#but idk since it’s reciprocated by both parties

[sunrizef1]

Guilty as sin?

Pairing: Max Verstappen x reader | (side) Lando Norris x reader

Warnings: Emotional cheating

Word count: 1.8k

Authors note: hate this kinda idk | Not proofread | I also do not condone cheating, this is just based on a Taylor swift song do not come for me

———————————————————

A text lights up your phone, illuminating the dark of your hotel room with the shine of a text message. You glance down at your sleeping boyfriend beside you, checking to see if he’s still deeply asleep before picking up your phone and sliding it open.

Max <3

The Downtown Lights - The Blue Nile

*Spotify link attached*

You sigh, closing your phone and setting it back onto your nightstand, eyes shutting tightly. You glance back over to Lando, asleep beside you, willing him to suddenly be a shittier person so you could feel less guilty about this.

Not that you and Max had done anything. You hadn’t. But it didn’t stop you from daydreaming about the Red Bull driver. It hadn’t stopped him either, apparently. You had heard the song, of course you had. Max sending it only confirmed that the less than platonic feelings between you were, in fact, reciprocated.

Just as you’re about to roll over and return to the sleep that had been evading you for more than a few hours, your phone lights up once again.

Max <3

I know you saw that

Come up to the roof

See you there

You roll your eyes at the texts, arrogance bleeding through every letter. Although, despite your holier than thou attitude, you do slide out of the bed, reaching down to a slide on a pair of slippers, praying the bed won’t creak as you stand up. Your feet pad quietly across the carpet of the hotel room, steps muffled by the fluff in your shoes.

You turn your phone to face the room, hoping it’s enough light to illuminate your way out. You step around your suitcase in the middle of the floor, cursing quietly as your foot catches on the zipper slightly. You catch yourself though, quickly grasping your key card and exiting the room.

Once you’re in the hallway, you let out a deep sigh, face relaxing under the fluorescent lights. You bit your lip, debating how worth it this tryst would be. You were fairly certain you were both into each other. All this meeting would be was another interaction where you both ignore your feelings and you have to lock the hints he was dropping away in a vault to never be considered again.

Even after considering the cons, you push yourself away from the wall, walking toward the stairs. You were already on the top floor so all you had between you and Max was a single set of stairs. You run a hand through your hair, hoping you don’t have a bad case of bedhead. Not that you had gotten enough sleep to mess your hair up at all anyway.

You slide the door open and set foot upon the stairs, trying not to wobble too much. Every step feels like it takes twenty minutes, every one leading to an unknown fate at the top. Your footsteps echo around the dark hall, sound bouncing off the concrete walls.

When you get to the top, you push the door open gently, cold air rushing to hit you as you step out. The door shuts closed behind you with a slam and you’re suddenly not sure if you’ll be able to get it open again. But it wasn’t really the time to care about that as your eyes lock on a familiar Dutch man sat on the edge of the roof.

Your feet patter gently against the roof, each step feeling quieter than the last. You take your time in approaching him, his head not even having turned your way since you set foot upon the place he had invited you. Not that you wanted him to turn around. You were worried that locking eyes with him would make you run away, or worse, make you more inclined to stay. So you just walk quietly to the edge, carefully swinging your legs over the side to sit a few feet away from him.

You’re not too worried about falling. There’s another edge just a few yards below you, no doubt there to stop rich drunk people from taking a nosedive off the roof during a party or after a wild night.

Cold air slides across your unusually warm face, heated with the reality of the situation. It’s not windy though, which is nice. Instead it’s just a nice chill, cold seeping through your thin sleep shirt and into your skin.

“I knew you’d come,” Max’s voice breaks the tranquility of the moment, cutting through the air with a familiar arrogant tilt.

You fight the urge to roll your eyes, instead opting to hum lightly, eyes still locked onto the cityscape below you. You’d always loved Las Vegas. The city was always bursting with life and it was just so pretty to look at. Especially from above. It has shocked you when you’d walked out and the roof was empty. You’d’ve thought there’d be an abundance of people considering how little the city sleeps to begin with. You were honestly surprised Lando had chosen to stay asleep in your hotel room instead of stay out partying. Maybe when you’d told him it’d be better for him to get some sleep for once, he’d actually listened.

Maybe you should’ve listened to your own advice. You should’ve stayed asleep and completely avoided Max. Maybe then you wouldn’t feel like spewing your guts out on the many drunkards below.

“Not going to say anything, then?” Max laughs and you can feel his gaze on the side of your face. You fight the strong urge to lock eyes with him, “You don’t get to act like I’m the one coercing you here. You also chose to come up here.”

He’s right, of course. But you weren’t going to give him the satisfaction of knowing you wanted him just as much as he wanted you.

“Do you even like him?” Max questions and you can feel your stomach drop. You’d been thinking about that exact question for months now and you honestly were dreading the answer. You finally look away from the buildings in front of you to take a quick glance toward Max, his eyes already trained on yours.

You sigh, warm breath clouding in the cold night air, “I don’t know.”

Max makes a face at your words, shaking his head, “What do you mean you don’t know? How can you not know if you like your boyfriend?”

You roll your eyes, looking away from him again, arms crossing across your torso tightly, “I mean I don’t know, Max. I know the answer you want, trust me, I do. If it helps, I don’t love him. Not anymore, at least.”

“Yeah, no shit. I knew that. I’m asking if you like him,” Max scoffs, shifting closer to you. You roll your eyes again, finally giving in and turning your body toward his.

“He’s a fine person, Max. It just feels like neither of us even want this relationship anymore.”

“Then why are you still dating him?”

That makes you stop dead, letting out a shaky breath as you accept that you’d finally have to open up to the man next to you, “We’ve been together so long, I’ve tried so hard to make it work. I thought we were going to get married, honestly.”

You glance nervously over to Max, expecting to see an angry look on his face. Instead you’re met with one of understanding which shocks you back into speaking again, “I would’ve said yes if he’d asked.”

Max hums, discreetly shifting a bit closer as he turns to stare out at the city below you. You wait for his response with bated breath, praying he doesn’t hate you for basically leading him on.

“But he didn’t ask.”

“Yeah,” you nod, face filled with remorse for your relationship, “He didn’t.”

Max hums again, glancing above the two of you at the shining lights casting a soft glow upon the pair of you. Music begins to play softly from somewhere down below you. When you glance over the edge, you’re met with a street band preforming a nice ballad, swaying along to their melodies. When Max stands up, you think he’s going to leave you entirely but your eyebrows shoot up when he holds out a hand instead.

“Come on,” He says and you can feel your heart flutter as you catch the soft smile on his face. Something that hadn’t happened with Lando in a long while.

You grasp you hand in his, feeling the warmth of his larger hands spread into your chilly ones. He pulls you up gently, although maybe adding a bit too much strength as you fall flush against his chest. You laugh and stumble back a bit, hands still clutching his. He pulls you into a sway, gliding along to the melodic notes that float up from down below. You sit and take in the quiet moment for a little while, eventually moving your head to rest against his chest. The silence is broken when you glance up and see Max already looking down at you.

“I’m not gonna cheat on Lando,” you mumble, eyes softening as you stare up, “He doesn’t deserve that.”

If Max disagrees, he keeps it to himself well enough, choosing to nod instead, “I wouldn’t expect you to.”

You hum, placing your head back on his chest, “I do think about you though.”

Max tilts his head and his eyebrows furrow as the words leave your mouth. When you catch his expression, you feel the need to explain, “Just in life. Everything I do, I think about you doing it with me. I don’t know, just accept the compliment that I think about you when you’re not around, please.”

You can feel Max’ laugh rumble through his chest and you glance up to see his head titled back and his eyes closed as he chuckles softly before glancing back at you, smile still painting his face, “I can live with that. For now.”

You take a page out of his book and just hum in response, eyes falling closed as you, once again, lean against him. The two of you sway to the music for a while, only stopping when it does as well. You find yourself praying it never does so you never have to return to your reality where your boyfriend of six years has refused to put a ring on it so you went to one of his friends for emotional comfort and ended up falling in love with him. But the music does stop and you do return to that reality, feet padding softly down the hotel stairs.

You slide your keycard in the door, wincing at the sound it makes as it accepts it. You support the door as it closes, toeing off your shoes and tossing the keycard on your nightstand. You plug your phone into the charger, glancing down at the new texts on your home screen before sliding them away and rolling over to, hopefully, find sleep in a sleepless night.

Max <3

I'll wait for you btw

I knew about him

But now I know about you

If he kills me it'd be a wonderful way to die

For you

I'd wait forever, darling

————————————————————

Tags: @casperlikej @evie-119

#scheduled #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 x female reader #f1 x y/n #f1 x you #f1 smau #max verstappen x you #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen x female reader #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen fluff #lando norris x female reader #lando norris x you #lando norris x reader #lando norris x y/n

[pleasedonthurtcjstar]

Them

#intruality #sanders sides #I still think about them being crime husbands #but for now #it’s just them being deadly in love with each other #blood #tw blood #and on some level maybe this is considered #yandere #but idk since it’s reciprocated by both parties #oh and #eyes #tw eyes #patton sanders #remus sanders #moodboard

[hischierswhore]

hiii, could you write some angst to fluff with nico?

like maybe they into a big argument, but end up resolving everything

thaankss🫶🏼

jealousy is a good thing

pairing: nico hischier x bff!reader

a/n: hi anon! i kind of steered away from the whole 'argument' plotline but i think this turned out cute?? idk.

You were currently at some party with Nico and the rest of the team. You were talking to Luke when you excused yourself to go grab a water bottle, as you suddenly felt the urge to drink some water. On your way to the fridge, you saw the worst sight possible: Nico chatting away with Y/bff. This wasn't the first time you'd witnessed the two together. They looked comfortable in each others presence, which made you feel kind of weird for some reason.

As much as you loved Nico and he was one of the most adorable people on earth, it still bothered you seeing him hanging out with someone other than you.

You'd grown to have a massive crush on Nico, your best friend of 4 years. You'd become friends when he started playing with the Devils, and had slowly fallen in love with him ever since. The biggest issue was that you couldn't bring yourself to tell him how you felt because you didn't want to risk losing him.

So now here you were, watching Nico act all happy and close to Y/bff, thinking about what you should do. Tell him how you feel? Go talk to Y/bff? Confront both of them? All these thoughts flew through your head in seconds, causing your mind to run rampant.

You were lost in thought when a hand grabbed yours from behind. You turned around to see Nico smiling at you. He handed you a water bottle and you smiled back as you muttered a quiet "Thanks" before heading off towards Luke once again, leaving Nico standing next to the fridge confused.

He stared at you as you walked away, but his face soon returned to its normal expression as he continued to chat with Y/bff.

They pair continued chatting the night away and you just didn't want to be there anymore. Not knowing what to do, you headed home early to avoid being a third wheel. Once you arrived home, you got ready for bed and cried yourself to sleep at the thought of your love for Nico not being reciprocated.

You woke up in the middle of the night to someone rubbing your back. You slowly opened your eyes and realized it was Nico, who was gently rubbing your back in an attempt to wake you.

You sat up slightly and rubbed your eyes as you yawned, "What's wrong?"

"Oh nothing, I just wanted to see if you're okay. You left the party and didn't tell anyone" He replied as he pulled away from your back. He noticed the faint tear marks on your face, even though the room was dark. "Are you okay? What happened?"

"Nothing really, I was just tired." You lied. It was true you weren't tired, you were crying yourself to sleep at the fact that you liked Nico more than he liked you. He was probably trying to comfort you by waking you up, not realizing that he was actually making you feel worse.

He nodded as he let out a small sigh. He sat down on the edge of your bed as he began to play with your hair, "Are you sure you're alright? You seem like you aren't yourself."

"I'm fine, Nico. Just go back to the party and talk to Y/bff again or something" You replied quietly as you tried to ignore the confusion in his voice. You knew Nico cared about you, but it was only a friendship. No matter how much you wanted it to be more, you knew it wouldn't happen.

There was a silence that filled the pitch black room, that is until Nico reached for the lamp on your bedside table and turned the dim lights on. You could finally see Nico's face, and he could see yours in much better detail.

"Y/bff? What are you talking about?" Nico asked as he looked into your eyes. Your cheeks were bright red and you were nervously avoiding eye contact.

"It doesn't matter. Just leave me alone" You snapped as you curled up into a ball and you felt the first fresh tear land on your cheek. You hated this part of being in love with someone; dealing with the rejection when they didn't return your feelings.

The tears started flowing once again as Nico brushed his hand up and down your back, attempting to soothe you. But he failed miserably, because instead of calming you down, it only caused you to cry even harder.

Nico felt his heart breaking into a million pieces as he watched you wither away in front of him.

"Y/n please talk to me. What's going on?" Nico pleaded as he lightly shook you. You slowly opened your eyes and glanced over at Nico, noticing the hurt look in his eyes.

"Just go back to the damn party and talk to Y/bff, since she's apparently caught your eye lately" You snapped before rolling over onto your stomach.

Nico was silent for a few moments as he stared at you, wanting to know why you said those words to him.

"You think I'm into Y/bff?" He asked with a sad tone. "Is that what this is about?"

The silence on your end spoke volumes. The way your body language changed gave it away, and it killed Nico to hear the truth spoken aloud.

Nico's heart dropped to the floor as you sobbed uncontrollably into your pillow. He hated that he was the reason behind your tears. Tears ran down your cheeks as you buried your face into the soft material. A lone tear rolled down his cheek and landed on your arm, causing you to stop sobbing and turn to look at him.

"I'm not into Y/bff, you know" He whispered.

You hesitated to answer him as you gazed at his face, desperately trying to figure out what to say.

"But you've both been super chatty lately and hanging out a lot more" You finally uttered.

"Well I didn't want to have to tell you but she's been giving me dating advice on this girl I like" Nico confessed.

"And the last thing I want is for the girl I’m after to think I'm going after her other best friend, especially considering me and this girl are best friends." Nico continued.

You froze, unable to speak. Your mind went completely blank as you listened to Nico explain what was going on. The last thing you expected was for Nico to actually reveal that he was into you. Was he serious? Had he always been into you? You felt faint as you thought about everything that just happened.

When you finally regained control of your senses, you quickly turned to face Nico. There was no mistaking the large smile plastered across his face. You blushed deeply as you attempted to fight back your emotions.

"What?" Nico asked with excitement.

"Do you mean it?" You squeaked.

Nico laughed as he nodded vigorously. "Of course I mean it!"

Your heart soared as you smiled brightly at Nico, reaching forward to hug him. He embraced you tightly as you continued to cry, this time tears of joy.

After another minute, you broke apart from each other. Nico looked at you with the goofiest face possible.

"Were you jealous, schatzi?" He teased.

You rolled your eyes, "Shut up."

He chuckled as he patted your shoulder, "It's okay to admit it, sometimes jealousy is a good thing."

taglist

@lovelynikol16

(if you'd like to be added to the taglist for any of the players i write for, please let me know!)

#✎ natalie writes #nico hischier #nico hischier fluff #nico hischier angst #nico hischer x reader #nico hischier imagine #nico hischier x y/n #nico hischier x you #nico hischier fic

[youremyheaven]

The Dark Side of Jupiter💀🚬🍾🎊

There is a lot of discussion around Jupiter's abundance, its boundless energy, its expansiveness. But what about the dark side of Jupiter?

Being so giving can be so tiring. To simply never run out of fuel or feel depleted can mean that you have no sense of boundaries. You simply don't know whether you've pushed yourself too hard. Being burnt out for a Jupiter native just means that the endless energy they give to others/everything in their life is not reciprocated in the same way because very few people can return the same energy. This results in a kind of emptiness that cannot be appropriately described.

It's part of their nature to give but to always be pouring to others and to soak everything up means there is very little exchange of energies. You always feel like you're "too much for others"; you have too much energy or you don't have the appropriate channels for it.

The Jupiter need for constant stimulation is seldom addressed, without it, a native feels spaced out and "dry on the inside". Jupiter natives when they're out of balance can be prone to substance abuse, hypersexual behaviour and everything else. Virtue is an innate part of a Jupiter native, so they naturally do not possess a taste or preference for these things but that is not to say they are incapable of it. But they still possess the ability to quit things cold turkey unlike say Ketu or Rahu (Nodal people and their tendency to be prone to addictions is a topic for discussion for another day) because they don't inherently have a shadow-y nature that makes them dependant. They just need a direction to channel their energies and they will tire of it/grow bored of it pretty quickly.

Boredom is the most dangerous feeling. It can make people do things that love, hatred and anger can't. Imagine what this is like for Jupiter natives who are already too intense and too prone to feeling the depths of every emotion.

Jupiter natives are often described as "too much to handle" for many people. Especially for certain Mercurial natives, typically Ashlesha since Revati's boundless in its own way and Jyeshta natives come from a place of lack so they're endlessly projecting outwards. Ashlesha natives are the most energetically conservative of all Mercury naks and is in general, one of the most inwardly drawn naks and they feel easily drained by Jupiter natives, especially Jupiter women.

Idk if its ever been described this way but this is how I see it. Jupiter is a masculine planet but its ever expansive nature is supremely Yin. Therefore it manifests differently for men and women. Obviously there is a tendency to be people pleasers but it does not come from a place of negativity or desire to suck up to people, others just can't fathom what its like to process and contain information the way Jupiter natives do, they just naturally absorb the energies of others and project it back on to them. This is also another reason why they are so polarising. They're easy targets because if someone reflected back everything you hated about yourself, you'd be bound to hate them. They're mirrors.

The Pisces urge to dissociate has been covered extensively but no one ever talks about the exhilarating highs and crushing lows of being a Jupiter native. They feel so consumed by stimulation. They're the type of people who after spending time with others or partying or whatever, they come back home and they simply can't chill, they're so restless and manic and hyped up, they can't sit still; they don't feel drained by all that social interaction, they get high off of it, its hard to describe what that's like to someone who feels easily drained by others and needs to remain self contained to avoid feeling burnt out.

Punarvasu & Ashlesha both have Cat yoni which is a very restrictive yoni but since Punarvasu is Jupiter ruled, they have this capacity to be very expansive even if there are external limits placed on them. Ashlesha in addition to having a cat yoni is also Mercury ruled; mercury is the smallest planet, this adds to the restriction and limitations and makes them inwardly drawn and unable to give at all.

Punarvasu is the most grounded of Jupiter naks for this reason; there is a limit or some kind of grounding to their energies meanwhile with Vishaka and Purvabhadrapada, they fully embrace the darkness and intensity of Jupiter. Its interesting how Punarvasu is the only deva gana nakshatra among Jupiter naks. Vishaka is the height of Jupiter and is a rakshasa gana nak which represents how the extremes of anything, even a so-called abundant planet can manifest as villainy. All power corrupts but absolute power corrupts absolutely. Purvabhadrapada is the final Jupiter nak and a manushya gana nak because the culmination of Jupiter's energies is to integrate the evil with the divine and thats what makes us fully human.

Jupiter natives are prone to manic behaviour but when it comes crashing down, simply because others around them probably don't have a good threshold for this sort of hyperactivity, they feel "too out of control" but also "too out of touch" since they truly are in a different sort of reality; Punarvasu delulu behaviour require its own post; its wild that a lot of people interpret that as "innocence" when what it really is this is urge to expand endlessly and consume everything within reach- it may seem like a childlike curiosity to explore and try things but there is a scary and dark side to it.

I've noticed how many Jupiter natives exhibit bipolar- adjacent behaviour (TW!!!!) they are most prone to the manic highs and crushing lows and swinging back and forth between it from day to day.

Obviously I'm not saying all Jupiter natives are like this but I'm talking about ways in which the dark side of Jupiter manifests. Its almost similar to that of Rahuvian people.

If you look at the charts of famous people who've struggled with addiction and/or bipolar disorder, majority of them have Ketu influence but there are numerous examples of Jupiter natives as well since Jupiter natives are not dependent on it in the same way (remember they're not bound to anything, they can quit things cold turkey if they choose to, they just like the mania and the high and only boredom will make them stop).

Here's a small list of celebs who've struggled with bipolar disorder:

Vivien Leigh- Swati Sun, Mars in Punarvasu atmakaraka

Mariah Carey- Punarvasu Moon

Sinead O'Connor- Jyeshta Sun & Venus along with a Vishaka stellium (rising, mercury and ketu)

Mel Gibson- Punarvasu Rising, Mars in Vishaka atmakaraka, Rahu in Jyeshta

Chyler Leigh- Vishaka Moon

She interestingly played a drug addict in the alternate reality episode of Grey's Anatomy and suffered from addiction as a teenager.

Regarding her bipolar disorder she has said, “I was experiencing such a high version of mania and irritability that I couldn’t sleep or eat, and I was angry and reckless,” Leigh says. “I would go to work and use that adrenaline and expend my energy and feelings there, and then I would come home exhausted.”

Halsey, who is Punarvasu Moon (Swati stellium) has been open about her struggles with bipolar disorder and here are some quotes from some of her interviews that I feel like explain Jupiter nature quite well;

“That’s why I tour so much. I release endorphins, serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine. Like, it’s literally a drug response,” said Halsey

Part of the reason why some Jupiter natives who are more balanced, tend to stay off of drugs or partying or other indulgences entirely is because they don't really need substances to feel high, they experience the highs, lows, relapses, resistance, withdrawal symptoms of drugs just by feeling emotions in the massive, expansive Jupiterean way that they do. I really don't know if I'm driving home this point enough, but really, this biggest goddamn planet, imagine containing that much space and energy within yourself, you're like a defenceless sponge, you pick up on everything whether you want to or not. There's a reason why some of the biggest pop stars, celebrities and people of all time have been Jupiter natives; some people can be in the public eye, facing the projections of millions of people and only go slightly insane and those are Jupiter natives; in fact they need an outlet of that capacity; something that's large enough to contain them.

Here's some more quotes:

 “Nobody wants to be my friend. They’re scared I’m gonna pop off about something. I’m drama by association. I put myself out there with my peers; I don’t know if people really ever wanted to do the same with me. So I stopped wasting my energy.”

Other people not meeting you on your level is a big issue with Jupiter natives; few people can match their pace and its vvv easy for them to feel "too much" for others.

“I spent a lot of time being the most exciting thing in everybody else’s life. When they didn’t need me any more, they would thank me then leave. That is the trope of the manic pixie dream girl. This album is about her. Her traumas don’t exist to benefit some other person.”

People are initially excited and intrigued by the explosive energy and enthusiasm of Jupiter natives but they will tire of it quickly if they don't have the same internal space to hold it. This can be very crushing for the Jupiter natives who feel used. Everybody loves a one week vacation in Hawaii but nobody wants to stay in Hawaii forever, they really want to get back to their boring desk job because that gives them a sense of stability and normalcy.

As for being a “bitch,” Halsey doesn’t actually think she is one, although she knows that it can seem that way when she’s been on a manic spree for a week, made everyone around fall in love with her, and then shut them out with little more than a check-you-later as soon as she came crashing down. She can be demanding. She writes her own music. She does her own makeup. She helps design her own costumes, merchandise and album covers. She micromanages. No one can book a flight until she approves it. She will not be “handled."

The hot & cold nature of Jupiter aka "their duality" is what makes them so interesting to others, to the public etc but its also what makes them so polarising because we're all trained to think of things as this or that, therefore their kind of contradictory nature is confusing, alluring and yes, maddening.

Many famous party animals have prominent Jupiter placements but they usually clean up at some point.

Prince William has Rahu in Punarvasu and Kate is Punarvasu Moon; the Moon conjunct Rahu synastry in PUNARVASU makes their relationship a very "theyre doing things you havent even heard of" type one. Kate's party girl era is very well documented.

Ranveer Singh- Punarvasu Sun

In Indian media, Ranveer is quite a character, the man is always acting like he's on a cocktail of several substances and is known for her hyper manic media persona. He's known for being a party animal.

Drew Barrymore is a Punarvasu Moon

She was known for being a wild child in the 90s.

Cameron Diaz is Punarvasu Rising & Drew is Punarvasu Moon

The Weeknd- Vishaka Moon, Punarvasu Rising

Literally all he does is sing about the crushing highs and lows of the party, sex and drugs lifestyle he lives. Take any of his songs, he describes the emptiness of Jupiter better than anybody else.

These are lyrics from his song Gasoline:

"It's five AM, my time again

I've soakin' up the moon, can't sleep

It's five AM, my time again

I'm calling and you know it's me

I'm pushing myself further

I'm just tryna feel my heartbeat beat (beat)

I wrap my hands around your neck

You love it when I always squeeze

It's five AM, I'm high again

And you can see that I'm in pain

I've fallen into emptiness

I want you 'cause we're both insane

I'm staring into the abyss

I'm looking at myself again

I'm dozing off to R.E.M.

I'm trying not to lose my faith

And I love it when you watch me sleep

You spin me 'round so I can breathe

It's only safe for you and me

I know you won't let me OD

And if I finally die in peace

Just wrap my body in these sheets

And pour out the gasoline

It don't mean much to me

It's five AM, I'm nihilist

I know there's nothing after this (after this)

Obsessing over aftermaths

Apocalypse and hopelessness (hopelessness)

The only thing I understand

Is zero sum of tenderness (tenderness)

Oh, baby, please just hold me close

Make me believe there's more to live

Around, around, around, around we go

In this game called life, we are not free"

Scarlett Johansson- Vishaka stellium

She's talked about being a party girl and how much she enjoys clubbing.

Miley Cyrus- Vishaka Moon & Mercury, Mars in Punarvasu

Miley's wild stoner years are well documented and I think her mania during those years post-Liam are reflective of how devastating it is for Jupiter natives to feel abandoned by someone because they can't "handle" you anymore. There's a reason why she was so out of control in that era.

Lana Del Rey- Vishaka Stellium (inc her Rising)

she may be a Cancer Sun who makes melancholy music but the devastation and emptiness and trippiness comes from that Vishaka energy

choice lyrics include:

“And you try to see the bright side when each new day begins But you're not satisfied at the rainbows end”

“You're scared to win, scared to lose I've heard the war was over if you really choose; The one in and around you”

“it’s nice to love and be loved but id rather know what god knows”

“Happiness is a butterfly. Try to catch it like every night. It escapes from my hands into moonlight”.

Leonardo Dicaprio- Vishaka Sun & Venus

this man has been yachting for decades now, i have nothing to add, he's typical of Jupiter's boundless energy gone wrong.

Jennie, Vishaka Moon

in recent years, Jennie's party habits have become mainstay media news.

Katy Perry- Vishaka Moon, Rising and Saturn

Lets just say she knows a thing or two about partying

Asap Rocky- Punarvasu Moon

my king who sings/raps of being faded in every song<3 the loneliness/emptiness of the high life is Jupiter culture af

I will update this post and add more to it but I wanted to publish it rn as it is. Here's some of my thoughts on Jupiter's nature and I hope you find it interesting

xoxo

#jupiter #vedic astrology #astrology notes #vedic astro notes #astro observations #astrology #astroblr #vishaka #punarvasu

[yenqa]

APPLE CIDER!

thank u @soov for helping me pick the banner!

sypnosis : you haven’t experienced much love in your life. well reciprocated romantic love, your first “boyfriend”, was only with you because a bet. until you unexpectedly meet jay, a frat boy whose known for breaking hearts. you’d be a fool to give him a chance right? too bad you both like apple cider.

or

when a heartbroken girl meets a heart breaker and they bond over apple cider.

featuring : enhypen, chaewon of lsfm, eunbi, one member of txt (EL OH EL THERES LIKE NO ONE)

warnings : literally the most cliche story ever, swearing, underage drinking, food, parties, crying, kissing (not in detail), being drunk (not reader), crying, angsty, reader hates parties, mentions of hooking up/sex, mentions of weed, reader has bad habits, blood, i think thats it?

wc : 7.9k (only 900 words over the expected amount!!)

pairing : jay x fem!reader (uses she/her)

a/n : hey guys… this fic is the most cliche shit ever and idk how it happened,,, u would think this would be like original but its not 😂 🤣. heres the playlist i listened to while making it! and everyone thank @wonieleles and @redm4ri for proof reading it !! anyways,,, enjoy!

READ PART TWO HERE!

cut glitch pls spare me

001 THE INVITATION

“c’mon y/n! i know you’re not over hyun-woo but please! one party! it’s been like a month since you broke up, and yeonjun personally invited me to this party!”

“way to put it lightly chaewon,” you’re tempted to leave and sit somewhere else. can’t she just understand you don’t want to go?

“please! i’ll get you um- coffee for a week!”

you scoff at her suggestion, but after thinking about it, it does seem like a pretty good offer. i mean, it will be  just one party right?

“when’s the party ?” you ask, almost persuaded.

“it’s this friday, i can pick you up, and we can get there at nine. the party starts at like eight, but everyone goes at nine.” she pauses for a moment before continuing.

“if you’re uncomfortable, we can leave right away! plus, your beloved chaewon would be right next to you the whole time! isn’t that tempting?” she elbows you softly, and you give her a disgusted look before changing back to your normal one.

“fine. but! you have to let me borrow a dress because i don’t really have any party dresses.”

“you have that one green one! that’s like a v-neck!” chaewon shapes the dress out with her hands, trying to prove her point.

“it’s too big,” you point out, taking a bite out of your forgotten lunch.

“okay fine… i’ll pick you up at seven, and we can get ready and stuff at my house! i’m not lending you any makeup though.” she picks back up her fork, stuffing her mouth with food.

“fine with me.” you shrug, taking a sip of water.

chaewon’s voice suddenly goes quiet, “y/n, you know those really popular guys? well one of them is looking at you!” she whisper-shouts, trying her best to hide her expression.

“so? you’re popular too, maybe he’s staring at you.” you brush it off, why would it even matter anyways?

“no y/n- that’s jay park. he’s like- he has some major beef with hyun-woo.”

“and what does that have to do with me?”

“jay is a heartbreaker, maybe you’re his next subject to get hyun-woo mad or some shit because i know sunghoon told him about you two.”

“so? hyun-woo didn’t even like me, nothing bad will happen,” you reassure her, patting her shoulder. okay, but who the hell is sunghoon? you wonder.

“whatever you say. but stay away from him okay?” she looks at you seriously.

“okay but what does he even look like-?” you whip your head around to see a group of guys laughing. one shamelessly staring at you. he smirks at you, a wink coming soon after. you look at him in disgust, turning around.

“why did you look y/n!” chaewon whisper-shouts again.

“what? i was curious. how am i supposed to stay away from him if i don’t know who he is?” you put your hands up in defense.

“okay fine…” she groans.

“you’re still going to the party right?”

“yeah sure, whatever.”

002 FIRST MEETING

you enter your last period of the day, which also happens to be your least favorite, math. you never really understood why it was necessary in the real world, when would you need to figure out what the integral of a function is? but it’s not like you want to retake math in your senior year. so you get your notebook, and mechanical pencil out, clicking the end a few times before writing the date at the top of the page.

as you’re writing the date down, you can hear the repeated taps on your shoulder from the person behind you, so you turn around to face eunbi.

“hey, are you going to yeonjun’s party?” eunbi asked curiously.

you don’t know why she asked considering you two weren’t the closest of friends, and honestly, you thought she trusted people too easily, which included you. but it wouldn’t hurt to answer right?

“yeah i’m going with chaewon, are you?”

“yeah, me and hyun-woo will be there,” she says almost teasingly. eunbi gives you a genuine smile like she had no clue that you and hyun-woo ever dated. but in reality, she didn’t.

you and hyun-woo kept it on the low, so no one really knew about you two unless they saw you on dates. maybe he did that so he could cheat on you at parties you didn’t go to without anyone knowing. but you tried not to think about him anymore. it’s not like he’s going to beg on his knees for you  to take him  back.

“oh, well i think class is starting soon, but i’ll make sure to say hi at the party.” you notice how your voice almost deflates after she mentioned him. and eunbi almost notices it too. until her train of thought is broken when your math teacher, mrs. lim, walks in.

one thing you had forgotten was that jay was in your math class. he seems to be having the time of his life on his phone, and sometimes during that period, it’s obvious that mrs. lim catches him, clearly typing away under his desk, but she never seems to point it out. 

you never seemed to be mrs. lim favorite. but you definitely weren’t her least favorite. you participated sometimes, usually getting the answers right, and you never really talked or interrupted anything in that class. it was obvious to you at least, that jay was mrs. lim’s favorite. he never got detention for being late, didn’t even have his laptop charged a majority of the time, and he never seemed to look at the board. any of this would’ve easily gotten you detention with an email to your parents, but unless mrs. lim had been doing this on the down low (which she never does), then it’s obvious she favors him over the rest.

mrs. lim had this annoying thing where she would write three questions on the board, and would draw sticks with each person's name on it to see who would answer the question. and to your luck, you were the second person to be called.

you step up to the whiteboard, trying to solve the equation as efficiently as possible so you could quickly sit back down. she calls out the next person's name to which you didn’t really care, it’s not like it would change anything. well until you saw a familiar sharp jawline, standing right next to you. whatever side fate was on, it wasn’t on yours because just as you had suspected, he had no idea what to write.

“y/n right?” he whispers closely to your ear, making you scoot away, “can you help me solve this?”

“no i can’t” you smile sarcastically, “maybe if you’d pay attention you would know.” you finish writing the answer as you place the cap back onto the marker, walking back to your seat. he smirks at your interaction, writing his solution on the whiteboard. okay, so he did know how to solve the equation? he just asked me for fun i guess. you internally groan, realizing that chaewon was right, you truly were jay’s new target.

003 THE PARTY 

friday rolled around more quickly than you would like. you told your parents previously that you were going to sleep over at chaewon’s house, and luckily they allowed it. so, you grabbed your makeup bag and everything you needed to stay the night, (including some medicine in case chaewon got a hangover). you wave goodbye to your parents when you see chaewon’s car parked outside your house. as you head to her house, you start to regret even agreeing to her deal. was a week’s worth of coffee really worth going to some stupid fuck-boys party? it was already too late when you started to put on your makeup, deciding to have some slightly brighter eyeshadow than your usual going-out look.

“no one will notice my eyeshadow, right? i feel like it’s kind of bright.” you turn to face chaewon, who’s picking an outfit out for the both of you.

she scans your eyes, stopping with an outfit in her hands.

“put more on your left eye, to balance it out.” she replies, laying out the clothes on her bed.

you touch up your eye, adding your eyeliner and some lip tint to your lips as you turn to see all the outfit options.

“ta-daa~ do you like these?” she gives you jazz hands, picking the clothes up and imagining they’re on you. in the end, you both chose the outfit with the skirt rather than the dresses. chaewon picked out her outfit, and you both left the house. luckily, chaewon’s parents were taking a vacation somewhere for a week. you two sang your hearts out, laughing at whatever joke you guys made, or every time one of your voices would crack or sing completely wrong. you thought you enjoyed the ride more than whatever the party had to offer, (which wasn’t much). 

you could hear the music booming once you entered the small neighborhood. it played softly as you entered, soon becoming much louder as chaewon parked her car. when you finally exited the car and entered the house, you felt like you could go blind from the rainbow lights moving around as you and chaewon tried to navigate your way through the dancing crowd and to the kitchen where all the drinks are. you enter the kitchen, which happens to be much less crowded than the living room.

“it’s so loud in here, why would you bring me here?” you joke, projecting your voice as she shrugs.

“whatever! but i’m going to go find yeonjun, bye! don’t take drinks from anyone!” she yells much louder than you did, walking away and trying to spot her familiar ‘friend’.

you groan, she said she wasn’t going to leave me here. you decide to get a drink, looking at each bottle to find your favorite one. soon, you turn one to see the words “sparkling apple cider”; you smile, grabbing the drink and pouring it into your own.

“not a drinker?”

you turn to see the infamous jay park next to you again. 

“not really no, someone has to drive home, and i just really like apple cider,” you take a small sip of the carbonated drink, feeling the fizzy feeling in your throat. jay pours himself some apple cider, looking up while drinking it.

“yeah, i enjoy sparkling apple cider a lot too, i don’t really like the taste of any alcoholic drinks too much, i only really take shots, unlike my friends.” he chuckles at his sentence, sneakily placing his hand on your waist, looking slightly down at you. you slightly flinch at the contact, taking another sip of the cider to cover your reddening cheeks.

you hum, acknowledging his sentence, he continues. “you look nice in that skirt, you should wear it more often.” he flashes you a wink, to which you roll your eyes.

“maybe i’ll wear them less then,” you answer, escaping from his grasp; you grab the bottle of apple cider again and pouring more for yourself. he smirks at the scene, leaving you confused.

“what’s so funny about me pouring apple cider?” you defend yourself, giving him a confused look.

“nothing, you just pour it weirdly, honey.” he flashes you a smile, pushing back his hair.

“don’t call me that, and i’m just pouring it? what’s the difference?” you ask, bewildered by what he said.

“i’ll show you, can you pour it for me?” he hands you his cup, gesturing you to give him some.

“is this a trick for me to pour your drink for you?” 

“just do it apple,” he chuckles at your accusation. you place the cup down and pick up the bottle with both hands.

“apple? why that nickname?” you ask, pouring some cider into his plastic cup.

“isn’t it obvious? you love apple cider so much so why can’t it?”

jay notices how you didn’t exactly deny his request for a nickname. apple it is, he thinks as you roll your eyes and place the bottle down, turning to face him. “what is so wrong with how i pour the drink?”

“here let me show you.” he grabs your hand, guiding it with his hands on your own, tilting both items towards each other. letting the bottle spill out into the cup.

“that way, there are fewer bubbles on the top babe,” he continues, taking yet another gulp of his apple cider.

“i-i’ll make sure to wash my hands after this.” you try to make a rude remark back at him without sounding flustered.

he feels giggly at your flustered state. wait, what is wrong with him?  he softly lifts your chin to face him, a teasing smile evident on his face.

“why so flustered apple?”

he stares at you, waiting for your answer.

“what?”

“i said,” he maintains eye contact with you, “why-”

“y/n!” you quickly push jay away from you, turning your head to see eunbi, waving at you. you wave back, smiling at her. next to her, was hyun-woo, you noticed he had been trying to keep eye contact with you, which you avoided.

“i love your skirt y/n! where’d you get it?” she checks you out, grabbing whatever clean cup was near to pour herself a drink. you give a knowing look to jay smiling at her.

“i actually have no idea,” you chuckle, “i’m wearing chaewon’s clothes because i had nothing to wear, but i can ask her for you! she might be a little busy with yeonjun though.”

she pats your shoulder, “it’s okay hun! i’ll ask her later, but it was nice talking to you! come on hyun-woo let’s go back to the dance floor.” she grabs his arm walking away. you let out a sigh of relief, forgetting jay was there.

“i told you that skirt looked good on you.” he confidently adds, putting your hair behind your ear.

“it’s different when it comes from the school's heartbreaker, you should know that with your reputation and all.” instead of being offended, he looks at you in a flirty manner.

“and what do you know about my reputation?”

“i know you’re probably toying with me right now like you’ve done with countless of girls, yet somehow you have a bunch of fangirls waiting in line for their chance,” you pick at your skin, watching as the skin turns a dark shade of red.

he’s almost stunned at your reply, sure he did have a pretty bad reputation with girls,  but since when was he that easy to read?

you acknowledge his silence, nodding in acceptance. walking away from the conversation before it could get any worse. he's tempted to follow you before he sees you walking up to chaewon, begging to go home. however, yeonjun and chaewon insist that you two would stay, as the party hasn’t even started yet. you were stubborn as always, walking outside, sitting on the edge of the sidewalk, and waiting for chaewon to leave. jay almost thanks yeonjun, for making you stay longer. this way, it would be easier for hyun-woo to spot you two together again. making jay’s job even easier.

he starts thinking of what to say, to maybe change your view of him. so he stands in the doorway, he notices how you shiver in the cold, but you ignore it, putting all your focus on stopping your finger from bleeding more.

jay gracefully takes off his jacket, walks over to you, and places it on your shoulders, you pause the round you were playing, looking at him in annoyance. you take off his jacket, placing it back in his hands.

“i don’t need your jacket, i’m fine.”

jay continues your previous conversation, handing back his jacket and firmly placing his arm around your shoulder, so you wouldn’t take it off.

“what could i do to prove i’m not trying to break your heart?” jay asks, trying his best to look saddened at what you had said earlier.

this time you’re the one left stunned, however, you quickly pick yourself back up, “by leaving me alone,” you answer, continuing the game you had just paused.

he chuckles at your response, leaning towards you, “you know i can’t do that apple.” he flirtatiously replies. you for the nth time that day, roll your eyes at him. you scoot away from him, coming up with a bright idea.

“then can you take me to chaewon’s house then? i am so sick of this party.” jay smirks at your reply. 

“are you sure i’m the one who wants to hook up with you so bad?” he gets up, grabbing his key, “but yeah, i’ll drive you to her house.” 

you smile at him, texting chaewon that somebody offered to take you home and that she’d have fun. Then jay leads you to his car, making some small talk on the way. he opens your door for you, letting you in. “wow, what a gentleman.” you sarcastically say, stepping into the car. he just smiles.

 “just trying to prove that i’m not trying to break your heart.”

in his car, he luckily had a bandage, which you gladly accepted. 

while he was driving, jay almost felt bad he was playing you. i mean you had just broken up with hyun-woo weeks ago, or was it months ago? whatever, it’s not like i care. he thought as he stopped at the red light. he looked over at you, smiling while watching whatever was outside the window. he turned back to the road, ignoring the sinking feeling in his stomach as he listened to your directions. 

“oh! take a left at the next light.”

he nods, and the lights turn green. his car blends in with the crowd by keeping up with the pace. jay places his right hand on your thigh. he notices how your legs tense at the feeling, slowly relaxing.

jay usually never made the first moves, usually, the girl made the first moves and he played along with it.  he didn’t seem to realize why he was so consistent with you. usually, if the girl left,  or played hard to get, he gave up on her. for the reason that he could always find another girl.  this is to get back at hyun-woo. he thought. but did hyun-woo really deserve this? jay definitely thought he did.

he remembered how distraught he was when hyun-woo was chosen by the coach to be captain of the rugby team. not that he was a bad player or he was a sore loser, but jay thought that hyun-woo was such a stuck-up, which was probably why he was chosen to be captain. the whole team truly believed jay would get the role. he always knew how to pull the team together and get them to play their best. hyun-woo however, always seemed to bring the mood down. after hyun-woo started to continuously mock jay for not getting captain, he knew that his time with that team was over. so he left. even now, a majority of the team still talks to jay, the few who he was close to, told him that hyun-woo was always talking shit about him.

he didn’t care at first. it’s not like it’ll do anything to my reputation. he assured himself, continuing to ignore every time he was told hyun-woo said that stuff. but when sunoo told him hyun-woo felt guilty for breaking your heart and how he only dated you because of a bet. jay knew he had to take the opportunity and seize the girl. he didn’t think this would backfire on him feeling guilt. but here he was, driving you home from a party he desperately wanted to stay at.

you remember suddenly why you were so warm inside and outside the car, you quickly take his jacket off placing it in the middle of your seat.

“you can return it to me on monday, just in case you get cold over the weekend” he sends you a flirty smile, quickly turning back to the road.

“are you sure? i mean it looks pretty expensive, and it seems special since it had your initials on it.” you flip the jacket around, showcasing to him the large letters spelling P.J. 

“yeah, i’m sure.” 

“and if you’re fangirls see me with your jacket, they’ll go crazy and think we’re dating! i don’t want that, so please take it.” you almost beg, holding the jacket near his shoulder.

“why would they think we’re dating?”

“oh, i don’t know. maybe it’s because your initials are on the back of it? and you’re in the rugby team and it says decelis rugby team under it?” you sarcastically answer.

“well i’m not on the team anymore, but also it could stand for peanut butter and jelly for all they know. so who cares?” he chuckles at his own joke, as you look at him in disgust.

you wonder if hyun-woo would care, hopefully, he did. hyun-woo had always been a jealous man. well, he might’ve been faking it for all you know, he was faking it the whole relationship, why would that be different? you quickly pull yourself together, responding to jay’s joke. “very funny. take a right at the light then turn left on the first turn.” you almost forget your job, quickly directing him the right way and placing the jacket on your lap.

he nods, moving through the road until you spot chaewon’s familiar brown house. you point at it, “that’s hers,” you say, as he pulls into the driveway. 

you exit the car and wave goodbye as he drives away. you look at your hand and realize, shit, you’re holding his jacket. you must’ve picked it up when getting out of the car. damn it! now you have to deal with jay, one more time.

004 TEARS

when you had gotten onto chaewon’s bed after washing up, you couldn’t but feel saddened by the deja vu you were experiencing.

every second you were talking to him, you were reminded of hyun-woo.

his flirty words, his smirk, his infamous charming smile, his party boy persona. all lead you back to hyun-woo.

all jay did was remind you of hyun-woo.

you don’t even know when you had fallen so deeply for hyun-woo. maybe it was because he noticed things nobody else did. maybe it was because of his stupid smile. his stupid smile that made you fall in love.

when you got to the party you two were meeting at and he drunkenly admitted to the bet he had made, you knew you should’ve listened to what everyone had said, to what chaewon said. chaewon was always right. and you should’ve known that.

so with tears slowly trickling down your face, you opened his contact. looking through old text messages since you didn’t dare to text him. you ignored the ones where you were arguing since they weren’t the most comforting. but the more you read, the more blurry your eyes got.

deciding it was time for you to go to sleep, you roll over plugging in your phone charger and staring at the ceiling of chaewon’s room.

005 CONFRONTATION

the monday of, you believed the math gods were testing you every day. who decided to make you take calculus and then put jay park in my class? if you could ask your homeroom teacher to change your schedule, you would do it in a heartbeat, if he wasn’t creepy.  but that's beside the point, whatever curse was placed on you, it was working.

you sit down in your usual seat. doing your usual routine as eunbi sits behind you. you turn around, feeling bad she always started the conversations. 

“hi eunbi! did you have fun at the party?” you ask, knowing she probably loved it much more than you.

“yeah i did!” she leans towards you, quieting down  “you know the guy i was with? hyun-woo?” you nod, praying that they didn’t do much together. “i  made out with him.” she giggles at her sentence, as your face falls, quickly changing it to a smile, “congrats girl!” you clap a little bit for her, “i thought you were already dating, to be honest.” you didn’t think that, but it wouldn’t hurt to be nice sometimes.

“i wish, i have such a huge crush on him. what about you? do you have a crush on anyone? i won’t tell anyone i promise!” she pulls out her pinky, you don’t bring yours, as you don’t have a secret to tell. you glance at jay walking in, and eunbi’s eyes follow yours.

“you have a crush on jay park?” she whispers shouts, looking at you in disbelief.

“no!” you quickly exclaim, earning the stares of classmates around you, you apologize, quickly immersing yourself back into the conversation.

“i literally don’t even like him-”

“who don’t you like apple?” of course, jay joins your conversations, moving the seat next to you to sit down. you glare at him, “why are you even here? go sit at your seat.” you signal him to move away, to which he doesn’t listen. “well you have my jacket don’t you,  princess?” eunbi watches the scene in shock as you pull out his jacket from your bag, handing it to him. “don’t call me that, i barely even know you,” you add, zipping up your bag.

“it won’t be like that for long, i'm sure,” he replies, moving the chair back as he sits in his assigned seat. eunbi, still in shock from the scene, hits you on the shoulder.

“what was that y/n?” she covers her mouth with her hand, laying her other hand on your shoulder. you hear the bell ring, meaning your conversation is over, “i’ll tell you later,” you whisper to her, turning to face the front.

when you told eunbi you would be telling her later, you didn’t mean her and chaewon. chaewon was waiting for you outside your class like always, when eunbi asked what happened between you and jay as you passed by the doorway she knew she had to join in.

“wait so jay did what?” chaewon asks, almost disappointed.

“while you were busy dancing your ass off with yeonjun, i was talking to jay in the kitchen and he kept flirting with me so i told him i knew he was playing with me and left. then i went to you and ya know, asked to go home. you declined so i went outside and sat on the sidewalk. he followed me outside and was like what can i do to prove i’m not playing you,” eunbi snickers at your imitation of him, as chaewon nods, letting you keep talking. 

“and i guess he noticed i was cold so he gave me his jacket. anyways, i was like leave me alone and he was like no! so i was like okay can you drive me to your house?” you point to chaewon, so they know whose house it was. “and he did, and i tried to return the jacket and he was like no keep it and i was like no! but i accidentally brought it out of the car so i returned it to him today.” you finally finish, taking a deep breath.

“also chaewon you forgot my coffee today.” 

“y/n, i told you to stay away from him! not ask him to drive you home!” chaewon disappointedly mentions, as you roll your eyes.

“that wouldn't've happened if you drove me home!” you counter, as eunbi watches the scene unfold.

“hey why don’t you give jay a chance? he might’ve changed his ways.” eunbi suggests, shrugging at your little argument.

“eunbi, we’re talking about jay park here. he wouldn't randomly just change his ways because of one girl.” you mention, reminding yourself of hyun-woo.

“you never know! maybe he will!” eunbi argues.

“yeah right, eunbi” you almost scoff.

006 ONE CHANCE

when you finally lie down after getting home, you feel a little vibration coming from your phone. you look at the notification, thinking it was a text from chaewon or eunbi, you open it.

unknown

hi apple, this is jay. are you free this saturday?

read 3:24pm

you

how’d you get my number?

jay

i have my ways 😉

are you free?

you

i am,,, i think, why?

jay

because i want to take you out

you

no

jay

we can go to the drive in, watch the movie yk

you

what movie?

jay

spirited away

you

no

jay

cmon it’s just one date

you

whatever

jay

i’ll pick you up at 7 apple ;)

read 3:32

the fact you knew you were going on that date almost infuriated you. it’s like you were begging for another hyun-woo situation. you didn’t want to say this was different, but something about it was. you had heard that jay doesn’t make first moves, so why was he so keen on you? what was so different about you that he wanted?

you couldn’t think of anything, nothing really made you special from anyone else, and you were fine with that. 

but maybe, you could give jay a chance, just one.

007 THE DATE

the week felt much quicker knowing your date was on saturday, not like that was a good thing. you weren’t sure how you felt about the ‘giving jay a chance’ thing, but if this date goes well, hopefully, you wouldn’t be as opposed to it as you are now.

you looked in the mirror, deciding on your outfit. which took a lot longer than necessary. after about ten minutes, you chose your outfit, sprayed on some perfume, and packed things in your purse. the familiar sound of your phone vibrating filled the room, as you checked your messages, seeing that jay was outside your house. you rushed to the front door, carefully putting on your shoes and locking the door. in your driveway, you spot jay inside his familiar black car. you stepped inside, placing your bag on your lap.

“hi apple,” he smiles at you, backing out of the driveway, “you look nice,” he says, looking through the back window.

“thank you.” you return his smile, picking at the skin on your fingernails. he quickly notices, grabbing your hands and encasing it in his.

your face turns warm, as jay keeps his eyes on the road. “stop picking at your hands, i don’t have enough bandages for you.”

you side-eye him, turning to the window, watching each tree and car as they pass by. “have you watched spirited away before?” you ask, keeping your head facing the window,

he brushes your hand with his thumb, “i have when i was younger, i haven’t watched it for a while though.” he replies, turning the steering wheel to the left.

“i’m so excited to watch it!” you squeal, letting your excitement out. he chuckles, slightly turning down the music he played.

he turns into an open field, with a huge screen at the end of it, he continues to drive forward to find a spot and parks as carefully as he can, to help others park near him too.

he glances at you, then your lips only for a second, and looks back to your eyes. he leans forward as you stay frozen. was he trying to kiss you? right now? you want to move but you can’t. almost like your waist is frozen as you look at him with wide eyes.

he quickly grabs a bag behind your seat, looking in the bag with his infamous smirk. you try to ignore that trick, looking in the bag which is filled with snacks.  you look up at him, asking for permission to take one, he nods, a smirk turning into a smile as you look through the (many) options he brought. noticing he brought your favorite, you take it, open it, and pop one into your mouth. 

“thank you,” you say, taking another one.

he opens his bag, looking at you “you’re welcome, the cashier thought i was buying snacks for a party.”

“well, you didn’t have to buy so many snacks! you would’ve saved money if you had just asked me what i wanted,” you argue, looking at the filled grocery bag.

“well, spending money isn’t a problem when it’s for you.”

“yeah okay,” you turn your head to the window, whatever car had driven in suddenly seeming more interesting than the conversation you guys were having. 

he almost giggles at your fake obliviousness, a toothy smile spreading on his face as he glances at the screen, looking for the countdown.

“the movie starts in under a minute, hope you aren’t looking to your side the whole time.”

“why would i be looking at you?” you scoff, shuffling around to comfortably sit as a yawn comes out of you.

“that’s not what i meant,” he teasingly adds, placing his arm back onto your thigh, leaning towards you.

“okay then what did you-” you quickly get interrupted when the countdown on the screen ends, starting the movie (idk how drive in theaters work). “nevermind,” you give in, leaning your arm on the side of the car as you prop your hand up to keep your head up. around halfway into the movie, your drowsiness slowly takes hold of you putting you to sleep.

008 DROWSINESS

you didn’t think you were that tired once you got there to the drive-in, but something about jay must’ve put you to sleep like a baby because why had you woken up in front of your house, on jay’s shoulder?

“when did we get here?” you mumble, sitting up and stretching your arms.

his eyes soften at your slightly messed up hair, barely being able to keep yourself awake.

“i just parked, you missed the whole movie,” he replies, turning towards you.

“what!” you exclaim, “but i was so excited to watch spirited away!” you complain, a pout forming on your face.

“so excited to watch the movie you fell asleep yeah?”

“shut up, i was tired!” you argue, grabbing your purse and opening the door to leave, “thank you for taking me, i had fun.” you blurt out, a red tint appearing on your face.

“i did too,” he smiles warmly at you, waving goodbye as you close the door and enter your house.

009 JAY’S DILEMMA

jay wasn’t usually one to fall in love he wasn’t one at all. every girlfriend he had, every situationship he had. never even came close to what falling in love was. jay wasn’t one to worry too much about a lot of things. but one thing he did care a lot about was his reputation. if he wasn’t able to make you fall in love with him. then he would be claimed as a homewrecker even if he didn’t even like you. but that’s not the point jay was trying to make.

the point was he could never get you out of his head. whether it would be a math question he was having trouble solving or even some of sunghoon’s arrogant comments, everything reminded him of you. jay never had this problem before. he never really cared about his old relationships, until you came in. messing up jay’s whole heartbreaker persona, with only him knowing.

jay still didn’t know what he felt for you on the drive home after dropping you off.

jay still didn’t know what he felt for you when he was laying in bed thinking at ungodly hours.

jay still didn’t know what he felt for you when you waved at him the monday after your date, which he waved back.

jay still didn’t know what he felt for you when he walked into your shared math class, watching you excitedly talk to eunbi about whatever.

he had embarrassed himself during the period because he was too busy with the thought of dating you, would he like that? would he like you to kiss him on the cheek or maybe on the lips? jay thought his answer was no.

but deep down, he knew it was yes.

but he would never admit that at least not to you.

010 LOVE

by now, jay had taken you on several dates throughout december to january. whether it would be studying, ice cream dates, or even museum dates. whatever date idea there was, he probably had done it. but one date he was saving for the big question, was a walk. late at night, with the moon shining brightly above the both of you, and only you two.

you two had already decided to meet at the closest park to your house. which he said was fine since it was the closest to his. he parked his car in a hidden spot, and walked to the swings, sitting down and rocking his legs slightly.

when he saw you excitedly walking towards him, he smiled.

this time, jay knew what he felt for you.

he didn’t have a simple crush or attraction towards you.

love is what he felt towards you.

love.

this wasn’t supposed to happen, but deep down, he knew all along.

love is what he felt when you walked side by side, talking about whatever came to mind.

love is what he felt when you stopped to take a picture of the moon, as he stopped to secretly take a photo of you.

love is what he felt when he asked you to be his girlfriend, to which you had said yes.

love is what he felt when you cuddled into his arm when you were cold.

love is what he felt when you stopped to tie his shoe.

jay’s night was filled with love. and so was yours. 

jay hoped it would be like that forever.

011 BUS STATION

it had been two months since he asked you out. and since then he was always asking you to go to parties with him. this time, he asked for you to go to jungwon’s birthday party the following saturday (which was tomorrow).

 you hesitate as always, declining to go, opting for a cuddle session in your room.

“apple, please! just for one of my closest friends!” he sulks, as he walks you to the bus stop you share.

he knows you can’t say no to him. which he always uses to his benefit.

“they’ll be some sparkling apple cider there, i know you don’t get to drink that a lot.” he confidently raises his eyebrows, trying to get something out of you.

you look back at him, putting on your pretend thinking face, “hmmm, maybe, i’ll think about it.”

he gives you a quick peck on the lips, to which your hands suddenly become jittery. “fine.” you mumble, looking away. he giggles, wrapping his arm around your waist, keeping you close as you continue to walk towards the bus station.

when you finally got there you quickly ran to the convenience store right next to the stop with jay. buying snacks as quickly as you could before running back out, not wanting to miss the bus.

that was a routine you two always had, and never had you missing the bus. you two proudly ate your snacks as the bus started to move. another routine you two had was jay giving you one of his airpods, to which you accepted listening to the cheesy love songs he enjoyed. 

when you had gotten to your stop you two had both gotten up, hands intertwined as you exited the bus, turning the way to your neighborhood. you had stopped in place when you noticed apple cider by beabadoobee was playing. 

“this doesn’t sound like the kind of songs you listen to. how do you know about beabadoobee?” you ask curiously.

“i don’t,” he answers honestly, before continuing, “i was looking at your playlist and i saw this song. and since it was called apple cider i decided to play it since you know, apple cider is kind of your thing.”

your smile grows, as you look at him with soft eyes, “then i decided to look at the lyrics, and it reminded me of us.” 

if you weren’t blushing before, you were a flaming tomato now, butterflies erupted in your stomach as you try to keep your cool and keep walking, to which he noticed (but he didn’t say anything.)

when you had finally made it yourself you had given him a quick kiss goodbye, as he drove off to his house.

later you decided to facetime him to pick an outfit for you. which he did and stayed on call until hours on end. the call ended when you fell asleep, and jay hung up, letting himself get some sleep too.

012 APPLE CIDER

when you two arrived at the party it seemed much more sweaty than you had expected, the smell of weed and alcohol filled the air as you navigated your way to wish the birthday boy a happy birthday,

jay had finally spotted him in the living room, squeezing your hand and walking towards him.

“happy birthday jungwon!” you exclaim, projecting your voice over the speakers.

jay gives jungwon a side hug wishing him a happy birthday too.

“thank you for coming!” he points to a hallway, “drinks are over there, and jay, do you wanna play beer pong? losers have to take a shot after each round.” he grins at him, as jay looks at you for approval. you nod, as he smiles back at you. jay turns back to jungwon with a smile on his face.

“yeah for sure! uh let me get a drink first with y/n,” he tells jungwon, jungwon nods sending you two off to the kitchen.

when you walk into the kitchen you both grab a cup, you fill yours with sparkling apple cider as always, filling jay’s cup too.

“guess you listened to my pouring advice didn’t you?” he asks as you hand him his drink.

“i listen to all your advice.”

“but that was before we started dating,” he adds, you roll your eyes, handing him his drink and heading back to the living room to watch them play.

 the teams were revealed as jay and jungwon teamed up versus heeseung and sunoo, you weren’t paying attention to any other games.

heeseung and sunoo had lost miserably, taking 5/5 shots. which was definitely too much alcohol for sunoo’s system.

sunoo seemed to be blabbering nonsense, as you and jay tried to bring him up to jungwon’s bedroom, where he could get some rest.

“ya know what jay once saidd,'' his voice came out slurred, as he stumbled after each step he took. jay looks at him confused.

“what did jay say?” you asked amused, hoping you would get some kind of blackmail against him. 

“he saidd that he waz going to make you fall in love with him-” he trips with jay barely catching him.

“so he could get back on hyun-woo,”

“what?” you ask, looking at jay’s face worriedly.

sunoo’s drunk, you assure yourself. not capable of thinking straight at all.

“come on, let’s get you to bed,” jay responds, opening the door to jungwon’s room and laying him down on the bed.

don’t do this to me jay, not again. you worry, exiting the room and letting him fall asleep. jay looks at you anxious about what to say.

silence fills the hallway. you try to analyze his face to see some sort of innocence in his expression.

he didn’t seem to start talking, so you did, “was what sunoo said true? was i just your girlfriend so you could get back at hyun-woo and that stupid grudge you had against him?” your fingers automatically start picking near the nail bed.

he sighs in defeat, “look, yes you were but let me explain-”

“no! you don’t get to explain because you’ve been playing me for two months! two fucking months i could’ve spent with someone who actually loved me.” you argue, as he looks at you with guilt.

“i do love you apple! i swear-”

“if you loved me why didn’t you tell me earlier? I'm sure we would’ve resolved it by now instead of keeping it from me and letting me run along all oblivious to your plan.” you scoff, trying to head back downstairs.

the wound on your finger just seems to grow with each step you take, the red liquid slowly covering the new injury.

“apple please let me explain-”

you face him again, “did you not feel any guilt keeping this from me? every date we went on, every kiss we shared, was that all because of a stupid revenge plan? were you faking it throughout this whole relationship?” your lips quiver, as you prayed and prayed he would say the right thing.

but for some reason, he's frozen. like his world has stopped and so has he. 

he knows he loves you and he knows he wasn’t faking it. so why was he blanking now?

you nod, wiping your tears away, wincing at the soreness of your picked finger as you leave that cursed hallway, heading to the stairwell.

“i don’t even get a goodbye?” was he serious right now?

you turn around, “jay, i was just told you dated me to get back on hyun-woo, do you think you deserve fucking goodbye?” you scoff, “honestly, i don’t even know why i gave you a chance,” and with that, you walked down the stairs, your legs slumping after each step.

you should have known, was all you could think. you should have known at the first party when he was shamelessly flirting with you. you should’ve learned that when you cried because he reminded you of hyun-woo. you should’ve known when he confidently asked you on that date. you should’ve known because chaewon warned you.

you should’ve known because it was all the same.

the flirting, the dates, the guy, and the breakup.

you grab your forgotten drink, throwing it in the trash, as you ask eunbi to drive you home.

eunbi had always been by your side. and you were always by hers. you two got so close that when you told her about hyun-woo, she immediately blocked him, and continued supporting you for which you were ever so grateful. 

eunbi hurriedly rushes you to her car after seeing your messed up mascara, helping you get in.

“what happened?” eunbi asks once you're both settled, handing you tissues from the glove compartment and rubbing your shoulder.

“he dated me because he had a grudge against hyun-woo.” 

“he what?” she exclaims, mouth hanging open.

i know,” you sniffle, trying to wipe away the tears coming down.

“i’m so sorry honey,” she mutters. 

you don’t even want to hear any nicknames again, you don’t want to hear any “sorrys”. all you wanted was to be home.

why was it always you? why did you always have to be played? what was so bad about you that people just needed to break your heart?  maybe jay would know, or hyun-woo.

“isn’t it crazy?” you laugh through your blocked nose, “is what crazy?” eunbi asks.

“this all started because i chose some dumb apple cider as a drink.”

taglist : @bookishcalls @jwonsociety @byhees @trsrina @quokkas-leebit @captivq @felixsunshine28 @lojocas @yeniiverse @starikizs @hanniluvi @misojunghwan

sorry if i missed yours!

yenqa © please do not copy, steal or translate.

#apple cider 🍎•*! #yenqa’s works! #jay x you #jay x reader #jay au #jay drabbles #jay fics #jay smau #jay angst #jay fluff #jay fic #jay scenarios #jay imagines #enhypen x y/n #enhypen x you #enhypen x reader #enhypen fics #enhypen fic #enhypen scenarios #enhypen reactions #enhypen drabbles #enhypen smau #enhypen angst #enhypen fluff #heeseung x reader #jungwon x reader #niki x reader #sunghoon x reader #jake x reader #sunoo x reader

[brrrkdslek]

WOOYOUNGIE MISSED YOU!><

❒ jwy x male! reader

❒ porn w plot (idk)

❒ you come back to korea after a few long months of filming your new movie. your darling wooyoung fills you in on everything you missed, and how much he missed you.

❒ raw sex, dry humping, creampie

❒ first smutfic!!

❒ 1.7k

wooyoung bounced in his seat excitedly as he waited for you in the airport. you were coming back from china after shooting a drama for five months. could you believe it? five months without you by wooyoung's side.

since you were coming back today, wooyoung decided to pick you up from the airport while the others prepared your party back at the dorms.

he looked around the crowd of people as they leave the airport, searching for you. he turned his head in all the directions but never seeming to find you.

suddenly, a pair of arms wrap around his waist. "looking for me?" wooyoung swore he almost let out a moan by how you whispered in his ear.

he turned around and hugged you tightly, "hyungggg! i missed you so much... you were gone for way too long!" wooyoung whined and complained about how much you missed out when you were gone.

as you two got in the backseat, the driver began to drive back to the dorms.

during the ride, wooyoung talked about all the fun performances, interviews and how much he wished you were there too.

you actually watched all their performances on tv to catch up on everything. you were proud to see your members do so well.

wooyoung had his legs swung across your thighs as he continued talking about their most recent performance. you smiled and watched him, his pretty eyes, adorable smile, and oh that little mole under his eye you were dying to kiss.

you and wooyoung actually share feelings for each other, but never reciprocated. since the both of you were flirty by nature, the two never made moves through the years.

you listened to wooyoung talk as you gently rubbed his legs, humming and replying every now and then. as you arrived to the dorms, wooyoung held your hand in his as he dragged you back.

"c'mon, faster! everyone's waiting!" wooyoung said excitedly. you almost guessed that they were throwing a party for your return but decided to keep it to yourself.

as you opened the door, a confetti popper popped from above you, sprinkling your hair with confetti. the members all screamed "surprise!"

everyone partied and drank until 11pm. they had gotten a bit too drunk since they had a one week break.

you had a high alcohol tolerance so you were fine. the members slowly moved back to their rooms as you went back to yours, which you share with wooyoung of course.

you rubbed your eyes and lay down as you slowly drifted to sleep before he cuddled up beside you. holding wooyoung in your arms, you drifted to sleep.

you smile as you felt your neck tickle and itch. your thigh also felt- wet? wait what, why am i wet? you crack your eyes open and immediately feel wooyoung's mouth on your neck.

"hyung, hyung, hyung!" he mumbled as he humped your thigh. he licked and kissed at your neck as he buried himself deeper into your neck.

you held his waist, stopping his movement. you leaned down near his ear, "what are you doing, wooyoungie?" he jumped and looked up at you with a red face.

he stuttered as he tried to explain himself, "uh- i was, um, i don't- uh..." you felt his cock twitch against your thigh. letting out a breathy laugh, you stroke his hair with your hand.

"did you miss me that much?" you pushed your leg into his crotch as he moaned in a high-pitch. with the hand holding his waist, you kneaded at his skin and flexed your thigh,

"aren't you gonna answer me, hm?" he looked up at you with heart-eyes and drool leaking down the corner of his mouth. "mmh, missed you s' much..." you cooed at the boy as you captured his mouth in yours.

he moaned as he pulled you in closer by wrapping his arms around your neck. he let out a high-pitched whine as you pushed your tongue into his mouth, exploring every corner.

you pulled away, a string of drool connecting at your lips. you held his jaw between your hands as you stared at him, all dumb already.

"i only made out with you and you're already fallin' apart,—" you brushed his hair back, "—maybe we shouldn't continue?"

his eyes widen as he pulled you close, "no- nono! hyung, pleasepleaseplease-! i can- i can keep going..." he said with tears in his eyes, as if he had been waiting for this his whole life. which he had.

wooyoung always yearned for you, for your touch, your love. for some reasons he was always shy when he was around you, only you. you made him all hot and bothered, and he loved every second of it.

he buried his face into the crook of your neck as he sniffled and whispered softly, "don't go..." your heart swelled at the cute boy.

"awh, 'm not going anywhere love. you know that." you cooed as you held him in your arms. you felt his hard cock press against yours, only the fabrics of your boxers and his shorts separating you.

you kiss his head as you started moving your hips. letting out a soft moan, wooyoung followed. hot, sweaty bodies stuck together as you two humped against each other.

you flip wooyoung so he laid on the bed and got on top of him, kissing him deeply. you moved to take off your his shirt, never breaking the kiss.

you got rid of his and your clothes, except for your boxers. you reached towards your drawer, pulling out a small bottle of lube and squeezing a nice amount on your fingers then his ass.

he flinched at the coldness and let out a whine. "do you wanna hold onto me?" he nods eagerly and opens his arms, almost like a baby.

you hold him in your arms as you slowly start to push one finger in, to which wooyoung moaned whorishly. you licked and bit at his ear as you pushed your finger deeper and deeper by the second.

this was so good. you were so good. wooyoung loves it, his body burned as his vision became hazy, this was dizzying, but he fucking loved it.

he moaned out as you put a second finger in, scissoring his insides. he let out a yelp and arched his back before falling back onto the bed.

"hey, hey, hey... shh, we gotta be quiet love," you curled your fingers and pumped in and out expertly. wooyoung shut his eyes as he whined, a tear slipping out from the pleasure.

you cooed at him, kissing the tear away as you put another finger in. wooyoung gripped your arms, seeing stars. his toes curled as his entire body shook, "oh- faster... please!" you did as told and pumped in faster and faster.

wooyoung wrapped his arms around your head, pulling you into his chest. you sucked and licked at him chest, biting down making him moan. "'m c-close..."

you kissed him lovingly as he came, moaning into your mouth. as you pulled your finger out, his body twitched and shook with every little touch. "so cute..." you mumbled as you brush the hair sticking to his forehead.

for a second you hesitated, "are you sure we should keep going? you look kinda- uh, how should i put this?" he laughed as he pulled you in for another kiss.

"hehe, i wanna keep going... i want you to fucking ruin me." he whispered with heart-eyes. god, you were so easy to sway as you immediately lined your cock up.

"this'll hurt, okay?" you peck his cheek, right under his mole. you held his hips steadily as you slowly pushed in. wooyoung put a hand over his mouth as he moaned, "can i?" he nodded reassuringly as you pushed in in one go. wooyoung threw his head back as you started pushing in and out at an agonising pace, he moaned and gripped the sheets, "o-okay... you can go faster."

your hip immediately snap forward, hitting his prostate. "o-oh! right there- oh my god..." you began fucking him at an inhumane speed. kissing him every now and then.

"hyunggg~ yeah, faster!" you pressed your forehead against his as you pounded him with all your might. "i-i can't believe you're actually fucking me right now..." he smiled sweetly at you.

"oh darling, i'll make you believe it." you put his legs over your shoulders, folding him in half, before fucking him again. with each thrust, the tip of your cock hitting at his prostate.

wooyoung moaned wantonly over and over, he couldn't believe this. you were actually here, fucking him. he never thought he'd get laid, and mostly not by you. he made grabby-hands at you as you leaned down, capturing his mouth in a hot make out.

he pulled away and held you close, "fuck! i'm gonna cum soon-" "me too, woo." you groaned as his walls clamped down on you, it felt so fucking good. "should i pull out-" "no!" he pulled you in,

"cum inside me! fill me up, fill me with your babies-!" he stuck his tongue out, drool dripping from his mouth as you kissed and sucked at his neck, squeezing out more moans from the boy.

"o-oh! i'm gonna cum-" just then, you squeezed his cock with your hand, "no, you'll wait until i cum too." you smirked evilly as he cried out, nails trailing down your back. "please, hyung-! let me- let me cummm!" wooyoung whined before you spoke,

"'m close, baby..." you kissed him hungrily as he clawed at your back, you smiled into the kiss, that better leave a mark. after a few more thrusts, you released your hold on his cock as you came inside him,

he followed as his came in thick white ropes across his chest. "y-you're still going!?" wooyoung's eyes widen in shock at your never ending cum. he moaned as his stomach became swollen, soon after you pulled out.

you laid back beside wooyoung as he curled up against you happily. you kissed his forehead, and pull the covers up.

"can we go again?"

©BRRRKDSLEK 2023

#brrrkdslek 📁: oneshots #hongjoong x reader #jongho x reader #mingi x reader #san x reader #seonghwa x reader #wooyoung x reader #yeosang x reader #yunho x reader #ateez fanfic #ateez x reader #ateez #ateez smut #wooyoung smut #ateez x male reader

[iluvshinytwink]

hey can you write for jude where he had loved the reader for years and everyone can see it except her. even though she loves him too but he doesn't know that since she's good at hiding and so he just thinks she doesn't love him and one day after a loss at a match he asks her if he was just not good enough for her and why she couldn't love him back all sad and stuff but she confesses she does love him

I Need U - Jude Bellingham

"Why am I so into you? Why you? Why can't I leave you? I need you, girl."

first person who guesses the song gets idk bro a compliment, hint: the lyrics used for this oneshot is all translated from the original language from the song :)

time check 10:50, high on toothpaste and in desperate need of some water

thank u for requesting, hope u enjoy this <333!!

It was exactly 2 years since Jude realized he had liked you, hell, even love you. 2 years and Jude still doesn't know why or how he fell in love with you. One day, he looked at you and felt his heart drop. One day, he looked into your eyes and found himself drowning in them. One day, he slept every night comfortably knowing that he'd wake up and be with you.

But why you?

Why was it you and not the other girls?

Why was it always you?

Why did he fall in love with you?

He found himself pondering on this question for what seemed like ages, he's searched every corner of his mind and still couldn't find an answer.

Why did his heart leap out of his chest whenever your eyes met his?

Why did he find himself staring at you?

But one question pondered in his mind the longest.

Why didn't you reciprocate his feelings?

Why wouldn't you look at him the same way he would look at you?

There was once particular memory that stuck to him, a memory that probably caused all of feelings.

It was late at night, neither of you knew it was going to happen. But it did.

The two of you sat on his couch, the loud tv playing in front of the both of you. On the table, there were two cold beers amongst the many bottles on the table. Jude held a party to celebrate his party and everyone left, except you.

The two of you laughed at the events that happened tonight. You glanced at the clock, 12:55 am, it read. "Your birthday's almost over." you commented, eyes still on the clock. Jude stops his laughter abruptly, looking at the clock. "And you still haven't given me a gift." Jude jokes, chuckling. "Do I have to?" you giggled.

Jude memory hazes, but that night something happened that he unfortunately never forgot, to this day.

Your face neared his and your eyes met his. There was a certain glimmer in his eyes that entranced you.

Jude looked into your eyes, noticing that your eyes were drooping lower out of tiredness. Was this sudden move just a work of the alcohol? Was this just another stupid trick done by beer?

Jude finds himself swallowing a lump down his throat, eyes still on yours. The drunkness in your eyes, he could tell there was a tinge of impulsiveness between them.

Suddenly, your lips connect with his. Jude's eyes widened, his heart thumping rapidly. Thoughts bombarded his mind. You kissed him because you were drunk. Nothing more. You didn't mean anything behind that kiss, and he accepted that. You wouldn't remember this the morning later, but he would.

Something deep within him wanted to believe that by doing this, you would like him back. Something deep within him wanted to believe that because you did this, you certainly liked him-- loved him too.

His lips kissed yours, his eyes closing.

He remembered how soft your lips felt against his. And he hated the fact he kept remembering it.

He hated that night. He hated that he didn't do anything but kiss you back. He hated that he didn't ask if you liked him too. He hated that he didn't push you back when you were nearing. He hated this. He hated you.

After that night, he wanted to stray away from you. He wanted an answer, and he was sick of pretending that he didn't want an answer. He hated that every time he looked at you his heart ached and ha hated the fact that he wanted to know if you felt the same.

And so he ignored you.

He didn't respond to your texts or calls for an entire week.

You grew worried. Of course you did.

You remembered waking up from Jude's brithday party on his couch, without him at sight. A blanket hovered over you and a pillow rested below your head. You remembered a pounding headache paining you. You didn't try to remember what happened the night before. your eyes squint, the table which used to be scattered with beers and glasses were gone, there sat your phone, your bag and a piece of paper with what seemed, writing on it.

Your arm reached out for the paper.

"Morning, by the time u wake up, I alr went to training. There's food in the fridge if u get hungry. There's also meds in my bathroom cabinet for ur headache. See u later. J.B"

The note read. You couldn't help but feel your cheeks redden by the small action, a bashful smile curled your lips. You reached out for your bag, carefully placing the small letter in your bag before resuming your sleep.

Jude remembers setting you to sleep. A few minutes after the kiss, you fell asleep. Jude slithered away from your sleeping body and went to get a blanket and a pillow. He remembered positioning you in the couch, hovering the blanket over your upper body.

Jude's eyes set on your peaceful face. His eyes began tearing up and he swore he felt a peace of his heart withering away. Jude quickly looked away from you.

Jude came home that day with a heavy heart, still unsure of what to really think about the night before. Jude turned on the lights in his house, finding it clean. Jude didn't think any of it before making his way to his kitchen, a note laid on his counter. Jude's eyes knitted in confusion, placing his things on a chair before taking the letter into his hands.

"Thank u for letting me stay. I cleaned ur house a bit cause it was musty. Much love :)"

The letter read. His eyes softened at the letter, a small smile appearing on his face.

But that didn't stop him from ignoring you. Later that night, he turned his phone off, trying his best to forget about you.

You grew worried.

The 7th day rolled in. Not a single-- anything from Jude. You grew worried for your friend.

You took your phone, looking at Jude's contact number. You wanted to call him, you wanted to ask what was wrong, you wanted to hear his voice again. Your finger pressed the call button and it ringed soon after.

Jude flinched at the sound of his ringtone. Jude looked over to his phone and was a bit surprised that you were calling him. Jude stared at his phone, contemplating whether to answer or not. He promised himself to ignore you until he got his thoughts straight, but his heart ached for you.

Jude's ringtone kept playing until he finally answered the phone in what seemed like minutes.

"Jude!" your voice said, your tone laced with relief. Jude's mouth opened, waiting for an answer. "Hi." Jude chirped out. "Anything wrong?" you asked. Jude bit his lips. He knew he wanted to ask you about that one night, but he was sure that you didn't even remember. Jude was silent with his thoughts. "If anything's wrong, you can tell me, you know that right?" your soft voice said from the other line. Jude felt his eyes prickle tears. "Mhm." Jude hummed, hiding the weakness behind his voice. "Jude, I'm your friend, you can tell me." you calmly said. Friend. You weren't a friend to him. He didn't look at you as a friend. He didn't want to be friends, why couldn't you see that?

"I'm just.. stressed. That's all." Jude meekly responded. "I can come over, if you'd like." you said in a whisper. Jude's first tear fell to the ground.

"Hey." Jude said.

"Yeah?" you whispered once more.

"You're a good friend." Jude quickly said before hiccupping.

Friends. That's what the both of you would always be.

Matchday. Fans were raring in the stadium and Jude could hear it clearly. Jude's mind hasn't clearly forgotten about you, this made him a bit anxious preparing for the game. He tried his best to forget about everything and just focus on what was going to happen out there.

A deep sigh escapes Jude's lips, his eyes rolling to the back of his skull. Beads of sweat fell down from his forehead. Dortmund tried fighting back, but it wasn't enough. Both teams ended in a disappointing draw. Jude tosses his shirt into his booth angrily. He was successful of keeping you from his mind during the game, but once the game was over, it was back to you.

Suddenly, Jude gets a text message. Jude looked over to his phone and found that you were texting him.

U did good !

The text message read. In his mind he didn't know if what you were saying was true or for the sake of pitying him. But either way, Jude replied.

Thanks, a bit tired tho

He replied.

I'll pick u up

Your text read. Jude feels his heart skip a beat. He could do it now. This recurring thought in his mind, he could finally let you know of it. Deep inside he knew that this might break or make his relationship with you, but it hurt. It hurt too much. He wanted to let you know what he was truly thinking of.

Jude rests his head, closing his eyes as he tried to catch his breath.

Minutes pass and footsteps start nearing the locker room.

"Jude!" you called out, Jude's eyes open instinctively.

You neared Jude who was looking down at the ground. "What's wrong?" you asked, stopping in front of him.

"Am I good enough?" Jude asked, so quiet is came off as an incoherent whisper.

Your eyebrows knitted in confusion. "You did all you can in the pitch, Jude. You were more than good enough, no one could ever defy that." you said, thinking he was referring to his performance on the pitch.

"That's not what I mean." Jude said, voice getting louder. You looked at the floor and notice a tear stained the floor.

Why couldn't you see what he was feeling?

"Jude's what's wrong?" you asked softly, growing more worried by the second. "Am I good enough for you?" Jude says, finally looking up to you, his eyes glossed with tears.

A tear falls from his puffy eyes, falling down his cheek. Your heart drops. Were you responsible for this? You couldn't respond to his question.

"Am I just a friend?" he asks, voice quivering by the minute. You shook your head, tears filling your eyes. "What am I to you?" he whispered, looking down again.

"Did that kiss really mean nothing?" he gasped out, another tear falling to the ground. Your hands shook, your mouth opened but no words dare came out.

"Tell me. Anything. So I know what to do with these feelings." Jude cried.

"I've always liked you, Jude." you finally croaked out. Jude looks up to you, eyes blinking. "I'm sorry I made you feel this way." you whimpered. "I'm sorry I hadn't told you sooner." you said, bringing your hands to your face to wipe the tears.

Suddenly, arms wrapped around you. You could hear the sobs of Jude so close to your ear. His whole body quaked under your touch as his arms pulled your closer to him.

Jude began mumbling, things that you couldn't understand under all these emotions that washed over you.

Your arms wrapped around his waist as another tear escapes your eyes.

All those unsaid feelings, all those unsaid emotions were all told.

All those tears that were shed, they didn't matter anymore.

All those unanswered questions finally got an answer.

And that answer was you.

(i didnt expect this to be so long bro but anywaysysysy thank u for requesting and an update for the season finale for are we still friends, im like.. what 40% done? yeah. SMASH THAT LIKEBUTTON AND SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE BANGERGR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#jude bellingham #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham x you #jude bellingham imagines #iluvshinytwink #imsoslaying #delulu hours exe

[prismuffin]

How would Wally West, Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, and Conner react (separately) to taking care of their drunk guy crush, him being extremely cuddling and calling them flirty petnames??

💫More details💫:

Reader is best friends with them, and they have a big crush on reader. Reader gets really drunk at a party, so they take him home.

The Reader calls them names like, "pretty boy", and "cutie". Teasing them when their face gets all red.

And to have reader go to sleep, they end up cuddling, with reader being the big spoon.

Idk how I feel abt how I wrote this but these asks are so cute! ok ok so I think that-

Wally would be so flustered. His whole face would be red as he helps you to your room. He had to call a cab for you and you’ve been flirting with him since it arrived. Calling him things like “Pretty boy,” and “Handsome,” the entire night. When he did finally get you into bed you just pulled him on top of you and held him tight. He never knew you were such a cuddle bug. The whole situation was just embarrassing but he was pretty comfortable and you are his crush so this is the opportunity of a lifetime I mean come on. Falls asleep in your arms and freaks out when you wake up. He reassures you that you guys did nothing but cuddle in case you can’t remember and almost passes out when you say “oh that’s a shame.”

Dick would flirt back until you start using petnames then he'd become almost as flustered as Wally. He'd have a huge smile on his face as he helps you back to your room. When you get all whiney about him leaving he'll let you cuddle him until you fall asleep, only he ended up falling asleep before you. Just being wrapped in your arms was enough for him to knock out pretty quickly despite his usual sleeping troubles. In the morning he's teasing you to hell and back, like you're never gonna hear the end of it. Doesn't ask you out there and then but definitely feels more confident that you reciprocate his feelings on at least some level.

Tim would be mostly trying to ignore everything you're saying. 'He's drunk, he doesn't mean it' is all that he's thinking to himself as he helps you to your room. When you both are there you will not go to bed at all, and after a while you made him cuddle with you to help you sleep because you "don't wanna sleep alone". His brain backfires on him when you start mumbling to him as you hold him, stroking his hair and calling him things like "love," and "cutie". In the morning he tries to pretend like nothing happened though the memory is cherished in his mind.

Conner would be pretty silent on the way to your room while you flirt with him the entire time. Much like Tim he sums up this random boost of confidence to you just being way too drunk. "Stop flirting with me and get some rest." You did not stop flirting nor did you rest. Agrees to lay with you to get you to sleep and somehow ends up being held by you. He's flustered for sure but he's definitely trying to hide it. He's pretty tense while cuddling and his heart is beating 1000 times faster than he's sure it should. Once you crash that's when he allows himself to indulge in your warmth. He finally lets himself cuddle into you and breathe in your scent and soon he finds himself drifting to sleep to. In the morning he's totally blaming you for the position you both wake up in but he's not moving until you do.

———

Directory

#dc universe x male reader #x male reader #male reader #dc imagine #dc x male reader #dc universe x male reader imagine #wally west x male reader #dick grayson x male reader #tim drake x male reader #conner kent x male reader #prismuffin #prisask #dc fanfiction

[notyourhetloki]

the question

Pronouns: he/him

/Captain James Hook x Reader/

A/N: It's been OVERDUE at this point... how come I've never written anything about this man before?? I love him so much he's my babygirl idk what else to say. Enjoy!

Warnings: alcohol, mention of needles, suggestive themes, PINNING Song Rec: Mr.Kitty - After Dark

—

During a celebration at the Jolly Roger, Captain James Hook decided to party a little too much and, in other words, got absolutely drunk.

And during that evening he ended up hurting himself with his hook… again. But this time he dismissed Smee and instead asked for your assistance, which was odd. You knew better than to complain, though.

You were both alone in his cabin now, Hook sat down while you gathered the medical kit and then helped him take his shirt and hook off (making you blush in the process) to reveal a small gash below his collarbone, that would need stitches.

"Please be still, Captain. This will hurt…" but he was so inebriated you doubted he would feel a thing "I'll try to be quick".

"James… you can call me James, you know." He said in a raspy low voice, sending shivers down your spine. Since you met the man, he had that effect on you… even when you tried to suppress it.

"James… please be still or else I'll stab you." You showed Hook your needle playfully, and he reciprocated with a big smile.

"Be a good boy and help me out then?" Good boy… that man would drive you insane. "Sure… I'll be a good boy." he smiled slyly

A few minutes in silence passed as you concentrated on the sutures, and the whole time you felt his eyes on you like prey. You could feel a drop of sweat down your temple, nervous at his presence.

"I want to buy you some new clothes" He nonchalantly said, his confession drawing a giggle from you. "Are my clothes not to your liking, Cap- James?"

"Don't be offended, dear. I would just like to see you in some fancier clothing. You would look good in satin, I'm sure…" You both laughed, the thought of him wanting to see you matching his fancy clothes made you blush. You decided to exploit a little bit of his drunkness and expand on the fantasy. "What about gold? Do I deserve some jewelry with that new wardrobe?"

James stayed quiet for a second, his forget-me-not eyes widening with the question. "I would love to see you draped in gold! Necklaces, earrings and rings." He made a pause to fantasize and soon admitted. "Would love to see you laying on my bed, on top of my satin sheets and surrounded by jewels." That… was a lot. If you were blushing before you were now burning, but you couldn't help but press him even more.

"So you'd like to see me on your bed with fancy clothes and gold around me?" You made a pause to look at him, and what you found were dark eyes filled with something… lustful. "No, just the jewels."

You swallowed dry as your core burned with desire. THE Captain James Hook… he wanted you. More than you could ever imagine, he fantasized about you. And you have been oblivious to it.

But he was drunk, nothing could ever happen between you two in these conditions, so you just continued to work on the stitches.

"I'm sorry I've gone too far, my love. But I must admit, I love to see you blush." James apologized with a little smile and you reassured him everything was fine. He hadn't gone too far, not yet.

"I'm all finished, now… Let me help you stand, Captain." as you both stood up, you could finally process what happened. He was in front of you, shirtless and flirty as hell. James looked so good… you couldn't believe this was happening.

"May I ask you a question, my hearty?" Your heart skipped a beat at the sweet way he referred to you as. "Of course, James." He looked right into your eyes, your legs shaking in anticipation.

"May I kiss you?" Your whole body burned, and for a moment you considered it genuinely "James…".

You caressed his face while he pulled you in with his left arm, but you blocked his lips with your fingers. "You're drunk, Captain… I want you to ask me another time. The same question."

"And what would be the answer?" He looked disappointed, but not mad in any way.

"You'd have to ask to find out…" you smiled at him, granting a big smile from him in return. "Naughty boy."

—

#hook #captain hook #captain james hook #captain hook x reader #captain hook x male reader #peter pan 2003 #headcanon #self insert #y/n #fanfiction #fanfic #fic #imagine #notyourhetloki

[kooktrash]

Heyyy! I have a Jungkook fic request but I'm new to your account so idk if you've wrote this trope before or not so I'm just gonna shoot my shot :") feel free to ignore if you don’t like it or have wrote it before.

Jk and y/n is in a relationship but Jk has a girl best friend who likes him so she keeps taking all of his time with y/n. Jk unknowingly gives that girl so much attention that y/n gets hurt and starts distancing herself. Then Jk somehow realises shit and wins y/n back. Lmao I'm so bad at explaining 😭 basically super Angsty but with happy ending :")

thanks for sending the request luvvv. also if my man ever leaves me for his girl best friend I’m lighting them both on fi— kidding. anyway. light angst.

Everyone seemed to be able to tell you were in a bad mood aside from Jungkook. Not surprising at all though since your boyfriend doesn’t pay attention to you when she’s around. Like now he’s too busy playing some drinking game with her while you sulk around on the couch scrolling through your phone.

They all say he loves you but you doubt it. And you’re kind of over second guessing if he does. Honestly, you’re not even the jealous type. He can be friends with as many girls as he wants but clearly he’s too blind to see when they have feelings for him. So he’ll pay attention to them without realizing that she’s smirking at you because she’s basically taken your boyfriend. You’re done being jealous, if he wants to only focus on her that’s fine.

You’re not going to beg. You’re not going to call them out. You’re not an angry jealous, you’re a hurt jealous because now all you think about is that he’s reciprocating her feelings and he’s over you. So you’re just not going to try anymore, especially not when you see her pull him into a hug where she wants to wrap her legs around him.

“Alright, I'm gonna head out,” Yoongi said to you as he made his rounds of goodbyes to his friends. He was dapping you up like a bro as he said goodbye but you stood up quickly, “Can you take me home?”

He gave you a strange look glancing over to where Mina dragged Jungkook into a game of King’s Cup, “What about Jungkook.”

“He’s busy,” you said with a shrug trying to ignore the look of sympathy from him. Clearly everyone could see that she liked him and that Jungkook just went along despite you being his girlfriend. It’s not like this is the first time it’s happened, clueless or not he’s ditching you for her time and time again. Yoongi gave in, nodding with his head to the door and it was probably the best thing to happen all night. You got up happily not bothering with any goodbyes and left the party.

Jungkook was tired out. Mina wanted to keep playing drinking games but he couldn’t anymore. He just wanted to sit and hold his girlfriend or dance. He looked around the party for you when his brows furrowed. He waited around a bit to see if you’d gone to the bathroom but after some time he had gotten a little anxious. He went to his closest friend, “Have you seen Y/n?”

“She left,” Taehyung said not even looking at him and instead faced Jimin. Jungkook felt his heart begin to race, “What do you mean Y/n left? When? With who?”

“Yoongi.”

Jungkook’s lips parted in disbelief, “With Yoongi? Why?”

“You’re her boyfriend, why don’t you tell us?” Jimin asked suddenly cutting in. Jungkook stared down at him in confusion, “What d—“

“Jungkook! I’ve been looking for you. They’re about to play spin the bottle, let’s go,” Mina shouted at him and he missed the way his two friends rolled their eyes. Jungkook shook his head, “I’m sort of busy right now. I’m gonna call Y/n.”

Jimin and Taehyung made a move to leave as Mina spoke up again, smirk on her face, “What happened? Doesn’t she let you have a little fun? I’m sure she’s not worried.”

Jungkook sighed, “Still, I’m gonna call her. I’ll be back.”

Jungkook dismissed himself going to find somewhere more quiet as he called you. If you wanted to leave why didn’t you just ask him? He assumed you had been having fun since you didn’t go with him at all tonight and now you’ve left? Makes no sense. He waited for the beeps to end and the line to connect but it didn’t. It ended with a voicemail and it left him even more confused, so he called again, and again he was left on voicemail.

With a huff in annoyances he dialed Yoongi’s number, who did happen to answer, “Hello?”

“Are you still with Y/n? She’s not answering my calls,” Jungkook asked feeling around his pockets for his keys. He’ll just go see you. It was quiet for a second but he could hear a faint whisper in the background before Yoongi said, “I just dropped her off.”

Jungkook didn’t believe that. He could’ve sworn he just heard you in the back, “Really? Do you know why she’s not answering my calls?”

“Nope, as her boyfriend shouldn’t you know that?” Yoongi asked and Jungkook stopped moving. “I mean, yeah but I was with Mina so I didn’t get a chance to see her and n—ohhhhhh.”

Yoongi nodded though Jungkook couldn’t see him, “Yeahhhh. I’ve gotta go, alright?”

Jungkook didn’t say anything as the phone clicked. He had his keys in his hands now when a hand went to his arm, “Are you leaving? Perfect, you can take me home.”

“Sorry I’m going to Y/n’s place,” Jungkook said with a sigh and she rolled her eyes. “You don’t sound too happy about that, plus I’m on the way. Or does she not want you friends with me?”

“What?” Jungkook asked now with confusion before he shook his head, “Y/n doesn’t care who I’m friends with. And sorry but you’re gonna have to ride with someone else, I’m gonna see her now.”

“Jun—“ he left.

Were you mad at him or something? It’s fine, he’ll just ask when he gets to your place, but he couldn’t. Not when you ignored him buzzing to be let up and when he texted and called all you said was that you were going to sleep. So he texted Goodnight saying he loved you and you never responded.

The next day he sent you a good morning text that you responded to. He asked if you wanted to go to brunch and then do some shopping but you said no. When he asked why you didn’t respond. Around dinner he sent another text.

jungkook<3: wanna get dinner and watch a movie? I’m starving

y/n: I already ate

jungkook: wanna watch a movie then?

y/n: I’m tired

y/n: I’m sure Mina would say yes :)

jungkook: I don’t wanna watch It with her. I wanna see it with you :(

And you didn’t respond.

He decided he’d just see you Monday, maybe you weren’t feeling good and not even your boyfriend could make you feel better. Right? Yeah, that’s probably it.

Except on Monday you didn’t respond to him when he asked if he was picking you up along with Mina. So he had to find you after your first class, “Y/n.”

It took you a second to even look at him and he can’t lie and say that didn’t hurt. What was wrong was he seriously the reason you’re upset? Did he do something? He wanted to find you before class but Mina made him late so he had to go straight to his own class with her and she followed him to find you.

You weren’t at all surprised to see Mina behind him when he called out to you and it made you wanna roll your eyes. It hurt your feelings and honestly if he was going to be so open with how he feels for her then he should just date her instead. But you weren’t going to give them the satisfaction of being jealous, “Hey.”

He gave you a hug leaning down to kiss you but you turned your head before he could meet your lips and instead he got your hair which had him spitting out a strand in surprise. Well, okay. He tried to smile, “So where does my baby want to go for lunch?”

“Yeah Y/n, where we going?” Mina chimed on and it was getting very hard for you to ignore her. Maybe you should just break up with him. It’d make things easier for everyone involved. He can date her like he wants to and you can stop feeling like you have to compete for your boyfriend’s attention when you’re clearly not winning. You checked the time on your phone, “I’ve got a study session to get to. You guys go ahead.”

“Alright, where do you wanna go? Or can I choose?” Mina jumped at the opportunity before you had even left. You rolled your eyes now that your back was turned and left before Jungkook could respond to her. You didn’t want to hear what he’d say.

He thought about you all day. Literally, all day. There was not a single moment he wasn’t wondering about his girlfriend. Why were you upset—with him?

The next day felt pretty similar but he did get a kiss out of you. It was tender and sweet yet you still felt distant. Like, though you enjoyed the kiss, you were happy to pull away. It made him panic, not full blown panic, but definitely let his mind run rampant. He has to get you talk to him. Text him more. Just something. He texts you good morning and you respond but when he tries to deepen the conversation suddenly you don’t respond for hours. Hours!?

Its been five days of this and he’s really starting to worry. Clearly he did something wrong because you’re only distant with him. He sees you smiling with the others, his own friends too. Yet you can’t muster up one of those passive smiles that don’t really hold meaning. He’s tried giving you space thinking maybe you’re not feeling well, you’re not usually in the best mood when something is off. But what did he do?

What did he do? What did he do? What did he do? Ding.

mina: can we get drinks later? :(

jungkook: I’m going to Y/n’s

mina: aren’t u guys fighting

jungkook: no?

mina: well I’m here for u

mina: anything u need

mina: at all times even if it’s late

mina: :)

Jungkook’s brows furrowed staring at the texts. What is she even talking about? Then suddenly, it dawned on him. How he had been so clueless, so blind? Who knows. Who fucking knows! Oh my god he seriously thought they were just friends. No, they are friends but apparently that wasn’t Mina’s full agenda. All those times she’s come out with the guys, joke around about something stupid with him, and give genuine advice over how to make you happy. [rue bennet—‘all those times cassie consoled her, comforted her…none of it was real.]

No wonder everyone has been awkward around him. No wonder he’s found you hanging out with his own friends more than him. No wonder lately it feels like Mina’s asked him and him alone to hang out. NO WONDER WHY YOU WON’T FUCKING TALK TO HIM.

He began thinking of a plan. An apology wouldn’t be enough, he knows that. He’s made you feel awful and it kills him to know he couldn’t even realize it. He wished he understood your silence when Mina was around, instead of assuming you were shy. The times Mina would be hanging off him as his girlfriend stands somewhere else and he was too dumb to see.

He showed up at your place the next day. It was late and he knew it was late but he had just gotten off work and after you avoiding him around campus, he didn’t see you till now. He called you that he was outside and with little time to make an excuse you let him up.

“I’m sorry,” was the first thing he said when the door opened, “I’ve been a shitty boyfriend and I’m so fucking sorry.”

“Jungkook, It’s late, I’m tired—“ “Please Y/n, please, I miss you. I miss you so much and I don’t like this distance between us.”

This time you couldn’t bite your tongue, “I thought Mina was filling it up pretty well for you. So just cut the bullshit.”

“Babe, it has never even been like that with Mina—“

“Well you could’ve fooled me,” you weren’t going to bottle it in. It’s been days and it took him this long? “You spend so much time with her and she pretty much acts the part.”

“But you’re my girlfriend, not her, not anyone else. I promise I’m done being friends with her. I won’t even talk to any and other gi—“

“What’s that gonna do?” You asked, “Do you think I want my boyfriend to do that? Because that’s not what I want. I don’t care who you’re friends with. I care about how you act and how you’ve pretty much left me for her time and time again.”

“Please, it’s not that at all. I thought she just wanted to be friends. I really did and if you just told me you felt this way I would’ve never done anything to upset you.”

“I don’t need to tell you!” You groaned, “I don’t need to beg you to pay attention to me. I’m not asking for a lot and honestly if you couldn’t figure that out on your own then maybe this doesn’t work anymore.”

“What?” He swears his heart dropped to his feet, “What do you mean?”

“I mean, I’m tired and I’m not in the mood to talk about this.”

That wasn’t an answer, but it was also answer enough that you slammed your bedroom door in his face where he heard the click and you shut yourself in. He took a few jagged breaths, he couldn’t even bring himself to knock. You were definitely not in the mood and whatever else he says will just further ruin everything. So he sat on your couch and waited in thought.

By morning you were more exhausted than last night. You basically dragged your body out of bed in need of coffee before started anything. It was early, way too early and as you left your room, you stopped. Jungkook was in a sitting position on your couch, phone in his limp hands, head fallen forward and in deep sleep. He slept on your couch? Sitting up? You’ll admit it’s weird to see your boyfriend sleep anywhere but your bed. You went to wake him, not able to stop yourself from brushing his hair up.

He woke up with a gentle sigh at your touch, head turning up to look at you, “You’re right.”

“I didn’t prioritize you when I should have and I’m so sorry,” it was too early for this but you couldn’t bring it in you to stop him. “If you just give me one more chance, I won’t ever make you doubt our relationship. Please just don’t say this doesn’t work anymore because I really don’t want to break up. I love you.”

You took a deep inhale and exhale in concentration. You weren’t sure what to say, honestly, so instead you stood between his legs and left him hug you. “I know.”

“No, you don’t know how much I love you Y/n. I never stop thinking about you no matter who I’m with,” he confessed to the most honest thing he can, “And it kills me that I haven’t shown you just how much and treated you like you deserve to be treated.”

“Jungkook, it’s early, we’ve got class, we’ll talk later,” you told him as he stood now. He wanted to object and ask to talk now but he shouldn’t. He needs to approach then when you want to do it. He'll be patient. He just has to show you through actions and not just words.

It was later in the day when he saw you again. During lunch he joined you in the lunch room and when Mina came up he was quick, “l’m having lunch with Y/n today.”

“That’s fine,” Mina said with a smile that said she wasn’t getting the hint, “I don’t mind.”

“I mind,” Jungkook cut in, “And I’m telling you I’m eating with my girlfriend. Alone.”

You both had the same expression of confusion and surprise. You’ve never heard him talk in that tone ever, or at least not around you. Jungkook motioned to an empty table and you started walking over, just leaving Mina behind. You felt awkward. From what he said this morning you know he wouldn’t leave you for Mina but you were still mad and yet you felt bad for doubting him. It was just so complicated but Jungkook didn’t press you for more. Aside from that short talk with Mina, he was relevantly quiet. He just sat next to you and did little things. For instance, he just split the perilla leaf with you. You’d understand the gesture and how much it meant to him. How serious he took it despite how silly you think it is.

He started hanging out with other friends instead of Mina. He made more time for you because he genuinely loves spending time with you. You’ve opened up to him more too, not just bottling things up and expressing yourself. And he listened. He adores you, he really does and he should’ve showed it to you sooner. He’s not dumb enough to make the same mistake twice. He’s going to appreciate you for everything you are and never instill that sort of mistrust in your relationship again.

#kpop #jeon jungkook #jungkook request #jungkook drabble #bts #kooktrash requests

[chelseeebe]

and you’re a liar.

summary: how do two people who are so clearly wrong for each other navigate through their turbulent relationship? both constantly striving to one up the other with their antics, who will crack first?

a/n: so this is very loosely based on the 1975’s - you, i am literally obsessed but i love a little bit of toxicity so this is the manifestation of that lol ik u binches love fluffiness so do not expect that reading forward

i rlly rlly want to do like a the 1975 song series with just short little pieces based on a few of their songs! idk i saw them last week and have been completely obsessed since

!!! toxic!reader and toxic!steve, mentions of slight infidelity and just steve being an asshole i suppose !!! no use of y/n

your relationship with steve was chaotic, everybody knew that.

two people who were so perfect for each other yet should never ever be in a relationship with one another.

and when it was good, it was good.

but christ, when it was bad, it was hell on earth and not just for you two but everybody else around you too.

this particular fight had started at a party, when a girl you don’t really remember walked up to steve, disregarding you and flinging her arms around his neck.

it wasn’t exactly uncommon, he was a popular guy, he knew many people you didn’t. but you clocked the way his hands lingered on her waist, how he grinned down at her, licking his disgustingly soft lips and the way she peered back at him, fluttering her lashes.

you were off, it was like a fuse had sparked in your stomach and you were on the war path, looking for the first person to give you attention like that.

not really paying attention to whoever you grabbed, just intent on finding anyone that would rile steve up.

it’s unfortunate that the first person had to be billy hargrove, taking his leather clad arm into your hand and pulling him to the centre of the room, making him dance along to the pop beat blaring from the speaker.

it’s not long before his hands begin to roam, finding his large palms moving around the soft skin on your back, creeping underneath your shirt.

you don’t reciprocate of course, still dancing to the music, albeit moving slightly closer to him.

he nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck and you throw your head back, not really an invitation but if that’s how he saw it, then what could you do?

you’re jolted away from the curly-haired boy, his fingers still desperately trying to hold onto your skin.

it’s steve, obviously, his hand gripping your wrist and the same stern look you’d become accustomed to painted across his face.

‘i think it’s time to go, yeah?’ he drags you across the room, although not really as you’re willingly following him out, a smug smirk on your mouth as party goers look on.

‘get off of me!’ you pull your arm away when you’re outside of the large house.

‘what the fuck was that?’ he shouts, storming over to his car.

‘what the fuck was what? dancing? is that a crime now?’ you scream back, standing on the lawn in defiance.

‘don’t play dumb with me, not tonight,’ he unlocks the car, glaring over at you.

‘i’m not,’ you pout, jutting your bottom lip out, your stance was not that difference to the one of a toddler having a tantrum.

he opens the passenger door, hanging onto the metal, ‘are you coming or not?’

you walk over to the car, not once breaking your stare as you slide into the seat and he slams the door shut.

he huffs as he gets into his side, ‘you’re fucked, do you know that?’ but he doesn’t start the car, instead turning to face you.

‘oh, because i was dancing? you’re fucked, who the fuck was that you were drooling all over?’ you sit forward, pleased that you had got exactly what you wanted.

he scoffs, ‘don’t tell me you did all of that because of her?’ his eyes are dark, practically snarling at you.

‘i’m so sorry i don’t want to watch my boyfriend eye-fucking some other girl,’ you had got him to bite, perfectly.

he smiles, but it’s not exactly a happy smile, ‘you are fucking crazy, you let that asshole touch all over you because i looked at someone,’ he inches closer.

‘i’ll show you fucking crazy if that’s what you want,’ your heart is pounding, there was just something about knowing that steve was this pent up over you that just drove you nuts.

he couldn’t resist it either, though he hated how you’d choose to get this point, he still undeniably loved it. and the fact that it was billy only intensified the fire.

his eyes flicker down to your lips, losing the smile from his face rather quickly, ‘yeah? i’d love to fucking see it.’

‘i’ll go back in there right now, don’t try me,’ you lean closer, inches away from his face as his eyes stare back at yours, pupils blown out in either anger or lust.

‘go then, i dare you,’ he remarks, biting down on his bottom lip.

‘fuck you,’ you spit back, breath staggering at the intensity.

it’s enough for steve, his hand flies up to your cheek as he crashes his lips to yours, his hand holding your head steady.

your hands find his hair, pushing your body against his as his thumb finds your chin.

he pulls back, panting at the heat of the moment, ‘yeah, i didn’t think so,’ he mumbles, smirking at you.

‘mhm, don’t push me,’ you remark.

there was no way you were ever going to actually go back in there, you didn’t care for billy or anyone else for that matter, getting steve to this point was the important part.

‘you don’t have to be a little slut to get my attention, you know?’ he says, still gripping onto your cheek.

‘hmph, then maybe you shouldn’t be a whore in the first place,’ you reply, a smirk creeping up your face.

he pulls back, finally starting the car, ‘try harder next time, didn’t really do it for me.’

you roll your eyes and sit back in your seat.

earnestly waiting for the next opportunity to make him eat his words.

-

you and steve had, maybe quite stupidly, moved in together very early on into your relationship.

his lease was ending and you were already looking for apartments, so why not just kill two birds with one stone? paying half for one room seemed like the best idea.

besides, his friends were your friends and vice versa, the girls had been enthusiastic about the idea of having ‘a man’ in the house.

it worked sometimes, but when you two were at each others throats, it was honestly unbearable. and the fact they were then going to have to listen to hours of obnoxious, really quite aggressive, make up sex made it worse.

you sit cross-legged on your bed, steve laid down shirtless next to you, hogging the joint.

‘are you gonna actually share that?’ you remark, looking down at him.

he reluctantly hands it over, not without one last pull, ‘rollers rights, babe.’

you roll your eyes, toking on the badly rolled joint, ‘yeah whatever that means.’

his hand rubs along your exposed thigh, ‘are we going tonight, or not?’

you exhale, ‘yeah, i think we should,’ nodding.

‘alright, fine by me,’ his fingers begin to play with the hem of his your t-shirt.

‘i hope your little girlfriend’s there again, who was she anyway?’ you ask, taking slow tokes of the joint.

‘who? oh my god,’ he realises who you’re speaking about, ‘she’s just some girl i fucked, she’s obsessed.’

you glare at him, neither of you were exactly celibate before finding each other, but it still irritated you nonetheless.

‘when? she seemed pretty comfortable just walking up and touching on you,’ you hold the joint out to him, except slightly out of reach, only to be rewarded after his answer.

‘fuck sake i don’t know.. september? why’s it matter?’ he reaches out but you pull your hand away.

‘september? are you joking?’

‘no?’

‘when in september?’ you sit up straight, brows furrowed.

‘i don’t know.. jesus christ why do you care?’ his hand stops wandering your thigh.

‘oh i don’t know steve.. maybe because you were with me in september?’ you frown at him, had he really just admitted to cheating on you with his own stupidity.

‘no- fuck, it was before we were together, like early september,’ he sits up slightly, now eye-level with you.

‘oh so you what, you were choosing between me and her? a little trial run before you committed?’ you snark back, the joint had burnt out at this point so you stub it out fully into the ashtray.

‘what the fuck? no, it was a fucking stupid hookup.. i don’t even remember,’ he scowls at you, eager for another round of dramatics.

‘so you fucked her once and now she’s obsessed with you? got it,’ you nod sarcastically.

‘yes! oh my god, this is so stupid, you’re my girlfriend aren’t you? is that not good enough?’

you scoff, ‘get fucked, you can go to this stupid little party on your own.. i hope she’s there to wipe your tears,’ you shift away from him.

‘you are insane,’ he stands from the bed, angrily grabbing a shirt and sliding it on.

you look down at your lap, stern faced.

‘come and find me when you’re done with whatever the fuck this is,’ he gestures around the room, exasperated.

‘don’t come back here tonight, i don’t want to see you.’

he lets out a breathy, sarcastic laugh before walking out, slamming the door shut.

this was the first time you actually weren’t playing a game. your boyfriend had genuinely just admitted to sleeping with someone else while you two were either in a relationship or at the very least exclusively dating, and he couldn’t see the problem with that.

the image of him smirking down at her, his hand resting on her waist and those sickening eyes just watching her face, flash through your head.

and now your reaction didn’t seem so over exaggerated, in fact, you’re mad you didn’t do more.

-

steve creeps through the door at some point after midnight, much earlier and a lot less drunker than you had expected.

he removes his shirt, throwing it back onto it’s rightful place on the floor.

you don’t move, keeping your eyes shut as the mattress dips and he climbs in.

it was quite obvious that you weren’t actually asleep, but you were hoping that he would either not notice or just not want to talk.

‘i know you’re not asleep,’ he mumbles, moving closer and pressing his bare chest against your back.

you don’t respond, trying to keep your breath steady after his unexpected touch.

‘you’re still mad?’ his hand slowly slides up your arm, nuzzling his face into the back of your neck.

he smells of cigarettes and booze, it’s intoxicating and your heart pounds in your chest.

‘you stink, get off of me,’ you say, it comes out in a whisper.

you can feel his grin on your neck, his lips pressing into your soldier, leaving a soft kiss.

‘you’re such a bad liar,’ he smirks, inhaling into your skin.

‘i told you not to come back,’ you’re trying not to soften at his touch but almost instinctively you curl into him.

‘yeah unfortunately i live here too,’ he jokes, his large hand sliding down your arm and onto your waist.

it makes you shiver and you clear your throat in an attempt to distract him from the fact his touch could instantaneously make you crumble.

‘i’m sorry, okay?’ he mutters under his breath, even he knows he’d done wrong.

‘i don’t accept your apology,’ you reply, keeping your eyes pressed shut.

he moves closer, his hips now flush with your ass as his fingers begin to dig into the flesh of your waist.

it’s an automatic response to curve the base of your spine, pushing out against him.

‘no?’ he smiles smugly, beginning to rock his hips back and forth.

you don’t even try to suppress the moan that escapes your mouth, pressing your thighs together at the arousal in your core.

‘no,’ you breathlessly reply.

his hand finds it’s way to the small pair of shorts you had on, fingers teasing their way past the waist band and onto your thigh.

he taps his hand to gesture for you to lift your leg and you oblige, his smirk was not the only thing you could feel growing against your back.

his fingers move down between your already soaked lips, ‘why are you so wet then?’

they slowly begin to move, obviously avoiding the one sweet spot you were begging him to touch.

‘shut.. up..’ you mumble, face pressed into the pillow as your hand wraps around his forearm, nudging him to actually touch you.

he does as you wish, circling around your sensitive clit with his middle and forefinger.

you let out a sigh, finally getting what you had longed for. further pushing your ass against his erection, moving your hips with his fingers.

this elicits a reaction from him, groaning into your hair. the grip on your waist tightens in an attempt to stop you from moving.

‘i’m gonna fuckin’ come in my pants if you’re not careful,’ he growls, now grinding back against you.

you pant in response, finger nails imprinted into his arm, ‘hurry up then.’

his fingers stop, leaving your clit and immediately tugging down your shorts.

he wriggles out of his jeans, pulling his boxers around his thighs, not enough time to care about taking them off properly.

the hand that was previously down your shorts now rests on your hip, pulling your closer before hooking around your thigh, holding your leg in the air.

he grunts as he slides into your soaked entrance and your head falls back, mouth wide as his other hand snakes under your body, wrapping around your now exposed neck.

‘fuck,’ you sigh, tightening your grip on his arm as he begins to move inside of you, hips slamming against your ass.

he mumbles some incoherent curse words, moving slowly but steadily, reaching the spongy spot as the back of your head rests against his shoulder.

‘i knew.. uhh, i knew you’d forgive me,’ he moans against your neck, leaving sloppy kisses in the wake of his words.

the room fills with the sound of his skin colliding with yours, your wetness and the ever-so-slight rhythmic knocking of your headboard against the wall.

his fingers squeeze your throat, causing you to exclaim, ‘steve.. shit,’ you manage to get out as your legs begin to tremble.

‘yeah? you gonna come for me?’ he whines, beginning to falter as he fast approaches his own climax.

you let out a small, desperate noise as he continues to pound into you.

‘huh?’ he reiterates, loosening the grip on your neck.

your legs shake as you feel the overwhelming sense of pleasure overcoming your body, walls clenching around him, sure you were drawing blood from your grip on his arm.

his name repeatedly tumbles out of your mouth as you writhe around him, shaking as you ride out your high, rutting back against his last few pumps.

his fingers claw at the shirt around your neck, grunting as he slams into you, releasing himself into you, his head thrown back, unashamed of his loud moans.

he pulls out, gasping for air as his arms cradle your waist, his wet forehead pressed against the nape of your neck.

you attempt to catch your breath, finally releasing your hold on his arm and relaxing into his hold and kicking your legs to rid them of your discarded underwear.

‘i still don’t forgive you,’ you murmur, pulling the blanket over your bodies.

‘i don’t believe you,’ he utters, inhaling deeply into your skin.

you pout, although it’s useless, ‘i really am mad this time, steve.’

he sighs softly, ‘i know.. i’m sorry, alright?’ he brushes your hair around your shoulder, his lips pucker, leaving a small wet kiss to the now exposed skin.

‘mhm, do it again and i’ll break your jaw,’ you threaten him.

your heart still aches at the distrust but there’s a small part of you that knows that you truly would never be able to let him go, no matter what he did.

he was exhilarating and you were addicted to him, to the feeling he gave you. longing for him when he wasn’t there and wanting to kill him when he was.

‘that’s kinda hot, to be honest,’ he smirks, shimmying his jeans off and pulling you closer.

‘how was the party?’ you question, not really interested but asking anyway.

‘hmm, it was boring without you there.. there was no one trying to make me jealous all night,’ he answers, tangling his legs with yours.

you giggle, closing your eyes and settling into the bed, ‘you just wait.’

eventually falling asleep as his fingers trace along the length of your body.

#steve harrington #steve harrington x you #steve stranger things #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington angst #steve harrington x y/n #stranger things x you #steve harrington fic #steve harrington smut #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington au #steve harrington x fem!reader #stranger things smut

[toomuchracket]

im not kidding i reread the boat angst saga at least 2 times a week. it’s so good.

if you’re not planning that to be a fic maybe you could write birthday party angst? like they’re both on separate tours (satvb and her book tour.) and they haven’t seen each other in awhile which transpires in to a fight about how either one doesn’t make enough time for each other (maybe leading to a “break” that only really last a few days and the entire time matty is beating himself up over it. or if you want to make it ESPECIALLY messy, he could have had a misunderstanding and thought maybe she was cheating on him?) could also work for flatmate. like he’s all consumed with his tour until he comes back to find girlie throwing herself in to a case (aka not making time for him.) which leads to them fighting, and her thinking he’s undermining her work. (maybe pre-kids)

i love the birthday party idea especially, but i might take inspo from the other one too!! thinking maybe matty gets a bit miffed that you can't always talk to him during the day (for you), because you have MULTIPLE events/appearances scheduled per day (podcasts, interviews, etc. on top of talks and presentations and book signings) - for some reason, he doesn't seem to get that, prob because his version of tour is so different from yours. idk, maybe he feels like he's putting all the effort in and it's not reciprocated, which really isn't true given that you're literally flying out to see him in a week after your own (lengthy) tour ends, and you get quite upset about it and say something like "well, now you know how it feels for once", and it starts a whole argument about how he asked you to come on tour with him last time and you said you couldn't because you had final drafts and editorial meetings and things that are really a lot easier to do when you're at home. maybe he says something quite cold and condescending about how that all seemed like a fucking shit excuse for not going, because he's a writer too AND he has to record and he can do it all while he's touring, and you get extremely upset because a) he's making it seem like his work is more important than yours, and b) he's disregarding the fact that he can only do everything at once because he doesn't have to do it all himself like you do. and matty lets his frustration get the better of him and says something like "well, it's not like anyone could work with you anyway, too fucking stubborn to compromise", and you just go SILENT and then say "ok. i'll just refund the plane tickets for coming out next week, then, since i can't compromise. bye. i'll maybe see you when you get back to london. but i'm not holding my breath" - he's like "whatever", and assumes you're bluffing, but you're dead serious. not that he bothers calling, because he's just as stubborn as you and neither of you want to be the person to cave first and call the other, but he does go to the airport the day you're meant to fly out to pick you up, and fucking PANICS when your flight gets in and you don't appear; only then does he phone you to question where you are and if you're ok, and you coolly say "i did tell you i wasn't coming. my lack of ability to compromise didn't tip you off?", and matty honest to god starts crying about how he was an arsehole and fucked up and how he didn't really mean any of it and he really does love you. he's giving it "i'll fly home now i'll fucking do it. i need to sort this", and you're like "no, finish the tour. i don't need you resenting me for anything else about it" - your voice cracks on that last sentence, and he feels like he's going to throw up with guilt. but you do love him, and you really miss him, so you forgive him eventually after you talk when he gets home. things take a while to get back to the way they were, and even then they're never quite the same again; not in a bad way, just in the two of you being kinder to each other about processes and touring and respecting each other's work. kinda wwat vibes, actually <3

#mads answers asks #matty asks #angst asks #into the birthday partyverse

[goopi-e]

You've been visited by all portal ships for the ask game. Chellmann and wheatdos are mandatory, others are for you to choose!

Aha! Little did you know that reblogging the ask game post was merely a ploy to give me an excuse to talk about the shittiest dating sim of all time, also known as Pоrtal.

(One-off crackships that I do find enjoyable are not included, this post isn't about that).

Btw, a disclaimer that should've been there earlier: I strongly believe in the "present me with a good enough fanwork and I'll be on board even for something I don't usually ship" approach.

WhеаtDОS: Iunno. What is there to say. I'm as unwell about them as I've been since 2016. My brain chemistry will never be the same, and I wish I was exaggerating. Gabe says Whеаtley is going through a divorce, and I, in turn, ask, who he could've had a legally recognized relationship with to be divorced from, if not with the person he was made to be plugged into. It's psychological horror for both parties involved. I hope they bite each others' dicks off and die, handle in unlovable claw and all that. The world may pry this stupid, stupid pairing from my cold dead hands, and I'll still be clutching it as tightly as possible.

Chеllmаnn: I read Lаb Rаtt and I have eyes that I can see with. That being said: you know how a very good thing leaves you satisfied with no further questions, but a mediocre one compels you to dig deeper until you develop an obsession? Chеllmаnn... is good. Not a character dynamic that makes me go crazy, but it's good. It's a pairing which bears potential for the tasty angst and the sappy fluff alike, and a balanced diet is always welcome. I will gladly attend their wedding, and just as gladly smack the deflectors with a rolled newspaper. If I really wanted to play devil's advocate, I could say that Chеll should be inherently distrustful towards any Apеrture employee regardless of the actual role they took in her misfortunes, but if she's smart enough to collaborate with a potato that wants her dead for the sake of a common goal, she's smart enough to communicate with a genuine human being that's on her side.

ChеllDOS: Yes, yes, I know, she's not her mom, something something subtext subtext... Surprisingly, I am not that much of a hater; GLаDOS can haz a big fat lesbian crush if she wants to. It's funny, basically canon, and enriches her character immensely. That being said: Chеll would not fucking reciprocate. Her not fucking reciprocating is kind of the whole point of her character, actually, if the "not mute just refuses to talk" quote holds any weight. And idk, even if GLаDOS changed for the better during P2, I don't believe she changed significantly enough to make Chеll willing to stay. And yet... a part of me thinks I'd be really into it ChеllDOS if it was a rarepair and not an unavoidability.

Chеlley: L + Chеll would not fucking reciprocate 2: Robotic Boogaloo + I am not reading The Fanfic, come back when you can incorporate Sp��ce Core into the story without killing him in the first few seconds.

Cаvеline: Oh, so when you guys put Cаroline in a messy heterosexual workplace relationship with a guy that has negative amount of braincells, it's fine and dandy, but when I, a WhеаtDOS shipper— *gets shot by turrets* (Note: the author's disdain for Cаveline and its' fans is played up for laughs. The author's disdain for Cаve Jоhnsоn specifically is not).

#fell asleep mid-typing sowwy

[thiccydriftyy]

I’m reading Ven’s response…

DB struggled from both theirs and Alex’s miscommunications in the relationships… or they struggled from other things that we don’t see. Which is fine ‘cause I’m not the governor of struggle, I’m not out here trying to see every little struggle of the people riding the struggle bus. Those feelings are real but let’s not place the ENTIREEEE blame on Alex. He took part in causing that struggle, but so did DB themselves as seen in some of these next screenshots.

Okay so this section in the new doc just pisses me off ‘cause like, they straight up just added new claims??? Originally, if I am correct, in the original doc they said that AK only jerked it to the pictures of the prom dress (which there’s no way he could’ve known DB was seventeen at the time the photo was taken unless it was clarified, especially since according to Ven they didn’t know what each other looked like at the time? I feel like you’d probably assume that’s the grown adult person instead of a 17 year old person if they sent that picture without knowing what their face looked like?? Why’d they send the picture of them as a 17 y/o in the first place?? I do not understand sending a picture from years ago and not clarifying it’s from years ago unless you really really liked that picture…) but like in the OG doc that was barely clarified, only by DB in a screenshot of a message saying there’s no way he would’ve known that they were 17 in that picture. It paints AK in a predatory way, when in reality it was a misstep of communication, boundaries, and probably AK assuming that’s present-time DB.

But I’m trying to find the stuff about him jerking it to the other stuff they mentioned and I’m just??? Not finding it?? Like… I feel like they’re just adding new stuff at this point. And yeah masturbating to someone’s pics without permission is probably a little weird. Idk guys I’m literally a minor and I don’t engage in sexual situations due to my age so I don’t know much about what line that crosses. Probably crosses a line somewhere, however it’s not my business as a minor to go and find out what line that crosses… But an important thing in any kind of relationship is clear communication, and nothing was communicated clearly in this situation. DB did not communicate that they were 17 in that picture, Alex did not communicate the sexual purposes in which he was personally using the photo, and DB did not communicate that they were uncomfortable with what Alex was doing. Both parties are most definitely at fault here.

Also:

Here’s them communicating boundaries and DB saying that if Alex made them uncomfortable, they’d tell them. So with this previously established and communicated boundary, that DB will tell Alex if they are uncomfortable with any situation, Alex now has that boundary in mind and thinks that DB will communicate whenever she’s going too far. However, that boundary was not upheld by DB. I doubt good boundaries were upheld by Alex either. Adults, work on your boundary-making skills. I’m tired of online drama just being a handbook on how not to communicate with someone.

YOU ARE LITERALLY A GROWN ASS ADULTTTTT WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL HIM. Obviously the first thing you do when boundaries are broken, especially sexual ones, is to be like “hey stop”?? I get that it’s difficult to stand up for yourself in situations like these, but like Jesus Christ you’re merely online. All you gotta do is send a text like “stop bro” and after observing Alex’s behaviors in the documents I think he would’ve apologized and stopped. I literally have never even held hands in a romantic way and I know this. I know how to clearly and efficiently communicate boundaries, which apparently these grown adults do not know how to do. Like DB encouraged this sort of sexual stuff and reciprocated it?? Like how is he supposed to know if you’re uncomfortable with it if you don’t tell him… especially after DB saying that they WOULD tell him if they were uncomfortable. I shouldn’t feel like I’m watching my friends in their early teens get into their first relationship and fuck it up irreversibly while I’m reading these messages.

Also what is this. “This consent is superficial” yeah sure buddy. Okay. Yeah sure. Source: trust me. I feel like if it was superficial that would just be like… lying at this point? The responsibility is on both parties to communicate boundaries and consent (which both of them failed miserably at that to various degrees) but at least Alex was honest tbh 😭

Also… more use of “power dynamic” and “predatory” by Ven. I feel as if they truly do not know what this means. Because isn’t DB older than Alex? But they’re around the same age, in an romantic relationship with each other!! I think there is a proper way to be involved in a romantic relationship with someone online as a person with a significant online following. That does not involve a power imbalance. All you have to do is treat each other with respect and communicate clearly like human beings, and not leverage the platform one has against each other. That is literally all you have to do, honestly. I feel like it shouldn’t be so difficult.

Ven also does not know what “love bombing” means… none of this is “love bombing”, just very poor communication.

Also this is the part where DB is like “I was with my mom and he was sending sexual pics despite me telling him to stop” or something like that… THIS IS NOT TELLING HIM TO STOP?????????? This message makes it seem like they’re joking about it or somewhat okay with it. This is not how you communicate boundaries. This is not how you tell someone to stop doing something that bothers you. I feel like you’d perhaps need to do that a bit more seriously than this. If someone is making you uncomfortable you don’t joke about to them and hope they pick it up, you just straight up tell them… girl wtf…

From Alex’s document:

Like… why is everyone here so bad at communicating 😭

“Yeah this guy made a series and got really popular and then got into a romantic relationship with one of his ADULT fans. That’s a power dynamic issue”… I think you can have a healthy and normal romantic relationship with someone who is a fan of your work. I mean, isn’t that even better because you both have shared interests…? Like oh cool now you can both talk about it and gain happy memories with each other. You can bond over your shared interests now. Have fun. I feel like if you are in a close personal relationship with someone, their subscriber count shouldn’t really matter unless they’re using it against you (which Alex didn’t). The person you’re developing a relationship with should come first and foremost, instead of just seeing them as merely a person with a big subscriber account. I do not understand why Ven thinks that Alex cannot possibly be a normal person outside of his YouTube channel. It’s not like he’s fucking millionaire Taylor Swift or anything, he’s literally just some dude who happens to have a following?? Like he’s not this supreme being or anything he’s… just a guy. Literally just a dude. Only difference is he happens to have a following, which yes he needs to take that into account when interacting with fans, but it’s also entirely possible to just have a normal relationship with somebody if you have a big following. (He probably failed at normal relationships multiple times but it’s still possible.)

Also, why did DB feel powerless? They were both in a supposedly trusting relationship with one another, shouldn’t DB be able to confidently communicate with Alex? I feel as if the blame falls on both of them here with this one, mostly DB themselves.

#these are just my personal opinions… #also turning reblogs off #Stating I am a minor multiple times in a post is probably dangerous. #I have the block button on hand. #So I will turn reblogs off for this one. #take my opinions with a grain of salt #I’m really not the one you should be listening to in this drama #I literally have never participated in a romantic relationship in my whole life #don’t listen to me #thiccy rambles

[etcrump]

I have always had a hard time making friends and maintaining friendships with people. I am a gay male that has recently learned I am adhd and possibly autistic as well, but my whole life I have had difficulty in firmly establishing friendships without people flirting and wanting to make something more out of a relationship I am totally fine with staying as friends. I have had numerous female friends before I came out make advances on me and have been taken advantage of by both women and men because I have a hard time setting boundaries while maintaining what I believe to be a friendship. While trying to make friends in college my cast of a show I was in behind my back orchestrated me and this one girl I was friends with I didn’t know was crushing on me to sit together on a loveseat at a party together and then she started to aggressively make out with me while all of the cast came in to watch. And then attempting to make friends in the gay community years later, I was intoxicated and just needed a place to crash and a guy I had just met offered me to crash in his bed. I at first was consenting to what turned into a sexual moment but when I was too exhausted to contribute and asked if we could just sleep the guy continued to fuck me and I remember going numb and wished for the moment to be over so that I could finally sleep but also get out as quickly as I could. Since those moments I’ve been a bit more diligent in making sure I don’t end up in situations like that again but it’s caused so much stress and anxiety just interacting with gay people. I started a new job and went out for food and drinks with a coworker I was hoping to make friends with and halfway through our dinner they ask me if we were on a date… I have friends that constantly send only fans and Instagrams of men they are ogling at and making jokes about jacking off to this and that person and another friend accosting a man walking down the street the other day. Going out to gay spaces I’ve been physically harassed and followed by men who don’t know when to stop interacting with me. Even just the flirty look up and down I get occasionally while out at what should be a safe space for queer people feels so degrading and weird and makes me want to leave more than interact with the people giving me eyes and looking at me as meat instead of as a person. Idk what to do about any of this but needed to get these thoughts out. It’s been an issue for a long time and speaking with my partner this morning about it all felt nice having someone finally reciprocate these thoughts and emotions I’m feeling but it was difficult getting across because they thought this was more of a discussion on me telling him to police our friends and his behavior more so than just verbalizing this is a larger community problem I’ve had and that this is all valid and nothing to do with my body image or anything like that. Just wanting to be respected as a person and wishing I could interact in a space without feeling preyed upon all the time.

#personal

[renren-writes]

Since you’re writing a SJW x OC fic, what are your thoughts on Jinwoo’s “canon love interest”, Cha Haein? There’s a lot of conflicted opinions regarding Haein.

Some don’t like how Jinwoo has any love interest at all, some dislike that Haein was just shoved in for no reason, others like other characters more than Haein, etc. Others also consider her best girl since she’s you know, “the canon LI”, she’s cute and powerful, she has a special thing for Jinwoo right away (he smells good to her?? idk) and also called the strongest female hunter in Korea.

Although it honestly doesn’t mean much since most of the time she’s being beaten around like the others.

at first i wasn’t big on hae-in, since she admittedly was super bland. but in retrospect she’s kind of a great character, and i wish the moment in the double dungeon where she called jinwoo her friend—the first person since his glow up to actually say out loud they considered him a friend—had been expanded on before the romance started. we see both as a hunter and as a teenager in the epilogue that she’s competitive and steadfast, never really wavering on her goals even if they hurt her (such as no longer being able to do track because of an ankle injury she didn’t get treated during a qualifier), but she also has a deep respect for people who aren’t the same rank as her but have skills in their own right? i found it neat that chi-yul, the man who’d led the party into the double dungeon in the beginning and lost his arm, was his mentor—compared to other s-rankers in the story, we rarely saw any who let anyone under an a-rank stand by their side outside of administrative roles.

but with her being the strongest female hunter in korea… i do feel like the story made her the ONLY female s-ranker in korea and the a-rankers we did see had potential—its why i wanted hani to spend a little time with yerim, who was a healer who was able to create a shield strong enough to act as cover for everyone while the warriors regrouped. overall we don’t see a lot of the female hunters but out of all of them, i think hae-in suffered the most for it. i like her and her sense of duty and her efforts, but i also don’t like how it was love at first sniff? sure, we see it’s likely a thing among those with mana sensitive noses—kei from draw sword guild wanted to get closer to hae-in, possibly romantically, because he noticed she had a sensitive nose like he did and it was their first time meeting—but hunters have only been integrated into society for ten years, so you can’t really chalk it up to hunter instincts, falling in love with someone whose mana you can’t smell.

but i do like her and seeing how she fought in the game’s trailer made me go gaga bc i love characters that have such a sleek fighting style like her?? and while hani does feel the same way as me, even acknowledging that the power fantasy did the romance dirty or could’ve gone without a romance, she doesn’t want to disrespect hae-in and acknowledges that that attraction may still exist. it’s why, in the next update, she’ll tell jinwoo to not wait for her to reciprocate his feelings—that she’ll find someone better (hae-in) and gladly attend their wedding as long as he thanks her for introducing them. (but ofc we know hani’s delusional)

#ren speaks #tldr i love hae-in but feel her potential wasnt explored #but i also have beef with the ranking system and the strongest in korea #we KNOW these people are strong but #we never see the gaps between them and jinwoo close until he outclasses them forst go #*first #sure yoonho says somethings off about jinwoo #but thats… all any of the korean s rankers say before we hit jinwoo fighting thomas #the WORLD NUMBER ONE #it was less a power creep and more a massive jump #i wouldve been so stoked to see jinwoo’s progress in comparison to the others #but it just had them silently acknowledging he jumped from e to s #and then openly begging he be part of the jeju raid #im sure the novel went into more detail but like #that was a lot of people keeping quiet that jinwoo was stronger than be presented #before gunhee found out and made an offer after his reeval