old lady he had helped out last rushed forward he was able to hand it to her before falling to his knees. Barbara rushed over to him

“I promised-I’d save all her cats if she got out” he whispered

Barbara held his face in her hands, whipping off the soot that covered his cheeks “Oh Grayson” she whispered

“I don’t break promises” he started to chuckle but then began coughing

Barbara stood pulling his arm over her shoulders and helping him up “Let’s get you home so I can give you a check up”

Barbara did just as she promised after he showered she was ready to patch him up and give him a breathing treatment to help clear his lungs after some other treatments she ordered him to go to bed, which he wasn’t complaining about since he was honestly exhausted. He was awakened when his bedroom door creaked open. Although the room was dark he knew who it was. She waited till she crawled into the bed beside him to speak “Checking in on me?” He grinned

Barbara didn’t say anything for a while “You scared me today”

Dick was quiet for a moment “I’m sorry”

She took a deep breath “I thought I’d lost you again”

“Babs I get into this mode when I’m Nightwing and I don’t even know what I’m doing. I think about that now and think how careless it was so no need to lecture me.”

She nodded “I just-all these thoughts flashed before my eyes”

“When I saw the clock hit 1 it did for me too.”

Barbara looked at him “Like?”

Dick looked down at her “Like you moving on, marring some normal guy, and Nathan calling him daddy”

Barbara shook her head “That would never happen”

“Yeah your right, I already told Jason if anything happened to me he should marry you and raise my son“

Barbara grimaced at the thought “Did you really?”

Dick chuckled “No I didn’t Babs. But still the thought of another man raising him hurt”

Barbara hugged his waist resting her chin on his shoulder “That wouldn’t ever happen, Dick. Your an amazing Father to him. I can't even stand the thought of another man acting as his dad.”

Dick looked at her “Oh yeah? You don’t ever want to be with another man again? You just want to be single the rest of your life?”

Barbara scrunched up her nose confused at first but then realized what he was saying “I-I never thought of it like that”

Dick smiled “If its any conciliation I can’t see myself ever finding anyone to be a sizable mother to how amazing you are”

Barbara smiled

Dick smiled “So if we don’t want to be with anyone else, we’re both living together and we both have a baby together than why don’t we-“

Barbara shook her head “Dick”

Dick shifted “Come on Babs think about it”

She sighed

He shifted so that they were facing each other “The fact that you and I both don’t want to date anyone else. The fact that our son is so well adjusted with us together. We’re already living together-very happily I might add. We’re basically a couple who doesn’t show any affection toward each other.”

Barbara looked up in thought “But Dick, what would people assume.”

Dick shook his head “Who gives a flying leap about what people would assume. I love you and I know you still love me. We don’t want to be with other people so what’s the use in us being miserable and lonely when we can both just stop being stubborn and be together” he whispered pressing their foreheads together “If it helps we can keep the whole thing under wraps till we’re ready to tell people”

Barbara laughed lightly “Yeah cause keeping it under wraps from my dad worked so well last time. After you came back we kept from my dad that you were Nate’s father for what? A week?”

Dick chuckled “A week and 3 days thank you very much” he booped her nose then fell back to his back and thought back on the day “Grayson why do you keep calling my grandson Chavo? He said”

Barbara smiled and began playing with his hand “Well Commissioner, you see its Romani my father used to call me that” Barbara spoke the line Dick had said

Dick ran his free hand through Barbara’s hair “Oh really what does it mean?” He continued the story

She shook her head “Then you had to come out and say ‘Son’”

Dick nodded “And it all clicked”

Barbara rolled so she was resting on top of him “He wasn’t mad but he wasn’t happy he said, ‘What? When did this happen, I thought you two were just friends “

Dick laughed “You can yell at me all you want for slipping up with the son thing but at least I’m not the one who responded to that with ‘Seriously Dad, I thought you were the detective. We haven’t kept our hands off each other in years”

Barbara laughed “Hey its the truth” she ran a hand through his hair “He still loves all three of us though regardless. Unlike my grandmother” she rolled off him and lied beside him again.

Dick shifted “I really wish you’d make up with her. She’s the only Great Grandparent Nay Nay has.”

Barbara shook her head “Dick when we took him to the retirement home to meet her 5 months ago she took one look at you and before she even met you all she saw was your skin tone. Then when she figured out her great-grandson was half Romani all she did was ridicule us”

Dick was quiet “It’s just the generations she grew up in. Your dad stood up for us” he pointed

“She was wrong though. Everywhere I go people tell me how beautiful he is. I felt so bad the other day Artemis and I went to the park with the kids and this couple kept commenting on how cute Nathan was. How much they loved his eyes and his tan skin, how his smile was so beautiful. Meanwhile Arty was sitting there with the twins. Her and Wally’s kids are really cute too” Barbara made sure to address

Dick nodded “Yeah they are” he leaned forward “But you and I-we really did make a beautiful child together didn’t we?” She hadn’t retracted so he nuzzled her neck. And when she didn’t retract to that he began planted soft kisses in the crook of her neck

Barbara sighed “Okay”

He lifted his head up “Okay?”

“Let’s give us a go again. If not for us let’s do it for Nate. He deserves to have his parents together. The least we can do is tell him we at least tried to be together” she reached up running her fingers through his hair. A giddy smile growing on Dick’s face before he leaned forward placing a passionate kiss on her lips

“Does this mean I get to move into the master bedroom with you?” He asked pulling away slightly

Barbara grinned “We’ll see Lover, just keep kissing me” she said before pulling him back to her.

#dick grayson #barbara gordon #nightwing #batgirl #dickbabs #batfamily #batfam headcanons #batfam fanfiction #batfam au

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wildfangz · 5 years

Photo

@liliithvatore tagged me in that simself thing thats been goin around DAYS ago but here it finally is! also thank you for the tag this was fun :-]

I tag @slythersim @thelurgoyf @seoulchii @weicyn @solitasims @daisydezem @raha-plays-the-sims if they want to do it & anyone that just wants to do it in general! message me and I’ll even @ u directly if u want.

anyway lets DO THIS shitload of questions under the cut u’ve been warned!!!

1. what is your name?

julian

2. what is your nickname?

jewel, jules

3. birthday?

oct 26th

4. what is your favorite book series?

percy jackson and the olympians will probably always own my heart & soul

5. do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

yes & yes. tho i do think a lot of alien sightings and conspiracy theories and what not are bullshit

6. who is your favorite author?

maggie stiefvater probably? also cornelia funke but its been years since ive read anything by her so i cant be sure BUT i loved inkheart & the thief lord so much

7. what is your favorite radio station?

ummm when i listen to the radio at all i kinda just switch between two rock stations and our popular music station.

8. what is your favorite flavor of anything?

blue raspberry !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tasty and i love a blue tongue

9. what word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful?

cool. or bitchin’. i play it simple

10. what is your current favorite song?

hands like houses - revive

11. what is your favorite word?

roulette and inhibition which i never get to use either as much as i want !

12. what was the last song you listened to?

emarosa - givin’ up ! its a bop!

13. what tv show would you recommend for everybody to watch?

the new she-ra on netflix its so good. and gay

14. what is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down?

moana. its also like the only movie i dont have trouble getting thru despite how many times ive already seen it

15. do you play video games?

16. what is your biggest fear?

idk... being inherently unlovable i guess n ending up alone? also spiders !

17. what is your best quality, in your opinion?

im fairly open-minded and laid back. Unless someones being like, purposely nasty or something I generally don’t get defensive or aggressive. also a lot of little quirks that piss others off dont bother me im very u do u as long as its not actually harming anyone and ive had people tell me this makes it easier to open up to me so thats probably my best quality....

18. what is your worst quality, in your opinion?

....at the same time though i do get very sensitive when faced w/ criticism even if its of the fair variety when its not phrased really gently for various reasons and i dont like that. especially since I have a tendency to not even talk to people about it. I’ll just immediately start distancing myself. also other than that i think overall I have a really high tolerance lvl but if you cross that line I hold a grudge like a motherfucker

9. do you like cats or dogs better?

cats! dogs are good too but cats are a lot easier for me to handle...and quieter generally but even when they’re loud cat sounds dont get to me quite as much as barks do

20. what is your favorite season?

autumn but im starting to really like summer for some reason? wack :/

21. are you in a relationship?

nope

22. what is something you miss from your childhood?

the lack of responsibility, probably. that sounds real bad lmao but for me its like...I know I’ve grown in various ways over the years but I also feel like so many of my experiences, my trauma, my mental health has held me back and I don’t think I’m mentally where I should be for my age. so all the responsibility of adulthood is just..really overwhelming for me sometimes, even though ive been given a pass from certain aspects of it and the rest is pretty simple its the idea!!!!

23. who is your best friend?

my ex

24. what is your eye color?

25. what is your hair color?

26. who is someone you love?

my mom

27. who is someone you trust?

not really anyone rn unfortunately...would like 2 work on that

28. who is someone you think about often?

are my OCs a fair answer because i am always thinking about my babies.....

29. are you currently excited about/for something?

my favorite webcomic (that also has two of my all time favorite characters in it) just came back!! the artist disappeared back in 2015 like the day after I binge-read the whole fucking thing & i was so disappointed but its BACK and 2018 has been redeemed

30. what is your biggest obsession?

sims probably! i could talk about anything relating to it for hours

31. what was your favorite tv show as a child?

there were so damn many its hard to even think and figure out the most notable ones...i really, really liked teen titans though?

32. who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone?

my ex, again

33. are you superstitious?

not terribly so but somewhat. I take certain things as signs and I mean I do believe in astrology & such to a degree

34. do you have any unusual phobias?

i used to be afraid of mirrors but thats all i can think of and its not even a thing anymore...the only other thing is tornadoes but i dont think its unusual. but it definitely sucks for me ‘cause i live in tornado alley!

35. do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?

behind it....like taking pretty pictures and dont like ppl capturing my image 2 film

36. what is your favorite hobby?

sims.....also singing!!! and drawing!!!! video editing!!!!!!!!! the works

37. what was the last book you read?

The Dream Thieves....havent finished it though because last time i went to read it a spider was lying in wait and im traumatized

38. what was the last movie you watched?

coco i think???

39. what musical instruments do you play, if any?

drums, various other percussion instruments, and violin mainly

40. what is your favorite animal?

ferrets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

41. what are your top 5 favorite tumblr blogs that you follow?

uhhhhh @bratsims @liliithvatore @cabsim @wildlyminiaturesandwich @keysims pls dont feel bad if i didnt include u these were just the first to pop into my head and ive been following some of them since I first made my blog!! and have kept up with their stories completely and enjoy them etc check them OUT !

42. what superpower do you wish you had?

shapeshifting!!! dysphoria? gone. ugliness? gone. want to morph into a fucked up clown and scare people when they realize all the classic clown features are a real actual part of my face? possible!

43. when and where do you feel most at peace?

chillin’ at the pool in summer during the part of the day when no ones there.... swimming is always relaxing 2 me then i love just resting under the sun and drying off afterwards especially since we have a little pond nearby and i can hear the water! its nice

44. what makes you smile?

always and without fail? interacting with anyone i have a crush on. i’ll look like a dope the whole time

45. what sports do you play, if any?

i used 2 play basketball a lot. Like not seriously but it was a thing

46. what is your favorite drink?

dr pepper and monster energy (original flavor) pumps through my veins at this point. we love a carbonated beverage

47. when was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody?

two years ago for my ex and I’s first year anniversary... I never got it mailed but I did at least take a picture of it (with included caption because my handwriting is atrocious). i was very up front about being a romantic and see heres the PROOF

48. are you afraid of heights?

nope! very excited by them actually

49. what is your biggest pet peeve?

i cant stand passive aggressive behavior. my stance is either get over it or quit acting like a bitch because otherwise im just going to ignore you thats the scorpio way (in all seriousness I really, really do recommend not putting up with it and ignoring it until they decide to be up front with you. it can be exhausting constantly reading into conversations and its not healthy for you or them. if they have something to say they need to learn to talk about it properly, and that lack of social skills is not ever on you)

50. have you ever been to a concert?

yep! i think about....six or so? i love them...which is really funny im autistic and EVERYTHING about them should freak me out and they do in other circumstances but at a show i just live for it

51. are you vegan/vegetarian?

nope! ive thought before id like to go vegetarian...but i couldnt do it with my health problems. also i love shrimp too much

52. when you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

ive always wanted to do something creative! when i was rlly young I thought a lot about singing and acting and writing in particular...all things im still interested in.... also i wanted to be a dictator ages 4-7 because i told my mom i wanted to be president of the world and make people do what i say and she said “honey thats a dictator not a president”. i then made that known at school and that turned into a situation!

53. what fictional world would you like to live in?

pokemon universe or bust.

54. what is something you worry about?

never being able to do things i want to do or catching up with others because of my disabilities

55. are you scared of the dark?

yes but a reasonable amount i think

56. do you like to sing?

yes :]

57. have you ever skipped school?

yes i used to play sick a LOT and as my parents caught onto it id even go all out to convince them. i was good at school but i hated it so much

58. what is your favorite place on the planet?

dunno! malls maybe i love shopping and looking at material objects i wish to own

59. where would you like to live?

oregon! portland in particular thats been my dream for a few years now

60. do you have any pets?

a cat! he lives with my dad & grandma though...hes grown up there and likes going outside so I felt bad about taking him with me when i moved out but anyway this is him hes fat and stupid and i love him his name is coffee

61. are you more of an early bird or a night owl?

night owl because my rhythm is all fucked up but in my heart....an early bird...if i get a good nights sleep i’ll be up early yacking your ear off and so excited for the day

62. do you like sunrises or sunsets better?

sunsets are prettier...but sunrises feel more refreshing

63. do you know how to drive?

nope ! im gay !

64. do you prefer earbuds or headphones?

headphones. better sound quality also discourages people from talking to me slightly more

65. have you ever had braces?

nope! but i need them

66. what is your favorite genre of music?

post-hardcore maybe?

67. who is your hero?

every trans person living their truth and being open and loud about who they are past present & future. the worlds not particularly kind to us and our existence alone is considered a radical act, so its always given me hope to see others refusing to pretend to be someone they’re not in this environment and I’ll always have mad respect for that

68. do you read comic books?

i read manga and webcomics...ive always wanted to get into superhero comics but the amount of issues and different versions is ridiculous and makes it inaccessible 2 me

69. what makes you the most angry?

i mean its hard to pinpoint what makes me angry the MOST...but a contender is definitely how some people feel free to treat others with cruelty and think its their god given right to deny or attack someones existence in some way, & how acts of kindness, even the most basic are branded as liberal bullshit or whatever....it goes against everything i was taught growing up

70. do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book?

real book! electronic device can be easier but....rough on the eyes after a while and nothing beats the real thing for me

71. what was your favorite subject in school?

language arts...at least when we did creative writing stuff

72. do you have any siblings?

two older sisters & an older brother that passed away years ago but. still my brother u kno

73. what was the last thing you bought?

mocha frappe baby!!!!!

74. how tall are you?

5′4″

75. can you cook?

a little bit....not as much as id like to though but im learning

76. what are three things that you love?

storms, cheesy breadsticks, and cat purrs

77. what are three things that you hate?

unnecessary rudeness, being talked down to or generally treated like im stupid, grapefruit which is the worst thing on this list

78. do you have more female friends or more male friends?

female i think?

79. what is your sexual orientation?

im the big bad promiscuous bisexual your parents warned you about

80. where do you currently live?

oklahoma. gofundme campaign to get me out

81. who was the last person you texted?

my friend jojo! just Now!

82. when was the last time you cried?

yesterday afternoon but im a changed man now thats behind me. i will cry about different things soon

83. who is your favorite youtuber?

the mcelroy brothers. also super best friends play. matt, pat & woolie are all great tbh

84. do you like to take selfies?

depends on whether i feel ugly or terribly dysphoric that day or not

85. what is your favorite app?

ummmm....love live school idol festival ive been playin for years its an addiction

86. what is your relationship with your parent(s) like?

dad = bad mom = okay. theres some issues that strain it but its not too bad

87. what is your favorite foreign accent?

i have no idea what the fuck australians are talking about half the time but i dig it anyway

88. what is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit?

Italy, Greece, Germany, Japan, Mexico, various other states (ive only been out of state three times. twice to texas and then once to kansas. for five minutes)

89. what is your favorite number?

6!! 26 also

90. can you juggle?

ive always wanted to but alas.... :-[

91. are you religious?

i suppose...but im rlly not into organized religion

92. do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting?

space probably theres so fucking much of it man!

93. do you consider yourself to be a daredevil?

not to brag but sometimes i eat my mcdonalds hamburgers cold from the fridge so you can figure that one out yourself B)

94. are you allergic to anything?

pecans. not deathly allergic though so catch me eating turtle pie anyway!

95. can you curl your tongue?

nope :[

96. can you wiggle your ears?

nope :[

97. how often do you admit that you were wrong about something?

usually as soon as i realize....unless someones being real smug and annoying then i might be stubborn about it

98. do you prefer the forest or the beach?

ive never been to the beach but i love her!!!

99. what is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you?

probably that you have to look at your accomplishments differently when you’re disabled or just struggling, to not be so down on yourself because its a fact that what might be a mole hill to someone else is a mountain to you and you have to judge yourself accordingly. Like maybe you weren’t able to clean the whole house, but washing the dishes and tidying your desk doesn’t usually get done but you did it. That that should be celebrated because while it would also feel good if you did more, you still did something and thats great all things considered.

100. are you a good liar?

sometimes, really depends what im lying about and if im like....into it at all. If my guts against it for whatever reason I’ll have trouble

101. what is your hogwarts house?

i always get slytherin or hufflepuff! usually with like 1 point difference

102. do you talk to yourself?

i am talking to myself right now as i fill this out

103. are you an introvert or an extrovert?

extrovert mainly! i used to think i was more introverted but now i think a lot of exhaustion when theres any comes from me just going the extra mile and actively trying to read people and pick up on social ques.... if I just chill im fine

104. do you keep a journal/diary?

nope...ive tried but i just cant keep up with it so i do the next best thing. shouting into the void on the internet to a bunch of strangers

105. do you believe in second chances?

depends on what you did the first time. Some people just don’t deserve taking that risk imo...but i can be a little guarded so maybe thats a bit too harsh

106. if you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do?

turn it in, unless there was no identifying things in it & it was found somewhere kinda random. Then I’d maybe hold onto it unless my gut challenged that

107. do you believe that people are capable of change?

absolutely. i mean thats all we do throughout our lives is change and evolve...that being said I think extremely drastic changes are maybe not entirely impossible, but extremely rare, and the residue of the former self usually sticks around in some form

108. are you ticklish?

yes, dangerously so

109. have you ever been on a plane?

nope

110. do you have any piercings?

one day hopefully!

111. what fictional character do you wish was real?

asra from the arcana.....even if he wasn’t my boyfriend thats just a dude u could chill and eat some pomegranates with u know. Before I downloaded the app my friends kept telling me he was made for me and he really was he ticks like everything on my Favorite Characters Feature List except villain but he has that particular allure & attitude i like so much in villains so thats not a single point off hes perfect

112. do you have any tattoos?

nope...one day! hopefully!

113. what is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far?

accepting my genderqueerness and bisexuality definitely. Self Love hasn’t been perfected just yet but that was such a huge step in the right direction

114. do you believe in karma?

yes! she doesn’t get shit done as much as id like however

115. do you wear glasses or contacts?

glasses. not contacts yet because my eye doctor is a bitch

116. do you want children?

I do....just not sure if id be a good parent. Its really important to me if I had a child itd be for the right reason and I could raise them well in a healthy environment & be able to take care of all their needs yknow

117. who is the smartest person you know?

probably my friend jojo

118. what is your most embarrassing memory?

one time i looked outside and the sunset was really pretty and i wanted to get a photo of it so i walked out.....and stood like right by the street so there weren’t trees in my way...and then i realized mid-pic 1) i am not wearing pants & my shirt is full of holes 2) id been depressed for days so my hair was a tangled mess. I tailed it back inside so i didnt even get a nice pic it was blurry!

119. have you ever pulled an all-nighter?

120. what colour are most of you clothes?

black i didnt even have to think about that one

121. do you like adventures?

they are pretty swell

122. have you ever been on tv?

a few times when i was little. always photobombing the news reporters 4 what i thought would eventually lead 2 fame & fortune

123. how old are you?

124. what is your favorite movie quote?

this is technically lyrics to that lil song in moana at the end but

“ They have stolen the heart from inside you. But this does not define you.”

hits me hard every time! emotional impact? i know her

125. sweet or savory?

sweet!!!!!!!! gotta balance out my bitter somehow

#tag meme #about #srry if theres any weird grammar or spelling going on half of this was written when i had a monster headache #and was doing everything but laying down!!!!

12 notes · View notes

minimoll7 · 5 years

Note

do all that ask stuff bonch ;)

1: Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?I’ve never smoked once in my life and I never will

2: Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused?Single (tho lets be real here, I’m always confused. I never know what’s going on)

3: What if I told you that you were pretty?I’d probably be really flattered fhdugf

I answered questions 4-6 in my last post lol

7: Do you want to be single?Nah. I’d love to get a boyfriend someday and get married

8: Did you go out or stay in last night?*Hacker voice* I’m always in

9: How late did you stay up last night?I think I feel asleep at midnight?? Idk I just sort of fell asleep out of no where lol

10: Can you recall the last time you realized you liked someone a lot?I was in 8th grade, so like 2011 lol

11: Last three things you had to drink?Water, water and some water

12: Have you pretended to like someone?Unfortunately. Dumbest and most stupidest decisions I’ve ever made. I know I did it because I didn’t want to make someone feel bad but it was still a dumb decision in the end of it

13: Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it?I’m assuming this means love in general, not like specifically romantic love because yes. I’ve said it to my dad like over a decade ago when I never meant it at all

14: Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months?No lol well, I’ve seen myself but I don’t think that counts fgydsgfd

15: Is it hard for you to get over someone?Yeah, I have a hard time letting go

16: Think back five months ago, were you single?Bitch I’ve always been single fhydsgf

17: What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon?Its like 12:29 right now fhydgsdf I’m answering questions ;)

18: Hold hands with anyone this week?No but I wanna

19: Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?Never had alcohol, never will

20: What would you name your future daughter?Idk Robin maybe?? I love that name

21: Do you miss anyone?A lot of people :(

22: Have you kissed three or more people in one night?Haha bold of you to assume I kiss people

23: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?BOLD OF YOU TO ASSUME I KISS PEOPLE

24: Are you good at hiding your feelings?Depends on the situation and what I’m hiding. In some cases I can in others I can’t to save my life lol

25: Have you ever cried from being so mad?I cry easily from emotions so yeah I have. Most of the time tho its something related to my dad

26: Who did you last see in person?My parents ha

27: Are you listening to music right now?I sure heckin am my dudes!! Listening to the Hyrule Temple theme from Smash Melee

28: What is something you currently want right now?A break from stress lol also pizza

29: What is the last thing you said out lot?I’m assuming lot is supposed to be loud lol “Sorry that you can’t handle the truth” that or “puppy!” can’t remember which happened first fhydsgdf

30: How is your heart lately?Fine I think? Not a 100% sure what this is specifically asking for lol

31: Do you wear the hood on your hoodie?Only if I really need it

32: Are you wearing socks?Nah my feet are naked af

33: What do people call you?They call me the Great Apocalypse

34: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?Considering I don’t like anyone romantically, no. But I do like my friends platonically, so yeah I will ;)

35: Are there any stressful situations in your life?M a n y so many my dudes

36: Who did you last share a bed with?Myself ;) I’m crazy I know

37: Did you do something bad today?I ate junk food

38: When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you?That’s a good question, bold of you to assume I have a brain to remember stuff with

39: Do you get stressed out easily?Heckin yeah. I get stressed out so easily its ridiculous lol

40: Will you sing today?WILL I??? The world may never know!!

41: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t?Oof yeah all the time. Most of the time its simple stuff but I get anxiety or embarrassed so then I keep quiet. Sometimes the convo changes direction completely and its no longer relevant or important enough to bring up

42: Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone?I go to like, most of my friends. There isn’t really just one person because I try to make sure I give my friends breaks from venting/negativity if I notice I go to them to frequently

43: Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance?Nope!!

44: What are you listening to right now?The Title theme from Night in the Woods. I love it so much, its such a cool theme

45: What is wrong with you right now?Do you want a list. I can give you a list

46: What is on your wrists right now?My skin, maybe some hair who knows

47: Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re weaW e a. My momma got my Zelda shirt from RedBubble lol

48: What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider?Hot chocolate I like it h o t

49: Do you make wishes at 11:11?Nah, I don’t believe in wishes lol

50: Are you a good artist?Sure am!! Someday I’ll get really heckin good to!!!

51: Love really is a beautiful thing huh?It certainly can be, yeah!

52: Do you miss the way things were six months ago?Not really lol not much changed, still hella stressed

53: Ever been on a golf cart?I don’t think so :0c

54: Do you have trust issues?Not usually lol

55: Ever stayed up all night on the phone, with who?I could never do that. I mean, I can stay up all night, my insomnia lets me do that no problem. But I’d get to tired, exhausted and really irritated if I was on the phone with someone the whole time

56: Do you own something from Hot Topic?I think one of my Zelda shirts is from Hot Topic. But I got it YEARS ago so I’m not sure

57: Do you use chap stick?Sadly I do lol

58: Have you ever slapped someone in the face?In a gentle, joking way, yes I have

59: Do you have a little sister?I am the little sister fdydfsgfg

60: Have you ever been to New York?Briefly, just on my way to Pennsylvania and then back on my way home. But I was a little kid so I don’t remember much

61: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?Of course! :D

62: Have you hugged someone within the last week?Yeah I hugged my momma!

63: What were you doing at midnight last night?Pissing and then falling asleep

64: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?BOLD. OF. YOU. TO. ASSUME. I. KISS. PEOPLE. fhydsgdfgfdsgf

65: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?I have a few actually, but yeah!! :D You’re one of them, Zanky ;)

66: Were your last three kisses from the same person?Do I need to shoot your knees

67: Have you kissed anyone in the last five days?I’m going to shoot your knees

68: Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?I’m used to sleeping alone so I think I prefer it. But having people sleep even in just the same room with me does bring me comfort

69: Will next Friday be a good one?I think so, it should be

#molly answers #cranky-zanky #ask meme #thanks my dude ;)

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corgisocks · 6 years

Text

85 questions

tagged by @ribenaflip 💞💕💖💗

rules: answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people

EDIT: as of 2019, this tag is like 20% irrelevant to what i’m like now....did it in 2017 so

— what was your last…

1. drink: water

2. phone call: it was me calling jojo’s phone so they could find it

3. text message: “I am having a major crisis”

4. song you listened to: coffee & tv by blur

5. you cried: that’s tmi but also saying it’s tmi is tmi and all of this is tmi so what am i DOING

— have you ever…

6. dated someone twice: nooo

7. kissed someone and regretted it: yes i kissed a piece of toast and it got crumbs all over my face

8. been cheated on: if i have been that’d be concerning seeing as i’ve never not been single

9. lost someone special: not recently.

10. been depressed: 24 hours 7 days a week m8

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: what is an alcohol? (no)

— fave colours

12. vermilion 13. cerulean 14. very very dark grey

— in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: YEET (shoutout to the gc)

16. fallen out of love: i WISH (lmao it’s been 2 years please end me)

17. laughed until you cried: yea obvs

18. found out someone was talking about you: many times. many many many times.

19. met someone who has positively changed you: YES. my bestest buddy has and not in a bad way. i’m definitely a better and happier person because i met him

20. found out who your friends are: i never think about friendships in that kind of way. and if i did i probs wouldn’t care to be like ‘they were a shitty friend’ instead it’d just be like they were someone in my life and it sucks that they’re not/don’t want to be in a good way anymore but shit happens. and i don’t take it personally

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: what is a face book because if it’s like a book of faces i kissed myself in the picture of my group of friends that is in my yearbook

— general

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know irl: again…what is a face book

23. do you have any pets: YEET

24. do you want to change your name: i mean idk i think i’d be cool with just usin a nickname for now i’ll figure the legal stuff out later

25. what did you do for your last birthday: went to my friend’s birthday party. spent almost all of it looking for one of the people who was invited with two of my bros. then i saw wonder woman, went to a reallyreally good korean bakery, and then went to the empire state building. and last but not least, the next day, my friends came over and we played clue and mariokart. all in all it was a 10/10 birthday tbh! (it was an anomaly though ngl my birthday this year is going to be infinitely more depressing)

26. what time did you wake up today: 5:30 am cos my school starts too fuckin early ;(

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: taking a shower

28. what is something you can’t wait for: plake’s upcoming single (it’s my fav and i’ve been wanting it in my library for m o n t h s so i’m 110% ready for it

30. what are you listening to right now: the sound of people talking

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: i was at an improv comedy show and of all people i was picked to volunteer and when i was on stage my shoe fell off and one of the comedians who was called tom was like 'your foot has been borne to the audience’

32. something that’s getting on your nerves: my own exhaustion!

33. most visited website: my school’s online gradebook 😬

34. hair colour: really dark brown (some people think it’s black but NO)

35. long or short hair: short...it will never be long again i assure you

36. do you have a crush on someone: yes ;(((

37a. what do you like about yourself: i may be an awful person atm but at least i can understand why i am the way i am and know how to improve

37b. what’s something you don’t like about yourself: too many things. rn though i don’t like how i come off as like a 'show-off’ when i’m trying to help people cos me trying to get them to like actually understand what they’re learning always sets em off even though it’d be worse to just do things my own confusing way and leave em in the dust. i also hate how i get frustrated with them (and myself tbh) when that happens

38. want any piercings: hecc no

39. blood type: i legit have no clue

40. nicknames: lou, coco

41. relationship status: what is a relation ship

42. sign: gemini

43. pronouns: he/they i GUESS

44. fave tv show: peppa pig tbh

45. tattoos: hecc no!

46. right or left handed: BOTH

47: ever had surgery: nope 😬

48. piercings: once again HECC NO

49. sport: used to do tennis and track. now i kind of just do a lil bit of everything for fun and i love biking and running

50. vacation: yes please. i need a vacation from LIFE

51. trainers: i’ve had the same old black nikes for three years and the same flip flops for five ;( (and i also have some black converse high-tops that i never wear unless i need to look 'nice’ whoops)

— more general

52. eating: i prefer raw foods to pretty much everything so poke bowls are my jam. i’m also a vegetarian who doesn’t eat fruit because what is self-care??

53. drinking: water. it’s important to stay hydrated

54. i’m about to watch: my surroundings that aren’t my phone

55. waiting for: this tag to be over. yikes

56. want: to pass english for ONE GODDAMN MARKING PERIOD before i graduate cos i haven’t since mp1 of ninth grade during which i got a 99 (now i have a 15 look how far i’ve come!!)

57. get married: i mean…

58. career: ah yes i’ll probably have one of those

— which is better

59. hugs or kisses: y'all mean in relationships? no pref. generally speaking though i almost always hate both

60. lips or eyes: no pref

61. shorter or taller: no pref…

62. older or younger: i don’t think about any of this shit i am so confused!!

63. nice arms or stomach: what constitutes an arm or stomach being nice?

64. hookup or relationships: labels ew neither is good

65. troublemaker or hesitant: somehow i’m both. like i’m loud as fuck and kind of obnoxious and audacious but i also have 9.9/10 self-control. so like i would be cool with either type of person

— have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: i hope not

67. drank hard liquor: hecc no

68. turned someone down: i thought i was gonna have to but that never happened WHEW

69. sex on first date: what is this “sex” you speak of? what is a “date”?

70: broken someone’s heart: i hope not! except hearts are kinda squishy so like i probably haven’t

71. had your heart broken: no although my heart rate’s so high i fear it will explode one of these days

72. been arrested: so far, no

73. cried when someone died: :((( chris cornell. i was lookin up soundgarden on google to find tour dates near where my uncle lives and then i saw it and i was like 'no. nononono. nonononononononono.’ then i let one tear escape from the ducts in my eyes before going into denial river. (aren’t i so fuckin clever 😤😤😤)

i also cried during a tribute to chester bennington at a muse concert if that counts

74. fallen for a friend: once again ew labels but y'all should know by now that i HAVE and i’m STILL falling ;(

— do you believe in

75. yourself: i have no concept of anything in existence and this tag has made me realise that. whoops

76. miracles: i could ramble about this one but i don’t have the time

77. love at first sight: dunno, but i will say that when i met my best friend i knew i was going to love him from how he acted and what his sense of humour is like. he’s so unique really like you can TELL he’s his own person and he owns it without trying to

78. santa claus: yes but only cos i’m tryin to stay off the naughty list

79. angels: what is an angels

— misc

80. eye colour: this is a subject that has been widely debated so for now i’ll just say they’re either grey or green or both

81. best friend’s name: zeke

82. favourite movie: i have no concept of having a favorite movie unless it’s based on who it’s by so i’ll say my favorite pixar movie is wall-e for the sake of having something down for this question. otherwise it’s probs either memento or the imitation game.

83. favourite actor: myself 🤔

84. favourite cartoon: oh shit that’s too hard. my favs as a young child were tom and jerry and the first season of the pokémon anime and i guess my fav one that’s more 'mature’ is bojack horseman (although i’ve only seen half the first season lol)

85. favourite teacher’s name: my favorite is either nicole, hyungmin, rebecca, eileen, hayley, matt, kevin, or robert, but like…i hate picking cos that’s just unfair. so idrk

can’t tag rn but do this if you want to i guess

#i am a relatively uninteresting person #tag

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alien-bodies · 6 years

Text

Oversharing Time!!!

(i just made that title up that’s not the official title I’m just Like That)

Ok so @frogyell tagged my main account (I am BLEST) but that’s for Refined Star Trek Content and this one’s for excellent moodboard content and garbage so here’s the garbage!!! I’m putting it under a cut bc it manipulates your brain to want to read through 85 fuckin facts about me more wow I love science

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

1. last drink: Water! off to a great start

2. last phone call: my local Hot Topic. I feel like I should also mention I work there. But if you don’t know that and steal my phone you’ll see I have a contact named Hot Topic

3. last text message: Google sent me a verification code, but the last one I sent was to my brother it says “k”

4. last song you listened to: It’s called The Horror Of Your Love by Ludo, if I had to delete all but one song on my 121-song Best Enemies playlist I’d keep this one it’s Peak and kinda has vore but it’s metaphorical. metavoreical, if you will

5. time you cried: during my latest EMDR sesh! I was in Wales and everything it was a Lot I got ice cream after

6. dated someone twice? Big No

7. kissed someone and regretted it? Not really?

8. been cheated on? my ex had 16 anime dating sims downloaded at one point while we were dating does that count

9. lost someone special? yea

10. been depressed? hella

11. gotten drunk and thrown up? I’ve been drunk 1 time and it was when I was playing English handbells at my dad’s church’s wassail night but I did not throw up no

fave colors

12. Black

13. Lavendar

14. Light blue

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends? Hell Yell!!

16. fallen out of love? k i n d a ? ?

17. laughed until you cried? oh absolutely

18. found out someone was talking about you? OH BOY YUP YUP

19. met someone who changed you? yes! she managed to physically alter my hippocampus without touching it how fuckign whack is that

20. found out who your friends are? It’s always the same miraculous group chat

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list? sure have

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl? I keep it nice and refined so all of them. My old account is another story

23. do you have any pets? one beautiful and talented cat named Moriarty. A good description is she’s got puppy software on cat hardware.

24. do you want to change your name? listen I’ve been through 4.5 of these fuckers, I like Nate, I’m Quite Finished

25. what did you do for your last birthday? invited 2 pals over, I remember one of them suddenly whipped out I Am The Doctor and the Dr Who theme on the piano out of fuckin nowhere and I was like “Daniel what the hell you’re so talented” and then I hardcore dissociated the rest of the day

26. what time did you wake up today? 10:00

27. what were you doing at midnight last night? chatting w @houseofoakdown and also editing my monstrosity of a fanfiction

28. what is something you cant wait for? Going back to school! then I can graduate in my pajamas and eat creamed corn in celebration

30. what are you listening to right now? the same goddamn playlist, this one’s called Battle Cry by The Family Crest, i cri erytiem

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom? probably???

32. something thats getting on your nerves? my brother vaping in the bathroom with the fan on at 12:30am

33. most visited website: tungle dot hell

34. hair color: I started out blonde af now I’m less blonde but still blonde.

35. long or short hair: short

36. do you have a crush on someone: :[] yes

37. what do you like about yourself: i’m hella smart, my moodboards are bangin, my writing is cool af, I’m well-hydrated at all times

38. want any piercings? Big No

39. blood type: A+!!!!! thats me!!!!!

40. nicknames: my brother calls me a goon sometimes

41. relationship status: im married to my laptop

42. zodiac: I was born on the last day of Taurus so I’m a definite Taurus/Gemini power combo

43. pronouns: they/them, tho in some places I use he/him bc The Dysphoria got hog wild enough I decided to pretend to be a trans guy so ppl would take me seriously, but I’m moving more towards they/them everywhere now.

44. fave tv shows: Dr Fuck, Sherlock (I’m armed with a pitchfork and an arsenal of beefed up tv & film knowledge come on fight me), DOWNTON ABBEY

45. tattoos: in August I will get a bee on my right arm and probably a Secret Word in Gallifreyan on my left it’ll say fuck

46. right or left handed: one time I was bored in grade 10 and tried to make myself ambidextrous but that was a hassle so I’m firmly right handed. Except in archery.

47. ever had surgery: got all 4 wisom teeth out not long ago! I still need to squirt water in my gum holes so I get all the mushy food out :{

48. piercings: I used to have my ears pierced but they’re grown tf over now!

49. sport: first of all what the hell is this question looking for second of all I have a red belt (which is 2 below black belt) in Taekwondo. I really need to do that again hhhhhh

50. vacation: i went to England and France in the summer with my family as a “””grad trip”””, it was lots of fun but my collection of sensory issues extended to chomping and I dissociated so intensely in The Louvre my mom told me to go back outside so I wrote fanfiction while listening to 21 Pilots and chatting w my imaginary friends and it took me like 18 hours to process I’d seen The Mona Lisa with mine own 2 eyes. Also the plane was delayed twice bc we used Air Canada for some godforsaken reason and I had 0 hours of sleep when I went to the Sherlock Holmes museum and I started talkin to this bust of Sherlock Holmes and then I hadn’t eaten enough and we were walking to this bookstore and I said “I need food!” and my dad said “We’ll get it AFTER” then I shouted “I’M GONNA DIE” so I got a BLT from Tesco.

51. trainers: h

more general

52. eating: the last thing I ate was chocolate chips straight out of the bag

53. drinking: I got another cup of water

54. im about to watch: my entire fanfiction to take 3000 notes on consistency. and by watch I mean read

55. waiting for: my brother (not vaping) to get out of the bathroom so I can PEE

56. want: Orphan Black to be on Netflix so I can actually binge watch it then call my grandma about it

57. get married: idk I didn’t think I was a get married person but since realizing I’m a lesbian it seems like a good idea!

58. career: nurse and a writer. I might just move to London and work double time to write enough scripts I have some street cred then pitch a TV adaptation of Faction Paradox to the BBC and win

which is better

59. hugs or kisses: hugs bc it means my friends are in my vicinity not Toronto

60. lips or eyes: uh. eyes???????????

61. shorter or taller: i’m 5′3″ and I would love a tol partner

62. older or younger: i don’t think I care

63. nice arms or stomach: what fresh hell does this mean. I’d like a nice stomach free of gastrointestinal issues and acid reflux. not that I have either of those but just in case

64. hookup or relationship: I have 300 many self-esteem issues so imma say relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant: AU where I don’t have anxiety and I’m a trouble maker

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: noop

67. drank hard liquor: I PUT RUM IN THE WASSAIL HELL YEAH also once someone bought me a shot at a queer dance thing bc it was payday and my friend told me to gulp the WHOLE SHOT and then the lemonade so I don’t barf and I was like “brah this is too high-stakes” so I poured the vodka in the lemonade and took sips and everyone stared at me

68. lost glasses: in grade 6 and then my mom threatened to make me wear one of those granny glasses chains so I never lost them again

69. turned someone down: ya this kid Cyrus used to chase me around in grade 5 and I’d run away always he was weird af one time he made out with a folder right in front of me in the middle of class

70. sex on first date: probs not at this point but I’m not opposed to the general idea when I’m less w h a c k e d u p

71. broken someones heart: Not that I know of?

72. had your heart broken: c o n s i s t e n t l y in the most fricked up ways god

73. been arrested: no but once I booed at the police bc the local nazis (yeah) were gonna have a rally so we had a counter-rally and I dropped in but there were no nazis except one old dude in a MAGA hat showed up 2 hours late lmao

74. cried when someone died: oui

75. fallen for a friend: Big Lesbian Mood

do you believe in

76. yourself: YA BB

77. miracles: not as such

78. love at first sight: nah

79. santa claus: I wasn’t allowed to believe in Santa as a child bc he was “too much like God” sad

80. kiss on a first date: ye!

81. angels: big no

other

82. best friend’s name: I don’t exactly have a proper best friend but I’m goin with Liam

83. eye colour: blue/grey

84. fave movie: either The Force Awakens (bc I love bb8 and I’m gay 4 Rey) or Interstellar shut up

85. fave actor: uh idk let’s go with my brother

WOW THAT WAS LONG JEE🅱️US. I’m tagging @houseofoakdown @spoonietimelordy @gemvictorfromtheponyverse @spockswhales @raesand and that exhausts the ppl I know but you’re all worth quadruple in my heart 💖

#Open For Sicc Facts Abt Me #ianposting

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fagkit · 7 years

Note

200 thru 1 :3c

bet you didn’t think I’d do it @chqwder @ephraim-o-rama

200: My crush’s name is: killu @bpdzoldyck I LOVE THIS BOY SO MUCH!!!!!! 199: I was born in: ontario198: I am really: affectionate, loving, supportive, jealous, drained197: My cellphone company is: freedom196: My eye color is: brown195: My shoe size is: 9194: My ring size is: no idea193: My height is: 5′11′’192: I am allergic to: nothing that I know of191: My 1st car was: none, I hate driving190: My 1st job was: peer tutoring through my college189: Last book you read: I can’t remember, but probably a science fiction book for one of the classes I took in college188: My bed is: comfortable and unmade and covered in clothes187: My pet: a precious calico kitty cat named reese uwu 186: My best friend: aria @god-mutt aaaaaahhh god I love my best friend so much like holy gosh damn like I love her with all my heart she’s the best friend ever to exist!!!!! 185: My favorite shampoo is: head and shoulders is all I use184: Xbox or ps3: neither?? I’m a pc gamer… ps3 if I had to choose183: Piggy banks are: kinda helpful I guess182: In my pockets: nothing lmao181: On my calendar: my friends’ birthdays uwu180: Marriage is: I dunno, nothing special to me179: Spongebob can: quench that extreme thirst178: My mom: loves memes177: The last three songs I bought were? all on krewella’s new world album, the first time I’ve bought music in years actually176: Last YouTube video watched: sro playing camille175: How many cousins do you have? fuck there’s a lot of them but I don’t know most of them, my family tree is huge.. I’m close to like three of my cousins174: Do you have any siblings? I have a younger sister173: Are your parents divorced? nope172: Are you taller than your mom? yeah, by a little171: Do you play an instrument? not at all170: What did you do yesterday? I worked and then had a pizza and relaxed[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: not a chance168: Luck: as much as I like to blame luck when things go bad, or say I got lucky when things go well, not really… shit just happens167: Fate: same as before, shit just happens, but fate can be nice to think about sometimes166: Yourself: kinda, I can be a big fuck up sometimes but I’m still alive and kicking165: Aliens: not your traditional aliens out of fiction, but I believe there is other forms of life in the universe164: Heaven: nah, not really, but it’s nice to think about163: Hell: as often as I’ll say I’m going to hell, in particular with my best friend to chill after death, it’s not really something I think is real162: God: no, I don’t really think about it either, nor do I care to think about it161: Horoscopes: they’re fun, but I don’t think they’re real or accurate or hold any value160: Soul mates: it’s a comforting thing to believe in, but it’s probably not real159: Ghosts: not really, it’s possible but I don’t really care either way158: Gay Marriage: of course!!!!! unfollow me if you don’t157: War: war is very much real lmao do I think it should it happen??? it would be nice if it didn’t… but in the world we live in I think it’s always bound to happen156: Orbs: what does this even mean????155: Magic: nope but this is the closest to magic I’ve ever seen[ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs153: Drunk or High: high152: Phone or Online: online151: Red heads or Black haired: black hair150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunette149: Hot or cold: hot148: Summer or winter: summer147: Autumn or Spring: autumn146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla145: Night or Day: night144: Oranges or Apples: oranges143: Curly or Straight hair: straight142: McDonalds or Burger King: mcdicks141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: milk chocolate140: Mac or PC: pc139: Flip flops or high heals: flip flops138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet and poor137: Coke or Pepsi: coke136: Hillary or Obama: obama I guess, I’m not american so my opinion is limited135: Burried or cremated: I want to be cremated134: Singing or Dancing: singing133: Coach or Chanel: lmao I don’t care132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who???131: Small town or Big city: small town130: Wal-Mart or Target: wal-mart, target got shit on in canada for good reasons too129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: adam sandler I guess, only because my favourite movie ever is 50 first dates128: Manicure or Pedicure: manicure probably so I can show it off127: East Coast or West Coast: I don’t know??? what does this even mean??126: Your Birthday or Christmas: my birthday125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate124: Disney or Six Flags: never been to either and never will123: Yankees or Red Sox: neither, I don’t care about sports[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: depends on what’s being fought over, human rights is one of the only reasons it should need to happen121: George Bush: I’m not american and I don’t really care120: Gay Marriage: there shouldn’t need to be laws for gay marriage to be legal and accepted119: The presidential election: a losing choice either way118: Abortion: pro-choice, your body your life your choice117: MySpace: dead and gone116: Reality TV: can be fun sometimes115: Parents: my parents are great!!!! others?? not so much… really common to hear about shitty parents114: Back stabbers: shitty people, drop them when you get the chance113: Ebay: pretty useful but I don’t really use it112: Facebook: waste of time and poorly designed and too much data mining111: Work: I’m underpaid, retail is hell, it’s basically adult babysitting110: My Neighbors: don’t talk to them but they smoke a lot of weed109: Gas Prices: inflated and bullshit but luckily I don’t drive108: Designer Clothes: not a necessity but to each their own107: College: unfairly out of reach for most people, should be free106: Sports: boring and exhausting and not fun to me105: My family: I love my family, I don’t really have any complaints104: The future: probably pretty shitty with how things in the world have been lately, gonna enjoy the present while I can[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: a week ago102: Last time you ate: a couple hours ago101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: a while? :3c100: Cried in front of someone: a few days ago on voice chat with my best friend99: Went to a movie theater: around a year at this point98: Took a vacation: around april was the last time I had a week off work97: Swam in a pool: over a year, last summer I think96: Changed a diaper: never95: Got my nails done: never94: Went to a wedding: not since I was a baby93: Broke a bone: never, the closest was a fractured wrist when I was around 1292: Got a peircing: never91: Broke the law: I have no idea, probably the last time I ripped a song from youtube which was almost a year ago90: Texted: less than a minute ago[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: aria88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: aria87: The last movie I saw: something with aria I can’t remember the name of, it was a bunch of shorts on short stories (she has informed me it was called XX)86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: coming home from work and calling with aria85: The thing im not looking forward to: going back to work84: People call me: loving, supportive, a brother83: The most difficult thing to do is: accept change82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: never81: My zodiac sign is: libra80: The first person i talked to today was: grizz @chqwder79: First time you had a crush: when I was around 1078: The one person who i can’t hide things from: aria77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: probably aria76: Right now I am talking to: voice calling with aria 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: be best friends with aria74: I have/will get a job: I am a unofficially a manager at a hardware store (I do all the work of one), but only get paid as a supervisor73: Tomorrow: THIS IS SO VAGUE but I’m going to be working and then hanging out with aria72: Today: I streamed with grizz @chqwder and joshy @ephraim-o-rama and voice called with aria @god-mutt while I did this before bed71: Next Summer: I have no idea probably hanging out with aria??70: Next Weekend: hanging out with aria69: I have these pets: a cat that I mentioned earlier68: The worst sound in the world: forks scraping on a plate67: The person that makes me cry the most is: myself66: People that make you happy: aria makes me the happiest65: Last time I cried: like a week ago on call with aria64: My friends are: amazing and wonderful and I love them63: My computer is: a beast62: My School: I’m not in school anymore61: My Car: is non-existent, like my license60: I lose all respect for people who: lie and break my trust, cheat, lots of other reasons that are pretty standard and obvious for people not deserving respect59: The movie I cried at was: I can’t remember right now but I cry really easily at movies58: Your hair color is: brown57: TV shows you watch: hunter x hunter and a bunch of other anime, rupauls drag race, and mostly just youtube videos… I don’t have cable to watch tv56: Favorite web site: tumblr and youtube55: Your dream vacation: I hate travel but if I get a chance to meet aria that would be the best54: The worst pain I was ever in was: when I scalded my hand with boiling water a couple years ago53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium-rare52: My room is: kinda messy51: My favorite celebrity is: I really love adore delano50: Where would you like to be: hanging out with aria and looking at stars or watching movies and having a sleepover49: Do you want children: kinda, as long as I can skip the baby phase48: Ever been in love: yes, and then heartbroken but I’m over it now whatever romantic love sucks miss me with that shit47: Who’s your best friend: aria!!!!46: More guy friends or girl friends: guy friends45: One thing that makes you feel great is: spending time with aria44: One person that you wish you could see right now: aria43: Do you have a 5 year plan: not die??? even that’s kinda iffy???42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: meet aria41: Have you pre-named your children: nope40: Last person I got mad at: a friend I ended up blocking39: I would like to move to: nowhere, I like where I live38: I wish I was a professional: programmer[ My Favorites ]37: Candy: peanut butter m&ms36: Vehicle: I don’t really care enough to have one35: President: don’t care enough to have one34: State visited: I’ve only been to two states, buffalo (to take a plane to chicago), and illinois. between the two, definitely not buffalo33: Cellphone provider: I’m with freedom and the service is meh but it’s affordable32: Athlete: don’t care31: Actor: don’t care enough to have one30: Actress: don’t care enough29: Singer: adore delano28: Band: krewella27: Clothing store: h&m??? I don’t really clothing shop often26: Grocery store: fortinos25: TV show: excluding anime, it would be rupauls drag race24: Movie: 50 first dates23: Website: tumblr and youtube22: Animal: foxes and fennecs21: Theme park: never been to one20: Holiday: halloween19: Sport to watch: none, they’re all boring18: Sport to play: none, they’re all boring17: Magazine: I don’t read any16: Book: warrior cats ;3 I don’t read… never have the time15: Day of the week: thursday, it’s my day off14: Beach: a beach 3 hours away on lake huron13: Concert attended: three days grace12: Thing to cook: mac and cheese11: Food: pizza and mac and cheese10: Restaurant: a sushi place that closed down almost three years ago9: Radio station: I don’t really listen to the radio on my own, not sure8: Yankee candle scent: I dunno probably something with vanilla??7: Perfume: I don’t know vanilla scents I guess??6: Flower: snapdragons and bleeding hearts!!!!!!!!5: Color: true blue4: Talk show host: I don’t watch talk shows3: Comedian: I have no idea2: Dog breed: german shepherd, husky, border collie1: Did you answer all these truthfully? yep

#ice answers #long post #grizzer

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theguywiththesixthsense-blog · 7 years

Text

-x Day 24 x-

I slept till 1 today which i absolutely hate about today but my body was super weak yesterday so meh..

From maghrib time today i have been outside running in the heat constantly moving around. At first i walked all the way to the computer market then went to a mosque nearby to pray isha cz all shops are closed during ramadaan from maghrib to isha and then prayed 4 rakah tarawi and went out to buy a router and cable so i can bring the internet from downstairs to my house. Why ? because this is the 4th time this month my internet gave up on me and im honestly sick of calling up STC and complaining at this point. Anyways so my body still hurts a lot and that is why i am blogging so late today. After i bought everything which btw was amazing i mean the price i got for the items Alhamdulillah so i came home and set everything up internet was working fine Alhamdulillah for a while and then all of sudden it just goes off and im sitting here wondering uh-oh now dad will kill me and never let me take a line from others ever again. Cz he was against the idea as usual but i wanted to show him the difference between fibre and normal line. So i can convince him to keep this one but as you can already tell not a good start so far. So im not entirely sure what went wrong im assuming someone from downstairs unplugged my wire by mistake anyways have to check that but they are not at home atm so im waiting and its 12:56 am now. Seems like my plan of sleeping early and waking up early and going out for a walk to work out isn't starting tomorrow either. *sigh*.

Have to talk about two things first is referring to my last blog before leaving riyadh for Makkah about why i get so broken and dead inside before going to Makkah. well theres a couple of reasons actually

1) There are two events that took place in my life which i think shaped my personality a lot, and both of these events just happen to be about a trip to Makkah. First one was way back when i was tiny. I think i was only 3 years old or maybe even younger not sure, when my parents decided, well more like my Dad decided, to leave me at his relatives house and go for Hajj. Yes, they left, a 3 year old who probably just learned that people other than his parents exist in this world, in a completely new house that this kid has never been in before. I don't remember much about the experience but i remember few things like the fact that i didn't eat or drink anything for two days because i was confused and angry at my mom as to why she would leave me like this. Anyways that without a doubt messed up my mind a lot especially during that age when my brain was supposed to develop and my personality was just starting to take shape.

2) Another event was a couple of years ago actually when i was in Grade 7 or 8 maybe not entirely sure. Before stating this i should probably state a few facts about me. I never lived alone on my own never in my life. I always had my mom with me wherever i went never had to stay away from her in my life until this even happened... So my Dad ( haha surprise surprise its him again ) yeah so he decided that his son who never lived alone in his life before can now automatically learn to live without his mom and not only that but he can also adjust to a completely new environment for 5 days straight without his mom. Basically what he did was he sent mom to BD without me. First night itself was hell for me i remember talking to mom before she took off and then just couldnt hold back my tears i cried all night that day alone in my room. Anyways morning rolled up and instantly got busy playing and stuff so it wasn't so bad until ( surprise surprise its him again ) my Dad told me that he wants to go pray 40 salahs with the first takbeer in Makkah and he wants me to go with him. I mean i was very little and i didn't really care much or understood what i was getting myself into at that point. So yeah 5 Days from Zuhr to Isha after tarawi ( yeah this was during ramadaan ) i had to be in the mosque with him sitting at one place because if we leave he won't be able to get the next salah with the first takbeer. There was no internet no nothing which meant all i could think off was mom at that point and no i wasn't even given a chance to talk to my mom. I specifically remember him telling me once when i just couldn't take it anymore and i burst out crying to him saying i miss mom, he replied by arguing and saying why do you miss her ? she is enjoying herself in bd she isn't thinking about you stop thinking about her so much... Anyways so from Zuhr till tarawi no food no chance to keep my brain busy so i don't miss mom so much. This went for 5 days straight so just imagine what my developing brain was going through at this point. Anyways 5 days are over and now its time to go to Madinah where he wants to spend two days before heading back to riyadh. This is when i fell awefully sick and he had to leave the next day back to riyadh. Because for him 'mental health' is a myth. Only when you are physically ill is when you need to take action.

3) This one has a lot to do with her. The time span of my life during which i met her was a crucial part of me 'growing up'. When i met her i fell for her instantly and surrendered myself completely to her and handed her my heart completely. She became a part of everything in my life. Eating, Drinking, sleeping, everything... She was 'home' for me. Everytime i am away from her i would feel homesick. I would feel aweful like im missing a big part of me. And what i mean by 'away from her' is basically going away from doing something that i do regularly on a daily basis, because like i said... she was home. So that means whenever i would do something out of ordinary it would kill me to not have her beside me doing whatever im doing, with me. My mind had become set to the fact that as long as she was with me nothing in this world could scare me, but if she isn't there with me, i become empty... homeless. So whenever i travel away from home i get all those feelings always.

So yeah all three of those reasons combined would be the cause of me falling into a pitfall of depression whenever the time comes for me to go to Makkah, or anywhere away from home.

I was supposed to blog about my trip to Makkah but i am exhausted already after typing all these >_<

Its 2:00am already ugh no sleep today i guess. I'll watch the rest of Re:Zero now in bed and fall asleep if i feel really sleepy. Self reminder : Still have to pray witr so make sure you pray Tahajjud today.

Just wanted to mention the fact that Alhamdulillah i am up to date with reading the Quran and trying to finish it during Ramdaan. I am actually proud of myself for once that so far i have manged to stay on course. I fixed a rule that i am going to read 5 pages after every salah NO MATTER WHAT. So i made sure i did that and mashaAllah i managed to keep it consistent so far. I just made sure i dont give into ANY whispers at all from shaytaan while im reading it. 'lets leave these 2 pages for the next salah' or 'lets leave this 1 page only for next salah its okay its just one' or even 'lets leave these 5 ayats onlyyy' NOPE not giving into you shaytaan not this time. I know how your tricks work. Start by something slow and then get to something big later. N-O-P-E .

May Allah protect us all and give us strength to ignore shaytaan's whispers.

PS: i really do want to a lot more than just reading the Quran. I really need to read tafseer. Its actually quite interesting.

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