#but being harsh on yourself isnt going to help

[lifeonmarz-blog]

Pluto through the houses: Synastry

1st: Both people have a way of prying under the skin of the other bringing all the insecurities they thought were hidden to the light. It can be almost jarring and abrasive. Even though its not intentional they pick up on it so naturally they probably didnt even know they hit a wound. This relationship may come about at a time when your self image and public persona is going through a change. Lying about that image can also be an issue here. Lying to protect how the other views your life. A lot of glamorization and intentional avoidant of details. These two can be mesmerized by the persona of each other. Pluto person is almost thirsty for the attention of house person. House person likes the attention but is much more nonchalant about it maybe even a little scared of plutos intensity. Their upbringing emotionally is similar but may not seem similar in the physical aspect of it. People could look at this couple as an odd pairing. It can seem taboo for one or both of them. You can tell that they were attracted to the darker aspect of each other. Its pluto so you know the power dynamics are being tested, pluto person is controlling over the house person. Sometimes that could be to extreme extents. They want their full undivided attention always. If pluto person releases their grasp this can be a very powerful magnetic couple. Manifesting with ease through how others view them together.

2nd: Pluto person ''levels'' house person up, this could be financially or with plutos image but essentially both people add to each others persona. The flow is more natural if the woman or more feminine person is the house person. Wishful thinking could be a problem here because this is actually a very romantic placement. The way love is expressed if very comforting and ideal for both people. Theres a mutual taste in the type things you enjoy so it becomes easy to believe you might not get this somewhere else. The dates are very fun and the couple loves to show each other off. This is one of the easiest houses to create abundance in as a couple. Balancing work and love is an obstacle, if both parties aren't equally as committed to setting aside time together. It can easily become a situation were someone feels neglected. It takes a certain amount of emotional detachment to have a long lasting relationship with this placement. Id say this is a more subtle place for pluto to be it isnt as harsh as some of the others.

3rd: Challenging each others views is almost second nature. Both help each other think outside the box. Their perspectives usually differ quite a bit so it makes for interesting conversation. Pluto person redefines how house person approaches business and relationship matters, offering constructive criticism that the house person usually appreciates. This placement can be nice for an entrepreneur and their partner. Pluto person sees house persons gifts and wants to help refine it. House person teaches pluto person new ways of achieving goals. Too much focus could be on career matters and the relationship could be on and off one or both parties could make excuses for why the communication isn't consistent. One person can try harder to keep the relationship together the other avoiding emotional intimacy. When things are smooth they view each other as the ideal partner then the communication waivers again. Pluto person encourages house person to come out of their shell. If you have any fears about expressing yourself without guilt or shame. In its positive this relationship will help you feel comfortable being yourself without judgement.

4th: Pluto person reminds house person of family member usually a parent. For better or worse. These two came together to unlock something in each others DNA, realizing something about their worth or finding a new sense of gratitude. They mesh well into each other, operating like they've been together for years even if they just met. This connection could've been established through insecurities or for financial benefit. There could be insecurities around how much more money one person makes over the other or secretly competing with each other. This relationship could demand a lot of time and attention being distracting to the career of one or both parties. Or on the flip slide someone can feel unseen and lonely falling to the backside because of the career of the other. Emotionally there's a feeling of being unfulfilled like something is missing. House person views the pluto person as their ideal, perfect match even, The childhood of these two was similar. They share similar wounds around the upbringing. Others may look at this couple and think why are they together? They don't care how people view them they have an understanding between each other. They view each other as someone they would want to have a family with. They are very giving towards each other the energy balances well they know the unspoken things that would make you smile. They fit well into each others families. This person can feel like your calm space, enjoying spending time together at home.

5th: They both love children and can want to have a family together. If they have pets they treat each others pets like their own. They see the beauty in each other and want show their partner off to the world. They introduce each other to a lot of new people blending into each others friends group really well. Power struggles can create tension because they could feel like the other person plots on how to have power over the relationship.Pluto person has a lot of control over the emotions of house person. House person may try to play it cool but pluto has a hold of them. Pluto person wants to lead the relationship but house person may not be okay with that. Public arguments could be familiar to them. It doesn't even have to be an argument but people can tell when they aren't on the same page. They can try to make each other jealous when there out together. Its exciting to see each other worked up. House person could want more public affection so the jealously feels reassuring. This connection could've started at some sort of get together or the first few times they were around each other there were other people present. They could embarrass each other in public flirting with someone in public in the lower natures. This connection feels very familiar to both people. They could feel like siblings not in weird way lol but just the way they were raised and how they think, its very similar to each other. They have alot of fun together. It takes both people back to childhood. This could've started as just friends then turned into something more.

6th: Friends to lovers type of vibe. This match could've been unsuspecting. Knowing each other for a while but just now deciding to give love a go. Theres a lightheartedness about this connection. Both people are just seeing where it goes without pressure or expectations. No expectations may not be the best thing though, it may keep these two in a cycle of unknowing. They can feel like they manifested each other but question if their ready for what they asked for. Self worth issues play a big role here. Theres changes that need to be made internally to make this connection work but one or both people are reluctant to change. Holding onto the past wounds from relationships. Making the assumption that everyone is the same. The energy in this connection can be unbalanced. Someone feels they aren't good enough for the other or thats implied by the other person. Routine are a topic of conversation, they could feel insecure about how they spend free time and feel the need to lie about what they actually do or feel uncomfortable about always doing the same things. On the flip side they can give each other better physical and mental habits, showing more efficient ways to get things done. Living a more healthy lifestyle and thinking more positive. They love spending the morning together getting ready together. The type to make sure you've ate and check in just to see how your doing. They show love by being reliable. This is the type of couple that would discuss what their gonna wear so their outfits are similar. They could have a busy schedule and have to plan time together. Meeting up could always feel so exciting because of the timing factor. Teaching each other how to be honest about your needs and expectations could be hard but pluto is in the 6th house for a reason.

7th: Pluto person wants to show house person off to everyone. They feel like they really got a catch and wants everyone to see how special house person is their very proud to be with them. They want to invest in each other, bossing up each others aesthetic and or finances. In the lower octave the masculine energy fears the feminine is attracted to them mostly because of the money or gifts. The masculine can have insecurities around their worth so they lead with money but then still feel unloved because they led with materials. Both people couldve came into the relationship with insecurities about the physical body they make each other feel confident and dissolve the previous thoughts. They want the same things in life, sharing the same values. Be aware of the promises you make not getting carried away in excitement and not being able to uphold it. Or vise versa the actions are more important than the words. They could've meet on social media or in a work setting. Theirs interest around what each other do for work. Something about the career is attractive to the other. They bounce ideas off each other and help further their career advancement. Maybe even working together. They don't mind putting pressure on each other to maintain a level of structure and refinement. They watch your social media pages fantasizing about the two of you together. Also something about the way this person dresses you either love or you just want to dress them yourself.

8th: At first they could've found it hard to completely give into this connection and avoid true intimacy. Serious commitment is important for them they aren't into flings, they do things with a purpose. They view the relationship from a practical standpoint and analyze how this will contribute to their lives and how much they are willing to give to make it work. When the bond is proven to be strong they want to share their resources. They can give too much though then build resentments about not feeling the energy is being reciprocated. A lot goes unsaid, trust issues and resentments are lurking in the shadows. On the stingier side pluto person doesn't want to share their success with house person or they want house person to jump through hoops for it. They love sharing information with each other. This couple can be a mystery to others. They dont share much about their relationship preferring to keep things private. They notice the friends their partner has that dont have their best interest at heart. Self esteem and codependency issues could show face. The arguments they have are intense. Triggering unspoken insecurities in each other. This relationship builds the confidence of each person. Your a safe space for each other without judgement. On the flip side its important to focus on your own identity and not get to caught up in what your partner thinks. Change because thats what you want to do. Learning to relax and go with flow will do this couple well. Except that everything cant be planned and controlled. This placement creates a solid foundation for a long lasting relationship.

9th: These two share a lot of experiences together. They've been a lot of places together, been seen in a lot of rooms together, everyone knows that these two are together. People cant take their eyes of these two wanting to be in their business. This placement really makes me think of youtube couples.Transforming each other preparing for the spotlight. They really boost each others popularity. They love to be seen out together but that makes sense because they get alot of attention. They share a lot of similar interest and love to combine ideas. An example would be two musicians making songs together. Wounds of hyper independence makes being available and being of service something that really brings them closer together. Traveling together is really looked forward to. Traveling also doesn't have to be physical, a lot of mental shifts happen in this partnership. You really get to witness the growth in each other. In the lower natures the ego wars are strong here. Both people don't wanna feel like their submitting to the will of the other. They make each other chase, a lot. Outside influences cause a lot of friction in this relationship. Other people could know when their at odds with each other. Both like to go back and talk to friends or the internet about whats going on. The arguments are PETTYYYYY. They affect each others self esteem alot.

10th: Proud of each others public image, the work ethic and goals align. These two make a good team they share alot of similar ideas so they naturally go towards the same direction. Creating a business together could be a good idea. They look very aesthetically pleasing together and both know this, using it to their advantage whenever they can. This connection could be stop and go or have taken a while to really get off the ground. It seems there was always something else taking attention away from growing the spark. The more dominant energy could subtly restrict how much the other person expresses themselves. Power struggles and feelings of having to fight to have your opinion heard may present but thats the perfect time for them to assert their own beliefs. Which will always be respected in any healthy relationship. Putting on a brave face when things might not be so well is something that attention might need to be brought too. You cant have support if your not honest about your needs. The relationship could be different behind closed doors than what they present to the public. An example is seeming serious in public and maybe not that affectionate but much more goofy and relaxed at home. When traveling together may be a time frustrations really appear. One person could me more relaxed with how they do things and the other could prefer to have a schedule and routine in place. They could also want to do the same things but at different times. They feel a responsibility over each other, they stand up for each other.

11th: There is a lot of love to go around. Friendships, familial relationships and business relationships are equally as important as intimate relationships to this pair. This is a very busy couple that has hands in many points they both have hobbies or responsibilities that take up a lot their time. Double dates would be really fun for them. Doing physical activity together really grows this bond as well. Beware of how much money your spending when together. Yall like to have fun first and consider cost second. Trying new things together is something that really brings this couple closer. They love surprises and spontaneous dates. Both people are very good at vetting out potential partners their very particular about who they show interest in. The fact that you two came together you take the union serious and both require the stability of a solid foundation. This started as a friendship then grown to become more serious. You didnt expect to meet this person when you did. Meeting through other people, spontaneously or online. The friend groups of these two are different they can also come from different cultures or have different upbringings. In the lower natures someone could want to much freedom, they dont want to put ''tittles'' on the relationship. Favoring partying and keeping the vibe light and friendly. Pluto person could try to use house person as a status upgrade. Like the gateway to other groups of people. Im sure they would just call that networking though lol. This relationship can lack a long term vision. One or both people can feel like they aren't worthy of a ''normal'' functioning relationship. Preferring to keep things spontaneous when their actually just running from fear of the unknown.

12th: This couple manifest success together easily, people are intrigued by them. They give power couple vibes. Something is very alluring that brings alot of attention the magnetism has plutoian qualities. Others could think they'd like to have a relationship like this one. Thats from the outside though. Both people know how to keep private matters private. I think of public figures that want to uphold a certain image. These two idolize or romanticize each other, ignoring the obvious red flags. They can become very codependent on each other for emotional fulfillment. If their not on good terms it messes the whole day up. Breaking up to make up. Loving the passion that comes with it. Balancing work and the relationship may be something that has to be worked out. The arguments are very intense and passionate. There personalities start to merge into one, they start really sound, look and act alike. They give so selflessly to one another. They have dedication and patience to get through the challenging times. Their spirituality is developed through their love for one another. Experiencing things they haven't in any other relationship. Truly changed for the better. They understand each other like no one else ever has. They've both experienced something that was very specific and that bonded them. Its the 12th house so you know i have to mention addictions. Yes, this could be actual addiction to a substance but it can be an addiction over the career, belief system or relationship. An area in this persons life gets way more attention than the others. The belief system of these two can be different or started different.

Songs: i put a spell on you- Alice smith, haunted- Beyonce, sycamore tree- Kali uchis, boomerang- Yebba, something about us- Daft punk

#astrology #12th house #astrology101 #8th house #astrologyfacts #astrologychart #astrologyzone #astro notes #pluto astrology #pluto aspects #synastry #astrology notes #pluto

[halinski]

.

#thats the thing isnt it #when you're used to enduring pain #when you're used to life being pain #when you're used to everything being complicated and harsh and unforgiving #then when things get hard you get tougher #when things start hurting you don't ask for help or get softer with yourself #you hunker down and start pacingg and snarling and snapping your jaws at everyonr #like the dog yesterday who came to us after collapsing bc her owner took her out for a bike ride in the blistering heat #she was growling at us and flashing her teeth as we tried to help her #and her owner was yelling at us and in the end took her home when she was halway stable instead of leaving her at least over night #but she wasnt an aggressive dog #she asked for belly rubs once shhe was halfway back to her normal self again #she just wasnt doing well and wasnt used to softness #the vet sent a report to authorities but they never really do anything #and thats just what life is like #life is pain #ignore me #i hurt my back and i didnt go into work today and i'm spiralling over it #i forgot my physio appointment over it #and the physiotherapist was like: i coulda helped you #and i want to growl at her that she isnt allowed to touch me and never want to see her again #so yeah #im in a moos much like the doggo yesterday #and still stuck with my toxic so called owners lmao #bc yes my parents have always thought of me as something they own

[katiifaetarot]

THE READING TODAY IS: What Reassurance You Need to Hear Right Now ˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

-short and (mostly) sweet messages

___________________________________________

___________________________________________

There are 3 piles and you will be picking through the picture right below this text!!!

___________________________________________

___________________________________________

✨️🧚🏽‍♀️please choose your pile and may your intuition and inner knowing guide you to the pile with the energy most suited for you and most suited to help you along your path at this current point in time, no matter what that looks like🧚🏽‍♀️✨️

PILE 1- Useful Tension

PILE 2- Both Strong and Delicate

PILE 3- Contemplate Your Gorgeousness

** sometimes ( most of the time ) i will pick up on multiple energies that need attention or want to be expressed during the reading so i ASK YOU TO UNDERSTAND THIS DURING MY READINGS:

depending on how the reader(YOU) chooses to look at the situation or however the situation resonates for the reader(YOU) and because this is a general reading;

⚠️you HAVE to be able to use your better discernment + better judgement skills to fully absorb the message and be able to do the necessary work to keep you on track for the future you WANT for yourself⚠️

___________________________________________

___________________________________________

OKAY PILE 1:

The pain, turmoil, obstacle(s), challenge(s), unwanted situation(s), etc-- you are going through right now; they're here to teach you how to use this lesson or difficult situation to your advantage and fully adapt to the harsh conditions being thrown at you! You cannot give up on yourself or your goals/dreams, its tough right now so you are able to utilize the lessons being taught to you at this very moment, later in life. You arent the only one going through something like this. Out of billions of people in the world, you GOT TO assume you're just another human going through another human expirence, like so many others, and yes while you may be learning different things or excelling in different places, you still are not alone pile1.

--sorry if it got harsh at the end, but i think the message of reassurance really would be to understand you are not alone so you can better assess YOUR personal situation from an objective perspective while understanding you are apart of millions IF NOT BILLIONS, of people who all go through something similar!!! So dont care so much and start utilizing this dark, negative, unwanted situation to YOUR benefit, and get yourself OUTTA THE DARK TIMES AND LOOK TOWARDS A BETTER FUTURE!!! dont get stuck in self-victimizing!!!!!

___________________________________________

___________________________________________

OKAY PILE 2:

There's a VERY clear duality to you pile 2. you know how to be soft and endearing, as well as tough and strong!!! You always know where you're headed even if you theoretically "feel lost" sometimes!!!! You have an innate understanding that you are just flowing with the wind and the answers will come to you when they and YOU are ready!! So keep going KEEP FEELING and keep being your most free flowing self!!! So many surprises await your willingness to recieve and innate mighty but gentle nature. Stay Saucy and Pretty Pile 2 ;)

___________________________________________

___________________________________________

OKAY PILE 3:

When was the last time you hyped yourself up pile 3? When was the last time you REALLY did a self care/self love day?? BECAUSE LET ME TELL YOOOUUU!!! YOU'RE ONE AMAZING HUMAN WHO HAS SO MUCH TO OFFER!!! YOUR ABUNDANT AURA IS JUST WAITING TO BE UNTAPPED BY YOU AND YOUR GORGEOUS SELF!!!!!!! You deserve so many good things pile 3🥺 so please dont miss out on opportunities because you lie to yourself and say you're not good enough for them or dont want to try because theres "competition."

What isnt for you, isnt for you; what is yours will come to you when you're open to receiving and willing to be in that gorgeous energy and attract!! Competition is EVERYWHERE!! so accept that and do your best!!! you got this!!!

___________________________________________

___________________________________________

I sincerely hope you received what you needed and released what you don't !! See you again soon!! Take it easyyy and just breathe and fllooowwww!!! you got this! byyeee~🧚🏽‍♀️✨️

**please let me know how I'm doing in any way you can! That is the easiest way to supprt me. Dont forget to Follow Me on Youtube and Tiktok for messages, guidance, and advice 🥺 🥹 🙏🏼

___________________________________________

___________________________________________

⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

**I AM NOT A MEDICAL OR HEALTH PROFESSIONAL; PLEASE USE YOUR OWN JUDGEMENT AND DISCERNMENT TO DETERMINE IF YOU NEED OR WANT TO SEEK PROPER HELP OR TREATMENTS FOR YOURSELF OUTSIDE OF TUMBLR OR SOCIAL MEDIA!!

***AND REMEMBER: your own free will is always present within you; which has nothing to do with me or ANYBODY else. I am NOT responsible for YOUR choices after YOU consume my content on ANY of my platforms.

⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

#tarot reading #tarot blog #tarotcommunity #tarotonline #tarot journal #pac #pick a card #pick a pile #witch aesthetic #spirituality #reassurance #cat tarot #angel numbers #short and sweet

[mournings-stars]

hopefully this isnt too much but how would the gals ((i mean all the hazbin hotel gals if you are willing)) react to you being ovverstimmed? likke the reader has autism and everything in the moment is too much for them how would everyone react and handle the issue? sorry if the spellingn sucks but as someone who has autism id love to see more of some around an autisic reader?

i rly love this ask!! thanks for taking time to chat with me ab it<3 i wrote from a mix of my experience with being overstimulated and some of what we chatted ab but here u go! i didn’t include all the girls but i hope u like :)

charlie

she has a pair of headphones ready for you whenever youre going somewhere where it might be too loud after a while

has a playlist of your favorite songs to help relax

doesn’t bug you, just asks if you want headphones and smiles when you’re shocked that she brought them

“i also made a playlist — or four — i really like this one because…” then she’d have to remind herself that she can over explain it later and handed over her phone

if you got irritable or didn’t want to talk she’d understand but she’d definitely hold your hand if you were okay with it (shes all about reassurance)

vaggie

she is very aware when things get to be too much for you

“do you wanna go?” if you nodded she’d gladly leave with you but if you said no she’d give you some other options since it can sometimes be hard to articulate what would help

she of course knows what helps you calm down the most, so she’ll give you those options and let you pick

you’re definitely trading in your waited blanket for her wings once she has them back

rosie

she can also tell when things are getting to be too much

say you go to one of cannibal towns many music nights, if thing are getting hectic she’ll have them tone it down before it gets to be too much

of course things can just come on (seemingly) out of the blue though, so whenever that happens she’ll take you home if you want to leave, make you both some tea after getting you your favorite blanket to wrap yourself in, and put some soft jazz on her old radio

if you’re a little snippy with her (i get extremely irritable when im overstimulated) she’ll back off, make sure there aren’t any harsh lights to bother you and check in later

emily

i hc that em probably gets overstimulated too at times being a younger seraphim and all that so she definitely knows how to help

if you’re walking down the promenade and she can tell you’re getting overstimmed, fidgeting, itching, just seeming overall uncomfortable, she’ll offer her headphones and if it’s okay she’ll put a wing around you to help you feel a little more secure

she’d definitely be the type to have every single option available so if you like to have something to do with your hands to help you relax, dont worry she has anything you could possibly want

definitely owns several weighted blankets so dont worry about that either

gives plenty of options but not too many at a time cause she knows that could be overwhelming

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel headcanon #hazbin hotel heaven #charlie hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel charlie #charlie x reader #hazbin charlie #charlie morningstar #hazbin vaggie #hazbin hotel vaggie #vaggie x reader #emily hazbin hotel #emily x reader #hazbin emily #hazbin hotel fanfiction #hazbin hotel emily #rosie x reader #hazbin rosie #hazbin hotel rosie #rosie hazbin hotel

[thechaoticplayer]

Hello, it’s good to see your request box is still open! If you’re comfortable with it, can I request doppio being so needy for his gf (reader) they he begs to eat her out and when he does, he doesn’t want to leave between her legs?

Author's note: THIS... THIS MAKES ME INSANE... TSKR... TY FOR THE REQUEST!

Summary: Needy Doppio wants you soooooo bad :[

Contains: nsfw content, pussy eating, needy asf doppio, established relationship, x fem reader, I actually put my whole pussy into this chat I love this kind of thing so much it isnt healthy

"Baby please," your boyfriend, DOPPIO DROPSCYTHE pleads with you, his hands covering your thighs as he towers over you on the bed. "I just really need it bad tonight..."

"Miss me that much? what happened to "hello, how are you?" Hm?" You tease, brushing your fingers across his knuckles. He nuzzles your neck with a low whine, making you laugh. "I'll let you after some begging. How about that?"

Doppio kisses your neck instantly, mumbling soft please's in your ear. He talks about how good it will make you feel, how good you taste to him, how you both needed a good time to let loose, how bad he misses you. Pio presses so close to you, like he was trying to get into your skin. His breaths were heavy and hot as his hands trace circles on your thighs.

"Please my love. Let me in between your legs I need it bad," Doppio says with puppy eyes at you, and you can't help but melt.

You look at him for a moment and sigh, shimmying out of your pants with a growing smirk. Your boyfriend watches with wide eyes, a blush across his face and a stupid grin. You remove your panties as well, revealing your glistening folds to him and you cross your arms with a raised brow.

"Go ahea-"

He's in between your legs the moment the word go leaves your lips. Your arousal already all over his cheeks as he dives into the 5 star meal he always says it was. Your legs thrown over his shoulders as he eats you out, and you immediately lean back on your hands for stability. Doppio sucks on your clit hard, causing you to grip his hair and grind into his face.

"Oh f-f-fuck," you stammer, the tight feeling in your stomach growing by the second. Doppio groans at the harsh tug, rutting against the edge of the mattress for some sort of relief.

His tongue flicks in and out of your entrance, teasingly, before going in, your gummy walls clamping around his tongue and demanding he doesn't leave. Pio had no intentions of doing so, his nose bumping against your pulsing clit as he spreads your legs wider for him.

"Taste so good," your boyfriend growls, devouring every inch of your cunt. Your moans only rile him up more, continuing his kitten licking and aggressive sucking. "Taste heavenly. Mm, I never wanna leave."

You pant, head tilted back and lips parted as your moans exit your chest. Your arms are shaking as you pressed your thighs around him. A thought of you suffocating Pio went out the window the moment he moans into your core, sending vibrations up into your stomach. It caused that knot in you to tighten just a bit more.

"Doppio, 'm close," you whimper, pushing yourself more into him. At this statement, Doppio's tongue leaves your entrance and goes to attack the bundle of nerves. You arch your back and let out a high moan of pleasure, cumming all over his lower face. Doppio gratefully laps it all up, licking your juices from your inner thighs and your puffy lips.

But he doesn't stop there. Pio also continued his assault on your pussy.

You stutter, trying to shove his head away from the sensitivity. "Doppio, I-I can't- no more!"

Doppio just whines into your pussy, his grip on you unbreakable as he slurps some more at your cunt. Tears well in your eyes as you beg him to stop, but turns out he's suddenly deaf. Your pretty moans spur him on as Doppio's tongue plunges in and our of you, tasting every inch of your core.

Your boyfriend doesn't even stop as he pushes a finger into your wet hole, and your walls squeezed onto his digit. It curls up at the right spot and you groan, tears running down your face because it was all too much.

"You're doing so well," Doppio praises. "You're such a pretty girl, so pretty and delicious, just wanna eat you out all day..."

Your body was all too aware of what he was doing to you, and as he added another finger in, you came again for the second time. Sobbing and blabbering about how much you wanted it to end, wanted it to keep going, how good you felt and how sensitive you were, just helped Doppio continue his assault on you.

Fortunately for you, this is only round one.

#chaotic.text #nijisanji #nijisanji en #vtuber #nijisanji smut #nijisanji x reader #nijien #doppio x reader #doppio dropscythe x reader #doppio dropscythe smut #xsoleil #xsoleil x reader #xsoleil smut #vtuber x reader #Vtuber smut

[mako-neexu]

"surely this time i will be normal for one day"

[suddenly remembers prison tower is supposed to end you bc goetia planned it but dantes took on the role of being your abbe faria and became your tiny light of hope in this prison of despair because he himself knows better than anyone how it feels to be an innocent soul, to be dragged and trapped in a life of despair, betrayal, and be casted away in a hell where madmen dont come out alive and so saves you by killing him, "the one who escaped the chateau d'lf", he's also summoned initially as a tool to kill you but dantes, initially being just a shadow, made ogawa heim because 'fuck u goetia' and caught feelings seeing guda's iron determination so fought alongside them and against the one who gave him a demon worm in his head. and just as he became your tiny light of hope in prison tower, you get to see him casually admit guda is his "destiny" and saw them as someone who is "radiant" after going through everything with them…like you know, a star. thats why both his np refer to guda in the new saint graph. because a star burns brighter than flames, more dazzlingly than fire that he himself is in awe of you and made a new alt solely because of you, inspired by you, even as he hurt himself by creating a new spirit origin, because his wish is solely for you to see the end of your journey and reach antarctica, because guda is a person -is a living human - who wants to see tomorrow and thus he split himself into two- or rather assigned himself and his other self in the singularity "count of determination (to bring about the 7 tribulations)" and as the "count of regret (you, his worry, who has to go through this harsh journey)". count of determination is the one who enacted the trials, because he is the spirit origin who is a ruthless murderer from his revenge story and thus must make sure guda goes through the merciless trials to go forward, yet count of regret is still worried all the same for guda considering the dangers of creating this world and with cagliostro around and other unpredictable variables, and in this ongoing journey thats why "black shadow" count is still on the look out for you. and in these trials he is both your ally and enemy that you must overcome because he wants!! you!! to move forward!!! even as you face your most trusted betray you, overcoming despair and hatred even as you drown in hopelessness seeing those you love die, overcoming his flames and as he extends a hand out and tempt you into a life where where you are a god of revenge, reaching an end that you hope for- a tomorrow that you want. (because we dont know what happened to the "real" dantes whereas dumas' version wrote that love extinguished his flames, and so left france behind with haydee. a fictional happy end that most likely didnt apply to the real dantes given his attitude to dumas and his version of the story since they never interacted again beyond dumas talking about writing his tale. )

an end that also isnt part of the famous Avenger, Count of Monte Cristo summoned to the grand order, only the popular interpretation/parts that people remember the most engraved in his spirit origin. and for him, this avenger, this part of his life where he is at his lowest who became your tiny light of hope in that prison tower, despite burning with eternal hatred chose love time and time again, save you, help you time and time again, because he doesnt want you to end up like him. one who has lost all things precious to you and so turning into a life of vengeance and blood, burning everything to cinders until you as well consume yourself, losing yourself in the process, becoming an empty shell, quietly dying as emptiness and quietness takeover the aftermath of those flames. you, as radiant as a star, don't deserve that kind of fate. you, his accomplice, his co-conspirator should never succumb to or have that kind of fate where only hate, sorrow and despair awaits you at the end nor does he want your journey to be at a standstill, idle, where you are helpless the more this story- this journey drags on and unable to move forward because of forces beyond your control.]

[through my teeth/clenches my fists] "oh. okay. so we're doing this now. okay."

#fate grand order #fgo #edguda #in my opnion www #feel free to correct me bc i typed this without stopping akwfnskdgh #cut also because i realize its ridiculously long #guda #edmond dantes #ordeal call chapter 2 spoilers

[akunya]

"a lending hand."

pairings: sonny brisko x m!reader

summary: oh no! im stuck and i cant get out and my big, sexy brother is home alone with me! whatever shall i do.. tw: INCEST, mindbreak, size difference, manipulation. NONCON/DUBCON, dacryphilia, RIMMING, degradation, dirty talk, feminization(?), etc. notes: this was a lovely commission from someone that requested more sonny-nii! i got a bit too into it and wrote way more than i was expecting. they gave me permission to share it with everyone, yay!

commission info is here , this fic is incredibly perverted so.. just a warning.

truly, honestly, from the bottom of your very heart — you didn’t mean to get stuck underneath the bed with your lower half sticking out like the most predictable homemade porno in history.

but, alas, you did.

you were stuck, and as embarrassing as it was to have another person see you like this, you needed help.

trying to reach for something underneath your bed was clearly the wrong choice. fingers stretching, eyebrows furrowed as you extended your arm as much as it could go. “..come.. on..!” you sighed in frustration, laying your head down and accepting your fate before the door creaked open.

“y/n? are you alright? i heard the bed creak—.”

sonny couldn’t finish his sentence, freezing at your doorway. “sonny! that’s you, isnt it?” his eyes raked over your poor, helpless little body. his breathing became ragged, licking his lips.

“oh.” was this.. a dream? his adorable little brother, the boy who invades his dreams every night, sprawled out and bent over for him? the blonde gulped, his body feeling warm. wearing those slutty little shorts you insisted on, you barely left anything to imagination for the poor man, the slim fabric showing a perfect outline of your ass. so innocent — so slutty.

clearing his throat, the eldest spoke up. “um, what happened, little bro..?” sonny tried to speak as innocently as he could. he started to move a bit closer, hovering over you eerily quiet.

you looked so small like this.. bent over on the floor, ass in the air. he knew that his stature compared to yours displayed a significant height difference, but this made his head spin. “i-i was stupid, tried to reach for something that fell behind my bed, but ended up stuck in this thing. i can’t seem to pull myself out, it’s too tight. do you think you could help?”

your room was met with an uncomfortable silence.

thoughts ran through sonnys head. “was this.. okay to do?” his inner consciousness fought relentlessly, eyes staring at the door then back at you. he shouldn’t— he couldn’t! you were his little brother, and sure, even if you were older now, that didn’t excuse him being a pervert! he should just help you out and excuse himself to his room like he always does, right? yknow, the right thing an older brother would do?

the breaking point, however, was when you had shimmied your hips, trying to find a position that was less painful on your knees. your shorts had angled themselves in a way that sonny had a full view of your dick, peeking through the fabric, small and innocent and inviting.

he needed to have you. now.

it felt like forever had passed, until you cleared your throat. “big bro? i asked if you could—“ your sentence was cut off by the harsh slap on your ass, emitting a surprised yelp from yourself as sonny sighed. yea, this was obviously the correct choice. the skin was already reddening from his rough hand, making you wince in discomfort.

“ive always wanted to do that.” his laugh was shaky, smiling to himself as his palm began to sting from the impact. his heart felt as if it would burst in his poor little chest, letting his other hand slap the other cheek. “ow!” you wailed this time, head bumping against the bottom of the mattress as you tried to instinctively get away. but you couldn’t — you were trapped in sonny’s grasp. sonny was strong. he had to be, given his line of work and title, but you never really learned the true extent of it until today. the officer couldn’t help himself, fingers grabbing onto the waistband of your shorts and pulling everything off, your bottom half exposed.

“god, look at you, little bro. your body is so perfect. we’re you waiting for this the entire time?” you stood silent, speechless at what was unfolding. even if you had shook your head ‘no’, sonny wouldn’t care, quickly giving into his own perverse desires. of course you did this on purpose — why wouldn’t you? it was too perfect of a moment not to be planned out beforehand. the slutty little outfit, your parents not being home until tomorrow, and sonny having the weekend off. how considerate of you, to think of your creepy older brother like this. your ass looked so inviting, the blondes mouth started to water. his intrusive thoughts won, shuffling closer until his mouth was mere centimeters away from your little hole.

“wait, s-sonny, you can’t!” you tried to squirm away, sonnys hands gripping your thighs to keep you in place; not that he needed much help, with the mattress sandwiching you. moaning, your toes curled in pleasure as your brother began making out with your asshole, groaning and huffing behind you. it felt beyond dirty, your sounds only spurring him further, tongue delving past the tight rim of muscle as he closed his eyes in pure bliss. it was every perverts dream, after all.

his skilled tongue slurped obscenely in your hole, your cock pitifully leaking tiny spurts of precum from how dirty this all was. it felt humiliating. having your ass eaten as a guy was one of the least things you’d expected to ever happen to you. sonnys face was flushed, eating as if he was a starved man, lips and chin glossy with spit. everytime the man pulled back, he just delved right back in, your resolve stripping away with every flick of his tongue. it was so sloppy, some of his saliva even dripped down your taint, a trail dripping onto the floor. the older man groaned, furiously pumping.. was that his cock? fucking into his hand, sonny gave one last smooch to your hole, pulling away with a sigh. your cock twitched, whining at the loss of touch as your hole fluttered around nothing. you were aching, core nearly on fire with how badly you needed him — someone, anything to fill you up, as shameful as it made you feel.

for better or for good, the blonde was impatient. smirking, sonny popped open a small bottle of lube, the click making your heart drop. was he..?

“b-big bro, this isn’t funny anymore, okay..? just help me out of here, please?” you spoke up, voice shaky without a single threat in them. i mean, what could you do? you were in sonnys hands now, and no one was coming to help you for hours, lower half exposed and ready for the claim. sonny hummed in response, a hand tenderly caressing your red skin, thumb cheekily slipping into your hole.

“of course ill help you out, y/n. i never said i wouldnt.” sighing in relief, you wiggled your ass, trying to squirm and get yourself out. unfortunately, in sonnys twisted mind, it looked as if you were teasing him even more. he took his thumb out of your ass, instead teasing the gaping hole with the tip of his cock. practically growling, his hand spanked the soft skin of your behind, shuffling to get even closer to you.

fucking slut. “..i didn’t say id let you out right now, though. be good for me, won’t you?” you didn’t even have time to process sonnys words before he slipped inside you, gripping your ass as he let out a loud moan.

“fuck, oh god..” the officer cursed under his breath, eyes closed from how blissful your walls were clenching around him. you sobbed softly, at least thankful that being stuck here meant sonny didn’t have to see how pathetic you looked — not like it would deter him from his goal or anything. “you’re so tight, i can — hah! barely move, fuck!”

the squelch of your lubed ass sucking his cock in made you cringe, sonny losing himself in the erotica of it all. taking off his shirt, he pulled out, granting you a moment of relief before he slammed back in again. “s-sonny!” you tried to get up again, hitting your head hard against the metal frame of the mattress, but sonny didn’t care. he couldn’t find it in himself to give a damn. you were so smaller so tight, so pliant in his hands. the blonde showed no mercy, pistoning into your poor body with little grunts of appreciation.

full. you felt so, so full. it wasn’t a surprise sonny had a big cock to match his big stature, but god, you swore you could feel him in your tummy as he abused your little hole. before you knew it, you were moaning now, desperate little whines of pleasure as sonny rammed in that spot that made you see stars for the first time in your life. “b-big bro.. slow.. nnh..!” sonny chuckled, spanking you again to add to the other countless times today, cock twitching inside of you. the wet plap of skin against skin did nothing to help your brain, slowly turning into mush with every stir of the blondes dick.

“you like this, don’t you, y/n? getting fucked like a girl? yea?” you whined loudly, the coil in your stomach only growing tighter and tighter because of sonnys filthy words. you were positive you wouldn’t be able to sit after this, from the way the older man fucked you as if he wanted to make your insides remember his shape. drooling, your legs were wide open, wanting more of the sickly pleasure he was drowning you in. “sonny, o-onii, i cant—!”

god, maybe sonny should’ve pulled you out from underneath this mattress. he licked his lips, so badly wanting to shove his tongue in your mouth, trap you in a mating press like you deserve. hissing from how tight you clenched around him, sonny extended his hand to squeeze your cock, relishing in the loud cry you let out. “come on then, little bro! i know you can do it. cum for me.” his voice dropped low, his pace unforgiving on your poor little body as you came with another yell, thick seed pooling below. seeing you cum all because of him was enough to send the pervert into his own frenzy, quickly cumming after you. his load spilled deep inside, sighing in relief as you groaned.

your body fucking ached, bruised and sore everywhere. you didn’t even have the strength to keep your knees up, only held by sonnys strong hands as he coo’ed at your pitiful state. don’t worry, little one — your big brother would take care of you all weekend long.

“ill let you out now, okay? then, we can go for round two.”

#sonny nii.. i love you.. i wrote half of this listening to vods lol #male reader #male reader blog #male x reader #x male reader #sonny brisko x m!reader #sonny brisko x male!reader #sonny brisko x reader #sonny brisko #noctyx x m!reader #noctyx x male reader #noctyx x y/n #noctyx x reader #noctyx #my fics.. #commish fics..

[wannabelife]

ok how about DK & p for pillow talk?

idk if you were the person who sent p & u before when the special card ended already, but either way, i will make this one with that in mind !

he was so exhausted when you saw him getting home earlier. you planned something for tonight but you just feel like you shouldn't. he's tired.

he proved you wrong, saying there's always something you could do, that he would never waste sex with you. you got so heated, maybe he deserves a reward, being the one treated for once. you got down on your knees, stroke, and suck him until he was fully hard, tip red and vein popping out his prominent length.

only when you press him onto the bed, sitting on his thighs with your back and ass facing him, that he dares say anything "my baby wants to be in charge today, isn't it? so pretty" he shoots, caressing your sides, pushing your ass to his member as you gasp, humming in response.

you get up, handing his cock, spreading it on your folds, teasing your center, as you get wetter each stroke, preparing yourself "that's right, use me all you want" he encourages.

you press his head to your entrance, feeling it burn open, you keep sliding down slowly before bottoning out. your head thrown back, eyes close as you ajust to him. your pussy keeps clenching and he cant supress a grunt.

"you did so good, baby" he praises before feeling you get up to thrust back in "fuck!" he tightens.

you repeat the same movements, picking up your pace each poud. the sounds of skin slapping starting to easily be heard. his view of your ass shaking in each thrust makes him want to look at your titties bouncing too "so dirty, my pretty good, fucking me so good, you dreamed about it the whole day, didn't you?" he says as you moan, your back slightly arching.

he hands your waist, helping you ride him with his grip "i bet that's true. might even have used those fingers just thinking about it, isnt it?" he says again and you clench around him, his dirty mouth doing no good to you

"wanted you all day" you moan out.

"fuck, look at me" he demands and you doesn't think twice, slipping out briefly to sit back facing him now.

he hands his length to your entrance again before you sit back, taking the same pace as before, granting his unknown wish to see your titties as he moans staring at your form.

"go on, cum on my cock, i know you want to" he leads you, your insides tightening as you chase his lips. your mouth meeting in a heated, messy kiss, as you moan and whimper.

"im- im close, kyeomie" you say, your forehead pressed to his and before you know, he is handing your waist and fucking you back. his harsh thrusts, making you see stars, reaching further into you. a few more and you're cumming, he moans feeling like cumming too

"so good, so perfect, fuck!" he says before slipping out, his cum spreading in your belly and breast as you both try to catch your breaths.

#wannabelife inbox #seventeen #svt smut #seventeen fanfic #svt scenarios #dk fanfic #dk smut #dk scenarios #svt fanfic #svt ff

[thatturtleleon]

TFP Autobots and how they comfort others

Optimus Prime:

I think he can have a very comforting vibe to him when he wants to, for a lot of the autobots he's considered an older brother figure, father figure, and overall a trusted adult figure to speak with

For younger people such as bumblebee, smokescreen and the kids, he gives soft smiles and reassurance if something is troubling them

Optimus isn't big on physical touch but he'll put a hand on one's shoulder as his main way of comforting them or calming them down

For a bit older characters, like arcee and bulkhead, he comforts them the same way but a bit more maturely if that makes sense? Like he won't sugarcoat anything around them, but he won't be harsh or anything

Ratchet is definitely someone Optimus feels like he can let his guard down around, so that means the same goes for ratchet

Optimus knows the old bot and how he sometimes feels he isnt enough, so optimus makes sure to reassure ratchet and remind him that he is an important part of the team, and family

Overall, his main way of comforting people is reassuring words and the 'hand on the shoulder' thing dads do lol

Arcee:

Arcee is a great listener, and lets people rant to her to get things off their chests

We see her comfort Miko when Bulkhead was injured; both of them sat up top while Arcee reminded Miko that closing yourself off from everyone wouldn't help the situation

Based off of this, I think that Arcee is also very good at giving advice when trying to comfort people

She'll listen, and then give her thoughts on the situation

She keeps it real too, doesn't matter if it's Miko, Bulkhead, Bee, etc., she won't sugarcoat things

When Raf got hurt, we see Arcee sternly exclaiming to Bee to keep his emotions in check

She's been through a LOT, so she understands being angry, scared, feeling helpless

But she uses those experiences to help others get through tough situations

Bumblebee:

I think Bumblebee's way of comforting people would be physical touch, since he's not able to express himself through words very well

This involves a pat on the back if one of his friends are feeling down or disappointed, a hug if it's a bit more serious, and just things like that

Spending time with them would be a big way of Bee trying to cheer someone up too

For example, if Raf had a bad day, Bumblebee would take him for a spin around Jasper (Also I believe it's canon that they go out and play with Raf's little racing car and that's just the cutest shit ever I love them sm)

He's picked up some traits from Optimus, so when Bee got his voice back he probably tried a more "Optimus" approach to comforting people, but overall he does his absolute best to cheer up and help whoever needs it

Bulkhead:

(ignore the pic being rly small lol)

I honestly don't see enough love for this big guy

I'd say he would be one of the most comforting people to be around

If it's someone he knows really well, so pretty much anyone in team prime, he's gonna do his absolute best to help them out with whatever's bothering them

He may not always have the right words though

So I think that, similar to Bumblebee, he'll stick mainly to physical touch, and Bulkhead would try to distract the person too

Like if Miko was upset about something, he would put on some music she really likes to get her mind off of it

However, people like Arcee probably wouldn't want a distraction, or just can't handle any distraction at the moment

That's when Bulkhead will listen and give any advice of his own, as well as hug whoever's feeling down (if they're ok with it)

Ratchet

He doesn't care. (he cares very much and wants to help)

Ratchet's just not the best at expressing it, he'll comfort others in subtle ways

If one of the humans were noticeably in a bad mood, Ratchet might start a conversation with them and slowly ease into the topic of whatever's upsetting them

He's definitely not big on physical touch, so I'd say his main way of comforting a person is talking it out and listening

He would offer solutions too

For the bots, I think it depends on the situation; if one of them were having some sort of flashback, or severely injured, Ratchet would immediately jump to comfort/help them

However if it's a more milder situation, he'll talk it out with them or just simply leave it to someone who's a bit better at this type of stuff

One of the ways we see him comfort someone in the show is the episode where something was up with Bumblebee, so Ratchet had to pick Raf up from school

We see him be pretty silent at the beginning but he eventually says, "Wanna ride with the sirens on?"

Even if he normally was against it, Ratchet's willing to break through his "I don't care" front he puts up, so he can help those he cares about most

#can u tell i love ratchet lmao #tfp #transformers prime #tfp hcs #tfp analysis #tf prime #transformers #tf #tfp ratchet #tfp bulkhead #tfp arcee #tfp bumblebee #tfp optimus prime #tfp how the autobots comfort others #tfp autobots #macaddams #maccaddam

[iouinotes]

Heroic love (part 4) | Luke Castellan

pairing: Luke Castellan x female!reader

show: Percy Jackson and the Olympians

warnings: betrayal, dark romance, no verbal consent, angst, smut MINORS DONT INTERACTE

summary: Luke finds out your plan and you give in. After all, it is better to be with him than with the monsters that suround you.

authors note: The reader joins Luke rather unwillingly, even though she still loves him. I just want to say up front that Luke's threat at the end is not meant serious. He would never do something like that to her. He only does it so that she realizes that there is no other way than to join him. If it's too dark, I'm sorry... @qwertydddddddddd wanted to be tagged, so I hope you enjoy it <33

Sometimes you think to yourself, this is real love. I'm gonna marry this person. I will spend my life with them, building a home and a family.

Well thats the regular scenario, I mean for the people who are regular. Not demigods.

And you see, even though we dont have an easy life, fighting monsters, losing friends, being scared and anxious all the time, that some bad evil guy suddenly wants to rule the world- we live. Because we have to and because we have each other.

So, for me, I was prepared for it to become harsh. I always knew my life would be like sitting on a rollercoaster, never having the chance to exit.

But I found comfort in this reality. I would imagine being on this attraction, but holding onto something that grounds me. Someone that gives me strengh, so I don't lose myself.

For a long time, I held hands with Luke.

Then of course, something did go terrible wrong, as if they goddess Aphrodite wanted to watch an exciting, action packed romance movie, with the plot twist of I-hate-to-love-you-because-you-left-me trope. Something like this.

Well, I think the movie sucks. In the last months, everything was just not right- Luke leaving camp to join Kronos? Betraying everyone and kidnapping me? Showing up here, messing with me and then holding my own dagger to my throat? (Deja vu)

No, that just isnt what I Imagined to happen in the future. I didnt want my boyfriend to turn into the bad guy, who we swore to fight.

But now I guess, thats up to me. At least some part of it.

"I think Luke ist turning into Darth Vader." Sometimes I'm not sure whats going on in Percys head.

"I never heard of this monster?" Annabeths parents are so wrong for not watching Star Wars with her.

"Guys, after we discussed this, you can have your movie night. But please, let's focus." My voice sounds harsher than I intended, so I immediately feel bad about it.

"Sorry, it's just very complicated. I want to know what our next steps are, what we are planning to do with this- situation." I don't know how else to call it.

"We need information. Who is the spy? What are Kronos plans? Where will he attack? Who joined him? So many unanwered questions." Chirons voice sends a shiver down my neck. He's right, but how do we achieve it?

Percys gaze unnerves me and when I turn my head to meet his eyes, he immediately shakes his head.

"I am not letting you alone with him this time. Nope." I sign, conflicted how I would want to deal with this.

All eyes are on me and when I turn to them, I try to explain my plan. But I cant even finish my second sentence and already everyone seems to be against it.

"We cant let him out!"

"He will kill us!"

"His army is already searching for him, he would escape!"

Annabeth raises her hand and the voices calm down. As she looks at me, I sense her own doubts about the situation.

"They are right. How do you know he would trust you? Could you convince him?"

I nod my head, ignoring my doubts.

"I can."

⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️

The moon shines beautifully in the sky, but it helps nothing to calm down my nerves. Im so stupid, why did I thought I could pull this off?

"Youre sure, you want to do this? You dont have to." Percy's standing next me, as always trying to comfort me.

"He will believe me. I always had dreams, where I thought he-" I need a moment to finish my sentence.

"-died. That he got hurt or is in pain. When I had this sort of dream, I would always sneak out of my cabin and came to him. I would walk into his cabin and he somehow always knew what happend. He would tuck me in his bed, letting me cry and cuddling me. Resurring me that everything is going to be okay, that he will live. That was always my biggest fear, that he would die and I would be helpless to do anything against it. He knows that."

We stand in silence for a moment.

"If you need me, I will be there. Just be careful." I smile at him.

I take a deep breath and go trough the doors, seeing that the only light he has, is a small lamp on the ceiling. I quicken my pace so he can hear me coming. When I stand in front of his cell, he is already on his feet. He looks alarmed.

"What-" his t-shirt is wrinkled and his eyes are sleepy. My breath catches and I don't even have to pretend to be confused and afraid, standing in front of him alone in the dark is enough.

The bars are the only thing that separates us.

At first I don't say anything, I just look at him with watery eyes. And just like I said, he knows it. He always knows.

"Another nightmare?" His voice is so gentle, it makes me remember the old days when everything was good. When he took me in his arms and wiped the tears from my cheeks.

I just nod, I don't think my voice is stable enough yet.

I have to play the role, I can do it. He has to believe me.

I slide down the wall and put my head in my hands, all the despair and pain I've been carrying for weeks suddenly coming out of me. I'm crying so hard that I'm almost afraid of waking up the others.

"Shit, princess- what can I do? Let me help, please." He sounds so desperate and it's only now that I realize, that I don't actually have to act. Because my tears are real.

"Y-you ruined everything! And I'm still s-so scared that something h-happens to you" I meet his gaze and see the remorse in his eyes. His heart hurts too.

"I didn't want something like that to happen- please, darling. Come here." Sniffling, I stand up. My knees feeling weak and unsteady. If I go in there now, I won't be able to defend myself properly.

“You hurt me, I shouldn’t even be here. You're an idiot, Luke. I hate-" but I can't bring myself to say it. I cant say that I hate him. Because I don't, at least not yet.

"I know, believe me. I hate myself too. Only your belief in me has always held me together." He grips the bars, I see the inner conflict within him.

"But you won't change. You've never been able to do that well." I know I'm right and he knows it too. Silence surrounds us.

"Let me hold you. Just for- a few minutes. Please. I can't stand seeing you like this. You've always been the sunshine in my life. I don't want my sun to be obscured."

The key jingles in my hand and I look at it uncertainly.

"I won't hurt you, never again, I promise. I also got an anklet. I can't escape." His eyes look so honest. I'm feeling nervous, my heart is beating way too fast.

I put the key in the lock and open the door, freezing in my movements for a moment. What am I doing here? But then I hear his voice and I know why.

“It’s not that comfortable on the floor, but you can sit on my lap." I close the door.

As I move towards him I see how thin he has become and how brown his eyes still are.

Slowly, he raises his hands and when I stand in front of him he puts them around my waist. My knees buckle and I sink carefully onto his lap. My hands rest uncertainly on his shoulders, then moving down to his neck. Playing with the strands of his hair, lost in thoughts.

His face is right in front of mine, both of our breaths are uneven. His hands linger on me, holding me tight to him. Warmth fills my chest as I look into his eyes.

"You're so beautiful. So, so beautiful." A sob tries to escape me, as I do something, I always loved. I put my head in the crook of his neck and wrap my arms around him.

He holds me for a few minutes, stroking my back and whispering soothing, sweet nothings in my ear.

Once I've calmed down, I'm basically lying on top of him and can hear his heartbeat. It's almost soporific.

"Luke?" my voice is calm.

His head turns to me. "Yes?"

"I...I want to be with you. I don't care how or- or where. I just know that I can't live without you." I see his eyebrows furrow.

"You dont mean-" I am silent. Just looking at him, sitting up a little, straddling him.

"I need you. I tried not to need you. But it's out of my control, nothing helps to ease the pain. Only you, only you matter."

Is it the truth if the words escape me so easily?

His hand finds my cheek and I lean into his touch.

"We're the only ones that matter. We will get through this, together and united. You don't have to fight my darling, you just have to be by my side." His hand around my waist pulls me towards him, the other one, he continues to lay on my cheek. Caressing the skin, drawing invisible heart-shapes.

Then his lips meet mine and my eyes flutter shut. The kiss so intoxicating, that I forget for a moment my real intention. Forget why I'm participating in this madness.

As he pulls away from me, I hear his whispering voice.

"You won't betray me, right? You won't do that to me?" He tugs on my hair, ever so slightly, to get my attention.

"No, Luke. I won't." Lie.

The key in my hand is no longer idle as I remove his shackles carefully.

"Then princess, let's get out of here." I slowly get off his lap, but before I stand up, he lifts me up in his arms.

"I promise you that I will never hurt you again. You deserve only the best." As cliche as it is, he carries me out of the cell, which isnt locked anymore.

He lets me down outside and breathes in the fresh air. It's still night, maybe 4 a.m. Everything is quiet.

His hands cup my face and place several kisses on my skin.

"You are incredible, I knew you would join me. For real this time." He takes my hand and intertwines our fingers. I don't see Percy anywhere.

"Let's go. I know where my troops are stationed. Nobody will notice that we're gone until it's too late."

⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️

Joining Kronos' army was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life, and that includes keeping the truth from Luke.

That I'm a spy for the camp, better hidden than anyone else ever could. No one would accuse or suspect the leader's girlfriend, because everyone can see how much I love him.

After all, it's the only reason I'm tolerated here. Because Luke would kill anyone who even came near me. He has already done it to a dragon lady who was too pushy and even when I tried to stop him, he showed no mercy.

Because he can't afford to do that, if he shows that he has a heart, it will be taken away from him.

Every day it is torture to witness this evil, to help maintain cover, to save my friends.

And every day I feel worse, because I lie to Luke. But it is the only way. I cannot help in the camp, if my heart is somewhere else. Here, with him, my thoughts are not always here, but my heart is.

At least it's enough for me to function. When Luke isn't distracting me.

When I wake up that morning on the Princess Andromeda, it is still quiet. In the presence of these monsters, I have not been able to sleep well for months. Even the dreams I have, make me wake up in the middle of the night and the only thing that calms me down is Luke's touch.

His fingers gently stroke my exposed skin, and as I turn my head and look at him, I see an emotion in his eyes, I've only recently noticed. There is a desire in his gaze, as if he wanted to consume my entire being, to have me just for himself.

My voice, my body, my thoughts, my feelings. Simply everything. He wants it all to be his.

"I wish I could erase every bad dream you have and send whoever is responsible for it to burn in hell. It should scare me that you make me think like that, but if I'm honest, it doesn't. Are you scared?" His eyes look into mine.

Slowly, my fingers intertwine with his. "Not when you're with me."

The next thing I notice is his lips on mine. The way his hands grip my hips and pull me onto him.

He leans towards me, his lips caress my ears and I hear his whispering voice. "Every day I hear one my followers talking about you. That they want to have you, to decorate your beautiful body with scars, with their initials." I freeze at his words, wanting to pull away and look at him, but he holds me tight. Makes me continue to listen to his voice.

"They want to see you bleed, to alternate between pain and pleasure when they push their cocks into you. Do you like that? That you are so desired? That you turn everyone's heads, when you go by and they start wanting to see my head roll? To get close to you, huh?" I want to shake my own head, but he holds me even tighter.

"Do you know how hard it is not to execute every single one of them? Do you know that? I would, if I could. I would kill every single one of them, in front of you, so that everyone knows that you belong to me. Do you understand? No one will speak to you anymore, because your voice is mine. No one will look at you, because your sight is mine. You keep your hands to yourself, no more help with injuries, I don't care if they die. Your hands only touch me."

As I start to sqirm, he leans back, keeping his hands on my hips until a finger strokes my cheek.

"No one will ever kiss you except me. And anyone who even thinks about fucking you, I will let die in battle. You may think my loyalty is to Kronos, but it is to you. My beautiful girl. Now think carefully about who you are pledging your loyalty to."

When his eyes look into mine, I fall silent. Then, even though I try not to, my voice trembles.

"What do you mean? I'm loyal to you, Luke."

His hands caress my skin, examining how the sun shines on me. I'm only wearing one of his T-shirts and my panties. His hands, stroke my bare thighs.

His eyebrows rise, slowly his fingers wrap around my panties, pulling them down until I am revealed to him. My heart is pounding so loudly in my chest, that it feels like it's about to give up. I hold my breath as he places the tip of his cock at my entrance.

What am I doing here?

"I think you're not being completely honest with me, princess. Let's try again. Who are you loyal to?" As he slowly enters me and his hands hold my hips, I moan. I lay my head back for a moment and enjoy the stretch, feeling his hands slide under my shirt and stroke over my stomach, to my breasts and to my neck.

"Luke, what's going on? I'm here with you, I'm-" But I can't finish my sentence as he plunges into me with a violent jerk, right up to the edge. My eyes roll back.

"These sweet lies that come from your lips. Of course you are here physically, but with the mind? Oh no, while I fuck you, your thoughts are on Camp Halfblood. On Jackson. Can you believe it?" His hands push my hips down until I am connected directly to him and can feel every inch inside me. I almost melt as one of his hands presses into my lower back and I move even closer to him.

When I try to answer him, my voice is a mixture of horror and pleasure. "Luke, that's not true. I only want you, I'm on your side- ahh-" Faster than I can react, he thrusts into me. Once, twice. So hard and ruthless that he hits the spot inside me, that makes me see stars. I can't concentrate.

"How I wish you would tell the truth. There's nothing to be ashamed of, sweetheart. Admit it, I already know. My girlfriend is the traitor. Behind my back, she talks to the person I hate the most and yet, she sits on my lap and rides my cock. What would Percy say about that?"

His hand wraps around my neck and holds me tight, his hips keep pounding into me and even though my brain tells me to stop, my guard is down. I want this.

"How-" But when I want to ask, he pushes me onto him again. So fast, too hard, it almost hurts, but it also feels so good.

"I have my eyes everywhere. It took me a while to figure out how to deal with it, how to deal with you. But I found a good solution. After all, Percy lets you be here, without cover, without protection. Hoping I wouldn't find out that you were passing on information. That I wouldn't hurt you."

His last sentence makes me tense up, but even though his face twists in amusement for a brief moment, he doesn't stop talking.

"Your pussy won't save you either. And since I have given you my word, I will not harm you. I found a better punishment. A choice."

He suddenly stops moving and I almost cry, wanting to move myself, but he takes my face in his hand, tightly. Focusing all attention on him.

"Either you stop your underhanded loyalty to Jackson immediately and serve me, or I will make the wishes of everyone behind this door come true and you will be used like a beautiful, little doll. From each one of them, I assure you. But after that, you won't be so beautiful anymore."

Tears well up my eyes, whether it's from the tight grip he's holding on me or from his words, I can't tell. And I'm scared, it feels like I'm being buried alive. With no prospect of ever being able to breathe or be free again.

Without me saying anything, he starts moving inside me again, letting my hips sink onto his. I breathe in loudly.

"Come on, move. Your choice. It's either my cock or anyone else's."

When I look at him, the person I once loved has disappeared. It's like looking at a stranger.

My heart feels like it's been stolen and in the back of my mind I realize, that I should have never gone with him.

But then I close my eyes, put my hands on his shoulders for support and sink down onto him. Again and again, even stronger. Until my thighs shake and tears run down my cheeks. Until I hear Luke's quiet voice again.

"If you think you are strong enough to be like me, treacherous, cold-hearted and ruthless, then I have to disappoint you. Your heart will be soft forever unless the world hardens it. I will protect you for that, princess. Forget camp halfblood, you only serve me now."

His lips are hot on my skin, a strong contrast to my heart, which feels like it's made of ice.

And when I receive the next secret sign from Annabeth a few days later, I ignore it.

#luke castellan #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #percy series #percy pjo #camp half blood #x reader #smut #fanfic #betrayal #angst #bad ending

[asiairo]

no thoughts just plug jean

black coded reader, afab reader , any prns (i dont think i used any)

plug!jean is definitely a at home dealer , he has a whole separate house just to deal out of just so nobody knows where he lives.

plug!jean is really public with yall relationship, he wants everyone to know that y/n is his future wife , babymama etc

plug!jean is also the type to spoil the shit outta you. You dont have to ask him twice for anything cause he do it/buy it the second you ask.

“Jeann” you say while scrolling on instagram while laying side ways on his lap. “Look at this purse isnt it cute? It comes in like 3 colors.” You say flashing ur phone towards his face causing him to wince a little. “Yea it is, How much is it?” He asked while facing his attention back the tv. “$250.” You say while sitting up and looking towards him. He reaches in his gray sweatpants and pulls out his wallet. He looks at a few cards then hands you a heavy black card. “Order them, all the colors if u want ma.” You wrap ur arms around his neck and shower him in kisses all over his face , smiling and giggling. “I only want the one color.” You saying as his chuckles and grabs ur hips placing him on top of you.

nsfw😳 (mdni)

plug!jean is a FREAKKK , especially when he high enough. He will have you shaking from multiple orgasms .. So many you lost fucking count

if anyone were to walk into your well decorated pink room all they would hear was slapping noises and the wettest noises coming from you. You and jean been going at it for hours. He couldn’t get enough of your cute fucked out face and he rammed into u, going fast and then REALLLYYYY slow just to tease you. “Jean stop being a teasee.” You say slurred as jean goes in and out following a slow pace with a smirk on his face. To add on to that, he rubbing harsh circles on your poor puffy clit. “My baby wants to get fucked hard doesn’t she? well your going to have to show me how bad you want it baby.. Just like u showed me how much you wanted that purse.” He says as he flips you over so that your on top of him. “Ride this dick and ill buy you the matching belt hm?” He says whilst grabbing the fat of ur hips , helping you go up and down. You steadied yourself on his chest, grinding hard on him and occasionally bouncing up and down. He stares at ur twisted face and puffy brown and pink lips that has the nastiest moans coming out of them and lets out the dirtiest moan u have ever heard. “Im cumming baby.” he says as he wraps you in a bear hug pounding into you releasing hot sticky ropes of cum inside you. He takes his dick out of you and gently laid you onto ur bed , tucking himself back in his sweats and going to get a towel to wipe you off. After he gets done he puts you to under the covers and cuddles you until u both fall asleep

#anime smut #aot smut #jean smut #jean x y/n #black!reader #black coded reader

[zeltqz]

niyaaaa do u have any tips for people who wanna get into fic writing? 👀

i don’t really get how the whole posting format for fics works on here tbh 😭 and like your info area it’s so cool

YEAH OFC!! btw dm me your username so i can follow and support you <3

tip 1- the posting format isnt that hard to get used to actually its just you create a tumblr text post and then copy and paste your fic onto it, add the tags and stuff then post it. if you want to add banners, headers and stuff to make it look better then go ahead, just add images to the text post

tip 2- the info area is the same as above, just add pictures of your choice etc to the text post, add your information, name, age, fav things etc and then to link posts to your post, highlight where u want the link to go, then copy the link of the post u want linked then press the hyperlink that looks like two chains linked together when you highlight the text if that makes sense? sounds like a lot but its rlly not i promise haha

tip 3- always type your fics on other apps like word or google docs since they have an auto save feature!! i dont reccomend typing your fics on tumblr since one if the app crashes, it doesn't automatically save your work so everything you wrote will get deleted (some versions of tumblr do have autosave, my laptop has it but my phone and iPad doesn't, so i dont rely on it)

tip 4- idk if you want tips on actual fic writing or just how to get your fics onto tumblr but ill help you with that anyway. with me when i write fics i always imagine it out in my head. theres some of my fics where i just went with the flow and wrote wgatever came to mind and those are the fics i hate the most because they dont rlly make sense to me. theyre always so random and it just seems rushed and bad.

i picture my fics like a scene in my head and whatever i want the character to do, think, say or feel i write that shit down asap. i use other online sources to help get more descriptive like the emotion theasurus <- honestly one of my favourite things to use ever, they have so much body language to use for every emotion in the damn book

dialogue is also something i find difficult. i've improved i personally feel like but its still hard for me especially if im writing a new character. i never want to make the character seem OOC so i do lots of research before hand. i normally use the wiki to read up on a characters personality.

for example i'll use ran for this since he's like 99% of my account lmao. in the wiki, he's described as "naturally whimsical toward others which makes him inscrutable" though ran doesnt have many scenes in the manga (which i hate bc i love him sm) its impossible to actually write him down to a tee so i use that naturally whimsical description to make him playful, charismatic, carefree etc, going off what little information i have with him.

getting a characters personality down is what can make or break a dialogue. for me when im reading a fic of a character and their dialogue is so OOC it puts me off and i dont even wanna read. so i apply my same fic icks to myself and think if I don't like seeing this and that in a fic, why would I incorporate those in my fics and have ppl get put off it if they have the same fic icks as me?

hope that makes sense!!

tip 5- dont rush yourself at all. i used to rush a few of my fics and i just ended up hating it so much after and fought bck the urge to delete them so many times but then i'd see people's comments and realise i was being too harsh on myself. i'd keep them up but i'd just hate seeing them get attention.

rushing only makes you hate your work and the quality of your work will decline if you are not in the right headspace.

thats also why i have the don't rush me thing in my rules because not only is it annoying to see people constantly asking for updates, it also makes me mad because i know i'll just put out a piece of garbage if i did rush.

also another tip don't give yourself deadlines!! if you know your writing consistency can be a little sloppy, don't tell your followers that you're going to upload every so and so day. if something happens and you miss the deadline, you'll feel bad and rush something out and most times out of ten, a rushed fic doesn't do well. so take your time and don't rush.

tip 6- dont listen to what other people say or feel obligated to write something you don't wanna. establish your boundaries!! for example, from day one i started this blog i said im accepting requests but i will not write anything to do with non-con, incest or minors. i made sure that was out there so i wouldn't feel uncomforable writing anything i wasn't comfy with.

there are people on this app that may like your writing and request you to write something for them. you are not obligated to write anything for anyone! don't feel like you have to just because they asked nicely.

if you want to accept requests you can im not saying you shouldn't, im saying don't feel like you have to. you always have a choice. its your blog.

tip 7- remember this isn't a job. you're allowed to take breaks, allowed to have a personal life. don't feel like you need to be updating every day. i used to think i was obligated to be uploading consistently at least every week because i was obsesssed with engagement and seeing peoples comments and was scared if i took a break ppl will unfollow. now i honestly don't care. i'm not active as much as i used to because of school and that's fine! if ppl want to leave, let them. don't feel like you're forced to keep being active in order to keep your follower count stable.

tip 8- this app can get really toxic sometimes. luckily enough i've only had one toxic anon in my inbox and i've been on this app for a year. some people have so many, some ppl get harrassed etc. if that happens to you just be prepared since there's no actual way to find out who's behind anons. you can turn off your anon options which means if ppl want to inbox you something then their account will be showing. some people arent comfortable with that and that's fine! i keep mine on because i want people to feel comfortable on my page.

just remember though if you ever feel like this app is getting overwhelming take breaks! for the sake of your mental health take breaks. i know so many writers on here that took breaks and came back healthier and stronger.

i feel like this tip goes for social media in general. as much as i love social media im aware how unhealthy it is. breaks are so important for you. remember that.

i can't think of anymore tips right now but if i have some more i will edit the post and add it on.

if u have anymore questions about the tumblr posting format dm me and ill help you out :))

[rosewine-cyoa]

It was a dark and stormy night. The harsh winds howled outside as rain beat down. a persistant tapping that brought no comfort. in the corner of your eyes there was movement. breath caught in your throat as you watched the sillouette of a gnarled hands with impossibly long claws scrape against the glass of your window.

lightning flashed, illuminating the room. a tree branch. you let out a sigh feeling a little silly. that tree had been there for years, your mother never bothering to cut it down despite the numerous comments of possible escape routes. tomorrow it would be best to complain about the noise causing a lack of sleep, perhaps that would spur her into action.

it was supposed to be a full moon tonight but the numerous dark clouds blocked any view. a shame seeing as it was your favorite sight, if the rain was not as bad as it was you would have gone to the observitory for some star gazing. 

the rooms temperature was low, near freezing. as was expected of a night like this. despite the money and the space your mother refused to install a house wide heating system. any complaints turned down in favor of more blankets that did nothing to stave off the unending cold. going anywhere in this state would not be the smartest idea.

you lie awake. the large comforter was pulled as high as can be with multiple others layed on top and yet the cold still seeped in. you shiver under the fabric. it would be near impossible to fall alseep like this, chattering teeth and cracks of thunder too loud to let your eyes drift closed.

rolling to the side revealed the alarm clock set on the side table. squinting at the red blinking lights you make out that its nearly midnight. much too late for a young lady such as yourself to be awake as your mother would tell you. she would be disappointed to find sleep had yet claimed her daughter, perhaps she would help you get to bed.

instead you stare at the ceiling, watching the shadows shift in the darkness. like inky black tentacles reaching out of the farthest realms by the will of eldritch beings older than the concept of time. they slither through empty space, nearing the bed of one vulnerable little girl. a perfect host for all their desires, incomprehensibly to the human mind. you blink. this isnt working.

you decide to…

==> stay in bed

==> get up

#A Stormy Night

[fruttymoment]

how do i begin to love to draw if it's always just low quality and poor no matter how hard i try or practice

You dont need to make a quality art to love drawing. If drawing realistic and high quality is your main goal, then it will take pretty long and you need to resist.

But like i said! Quality of a drawing shouldnt be how you can have fun while drawing. The way you can love to draw, is being able to draw something you desire to draw. If you desire something like tall building on a detailed night time with street lights reflection and moon on the sky with clouds raining 1920x1080 scenery , that.. wont work out well, if you are inexperienced.

The harsh truth is, we cant just "bam, done" our way out espacially when it comes to drawing something. Sometimes, for quality work, we need more than practice.

Now i obviosuly am just a doodler and not a professional, but i can give few tips to help you and others who desire high quality work and for those who are unsure how to love making art!

Research, And Study Art

High quality works requires their respect. You need to research and study the art topic of your mission.

For example, you want to draw humans? You need to take a look at anatomy.

In today's internet and technology, the information you want can easily be accessed.

Be Stubborn A Little

Do not ever give up if you truly want to love drawing. Be stubborn, and dont let go easily. But of course, this is only IF you are SURE you want to learn and love drawing.

Love cannot be forced.

Make It Interesting

Now, if the topic you want to draw is not interesting, it may bore you and you'd think drawing is no fun.

Drawing OF COURSE ISNT fun if you dont carefully choose your topics!! For example, i myself always find normal human drawings a bit boring. Sure, i would respect if it is highly detailed and all. But if someone draws a regular ass human portrait, with not even a pose, uh.. thats a bit boring? What am i supposed to do w that? I see humans all of time. It just looks regular, and not interesting to me.

However. If someone shows me some crazy shit about i dunno a war art of tanky robots taking over a castle with dragons fucking flying in the air or something they just drawed, and even if its low quality, THEN I WOULD GO "OOH THE FUCK IS THAT."

You even may notice it on my works as well! I oftenly do memes or overall stupid silly stuff! For me, i cant just draw Niko standing in there. No. I NEED to add something stupid. Like a banana costume. Maybe TWM in the back making a nuclear bomb with a horrific smile. Or just Niko but with some silly pose.

The point is! You should use your imagination and add elements to your art that interests you!

What is interesting to you? Or your hobbies? Try adding them to your art! And not for the sake of high quality, remember! To love drawing, you first need to have fun with it.

Challenge Yourself

Yes. Challenging yourself on ANYTHING can dramatically improve you.

For example i challenged myself to learn Python last year. I was like "if i dont learn more coding language i am going to die"

Okay maybe you dont need to be that harsh

Another example is me challenging myself to install Arch Linux with text to speech screen while i blindfold myself.

I know, sounds insane and looks pointless. But that stupid decision made me actually fucking learn Linux, virtual machines and bash language more.

Sometimes, all starts with an challenge. My last example is me starting to learn how to play flute just because i thought i should play sans music in a flute while walking around.

Okay my last LAST example : I challenged myself to draw Niko's hat accurately, months ago. Which was incredibly hard but it DID improved me how i draw their hat today!

Challenge yourself, but in a fun way! Dont quickly lose hope and get angry if you cant complete the challenge you just decided to do. You WILL complete it. Once you decide to, its over. It only takes time.

I can suggest daily stuff like Inktober Challenge too! I always wanted to do that!

Different Styles

Like i said previously, never try to draw the same thing in a same way. The result will not change in that way and you'll be exhausted.

Try different brushes, colors, style, objects etc.! Sometimes, draw something completely unrelated to you! Yeah, fr!

Friends Are Good. Artist Friends Are Even Better

If you are lucky and have art buddies, oohh DONT WASTE TIME. Draw with them!

I have bunch of art buddies that i draw with, mostly with online ways like aggie.com , skribbl.io , Gartic Phone etc! I can not explain enough how fun and important these moments are!

If you dont have artist friends, its actually easy to find! Like me, being in a fandom and making art for it is mostly enough to have interacting with other artists in the community!

They comment on your work, you comment on their work! You then talk other stuff besides art with them too, and in time, bam! Friens!

That's how it went for me! Amazing artists in OneShot community (also from other communities!!) reached me out, and so i reached them out too!

How? Drawing, of course :> when i draw Niko, other fellow Niko enjoyers found me, and so did i found them!

And i admit, i feel like a little bug sometimes when i compare my works and some of my artist friends work. Some of them are really born to draw, oh i can say! Me, not really am just vibing!

But this also helped me. Because, well, if someone is good at something and they see no problem teaching it to you too.. YOU ARE BLESSED!

Anyways this also went kinda long sorry

I hope my tips(?) helps you!

[horce-divorce]

thinking about how, even as a young kid who had never had a job, I started to question what the point of working so hard for so little is. when I got old enough to join the workforce, I had about four or five good, abled years left in me, relatively speaking. over the next 7 years I would have more than 15 different jobs, sometimes 3 at once, trying to find the magic combination that would pay my bills without bleeding me dry. I never found it. Instead I gradually lost my jobs along with my ability to work, I quickly became homeless, and have been struggling to "get back on my feet," whatever that means, for the ensuing 10 years and counting. I have not once had stability in my adult life. I expect to be homeless indefinitely.

nobody looks at any of the stuff I actually DO, though. no, because I'm disabled and I had to quit my jobs, all they see is what I DON'T do. and it's so weird, like. people moralize poverty and disability, right? they ABSOLUTELY look down on me for those things. And once they realize I'm not working because of that, they get jealous. They get insanely, transparently JEALOUS of the fact that I'm deathly ill, simply because I'm not working. clearly that means I have so much extra free time to be a person. (I hate that it bears repeating, but I DONT! being sick is a full time, 24/7/365 job that I DONT get breaks from, EVER.)

They'll say it like, "oh but you don't HAVE to work." False. I DO *HAVE* to work, just like you! I merely CAN'T. I dont get paid for the work i do end up doing; i cannot be additionally employed. "But i have to work to live? We all do? Isnt that hard?" YES!!!! You get a gold star for finally fucking noticing!!!!! WOW!!!!

But even then it doesnt stop the jealousy!!!! idk that dissonance is something that never stops fucking me up. Shame on your disabled ass, you have nothing to be proud of, you should be spending every last drop of energy fighting not to be disabled anymore, fighting to get back into the workforce primarily before anything else, and fighting not to need help EVER AGAIN. and if you die trying, fine! that's just life! You are lazy and entitled! Everyone only hates you because they wish they could be you :)))) Lmfao!!!!

It's wild how much a society that places this much importance on "individualism" will turn around and condemn me for supposedly "not contributing to society" (by letting my labor be exploited lmao). I thought that was called "giving handouts" and that we only do Me, Myself and I here in America? Why is it suddenly only all Team Spirit once your employer busts out the wiggly eyes and says "but we're a FAMILY"? Where's that spirit from your employer when YOU need someone to pick up your shifts? Let me guess, it's typically, "you're gonna have to find coverage for that yourself," isn't it? Yeah. And you hate ME for not "having" to deal with that anymore, instead of your boss for doing that to you.

It's pretty transparent how much abled people don't like being treated disposably either. They fucking hate this life lmfao. But because they have more utility left in thier bodies, they can go on pretending that they're actually "contributing" somehow, instead of instead of being milked dry for future discarding just like any other resource.

Instead, they'll get to spend thier whole lives believing they did something- until they're retired, and suddenly realize that having given their whole entire lives and selves still wasn't enough. It was never enough to keep them afloat, never enough to make them rich how they dreamed, Not even enough for just a few years of peace and quiet before they die.

I guess yeah, on the bright side, I do get to miss out on that whole song and dance. Because I already learned that harsh lesson at age 20, that NOTHING I ever do will actually be enough. And in the meantime there's, u know, just, all the debilitating chronic pain, the lack of dignity, the homelessness, having to beg to buy fucking toothpaste, EVERY. SINGLE. interaction you have with a housed person being moralized and scrutinized endlessly, the constant, never ending tug of war with social services, and MORE... did I mention the CONSTANT, CHRONIC, DEBILITATING PAIN?

You don't really wish you were me, lmfao. You just wish your work meant something. You wish you HAD a work-life balance instead of just work and no life. You wish it was dignified. You wish you chose to work instead of being forced to, under threat of becoming Like Me. You wish it so bad that you're jealous of someone who's fucking disabled for life and homeless most of the time. And for what? Because it precludes me from doing what you're doing anymore. Because now I can sit outside of that sphere and make this type of commentary about my experiences in the workforce, and you don't have the energy, the time of day, or freedom to speak out against your employer in the way i can now speak. So you take it out on me instead.

Think about that. Is that normal? Is that what you want from a job? Is that dignified? Is that how you want to treat yourself and other people? Is this the status quo you're fine with upholding for the rest of your life? Is this what you want for your kids? Is it worth it? Is it doing it for ya, bud? Is it paying the bills and everything? NO??? Damn. Ouch! Maybe think about that before you make some stupid comment directed at disabled people next time 👍

Anyway, when you're nearing the end of your utility, it's really easy to see the way all employers, even the "good ones," juice you dry and then discard you for a replacement, among other bigger structures that demand this. It's also easy to see when you're NOT disabled, it's just really uncomfortable and requires admitting some hard truths about all those "nice things" your boss supposedly does for you. If your job was really that great, you wouldn't be seething with jealousy at a disabled guy and wishing you were dying instead. That's not very hashtag sigma grindset likeaboss of you :/

#me #disability stuff #chronic illness #chronic pain #homelessness #car living

[infinitydivine]

As someone who's experiencing the someting similar and knows how it feels...

I can understand what you'd be feeling and going through and really wish I could hug you but i can't do therefore there a message from me that some wounds take more time to heal as we've been stabbed with them for years and maybe the scars might heal but scars might take years to fade.. it's genuinely not easy to be living in a household or environment where we are being constantly critisized and treated like sh!t especially when we are so different from them in a million ways. It's just reminder to you that you aren't alone his words aren't a reflection of you but his coz he chooses to see what he wants to..don't forget that!! His way of looking at you doesn't define you as a person neither does his opinions at the end of the day you are trying your best and that's what matters a lot! Ik it's not easy but during this time she needs you the most your inner child needs you... there might still be some wounds you won't be aware of or might be scars that will take time to fade :)) Don't push her away don't let someone else feel her the same way.. protect her she needs you!! Healing takes time...ik you are tired but who'll hold that girlof you wouldn't!? You are doing your best remember that...you are healing something you didn't break ofcourse it will take time..but during this time hold yourself a little tighter coz she didn't received that hug when she needed it the most...doesn't received the love she carved the most...give her everything she couldn't afford to have..she doesn't need to be brave all the time..maybe this time she needs a little hug and a place to let her emotions out..cry her heart out..let her do it!!

Ik that seeing people around you might make you feel as if they are all same but what if there's a person who's our there just made for you!!? As someone who believes in divine timing and destiny all i would like to say is trust!!! Ik it's hard but how we will be able to see the sun when we are searching for the shadows!?? Have faith ik it's hard but it's gonna be alright...you've done it before you'll do it again...

You are stronger than you believe...just because the end result isnt here yet don't unsee the parts which you've already healed....don't forget about those inner battles that no one KNOWS about..you are just a human being don't be too Harsh on yourself, this world has always been..I'm proud of you please keep going for yourself..for her!! You've been carrying that baggage for a long time...those habits are will take time... :)) I might not be as mature you are but I just couldn't resist myself from writing all this..ik words might not be that helpful but that's the least i could do!! I hope and pray you find the light until then cry if you want to... here's virtual hug *🫂* take care..i believe in you ik you got this!! 🫶🏻

I understand you dear and once again Thank you for your inspiring msg, trust me it means a lot to me. The days are hard but people like you make it easier for me. Thanks a lot !!!!! I really appreciate you being on my blog and always supporting me. You are an Angel disguised. I love you and I am sending you tons of my love.

If you ever need me I am just a DM away :)