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starryeyedrookie · 3 years

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Before It’s Too Late (Ethan x MC)

Book: Set during book 2 ch. 11.

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x MC (Evelyn Long)

Word count: 1,996

Rating: General

Category: Angst

Summary: An attack scene rewrite when Ethan spends the night with MC.

A/N: Characters and some dialogue owned by Pizelberry.

I finally decided how I was going to write this rewrite. Initially I was trying to do a full chapter rewrite but half way through, I was already at 3k+ words so it would be waaaay to long. Thankfully, I managed to summarize it but also give it a ton of angst. (This was my first time writing angst btw.) I hope you enjoy!

8:30 pm

It's been exactly five hours since the attack. Five excruciatingly long hours since Evelyn’s world was turned upside down.

Travis, Senator Ed’s assistant, had slowly been poisoning him with lead. When they went to confront him, he pulled out a can and sprayed everyone in the room with a deadly unknown substance.

The Senator managed to escape and Travis was dead. But so was Bobby, with Danny fighting for his life.

Evelyn begins to cry again as she thinks about Bobby’s wife and two kids that he left behind. They would now have to grow up without their dad. He would miss so many big milestones in their lives all because of two selfish people.

“E-Evelyn…?” a weak voice calls from across the room.

She walks over to the bed where Raf is lying down, a light sheen of sweat covering his pale face.

The team had come a little while ago with a shot that they had hoped would slow the progression of their symptoms, but Raf’s still seemed to be getting worse.

“What’s wrong?” he asks quietly, gently wiping the tears from her face.

“I was just… thinking about Bobby’s family and… everything that he… would miss. He was… just telling me… this morning that… his oldest daughter is turning sixteen this year…”

“I know… life isn’t fair. They didn’t deserve any of this.”

“You didn’t either, Raf.”

“But I saved you from having to suffer so much… and that’s what matters.”

“Raf…”

“Shh… listen, I feel… like I’m… getting worse. Will you… do me a favour?”

“Of course. Anything you need.”

“Please help me call my vovo.”

Evelyn hands Raf his phone to unlock, then scrolls through his contacts until she sees his grandmother’s name, tapping it, she places the phone to his ear.

“Olá, vovo.”

“No… I’m not well. There was an attack at the hospital today and the Senator’s assistant tried to kill him. A few people were in the room when it happened. The Senator escaped, but his assistant and one person that works here died and the other is in critical condition. Evelyn and I are in quarantine right now.”

“I just wanted to let you know… that if I… don’t make it… I love you with all my heart.”

“Alright, take care. I love you too.”

“Thank you, Evelyn.” he takes a shaky breath, his heart rate slowing and growing more shallow.

“Evelyn… I think you should… call the team… I'm sorry I couldn't save you… that this… might be the way it ends…” he murmurs, eyes meeting hers, as warm and kind as the day they met.

Taking his hand, she can barely see him through her tears.

“You'll make it through this Raf… I know you will…”

He smiles up at her before his eyes flutter closed and his hand falls away.

Moments later Ethan and June rush into the room.

“I’d hoped that the treatment would buy us more time,” Ethan says sadly.

“We don’t know that it didn’t.” Evelyn tries reassuring him.

He nods as June’s eyes fill with sympathy.

“We’ll get him to the support suite. There’s still a chance that we could fix this Evelyn.” June tells her, as she prepares Rafael for transport.

Evelyn’s almost too scared to ask, but she needs to know. “How’s Danny?”

“We… we lost him.” Ethan’s voice comes out in a whisper.

“No…”

“Before he died he… he asked to be autopsied. To help the two of you.”

As Ethan turns to help June, Evelyn reports Raf’s most recent symptom of hot cold reversal.

“Stay strong, Evelyn. We’ll know more soon.” June tells her reassuringly as she and Ethan slowly push Raf out of the room.

Now she’s all alone, curled up on her bed, the pressure in her head becoming almost too much to bear.

Her mind drifts to Danny. She remembers her first day when he was the one that told her that she had just performed a thoracotomy with Ethan Ramsey. The night of the party her roommates had when he and Sienna talked all night until they fell asleep together on the couch.

Sienna. All Evelyn wanted to do was rush to her side and hold her. She and Danny were supposed to be together. They were meant for each other. But how he was gone, and Sienna would have to live with that loss. She probably never even got to say goodbye.

Goodbye. Evelyn had to be prepared.

Picking up her phone, she sees that she has several missed calls and messages.

Calling her mom, she picks up immediately.

“Evelyn sweetie! Are you okay?! Oh my goodness, we saw what happened on the news and I thought we lost you!”

Hearing her mom’s voice, her tears start falling again.

“I’m hanging in there right now mom. It’s just me in the room now. Rafael just got taken to the support suite.”

“Oh, sweetie…”

“Mom… is everyone there?”

“Yes, honey. We’re all here.”

“Can you put me on speaker please?”

“Hey Evey.” she hears her dad’s voice say.

“Hi, Dad.”

“Hi Evelyn, do they know what it is yet?

“Hi Ben, no they don’t. We got a shot earlier that was supposed to slow the progression of the symptoms, but we don’t have a cure yet.”

“Oh.”

“Listen, guys… if I don’t make it…”

“No Evelyn! You can’t say that!” her heart breaks as she hears Ben crying through the phone.

“Wait… just listen to me. I’m preparing for the worst. I want you guys to know… that I love you all so much. And I want to thank you for everything that you’ve done to help me fulfill my dreams.”

Aside from the sound of soft cries, the line is silent.

Finally, her dad speaks up.

“We love you too sweetie. Stay strong and hang in there. You’ll be fine.”

“I’ll try… take care.”

“Bye.”

Later, her friends and the diagnostics team are gathered outside her window. Bryce looks at her with haunted eyes while a crying Sienna buries her face in Jackie’s shoulder.

“How’s Kyra? The surgery must be over by now…”

“She’s fine and resting. We haven’t told her what happened yet.”

“Good idea.”

“So, do you know what it is yet?”

Ethan explains to her that it’s a maitotoxin that he had never seen before. It was still present in Danny’s bony postmortem and on the surface of his skin.

Processing the information, the realization hits Evelyn like a ton of bricks.

“Maitotoxin… that’s derived from parasites in fish, isn’t it? But… there’s no antidote so… I’m going to die here…” her voice now barely a whisper. “I can’t believe this. Today was supposed to be happy. Kyra was supposed to have a successful surgery and everything was supposed to be fine… but now Danny’s dead, Raf is in a coma, and I’m… I’m…” Evelyn buries her face in her hands as she begins to cry.

“Now isn’t the time to give up hope Evelyn. Because of Raf’s actions, you didn’t get much in your system so your symptoms aren’t as advanced. There may not be an antidote as yet, but I promise you that we’ll be working round-the-clock to synthesize one.” Ethan tries to sound as confident as he can, his heart breaking to see Evelyn hurting.

“You won’t be alone.”

Everyone turns around to see that the statement had come from Tobias, as he, and several Mass Kenmore doctors approached them, all prepared to do whatever it takes.

As everyone heads down to the lab, Ethan lingers behind at the window.

“Are you okay, Ethan?”

“No, Evelyn, I’m not okay. But you don’t need to hear about that. You should try and get some rest. Have you slept at all?”

“No. I can’t stop thinking about Rafael. How long he can last… whether… whether it’s already…”

“…Do you want me to stay for a while?”

“Yes, please. If this is my last night alive, I want to spend it with you.”

“If I was in your position, I’d feel the same way about you.”

“Really?”

“Really, Evelyn.”

Suiting up and entering the room, he gently guides her to the bed.

“Now lie down. I know it sounds impossible, but I need you to relax and try to think about something happy.”

As she lies down, Ethan gently pulls up the covers around her.

“Something happy like what it would be like if we went on a date?”

“If that’s what makes you happy then sure.”

Her happiness leaves as quickly as it came.

“What’s wrong?”

“I just feel like there are so many things that I should have done.”

“Like what?”

“I should have loved more.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve spent the last decade focusing on college, med school, work, always guarding my heart because I might be in another city the next year. It makes me wonder… what could have been,” she confesses sadly.

Ethan is quiet for a long moment.

“Since we’re sharing regrets, do you mind if I share one of mine?”

“Go ahead.”

Reaching across, Ethan’s gloved hand finds hers.

“I wish I hadn’t asked you to stay away.”

“You do?” she asks surprised.

“We’ve wasted so much time. I’ve wasted so much time. I should have held you in my arms every day and told you how much I… how much I love you.”

“Ethan?”

“Shh… I just needed you to know… that no matter what happens… I love and care about you more than I can ever tell you.”

“I love you too, Ethan.”

“You do?”

“Of course! I thought you knew that already.”

“I did. It’s just so wonderful to hear you say it.”

“I wish I could kiss you.”

“Soon. You will soon.”

Joining her on the bed, he wraps his bulky arms around her as eyes begin to flutter closed.

“Evelyn? Can you please look at me?”

“Hmm?”

Forcing her eyes open, she looks at him through his helmet.

“Promise me that you’ll keep fighting. That you won’t give up. Oh, Evelyn… our story’s only just begun and it can’t end here. Please… please promise me.”

“…I… promise,” she whispers before falling asleep.

The next morning she wakes up to excruciating pain in her stomach. Doubling over, Ethan reaches across from the chair for her.

“It’s okay Evelyn, you’ll be alright!”

Feeling weaker than ever, she can barely make out the blurry figures running to her window.

“Evelyn! We did it!” Aurora shouts.

“Huh?”

Baz and June enter the room with the antidote as Tobias explains how they did it.

“What about Raf? He’s much sicker than I am…”

“We administered it to him, but too far there’s been no chance. It’s possible we’re already too late.” Sienna gloomily reveals.

“But he hasn’t gotten any worse, that has to mean something!” Elijah adds.

As Ethan gently injects the serum into her vein, he whispers into her ear.

“Hang in there, Evelyn.”

Over the next several anxious hours, June comes regularly to take her blood.

Slowly, her blood pressure stabilizes and the nausea begins to fade.

As Evelyn looks around, she realizes that the room no longer looks blurry.

“Get up.”

She turns around to see a hazmat suit free Ethan stroll into the room with a big smile on his face.

“You mean…”

“It worked. There’s no trace of toxin left in your bloodstream. Even if there are still traces in the room, we know now that we can-”

“Oh!”

Evelyn flies into Ethan's arms pulling him into a tight hug.

“…What you’re saying is I’m finally free to do this?”

“Yes. This too.”

He leans down capturing her lips in a passionate kiss as tears fall down both of their faces.

“Ethan, aren’t you worried that someone will see?”

“No. After almost losing you, I’ve decided that there are more important things to worry about than what people will think. I love you with all my heart, Evelyn Long.”

Through her tears, she smiles up at him.

“I love you too, Ethan.”

{Two Weeks Later}

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grigori77 · 3 years

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Summer 2021′s Movies - My Top Ten Favourite Films (Part 2)

The Top Ten:

10. WEREWOLVES WITHIN – definitely one of the year’s biggest cinematic surprises so far, this darkly comic supernatural murder mystery from indie horror director Josh Ruben (Scare Me) is based on a video game, but you’d never know it – this bears so little resemblance to the original Ubisoft title that it’s a wonder anyone even bothered to make the connection, but even so, this is now notable for officially being the highest rated video game adaptation in Rotten Tomatoes history, with a Certified Fresh rating of 86%. Certainly it deserves that distinction, but there’s so much more to the film – this is an absolute blood-splattered joy, the title telling you everything you need to know about the story but belying the film’s pure, quirky genius. Veep’s Sam Richardson is forest ranger Finn Wheeler, a gentle and socially awkward soul who arrives at his new post in the remote small town of Beaverton to discover the few, uniformly weird residents are divided over the oil pipeline proposition of forceful and abrasive businessman Sam Parker (The Hunt’s Wayne Duvall). As he tries to fit in and find his feet, investigating the disappearance of a local dog while bonding with local mail carrier Cecily Moore (Other Space and This Is Us’ Milana Vayntrub), the discovery of a horribly mutilated human body leads to a standoff between the townsfolk and an enforced lockdown in the town’s ramshackle hotel as they try to work out who amongst them is the “werewolf” they suspect is responsible. This is frequently hilarious, the offbeat script from appropriately named Mishna Wolff (I’m Down) dropping some absolutely zingers and crafting some enjoyably weird encounters and unexpected twists, while the uniformly excellent cast do much of the heavy-lifting to bring their rich, thoroughly oddball characters to vivid life – Richardson is thoroughly cuddly throughout, while Duvall is pleasingly loathsome, Casual’s Michaela Watkins is pleasingly grating as Trisha, flaky housewife to unrepentant local horn-dog Pete Anderton (Orange is the New Black’s Michael Chernus), and Cheyenne Jackson (American Horror Story) and Harry Guillen (best known, OF COURSE, as Guillermo in the TV version of What We Do In the Shadows) make an enjoyably spiky double-act as liberal gay couple Devon and Joaquim Wolfson; in the end, though, the film is roundly stolen by Vayntrub, who invests Cecily with a bubbly sweetness and snarky sass that makes it absolutely impossible to not fall completely in love with her (gods know I did). This is a deeply funny film, packed with proper belly-laughs from start to finish, but like all the best horror comedies it takes its horror elements seriously, delivering some enjoyably effective scares and juicy gore, while the werewolf itself, when finally revealed, is realised through some top-notch prosthetics. Altogether this was a most welcome under-the-radar surprise for the summer, and SO MUCH MORE than just an unusually great video game adaptation …

9. THE TOMORROW WAR – although cinemas finally reopened in the UK in early summer, the bite of the COVID lockdown backlog was still very much in effect this blockbuster season, with several studios preferring to hedge their bets and wait for later release dates. Others turned to streaming services, including Paramount, who happily lined up a few heavyweight titles to open on major platforms in lieu of the big screen. One of the biggest was this intended sci-fi action horror tentpole, meant to give Chris Pratt another potential franchise on top of Guardians of the Galaxy and Jurassic World, which instead dropped in early July on Amazon Prime. So, was it worth staying in on a Saturday night instead of heading out for something on the BIG screen? Mostly yes, although it’s mainly a trashy, guilty pleasure big budget B-picture charm that makes this such a worthwhile experience – the film’s biggest influences are clearly Independence Day and Starship Troopers, two admirably clunky blockbusters that DEFINED prioritising big spectacle and overblown theatrics over intelligent writing and realistic storytelling. It doesn’t help that the premise is pure bunk – in 2022, a wormhole opens from thirty years in the future, and a plea for help is sent back with a bunch of very young future soldiers. Seems Earth will become overrun by an unstoppable swarm of nasty alien critters called Whitespikes in 25 years, and the desperate human counteroffensive have no choice but to bring soldiers from our present into the future to help them fight back and save the humanity from imminent extinction. Less than a year later, the world’s standing armies have been decimated and a worldwide draft has been implemented, with normal everyday adults being sent through for a seven day tour from which very few return. Pratt plays biology teacher and former Green Beret Dan Forrester, one of the latest batch of draftees to be sent into the future along with a selection of chefs, soccer moms and other average joes – his own training and experience serves him better than most when the shit hits the fan, but it soon becomes clear that he’s just as out of his depth as everyone else as the sheer enormity of the threat is revealed. But when he becomes entangled with a desperate research outfit led by Muri (Chuck’s Yvonne Strahovski) who seem to be on the verge of a potential world-changing scientific breakthrough, Dan realises there just might be a slender hope for humanity after all … this is every bit as over-the-top gung-ho bonkers as it sounds, and just as much fun. Director Chris McKay may still be pretty fresh (with only The Lego Batman Movie under his belt to date), but he shows a lot of talent and potential for big budget blockbuster filmmaking here, delivering with guts and bravado on some major action sequences (a fraught ticking-clock SAR operation through a war-torn Miami is the film’s undeniable highlight, but a desperate battle to escape a blazing oil rig also really impresses), as well as handling some impressively complex visual effects work and wrangling some quality performances from his cast (altogether it bodes well for his future, which includes Nightwing and Johnny Quest as future projects). Chris Pratt can do this kind of stuff in his sleep – Dan is his classic fallible and self-deprecating but ultimately solid and kind-hearted action hero fare, effortlessly likeable and easy to root for – and his supporting cast are equally solid, Strahovsky going toe-to-toe with him in the action sequences while also creating a rewardingly complex smart-woman/badass combo in Muri, while the other real standouts include Sam Richardson (Veep, Werewolves Within) and Edwin Hodge (The Purge movies) as fellow draftees Charlie and Dorian, the former a scared-out-of-his-mind tech geek while the latter is a seriously hardcore veteran serving his THIRD TOUR, and the ever brilliant J.K. Simmonds as Dan’s emotionally scarred estranged Vietnam-vet father, Jim. Sure, it’s derivative as hell and thoroughly predictable (with more than one big twist you can see coming a mile away), but the pace is brisk, the atmosphere pregnant with a palpable doomed urgency, and the creatures themselves are a genuinely convincing world-ending threat, the design team and visual effects wizards creating genuine nightmare fuel in the feral and unrelenting Whitespikes. Altogether this WAS an ideal way to spend a comfy Saturday night in, but I think it could have been JUST AS GOOD for a Saturday night OUT at the Pictures …

8. ARMY OF THE DEAD – another high profile release that went straight to streaming was this genuine monster hit for Netflix from one of this century’s undeniable heavyweight action cinema masters, the indomitable Zack Snyder, who kicked off his career with an audience-dividing (but, as far as I’m concerned, ultimately MASSIVELY successful) remake of George Romero’s immortal Dawn of the Dead, and has finally returned to zombie horror after close to two decades away. The end result is, undeniably, the biggest cinematic guilty pleasure of the entire summer, a bona fide outbreak horror EPIC in spite of its tightly focused story – Dave Bautista plays mercenary Scott Ward, leader a badass squad of soldiers of fortune who were among the few to escape a deadly outbreak of a zombie virus in the city of Las Vegas, enlisted to break into the vault of one of the Strip’s casinos by owner Bly Tanaka (a fantastically game turn from Hiroyuki Sanada) and rescue $200 million still locked away inside. So what’s the catch? Vegas remains ground zero for the outbreak, walled off from the outside world but still heavily infested within, and in less than three days the US military intends to sterilise the site with a tactical nuke. Simple premise, down and dirty, trashy flick, right? Wrong – Snyder has never believed in doing things small, having brought us unapologetically BIG cinema with the likes of 300, Watchmen, Man of Steel and, most notably, his version of Justice League, so this is another MASSIVE undertaking, every scene shot for maximum thrills or emotional impact, each set-piece executed with his characteristic militaristic precision and explosive predilection (a harrowing fight for survival against a freshly-awakened zombie horde in tightly packed casino corridors is the film’s undeniable highlight), and the gauzy, dreamlike cinematography gives even simple scenes an intriguing and evocative edge that really does make you feel like you’re watching something BIG. The characters all feel larger-than-life too – Bautista can seem somewhat cartoonish at times, and this role definitely plays that as a strength, making Scott a rock-hard alpha male in the classic Hollywood mould, but he’s such a great actor that of course he’s able to invest the character with real rewarding complexity beneath the surface; Ana de la Reguera (Eastbound & Down) and Nora Arnezeder (Zoo, Mozart in the Jungle), meanwhile, both bring a healthy dose of oestrogen-fuelled badassery to proceedings as, respectively, Scott’s regular second-in-command, Maria Cruz, and Lilly the Coyote, Power’s Omari Hardwick and Matthias Schweighofer (You Are Wanted) make for a fun odd-couple double act as circular-saw-wielding merc Vanderohe and Dieter, the nervous, nerdy German safecracker brought in to crack the vault, and Fear the Walking Dead’s Garrett Dillahunt channels spectacular scumbag energy as Tanaka’s sleazy former casino boss Martin, while latecomer Tig Notaro (Star Trek Discovery) effortlessly rises above her last-minute-casting controversy to deliver brilliantly as sassy and acerbic chopper pilot Peters. I think it goes without saying that Snyder can do this in his sleep, but he definitely wasn’t napping here – he pulled out all the stops on this one, delivering a thrilling, darkly comic and endearingly CRACKERS zombie flick that not only compares favourably to his own Dawn but is, undeniably, his best film for AGES. Netflix certainly seem to be pleased with the results – a spinoff prequel, Army of Thieves, starring Dieter in another heist thriller, is set to drop in October, with an animated series following in the Spring, and there’s already rumours of a sequel in development. I’m certainly up for more …

7. BLACK WIDOW – no major blockbuster property was hit harder by COVID than the MCU, which saw its ENTIRE SLATE for 2020 delayed for over a year in the face of Marvel Studios bowing to the inevitability of the Pandemic and unwilling to sacrifice those all-important box-office receipts by just sending their films straight to streaming. The most frustrating part for hardcore fans of the series was the delay of a standalone film that was already criminally overdue – the solo headlining vehicle of founding Avenger and bona fide female superhero ICON Natasha Romanoff, aka the Black Widow. Equally frustratingly, then, this film seems set to be overshadowed by real life controversy as star and producer Scarlett Johansson goes head-to-head with Disney in civil court over their breach-of-contract after they hedged their bets by releasing the film simultaneously in cinemas and on their own streaming platform, which has led to poor box office as many of the film’s potential audience chose to watch it at home instead of risk movie theatres with the virus still very much remaining a threat (and Disney have clearly reacted AGAIN, now backtracking on their release policy by instigating a new 45-day cinematic exclusivity window on all their big releases for the immediate future). But what of the film itself? Well Black Widow is an interesting piece of work, director Cate Shortland (Berlin Syndrome) and screenwriter Eric Pearson (Thor: Ragnarok) delivering a decidedly stripped-back, lean and intellectual beast that bears greater resemblance to the more cerebral work of the Russo Brothers on their Captain America films than the more classically bombastic likes of Iron Man, Thor or the Avengers flicks, concentrating on story and characters over action and spectacle as we wind back the clock to before the events of Infinity War and Endgame, when Romanoff was on the run after Civil War, hunted by the government-appointed forces of US Secretary of State “Thunderbolt” Ross (William Hurt) after violating the Sokovia Accords. Then a mysterious delivery throws her back into the fray as she finds herself targeted by a mysterious assassin, forcing her to team up with her estranged “sister” Yelena Belova (Midsommar’s Florence Pugh), another Black Widow who’s just gone rogue from the same Red Room Natasha escaped years ago, armed with a McGuffin capable of foiling a dastardly plot for world domination. The reluctant duo need help in this endeavour though, enlisting the aid of their former “parents”, veteran Widow and scientist Melina Vostokoff (Rachel Weisz) and Alexie Shostakov (Stranger Things’ David Harbour), aka the Red Guardian, a Russian super-soldier intended to be their counterpart to Captain America, who’s been languishing in a Siberian gulag for the last twenty years. After the Earth-shaking, universe-changing events of recent MCU events, this film certainly feels like a much more self-contained, modest affair, playing for much smaller stakes, but that doesn’t mean it’s any less worthy of our attention – this is as precision-crafted as anything we’ve seen from Marvel so far, but it also feels like a refreshing change of pace after all those enormous cosmic shenanigans, while the script is as tight as a drum, propelling a taut, suspense-filled thriller that certainly doesn’t scrimp on the action front. Sure, the set-pieces are very much in service of the story here, but they’re still the pre-requisite MCU rollercoaster rides, a selection of breathless chases and bone-crunching fights that really do play to the strengths of one of our favourite Avengers, but this is definitely one of those films where the real fireworks come when the film focuses on the characters – Johansson is so comfortable with her character she’s basically BECOME Natasha Romanoff, kickass and ruthless and complex and sassy and still just desperate for a family (though she hides it well throughout the film), while Weisz delivers one of her best performances in years as a peerless professional who keeps her emotions tightly reigned in but slowly comes to realise that she was never more happy than when she was pretending to be a simple mother, and Ray Winstone does a genuinely fantastic job of taking a character who could have been one of the MCU’s most disappointingly bland villains, General Dreykov, master of the Red Room, and investing him with enough oily charisma and intense presence to craft something truly memorable (frustratingly, the same cannot be said for the film’s supposed main physical threat, Taskmaster, who performs well in their frustratingly brief appearances but ultimately gets Darth Maul levels of short service). The true scene-stealers in the film, however, are Alexie and Yelena – Harbour’s clearly having the time of his life hamming it up as a self-important, puffed-up peacock of a superhero who never got his shot and is clearly (rightly) decidedly bitter about it, preferring to relive the life he SHOULD have had instead of remembering the good in the one he got; Pugh, meanwhile, is THE BEST THING IN THE WHOLE MOVIE, easily matching Johanssen scene-for-scene in the action stakes but frequently out-performing her when it comes to acting, investing Yelena with a sweet naivety and innocence and a certain amount of quirky geekiness that makes for one of the year’s most endearing female protagonists (certainly one who, if the character goes the way I think she will, is thoroughly capable of carrying the torch for the foreseeable future). In the end this is definitely one of the LEAST typical, by-the-numbers MCU films to date, and by delivering something a little different I think they’ve given us just the kind of leftfield swerve the series needs right now. It’s certainly one of their most fascinating and rewarding films so far, and since it seems to be Johansson’s final tour of duty as the Black Widow, it’s also a most fitting farewell indeed.

6. WRATH OF MAN – Guy Ritchie’s latest (regarded by many as a triumphant return to form, which I consider unfair since I don’t think he ever went away, especially after 2020’s spectacular The Gentlemen) is BY FAR his darkest film – let’s get this clear from the start. Anyone who knows his work knows that Ritchie consistently maintains a near flawless balance and humour and seriousness in his films that gives them a welcome quirkiness that is one of his most distinctive trademarks, so for him to suddenly deliver a film which takes itself SO SERIOUSLY is one hell of a departure. This is a film which almost REVELS in its darkness – Ritchie’s always loved bathing in man’s baser instincts, but Wrath of Man almost makes a kind of twisted VIRTUE out of wallowing in the genuine evils that men are capable of inflicting on each other. The film certainly kicks off as it means to go on – In a tour-de-force single-shot opening, we watch a daring armoured car robbery on the streets of Los Angeles that goes horrifically wrong, an event which will have devastating consequences in the future. Five months later, Fortico Security hires taciturn Brit Patrick Hill (Jason Statham) to work as a guard in one of their trucks, and on his first run he single-handedly foils another attempted robbery with genuinely uncanny combat skills. The company is thrilled, amazed by the sheer ability of their new hire, but Hill’s new colleagues are more concerned, wondering exactly what they’ve let themselves in for. After a second foiled robbery, it becomes clear that Hill’s reputation has grown, but fellow guard Haiden (Holt McCallany), aka “Bullet”, begins to suspect there might be something darker going on … Ritchie is firing on all cylinders here, delivering a PERFECT slow-burn suspense thriller which plays its cards close to its chest and cranks up its piano wire tension with artful skill as it builds to a devastating, knuckle-whitening explosive heist that acts as a cathartic release for everything that’s built up over the past hour and a half. In typical Ritchie style the narrative is non-linear, the story unfolding in four distinct parts told from clearly differentiated points of view, allowing the clues to be revealed at a trickle that effortlessly draws the viewer in as they fall deeper down the rabbit hole, leading to a harrowing but strangely poignant denouement which is perfectly in tune with everything that’s come before. It’s an immense pleasure finally getting to see Statham working with Ritchie again, and I don’t think he’s ever been better than he is here – he's always been a brilliantly understated actor, but there’s SO MUCH going on under Hill’s supposedly impenetrable calm that every little peek beneath the armour is a REVELATION; McCallany, meanwhile, has landed his best role since his short but VERY sweet supporting turn in Fight Club, seemingly likeable and fallible as the kind of easy-going co-worker anyone in the service industry would be THRILLED to have, but giving Bullet far more going on under the surface, while there are uniformly excellent performances from a top-shelf ensemble supporting cast which includes Josh Hartnett, Jeffrey Donovan (Burn Notice, Sicario), Andy Garcia, Laz Alonso (The Boys), Eddie Marsan, Niamh Algar (Raised By Wolves) and Darrell D’Silva (Informer, Domina), and a particularly edgy and intense turn from Scott Eastwood. This is one of THE BEST thrillers of the year, by far, a masterpiece of mood, pace and plot that ensnares the viewer from its gripping opening and hooks them right up to the close, a triumph of the genre and EASILY Guy Ritchie’s best film since Snatch. Regardless of whether or not it’s a RETURN to form, we can only hope he continues to deliver fare THIS GOOD in the future …

5. FEAR STREET (PARTS 1-3) – Netflix have gotten increasingly ambitious with their original filmmaking over the years, and some of this years’ offerings have reached new heights of epic intention. Their most exciting release of the summer was this adaptation of popular children’s horror author R.L. Stine’s popular book series, a truly gargantuan undertaking as the filmmakers set out to create an entire TRILOGY of films which were then released over three consecutive weekends. Interestingly, these films are most definitely NOT for kids – this is proper, no-holds-barred supernatural slasher horror, delivering highly calibrated shocks and precision jump scares, a pervading atmosphere of insidious dread and a series of inventively gruesome kills. The story revolves around two neighbouring small towns which have had vastly different fortunes over more than three centuries of existence – while the residents of Sunnyvale are unusually successful, living idyllic lives in peace and prosperity, luck has always been against the people of Shadyside, who languish in impoverishment, crime and misfortune, while the town has become known as the Murder Capital of the USA due to frequent spree killings. Some attribute this to the supposed curse of a local urban legend, Sarah Fier, who became known as the Fier Witch after her execution for witchcraft in 1668, but others dismiss this as simple superstition. Part 1 is set in 1994, as the latest outbreak of serial mayhem begins in Shadyside, dragging a small group of local teens – Deena Johnson (She Never Died’s Kiana Madeira) and Samantha Fraser (Olivia Scott Welch), a young lesbian couple going through a difficult breakup, Deena’s little brother Josh (The Haunted Hathaways’ Benjamin Flores Jr.), a nerdy history geek who spends most of his time playing video games or frequenting violent crime-buff online chatrooms, and their delinquent friends Simon (Eight Grade’s Fred Hechinger) and Kate (Julia Rehwald) – into the age-old ghostly conspiracy as they find themselves besieged by indestructible undead serial killers from the town’s past, reasoning that the only way they can escape with their lives is to solve the mystery and bring the Fier Witch some much needed closure. Part 2, meanwhile, flashes back to a previous outbreak in 1977, in which local sisters Ziggy (Stranger Things’ Sadie Sink) and Cindy Berman (Emily Rudd), together with future Sunnyvale sheriff Nick Goode (Ted Sutherland) were among the kids hunted by said killers during a summer camp “colour war”. As for Part 3, that goes all the way back to 1668 to tell the story of what REALLY happened to Sarah Fier, before wrapping up events in 1994, culminating in a terrifying, adrenaline-fuelled showdown in the Shadyside Mall. Throughout, the youthful cast are EXCEPTIONAL, Madeira, Welch, Flores Jr., Sink and Rudd particularly impressing, while there are equally strong turns from Ashley Zuckerman (The Code, Designated Survivor) and Community’s Gillian Jacobs as the grown-up versions of two key ’77 kids, and a fun cameo from Maya Hawke in Part 1. This is most definitely retro horror in the Stranger Things mould, perfectly executed period detail bringing fun nostalgic flavour to all three of the timelines while the peerless direction from Leigh Janiak (Honeymoon) and wire-tight, sharp-witted screenplays from Janiak, Kyle Killen (Lone Star, The Beaver), Phil Graziadel, Zak Olkewicz and Kate Trefry strike a perfect balance between knowing dark humour and knife-edged terror, as well as weaving an intriguingly complex narrative web that pulls the viewer in but never loses them to overcomplication. The design, meanwhile, is evocative, the cinematography (from Stanger Things’ Caleb Heymann) is daring and magnificently moody, and the killers and other supernatural elements of the film are handled with skill through largely physical effects. This is definitely not a standard, by-the-numbers slasher property, paying strong homage to the sub-genre’s rules but frequently subverting them with expert skill, and it’s as much fun as it is frightening. Give us some more like this please, Netflix!

4. THE SPARKS BROTHERS – those who’ve been following my reviews for a while will known that while I do sometimes shout about documentary films, they tend to show up in my runners-up lists – it’s a great rarity for one to land in one of my top tens. This lovingly crafted deep-dive homage to cult band Sparks, from self-confessed rabid fanboy Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, Scott Pilgrim), is something VERY SPECIAL INDEED, then … there’s a vague possibility some of you may have heard the name before, and many of you will know at least one or two of their biggest hits without knowing it was them (their greatest hit of all time, This Town Ain’t Big Enough for the Both of Us, immediately springs to mind), but unless you’re REALLY serious about music it’s quite likely you have no idea who they are, namely two brothers from California, Russell and Ronald Mael, who formed a very sophisticated pop-rock band in the late 60s and then never really went away, having moments of fame but mostly working away in the background and influencing some of the greatest bands and musical artists that followed them, even if many never even knew where that influence originally came from. Wright’s film is an engrossing joy from start to finish (despite clocking in at two hours and twenty minutes), following their eclectic career from obscure inception as Halfnelson, through their first real big break with third album Kimono My Place, subsequent success and then fall from popularity in the mid-70s, through several subsequent revitalisations, all the way up to the present day with their long-awaited cinematic breakthrough, revolutionary musical feature Annette – throughout Wright keeps the tone light and the pace breezy, allowing a strong and endearing sense of irreverence to rule the day as fans, friends and the brothers themselves offer up fun anecdotes and wax lyrical about what is frequently a larger-than-life tragicomic soap opera, utilising fun, crappy animation and idiosyncratic stock footage inserts alongside talking-head interviews that were made with a decidedly tongue-in-cheek style – Mike Myers good-naturedly rants about how we can see his “damned mole” while 80s New Romantic icons Nick Rhodes and John Taylor, while shot together, are each individually labelled as “Duran”. Ron and Russ themselves, meanwhile, are clearly having huge fun, gently ribbing each other and dropping some fun deadpan zingers throughout proceedings, easily playing to the band’s strong, idiosyncratic sense of hyper-intelligent humour, while the aforementioned celebrity talking-heads are just three amongst a whole wealth of famous faces that may surprise you – there’s even an appearance by Neil Gaiman, guys! Altogether this is 2+ hours of bright and breezy fun chock full of great music and fascinating information, and even hardcore Sparks fans are likely to learn more than a little over the course of the film, while for those who have never heard of Sparks before it’s a FANTASTIC introduction to one of the greatest ever bands that you’ve never heard of. With luck there might even be more than a few new fans before the year is out …

3. GUNPOWDER MILKSHAKE – Netflix’ BEST offering of the summer was this surprise hit from Israeli writer-director Navot Papushado (Rabies, Big Bad Wolves), a heavily stylised black comedy action thriller that passes the Bechdel Test with FLYING COLOURS. Playing like a female-centric John Wick, it follows ice-cold, on-top-of-her-game assassin Sam (Karen Gillan) as her latest assignment has some unfortunate side effects, leading her to take on a reparation job to retrieve some missing cash for the local branch of the Irish Mob. The only catch is that a group of thugs have kidnapped the original thief’s little girl, 12 year-old Emily (My Spy’s Chloe Coleman), and Sam, in an uncharacteristic moment of sympathy, decides to intervene, only for the money to be accidentally destroyed in the process. Now she’s got the Mob and her own employers coming after her, and she not only has to save her own skin but also Emily’s, leading her to seek help from the one person she thought she might never see again – her mother, Scarlet (Lena Headey), a master assassin in her own right who’s been hiding from the Mob herself for years. The plot may be simple but at times also a little over-the-top, but the film is never anything less than a pure, unadulterated pleasure, populated with fascinating, living and breathing characters of real complexity and nuance, while the script (co-written by relative newcomer Ehud Lavski) is tightly-reined and bursting with zingers. Most importantly, though, Papushado really delivers on the action front – these are some of the best set-pieces I’ve seen this year, Gillan, her co-stars and the various stunt-performers acquitting themselves admirably in a series of spectacular fights, gun battles and a particularly imaginative car chase that would be the envy of many larger, more expensive productions. Gillan and Coleman have a sweet, awkward chemistry, the MCU star particularly impressing in a subtly nuanced performance that also plays beautifully against Headey’s own tightly controlled turn, while there is awesome support from Angela Bassett, Michelle Yeoh and Carla Gugino as Sam’s adoptive aunts Anna May, Florence and Madeleine, a trio of “librarians” who run a fine side-line in illicit weaponry and are capable of unleashing some spectacular violence of their own; the film’s antagonists, on the other hand, are exclusively masculine – the mighty Ralph Inneson is quietly ruthless as Irish boss Jim McAlester, while The Terror’s Adam Nagaitis is considerably more mercurial as his mad dog nephew Virgil, and Paul Giamatti is the stately calm at the centre of the storm as Sam’s employer Nathan, the closest thing she has to a father. There’s so much to enjoy in this movie, not just the wonderful characters and amazing action but also the singularly engrossing and idiosyncratic style, deeply affecting themes of the bonds of found family and the healing power of forgiveness, and a rewarding through-line of strong women triumphing against the brutalities of toxic masculinity. I love this film, and I invite you to try it out, cuz I’m sure you will too.

2. THE SUICIDE SQUAD – the most fun I’ve had at the cinema so far this year is the long-awaited (thanks a bunch, COVID) redress of another frustrating imbalance from the decidedly hit and miss DCEU superhero franchise, in which Guardians of the Galaxy writer-director James Gunn has finally delivered a PROPER Suicide Squad movie after David Ayer’s painfully compromised first stab at the property back in 2016. That movie was enjoyable enough and had some great moments, but ultimately it was a clunky mess, and while some of the characters were done (quite) well, others were painfully botched, even ruined entirely. Thankfully Warner Bros. clearly learned their lesson, giving Gunn free reign to do whatever he wanted, and the end result is about as close to perfect as the DCEU has come to date. Once again the peerless Viola Davis plays US government official Amanda Waller, head of ARGUS and the undisputable most evil bitch in all the DC Universe, who presides over the metahuman prisoners of the notorious supermax Belle Reve Prison, cherry-picking inmates for her pet project Taskforce X, the titular Suicide Squad sent out to handle the kind of jobs nobody else wants, in exchange for years off their sentences but controlled by explosive implants injected into the base of their skulls. Their latest mission sees another motley crew of D-bags dispatched to the fictional South African island nation of Corto Maltese to infiltrate Jotunheim, a former Nazi facility in which a dangerous extra-terrestrial entity that’s being developed into a fearful bioweapon, with orders to destroy the project in order to keep it out of the hands of a hostile anti-American regime which has taken control of the island through a violent coup. Where the first Squad felt like a clumsily-arranged selection of stereotypes with a few genuinely promising characters unsuccessfully moulded into a decidedly forced found family, this new batch are convincingly organic – they may be dysfunctional and they’re all almost universally definitely BAD GUYS, but they WORK, the relationship dynamics that form between them feeling genuinely earned. Gunn has already proven himself a master of putting a bunch of A-holes together and forging them into band of “heroes”, and he’s certainly pulled the job off again here, dredging the bottom of the DC Rogues Gallery for its most ridiculous Z-listers and somehow managing to make them compelling. Sure, returning Squad-member Harley Quinn (the incomparable Margot Robbie, magnificent as ever) has already become a fully-realised character thanks to Birds of Prey, so there wasn’t much heavy-lifting to be done here, but Gunn genuinely seems to GET the character, so our favourite pixie-esque Agent of Chaos is an unbridled and thoroughly unpredictable joy here, while fellow veteran Colonel Rick Flagg (a particularly muscular and thoroughly game Joel Kinnaman) has this time received a much needed makeover, Gunn promoting him from being the first film’s sketchily-drawn “Captain Exposition” and turning him into a fully-ledged, well-thought-out human being with all the requisite baggage, including a newfound sense of humour; the newcomers, meanwhile, are a thoroughly fascinating bunch – reluctant “leader” Bloodsport/Robert DuBois (a typically robust and playful Idris Elba), unapologetic douchebag Peacemaker/Christopher Smith (probably the best performance I’ve EVER seen John Cena deliver), and socially awkward and seriously hard-done-by nerd (and by far the most idiotic DC villain of all time) the Polka-Dot Man/Abner Krill (a genuinely heart-breaking hangdog performance from Ant-Man’s David Dastmalchian); meanwhile there’s a fine trio of villainous turns from the film’s resident Big Bads, with Juan Diego Botta (Good Behaviour) and Joaquin Cosio (Quantum of Solace, Narcos: Mexico) making strong impressions as newly-installed dictator Silvio Luna and his corrupt right hand-man General Suarez, although both are EASILY eclipsed by the typically brilliant Peter Capaldi as louche and quietly deranged supervillain The Thinker/Gaius Greives (although the film’s ULTIMATE threat turns out to be something a whole lot bigger and more exotic). The film is ROUNDLY STOLEN, however, by a truly adorable double act (or TRIPLE act, if you want to get technical) – Daniella Melchior makes her breakthrough here in fine style as sweet, principled and kind-hearted narcoleptic second-generation supervillain Ratcatcher II/Cleo Cazo, who has the weird ability to control rats (and who has a pet rat named Sebastian who frequently steals scenes all on his own), while a particular fan-favourite B-lister makes his big screen debut here in the form of King Shark/Nanaue, a barely sentient anthropomorphic Great White “shark god” with an insatiable appetite for flesh and a naturally quizzical nature who was brilliantly mo-capped by Steve Agee (The Sarah Silverman Project, who also plays Waller’s hyperactive assistant John Economos) but then artfully completed with an ingenious vocal turn from Sylvester Stallone. James Gunn has crafted an absolute MASTERPIECE here, EASILY the best film he’s made to date, a riotous cavalcade of exquisitely observed and perfectly delivered dark humour and expertly wrangled narrative chaos that has great fun playing with the narrative flow, injects countless spot-on in-jokes and irreverent but utterly essential throwaway sight-gags, and totally endears us to this glorious gang of utter morons right from the start (in which Gunn delivers what has to be one of the most skilful deep-fakes in cinematic history). Sure, there’s also plenty of action, and it’s executed with the kind of consummate skill we’ve now come to expect from Gunn (the absolute highlight is a wonderfully bonkers sequence in which Harley expertly rescues herself from captivity), but like everything else it’s predominantly played for laughs, and there’s no getting away from the fact that this film is an absolute RIOT. By far the funniest thing I’ve seen so far this year, and if I’m honest this is the best of the DCEU offerings to date, too (for me, only the exceptional Birds of Prey can compare) – if Warner Bros. have any sense they’ll give Gunn more to do VERY SOON …

1. A QUIET PLACE, PART II – while UK cinemas finally reopened in early May, I was determined that my first trip back to the Big Screen for 2021 was gonna be something SPECIAL, and indeed I already knew what that was going to be. Thankfully I was not disappointed by my choice – 2018’s A Quiet Place was MY VERY FAVOURITE horror movie of the 2010s, an undeniable masterclass in suspense and sustained screen terror wrapped around a refreshingly original killer concept, and I was among the many fans hoping we’d see more in the future, especially after the film’s teasingly open ending. Against the odds (or perhaps not), writer-director/co-star John Krasinski has pulled off the seemingly impossible task of not only following up that high-wire act, but genuinely EQUALLING it in levels of quality – picking up RIGHT where the first film left off (at least after an AMAZING scene-setting opening in which we’re treated to the events of Day 1 of the downfall of humanity), rejoining the remnants of the Abbott family as they’re forced by circumstances to up-sticks from their idyllic farmhouse home and strike out into the outside world once more, painfully aware at all times that they must maintain perfect silence to avoid the ravenous attentions of the lethal blind alien beasties that now sit at the top of the food chain. Circumstances quickly become dire, however, and embattled mother Evelyn (Emily Blunt) is forced to ally herself with estranged family friend Emmett (Cillian Murphy), now a haunted, desperate vagrant eking out a perilous existence in an abandoned factory, in order to safeguard the future of her children Regan (Millicent Simmonds), Marcus (Noah Jupe) and their newborn baby brother. Regan, however, discovers evidence of more survivors, and with her newfound weapon against the aliens she recklessly decides to set off on her own in the hopes of aiding them before it’s too late … it may only be his second major blockbuster as a director, but Krasinski has once again proven he’s a true heavyweight talent, effortlessly carving out fresh ground in this already magnificently well-realised dystopian universe while also playing magnificently to the established strengths of what came before, delivering another peerless thrill-ride of unbearable tension and knuckle-whitening terror. The central principle of utilising sound at a very strict premium is once again strictly adhered to here, available sources of dialogue once again exploited with consummate skill while sound design and score (another moody triumph from Marco Beltrami) again become THE MOST IMPORTANT aspects of the whole production. The ruined world is once again realised beautifully throughout, most notably in the nightmarish environment of a wrecked commuter train, and Krasinski cranks up the tension before unleashing it in merciless explosions in a selection of harrowing encounters which guaranteed to leave viewers in a puddle of sweat. The director mostly stays behind the camera this time round, but he does (obviously) put in an appearance in the opening flashback as the late Lee Abbott, making a potent impression which leaves a haunting absence that’s keenly felt throughout the remainder of the film, while Blunt continues to display mother lion ferocity as she fights to keep her children safe and Jupe plays crippling fear magnificently but is now starting to show a hidden spine of steel as Marcus finally starts to find his courage; the film once again belongs, however, to Simmonds, the young deaf actress once and for all proving she’s a genuine star in the making as she invests Regan with fierce wilfulness and stubborn determination that remains unshakeable even in the face of unspeakable horrors, and the relationship she develops with Emmett, reluctant as it may be, provides a strong new emotional focus for the story, Murphy bringing an attractive wounded humanity to his role as a man who’s lost anything and is being forced to learn to care for something again. This is another triumph of the genre AND the artform in general, a masterpiece of atmosphere, performance and storytelling which builds magnificently on the skilful foundations laid by the first film, as well as setting things up perfectly for a third instalment which is all but certain to follow. I definitely can’t wait.

#movies 2021 #werewolves within #werewolves within movie #the tomorrow war #army of the dead #Black Widow #black widow movie #black widow mcu #wrath of man #fear street #fear street trilogy #fear street movies #The Sparks Brothers #gunpowder milkshake #the suicide squad #a quiet place part ii #a quiet place part 2 #awesome sauce

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thethreemages · 3 years

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W e lp, been meaning to finally get around to introducing this lil binch magnet and thus... here he is; the one and only Lord Zoras himself, one of the bigger antagonists within the TTM-verse (Kaz's crew basically being nothing compared to this smug asshole).

As for how exactly he became to be such a binch magnet itself? Well... lets find out~ (whether here or through my other DA link, hope you all enjoy reading! ;p)

Zedri Zoras (age 23) was born as the beloved, only son to the then-Lord and Lady Zoras, a proud pair of nobles who spoiled their boy rotten with the many luxuries he could've ever asked for. Priceless toys, bountiful sweets, the finest of clothes, he was practically the "little prince" of the household... so much that in some ways, Zedri believed he really was royalty. Day by day this would continue on with a growing wariness among the fellow house-servants... up until the fateful event that would forever shake up the Zoras household. The day his parents, desperate to continue their lavish lifestyles no matter what... ended up getting arrested with charges of fraud, scamming, theft... and in some rumors, some potential treasonous affiliations with underground crime circles. Everything Zedri ever knew was snatched away from then on... leaving there no other choice but for him to be sent off to live with his only other-living blood relative... his beloved grandfather, the former headmaster of St. Ravilda's Mage Academy. Now the aging old man Zoras was quite "infamous" by this point in time... forever disgraced from his proud headmaster days due to his increasing cruelty to certain students of his, whilst attempting to manipulate a few select others as potential "apprentices" of his. The only other supporters he had left were his son and daughter-in-law... but with them out of the picture by now, all was left was the young lad Zedri. Eager to be entertained by his grandfather's numerous "mighty" stories of heroism, magehood and other "daring" feats... it didn't take long for the two to develop a close bond with one another even as they were alone in the rather "empty" mansion walls. Just like the old man, Zedri had inherited Strength magic that was picked up well in his early years... and sensing such magical prowess, his grandfather was quick to try and train the boy to pick up where he no longer could (now that he long-retired from his own mage days). Within the coming years, Zedri would continue to grow up into a strong young man... even being imparted the dated-beliefs from his grandfather about maintaining "tradition" over all else. Men like him being the dutiful providers, women being the subservient "arm-candy" when needed, offense-magic being the top priority over defense or healing... the list went on. Still, Zedri's skills weren't to be ignored for very long... as once he was old enough he got sent off to a different mage academy that rivaled that of St. Ravilda's; the Gilded Prime Mage Academy. Quickly rising to the top of his class in terms of both academics and popularity, Zedri would carry on his perpetually hotshot ego well by the time he graduated... making quite a few enemies along the way such as Prince Elas Grayle (whom he encountered a few times on various school competitions). Still, the few "complaints" he'd get overtime failed to hinder Zedri's spirit much... as now that he was a grown adult (and soon inherited his parents' estate as the "new" Lord), he was free to carry on trying to spread about his grandfather's "rightful teachings" in the traveling mage business. That and another lil "side venture" of his trying to land himself the most proper lady as his "future bride"... not even caring for their own input so much as they make him look good. Rightfully so, this has landed him with... quite a growing list of complaints from said women (such as one particular Earth mage who firmly stood against him a long while ago)... but to the ever-egotistical Lord himself, nothing would stop him from fulfilling his grandfather's goal of "giving the old ways back" to the proud land of Terra... ----------------- (Fun Facts): -Within the Zoras family, its always been a tradition to name each boy born after a Z-related name. Zedri's is derived from the irl name of Cedric (which (ironically) translates to "kindly and beloved") -Zedri's closeness with his grandfather could be linked to them sharing an "aura bond" together; a special type of phenomenon in which two mage relatives are born with identical

auras to allow a near-telepathic connection with eachother. Zedri can hear a pang of his grandfather's voice at the back of his head, sense certain emotional changes, enhance his own strength magic with him nearby, and vice-versa. -Zedri's own mother was originally arranged to marry Prince Caius, King Grayle's older brother who had perished in the "Wraith Night" war many years ago. Out of spite and heartbreak, Caius' fiancee scorned the Graystone royal family and went off to marry into the Zoras family instead. As proud as Zedri is of his heritage... part of him can't help but feel salty that he was this close to being legitimate royalty... -Knowing of his grandfather's connections to past St. Ravilda's pupils, Zedri can't help but try to find out ways to "maintain" old alliances like that to further increase his influence as a nobleman. Not too surprisingly, such "attempts" haven't exactly turned out well in his favor... -Within his own mage group, Zedri has Ana White being enlisted as a member of it (as recommended by her eager-socialite of a mother). Despite her mom's urging to "make friendly" with such a man like Zedri... Ana's always been rather uncomfortable and irritated with how selfish and chauvinistic Zedri's proven to be as a mage leader. Always hogging most of their mage mission earnings to himself, waving off Ana as some "pretty lil novice who should keep quiet", and not-so-subtly making some rather unsavory remarks regarding her friend group (including Tawnie and Kaz's crew). Unfortunately, knowing the difficulty of Healer mages making much successes on their own within the world of Terra... Ana feels like she has no choice but to put up with Zedri's behavior if it means keeping at least some food on the table for herself (and an ever-pleased smile on dear mommy's face).

#the three mages #my ocs #lord zoras #(finally here and in the (stinky) flesh lol)#my art #antagonists #bios

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cartoonfangirl1218 · 4 years

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Riverdale should have been a Disney show

Riverdale should have been a Disney show. There I said it. I'll admit the first season was fine Great even. Self-contained with an intriguing mystery and you waited at the edge of your seat for what will happen next. But then... Part of the problem for me is because I've read the original comics since I was a girl. I still do get some from my mom, and the way they have changed the characters just bug me.Betty used to be the girl next door, always hopeful, smart, trying to figure out the mystery. And it was perfect that she was a reporter because Betty was always someone who valued honesty so her being the roving reporter was perfect. And her taking pills for anxiety or some sort of disorder was also a nice take because she does take on so much, and tries so hard to help and be good and nice and perfect. All the stress. Archie was also great in the first season. A bit horny, but he means well, and he truly is an average American boy so his big trouble of choosing between music and football. He's a klutz and sometimes his plans go sideways but he means well, he's all for family and Riverdale and school spirit. None of this whole Red Hood/semi mafia/wrestling nonsense. I actually really liked their take on Veronica, she still a bit materialistic and thinks she can depend on her wealth to get her out of trouble but I do like their take on trying to be enterneauripal and working to act less high class society girl as she was used to.

Jughead, I'm conflicted with. Because he's good I guess as a brooding, investigative journalist he's good. It fits the setting of the show. But I do have a soft spot for him as the sane man to Archie. Going about his business, surprisingly philosophical. And you can't forget the most important attribute to him. His love of food! I miss that. Like the one scene in season 1, I forget what exactly but basically he ordered burgers and when Cole Sprouse just protectively held the burger to him...such a nice touch. That sort of guy I can see as a DCOM. The genius ditz I guess it's called. But he's not dumb. He just prefers napping to being awake.

Now the others...omg.I have a bone to pick when it comes to the other characters in Riverdale. Josie and the Pussycats-- they are such lively musicians who solve crimes, sometimes in space. ABsolutely wasted here. Melody barely had any lines. And they didn't have Alex or Alexandra Cabot which was such a shame. I know, I know they're in the new Katy Keene show but having them be step-siblings who used to date is wrong and weird and bad and no! Stop having the twins in these shows with vaguly incesteous feelings. It's weird!

Kevin Keller, all his storylines revolve around his bfs or lack of bfs or how much he wants a bf. The Kevin of Archie comics was so much more well-rounded. He was head of ROTC, he was class president, he ran marathons, he was Veronica's bff, he was a reporter. He had an appetite to match Jughead's. He even had a brief crush on Jughead! He was so much better than this sham. He was confident in who he was and did his best to help others feel good about themselves too because he knows not everyone is lucky to come out as LGTBQ in a supportive environment.

Reggie. I think not giving him enough of an arc in season 1 really backfired because if he appears, it's only as Veronica's arm candy. Which is a shame because he is a good contrast to Archie. A bit richer yet a cheapskate. Thinks he's a casanova, loves being the class prankster. A modern day politician with his sweet words when all he cares about himself. Basically like

Yet he has his hidden depths with his neglectful workaholic parents and jealousy of Archie's popularity. Cheryl. Omg Cheryl. They have ruined you here. I'm sorry, I do NOT find any of her lines iconic. It's like she swallowed urban dictionary and a gothic novel and came out all jumbled in a google translate. She may be abused but the way she still treats others like shit and gaslights her gf and makes everything about her is just...ugh!!! OMg, comics Cheryl is actually fun and iconic. She's as rich and pretty as Veronica and unafraid to use it. She wants to be a star like a modern day influencer. She's a red-haired Sharpay Evans basically.

Also Jason, her twin whom they sadly killed off. He was also fun like a meaner, snobbier version of Reggie. But with a huge crush on Betty which I think could have been used to milk such drama.

Polly also got hit badly. She was a good older sister. She was a reporter, and inspired Betty's enviormental-feminist activities. A sane person. Not a cult worshipping cuckoo. Toni Topaz, ah she was so good in season 2 and then they made her Cheryl's arm candy. Alas. I liked her as a friend to Jughead. In the comics, she was his equal in food contests. That's no small feat. She was cool, and joined Betty's band and... she was her own person. Remember when Toni used to be a photographer for the South Side paper. Yeah. Basically Toni as a 3d character with personality. Please return.

Dilton. Oh Dilton. Once the smartest person in the Archie universe and they turned you into a survival freak to get killed by the gargoyle king. Or whomever. I just remember he got killed somehow. Honestly, they should have stuck to smart Dilton. They need a smart scientist there, cuz no one is using their brains in Riverdale.

Chuck. They have done you SUCH A DISSERVICE! So so bad. Chuck was a good person! He was a cartoonist, and a basketball player and Archie's friend. (Yeah, that's right Archie has friends in the comics. Even though Riverdale makes some effort to show Archie and Jug's bond, they're mainly consorting with their gfs. In the comics, they had guy nights. Reggie, Chuck, Kevin, Dilton, Moose. Come on show. Friendships are just as important.) And what did they do, make him a lying scumbag, turn him good and then have him arrested because of what Cheryl did! No, no no. Bad writers. Just no. Ethel Muggs. You have also been wronged in season 3. Making her a crazy freak. Ethel in season 1 was nice. Ethel in the comics is nice. Plain but with a good heart even though she had a slightly obsessive crush on Jughead. Here, making her cult worshipper.... smdh. Okay at this point I know I sound like a bitter, bitter person complaining how it'S nOt liKE tHe cOmICs. But hey, I admit season 1 was good even if they changed the characters a bit. It’s just that I watched Riverdale because of the property it derived from. Because of the comics. At the least I expected some faithfulness to the characters. Not make them all so inconsistent and crazy.

It's just the writing is so inconsistent! The plots hop around and so do their moods. Bughead and Choni broke up for one episode and then they got right back together. Even though they had VALID reasons to break up. Nope. That made fans mad. So they had to get back together. Ugh. And Archie got attacked by a bear and was so traumatized that he broke up with Veronica because "he's changed" for like two episodes before forgetting about it and going back to Veronica. Oh which brings me to the ridiculous "love triangle" of Archie/Reggie/Veronica where she couldn't choose. Please, Archie and Veronica were reuniting and planning to go run away for a weekend together. Reggie was completely forgotten until he walked in on them. And Veronica couldn't decide because she loves them both? No, she didn't. She may have felt bad to tell Reggie but it's not because she loved him. Forgetting a guy so quickly...yeah great proof of love. Horniness maybe. But her indecisiveness makes her look bad. Don’t tease a will they, won’t they when the answer is so obvious. If you're going to do something like that, you should have there be something called CONSEQUENCES! They can get back together but at least wait. Wait 8 episodes at least so they can have character development. But who am I kidding. Character development is not the goal of this show. The character's just move because the writer's want them too not because it fits their personalities. Such as Archie's grieved reaction for baby Teeth in season 3.

Not only do I have no idea when (the ridiculously named) Baby Teeth appeared, much less why Archie or I should care about his death. But sometimes the show juggles too much. Too many characters. Too many plots. It's all so ugh!!! So my final thought on this is... Riverdale should have been a disney channel sitcom. Archie comics are about family friendly entertainment and sometimes imparted lessons... well so does Disney. I get the appeal of having Riverdale reach a new teen generation, but from what I can see the only big thing Riverdale on CW is that it allows alcohol and gartituous sex scenes.

Which is another small gripe of mine. I can handle sex scenes (hello Magic Mike XXL) but so many at such inappropriate moments too It's like that scene in an action movie where they suddenly kiss when they should be running for their lives. No teen is that horny all the time. Plus there's always less is more. If one kisses so much it loses the meaning. If you think your shirtless Archie is going to distract me from lack of plot haha. No. Plot and consistency still sucks and shirtless Archie does not make it better.

But Riverdale as a Disney show can work. After all the comic stories are a bit formulaic. It's all high school hijinks. And all the characters fit an archetype. Archie, the protagonist. Veronica, the fashionista. Betty, the reporter. Jughead, the slacker. Reggie, the class clown/bad friend. Cheryl, the Sharpay, Kevin, the sane one. And if people want a season long story arc with dramatics, Disney can actually handle it too. After all they had the mysterious "threat' lurking in the background of My babysitter's a vampire season 2. Or the Juliet and Mason saga of Wizards of Waverly Place. And if people want adult situations, look on to Jessie. Rewatching an episode now, there were so many adult jokes and references that flew over my head so they could sneak those in. Heck, Disney channel is infamous for all the innuendos they manage. And they handle consistency. Cody and Bailey broke up in Suite life on deck, they actually stayed broken up for a good half season. Gabe matured from a prankster tween to teen in love in Good Luck Charlie. Actions have consequences, characters grow. Storytelling 101

And the best part is they don't even have to think too hard for the plots of the week. They literally can build on stories from the comics. All 80 years of it. And I have put some examples right here from my own Archie comics. Like Veronica literally being the fashion police.

Veronica and Cheryl teaming up + rolling around in their money.

Cheryl changing the Cherry Blossom Festival to the Cheryl Blossom Festival

Archie doing his classic Valentine's Day mix up

Veronica and Betty buy Cheryl’s maid service when her father forces her to get a job.

Jughead and Trula (Jughead's nemesis & psychoanalyst in training) get amnesia and become friends.

A boy dares to change Veronica

Jughead falls in love with the lunch-lady

Betty and Veronica pretending to be distressed damsels to get Archie's attention (it backfires)

Toni and Jughead foil each other in a food eating contest.

Betty's cast causes more pain to other students

Reggie dates Cheryl (for real)

Reggie helps Kevin dress for the dance and his mystery date

Riverdale Shore.

Cabot vs Lodge

I think all this pretty much illustrates my point. Archie comics equals Disney sitcom all by itself.

#Anti Riverdale #my opinions #random musings #salty rant #archie comics

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onf-headcanons · 3 years

Text

ONF in Demon AU

A/N : Is clearing idea dumps from drafts, this would be the second version of modern AU

Hi, does anyone remember the idea of illegitimate child of Satan from here and a random Lucifer!Hyojin moodboard here?

ALSO YOU TOTALLY CAN IMAGINE THIS IN A REVERSE WAY, ANGEL AU (where reader is a reincarnation version fragment of Archangel but this one idea dump/establishment will be done for another day)

ALSO you can totally imagine it as deity AU, example that you are Zeus reincarnation but you awaken late and you need to stop Kronos for his rampage. Or even you are Odin and you need to stop Modern version Ragnarok this time. And ONF members could be tie with other Greek/Roman gods. This one will be fun should OH MY GIRL and B1A4 are tied in too. Its just idea I am not sure if I will expand this. But discussions are welcome

(There is no harm to think it as late Victorian or any other era you like, it is just I felt it is better to write in a familiar timeline as I dont want to do something wrong)

So below are just a few establishment for the AU, I am not gonna divide this into 2 scenarios so warning this is going to be long post.

Ok even though I did mentioned illegitimate or forgotten child. This is plausible for your family comes from bloodline that related to demonXhuman ancestors.

Also it truly depends on you. Making into a throne inheritance war or

Reader come of age and their soul are reincarnated royal demon (not neccesary Satan) so there are some demons/demoness guarding you from you are still a child (kinda like those 2 characters from Good omens or Maleficent)

for the above idea, readers magical heritage only awaken once they pass a certain birthday 16, 18 or 20 or 21, up to you. So you suddenly can see mythical creatures.

It could be your bloodline awakened but you are not that qualified to ascend throne or because of your human blood you cannot hide yourself from angel/demon hunter so you have your own demon guardians

Lets say you are imagining on something big world building, again derived from the establishment for familiar au, it is definitely plausible for you to have other "candidates" and they have their demonic godparents/guardians as well

Example, should you go for inheritance war type, maybe you have a distant related sibling(s). It will be fun if you, have ONF members as your guardians while your sibling(s) have other kpop groups. Presumably to name, Dreamcatcher, ONEUS, ATEEZ, PENTAGON or ASTRO... in short its totally flexible.

To add, (and this is an idea i use to draft for fake pilot episode for a homework I worked), you could tally idols and number of idols you wanna integrate into the story to "Lesser Ley of Solomon", linking your bloodline towith King Solomon (*disclaimer, loosely based mythically). 72 demons, how many demons for 1 person is totally depend on you. Whether number of demons/demoness one have on their side equals to their power/ability (or even how many support they obtain) is up to you.

(and disclaimer I am not Christian this is just an idea dump so dont start cultural bashing. again this ia just an idea dump and I am not planning to touch sensitive issues yet.)

Ok enough world building, lets move to story wise.

You could be growing in orphanage it adds more mystery of your bloodline/heritage or similar to the familiar au, living with your family but your family later died on accident. Your parents bloodline combine making you are the perfect vessel for the reincarnation or maybe its a tradition like every 100 hundred years you will reincarnate or something. Again its flexible.

The moment you realize you are seeing things was you noticed similar aura of each person appeared on similar day. You might not get to see who is watching before you actually confronted to the air that you will contact the police

You might really go file a report but after several times the police be like dear there is no a single soul stalking you tho

then out of depressed, you accidentally get yourself into accident and your demon guardian shows up.

Or, because you started to able to see mythical creatures. Mythical creatures starts to notice your existence as well. And that somewhat gives off your location to other candidates through gossiping (should this is inheritance war type of story). Then your guardian show up to protect you when you are attacked by rival sibling’s demons.

Could be you visited some witch to get your ability to see mythical creatures covered up? Recommended by a friendly non related sibling or a friend you made/could be angel?

You thought you only got one but it surprised you that you actually got 7 (later 6)

As this was different from summoning because they are guardians either assigned or volunteered. There is no need for you to provide them anything. And different from familiar au, there is no need to leave them in your home. To ensure your safety they must follow you 247

For now I would be thinking our boys actually guards you in a daily shift. Example, Hyojin on Monday, Changyoon on Tuesday, Seungjun on Wednesday, Jaeyoung on Thursday, Minkyun on Friday, Yuto on Saturday, Minseok on Sunday. (after Minseok departs, the other members rotate themselves to do the Sunday shift)

Since their shift are like that, you sometimes take chance to hangout with them. Eating out with Hyojin, Arcades with Yuto. mostly happens Sunday.

I am thinking it might be fun which your predecessors of the throne are very eager to get the throne, you are just trying to keep out of trouble. So in another way, demon ONFs get to experience the modern human world in a more chill way, it was not just guarding you, but also trying to experience human world. You could like summon them?/keep them by your side just like a normal sibling (Especially if you are the type that grow up alone without any siblings)'

Cues in ONF members actually understand your preference and remembers them very well. So you could not help relying on them as days pass by.

You are defo gonna get an ultimate rival and a friend that shares the same circumstances as you. Maybe the first rival sibling ends up being your friend after they know you are not intending to compete. But there are some rivals are more aggressive out there.

Could be you knew a few demon hunters but they know you meant no harm and then they just let you go

It will be more fun if existences of your kind triggers inner civil war between demon hunters/angels. Because there is also some distant “siblings” of yours wish to live their live quietly but some parties does not agree of letting your kind roaming free and feeling the bloodline must end.

Should you are the type to compete for your birthright (because you are too irritated of people keep coming to kill you non stop). They are happy to serve you till the end as you embracing your darker side. (Well I am not sure to give ONF members and reader loveline here so I will not talk about it for now)For this version, to explain Minseok’s departure , I would prefer that Minseok is back at hell to be your team’s spy, monitoring all political moves and changes.There are still bottom line morality, you are not really slaughtering your way through. But you do make sure the other party wont come to look for trouble anymore.They are going to train you to make sure you are ready. Fighting in physical and magic.That friendly sibling joins on training you too.

You are definitely getting strict critiques from Hyojin and Seungjun during the beginning of your training.

My preferences, you get a friendly sibling(s) where their demon guardians end up being BFF with yours. (RTK and MIXNINE side effect, sorry)

Characterization should be the same as those I have established from the familiar au. Just the world building and some settings that are slightly different.

Hyojin is to keep the trait of his preference on human food

Changyoon is to keep his nagging trait

Seungjun might help you with studies (not solidify him as a nerd but there is tendency that he will)

Jaeyoung is more to the body guard type

Minkyun defo gonna make friends with stray animals (either you house ends up becoming pet shelter, you becoming a foster mom for animals or you cannot keep any because you are allergic but mental supporting Minkyun is up to you)

Yuto definitely is the quiet but alert type same goes with Minseok

My preference stereotype for them would be the cinnamon rolls that would kill

Sometimes they might go.. “ I am a known demon back in hell but why I am doing this babysitting shit?”

But then ends up enjoying stuffs human does lol

Changyoon enjoying TikTok lol, they got famous because of their contents.

Defo gonna have movie night.

It will be funny if ONFs as demons themselves, got scared at the monsters/ghosts seen in horror movies. Bonus if you actually not scared of horror movies. And they are gonna question you out of disbelief like why the hell are you not scared? How can you not even flinch a single bit?

Reason : monsters and ghosts imagined by human beings do not look the same based on their knowledge.

They sometimes show themselves to other humans but rarely. Mostly just being the unseen follower behind you.

Cues in sometimes they forgot they are invisible, and picks up something from the mart and it gave people a fright. Example, Changyoon or Minkyun passes through a nice outfit and just took the hanged outfit out to place in front of himself, only to realise what he did after looking into a mirror nearby

Hmm my thoughts, Jaeyoung and Minseok would be the ones who would always their visiblity when you are out with them.

Hyojin and Changyoon would be the ones who prefer to keep their invisibility

Copying from familiar au, should you attend college or university, people might thought some members of demon!ONF are your boyfriend.

At first when they changed pattern starts to live close to you, they could not get the concepts of moral of human being well. You will be guiding them.

Could happen that you are so pissed off by someone at work and you could not help but ranting when you are at home.

(Of course the demon!ONF on that day saw what happened but you did insist on them to not do anything)

They might go like : “ Should I kill them for you?”

You : “What?”

Random ONF member : “I can do it to make look like an accident you know.”

You : “OMG NO”

You : “You know maybe you can try to mend things when they are trying to frame me on purpose.”

Random ONF member : “Gotcha”

For the you are not competing scenario, they would be always keeping you safe from harm until you died. Should you get married, you let them participated as relatives/friends. Cues in they even help you take care of your child later on. It could be even fun if you child does not inherit bloodline but they can see ONF members

I will stop here will write another post should i have more ideas to add.

Welp of course for a third option scenario, would be you being a supporter the friendly sibling of yours. You just wanna stay safe so you acted like an advisor role for that candidate, helping them to gain power but not participating directly. Like I said its flexible

For this one I would like to write it as you are just trying to chill with your quiet life but demon hunter, angels and aggressive candidates keeping coming at you.

Also for this one I would link to the point of unfavorable and forgotten child part.

Less favourable child gets assigned with less powerful or less aggressive demons

So for this story ONF aren't high class fighter demons at all. But they do excel in magics.

In opposite, you could the one who knows how to fight maybe because you are quite rebellious in personality.

The moment you found out there 3 parties wanna kill you and innocent less aggressive candidates, you snapped.

Maybe some candidates heard of your friendly sibling name and they rushed over to seek help. End up bump into you instead.

You : what kind of dad is *your biological demon dad name*?"

Cues in Demon ONF keep calming you down because they are afraid that rumours of you belittling your demon father might make their king angry

But you have your attitude and no shit is given. Because you understand that your life your destiny is in your own hands.

You : I wanted a peaceful life alone but now I have to deal with Angels, hunters and a bunch of siblings that I never met , never knew about each other, who all wants me dead.

You : its not fair.

To end it once and for all, you suggested to the friendly sibling to find other candidates that do not have any intentions to compete for throne. Form allies with them so that later own they could get votes for the throne and the rest of the gang could get a decorative chill title while living a peaceful life

Also suggested to the sibling of yours make use of the allies to protect less aggressive candidates

It worked politically. As most of the candidates work on slaughtering others to cut secure birthright, your ideal and policy of strengthen inner then tackle threat gain more favour. Finally your sibling gets the throne.

And you and your other members of allies might get duke duchess or something

This version of story would have and need slot of mind games. Political games as well. (Will be interesting to write but there will waaaaaay too much characters to take note.)

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loftec · 4 years

Note

Hi i don't know if anyone haven't ask you about it or i'm the only one who wants to read it but CAN YOU PLEASE SHARE YOUR NOTES (ch.44) i don't know if you were serious about that but i really would love to read them cause i'm obsessed with everything what is ntw related 🖤 hope ur well

Hi friend! It’s possibly just you (or one other person, in case of separate anons) but that is enough! I was absolutely serious.

Note on the notes! This is not all of it, because my notes for this chapter were often repetitive and very messy, and some older notes were from four years ago when I didn’t bother writing things out properly, so they barely make sense even to me. But! I’ve done my best to sort everything in some kind of linear order, and removed most of the repetition. And, well, you asked for it... sorry! 🖤

Ian shows up in the morning, Mickey digs out the magazine Iggy stole from Amelia’s dentist’s office the other day and confronts Ian about the big-ass article in Rolling Stone about IAN’S BAND, says he’s listened to some of their songs, takes out a paper where he’s written down some lyrics that sound strangely familiar.

You’re famous!

I’m in a band, people know about us right now, tomorrow they might not. I’m not famous.

You’re kinda famous.

Ian talks about Mickey recognizing him because of Frank. Hints that there might be several songs inspired by Mickey. It’s awkward as fuck, didn’t want you to know.

Were you ever gonna tell me?

Oh yeah, I had a plan. 3 dates, dinner and a movie, day out with Yev, dinner at my place turned vigorous love-making. Second prong; cohabitation, engagement, marriage, then on our wedding night I tell you about crushing on Justin Timberlake when I was 12,

then I tell you I’m semi-famous, if it still applies.

Mickey thinks his face might be on fire.

What the?

I’m fucking with you, Mick. Figured you already knew.

This again?

You angry?

No, I’m not fucking angry. Just-

Freaked out.

Kinda, yeah.

You shouldn’t be. Please.

It’s weird that I didn’t know, I feel like a schmuck. (And I’m pretty sure by your count we’ve already been on those first two dates.)

I’m sorry. I thought you knew and by some fucking miracle didn’t treat me different. I’d been gearing up to maybe have to have this conversation on our date, ‘cause it’s shit sometimes, you know? I don’t do interviews and I never talk about myself when I gotta do them, but there’s still a limelight and a lot of bullshit that complicates

I’ve been crushing on you since we met basically, and I thought I’d just… let it run its course, keep my mouth shut about it and deal until it went away and we could remain friends without me fucking it up.

Didn’t work, by the way.

Good.

Mickey is talking about it with Etch, who suggests that Ian’s been writing at the diner for a reason.

Etch looks up some lyrics and Mickey caps locks them to Ian

You might have inspired a few lately…

Fuck off. How many?

Since we met? Pretty much all of them.

Maybe one or two made it on to the album, but I wrote those before we really got to know each other so they’re just like… about moments, and how I would feel around you.

Didn’t think of it as creepy but it kinda sounds that way now.

No it’s fine

I won’t do it again.

Said it’s fine. Kinda like it.

Yeah?

You gonna tell me which ones are about me, or is that a secret too?

What are you doing tonight?

Thought you said you were going on tour?

We are, it starts tonight. It’s a small fan club gig here in Chicago.

You have a fan club?

Kinda. I’ll put you on the guest list if you want to come.

(Mickey calls Svetlana to make sure Yevgeny can stay with her over the weekend.)

It’s fine if you don’t want to, we’ll do something else when I get back.

Calm your tits Gallagher, course I wanna go. Needed to make sure I’ve got Yev covered.

Oh okay, good. You’re on the list. Doors at 7, gig starts at 8, no support.

You’ve got no chill.

(Ian doesn’t answer for a while)

I like it.

Good, that was torture. Never doing that again.

(Etch teases him about having his nose in his phone, and makes him aware of new guests arriving)

Gotta get back to work

Yeah, me too. See you tonight?

No chill at all.

Ian invites him to the concert and gives Mickey his phone number. Mickey makes sure Yevgeny stays with his mom on saturday, and after work he goes home and gets ready. Showers and cleans himself thoroughly, puts on cologne and a band t-shirt he hasn’t worn in ages, it’s gotten kinda tight on him since he got it. (He puts on a dress shirt first, tucks it into his pants and glares at his reflection).

He’s on the guest list when he gets there, the girl in the box office can’t find him at first but then Anne shows up and points him out, he’s on the VIP list and gets a pass that he’s told he needs to carry so it’s visible. He makes a point of shoving it in the admission guy’s face, but then shoves the ostentatious thing down the pocket of his jeans. Anne shows him in and tells him about the gig, about how the fan club got started. Anne says he can go backstage but he says he’ll pass, thank you. He gets a beer and finds a good spot, there’s a balcony halfway through the venue where he’s got a perfect view of the stage without having to stand in the front.

They text a little, Mickey says he’s there and Ian says he’ll make a sign when they play a song inspired by him.

run-through of the concert, Ian touches the side of his nose when the song is about Mickey. He’s sexy as fuck, and has some ridiculous stripper moves.

He takes off his hoodie at some point, and sweating through his tank he and Anne put on gloves and start hitting the barrels with crowbars.

Anne is the maestro, maybe Ian crowd surfs at some point? Warren Ellis that violin, man. He has little routines with Anne, and some with Jon too. One song, Anne gets one of his guitars and he does noisy stuff with his violin and plays on the oil barrels with Stran, completely in sync.

They got some good stage banter going, and at some point Ian does a Tom Waits impression, and Anne groans and says he’ll sing the whole thing if they’re not careful. There’s a reason why he’s

For the encore, Ian touches the side of his nose and they start playing a song, Anne saying that this is a first. It looks like Ian is about to sing, but then it looks like he changes his mind and they start playing a song that Mickey sure as fuck hope isn’t about him. The insufferable man on a date right next to Mickey tells the woman he’s with that they were about to play the mysterious title track from their last album that never ended up on the record

“it’s derivative, but cute”

how can it be a title track if it’s not on the album

the guy talks about how he’s got a friend working as an engineer in the studio and he’s sent him an early demo version. It’s not their best song by far, but it’s cool that pretty much no one else has heard it.

Mickey asks the girl if she’s ok with this joker, and she says she’s fine. He offers to get her a cab or something, if she wants to get out of there.

She says she’s not interested

Lady, if I wanted to get with either of you, it wouldn’t be you. Just sayin, I ain’t picky, but that guy would’ve gotten the boot ten minutes into the date if he were here with me, no offense.

WHAT IF.

The concert is over, and crowd starts to let up. Then a fight breaks out at the front and Mickey makes his way towards it. It’s over before he gets there, and sees a guy in his 40s with a bleeding nose, and Lip shaking out his fist, a security guard between them.

Mickey talks to the guard and defuses the situation, putting the bleeding man in the position of a sad overzealous fan. It somehow warms Lip to him, absurdly, and he finds himself apologized to, Lip shaking his hand and wincing when Mickey grips his bruised knuckles a little too hard. Lip vaguely explains that that was an old ex of Ian’s, a real piece of work, and then offers Mickey to come backstage with them to see Ian. Mickey declines.

It’s Lip, Carl and Debbie (Liam is too young, and Fiona too pregnant).

“I was drunk, and wrong, and when I’m wrong I say I’m wrong. (IT’S FROM DIRTY DANCING YOU LITERALLY FORGET EVERY TIME AND HAVE TO GOOGLE IT WHENEVER READING THIS NOTE should I really be quoting Baby’s dad in this fic? Probably. If anyone can, it’s Lip.) And Ian tells me you’ve been there for him a lot lately

I wouldn’t say that

But he did, he doesn’t tell me a lot these days, but he told me that.

Mickey gets another beer at the bar as people mill towards the merch and exit, he sits on a stool with an eye on the backstage passage. He watches the band come out to talk to some of the lingering fans and sign shit. Ian comes out and is immediately surrounded by fans, he locks eyes with Mickey across the room and Mickey raises his beer in a silent cheers. Ian comes up to him after a few minutes, he looks damp and exhilarated and unexpectedly nervous,

How was it?

Not bad, Gallagher.

he asks Mickey over. He has to pack up his shit and do the rounds, but he’ll be done in half an hour, tops. Mickey says he’ll meet him outside.

Ian leaves and Mickey finishes his beer, watching Ian talk to some fans, signing shit and taking pictures. He goes for a piss and then goes out for a smoke.

Ian comes out after twenty minutes, carrying two guitar cases and a large wheelie-bag. Mickey takes one of the guitars off his hands and they walk together.

(maybe Ian has a banjo and he gives it to Mickey to carry and Mickey is all really? I wanna kick your ass so bad right now, country boy, but then carries it anyway.) (banjos are cool)

Walk from the club. Mickey mentions talking to Lip. They talk about Ian’s Tom Waits impression. You’re not musically illiterate at all! Talk about Mickey’s Radiohead tee that he stole from a hookup when he was sixteen, he’s grown into it now. Talk about Ian’s onstage dancing, used to be a stripper, well, not saying you can’t still do private performances (?? you know what I mean! this is not what they’re saying but you’ll remember it) (Note from 2020: I DID NOT REMEMBER IT.)

Talk about wanting to learn playing the trumpet. Don’t have trumpet playing lips.

”Sure you and your lips can do whatever you set your heart to, I believe in you.”

Looks at Mickey and smiles.

”What?”

”You’ve been flirting with me since we first met, haven’t you?”

”Maybe.”

”Huh”

“What?”

“Oh nothing.” “Just re-evaluating everything you’ve ever said to me.”

”Re-evaluate this;” gives Ian the finger.

”That an invitation?”

”Fuck you is what it is,”

“sounds like an invitation.”

Ian tells him a little about his different instruments, Mickey picks up the beat up guitar Gus first gave to Ian and strums it, Ian asks him to play him something but Mickey snorts and says he’s counting on getting laid tonight and him playing would be detrimental to that plan. Ian doesn’t think so, but accepts it when Mickey gives him the guitar.

”I’ve walked some thousand miles,” he starts softly, eyes on his left hand, moving over the strings, ”I have slept many hundred nights, and people’ve said hello and bye through the years since you were mine. But don’t think I’ll stop my mourning, don’t I know it’s overdue. Just because I’ve gotten older, none the wiser I cry for you.”

”Honey, cutie, sweetie-pie,” ”My darling boy, sweet old times, as long as I keep you in mind I will remember what love is like. So, don’t think I’ll stop my mourning, don’t I know it’s overdue.”

”Just because I’ve gotten older, none the wiser.”

”I cry for you.”

I’M THINKING OF WRITING MY OWN SONG BECAUSE I WAS THIS MOMENT TO BE MORE BEFORE SUNSET THAN ANYTHING, ALL SMILES AND DRAMA FREE. SO MAYBE A TEXT THAT IS A LITTLE MORE STRAIGHTFORWARD.

Ian plays the song and when he’s done, Mickey kisses him and they have really enthusiastic sex on the couch. Mickey is about to leave after when Ian invites him to stay,

How about some long-ass foreplay on the couch and then they move into the bedroom.

They start on the couch, they take it to the bedroom, they collapse on the bed after and Mickey is feeling too good to argue when Ian mumbles at him to “stay”.

(Sings the song, says it doesn’t mean anything. It’s just a song, it’s one quick thought put under a spotlight. Feeling like he should have known Mickey his whole life already. It’s too much, isn’t it? In the kitchen.

”do you normally take guys home and serenade them?”

”nah, don’t think it’d be very effective with most.”

”But you figured I’d swoon?”

”Figured you’d want the truth.”

”which is?”)

??? Need to find a good mix of excitement and new and easy, balanced with ho shit wtf are we doing this isn’t going to end well i think i fucking love him shut the fuck up. needs to be sexy and a little rough, as well as painfully sincere against better knowledge. kissing will do that. they’re doing stuff the way they usually do stuff, but for some reason it feels completely different.

Important that Mickey kisses him.

They stand up and stand chest to chest, Ian says they don’t have to do anything, Mickey says shut up and get naked

he helps ian take his shirt off and kisses him the second his face comes back into view

They fucks on the couch.

OR ALT FADE CUT END and don’t go explicit. Just saying, it’s an option. A valid option.

They can go at it in one of the sequels? Like the roadtrip can be more explicit? If I want? But also not?

I mean, there is such a thing as a nice middle ground right.

I just don’t think I’m interested in going all out porn after 40+ chapters of whatever.

THEY KISS AND THEN THERE’S A MOTHERFUCKING FADE TO BLACK MY FRIEND, BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT I HAVE DECIDED. Soz

WHAT IF!!

Iggy comes in, is all: guess what I found at the dentist this morning?

M: again? Did Amelia break another tooth?

I: It’ll grow back, take a look at this

E: Did you steal that from the dentist’s office?

M: Rolling Stone, wtf?

E: your dentist’s got rolling stone?

Mickey reads the headlines out loud as a customer comes in and asks Etch about something they’ve lost the other day, and Etch starts rifling through boxes behind the counter as Mickey moves over to sit down in Ian’s booth, rifling through the magazine.

M: what am I looking for?

I: I marked the page

E: what’s this note?

Mickey starts reading the article, realizing that the blurred picture is of Ian, and the interview is with Ian, and holy shit. Ian is legit famous.

Etch starts reading the list of coffees, eventually turning the page over and pointing out that there’s a phone number.

Iggy comes to the diner in the morning, Etch is rifling through stuff behind the counter and Mickey is doing the rounds with the few guests still there after the morning rush.

Iggy shows him the magazine he found at the dentist’s and Etch is in the background like wtf is this, reading from Ian’s note with the coffee orders, Mickey only half listens, trying to take in the fact that Ian is fucking famous.

Etch says there’s a phone number too and Mickey brushes him off.

Then he’s like, hold the fuck up! And gets the note from the trash and tries the number, and Ian fucking answers. And they have the you’re famous conversation on the phone and voila, Mickey has his number and vice versa.

So Mickey calls Ian in the morning, then there’s text talk during the day.

From Ian

So, you’ve had my number for x days and you only now decided to use it?

That’s cold.

From Mickey

You wrote it on a piece of paper you then balled up and threw on the floor, asshole, it’s a miracle it didn’t end up in the trash. didn’t know I had it until this morning.

You suck at this. (This is a nice revelation that he likes, but Maybe that doesn’t come across in text.

Not a complaint btw, just gleeful observation.

From Ian

Are we still on?

From Mickey

Of course.

Dumbass.

Ian

I probably deserved that.

At some point Mickey starts capslocking and sending lyrics to Ian, who has to explain through text why he’s written songs about Mickey, saying that he’ll point them out tonight.

HERE’S A QUESTION

SHOULD I SKIP THE WHOLE “WRITING SONGS ABOUT MICKEY” BUSINESS??

Isn’t it enough that Ian is famous and kept this fact from Mickey? Isn’t the writing songs business a little creepy? and if he did write songs about Mickey, would he really publish them without Mickey’s consent? No. Maybe I’m deliriously tired and about to fall ill right now, but I actually think I should skip that part. It’s a little sad because it’s been part of this idea for three years, but if I’m uncertain about it now imagine how I’m going to feel about it later?

When I started writing this story, it was supposed to be a quick and silly thing, and now it’s something else. It’s not important or anything, but also it is. To me. And making a decision on the rating was a big deal for me, and I think this is another one of those things. I’ve been holding on to this idea for so long but when I really think about it, is it even romantic? It’s romantic in that kind of teenage dream way, maybe? It’s more romantic to me if they fall in love for reasons other than Ian writing songs. But he’s written NTW, and he still thinks about performing it live, but we skip the whole thing about songs being about Mickey.

So they talk on the phone in the morning, and then there’s a text coming in after a little while asking if Mickey wants to come to the show.

HEYHO IT’S A REVOLUTION AND I FEEL FREE

Mickey and Ian text after the show (after Mickey declines going backstage) Ian asks him to meet him round back in twenty minutes. When Mickey goes out there, he sees Ian talking to a couple of fans by the bus and Mickey hangs back to smoke while he waits. The fans leave and Ian looks around, checks his watch, he has a bunch of guitars with him.

I AM LEANING HEAVILY TOWARDS MICKEY KISSING IAN HERE. He’s like “Stop, hold this” giving Ian back the guitar, so he can grab on to him and kiss him, smiling against Ian lips as the guitar tips over and clatters against the asphalt.

They’re outside Ian’s house, Ian says he has to get up at an unholy hour tomorrow. Invites him in anyway.

They’re in the elevator, then they’re in Ian’s apartment. Ian plays him the song, Before sunset ending.

almost none of that rhymed, just letting you know. kinda embarrassing.

(almost none of that rhymed, just letting you know. kinda embarrassing.

yeah, it’s not a very good song. is why we cut it from the record

oh yeah? thought it was ‘cause of the like, intensely personal subject

that too)

They smile at each other like fools and Mickey feels like he is exactly where he’s supposed to be, and there’s no rush. Fade to black.

Etch finds the paper, says there’s a phone number on it. Mickey dials the number and goes out back as it rings out. When Ian answers, he reads a question from the interview and they talk.

He goes back into the diner and basically blows the whole thing off, it doesn’t make any difference to him and he has to go back to work. Yevgeny does his homework and Iggy leaves, and Ian invites Mickey to the gig via text. Etch invites Yevgeny to stay over at theirs for a movie night.

Does Mickey tell Yev about the gig?

Start with Mickey out back, smoking. The phone rings and he waits for Etch to take it, but it keeps ringing. He bangs the door and yells PHONE and then it stops ringing. He kills the cigarette and goes back inside. Etch is behind the counter talking on the phone and going through the lost and found, looking for whatever the caller has lost. Mickey clears a table. It’s afternoon. Etch hangs up but keeps going through stuff in the box, talking to Mickey, when Iggy comes in.

It’s maybe more like afternoon (?) when Iggy comes in and shows Mickey the magazine. He calls Ian and they have a quick conversation (he probably goes outside to have it, to escape his audience) and they establish that Ian is sorta famous. Then they text back and forth a little, until Ian invites him to the show.

Mickey calls Svet to arrange it so Yev can stay with her, and then accepts. He goes home after work to eat, have a shower and change out of his clothes. He wears the only band tee he owns, mostly because it’s funny and because it’s kinda tight and he doesn’t think he looks too bad in it (and a dress shirt is way too much for a concert not-date, not that he tried on a couple first. Then he does a little bit of cyberstalking only to find very little personal information and a lot of crazy fans. Maybe he watches a couple of music videos, but they’re all really weird cartoons so they give him nothing. They’re cool though, and guess the music’s alright, even though he doesn’t have a connection yet to it so it’s hard to tell if he likes it.

Yevgeny calls, because Mickey switched the days and he wants to know why. Mickey asks if he knows about the Broken Bells, and Yev’s like duh who doesn’t? And freaks out when Mickey tells him about Ian. He doesn’t tell him about the whole date situation though, just that he’s going to the concert. Maybe Yev asks for some merch.

Mickey takes an Uber to the venue, even though it’s not too far from the diner (but on the other side, so at least a 30 minute walk) and it seems like they’ve already started letting people in. He hangs back until the admissions office is clear and then tells the lady that he’s on some kinda guest list. She can’t find him, and he’s about to give up and go home when he sees a familiar figure in the background. He calls her Stay-puft first, but then also remembers that her name is Anne and calls her that too. She remembers him, and finds him on a different (VIP) list, the venue staff woman is embarrassed, but Anne is borderline flirting she’s so nice about the mistake. Mickey gets a pass that he’s supposed to keep around his neck, but he shows it to the guards and then tucks it down his back pocket. Anne shows him inside the venue and asks if he wants to come backstage and say hello, but he kindly declines.

He has a quick peruse of the merch table (he checks the CDs, and then sees a smaller table next to the merch with a guy handing out pins, Mickey talks to him and finds out that it’s “fan club” pins to commemorate the gig and Mickey asks if his VIP pass gets him one, it does, and then the guy asks if Mickey wants to sign up for the newsletter) and then gets a beer, before finding a good spot on the mezzanine floor. He’s got a balcony railing for support and beer holder, and he’s got an excellent view of the stage. The floor is filling up with people packing themselves against the front. He texts Ian saying he’s here and they text a little back and forth. He gets someone to watch his spot and goes to the restroom. There, he finds a kid getting cornered by a middle-aged man. The kid looks vaguely familiar and not older than sixteen. Mickey steps in and casually accuses the guy of creeping on a kid and the guy immediately backs off, the kid says thanks and that he’s eighteen (because it’s an 18+ gig) and Mickey says sure.

Getting back to his spot, There is a douchebag on a date behind him that he wants to move away from, but he doesn’t want to surrender his good spot. He decides to tune him out, he’ll hopefully shut up once the set starts. It’s just a couple of minutes after eight when the lights dim and a song comes on louder than before, and the band start coming out on the stage. Ian is wearing jeans and a hoodie, like he normally does, but he’s clean shaven and his normally smiling face is set in blank determination. Anne is the front person, and she commands the audience with the slightest gesture. It’s obvious that the venue is filled with old fans, they all know exactly what to do exactly when she asks them to do it. Ian’s got like four guitars and a whole lot of other shit around him, and he’s super focused on doing his stuff, but now and then he does little routines with Anne and Jon, and gets a big cheer for his occasional solos.

A few songs in, Ian gets up to stand on one of the oil barrels, and Anne starts banging on it with a crowbar. That’s when Mickey starts to really get into it. It’s cool, and it’s a lot harder than Ian made it out to be, but kind of theatrical at the same time. Ian is brilliant, even though he dances like an uncoordinated stripper.

There is banter between the songs, mainly between Anne and Stran (girl sure bangs those drums!) Anne starts banging one of the oil barrels again and Ian and Jon do a little step dance next to each other across the scene.

At some point Ian takes off his hoodie. He’s wearing a white tank and he’s already sweating through it. He gives his guitar to Anne and puts on gloves. Him and Stran do a little bant-y thing and then they start a new song by both banging the barrels in unison while Anne and Jon start playing (maybe Jon plays something else, like an electric piano or a marimba?). At the crescendo of the song, Ian takes out a baseball bat and goes to town on the barrel, sweat shining on his muscly arms and his wet hair flopping down his forehead.

They go off the stage, but come back when the crowd chants a song, stomping their feet and clapping their hands. Anne says they’ve got one more song for them, and they start playing. She moves away from the microphone and it looks for a second like Ian is going to step up and sing. Douchebag behind Mickey tells his date about an unreleased b-side to the last album. But then Ian steps back and says something to Stran, who nods and moves into a slightly different beat. Without blinking Anne, steps back up to the mic and sings the last song.

Some of the crowd lingers by the stage after the lights have gone back on, but most move towards the bar or the merch table. Mickey hangs back to watch the crew take down the stage, and the two oil barrels being handed over to someone in the audience, along with set lists and left-over picks. Walking down from the mezzanine floor to go look for the restrooms, a fight breaks out on the floor. Mickey immediately recognizes one of them as Lip and the other one as the creep from the bathroom, and intervenes by clearly positioning himself on Lip’s side and reminding the creep that he could get him in trouble, the creep backs off and agrees when Mickey tells the security guards it was an accident (in a way that isn’t obviously helpful, but in the end still makes sure that Lip isn’t hurt or arrested for punching a guy) (because he did, he punched a guy, who is thrown out by the guards after Mickey’s intervention). Lip, Carl, Debbie, and Liam is there, but it’s only Lip who knows who Mickey is. He hangs back to talk to Mickey while his siblings go backstage (and PROBABLY DOESN’T tell him a little bit about the guy being Ian’s ex, making it clear that Lip really doesn’t like him). He also apologizes to Mickey for last time. He asks if Mickey wants to go backstage, but Mickey declines. He’s decided earlier with Ian through text that he’ll wait for him and thinks it’s better to do it somewhere that isn’t backstage where he might get asked questions and have to talk to people who aren’t Ian.

He gets another beer and stands in the bar next to the merch, watching as Ian and the rest of the band come out to sign some stuff and shake hands. Ian still looks slightly damp from sweat, even though he’s obviously changed clothes and run a towel through his hair. Mickey wonders if his skin tastes like salt. He drinks his beer.

Ian comes up to him after a little while, asking well? (or texts him, which probably makes more sense? But I also want Mickey to see Ian post-show)

Not bad Gallagher, not bad at all.

Ian looks pleased and asks if Mickey wants to come over, even though Ian has an early morning. Mickey says yes and Ian asks him to wait until they’re done packing up.

Mickey finishes his beer, goes to the restroom (where he sees douchebag by the urinal) and then he goes outside to wait for Ian. (He talks to douchebag’s date and offers to get her a taxi before the guy comes out.) He smokes a cigarette, and before he knows it, Ian is by his side, carrying a fuck ton of guitars. They decide to walk, for some reason, talking on the way.

HEY

Ian says he’s got a car coming and they walk a little bit to where they’re getting picked up. They talk about trumpet lips and stuff and Mickey kisses him. They get interrupted by the car arriving, and Ian picks up his guitars and says “you coming?”

Fuck yes

They sit in silence in the car, but it’s a good one. Ian says

Lip told me what you did back there.

He didn’t tell you shit.

He did, told me you stepped in and stopped him from getting arrested

He was getting his ass kicked, someone had to help the guy

And Liam told me you got him out of a tough situation in the restroom

That was Liam? Some pedo’s creeping on a kid by the urinal, I’m not gonna stand by doing nothing.

You know that’s not what happened

Yeah, well, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

He isn’t a pedo, and Lip would’ve beat the shit outta him if you hadn’t stepped in.

You defending this guy?

No, trying to say thanks.

You’re shit at it.

Thank you, Mickey

Better.

So… friend of yours.

No. (Ian isn’t forthcoming with the info)

Alright, whatever.

And he’s definitely not someone I wanna talk about, tonight.

(Ian is smiling at him, all the promise in the world in his eyes)

Fucking fair enough.

They arrive.

OR Ian joins Mickey outside and they stand around and talk

They talk about Ian’s Tom Waits impression. You’re not musically illiterate at all! Talk about Mickey’s Radiohead tee that he stole from a hookup when he was sixteen, he’s grown into it now. Talk about Ian’s onstage dancing, used to be a stripper, well, not saying you can’t still do private performances (?? you know what I mean! this is not what they’re saying but you’ll remember it)

Talk about wanting to learn playing the trumpet. Don’t have trumpet playing lips.

”Sure you and your lips can do whatever you set your heart to, I believe in you.”

Looks at Mickey and smiles.

”What?”

”You’ve been flirting with me since we first met, haven’t you?”

”Maybe.”

”Huh”

“What?”

“Oh nothing.” “Just re-evaluating everything you’ve ever said to me.”

”Re-evaluate this;” gives Ian the finger.

”That an invitation?”

”Fuck you is what it is,”

“sounds like an invitation.”

That’s when a taxi pulls up and Ian walks toward it

Could use some help with these.

They ride in silence

They carry Ian’s instruments from the car, and Ian says something cute

Mickey’s like “Stop, hold this” giving Ian back the guitar, so he can grab on to him and kiss him, smiling against Ian lips as the guitar tips over and clatters on the asphalt.

They’re outside Ian’s house, Ian says he has to get up at an unholy hour tomorrow. Invites him in anyway.

There he asks Ian to play him something that other people don’t get to hear (mostly to be a cheeky monkey, but also because he wants it) and Ian plays him None the wiser.

I’ve walked a thousand miles to end up in your corner booth

Grinning idiot when you bitch, falling fool for your dirty mouth

Sitting on my busy hands when you swagger by and I say -

Hey waiter, pour some coffee in my cup and bring me my toast, before you fuck me up

I’ve been in some thousand fights and it’s clear that so have you, too

Faded threats and cigarettes, sharp glass polished by the sea

Wish you’d put your hands on me and make your feelings clear

Hey waiter

meet me ‘round the back door, tell me I’ve got it wrong and fuck me up some more

‘Cause I’ve fallen a thousand times but never felt this way before, like I should have met you long ago

Walked with you by my side and had your back through thick and thin

Sickness and health, come what may, and I say-

Hey waiter

pop the damn champagne

None the wiser

you fuck me up again

Hey waiter

tell me you’ll be mine

I’ll give you my life

and fuck you up in kind

I wish I was just a plain white shirt

then you could wear me off to work

and I’d be one of the things you keep close to your heart

soft white cotton wrapped around your heart

(Contrasts have faded now

but color still haunt my mind

And words ripped off from their lines

Make bitter tears flood my eyes

Don’t think I’ll stop my mourning

Don’t I know it’s overdue

Just because I’ve gotten older

None the wiser, I cry for you)

Honey, cutie, sweetie-pie

My darling boy, sweet old times

As long as I keep you in mind

I will remember what love is like

So, don’t think I’ll stop my mourning

Don’t I know it’s overdue

Just because I’ve gotten older

None the wiser, I cry for you

’Cause I always say ’I love you’

when I mean ’turn out the light’

And I say ’let’s run away’

when I just mean ’stay the night’

But the words you want to hear

you will never hear from me

I’ll never say ’happy anniversary’

Never stay to say ’happy anniversary’

Bom-chaka bom-chak 23 verses

And he climbed up a mountain

And he looked around

Some kind of forest

With all these dinosaurs

And he stripped his woman

He stripped her bare

But there was a pterodactyl

There!

#Anonymous

21 notes · View notes

disasteromnia · 5 years

Photo

a hoe really out here doing this huh…anyway this is the short version of her profile and I’ll edit it once I complete everything….god I hope that happens soon

☃ 【Alesia’s Profile】 ☃

❄ Name Data ❄

Name

Xxxx Xxxx Xxxxxxx

Alias

Alesia

Katakana

アリシア

Nickname(s)

Ali

Chaos Trio Leader, Headache #1 (by Crowley)

Mom (by Ace & Kalim)

Tsundere (by close friends, usually just to make her more flustered)

イーラ (a hint to her real name!)

Etymology

Alesia : “noble natured” ; a variant of the name Alice, which was derived from the Germanic name Adalheidis

❄ Personal Data ❄

Gender

Female

Sexuality

Birthday

"January 18th"

Age

Horoscope

Capricorn

Blood Type

AB (Rh-negative)

Hometown

According to Ali, it’s always snowing in her hometown

Race

“Human”

Song Themes

“It’s Not Like I Like You!!” (painfully obvious lol)

❄ Professional Data ❄

Affiliation(s)

Night Raven College

Dorm

Diasomnia

Year

2nd Year

Best subject(s)

Sciences

Hobbies

Calligraphy, playing guitar, singing, stargazing

Under the cut : Personality, Background, Relationship, and Magic

❄ Personality ❄

Ali is a very gentle and friendly person, often befriending most people easily. She can also be quite reckless, always doing whatever she feels at the moment instead of thinking things through. She is often out causing chaos in Night Raven College with others (notably, Choco and Wende) much to the staff’s chagrin. She is also self aware of her annoyance and proudly claims herself as a 12 yr old, as if it were some sort of medal.

Despite her usual childishness, Ali is very capable of stepping up to the responsibility when she feels like it. Usually, it’s when one of her friends is feeling down and needs someone to talk to. While she does allow others to come to her for comfort, she is very hesitant on relying on others for emotional support. She has a few people she openly cries to, but she never tells them why.

When she feels like the other party is comfortable enough with her, she will continue to talk to no end. Often, these conversations are without rhyme or reason as she just genuinely enjoys being able to be with friends. There is, however, a particular topic that she refuses to speak of. No matter how close someone may be to her, she will never talk about her time before Night Raven College. If anyone were to ask her why she refused to talk, she’d answer vaguely like how it was just a normal life before quickly changing topics. If someone were to try and pry the information out of her, she immediately acts cold and defensive, and the air around her starts becoming freezing. Depending on how hard they try to pry, she will not hesitate to cut off that person from her life right then and there.

As long as someone doesn’t try and dig into her past, she will remain fiercely loyal and caring for them, no matter if they were close friends or not. However, this blind loyalty is usually her downfall, especially when it comes to a certain contract-making dorm.

Ali isn’t quick to get mad, and is usually unaffected by whatever people say of her. Most times, she takes any insults as compliments. The only time she ever openly expresses anger, aside from someone trying to pry her past out of her, is when people point out her feelings for two certain individuals. She is very tsundere, openly expressing that she has no such feelings despite being beet red.

Alignment

Chaotic Neutral

Strengths:

Loyal, caring, is usually up to no good so it won’t be a boring time, does anything just to have a good time, great friend to bring along to buffets, unaffected by most things, either helps you or lets you copy her homework, has enough confidence to do stupid things in public, great for hugs during a hot day because her body feels cold

Weaknesses

Is usually up to no good so expect to get in trouble, tsundere, blind loyalty usually leads to her in very unfavorable situations. childishness that makes her look apathetic at times, horrible sleeping schedule, very reckless

Skills

Quick to learn (but never studies), decent flexibility and has good lower body strength, natural air cooler, guitar serenading

❄ Appearance ❄

Hair

“Dark brown,” her hair reaches down to her shoulder area and usually has a a portion of it tied up with a green or black ribbon.

Eyes

“Black eyes,” however when using magic there is a strange pale green tint.

Height

165 cm / 5 ft. 4 in.

Weight

120 lbs / 54 kg

B/W/H

35-27-36 in. / 88-68-91 cm

Chest

34C (US)

❄ Background ❄

Background story unlocks at Bond Level 10

❄ Magic ❄

Ice Magic

Ali is very proficient in using ice magic, and often uses it to cause mischief. However, when she becomes too flustered her will accidentally freeze anything within a 3 meter radius of her.

Freezing Arrows : an offensive-type spell that can be very deadly ; a large oval-shaped ice block appears in front of her and continuously shoots arrows made of ice. It is able to not only freeze anything it touches, but impale her targets. The spell ends once the ice block has been fully used up or if destroyed.

Hailstorm : an offensive-type spell similar to Freezing Arrows, but is not as deadly. Instead of shooting arrows, the ice block shoots chunks of ice, and at most it can give a concussion and some cuts and bruises.

Frost Flower Shield : a defensive-type spell ; she creates a large shield resembling a flower. Penetrating through the thick ice is very difficult, even if it is up against fire magic.

Ice Wall : a defensive-type spell ; often used to create an obstacle for whoever is trying to catch her. (i.e. Crowley)

Ice Floor : Ali freezes the floor underneath her, making it very hard for anyone to stand on it.

Snow Maiden’s Dance : A fighting style she created by herself, she creates ice sword projectiles imbued with other elements. It was based off the exotic traditional dances she saw as a child. She currently has 5 dances. She often uses these for show, but makes sure not to put too much power into it. (to be expanded with what 5 elements she can use it with)

Water Magic

She uses water magic as an extension to her Ice Magic. She doesn’t use it as much, and often uses water for healing.

❄ Relationships ❄

Canon Characters ; from Ali’s perspective

Diasomnia

Malleus Draconia : Ah Mr. Dorm Leader! Mhmm mhmm, I’m not all too close to him, but he makes it easy to tease Sebek.

Lilia Vanrouge : Ah, the grandpa! He’s much easier to talk to, we actually get along fairly well. I just wished he’d stop teasing me.

Silver : Has a VERY punchable face. I would kick him in the gut…What?! No, I don’t like that moron! DEFINITELY DO NOT!

Sebek Zigvolt : Ah, that brat. He’s fun to mess with. Any time I join them for tea time and Malleus isn’t there, I make sure to give him a heart attack. Heh.

Heartslabyul

Riddle Rosehearts : Listen, if you’re gonna threaten to cut my head off make sure to actually do it, coward!

Ace Trappola : MY SON! I love you so much you are my precious child I-

Deuce Spade: Also has a very punchable face. Of course I mean what I say- I DO NOT LIKE HIM EITHER

Trey Clover : Broccoli? I don’t talk to him much, but he looks really cool with his bike. I think his hair looks stupid tho.

Cater Diamond : HEEEEEEEEY BROOOOOOOOOO! We make lots of inappropriate jokes together and it usually ends in both of us choking on a drink or food (laugh)

Octavinelle

All three of them are the end of me. That is all.

Scarabia

Kalim Al-Asim : MY OTHER SON I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BOTH OF YOU ARE SO PRECIOUS TO ME (ugly mother tears)

Jamil Viper : Jamil I swear to god if you do anything to Kalim you better be ready to catch these frozen hands-

Pomefiore

Vil Schoenheit : I know he can be…a bit over bearing, but thanks to him my skin is clear even though I sleep horribly. His fashion tips tho…they’re 50/50 for me.

Epel Felmier : YOU ARE MY SON. DON’T ASK, NOW LET ME LOVE YOU MY CHILD-

Rook Hunt : The one time we talked he asked me to put an apple on my head while he blindfolds himself and try to shoot it. Thankfully, it really did hit the apple. Though truth be told, I wouldn’t mind doing it again.

Ignihyde

Idia Shroud : Honestly, sometimes I forget what actually looks like. Whenever I think of him I just think of his mains in our game. Ah- yeah, I play with him from time to time. You would not like to see him in competitive play.

Ortho Shroud : He’s such a good kid, but what’s with his feet-

Savanaclaw

Leona Kingscholar : HOW IS HE SO LAZY AND HAVE A GOOD BODY!? BOY SHOW ME YOUR TIPS-

Jack Howl : One time I punched him and he said I hit like a grandma. He was not wrong. Oh, and don’t tell him this, but I have his number saved as “Extra Virgin Olive Oil.”

Ruggie Bucchi : He’s basically…my spirit animal. Hah.

#twisted wonderland #twistedwonderland #twisted wonderland oc #twisted wonderland self insert

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rebclwithoutacause · 5 years

Text

oh hi there, welcome to holiday, JACKSON-DELANEY “DEAN” DAWSON. oh wait, you’ve been here. has anyone ever told you that you look like XAVIER SERRANO? you’re MALE and use HE/HIM? just checking. and you’ve been here for ALL YOUR LIFE? you’re TWENTY-TWO too, right? just curious. you work over at BIG ED’S CAR REPAIRS still? you know people say you’re LOYAL & COURAGEOUS, but STUBBORN & IMPULSIVE so i guess take that with a grain of salt. well, at least i do know you’re excited for HALLOWEEN. bye now!

& BASICS.

FULL NAME: Jackson-Delaney Alfred Dawson NICKNAME(S): Dean DOB: May 4th, 1997 AGE: twenty-two FROM: Holiday, Maine OCCUPATION: mechanic ORIENTATION: bisexual actually gay but he don’t wanna admit that SOCIAL STATUS: lower/working class NOW PLAYING: Summertime Blues by Eddie Cochran

& BIOGRAPHY.

Dean’s parents must have had it in for him from the start, giving him the first name “Jackson-Delaney” & insisting he be addressed in full. It was important to their family history, they said. “Jackson” for his father and “Delaney” for some long-dead ancestor that frankly, had probably amounted to little else other than breeding. Dean always hated it, even when he was young. His name made him stick out like a sore thumb — made him the primary target for local bullies.

It didn’t help that they were poor as all hell, either. Dean spent the majority of his formative years in a cramped little trailer. His father was a chain smoker and a raging alcoholic, who squandered away what little money they had. Dean’s easiest memories are of smoke filled lungs and the smell of cheap whiskey.

His mother was the gentle sort, who loved him dearly. Unfortunately she was stuck in an abusive marriage with Jackson Dawson — who’s drunken mind would more often then not create conflicts between the two of them, which he would resolve with his fists. Dean was seven when his father started targeting him, too.

Everyone at school knew he had a rough upbringing. The teachers gave him that look. He was trouble even before trouble began. Most of the other kids pushed him away. But in fourth grade, at the age of nine, he was accepted into a group of fellow rag-tag delinquents. He was given the handle “Dean” and somehow, it just stuck.

They understood one another in a way no one else did, accepted and loved one another despite their many flaws. As they approached high school they formed a “gang” of sorts, complete with matching leather jackets. “The Hornets” they called themselves. They were all leather and grease, bloody knuckles and scraped knees. But a family, nonetheless. The Hornets are what got Dean through the hardest points in his life — providing him with support and companionship. They always tried to help him, giving him a place to stay or some extra food when things got bad at home. their efforts veiled by cheap excuses like “my mom hates you, so come piss her off” or “we gotta beef you up, Dean-y boy,” He appreciated that.

Dean was fourteen when his father passed. The cause of death, a car accident that not only took his old man’s life, but also severely disabled his mother. Now unable to walk, Dean was tasked with caring for them both. His father was gone but the damage had been done. Dean was hardened to the world in a way no child ever should be. Finding peace in only his music and the tiny slivers of teen rebellion that the Hornets provided him.

Dean flunked out of high school in his final year. Moving on to get a job as a mechanic at thd local garage. It’s been four years, but the hornets are still together. Stuck in that phase of teen rebellion that so preoccupies the troubled youth.

Dean wants to go back to school — his dream is to become a fireman. He wants to save people, rather than watch them fade away like he had his mother. However, he fears he’s not smart enough to do so, and even worse, what if the gang broke up? Dean couldn’t live with that. They’re the only family he has left.

HEADCANONS/MISC.

I know…he seems like a piece of shit…and he is but at least he knows it. & he’s trying…very hard to become a better person. Honestly, he probably needs some hardcore therapy but talking about your feelings is for pussies.

Will absolutely deck you if you DARE try and call him Jackson/Jack/Delaney/any derivative of his actual name

Dean’s BEST BUDDY is the leader of the hornets! They’ve been thick as thieves since they met. They’re also secretly crushing on one another? They kissed one night at a party in ninth grade. They were both heckin drunk, so they assume the other one doesn’t remember, and they never talked about it. Ever since then tho? There’s been some sexual tension in the gang.

Dean moved in with his best buddy when his mom died and now they share a shitty little apartment.

The hornets aren’t as tough as they think…sure they can crack a few skulls but honestly? they really care about one another and they’re all secretly a little soft.

And yeah, they’re all Greasers. It’s pretty extra.

All Dean listens to is Rock N’ Roll. The guy pomps his hair every day and carries a fucking comb in his back pocket.

#BringTheHornets

#tw car accident #tw child abuse #holidcyintro

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motherstone · 5 years

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I haven’t read Supernova, I just now something went up with his mom. I don’t mind spoilers and if you feel up to it what happened?

Spoilers!! For Supernova under the cut: This is pretty long and it seems like the app doesnt support the Keep Reading function, so don't read this if you dont wanna be spoiled

Look, the book starts with Trellis discovering his mother and his much younger self in a derelict house with one cramped room. Would’ve been inconspicious, if it weren’t for a few, a tad bit worrying details: the house is in the middle of a snow mountain range with piles of snow, there is no heat in the house, nor is there any furniture aside from the bed and a stool. They have no possessions, and there was only one bowl and spoon. He and his mother are huddled together, sleeping for warmth, presumably.

The thing is, if she really died of cold, Trellis would be gone as well. But he isn’t, and seems to be rather fine if not weary and gaunt. From what I can derive, she likely died from sickness. I doubt starvation is the main cause, but likely a factor. We can presume that the mother makes sure Trellis eats more than her, which became the deciding factor he is to survive, if not barely.

Now, the course of the memory diverges thanks to Older Emily’s intervention (which is obvious from the start. Her clothes and her referencing Trellis’s catchphrase “Hold tight.” Are clues). She gives little Trellis a scarf, and all three of them including older Trellis leaves the corpse behind and into the tundra. The thing is, that’s probably… Not what happened. Why were they there in the first place? Where did younger Trellis go? If he even did go? How did he get to Virgil?

Theory time: he and his mother are on the run.

Trellis and his mother SHOULD be part of the Royal family, but they aren’t living as such. And considering the age gao between Luger and Trellis, I’d throw in my bet that they’re half-brothers. Luger must’ve been conceived before the Elf King’s face became too decomposed and warped to the normal person (HOW exactly a corpse could reproduce, I dunno, and a sperm’s life is. Short. Perhaps the King is brain dead and Ikol is just controlling basic bodily functions without the soul?). Trellis on the other hand… Look, we can see what sort of person the Elf King is and I highly doubt he was conceived within the grounds of love and consent. There’s honestly little information to derive from, so I’ll just bullshit my way through this.

Trellis’s mother must’ve known the Elf King is NOT going to care for his son even though he will acknowledge him as something he sired, and thus took him away for his safety. This outraged the King, to the point he condemned the baby and his mother for treason (not exactly far off from what he does either), leading to Trellis losing his ranking in the Royal family. I don’t think his mother will tell him the truth unless she has no other choice. Virgil and Luger doesn’t know.

Now this is during war time, around nearly two decades prior before the main timeline (Technically, 16. That’s how old Trellis is). Gulfen is a desert except for that one island no one knows where it’s located, so I doubt that’s where he and his mom escaped. They likely escaped to Windsor, outside the Elf King’s reach. Or so they thought (I wanted to headcanon that they got stranded while traversing the Nobuo ranges). I don’t think the citizens of Windsor took kindly to elves, and were likely hostile to them (Layra, Book 5. Riva, Book 6). They’re probably lucky that they have a form of income and sustenance if they’re civilians with business, and even THAT’S at risk. It’s worse because it’s likely the Elf Army would scorn them, so it’s a double-edge blade because you have enemies on two sides. But as refugees… They’re likely going to suffer, and require great luck to avoid persecution and lynching AND capture by the Elf Army.

So little Trellis would grow up with hardship, worrying when’s the next meal, worrying about getting sick, where to stay, to sleep that is safe, the typical worries of a poor homeless person (that I know too well). The Elf Army is likely after them, so they always have to be on the move, with little time for reprieve. Malnourishment and the lack of a source of education, Trellis would probably have had stunted development. He is probably small for his age. And probably adopted a cynical and depressing worldview fast. Kid’s already traumatized at a young age :(

One day they got caught off guard, the Elf Army caught up to them, ans with what little possessions they have, they left behind. The southern cities, towns and villages are compromised, the Elf Army is coming from the east, leaving them no choice but to go through the Nobuo ranges. That’s when tragedy struck: no proper clothes and equipment, with weakened bodies due to starvation and dehydration, they’re at great risk for hypothermia and sickness. And there is a blizzard. They’ll die outside, frozen. Then they saw an abandoned house, and took refuge there.

The blizzard didn’t calmed down for days and nights, and food has run out. They, at that point, has accepted they’re going to die. They decided to sleep it off; if they wake up, yay, survived another day with a dim future. If not, well, at least they’re together. Only Trellis survived.

I don’t think he’ll leave. If he COULD leave. He’s alone, he doesn’t know anyone except his mother and he knows the Elf Army is out to get him.

But what’s the point? The only thing that made sense in his life is dead, and he doesn’t know what else to do. So, he lays down next to her, and tries to sleep to never wake up.

On the other hand, Virgil hears about his brother’s bullshit, exposes it, and pleads to spare their lives. Shit, now it’s public, if he kills them now, he’ll lose morale. Damn, okay, I’ll spare the child, but the mother must die.

The better equipped Elf Army catches up to them a few days later, and barges into the house. They instead discover corpses of their targets. The child is curled up in his mother’s embrace. The soldier grabs one of its cold arms to bury, when he sees a puff of breath.

He’s still alive. Freezing and unconscious, but alive.

They take him to his uncle, emaciated, sick, and haunted but alive. Virgil becomes his caretaker from then on. Luger is shocked he had a brother, but even with initial trepidation, took him in without complaint.

And the rest is history.

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color-me-jazzy · 6 years

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Assimilation and The Cost of the Cloak of Opportunity

From birth to around five years old, all children are allowed to live in their own little bubble. When they aren’t busy playing in their mom’s shadow, they’re picking up language, mannerisms, and curiosity about the world they see daily. Right about when a child’s personality has become their own and is blossoming into their unique flower, we throw them into a pot of other blossoming flowers called school. Generally, parents trust teachers to toss this pot of social flowers around until they’ve mixed into even more unique and well-rounded flowers that like engaging with other flowers. Unfortunately, what actually happens is these flowers are tossed around and the dissimilar flowers that cannot change themselves to grow like the “dominant” flowers are pushed to the bottom of the pot, where they will wither away. This is elementary school in today’s American education system for minorities. Right when a black child is sure of who they are as a six-year-old, they are sent to an institution that will subconsciously tell them who they are and where they come from is not good enough to be represented. Growing louder and more blatant, black kids will be reminded of this for 11 more years and into adulthood.

Assimilation to the macro-culture, or White America, is subconsciously instilled in minorities at a very young age. However, isn’t made a conscious survival tactic for the student until around middle school, when race is a blatant differentiator amongst peer social groups. During the pivotal developmental stages of elementary school, students are given picture books full of only fair skinned individuals, subconsciously starting the process of assimilation to the macroculture through imagery. Reading material is only derived from white authors, teaching the thought process and social norms of the macroculture they are a part of. Only one side of history is told and repeated for 12 years of history classes, never acknowledging other cultures true journey to America. Teachers give praise to Martin Luther King Jr. but then hang a picture of the slave owning founding fathers next to his and expect a black student to feel comfortable and trust them. Elementary schools, and especially magnet or charter schools, have had a trend of showcasing “diversity” amongst their student body. While showcasing that their student body is 3% less white than the year previous, their learning material still remains created by and for those of the macroculture. With lack of representation in learning materials, the black student’s identity is lost in what they have learned is preparation for the real world. In a way, the lack of representation and stripping of identity into assimilation is the preparation the black student learns to use to be able to be seen in the same light and bestowed the same learning opportunities as their white peers.

As discussed in my previous post, black children are not seen as children but more as adults by the general public. Because the black child is not given the benefit of being a child in this world, a bias adult sees their actions through glasses of malice. Middle school is when the red target on the black student starts to faintly appear. Extreme and/or uncaused disciplinary actions are an additional obstacle minority students have to dodge on a daily basis. Innocent horse play that many boy middle schoolers take part in is deemed disrespectful misconduct if it is dressed in brown skin. However, if kids of a fairer skin complexation interact in a similar fashion, they are hurried along to their classrooms by teachers. Teachers begin to have less patience for the black student as they approach adolescence, especially the male. Black boys are exposed to the unfairness of the school disciplinary system at an early age to solidify the doubts teachers instill in their minds. For example, I had a friend in middle school who slept a lot in class because his mother worked nights and he had to watch his little sisters. The teacher never asked him his story, instead, started skipping him when handing out worksheets. When he would ask for a paper the teacher would tell him there is no use because he wasn’t going to be awake the next day to turn it in. Small encounters like this every day in multiple classes begin to add up and take a toll on one’s mental, emotional, academic, and overall self-esteem.

Black boys face unfair treatment; however, they are not the only ones. Black girls face their own set of obstacles starting as early as preschool. Rebecca Epstein, a Georgetown Law student, conducted a report that concluded, “disparities in how black girls are viewed emerge as early as age 5, when some children are still in preschool” and later adding “[learning that] Adultification begins as young as the age of 5 was particularly sobering. That means that adults may even see little girls in kindergarten differently, needing less nurturing and support than their white peers” (Epstein, 2015).

Adolescence brings curves and hormones that no girl ever asked for. When it comes to dress code, the black girls unwarranted changing body image puts her at the for front of violations because her simple shorts and top are now too sexual. The same shorts a skinnier child can wear and stay under the radar, are too distracting for the boys or male teachers to be around. So, she is taken out of the class, missing learning time, to get written up because her shorts don’t reach the tip of her fingers. Makenzie Chakara, a writer for americanprogress.org, states,

“Suspensions of black girls are often driven by teacher bias and inefficient mental health resources; they also occur when students break school rules that are inherently racially biased. For example, a charter school in Massachusetts recently suspended two black sisters for wearing natural braided hairstyles, which violated the school dress code” (Chakara, 2017).

Black girls are often exposed to early conditioning of the criminal justice system through unnecessary small encounters with the school disciplinary office. I, myself, was sent home from my primarily white middle school one day because another girl lied and said I had pushed her in the cafeteria. Without any other witnesses affirming her claim, not my A Honor Roll, perfect attendance, or squeaky clean disciplinary record gave me the benefit of the doubt. With this said, black kids are not perfect, just like no kid is perfect, and wrong doing deserves corrective action. However, the extreme difference in the level of punishment a black child receive versus a white child is evident. More often, a white child will receive the benefit of the doubt before a black child. Jaqueline Howard, a writer for CNN wrote an article discussing the findings of Georgetown Law’s research on the treatment of black girls. Howard plainly states, “the research suggests that adults may perceive that black girls need less nurturing and protection than white girls, which could influence how black girls are treated in the education or juvenile justice systems” (Howard, 2017).

Over all, school institutions paint a picture that all anyone has to do is get good grades and all doors are open to them. Of course, not acknowledging the social dynamic that one has to be dressed in to walk through these doors. In order to be a part of, a minority student must lay low. This means stripping the mannerisms and perspectives that makes one uniquely themselves when they walk into a learning institution and donning in their macroculture cloak of opportunity. Unfortunately, not all students of minority are able to assimilate to the macroculture easily or don’t see the point and fall to face the cycle built for African Americans of America. For the great deal of those who manage to maintain both identities within the two cultures, they know they have to manage personalities delicately, as to not become an outcast in either community. School systems showcase diversity while it is a trend but do not cater their materials to reflect their demographic, aiding in the stripping of micro-cultural identity and assimilation to the macro-culture. While the subconscious perpetuation of the racial hierarchy begins at an early age, it is enforced throughout all twelve years. While social identity is questioned within one’s self, a new identity, based on stereotypes, is forced onto black students through disciplinary actions.

Chakara, Mackenzie. “From Preschool to Prison: The Criminalization of Black Girls.” Center for American Progress, 13 Dec. 2017, www.americanprogress.org/issues/race/news/2017/12/08/443972/preschool-prison-criminalization-black-girls/.

Howard, Jacqueline. “Adults View Black Girls as 'Less Innocent,' Study Says.” CNN, Cable News Network, 28 June 2017, www.cnn.com/2017/06/28/health/black-girls-adultification-racial-bias-study/index.html.

Levin, Matt. “Data Exclusive: 75 Percent of Black California Boys Don't Meet State Reading Standards.” CALmatters, 12 Feb. 2018, calmatters.org/articles/data-exclusive-75-of-black-california-boys-dont-meet-reading-standards/.

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mildly-incoherent-ramblings · 3 years

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Alturas

Derived From, And An Offshoot Of “The Weekend In The Country” Writing Prompt, Given By Adam Gnade.

A Preface: This story is awful. I have tried to work through this experience for years. This is a work of semi-fiction I suppose, but most of this really did happen, and you can guess which character is based on me pretty easily. I do not condone ANY of the actions depicted here. Please, care for your animal friends, and your elderly family, and if you cannot, find help for them. Good fucking god find some help and fucking save them. Do everything in your power. I did not sleep a full night’s sleep for months after what I saw that weekend.

CW: animal abuse, animal neglect, self neglect, dementia, guns, gunfire, themes of transphobia/homophobia, domestic abuse, toxic family dynamics, misogyny, vivid sensory descriptions of these things.

Part 1: Knuckle Bones

The drive itself was not bad. There was felt a certain nostalgia for many trips down south to San Diego to visit my great aunt with the family when we were children, or to the north to see the snow in the winter. Dad got lost for a little while, but he refused to admit it, he just angrily grumbled to himself and yelled to the backseat if anyone made a noise that broke his concentration. We rode through miles of outstretched quiet roads interrupted by the occasional rest area, and only stopped briefly at points for food and gas, and to rotate who got to sit in the front seat. On freeways and then off of them and up into the endless hills, long winding roads that almost felt like going in circles we drove, all of us anticipating the destination. We were going to visit grandma and grandpa, my Dad’s stepmom and father. They lived on a little farm out in Alturas.

Alturas is a small town nestled up in the rightmost corner of California, bordered both by Nevada to the east and Oregon to the north. When we finally arrived there, the first thing I noticed were the hot air balloons. I had never seen them in person before. Floating out toward the horizon and above us and all around were hundreds of these drifting along, wicker baskets and all. Being mostly a city kid, I had almost forgotten they even existed. Peacefully scattered near and far in an expanse of clear blue sky I saw them; big beautiful ones with complex designs in an array of bright colors; mostly red and yellow with splotches of cyan and green, bits of neon pink. They reminded me of printer cartridges or SMPTE bars on a TV screen. I fixated on them as we rode up onto the main street of the town.

We stopped at a diner for breakfast, and the realization hit me that I was with my family and in a moderately conservative area. I would have no choice but to act as a woman here, I would not be given another option. I’d have to try my best to blend at least. Dressed in a baggy T-shirt and jeans, and a baseball cap backwards like some 90′s mall bro troupe, one could say that alone was a dead giveaway. But to these people, and to my family at the time, I was a dyke at best. At worst... lets not get into it.

We ate breakfast at this little place, dusty and kind of worn down, white walls yellowed over the years with tacky décor displayed upon them. The Don’t-Tread-On-Me flag hung up in the corner made me very nervous. Dad and my brother didn’t notice, but the old folks at the table next to us, and the truckers on the other side of the room, and the CHP officers grouped together at the bar shot daggers in my general direction, some of them holding their glare on me like snipers aiming for my head from the top of a building. I tried to eat quickly and eat well, especially since I hadn’t had anything that day except for gas station coffee and a pack of hostess mini donuts several hours before. I ate like I eat, which can be stereotyped as like how a man eats. At one point my brother said I wasn’t being polite, even though his table manners were about as bad, and the reason why he felt it different for me need not be spoken. Loud and clear.

My brother had a really hard time accepting my transition. Same with Dad. Neither will admit to it now but they both were cruel to me often, and for a while hoped they could just disregard this aspect of me and force me back into the box of womanhood until I gave up. When I first came out my brother he offered me a pair of jeans he didn’t wear anymore and asked me if I needed any advice on good cologne to wear, needed any razors, etc. This enthusiasm wouldn’t last. The next time he wanted money from me, or my weed, or something of mine he could sell, or someone he could point his anger toward, he would weaponize my former femininity against me and revert back to the same misogynistic behavior I had always known him to engage in. I was a woman again when he wanted me to be one, and I had no choice in this matter. This would go on for years. He still to this day has a deep subconscious hate for women, but thankfully and in despite of how sickening these implications are I have escaped this form of mistreatment after starting testosterone.

My Dad was a bit more open, he just didn’t know how to navigate it. He wanted to allow my brother to “have his own opinion” and opted to avoid discussion of it as much as possible. He would later learn that when it comes to something like this, there are no SIDES, there is either upholding the human need to live authentically or deny that need no matter how negatively this affected me and others like me. These days, he proudly supports me and is kind to the trans people in his neighborhood, and would like very much to take his kids to pride once covid is contained and its safe to attend large events again. He got better. Thank fucking god he got better.

We checked into an Inn down the road, got out and stretched our legs. My brother and I immediately went to go smoke a joint. We hid around the back of the building hoping Dad wouldn’t notice, but apparently we stank up the whole area and came back to him seething with anger. He sparked a cigarette, tried to calm down, and we unloaded our belongings from the car in silence. Then it was time to head to the farm.

A few miles out from town we drove through the acres of desolate farmland down a dirt and gravel road that seemed to go on forever. I didn’t recognize the area until we started pulling into the driveway to their little house. Dad was swearing and smacking his steering wheel, cursing no one in particular but frustrated at how the gravel would scratch the paint on his car. We were, though we did try to blend in, hilariously obvious city people.

I recognized the shapes first, the house, the big looming tree on the right side, the wire fences surrounding the property, the rusty old truck. I had only been here as a kindergartener so my exact recollection of this place was fuzzy, but I had fond memories of the animals and how happy grandma and grandpa were to see me. I felt some excitement to return to this place that I always felt to be so welcoming, warm and filled with love. Then we got closer.

The first thing I noticed were the dogs. Two gigantic rabid pitbulls, one chained to the tree in the yard and one chained to a fence post just to the side of the house behind him. They were both aggressively barking and pulling on their chains trying to get to our car, foaming at the mouths and vicious as hell. I am cautious to describe this because I am aware of a certain stigma around pitbulls and their commonly misunderstood demeanor, and I will add that I have never known any dog of this breed to be cruel in any way by nature. But these dogs, they were not aggressive out of any sort of inherent violence and hatred, they were scared. They wanted to escape. The felt us to be a threat. Their paws were caked in shit and mud, mucus leaking from their eyes and matts in their fur. There were big festering wounds on the side of the dog nearest the truck as though he was bitten by something. Before him, the remains of a cat who had been caught and torn to shreds lay splayed open and rotting in the summer heat, the carcass filled with maggots. Bits of the poor things insides were scattered around the yard.

I turned my eyes over toward the house. The building itself had deteriorated significantly. The paint was peeling and chipped. Rotting wood was visible underneath all covered in a thick, black mold. The entire yard was littered with trash; rusty old cans and plastic bags, rotting apple cores, some unidentifiable mounds of what I can only assume had once been food waste. Weeds overgrew dusty and dry, and the front porch itself was falling away barely keeping its shape. To the left of it, the garage was wide open and I could see the stacks upon stacks of busted furniture, rusted metal piping, lengths of barbed wire wrapped in bundles and all manner of poorly kept junk haphazardly packed against the inner side wall.

My father’s eyes went wide as we all sat in silence, shocked at the appearance of what was apparently the home his mom and dad had been living in for the last few decades, and just how much the state of this place had declined since our last visit. He held his fist to his mouth, clenched so tight you could see his knuckle bones through his skin. Pushing back tears, he tried his best to shake the face of disgust and horror from himself before cautiously opening the door. Under his breath, my brother uttered the phrase “what the fuck,” which immediately resulted in dad turning toward the back seat angrily and slamming his fist on the middle console, growling at him to shut the fuck up through clenched teeth. The spray of his spit fell on our faces. His expression had shifted to be dramatically similar to the dogs. Anger and defensiveness as a secondary reaction to an underlying feeling of danger, and a desire to escape the inevitable. I have nightmares of this face.

Just then grandpa came hobbling out from the garage clutching a 12 gauge shotgun, screaming for grandma that they had burglars on the premises and commanding us to leave. He pointed it upward and haphazardly fired a warning shot which went straight through the roof of the garage and aimed the smoking barrel directly at us. All three of us had our hands up instantly. Grandma came hobbling out of the house pulling through the dirt in her walker as quickly as she could, yelling for him to stop.

“Garland, that’s your fucking SON. And the grandchildren! They’ve come to visit, we just discussed this earlier this morning FOR FUCKS SAKE GARLAND PUT IT DOWN!” She grabbed his arm and he froze, the tension in his shoulders dropped. He lowered his weapon, staring at us puzzled as he processed the situation.

“ANDREW?” He yelled. “ANDREW IS THAT YOU SON?”

“Yes, Dad. Its us. Me and the kids.” he returned. He was shaking so much in the front seat I could feel it from the back. He slowly lowered his hands to his lap, my brother and I frozen in shock.

(part 2 coming soon)

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outvoo · 6 years

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Interview with Chef Tu David Phu

OutVoo Interview with Chef Tu David Phu

Conducted by Ian Ippolito & Merced Gonzalez (part 1)

Today we are talking with Chef Tu David Phu, a contestant on Bravo’s Top Chef and one of Oakland’s very own celebrities. Since Oakland is where OutVoo was born, we are thrilled that Chef Phu is a fan of our app:

“I love it! I feel it’s the best thing on the market right now that I’ve encountered. The usability of it is so straightforward, so simple. It’s cutting through all the crap.”

So how do you know Denise, the owner of Tay Ho, where we first met you? I was connected to Denise through Minh Tsai of Hodo (formerly Hodo Soy Beanery) when I was there for Tofu Classes. Denise reached out for feedback on Tay Ho so Minh and I went for dinner to check it out. We said, “Wait a minute, this is amazing, what do you need feedback on?” I told her to do her thing, feel confident and keep serving the food her Mom was cooking. The rice crepes, the bun xao and all the soups. I told her to talk to people and be herself. Tay Ho started blowing up and at the time Chef’s Feed reached out to me to pick three dining establishments that represent Oakland. I happened to pick Tay Ho with Denise, Drip Line with Nora and Pho Ga Huong Que with Leslie. It just happened to be three ethnic women and I think that speaks to who Oakland is and what Oakland is. And Tay Ho is exactly like a Saigon cafe would be.

We were just at AlaMar ... Chef Nelson!

Yes, we got to meet him! We invited him to the OutVoo launch party and he was very supportive and kind. He’s the nicest, nicest, most amazing person. And the ladies love him by the way - all my cousins, all my sisters!

And I’m sure some of the guys! There you go!

And May [Nelson’s wife] is definitely running the place! I love May!

We had a great time with Leslie Sbrocco & Liam Mayclem - Visit Oakland put on such a lovely event. We know you were just there, tell us about it. I launched my Oakland dining series Chefs Hawker Center at AlaMar. It was amazing. I teamed up with Chef Nelson for the first night and for the second night I did an Asian Islander concept. We had Hawaiian music and Reggae playing. We had Chris Yang of ‘aina, which is Chinese-Hawaiian from Hawaii. He was an alumni of Chris Cosentino’s Encanto camp from way back in the day. Shawn Naputi of Prubechu in the Mission. He does Guam Cuisine. The food is amazing. It has so many similarities to Filipino and Singaporean cuisine. Braised in coconut milk, the use of soy, the use of fish sauce, the use of spice, the use of ash - it’s so crazy.

We didn’t get to experience An. Tell us what made you decide to do that particular pop-up? That’s a great question. I have been professionally cooking for about 14 years - wow I’m old! I felt like I was exceptional at cooking. I’ve cooked in a few of the world’s top ten, Daniel being one of them, both in NY and the West Coast. I’ve been a sous Chef at two Michelin star restaurants. I felt like I was a great cook, but not a great Chef. I was cooking with a palette that I didn’t understand. This is not reflective of any other Chefs that cook cuisines outside of their culture. But for me the palette that my mother cooked for me really resonated with me. That’s how I found delicious. I remember having issues in my early culinary career because I would season the food always toward the way my mom taught me. What delicious was and is. That translated throughout the years. I’ve always had trouble understanding and feeling the soul of a dish like pot-au-feu. I felt like it was done good but I never, at least for myself, I never felt like it was done excellent. I didn’t know with those ingredients and that palette together, what was perfection, how far max could I take those ingredients. It was good, it was good, no doubt, but personally assessing myself and being my own worst critic, I felt like there was a disconnect. It didn’t speak to my soul. Within all that, after 12 years of cooking, I wanted to re-visit and connect to the food that spoke to my soul, which was the food that my mother cooked. And to make it more complicated I’m Vietnamese American. Vietnamese is many cultures. And depending on your province one culture would be more highlighted than the other which, then in turn would reflect how you cook. That’s one big factor. The second factor is that my family is from an Island and that means we ate all seafood. So my challenge was that I wanted to cook my mom’s food which was heavily seafood but Westerners didn’t identify with the kind of food my mom cooked or the kind of food I cook as Vietnamese. Isn’t that interesting? Because our Island is so far south and so seafood dominant it is more closely reflective of Cambodia. So the dishes that I had growing up only resonated within my family and not other Vietnamese Americans that I knew. And the stimulating part is that I had to dig into that, understand it, research it. To be fair there isn’t any American literature on this topic so I had to do my own research and piece things together. I spoke to my family, then traveled and curated my own cultural family story to explain to diners what the hell they’re eating. In a very indirect way to defend my stance to say that I am cooking Vietnamese food.

Do people get it? I’m sure it took some explaining. As opposed to kicking people out? I’m sensitive! (laughter) It took a lot of learning lessons. In the beginning, in the very beginning there are a lot of skeptics. People who were skeptical. Specifically Vietnamese Americans, and I don’t take that as an insult. I just took that as feedback as I needed to tell my story and/or I needed to tell my story better. So I took it as a challenge. That’s how my dinners evolved into this story telling event. It wasn’t a gimmick to be cool or increase sales. I just wanted to share myself in what I viewed wholeheartedly and spiritually as delicious from what my mother cooked for me.

You’ve said that the Pop Up allowed you to get out and meet the people that were eating your food and to tell your story. So people were coming for the entire experience. Definitely, that is exactly what it was. And along with that, as the series progressed and the dining experience progressed throughout the weeks and months I would have these very public encounters with food and I’d have a public encounter with the diners.

One of the first things I had trouble with was access to seaweed. On the island we eat a ton of seaweed. We use it in our desserts, we use it as a gelling agent. It’s everywhere on our island, and I just remember eating it on my travels to Vietnam. Along with that my mom would bring it back and we’d have it in our pantry and use it in, like, a stir fry. I couldn’t find anything at the store that even closely resembled the seaweed that I had growing up. The seaweed was only brought over and meant to be distributed to the Japanese and the Chinese communities. There was no demand for it from the Vietnamese community. I don’t think anybody did that on purpose it’s just a smaller population and that conversation never came up. So I was on a search to get seaweed and I heard that there was a bunch of local seaweed that people grow, that grows here in California. One thing led to another and I got connected to a gentleman named Kevin Kelley. He is a winemaker, his wine company is called Salinia Wine - this is free advertising for Kevin (laugh)! SF Gate called him a master at Cabernet Sauvignon. He makes small batches. Dude is amazing! He has a commercial license and he dives for and harvests sea palm. He used the sea palm to make a bitter that he uses as an alternative to Campari. I heard through the grapevine he was doing this and I contacted him through industry friends, “Hey I’m looking for these varietals of seaweeds, do they grow here in California?” For the next year and a half I would meet up with him four times out of the year during the summer months to go harvest seaweed. It’s grown to the point where I was able to introduce him to a local seafood vendor, Water 2 Table Fish Co., and he sells to them. We even got to name the varietals.

It just shows how one thing leads to another. Within that experience of my journey to get access to the seaweed my parents used to feed me, the kind that I had back in the old country. From there other stories evolved. I tell people that story while I’m serving them the seaweed that I harvested that week. They can understand not just culturally but the beauty of what is on their plate.

Tell us how excited you were to be San Francisco Chronicle’s Rising Star Chef 2017! It’s very humbling. I count my blessings everyday. I feel like the work I attempt to do, I don’t aim to try to get accolades, that is an after thought, but the fact that I got San Francisco Chronicle’s Rising Star Chef was amazing. I was so appreciative. Especially from a person like Paolo Lucchesi. He’s a young, energetic, motivated individual who wants to correct the social system with his skill set - which is writing about food. We’ll be talking about Paolo Lucchesi two decades from now. It’s such a huge compliment for him to dub me a rising star Chef. Amongst other amazing things that he’s said about me he said I was a trendsetter. If I can be a trendsetter in any sense I hope to inspire other Chefs to go down the same path that I have where they’re not just cooking food to be cool but cooking food to tell a story.

Did he share his reasoning for picking you? The same reasons that inspire me to cook are the same reasons that I got the Rising Star Chef . Mainly Paolo Lucchesi said that he really champions the fact that I am cooking purposefully. My story telling isn’t just to attract and entertain but it’s to inform and educate. Whether it’s sustainability, culture or social justice. I champion women a lot. As opposed to accrediting the amazing men that I’ve worked with in the industry a lot of my passions, skills and techniques have been derived from mothers and aunties that haven’t been championed in Michelin star, testosterone, very chauvinistic kitchens. I was raised by women and I’m very appreciative about that. I’m heterosexual but I find myself embracing my femininity and I don’t feel like there is anything wrong with that. I’ve always been soft spoken. I felt that I was hazed because of that in these male dominated kitchens. Trust me, I get down! That’s why I got this (Shows “Yes Chef” tattoo)! If you want a yes chef, I’ll give you a yes chef. As a young man you get angry and try to figure out your emotions. As I got more mature I started to understand more about myself. I started to learn and truly understand what inspired me and where I felt my work needed to be accredited to.

It’s the same thing in the LGBTQ community as well. A lot of my friends that I’ve worked with in the industry are LGBTQ. And I find that in the kitchens, as well as in the news and media, that there is an anti-LGBTQ culture. And for those on National TV, and especially if you’re ethnic, of color or maybe even religious, no matter what color you are, those play huge factors in being able to announce it publicly.

This is what I’m challenging all my peers, colleagues, friends and community on. Think about how you support your friend that’s of a different color, a different sexual orientation, a woman, whatever. If they’re of a different minority group and they’re being discriminated against, it’s 20 times more powerful if you stood up for them as opposed to them standing up for themselves. I just think it speaks volumes.

Stay tuned for part 2 when we discuss Oakland’s culinary renaissance and Top Chef!

OutVoo is available for download in the App Store.

#OutVoo #Top Chef #Food and Wine #sfchronicle #chef #cheflife #leslie sbrocco #liam mayclem #oakland

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