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phantom-of-the-ruckus · 1 year

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Hello puppets theories #2: Why I can't see the handeemen as related

1/?

Special thanks to my discord sister (whose actually my best friend) and co-creator of the theories: @dolly-royal for hearing me rambling about evil puppets and cults, helping so much finding out my points, and bringing up points I did not notice.

This will be a jungle of many reasons why I don't see the handemen as related. There is a change individual posts will be created furthering these points.

And who from now on will be part of my tag list for my theories and observations

(If you want to be part of the list or wish to part take in discussions feel free to DM!!)

special thanks to @dreamland-creations for hearing my rambles and seeing my constant screenshots (ily little meow meow/planotic/affectionate)

Before reading this, please read my previous lore for more dept:

(I am linking the one with the reblog because Andrew replied to that tweet I shared, and explain to me the connection but sorta confirmed that Owen and Mortimer are indeed Gods)

As a quick recap. I came out with the theory that Riley believed Mortimer was her "Father" at first as she tried to explain logically (avoiding the supernatural aspects) until she accepted that Owen created her and just sees Mortimer as a leader. She just refers o him as her "true father" out of respect.

I am adding here some things that I forgot to mention:

I am very well aware of the first Nick Nack tape, however I will say this: The tape is originally around in the early years of the take-over. I have a theory in-process regarding the timeline. So that means during that tape Riley was refusing Owen as her creator.

Going also back to the same point. Daisy canonically has said and it's implied she doesn't really care what the others do as long as they're nice to her. She hasn't shown any evidence based on the puppet interactions that she sees them as a family. So no, I don't think she sees Mortimer or Owen as her fathers.

Nick Nack is the only handeemen that doesn't address Mortimer as father or has shown to see him as such + Not to mention he doesn't treat the others as family or has any indications that he sees them as such as evidently with Riley and Daisy.

So, with those things out of the way. I'll start with a post I wanted to make for a long time and it's about my arguments of why I strongly disagree with the view the puppets are related.

Disclaimer: I am not calling out or criticizing those who believe it. Although this is my personal opinion, yours is just as valid as mine and you have every right to disagree with me. Until we have an actual response, we only have speculation

So, I'll divide this into several points that I am working alongside with Amber (Dolly-Royal) to address our POV.

Part 1: The talks about Gods: Owen is not actually viewed as a father.

This is mostly about the cannon fact that Owen is a puppet God. It is established several points in the game as well as in the tapes itself. This is a straight-up fact that was actually brought in the first hello puppets game when Scout and host find Owen's dead body turned into a puppet-like human and Scout saying the following:

"Shit! That's Owen, that's the guy that made us ...(proceeds to explain Owen creating them and how he regrets it now)... it is weird to met your god" (Scout, Hello Puppets!)

This probably seems like some sort of irrelevant, or simply a weird comment off made from the first game, but actually...this is shown and implied several times in the actual gameplay of the midnight show itself.

The first example that I can actually think it was implicitly implied that Owen was a sort of God to the puppets was during the second phase of Riley's level where Owen calls her "Atheist" after she denied that he created her and believed that the puppets evolved.

I can see people taking this as Owen commenting in the whole evolution reflects Atheist beliefs, but that wouldn't exactly fit within the conversation Owen and Riley were having. Owen could simply remark that he was her father instead of calling her an Atheist if it was actually the case that he was her father as in terms of family and not Father as "Father of creation", which she sorta implies during off the conversation in one of the tapes.

"We are just reflections of our creator. A river and a tributary." (Daisy Danger loyalty tapes #7)

This goes pretty much goes along with the whole "Owen is a puppet God" narrative in the Midnight show as a whole. I did mention before that as someone who grew up in a religious environment, I was not stranger to see people referring to God as "Father" (in terms of Father of creation)

So, I wouldn't be rare for the puppets to refer to Owen as their father of creation, while Riley wouldn't due to not believing in God (hence why she was a puppet Atheist) which does goes along with this phrase she says during our first encounter with her in the MS.

"The others may call you that; but as far as I am concerned, Mortimer is our father, and you are just a Lab Rat" (Riley Ruckus first level, Hello Puppets!: The midnight show)

I believe that Riley was making clear she wouldn't call Owen her father because he was not the one who breathe life into her as it was Mortimer who did so, and therefore should receive the title of "Father" according to her mindset.

I did briefly mention a theory of mine involving Riley perspective of Mortimer at the end of my first long post focused on the lore and talk more about the cult theory:

It would make sense for Riley to call Owen a simple nobody who is no use to her other than some testing subject. Why would she care about a God she doesn't believe in? After all, Owen is not a puppet but just a human, a cattle for them.

Anyways, outside Riley referring to Owen as "The creator" there are other instances in the tapes and the actual gameplay where Owen is implied or is referred to be a God. There are the mentions of religion of the game by Daisy, but I'll divulge into later. Strangely enough, Mortimer is the one who constantly has made a lot of religious comments and these implications, Riley appears to be the second one. Daisy and Nick don't really mention much.

Anyways, I'll start with the minor implications towards Owen being confirmed in the game to be a good.

"For the love of Owen!" (Mortimer, Nick loyalty tapes #1 I believe. Hello puppet Midnight show)

This one is the most straight forward. This is clearly a reference to the phrase "For the love of God!", except that God was replaced by Owen because Owen is the creator, and therefore the actual God figure of the puppets.

Second one is more of an implication

"You'd rat out Owen himself if it got you a pat on the head" (Mortimer, Daisy loyalty tapes #7, Hello Puppets: Midnight Show)

Although some might argue that they would say that Nick would rat out their "Father", I actually argue that Mortimer comment about Nick ratting out Owen is actually about Nick ratting God himself just to get the benefits

Which does go along with Mortimer calling Nick a "Judas" who according to the New Testament in the bible betrayed Jesus (who was also referred to as God himself) for some benefits, or what Mortimer implies "A pat on the head"

This is actually into Mortimer's character, but that would be part of another segment.

Anyways, the most important reference Mortimer directly makes into the game in this cut scene:

Based on the context, and implications of Owen being a creator of the game, it's pretty clear Mortimer is referring to his situation with Owen himself as it's a conversation they have during that cutscene.

I am still trying to figure out what did the creators themselves particularly meant during that cutscene, but my best take is that Mortimer is referring to his plans to force Owen into submitting to the puppets.

The puppets have dark plans to survive and according to Scout take over the world, but well that might be just an exaggeration or an actual plan, but nothing of the sort was explained in the game prequel. We know that Owen tried to stop the puppets multiple times, and they would not be able to thrive because Owen did intend to undo the spell and at the end of the game it is implied that he wants to destroy them.

I would also love to mention something else Mortimer mentions "Owen's presence haunting the Handeemen." I think this has to do with the poetic parallel Andrew Allen mentions in this tweet:

I do believe Andrew confirmed that Owen and Mortimer are considered Gods among the puppets themselves (which could explain why Riley refers as Owen was an impostor), but as the religion suggest, Mortimer would be always lesser than Owen himself, and even though he tries to give what the puppets need (A shaman, a guide) he would always be overshadowed by the greater God that created them all.

This actually reminds of the whole Satan and God complex in many religions. According to some beliefs (not mine) Satan wanted to be like a God, but he is always lesser to Jehovah/God/Jesus. Which ironically both are represented as the Evil (Satan) and Good (God) of the world.

Which would not be shocking if the creators got some inspiration by the major ruling religions of the world like Judaism, Christianity, and Islam (ironically, the later two taking inspirations from Judaism, and Islam from Christianity as well. Hence, why they are similar in some aspects)

Part 2: The Handeemen: It appears to be a cult

Heavy trigger warning for cult talks and cult characteristics.

For this section, I'll focus more into the character of Riley herself as she appears to have the most prominent behavior that I think might be hints it's not a "Family" but rather a cult

As my dear friend Stich pointed out in one of our conversations, we believe that the puppets are in, as she puts it, "A patriarchal cult" with Mortimer as their leader and the puppets as the twisted "Family" based on some strange behaviors the puppets exhibit throughout the game.

More notably:

"Mortimer should not be defied"

Throughout later in the tapes from the puppets and the game itself, you can see that Mortimer is being quite a respected individual and who the puppets will side with no matter what (more or less) it is clear that they follow him out of fear and also respect as he was the one who brought them to life and the one that they ought their loyalty towards him.

Still...they refused to go against Mortimer no matter what he does or what even Owen says.

I am well aware of the whole puppet rebellion but I actually have an interested take and I think I mentioned before in my headcannons, but I'll say it again:

Riley was visibly unsure when it came to "overthrow" Mortimer.

If you look closely at her conversation with Daisy in tape #12 (Riley's tapes) Riley has a peculiar way of sinking into the idea of betraying Mortimer:

"....That would be treason..."

If you listen to the tape closely, you can actually hear Riley is rather muttering with a slight hint of horror in her voice. Not to mention she takes a pause before saying more loudly

"If Mortimer knew..."

Wish is obviously referring to Mortimer getting upset about the idea but she's unable to bring herself to finish the sentence as she knows what Mortimer would do, which Daisy does explain that Mortimer would pretty much make Riley's life a living hell as Daisy suggest Riley should become the new leader.

Surprisingly, the first thing Riley says is a direct "No" as she starts to have a hard time explaining why she disagrees if you focus on the way her VA (Jannel Bierch) delivers this line.

"No. This...This is not a rational plan."

What I find interesting, besides Riley having issues with Mortimer's leadership over the puppets, Riley is quick to refuse the idea of throwing "A'coup", and it's actually Daisy that convinces her to carry on with the plan but rather tackles on one of Riley's ego to convince her to carry out the plan as if you noticed, Riley seems to be a character that adores admiration and to prove herself constantly as a character and be always right.

Still, even though she carries out with her plan, she still makes clear she doesn't want to do this and has no choice according to her last tape: Riley's loyalty tape #15

"Mortimer. Our true father. Our leader. It gives me no pleasure to say, that we have assembled here to dispose you today.....I will always revere the name Mortimer Handee; but your leadership has become unsteady, and it's time for someone else to lead the puppets to glory."

What I find curious is how Riley still remains respectful towards Mortimer even after she announces that she's trying to overthrow him. She even makes clear that this is something that could potentially pain her, but stills holds respect to Mortimer Handee as a character.

Why am I bringing this up? I'm bringing this up because I believe might have the mentality of a cultist in regard to her leader that are common within cults. I've been trying to reach articles in regard to the subject, but I would divulge more into the whole what makes them a cult than explaining the whole "family aspect", so decided to pull out some small characteristics of this small article.

More specifically, I want to bring these particular points out.

One of the biggest things that made me curious about why the Handeemen particularly remained loyal to Mortimer besides his treatment of them and how tired they are of him. I think this particular characters goes well with the whole

"Not defying Mortimer" and the portions I show of Riley's dialogue, that are proof that she's still loyal to Mortimer regardless of what he did to her. Before any of you tell me "Phantom, he manipulated Riley to stay with her with Rosco"

I do agree, but if you look closely at these subtitles and the way Riley thanks Mortimer then it does become clear Riley easily fell into her devotion with Mortimer:

This was one of the biggest hints that the Handeemen were a cult was the way Riley behaved around and some of the things she said. One of the other hints that she gives is in her personal dialogue in tapes and outside tapes:

Riley almost never talks about herself in a singular way when it comes to the handeemen. It is almost always the Handemeen as a whole. She does occasionally refer to herself, but when it comes to the Handemen it is always "We" as a whole.

Even she addresses when she complains about Mortimer, she briefly mentions "Yeah, he constantly gets upset over me because he forgets what he ordered me" but her biggest complaint is how "Mortimer is going to bring down the puppets"

Once again going with the whole "Us" mentality, and I think this portion of the article might be the reason why:

When you think more about this, that would make much sense into why Riley would be more concern about the Handeemen than for example let's say Owen or any of the hosts, and event Scout herself.

I have another reason why she acts the way with Owen and the other humans, but let's focus on Scout for a moment.

In the first game Riley mentions that she doesn't consider Scout "A Handeemen" in other words, she is not one of their kind. I've always wondered about why Riley despises Scouts so much and I think it is not exactly about her [Scout] being created to destroy the handeemen (which I highly doubt Riley is aware) but rather this:

Scout can arguably be considered as an outsider to the Handeemen group since she's not a handeemen (which furthers down my point)

I am mentioning this because I want to elaborate into a possible meaning of "Family" in the sense of the cult based on these two observations.

Outside like one or three mentions of the usage "Father" Mortimer is referred by his first same and is talked more about as a leader than a "Father." (there is no evidence proving he ordered not to be called a father)

What Riley considers her "family" just goes into the three Handemeen, however, she treats them more as colleagues/and a leader rather than a family + she referred to them as a family in just two "occasions" but gave no indication she sees them as such.

As I established before, Riley is nonetheless a loyal follower to Mortimer's cult. As from my previous point, I believe that Mortimer has more the association of a God than a father (another hint that is a cult) and I believe that everyone may probably have misinterpreted the whole "puppet Children"in the literal sense rather than creations considering Mortimer thinks of them more as subjects than a family (which I strongly believe he was using to guilt-trip the handeemen into submission)

(This is from Superhorrorbro tapes video. This is tape #15)

I think the whole "family" and "children of Mortimer" has a lot to do to what my good friend Stich herself said as she believes "The Handeemen are in a Patriarchal cult as a twisted "Family". "(implying she agrees they are not related)

Like I mentioned before, the usage of family can have a different connotation when it comes to religious subjects, and it is not strange for cults to use the terminology of "Family" to refer to the group inside the cult (which was confirmed by an ex-cultist.) E.I Charles' Manson's cult was referred to as a "family" even though the members were not related to each other at all.

This most likely tackles into one of the aspects cults tend to do with the followers as a form of abuse and control (taken from this Article this would be used a bit more into part 3)

I did mention before that I believe the puppets have needs of their own. According to Marlow's hierarchy, there is a need for love and belonging which correlates to something the cults prey upon to gather new followers, and I believe this is where the whole "family" thing becomes strong.

Family for the puppets is not about being an actual family. They are in a closeted group, an elite group (according to the previous "cult characteristics article" for a better explanation)

(I'll argue that instead of humanity, is referring to the well-being of their kind)

The usage of family to them is more about being part of something and belong. This can be a parallel to the religious aspects of cults. Although it's not prominent, the references to religion and Gods is no stranger in the game and is another aspect of the cult. This goes along with the "how to stuff article" mentions briefly in one of the things cults seek out for leaders that I mentioned later.

The best example of what I mean with the "family" usage of things would be from a work of Stephen King himself "Children of the Corn." For a quick summary, here's what google summarizes the movie to be:

I hardly doubt that all the children may be related (some might be) but I can see a parallel of them as just as the Handemmen being the loyal subjects who serve a higher figure and leader: Mortimer Handee.

This also goes along with Mortimer being referred almost always as the Handeemen leader, which even Riley does. Outside tape 1, Mortimer is simply referred by his name which I found strange.

He's always refer as Mortimer and "Sir" but not father. Like I said before, there is no indication that he demanded not to be referred as, but this might be because of the whole cult structure and calling Mortimer their leader and refer to his name is a sign from the puppets that they respect him.

Mortimer constantly refers to himself as a person of higher standing, which Andrew did confirm (think) that the puppets are in a sort of hierarchy where Mortimer comes first. He does imply it with this:

The game itself also treats Mortimer as the ultimate power of the puppets, which goes along with what I am saying.

There are also many points I want to bring about the cult theory, but that will divulge less into the subject of "Not being related" into this series of analytical posts, so that would be another thing for another set of posts.

I'll eventually released the other posts and make a master posts combining all of them into one place as Tumblr will not allow me to post pictures.

#hello puppets #tw: mentions of cults #tw: cults #tw: religion #tw: mentions of religion #Mortimer Handee #Riley Ruckus #Daisy Danger #Nick Nack #Owen Gubberson #Hello Puppets midnight show #analysis #tw: mentions of real cults #tw: Charles manson #theories analysis #I think I'm the official matpat of hello puppets/j #more posts to go #tw: mentions of abuse

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go-to-the-mirror · 1 year

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headinhands

im not ready for threshold guys! im not! im really not! ive just woken up! oh god, whyyy why must i? it's not fair, it's not fair that i have to do this god damnit.

I'm in shambles and we haven't even started yet.

it's fine. it is fine. alright. lets just. go for it.

hi @a-mag-a-day, threshold time! Mostly rambling, always great words, if I tag it with meta, that means it's GREAT words. You know the drill.

I think it's really cool that this is a continuation/related to a season 1 statement. It really shows how much Jon's changed throughout the years.

He’s just a lonely old man looking for attention and trying to manipulate me into moving back in with him, even though I’ve told him so many times that that’s just not going to happen.

I just feel bad for both of them, both Paul and Marcus. How Paul's actually experiencing this, but Marcus is so... distrustful, for a good reason, that he doesn't believe Paul. That if it just happened a little sooner together then they'd have been able to help each other, but instead all they were able to do was make things worse.

Parallels to Jon and Helen or am I reading too much into it?

And I don’t like being manipulated. I don’t like being lied to.

The Spiral and The Web are pretty similar, you know. What with the whole gaslighting thing of The Spiral, make you doubt yourself, but that's also like manipulation, you know? Can I just gesture to Helen and Jon's whole thing as The Spiral also being a bit of a manipulation fear, because like... yea.

When I was thirteen, it was underneath a railway bridge. It was huge and metal this time, with solid iron bolts sealing it shut and a thick chain stretched across it. The warning stickers had long since peeled off, and someone had scrawled in chalk: ‘Warning: Danger of death.’ As I passed, something heavy began to bang on the other side, sending the chain dancing. It pounded again and again, and I didn’t know if it was trying to force its way out, or politely knocking, hoping to be let in.

Aaaa! Spooky! This statement is, yeah, it's scary, and really cool. I just nhhnhrnnh 10/10! it's so snazzy! This episode as a whole, mate, it's just great.

I was trying so hard to walk carefully, to seem like I wasn’t drunk, that I almost didn’t notice it until it was too late.

My drama teacher says that to act drunk you need to act like you aren't drunk. Like, act like you're acting like you're not drunk. You get it? I've never needed to act like I'm drunk so... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

He just wants me to move back in with him, and I can’t. I just can’t. Sometimes, you just have to leave, even if what’s on the other side scares you.

A mic-drop ending again, yay! God, the way the statements end are always so cool, this is one of the most cool ones.

I never thought I’d miss those days, when I could throw out some half-baked speculation about drug abuse or mental illness and, woosh, away all the statements went.

I'm fine okay, it's fucking fine. It's so fine, I'm so fine, like so fucking fine, so much fineness in me. It's like! For Paul MacKensie, he can say that, he can say there's too much that doesn't add up, and that he wants to believe it but can't, he can fucking say that.

But he can't say that about this, he's mag 41 too deep. PODDED CAST!

AAA

But no, almost every one of those statements, those people … That poor old man. Like I can talk. Like I’m in any position to mourn the suffering of the innocent.

So, I was looking through old dms to find my reactions to threshold, and I found something, not on a first listen but here it is:

Last night I was thinking about Jon's line in threshold "Like I can talk. Like I'm in any position to mourn the suffering of the innocent," and literally crying. And thinking about how yk none of the avatars see themselves as undeserving of what they got, right, none of them. And I'm sad about that. It is not only the innocent that suffer. I have so many feelings about Mike Crew now you don't even know girls when girls when (gender neutral) they have a years long villain arc and at the end of it they can't recognize their former self This is about Jon and Mike Crew and Helen and Jude Perry and Hh

(messages to mapleejay (follow it) on the 28th December, 2022)

But there is one thing I know an awful lot better now than I did when I read his father’s statement. I know an awful lot more about doors.

FUCK DUDE YOU SURE DO!

I love him so much.

HELEN You rang? ARCHIVIST Marcus MacKenzie. Why didn’t you tell me? HELEN Is that name supposed to mean something to me? ARCHIVIST No, I suppose it wouldn’t, would it? Just an old man and his son for you to terrorise and feast on.

AAAAAAA JSWDAESDAFIJA THIS THIS ALRIGHT LIKE-

Okay, Jon's fucked up, he has fucked up, but he remembers their names, right? He remembers them. Jess Tirrell. Floyd Matharu. The others that we don't know the names of. Absolutely not proportional, Jon why the fuck did you do that, but like, hey, at least they're still people to him.

Also... "why didn't you tell me?" This implies they've been talking enough for Helen to have told him, which does make sense, actually. I have headcanons post-131. Well, post-132, when Jon's not throwing himself in a coffin, you know?

HELEN Ah, well, the son I was pursuing long before I was even Michael. And technically, I didn’t eat the old man. He passed away from terror before I even got a chance to open properly. ARCHIVIST And his son? Marcus? He was fine when I found his father’s statement two years ago, but now, suddenly, I can’t get through to him. HELEN No, I imagine not. I decided it was time to finish that game a few months ago. ARCHIVIST You… Why?

He sounds so bloody frantic, and just... oh my god just the way he's speaking, frantic and horrified, should he have known that this is what he'd get when he befriended monsters.

Aaaaa threshold <333

HELEN Not sure. I suppose Helen didn’t have quite the same attachment to him as a project. I’m not quite as much for decades-long campaigns of subtle terror these days. ARCHIVIST That’s horrible. HELEN Is it? We do what we need to do when it comes to feeding, don’t we? … Don’t we, Archivist? ARCHIVIST (Softly) Yes.

SCRATCHING AT THE WALLS HNNHHNRNHR

OH MY GODD I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAYYY IM JUST- AAAAAA SCREAMING CRYING SHAKING JON LIKE A CAT!

I had good words a while ago, again to @mapleejay

ME: To be fair the entire fandom's jon loosing their mind episodes are like the same (A Guest For Mr. Spider, Scrutiny, Can't even type scrutiny Uh the eye opens MAPLEEJAY: true ME: Feel like we as a society should be more obsessed with helen and jon MAPLEEJAY: relistening to the coming storm Again TRUEEE ME: And also whatever the hell eye contact was NO ONE TALKS ABOUT EITHER OF THEM AND HERE I AM ROTATING THEM IN MY BRAIN MAPLEEJAY: punching them beating them up /pos ME: Diversity loss! The distortion is a tory MAPLEEJAY: HAGAGDHQHD ME: But like also jokes aside oh my god them. Like hhhh - the new door where jon saw himself in helen and then helen IMMEDIATELY died - another twist where jon was about to die just like helen did and helen saved him (i actually never fucking saw- JUST LIKE HELEN DID [transcribers note: probably is drawing parallels between Jon almost dying to Michael, and Helen actually dying, and Helen being able to save Jon]) - taking stock where helen asks jon for help when SHE takes someone - threshold where JON goes to HELEN and HELEN (fuck why are they so similar) JON GOES TO HELEN BECAUSE SHE KILLED SOMEONE AND HELEN THROWS HIS VICTIMS BACK IN HIS FACE - a gravedigger's envy where theyRE BLOODY HHHHH WHY NO OK BECAUSE THE HELEN JON DAISY TRIO REFLECT OFF EACH OTHER AND I HATE THEM >:( - checking out WHICH IS IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE EPISODE WHERE MARTIN TALKS TO HIMSELF MIND AND IS LITERALLY THE MOST HONEST WE SEE HIM IN THE WHOLE SEASON LIKE NOT THAT HES LYING TO MARTIN BUT THAT HE'S NOT TRYING WITH HELEN *shaking them vigorously* fucking die

(10th January, 2023)

they. fuck them. god damnit, them <3

HELEN It would be better if you embraced it.

(MAG 146 - Threshold)

HELEN Oh Jon! This existence can be wonderful, if you just let it. ARCHIVIST (Sadly) I know.

(MAG 187 - Checking Out)

MARTIN Huh. She couldn’t help what she was, I guess. ARCHIVIST She didn’t even try.

(MAG 188 - Centre of Attention)

Jon and Helen ✨ feelings ✨

I have highlighted those specific lines together so much, like... they just fit. Throwing them at a wall.

ARCHIVIST Were you controlled? HELEN What a delightful thought. I don’t believe so, no, but the Spider’s strings are subtle, so I suppose it’s not impossible. Why? ARCHIVIST I want to know. Can The Web control another avatar, one that serves a different power? Make them do things they don’t want to. Make them find victims, feed. (Helen laughs.) HELEN Perhaps. Perhaps not. Would that make life easier for you? Are you so sure you didn’t want to? (Helen laughs again.)

[ID: CC!GoodTimesWithScar with his head in his hands. /End ID]

ARCHIVIST Been a while since you’ve all come to see me together. I assume it’s not good news.

It starts with him being all... sarcastic and stuff, and then he's like Oh Shit. Oh Fuck. Oh No.

ARCHIVIST And what exactly is on this t— Oh.

OH BOY! OH GOODIE!

oh boy...

BASIRA How many? ARCHIVIST Basira, I— BASIRA How many? ARCHIVIST Four. MELANIE Jesus. BASIRA Including the one on the boat? DAISY What one on the boat? ARCHIVIST Including Floyd, five. MELANIE Jesus.

Firstly, like great voice acting, all of them, all of them. Yeah... I'm not going to say the secondly :D

ARCHIVIST Jess Tirrell, the woman on the tape, she was the fourth. I’d just tried to… I was weak, ravenous. I didn’t feel… The first was a supermarket cleaner, ended up lost for a weak in an endless warehouse. I didn’t even… I just went in for some shopping and he was there and I just… asked. The second was… It was after I got stabbed by Melanie. MELANIE You are not putting this on me. ARCHIVIST No, that’s not what I meant. I was walking the streets; I thought I was trying to clear my head. DAISY But you were hunting. ARCHIVIST Apparently. And I found a woman who, every year on her birthday, wakes up in a fresh grave, just for her. DAISY And the third was after the coffin. ARCHIVIST A man rejected by all who knew him, searching ever darker places for love. When he told me his story, he started weeping maggots. BASIRA Enough. ARCHIVIST I hope so.

IM USUALLY PRETTY GOOD AT WORDING MY THOUGHTS OKAY JUST-

You know what, take a gander through annabelle--cane's tumblr, it has good words. I just sort of went through his tma tag for a while ajsjdjhfs.

BASIRA You’re a danger, Jon, a monster. You’re hurting innocent people. ARCHIVIST So did Daisy. BASIRA Shut up! It’s not the same thing at all!

Like, Basira what the fuck, she's just... she's all like oh wow daisy's better for resisting, meanwhile trying to get daisy to hunt again, enabling her when she did, making all these excuses for as to why daisy's actually better and what she did wasn't wrong and awful.

Yes, I get that that's the whole point of Daisy and Basira as characters.

BASIRA I’ll tell you all what I find. Don’t let him eat anyone’s brain while I’m gone. ARCHIVIST That’s not what I do.

HE SOUNDS LIKE HES SULKING, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

I don't have a conclusion. Shaking Jon and Helen I love them so much. I still need a jon and helen tag. Threshold (starts fucking crying)

#the magnus archives #tma #mag 146 #jonathan sims #helen distortion #jonathan sims + helen distortion #a mag a day #tma meta #so many thoughts #landscaping-your-mind-chapter-one

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yarmiko-art · 1 year

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Yara! Glad to see you've had a bit of a break from uni, it seems.

Would you care to share some HCs, since yours are so good? About anything, really, but I've got a bit of a preference for MetaSusie and Nightmare... So do whichever of those you want!

Aww, ty! Sadly, I'm not off the hook yet - just posting some silly things before disappearing again xd

But thank you!! A lot! I'm really glad my ramblings are to your liking

If we talking abt HC regarding Nightmare it's not that much:

Nightmare used to be a human back in a very old day. He probably remembers Earth before it became a Shiver Star. He remembers only some vague details, to be more precise

The way he became a great Nightmare Wizard™ in the first place is by making a wish upon Nova. Over the course of decades chunks of his memories and personality got erased by an inability of human brain to process the eldrich abilities correctly. The Monkey Paw hit him hard

Doesn't remember his own name in a both metaphorical and very literal way. Not that he misses or needs it, which makes the situation even more ironic

"Careful, Marx, that's might be your future" isn't even a joke at this point, bcuz Evil Clown is on highway there. As both of them were granted unspeakable abilities with a pretty similar wishes - parallels are there. The difference between Nightmare and Marx being the fact that Marx doesn't really wants to be next Evil Wizard™. Not because he regrets his actions, but because he wants to keep enjoying the life he is living - you start to appreciate simple things like tasty meals much more when you are about to loose them. Don't get me wrong tho: Marx is full of ambition like never before.

Despite this seemingly sad past with "forgetting his own name" Nightmare always was a bastard in terms of personality. Living on dying cold rock does that to ya sometimes. Most of those traits are still there, just too exaggerated. The Nightmare Wizard in general is pretty much a caricature of himself

And yet he is very knowledgeable man

Did I mention that he wanted his own champion, based on Galacta Knight? But there was a pretty grave miscalculation on Nightmare's part (Several, actually, his simple inability to raise said champion with a loyalty due to not taking the emotional attachments into account is one of them) - it's not like he has any access to remnant of a Void. But he had plenty of a Dark Matter around. What I'm saying is that MK by some percentage is a Dark Matter or DM related

Nightmare and Yin Yarn are actually know each other by some Wizard Network and get into petty arguments over smallest unimportant things

And regarding MetaSusie I have only this HC on the top of my tongue:

MK sometimes struggles with reoccurring nightmares so Susie tends to sing to him while he's asleep. It actually helps for some unknown reason. The Knight had no idea at first, but turns out he didn't hate her voice as much as he though

Susie herself doesn't really enjoys singing anymore - it brings her back at the HWC performance with a dad who doesn't recognise her. And yet singing to a shivering borb eases the pain

#Thanks for ask!#Ask 2 Tag #Not rly sure how to tag this one xd #Kirby #Nightmare Kirby #MetaSusie #YarTalk

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romegaketh · 2 years

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hello! i'm currently obsessed with "oh lord, it really brings me down" - the whole fic is constructed so nicely and i love the supernatural take on what adam page is going through, as well as the allocations of adam to buck. are there any moments that you wanted to write into it, but ultimately decided not to?

ah, anon, this is so kind! i love that fic very much and am v proud of it: i am thrilled it has managed to also mean something to you. under the cut i will ramble a bit but i also wanted to say i do not bite (unlike adam cole) and i am always thrilled to have people in my dms <3 u are totally welcome to pop in anytime u like <3

firstly cannot let a comment about the structure go without rhapsodising over the efforts of ao3 user eggshellseas who truly saved me!!! i was like "please help me" and she was like "ya, here u go" and then like. it all made sense. her mind!!!! incredible stuff. i am breathlessly, desperately, on tenterhooks (no pressure tho) waiting for her to write some kenny/adam page w gloating vampire adam cole, which is, to me, the platonic ideal of Good Soup.

ok, so. i think the strength of that fic is how strongly anchored it is in nick's point of view. it's a good pov and nick's repression carries a lot of the horror beats because his denial is a solid 1/3 to 1/2 of the creeping unpleasantness in there! like ya adam cole is a vampire eating people but also, what the fuck is up with nick? nothing good, (baybay). however, the exclusivity of nick's pov and his desire to Not See Anything Bad Ever means we really only see a construction of adam that nick is building for himself - until the very end, obviously, when that construction falls apart, and nick is reminded, unpleasantly, that adam is a real person and he has a Real Agenda, he's not just a space upon which nick can localize his ~desire and then avoid it.

the nature of kyle and bobby is a big one i left out, just because nick doesn't care about them! he's not interested! he's interested in if/when they are dangerous to adam/him, but otherwise, he's busy. but i did think about them (and talk about them!). they're not vampires and adam thinks they are in thrall to him because they drink his blood, but they came out on their own and they hang out with adam because they want to. though he probably does have some influence on them, and he wouldn't, like, be totally helpless or without recourse if kyle tried to turn on him. he's got leverage.

i would say the other big one is that nick never makes it explicit that he like, Sexually Desires Adam Cole. and how much adam knows that. (parallel to the depth to which matt desires Adam Page, and the ways in which they have partitioned off desire and allowed it to be separate in that way.) i love repression i think it's very interesting narratively and i think it is an interesting component of the way the bucks present themselves! in this fic the bucks are like pretty carefully tacitly policing each other and allowing like, certain kinds of affection to be made tactile and acceptable whereas other kinds are not. i feel like adam cole knows and thinks it's funny and adam page doesn't know or reads it as something that's a joke about him instead of like, matt sincerely being into him and refusing to accept that about himself.

eggshellseas would probably say how much kenny knows! i think kenny knows a bit more than he's letting on. i like the idea of the bucks thinking of themselves as grandmasters and being super super politicking and proactive, but sometimes they forget that other people are able to move in that way too - the same way they sometimes forget that they're separate people with separate agendas (and separate adams, lmao). kenny i don't think is quite as unaware of whatever it is adam is doing to him as they think: he's also, phantom thread style, comfortable with taking a little damage to make everyone else happy. (especially to let the bucks take care of him. they gotta!!! they love him!!!)

oh also adam is definitely doing a lot of murder. like, they caught him eating a guy one time and that guy was fine? no. he is doing flirt w closeted guys then eat them, and he is doing it En Masse. he's just not doing it at work anymore.

if there's anything in particular you are curious about please feel free to ask! mm, vampires.

#au: devil town #ask: anon

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i-maybe-exist · 1 year

Text

I posted 16,394 times in 2022

127 posts created (1%)

16,267 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@theoneandonlyyeti

@hiveswap

@wlttebane

@encrypted-cryptid

@tragicfaggots

I tagged 2,952 of my posts in 2022

#vi rambles - 79 posts

#haven smp - 56 posts

#ask - 41 posts

#answered - 41 posts

#oh my god - 36 posts

#dream smp spoilers - 33 posts

#yeah - 31 posts

#small streamer - 29 posts

#prev - 28 posts

#twitch - 24 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#whenever i talk about november 5th i always quote that one post that says like ‘it feels like pure 2012 tumblr was ejected into my veins’

My Top Posts in 2022:

“maybe in some parallel reality it was meant to be”

See the full post

11 notes - Posted May 19, 2022

twitch_live

building with the council!! :D - haven smp

16 notes - Posted June 13, 2022

How would someone start watching Haven SMP?

great question! :D

unlike some servers, a majority of the content for it is archived by the ccs! this page on the haven smp website shows a spreadsheet that links to every stream posted in chronological order. feel free to look around the website too, as it also has character descriptions and links to cc’s socials :D

most of the content is full-length vods as opposed to edited videos. a few people have edited down their vods tho, particularly knife_moth and asterlsks (aka @420technoblazeit )! (im also hoping to edit my vods soon, but editing hard 😔😔😔)

we also have a wiki set up, but it’s not completely done yet. it’s best for if you want to find out whats already happened without watching full-length streams, but not every character has information written (a lot of characters do-off the top of my head navn and soleils pages are pretty complete!)

also feel free to talk to any of the ccs! a lot of us are on tumblr (if you say anything to me about camber i will scream and yell /pos), and you’re free to pop into any stream that someone’s doing :D

17 notes - Posted November 13, 2022

i love how everyone is making discord servers and making pixelart plans for r/place while i’m here, making c!deepest sleep All By Myself,

21 notes - Posted April 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

hey mutuals!

im doing an art telephone! basically one person draws something, and then they show it to the next person for a short amount of time, and then the second person has to draw it from memory, and then it repeats

dm me if you’re interested and ill send you a discord invite :D

21 notes - Posted January 4, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #NAUR NOT THE ART TELEPHONE ONE....#i havent even. fucking started it :pensive:#also 1 PERCENT ORIGINAL POSTS #THATS SO FUNNY OH MY GOD-

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asteroiideae · 2 years

Note

Hi, I happened to catch your Sailor Moon ask meme in the tags and as someone who’s also a fan of poor obscure Saphir (90’s anime version only I’m hoping you were referring to) do you think you could ramble on about him like you did Fish-Eye in that ask pretty please? He had such little screentime but deserved so much more! 🥺

hello Nonny! I was absolutely referring to the 90s anime which is, in my opinion, the most superior iteration of Sailor Moon (though for transparency's sake I'm just now re-reading the manga for the first time in about fifteen years.)

I think maybe of all the antagonists we're introduced to in the 90s anime, Saphir gets like...the worst end of the proverbial stick? This poor dude gets exiled, and all he wants is to come home? Onscreen he doesn't even do anything that can really be construed as bad - like, he's complicit in that he tags along and doesn't try to stop Demande and the others from doing their nonsense until it's a little too late? But I have a really difficult time blaming him for that, you know? The implication is he's very much a person without much agency or power, after all.

tbh I would have loved to have seen a little more parallel between Saphir and Usagi, in that they both appear to be the kind of people who (successfully!) appeal to the better natures of the people they love, and try to use the power of that love to bring people around them back from the brink?

Then there's the whole thing with Petz. I think if anyone deserved to be cleansed and live out a normal life with the girl he loves, it's Saphir honestly - but, I think here the anime team were going more for him being the dark foil to Usagi. He tries to appeal to his brother's love for him to stop him from doing the thing (with marginal success, that ultimately fails.); he really loves someone who wants him to come back to them, and he tries to reassure her that he'll save the day and come home (he doesn't.)

my tl;dr on Saphir is that everyone sleeps on him, and there's so much content to mine despite him only really appearing in like 2-3 episodes; as much as I dislike Demande, I think Saphir is a fantastic character and now I want to go rewatch his brief arc because holy shit they hit you so hard with so little????

(I hope that was enough of a ramble for you, Nonny! I'm writing this pre-coffee, so I could probably come back and add more. Feel free to poke me off-anon if you want to chat more about Sailor Moon - my DMs are open! or if you want to chat more here on anon, I'm happy to do that too!)

#asks #sailor moon #Saphir #90s anime #honestly nonny thank you SO MUCH for giving me an excuse to do this today #I could talk about the 90s anime like it's my damn job

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dilutedbeanibeans · 3 months

Note

I used to have ideas for the Zero series. It would've sort of been like a Dark Comedy. It would have its sad moments as well. But kinda funny for the most part. Especially in dealing with Zero's personality and such! And that is neat! (^^) As always, take your time! (^o^) Yee. I guess it all depends!

That being said, is there anything else you wanted to ask me? Since you're still in the development phase? I can talk a million if you'd like. And no worries again, your rambling is nothing bad whatsoever. Especially if it makes you all giddy inside!

I have SO many thoughts about zero and x!!! and how they parallel each other and how they were both made n yadda yadda

I’m probably going to work on my sunstar and terra dynamic a little more (thinking abt doing a comic for them next) but yeah!!

we can always exchange over tumblr dms or discord or whatever you have !!! I’m always open to trading ideas :]

#asks

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poltergeist-coffee · 5 months

Note

I take my eyes off him for a moment

I TAKE MY EYES OF FOREVER FOR A MOMENT AND THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS TO HIM

YOU DON'T JUST NAME A STREAM "THE END 1/3", FOREVER, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

No, don't you hit Richas, filho da mãe, STOP SHOOTING YOU BASTARD

Forever likes to play with our hearts

Mah boi what are you doing?

He's NeverPlayer now?

"I don't care what's happens with this body, it's not mine anyway"

What do you mean?

HOST?

WHAT IS THAT THING ON HIM?

GET OFF MY CUBITO TU HIJO DE TU PUTA MADRE

WHAT LIST ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???????

DON'T SHOOT RICHAS, YOU KEEP THAT GUN AWAY FROM MY SON

His eyes glow:0

"imagine that I'm petting your head right now"

My man is full on villain arc

YAAAAAAAAAAAS

STOP SHOOTING MY EGG

HE TRIED TO HUG HIM NOOOO

My boy:(

Why is he so interested in Quackity?

Ah yes, dramatic music, we love those

Wait, is that the Judas thing????

"Não existe mais essa porra de democracia"(there is no such thing as this fucking democracy anymore. )

- Player, Forever 2023

Dictator arc????

And now he is destroying that... place where there was the voting sistem

Forever, you need to learn with Fit to explode things

"This looks way better"

I mean... you could've have destroyed what remained

"He might be weak, but he had a good idea"

"Looks like it's time for us to start opening this place and put each of them in their proper place"

Or something like that

And he ends the stream

Filho de quenga

But he really got into character with that makeup

This reminds me of the happy pills arc... say what you want about him, but he put a lot of effort, he kept that smile the whole stream, of his face didn't hurt after it I don't know anymore

But, you got a formula 1 au? 👁

Interesting... if you have something to say about it feel free to ramble I will love to hear about it or any au you have amything to say:D

AlsoI ended up making Pepito be the favorite egg of a friend of mine, he don't even watch qsmp, but he has to deal with me talking about it:D

Pepito my beloved

But I guess my other friend was right about not trusting Richarlyso with a drugged... look how my cubito is

I just opened the stream, got happy because I saw a lot of eggs, and then got confused:D

Back to my original form: eternally confused about anything

- 🍽

Watch as the local anon of your askbox has a mental breakdown over a square character and his sentient egg son

QFOREVEVER WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU DD: EVIL CUCURRUCHO YOU WILL FUCKING PAY FOR THIS!! THE FEDERATION FUCKING SENT FOREVER TO THE NETHER AND HE GOT CORRUTPED IF THEY NEVER FUCKING TOLD HIM TO GO THERE THIS NEVER WOULD HAVE HAPPENED WE NEED T GET RID OF THE FEDERATION RIGHT FUCKING NOW I SWEAR TO GOOOOD!!!!

ccforever is so dedicated to the roleplay its insane his acting is also insane. I LOVE THAT HE DRESSES UP THO AND PUTS ON MAKE UP TO MATCH HIS CUBIT ITS SOOO GOOD I LVOE IT!! I LOVE THAT HE UTALIZES FACECAM FOR STUFF LIKE THIS ITS SO :")) <3333333 so much lov to him hes so cool i hope he knows how cool he is.

that being said if he kills qforever canonically and can't come back i will be so very upset and be sending him a very strongly worded dm about how sad its going to make me /j...........

I HAD A SILLY THROY what if romero richas and evil cucurucho/the virus posessing forever are connected? mostly becausee they both made it and said they dont care about their host being hurt. romero richas was always bleeding and even painted with richas blood and richas was scared that he wakes up covered in new bruises and blood!! and now the visus/@v@ is saying that it doest care if forever is hurt because he's just a body? even if they're not related i think its an interesting thing!! they both parallel? like father like son lmao

-- -- -- FORMULA 1 AU IS SO SILLY KJNAVJAK its very self indulgent its just pacman duo :3c etoiles is a announcer for f1 and pac is a racer!! mike is part of the pit crew/pac's manager as well. i like pactoiles so it is romantic and basically just pac and etoiles being silly and maybe flirting because kajsnvjkas sillyyyy. like pac always getting a little flustered when etoiles interviews him after races or gushes to mike about hwo cute he thiks etoiles is and stuff like that :>>

YAAAA WE LOVE PEPITO <33 pepito is so baby. pepito is the smallest little egg ever and i adore pepito for that <33 the admin of pepito is so good at playing a little kid :"))

YEAAH BRO i was watching tubbo and then he opened the player list to show ALMOST ALL THE EGGS I WAS SO CONFUSED JKSANVJKASD the forever lore is suppoe to be three streams in totla (judging by his stream title) so im very nervous abotu that it could mean or what more will happen :((

#✉️ asks or whatever #🍽️ anon

0 notes

saltiestcoconut · 5 months

Note

E, N, O, P, S, X, Z for vrains? 👀

Gosh thank you nonny for all these!!! ^^ let's goooooooooo vrains

E — Have you added anything cracky/ hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?

Hmmm other than my tags where I spazz out? There's that one fic where Ai poses as a writing A.I and writes smutty pm fics /wheeze and then a few more crack fics I haven't published dm for access :p (I am kidding tho do come talk to me if you wish)

N — Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

1. Silly Ryoken I love silly Ryoken give me more please!

2. Fem!aiyu

3. Textpost memes I don't care if there's a billion vrains textpost memes I love them so much give me more please!

O — Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

I hit shuffle and better off this way by a day to remember came up

In general: Ryoken

In delusion: I can make this song be about s3 Ai @ Yu I can!!!

P — Invent a random AU for any fandom

Invent a random au huh . . . I'm not that creative but I have been thinking about a potential dark fairy tale aiyu au so let's start there

Hmmm how about an au involving dreams and parallel dimensions? I've recently played through dream mirrors lore in MD solo mode and I'm lowkey obsessed with them (as I was when they first came out) and a Yusaku who rules over a kingdom of light (maybe not rules over but close enough) dreams about a kingdom cloaked in shadow and darkness and for some reason the ruler of the darkness seems very interested in him . . . Eventually coming to a point where Yusaku can't tell where he's supposed to belong in the shadows with ai? Or in the light with kusanagi? (Damn I just realized this probably isn't as dark as I wanted it to be but oh well I'm uncreative anyways ^^)

S — Show us an example of your personal headcon

Oh! I answered this already but eh have another one

I like to think that Yusaku has a drive to be heroic but to be interested in people (boys) they gotta save him in some shape way or form and also have a similar background as him (similar enough to understand his pain)

X — A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom.

I am such a sucker for someone who's willing to go to extremes for their beloved ones just a character who's extremely loyal to those they love I love that trope so much you have no idea qkdksjd

Z — Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go!

I've been thinking about how to me decode talker and firewall dragon look better when paired with yusaku instead of playmaker but their "evolved" forms darkfluid and accesscode talker match playmaker much better mostly because of darkfluids green on black design and accesscodes yellow on black sharp design (oh look there's purple on there too it seems like pm can't escape being paired with purple I wonder why . . . )

Also on the topic of monster cards I think it's neat how salamangreat is written in kanji just like how flames name is written!! It's very cute and if my memory serves me right there's just not a lot of vrains archetypes which do that (of course I could be wrong but I'll have to rewatch vrains to be certain) also fun fact "true" salamangreat monsters have kanji but salamangreat of fire is written purely in katakana possibly as a nod to its origins as an @ignister monster

Wait I just realized if this is what the question is asking? Oh well accept it please I love the card game as much as the anime so it's certainly fan-related 😂😂😂

#okay for the headcon one i talked about this with a friend already but shhhhh #i wonder if konami will release retrains of the other ignister beans with the corresponding ignis archetype #its retrains right? akfkjddk #but yeah i want that so bad please komommy itll be so good sjfjsjdjdjd #can doyon please be firewall support im still sad proxy horse isnt a proper firwall support (or security or parallel exceed or proxy dragon)#i want to see firewall become a properly supported archtype aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #ygo vrains #ask and ye shall receive

0 notes

maschotch · 2 years

Text

hi! just gonna make an intro post for those interested~

im rewatching criminal minds from the beginning and capping every episode as i go along. ive seen rewatched every cm season at least 3 times, and this blog is mostly to avoid sending my friends the same clips with the same comments every time i watch lol. its just all of my thoughts and ramblings for my favorite moments

im 22 and i try to avoid interacting with/following minors. asks are fine, just no dms. my main is @aarcn but this is where everything cm related is. i’m not into x reader fic, especially the explicit stuff, so if you post a lot of that i probably won’t follow you back. and if i unfollow all of a sudden, its probably because of that. nothing personal! i just dont really want to see it.

i’ll tag anything you need, just shoot me an ask and i’ll start tagging it no problem. its criminal minds so the subject matter can get a little dark so i totally understand :)

currently tagging:

cm crit—anything critiquing the show itself, usually the writers/creators

char crit—anything critiquing characters (anything jj critical will be tagged here but lmk if you’d like a more specific tag)

sa mention—any in depth analysis of foyet will also be tagged here

anti jj—critical of jj specifically, only if its in the actual post. if its in the tags im not gonna bother

feel free to send asks, anons always on, or dm me! i love talking about criminal minds and hearing different interpretations of characters <3 its just a fun funky show that im way too invested in

below the read more are links to the different kinds of posts:

i have a queue currently running with character caps from random eps but other than that most of the posts are chronological. photo post limit is 150 a day and i hit that pretty regularly, but i try to upload episodes as i watch them.

cm caps - these are just screenshots so you dont have to credit or anything, but i’d appreciate if you tagged me in or send me what you made! it makes me happy that people find uses for them

cm icons - these are edited caps, so if you do use them please reblog or credit. feel free to send requests! i have lots of character caps from eps i’ve done so far

cm writings - stuff i write! i dont have much bc im really not much of a writer anymore but fics, mcs, and extended meta will go here. may not use this tag often bc i tend to ramble in tags anyway so theres usually a mini-essay below every post

cm fics - specifically fics i write! @t4thotchniss and i have our own little cm universe that i’ll write stuff for sometimes, so you may want to check out his summary for the general gist

cm parallels - caps from different moments (though sometimes the same episode) that make me crazy 🤪 probably my favorite tag

cm comp - compilation posts, usually divided by season. again these are just caps so feel free to take and use as you will!

im open to requests for any of the above post types, so feel free to shoot an ask or dm. if you want something from an episode that i’ve done so far i probably have caps already so i’ll gladly do it! if you want something from a later season (or for characters i dont cap as much like jj, reid, rossi, etc), please be as specific as possible with your request. episode numbers would be great.

for shipping stuff i’m pretty open to most things. i do have some common romantic pairings i really do not like and view as exclusively platonic: hotch/reid, hotch/jj, hotch/elle... those are his kids lol

love for criminal minds has faded, so im not gonna try to push myself until the obsession returns. feel free to send thoughts/opinions/questions, i still have My Takes that stay in my brain forever <3 for now tho the only original posts are just gonna be queued character caps. ive got 1000+ drafts so its not gonna run out any time soon

#i went back and checked post type tags.. i wanted a 'cm fav' section but honestly it was just everything i post ajksdhglksjghlas #the brainrot runs deep ig

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zoya-herondale · 3 years

Text

Hellooo, I am a very big Shadowhunters enthusiast, and after the release of the first letter of SOBH I really needed to rant somewhere. Please bear with me if you are reading this.

Tw: a lil swearing, capital letters, me being a mess

We start with Magnus and Tessa - The Immortals

Could we have asked for a better start? Its lovely to see that they are in contact and their kids play with each other (UwU). I adore their friendship and to see them settled, live domestically and content with their families tho not for long,after all they have been through gives me life.

Also Tessa comparing chickens and demons is peak chaotic energy-

"It reminds me of the way James and Lucie used to ride on Will's shoulder"

Just rip out my fucking heart why don't you? I never needed it anyway. I always am a point away from crying whenever past characters are mentioned as nostalgia, remembered because of the little, insignificant yet memorable things they used to do. Its just a different kind of dagger-in-heart-twisted, if that makes any sense.

Kit and the Carstairs' relationship

They are just ✨perfection✨. Jem and Tessa doing everything they can to make Kit's life as normal as it can get? Kit being an Older Brother for Mina? Kit opening up more to Jem and Tessa, letting someone take care of him for once? Kit being on the receiving end of unconditional love and knowing that he is loved? cue me sobbing because of that scene in qoaad Can it get more wholesome than that?

"I just love him, Magnus, like he was my own"

If you weren't sobbing at this point you're straight out lying. Found family trope is something that all of us can agree, superior to anything else in the world. But when a kid who was born to a father who didn't care for him gets adopted by people who are genuinely happy to have him as their family, love them as if he was always there- it physically hurts how much this means.

Christopher Jonathan Herondale

Yes, I was saving him for the last coz this is gonna last a while. He's going to school, has friends and a girlfriend? When did that happen? But the thing which hurts the most about this is, he's probably trying to get over Ty. Sure he may have an attraction towards other people, but his heart belongs to Ty. He gave it to him and how much ever he tries I don't think he's going to get it back. Herondales love but once.

He hasn't spoken to Jem and Tessa anything about Ty yet, albeit its probably to prevent the part about Necromancy slipping out, but thinking about Ty would lead his thoughts to his *cough* unrequited love *cough* and he is doing everything to forget that. His nightmares about Livvy. He can see Livvy's ghost when she visits but I can't help but imagine that he feels partly guilty because if he had stopped Ty, if he hadn't gone along with it, Livvy would not be stuck in between life and death where she is.

If he had done that maybe he would be able to think of Ty without his heart shattering into pieces hearing the silence which followed his declaration of love.

Not if you do this. Not if you do this, Ty.

Again, I didn't need my heart anyway. How can Cassie make the first letter so fucking angsty? I think we all knew that this would end sadly but to start like this? I don't think I'll be able to cope if this is how we continue. Kitty starts off so angsty already and to have such flashback is just salt on wound.

THE PICTURE

It is too much adorable for me to handle. Kit baby sitting or maybe just joining in on Mina, Rafael and Max's play date? Oh and obviously Church too. No Shadowhunter generation is complete without Church. We can't see Max's superhero cape tho :(

Bonus ramble for those of us who are part of multiple fandoms like Marvel and Shadowhunters:

CAN WE TALK ABOUT MINA'S NICKNAME FOR MAGNUS?

Being a Shadowhunters and a Marvel fan doesn't mean too much unless you see subtle references like this. I saw the name 'Agnes' and I legit screamed. In my head obviously. But but but was this on purpose? Or was this co-incidental and I'm looking too much into it? The latter is probably more likely but hey you can't stop a girl from dreaming can you? This led me to compare them and the only parallels between Agnes(Agatha) and Magnus I see are their magic, which is, again, not too much. Afterall one of them uses it for villain-ish purposes while other runs Saint Magnus's Home for Wayward Shadowhunters™️

☆☆☆

So that was me rambling about the Letter Tessa sends to Magnus. I don't know what I'll be if this is just the first of the many to come parts of SOBH. If you want some one to ramble to or fangirl with, my asks and dms are always open for you :) <3

Also sorry for this long, random ass post shanagajhama

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lwt28brave · 3 years

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369 free merch + promo + singles

Welcome to another ramble by me because I am bored and can't help but think that the free merch thing has to mean something. Or not, because... expect the unexpected. I won't bring anyone else into the conversation but I'm incorporating some messages I sent into a GC pretty much unchanged.

There’s been a lot of talk surrounding the fact that we got studio pictures and then radio silence again, which I agree it’s not nice but not unheard of. And I know we all joked about the possible meanings of 369 but, after all, nothing really pointed to July 15th other than circumstantial evidence (a year it’s 365. 369 could be a year + four days. We don’t know when to start counting, but hey, July 11th is the day he left Syco, let’s start there because it seems important to him. Last year had 366 days, anyway).

The rest is under cut because this got out of hand pretty fast.

Let me preface this by saying I don’t think 18 months it’s such a long time for an artist not to release new music, but I understand that the circumstances might play into why the fandom is so on edge. As someone who’s been there for all of Louis solo career, I get why people might look at everything going on and have 2017 flashbacks. I get them from time to time. I remember him saying the album was ready to go, I remember the shift with Miss You and his tweets full of frustration, I remember TXF. And I wish to take a glimpse into 2021-Louis-brain too, let’s be honest, because Walls might have come out in 2020 but half of the songs were written by 2017. I am not the same person I was back then, and I hope he isn’t either.

But Louis already said we won’t be getting a new album this year. And I do think that him being a perfectionist plays a role into that, no matter how many fingers we can point. The pandemic also contributed to the state of fandom dynamics nowadays. We were supposed to get a tour last year, which equals lots of content, and we got silence then a livestream then more silence. And now we got some content then back to nothing (that we can see—I don’t want anyone to come and call Louis lazy in my DM’s again, I don’t have the patience for that).

Let’s recap. We have an 18-months-old album that got little to no promo back when it should have gotten it, and while I will always support all the projects going on, but, frankly and while this might sound shocking giving my annoying perseverance to stream the album day and night, I don’t think the numbers are so bad. There were never any intentions to have Walls reach newer demographics. The singles aren’t being pushed right now and, certainly, weren’t promoted when they should’ve been. They never got radio play and, nowadays, can’t be added to playlists by his new label… (and we can’t really expect them to do better when the artist has already moved on from that project and the team and discography can’t or won’t help). Obviously, the push we got with Defenceless was great, and it could be even bigger if we got the hang of Tik Tok, but I don’t want the fandom to feel like we’re failing Louis, or we could be doing more, when it’s out of reach unless we get really lucky and creative with those algorithms and trends.

So, now, do I believe we’re getting new music? Does 369 feels like a buildup? It does and, at the same, it doesn’t. From a marketing perspective, for a brand to tease something for so long without clarifying anything it would mean the loss of interest from the potential clients/buyers, creating a feeling of weariness if it goes on for too long, which could pivot them to look for other things to spend their money or time on.

So, no. I don’t believe the 369 thing was being intentionally promoted when Louis teased it the first time, and I think that’s a mistake. If it really has some deeper meaning that can be associated to his next project, I think mentioning it back in March to wait until the end of April to bring it up again and, even then, sell a product related to it without specifying anything about it is a mistake. As a strategist, you have to plan while keeping in mind we (your potential clients) have the attention span of a fish. It’s harsh but it’s what it is. Not to mention this ploy, if it is promoting something, does absolutely nothing to reach new demographics… once again.

I am talking from a professional standpoint here, not throwing blame at Louis but at whoever runs this shit (please, get back to me, I did send you a CV). It’s not as easier as looking for old patterns and discerning whether we’re getting something or not. We have to assess this as a potential new situation and thenwe can focus on analyzing.

Do I believe we’re getting new music? I suspect there’s something coming but it’s just that, a supposition. It’s an assumption that’s once again, pretty baseless. Is Louis sending out new merch to promote a new single? Is he just being grateful?

Let’s look at the facts. The last merch drop was called 369, so it has some kind of significancy. There’re 369 letters/presents. At least one journalist, that we know of, got one of them. We got a few articles almost two weeks ago already talking about Louis in a general sense, re-introducing him to the public as a successful musician and nothing else (which is always great to see). It could be slow seeding, to test the waters. We could have more coming, or it could have been a one-off because he was out and about for the EURO thing andwriting music and making sandwiches for charity, so it’s good to remind people of his existence. Don’t fade away, yada yada yada.

As I mentioned above, he made it clear that he wasn’t going to be releasing an album this year, but that something BIG was coming/going to happen. Right now, I’m expecting a single that could be tied to the documentary, and parallel promotion of both. Maybe we will get Louis’ music in a Netflix show thanks to BMG deal with them, too.

I don’t think we’re getting a new LP (long play, not Liam Payne) until the tour for the previous one is done BUT I think an EP would be an interesting and very clever move. It could help keep his name relevant and get him some presence in playlists and some radio-play without changing too much the setlist of the tour and, at the same time, pave the way for his sophomore album, giving him a much fair chance of breaking into the charts.

Alas, I can’t really make any of this happen. If the sound is summer-y, which could be because of the video of them dancing in the studio, I will say they are already a little late. If you want a summer hit, but you don’t think it will be an instant hit but a sleeper (not really the term I’m looking for, but you get me), release it during spring. If the sound is more like COACOAC it won’t make sense to release it until late August or September because emo music hits harder during autumn and winter which leaves me wondering why now, why now (if it’s now, which I doubt, given the silence from his socials once again, but then, not a good move to send more things related to 369).

So here’re my thoughts on all of this. If you have any questions I will be happy to answer them but let’s be honest, this has 1,3k words so most of you won’t even read all of it.

#Louis Tomlinson #industry #369 #music industry #music promotion #EP #predictions that won't come true

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project-zorthania · 3 years

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Let’s move on to The Look™ on Levi’s face in ch 137

I’ve seen a few different takes and talked to friends here and there about what that face means and how Levi might carry on from here on out, but until we see it in motion animated or have some sort of acknowledgment about it in conversation from the next chapter, it’s really all up to interpretation at this point.

Was it shock? Disbelief maybe? Did he feel as relieved and accomplished as he thought he would, or is he despairing as he realizes his final tangible link to Erwin has finally been severed? Isayama called him something akin to a floating balloon of sorts, having lost his sense of direction after Erwin’s death. Is this the moment he feels Erwin letting go of the ribbon that grounded him for so long, or is he realizing that Kenny hit a little closer to home than he thought? That he is in fact a ‘slave’ to being a hero and still feels the need to see the worth in all those sacrifices, that it never stopped at just fulfilling his vow? One could argue that not having killed Eren when he went rogue was another order that Levi bungled- is he moving to see that fulfilled?

I think at the very least it’s clear to everyone that Levi was not expecting to have had another opportunity at killing Zeke, but it came to him on a silver platter this time and you can see the raw desperation on his face when he realizes he has the chance to fulfill the very promise that’s been haunting him for the past 4 years.

So what now, especially with how the rumbling has stopped? I know there’s still debate as to whether Eren survived the blast, but let’s assume he died and the last two chapters are leading up to an epilogue or aftermath of what they’ve all managed to miraculously stop.

In the calm, Levi gives out and dies of his battle wounds paralleling his uncle’s passing?

Levi survives and lives his remaining days a handicapped retired vet and dies quietly and alone of old age?

Levi loses all purpose to live having completed his goal and commits suicide?

I’ve crossed that last one out because that’s exactly what I wanted to ramble about here, and I know a lot of people would disagree with me when I say this but Levi is the last person I ever imagine committing suicide.

( @elivra-fanfiction and I have talked about this quite a few times and I think we’ve come to terms with the fact that we’ll just have to agree to disagree pffahahah)

I know this is a particularly sensitive topic so if I say anything in my rambles that rubs anyone the wrong way, please feel free to come into my dm’s and have a chat with me. I promise I don’t bite and I’m always willing to learn <3

There are only a handful of people I can imagine taking their own life given what circumstances were thrown at them. Reiner of course goes without saying, perhaps Armin, Erwin I could imagine if he didn’t have the support and warmth of his loved ones as well, but Levi?

There is ample evidence throughout the entire story that depicts that Levi cherishes life, that it as something precious to him. A man who carves the Wings of Freedom from the coats of his fallen soldiers and stores them in memoriam, a man who gives comfort and absolves his comrades in their dying breaths by telling them their efforts were worth something, a man who managed to somehow balance the needs of humanity against his deepest desires to kill that which was responsible for robbing him of his other half, a man who first and foremost prioritizes survival above all else and demands as much from those who would follow him into battle.

How cruel that he who has such a love for life despite everything that was thrown at him would witness everything that he ever touched perish before him. That is his curse, to outlive that which he loves, and he has done it again and again and again.

Levi is strong, he is humanities strongest because he is weighed down by loss and anguish and continues to survive despite it all. He honors the dead vicariously just by breathing, by living the life they were stripped of. He is an archive of their memories, of their spirit, and he very desperately wanted to see all those sacrifices be worth something.

It would feel very out of character for him to take his own life when so many others that he begged to give meaning to were stripped of theirs against their will.

I don’t expect Levi to pack up and travel the world and do the things that the fallen didn’t have the opportunity to, to live whatever remaining days he has left alive to the fullest now that his vow has been fulfilled. I know... he is tired beyond measure, has at last fulfilled his main purpose and the passing years have been harsh on him. Like most eruris I desperately want to see him at peace and reunited with his loved ones, but not by his own hands.

I was hoping that Levi would’ve died in battle as a sacrifice of sorts, not unlike Hange, but with the way this last chapter wrapped up, there seems to still be a chance that he’ll pass away very much like Kenny did. If that happens, I’ll have to write a letter to personally thank Isayama for the rollercoaster of emotions and possibly the gayest relationship to have ever graced this planet.

#snk chapter 137 #levi ackerman #eruri #tw: suicide #as in #no i don't think he would have it in him to do that at all #snk final thoughts #part 2 #?#i guess that's the official tag i'm using now #my thoughts and rambles #i'll be sure to organise them at a later time when I can :'D #choo

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frostsinth · 3 years

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Burdened by the Stars - Pt. 3

Part 1 | 2 - MasterList

Ok, so I’ve been sitting on this mostly finished part since basically the end of the Year. I’m sorry, I just forgot how close I was to being done. And for some reason, I’m enjoying daydreaming out chapters right now rather than writing them -sigh-

But either way, Here’s an update! I hope you guys continue to enjoy the dumbassery and himbo vibes! If you like my work, consider supporting me by buying me a coffee from the link in my MasterList above. I have lots of other inane ramblings there too if you are interested. DM me for commissions, shoot me asks with thoughts/comments!

All the best, and Enjoy!

He didn’t answer for a long moment, and I could almost feel his eyes boring into the back of my skull. I ignored him to the best of my ability, leading the mare not to the main road, but to a small deer trail that ran along the outside wall. Luckily, the goblins depended pretty heavily upon their enchantments. I wouldn’t have to worry about being spotted as we approached the wall and followed along the smoother track I had picked out years ago. Guards did not frequent the turrets, and I knew we would not set off the magical triggers here. Once we got into the castle? That would be a different story...

“You never told me your name.” Erramun called softly.

I stiffened, casting a quick glance at him over my shoulder. He was leaning over the horn of the saddle, perhaps trying to look nonchalant. But the grimace on his features confirmed it was simply the more comfortable position for him. I wondered at that for a moment. How well he had hidden his discomfort before. How far he had travelled with such an injury that obviously pained him so. I wasn’t sure if that made him lucky, or just stubborn. I watched his eyes studying the great stone wall we moved parallel to, and chewed over what answer to give him. Had he heard my name before? The name of the “goblin Princess”? If I told him it honestly, would he finally understand who it was he had been talking to all this time?

For some reason, I didn’t want him to make that connection. Not yet. Not ever, if I could avoid it. I was hoping that after I got his wound washed up and dressed, I would be able to convince him to give up his foolish folly. A part of me wondered if he would treat me differently, if he knew. Would he spend his energy attempting to win me over? I didn’t fancy the idea of having to fend off his advances. And if I was being completely honest… I rather liked how he treated me now. Like an equal. Not someone to fawn over, or try to flatter and praise to some unseen advantage. He didn’t act like I couldn’t do things for myself, or like it was beneath me to do so, as others so often did. But I knew I couldn’t avoid giving him a name forever...

“Gana.” I told him after a moment too long, settling on the name my nieces and nephews had dubbed me with years ago as toddlers unable to pronounce the full ‘Morgana’. “... My name is Gana.”

“Do you… serve the Princess then, Gana?” He asked, hesitant, but his tone curious. Then snorted slightly. “I’m not sure I can picture you as a servant. Obedient... quiet.”

“Well, you have known me for such a long time.” I replied, unwilling to give any real answer. “Obviously you would know, now wouldn’t you?” He started to open his mouth with a bemused curl in its corners but I waved my hand to silence him. “Shush now. Sneaking in requires a modicum of quiet, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Sneaking in?” He echoed, though I saw him wince at his own volume. He quickly corrected that to a whisper with his next words. “... Why are we sneaking in?”

I glanced at him again. “Because you’re an orc. Half-orc, alright.” I quickly corrected when I saw him open his mouth to argue. “Either way, you’ll raise a lot of questions. Call too much attention to us.”

“And that’s a…. Bad thing?”

I pulled us up beside the small side gate around the back side of the palace. His mare shifted nervously, and I saw her eyes roll to consider the steep drop off to our left. It was narrow here, but I knew she would fit safely. I had taken my own horse out this route more than once. I passed him the reins momentarily as I turned back to fiddle with the locks and latches.

“... It would just make things complicated, ok?” I told him distractedly. “Just... Trust me.”

I heard him give a deep rumble. “Alright. I do.”

I jerked my head back to him. “You do what?”

His emerald eyes seemed particularly vibrant against the grey sky overhead. “Trust you. You seem very kind, Gana. And very smart.”

I almost laughed, but quickly remembered where we were. I shook my head instead, bewildered. “You know I was being sarcastic before, right?” I quipped. “You don’t actually know me at all.”

Another rumble, and I saw him nod with it. “Yes… But you are the first human who did not seem afraid of me when you first saw me. And you speak plainly, not with that strange way of speaking without speaking.” He offered me a weak grin, and my heart skipped a little. “And now you, eh… sneak me into the castle. To help me. Even though I have offered you nothing in return.”

“What do you mean, speaking without speaking?” I asked, turning back to the latches to hide the sudden flush to my face.

A soft ‘hmm’ this time, as he struggled to find the right words. “The King, Valeri-whatsits. He would speak, and say words. And I would hear them, and I knew them. But I would learn nothing from them. He might as well not have spoken at all.” I could hear the frown lacing his next words. “I did not like it. I felt… foolish, and confused.”

I snorted, shaking my head and pulling the last lock loose. Unwinding the chains to yank open the creaky gate. It led into a deep tunnel, not quite high enough to ride through on horseback. I hoped for his sake Erramun continued to keep his head bowed over the horn of his mount’s saddle.

“That’s how court is.” I told him distractedly, waving them through before refastening the gate behind us. I took up the mare’s reins again to lead them through the tunnel. “People never say what they mean. And to learn anything, you have to ask the right questions. Then you have to listen to what people don’t say.”

His soft growl reverberated around the tunnel walls, and his mount skittered slightly at the sound. I could tell she was nervous by the close quarters, and patted her nose reassuringly. She gave a soft wuffing sound and nudged my shoulder.

“This makes no sense. Why not just-”

“Shh!” I told him, pulling up short as I heard the click of boots at the other end of the tunnel.

But after a moment, the sounds passed. I sighed quietly, then gave the mare a gentle tug to start leading her forward once more. The tunnel was not long, and within a few yards we were at its mouth. The large mare attempted to surge forward at this realization, eager to be in the open air, but I held her firm. Planting my heels to keep her from overwhelming me, though I was certain she would have no trouble doing so should she so choose. But she let me still her as I poked my head out first and looked around. The small side path was empty, and I quickly led us out and up. Heading from the outer wall around the outside of the city to the castle proper.

“... Can I speak now?” He asked after a little, and I rolled my eyes.

“Well, it seems you already did.”

He chuckled softly. “See? I like you. You do not speak without speaking. This is why I trust you.”

I paused, rubbing the mare’s nose absent mindedly. Feeling a stab of guilt at his words. After all, I might not beat around the bush like my brother... but I was certainly withholding a lot of information. She gave another soft wuff. I shook myself, bringing my mind back to the present, and started to lead her forward again.

“I was afraid all humans would be like the King.” He told me after a few moments. Seeming strangely eager to fill the silence that had fallen between us.

I peeked at him quickly. “Have you never met a human before?” I couldn’t help the curious edge to my tone.

He offered me a toothy grin. “Just one. My mother.” The half-orc tilted his head lazily to the side. “She used to tell me all kinds of stories when I was little. Mostly about Princesses, and knights, and other such childish things.”

“Hardly seems childish,” I scoffed, “I grew up in a castle, after all-” I stopped myself short, realizing I had almost let on to a little more than I had intended. I quickly changed the subject. “I’ve never met an orc before- HALF orc,” I corrected again, shooting him a look which he chased off with a grin as he withheld his objection, “I hope they are not all as dense as you.”

Erramun gave another light chuckle, obviously more amused than insulted by my comment. “I think some are denser.” He rubbed his free hand at the short cropping of hair by his temple. “... But I have been accused of having a heavy skull.”

You could say that again. I grumbled silently to myself. Still, I couldn’t resist another peek at him over my shoulder. It could have been my imagination, but he seemed to be drooping more and more. And perhaps his voice was becoming a little weaker. I would have to get him someplace soon, or else I would be wrangling with an unconscious orc in the hallways of the goblin castle. I didn’t fancy my chances of managing such a feat, especially while continuing to remain unnoticed. I was good, but I wasn’t that good.

I made a point to hurry as fast as I could manage through the outer city to the outer wall of the castle proper. We approached the servant and delivery entrance at the far back side without being spotted. It was quiet for the time being, as all morning deliveries would have already been completed and staff should have all been on site no later than an hour or so after dawn. I quickly led them through the wrought iron gate, then around the back to a small yard fenced in by short stone walls. Perhaps it had been intended for a garden at one point, but it was mostly dirt now, save for one small tree and some sparse grass. I knew the servants often used it to park carts meant to be unloaded for the kitchen, rather than bringing things through the front entrances.

“Can you walk?” I asked him, closing another small gate behind us.

He grunted the affirmative, and ungracefully dismounted. Leaning heavily against the mare still as he tried to find his balance. I wondered if he was perhaps far too prideful to trust his assessment of his abilities, and quickly began to consider a few alternative options in case that were true. Though I couldn’t think of any truly plausible ones at that moment. Then I saw him hesitate, stroking the mare’s mane fondly.

“... Will she be alright here?”

I was surprised at the tenderness in his voice. He was so large, with such a harsh looking brow and jutting teeth. Even by goblin standards he seemed a little monstrous. Which made his tone seem all the more misplaced, and I had to resist the urge to look around for a different source. I glanced over at the mare quietly instead as he gently stroked her thick white neck.

“... I’ll come down later to bring her to the stables.” I assured him. “But first, we need to get you up to the tower before you pass out.”

“The tower?” He echoed, giving the mare a final pat and staggering after me as I made my way to the servant’s door at the far side of the yard.

“You have a lot of questions for someone who has no options.” I grumbled, shouldering open the door and ducking through it. “Or perhaps you are actually half parrot as well as orc?” I put a little extra effort into pretending his irritating habit of echoing my words was the only reason I was so hesitant to answer his prying.

He chuckled, but didn’t answer either. Once through the door I turned to watch the orc scrunch his body up, bowing low at the waist and curling his wide shoulders, with his hands practically on the ground to balance himself. He slunk through the small doorway with a grunt. Once inside, he was barely able to straighten himself, his head bumping into the ceiling.

“... Is the whole building like this?” He asked a few yards down after the fifth low hanging lamp clunked him on the head.

I stifled a giggle, amused at his perturbed look as he rubbed at the side of his skull indignantly. He had to keep his head cocked to the side at an odd angle to keep from scraping the ceiling with each step. I pretended I wasn’t looking though as his emerald eyes swung back around, ducking through another particularly low frame. There was nothing to look at, after all, I reminded myself. Just a bloody half-orc who wanted to marry the Princess...

“These are the servant’s quarters.” I told him, unable to completely keep my amusement from my voice. “But it is a goblin castle after all. Most things are goblin sized.”

He grumbled again, opening his mouth to offer a retort. I quickly held up my hand, then brought my finger to my lips. Silencing him as a small gaggle of goblins passed us by, talking noisily among themselves. I waited until they were around the next corner, then turned back to the half-orc behind me. I tapped my lips again, then gestured for him to follow me.

We made our way through the rest of the castle almost without incident. Erramun got wedged in the narrow stairwell from the servants’ quarters to the main floor, but a bit of wiggling had him loose with only a few extra wasted minutes. Once there, the ceilings and hallways were a little larger, and I heard him sigh with palpable relief as he was able to straighten more comfortably. I led him as quickly as we were able. Skirting past guards and down side hallways to avoid the servants and guests. Luckily, I knew every nook and cranny by heart; I had spent every summer and winter here since I was nine years old. And had loved nothing more than to explore its vast expanse. The castle was huge, and intricately constructed. There were hundreds of rooms, at least as many hallways, and more than a few exciting features to keep an adventurous young spirit entertained. Goblins used magic nearly as often as they used conventional decoration and construction methods, and the castle was filled with enchantments. From doorways that opened by themselves, to moving mosaics and paintings, to candelabras that flared to life when you passed, to seemingly solid walls that one could walk right through. There was no shortage of things to astound. And that was just the castle! This didn’t even hold a candle to the massive goblin city in the tunnels and passageways beneath it.

It was also helpful that I was intimately familiar with the castle’s routine; when the servants changed the bedsheets or did the wash, when the guards made their rounds, when the nobles came to the drawing room for drinks and cards. The general bubbly air of the castle was almost infectious, and I couldn’t help smiling at the laughter and music that echoed down almost every hallway. Delicious smells filled the air as the cooks prepared the mid-day meal, and I heard the occasional clatter and clash of other servants cleaning or tidying.

A peek at Erramun found both his eyes and his mouth wide as he took it all in. I remembered fondly my own first time walking the halls, and I smiled warmly at the memory. I watched him crane his neck back to look at the intricate mosaics on the ceilings, then down to the floor to consider the no less than three to seven different rugs running the length of each hallway. Niko had done his best to instill a bit of order on the palace since he had moved in over a decade before. But goblins would be goblins, and they loved patterns and colors. To them, the more made the merrier, and their décor was absolutely overflowing with it. Curtains and lace and frills. Decadent chandeliers and sculptures and vases. Gold and silver, copper and bronze. Lapis lazuli, ruby, emerald, diamond, onyx, opal, sapphire. Anything and everything imaginable lined the walls and poured into the hallways themselves. It was a bit cluttered, and certainly overwhelming if you weren’t used to it. But each piece shone and sparkled, and the halls felt warm, clean, and welcoming despite being mostly dimly lit. Goblins could see in the dark, after all.

I wondered briefly if orcs shared this trait. If I recalled my history correctly, orcs and goblins shared an ancient common ancestor. I didn’t have an enchantment on my eyes as Niko did, but I had become rather adept at moving about in dimly lit places. And with more non-goblins wandering the halls these days, there were more sources of light than in the past. I burned with curiosity to know how Erramun’s half-orc blood affected his sight. But it was something that would have to be an investigation for later, as I felt silence was the key factor for our stealth through the castle. Thankfully, even if the half-orc had more questions, he kept them to himself for the time being, and followed behind me obediently. Perhaps sensing urgency and silence were key. Or perhaps lacking the strength or presence of mind to have any questions to ask. That was a worrying thought, and I cast another glance over my shoulder to check on him. He gave me a sheepish grin and a little wave of his big hand. Alright for the time being then, I supposed, ignoring the little flutter in my chest at his smile.

We reached the upper levels a few minutes later, above ground and built to seemingly grow up into the sky out of the mountainside itself. Filled with windows to pour the bright winter sun through. And enchanted to have more space on the inside than it would appear to have by the outside, though its actual physical size was certainly no small measure. I almost sighed with relief. The tallest and largest towers had been quartered off for private use by the Royal family, and thus were off limits to guests and other outsiders. There would be less people wandering the halls up here; most of my relatives should be in the castle below going about their daily responsibilities. My nieces and nephews would be with their tutors, and Grier and Nikostratus would be handling affairs of state. It was possible there might be a servant or two finishing up tidying the rooms from the morning, I reasoned. But for the most part that would have already been managed after the goblin King had finally been roused for the day. Likely no more than an hour or so before our arrival. My goblin brother-in-law was perhaps the farthest thing from a morning person possible, preferring to rise no earlier than noon if allowed, despite the fact that his husband was usually up at dawn every day. Being early risers was a trait my brothers and I all shared. But I was thankful that my timing was perfect for having returned at just the right time to have skirted running into either of the monarchs of this castle.

The upper floors also had the added advantage of being designed with human comfort in mind. It had taken less than a year for the goblins to realize that their new human King was much taller than any of them, and having door frames and handles set to goblin height was painfully uncomfortable for him (not that he would ever complain of course). They had adjusted many of the lower levels to be more accessible by both races in light of this (though still heavily favoring the smaller goblins). But our private quarters were almost a full foot taller than any of the others, with taller and wider doors, and handles set at almost waist level. The bottoms of the windows came to at least our hips as well, and the ceilings were at least 8 or more feet high. Certainly it was a relief to a stiff back to be able to come here at the end of a long day reaching for things closer to our knees than our hips and finally be able to straighten and relax our spines. I resisted the urge to stretch mine, as I usually did once I reached the top step, and settled with checking over my shoulder to see if Erramun had made it up the last flight of stairs.

He had, though sweat had broken across his brow, and his big eyes looked quite drained and tired. I jerked my head down the hall as he slowly raised his gaze to mine, panting lightly.

“Almost there.” I assured him. “Just down this hall.”

He managed a small grin, affirmative but tired, and nodded. I hoped he could hold out for the last few yards. I didn’t fancy trying to drag him the rest of the way to my chambers. I gestured for him to follow me, and turned to lead again. I had already started to relax, feeling a small, smug sense of accomplishment at having managed to sneak an orc of all things undetected through the castle.

So I nearly squeaked with surprise when we rounded the corner to find the door to my room unexpectedly ajar. And through it, I could just make out the shoulders of an all too familiar frame.

I quickly scrambled backwards, and found myself running into Erramun’s larger form. I didn’t have time to care about my body bumping awkwardly into his. I spun, placing both hands on his chest and giving him an urgent shrug. I thanked whatever god was listening that he responded effectively and without a word. Letting me half-push, half-steer him a few feet back down the hallway, though his eyes widened and his face became a mask of confusion as I did. A cold chill washed down my spine as I heard the familiar click of fine black boots on the tiled floor behind us. Then the creak of my door followed by the soft thunk as he pulled it closed behind him. But as we rounded the corner, I heard a soft feminine hum coming from the opposite direction, and my blood ran cold as well. I yanked the half-orc to a stop, nearly knocking him off balance in the process, spinning and searching the hall frantically. Knowing there would be no way to skirt both parties without detection and searching for the nearest hiding spot. I saw only one choice, short of throwing us both out the window, and decided quickly to utilize it.

I shoved Erramun into a small curtained alcove right at the bend of the rounded hall unceremoniously, and popped in right after. Settling the curtain back into place behind me. It was a tight fit with the big orc, and his shoulders shuffled aside the contents of the cupboard with a soft scuffle. But I found if I pressed my shoulders into his broad chest, I could just manage to keep myself from brushing against the covering curtain and my toes from popping out the bottom. I deftly caught the handle of a displaced broom as it started to topple, righting it and laying it lightly against the wall beside us before it’s fall would alert the pair in the hallway beyond. Then I strained my ears and listened to the fast approaching click of boots as well as the soft hum from the opposite direction.

“Ah, cara Hausa, I hope you are well,” came my brother’s voice in goblinese, and my spine stiffened at the sound nervously, “Have you seen the Princess of late?” I heard him ask after a brief exchange of formalities. “She is not in her rooms.”

“I am sorry, My King,” Came the reply, and I recognized the old head housekeeper Hausa’s distinctive, airy voice, “I have not seen her today, though I believe her Ladies went to town... Should I send the servants to search for her?”

“That won’t be necessary,” He replied, his voice its usual stiff and formal tone, “I am sure she will turn up soon. Thank you, cara Hausa.”

Their voices and footsteps slowly faded back towards the stairwell, and I allowed myself to breathe a sigh of relief I had withheld before. Allowing me a moment to bring myself back up to speed and assess our situation. I turned around to apologize to Erramun for his decidedly rough treatment... and found myself perfectly planted against his bare chest.

My heart leaped, and my eyes widened by a hair. I couldn’t help craning my neck back to look up at him (it was either that or stare at his well defined pectoral muscles), and found his emerald eyes waiting for me. It was then that I realized, somewhere amid the frantic shuffle, I had become quite neatly tucked against him in the cramped space. His free arm was wrapped around my waist, his broad shoulders hunched around me to better fit us both into the tiny alcove. One of my hands rested lightly on his arm, as if ready to pull him about again if needed, and the other hovered barely a hair away from his bare sternum. I felt a tightness in my chest I couldn’t remember having been there before, and froze in place. Trapped in those vibrant emerald eyes…

After a few skittering beats of my heart, I felt my brain quickly flood back into my skull. My eyes widened a hair more, and I shoved myself away from him. Tangling myself in the curtain behind me and upsetting the cleaning supplies behind him in the process. Nearly falling out into the hallway beyond as he nearly fell over into the wash bucket. I quickly righted myself, pushing the curtain to the side and noisily clearing my throat.

“Ah… S-sorry about that…” I mumbled, swallowing hard as my face flushed dark. I saw him nod slowly out the corner of my eye, otherwise silent as he righted himself. It took me a decidedly long time to remember what we had been doing before that moment. I turned, wrapping my arms about myself. “...This way.”

I skittered down the hall, glancing nervously about. As if my brother might still pop out from any corner. But the final stretch was empty, and I nearly sighed with relief as I shoved open the door to my rooms and quickly ushered Erramun inside. Trying not to remember how wonderfully warm his large arm had felt wrapped around my waist. And strong too, nearly as firm as stone. I quickly shook my head, latching the door behind me and forcing my thoughts to the issue at hand. Well, the bigger issue rather; that I now had successfully smuggled in a bloody and dirty orc into my private quarters.

My chambers had three rooms. The door from the hallway led to a sitting area, with a large fireplace and plush purple couches. The walls were lined with shelves, which were stuffed full of books, tomes, and scrolls. Most of which depicted the many adventures I longed to partake in. Others were atlases, or maps of the surrounding regions. A few were filled with ancient, unsolved mysteries or legends. Some had cultural histories, or descriptions of fantastical creatures and races. On the largest flat wall, I had tacked up an inked map of the world Grier and Niko had gifted me long ago. It was intricately detailed and enchanted so that the squiggly lines denoting the ocean rippled and the mountainous regions had swirly clouds shifting over their peaks. It also looked three dimensional, though it was in fact flat, and I had poked colorful pins and bobbles into the places I most wanted to visit. My desk was set beneath it, with stacks of papers and notes regarding each pin or region as well as small decorative boxes filled with things I had found exploring the castle and woods surrounding it. There was also a small table set before the couches, and a few chests filled with whatever I hadn’t been able to fit elsewhere. Sextants, small carvings, handmade memorabilia from far off lands my brothers and other nobles had gifted me. A few stuck out from the edges of the elegant chests, spilling like treasure onto the floor below.

Beyond the sitting room was my bed chamber, which had little aside from the large bed with thick velvet curtains and a big armoire stuffed to bursting with my clothes. There was also a vanity table, where I kept brushes and perfumes, gems and jewels, and other such things that were mostly left to gather dust. There was also a window seat, surrounded by piles of books I was currently working my way through, and a small balcony where I kept various potted plants. Many were also from far off lands carefully brought for my collection, though I knew my brother kept a far more extensive garden in the glass domed balcony above his chambers.

The final room was the smallest of the three, and contained a single deep pool with a small, crystal encrusted waterfall. It had a small alcove of mirrors set before a raised platform by the door to the bedroom, and a small stone table carved into the wall with a few brushes and other such personal care items. I had filled most of that room with potted plants as well, as sunlight filtered in through stained glass over the partially steepled ceiling. I used to imagine it as a magical lagoon when I was younger, though it had much more practical uses for me now.

I rested my forehead against the door for a moment with relief. Finally feeling a little calmer now that the worst was behind us. When I turned, I found the half-orc looking about curiously. His eyes wide and filled with wonder. I wasn’t sure why. There was nothing particularly special about my rooms. They were smaller than the other members of the family, mostly because I only lived here for part of the year. And also because I rarely spent more than a rainy afternoon in them.

“Sit down,” I ordered him, removing my cloak from my shoulders and draping over the back of the couch, “Let’s see if we can get your wound properly cleaned before infection sets in.”

“Who were they?” He asked as he slowly settled into the indicated seat; an old ottoman at the back of one couch.

“Who was who?” I asked absentmindedly, shuffling some things around in a brief attempt to clean the clutter. I gave up after another moment, simply kicking it all off to the side and gathering up a shallow porcelain basin from on top of one of the chests.

“The people, out there,” He nodded to the door and the hallway beyond, “They spoke funny. It sounded like Tlaloc, but it was all wrong.”

I hesitated, debating whether or not to tell him the truth for a moment. “They were speaking goblinese. The woman was Hausa, the head housekeeper for the Royal family.” I explained finally, “... The man was King Nikostratus…. What’s tlaloc?” I asked, quickly looking to change the subject.

Erramun chewed on his lip for a moment. “Eh? Oh… That’s what orcs speak.” I felt his eyes following me as I gathered some linens into the basin next. “... You said King Nicktosansus?”

I couldn’t suppress a small giggle. “Nikostratus.” I corrected him, collecting a pitcher of water in my free hand as I balanced the basin on my opposite hip.

He grunted, shaking his head. “Why do all the Kings here have such big names?” He grumbled. “King Vale-whatsits, King Nitostrawsus.”

“King Valerianus and King Nikostratus.” I corrected him good naturedly. “And that’s probably because they are brothers, I would think.” I carefully set the basin on the seat beside him, then went over to hoist a small side table and carry over. “Big long names are a bit of a tradition in the family.”

“Hmmm, seems silly.” He returned. “By the time I finish saying their names and titles, I could have said much more important things.”

I almost laughed. “You sound like Grier.”

“Grier?” He asked curiously.

I kicked myself internally for the slip, pursing my lips slightly as I set the table beside him and moved the basin to its top. “... King Grier, I should say.” I glanced at him out the corner of my eye. “That’s King Nikostratus’ husband. The goblin King.”

“So he is the goblin Princess’ father?” His voice reflected his piqued interest with a lighter tone. “I thought King Valer-whatsits might be her father, but he’s not a goblin, and they say he is her brother.”

I hesitated again, pouring some water into the basin and dropping one of the linens in. Exactly how much should I share? At what point would he figure it out?

“Ah… it’s… complicated.” I offered finally, ringing out the cloth distractedly. “But their father is dead.” I thumbed the cloth for a moment. “Long dead. It's just the three of them now.”

Erramun snorted, shaking his head. “Three Kings? There are too many Kings!” He complained. “Just tell me which one I need to challenge for the Princess.”

My head snapped over to him in surprise. “Challenge??”

He nodded eagerly, and the light in his eyes spreading from a broad smile over his lips. “Yes! After I convince her to marry me, I must defeat her father in combat to win the Princess. Though I suppose one of these Kings will have to do.” He leaned back, seeming to mull that over. “I think a goblin would be easiest to best, but there would be no real challenge in it.”

Anger flared up in me. “What makes you think you can just win her?” I snapped. “Is the Princess just some trophy to you??”

Now it was his turn to look surprised. “That is just the way of things.” He argued. “A man finds his partner, then has to prove he would be a good husband. The best way to do that is to defeat their father in combat.” He nodded assuredly. “That way they both know he is strong enough to-”

“That sounds stupid.” I cut him off crossly, putting my hands on my hips and scowling at him.

He frowned back at me, his heavy brow scrunching together. “That is the way of things!”

“For orcs, maybe!” I shot back. “But you can’t just carry off whomever you like! Just muscle your way into a marriage and force someone’s hand!”

That gave him pause, and he looked me up and down. We were almost perfectly eye level with him sitting. I watched him chew his lip again, seeming to think it over quietly.

“... This is not how goblins do it?”

I scoffed again. “Absolutely not!” I snapped. “Nor humans!”

He fell silent again. And I glared at him for a long, angry moment before tossing up my hands with a frustrated tch. I stomped over to another chest, kicking it open and digging through it for a moment.

“... How do I win the goblin Princess then?” He asked after a little while.

I shot him a scalding look over my shoulder. “You don’t. The Princess is not for sale, nor for winning. She doesn’t want to marry anyone. Ever. Period. End of discussion.” I slammed the chest shut, having not found what I was looking for yet, and stomped past him over to the next. “So after I wrap up your stupid cut, you’d best shove off. Agreed?”

I was stopped short as his big hand came out. Catching my arm and stilling me. I was so surprised, my eyebrows flew up, and I looked at him with wide eyes. His face was soft, recalcitrant. He chewed on his thick bottom lip for another moment before finally looking up at me with those dazzling emerald eyes.

“I am sorry, Gana,” He told me, his thick voice heavier with his sullen apology, “I did not mean to upset you…” He grunted, giving my arm a gentle tug. Pulling me a step closer to him before I had fully realized what he was doing. “If this was an orc, I would better know what to do. I could take them hunting with me, or maybe cook a beast I had killed myself.” I looked down at him, his broad chin craned up slightly to keep our eyes locked. “I do not know how to impress a King, or a Princess.” He scoffed slightly, finally releasing my arm and looking away. “I have not even met her yet and I have already failed.”

I rubbed at my arm where his hand had been, frozen in place with my confusion. “... It doesn’t matter.” I told him, a bit bitterly. “Like I said… The Princess isn’t interested in getting married.”

I turned and walked more quietly over to the chests. Pulling it open more carefully and digging through its contents. The silence stretched for a long, strained moment. I pulled out a few glass jars of healing balm, laying them on the floor by my knees as I put the other things back into place.

“.... What is she interested in, then?”

I couldn’t suppress a soft laugh, shaking my head. “So now you want to know more about her?” I scoffed, standing with my bounty and making my way back over. “Maybe that was something you should have thought of before you decided to marry her?”

He shrugged his big green shoulders noncommittally, then winced as it stretched his wound. “I mean, I didn’t think it was important…”

I raised a brow at him, dropping the supplies on the bench beside him. “It’s not important to know anything about the person you were going to spend the rest of your life with?”

He frowned, his thick lip wobbling about his small tusks as he seemed to chew that over. “I never thought of it like that…”

“How did you think of it then?” I asked, moving over to the basin once more. “Did you think you would see her for the first time and just… fall in love?”

Erramun fell silent, his brow furrowing deeply again. I soaked the cloth, wringing it out briefly before turning to him. I was surprised to find him still quiet, obviously lost in thought. I cocked one hip to the side, looking him up and down. His emerald green eyes glanced over at my movement.

“Don’t think too hard,” I advised, “You’ll make smoke come out of your ears.”

The big fellow gave a grunt that heaved the entirety of his torso up and down, then shook his head. I watched him for another moment, then glanced down at the wet cloth in my hands. Then back at him. My entire face starting to grow hot. After another tense moment, I tossed the cloth back into the basin.

“It’s no use, you’re filthy.” I told him irritatedly.

He cocked one large bushy brow up. “Does this bother you?”

I rolled my eyes. “Besides the fact that you stink, I mean that one measly little cloth is not going to be enough to clean all…” I hesitated, my hand halfway through gesturing over his muscular torso. I cleared my throat. “... That…”

Erramun gave me a dopey grin, leaning on his palms at the edge of his seat. “Perhaps I am too much a challenge for you then?”

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes again, pretending my cheeks weren’t flushing dark at his words. I shook my head and placed my hands on my hips. Scowling at him.

“You’ll have to bathe.” I jerked my head to the back room. “You know how to I hope?”

He gave a growl, then jerked himself clumsily to his feet. Forcing me to stagger back a step or two to avoid bumping into him as he did. I quickly rebalanced myself, letting my scowl deepen as I had to tilt my head back to look up at him now.

“I think I can manage.” He mused, then glanced over at the door.

“Good.” I grumbled, crossing my arms and looking off to the side to avoid staring at his broad chest again. “You do that. I’ll see if I can find you something to wear.”

“Something to wear?” He echoed, surprised.

“Definitely part parrot.” I snipped at him. “Yes, fool orc. Something to wear. Your skirt is filthy, and you stand out like a sore thumb as you are.”

He seemed to consider this, rubbing his furs between a thumb and finger. “And that would be a bad thing, yes? ... Your men do not wear their skins as this?”

I shook my head. “No. But,” I paused, looking him over, “I’m not sure I’ll be able to find anything big enough…” I slipped past him, walking over to the door to the bathing rooms and sliding it open. “I don’t suppose you can avoid drowning for now while I go look for something?”

His grin returned, and I stiffened slightly at the sight of it. “I think I can manage.” He replied again. Then tilted his head to the side. “... Will you be long?”

It took me longer than I cared to admit to find my breath again. The way he asked… made it sound almost hopeful. I swallowed the dryness from my throat, shrugging my shoulders.

“I make no promises.” I returned, as airy as I could manage, and he chuckled. Sluggishly striding over and pausing at the opposite side of the door. I saw him glance in briefly, before returning his attention to me.

“I will wait for you then, Gana. As long as you need.”

I released a breath I didn’t know I was holding as he slipped past me into the rooms. I intended to turn and head back out to scour the Royal quarters for clothes large enough to fit an orc. But couldn’t help lingering an extra moment as I watched him unfasten the strap to his pauldron. He rubbed at his wounded side as he dropped the scanty armor onto the stone floor, then glanced over his shoulder at me. I quickly pretended I had merely been double checking the towel situation by the door. Turning to make my way back out when his voice came once more and gave me pause.

“... When you return, perhaps we can speak more about what the Princess is like?”

The sliding door made a satisfying snap as I forcibly shut it behind me.

UPDATE: Part Four HERE

#Burdened by the Stars #slow burn #frenemies #angst #monster romance #regency romance #monster x human #monster lover #monster boyfriend #orc #half-orc #orc lover #orc boyfriend #orc x human #terato #exophilia

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