#ou mutual friend is my high school friend and her middle school friend

[chernobylbaby04]

Manuel Antonio Guzman

I met Manuel Antonio Guzman when I was 14 years old. I told my grandparents I was going to hang out with my friend, Katie Franks. Katie and I went to our very first backyard show ever. It was in Anaheim across the street from Sycamore Jr. High. For those who know, it was when Riff Raff played (first time I met Zach, he was the naked drummer) and someone ripped the toilet out of the bathroom? Yep! That one. My grandma called me because she had figured out where I really was and I was in trouble. Katie went to school with someone who was senior at Anaheim High School, Pedro Garcia. Pedro drove at the time which meant he could give us a ride. The sooner Katie and I were back at home, the less trouble we would be in. Pedro pulled up to Sycamore Jr. High and I drunkenly opened the backseat door. A face appeared and they said, “Nope!” and pulled the door back closed on me. I was soooo PuNk RoCk and annoyed that I threw my little 32oz. Smirnoff Bottle on the ground and kicked the car. He opened the door and laughed and let me in. That was the first time I met Manny. He was funny, he was cute, he was weird, and he was older. A few short weeks later Pedro invites me to Punk Rock Picnic. I accompany him and Manny joins us. I spent the whole day with Manny. We rode a ferris wheel together, my shoe was falling apart and we went back to the car so he could sew it back together, all that jazz. A week later, Zone 3 was playing at the Riff Haus and my grandparents were nice enough to drop me off. Manny met me there and we snuck off back to his house. I knew Manny was 20 years old, and he knew I was underage. We kissed. We made out. We cuddled. We had sex. When we were done, we did the math of how many years it would take until I was 18. It was 4.5. I did not know what the relationship between me and Manny be, because Katie had told me he was seeing her friend named Taylor. Taylor also went to Anaheim High School. Taylor was 15 years old. The person I broke up with to be with Manny was my high school boyfriend, who I will leave nameless. He was hurt and upset and wanted to talk, but I did not give him the time of day. He came over to the house my grandparents and I had just moved into and climbed through my window. He pinched my pinky toe to wake me up. He was really upset but we decided to talk things out. Unfortunately, my grandmother heard a boy in my bedroom in the middle of the night and tried to come into my room. My ex-boyfriend snuck back out my window as my grandmother came in. I was officially kicked out. I called Pedro Garcia and I lived in his car for 2 weeks. This was far from the first time I had been homeless. When I was 13 years old I tried living with my mom because my grandfather would get really drunk and kick me out of the house. My family struggled with my grandfather’s alcoholism. He was a working class blue collar man who had broken his neck on a job site. For four years my family bounced from motel to motel. My grandmother worked cleaning houses to keep us afloat, and my grandfather spent his mornings drinking. He was violent when he drank and I got into the habit, young, to just leave. Sometimes I would stay with my mother, but she was always in and out of jail or did not have an actual place to stay. She abused drugs, would give me drugs, and have various men around. I really did not have family at the time. So being back on the streets was not anything new for me. I eventually told Manny after a few days that I was living in Pedro’s car, and he insisted that I stayed with him. A warm bed, food, and someone who paid attention to me was what every child needed. I did not get that in my home life, but I got it from him. I put him on a pedestal for taking care of me and we never talked about my age. This however did not last very long at all. A good mutual friend had a recently divorced mother with a three story house. Her name was Ms. Kitty. Ms. Kitty insisted a 20 year old’s bedroom was no place for a 14 year old girl. She took me in and I lived with her for 5 months. A few weeks into me living with Kitty, I caught Manny cheating on me with a girl names Melissa. He had a Myspace blog online that was meant to be private, but it was not. He said specifically, I can have Melissa one day, and Ashley the next. Instead of confronting him about this, I did what every 14 year old girl would do. I made out with my ex boyfriend!!! Childish, huh? Well, that’s because I was a child! Manny found out and to him and I both we call this the “Blog War Era.” Because for the next 2 months or so, Manny publically bashed me for being this self-serving slut. And me? I just dedicated a bunch of bad GG Allin songs to him. We eventually let it go, and I continued my life without talking to him. 5 months into me living with Ms. Kitty, I fell into a deep deep depression. I needed family, I hadn’t talked to my grandmother in months and she missed my 15th birthday. My heart was broken. I had severe abandonment issues. I had emailed my grandmother about how lonely and lost I felt, but she did not respond right away. One night, at 15, I decided I couldn’t go on, and I drank a bottle of sleeping aid, took various pills from Ms. Kitty’s medicine cabinet, wrote a letter, filled the bathtub up with water. Put tape on my mouth, cut my wrist, and waited to fall asleep. I had flashes of people pulling me out of the bathroom, of opening my eyes for small moments to see a different face looking over me each time, and to my grandmother and mother taking me home. No therapy. No medication. That same night, my grandparents went to the bar and did not come home for a very long time. I grew up with a sense of purposelessness. I grew up without self-esteem, and I grew up with severe abandonment issues. I lived with my grandparents off and on for a few more months but I started drinking and doing drugs more and more. April 1st, 2010, I moved out of my grandparents’ house again. I was living in and out of different parks, schools, and churches. A friend, Bailee Wilcox from my high school let me stay with her and her family. I lived there for 8 months. Bailee’s sister, started dating Pedro Garcia… and Pedro Garcia was best friends with Manny. Therefore, I saw Manny around a lot more. It was before my 16th birthday that Manny and I inevitably started dating again. We had a sexual relationship. A very sexual relationship. I would ditch school just to be with him, or he would pick me up from school in his ~cool~ 1999 Ford Mustang. Briefly, I caught him cheating on me again with a girl he had an online relationship with. Her name was Victoria. Victoria had a tumblr called fleeting-m00ns. She was 16 years old. Manny and I broke up briefly, for about a month. And he called me one evening and we met each other at the Airplane Park in Anaheim. He immediately held me, started kissing me, and asked if we could go back to his dad’s house. I was dumb, naïve, impressionable, and agreed. I wanted this dumb man to love me. I did not care about how much older he was than me or what those implications were. We went back to his house and we slept together. I was on my period. I went home to Bailee’s that night with Manny as my boyfriend again. Manny, at this point, was 21ish years old. As time went on, I decided to quit doing drugs, I did not drink as much, and I had a job working at the Brea Mall. The house I lived in was a party house so I spent less and less time there. Eventually that put a strain on the relationship I had with the people I lived with, as I spent less and less time there and would not come home. Manny insisted that it was not a healthy environment for me and that I should just stay with him; where I was not surrounded by people who did still party. I loved feeling protected and cared for. I allowed myself to abide by his wishes. If I chose to stay at my friend’s house, he insisted I was not allowed to go into the living room, I was only allowed to stay in the bedroom. I will provide a screenshot of the facebook message I received from not listening to his wishes. September 20th, 2011; “You stupid fucking bitch you can’t just fucking stay in the bedroom and away from the living room. You know I fucking hate it when you’re in there bt you never fucking listen because you’re always so fucking right and mighty and have to fucking be in the living room when you know what the fuck happens there. STOP IT. And never call me again from there, because when ou do, the first thing I’m going to ask is if you’re there, and if you’re fucking lying to me, I will never talk to you again.”I listened. I was afraid of him not staying with me, meant I truly had no one else in the world. I was very submissive. He preferred me to be submissive in the bedroom and in person. He would, what he liked to call, “fuck my face.” He would shove me up against walls (I will provide screenshots of that evidence as well), and use degrading language. There was no love making, or passion, or sensitivity. I did not know what normal relationships looked like. What I knew was he was my protector, I am safe when I am with him. That is all. I sabotaged the relationship I had with Bailee’s family and for those who have known me for a long time, knows what happened. I was homeless again. I could not go back home, I was 16, and I lived in Pearson Park. I dropped out of high school. Sometimes I would stay with my best friend, Danielle, and sometimes I would stay with my sister. Manny did not like me staying with my sister because he told me she was toxic for me. He did not like my sister and would treat her poorly when she was around. If I was at my sister’s house, Manny would shut me out, ignore, more or once told me to stay out of his life. I learned quickly who I was and was not allowed to talk to. If I had friends from my old high school, I wasn’t allowed to talk to them because they might ~be friends with Bailee.~ I was not allowed to go to backyard shows because he “feared for my safety.” I fed into all of it. I truly believed that no one else cared about  where I was or who I was with. Manny was my only source of family, love, and protection. It was the way he wanted it. If I wanted to take the bus to work, he’d insist on driving me. If my shoes were falling apart, he would yell at me for not telling him so he could get me new ones. If it was raining, and I chose to walk, I would be in trouble for not asking for a ride. My entire relationship with him, I walked on eggshells. A good friend of mine, Joey, almost punched me in the face once because I faked punching him in his balls. It was a hilarious to me and Joey. Manny told me I was not allowed to talk to Joey anymore because he was supposedly abusive. If I wanted to see friends or family, I had to sneak around. (Thankfully he forgot about the Joey thing, and let me still see him, I did NOT remind him). Simultaneously, I would catch Manny cheating on me with various women. Grace, Angie, Janet, Rachael (Mouth, for those of you who know her). Once, Manny broke up with me at his house and was texting Mouth saying I was crazy and he was so happy to get rid of me. He told her he was sick of me and he needed to breathe. The next day was my birthday and he picked me up because we still had plans. He must of have been real horny because he asked for me back, fucked me twice, and I was expected to carry on like we never  broke up. Every time, Manny would tell me that him cheating on me was only because he was under so much pressure of being an adult and taking care of me, a minor. He would say that if I truly loved him, I would never leave him. He would tell me that if I broke up with, I would have to move out of his house. I had to swallow all of it and keep going. Some nights, I couldn’t take it though. It was the first of me starting to “lash out” or what Manny calls, “psycho.” One night I bashed my head against a wall. Some nights, I would just leave and walk around for hours, then wait somewhere that I knew he would find me at. Just to be found. Just to be taken care of and cared about. There was a brief time that Manny went to Mexico for 3 weeks. We broke up online and I took it like a champ. I was so relieved. I used the time to focus on myself. I had already started going to Gilbert Continuation School, so I spent my time catching up on years of not going to school. Manny spent those 3 weeks on tumblr telling his followers that when he got back home from Mexico, he expects me to “respect his space.” And that he won’t, “deal with my bullshit.” People would comment on these posts supporting him because he painted me into looking like I was this obsessive monster. I will be including those screenshots as well. When he broke up with him, I wished him the best. The very hour Manny came home from Mexico, he SOBBED to me about how he was going to be a better boyfriend for me, and how he would never hurt me again and that he didn’t want to lose me. I was so hurt about how he painted me on the internet but I was NEVER EVER EVER EVER allowed to talk about it online or to friends because HE WAS A GROWN ASS MAN AND IF I SAID ANYTHING AT ALL, HE COULD GO TO JAIL. I took him back. Nothing changed. I ended up in Foster Care 6 months before my 18th birthday. Manny and I were still together. I was living in a group home and he was fucking a girl named Nicole. I had no idea. I protected his name from social workers and different foster parents I had. Eventually, Manny’s mother, Ofelia took me in. Bless her heart. She always told me, “I don’t see you as my son’s girlfriend, I see you as my daughter.” Her and I are still close to this day and I love her very much. Time went on, I turned 18, I entered transitional housing, and I got my own apartment. Manny was still cheating on me though. But now he didn’t have any more excuses. I wasn’t a teen anymore, he didn’t have to hide from authorities… This was just who he was. We broke up when I met Zach. I hated Manny. I hated him so much from years of what he put me through. As I got older and started to build a life for myself and build new relationships, I realized how much control I let him have over me. Who I was and was not allowed to see, what family I could or couldn’t talk to, what jobs I was or wasn’t allowed to have.  All while he slept with other women both older and younger than me at times. But I still talked to Manny.One afternoon he brought up that while I was in the group home, he was sleeping with someone else. Manny brought up even proposing to me to marry him that day. He cried, he came clean, he said he took advantage of me and how sickened he was with himself. He said I was just a child and I deserved so much better. I cried… I even considered breaking up with Zach. I was just 18 and I never knew my life without Manny and I was so so so afraid to find out. I had this attachment, and he still had so much control over me. Then his phone lit up, and it was girl named Janet. The messages were dirty and sexual. I lost my absolute shit. I picked up a knife from a plate of cake that was in my room and I cut myself. I held It up to my throat and told him that if I died it would be on his conscious. Manny wrestled to get the knife out of my hands. I ran to the bathroom and locked myself in there. Manny told me that if I did not let myself out of the bathroom he would kill himself. He was sobbing outside of the bathroom door and I wanted him to hurt. I did not care for one fucking minute what he did to himself. But I opened the door anyways. He pulled his phone camera out and started to record me. He started to narrate what was happening. He said, “really you’re going to hurt me? This is who you are, this is who she is…” So that he could have something to show people. So that he could tell people how crazy I was. I retorted by saying on camera, “tell them how old I was Manny, I was 14, tell them that, you’ll never tell the truth.” We did not talk for 4 years. I would occasionally look at his tumblr page and see what he would say about me. I’d occasionally get drunk and call and say something like, “you’re fucking stupiddddd” and hang up. Time healed, Zach and I made up.. We moved on. And I have been living my life ever since.Zach and I broke up, and I started dating someone else. It took me years to heal and I still am not there. I occassionaly still have suicidal tendencies. Or have the horrible habit to try and control the outcomes of situations. I still have abandonment issues.Manny sent me an email a year ago. Essentially wanting to talk things out. I agreed because I wanted a sense of validation. We met at the Continental Room in Fullerton. Manny showed up drunk. He immediately said, “you’re ass still looks just as good as the day I met you.” WHAT MANNY, WHEN I WAS 14??? BECAUSE  THAT’S WHEN YOU FIRST MET ME. He said he learned “new things in the bedroom,” and asked me multiple times to go and get a hotel room with him. He made multiple attempts to kiss me. I politely left the continental room and left Manny alone. That’s all I needed, validation. Yep, Ash, Manny is a creep, it wasn’t all in your head. He had hit me up and asked if he left his ID in my car. He emailed me saying he doesn’t remember what happened that night and that he thinks we’re “cool now.” I will include that email as well. Manny also sent me an email admitting he lied to people about me trying to stab him. So!!! Did I try and stab him? No, I did not. Do I wish now? Hahaha, no. But really…And you know what, I confronted him about all of this. And he agreed, he said, in the end of all of this, he was an adult, and I was a child. I told him it wasn’t right for me to threaten suicide, but to NEVER EVER leave out the part that he was a rapist, and he said he wouldn’t. And a year later, after he tried to sleep with me, he comes to all of you to tell you that I was a psycho crazy ex stalker and that he fears for his life and BLAH BLAH BLAH. It’s fucking boring. Manny, I’m sorry trauma serves you in a way where your memory is fuzzy. But my trauma NEVER lets me forget. Fuck you. Lizz, I’m sorry, you are an apologist. He is a rapist. There is proof, you support him, you’re an apologist. So continue to brag about how many orgasms you gave me and cry about how you’re relationship with a child did not work out the way you wished it did, but when you tell your story, don’t forget to include the part where you fucked a child for 4 years. You’re sick. Eat shit, Die. Seacrest Out.

#rapist orangecounty orangecountyphotography foxisstrange manuelguzman statutoryrape harrassment

[thelarryficrecplace]

hi love!! do you know any good nerd!harry fics?? thank you so much, hope you have a good day X

Hi! Check out the Harry nerd tag! Here’s some more for you:

Want You More Than A by TheCellarDoor:

Summary: Falling in love with your step-brother’s best friend is a disaster enough. When he happens to be the boy everyone loves and you’re a nerd who wears sweater vests and cries during rom-coms, it takes it to a whole new level.

Word count: 77,538

Of All That Surrounds Us by zanyemajik:

Summary: “Then just–fuck, Harry, tell him you’ve been in love with him since the moment he spilled orange juice all over your N64 and just work from there.”

Harry snorts a laugh despite himself. “Yeah.”

“I’m serious, mate,” Niall insists. “Every time something happens, you act like you and Louis–like you two haven’t basically been an item for ten fucking years. It’s always been like this Harry, you’ve just.” Niall glances at the ceiling and shakes his head, trying his best to soften his tone. “You’re too much of a fucking idiot to notice.”

Or, the high school AU where all five boys grow up in New York City, Harry’s fingers won’t stop shaking, Louis has an affinity for cupcakes and alcohol, Zayn thinks he knows what he’s doing, Liam actually knows what he’s doing, the contestants won’t stop humping Drew Carey, and everything is really all about Niall.

Word count: 20,046

Hate Me To The Moon by harrystylesandstuff:

Summary: The last thing Harry wanted was to spend his entire summer stuck with his dad’s new fiancée and her kids. He wants no more when he learns she’s a very religious dictator, raising a sixteen year old nun and a clean cut potential priest ass kisser.

Everything takes a slightly different turn, however, when Harry finds out his future step-brother is actually the rude stranger he caught sucking off a guy in a pub, far from the reserved Christian his mom thinks he is…

AU where Harry is a sexy nerd, Louis is a great actor, and they both pretend to hate each other’s guts to convince themselves they’re not feeling things future step-brothers shouldn’t feel…

Word count: 83,616

Sun-kissed Hurricane, Perfect Storm by iwillpaintasongforlou:

Summary: Harry is the quiet kid in the back of his statistics class who writes a lot and dreams about Louis’ cheekbones . Louis needs a statistics tutor ASAP before he flunks and the quiet kid in the back of the class seems like a good choice. Harry wants to help Louis however he can and Louis wants to see how much he can make Harry blush.

Word count: 7,692

Four Letters, Seven Points by LibbyWrites:

Summary: Louis was pretty sure that a nerd who plays Scrabble as a hobby could only be boredom personified. Harry proved him utterly wrong.

Word count: 20,890

little wings on my shoes by juliusschmidt:

Summary: ou have C Lunch?” Louis asks, peering over at Harry’s work. The problem Harry’s just finished is printed neatly, the correct answer circled. Harry’s finger marks the next problem in his book as he copies it onto the page. It doesn’t look like he’s stealing the answers out of the back. Nice.

He’s dimpled and smart.

And probably gay. 

[The American High School AU in which no one is cool (except Niall) and Harry wears a rainbow bracelet.]

Word count: 39,487

This Offer Stands Forever by Tomlinsontoes:

Summary: Harry is who high school kids would define as a nerd, he loved going to class and studying, he was just good at school work and saw nothing wrong with liking it. He signs up to tutor students at the middle school down the road where he ends up helping Lottie Tomlinson, younger sister to the ever popular and gorgeous Louis Tomlinson who is also a senior and in a few classes of Harry’s. Harry might have a crush on him and not so sure how to act around Louis but hopes he can get close to the other boy and learn everything about him.

Word count: 78,261

Mutual - We’ve Discussed It by ariadne_odair:

Summary: It’s like he’s in his own world, the noises of people screaming and laughing and bitching drifting into nothing. It’s just him, and this boy, and warm, warm skin under his palms.

Harry looks up, and he sees blue, blue eyes, and caramel coloured hair, and pink lips. There’s a beat of silence, and all Harry can do is stare, and his heart is beating wildly, his face warm and -

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” snarls Louis Tomlinson, and kicks him in the shin.

Word count: 26,944

Supposed to Be by kikikryslee:

Summary: “I’m making a movie for a film competition, and I want you to be in it,” Harry told Louis. “I think you would be a great leading actor in it.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s you. I mean, who wouldn’t want to know all about the amazing Louis Tomlinson? It would be a great movie.”

“You don’t have some weird crush or, like, secret obsession with me, do you?” Louis asked.

Harry bit his tongue so he didn’t say “Ew, I have standards.” He didn’t think that would go over well.

Of course, that was assuming Louis understood what that meant.

Or, the Geek Charming AU where Harry’s a film geek, Louis’ a popular jock, and they both need each other to get what they want.

Word count: 26,611

it’s kinda hot in here by ballsdeepinjesus:

Summary: “Is that a moth on your stomach?”or nerdy harry is hiding some stuff under his dorky clothes and louis fucks him in a locker room

Word count: 3,146

#asks #anon #larry #larry au #larry fics #larry fic #larry fic rec #fics #fic rec #fic recs #larry fic recs #larry stylinson #larry stylinson au #larry stylinson fics #nerd harry #high school au