#but god lmaooo

[sexysilverstrider]

this tweet is SO funny 2023s top 5 consists of kieran the local 14 year old whos surrounded by a literal sword gijinka, two dangerous curse bearers and an adult woman who is the reigning champion for 2 years in a row

#my boy about to weep someone hold him #i wipe his tears!!!! #like hes just there lmaooo #i mean i understand why he got top 5 #as he should hes high in all womens hearts #but god lmaooo #kieran my sayang u will always be the protag in everyones eyes #fafar yaps #about pokemon

[bumblebeebats]

I must say, as a non-american (who even LIVED in the US for several years), all these state polls really look to me like:

#yes i went to school in the US and memorized all the states and capitals in 5th grade #but by god if i never learned anything else about them lmaooo #states poll

[thegreendiamondart]

Narinder’s April Fools prank on the bishops

Im slightly iffy on my design for Nari when he’s a god. I might tweak it so there can be a tiny bit more gold included.

Versions without text and blur!

#how many times do you think he wishes he punted lamb while he used to be a god? #id say that it is a reoccuring thought with everytime the lamb does something dumb #and yes i gave him fancy ass red eyeliner #cuz yes he slays like that #literally and figuratively after fighting the bishops lmaooo #tgdart #art #digital art #cotl #cult of the lamb #cotl fanart #cotl narinder #cotl narilamb #drawing

[willowser]

aww aww katsuki coming home to find you and your kiddos in the kitchen, a disarray of gingerbread and icing and candies spread out across the dining room table.

you'd managed to dye your daughters frosting pink, and she's jumping up and down on her tippy-toes when she sees him, grinning so hard the tendons in her neck are straining. she'd wanted to build and decorate her own gingerbread house this year, but so far she's spent the last twenty minutes being very particular about only the first wall.

"daddy!" she leans her head all the way back when he puts his hand on her face, giggling beneath his palm with her little squished nose. "look at mine, look at mine!"

your wobbly son jumps up in his own chair, using the table as leverage to balance himself as he lets out a squeal of gibberish that vaugely sounds like an echo of what his sister is saying. at the excited pitch in his voice, her head whips around, free from katsuki's grip as her brows furrow.

"he's not even decorating anything," she protests—and she's not wrong; whatever your little boy is doing hardly classifies as 'decorating', and is more like 'eating all the frosting he can before getting caught'. there is a mess of sugar dried all around his mouth.

still, your son squeals in his chair, jumping up and down with even more energy when you place a hand on his butt, in case he slips. the promise of you only encourages him, and katsuki reaches across the table to snatch him up when he tries to get his little knee up on the surface.

your daughter's frown grows; sharing attention remains a soft spot for her. instead of saying anything, she only makes an annoyed little sound and presses her cheek into her dad's hip.

"stuff's gonna give you cavities," katsuki murmurs, though he picks up a few red and green candies and shares them with your already sugary boy—who hums happily. "need a toothbrush for christmas."

"no," your daughter pulls back and tugs on his belt loops, sneering up at him playfully when he pinches her nose. "you have cavities!"

katsuki makes a point to bare his teeth at her, and then presses his forehead to his son and does the same until they're both giggling. "ain't me, bighead,"

"you're a bighead!"

"yeah, 'n i am big, so what's your excuse?" a wicked little grin splits his face when she starts swinging on him, and he deposits your son into your lap before scooping her up off her feet, her girlish scream vibrant and happy in the space around you.

katsuki waits until she calms down a bit, holding her to his chest like a baby, before coming around the table to get a good look at her little pink masterpiece. he presses his mouth into her hair, like he does with you, and her little ruby eyes sparkle when he murmurs, "looks good, kid,"—just to her and only to her.

#🥺🥺🥺🥺 #she just wants her dad !!! all to herself !! 🥺 #no stinky little brothers !!!! 😤 #god i had to really consciously stop myself from 'yall need a toothbrush for christmas' #LMAOOO #no YALL #your daughter grows up with such a SMART ASS MOUTH #just like HER FATHER #always got something to say back !!! sassy pants !!!! #cw children #✿ willow writes #✿ thoughts: bakugou #✿ theme: dad bakugou

[galaghiel]

a meeting of two mikes

#fnaf #michael afton #mike schmidt #me doods #the height difference ajsksnsksl i can'tttt #my au michael is 6'7 jesus christ movie mike is fucking tiny lmaooo #au michael looking at his alt version is just 'god i wish that was me' constantly in his head #i was inspired by that post talking abt the game and movie version meeting #i wanted to do one except w my ver of michael

[teranobriss]

Emma and Ted in the background of Show Stoppin Number are everything to me

#ted got so into it #god look at his goopy smile #tag yourself lmaooo #hatchetfield #starkid #hatchetverse #team starkid #tgwdlm #the guy who didn't like musicals #emma perkins #ted spankoffski #lauren lopez #joey richter

[skellagirl]

Gordon/Barney/Alyx is really really funny to me conceptually bc it's like, two hot geniuses in their 20s who look at the 40-something smartass who hangs around and go 'yeah that guy. we both want him carnally'

#and they're SO right #half life #half life 2 #gordon freeman #alyx vance #barney calhoun #freemance #valhoun #freehounce #idk what the hell their poly ship name is sorry lol #(me. posting about a ship with an age gap on the 'can't be normal about age gap ships' website: #SURE HOPE THERE ISN'T ANY AGE GAP DISCOURSE IN HERE) #this was the first time I've drawn any of these characters in LITERAL YEARS and. wow........ #feels so crazy that this was the fandom that got me to join tumblr in the first place (in 2011!!!!) and I used to draw them ALL THE TIME #interests change I guess #but I think I'll always come back to hl and portal occasionally. they're too much a part of my dna at this point LOL #my art #description in alt text #oh my god I just went back through my half life tag and the last time I drew these three was when I drew that freehounce meme LMAOOO #how serendipitious

[shima-draws]

FROBIN

#FROBIN REAL!!!!!! #One Piece #Frobin #Franky #Nico Robin #Shima speaks #Oh my god. They're actually so cute omg omg #LOOK AT HIM CATCHING HER AND SETTING HER DOWN LIKE A TRUE GENTLEMAN #(Ignoring Sanji in the bg LMAOOO)

[clownsuu]

This was a must to doodle 😔🥄

Also this too, it plagued my noggin as well

#I got u bee 👍 LMAOOO #Welcome home #welcome home home #welcome home frank #welcome home julie #welcome home sally #frank frankly #julie joyful #sally starlet #FINALLY HOME APPRECIATION #and it’s just home being a darling too G A H #God I love home he’s so pookie bear #Also looks like he also goes by “they/it”

[math-is-math]

“The next thing I knew I had him around the waist and was squeezing the daylights out of him…”

I’ve been rereading the outsiders and I shit y'all not I've been waiting 6 YEARS to draw this exact image. This vision has been in my head ever since I read the hospital scene for the first time 6 fucking years ago and I kept waiting until my skills were good enough to take a crack at it and I finally did it. Never give up on your dreams kids.

Anyway I love a good hurt/comfort moment this moment reigns supreme forever 💪

#art #literature #the outsiders #the outsiders fanart #ponyboy curtis #ponyboy curtis fanart #darry curtis #darry curtis fanart #curtis brothers #oh my god a post that’s not total drama lmaooo #this was very self indulgent #raahhhhh this part gets me everytime i swear #its just so sweet like YES HE DOES LOVE YOU PONY #*cries in hurt/comfort* #anyway i can't believe i've never made fanart for the outsiders tho #crazy...

[devouringbodies]

hannibal lecter - eat your young, hozier

#hannibal #hannigram #hozier #eat your young #hannibal lecter #nbc hannibal #will graham #i fucking did it oh my god #take it ive been staring at it for hours lmaooo

[avalencias]

something something you can always tell when i’m extra extra stressed out by my posting habits, feat. the gorls

#stray gods #grace stray gods #freddie stray gods #ok I can go to sleep now 😌 #hello i’ve missed them #my things #I only kind of used a reference as per usual 🥴 #shoutout to the ana tijoux concert for being (a) incredible and (b) using bisexual lighting #it was. beautiful #pretty sure I put the comparison on twitter lmaooo

[finalgirlsamwinchester]

guy who so desperately tries to find god. who wants to have faith in a higher authority to guide him out of the hole he's in. from the weight of guilt from simply existing, as the person he is. but every time he thinks he's answered his higher calling it turns out he's made the Morally Incorrect choice and his path to goodness and holiness was the road to the devil all along

#now trusting god will give you a way out? there's your real crime!!! #guy betrayed by the protestant promise of a direct connection with god. but is also somehow. joan of arc. #see he never achieves actual martyrdom tho bc he's not allowed to stay dead lmaooo #sam somehow the most unintentionally catholic AND protestant character of all time #dean the atheist who sees religious predestination as the curse it is from the get go. framed as the narrative's Real Moral Authority #but also in the process reifying patriarchal familial power n authority. very very important Value of the Church #i don't think it's that deep. the show's attempt at critiquing christianity. but the way it reinforces christian cultural values??? #'religious predestination and absolute faith in a higher authority...bad' #nice nice ok tell me more? #“so you should put your faith in family. in your patriarch (big brother)” #????????? #the thematic incoherence of it all. it's like the world's stupidest puzzle box to me. i can't leave it alone. #sam = maybe i can find god thru following my destined path. wait oh shit. #cas = maybe i can find god thru rebellion and seeking my own destiny. wait oh shit. #dean = god is fucking dead and me i also feel not so good #the “guy who so desperately wants to find god parallel” <- me coming out as a secret sastiel fan #both of them...finding god in de-[sniper on the roof kills me in one shot] #spn bible studies #j.txt

[littlenimart]

// even if this is something that cannot be allowed, the flames jump higher still //

(my friends had a Good Omens S2 bingo where the winner chose their prize. @bargainbinsquid got the highest score and asked that the rest of us make them “good omens yuri.” this is my tribute.)

#good omens #vocaloid magnet #vocaloid #ineffable husbands #all good omens. is Yuri. to me. #I spent way too long on this trying to get that weird over-dodged 2010 internet anime art style #I love rachel tho so all time spent was time well spent lmaooo #bingo rules were we all made our own bingo cards and the person who got bingo first or barring that had the most boxes checked won #boxes were all s2 predictions of various levels of seriousness. ranged from /god is on earth/ to /A and C kiss with tongue/ lmao

[alma-torran]

this is for a very niche audience but: if you enjoyed Lockwood & Co as well as The Bastard Son And The Devil Himself on Netflix you should 100% go watch Dead Boy Detectives!! It's the perfect mix between the two of them while being amazingly fun, fresh & comforting!!

#tbsatdh #half bad #the bastard son & the devil himself #the bastard son and the devil himself #lockwood and co #lockwood netflix #lockwood & co #lw&co #lw & co #dead boy detectives #dbd #dead boy detective agency #It's!! Queer!!! Well produced and the characters are so so fleshed out #God I ended up loving like. Everyone lmaooo

[heart-of-the-morningstar]

IT’S ME, YA GIRL, BACK AT IT AGAIN WITH ANOTHER WIP OF A LUCI SMUT FIC CUZ I HAVE NO CONTROL :)

Might have the full thing posted later tonight

Warnings: Smut directly below this, we’re diving in real quick with this one!

NSFW below the cut, minors DNI

You weren’t sure how you ended up in this situation. Well…that’s not entirely true. But you never thought that you would ever be in the situation you found yourself in. Not that you were upset at all by it. Lucifer, the almighty ruler of Hell itself, was bound and blindfolded in your bed wearing nothing more than his briefs. His hands were restrained to the bed post with tightly knotted rope while a silk ribbon obstructed his vision, leaving him absolutely helpless. Of course, you both knew he could more than easily break free from his bondage, but he wasn’t going to. He trusted you with his entire being, his devotion to you was undying. He was now yours to tease, to use, and to break. The thought excited both of you. You had already stripped, wasting no time as you closed in on your prey.

“Are you ready, Luci?” you asked, inching yourself closer to the foot of the bed.

“Yes, darling,” he answered sweetly, “do with me what you please.”

“Good boy,” you hummed. You heard a light moan escape his lips from just your words. He loved nothing more than receiving praise from you. You began by resting your hands on his ankles, ever so slowly moving them up to his calves, and stopping to massage the inside of his thighs. It was already apparent that he was having a difficult time sitting still, he was very sensitive after all. Your touch was intoxicating, he could never be satisfied. And the blindfold certainly amplified the experience. You finally moved your hands up his briefs and onto his hips, where he finally bucked up from your touch.

“Ah, ah, ah,” you chastised, “don’t move, baby. Be good for me.”

“Y-yes, love,” he murmured.

“Already so needy, aren’t we?,” you teased, noticing the very obvious wet spot on his shorts. “We’ve barely started.” You palmed his erection, eliciting a yelp from Lucifer. You began to slowly stroke him through his clothing, you felt his cock twitch at your gentle touch.

“Pl-Please, I-mmhn, please m-more,” he babbled. The sounds of his begging were pure ecstasy. What a feeling to have power over the most powerful being in the realm. You chuckled, reaching for the hem of his briefs, finally releasing his hardened cock. His tip leaked precum onto his stomach, Lucifer whimpered softly.

“Use your words, sweetheart,” you coerced, “tell me what you want.”

You heard an audible gulp from Lucifer. Even with the blindfold, you could tell that his cheeks had flushed a bright red. “T-Touch me, pl-please…need to f-feel you,” he choked out.

You smiled as you reached out to grab the base of his cock, forcing another moan out of Lucifer. You started to stroke his shaft up and down at an agonizingly slow pace, precum leaking onto your hand. It felt like he could burst at any second, but you planned on making this last as long as possible. You could already feel yourself getting wet from the sight of him writhing under your touch. Lucifer’s breathing became heavy as though he couldn’t get enough oxygen in his lungs. Unfortunately, he bucked up his hips to your touch again. You let go of him completely, Lucifer nearly sobbed at the loss of contact.

“What did I say, Luci?,” you scolded.

“Imsorryimsorry!!,” Lucifer cried, “Please! Please, I’ll be good. Please don’t stop…”

“You need to learn some patience, baby,” you retorted, kneeling down and taking a long lick from the base of his shaft to the head. Lucifer’s moans had turned into breathy gasps for air. Without warning, you plunged your mouth down on his cock.

“FFFUUUUCCCKKKK!,” Lucifer yelled as you continued to bob your head up and down on his length. He was well endowed, so you were carefully not to take too much of him all at once. Your hot mouth engulfed half of him while your hand stroked the rest, perfectly in sync. You circled your tongue around his tip, loving the taste of his precum. The only sounds from Lucifer were screams of pleasure as you overstimulated him with your mouth.

“Talk to me, sweetie,” you commended, “how does this make you feel?”

“S-so good, love,” he panted, “ffffuuucckk, I’m so c-close, soooo close…”

“Mmm, what a good boy you are, Luci,” you smiled. You take your hand and mouth off his cock in an instant, leaving it to lay on his stomach once again. Lucifer’s breath hitched as he whined inconsolably, completely devastated by the loss of any friction. “But I’m not done with you yet.”

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel smut #lucifer morningstar #hazbin lucifer #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer x reader #lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer smut #wip #my writing #everyday I stray further from god’s light #yes it is 8:30 am what’s it to ya??? #I forgot it was Valentine’s Day so now I probably have to finish this today for you filthy sinners lmaooo #I kid I wuv u guys ❤️