#but don't go into the anti communities just to hurt your own feelings and blame them for it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sophieinwonderland · 9 months

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A new hate blog is on the scene: Meet @no-context-endogenics

The DNI is rich when your whole blog is dedicated to witch-hunting and calling out endogenic systems by name. But let's see if this blog is even living up to its own name.

Here's the first post on their blog:

First... literally have no idea what's wrong with this. But second... Let's take a quick look at the pinned of this system they targeted.

Literally a traumagenic system.

IN THE FIRST POST OF THIS BLOG!

To be fair, they did post to the endogenic tags, but a lot of pro-endo traumagenic systems do when users like this make them feel unsafe in traumagenic spaces.

Right... which is why you posted the previous traumagenic system on your no-context-endogenics blog that claims to be about posting endos! 🙄

Also, I can't tell... are you lumping in mixed origin systems with "endos" here? It seems like you are, because the blog has a tendency of posting mixed origin systems too when it claims to be posting endos, as well as ones that just don't state their origins. Because many mixed origin systems do, in fact, have a disorder and are very public about it.

For example...

Mixed origin, polyfragmented DID system.

(Also, runs some of the coolest and most important plural blogs on Tumblr.)

Another post on this blog, which I'm not including here, was from a 14-year-old polyfragmented c-DID system. That system didn't say if they were endogenic or traumagenic, but I think it's safe to assume that they were most likely at least partially traumagenic.

And no, I think systems that harm the community definitely deserve hate. People who are out there calling out systems, fakeclaiming them, implicitly fakeclaiming trauma, bullying, etc.

But systems who are just existing as endogenic... sorry... we aren't your scapegoat.

I generally try to be nice with these. At least relatively.

But I'm going to fail this time.

You. Are. Pathetic.

All of you.

Endogenic systems have NOTHING to do with why systems are fakeclaimed. Do you want to know why systems are fakeclaimed? It's because systems... are weird. We are. We're a step too far from the norm and the average neurotypical singlet can't comprehend multiple existing in the same body together.

That makes us easy targets. And we should be standing together. We should be supporting each other.

But people like you are only interested in tearing us down because you're too cowardly to put the blame for your fakeclaiming on the actual fakeclaimers.

You want to talk about ruining the community, but you fakeclaim other systems. You hurt other systems. Including traumagenic DID systems. Because you're miserable and you have to inflict your misery on others to make yourselves feel better.

Have you ever been to Fakedisordercringe?

Because let me tell you, the people who get fakeclaimed there aren't usually fakeclaimed for being endogenic. Yes, of course they're anti-endo. But many who are targeted are traumagenic DID systems and it has nothing to do with endogenics at all.

Although... I guess that also applies to the @no-context-endogenics too, doesn't it? I mean, out of every post there, I think this might be the only one that's actually purely endogenic. (Not mixed origins, unknown or explicitly traumagenic.) Most of the blog is just Fakedisordercringe-style posts targeted at trauamagenic DID systems.

Minor bodied? Minor bodied with over 200 headmates? Using the word "headmates?" OSDD-1b? Fictive heavy? Undertale fictives?

The cringe subreddits would gobble you all up in a heartbeat.

And you know what the most incredible part of this is???

You're supporting them!

You give them the moral justification they need. You support this ridiculous narrative that there are these groups who are causing DID to not be taken seriously by... existing... often, in the case of most endogenic systems, not even claiming to have a disorder in the first place. Just... being plural.

And you give the okay for these singlets to feel morally justified in attacking and fakeclaiming systems just like your own.

You are EVERYTHING wrong with the system community.

You're the reason systems fear expressing themselves online or in public. The reason fakeclaiming is so rampant. You contribute to this toxic environment of fear and paranoia in system spaces.

You're not defending the system community.

YOU ARE THE ONES RUINING THIS COMMUNITY!

You're just a bunch of cyberbullies.

And the same goes for anybody supporting you too.

(And before anybody takes issue with me posting this when two of the bullies acting as admins for the blog are minor-bodied, I'm just going to remind you again that another one of their posts which I didn't share here targeted a 14-year-old polyfragmented DID system, so I really don't care about the ages of the bullies in the slightest.)

#syscourse #pro endo #pro endogenic #system discourse #bullying #ableism #cyber bullying #endogenic #fakeclaiming #systems #system #sysblr

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abyssleaves · 10 months

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Why I'll Be Remaining in the Lurking For Love Community

Ok.

Honestly, I really don't want to make this.

I'm way too old for fandom drama, and I don't need to be making myself a target. My gut is telling me that it's a bad idea to get involved, and I'm inviting trouble for myself by posting this.

But the most recent post against Tom is just ridiculous and I can't not speak my piece.

I'm not linking to it or reblogging it because I don't want to send hate anyone's way, and honestly because I'm going to block them as soon as this is posted. You can read mine and theirs for yourself and decide what you think.

As far as the “anti-Latino” posts that Tom liked, I can't speak to whether they do damage, or what Tom’s views actually are. I am not Latino, and I'm not Tom. It's not my place. But I will say I was aware of those posts long before I saw that “callout” post, and it's because multiple Latino artists I follow liked and retweeted them. At the time, I was given to understand that they were satirizing the fact that both were styles of stereotypes, but one was acceptable while the other was not, despite both being bad. I can't say, based on just those tweets, that I see any anti-Latino sentiment in Tom. I'm willing to admit that my knowledge on that front isn't bomb-proof.

The second point, well... I'm sorry to the friend that feels used. They're entitled to be hurt. And I will readily admit that I'm only able to respond to the info within that post. Maybe there IS more to it.

But I don't think that Tom ceasing contact over the hormones is surprising at all, from a mental health standpoint. Put yourself in his shoes: you're a trans person in US, which is its own struggle, and you've reached your mid/early 20s without being able to attain gender-affirming care. Now someone years younger than you just got the thing you want more than anything else. Sure, you might be happy for them. But that is also going to hurt, horribly. You really have three options:

1) stay friends and smother the bitterness/possible resentment. That will either end up ruining your mental health, or coming out and ruining the friendship anyway.

2) Ask your friend not to tell you/post about their transition. That makes it about you and also ruins something that should make them happy.

3) Distance yourself.

Maybe he should have spoken more directly with you about his feelings, granted. But, Tom has not been shy about the fact that he struggles with his mental health. None of us handle every situation well. As far as his occasional venting, I would think, if you WERE his friend, you might have some compassion, and either cease contact if the friendship is not fulfilling, or accept his sincere, well-written apology (Which are the ONLY words straight from Tom’s mouth on the entire fucking post).

Instead, you got the apology from him, and then shared a bunch of gossip between you and another friend, and outed your interpretations of his vent sessions to the world. That's not exactly classy, posting about how he sought people he felt safe with during a time when a big chunk of the community he built is telling him to do horrible things to himself.

I want to make it clear that I don't agree with all of Tom’s views as expressed on his initial explanation post. Again, many of them are issues that I don't feel are my place to get involved in, and therefore I stayed quiet at the time.

I'm aware that the justified and intense hurt felt by people in those communities can mean that even differing opinions feel like a slap in the face. You have every right to see Tom’s views as hurtful and choose to leave, and/or make a separate community for support. I don't blame people who are in those communities for doing so. This post is aimed at the obsessed minority that won't leave the tag/remaining fans/Tom alone.

All of the above being said, the reaction to Tom’s post is the most “touch grass” thing I have ever seen.

Tom liking one or two comics from a dark-humor comic artist so widespread on the internet that I didn't even know he had an actual page, or anything about him as a person (something Tom also stated) = Tom is a Nazi sympathizer.

Tom saying “I don't care for neopronouns, but I won't attack you for using them and will respect what everyone wants to be called” = Tom is a monstrous bigot.

The racism accusation has me especially 💀. All because he liked a post about help from an unexpected source and that we should be kinder to each other.

How on earth are you going to tell a POC that he doesn't know what racism is because he’s NOT THE RIGHT KIND OF POC? Do you hear yourself?

(FWIW, I also don't agree with kink at pride. Sorry. LGBTQ+ people are not "narsty little freaks"--yeah I SAW that post--they're people. They can be kinky, they can be vanilla, whatever. Kink has nothing to do with your orientation, and therefore it isn't part of Pride. Also, my guys, if you're having public sex/being nude at pride for kink reasons, then you're not part of the healthy kink community: safe, sane, and CONSENSUAL. Nobody around you consented to that. Similarly, while I feel that sex education for minors should be normalized in order to give them better tools to tell when they're being groomed, seeing strangers with no pants on is NOT education, that's involving minors in your fetish. And that's fucking gross. )

The LGBTQ+ community in the US is in a lot of trouble right now, and we have a very bad habit of eating our own. We divide and subdivide and allow ourselves to be carved up by a united conservative front.

We do not allow for differing levels of leftist beliefs, and we constantly accuse each other of being not POC/leftists/queer enough, or being the wrong kind, or using a term for ourselves that some other individuals don't like. A great deal of the bullying leveled against him is justified by others saying that he's choosing to support a party that will turn on him and cause him and others like him harm.

Well, to be honest, the only community I see doing that right now is this one.

The amount of disingenuous “OMG, just FYI everyone to everyone hurt by [situation], I’M not transphobic/a bigot, you're all welcome here 😌” posts from people, who did not read his post, did not link to or quote his post. Disgusting. You know very well that nothing in his explanation or in his actions throughout his time in the community pointed to any abuse ON HIS PART towards trans people, non-binary people, people of the Jewish faith, or POC. You're virtue signaling, you're putting lambs blood above your door to keep the baying mob away.

This is insane. When did differing opinions turn into this? You don't have to agree with Tom’s views on anything. You're welcome to not follow his accounts, not like his art, not buy his game. If you feel that his opinions are too severely different from yours, you should be allowed to leave the fandom without people telling you that you should do bad things to yourself because your opinions don't match theirs (sound familiar?).

But…please. Can we stop with this awful parasocial obsession with his personal page? You can't lie to yourself and call it anything other than literal stalking. It's creepy as hell, and it reflects more on you than on him, in the long run. People might agree with your outrage, but deep down, they're afraid of being the next target, and they stay quiet out of fear that you'll stalk them next and send a mob hurling abuse their way.

To Tom, I'm sorry that this happened to you. You didn't deserve anything even close to this level of vitriol and abuse. You started from scratch and created a character and story that I feel was something truly unique. You reached an incredible number of people's hearts with Lurking for Love and Jacob, and no matter what happens from here with both of them, you deserve to feel proud of that. I hope that you are ok. Being a public figure on the internet doesn't mean you don't have a right to private opinions or even just general privacy.

I'm not tagging any characters in this. I'm only tagging the game because I hope other fans get to see that they're not alone. I don't believe the tags should be polluted this way. If you have to discuss a creator, it should be in his tag and not in a fandom space.

I'm aware that there will be deliberate bad-faith readings of this, or nitpicking of things I didn't cover. Whoever wants to, go ahead and respond, but I've said what I came to say, and I have nothing more to add. My inbox is closed and I love the block button.

#lurking for love #lfl game #carnivorekitty

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dojae-huh · 2 months

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huh nim.... Can u explain why u said jae is a bit of masochist? Nd ty too.... I don't understand... Can u please do that?

Firstly, I used the term in a joking way, I didn't follow the definition properly.

Both Taeyong and Jaehyun are ready to inflict pain on themselves, sometimes it's a way to feel worthy for them, or even loved.

Tae was given the burden of being the leader. And was told that he would be the demise of his own group. His older sister was always his protector, he is more comfortable in the role of a dongsaeng (like in Super M), he doesn't have good communication or social skills. The role of the leader is a heavy cross, but he bears it, he sacrifices for the group. Leaders can change in a group, yet Tae never asked to be freed.

We know that Tae didn't want SM to sort out the bullying accusations in later years. That's why it took 4 years. He was accused by one person "in defence" of another one, and Tae didn't want to involve the latter. He took the blame, he chose to be hurt instead of possibly inflicting more pain on the old classmate.

Tae forgives his antis. He is absorbing the hate, learns to live with it, instead of attacking back or hating.

Doyoung likes to "cat fight" with Taeyong (pinch him, twist his arms, take into a headlock), and Tae likes it, it is not "abuse", it is attention to him. He is ready to get the scratches. It applies to other "bruises" Do can inflict. Like turning the couple rings into a cover-up for JaeDo. Or "abandoning" Tae for Jae (bff vs bf).

Jaehyun is a master of endurance races. He can sleep for weeks for 4 hours and shuffle an NCT comeback and shooting of a drama, learn a dance routine in an hour. He can starve himself and go diligently to the gym to get hollowed out cheeks and abs. He can learn bowling after midnight to be able to bring a win for his team. When he was a trainee, they often practiced till 5 a.m. When TaeDo went back to dorms, Jaehyun went to his high school without sleep.

A lesser person would blame the world or Doyoung himself for not being accepted, but Jae kept his hurt to himself throught 2017. And tried to win over Do again attempt after attempt. I once compared him to a wolf who chases a large prey for days, wearing it down, heh.

Despite his jealousy, Jae chose a man who infatuates men and adopts children left and right, who is constantly paying attention to someone else, who is married to his job. Jae even has to accept Tae as someone Do won't abandon for him. Jae gets hurt, he gets irritable and puffy, openly demonstrates his discontent to make Do worry and shift attention to himself from others.

I said before that Jaehyun needs a challenge. Dealing with Do's pecularities, nagging and down days is OK with Jae, the man himself is worth it. A beautiful stallion is a restive animal, heh. The Taming of the Shrew.

Both Tae and Jae use a similar trick. They evoke Do's protective instinct. Puppy eyes, whiny voice, and Do is defeated, haha.

Another trick is to agree with Doyoung on everything when it comes to small decisions. Just give him a list of your own wishes beforehand, he will incorporate them in his plan. It's kind of amuzing to see how Johnny had to learn this "I do everything Doyoung tells me" to get on Do's good side (when in reality he is not a follower at all).

#ask me away #taeyong is the rose #he likes the night view #the second boyfriend #i'll be your morning star

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theroadtofairyland · 1 year

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Before anyone judges my tone or behavior, I'd appreciate it if you'd take into consideration that in the last two weeks I've made one sale. It was just enough to keep the internet on. I'm way behind and I've suddenly realized why it's been so hard. I have had to spend two hours of every day reporting spam messages where people thank someone for the opportunity to spread things I, better than anyone know the lies in. I've seen two particularly vicious users create an indefensible mythology me. They started telling people I was a scammer they made this wild blog that immediately got taken down but they then sent as proof to confirm their own lies.

And they've done it again and again. They've skewed everything I ever say...I say the show I'm proposing is at a venue that books two years ahead so I may not have a show until 2025, which become, "she wants you to give her enough money to pay all her bills until 2025" spammed into inboxes.

I asked what is the scam? The scam is that I sell art. Every time I explain why I've drastically reduced prices based on financial hardship it's maligned as e-begging.

I realized as I dug into what the people I had blocked in the last decade had been saying in the margins. It turns out someone is big mad that I called them an anti-Semitic bigot when then said "Israel deserves to be blown off the fucking map" in 2016 and had such a fragile ego they can't let it go still and are determined to make me pay by whatever means necessary in 2023.

I hope you will consider how it would make you feel to read thousands of responses to spam that's sole purpose was to force your community to ostracize you. Imagine how it would feel if people who had thanked you for your sensitivity about deadnames on payment info and how it related to shipping swallowing what to me seems like their personal interaction should have caused them to be absurd.

The only reason I still have a place is that they want to tear down this 1905 Victorian and don't want to enter into a new lease, which a new law demands. I'm looking at being three months behind in rent, I'm so scared about utilities being shut off and I'm hindered by lack of materials. I'm not blaming loss of income on a stalker's harassment because I have no other excuse. I read people who had been regular customers for years promise never to purchase again to my stalker. People who had talked about their plans to buy a work or a deposit stated outright they canceled their plans. I'm hurt, a feeling so wronged, attacked, and really scared.

As all of this shitstorm created for the purpose of alienating my fans, I have this paradox that I see that no one else seems to, there is a person who has copypasted a message into 1000 inboxes of blogs combed from notes on my paintings "Kate doesn't have a stalker and she isn't being harassed." Think about how frustrating that is, to have spam sent to a 1000 people to tell them you're lying about being targeted for harassment.

#art #artists on tumblr #artist harassment #havekat #spam #harassment

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swifterthancivility · 11 months

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You're Losing Me is soooo devastating in the context of Midnights as an album and I don't know if everyone is seeing what I'm seeing. It honestly shook me to my core.

Here's my analysis of the album as it is. We start with Lavender Haze which is this dreamy romantic song but you see some problems "you don't ever say too much" and the bridge "get it off your chest, get it off my desk" going unaddressed. The speaker is so lost in the love that she's letting their potential problems go unaddressed.

Then Maroon is reminiscing about a former love that ended. The speaker remembers the good and the bad but also the fundamental problems "carnations you had thought were roses, that's us" so a relationship they thought was real and special but was actually cheap and easy to get.

Then we get to Anti-hero where the speaker is blaming themselves for the problems they have in their life. Perhaps unwilling to step out of the Lavender Haze and look at their current relationship critically and blaming themselves for the maroon relationship ending.

Snow on the beach is another moment of the speaker reminiscing perhaps or maybe just a sweet moment in the relationship that reaffirms how the speaker feels. That moment of realizing you are in love and marvelling at it can still happen when other things have gone wrong.

You're on your own kid has the speaker remembering everything she has struggled with and regaining some self-worth after the insecurity of Anti-hero. It's a little resigned a little sad but ultimately accepting that though she hurt people, she has also built something "cause there were pages turned with bridges burned everything you lose is a step you take." Actually indicates a start to accepting that the speaker might lose her relationship. It's echoed in "yeah you can face this, you're on you're own kid, you always have been." This Really speaks to the kind of grim acceptance that the speaker is about to lose something very important to her.

We get to midnight rain and it seems like the speaker is ready to end the relationship. She seems to accept solitude as a price for their career. She attributes her inability to connect to the reason things are ending. I think this could also be interpreted as the speaker again reminiscing about and ended relationship and this time putting the blame totally on herself.

We get to question and the speaker is again reviewing a past relationship that went wrong. This time, however she doesn't have any answers. She reviews all the good things, but also this disconnection, this inability to listen or communicate. The speaker and the former partner have moved on but she's still wondering about it. I also see this being interpreted as the speaker questioning someone who just ended a relationship and trying to figure out if she should end her own.

Vigilante Shit maybe encourages that interpretation because it centers a relationship the speaker helped end. She's thinking about the ways in which she has power.

When we get bejeweled the speaker is taking joy in the idea of ending the relationship. She's ready to enjoy the attention and independence of being single. "I'll miss you, but I miss sparkling" kind of connects to the idea that she gave things up to be in the relationship that she could return to if she left. She begins to connect to what she wants outside of her partner.

Labyrinth is where things finally shift. She is ready to leave. But somehow, she falls in love again. She'd convinced herself that the relationship was over but then finds something to come back to. However, she is still attributing the problems only to herself. This song isn't about a couple working through things, it's about the speaker's feelings shifting.

When she gets to Karma she is ready to face the world and this time she's taking joy in her relationship. She's looking at the people who wronged her and celebrating her relationship as the reward for her goodness and kindness.

Sweet Nothing is another celebration of the relationship, especially the small moments that makes her love her partner. Again, the issues have not been addressed but she realizes (maybe in contrast to others) that her partner genuinely cares for her and that the connection they have is real.

Finally we get to mastermind where the speaker admits to what she considers a huge flaw. She wonders if this will ruin her partner's image of her but instead is accepted completely. After attributing all the relationship's problems to her personal flaws she is able to be accepted and loved for those flaws.

The 3AM tracks fit into this framework as well, but not in the linear way the album does. The great war, for example would fit in somewhere around Bejeweled and Labyrinth but I think musically would be such a shift that she probably didn't want to place it there. Bigger than the whole sky and Would've Could've Should've are not necessarily about the relationship but give insight into why the speaker struggles so much with her mental health. Paris fits in with Snow on the Beach, focusing on the good times in the speaker's relationship and what went right. High infidelity is another moment of reminiscing on an ended relationship and what went wrong. Glitch I think fits around mastermind. She's questioning the happiest she has in the relationship, wondering if she really had any control at all. Dear Reader I think fits around Anti-hero or you're on your own kid. It's about mistakes and the lessons She's tried to learn but ultimately concludes that she's learned very little and her "advice" cannot help her. The other track associated with the album: hits different fits again with snow on the beach. It's reminiscing about the beginning of the relationship which was tumultuous and maybe a bit messy.

Finally, back to "you're losing me." This song completely changes the album for me because it's the only song that doesn't blame the speaker for the relationship problems. It's a candid look at the state of things, and it puts a lot of blame on the speaker's partner for not taking accountability for their inaction. Finally, the issues are addressed, and they're not only too significant to face. They aren't all things the speaker can fix herself. Without this song, the album is about a healthy relationship with a partner whose mental health and personal insecurity makes her consider leaving. With this song, it is about someone struggling in an unhealthy relationship where the speaker blames herself for everything that's going wrong. It's so devastating because it takes even the nice moments and makes you wonder what is real.

#taylor swift #midnights #you're losing me

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aroacemisha · 1 year

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You know that pan lesbians doesn't exist right? The name of the label itself already is contradictory

(no hate i am just informing you that)

*sigh*

"Lesbian" is an umbrella term. A lot of so-called "political lesbians" who pushed for it to become exclusive weren't even lesbians, by the way, they were cishet women. The damage lesbian separatism has done to sapphic communities still lingers to this day, as described by sapphics who feel unwelcome in a lot of online sapphic spaces (other replies to that post)

There are several other reasons one might label themself as an mspec lesbian. For more information about mspec lesbians, here's a helpful carrd*. Here is also a long list of historical sources mentioning mspec lesbians and gays.

Labels are approximations, not rigid boxes to sort ourselves into. If a person feels that a "contradictory" label is the best fit for their experience, they should be allowed to use it in peace. Any hypothetical "harms" such labels will supposedly cause are complete nonsense and would literally not be the fault of the people using those labels (this is addressed in the carrd linked above, under "FAQ and Common Arguments")

Label discourse is a waste of time and a way to distract from real issues, or to blame other queer people for our struggles and redirect queer people's anger towards a group within their own community instead of the people actually harming them. An anti-queer bigot isn't going to ask your label when banning you from public spaces, prohibiting discussions of queerness in classrooms, or assaulting you in the street. A bigot will also hate you regardless of whether all queer people fit into neat little boxes or not.

The only labels that should be gatekept are culturally specific labels or neurodivergence-specific labels. Everything else is a waste of time and an excuse to be an asshole to people whose identities don't immediately make sense to you.

Please grow out of label discourse before you hurt someone.

Also:

(link)

*[Edit from June 28, 2023: I'm linking the Wayback Machine now because for some reason the original link goes to something else now. I don't know what happened to the original carrd, whether it was deleted or just changed the URL, either way I couldn't find it]

#asks

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xxthefairywitchxx · 2 years

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"It's ~inappropriate~ to blame antis for the A03 attacks because it's serious and bluhbluhbluh you don't even know whos doing it meeeh!" Shut the fuck up and go suck more anti dicks(metaphorically) while you're at it. Antis are the most likely ones behind it, so yeah, they're getting the blame. This isn't the first time they've done this shit. It won't be the last. Shut the fuck uuuuuup! Just say how you really feel, that you don't give a shit about csem when it's antis who are spreading it around. That you don't give a shit about the people being attacked, you never have, and you never will. Stop pretending to give a shit about anyone but yourself and say what you really mean. "Stop talking about things that make me personally uncomfortable! Stop talking about people getting hurt by communities I helped foster by not calling out the rampant abuse and harassment! Stop talking about how I might be responsible for people being hurt! I don't care about anyone else but me and I don't wanna hear about it!" Just say what you fucking mean already, we all know you don't care about csa victims, kids, abuse survivors, anyone but your own damn self. Just fucking say it with your whole chest and own it already you fucking cunts, stop pretending you care about anything but yourself, we all know you don't.

#cw csem mention #a03 #vile bile #proship #antis dni #I don't care about your arguments #I don't give a shit what you have to say #you will be blocked

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kokokerome · 4 months

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previous anon who was talking about the stuff with toyhouse, i didnt mean harm, i just felt like all the blame was put on those who don't have control of others actions. personally I like both you and miorjahs art, this drama has made it hard for me to follow either of you though because i dont want to be blacklisted. i dont think miorjahs completely innocent, i think they should've probably dmed you first, though i will say i cant disagree that some designs after you were first called out looked similar. again, i dont think you deserved harassment, no one does, not miorjah, not you, no one. especially not harassment about peoples races, or shipping, or whatever.

personally honestly im scared to put my own princefur ocs out there not only because i feel outcasted as someone whos ocs are mainly gnc trans men, but also because the drama that goes on is insane, i do wish you the best of luck moving forward, i hope both you and miorjah can move on and work on whatever you both want.

also- out of curiousity for possibly following/buying from you later on, what is your stance on pro-shipping and/or dark fantasy?

I didn’t think you did dw. And while idk about miorjahs blacklist cause they black list ppl who buy art from me, I wouldn’t blacklist someone for supporting miorjah. Most my blacklist are people that have contributed to the hate mob against me.

I say go for it. This community sucks, and most my ocs being feminine boys was something people made fun of me for, or criticized me for. Other ppl do it, I’ve also done some feminine/gnc ftm custom designs and nobody seems to really have an issue. What I’m saying is ppl have started to let more ppl in other than the same pretty white female furry designs.

as for proshipping I’m mostly against it. I’m not an anti per say since I believe in the general concept of proshipping. Like I think you should be able to ship whatever you want as long as it’s not illegal or hurtful. Like people that ship William Afton with his kids? Absolutely not. I feel like if you really believed that stuff was wrong irl you shouldn’t be so easy to drop your morals for a ship. Now ppl that write stories of incest and pedophile in a non romance/fetishy way are fine, and is actually a better coping mechanism then romanticizing what either happened to you or others.

Sorry for the ramble. I’ve just never been asked that question personally

#kokokerome #ask

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rhaenyras · 8 months

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I’m a cisgender bisexual woman and sex worker, and I’ve been dating a wonderful man for the past eight months. Everything is perfect: He’s smart, handsome, cares for me and we have an amazing time together. He even cut ties off with his parents when they insulted me because I am a sex worker. Everything feels right. Except that he berates me for my job.

I began doing sex work three years ago to help pay for university. I’m estranged from my family, and I’ve never had any financial help, everything I want and need I provide for myself. I used to bust my ass working multiple jobs at once to pay for school, food, and rent, but sex work has allowed me to increase my income while also exploring my sexuality.

My boyfriend has known that I do sex work since our first date, and he said he was okay with it then. But lately, he’s been making some really shitty comments. It started subtly: “Do you actually enjoy doing sex work?”, “You will catch many STI”, and “Don’t you worry about how it’s going to affect your future?” to “I don’t get why you have to do this,” and “Your body shouldn’t be for other people, it should be for me.” Recently, he confessed it makes him “sick” to think about me with other people. When I tell him that these comments hurt me, he responds by saying that my work hurts him because he felt “humiliated.”

I’m hurt and confused by all this. He’s making me feel ashamed when I actually love what I do. I don’t want to quit sex work, but I don’t want to lose him either. Do I have to leave my boyfriend or my job? What should I do? Many of my sisters, brothers, friends and mentors have been sex workers. Almost everything of value that I know I have learned from sex workers. And I have lost many dear people to whorephobia and anti-sex worker hatred and violence.

hmm i wish i had a clear coincise answer for you but the truth is you have to ultimately decide for yourself and choose what you would miss the most in the aftermath of your choice. if your partner offered to provide for you so that you never have to work in that field again, and you also get to be with him, would you be happy? would you retire with a light heart? would your relationship with him go back to normal so easily and immediately? are you even sure that you quitting sex work would make things alright again between you two? if sex work is just a means of sustenance for you then you could try bringing up this scenario when you're talking to him but the thing is i don't think you see sex work as being just a source of income in your life. it seems like sw is so much more than that to you. it sounds like you were able to find a sense of community and bodily autonomy through sex work. so i dont think you could just shrug it off, move on and leave it behind you, even if you somehow found the way to pay rent and live comfortably without it.

and i also think that jealousy is human when love is involved. your man probably didn't think much of it when you first told him on your first date because he didn't feel too strongly about you back then, but then he caught feelings and so of course his views about what you do started to also change. i dont blame him, i just think he was naive not to predict that this would happen sooner or later. he definitely overestimated his own open-mindedness.

are you certain that he won't hold sex work against you for the rest of your life, even if you end up quitting for his sake? won't he always be lowkey bitter and passive aggressive that you slept with other people for a prolonged chunk of your relationship? only you can know the answers to these questions. and if you don't, then you should definitely bring them to his attention.

personally i wouldn't tell a woman to quit her education or career over a man, so I don't see why it should be any different with you just because your career happens to be sex work.

but you are the only person who ultimately knows just how much you'd miss this man if he broke up with you over this. because that's a very real possibility at this point. i truly don't envy you or the dilemma you're tackling right now and I'm aware I've raised more questions than I've answered, but i deeply hope you can sort it out and emerge from this dilemma holding what you cherish the most, whether it be the man or your career 💖

#you guys have such complex lives #i could never keep my sanity. I'd just snap and pull a gone girl #thankfully im just a 27yo married old woman #ask #anon #anonymous

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malapkv · 8 months

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Being a Brahmin..

I think this is an appropriate moment to reflect on the politics around anti-Brahminism in Tamil Nadu.

Usually women are asked the question "How many women can confidently say that they were not inappropriately touched somewhere in a crowded place or by someone known in a private place at some point in time in their life? “All women will vouch for this happening to them at some point or the other.

Similarly, I ask a question, how many Brahmins in Tamilnadu can safely say they have never been subject to shaming, ridicule, extreme criticism for no fault of theirs? I was born to Brahmin parents- that automatically makes me someone who should feel ashamed of her birth? Well throughout my life, everyone around me in Tamilnadu have made me feel that way. Either they would openly insult or very indirectly say "Hey thappa nenakadheenga but we always keep a distance from Brahmins...Neenga apdi illa, but we dont like your community"....how many Brahmins reading this can say this has never happened to them in some form or the other at some point in time in their lives?

Well, let me tell you an insider's story. What actually goes on in a "detestable Brahmin" household. We are brought up with firm principles which state that all beings, not just humans, but all beings are equal and sacred. We are constantly told that harming any being directly or indirectly would cause Karma that could affect us for generations. We are constantly fed with principles of "Ahimsa" and the belief that people will ultimately face their own Karma. Which is why you see that this whole community doesn't fight back or resort to blood wars despite all the atrocities committed against them for decades.

In my household, for that matter in any of my relatives or friends' places I have never heard any talks which go "We are the upper caste, we should act superior" NEVER. Whereas I know that some other "so called upper castes" in Tamilnadu have the habit of directly asking "Enna jaadhi nee" as soon as they meet somoene new or talking about the so called "lower castes" as inferior to them. I can't even think of differentiating between any living being, for all my Brahminical upbringing. But most people around me who are not Brahmin s thrive on this superiority complex-Please don't even think of denying this-you know it for yourself who I am speaking about.

Have this clear-Casteism is NOT propagated by the Brahmins in today's world, we just bear the brunt for others 'sins. Since we do not resort to blood wars.

I was once pulled up by my school principal because my teacher reported to her saying "This girl has only Brahmin friends -she doesn't talk to others". Factcheck 1- None of my friends were Brahmins this teacher assumed it. And Factcheck 2-She was the mother of one of my classmates who didn't like me at that point in time, so voila, slam caste on someone who you can't blame otherwise! And the Brahmin wont retort because if/she does you can spew some more hatred on them. Afterall your state's politics is full of it!

My cousins grew up in the North so the surname Iyer was a natural one for them to keep. I thought I should borrow it for social media since it is short-only 4 letters and I am an Iyer by the way so why not? The kind of ridicule I was subject to by total strangers just for having this surname is unimaginable. People whom I had never met or known in my life waged a verbal attack on me insisting I don't use "casteist" surnames . I was so fed up I decided to change it..

When I think of it now, it was not a good decision...

I did not use a certain surname to hurt sentiments so why should I be harassed? If a certain name causes you hurt its your own making isn't it? You don't even know me !

I loved what a celebrity said recently..She said "I do not want to carry my religion or caste as an identity, because I do not consider it to be my identity....but if you decide to harass me for being born in a certain religion or community, then I would proudly display it like a badge."

My father was an atheist ....Never seen him step into a temple or perform a single ritual at home. My husband is neither an atheist nor a staunch believer. He is tad indifferent to religiosity.

However, the fact that I was born a Brahmin and will remain one until I die doesn't change... Because I looked at no being as superior or inferior to me and I did not cause anyone harm....so I will not be ashamed of my identity how much ever shaming I am subject to...

I reside in another state now and I do not see the venom that exists in Tamilnadu towards the Brahmin community here. Which reiterates that everything around us is a sheer political game.

Time to bring the Iyer back into the name I am guessing...

#Brahmin tamilnadubrahmin

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macarensesangles · 1 year

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augh <3

bitching about this here bc i feel way more comfortable doing that than on main where i have a ton of followers i dont know but like

i hate shipping discourse so fucking muuuuch lol. i usually try to just ignore it but occasionally i stumble upon it anyway and i end up so fucking frustrated with how uncharitable people tend to be.

there's been this article going around recently on twitter that was meant to explain the "anti vs proship" debate to people in JP fandom, but it was (imo anyway) like EXTREMELY heavily biased and felt pretty cruel and dismissive bc of that.

i get that there are people on both sides of the discourse that are utterly horrible fucking maniacs and that there are also people who ascribe to one label or the other and end up not really having a lot of difference in opinion, like "i think it's wrong to write simulated CSEM/abuse/etc but i also don't think that means topics like abuse should never be written about, and i don't condone harassing people even if what they do is wrong" is something i've been like. shocked to find is the exact stance of people i've met who i found out aligned with pr*ship and who were equally shocked to find that most of my experience with people who consider themselves pr*ship is like "you are literally a massive fascist puritan if you have any qualms with people making underage/incest/etc type content." like, i was really scared bc of Labels that these people i'd known for a while were actually dangerous to me and would advocate things that hurt me, and it turned out we had basically the exact same opinion.

and like i guess i can't blame people for thinking "oh those guys are clearly the nutballs here bc i didn't do anything wrong and got harassed/saw them saying something insanely cruel" on EITHER side. like, i certainly do not give anyone who bitches about "puritan antis" or who considers themselves pr*ship the benefit of the doubt, bc in my experience most of those people have gone on to say and do extremely offensive hurtful stuff, and people who hang out in those communities are not people who i feel at all safe around or who i generally consider great people. it's just really frustrating to have my own concerns painted as like "anyone who doesn't feel comfortable with pr*ship people is just making their feelings other people's problems and being thought police, and all they ever do is harass people, you should avoid them for your safety!" bc like. i just leave people alone! i avoid them if i dislike them!!

and especially bc like. i don't even consider myself an "anti." i feel like i'm just a reasonable person, and that's a label that's only ever been maliciously put ON me by people who object harshly to my having any sort of standards for how i think other people should act. i don't like that i want a VERY SPECIFIC sort of person to leave me alone (people who are OK with romanticized and sexualized portrayals of incest, csa, and abuse), and since most people who advocate for those things use a specific label, i ask that nobody from that group interact with me. so naturally the latest Big Fandom Thing is all about how people who make that request are like....unreasonable and will attack other people and shit? i literally do not have the time in my day to do that shit. i just don't want to have flashbacks or feel like people believe what happened to me is okay.

it's so fucking frustrating and exhausting and it wouldn't be a problem if we didn't live in a horrible fucking broken-ass culture that just CANNOT resist defending sexual abuse in fiction OR in reality. i'm not going to trust people who parrot rape myths in fiction even if they insist they don't believe them in reality. they're lying, or they wouldn't repeat them at all. i just, like, UGH. i wish it wasn't seen as radical to just ask people to be respectful of survivors but it is bc i feel like so many people just immediately jump to victim-blaming. people who lived through this are the lowest of the low to them and doing anything to us and saying anything about us is fine and if we object it's because we're oversensitive and need to shut up and take all the abuse we get heaped on us, because GOD FORBID anyone not get to have their fun valorizing sexual abuse at our expense! we're all acceptable collateral for their entertainment! it's just like. not fair.

#tag for complaining #incest ment #csa ment #rape ment #im getting really mad about stupid fandom shit again :)

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nitw · 2 years

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would you like an excuse to nitw post i for the life of me canNOT understand the PLOT OF THIS GAME

that's fair! nitw's core story is intentionally vague and non-direct so i don't blame people for not immediately getting it. i'll talk abt it as quickly as possible bc i just woke up lol

the 3 major themes of nitw i feel are dealing with mental illness as a young adult, existentialism, and how capitalism takes lives in different ways.

while mae's official diagnosis is never revealed, the way she describes her experience at college is easily identifiable if you've ever been through a long-term depressive episode in your adult years. the thing about depressive episodes and other forms of mental breakdowns is that they aren't always rational. in mae's case, while a lot of it seems to stem from peer pressure and rushing into something she wasn't prepared for, she's not really able to grasp what's wrong with her or why everything is going wrong until it's already too late. i always really liked the whole "shapes" allegory when she talks about dissociation; how the world just started blending together one day, from things that used to make sense and have a meaning and an identity attached to them, into random shapes and colors that didn't mean anything.

now, the existentialist and anti-capitalist elements in this game might be harder to see if you don't know youre looking for them, because this is where the whole supernatural/demonic cult thing comes in. it also doesn't help that nitw's full story can't be experienced in just 1 playthrough, since some of the context is locked behind events, hidden locations and specific dialogue choices. i'll try to summarize lt:

BASICALLY: in the game's lore, there's an all-powerful demonic being called "the black goat". it lives down at the far bottom of a hole in the ground, discovered by local miners many years before the game takes place. it's supposedly the cause of sinkholes, floods and other natural disasters around town, as well as the shitty state of the job market and people being forced to leave their homes. certain people (including mae) have "heard it singing" and have been inevitably gravitating towards it.

during an especially tough period for possum springs' working class, the town's old mining community formed a sort of cult around the black goat, after discovering that it LITERALLY feeds on human sacrifices. though the cult made it a rule to only sacrifice people who "wouldn't be missed" or "wouldn't contribute anything important to the town".

this is all a huge metaphor for late stage capitalism, as an endless cycling of people suffering and dying for the sake of maintaining "order" in society, and how you can't improve on these conditions without getting to and destroying the (literal, in the game's case) core of the problem. and that might be a task too big for any person.

near the end of the game, mae has this big monologue moment where she directly confronts the black goat, and in turn, confronts herself and her own issues. she basically goes "yeah, this whole situation sucks and maybe nothing we do will ever contribute to anything on the grand scheme. but that's why i need to hold onto even the smallest things that give my life meaning, even if they're sad, even if they hurt." it's one of my favorite scenes in the whole game, and really ties everything together in a neat little bow.

TLDR; at the end of everything, hold onto anything

#asks #blckvelvetopia #nitw #night in the woods

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isa-ghost · 3 years

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How do you hold onto hope that anything will be done with Anti or any of Sean's Egos? I fell out of love for JSE and his content about three years ago due to.. I guess just growing up? But I used to check back in from time to time because he used to promise that "Big Thing's" we're coming for his Egos. (Mind you this was before the pandemic took full effect so there wasn't that as an excuse.) I just recently checked his channel and saw he has taken a step back (Good for him and his mental health if he needs that!) from making content. Did he burn out? Is he ever going to do anything with the Ego's? I don't even know why I care at this point? I guess I just want logical answers and you are the smartest JSE fan I know? Anywho. Sorry for the rant. I'll get out of your asks. 🌶

Oookay unpacking this ask time.

Anon thanks in advance for sending this because as feisty as I felt at first, it helped me get out a lot of things I've wanted to say in this regard for a Long Long Time so, yeah. Thank you.

1. Personally I don't like the term "grew up" in reference to CCs or much of anything tbh, because you're rarely too old to enjoy the things you love. But I get what you mean regardless. Just wanted to plop out my take on that topic in general. Never think you're too old to enjoy something harmless though. :)

2. I've been shaky on hope lately, to be honest. He's not been doing a ton of videos in general lately, minus some strays and the Deltarune Chapter 2 series (I genuinely didnt expect him to play it bc he hadnt played another recently released big game I wanted to see him play but he did, and I'm super grateful bc it was killing me lowkey). Which obviously the decision not to make a ton of content at the moment is okay. He's very burnt out, he's been having severe health issues both physically and on/off mentally. The lack of content and low energy he's had lately is just disheartening if that's the right word idk. BUT!! We DO have a MASSIVE Thankmas stream coming in December to look forward to!

I miss him and some days I get kinda,, idk, bitter? About the radio silence. But unlike a lot of people that have been in and out of the JSE Community between 2018 to now, I respect his health and the fact that he's a whole ass human being and has a life and other things he is more than free to do instead whenever the fuck he wants. TLDR I think have better critical thinking skills than some people on here and Twitter lmao. And the last few years have been shit, both in the world and- at least on here -in the community (dare I mention the t*ablogs). Though lately the community is quiet and very very peaceful and enjoyable again. At least in my corner here.

The thing is, I'm not and was never here ONLY for egos. I love Sean and everything about him to bits. He made one of the worst few years I had in the 2010s infinitely more bearable and gave me an explosive amount of inspiration for creativity that I'd not really experienced before. And friends I'll never let go of.

I miss ego content. I want it to keep going. I'm extremely sad it might not continue. But as an artist, I know why he was promising big things once upon a time. When you're a creator and you have a story like this, you want to flesh it out. The motivation and muse is high. People are excited and you want to deliver. The difference with Sean is that he wanted it to be as high in quality as he could push for after all our excitement and incessant thirst for more. And his plans involved a budget and more than just himself and none of it was his main focus. It was a fun side project.

HOWEVER, big projects like this get interrupted by life, smaller projects, distractions and other things. Sean got SLAMMED by all of the above non-stop these last few years and then hit a bad burnout. I think that through it all, he hit that dreaded wall some artists with big, long term plans like the egos story hit and lost motivation. It got overhyped. Pressure got too crushing. Any plans he made to FINALLY continue the ego storyline got murdered by Covid more than once (which.. personally the term "excuse" sounds kinda shitty in reference to that imo but I digress). Making promises only to have outside variables beyond his control break them was killing him, so he just stopped promising. And people who have no respect or patience got annoying and some got straight up inexcusably vulgar, immature and hateful before dramatically fleeing the community in a tantrum like he'd personally come to their house and betrayed them. It was infuriating to watch go down.

But no matter how much it might hurt or be disappointing to see it die out, I'm here for Sean and his journey no matter where it takes him. I'm not sitting here being a stubborn beacon of anything. And I also recognize and (no matter how reluctantly) respect that we aren't OWED ego content. Never were. It was not an obligation no matter how many promises he made or how much hype he stirred up. And to be fair? We drove the hype a million miles further than he EVER did and we can't blame him for that. I hate the people who do. I'm grateful for the ego content we got and I'll cry if we ever get more. But if it's done, it's done and we just have to accept it. I, as sad as I am to, accept it. And we can always make our own.

And finally- thanks for the compliment. Idk if I'd say I'm the SMARTEST but that means a lot either way. :')

I hope this gave some answers even though it came out more of a vent/rant and PSA??

Obviously any JSE followers and mutuals please feel free to reblog this. But don't start any fights, not that I really expect there to be any?

#jacksepticeye #jse community #jse egos

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lurkin-dworkin · 2 years

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Do you like tearing people down and making them feel small just because they don't identify with the gender they were assigned to at birth? Do you not care about the pain you're causing others just because you only care about cisgendered women and think that anyone who is trans, nonbinary and genderqueer are part of some big cult because we don't listen to your feministic way of life? Do you think that trans men are trying to erase women? Because if you really don't care about who you're hurting, if you feel like trans, nonbinary and genderqueer people are in a cult and trying to erase women, that tells us more about you than it does us, and that all of this is a you problem.

We exist, we're just trying to be ourselves, and all you're doing is tearing us down, without even thinking about the pain you're causing. Do you realize that all it takes is a child to read the things you post, and them feeling like they're freaks because they're different from their peers, and then deciding to take their own life because they can't handle the pain and rejection that they feel will last forever. And then you will have set off a whole chain of events, all because you decided that tearing down the trans community is more important than thinking before you speak about things you know will hurt someone.

Older teens and young adults, we can see that while your words hurt us, that your words aren't factual, and that they're just empty words of someone who has no actual idea what they're saying. But preteens and younger teens, the ones who lie about their age so they can have an anonymous place where they can vent without their friends noticing, the young teens who are unable to reach out for help because they're terrified of how their parents will react to them coming out, the kids who don't have a control on their emotions because they're just kids who don't have anyone they can talk to, they won't see that the pain they'd feel reading your anti-trans posts won't last forever, and they could decide that life isn't worth living.

I sincerely hope that you realize the pain you're causing soon, because all it takes is you saying the wrong thing to a close friend, family member or a child you care about, and them choosing that ending their own life while in the closet is better than sticking around to know exactly what you think of them, and when that happens, there's no way you can reverse that damage... if you don't see the pain you're causing, or you just don't care, you will see the damage, you will see that pain, and you'll find out when the damage you cause is irreversible, and then you'll realize that you could have handled it better, and you were directly involved in someone's decision to take their life.

I really hope you don't have to learn it the hard way, but if you do, if you don't realize that your words do hurt, that it causes damage, you won't have anyone else to blame because you were told, because you KNOW that words have consequences. So please, I am literally begging you, please consider your words and try to stop the damage before it becomes permanent, because it will not only affect you, it will affect everyone you cause pain to, their families, your family, and so many others that would have to suffer because you couldn't just be kinder or just leave trans people alone.

nothing I've said frames any trans or nonbinary person as being a freak or whatever. you've quite literally made that up, so this whole scenario you've imagined is redundant. it's not my job to police myself for other people's sake. or for children lying about their age, that's their parent's job. I'm going to live life and spread what I believe in because I genuinely believe that your movement is actually harming people and killing people, and not the other way around. I can't kill a random other person by debating with you online.

my intention has never been to tear people down or make them feel small, it's just to challenge this gender movement and hopefully make people do some introspection and see another way of thinking and living, and hopefully realize there's other solutions to their problems. because again, I believe this gender movement is dangerous and creating irreversible damage.

you're talking a lot about the pain I'm causing people but literally this has just been an online conversation where I disagree with everything you say. I don't think that constitutes as me causing pain. if you're feeling pain about it, if you think you're gonna kill yourself because of my words, thats a bigger problem on your end, not mine. if you're gonna hurt yourself because someone said something you didn't like you need to seek professional help about that.

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eventidespirits · 3 years

Text

Name: Laci Lydia Brighton-Lee

Nicknames/Aliases: None.

True Age: 41

Apparent Age: 22

Emotional Age: 6-22 (average of about 13-17)

Concept: Age Sliding Oracle

Species: Vampire (Revenant)

Gender: Cis Girl

Sexuality: Asexual Heteroromantic

Birthday: January 8th 1976

Death Day: October 31st 1998

Residence: Santa Marta, California

Universe: Primarily Original Universe but also Vampire the Masquerade (where she is Clan Malkavian).

Appearance:

Height: 4'7

Build: Petite and quite thin, Laci looks almost frail to most people and can be easily mistaken for a teen or preteen. She has a short torso and long limbs for her height.

Face Shape: Laci has a rounded face with a pointed chin, full cheeks and high cheekbones.

Eye Color/Shape: bright amber/Hazel. Deep-set with heavy, almost droopy eyelids and very thick lashes. Laci usually has a sort of sleepy look to her eyes, accentuated by her permanent dark circles and under eye bags.

Hair Color/Style: About shoulder length with a natural 2B/2C curl pattern. Her hair is naturally black but she has a badly bleached portion in the front that looks bright orange. Has very short, somewhat uneven bangs and her hair is a little shorter in the front than the back. Usually worn up in pigtails or twin buns.

Skin Tone/Texture: Unnaturally smooth and pale with an under-saturated yellow undertone. Doesn't look particularly healthy.

Distinguishing Features: Laci is very short and this is usually the first thing people notice about her -- she also has very large, expressive eyes. She has both eyebrows pierced, a nostril piercing on her left side and snakebites. Both ears have triple lobe piercings and two helix piercings.

Posture: Depends on her current emotional age but as a general rule, Laci's posture is somewhat folded in on herself, somewhat shy and insecure. When she's at an older emotional age, her posture is more confident and open. Laci's body language is dreamy and distant, her steps usually slow and unsure. She walks through the world like she's in an endless dream.

Voice: Somewhat nasal but with a distinct huskiness/vocal fry -- her actual pitch is somewhat higher and definitely comes across as a little bit childish.

Clothing Style: Laci is very much a goth -- she's almost always wearing at least one piece of clothing with mesh or fishnet (she doesn't like lace as much) -- the primary colors in her wardrobe are black, charcoal gray and purple, with occasional hints of neon green. She prefers pants and shorts with tights over skirts and dresses. She tends to prefer lays -- wearing tank tops over mesh shirts under hooded sweat shirts and so on. She has a fondness for collars and very high platform boots. An average outfit for Laci would be a pair of shorts with striped tights and knee-high socks, 4 inch platform boots, a mesh shirt under a tank top and a short sleeved hoodie with several bracelets, fingerless gloves and a collar of some sort.

Notable Mannerisms: Laci is often chewing on her lower lip or playing with her piercings. She often curls her hair around her fingers or plays with the hem of her short. Despite being a vampire and getting no real benefit or harm from it, Laci still smokes clove cigarettes (a habit she had as a human). Laci also has a tendency to sort of bounce in place when she's bored.

Skills:

Physical: Self-Defense, gymnastics, pickpocketing, small firearms

Social: Social Media, Bullshitting, Sweet-talking, Blame-Shifting, Persuasion

Talents: breaking & entering, stealth, being cute, dancing

Knowledges: Santa Marta Underground, Streets & Back Alleys, Hacking, Computers, Social Media manipulation, explosives, Revenant Signs & Grafitti

Hobbies: Pickpocketing assholes at cafes/coffeeshops, preventing the apocalypse, clubbing, coloring books, dancing, photography/instagram

Special: The Sight, precognition, increased speed & strength, darkvision/nightsight, some minor telepathy/empathy, some emotional influence, "immortality"

Psyche

Strengths: Clever, quick-witted, good at lying, adaptive, quick-learner, strong sense of justice, compassionate, sweet, dedicated/tenacious, in touch with her emotions, good with kids, generally empathetic

Weaknesses: overly-emotional, immature, irresponsible, stubborn, impatient, overly curious, has trouble understanding rationality, has difficulty understanding the motives/perspectives of others even if she can understand their feelings, hot-headed, prone to fits of mania and/or depression, way too fucking blunt at times, bad at explaining herself, bad at understanding her own motives at times.

Mental Health Issues: Bipolar Disorder, Age Regression, Hallucinations, Anxiety, Possible ADHD?

Goals: Stop the God-Damned Apocalypse, have fun, make friends, help people

Guiding Philosophies: Do your best to preserve life but know that in the end you'll have to hurt people to stop the apocalypse, try your best to make people laugh and improve their lives, make the world a better place, punish evil whenever you see it, offer help to the helpless and compassion to the weak and downtrodden of society, bash the fash

Sense of Humor: Laci delights in pulling pranks on her friends or making absolutely random, inane comments that leave others confused. She also likes puns and dumb memes.

Overall Personality:Chaotic and trickster-ish. Laci is an enigma to most of the people around her, often including herself. She is bright and spontaneous most of the time but can become somber and serious at the drop of a hat. Her general mood and energy are frantic, high energy and unpredictable. When she comes to care about someone, she's incredibly protective of them to the extent that she can be and will do about anything to make them happy or keep them safe.

Deep down, Laci is frustrated with her inability to remember most of her human life and desperately wishes she could regain it -- however, most of her efforts are currently focused on preventing the Awakening of a being she knows only as The Myriad Eyes, which Laci believes will cause the end of the world if it does wake from it's slumber. Her methods of doing so are...erratic and often nonsensical due to her lack of general knowledge about the thing, seeing only glimpses of it through her precognition and sight.

Little Laci: Mostly the same as Big Laci (described above) but less able to focus on her goals, more dependent on others and more emotional.

-In Love: Laci can't remember being in love. She knows vaguely that she was dating someone who had broken up with her just before she became a vampire but more than that is blurry. When she does crush on someone (which is rare) she's usually very shy around them, having difficulty speaking and becoming very awkward (think moe anime girl)

-Under Stress: Erratic, irritable and far more emotional than usual. Laci becomes inconsolably upset when under stress very quickly -- prone to lashing out in anger and having complete breaks from reality of the stress is severe enough. Stress is also the number one trigger for Laci's age regression, the more intense the stress, the further back she slides.

-Alone: Laci doesn't really get to be alone due to being haunted by her best friend as a human who she accidentally killed after her Change...When it's just Laci and Amy, Laci can be very quiet and withdrawn, just focusing on whatever task is at hand and desperately hoping Amy doesn't decide to cause any problems.

Life

Best Memory: Becoming part of the Revenant Vampire Community under Santa Marta

Worst Memory: Waking up after being Changed and killing her best friend.

Biggest Accomplishment: Hitting 100 cellphones stolen from assholes at Eventide Coffee

Prized Possession: her spiderweb mug

Favorite Color: Black, Purple, Lime Green

Favorite Food:

-Mortal Food: Mocha Frappe, Triple Chocolate Muffins, Cherry Soda, Monster Energy, Tiramisu, Fried Oreos

-Blood: She doesn't care, all the bagged stuff tastes like shit anyway.

Favorite Scents: Cloves, Cotton Candy, Bubblegum, Gunpowder, Fresh Coffee, Freshly Baked Bread, Coconut, Vanilla, Lime, Grapefruit

Favorite Songs: Hunger - Ayria, The Girl Anachronism - Dresden Dolls, I'm So Sick - Flyleaf, Counting Bodies Like Sheep - A Perfect Circle, Looking Glass - The Birthday Massacre, Placebo Effect - Siouxsie and the Banshees, Amnesia - Mind.In.A.Box

Can’t Leave Home Without: Her phone, her cigarette case, a few packets of blood

History

Birthplace: Santa Marta, California

Childhood:: Laci can remember her fifth birthday where she had her first vision of the future and of the party being ended prematurely. She also remembers starting therapy at twelve.

Adolescence: Laci remembers her first day of middle school -- which went rather badly, remembers going to anti-prom and getting kicked out of her parents' house at 18.

Adulthood: What little Laci can remember of her adulthood, she was working as a barista at a local coffee shop while working with a group of friends on a local anarchist zine. She was dating one of the editors on the zine until he cheated on her and broke up with her on October 20th 1998. During a manic episode that followed, she cut her hair and bleached her bangs (with the intent of dyeing them purple). She and her best friend were kidnapped by a vampire outside a local goth club on Halloween.The vampire would turn Laci and leave Amy in the room with her to kill during her first feeding. The trauma of her change (which occurred fully within only three hours) and subsequently murdering her best friend seems to have induced age regression and severe amnesia in Laci. She cannot recall the name or appearance of her Sire or even the majority of her life, outside of small snippets from here and there.

Recent: Laci has been living in Santa Marta in the Revenant Community since they found her in 2002. It's not sure if she's actually part of the Revenant bloodline or not but they don't really care about that. She's got a small apartment in Bram Park, not far from the Sidetracks bar, which contains one of the main entrances to the Underground.

Relationships

Family: Sanity (Adopted Sister, a fellow vampire)

Lovers: None

Friends: Art ??? (a local hacker and vampire), Alex Hyde (Revenant Vampire, clubbing and goth buddy), Louis DeFantome (Siren Vampire, local goth artist), Maggie Rodriguez (Local Witch)

Enemies: Amy (Ghost, haunting), Ella DuChamps (Local cultist), The Myriad Eyes (???)

Acquaintances: ???

Resources

Income: Working Poor

Vehicles: None

Residences: A 1br/1ba apartment in the attic of a Victorian house that's been converted into a triplex in the Bram Park neighborhood.

#about: laci #laci #laci tag #muse profile #original lore rp #rp character #vampire #vtm

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