#but i love this cosplay alot and wanted to show it off a bit

[vex-leth]

Some Keyleth cosplay photos my friend took of me on Halloween, that I wanted to share <3

#usually dont post stuff of me on here #but i love this cosplay alot and wanted to show it off a bit #rosey rambles #critical role #keyleth #keyleth of the air ashari #the legend of vox machina #tlovm #vox machina #keyleth cosplay

[aleeyenn]

Hello aleeyenn! I'm the anon who requested and sent that message!

I had to make a whole account because I wanted to show you an image, but anons aren't allowed to do that, so I had to rewrite everything, so my apologies!

Also, my apologize if this is simply weird in general, I dunno if I should stick to Tumblr (since you did, you're the least active here) >.<

But I wanted to say, I'm incredibly happy and honored that my message meant so much to you! I'm really honored and soo hyped because you and your work really mean so much to me, as in your one of my biggest inspirations, so I was so excited to read that!! Thank you! Please keep drawing and creating. (Also, have you considered making full body refs for your gijinkas :o?)

I did want to gush and say why I love your Pin (and all your other gijinkas) and felt really seen. It's because of how unique and out of box the designs are that you rarely see with other designs, while still capturing the same personalities and aesthetic (and even shape sometimes) of the original characters.

But to be specific, thank you for making her super feminine and pretty, while keeping her punk side!!! >u<

Alot of other gijinkas design her in typical biker / rebel chick get up w/ a lot of metal spikes, which dose makes sense, because of her metal part on the top of her (and fits her tough leader role personality wise) a lot of also make her body type in an hourglass, which also makes since, since Irl pins are in those shapes.

But what I really appreciate about your design is that you went in the opposite direction! I love how you made Pin wear these big poofy clothes and aprons! It's not only an easy and unique way to reference the shape of an actual pin, but it highlights a side of her that I don't really see the fandom highlight all that often. Her love of baking, gardening, her being bit of caretaker and just an friendly and easy-going person. I also just love seeing blk and poc women just being so happy and being femmine, it's so rare to see that and makes me so happy.

But another small design choice that I can't over and that made me go over on the edge on the "omg she's literally me" train. Are her punk boots! I know it's there to show off how big and tall she is compared to her meow, but I really like the contrast! And still showing off a little of her and toughie side, that she doesn't mind getting dirty. I love you can show off that is a caring and soft person yet still commanding woman by just a design!

This means so much to me, because I didn't think I could consider myself part of the alt community, due to me being really femmine and plus sized, I thought I didn't really fit, but I think seeing your version of Pin made me realize that being "punk" means so many diffrent things, and I don't really have to be super thing and pale to order to be an part of that culture, and never realizing that I could be considered pretty

Also, I just love how you draw her with your version of Coiny, it's so adorable and again, it's amazing to see a happy plus sized girl being loved and adore by a guy, not be treated as joke., thank you so much

Thats all! My apologizes for going on lesbian and analytical mode on your inbox, I'm deeply sorry if I come across as weird, you probability were not thinking that hard or deep with your designs, but I just really admire of how all of them are breath of fresh air, I have known a specific person that looks exactly like one of designs in my family when I think about it!

I just want to say before I go, is that this what I specifically want to go out and cosplay as, as it's what totally made me single handedly self-confident that I could be pretty in the alt community when I so low on myself

I love this drawing of Pin so much, you have no ideal it meant so much, I know it's sound silly that a doodle affected me, but seriously, I thought I could never look fit in or look pretty in that aesthetic with my weight, interests, and skin

When I saw this and started really seeing myself in it, literally I went in my head "wow, if your Pin can look so beautiful in that, I guess I can!" and it somehow changed a lot of my perspective of me.

Thank you so much again aleeyenn! I'm currently getting started, thank you for making my entire year just by existing and drawing. Keep doing what you are doing and amazing work, and I hope you have an amazing new year!

I WOULDVE ANSWERED THIS SOONER BUT I WANTED TO MAKE A REF FOR PIN FOR YOU! but GAAAHHHH nobody has ever said anything like that to me before and it MEANS SOOOOO MUCH I CANT EXPRESS IT 😭😭😭 when i make humanizations allllll i want is for them to make people feel represented and confident in themselves and MY DREAM CAME TRUE!!!im like. genuinely so happy that you said all that and really analyzed her because i actually put a lot of thought into some humanizations i make and she was one of them… i feel like with a bunch of pin gjinkas they either make her super feminine or super punk without an in between and i wanted to make an in between because it’s what she needs .. nobody like really acknowledges both parts of her i feel like a lot of everyone sees her as a shy anxious girl or rude and cold person because they focus mostly on pre split bfb and that irks me … because shes really not just an anxious person she is a leader and blah blah blah but i really wanted to push every aspect of her into a humanization to make her recognized as herself instead of someone she’s not … but no more rambling THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR YOUR KIND WORDS AND IM SO HAPPY MY ART MADE YOU FEEL THAT WAY 😢 you are so sweet and i’m literally over the moon that you like her that much and saw so much in her Like my design isn’t just a design it made someone more confident and accepting of themselves THATS SO CRAZY! thank you thank you thank you… i hope you enjoy these little drawings i whipped up i need to make more references anyway so this was a good head start… THANK HOUUUU and remember there’s nothing more powerful than embracing and being yourself and never stop doing that! YAYYYYY!

#tpot pin #ALSO THAT DRAWING…. ITS OLD ENOUGH TO BE EMBARRASSING #i remember making it i wanted to draw pin in an alt-ish outfit so i went on tt to look for one #i need to redraw it someday

[newtthetranswriter]

Hi ! How are you ?

I'd love a match up with jjk , demon slayer and Tokyo revengers boys !

Im an ambivert on introvert side, at first im pretty shy and don't know how to talk but Very affectionative. Might not show it at first but will do and will get attached after getting to knowing you I have , im an Intp Im air-headed individual who seems to constantly wander off in thought , daydreaming and is unable to focus on anything but I think logically not emotionally, im very kind and will not hesitate to help with anything , im also really loyal and respectful towards my friends ! Im an easy going person and im chill with everything I sometimes talk with sarcasm and I don't really get people emotions but I can be really observant about little details and I love complimenting people and make their day better people say that I have very childish demeanor , I will protect my friends and will take a beating for them I tend to overthink alot if im making someone uncomfortable and other things and sometimes it lead me to mental breakdowns but I don't really show it

People always say that I'm a beauty and can be a model and I have a sweet voice, I have really good taste in fashion and always wear whatever makes me happy, I really like anime, Cosplay, books , cats , cooking, horror movies , playing video games and traveling

A/N: Hello, I hope you are having a great day. Sorry this took so long, I had covid and then I couldn’t get myself to write anything. Anyway I hope you enjoy and remember to hydrate or diedrate

Jujutsu Kaisen: Yuta Okkotsu

You balance each other out quite a bit

While Yuta thinks and acts with his emotions most of the time you are there to be a voice of reason

Both of you can be found just sitting together while both lost in separate day dreams and trust me the others like to make fun of you for it (Cough toge)

Yuta is extremely good with emotions in the sense that if he thinks you’re pulling back because of worry of being too much, he will do his best to reassure you that everything is fine

Expect many compliments and if you return any he will break, this boy does not know how to handle that

Yuta also enjoys just relaxing with you watching anime or playing games

Just a peaceful relationship consisting of compliments and the occasional pestering from a certain curse speech user

Demon Slayer: Kyojuro Rengoku

He may be very loud and outgoing but he needs someone who will help him relax on his few days off

Pull this man inside and make him take a break while you read a story to him

You may be more introverted but remember Rengoku will want to show you off to the other Hashira so be prepared for that

He will be giving you compliment after compliment and even if he hears people praise his fighting if you respond to a compliment with some along the lines of ‘you’re beautiful too’ he short circuits and can’t think

Don’t worry about being to much for this ball of fire cause he enjoys that you have child like side, it makes it easier to just have fun

The wonder in his eyes when he gets home from a long mission just to see you sitting in the sun off in a daydream, is just magical. He loves that you are so relaxed and carefree that you can let the world slip away for just an instant, so he won’t interrupt you, just quietly sit next to you and ask what you were thinking about when you finally notice he joined you

Tokyo Revengers: Keisuke Baji

This dude thinks exclusively with his fists so having some logical thinking would be good for him

Please for the love of toman do not let this idiot light shit on fire just because he’s hungry, make sure he only commits arson because it’s fun and not out of him being hangry

Anyway being with Keisuke means hanging out with Chifuyu alot, so congrats you get to be the brains for two idiots, just kidding it means you get two nerds to talk with when they aren’t out fighting

Expect to be dragged out to Toman meetings just so he can show off that he got such a beautiful partner, (bonus points if you flip the script and start bragging to the gang about how you got such a handsome boyfriend)

Many dates consisting of yakisoba and anime or horror movie marathons

#x reader #jjk x reader #tokyo revengers x reader #jujustsu kaisen x reader #demon slayer x reader #matchups

[l-herz]

Ive already made a post about Critical Role being in Marquet and how they should avoid Orientalism and Racism and offensive sterotypes to the cultures being adapted... However it seems like an over sight for me to not have mentioned the fandom. Which even before the campaign starts is already worrying me.

-seen alot of people telling me that awful sterotypes are inevitable for my culture so I should just stfu

-that its "Matt's world" so he can do what he wants including appropriation of other culture cause "its not real". Completly ignoring that its based off of REAL cultures and people (specificlly poc)

-seen edits with horrible American media set in the middle east that villianizes us, show us as under-developed, highly sexualised and dehumanise us (like the "joke" in Indiana Jones of an Arab swordsman looking like an idiot swinging his sword the getting shot and murdered, Jasmine being sexualised in original Aladdin and every Arab and muslim coded character portrayed as a savage, a clip of white people saying camels are gross, Persian war clips, the whole "spice" bit with such edits. Etc.)

-worried about whitewashing in art or orientalism. Like how some people drew the Ruby of The Sea as a belly dancer cause she's a sex worker without even Marquet being the setting

-about brown/yellow face and cultural appropriation in cosplay

-im not very happy with the official Marquet sound track. Using arabic instruments but obviously not made by an arabic person in a very sterotyped way unlike actual music from the culture. And im worried about fan music too

Im going to try my very best to enjoy the campaign and stay surrounded by good poeple in the fandom. Ive had some genuinly very lovely and nice people respond to my concerns that made me feel even more hopeful ❤️

But unfortunatly many have prenteded to put on kind faces but have very racist undertones speaking to me in a condescending way about how im somehow "wrong in my opinion" to not want racism and orientalism from cr or the fandom

#Critical role #Orientalism tw #Orientalism #critical role campaign 3 #Marquet #Still hoping for the best but omg #If the shoe doesnt fit dont wear it btw. Im not targeting you in the post if youre not one of the people ive mentioned #If you’re worried youre in the post then youre probably not it cause you care #Cr3

[rogue-durin-16]

MATCHUP FOR:

Anon

I'm usually she/her but to be fair idrc, and bi! I'm 5'7, red hair and got a decent bit of curves on me. I speak 3 languages (swedish (I'm from sweden), english and french + learning spanish and arabic) and I'm studying peacemaking and peacekeeping to eventually go into diplomacy! I overwork myself ALOT which is both my biggest strenght and fatal flaw lmao, and I can also have the tendency to be a bit socially avoidant and dismissive. But on the positive side I'm quite clever and I'm good and handling conflicts. Since I'm usually so serious and put together, when I do let loose I really let lose and bc of this I usually hang out with people who do the same. My number one hobby is nerdy stuff like cosplay and dnd, and I really love taking walks and hiking! I'm an intj, a slytherin, a Sagittarius and my biggest pet peeve is when people walk too slowly. I'm insecure about a LOT lmao but I'm really good at hiding it so unless someone is real close to me they wouldn't know.

From Band Of Brothers I Ship You With:

Lewis "Nix" Nixon III

Ship dynamic:

Complementaries™

(aka Workaholic x Free Spirit™)

Quote:

«Love seeks a complement, not an opposite. My dear, you and I don't clash; we become whole.»

My, oh my, would you look at that? we had a Nixon coming in already; now we have a Winters.

It's only fitting to pair you with the one and only king of deadpan sarcasm, chaotic mess, Lewis Nixon.

Let's start with the fact that INTJs and ENTPs have a history of clicking, so I'm getting instant chemistry from the two of you.

Same thing goes for Libras and Sagittarius.

You give me high up the ranks vibes, so an officer + probably S-2/S-3. When Nixon is transferred and promoted to intelligence officer, he sees you and automatically knows he'll get along with you.

He's not wrong, he just doesn't know how much you two will get along ;).

He hopes for it though, because he thinks you're the sexiest person he's ever met and it'd be lovely to be more than friends.

Muttering things in french to each other whenever you want to avoid eavesdropping.

Learning languages together.

You keep this easygoing bitch focused on his job; Nix pulls you out of your workaholic nature in return.

He loves to get you to loosen up, mind you. Honey, you two are wild, I'm not even getting into it, just know that everyone would want to hang out with the two of you, even if just for the show.

Bitterly bitching about slow walkers to Nixon, and him being so amused by it and matching your energy because if he can talk shit, he will.

Cue an excerpt from a conversation that I know had place between the two of you several times:

Lew: [spares you a look] my God, you're late.

You: [violently slams paperwork on the desk] YOU KNOW WHY I'M LATE?

Lew: [smirks without looking up from his own paperwork] Some slow walking bitch?

You: SOME SLOW WALKING BITCH!

Lew: [feigns indignation] you're not even that fast!

You: [plops down on the chair] RIGHT? I'M NOT EVEN THAT FAST!

Lew: slow motherfuckers need to pick up the pace.

You: INDEED.

You being the Official Diplomat™ of the Regiment and Lew being always in the background ready to step in as an extra hand if the boys start to go a bit too crazy.

Big Tired Wine Aunt And Uncle energy.

I can easily picture you working in your desk, pulling an all nighter, and Nix coming into your office, throwing himself on a chair and keeping your company all night long.

He's definitely drinking.

He's definitely distracting you from time to time.

And he's definitely falling asleep like 30 minutes before you finish.

Lew making sure you don't become socially avoidant and making you leave the workplace more than you'd like to. It's for your own good.

Fun dates and classy dates. Sometimes the both of them combined.

You drag Nixon out for hiking and he'll put up with it because he loves you but don't push it or he'll throw you off a cliff.

Lew laughs at the cosplay thing at first— until you dare him to do one with you.

THE AMOUNT OF DEDICATION AND THOUGHTFULNESS HE PUTS IN THE COSPLAY I SWEAR. Go big or go home.

He ends up liking it but will never admit it. He's unironically into dnd, I said what I said. You two have the best time with this.

Winters being eternally grateful that Nix found you because damn do you keep the boy grounded but like, just the right amount.

But babe this goes both ways (like you and probably Nixon too tbh), Lew takes care of you in all the right ways. He sees through you and KNOWS you're insecure, but instead of pointing it out he just reassures you and reminds you how capable you are in the most nonchalant way possible.

Also, may I add that you two are my literal parents? Like, I'm an odd mixture of the two of you which can be very funny or awfully bad.

#I'm your problem child lmao #band of brothers i ship you with #band of brothers matchup #lewis nixon

[thelemoncoffee]

An au where the characters swap personalities, but not completely; they keep some part of them from their original personality as well as keeping their own talents. Like- a 80% personality swap

This is a fairly old Au that I did a shit job at describing when i made it, but I had the doc with what i wrote on it, so I just copy-pasted what was on there. I had no clue how to rewrite this in a way that made more sense

I'm sorry- this is all over the place- here's the swaps

[Kokichi - Shuichi]

Kokichi is basically an emo leader who has bad anxiety issues and doesn't fully believe in himself. He's still hyperactive and childish, but does get serious when the time calls for it. He tends to use his childish nature as a coping mechanism for his anxiety, trying to play his worries away.

Shuichi is a confusing, theatrical liar of a detective; tending to make himself seem alot bigger and better than he is. He's shy but due to his evil theatrics he comes off as eerily quiet at times, as a result people get really anxious near him. he finds it kinda funny that people are scared of him, considering he's completely harmless and just wants to pull pranks

[Kaito - Maki]

While Maki's tamer, she's got some serious determination and spunk, and because she's still an assassin, she's more dangerous when you piss her off than Kaito ever was. She tends to protect her sidekicks (Kaito and Kokichi) with her talent rather than feel bad about having it 

Kaito's serious and spits out threats alot, often coming off as snarky in arguments, but the worst harm he can do is basic hand to hand fighting he learned for self defence. Just because he's not as dangerous as Maki, doesn't mean he hasn't tried to kick shuichi's ass a few times for some of his stunts

[Rantaro - Miu]

normal Miu and Rantaro; everyone knows that Miu is a slut, and everyone thinks despite what he says that Rantaro is a fuckboy

Now it's reversed, now we know Rantaro is a fuckboy, and everyone thinks that Miu is a slut despite her not actually being one. Rantaro is a fucking massive bi flirt (male leaning), and Miu is just trying to work on her inventions in some sort of peace

[Tenko - Himiko]

Tenko is a great Akido Master as always, but, she's lazy as fuck, and lounges around more than practices her skill. She tends to run out of energy quickly, making up excuses to not do much such as "i need to save my energy for fighting". She still hates boys, but she isn't as vicious about it, just voices that she wants them to keep their distance

Himiko is high strung and tends to make a fool of herself as a result, she tries to bring magic into everything. She herself doesn't believe her magic is real, but tells kids it is to make it that much better for them. She saw how lacking in spunk Tenko was, and decided to try and get her to be more assertive and active, making herself Tenko's bodyguard despite her not needing it. Himiko is usually the one to snap at boys for getting too close to her, Tenko tries to stop her but it usually doesn't work

[Kirumi - Angie]

While ever the loyal maid, abiding by directions, Kirumi is more laid back than a usual maid. She tends to enjoy herself as she serves, joking around with everyone both in and out of work. Although she can get a bit too ahead of herself at times, stumbling off track, she acknowledges when she gets too much, and reels herself in before it's too late

Cold and analytical, Angie is; while her mind is buzzing with beautiful creative thoughts, she nearly never shows it, preferring to keep her voice down and her aura calm. Being more so spiritual than religious, she wants to have a relaxed and peaceful aura, believing it helps her create better quality art if she isn't buzzing with energy as much on the exterior as she is on the interior

[Gonta - Ryoma]

Gonta's a pretty terrifying guy, he's buff, looks mean, has gone to prison and back, but he isn't all that bad. While he's become a jaded hull of who was once a happy guy, he's alot more peaceful since he returned from jail. He spends his time studying the one thing that seems to always bring his mood up, bugs; they fascinate him, a beautiful distraction from his own internal woes.

Ryoma on the other hand, is alot of sunshine packed into a pint sized man. He tends to enjoy the world around him alot more than most; eyes sparkling at the shiny things, and his odd amount of energy being poured into either playing tennis, or trying to get up onto something so he can see whatever snagged his attention this time better. 

[Tsumugi- Kiibo]

Tsumugi's very overzealous about her talent, wanting desperately for Cosplay to become a much more mainstream artform, and pushing for it to be so. She claims often that it isn't just a hobby, and more so a lifestyle, going off on people who such as hum poorly of cosplay for one second. She wants to be seen as an equal to tailors, and fashionistas, rather than a member of a lowly halloween knock off kink. 

Kiibo's…. A dork- to say the least. He loves humans and has found himself hyper fixated on them to an unhealthy extent: often using his views on their greatness to degrade himself, saying things along the lines of "i'm just a plain old robot, I'm nothing compared to people". He tries to behave more human-like to make up for his lack of flesh, getting into the internet culture and practically becoming a meme parrot; trust me, if you don't know memes, half the stuff he says will not make sense.

[Korekiyo - Kaede]

Korekiyo's a pretty confident guy, often finding himself proud of the work he does; he likes to encourage others to do their best, but his odd addiction to learning about human habits leaves people's personal space feeling a tad invaded.

Kaede on the other hand, is a whole 'nother bag of what the fuck; her eerie demeanor often throws people off, considering at first glance she doesn't look all that weird. She considers the dark and twisted beautiful, and takes pride in her ability to offset people with her array of dark and haunting songs she knows how to play by heart. 

They do have different designs, but I never actually finished the design descriptions, nor did I save them to the doc. The only things I remembered were shuichi weards his hat backwards, kokichi has emo bangs, Kaito keeps his hair down, and Kaede wears a really pretty black dress that fades to a deep pink at the bottom.

#danganronpa #danganronpa v3 #ndrv3 #all characters #too lazy to tag everyone #au prompt #au idea #au #personality swap au #kai prompts

[minruko]

Hello, may I get a matchup for black clover, bnha, and Dr.Stone please?

I pick fire!

Age: 22 so nobody underage please.

Gender and pronouns: Female, she/her and I prefer men.

Physical appearance: 5’2. Short, curly, dyed-Strawberry blonde with brown eyes. I have a baby face and dimples. Small chest with a bit of tummy. I wear mostly jeans, boots, and sweaters. I always wear a insulin pump on my hip because of my type 1 diabetes.

Love Language: It’s a actually a tie of physical touch and quality time! I love the idea of cuddling in bed with my partner as we exchange kisses. As for my giving love language, I do acts of service because I want to do both be a strong partner for them and do little things to ease their mind.

Personality: I’m a INFP Libra with a 9w1 enneagram. I’m a very spacey and forgetful individual who tends to stay more indoors but tries to welcome new experiences outside. I’m a nice person though as I usually get on the good side of everyone I meet. Although because Of this, people have this tendency to think that I don’t get angry. Which if I find a situation to be unjust/disrespectful , someone does/says anything to hurt my loved ones, or I just snap then the offending party learns pretty quickly how mean I can be. I’m the kind of person who remains quite until I become close with someone then I’m free to be a dork. Building relationships with others isn’t something I pursue unless it occurs naturally. When it comes to my health, I have diabetes so sometimes I view myself as limited and weak even when that is not the true. I sometimes worry that I’m too much for people when it comes to my passions. I second guess myself alot too but I usually push that aside and dive into whatever my choice was. I’ve also been described as generous,childish, excitable, playful, mischievous, stubborn, and imaginative. I may not know how bad situations can get but I always try to bring comfort to other people. Plus I want to improve my health by getting physically fit.

Likes: Drawing, painting, wood burning, designing costumes, walking, animals, soft blankets, notebooks, the smell of home baked food and a campfire , the supernatural, true crime, thrillers, animated movies, cosplay, anime/cartoons, sweets, working in archives, libraries, friends, and family.

Dislikes: Rude disrespectful people, loud noises like fireworks, my personal space being invaded, narcissists. People who don’t value others.

thank you for participating! matchup below the cut!

DR STONE

i match you with hyoga! he loves holding you and pressing soft kisses on you stomach! sometimes you help him train by getting his gear in order or even cleaning his spear, he is very thankful when you do so. as far as your stubborn nature goes he enjoys it he likes how you won't easily back down but he avoids fights with you for this reason. he would help you get physically fit if you asked to train with him he's not going easy on you though!

BLACK CLOVER

i match you with yami! he loves taking naps with you on his rare off days and wrapping his arms on your stomach pressing soft kisses to your neck, he takes you to places with beautiful landscapes for you to draw he even buys you a new notebook if you need one. during any kind of loud festival he covers your ears to help ease your dislike for loud noises kissing your temple softly letting you know that you're leaving soon.

MHA

i match you with fatgum! he often makes sweets so he could bulk up when needed and you love the smell of it, sometimes you steal a few for yourself. the two of you watch true crime shows together while cuddling on the couch while you both give your best guesses on who you think did the crime.

#black clover matchup #dr stone matchup #mha matchup #bnha matchup #mini.event

[derekgoffard]

If you are comfortable with it ( and ONLY if you're comfortable DO NOT do anything you DON'T want to do) but 😶 can we get nsfw alphabet for Colin maybe????? Mayhaps

(Again if you're not comfy DELETE THIS ASK no one will know 🤫)

UHAUHS Thank u for ur ask aguuhs!! This was such a nice way to word this I'm- 🥺🥺 thank u for being so nice about this ask this is honestly so sweet 🥺😭😭😭❤️❤️

ALSO Im very very un-practiced in writing nsft stuff so this is more jot notes then atcual writing lol,, ( nsft under cut , tw drugging ) Gvvyvh gghh

NSFW Alphabet:

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Hes pretty good!, if he's not too exhausted himself he'll run around his apartment grabbing blankets and pillows for his partner lol! He'd ideally love to cuddle up with them after sex and watch a movie or smth but he will do whatever they want generally lol, he probably doesn't wanna leave them alone tho- hes real clingy afterwards 😔

B = Body Part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He will tell them their hands if they ask BUT THATS A LIE LOL his favorite area of their body is probably their waist lol,,,,( if his partner has breasts it might be them too😤) his favorite part about himself is probably his hands; hes not a suppper confident guy but he likes how his hands are shaped and he loves how his fake nails give his fingers a longer look lol.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Very average, probably cums a little less then most people LOLGYD

D = Dirty Secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

HE SECRETLY WANTS TO SLIP THEM AN APHRODISIAC OR SMTH H H H HH he would never do that ESPECIALLY if he's built an atcually genuine relationship with them BUT. The idea just gets him goin vvf hhh he also probably would want to record it too, like one of those pov blowjob kinda things HHHHHH vhubbu

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

HES A VIRGIN 😭😭😭😭😭 hes had alot of practice on toys and he's watched alot of porn but with irl experience,,,he got none 😔

F = Favorite Position (this goes without saying)

Ye old doggy style and pretzel dip... He'd prefer to be on top but he's a true switch at heart,, he's also into cowgirl ( bottom ) if his partner is smaller and cowgirl (top) if his partner is bigger/has a dick/strap on

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He's not serious at all lol! He might get kinda ? Creepy tho?? As in he might go real quiet and feel them up a bit but in general he's super nervous abt it so he appreciates a partner who makes light of the whole thing! It'll make him feel better 🥺

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He trims often!, He has a tuff of hair down there but in general he's pretty well groomed, he would never have the balls to try and bleach anywhere near his dick so it's his og hair color ( brown )

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He can get pretty intimate/romantic if his partner is! For him to even have sex he would probably need a good relationship with his partner; he's been lonely for so long and for him to finally have someone who he can be romantic with makes him very emotional lol!! If he gets romantic during sex he'll go really slow and probably would want to hold their hand during it lol

J = Jack Off (masturbation headcanon)

Jacks off a moderate amount; at least once a day;....he watches alot of hentai and cosplay pornos,, he also reads alot of smut lol

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He's pretty kinky in general but his big ones are cosplay , bondage and overstimulation 😔😔😔 ideally he would like to do them all at the same time LOL. he's really into overstimulation with toys in particular 😡😔 he definitely has a thing for leaving his partner tied up the whole day on a vibrator while their in some skimpy outfit or smth hvqvyq H H😔😔 when he gets back he might wanna take a picture of them all exhausted to jerk off to later ygyvvggggg 😔😔😔😔😞😞😞

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Da bedroom..., he's pretty nervous and insecure abt this kinda stuff ( especially in the beginning) so he'd feel best somewhere secure and private; ...he's secretly got a thing for a blowjob in a public area or smth tho lol

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Colin is a simple man at heart; skimpy/sexy outfits turn him on alot, especially if it's smth he made/picked out for them 😞 showing sexual interest in him will turn him on too, aka just flirt with him LOL

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

degradation of any kind; he might be able to degrade someone if they asked for it but in no circumstances will he ever want that for himself lol,, it completely shuts him down

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

FFFFFF HAS A THING FOR FACE FUCKING LOL he would give his right arm for someone to give him oral 😭 it's a super big turn on for him and he probably fantasizes abt it alot😔 I imagine him being really into trying to give oral too; his braces will probably fuck it up alot tho 😔😔

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

His pace really depends on his mood lol; if he's feeling romantic he'll go slower and won't use any toys or anything; however 90% of the time he's gonna spend most of the duration on foreplay which gets him all riled up so when he atcually stars da fuckin he'll be pretty pent up and desperate about it😔 so on average he's going pretty fast hhh

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Likes them in concept but not in practice; he fantasizes alot about a quickie some public space like a bathroom or smth but in reality he could never do smth like that HA😔

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He doesn't take any TRUE risks, he's open to try basically anything but he won't do anything where someone could catch them in the act

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He can last for a while! He has a bit more stamina then an average person I'd say, however he crashes hard after pushing himself that far lol,,

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

HAS A LOT OF TOYS LOL, he has at least one of any toy that's on the market basically LOL😭😭, he bought them all in the cutest colors they were available in so they still fit his asthetic lol; at first he only bought a few ones for himself but owning so many made him feel really cool so he just kept going LOL

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Likes to tease alot; really into the whole bondage, vibrator torture, orgasm denial thing lol,,,hes not really into being teased himself tho😠 ( he is selfish 😠😠😠)

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He's atcually pretty quiet! He yelps a bit mabye ;

W = Wild Card (a random headcanon for the character)

He can space off sometimes during sex and will start doing weird creepy shit lol, (especially if their wearing an outfit) he might start drawing his fingers up their chest or leg or smth 🤮😔

X = X-Ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

It's a bit skinny but it's average! About 5.2in

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He can be flustered/turned on pretty easily but with no influence his sex drive is on the higher side;

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

That depends on how far he exerted himself ; if he didint go too far he'll have a good amount of energy left, but if he really exerted himself he will be sleeping before his head hits the pillow LOL

#nsft #I FEEL SO SHY ABT POSTING THIS LOL AGAIN- LIKE IM NOT IN THE BTD COMMUNITY LOL WHVHSHB #i have absolutely no writing ability rip lol jbsbu #tw drugging mention #kinda?? #lol ..... #uhshsuh #THANK U AGAIN FOR UR ASK JBSBJSJB #colin #oc stuff #ask #colin midland

[obeymematches]

Hello! May I request for a matchup?

I am a bisexual, Demigirl ENFP-T personality type.

I'd say I'm somewhat independent but would love to have someone by my side to happily live with, I find trust as something that is very important and due to past reasons it can be difficult to earn my full trust. I try to always be a reasonable and mature person, but I can get irritated at a few things (like LGBTQ+ discrimination, racism or plain asshole stupidity) that can tick off a temper, but usually I'm a person of patience, though if I do get really angry then I'm gonna also end up having a mental breakdown later -. I'm fine with waiting and am usually very forgiving. Religiously I'm an atheist, technically ex-christian due to family reasons. I come from Estonia, so I'm bilingual with English and Estonian but am also learning Russian and German. (Thinking of learning Japanese one day too)

I'm a rather fidgety person, fingers always have to be doing something, I can also have rather terrible memory sometimes with things and can forget.

I have low self confidence and self worth, usually struggle to be optimistic and can be rather emotional, also often an absolute empath when it comes to fictional characters for example.

I can be a workaholic and can be terrible at taking care of myself, I easily lose track of time and can forget to eat at times, also have a fuzzy appetite so sometimes I might not want to eat anything at all. I care alot about other people's well being though, for me appearance doesn't matter, I care for the personality and think everyone is beautiful in their own way. I am a short chubby brunette with a boy haircut and brown eyes, my hair is often thick and poofy and sometimes hell to take care of, due to some health reasons I have an itchy scalp and have to often scratch my head. My fashion depends on just if the clothes are comfortable to wear in the moment, that's it. I wear glasses due to a bit of a negative in my sight.

I sometimes struggle to have a balanced sleep schedule and am often stressed.

I hold a strong love for animals and the nature around us. I especially love cats and reptiles and own a cat and a leopard gecko who I would die for.

Fiction is an important part of my life, the moment I get interested in in some show or franchise you can expect me to become an absolute nerd for it, (good example is Pokemon.) I am the type to analyze characters and really care about everything. Books, shows, movies, theatre, anything goes. I really also love music, 60% of the time you can find me listening to music somewhere, maybe even singing, I multitask alot too. My music taste depends on what connections I make to fictional media, especially that of my own, aka stories and characters I've created. My mind is always going like a 1000km/h with all types of thoughts, my own fictional universe only keeps expanding which I wish to share with the world. My dream is to become a writer one day, which I'm very passionate about, and another thing I really want to do one day is travel the world. I also do some art and animation, but intend to keep it as a hobby on the side.

I'm an ambivert, shy and hesitant around new people especially those of higher authority and importance, but incredibly outgoing with the people I'm familiar and comfortable with, never getting tired from them. Affection starved, expect lots of hugs, not that much into PDA tho. For me first impression matter, on my part, I am quick to think that people hate me or are annoyed with me.

Even with my fuzzy appetite I do like food, especially of strong flavour, I tend to seem to like asian or Italian food alot. I'd say I'm decent and cooking but not very good at baking.

Minimalistic, not very demanding when it comes to anything, it's basically like "Better than nothing." would be the type to live in a rather small house one day. Somewhat organized in my own way, sometimes I can act a little OCD though when something is out of place in a manner that it's just - no.

I can be rather talkative, when getting in a conversation with me expect to talk for hours about all types of things, wherever the conversation goes. Even better when it's over a cup of tea or a long walk somewhere outside.

I usually try to be as polite and kind as possible, though I sometimes struggle, I always try to have hope for the world, despite my incredibly pessimistic mindset.

For a partner, I look for someone I can geniuenly be happy and comfortable with, someone I can be open with and not worry about being lied to. I would be incredibly loyal to them and I'd hope them to be as well, of course, I don't get jealous or worked up if they're hanging out with friends. I want them to also be happy, someone I feel like I could spend the rest of my life with. Someone who'd be okay with traveling and seeing the world with, someone I can just have a moment to relax with, sometimes just talk and listen to eachother. Like stated before the appearance for me doesn't matter, it's the personality- what's inside that does. I shall note, the harmless teasing can get to me. Someone who's a geniuenly good person despite whatever flaws they might have.

I hope this is long enough ^^

Hi my dear patient anon! 

guess what time it is!✨

i put a read more because it’s one long post! 

OK so as I read through your request I had Levi, Belphie, Beel and Satan on my mind. Though Belphie is out of the picture fast since you have low self-esteem and if anyone then he probably would take advantage of that. Satan too I think. (I know in general he is viewed as an overall good boy but i feel like he might scare someone with low confidence levels when he is at his worst. also he can be manipulative too if there is a situation)

wait- damn- Simeon also exists (also Mammon? though with him and you it’d be a very rough start)

so after some elimination and comparison between dynamics including Simeon, Levi and Beel I decided to match you with Levi but I highly encourage befriending the other two!  ✨ Simeon because of the similar interests + excellent cooking and Beel because he is a mom-friend + you’d always have something to eat too if he is your friend! 

phew it wasn’t an easy decision but here it is! 

Okay so let’s see Levi

Okay first things first I think we need to change your level of confidence my friend. Which means starting off this relationship as friendship - honestly he is on the same page as you regarding this for similar reasons so you two can relate to the other. But once you gain a healthy amount of sense of self-worth + confidence I think this friendship could develop into a very loving and healthy relationship! 

Just because he is a demon I don’t think he would use you, lie to you, manipulate you or anything similar to that. I mean you have similar interests and in canon Levi shows just the bare minimum of interest to someone whose lifestyle + likes aren’t similar to his. Also you’re his only friend besides Henry so why would he treat you bad I mean come on!!! he’s not stupid!! 

Since your relationship is based on being friends trust will come in time, do not worry! Levi is also picky when it comes to ppl so again as you are in the same boat you understand the other deeply. 

I mean Levi can be serious when the situation calls for it but in general you being with him would give you a nice balance with your maturity. He’s not childish but he has different approaches! Meaning he could learn from you but you could also learn from him! 

Tbh i highly doubt he would ever tick you off either or purpose or not. He is mostly annoyed by stupid ppl (like Mammon) and normies but since you are also into anime you’re safe!  

You having an interest in languages is something he will find fun! if i recall in the devildom there’s only one language? (they speak human for you though) so finding out about human world lore like that through you is going to be fun! also pls learn Japanese with him! (pretty sure he already knows so he could help you practice)

Okay so he can also spiral down due to lack of self-worth + self-love but as his friend you’re not supposed to let that happen!! 

well he also tends to forget about himself but on a side note he is very caring about you and your health so he is faster at taking care of you than himself. That’s why you have to look after the other especially at first when both of your self-worth levels are so low. 

pls tell him he is beautiful he will be flustered for the rest of the day but it’s worth it trust me

he absolutely finds glasses cute af he just has to look at you and !!!  

He’s not big into fashion either, though he would love to cosplay with you so hopefully you are ok with wearing cosplay sometimes!

Also your workaholic tendencies might get to him sometimes? like i’m not saying he is lazy but for sure he could do better. Thanks to your influence he will do better! 

the two of you gushing over fictional characters is just so cute;; think about that!! 

ok he is your #1 supporter of becoming a writer!! pls let him be your beta reader aaaaa

well both of you are passionate so the emount of encouragement happening in this relationship is to die for

him being a shut-in means he’s not very big on traveling, but if he could go with you he’s quick to change his mind! 

he also has trouble balancing a healthy sleep schedule but that just means you two can spend more time together so it’s a win-win situation

pls leave your cat with Satan when you visit Levi’s room because of Henry :( your gecko is more than welcome though!!! 

okay he is also affection starved af but he would never initiate to save his life so here you being an ambivert is helpful!! also it leaves you space to tease him which is always fun! 

regarding food you have a nice balance going on, he is more of a baker and you are the opposite! though cooking/baking with the other is always fun!! when he notices your lack of eating he will make sure to order/bake delicious food from the human world for you! 

well he isn’t the messiest so hopefully your OCd wouldn’t kick in when you spend time in his room. I like to HC that he is actually very clean. If anything is out of place in his room it is because it was meant to be there. Or he was in a hurry. 

about long walks outside you’d probably have to nag him a bit but soon he will realize that it’s actually not so bad.

bby is one of the most loyal demons out there so no worries you’re safe!! however he can be jealous easily so it’s nice that you are also loyal! just make sure to clear boundaries before establishing a relationship! 

he’s not one to tease you but he is very into you teasing him, so that’s that

overall i don’t think this relationship would have huge conflicts - sure, you have to nag him about going out but he is not going to protest once he learns that it’s actually. fun. to go out sometimes. i’m more concerned about the two of you’s self-worth and confidence levels, but again it’s about what you do for growth and it’s not something that can’t be changed if you want to change it. besides these i think it’s a very healthy relationship and you both can be yourselves!  

#obey me #obey me! #obey me swd #obey me levi #obey me leviathan #om! levi #obey me matchup

[yoitscro]

First thought: Homestuck^2 should've just been called Beyond Canon, and more people should call it that. 

The 2 was put on for chuckles; HS trending the day it was announced with it being a sequel spoke enough about how such a thing shant be underestimated, and why Homestuck is ABSOLUTELY more than just our small twitter crowd (and the scrap of us still on tumblr). I say that because remembering the Beyond Canon part slightly reassures me about the fact that this is a fanwork that will do some weird shit, and things I don't agree with, but isn't something that I have to subscribe to enjoying all the way with how I engage with Homestuck.

Homestuck 2 is not the canon continuation. Homestuck 2: Beyond Canon, is an OFFICIAL continuation.

Not having it on such an important stool and as the only content we all are only allowed to digest should come from both people who obsessively dislike it, and people who defensively support it. If a character says they kick babies then I can say, hey that's weird, maybe not great writing, but I can pretend they don't in my content, and i dont have to send threats or call people cishet white men for it! and, it's an absolutely great thing that we were all encouraged to create our own ideas without anyone who's influenced us to do so squinting their eyes when we actually go through with it. Glad I don't have to put this story up to the expectations of being a sequel to a 11 year, worldwide IP that's shooketh the internet landscape since it's merely optional, Death of the Author persists, and ideas aren't just dominated and revolved around the perspective of a 1% in this entire fanbase.

That said.

As an OFFICIAL continuation versus a canon one, HS2 is ok. It certainly has that fanfiction vibe, and a story it wants to tell. I can't really tell what that story is since we have like, 10 sub plots rn though. There's not a real a clear indicator on where the focus of main conflict is that connects all these stories together.

I thought that the prose in replacement of Vriska's battle was jarring, but not teeerribly surprising for the format HS2 is going for. It's more so using drawings to compliment text versus Homestuck's usual of panels being side by side with visual importance, or even itself being the one compliment. It sorta feels weird tho that it brought old fans back in with art just for them to get sneered at when they get a bit upset that there won't be main staples of art known to progress the story forward. 

Also people who mock people for “having to read homestuck” knowing there’s language barriers and struggling focus from those who’ve been use to something that was never so dense, are ridiculous.

Personally this could be solved by knowing how old flashes worked, having way more artists on the team, maybe even an art director if not already, and noting that we're not asking for the next Cascade. Rome wasn't built in a day, but Rose Ride sure was, and Homestuck’s animation is absolutely not the same as a 12-24 framed 12 minute cartoon. That, or just snuff the illustrative art as a whole since it's very clear on where the focus is.

I’m sure you’re not here trying to see my opinions on how the outer workings are though, versus plot.

Uuuuh, let's see. Yiffy's still a name I don't care to use until I eventually get tired of any of my art that do not show up in tags. This is fine and not as offensive as people are saying it is. Minors who want to cosplay this character don't have to call themselves this character. Not wanting to be one letter away from accidentally entering a very NSFW space of twitter is fine. Also the lot of people call Tavros, Tavvy.

I hope Kanaya's anger at being cucked is actually seen versus being implied through fan guesses and another character having to say she was.

Roxy needs to be more of an involved character. Where are they during all this?

Jane should have a mention of her relations to HIC being a main/bad influence on her current parallels to Alternian dictatorship.

The PRE-RETCON GROUP should have a fun one-shot update for fans who like them, since they oughta be around if they fell through the ghost hole. Most of them. The sprites that aren't Jasprosesprite should also show up too, since they're around.

Aaaaaand I think we should be extra careful going into the future when it comes to the alien rebellion. It's weird that a lot of the writers are white and toy around with concepts that can be a not so great parallel to racism. Currently not great timing rn! If the characters are going to remain aracial, but with them still doing not much to reference other non-white earth cultures or getting new hair cuts that have different textures (looking at you, Rose), we shant make the species with actual biological benefits a racism commentary. the xeno joke at least had a play on words. If any writer has happened upon this then a, please don't get mad at me again haha, and b, consider having more black writers or directional assistance on your squad. You know who they are.

In the future. I casually want the ghost from the Dream Bubbles to be shown since it's a big elephant in the room to not have a single one of them in the bg despite a load of them appearing from the ghost whole. Don't gotta give them speaking lines, especially the dancestors. I personally don't know if I want that right now.

I also hope in the future that we don't get HS content that is only going to revolve around HS2, if it's optional enough to engage with without being the only option. That's why PQ could ended a bit better for me, and why I hope it's not the main thing that's keeping Hiveswap on the backburner. I don't think it's farfetched to consider that multiple HS content could come from more than just one team; to relieve work load, but to also strengthen the idea that Homestuck can be a various amount of perspectives when it comes to the ideas fans have. The most dedicated fans leading the direction of the story is not just a handful of them. If anything, at least acknowledge the massive ass fan projects going on once in awhile to showcase the different avenues.

"Hey Cro, you sure have bitched about this alot. Do you have anything good to say? Why don't you stop reading if you hate it so much!"

Not every comment needs to be golden, love. Again, some of these decisions I eck at, but ultimately they're just words on a computer that I'm not holding anyone at gun point to do, and I'm curious to see how the story handles itself going forward, since again, it's just a fanwork. Sometimes I wish to not only see where the plot goes, but to see a writer's craft in action.

Good Things:

The Art. Again, please have more artists. It'd help so much, especially since the main one is also double timing for VE. That said, HS2 sticks out to me because of the way the color composition is used. Aside from hair and other tiny things, I haven't seen black used a lot, which makes colors pop. It's really nice to look at. I hope we get more sharper styles of character in the future, since it builds on nostalgia and makes the trolls feel much less like they're from Repiton, but I can deal with it for the most part. I also like that one panel where the omega kids and vriska are talking in the dark room, and based on where they're standing, the text aligns. Tasty as hell.

Meat and Candy still do hold neat logic in the direction the stories go. Candy, while it could be more tasteless in some areas, is chaotic and too much of a good thing. Meat is having something a little more straightforward, though I'm not sure quite yet where it's going. I always found Candy to be the part of the epilogue that actually entertained me the most, from how much of a surreal Robot Chicken skit at 3am it felt. Sometimes the jokes slapped real nice and made me wonder, going in, how is this monkeys paw gonna play out and, hopefully, make people laugh or smirk like they got a good roast at themself?

The slightly episodic feel of each update is what I wanted from the Epilogues, so it's interesting to see that play out when it comes to switching different perspectives.

The bonus updates get points for featuring characters that a lot of us have been wanting to see for ages.

Hopefully this isn't unpopular, but I think the tension of Yiffy's introduction was nicely composed and written (ignoring some of the things I wish for Jane). It leaves you with enough want to see what'll happen next time. You could also say that despite her growling and making a lot of noise, it's not actually bad writing: I see it as the audience being forced to see her in the same perspective that Jane see's her; a dog. Upon no context we're seeing the same thing while knowing things are obviously off, and once we see this character in a new environment where their personality shines, it'll have a bigger impact her own character being humanized. So I like that.

Okay, I think that's all I got. I improv wrote most of this; hopefully I won't be taken out of context since I don’t think that HS2′s writing should ultimately be a judgement of the writers as people, nor treated as if they should hold the same unhealthy work environment that Andrew forced himself to do when writing the og comic. And I'm still like, donating to the patreon and everything, lol.

[runs away]

edit: i was going to put the cw as another positive thing for the comic...but...yeaaaah.

#hs2 #beyond canon #homestuck 2 // #i ran out of room so i posted this here lol.

[lgalacticjayl]

Homestuck review pt.2 Beta kids

Spolier warning! And i am not finished the series yet so these are inital thoughts stream of consciousness style and just my opinion .

Lets talk about the beta kids!

First off they are portrayed pretty well in the fandom in my opinion. As being kids that kinda just got dragged into this but each taking it very differently. I Love the similarites between them with very wild realtionships with their caregivers is portrayed right off the bat but they are kids so their veiws of their caregivers are probably very different to how they actually act. As John later realizes his dad does have clowns to mock him but to try and make him feel seen.

Speaking of lets talk about John. As he is a kinda stereotypical main charcter kinda feel sometimes he definitely grows and you can see his personality in the things he is passionate about. His movies of course and his love for his friends. He really does subconscious pull the team together almost but really all of them somehow just work really well as a team anyways. John just seems like a very optimistic person and is very willing to accept most things even if he doesn't fully understand, seen in his alternate timeline where he died fighting the denizen and vriska shows him around. He is very ready to treat everyone as a friend no matter what they do. Vriska literally got him killed and he was still understanding that thats what had to happen. He just seems pretty calm in new situations but has his moments of just being a kid and goofy off, creating his pogo hammer, but can get pretty serious when it needs to be, when he wakes up on his sinking bed in the oil ocean was probably the closest he's come to like freaking out completely. He gets done what needs to get done and I respect him alot for that. His is very trusting which I personally don't love the trust he puts in Vriska as her motives are pretty self serving in the beginning. Him and Dave are fun to see interact cuz they've been friends forever and just goof around and make fun of each other but there is still a lot of respect. I do love his sibling relationship with Jade a lot. I just love good sibling representation thats not just fighting iver stupid stuff all the time cuz it reminds me of me and my sister's relationship. Conclusion John is a good boy doing his best.

Speking of Jade lets move on to her. Lovely gal at first I related to her cuz she just kept taking naps as i also can fall alseep literally anywhere. I fell alseep during a final last year for like a ten minute nap then just kept doing the test. I did actually cosplay jade as my first homestuck cosplay but only cuz I already had everything I needed. Anyway jade is a very sweet girl and I see her as very unafraid and willing to do anything almost like john, which is kinda why their dynamic works so well. The best jade moment so far is when she took off all her reminders cuz she felt she was no longer the one who knows all in the group and starts to actually share her feelings. Her yelling at Karkat is so good and like yess Jade! I love the stuffed octopi and would love to try and make them as well. Also her kinda being a furry is very fun. She comes off as very whimsical as she basically knows everything that will and did happen because she's the first to awaken in her dream but later as she doesn't know everything she seems like she's just trying her best to fully grasp this because she realizes that her dreams aren't just silly things but are very important. She also basically raised herself and fends for herself which i very strong and smart for a 13 year old and she kinda has to learn on her own. I also just love the frog aspect of the game and as a space player myself would love to breed frogs.

Now Rose another very powerful character like Jade but still very different. She seems to just soak in knowledge like a human sponge as many people do with things they are interested it. From the beginning Rose has wanted to know everything about this game and diverts in her original plan just to study more. She goes to being the most knowledgeable almost the opposite of Jade and kinda controls some major things from behind the scenes. Like John accidentally picking hammerkind her combining probably her 2 favorite items to make the grimdark needles has significant effect on the story. Her demeanor doesn't seem to change as she is still elegant and not too emotional in her speech but you can tell she got her self into some deep dark stuff like most teens getting into their emo phase but this has a huge impact on ending the game and potentially saving everyone. She feels she is the only one capable to complete the mission and tricks Dave so she can sacrifice herself something a young teen should not have to consider. She also tries to fight Jack at some point even tho she knows he will win. She is very thoughtful and planned out in every situation and I love that.

Now on to some of y'alls favorite Dave. I know a lot of gay/transmac people really conect with dave and as transmac myself i can see why but its hard to explain. Even tho he isn't said to be gay or trans his experience can be tied to a lot of things. He is very stoic all the time and I think he's been conditioned into not showing emotions cuz of Bro and he looks up to Bro as his only family figure. Like he does tey to seem cool with rapping and swords and while he succeeds and i think he does truly enjoy them he also sees them as his only way to be cool. Like for art for me I do enjoy it but I understand that there is also a level of attention i do want from it. Sorry this got a bit personal im realizing im relating to these characters too much. Anyway Dave does seek out reason for his actions and doesn't just intuitively follow them. He is actually smart even tho he has like a dumb boy persona going on but like he has to keep up with all these timelines. He also has a truly terrible moral dilemma when terezi makes him kill him and thats not something ordinary teens should have to go through. That and his grieving period when he finds bro dead are the rare times that he shows his emotions, through actions rather than words. And they are powerful moments. Hes not some emotionless cool guy hes a human child.He also has to literally mentor himself at somepoint and spends the most time in the game through time travel.

This event is traumatic for all of them in very different and similar ways and they all grow and learn so much its way more than I did at 13, It's powerful.

I will probably do the trolls next and some more characters then I would love to get into my thoughts on some specific events

#homestuck #let me tell you about homestuck #beta kids #john egderp #john egbert #jade harley #rose lalonde #dave strider #stream of conscious writing #stream of conscience #stream of thought #homestuck discussion #homestuck review

[cosplayinamerica]

Loki // Cosplayer: Troublemaker Cosplay // Photo: @gnerdcorner

My cosplay is actually a fan art that was floating around on the Internet around 2012. My roommate loves Iron Man and so I asked her if she wanted to do it with me. She agreed. I tried to make this version of Loki that year but I failed miserably. I did not plan it out properly and came out with another Loki instead. So like a lot of cosplays, I shelved it.

Years passed, I got married to someone in the armed forces. I suffer from extreme PTSD, ADHD and bipolar type two. So I have learned to deal with these things by sewing and cosplaying.

I got told a lot growing up that I could never do anything right. I have a younger brother, who was treated like a prince. I was always told, "why can't you be more like your little brother?" So I always saw him as Thor in my mind and I was Loki. Trying to get into the spotlight but never being good enough to be the golden child.

Every time a new Thor movie came out, Loki was at a different part of his life and so was i. I self-analyzed who and what I was. Why did I feel this way? How do I move past this? I analyzed what he went through and who he was at that time.

So last year, I sat in my sewing room going through a depression episode, just sobbing. I just could not see where my life was heading. I felt aimless, so lost. What was I doing with my life? All I wanted was to run back home, but I couldn't because I had chosen the life that I have now. I have never regretted it. The transition has been extremely difficult. Anyone who has married into the armed forces will understand how isolating it can be.

So during this episode, I started to watch the Thor movies. That is when it came to me that I needed to make this Loki finally. I had kept putting it off. Something in my mind just clicked that I needed to make this costume now. That this was the right time to revisit the costume I had failed on so many years before.

Photo: @singular_photography 

I sat down and started to draw out how the costume looked to me and I started to break it down and writing out what I might need to do for it. I wanted that beautiful collar that was in the artwork. I found a butterrick pattern. The pattern was a shirt with a high collar with no seam. After I was comfortable with the start of it, I proceed to take in the pattern. I am extremely tiny, so I always have to take everything in to the extreme. I forget my size at times because I don't see myself as this petite 5'3 thing in my mind. I am seven feet tall in my mind and a builder who can crush boulders in my hands.

I used muslin to pattern out the whole costume, I highly recommend that everyone always mock-up things they have never made before. It will save a lot of headaches later on. I just drew on the petals for the lower half on to the shirt pattern, measuring out the bottom half of the shirt and using that as the guideline for the bottom of the petal.

I have always loved Loki sleeves. They are literally my favorite part of the whole costume. I could look at them forever. This is basically the only part of the costume I am ashamed of. I skipped patterning out the sleeves with muslin and went straight into using the actual fabric. I took a bunch of scrap material, folded them, sewed them down and started to position them on the sleeves. There are about 300 studs on the sleeves, I planned the layered fabric around the studs. I hand stitched all the gold chain-mail onto the sleeves.

I put zippers into the sleeves since they were going to be skin tight, I knew there had to be a way for me to get it on and off. I eventually just hand-stitched the zippers in because the sleeves were so tiny and thick that I could not get my machine to work with me.

Photo: @singular_photography

For the details, I found all of them on Amazon. I found a gold chain mail dance club shirt for 20 dollars. The zipper stoppers were a bit harder. Those are what are on Loki's coat. I spent a long time searching for zipper stoppers, eventually, I found a pretty decent size on Amazon. There are almost 900 zipper stoppers on my Loki that i hand crimped on.

I was having so much fun creating something so personal to me. I was putting all my grief, anger, sadness, loneliness into that one costume.

For the midsection, I started off with a pattern I thought that would work, it didn't. so I just flipped the design around and re-cut out the pattern and extended the ends to take in when I needed to like the strap at the top of the shoulder. I organized the straps around finding the best way to sew them together. after they were sewn together, I stitched snap buttons on to all the points so it would sit where I wanted it to on my torso. I put more snap buttons on the back by the zipper to finish it off. I hand sewed more chain mail on to it. I used a curved needle for most of the sewing for it. because curved needles are easier to sew with.

The whole costume is interfaced. I will warn people against trying to interfaced 36 pattern pieces in one day. Don't do it. I literally hurt. It sucked. I had so many chances to turn the ship back around and stop but I did not. Lesson learned. everything but the skirt is interfaced. It is also topped stitched as well. I wear two petticoats under it to give it that extra poof. I wanted a super poofed out figure.

Photo: @singular_photography

The costume has impacted my life in so many ways. I did not think I could sew something like this. I still battle self-doubt and self-worth quite a bit. It helped me evolve how I create costumes and pattern things out.

Anytime I am feeling down and like I can't do anything right, I have this amazing piece of art that I can go back and look at. I went above and beyond what I had ever done before that point and showed myself what I could achieve. I feel such love for it when I look at it. I can not stress how much this character and costume has boosted my confidence.

Now I look at costumes I thought that was too hard for me, and go I can do that. Peoples reaction to it help alot because I don't realize what I can do at times and again I will downplay myself. their reactions snap me out of that mentality and I m like Oh yeah I made that. I can do that.

https://linktr.ee/troublemakercosplay

#Loki #avengers #cosplay #Loki cosplay #Avengers cosplay #cosplay interview

[haikyuu-boys-headcanons]

Can I get a scenario? The gang (+ Travis?) with an S/O who is a complete nerd about certain games/shows/actors/anything that they find interesting and will go on tangents as often as possible. They will introduce it to everyone they meet and has a bunch of merch.

yeah of course!! xx 

SAL

oh lordyyy

he will find you absolutely adorable! 

obviously he’s a very lowkey nerd since he’s in LOVE with tv shows and games (this is canon btw ahaa)

he’s obviously going to listen on your little tangents but he’ll be a little confused at times

he just melts when he hears you ranting about your favourite things and honestly, he loves listening to you rant in general

if you both happen to like to the same thing, then SHIT-

EXTROVERT SAL COMING THROUGH!

he’ll be ranting about the topic you have in common until he runs out of things to say!

but he’ll always let you speak first

he loves seeing you fangirl over the merch you bought

in fact, the only reason you guys met is because you two happened to bump into each other after you bought all that merch, causing all of it to fly all over the hallways of addison apartments

LARRY

“huh? yo-ou like sanity falsls too?”

for once he actually gets nervous

he usually picks his s/os from looks and once he found out they both like something huge in common, he didn’t really know how to function

one hand, he teases you for liking that shit so much, and sometimes that can make you feel shitty :( 

but then again he’ll feel so frigging bad because over on the other hand, he’s a huge nerd too.

more likely just a dork i guess? but he loves you and he never wanted to hurt you

he’ll most DEFINETLY wear the merch you bought only to annoy the shit out you

“hey larry have you seen my ne- LARRY! TAKE THAT SHIRT OFF RIGHT NOW IT’S A COLLECTORS ITEM!!!”

“glady ;)”

after a while of dating, he’ll trust you enough to show his own secret little collection

he didn’t like showing it off after the case of charley and his ponies basically traumatised only love he had for collections

you’ll most likely take the risk of making fun of him, only to make him extremely upset 

you didn’t really think he’d get that sad though, right? it’s only a collection

but then he explained why he was so upset and you immediately understood

your third date was to a sanity falls concert and that the moment he knew he loved you.

he’s never though he would fall in love so hard over a ‘nerd’

ASH

ooft >~

she cant handle how cute it is when you ramble on and ON AND ON

sometimes she has to admit it gets a tinyy bit annoying

but she loves it whatsoever, and plus she doesn’t have the heart to tell you to stop

she’s OBVIOUSLY going to make some merch for you

“you like the show fullhouse? OH YOUR GONNA GET A WHOLE OUTFIT SET OF FULLHOUSE!”

she’s practically a genius when it comes to crafts

she knows how to make almost anything 

when she found out you were a huge fan, she made you your first piece of merch-

merch socks.

you were almost in tears on how adorkable that was

she LOVES going to conventions with you!

she’ll even cosplay if she can!

she’ll even MAKE matching cosplay outfits!

but you did have to stop her MUTIPLE times from getting into fights with people that seems to think that your fandom isn’t as good as other ones and that’s the main reason you guys always get kicked out

but regardless, you still love her 

no matter how many conventions you miss x

TODD

(sadly i choose to skip todd in most things that involves s/os because he got a mans

TRAVIS

well…

he make fun of you alot when you guys just started dating

and not like how larry does it, i mean he’s trying to be hurtful

but after a while, i guess he sort of understood what the hype was all about

he realised he might even actually like it.

and that he might actually like you.

he liked to glare at you while you were wearing your merch and when you would address the staring he would say-

“It’s stupid.”

“huh?”

“the shirt, it’s fucking stupid”

but really he was just taking in how gorgeous you looked in your winkled, scrunched up merch

he wouldn’t come to conventions at all.

no matter how much you begged him

but one day he saw a piece of merch from your favourite fandom

and he bought it. for you.

“Uhh, I saw this and i thought you should, umm- have it?”

“awhh! travis you actually bought me merch?”

“no! i just saw it and i t-th-thought you might need it. nothing more, got it?”

you were still over the moon.

(again sorry if they were short!)

#sally face #sallyface #salfisher

[romansrgn]

AN: I apologize for the wait but the new chapter is finally up after going back an fourth with what I wanted to happen in this chapter. Anyway, thank you guys for liking and sending feedback. You’re excitement means alot and it fuels me to update more so if you want faster updates please like and or review. Happy reading!

side note: let me know if you want to be added to the taglist.

taglist: @queenofthearchitect @calicina @never-sawft-princess @5dsinyourdirection@fancybarbii @aria725  @5ds-inmydirection, @lustyromantic 

 ch.3

“I think you're trying to kill me.” Braelin huffed at her part time trainer and full time friend “Is there a hit out on me that I don't know about?”

Dante snickered “You're lucky this isn't our normal routine. Otherwise, I would’ve wore your ass out.”

Braelin blushed deciding it was best to move the conversation to safer ground “Not everyone is willing to train with a pregnant woman, so thank you.”

Dante agreed grabbing his water bottle “Some people like to think pregnant women are fragile and don't want to take the risk.”

“And you don't think so?”

“Yes and No. Women in general are amazing. Their bodies are capable of carrying life and everything that entails. As  gentle and protected as women should be handled, they're god's greatest creations. They can handle more than what any man can.”

Braelin looked impressed “Well, I can't speak for all women but I definitely appreciate a man that doesn't take a woman for granted.”

“Spoken like a woman whose been taken for granted.”

“Unfortunately, I'm quite familiar with it. But I've learned to put what I want someone else to give me into myself. “

“I'm glad you're motivated to take care of yourself but sometimes it doesn't hurt to lean on someone else.”

“I did and it hurt..alot.” She really didn't want to talk about this anymore so changed the subject again  “My body is changing. There's some things I won't be able to do but right now I can go the distance so don't take it easy on me because you don't  think I can handle it.”

Dante pulled his shirt off “My issue isn't that I don't think you can’t handle it. My issue is that you don't know when to quit.”

“I’ll quit when I’m good and ready. I’m not ready.” Braelin placed the boxing glove on her left hand and handed him the other one to assist her.

Dante’s dark eyes swept over her “Always with the three B’s.” Braelin raised a brow obviously confused. “Brains, brawns and beauty.” he said placing her glove on her small hand.

Her only response was tapping her gloves together “Square up.”

“I’m not fighting you?”

Braelin dropped her arms “Why not?”

“Because, I don't fight--”

“If you finish that sentence I’m really going to kick your ass. I just need you as a sparring partner. I haven't boxed in a while and I could use some practice.”

“That's because you said you hated boxing, remember?” he said putting the gloves on his hands nonetheless “That’s why I stopped adding it to our sessions..”

Braelin shrugged “Well, since I can't beat bitches up in the ring anymore this will have to do.”

Dante chuckled “So you’re making me the bitch you want to beat up for fun?”

Braelin threw her head back and laughed  “You know what I meant. Are we going to do this or not?”

Sighing dramatically he squared up with her “Alright, B. Let’s throw hands.”

She grinned and for the next hour they  did nothing but spar.

Fan Axxess

“You didn't have to come here with me.”

“I know I didn't. But it's rare that I get to see you outside of  the element I'm used to seeing you in.”

“Which is?”

“Our training sessions and inside the ring. I wanna know who Braelin is when she's not in battle or preparing for one.”

Braelin raised a brow “You know who I am. We've been friends for years “

Dante stepped a tad bit closer to the little lady “You know what I meant.”

Braelin tilted her head to the side “Yes, but who said I wanted you to see that other side of me?”

Dante shrugged “No one. But then again you haven't turned me away yet either.”

Despite herself she smiled at that “No, I haven't. Outside of my sister and Naomi no one else knows I'm pregnant. And if I were being honest it feels good to have someone around me that isn't family. I feel like I can relax.”

Dante popped a piece of popcorn in his mouth “I'm more than happy be your escape. Where is your family by the way?”

“The twins and Naomi have a signing at 2:30. Everybody else is sight seeing since I have interviews for the rest of the day and a signing after this.”

Dante nodded “Well, in that case.” he threw a piece of popcorn in the air and grinned when Braelin caught it with her mouth. “You know that was my piece, right?”

The sound of Braelin’s giggle never seemed to get old to him which is why he always made it his business to put a smile on her pretty face despite whatever’s going on with her.

During nights when she felt like letting out her frustrations at the gym he never let her go at it alone and all the way to their random phone conversations at 2 am when she couldn't sleep after traveling all night. Whatever it was he was there and like hell if he wouldn't do it all again.

Dante looked around the Wrestlemania Fan axxess. Seeing the fans so excited about seeing their favorite superstars while cosplaying them was unreal. It sorta reminded him of the insanity at San Diego Comic Con.

Braelin angled her just a little to stare at him “Stop acting like a first timer.”

Dante smiled wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her into his side “Technically your popping my Wrestlemania Axxess cherry. You should be happy I chose you to do this with.”

Braelin giggled  “I promise it won't hurt. Just squeeze my hand and let me know if it's too much.”

Dante nodded dramatically “Just be gentle.”

They both laughed.

“Seriously, I'm feeling so much better with you here.”

Dante kissed the top of her head “Well then, I need to start being around a lot more.”

“Really? I mean I'm not asking you to travel the world with me but it would be nice to see you more.”

She didn't know what she was asking of him but Braelin knew she just needed someone familiar around. Someone she can talk to that didn't  judge her and scowl her like she was a kid.

“I don't say things I don't mean. If you need me then consider me already there.”

Silence.

“Braelin, this is probably the worst timing ever giving your situation” he looked down at her stomach which she smiled at “But, I really want to kiss you and I have for a really long ass time.”

Braelin blinked in almost disbelief  “You want to kiss me?”

“Why do you sound so surprised?”

“I don’t know. I just thought you had other girls you liked. Not that I think you like me, like that.” She held up her hands ”I’m not saying you just kiss random girls, I--”

Her rambling was cut off by a pair of full lips. Braelin kept her hands to her side and her eyes opened deciding it was best to keep whatever this is as platonic as possible. But when she made the mistake of parting her lips slightly granting his artful tongue access. It didn't take long for this friendly kiss to turn into a whole different ball game.

Damn this man can kiss.

Her small hands involuntarily grabbed fists full of his shirt, pulling him closer.

Vaguely she could here the whispers of the people that were walking past them. But It was the sound of someone clearing their throat that ultimately broke them apart.

Dante rested his forehead against Braelin’s “Damn woman.”

Braelin who was slightly panting and on the verge of expressing her own gratification stopped cold at the sight of the angry Samoan behind them.

Roman couldn't remember the last time he has ever been this pissed. He tried to recount a few moments in his life that maybe can top this but came up short. His jaw clenched and his hands flexed but he reminded himself that they were in public and there was no need to show his ass in front of mixed company despite Braelin’s willingness to do so.

Naomi told him that Braelin would be at axxess around noon even though her meet and greet didn't start until two. With her being there early he wanted to get another opportunity to talk too her. He wasn't hoping for anything, honestly, he just wanted to see her. He hated the way they left things last night. Which seems to he a recurring theme in their relationship.

When she didn't answer his calls he walked the landscape of axxess looking for her but a crowd of people taking pictures stopped him in his tracks. Roman was seconds away from turning in the opposite direction so he can remain undetected but something told him to check it out.

And there she was. Standing in the middle of a crowd of people swapping spit with his fucking trainer.

Dante brows furrowed in confusion wondering what the hell was so fascinating behind him. He turned and yup, right on cue. The ex boyfriend “Sorry, Rome. We didn’t see you there.”

Roman glacial grey eyes left Braelin’s and moved to Dante’s “I can tell. You probably didn’t notice the crowd of people you’ve managed to attract either.”

Braelin’s eyes widen a bit in mortification. She decided that now was probably best if they went to a more private setting separating herself from the public and her embarrassment. So she attempted to walk past Roman but he stopped her in her tracks. “What are you doing?”

Roman held up a finger “I came to remind you that our autograph session has been moved up to 1:30.” After hearing that the crowd scattered probably to get in line a bit early. Once they were free from prying eyes he continued “When did this start?”

“That’s none of your business.”

Roman had to disagree “I think it is my business. Especially, since you and I--”

“Last time I checked you two were over.” Dante intervened “Which means you don’t have a say in who she talks to or otherwise.”

Roman grinned and looked down at Braelin “You want to tell him or should I?”

Braelins eyes widen.

“What happened in her past is just that? The past.”

“And what? you think you’re her future.” Roman almost laughed “Braelin doesn’t even know what the hell that is.  Love em and Leave em. Once you fuck up your done for, kid. No more second chances. No more anything. It’s a harsh world but it’s her rules.” He looked down at the small girl in front of him “Isn’t that right, baby girl.”

Braelin reached up and slapped the hell out of him causing his head to swivel to the side at the not so surprisingly hard slap. “Fuck you.”

Roman smirked his big hand rubbed his stinging jaw “We played that game already. You lost.”

Braelin inhaled sharply before leaving the two men alone.

The two men eyed each other a bit before Roman shouldered past Dante.

Game on, they both thought.

Roman grabbed his cellphone out of his pocket and without looking at it and yelled in the phone “What?”

Janelle was a little taken back by the attitude “ I guess axxess isn't going so well.”

Roman blinked at the sound of the voice “I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean to yell.”

“Its ok. Is everything alright??”

Roman rubbed his furred beard “The morning didn't start off the way I wanted it but it’s all good.”

“Don't tell me you've already had a bad encounter.”

Roman looked across the lot and saw Braelin with her security “Something like that.”

“Well, I hope your gets better. You shouldn't let one bad egg ruin it for everybody else.”

She already has. 

“I'm trying to baby. But some encounters are hard to shake.”

Braelin and Roman made eye contact but it was him that turned his back to her “Whatever, it only made me realize that I need to look at the situation deeper, that's all. Things have changed a lot and I just have get use to the new set up.”

Janelle was quiet for a bit not understanding what he mean’t “Are you sure you're ok?”

“I'm fine. So, what's up? How is the spa day with my mom and sisters.”

Janelle beamed “Its going great. I really missed your family.”

“They've missed you too.” Roman took a quick peak behind the curtain and noticed that his line started to form at his booth “Baby girl, I have to get ready to go. But I'll call you as soon as I'm done here.”

“Ok, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Janelle looked at the phone and frowned suddenly having a bad feeling.

“Are you seriously pouting right now?” Finn squinted at his partner in crime who was in quite the mood this evening.

“No, I’m not pouting. I’m hot.”

“I’ve noticed.” he winked.

Braelin rolled her eyes “Why is Wrestlemania always in Florida? I mean do we not know any other fucking states to host this. What about Wisconsin?  I hear Wisconsin is  beautiful this time of year.”

Finn wanted to laugh but he could tell she was being dead serious “You’re from New Orleans. You should be use to the heat.”

“Well, I’m not use to the heat. I actually” She kicked off her heels “Hate the heat. It does weird things to my hair and I can’t stop sweating.”

“You are perspiring more than usual.” He raised a brow “Maybe we need to take a break. Our next set of interviews isn’t for another hour and then we have another autograph signing at axxess. You still have time to get cool down and rest.”

At this point Finn felt like he was talking to himself because Braelin managed to tie her hair in a messy bun and remove her blazer leaving herself in only a black camisole and some slacks. “You do know you have a hotel room for this, right?”

Braelin smiled tightly at him “Stop being a dick and give me a piggyback ride. My feet hurt and if I walk any further I think they might fall off.”0

Finn through his head back laughing “I dont know what’s up with you lately but I’ve never seen you act like this before.” instead of giving her a piggyback ride he picked her up bridal style

Braelin yelped in surprise.

Just as soon as Braelin was safely secured in his arms. Renee, Seth, Dean and Roman approached the duo wondering about the situation. But it was Renee who asked “What are you guys doing?”

“She’s hot and her feet hurts.” Finn shrugged.

“So you decided to sweep her off her feet?” Dean asked earning a glare from Roman.

Braelin again rolled her eyes “Dean, don’t make me kick your ass. I was actually hot and my feet really does hurt. So I’m going back to my hotel to cool down and change.”

“It doesn’t take two of you too do that.” Roman looked pointedly at Braelin.

Braelin didn't miss the attitude in his voice “It does when he has too take me to my hotel. We came here together.”

“You guys are a we now?” he asked ignoring everything else she said. He knew he was being ridiculous but he couldn’t help it.  Roman was more than a little peeved at what went down between them last night, earlier and then finding her literally in the arms of another man. It just pushed him over the edge.

“Hey, relax man. We’re all cool here. I’m just helping out a friend.” Finn said attempting to put Braelin down who was too busy having a glaring contest with Roman.

Renee nodded “Well, it obvious you two have a few things to discuss. Well just--” she pointed before leaving the ex lovers alone with Finn, Seth and Dean falling behind her.

“What the hell is your problem?”

“My problem? First, I see you kissing my former trainer and now this shit.” Roman whispered heatedly

Braelin’s eyes ballooned “Former? You fired him. Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Damn right. His ass can stand in the unemployment for all I care.”

Braelin small hands clenched wanting nothing more than to slap his ass again but she knew it wouldn’t solve anything. She couldn’t be mad at him, not with the secret she’s literally caring/ “For whatever reason you’ve become extremely bitter with me lately and I’m not sure why that it is. You’re so hell bent on making me the bad guy.”

Roman snorted “You think I’m bitter?.”

“Why the hell else have you being acting like spoiled ass child who had their favorite toy taken away from them. I’m not yours anymore, Roman.”

Roman took a step closer to her. His large hands cradling her face. He smiled when her eyes involuntarily closed as she melted into his touch “There are times when I know down to my bones that you were made for me. I crave you so much that I can’t even think about anything else but you. Seeing you, talking to you, holding you and making love to you. It’s always you. But then I remember how crazy we make each other. Us not being together was and is still probably the best option.”

Braelin took a step back. His hands dropping to his sides “I didn't realize I made you crazy.”

“I'm not arguing with you about this. You and I know both know that we lose touch with our emotions whenever we start circling each other. I need to remain level headed and I can't do that with you around.”

Braelin's breath hitched as if she's been punched in the stomach “Wow, you've said some hurtful things to me today but--”

Roman sighed “You know I don’t mean it that way. I sought you out these last three months because I did want to be your friend again. Before we were anything else. We were friends first. But I realize after seeing you with D and how I reacted. I can never just be your friend.”

She couldn't say she disagreed with that statement. Roman meant more to her than a casual acquaintance.  

“Well, you won't have to put up with me for too much longer. I'm taking a leave from the WWE indefinitely very soon.”

Roman frowned “Is that necessary? I thought your knee didn't require another surgery?”

“My knee is fine. I just need time. My life is changing and I need to start thinking about my future outside of wrestling.”

“It sounds like you're retiring.”

Braelin said nothing.

Roman attempted to pull her into his arms but stopped cold when she took another step backwards. “Don't do that. You I didn't mean to hurt you baby girl.”

“You know... you say that too me an awful lot.” she did the one thing that came natural to them, she walked away. “Goodbye, Roman.”

Roman pulled out his cellphone “Hey, can you meet at my hotel room in an hour? We need to talk.”

Roman untied the knot at the nap of his neck when he heard a knock at the door “It's open.”

Keyon and Roman once again did the bro hand shake before bumping shoulders “What’s up man?”

“Have you talked to Braelin today?”

Keyon nodded “Yea, we all went to breakfast before she had to head to axxess, Why?”

“Did she say anything about retiring to you or the rest of the family?”

Keyon thought for a moment. Nothing stood out about breakfast outside of Braelin not drinking a mimosa which she was known to do in the morning when she needed to be woken up and with her schedule he thought she probably needed at least three of them “Nah. If she did you know momma would’ve been happy as fuck. We wouldn’t be able to hear the end of it.”

Roman already knowing that to be true nodded. He knew Mama C was never a fan of Braelin’s decision to pursue wrestling so she would’ve been the first person Braelin told. That was if she hadn't told Briyanna and Naomi.

“You know B likes her mimosa’s with her breakfast to wake her up. This morning she passed on it”

Roman sat down in his chair. He was suddenly reminded of last night when he offered to buy her drink and  she turned him down. “Braelin is not drinking and she’s retiring. Something’s up man.”

Keyon had his theories but he wanted to run them by his baby sister first. “Maybe it’s not as deep as we think it is. She’s getting older man and the things that she once loved before she’s probably just not into them anymore.

Roman almost flinched at the implication “Yea, you’re probably right. Thanks for coming by man.”

“No, problem. Despite what’s going on between you and my baby sister. We brothers.”

Braelin used her key to unlock her hotel room door. Suddenly feeling  emotionally drained, she collapsed against the door. She placed a hand on her slightly protruding stomach “Well. kid. I apologize in advance for all the drama today. Mommy made a mistake and now everything is all messed up. Some people have double lives but it seems like I have three. I’m whatever my  fans want me to be, I’m whatever my family wants me to be and then there’s me. Your momma. It’s going to be scary for a while because it’s just me and you but I promise everything is going to be ok. I’m going to make sure of it.”

There was a knock at the door “Who is it?”

“It’s me. I’m just checking to see if your ok.”

Braelin smiled before opening the door “I’m feeling much better now, thank you. I need to apologize too you. Roman had know business firing you because of me.”

Dante shrugged “I was going to quit anyway.” “Why?”

“Something tells me there’s going to be a conflict of interest.”

Braelin grinned up at Dante “Oh yea. I wonder what the conflict of interest might be.”

Dante pulled her small body to his, his large hand cupping her cheek “As if you don’t already know.”

“I think I need to be reminded.”

Dante who was all to happy too oblige eagerly captured her cupid bow shaped lips with his own. He absolutely loved the way she tasted. Every part of him was wondering  if the rest of her tasted just as good but he knew she was nowhere near ready for that so he planned on getting his fill with this kiss.

Braelin moaned her small hands bringing him closer to her. She knew she needed to put the breaks on this before it went further and despite what her body was telling her she wasn’t ready to go any further without regretting it later.

She pulled away licking her lips and staring into his lust filled eyes “My situation is complicated. My job requires me to be on the road all the time and on top everything else I’m pregnant with another man’s baby. I’m not expecting anything from you which is why I think we need to take a step back and slow things down because the last thing I need right now is too lose your friendship. I can’t.”

Dante frowned “You’re not going to lose me, Brae--”

“You say that now but what if someone else comes along and you realize everything you want and need is with her and not me. I can’t handle that, not again. Not from you.”

Dante wiped away the single tear that fell from her green eyes “What is this about?”

“Nothing.”

“No, it’s definitely something. Is this about Roman?”

Silence

“Braelin?”

“He’s the father of my baby.”

Dante's eyebrows practically lifted off of his forehead  “If he’s the father of your baby then that means you two--”

Braelin hung her head in almost shame “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. It was a one time thing that didn’t mean anything, I swear.”

Dante tried his best not to pass judgement because he had a front row seat at how difficult the break up between them were. Not only has he been the trainer for them both for the past three years he was also a friend.

Braelin bit down on her bottom lip as she watched as he tried tpo process what she just told him “Please, say something.”

Silence.

“I understand if this is too much. It’s too much for me too. But I hope we can still be--”

Dante placed his large hands on either side of her face once again “I’m not judging you. It just took a me a while to process everything. But I’m ready and despite you telling me this I know you’re not. But I just want you to know that I’m here and that’s where I’ll stay.” he searched her eyes for a second “He doesn't know does he?”

Braelin shook her head “It’ll mess everything up. It’s best if he doesn’t know.”

Dante didn’t totally agree with that. In fact there was a part of him that knew if Braelin did tell Roman that she was pregnant he was sure that Roman would drop everything especially his wife to play house with Braelin and their kid despite the life long promise he made to Janelle and selfishly that was the last thing he wanted.

“I know I should tell him and eventually I will but I can't be the distraction and the reason he loses everything.”

“A distraction?”

“It doesn't matter. Everything is better the way that it is. So I need you to promise me that this stays between us.”

“I promise. In the meantime you have to promise me that you'll come to me if you need anything. Unless, Rom--”

“Roman is no longer an option. I'm ready to move on I just need to do it when I'm not so overwhelmed.”

Dante nodded “Well, I'm going to let you get ready. Call me after your done with your interviews/.”

Braelin nodded and kissed him on the cheek “Thank you. For everything.”

“You don't have to thank me. Take care of yourself. That's all the thanks I need.”

Naomi scrolled down her twitter timeline and her eyes widen. There it was plastered all over TMZ's twitter page: Pro Wrestler Braelin Williams is now dating Actor/ Boxer/Trainer Dante Munteanu. With a picture of them kissing.

Braelin placed her small hands over Naomi's eyes “Guess who?”

When Naomi didn't respond Braelin removed her hands and frowned when Naomi went back to looking at her phone “What's got you so fascinated?”

Naomi held up her phone “Please tell me this is bullshit?”

Braelin cursed “They must have gotten this picture from one of the fans.”

“So it's real?”

“Yea, it's real.” Braelin rolled her eyes when Naomi stared at her dumbfounded  “Don't look at me like that. It just happened.”

“You've been having a lot of those ‘it just happened’ moments lately. Roman is going to flip the fuck out “

“He already knows. He caught us kissing and basically fired Dante and told me I make him crazy.”

Naomi wasn't surprised Roman and his cousins all had the same temper. They react first and think later. “Good, thing it was just a kiss and nothing else. You have way too much going on to add more drama too it.”

Braelin bit her lip “I don't know what's going on between Dante and I. We're taking it slow.”

“Slow as in not at all, right?”

Silence

“Brae.” Naomi yelled.

“I don't know.” Braelin yelled back  “I’m feeling so much right and I don’t have a handle on any of it. Roman and I will never be what we use to be and that makes me sad. I'm tired of being sad, Nao.”

Naomi nodded “I didn't mean to yell. I just want you to be ok.”

“I'm carrying his child and he will never know. I will never be ok. Not completely. But I need live with this and I need to move on. I owe myself that much.”

Roman and The Usos  joined the girls in what appeared to be in high spirits.

Naomi was the who of course called them out on it “Why are y'all in such a good mood?”

“Its Wrestlemania weekend. Why aren't we in a good mood.” Jimmy said kissing Naomi on the lips.

Naomi rolled her eyes “Nice try. What's really going on?”

Jey shrugged “We just got some good news. That's all.”

“Ok, what was the good news.” Braelim asked causing all three men to look at her.

Roman cleared his throat deciding it was best to just put it all out there “Janelle and I have decided to start a family after Mania.”

Braelin merely stared at Roman not knowing what else to say “Wow, um. Congratulations.”

Naomi held her head down. That was all she could do without blowing the entire lid off this damn thing.. She could literally see her baby cousin struggling to come up with words fitting for the situation. At Least some that wouldn't break her own heart further.

“I hope everything works out for you. No one knows how much of great father you'll be more than me.”

Roman held Braelin's gaze seeing something else there but deciding not to comment on it “Thanks Brae.”

“Of course.” Braelin pulled out her cell phone and sent Dante a quick message.

Naomi looked at Braelin already knowing what the message said.

I think I’m ready.

AN: Alright, so what do you guys think? Will Dante and Braelin have a shot now that she’s attempting to move on with her life? Or do you guys think both she and Roman are making one bad decision after another?

I’ll give ya’ll a hint on the next chapter: It’s 50% Roman and Braelin in the past. Let me know whatchu think by leaving me a message under the story or in my inbox. Until next time.

#roman reigns x oc #wwe fanfiction #roman reigns fanfiction #roman reigns fan fic #roman reigns #WWE #key writes

[vixenfur]

Tag at least 5 people you love and give a few words on why!

OH MY GOODNESS!!!

Since there was so much BS in the fandom today, time to share some love! :)

- @zeta-jane is an absolute godsend of a friend. They are sassy, funny, talkative, energetic and so full of amazing ideas!!! Zeta is always there for me when I need someone to lean on. They’re such a kind friend and they will not hesitate, baitch to fight people who hurt me- probably because they know I’d do the same for them! They’re such good company both online and IRL, and I am blessed to have met them! I am even more blessed to be writing City of Dust and Shadows with them, which has become the longest fic either of us has ever written! We may or may not surpass it with our future collabs, however ;) They are just the coolest person ever and they deserve all the love in the world. I adore them so much!!! TUT 

- @mikayu-chan is such a got damn SWEETHEART. They are trying to see the positive side of things, especially after so much fandom drama in the past, and I’m so so proud of them for trying their hardest to live their best life. They have it way too hard and I want to give them a big ole hug and many days of fun!!! They always make me laugh and we have a great time on calls! I’m glad that we see eye-to-eye on so many things and that we continue to teach each other new things all the time!! They are really an irreplaceable friend and such a joy to talk with, to write with, and to laugh with. I love you Chan

- @crazyloststar deserves the entire world and more!!!! oMg I cannot express how much I love Alex!!!!! Alex is just a big bundle of happiness and fun and she makes me so so so so so so so happy. I love calling with her and talking, I love writing with her and everything else!! We always have so much fun, I swear I can’t talk to her without laughing my ass off at least once XD we’re always DJDJDHDHDHDJD’ing at each other because we just can’t find the right words to express how hard we’re agreeing with each other/laughing omfg. I adore her and I cant WAIT to cosplay KimiYoi and RyuuTenn with her hopefully at next year’s Yaoi Con WOOT WOOT :D!!!!

- @yuudefensesquad is sUCH A GOOD BEAN who deals with SO MUCH and she just needs a big ole hug and lots of Yuuchan i stg. Caydence is such a funny funky lil nugget and I protecc her with my life okay. Her art? Flawless. Her shitposts? FUCKIN HILARIOUS. Her meta? Super engaging and intriguing! Her bravery? ABOVE US ALL LOL. She is just awesome and I’m glad I forcefully adopted her into my lil family of mikayuu nerds bc it just wouldn’t be the same without her. Caydence ily never stop being you. A lot of shit challenges her irl and everywhere else, but she still keeps her head up and man I really respect her.

- @mikaisatop is MY FRICKIN RIGHT HAND MAN. My SOULMATE. SARAHHH I ADORE YOU. You might be busy rn but I love you so much girl ;__; even though she’s busy I always bother her bc I want her to know I wouldn’t ever forget about her!! I’m so happy we got to collab so much and will continue doing so!! Winter’s Waltz is so much fun to write and I’m so happy she is writing it with me anyways despite such a busy schedule. If it weren’t for Sarah we wouldn’t have so much good MikaYuu content and I applaud her for it!!

- @6lilystrings9 IS JUST THE BOMB DOT FUCKIN COM. Lily and I didn’t super duper connect until more recently but omg talking with her is just a freakin BLAST. We always get so hype with each other, even over each other’s fandoms that we aren’t even in!!! Something about the energy in her pulls out the energy in me and we just get GOING lmao. She is so very talented and amazing and a fascinating person all around! I’m so glad we got to hang a bit at KatsuCon in 2017 but I hope we can do that again in the future! I miss her all the time!

- @weirdfairytales is the MAN. THE MYTH. THE LEGEND. Anna is just the biggest definition of a meme I can think of and I LOVE her for it. I’m so glad that we met way back when MikaYuuHell Skype existed and that she thought of the masterpiece that is Cherry Boy one wild night. I’m so glad we continued to be great friends and talk about so many things. I love when our messages get super long cause we just have so many things to say XD Cosplaying Victuuri with her at Katsu was so lit, and I can’t express how much I love her Victuuri fic too!!!

- @hannaadi88 is such. a. sweetheart. I can’t say it enough. Hanna does so much and gets so little I stfg yall need to APPRECIATE HER MORE. Her writing is STUNNING and the projects she makes for this fandom are just outstanding!!! From gift exchanges (I SAID ONS REMIX BEFORE IM SORRY i was wrong XD) to 365 Days of Mika and Yuu, she has put in so much for us constantly! She has also granted us with the lovely fic Scented, and not to mention one of my favorite fics of ALL TIME, Eye of Horus- the Ancient Egypt take on Unwritten!!! And she named it that without knowing my first tattoo is literally the eye of horus! XD I was shook lmfao and I still am. Meeting Hanna was amazing and the day I spent with her and @ihavetobenkyou (who is also a-freaking-MAZING and a big bundle of goodness!!!!!!) is one I’ll never forget. She’s so chill and just gives off this ‘wise’ aura idk why but I just look up to Hanna so much. No matter what she writes I will always support her and you all should too!!!

- @just-another-dream-about-yuu is ONE OF MY FAVORITE HUMANS TO EVER HUMAN. Julia omfg I cannot express how much I love you. TwT Julia is not only one of the most talented artists I have ever seen, but she is so sweet and fun and so full of energy and excitement!! She’s super busy with adulting so she’s not around in the fandom a whole lot but I always make sure to include her bc I won’t let her leave XD JULIA YOU CANNOT ESCAPE…. lmfao I will always drag you back… I won’t ever forget the day I got a twitter notification that someone drew me Unwritten fanart and the croaking sound I made was insane LMAO my friend who was with me was like WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED XD I was so excited!!! I still adore every piece of fanart she’s given me and I always will. Thank you, Julia, for bringing my imagination to life so many times, for showing me what you saw when you read my writing. It means more than I can say.

- @coleglend is the most underappreciated person in this fandom I swear. Or, who was in this fandom- Cole is off doing other things besides OnS, but regardless, she is so very amazing and beyond talented. I can’t even express how beautiful her art is and the emotions each piece sparks in me. Even her new Marvel artworks are just breathtaking and I truly admire them!!! I don’t know anyone who can make such detailed, visually engaging art- everything she creates belongs in a museum I swear. I want to print them and frame them for my walls!!! I look at her art all the time!!! Now that I’ve established how gorgeous her art is, talk about Cole as a person! She’s so sweet and kind and I love seeing her little posts on Instagram and such, even though I can’t understand most of them, I like seeing that she’s with friends and having a good time.

- @linnpuzzle is one of the coolest most amazing people in this fandom!!! Her art is STUNNING and as she knows, I will drop everything to commission her and buy her merch because I just am addicted to her gorgeous art!!! I am so honored to have some of her art as part of my collection of OnS things and I am forever going to treasure the commissions I’ve purchased from her!! Besides being a great artist, I love talking with Linn, too! I’m so glad we have things in common outside of MikaYuu, like Voltron and Kyo Kara Maoh :D Linn is truly too good for this world and she deserves everything okokok.

- @zilleniose-chu is truly an ICON of this fandom. We don’t talk alot outside of business stuff lolol but they are just freakin amazing!!! I adore their art so much- I always have, ever since I first saw their page!!- and I LOVE their AU’s and headcanons!! They are full of such great ideas and humor and they can share those ideas through really stunning and captivating artwork

- @absolute-exclusivity IS AN AMAZIN. ABSOLUTELY AMAZING BEAN OH MY GOODNESS i cANT TELL YOU ENOUGH HOW MUCH I LOVE LYSIA. AAAAAAAAHHHH THIS GIRL IS GONNA SPEND MY BIRTHDAY WITH ME OUT IN LONDON LESSGO GIRL!!! I’m so excited you have NO IDEA. Lysia is so so so energetic and cute and overall such an amazing friend!! She’s so caring and always willing to listen even when things are busy for her!! She’s full of hilarious, tragic, and heart-pounding ideas and AU’s. We always get lit together talking about fics and headcanons and I wouldn’t trade those moments for the world. I can’t wait to meet her and I can’t wait to collab with her and Zeta soon, too!!

- @rindartist is absolutely one of my favorite artists of ALL TIME no doubt about it. Rin is so amazing, always making so many beautiful artworks of MikaYuu, and now of other lovely series aswelll! I may not be into GBF but her art of it is just lovely and I suggest everyone to commission Rin if they have the means!!

- @p0isonpez is someone I’ve only seen from afar but I absolutely love her art and posts!! I am so happy to see someone new in the fandom sharing such lovely things and interacting with the rest of us!! you seem so friendly and kind and I hope we can talk more sometime! :D

- @temesasu is such a sweetheart!! We’re just starting to talk a little more, but I am soso happy!! They are such an amazing cosplayer and their ONS cosplayers bring such a big smile to my face. They are beautiful and able to make themselves look like so many different characters!!! They are so talented with makeup, I am in awe!! :D And they are so kind and fun to talk to, and I hope we talk more! Thank you for sharing your cosplays with us, you are amazing! Don’t stop!

- @seraph-star is such a good precious person who makes endless good content!! Omg, their edits are just so awesome!! they always have me bouncing my head along, or completely enraptured and breathless, or laughing!! They are so good at evoking different emotions through video editing and as a very casual video editor myself, I am so impressed with their work!! I also love their memes and art and everything else that they share!!!

- @angeru-artist is a precious PRECIOUS ANGEL who deserves the entire world!!!! Omg, Angeru makes such amazing art, with such expressive characters and cute little attributes!!! I love it when I see their art and I’m so glad that we share a few fandoms together rather than just one. Angeru is really bighearted and she goes through way too much hard times, and I wish I could just take her away to somewhere better!!! One day my friend we will forget about the world and just have fun!!

- @maqui-chan iS ONE OF THE BEST ARTISTS I’VE EVER KNOWN OMFG. her art is iconic and unforgettable!!!! Maqui’s art has always been one of my favorites of all time and I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve commissioned her LOL!! I JUST LOVE HER ART SO MUCH OKAY!?? ITS SO GOOD GO LOOK AT ALL OF HER GLORIOUS CREATIONS! she is so talented and she can create anything, from angst to smut to humor, leave it to Maqui to create amazing things!! And omg Maqui ignited the fire in all of our ShuuNaru hearts amiright!??? GOD her art inspired me so much to the point to where I wrote a ShuuNaru fic and it was so much fun!!! Maqui, thank you for drawing so many awesome things and creating so much for the fandom!! Even if you’ve mostly fallen out of it, your creations are always going to be treasured by me and many other people- you’ve impacted people way more than you know! Thank you for always making me laugh on twitter aswell XD you’re amazing and ily!!! 

OK OK I;M OUT OF STEAM I’VE BEEN TYPING THIS FOREVER OK i could go ON AND ON about even MORE people in this fandom but that would take me literal ages LMAO

TO EVERYONE ELSE, WHO I DIDN’T MENTION BC MY BRAIN IS JUMBLED AND I AM EXHAUSTED: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. DONT STOP CREATING. THE FANDOM IS A FLAMING GARBAGE HEAP SOMETIMES LIKE IT WAS TODAY. But DON’T LET THAT STOP YOU from having a good time, doing what you love, and creating things that you are proud to share!!! And if your heart leads you elsewhere, to a different brand new fandom, I hope you always remember the people you inspired with your work!! I hope you forget the bad memories and always treasure the good ones. I hope that we can be friends and/or that I can continue supporting you no matter where we all end up in the years to come. And if you decide to support me too, I give you my biggest, most heartfelt thanks.

No matter how ridiculous this fandom can get and how much stupid discourse can dampen the mood and disappoint me, I will never let it stop me from loving MikaYuu and OnS and what I do. I will never let it stop me from writing all that my crazy little heart wants. I will continue to write until my passion dies, and when that day comes I will probably cry as I say goodbye and resort to watching from the sidelines as everyone else carries on. I will never forget the fun I had here. These past 3 years have been so impactful already, and I know the future ones will continue to be- with the old friends, with the new friends, and with friends to be made!!

Let’s spread love more often rather than hate. I encourage anyone who feels inclined to make posts (maybe not as long as mine if you dont want XDD) talking about your favorite creators and friends in the fandom, too! Or, if that seems too corny to you, just continue to draw, write, edit, and cosplay! Continue to make people laugh and smile and cry and swoon! Continue to support creators by leaving comments and kudos, by liking and reblogging, by following and commissioning, and sharing and crediting their work wherever you can! Continue to make a difference!

I love you all so much!

#mikayuu #long post #personal #anon #spreading love w people i love

[ask-dr-knockout]

New Job and Confessions

So hey guys, just a heads up I'll be starting my new job here soon in a few days. I just finished the remaining documentation and stuff like that. *Takes deep breath*

I'll be honest I am watching inspiring shows and listening to calming music right now between work in an effort to kind of keep myself positive and a little bit distracted from thinking any negative thoughts or allowing insecurities to fester.

I do apologise for a lack of posts lately and offtopic content as I know I have active RP I need to reply too and catch up with as well as commissions. Thanks for your patience my friends. Please bear with me.

I'm sure we all can relate to feeling a bit uneasy when it comes to change good or bad. It's new and it's a bit frightening at times. I'm about to go through alot of that soon. I've made alot of promises to my family and myself lately too. I want to make sure I do my best.

Not only for the new job but to commit to my own personal health and well-being again by keeping up good routines and cultivating good habits.

This is the first true full time job I'm taking on again since my family went through tragedy 4 years ago. This is a very difinitive time for us and I want to focus and make sure I do everything I can to succeed.

I'm finding myself in the same position my mother was in before she became sick. After financial hardship in the family, my mother went through rigerious training for a new job in order to help support all of us.

Despite her own unbelievable hardships while sick and going through chemo my mother continued to work and even passed her tough training for her job before she became to Ill and had to take medical leave. If it had not been for her efforts we would have not made it.

She did it for dad and I.

In the short time she was with that amazing company she forged bonds and friendships that could have lasted for years to come because that was who my mother was. Strong, determined and outgoing. She was going to go so far they would have promoted her. I sometimes wonder why God took her from us things would have been so much easier to bear if she had healed. She was/is the heart of us. She was my best friend before I had any friends. She still drives me to succeed as any good mother would.

I'm so proud of my mom and my dad for fighting through and being there for each other and me. I'm crying as I write this now but I want mom to know it's my turn now and I'm going to make her proud. If my mom could pass her training as sick as she was to support us I have no excuse but to do my very best like she did. I hope that I can succeed, this family needs some WINS. I owe that to her and dad for being amazing inspiring parents.

I'm tired of holding myself back from living a normal stable life both financially and emotionally. I figure if I can just get past this change I will start to get used to a new and better rhythm in my life once again and will have accomplished something meaningful.

I've been so used to putting out fires or relying on others to take that leadership and provide, but i think it's finaly time to cultivate and rebuilt again and this time I'm going to make that happen on my own merits. I want to do this for so many reasons.

I've had plenty of time to process everything that happened in the past. I can finally talk about subjects that hurt deeply or handle the slightest hint or mention that before could leave me in rough emotional states. I can recognize the fact I'm finally healing.

Where I won't pretend that I'm 100% recovered however, I now have regained enough of my old self to move forward again. I have found tools to work and manage that grief and pain. I've laid out a plan.

I realize I'm rambling alot right now but I need to get these feelings out and the more I say the easier it is to face.

The more I type the more likely I am to stick to my own personal proclimations and goals.

So yeah, I am just trying to keep positive and confidant. For Mom, Dad and myself.

This is going to be outside my comfort zone as it is a completely new field to me but I just gotta keep up the resolve. Lol man, I haven't even started yet, it could be easier then what Anxiety/ uncertainty likes to make one think. Gotta avoid overthinking it and take it one day at a time. I wish I didn't overthink things so much haha. feeling uncertian right now isn't going to help.

Also, this isn't so much just an update post I guess as an outlet to affirm my own choices that what I am doing is the right thing because it's so far from what I ever actually invisioned myself doing. Of course sometimes it's those things that bring us the most happieness too. Life is just not perdicable despite how often we have our own goals in mind. I find it's sometimes best to go with the flow and take what opportunity is presented. And this IS a career opportunity I can be proud of. And I'm a bit overjoyed it is not retail again. I've done retail so much in the past. I finally have found an opportunity I can grow and advsnce within this company. Where hard work supposedly Does get recognized.

But don't get me wrong. My heart still yearns for a career in the arts but I know we can't always have it our way and things may have to come in time. I tried for years to get where I thought I wanted to go without the success I was seeking. It doesn't mean I've given up but I do have to make a new strategy on how to move forward. And with financial stability and new skillsets to fall back on it also opens new opportunities for me as well. I'm making a calculated decision to persue a better future. The dreams are not dead.

Sometimes we have to take a less obvious or indirect route to achieve our goals and be pragmatic. I think the important thing to remember in any choice we make is to stay true to ourselves and especially those we love.

I can do this and I'm not going to let my insecurities get in the way of persuing a better path. but I think I may need help and encouragement from my friends. I really am not good with the solitary thing lol.

I kind of depend on you guys. You really do help drive me. Kind words and actions go a long way they are invaluable to me. Someday soon I hope I can give back to these special people in my life. Hugs

If I know myself, I know that I can be a bit hard on myself too. Another reason I truly depend on my friends. I have alot of big dreams because of my own high expectations and sometimes that can crush me when I think about how far off those aspirations still are. But maybe it's time to start living each day for what it is and having smaller goals leading to something bigger instead.

I'm working on being a kinder person to others but also to myself. I read recently how much our inner voice can truly play a role in our lives. I'm also saying this too for anyone else dealing with that. Be kind to yourself. Coach yourself like you would a close friend you want to help. Give yourself a break when you don't always succeed. If I fail at this new job it just means it wasn't the right fit. But I will have failed knowing I did my best first. At least I can mark that off my list too and move on to the next thing that might be even better.

But anyways yep, I want to keep driving for rideshare on the side as well as working on my freelance art/ cosplay. I don't want to give those things up because they are very much apart of who I am and what I love.

I admittedly still have some doubts about running myself down or the opposite never having the will to alot time for those passions anymore. To be honest I think the second out of the two is my greater fear. I tend to get focused on one task at a time but this job will require me to become more adept at multitasking or stopping and switching gears. not just in the job itself but in managing every aspect of my life. I hope I can learn to do this better as I can be a bit obsessive and too focused on one thing at a time. Also getting bored with one thing. It's definitely a skill I have to work on.

*Sigh* I have to admit too, there's so much riding on this too as I will need to work rideshare the first 2 weeks after i get done with my normal full time training hours to still handle the bills before I can begin to rely more on my new work schedule. After that I can limit my driving to maybe a few hours on the weekends so that I can begin to replenish savings for the future. This probably also means I may be less likely to be attending as many conventions as I used too in the past at least for this first year. But we'll have to see how it goes.

I'll be praying for energy and resolve and any support/prayers or well wishes is super appreciated on all of this. I'm going to need it in the upcoming weeks.

Anyways thanks for reading and allowing me to vent my feelings out to you guys. Your the best.

#mun #personal #job #sorry for long post #long post #vent #resolve #staying positive #doing good on a personal promice #self care #hard work #rewarding work #sorry i dont know how to do read more on mobil