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#but if they didnt change soooo much of the vibe of it
niishi · 1 month
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I'm sorry I can't watch the new trigun and I never will. it looks so ugly. the vibe is no where near the same and it takes away 90% of the charm of the original and makes it into something totally different. I feel like theyre giving it the sports anime treatment where they're banking on twinkification selling lots. like a yaoi head trap.
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neopuff · 13 days
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Do you have tips on what makes a good amv editor please
hmmmm well the most important things for me are
clip choice! choosing clips that go with the lyircs (literally cuz its fun or emotionally to make me crazy) is imperative. amvs where theres no thought put into what goes where aren't as fun to watch. i'm still mad at an old amv of mine where the lyrics mentioned punching a wall and i didnt use a scene where the character punched a wall cuz i forgot about it lol (this also ties to amvs with really inappropriate songs for the character/ship...like if youre editing a ship positively but use a song about abuse or breaking up, it just doesnt work)
timing! an amv is most engaging when the video moves along with the beat of the song. not every beat needs a clip change but its nice when something happens on the beat, and if theres a big moment where the song goes from soft->loud then there needs to be visuals to match. the video should vibe with the song every step of the way
those are my top things for sure
aaand then theres, like, littler things that are very preferential but ill go into it 'cause i have other things i need to do and thats when im most talkative
knowing your strengths/weaknesses: for example, i dont love doing typography nor am i very good at it - so i limit it! i dont go crazy and fill my amvs with nonstop typography. but i dont use none 'cause you can't improve without practicing lol. sometimes as practice i will stare at typography from other amvs that i love and just imitate it as best as i can, see if i can figure out how they did it and try to incorporate the style into my own editing
moderation: overlays are a good example. overlays are fun! they can really enhance an amv. but too many overlays can become headache-inducing or just take away from the actual footage you're editing with (another moderation example) sometimes you'll see a well-edited amv but there's soooo much zooming in and out back and forth that it can give you a headache. i obviously love adding zooms but its good to take a step back and try to decide if you're relying so much on the zooms that you're not letting the footage play its part
coloring: not every amv needs to be colored but even just a little bit of levels adjustment can make your footage stand out more. that being said - its also important to pay attention to how the coloring fits each piece of your footage. you don't wanna whitewash dark skinned characters or make things so dark you cant see whats going on. coloring a Generator Rex amv can be difficult because the show utilizes a lot of Bright Whites and Dark Blacks which is nice but also makes you think more
balance: this is hard because, yknow. its subjective. but like...i like to use a lot of parallel imagery/typography in my amvs, but its also good to have a lot of variety and mix things up. it really depends on the song/the vibe youre going for/the type of amv.
i am happy to talk about editing stuff any time if you want me to talk more lol
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leclerced · 4 months
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before i head to bed—i absolutely agree. i think with max heavily involved for the rbr!driver au, lestappen would fit and then for the ferrari driver!au it strictly just charles. also a name would work perfectly to tell the difference! I sorta like Bones as a name (chosen name) but name is up for discussion! but me thinks having such an unique name would help, also because Bones sounds so like deathly and like somebody you'd associate with goth/emo group but then this happy wild card driver is bouncing around talking anybody's ear off is HYSTERICAL to me.
Also LESTAPPEN RIVALRY YES PLEAAAASE.
(imma stick with Bones for the time being as the name): Like Bones genuinely is confused when Max is so upset and pissy that she got with charles because yeah they hate each other but bones is like ‘?? we’re not fucking?? why are you so pissed???’ But Bones being a little shit i would die for. Bones just happily lets him take a picture and send it to charles and is actually excited to see the outcome because hello, two of the most popular drivers are like fighting over her. she’s allowed a bit of an inflated ego with that. she’s so happy-go-lucky, sunshine, always sweet & caring (unless charles but even still) to the public so nobody in a million years would expect her to be a little shit and sorts fueling a fire like this. especially when charles texts her asking what the fuck are those hickies on her thighs and demanding answers from max because ‘thought you guys weren’t fucking?? what changed??’ and probably making it his mission to not only get back at max but make sure bones remembers who they fucked first
and hell, to really add fuel, she’d probably wear a skirt with knee highs that are just a bit too big on her so she’s gotta have garter belts on to keep them up but part of the hickies are showing and she’s just “lalala” and maybe some people are bold enough to ask but she shrugs it off like “nothing! don’t worry bout silly clumsy me!” but she knows max and charles knows exactly what they are.
this fire is rapidly spreading between the two and bones just somehow in the middle but also on the sidelines roasting marshmallows straight vibing because they’re secretly a little shit who likes chaos and like maybe i’ve already thought of bones history which involves a really shitty ex and this is the first time they’ve felt wanted by anybody, let alone two guys like max and charles soooo.
if you’ll allow, i can ramble bout bones history tomorrow >:) also when i get around to forcing myself to update my blog (the thought tires me out LMAO) and really flesh this out, would you be down to be tagged in the post since we’ve been rambling nonstop bout it? 👀👀-🐈‍⬛
omg hi sorry i didnt answer this last night i finished baking at 11 pm n passed out 🥺
im not a big fan of the nickname bones bc i have watched the show bones a million times and it makes me think of decaying bodies so .. tbh its a turn off.
u can tell me ur idea ab her histroy but i have an idea ab it too but its opposite kinda ! i kinda want her to be someone who never committed to anyone, she fully committed to racing and never dated because media already spoke so much about her love life. idk what other countries are like but i can totally imagine her being american and it’s prom season so all her friends back home are getting asked to the dance, going dress shopping, and she’s on the other side of the world in a racing championship. interviewers keep asking her if she’s sad about missing out on prom and all crossing the stage for her high school graduation, and she’s just like “well considering i’m currently first in a fight for the f3 championship, i’d certainly rather be here fighting for this trophy than a prom queen sash.” very independent and always shoots down questions about her love life and is like “i don’t hear you asking anyone else that, why are you asking me?” or completely ignoring them until someone’s like “hey they asked you a question.” she just shrugs and says, “i’ve already said i’m not going to answer questions about my personal life. ask me about the race, or the car.”
maybe was fwb with a driver from another team in the past or even a past teammate so it’s kind of a comfortable dynamic to fall into with charles and max. she loves the chaos. she def loved pitting them against each other before the whole hickey fiasco, but when she fucks max and he leaves those hickeys on her thighs, it only gets worse. i can imagine if they’re in the same hotel charles could come banging on max’s door.
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forestryfae · 7 months
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I saw your concept art about a Generator Rex mermaid au! Tell me all about it, it sounds awesome!
i forgot to answer this ask ages ago and now i remember nothing except like. being a mermaid is contagious. dont ask how idk it just is. its like werewolves or the flu. you either have it permanently (born as a mermaid and cant turn human) you were infected somehow (you can now turn mermaid because magic ig but only for a short while, you dont have every mermaid trait and generally can only breathe water and might get webbed feet and scales and stuff like some horrible seamonster but it goes away), you can turn into a perma seamonster of some sort (thorugh chronic infection, like youve been infected with mermaid gunk so much your body cant fully get rid of it all and you just sort of turn permanently into a mermaid/seamonster) and then theres the variation that happens if one parent is a mermaid and the other is infected (you cant turn into a mermaid if only one parent was a mermaid while the other was a regular noninfected human tho) uhhhhhhhhhhhhh i think part of the plot was?? mermaids are your typical human on top/fish on bottom mermaids, there was a mermaid version that had legs with webbed feet and gills instead and was temporary but still mutated you and could become permanent, and then theres humans. mermaids are generally born in the sea and kinda hard to find and not very well known about despite being one of the most common fish in the sea, so to speak, so not much is known about them. humans live on land and do human stuff but also do research on mermaids cus otherwise there wouldnt be a plot or providence. uhhhh. some mermaids are mean. rex inherited the mermaid gene from his violeta and raphael, one of which was a perma-mermaid and one who was shortterm mermaided (dont ask who was what i dont care and its irrelevant. do what you want go wild), so he can shift between mermaid and human forme. cesar cant and is a full time employee of the mermaid species. theyre both a warmer sea not so far into the depths of the ocean fish so they cant tolerate too much pressure but they can get a good couple km down there. theyre primarily omnivorous. rex is orange and white w blue spots. cesar is primarily red and brown, i say as if i didnt draw him with GREEN scales. come on. sometimes they change colors but generally thats a seasonal thing. six is a human and has a scuba diving certificate. wk is wearing one of those old school scuba diving suits with the round helmet w the glass on it. or hes afraid of the sea idfk. hes the boss guy or something. maybe he has an allergy to seafood holiday is still smart and also does fish science. she also has a scuba certificate
noah is a human but rex keeps infecting him w fish lung disease so they can fuck around and find out in the ocean breach is of course an octopus. nothing else would make sense. her tentacles are purble as of now circe is. probably also half mermaid half human the same way rex is?
van kleiss is a deep sea cold climate shark mermaid, which means he can dive like all the way to the marina trench and probably get halfway to the borrom or so before he dies. idk i dont know science. its 2 am. hes mainly brown and has some yellow golden stripes. he could also be an orca if realistic mermaids based on real animals is a thing people prefer cus frankly orcas are fucking mean. the only thing meaner than orcas are dophins but i dont think he realy ahs dolphin vibes. also orcas are black and white soooo. his diet is carnivorous and eats seaweed and algae sometimes. hes missing an arm from having an anchor fall on him. totally not his fault skalamander is a kind of crocodile or some shit idfk. biowulf is also there?? at absolutely every point during the making of this au i forgot they even existed
basically violeta and rafael were scientists and stuff and they did science w humans and other mermaids and they were doing some stuff and then vk killed them and it resulted in rex losing his memory and vk getting an anchor dropped on himself which cut his entire arm off (not his fault he did nothing wrong) due to the ship exploding after vk did some tech shit and blew it up. later providence started to exist idk. they got big ass aquariums and they use it to study mermaids??
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yourwolfmuzzle · 1 year
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YEAH I WAS LIKE i will not speak about this BUT I KINDA STILL IN THIS how you can ignore so much stuff that you can put there. As always, i rewatch the episode because i never trust myself with “only one watch” even with very problematic or “not that fun to watch” media. As always - my writing post like this is messy.
TW suicide mention, i will talk about Ruby again A LOT.
1. - This whole scene with Jaune is extremely strange and Weiss telling the stuff that Rudy need to hear kinda? Its a Rudy who did big mistake and fall pretty deep. But no, Weiss telling that “even the best huntsman in the history...they all lost. But they still incredible brave. And good.” (remember this part, i will mention later) after Jaune told that “i was being selfish because i wanned to rush of rescuing someone...and i got that there”? Im still not sure what this scene was truing to tell us outside of pushing Jaune into accepting that yes, those who live in this world need to ascending to progress and be better (we will skip this whole “ascending is have to much death parallels more that rebirth maybe” and will just say that okay this is how this world work and ascending is just a part for one, who is from Ever After. Also remember this part, i will talk about this later.) and that yes viewers you got this right - Jaune was so worry about losing more people and have this hard desire for rescuing someone that he make paper start trying to self harm and to be suicidal (”..breaking from our physical forms so that the winds will care us back to the tree”). Do what ever you want with this information.
2.- This is kinda “they have to do this for plot” but...for getting closer to the tree you have to accept that ascending is a part of this world. This is the rule for every living creature in this world, who was made for this world, and the only exception is a Jabberwalker, who can destroy you. So...why WBY didnt get to the tree/door after episode 7? They told to Jaune that ascending is what paper pleaser want and Jaune need to give them what they want. They ALREADY accept that this is important for this world. This world want really badly to Jaune also getting with WBY to the door?
3.- If acceptance is what the tree want and we all on this whole “ascending is good thing” why tree just...not kick Yang after she start to tear out leaves from Ruby's statue? I know its kinda nitpicking but~
4.- We having a moment when Yang finally start to be upset that hey...this is something wrong with Rudy and we have to do something with it. First of all - why not put something like this at the start of this episode? You still can have your “omg lets hug Jaune)))))” but at least at the start of the episode we will have SOMETHING that will not have this vibe that they do not care at all and only after they got there they like “oh wait RUBY”. Second - i really dont like that r/wby cant have “a moment”. When they like...have a moment when they like “hey we fuck up pretty badly fuck what we have to do with it???”. After Yang tell that “what if she will not be Ruby anymore when she come back out” and Blake just...drop this “maybe its not for us to decide”. And before that Weiss was like “We done everything what we can. Now its up to Rudy...what ever happens next we have to welcome that”. SOOOO HM I HAVE A NUMBER OF THE PROBLEMS.
Ever After rules somehow apply to creatures from not this world and characters is like think that its will absolutely work with Ruby. They sure for 100% that she will come back and not just stay in tree statue. That she will come back with changes and they have to accept this because its her chose, which is...
Was not her decision. She did this not because she was thinking that “i fulfill my goal, like paper pleaser, now i have to find the way for getting better”. She did this not because “if i will do this i will got superpowers”. She did this because she was so tired to be herself and want to just make, what Roman illusion told her - reset that will make world better, because she will not be in this world anymore. She did this do destroy herself and even Neo, who also didnt know how this whole thing will work, and was thinking that Ruby kill herself and now she dont know what to do.
ALSO ABOUT NEO. Neo torture her to make this decision. Its not like Alyx, who “after talking to the tree (WITHOUT DRINKING ANY TEA OR EATING THE LEAF FROM THE TREE, MIND YOU) she decide to fix everything what she broken in the Ever After” DID decide to be better. Its not like Paper Pleasers who decide that “they have to ascend because we want to progress”. No, Neo beat her up with her illusions of people, who important to Ruby one way and another until she was covered in bruises and wounds, and Neo kill Little to MAKE Ruby to decide drink tea that will make her “not to be in this world anymore”.
With all this “its Ruby decision and not someone.” that on paper sound like a nice message, with this contect of what was with Ruby...this is...not cool at all. Its sound like...if person decide to do something, that will destroy them or will change them forever, its not...something that have to be just “its just her decision”. I dont think that...its a good message??? That if you do something with yourself that hardcore people will just...okay with this and will be like “oh yeah its was just her decision we have to just be welcoming with what she did and what will happens next with her”???   And when you will do something with yourself - everybody will almost fully chill about this and be like “yeah this her decision”?????? And people who worry about you need to just chill out like immediately because “its her decision, this is what it is”?????????? Just in case for anyone - people who is depress and suicidal do not “choose” to be depress and have suicidal thoughts. This is not “Ruby decide to do something that will change her one way and another and this is HER decision”. This is was about “Ruby was depress, got torture into something, that she was thinking will “make world better without her” and got into something, that will do something with her.”
Also no Weiss. This is was not enough. For a whole volume WBY was trying to ask Ruby if she okay, but never was trying to push this question forward. Its was just “hey are you okay” with no progress forward, even know they can see that Ruby IS not okay. Not when they was having a time to talk, not when they get free time to talk after busy time they did not push anything. Its fine give people some time to think and be alone, but if this is your only way to deal with someone problem especially when the situation is atypical and it's not just “this is normal for her to behave like this, give her some time, its always help”. I saw people saying that “hey they didnt have time to talk about this forward/WBY didnt saw any problems”. But they DID have time to talk with her? There was moments when you can give us more moments, when characters was pushing question “are you okay” forward or give us a moments when they at least let Ruby know they are still with her and support her. We can still have Ruby break and fall, but at least we will believe more that yes, they are was trying to do something or let Ruby know that “hey we your team and we always with you!” but they were always distracted by something serious. Because now its sound like another “We did mistake, it is what it is” because i have a hard time to believe that they will change interaction with Ruby after all this or try to apologies to not be with her, when she was in need of them the most in the final episode.
I can try to imaging that writers was writing that “no matter what will Ruby do, WBY will always support her in her journey.” but...because how episode 8 end and what did Ruby with herself, that was not really “her doing this” but “Neo push her to do this”, this is not exactly work.
(I going to rant but - i just cant understand how from what they saw in the mansion they just quickly decide that if she rn in the tree that mean she will change just like paper pleasers. Like...you SURE about this? You sure she will be back? You sure she will be change at all? How hard she will change? Is she will remember something? What about her wounds after a “fight” with Neo? What if Neo did something before that? What can we do to prevent that? Its just...they so simple accepted the fact that Ruby in the tree, this tea just send her to the tree and its will work exactly the same on her. Also nobody was even thinking about Little. They body was just right with Ruby and nobody even question if they alright or if they didnt saw they body, they didnt ask “OH WAIT, WHAT ABOUT LITTLE?”. Just because they didnt help you to much you don't even have to think about them, Little the last one who was with Ruby.)
5. - Can i just ask small thing - is this whole “this is simplistic understanding or the tree”. Is this another “we self aware and you think too little about our ideas” like what they was having with Curios Cat when they start to speak about some plotpoints in R/WBY story? Or i read too much there? Its probably just me.
6. - I mostly like how Ruby and Blacksmith scenes. Some moment in they dialogs sound nice, i already told about “not enough” part. And in general stuff what Ruby talking about is stuff, that you can find relatable for one part and another. Not be enough, trying to hard to be something, that you dont have to be. You dont have to be all those things that you most likely idealized or wrote impossible plans for yourself which you cannot reach so immediately without stumbling or so impossible for everyone. You dont have to be perfect. This is nice message and the nice story for character to have. People love stories like this and i also love stuff like this. But...it not working fully, when you start think about this and not just “she just like me!”. This cant be just simple story about Ruby be unperfect? We have so many moments when Ruby did mistakes or tried to get what she wants without listening to anyone. Yes she IS the youngest in the team, yes her whole backstory and experience have all right to her to tell us that “i try so hard but im just tired of everything”. But this story dont want tell us a story about going through mistakes. Because she and her team and partly Jaune did mistake in Atlas. But “all huntsman have a moment when they fall, but that doesn't mean they're bad.” Writers, you CAN have both. You can tell us a story about Ruby “stopping believe that she needs to be perfect and if she did mistake to stop and never try again” AND story about “through trauma and dealing with the mistakes she made”. You can have both cakes and eat them both (c). There is a chance that maybe, JUST MAYBE this topic will be brought up, but the next episode will be 20+ minutes long (from what Eddy hinted to us), we need to deal with NekoNeo and Jaune fall at the end of the episode and maybe see Vacuo.
7. - I dont...have specific opinion about Summer scenes and the fact that yes, Alyx was not great person, but got to talk with tree (WITHOUT EVEN DO SOMETHING WITH HERSE-) and then got killed by Curios Cat. Her brother got out without her sister and probably write a story about her in mostly positive way. That all, this part just exists. Its just simple there. Also Neo cant go back to Remrant because “she dont have purpose anymore in that world”. Sooo...Neo dont want to do anything with Cinder anymore? Like, at all? She in this world because Cinder betrayal. Yeah she got opportunity to make Ruby suffer and dance with Roman illusion, but...did she really dont want to do anything with Cinder? After all work she done for her and after all what Cinder shittalk about her and did to her? Really? Like at all? She just chill about that? Also Yang punch corrupted copies of Ruby pretty fast, like almost no fear. And Weiss make Jaune fall sooo he probably dead and also in the tree?
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So what we have? 
We have confirmation that yes, this whole tea story? Suicide - IS solution for you problems because you will have a chance to be who what ever you want. People who important to you? They will chill about this because this is YOUR DECISION. No matter how this story about Ruby “ascension” will end - we have episodes 8 and 9 that portrait this as a positive suicide with broken some rules about how portrait suicide in media. No matter is this was accidentally and nobody in the team did not saw this as a suicide, but as a “growing up”, or they SAW this as a suicide and STILL decide that its will be great to show this as a one of the epic ways to develop Ruby story. This is not the first time when they choose the “cool” way to show something or tell the story in the ways that not that simple and you cant just write without nuance. Those parts is not simple and cool, no matter if you portrait this as a literally or metaphorically. It was repeated many times that they need specialists in the team who will monitor how this or that difficult topic is shown in the series. Or study these topics before writing about them if you dont want to pay for extras in writing room.
Easy solution for heavy parts. WBY dont have to react too much about Ruby because they already full on think that “hey she will return we will just wait and see what ever will happens to her because its her decision” + they have to help Jaune after he see paper pleaser. RWBY do not need to work with the trauma or mistake that they done. They already decide that “hey everybody do mistakes, there is no perfect huntsman! So we dont have to be perfect!”. “This story is simplify too much” character told us about Ever After story and then we got that “Alyx is evil but not really after talking with the tree and then she got killed by Cat”. I love that idea on paper that Cat repeat what “they creator” done to them - betrays those who try to leave them and repeat mistakes, but im not sure its something that was done on purpose? Anyway i got offtopic.
Its really hard to like this episode at all especially if you have a problem with how they're trying to write Ruby's story. You can be like me who is like “oh i love soundtrack in there and how this scenes with Rudy sound” but them those gigantic moments like a lack of\too much chill reaction from WBY and even if Yang got to react later - WB shut her up pretty fast with “this is not for us to decide” and “we have to welcome her with what ever will happens to her”.
Another messy post. I probably forget something, mess out something or just dont want to even talk about something because i...dont even know what was that or some people already tell better what problem is there (I think especially with the parts about Jaune and Weiss, i just have zero interest in shipping nuance as long as it's not an explicit relationship like Ren and Nora or Yang and Blake.). But this episode...trigger to much stuff in my brain.
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spikeinthepunch · 11 months
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rebrand conflict
idk how to decide what is a good or bad decision in terms of like...wanting to rebrand. i wish i could count back to how long i have used "morrysillusion" overall, i dont have a specific date. but i know after the white/brown antelope/wolf fursona, i think i dropped "moreyytilatot"? i think i tried to just go by "morey" in some form (i recall "princemorry" url). and then i dropped the 'nisovinsillusion' url maybe in early 2016? but i also had the coffini url here for a good while after. i cant remember if i used morrysillusion outside of tumblr around that time so. idk...
and heres the thing-- i dont really feel disconnected from my username, its fine and i think its p cool. but also in my head i keep wanting to change it, and part of that is wanting to claim a super old username i have no bad associations with. and i think part of that is bc of all the ways i am trying to do the things i was denied through my younger years-- so i am just reliving a lot of nice things and recalling the vibes and online trend etc i had. but also like.... attitude? personality wise? i feel like im not reflecting that w my current "brand" so to speak. at the very least if i didnt change my username, i still dont feel like the current look is something i want. i think the urge on the username change is just an additional feeling to push away from what i have been under this name.
the username i keep wanting to fall back to is 'spikeinthepunch/spikedpunch' (had the short one on xboxlive and the long one on deviantart) which was a short lived username but has no negative relations to anything, and i wished i kept it for a bit longer. and its kind of an edgy username lol. but in my recent years of growing as an adult, moving out, and being my own person, i feel soooo different than how my accounts have been presenting me. i guess ive been like soft, simple, and stiff in presentation? i think i fell into this when i was thinking id keep doing art commissions etc in a "professional" way, and especially bc i was doing my CN internship around then and wanted to still look presentable for the industry when looking for jobs. and while i certainly would love to work in the creative industry potentially, i obviously dont need to keep up that Normal-er image, i never should have, but also at that age and time i didnt feel like i could be that way at all. i was far more nervous of people interpreting me badly, negatively, etc if i was more edgy or mature. i was young and not dealing with my issues and so fixated on trauma etc.
this is also lining up w my plans to rework my website too. and i think a lot of this feeling also comes along w my "mascot" who i think is lovely! but him being a "mascot" makes him.... very detached from me as a person. i havent had any sonas to relate to in almost over a year... and my mascot was never meant to be a sona, just a Guy to represent my vibe (the colors, aliens) and social media appearance. and i guess i dont like that vibe anymore. i havent even felt all too into the shift i made to Mikike just having a vague spacesuit either, i felt i was just forcing that in order to fit the simple minecraft skin format for readability. (if people were to draw my skin, making it plantigrade and less animal would be easier)
and of course an additional observation i have had in more recent times are manic episodes that make me uproot parts of my life and change a lot of stuff about my identity etc. it may not seem like that happens online but its bc i manage to hold back on changing things abt my online branding lol- but it often results in making sideblogs for whatever new fandom/media i attached to in my episode and irl changing my entire appearance to fit and much more (and promptly drop both in about a month or so- its why i have so many abandoned sideblogs). this is obviously the bigger issue bc its what makes it Very hard for me to not do this (n yes i am in a bit of an episode rn despite my medication so...). and shocker, so many of my username/url changes and failure to ever keep one long enough to form an identity is related to that as well! its a surprise i havent done it in years but it was the expectation to stay with one identity, one look, in order to be Normal and recognized in a professional way, and i dont like that.
making this post and dumping thoughts has me thinking on a solution. as i said i dont really feel detached from my username. but what i dont relate to the most now is the way i feel i have gotten stuck in presenting myself online, and as a "brand". i want to toss out my color scheme, my mascot, my outward attitude. i want to let myself actually present in a way i like and not in a way that feels "clean". when my wcrp got shut down i had to come to the idea of acceptance and letting go of things i cannot control. and the reality of what truly doesnt matter in terms of what people may think of me. that was a huge pressure left on me for YEARS thanks to 2014-16 tumblr mindset and it is so so much harder to break esp if you want to try and be a creator and build an audience. i felt like i had become aware of this, and i have, but i didnt really click the fact that i wasnt into my current online presence bc i was still living with a piece of that era.. the fear of getting popular and being 'called out' for something for years ago, that wasnt even serious or bad, feeling like i was stepping carefully everywhere even when nothing was wrong. this doesnt entirely tie to WHY i want to do all the above. its just an observation on one of the things that hold me back too. just staying the same and staying safe. i hardly ever post, and while its something i chose to do its also a 'bonus' to not giving people much things to read off of me and assume from too.
this is getting too long and i think i have my point. idk what im gonna do but im thinking a lot abt how i should take control of my online life.
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pansyfemme · 10 months
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Hello Jude I am losing my mind waiting for my pakige. How is life treating you? I'm a month on T again! I think my voice is Doing things. But I also was getting over a head cold.... Such is life! (I am all better now!).
Anything fun planned? How are your ocs? What do they do on mundane days? Do your ocs live in a big city? Sometimes, without meaning to my ocs always ended up in a version of the town I grew up in. Does that happen with yours as well?
hellooo elias ^_^ sorry ive been kinda offline the past few days (not completly, but more than usual lol) but i’m at my cousins place in vermont and theres not very stable wifi or cellular up here lol!! Life’s been pretty good! since it was my bday last week im gettin lotsa nice bday wishes (and gift cards) while im seein family lol.. We’re actually going away again in a few days.. nothing crazy just to hang with family in massachusetts but yknow. its exciting. Is the package the shirt u told me abt? And congrats on one month (again)!! my voice started doing shit abt one month in and like. i didnt believe anyone when they told me bc i was like. nah it doesnt do that this early but then it kinda. became obvious. that chart they give you for informed consent is kinda laughable bc the changes vary so much from person to person..
We’re leaving tommorow at 9am and driving like four and a half hours home which im not looking forward to but its kinda funny that that’s a ‘big trip’ for me when i know ppl who travel like. much further without complaint but to be fair i live in like the smallest reigon of usamerica lol.. i think it bugs me most that i cant be on my phone most of the drive bc of there being no signal. again….city/suburb dweller problems. i don’t claim any of my complaints to be particuarly valid…! we’ve come up here every 4th of july i remember.. we’re not rlly partrotic people just tend to have work and school off so its an excuse to meet up for a family gathering.. my extended familys pretty typical irish massachusettsan so theres a lot of us and its a bit loud…
As for my ocs.. ive been thinkin abt them a lot.. their plotline has changed so many times based on changing factors im thinking of rewriting it completly. starting from scratch, just keeping the basic vibe of the characters and setting and editing them pretty liberally.. and yes. their city is soooo based on my hometown its silly. it didnt start off that way. they were in boston at first. and then it made more sense for them to be in a smaller city. and then it made a lot of sense for it to be my city. so it yeah. its set in my city pretty much.. i describe where i live as a small city bc thats what everyone here calls it but its so small a lot of people from bigger states/major cities would call it a town😭 but its like one of the biggest ones in the state lmao.. but like. theres somethin comfy cozy about it. its a very queer, artsy area. i tend to think my ocs would fit in nicely there..
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elytrafemme · 2 years
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ack this is so long but ghostkicks thoughts: prime defenders background: it’s a superhero story! not dnd a diff rpg system. andd william is the guy who has the shirt I said csranboo would wear (that is his life story) whereas dakota has the jacket I said cstommy would like (red and swaggy)
ghostkicks/blueraspberry are soooo qpr coded to me bc to me dakota is aroace Anyway the joke is is that William is a little in love with all of his friends and he’s kind of cringefail about it. in canon he’s especially into other pc Vyncent (guy with KNIFE shirt) which is why ghostknife is very popular. BUT I watched the prime defenders villain oneshot before I watched a lot of the main campaign and william and Dakota are like.. world’s most fucked up evil qpr in that where they literally only trust, like, and look out for each other (they bring Vyncent into this but he’s very much “the new guy”) and I think it completely changed the way I view them in canon akdjs
not always as Obvious as ghostknife but there are a lot of little moments with William and Dakota I like :] a bigger one is when dakota asked William to tango at a party to talk to him about something in secret even though he didn’t need to they could’ve just like.. gone off in a corner
they just have a very interesting dynamic to me and I like that Dakota who is someone very impulsive will still listen to William for any kinda plan. also this is more of an aroace thing than ghostkicks thing but the people Dakota is canonically “attracted” to really feels like someone who doesn’t know he’s aroace and is trying to perform heterosexual attraction liiike it’s Ms. G his superhero idol and then Vyncent’s mum -> aka “safe” people who can’t return anything and I knoooow I’m looking too much into it bc they’re just bits but also…….
anyway dakota and william have a very compelling dynamic and relationship to me and I can’t explain it all here without actively deconstructing and analysing like 60% of their scenes together. basically: I think they could be in a qpr.. also ghostkicks getting together when ghostknife has been so like.. Referenced In Canon would be very funny to me ^_^ hashtag ghostkicks sweep etc etc
OH yes yes yes okay these r the shirt guys!!! so cool didnt know jrwi did things other than d&d but thats so so neat :D
MAJOR FAN OF DYNAMICS WHERE PPL ONLY TRUST ONE OTHER PERSON ... even if there r complexities or certain issues in those relationships the fact that they only trust the other is like. oguhggogoug it gets me
omg the tango at the party scene ... Your honor these bitches are queer! i genuinely love that sooooo much thats so. thats such a good moment im obsessed w that energy i <3 it
sometimes it feels like youre just looking at bits when headcanoning characters as aroace in media w/o explicit aroace characters. what u must remember is that youre always right all of the time and if u think a character is aroace they literlaly are hope this helps ^_^ but yeah dakota's got those vibes from what im hearing Godd bless <3
okay yes i am even more on board w this GET THE GHOSTKICKS SWEEP ON THAT TWITTER POLL I RBED FROM BRACKETT A BIT AGO !!! its a win for the aro community !!!
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yomiurinikei · 2 years
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I'm very very bad at wording things so sorry if this isn't good-
This fandom can be very overwhelming. It's okay if you're stressed and you're allowed to be. It's understandable. While I can't properly relate, as I only found this game when only Chapter 6 wasn't fully translated, and only actually started to engage with the fans recently, this fandom probably has changed a lot. Especially considering how long you've been here.
(And now with Danganronpa Players like Weebly Newz and others playing the games there will be people who have no clue about anything with LINJU, or any past events in this fandom. Whether that's for better or worse depends really.)
It's okay to feel anxious over your past fears. It hard not to be. I think you're a really cool person, with everything you done on your blog. It's so cool to read these analysis! But it you need to stop, then that's okay.
Very glad to hear you are alright, but if you're stressed/worried, a mental break is highly recommended. As an anon who enjoys what you've done.
Take care.
i talked a bt about how much this means to me and its still so so so so lovely to hear but my brain is going wheeee and like. oh my god
i started watching weebys streams when she was first starting dra cuz i know shes a rlly big dr user and so tons of people would be getting into dra and like... i wanted to see what the vibe was?
i was soooo glad she was like. taking mitchs scene with akane seriously and calling it what it was and not going "oh but i like him soooo idc what he did!" and that was so nice. and then later streams there was the whole "cult of mitch stans" in her streams and everything and that was :/ to not see. yk. stanning a sexual harasser being treated as Gross, and so i stopped watching but kept like,, an eye vaguely on her streams? and seeing her go from "it was so gross what mitch did and thats not okay, i dont like him because of that" to "giving into the mitch stans haha!!! cuz.. thats okay that there's countless people stanning a sexual harasser in my streams!!" was just. :////////
i reaaaally wish that she. had stuck with not vibing with him and acknowledging that that was messed up, but. she didnt, and that sucks.
anyways!!!!! thank u so so so much for your kind words, it really means a lot to hear <33 anon singlehandedly saving my desire to post sdra content /lh (but more seriously, singlehandedly saving my esteem/genuinely making me feel like people care about/enjoy my analyses thank u so much-)
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creacherkeeper · 2 years
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ok but what if i want you to answer all the questions for the lost npcs you havent answered yet.... what then? :'D
well your wish is my command!!!!
under cut cause Long
2. Do you find it easy to create NPCs? Why or why not?
i have so much experience creating characters between original fiction, video games, art, and ttrpgs that making characters is extremely easy for me
3. Do you build settings/encounters or NPCs first?
well with lost it was more setting/encounter just because it was supposed to be a short shot so the small, contained setting and murder mystery aspects were "more important" than the npcs. but once we realized it was gonna be long running, the npcs got a lot more fleshed out. brownbird was definitely a balance of character and mechanics when making her stuff
4. Do you usually have a strong sense of who an NPC, or do they tend to be kind of basic/there to serve a purpose?
my npcs go from "here is a basic vibe" to "oh god theyre calling the shots now" fairly quickly. like lizzie was NOT really a person in game 1 and then in game 2 she was like "im going to lash out and arrest hawk because im in love with divine" and i was like yes maam okay maam i guess this is part of the plot now?
6. How do you pick names for NPCs?
in lost theyre all named after country/folk/americana artists, songs, or bands!! it started as an easier way for me to name them (inspired by mr will orville) but then it became long running and the cast list started expanding and i was like oops!! but yeah its mostly Vibes
7. Do you ever use NPC generators?
honestly didnt know that was a thing
which npc is ...
9. The biggest flirt?
brandi has zero shame <333 shes the biggest lesbian but that will not stop her from flirting w men whether they are into women or not
10. The life of the party?
for regular parties, sarah, for Wild Parties, brandi
11. Most unique?
to stop myself from saying brandi again. i think kelseys stuff is .....,, Interesting. they have the kind of backstory i wouldve written when i was 12
13. Most likely to succeed?
well waylon ... Has succeeded? his methods of getting there were :) its hard to name another character because everyone is in lost cause theyre fucked up in some way <3
14. Most likely to be on a reality show?
sarah would simply thrive with the attention and it would Not make her toxic because she would not understand or care that thats what is supposed to happen
15. Most outspoken?
sarah!!!! my girl has no filter (future flashback my beloved)
16. Most evil?
the jack of course :))
17. Best dressed?
probably kelsey. i think theyre the only one who takes advantage of waylons offer to buy the squad nice clothes. overdressed nonbinary rights. also latrowe <333 his god mom makes sure he is a very fancy little coyote
18. Friendliest?
sarah or scruggs <33 also kitten but she is. 7. and my baby <33
19. Most changed?
can i saw latrowe. is that cheating. okay real answer waylon or scruggs :))
20. Least likely to care what superlative they get?
hawk lmaoo. everyone else would pretend not to care but definitely care, or would care soooo much. hawk would simply be like. this is. dumb.
21. Which NPC is the easiest for you to roleplay? Why?
in the bit of screentime he's had, scruggs
22. Which NPC is the most difficult to roleplay? Why?
honestly probably lizzie? she's just sooo different from me. like trying to balance the Restrained Stoic with the Absolute Messy Bitch Disease is. something im working on. she's VERY much her own person but im still figuring out how to inhabit that person
24. Which NPC is YOUR favorite and why?
thats so hard ToT maybe hawk? i have unfortunately inflicted him with Sad Boi Disease so so fast. bea has received so much psychological damage from high insight checks on him <33
26. Which NPC is YOUR least favorite and why?
hmmmm. i do find things to genuinely like about most of my npcs? either dr clark or colter, not because colter doesnt have interesting stuff, he's just sooo not my type
27. Do you have a favorite NPC (ally or enemy) to use in combat?
well i've only used brandi in combat because im REALLY not a combat person. but she's. insane <3 yall did such a good job kicking her ass but she is a vengeance paladin/arcane archer fighter/wild card rogue who has +12 stealth and her max damage in a turn is 217 <33
29. Are there any NPCs you wish you could play as a PC one day?
if i had to choose one as a long running pc it would probably be scruggs but i WOULD have to break him mechanically more <3 playing brandi as a long term pc might. rot my brain.
30. Bonus question! Answer any that you haven’t been asked, or talk about any NPC you want!
one of the players has a little bit of info about brandi backstory :)) <33
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miamigrandprix · 3 months
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dts s2 e4-6
e4: -sorry seb's "says who?" at the start of episode (in response to ferrari telling him what to do) GAGGED sets the tone for the episode PERFECTLY -mattia talks about monza the way indy drivers talk abt the 500 lmao -the whole "there is no #1 driver" bit makes me think hey r there parallels to be drawn between sebchal here and alonso/hamilton in 2007? just thinkin about it -before i get to far i want to share some thoughts: when i first watched this episode with NO prior knowledge it was rly hard to follow. after i heard about the specifics of the ferrari engine controversy (cheating), for the second watch i remember this episode suddenly clicking for me! this episode would've benefitted so much from a will buxton monologue explaining the juicy details for a newish viewer. i understand that there might have been pressure from ferrari to not include those details but it is such a shame, to have such a core piece of information missing and viewers have to try to piece together the narrative without it :/ -HI LAURA WINTER -very much get the impression that seb is like the family member who notices the generational trauma and going hey maybe we should change things to stop that and gets exiled from the family instead :) those sure are the vibes -HI CHARLOTTE -im sorry the back to back "seb has a lack of confidence with the car. and charles' car is not performing" like theyre the same car but you're gonna frame it like its seb's fault but not charles's? mattia choke -at the part where they're explaining the engine controversy--i still stand by wishing they explained it better and EARLIER because i think its much needed context for the first half of the episode too -at the end of the day all i need to know is that seb clearly thought that what ferrari did was wrong, and thats all i need to know if he says so then i believe it!! -the way netflix is trying to tease like ~oh imagine all the different teams he could go to! who wouldnt want him~ is so cheeky but also i NEED to know what this was like live when yall didnt know where he was going i'm JEALOUS i wish i got to be there for it all to unfold -double ferrari dnf at monza must've been crazy to watch live too lmao -seb zigzagging through all the photographers on his bicycle. love him -seb announcing his new seat the same weekend as ferrari's 1000th is crazy ex girlfriend levels of unhinged (pos). like posting ultrasound pics the same day as your ex's wedding type of shit. no one does it like him -sorry im incapable of watching ferrari episodes without writing an essay. hope you enjoyed
ep5: -the great daniel/cyril divorce -i cant remember who said it or where i saw it but when i first got into f1 properly someone talked about how Different things might've been if there hadn't been covid--since the season was delayed, the contract was signed before reneault could have any races with daniel that year--so daniel could only make that decision based off 2019 races -the jump clearly did not work out for him but alpine also went to shit too. but if cyril hadn't left who knows. i think all of daniel's choices make sense honestly!!!! he just got very unlucky -anyway their dynamic is insane and they deserve soooo many more fic than they have!! -"it's probably a bit like being dumped by a girlfriend, but she hasn't moved out of the house yet." christian did eat with this one. unfortunately -i love cyril but him being the one to actually complain about the pink mercedes feels very..... my wife is divorcing me so i'm gonna sue my neighbors over the property line -"i hate those fucking pink cars" oh i need to gif that. i'll be watching and i'll just KNOW like yeah that needs to be in the next gifset -i cant believe i havent mentioned it yet renault colors are the BEST daniel has ever looked i miss having yellow n black on the grid. maybe thats why alpine went to shit they gave up the best color combo they could have
e7: -pierre redemption episode!!! i think this is one of the best episodes ever tbh. very cathartic movie plotline really ticks all the boxes -HI PATRICK -ok but the fact that dts NEVER covered alex's podiums w red bull after milking the shit out of his missed podiums is a hate crime to me personally -onboards going through eau rouge are scary af. -filled with rage at how christian horner chews up new drivers and spits them up (even though its all so predictable at this point. no one will ever live up to the golden boy) -i remember seeing people complain that the williams family leaving wasn't given focus in dts, if anyone has any fun video essays about that i'd love to watch! -i do take issue with will buxton saying "red bull can't admit they made a mistake (with alex)" i think red bull made a mistake with promoting ANYONE too early and expecting too much from them, but not in a pierre v alex way. neither of them were given enough time or support by red bull to flourish. and they lowkey admitted that recently lmao -but it /is/ cathartic to know that red bull have tried to get alex back since then and he doesn't need his toxic ex in his life anymore no thanks ✌️ -i just know i'll LOVE watching this race in full -they set up the suspense so well for the end of the race -and it really is. if carlos had won this race with mclaren, his first win, how different would the trajectory of his career been -ANYWAY theres something that just always gets me about men holding all their emotions in right until they cross the finish line and they finally allow themselves to feel the emotions. (recent example that made me SOB was theo when he won f2) i also love how much it clearly meant to the alphatauri guys in the garage. last time that happened was with seb for torro rosso yeah? so its clearly so so special
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journalsandshit · 6 months
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11/06/2022 - journal
today was like the most wonderful day ever.
jack called at like 8 in the morning and woke me up but he talked to me and was really sweet about it. then he was like "do you wanna go back to sleep or dyou wanna have a morning arc" and i said i wasnt gonna sleep more even tho i totally wouldve bc i wanted to see him so i went to pick him up.
i got him at like 825 and we went to shipleys and then back to the apartments but the movie room was locked so we went to chads apartment and watched hannibal on the couch together. chad was NOT happy that i had him there at like 930 in the morning but idrc bc its supposed to be my house too right??? so at like 10 we thought the movie room would be open so we went to check but it wasnt so we went to the car and just like.. drove around for a couple hours.
we went to this neighborhood that was superrrr weird bc jack wanted to walk on a bridge thing in a bayou/lake/pond thing. the whole vibe was so off like.. the house numbers were 2-95 and the grass was soooo soft and there were no fucking people and the noises, the fucking noises like why tf were they like thatttt. like it sounded like at disney worlds animal kingdom where they have those speakers playing noises but you cant hear them when you get far enough away. but anyway we walked on the bridge and then on like an island thingy and talked about the zombie apocalypse as we do. the plan is actually getting really good now, its kind of a shame theres not gonna be an apocalypse bc i lowkey wanna see if this shit would work.
then we went to mcdonalds bc he wanted a drink and drove around for a long ass time just.. planning our apocalypse and it was so so nice to just drive around and talk while he shifted gears for me lol.
then we went back to the movie room bc it was finallyyyyy open and we watched more hannibal and played golf for a while before it started to rain.
it rained superrr hard and we left our shit in the theater and stood and ran around in the rain. we walked around the path around the apartment complex pool which was soooo nice but we were fucking soaked so we got our shit from the movie room and walked back (IN THE RAINNN) to chads where we dried off. i changed and gave him my shirt and we prepped everything to run it down to the car. then we sat in the car for like an hour or so just golfing and watching tiktoks on his phone before we went back to mcdonalds to get him lunch.
we went to his house after that and played through an entire deck of cards against humanity which was amazinggg bc were like.. the same fucking person so half the time the cards were like.. almost the same. he absolutely destroyed me but i didnt care at all bc i had such a good time.
he called me later and talked with me about my surgery and how he would wait for me to wake up at my bedside if something went wrong ("you know if anything went wrong and then you were fine i would race to the hospital after school to sit with you and watch twilight by your bed until you wake up").
overall it was just a really amazing day and im so glad i got to spend it with him. i love him so much and it means so much to me that he actually wants to spend this much time with me.
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renewingagain · 7 months
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monday 2 october 2023 // 10:38pm
sooooo the inevitable happened and rhys messaged me saying he doesnt he feels how he was feeling before and that he doesnt feel the romantic connection progressing.
i am annoyed that it took him a while to say that - however i acknowledge he is a busy individual i just wish i knew sooner so i wasnt fretting about. however im comparing a bit to when i felt the same towards max - i knew i wanted to tell him and be honest, but i wanted to do it when i actually had the time to think about what i wanted to say
i cant complain really - this is the dating game and this is how it works! you go on dates with people and see the vibe. people are allowed to change their mind, i have done it myself. i am just not used to being on the receiving end - in fact im pretty sure this is the first time this has ever happened to me so the feelings i am feeling right now feel weird and new
the message he sent me was actually nice. he mentioned he did genuinely have a lovely time with me and that i am a nice person, and said thank you for the mems. it is true - had a lovely time everytime i saw him, especially over pride. pride was wonderful and really good vibes. i got a bit carried away in my head about us because he made me realise that he has a lot of qualities i want in a person - especially things like someone who isnt shy, loves meeting people, and has a big heart to help people and someone who demonstrates selflessness
i figured it was when he first came over that i was a bit boring or something - but we then agreed to see each other again and he would tell me he misses me etc. then i went to his for a night in manchester - tbh i didnt have the best time just because the club was a bit boring. but dinner was nice and i enjoyed hanging with him and his friends. part of me is like uhhhhhh so when did it change. and also i acknowledge that we are in different cities - but in order to see if there is a romantic connection you have to put in some effort? which i dont really feel like i was getting after that manchester day. idk, my head is a bit spun over it. however he could have been feeling this whenever. there is 0 point in me trying to pinpoint when things changed and evaluate - im sure if i did something wrong he would have said. but he said he genuinely had a good time so its done now innit. i did really like him but i know i will get over it
if i was chatting to someone else in my position i would be like listen yeah, take the L, at least u know where u stand, and that there are over 8 billion people in this world - someone somewhere will literally love you for exactly who you are and you will find your person
SHOULD i even be looking for a relationship right now? see im conflicted on this - i totally do want a relationship, however, i am so so soooo busy with stuff and also i dont want to develop a relationship while im unsure as to where my life is going in terms of my career. i think this will become much more clearer once this job interview passes - i really hope i get it! gotta put in the work though!!!!!!!
once again, i want to be more loving to everyone, & in everything i do. 1 Corinthians 14:1 states to let love be your highest goal. how do i keep this attitude in everything i do? i don't want my mood to influence my actions and the way that i love and choose to love in certain moments. i really want to love wholeheartedly and selflessly in everything i do. i want to be kind. i know i am generally a kind person but i could be kinder and nicer. i love to make people feel good, loved, happy, encouraged. if they are feeling shit i want to make them better. people deserve happiness
on the flip-side i may be seeing lewie to chat through stuff as that kinda deaded off a bit but not in the way i intended. i do care about him, and he is owed my honesty
anyway im tired, but lets make love, fitness, and job interview the priorities these next couple weeks. i went on another run today and even did a couple pull-ups - boy do i feel so much better for it! it really helps my mental health
peace and love G
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atomatanibne · 10 months
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out of all of your favorite character, who would you say is the least popular or most obscure?
cw: straight people i was thonking hard for this one... my most obscure fave would be Kurumi Sahana from an ecchi manga that i was obsessed with in 2017. its named sundome and i will.. explain in the following paragraphs why i like this one a bit too much
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it starts as a regular ecchi (with nasty vibes) its about two highschoolers, straight guy gets interested in the girl and the girl is sort of flirty etc etc etc . the comedy revolves around dick jokes which gets me laughing real hard because i have the mental capacity of a 14 year old
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but then after some point these two start... a real actual.. semi healthy... kinky dom sub relationship..?? i mean they explore their wants and needs.... in a.......... normal human way????
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they are able to communicate with each other??? communication? in my romance manga? never done before. show stopping... also they still act like highschoolers... but not dumb highschoolers... u get me...
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oh and. it gets. real fucking profound. REAL PROFOUND. the only manga other than trimax i needed to take breaks while reading because it made me feel too many stuff LMAOOO
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its about love and how loving someone can improve you as a person... its about trust... (and orgasm denial and golden showers)... i think it really changed my brain chemistry back then. i reread it a few months ago and well its still as good as i remember, i just have a few more microaggressions with some of the jokes. (this one is awesome though)
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and kurumi s awesome because. she s a really complex character..................she s......... very compelling to think about...
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she's so mysterious and dominant but soooo vulnerable at the same time... and its so easy to love her because the straight guy loves her so much and ....... he keeps sharing how he loves her.... and his love is real huge that you cant help but share it... its our wife now..... sorry.....
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oh and the ending. i will not be spoiling anything. but it explodes my balls like holy shit. damn. makes an impression kinda... hits home with a wrecking ball kinda ending. i ended up writing a whole essay............................ its ok if you didnt reply to this at all im sure it takes 10 minutes to read damn..... it would be funny if you knew the manga tho ....... (obscure? ??really ibne you must be joking this was the shit at 2016 reddit) have a great day.. love u......
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glitterskeinscar · 11 months
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I only had a little time in the sunlight but shiny and smooth made this much more enjoyable then the project I was doing. Mix of lion brand truboo in sand and summer nights in ocean cove. The pastel color change is very pretty. Trying to make a floppy sun hat but didnt use a pattern soooo its started floppy with too many increases too quickly and havent counted stitches just vibes.
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tk-writer · 1 year
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⭐️⭐️⭐️
I politely request some directors commentary for your fics.
fics?!? as in PLURAL?!?? with a 's'???
*cracks knuckles*
lets GOOOOOOO (infodump below le cut)
SOOOOOOOO in my most recent shadamy fic, i had them go to an indie neo-soul concert instead of Honet Pot or whatever tf that band was in MoStH. and thats because i had just gone to a Liv.e concert and wanted to incorporate that into the story since it was an AMAZING concert, plus the genre fit the vibes/tone i was going for moreso than a peppy pop singer :) and also i want more ppl to listen to her cuz shes phenomenal. my taste in music is superior, pls trust me on this
for the ongoing surgeamy fic i'm in the midst of writing, all of surge's dialogue and inner thoughts are what i say to myself when im having a bad bpd episode. and everything amy says to her is what i wish someone would say to me when i get bad. i see myself in both of them!! i kinda view them as my dark side thats angry and full of self hatred and my brighter side thats loving and sweet and compassionate!!
the one shot surgeamy fic was a rewrite of an old catradora fic that now seems awkward and weird when i look back on it lol. the setting and plot fits surgeamy soooo much better tho. originally i wrote it when i was pining hard for this girl who was my good friend, who kept getting fucked over by lame guys, and i wanted to swoop in like captain save a hoe like the raging bisexual i am lol. she ended up being super toxic and narcissistic tho so i dodged a bullet 🌚
when i wrote the amnesia sonamy fic, it was going to be TOTALLY different from the final draft. i was actually going to have amy lead sonic through her mind, but i didnt think it would hit as hard emotionally so i changed it to have her actively fighting against him, to depict her internal conflict of trying to forget him + trying to preserve her memories of him. i kinda wanna make an alternate ending or even another separate amnesia fic, but that shit was difficult to write so im gonna wait on that lmao.
in pieces of cloud, i realized i lowkey kin amy skfhsjd. i projected so much of myself into her character, from her bpd diagnosis (that no one has noticed yet cuz its such a small detail hehehe) to her fear of abandonment & anxious attachment style. all of that was taken from me and my personal real life experiences!! AND the therapist's dialogue is everything my current therapist tells me when i'm having an episode! its good advice so i wanted to share it 💗 and also heal amy cuz I LOVE HER (just like i love me! 🩷) also im still debating on writing an epilogue for it!! wanted a post frontiers scene but not sure if that would add anything to the story or not!
boom boom into my heart was supposed to be like 25 chapters, but after trying to write a few "fillers" i realized i hated them and they lacked the passion and excitement of earlier chapters. so i ended it early when i thought it felt more natural. im kinda bummed i couldnt stretch the slow burn a little longer, but i also didnt wanna drag it out or have it become boring just for the sake of being longer. does that make sense?
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