#but i think id rather have that at this point

[inkskinned]

they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?

they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.

you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.

you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.

mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.

you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.

#writeblr #warm up #to be clear let me state again: i think you should id however you fucking want if it helps you seek peace #but there is a HUGE difference between being like '.... im undiagnosed but i think i might be X' #and a person who is like ''omg my intrusive thoughts made me buy a birkin!!!'' #babe mine made me throw up bc they disgusted me so much <3 #mine made me hurt myself evenly. even when i wanted to stop. i have had to put my hand on the stove MULTIPLE TIMES #and again i'd rather have 10000 people get help for something they don't need help for #than have 1 kid NOT get help #but there has GOTTTTT to be a middle ground here #bc at this point it isn't ''raising awareness'' #it's . fucking misinformation. and ''what this picture says about you!!!!!'' #& yes! im mostly talkin about ppl who are actually disgusted and offended by signs of mental illness #but use it to defend THEIR actions #like babe you hate when kids start yelling in the walmart? but you YOuRSELF can yell? #you are depressed so it's fine you were cruel to your spouse? #but if your spouse spends too much time in bed she's a lazy fuck? #your partner needs to do everything for you bc of your history in trauma? but when SHE has needs she's being clingy and gross? #HUGE difference here between whom i think most of my followers are btw. like #all it takes is fucking anyyyy empathy or kindness . like. #anyway it's hard to explain im hoping we all know the person im talking about lol

[lieu-rey]

based off one of @nitewrighter 's bapweaver fanteractions!

and then the inevitable happens</3

#overwatch #jean baptiste augustin #baptiste #lifeweaver #niran pruksamanee #bapweaver #pretending niran doesnt have cybernetic legs #i also think it would be funny if he was like. 'oh nooo. i hurt myself i cant walk!' #'if only there was a strong combat medic who could carry me</3' #btw i hate drawing baptistes legs and id rather never do it again</3 #i was gonna do a bridal style version instead of a piggy back ride i went with...maybe ill sketch it out at some point #my art

[dyketubbo]

i remember seeing someone call tubbo a fully grown adult at 19 (obvs before he turned 20) and i gotta say. i think maybe some people have a really skewed idea of what constitutes as "fully grown". and also what constitutes as properly mature. thinking that at 18/19 (or hell even at 20/21) people are now fully grown and mature is insane to me like yall thats how you get people thinking their life is over at like 23 and that 30 year olds are senior citizens 😭😭 be fr

#this is a problem no matter where you look but i think a lot of ppl in the mcyt fandom esp seem to think once youre- #-considered an adult at all that it automatically means youre fully grown and mature and thats just nooottt really true for most ppl #which i think can lead people down to sort of dangerous paths especially because 'adult' is often defined by age of consent #and theres also some slight cultural differences like even just between the us and the uk where due to 18yr olds being able to drink in- #-the uk (and other places) i think it genuinely causes some dissonance #where i see often in the us that when youre 18/19 youre still treated (id say rightfully) as being rather young and not Truly a grown adult #hence. yk. the term Young Adult #but i think in places where the drinking age is younger it starts causing people to see younger people as more mature #which is also why a lot of predators like to push for the age of consent to be at a younger age like 15 or 16 #and why many lolicons try to point at japans age of consent (which for the record is complicated and not as simple as just 'age of consent- #-is 13') as a defense for how they act #because these sorts of milestones (having sex and drinking) are seen as marks of a true adult. which gets into a whole lot of other #complicated things #and often dangerous things and ways of thinking #ANYWAYS . basically 18/19 isnt fully grown 20 is also hardly fully grown itself #and theres ways to combat people infantilizing tubbo and other creators his age without acting like hes actually #fully grown and mature lol. i promise you humans are not fully grown at 20 years old are you kidding me 😭😭😭😭 #if youre in your 20s you still have a lot of time and space to grow i promise. do not fall for the idea that your life is done by like 23 #idk. im only 18 myself but it just feels insane to me that if i were a creator people would be calling me a fully grown adult #not that im not an adult but i dont think im mature enough to be seen as fully grown and i guess itssss. sad? #to see other people my age think that turning 18 means youre fully grown. just really not true #theres a lot of 30 year olds who still see early 20yr olds as being practically babies we have Not made it to full maturity yet i prommy #mask mews

[spearxwind]

been thinking about for a long time how i really missing doing creative projects with others but at the same time its always blown up in my face so i think im not going to do it anymore

#its great when it works but when it doesnt (always for me) it just sucks real bad and at this point i think id just rather do my own thing #thunderclap #on the flipside i miss discussing oc stuff with friends but i havent been able to do that for a long time for various reasons #esp. just bouncing ideas off of each other which is how i used to do worldbuilding or at least getting some feedback and i think thats #why recently i have stagnated so so so much in terms of worldbuilding i dont really have anything going on with anyone #art is a collaborative between you and the world but what do you do when no one around you really cares? #i know venting about it on my blog wont fix it by any means but its my god given right to complain about it <3

[quietwingsinthesky]

sometimes interpreting media through a shipping lens enhances it, on occasion even beyond the author’s original intent, but sometimes, you do have to accept that your ship was not in the heads of anyone making the source material and trying to force it to fit into evidence of your ship will severely hinder your ability to discuss the actual text.

#and also ill hit you on the head with a brick #posts that. im not going to say theyre about destiel. im not going to say that. #and im not gojng to say it because. i dont need to. you already know <3 #and to be clear: its not the interpretation thats a problem here. thats the fun of shipping. its then taking what youve interpreted and then #trying to backread that onto the media itself as intentional. as intended. #dismissing the actual themes and story for evidence of a ship is the problem. u get me? #shipping brainrot is not ‘oh i think these characters would kiss for this reason’. #its ‘this show is and has always been about these characters kissing no matter how much i have to ignore about the show to make that true or #pretend is completely different than its actually presented or straight up make things up to make my ship be a part of the intended reading’ #thats the brainrot. the brainrot is when u step off the train of reality. #this is not true about the best piece of art ever made Captain America and the Winter Soldier. btw. that movie IS about bucky and steve #kissing alsjfdjskdjg #(<- okay im being silly here but id like to make a real point here too. the thing about TWS is that. it is genuinely enhanced by a romantic #reading. its not *better* than a platonic one. its just different. being able to see it through that lens does make a lot of the original #movie’s ideas even more complex. case in point like: steve struggling with his dating life. because what shared life experience does he have #with other people who look his age. and the movie is. about. someone who has his shared life experiences. and his mission to get bucky back. #you can see how that lens would be beneficial to the original movie rather than fighting it to prove the ship works in opposition to the #author’s original intent.)

[puppyeared]

you seem like the. kind of person who I'd run into during a rock concert while I'm trying to find bathroom and notably you are dressed kind of oddly for the concert (see: divorced dad outfit. hawaiian shirt. jorts. chunky sandles. giant sun hat.) and so I ask you "hello, do you know where I can find the bathroom?" and you go "yeah sure!!" and you point me the complete opposite direction from the bathroom. not on purpose, but because you also have no idea where the bathroom is. I thank you and go on my way, both of us oblivious to the fact we are currently very much not at a rock concert. it's an idie band that just screams really loud. sorry if that's specific you just give me giant 'perpetual tourist that isn't really a tourist and has never left their home city but just seems like a tourist anyways' energy

naw thats a pretty reasonable impression id say

#thank you for this i can very clearly see all of this happening whehghfdg #ive actually never been to a concert of any kind before!! id love to go see cavetown in person cuz hes the only one i actually consistently #listen to. but the dude only has his tours either in europe or the states orz #BUT if you did ask me where you could find a certain type of fish in the aquarium i could almost definitely get it right #only cause ive been to the aquarium enough times to memorize the galleries but forgetful enough to be surprised every single time #“yeah sure!!” is also a SPOT ON RESPONSE. not a “its that way” or “head there and turn left”. yeah sure is more on point than u could know #one time i was at the beach ogling these tiny fish and some guy asked me hows the water and i said theres tiny fish here!! #which did not answer his question and was so far off and its happened so many times that i think ive accepted it #ask #answered #yapping #doodles #puppysona #i also know deep in my soul i would dress oddly for a concert because 1) almost all the clothes in my closet are at least 8 years old #and 2) im very picky and wear for comfort rather than something i could actually use for certain outings. like a concert #i literally have a sweater that says baddie in fancy font and i only bought it because its REALLY FUNNY and it was like $12

[cruelsister-moved2]

i feel with lesbians, and im allowed to say this because im a lesbian, but honestly the punishment of individual lesbians is almost incidental compared to the fact its literally about making an example out of us. its like theres a potential lesbian in every woman and thats really who is being punished. straight women’s fear of acquiring that status VASTLY outweighs my actual lived discomfort as a lesbian. so much of the homophobia i experience stems from the perceived impossibility of my existence and the need to present me as repulsive, not directly to punish ME but to make other women afraid of being like me. so arguing like who would specifically be perceived as a lesbian in what situation feels so shallow when literally every woman is on some level perceived as like. a threat of hypothetical lesbian possibility

#because people will be like you HAVE to wear makeup as a woman or youll be PUNISHED #and its like. you absolutely can live a happy fulfilling life as a woman who doesnt wear makeup #the goal is not to stop the small percentage of women who dont wear makeup and shave #its to make sure the majority of women are so terrified of that punishment that you dont even need to actually dole out the punishment #straight women in particular are SO self-punishing its like the patriarchy doesnt even need to lift a finger anymore #and its a bit apples and oranges to me like personally id rather be crazy but free than safe and imprisoned but like #an understanding of lesbophobia that doesnt get this is pointless #the suffering that comes with being the one everyone points to n goes 'at least youre not THAT' is only half of the story #and personally recognising this has kind of freed me because its like actually so much of the punishment i experience is actually a threat #that doesnt actually come if you like. dont gaf what straight people and men think of you

[liquidstar]

a friend who'd wait :)

#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops. #and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can! #and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol #finn's ocs #finn's art #i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me #and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun #i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here: #barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past #he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it #he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned #which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them #they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore #but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird #and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place #though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library #and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together #since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door #eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement #barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time. #barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate #but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd #he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself #but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done. #and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies. #and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them) #and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances'' #from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov #sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3 #but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh

[redheadedfailgirl]

I really wish people who think trans women aren't treated like women could see the endless amounts of social and emotional labor demanded of them, both to be legitimately seen as women, and as payment for rejecting maleness. Because holy shit I don't think they understand. The amount of people who have asked me to be their lifeline when they need a suicide watch is insane. The amount of people treating me as their personal therapist is astonishing. There is genuinely no other explanation for some of the shit people do than that trans women are the proverbial whipping girls of the queer community and we have to shoulder people's emotional burdens alone.

#not to suggest that this labor isnt important or necessary #id rather be burnt out than have a dead friend #but this is a pattern in my life that i just dont see present for most other people #the next closest experience is when this same shit happens to black women which is real but i think a separate point plenty of black women #have been talking about for a while and you should listen to #this is largely about how this keep happening to trans women and its rarely acknwoledged by anyone else #i can simulateneously hold beliefs that evwryone deserves all the care and we should give it #and the people providing care are often coerced into that and selected for particular reasons #and thats messed up #idk if this is a coherent idea rn but it is now zero days since someone has asked me to talk them down from the ledge and im tired #transmisogyny #transphobia #transgender #lgbt #queer #trans women #suicide #depression #emotional labor #trans women are women #and that sucks sometimes

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

K wait so... Wally talks to a future version of Irey in The Flash #771. This is 20 years in the future (making Irey and Jai 29 years old and the new West baby ~19).

This is after the events of the flash forward in the One Minute War Special as Jai reunites with Lilly in that story and Jai is dating Lilly 20 years in the future. We don't have a time frame on how long Jai and Lilly have been dating or how long it took them to get together after their reunion so we can't estimate the One Minute War Special's place on the timeline just yet.

What we do know is that Jai and Irey seem to be 18+. Irey is the Flash in the One Minute War Special and is not Kid Flash, an alias we know she uses in her later teen years. I would say, at minimum, the OMW Special takes place 10 years in the future. Most likely it would be around 13-15 years however.

So why is this interesting? Well 29 y/o Irey is wearing her Kid Flash costume and ~25 y/o Irey is the Flash with her own Flash costume. Likewise 29 y/o Jai sports an orange and white costume whereas younger Jai rocks a cool red and black suit. I did think it was odd that an almost 30 y/o Irey West would still be Kid Flash, so it makes complete sense to me now that she was attempting to obscure the future. She didn't want her father to know anything about the future as this could impact the timeline. Wally already knew about Irey becoming Kid Flash as a teenager so this costume wasn't new to him.

Jai, I guess, just made up a new costume as a red herring? Or possibly, this orange costume will be what he wears as a teenager?

Another interesting thing is that the new West baby would be around 9-14 in the OMW special... the Fraction kidnaps speedsters specifically meaning he has powers.... and neither Jai nor Irey is Kid Flash..... I don't know about you guys but the fact that Irey's Kid Flash is most likely her little brother is just so cute. It's adorable.

#Irey thinks its hilarious when Wally asks if 29 y/o Jai is married. this indicates that Jai and Lilly have been dating for a while #because Irey thinks the concept of Jai proposing is extremely funny. so... been dating for a while. id say around five years probably #so a five year gap at minimum between the Flash flash forward and the OMW flash forward #Bart is also still Impulse in OMW. which could mean nothing. he's a time traveler and maybe he wants to be Impulse forever #but i always saw him as becoming Mercury one day. idk. to me Bart being Impulse still could date OMW as 10 y in the future rather than 15 #but thats extremely shaky. everything points to 10-15 but i can't really narrow it down further than that without making leaps in logic #dc #dc comics #the flash #kid flash #wally west #impulse #surge #jai west #irey west #one minute war

[tomboyyyaoi]

i cant describe it but people just putting meryl and milly in the background of vashwood instead of just putting them front and centre in their own piece genuinely feels like im being cucked like why did u even bother

like damn maybe id like the ship more if people didnt just go "theyr so cute and soft and married aahhh so so gentle and femme and girly theyr so cyute" then the only time they draw them is like. idfk them walking in on vash and wolfwood fucking eachothers brains out like god. all talk.

#i think its the only reason i dont like the pairing like. i like them theyr cute but. idk for me theyr not romantic #and its like. really annoying when people just say they ship them but its just lip service bc they rlly wanna pretend they care #but the truth is is that ive seen maybe 3 people put milly/meryl front and centre in their own dedicated art #and it was good #ppl just dont know what to do w them #not that i do either but hey at least i dont claim to ship them #listen im not tryin 2 dictate or anything #but fr it annoys me sm when people pretend to ship them to either go 'see? i do care about women!!! (lie)' or to get them 'out of the way' #DONT SAY U SHIP THEM IF U DONTTTT FUCK STOP PRETENDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #id rather u just leave them out of it like genuinely its such an insult to their characters like god #even nightow doesnt shove them to the back this much and they werent present for like 30 chapters at one point #BECAUSE HE KNEW IT WOULD BE MORE IMPACTFUL TO BRING THEM BACK IN SOME BIG REVEAL AND GIVE THEM SOMETHING TO DO #bc he respected his characters enough to not have them just bumble about in the background doing fuckall while he figured them out #so they were temporarily removed from the plot and them coming back and being Ready 2 Fucken Go was powerful it was so cool #please just respect these girls ffs stop having them be the Background Cardboard Cutout Dykes #so so so so so so annoying 2 me as a meryl and milly lover #rbs off i dont wanna start discourse #also ive talked abt this before

[beautifel]

seems like my heart does nothing but break lately

#oh my god dont read the tags. it breaks for everyone :( but on a more personal level #for my gf whos sinking deeper into something n i cant even help bc im a wreck myself but i am so so scared to lose her #still havent even been able to book a psych appointment n i rlly dont know where to go with all these ..em*tions #Guys i rlly dont understand one thing. how come one random freak whos in ur life at some point can derail a whole person like eons later #jeopardise their whole future just by crossing some lines for funz i really dont understand this #not fair not fair at all this is evil #and becasue u got unlucky someone wanted to be disgusting u have to carry the consequences #i rly still cant even say it i still cant even write it #i dont even know how . irl the only perosn i told in some capacity #is dealing with her own trauma and i hate that jsut being understanding is not enoughlike #Wow Lmao Its just Funny How it Shapes You. & U Can Never bury it forever becuz it will always catch up to you😂😂😂😂😂😂 #AND THE PAST CAN NEVER BE ERASED 😃😃😁😁😂😂😂🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔪🔪 #at least my gf has been taking steps to deal with it for.3 yrs and i just never even #LOL i feel like such a coward but the sh*me and the g**lt associated with the Thing..r so overwhelming i cant even admit it #what would i even do at the psych appointment like straight up what am i gonna say Lol #hai iam here to process something i dont actually remember probably becasue i was a child but imnot sure. n id rather #kms than tell u how i know 😂. So thats also why my heart breaks. for that little girl who was a ball of shame i guess and no matter #how much i cognitively.like rationally know its not my fault the ball of shame n guilt is still there #n it swallows me every time i vaguely start 2 think about acknowledging the Th*ng #or whatever. And thats just my end of the deal but my gf has it worse genuinely bc she remembers everything n still has to see the freak #n it went on for yrs n her family doesnt know n heres the worst thing hes a beloved family member a sweet boy with struggles of his own #well i hope he walks into traffic for doing what he did to her

[toastsnaffler]

the hr person from the last interview has asked to call me on TEAMS........ im so scared

#not until 2pm so i have like 3.5 hours to be anxious abt it 🥰 but Girl. #I wish she'd said straight up in the email why she wanted to call bc it seems like a lot for a rejection call. but also surely if- #it was a possible offer to discuss she would mention that in the email.....Man #also if its a rejection id rather just have an email or a phone call w feedback bc it feels kind of mean for them to watch me react #not that i would react on call i think id be pretty neutral abt it but like. auuurghhh #also she didnt contact me until 6:30pm yesterday i think if it was an offer i wouldve heard abt it earlier in the day #what is going ooooonnn............ #im not getting my hopes up either way. maybe she wants to put me forward elsewhere again or theyre offering voluntary experience or smth #no point thinking abt it too much we'll see what happens.. #.diaries