Tumgik
#but i don’t use insta and even if i did i prob wouldn’t flirt with her via insta cause i'm too chicken
roaringroa · 1 year
Text
to the beautiful girl dressed as juliet from the halloween party two days ago: i am still thinking about you
#she was crazy beautiful and we danced for so long#she was a friend’s friend so at one point we went to sit together with everyone else and there weren’t enough chairs#so she pulled me onto her lap and when i told her to be careful cause i’m heavy#she said not to worry cause she works out so she can handle hot women????!!!! whjsgjajakshs#should have kissed her then and there but we literally had just sat down in the middle of all of our friends so i thought later#and at one point i think before that she kighted me with a water bottle?? i can’t remember why but i kneeled in front of her#so she knighted me and then gave me a kiss on the forehead and then one on each cheek#should have kissed her then too but i think we did the knight thing as a demonstration to ppl so again all of our friends were paying atten#anyway after both the lap the knighting and dancing very closely for a while i took her somewhere else#like outside so i could find an excuse to kiss her#but there were other couples there and everyone was asked to get back inside#so we did and then we sat down somewhere#we were chatting and then she said something about the guy who was flirting with her and how she wasn’t sure she should kiss him#because (here i don’t remember exactly) something about her ex boyfriend and how that guy wasn’t sober#so after that i was like wait am i sober enough so i realized i was a little too drunk and didn't try anything again#anyway we continued to dance and flirt but nothing more#and then she left and all i could think of please can i see you again#cause i would really like to kiss you and now i'm still thinking about her#but i don’t use insta and even if i did i prob wouldn’t flirt with her via insta cause i'm too chicken#but if i don’t use insta how can i see her again since i don't see our mutual friend that frequently#ou mutual friend is my high school friend and her middle school friend#my high school friend group is planning to get together in like a month and a half ( we have to plan in advance lol)#so i might ask about her then 💀💀💀#might be a little pathetic to ask about someone you met once after 1 month and a half but honestly i really did like her a lot#and i AM a little pathetic so…#also just to be clear this is not the girl i kissed in the sonic costume lol i was dressed as wednesday addams and didn’t kiss her :(#also no hate to the girl i kissed in the sonic costume she was cute but juliette girl was so... asdjlkfsçad#my post
13 notes · View notes
hoonvrs · 5 months
Note
OKOK LET ME TELL U OK so basically she was in my asks flirting with me and stuff she was like calling herself the rizzler and stuff I was like ok! So then she messaged me asking for my dc and stuff AND I WAS LIKE OKK like lowk I was js excited to have someone to talk too since my firneds rarwly message me like that BUT LITERALLY she was being kinda 🫠🫠 she would make like sexual jokes and joke abt wanting to be my instrument or being like god ure so fine and stuff which lowk I didn’t even think anything of and yesterday I was sooo mad bc this girl wouldn’t give me my charger LFMOAOA I was like it’s so hot in this room I’m sweating balls but BEFORW I said that I was like I’m playing poker in band and when she replied she went idk how to play poker. And then LEGIT SAID “it’s freezing how r u sweating” THEN BLOCKED ME AND DELETED HER THMBLR ACCOUNT and since I was preforming I didn’t know and when I came back I was like hmmm okay THEN I checked her Spotify acc and she hadn’t blocked me so I was js gna leave the playlist and as I was abt too SHE BLOCKED ME so Iwas like it’s wtvr she was kinda odd anyways THEN. I WENT ON TIMTOK AND IT said someone new had viewed my pfp And it was SOMEONE WHO HAD THE SAME NAME AS HER and it’s weird bc my tiktok isn’t under my name and I never mentioned my insta OR tiktok with her so it creeped me out and when I woke up I had a notif from tumblr from my moot and it was like her answering the ask and I know it’s her coz she typed the same and used the same anon emoji she used with me so I told my mootie patotie what she did 😞😞
NO CAUSE lil side note if we’re interacting a lot and shit and ur flirting with me okayy but when they start flirting on the get go like i don’t know you??
NAW SHES WEEIRDDD where my hug at unc type weird
reminds of the bbbfamous on celebrity😭 prob threw a fit cause u took too long to answer and decided she’s onto the next and ikkk she was burning cause blocking on spotify is acc crazyy
7 notes · View notes
currywaifu · 4 years
Text
Tumblr media
𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞: mutuals 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩: miyoshi kazunari/reader 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: sfw 𝐰𝐜: 1.9k words, 2 images
𝐚𝐧: me? back w/ fluff? it’s expected at this point! his speech is hard for me to replicate, but I rly do love Kazunari so I hope I did this scenario justice! I, uh, got too excited at the prospect of “insta mutuals” oops~ hope you don’t mind the additional media TT
Tumblr media
The Insta notification that popped up on the top of your screen distracted you from the game you were playing. Normally you’d flick the notif away, but as soon as you realised what it was about, you rushed to finish the rest of the stage.
Tumblr media
You and Kazunari have been Insta Mutuals for nearly a year now, ever since he hit you with a follow and you proceeded to stalk his readily-available socials. 
The two of you had been liking and commenting on each others’ posts for weeks on end, starting off with you praising his most recent graphic design work to him sending a paragraph of heart emojis on the most recent fan art you drew.
Somewhere in between following each others’ spam accounts to tagging each other on Insta story games, he finally slid into your DMs and the rest was history. Sort of.
You knew what people said about online dating, or even just long distance relationships in general, but try as you might it was hard not to fall for Kazunari.
The more you talked to him, the less he stayed as your “funny artist mutual” and soon enough he progressed into the “still funny but also really sweet and cute artist online friend, 10/10 would date if asked” category.
You didn’t bother stifling your laugh as you looked at the message he sent you, immediately liking his selfie before saving it on your phone.
Tumblr media
Okay, no. He can’t just hit you with an “I do wanna meet u already” and then take it back but not fully commit to it!
You waited for him to respond through text, but instead got hit by your ringtone blaring loudly at such an ungodly hour. At the sight of your contact nickname for him, you eagerly answered his call. You rushed to get the first word in, him doing the same unbeknownst to you.
“Kazu-“
“Babe, I-“
The both of you paused, his eventual laughter easing up your tension as you let out a giggle of your own. You mentally told yourself not to be so nervous— Kazunari and you would have this conversation eventually anyway; besides, it wasn’t as if you didn’t want to see him in person. It was quite the opposite, actually. You just figured that conversations like this needed to happen in call, at least.
“Shoot, should probs shut up so Mukkun doesn’t wake up,” Kazunari commented, his voice volume already lowered, “do you wanna go first?” He asked.
“Yeah,” you replied with resolve. You gathered up your thoughts, formulating the next set of sentences that would leave your mouth, before ultimately deciding on one question. “I just need to know first… how serious were you about meeting up irl?”
“I mean, that wasn’t what I meant when I sent the message? But like, it’s still valid, you know?” he paused, but when you didn’t say anything he decided to continue, “it’s not the first time I’ve thought about meeting you. I think about it a lot, actually.”
It was a bit of a shame the two of you chose to voice call instead of video call. You would’ve loved to see your boyfriend’s face just about now, though you supposed it wouldn’t be a good idea to have a heart attack a quarter to 4 in the morning.
Plus, you weren’t sure you could handle him teasing and throwing compliments at you due to your clearly visible elation, if the upwards stretch of your lips was anything to go by.
“Babe? You still there? Did you pass out, or…” In reality it had only been a few seconds, but still you didn’t want to leave him hanging. Not when the two of you were talking about something that meant taking the next step in your relationship.
“I’m still here, Kazu,” you reassured him. Your voice shook slightly, a sliver of your excitement slipping through the cracks. “I’m the same. Like, no lie I was shocked we brought it up like this, but, um… I’m ready, and if you’re ready, too, I want to meet up with you.”
“Wait, wait, wait— hol’ up! So we’re finally going—“ he laughed for the second time tonight, a fuzzy-wuzzy warmth escaping as its sound equivalent. “Wahh! Of course I’m ready! Can’t wait to finally see what a cutie you are irl♪ Hngg, how am I supposed to sleep now? I’m too hyped up!”
You rolled your eyes, despite understanding exactly how he felt. His infectious cheerfulness amplified the blossoming commotion occurring inside your brain. Despite not making any official plans yet, the prospect of finally meeting up had you frenzied.
Still, one of you had to be at least slightly responsible. While you wouldn’t claim to know his daily schedule, if Veludo Arts was anything like your university, he should be as swamped with workload as you were. Actually, maybe that was the reason he was up so late? That’s how it was for you, anyway excluding the fact that you took a break to stamina clear.
“It’s nearly 4 am… do you wanna continue planning this tomorrow? Err, rather, in a couple hours? After our lectures end, maybe?” You asked, though by the tiny whine Kazunari let out you had a feeling he wasn’t going to agree so quickly.
“Ehh? Why don’t we do it now? I have so many ideas about where we could go, and what we could do… oh! I could introduce you to everyone in Mankai! I’m sure they’d love-“
“I’d love to meet them too,” you cut him off, tone as firm as you could manage at this time, “and I want to hear your ideas, really, but I just know if I let you keep talking the sun will rise before we’ve even decided on a date.”
You chuckled as Kazunari let out a sound of protest, though you had a feeling he knew you weren’t wrong about your assessment. “Zuzu~ Let’s go to sleep now, okay?”
His phone microphone picked up on an audible gasp. “Ehh, how come you rarely call me Zuzu? It’s cute when you say it!”
“Because it sounds like a nickname you’d give to a Pokemon!”
“Uwu, maybe I’ll get Itarun to lend me a copy? Then I’ll catch the cutest Pokemon and name it after you~” you nearly groaned at how fluffy he was being. Seriously, he was distracting you from your agenda of going to sleep!
“Kazu! Stop flirting with me at 4 am or we might not fall asleep!”
Though you couldn’t see him, you were 200% sure he had a wide grin plastered on his face right now. “Me? Using tactics to get you to keep talking with me? Never,” he claimed, professing his false innocence.
“Well, I’m not falling for it! I may not be able to physically tuck you in bed right now, but I can in spirit!”
“Oh!? Then can you give me a goodnight kiss in spirit, too?”
At this point, you were sure that even with just a poke on the cheek you’d be able to feel the heat beginning to envelop your face.
As Kazunari finished laughing, you let the quiet lull of the night seep in the conversation for a few moments before gently breaking it.
“I’d rather give you a kiss irl, though.”
And just like that, you claimed victory over the game he started. With how Kazunari sputtered, a part of you worried that he’d disturb his roommate’s slumber. Still, an even bigger part of you was smug to have him speechless for that much of a duration.
“Babeeeee,” he drawled, “you’re so, so, so unfair… I, like, really want to hold you tight right now…” he murmured, the rustle of his bedsheets discernible through the call. You found yourself nestling onto your bed, too, snuggling up to a soft pillow.
“Soon,” you suddenly yawned, your tiredness seeming to have settled in the comfier you got on the bed. “We’ll have a lot of time to plan tomorrow and the days after, yeah?”
Kazunari let out a hum in agreement, a comfortable silence following suit.
“Kazu?” You muttered quietly, careful not to disturb your peaceful atmosphere.
“Yeah?”
“I love you. Good night,” you said, heart aflutter as you heard his response.
“I love you, too, cutie~ sweet dreams♪” he said in an unbelievably soft tone, before ending the call.
After quickly connecting your phone to a charger, you fell back atop your bed and hugged your pillow tight, already anticipating the day you’d be able to hold Kazunari in your arms, and you in his.
Morning come, you hastily prepared for class as you always did. You fell into your usual routine— as soon as you were out of the bathroom, you selected an outfit and went over the things you needed to bring to uni today.
You stopped for a minute; taking a quick selfie to post on your story and emphasise your exhaustion to your close friends, before making yourself some breakfast. Within less than 5 minutes, your phone pinged— a recorded message from one of your favourite people this early in the morning.
"Mornin' piko☆ You're looking cute as always today♪”
There was no way you would admit to how many times you replayed it to Kazunari, but even so it was a good way to keep you positive for the rest of the day.
Tumblr media
You don’t remember Veludo Way being this rowdy, though it was hard to trust your memory when it’s probably been years since you’ve last visited. Somehow, it was not tough to imagine Kazunari walking around and performing here— the liveliness of the streets difficult to not associate with one of the liveliest people you knew.
While the original plan was to meet up at a cute and trendy cafe you saw all over people’s SNS, the two of you agreed to meet up somewhere less crowded and more meaningful to him— the theatre which he’d performed at multiple times in the past.
As you saw the building from a distance, you wondered when you’d be able to see him on stage, too.
A shout of your name pulled you out of your thoughts, and you couldn’t help yourself from running over to meet up faster with the figure that was jumping and waving around in your direction.
Had you any sense left, you probably would have told him that you didn’t want him embarrassing himself in public, but in reality it was quite apparent that you were just as excited to finally see him in person.
“Kazunari!” you can’t help the little shriek you let out as you finally embrace him, only joyous laughter and each others’ names escaping the both of your lips. When you finally got a good look at Kazunari, you nearly wanted to bury yourself into his shirt again.
Everything still seemed so unbelievable. That this was real. That it was finally happening. It almost felt like the dreams you’ve had of this moment many times before.
“How are you so beautiful in person, too?! It’s totes like I’m falling in love with you again♪” Kazunari exclaimed, squeezing you one more time before finally settling on holding hands with you. “Ahh! I super, duper love you!”
Except it wasn’t. There was nothing imaginary about his warmth, and the way his words made you feel, and the beaming sunshine of a smile he aimed at you.
“I love you, too!”
Tumblr media
want to order again?
220 notes · View notes
sporadic-writer · 5 years
Text
Like Nobody’s Watching
Sebastian Stan x Reader
Warnings: swearing that’s mainly it
Summary: in a city of millions, someone is always watching you be yourself (that sounds creepy, sorry I can’t think of a better phrasing)
-----------------------------
It's classic NYC gridlock. Luckily, it was Thursday evening so it wasn't horrible. Plus, you and your friend driving have some of your favorite songs BLASTING with the windows down so it wasn’t too bad. It was one of the first pleasantly warm nights of the year and of course you had the windows and sunroof open. In New York, a million people pass by and see a million things a day, but pay no mind. It’s the perfect place to act like nobody is watching because in the end no one is really watching. Besides, no one pays much mind to two girls singing screaming along to the AUX. 
The traffic wasn’t horrible. It was very slow moving, but luckily wasn’t too long. Some passed by and were entertained, or sang a long a little bit. Plus, your turn was a few blocks away and seemed to be where the slow down stops. Wanting to break the bored feeling growing in your mind, you decided to unbuckle and stand up out the sunroof. The song continued on with the traffic and you continued to throw your arms out and feel the breeze. It was a perfect night and you looked around at the beautiful city around you.
The song got quiet as it changed and you looked down to your friend in the driver’s seat. “Ah to be a twenty-something in the Big Apple. It’s perfect.” The next song began and your friend cranked it. She looked up to you and you smirked. “Sing it bitch! AM I MORE THAN YOU BARGAINED FOR YET? I’VE BEEN DYING TO TELL YOU ANYTHING YOU WANNA HEAR! CAUSE THAT’S JUST WHO I AM THIS WEEK!” Some people crossing the street laughed at the both of you.
"Y/N some old couple crossing the street didn’t appreciate our show very much. They glared and shook their heads hahah!” She continued to bop along while you smiled and leaned on the roof of the car. A breeze went by again and you smiled at the warm weather.
“Screw em! If they can’t enjoy a free concert that’s on them. Now let’s fucking go, the next chorus is coming. Drop a heart, break a name. We’re always sleeping in, sleeping for the wrong team! WE’RE GOIN’ DOWN, DOWN IN AN EARLIER ROUND. AND SUGAR WE’RE GOING DOWN SWINGING!” You stopped and let her take the rest of it. At the street corner you heard some girls singing as well, just as loud. When you turned to the area of them, smiling, they danced a little and you went along with them. After they kept walking you felt a tap on your leg.
As you looked down, Y/F/N, looked up at you and turned the music down a little. “They aren’t the only ones amused by our antics. That cute guy behind them in the blue hoodie as been watching and laughing since we started.” She pointed back at that direction and you smirked as your gaze followed. Upon realizing who she meant, you froze. 
As you dropped into your seat she looked at you as if you were nuts. “Do you know who that guy is? That is Sebastian Stan. Oh God how could I not notice one of my favorite actors watching me make an ass out of myself. Fate is cruel.”
“Oh come on. He seems cool.” She turned to him and waved. She waved as if it was the most casual thing in the world. And he waved back! “See he wouldn’t wave if he knew you were a freak.”
“I’m gonna ignore how you said ‘knew’ and not ‘thought’ in regards to me being a freak. Still oh dear Lord why. Stop laughing I’m humiliated!” Soon The Anthem by Good Charlotte began and the volume was back up. Both of you sang along again and next thing you knew the car moved closer to your street. 
“It’s not like we were actually screaming. We are just being loud and a tad obnoxious. So a normal Thursday night for us. Seriously relax.” You looked back into the crowd of people walking on the streets. Pretty sure you saw him up ahead, you long forgotten, and you calmed a bit. As the music played the car drove in front of your place.
Walking in, you plopped on the couch and opened your finsta. Then you typed up a post. “Ignore the smiles in this pic. Im ded. Sorry to @(his insta name idk off the top of my head) for witnessing that little concert of me and @friend in the streets of New York. Refunds for the show and therapy can be provided.” Laughing a little you hit post.
“Me my ass. That show was all you. Cute pic though! But come on Y/N he didn’t care. He’s a celeb he has probs seen much weirder. The fact that we even saw someone famous in the first place is cool alone.” You nodded in agreement. Wanting to forget it, you grabbed some nerds turned on Sunny in Philadelphia.
After about 3 episodes in, Y/F/N went to pee so you paused the show and grabbed your phone. What you saw seemed too unbelievable. You called out her name.
“What now?” You shoved your phone in her hands. “What am I looking at? All I see are you instagram notifications.”
“Bitch look closer!” You pointed to the DM notification. “HE messaged me! I’m done.”
“Are you serious? Well let’s open this bad boy. Don’t fight it. Stop! Ok ok. It says, agh fine here take it.” You snatched your phone back and read the message.
Him: No need to apologize. I quite liked it actually. Not everyday you see someone being free like that these days.
You just sat there, soaking everything in. “Why aren’t you replying! Don’t be rude and leave him on read.” You rolled your eyes and typed something up.
You: well to be fair i didnt think anyone was actually watching... my real self isnt quite THAT dorky.. im still sorry you witnessed it
“Happy? I replied.” Almost instantly your phone lit up in his reply. “Damn boy.”
Him: I wouldn’t say dorky. More like cute. Although it was clear you thought no one was genuinely watching lol
“Holy shit. He’s flirting. I repeat he is flirting with ME! At least I think he is.. Is this flirting? This has to be a prank.” You tossed your phone to your friend. Sunny long forgotten on the TV. “Wait what are you saying? Don’t reply yet!”
“Relax. I made it sound like you. Well you but with some balls.” The phone got tossed and you caught it smoothly.
“How did he get in my DMs anyway? My finsta isn’t public. Oh wait never mind he found my real one some how. Oof what is going on right now?”
You: i find it hard to believe an attractive celeb is flirting with me lol how do ik its really you? this seems too good to be true
Him: Doesn’t seem like I’m the only one flirting here. But to be fair this is my personal account. And it’s not everyday I DM a girl I see singing Fall Out Boy out of a car sunroof downtown NYC. How about we meet up Friday evening? Let me prove it’s me.
“Oh my goodness. Y/N got a date with a celebrity! I’m jealous.” You got another message.
Him: Too forward? Or do I just sound creepy?
You: no not at all. and sure why the hell not!
You: wait that may sound rude! I would love to meet up haha this way i can ensure this isnt a prank or learn not to trust social media if it is
Him: You have little trust in the world darling! But awesome, meet me at 7 at the corner you put on your lovely show. Near the Roselight Cafe and Howard’s Personal Fitness. 
You: ha so thats how you stay in such good shape! But alright that works for me
Him: No no that is all me. But you’re witty, I like that. See you then ;)
“Holy shit you have a date with a movie star.” You both sat with wide eyes in slight shock. 
You let out an ironic chuckle. “I have a date with a movie star.” You looked to her and laughed in disbelief some more. “All because I acted like a moron out of your car sunroof.”
-----------------------------
Hope you enjoyed! Like, reblog, and comment my dudes!
50 notes · View notes
tisfan · 6 years
Text
Hook, Line, and Sinker
Title: Hook, Line, and Sinker by @tisfan Link: AO3 Square Filled: R3 - dares/bets Ship: Bucky/Tony, Tony & Rhodey Rating: teen Major Tags: hangover, broship, rhodey is a good bro, dares/bets, blind date, sort of, pre-slash Summary: Tony woke up with a hangover and someone’s phone number. Rhodey doesn’t quite believe it. With Tony’s prize Shelby on the line...  Word Count: 1,885 Created for @tonystarkbingo
A/n: This is the sequel to this February’s Candy Hearts ficlet, Pick-up lines, but the story is self-contained. A requested and tipped fic for @unreliableunseelie
Tony woke up with a head full of cotton batting, a mouth full of dragon shit, and a memory of the previous evening that was entirely lacking.
He managed to roll over, away from the very annoying beam of light -- light, hah, felt more like a brain-destroying laser -- that was flooding his room, at the expense of everything left over in his stomach rebelling. “Oh, god,” he said, and then sprinted for the bathroom.
Okay, sprint was pushing it. Ambled with purpose and direction.
Whatever he’d eaten had probably tasted better on the way down, but since Tony couldn’t remember anything after he and Rhodey hit the third bar, he couldn’t guarantee it. He was just trying to find a bar that had the right ambiance.
He wasn’t sure he’d managed it.
He bid farewell to his late night snack, flushed, rinsed his mouth, spit. Used the bathroom for its other purpose, flushed again.
Considered taking a shower.
Considered not taking a shower.
Honestly, his sadiversary was getting to be old news, and he was too old to be acting like that anymore anyway.
He wasn’t even sure he really missed Steve anymore.
Did he?
He didn’t. Tony decided that, firmly. He did not miss Steve, that wasn’t going to happen anymore.
He tried to remember if he’d decided that last year, too.
Maybe he could go for a big party, his five year sadiversary next year, and then, it could all be over, over, over.
“Or you could just stop,” Tony told his reflection.
Shower.
He could do it.
Not mourning his failed relationships any longer.
He could do that, too.
Tony emptied his pockets; he’d apparently just rolled into bed, since the only thing he was missing from his outfit were his shoes and tie. And god only knew, he might have thrown the tie out last night. He’d been known to do that sort of thing before.
“New man,” he told his reflection. “New life.”
Wallet. Keys. Phone.
Cocktail napkin.
Cocktail napkin?
There were digits on a cocktail napkin. In his pocket.
“Jarvis, call Rhodey,” he told his phone. His phone did its thing while Tony finished getting undressed. “Speaker.”
“There’s coffee already prepped for you downstairs, no you didn’t puke last night before I left,” Rhodey said as soon as he picked up. “Your car is fine, we left it at the garage, and as far as I know, there are no warrants out for your arrest.”
“Thank you for that cheerful morning report,” Tony said. He turned the shower on and shivered as the water didn’t insta-heat and the first blast was cold over his forearm and hand.
“Seems like what you’d want to know,” Rhodey said. “How’s the hangover?”
“I think it’s been worse,” Tony said, stepping into the spray. It was still not as warm as he wanted it to be, so he turned it up some while he waited, cringing all the way in the back of the shower, away from the cold.
Which was stupid, because thirty seconds later it was way too hot and he had to reach through it to turn it down. He should get on the set-my-preferences shower system that would just… chime when it was ready. Like a microwave.
Except, you know, nothing like an actual microwave, because those were dangerous, even on short term exposure.
“You were doing okay, last night,” Rhodey said. “With the drinking. But then you decided to play bertie botts every flavor ice cream last night with some ridiculous little ice cream shop that’s open twenty-four seven and what the hell man, I could not keep you from eating chocolate and jalapeno ice cream at three in the morning.”
“Well, that explains my rude awakening,” Tony said. He considered that for a moment. “Did I say it was good? I mean, it sounds kinda awful, but also intriguing.”
“I didn’t eat it,” Rhodey said. “And I don’t lick another man’s ice cream cone, that’s just wrong. Especially when it’s yours.”
“So what kind did you have?”
“Maple Bacon with Jack Daniels,” Rhodey said without a hint of shame.
“Where’s this ice cream shop again? I think I’d like to go there when I’m sober.”
“We can make that happen, Tones.”
“Great,” Tony said. He filled his luffa with shower gel and was instantly drowning in some vaguely outdoorsy scented soap. “So, tell me, did I score last night?”
“You certainly did not,” Rhodey said.
“Really? Cause I got digits here that say otherwise.”
“That is a fake number, that guy totally did not give you his real number, you were being a total drunken asshole, flirting with some bar-bum. Like the worst lines ever. I wouldn’t date you with those lines.”
“Rhodey, you’ve known me since I was fifteen. I’m pretty sure if you were going to date me, you’d have said something about it by now. Fake number, huh?”
“You don’t remember?”
“I don’t even remember the ice cream, much less flirting,” Tony said.
“Oh, well… too bad. You two totally played tonsil hockey for a while,” Rhodey said.
“I thought you said it was a fake number,” Tony said. He rubbed shampoo into his hair. “So, if we were necking, that seems to counter the theory that it’s fake.”
“It was a pity kiss,” Rhodey said.
“Nobody gives pity kisses,” Tony scoffed. “And even if they did, no one would pity kiss me. I mean, I’m… good looking. Mostly.” He rinsed his hair, let the shower water run down his head for a while. Maybe he could drown in the shower, that might cure the hangover. Of course, it would mean drowning, and that just sounded uncomfortable. Not to mention, the whole being naked and dead thing. Would he even care about his image if he was dead, or would he be too dead to care?
Tony shook his head, which was a mistake.
“Don’t even try that false modesty bullshit, Tony,” Rhodey said. “You know you’re the thing. Mr. Thing, Mr. Third most Eligible.”
“Yeah, I never liked that shit, brings the gold diggers out in full force. One of these days, I’d like someone to like me for… you know. Me.”
“Yeah, Tones, what’s not to like about you?”
“I hear that sarcasm,” Tony said. “And you’re hurting me here, sourpatch. I am hurt. Like, there might be actual tears and everything.”
“Look,” Rhodey said, “you and that guy, you were on the same page last night, but I’m telling you, you were reading totally different books.”
“I’m gonna call him,” Tony said.
Rhodey scoffed. “No, you’re not.”
“I am.” He wasn’t.
“I bet you it’s a false number.”
“Bet you it isn’t.”
“Oh, it’s on, Tones,” Rhodey said. “A hundred dollars says it’s a fake.”
“Five hundred,” Tony said, “verses --” he paused, trying to think of something Rhodey actually wanted that Tony might feel bad about giving him. There wasn’t much; usually Rhodey wouldn’t let Tony give him gifts, not like expensive, real ones, at any rate. And Pepper kept boycotting his idea of buying Rhode Island and renaming it. She said it wasn’t a good tax write off. Spoilsport.
“The Shelby.”
“Wo-- my car?”
“Tony, you have like seventy cars. But I like that one.”
“Deal. I’ll take my winnings in cash, no trade value,” Tony said. “Jarvis, end call.”
Tony got out of the shower and toweled off. Less vigorously than normal because see previously mentioned: hung over. Got his bathrobe and made his way to the kitchen. Punched the button on his coffee machine.
Considered the cocktail napkin and his phone.
Drank his coffee.
Dialed the number.
“Mmmphs?” a voice said, a male voice, even, so Tony figured he might be getting somewhere. “If this isn’t an insanely good looking guy, I’m hanging up.”
“Well, you’re in luck today,” Tony said.
“Do I know you?” the voice wondered. “Because really, I don’t think I made friends with people who were cheerful at… ug… it’s not even nine in the morning, what kind of masochist are you, it’s Saturday.”
Already, a man after my own heart. “Um, this is probably going to sound weird, but uh… did you give your number to anyone last night?”
There was a very long pause and Tony might have thought that the person hung up, except he could hear breathing.
“Yessss,” the man said, tentatively. “If you’re a friend of Sammie’s though, and this is a joke, you let that half-assed--”
“Not a joke--” Tony protested. “I found a cocktail napkin in my pocket, and I was wondering…” Wondering what, actually. If he was the guy from last night, if they’d had a good time, if it was a nice kiss, what’s your name, what do you look like… “would you like to have an ice cream with me. Today?”
“Wha---?” The guy asked. “Are you seriously asking me on an ice cream date after a ten minute conversation in a bar?”
“Why not?” Might as well roll with it, now that he’d gotten started. “Just, no strings or anything, no nothing. Just ice cream and a little get to know you. What, coffee dates are lame, everyone does coffee dates. I drink so much coffee that it’s like having a date at the corner water cooler.”
“Yeah, okay,” the guy said. “Ice cream date. Sure, why not?”
“Okay, so… four o’clock? Um… I’ll, um, text you the address? And… I might have had beer goggles on last night, so, text me back a picture? Just to make sure, because I’m pretty sure the conversation was with an angel, or a model or something.” Tony didn’t actually remember the guy at all, but a little flattery. And he’d win his bet… right? He could part with the car if the picture was scary. Hell, even if the picture wasn’t scary, he owed the guy for letting him know what Rhodey wanted for his next present.
“Sure,” the guy said. “I’ll… uh, see you at four, then.”
“Yep!”
Fortunately, typing in maple bacon jack daniels ice cream in his search engine got him the address for the ice cream shop. He texted his date -- who… had a name. And it was probably a boy’s name, too, except Tony didn’t know it. Fuck.
Then he texted Rhodey: Got a date. Four o’clock. Ice cream shop. Cash only!
A few seconds later, he texted again. Or, if he happened to tell me his name last night and you remember it, I’ll forgive you for betting against me.
New Text From Rhodey: Bucky Barnes.
Tony stared at the screen for a long moment. Then. You’re forgiven for thinking it was a fake number because I’m not sure that’s a real name.
New text from unknown number: Selfie from the gym a few weeks ago.
Attached was a picture of a guy wearing a baseball hat and workout clothes, scowling fiercely and pulling up his shirt to reveal ridiculously sculpted abs.
Tony stared.
“You’d think I’d remember him,” he said wistfully.
Texted back See you at Four.
New text from unknown number: looking forward to it. My first ice cream date since high school.
Tony texted Rhodey again, attaching the picture.
Cash. Only. I lied. You are totally not forgiven. 
54 notes · View notes