#but at least im not upset im just laughing it off because im realizing im having an identity crisis

[discotitsposts]

meant to be

Spencer trying and failing to flirt with you because you are oblivious to his attempts.

spencer reid x reader

i picture this as later seasons spencer maybe sometime around 12-14?

some mature themes mentions of sex at the end so 18+

writing this because i saw something about people who are bad at flirting and that’s literally me. (i hope ppl get the reference w the nickname)

Spencer had tried every day to get your attention romantically. It didn’t work. Nothing did. You were so oblivious to all of his flirting attempts. He figured maybe you had trouble understanding so he worked harder to make you think of him as more than a friend. He tried everything his genius brain could come up with.

He even made up a nickname for you, Bean, because you always had a coffee in your hand, and because he was taller than you.

Today you were getting coffee with him as usual. At your favorite coffee shop and library. You didn’t work at the BAU so you would eventually have to go to your own job so Spencer decided to try again.

Since you lived in the same building, neighbors in the same hall, he picked you up every morning. Drove you to get coffee and you each picked a book for each other and then he drove you to work.

He knocks on your door awaiting anxiously. You come out in your outfit, just a t shirt and jeans. you didn’t have a dress code at your job, you were an author and usually went into a nice office that the publishing company provided to write since you had a hard time focusing in your apartment. Too many distractions.

In Spencer’s car you make small talk as he tries to think of a way to flirt with you. Normally he’d call Morgan but his son was a toddler now so he was busy. He gets so lost in his head he doesn’t realize he just ran a stop sign on accident and almost hit someone.

He hears you yell “Spencer what the fuck!” and slams the brakes. The other car honks and his heart is pounding in his brain. He pulls to the side of the road and stops.

“Spencer. Breathe. It’s ok.” You worry tracing your face at the sight of his extremely fast breathing and you rub his back reassuringly.

“Holy shit.” He barely chokes out. His face is beet red and he looks like he’s about to have a panic attack.

“Switch.” You tell him. He looks at you and feels comforted immediately by your face. “Let’s go, switch.” You get out of the car and switch sides.

‘So much for flirting’ he thinks. Then it hits him. When he picks your book for the day, he’ll give you a romantic story. Something that says ‘I really like you but I’m an idiot so I don’t know how to tell you but i’m not actually an idiot because im technically a genius but my fucked up life has ruined romance for me but i’d love to try it with you if you are okay with that.’

When you take over driving you don’t talk. You just focus on the road. You had even turned the music off. He hopes you’re not upset with him. That thought quickly dissipates when you pull into the parking lot and your face is beaming. You both race to the entrance and he gets there first and opens the door for you. You stick your tongue out at him and he smirks.

You order your usual drinks and he gets himself a breakfast bagel and you get a croissant. He puts the food at a table and you both get up to grab each other a book. You had yours picked since last night, The Godfather. It’s only a little over 400 pages so he’ll probably finish it by lunch time but at least it will be fun for him since it will make him think of you. At least you hope it does.

You have a habit of making funny commentary during movie nights. When you watched ‘The Godfather’ trilogy with Spencer he had laughed so hard he cried.

Meanwhile Spencer is searching rows of books looking for the right one. He moves to poetry but nothing feels right. He feels slightly frustrated so he moves back to classics and picks ‘A Little Princess’ instead. A favorite of yours you had read in elementary school. Not romantic but shows he knows you well.

When he makes his way back to the register to check the book out, you’re already seated munching your croissant. He makes his way to you and hides the book behind his back. You discreetly pull yours out of your bag and hide it the same way.

“1,2,3!” You both count at the same time and then reveal your books. Spencer cracks up when he sees the book you had picked. He had read this before but he enjoyed it because it reminded him of you. You both eat and finish your coffees. You look at each other.

“More?” Spencer asks.

“Obviously.” You answer. You both stand up and order more coffee.

Back in Spencer’s car you open the book and start reading. He’s about to put the key in the ignition when sudden confidence hits him. He doesn’t know if it’s the caffeine but he doesn’t care. He should kiss you right now. He stares at you until you look up.

“You’re going to be late for work if you don’t start that engine up soon Mr. Chauffeur.” You tease him.

He leans closer and puckers his lips slightly. He’s so filled with lust he just can’t wait anymore.

You look at him strangely. Was he trying to kiss you right now? Probably not. Truth was you were always so filled with doubt whenever you liked someone. Especially Spencer. He was just too handsome and sweet and perfect.

He leans in even closer to you and tilts his head. You, however, had gone back to your book and weren’t even looking at him.

“Does this make you uncomfortable” Spencer leans in closer. He closes his eyes and you lean down to reach for something from your bag. He doesn’t feel your soft lips on his and thinks he may have missed your face. He opens his eyes.

“Everything does. I have anxiety Spencer. All the time anywhere day and night. ” You reply while eating a yogurt you had found in your tote.

Spencer pulls away and smacks his forehead. He starts the car and drops you at your work and drives to the BAU feeling defeated. What would it take for you to realize how bad he wants you.

That night he decides to drop by your apartment. You had gotten a ride home from work by a friend tonight. He opens his door and walks the short distance to yours.

When his hand knocks on your door he feels nervous. You open the door and greet him.

“Hi!” You cheer.

“Hey, I was gonna order a pizza. You want?” He lies. He actually wasn’t the biggest fan of pizza. He didn’t eat it too often but it was your favorite food so why not.

“That would be great. I’m starving.” You clutch your belly dramatically. Which makes Spencer laugh.

He picks up the phone, “What would you like on the pizza m’lady.”

You tap your chin and think. “Sausage.” You reply. Spencer thinks of a way to flirt. Kind of.

“How much sausage would you like?” He asks smirking.

“Uhh, 5? I don’t know dude. The normal amount that goes on a pizza?” You answer sarcastically, going to your dvd rack to pick a movie. Spencer sighs. He calls and places the order and helps you pick a movie.

“How about ‘How To Be A Serial Killer?’ That’s a good one. I love Matthew Gray Gubler in this one so much.” You fan girl a little.

“Who the fuck is Matthew Gray Gubler? Also, no, not with my line of work. I need a break from that.” Spencer asks with a hint of jealousy in his voice. You clasp your hand over your heart dramatically.

“Ok, fine. how about a Disney Classic? Sleeping Beauty is my favorite.” You ask. Spencer nods. You put the movie on and grab two root beers from your fridge. Spencer thanks you when you hand him one and you lay a big fluffy blanket over you both. Not far into the movie the pizza arrives and you cheers Spencer with your pizza slice.

After you both eat and are full the movie is still on. You’re starting to feel sleepier by the second. Spencer offers you to lay with him and you take him up on it. He’s basically a giant teddy bear. He’s so warm and comfortable.

“I’ve got a real life sleeping beauty right here.” He whispers to you. You smile with your eyes closed. Too sleepy to open. He gets out from under you, to your dismay. He cleans up the trash from eating. He even washes some dishes you had left sitting. When he comes back, you’re still half awake. He sees you sneak an eye open to look at him and your smile after.

“It seems there’s a fair maiden who has fallen asleep. However can we wake her? What if she sleeps for a hundred years?!” He exclaims. You start giggling softly. He leans closer to observe you.

“I don’t believe it! She’s laughing in her sleep! Must be quite a funny dream. Wonder what it is. Only one way to find out.” He gently leans down and kisses your lips softly. This action puts you in shock and you’re blushing. He starts to pull away because doubts fill his mind. You grab his hair and pull him back in.

You both pull back and he starts to ask you,

“Were you ok with that?”

You cut him off, “Yes.” Then you rip your shirt off. Spencer’s in shock. He follows your lead and starts undressing. He picks you up and carries you to your bedroom. The kiss you’re sharing is deepening by the second.

“Fuck why is it so hot in here.” You complain.

“I can think of a few reasons.” Spencer had been kissing you on your neck sucking the skin softly. He lays you back on the bed. He makes you comfortable. He goes down on you and then fucks you like you’ve never been fucked before.

The next morning you woke up naked next to him flashes of last night replaying. You couldn’t believe it. Spencer was so passionate! You didn’t even imagine he liked you like that.

He groans next to you and turns over. You get up and put on some coffee. When you come back into the bedroom he’s awake and looking for you.

“Hey, coffee’s ready.” You lean over and kiss him. He groans too tired to give an answer. He pulls you into the bed and holds you longer.

With him, this felt so easy and realistic.

Then you realize something.

This was meant to be.

the end ♡

to anyone who read this far: hope u enjoyed reading!! please let me know if u enjoyed! xoxo

#criminal minds #spencer reid #mgg #matthewgraygubler #spencer reid x reader #dr spencer reid

[golden1u5t]

date night gone wrong | a.h x f!r

ꨄ requested: anonymous

ꨄ genre: fluff

ꨄ summary: its date night with aaron, he chose to go to a new restaurant and everything was going just fine until the waitress came on to him right in front of you.

“are you sure i can’t get you anything else? i can recommend something to you, though it won’t be on the menu but it’ll be the best thing you’d ever had.” the waitress shot aaron her best smile, ignoring your presence. the fact that she had been flirting with aaron ever since she sat you down at the table wasn't’ even what got you going, it was the fact that she was blatantly implying that she could give him something better than you that had your blood boiling.

“he said he didn’t want anything else, didn’t he? if you want to proposition every man you come by i’m sure there’s a corner down the street.” you scoffed as you stood up and grabbed your purse. without sparing them another glance you stormed out of the restaurant.

aaron cleared his throat and quickly paid for the night— leaving a tip even though he was sure if you found out you’d try to murder him—before he got up and chased after you. by the time he made it outside you were already more than halfway to the car. he could tell you were more than pissed because he could hear your heels hitting the pavement with each step you took and you only walked that hard or fast when you were angry.

when you did get to the car, your anger just intensified because you realized that you hadn’t grabbed the car keys so you had to stand outside in the cold for the short amount of time it took aaron to get to you. aaron took off his coat and placed it over your shoulders before opening the door for you. as he got in the driver's side he realized you had turned your entire body towards the window.

“sweetheart-“

“aaron, don’t.”

“why are you upset with me? i didn’t do anything!” he glanced over at you for a brief moment as he started the car. you kept your eyes trained on the passing buildings until he placed his hand on your thigh and gave it a light squeeze.

“exactly, you didn’t do anything when she was all over you! if i wasn’t there you’d probably have jumped her bones.” you finally turned your body around to face him and when you did you were met with the sight of aaron’s amused smile. the car slowed to a stop at the red light and he was able to look at you, when he did he couldn’t help the laughter that escaped him. “oh, now you’re laughing?”

“god- you’re cute when you’re jealous.” he laughed again, shaking his head before turning back to the road. that’s always been his favorite trait about you, how easily you get jealous. he likes it because it shows you care and it makes him feel wanted.

“uh-huh. flattery gets you nowhere, hotchner.”

ꨄ a/n: okay i know i said i was gonna start reposting these twice a week starting next week but tbh i kinda just wanna go ahead and get them all back up asap so im probably gonna start posting at least one a day.

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner fluff #aaron hotchner x fem!reader fluff #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotch imagine #aaron hotch fanfiction #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fandom

[lymmsweb]

Hi! I don't know if you're taking requests yet, but I was wondering if you could do headcanons or scenarios about Ghost / Soap / König having a crush on a recruit girl who is a very skilled sniper, but constantly underestimated by other military personnel for being short and deaf / mute

Simon “Ghost” Riley

John “Soap” Mactavish

Words: 537

Tws: misoginy, bullying

A/N: i only did being short and mute because im pretty sure if you’re deaf you can’t serve in the military!! Also i wrote the muteness to at least allow you to talk because it'd be very dangerous to serve in the military and not able to communicate a bit on comms.

Totally didn't take me 4months to come back and i didn't do Konig cuz i dont know enough about his character

Simon “Ghost” Riley

When he first met you he underestimated you too, it wasn’t intentional but he just couldn’t help but doubt you and your abilities.

He took you under his wing to make sure you were keeping up with everyone but after you saved his ass multiple times on missions, all his worries quickly went away and he started respecting you a lot more.

After a couple months he started to get closer and closer to you he started noticing how most of the men wouldn’t take you seriously and often pick on you. It upset him quite a bit knowing he was one of these men at one point, so if he was around and men would pick on you he’d give them a stern lecture and give death glares whenever he’d pass them again in the future

He would always bring you along as back up on missions, you were one of the best snipers he could get his hands on and he felt safer knowing you were watching his back. He even grew to enjoy your company, not minding the silence he would always be met with, if anything he found it much more relaxing than anything.

Ghost started noticing that he liked you after he defended you from a man that was saying misogynistic things towards you, he hated the way you looked after receiving the insults and not being able to defend yourself. He didn’t know why he felt the urge to protect you, it was like love was a new emotion being discovered after years of not feeling in love with someone.

John "Soap" MacTavish

He was one of the few men that were nice to you right off the bat. After missions he would always go to find you and give tips on how to improve and what you did wrong.

You grew on him very quickly, often being paired up with him meant that he had all the opportunities to hit you with his corny jokes and you not being able to do much about it.

He would accidentally slip up some jokes about you and your size when drunk, not really caring about how loud he was at the bar. It earned laughs from his men, it felt good at first but when they started slipping sexist comments it sobered him right up.

After the bar incident, he started picking up on how your comrades viewed you. He started to feel disgusted about how they didn't respect you or your strengths or you achievement, in his eyes he started to lose respect towards them.

He started to talk about you to everyone, mentioning how great you are and how people should give you a chance. This started to rub off on people as more and more men started to at the very least stop picking on you.

It was after a couple weeks of a non stop cycle of improving your social status and you saving his life on multiple missions that he finally realized he was crushing on you. However now this meant that he started acting like a lost puppy around you, always by your side one way or another. Someone would have to be blind to not notice his growing crush.

#call of duty #comfort #call of duty mwii #call of duty x reader #call of duty x you #cod reader insert #cod headcanons #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty mw2 #soap cod #cod x reader #cod mwii #cod x you #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley #soap x reader #john mactavish x reader #john soap mctavish x reader #john soap mactavish #headcanons

[leclerced]

lando teaching oscar how you like to be fucked :) and ofc he's a fast learner...maybe he even does some things you didn't even know you enjoyed

this is the one i was answering when my phone died and im distraught. its not exactly the same but it’ll do i suppose.

lando takes oscar under his wing in every possible way. as soon as they meet, something clicks and lando is bringing him everywhere. he realizes pretty quickly that his girlfriend has the hots for his teammate but instead of being angry or jealous, it kind of turns him on? she doesn’t realize that’s why he’s suddenly so touchy with her, especially in front of oscar until one night when he’s got her completely at his mercy. he’s fucked her stupid, she’s just floating around as he fucks her at this point, at that perfect sweet point where everything feels good. then he leans down and whispers in her ear, “i know you want to fuck oscar.” she immediately whimpers but he doesn’t stop, “it’s okay, love. ‘m not upset. no one could fuck you like i can, isn’t that right? or do you think he could? think he could get you to this point? you really think he could fuck you stupid? i think he looks like he’s never tasted pussy. i’d have to teach him how to fuck you.” she can’t help but moan and she can feel his smirk against her neck as the knot in her stomach tightens. “i really must have fucked you stupid if you think anyone could fuck you like i do, pet. you want me to call him in hear? ask him if he wants to try?” she can’t stop her orgasm crashing over her at his words, her body seizing around him as he laughs into her skin.

it’s forgotten about, or at least not spoken about until a few nights later, lando invites oscar to their hotel room to watch a movie. she knows he has alternative plans because he doesn’t tell her oscar’s coming and she’s grinding on lando’s lap and moaning into his mouth when there’s a knock on the door and lando just pushed her off him to answer it. she was already blushing from their heavy petting, but then she sees oscar and she can’t think. she’s silent as they bicker about what movie to watch, and through the forty five minutes of them talking over it, until lando suddenly asks, “do you want to fuck her?” oscar chokes on nothing and she whimpers as she sinks into the couch. he said it like she wasn’t sitting right between them, and he had to ask again when he was met with silence, “well, it’s now or never. yes or no.”

oscar immediately says yes and lando’s grinning and she’s terrified, not like genuine fear, but she doesn’t know what’s going to happen to her as the two boys stare at each other like she’s not there, having a silent conversation. then lando’s pulling her back onto his lap and making out with her while oscar watches until lando pulls away and passes her over, she’s a rag doll in their grip as she’s moved to straddle the other mclaren driver, and then lando’s telling oscar where to put his hands and spends the next few hours bossing his teammate around.

#ask #anon #lando norris smut #oscar piastri smut #ln4/op81

[builtbybrokenbells]

Gold Dust Woman | ii

Y/n finds herself giving in to temptation, tangling herself further in Jake’s web due to her inability to turn him away. Her dishonesty about her actions results in nothing but more trouble as she quickly realizes Jake is not the only one playing the game.

Read part one here

Pairing: jake kiszka x f!reader, sam kiszka x f!reader

Word Count: 8.5k

Warnings: swearing, allusions to sex, flirting, touch of making out, hangovers, love triangle situations, sorry if i miss any!

hi! sorry this took so long. it’s also not the best, but i hope you still like it and stick with me through this series because im quite excited about it. ive been having a really tough time lately and just started getting back into the swing of things, so this chapter is kind of setting the scene and a promise for more, i guess. no smut in this one, but pinky promise it’s coming soon. as always, enjoy, be kind, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes 🫶🏻

~

The sun served as a violent reminder of the previous nights events. When you opened your eyes to the rays of light beaming through the curtains, you barely had time to register you were awake before the remorse began to seep back in. You were sure that the headache from your hangover was just another way of the universe laughing at you. As you rubbed the sleep from your eyes, you were almost angry at the sun for shining when you felt as miserable as you did. The specks of dust danced through the rays, silently taunting you as you attempted to pull yourself from the arms of slumber. You hated knowing that the world would keep turning and moving forward, even when you felt like everything was crumbling around you.

You made a move to stand, but the pounding in your skull was encouraging you to crawl back under the blankets and hide away. Still, you stood, searching for clothes to cover yourself with. You located an old t-shirt and some shorts in a pile of laundry you hadn’t gotten around to folding yet, throwing it on without much thought. You took to the mirror, checking yourself over, sickened at the sight. Your makeup was in disarray, smudged and stained over your skin and your hair was wild, sticking up and knotted. You grabbed some makeup wipes, ridding yourself of the mess on your face, first, and then grabbing a comb to brush through your hair. When you deemed yourself at least sort of presentable, you made the dreaded journey to the company of others.

As you made your way down the hallway, you could hear minimal chatter coming from the living room. You peeked your head around the corner, praying that it was just the boys, still unsure of who stayed at your home overnight. You felt a wave of relief wash over you when you saw Josh sprawled across the couch, eyes closed with a hand on his forehead. Danny was sitting on the second couch, arm casted around the back and slumped into the cushions. Sam was laying on the floor, eyes also shut to block out the light. You couldn’t help but notice Jake was nowhere to be found, immediately wondering where he ran off to. You scolded yourself internally, upset that he was the first person you searched for, that he was the first thought in your head. Even so, your mind trailed back to the memory of him, reminding yourself of how ethereal he looked between your legs. How could you not think about him after you’d seen him like that? Just at the thought, you felt a surge of emotion rush straight to the pit of your stomach.

“Good morning, sunshine.” A voice broke you from your head. You looked up, nervous at the greeting. You were sure guilt was plastered all over your face, giving you away almost immediately.

“Hey,” you replied, hoping to cover up your startled expression. You walked over, careful to avoid Sam on the ground. You took a seat next to Danny, who almost instantly wrapped an arm around your shoulders. You leaned into the touch, comforted at the idea he could possibly still be ignorant to the events of the night prior.

“You disappeared on me last night.” He noted, but there was no accusatory tone present.

“Yeah, I didn’t feel very good. I ended up going straight to bed.” The lie slipped off your tongue easier than any truth you’d ever told. You kept your eyes on your hands, which were resting on your lap. It only took one night for Jake to cast such a spell over you, one that made you so willing to lie for him; whatever power he held within him was strong enough to make you a fool, keeping him a secret while silently hoping he would come back, just so you could catch sight of his face.

“Feel better today?” He asked. You rested your head on his shoulder, closing your eyes in attempt to ward off the ache in your head.

“Not particularly.” You gave a short lived chuckle. “What about you guys?”

“I think it’s safe to say we’ve all had better days.” He replied, leaving it at that. “Josh, throw over that bottle of Advil.” In response, Josh let out a low groan along with a few incoherent mumbles. He reached to the side table without moving from his position, hand searching wildly for the small bottle. Once he’d located it, he tossed it in the general direction of you both without looking. It landed with a thud on the cushion beside you.

You picked it up, taking two out of the bottle. Danny handed you his glass of water. You muttered a thanks, swallowing them down and handing it back to him. “I’m never drinking again.”

“You say that every time.” Danny reminded.

“I mean it, this time.” You grumbled, but left it at that. You had no energy to argue the point any further. You were certain you meant it, now, because you finally joined in on the drunken mistakes everybody so often spoke about. For once, the alcohol worsened your situation instead of taking your mind off it. And now, you had no idea what to do about it. Your night of attempting to drink away your lesson had only created more. As your eyes drifted to Sam laying on the floor, your chest ached at the sight. Still, as hungover as he was, he was gorgeous. The previous nights events had no affect on your feelings for him; they were still as strong as ever. You were hoping the entanglement would provide some sense of clarity, but the only thing your dance with the devil gave you was a sense of shame, and a bit of remorse.

As you watched Sam’s face, you couldn’t help but feel your thoughts drift back to his brother. Sam was the type of person you wanted to come home to after a long day, cozy up with on the couch and throw on a movie. He was the person you wanted to share your everyday life with, one with whom you wanted to make an endless book of memories. Jake, on the other hand, was like a cloud of black smoke consuming you every time you thought of him. He didn’t even need to speak to you, you just wanted his hands on you and for him to never stop touching you, ever again. The sinful desire to be wrapped around him forever was overpowering; much stronger than a want. Now, it was almost a necessity.

The idea of never feeling him like that again was so dreadful that it took the air from your lungs and clouded your vision. He was suffocating you with his essence, but it felt so good that you almost felt the need to thank him for it; oxygen was second only to Jake and the way he made you feel. Even in your hungover state, the memory of him was still overpowering everything else. The tingle on your skin in the places he touched you was residual, begging you to remember him. As much as you’d hoped for it to be gone when you woke, you knew that you’d give anything to have a minute alone with him once more.

You found yourself toying the line of consciousness, comfortable in Danny’s hold and soothed from the warmth of his body. He was much like a large teddy-bear, and one of the few friends you didn’t mind physical contact with. If anything, it was one of the greatest comforts you knew. You were certain everybody else had dozed off as well, each one of you feeling the exact same way. Just as you were about to fall back into slumber, the front door opened and footsteps echoed down the hall. You stirred slightly, peering at the intruder with only one eye open. You were glad everybody else was sleeping, because the redness that spread across your face at the sight of Jake was more than incriminating.

He caught you looking, wasting no time giving you a smile. He was holding a tray of coffee and what looked to be a bag of takeout. “Don’t you all look energetic,” he commented, his gaze drifting around the room.

“Please, please tell me that one of those are for me?” You found the energy to open both eyes, lifting your head slightly. The surge of pain that ran through your skull prompted you to resume your earlier position.

“Obviously, sweetheart. Could never forget about you.” He sent a wink in your direction, one that was so subtle you would have missed it had you not been immersed in every detail of his face. You bit down on the inside of your lip in attempt to distract yourself from the fluttering in your stomach, still clearly affected by his pet names. He walked over, handing you a cup.

“Thanks, Jake.” You said, eyes focused on his face. When you reached for the coffee, your fingers brushed with his. The contact ran through you like a shock of lightning, causing your breath to catch in your throat. It was a small enough reaction that nobody noticed, except for the boy who caused it. He gave you a smile before he moved on, handing out the rest of the drinks.

At the smell of food, and the sound of the conversation, Sam and Josh arose from their positions. Jake gave everybody’s respective orders to them before settling beside you on the couch. You took a sip of coffee, trying not to focus on the feeling of his thigh resting against yours. You looked down at the lid of the cup, delighted at the taste of the drink. Your eyes softened at the writing on the top. Somehow, he’d managed to remember exactly how you liked your coffee. You couldn’t recall the last time you’d actually told him, meaning he’d been storing that information in his head for a while. You looked to him through the corner of your eye, hoping to be sneaky about it, but you found he was already looking at you through the corner of his. You felt the heat rise to your cheeks again, quickly shifting your attention back to the food in front of you.

After some much needed caffeine and sustenance, the group seemed to become a bit more lively. Sam and Josh both managed to remain upright, their eyes staying open for more than a few minutes at a time. “You seem awfully quiet,” Danny nudged you with his elbow. Your head turned towards him, trying to cover up your dazed look. You still weren’t quite back to reality. The memories from the night prior were hitting you harder each time the chatter in the room died down, leaving you still trying to figure out if it really happened or your dreams were just very vivid. You knew it must have happened, because the ache in your heart was very real every time you caught Sam’s eye, or because of the flood of emotion that washed over you every time you looked a little too closely at Jake.

“Oh, yeah. Guess I still don’t feel the best.” You chuckled, realizing you’d have to break out of your internal struggle sooner or later.

“Another Advil?” He offered, holding the bottle out to you.

“I don’t think any amount of Advil can take away this hangover, Danny Boy.” You sighed, letting your head fall back into the cushion. You meant it, too. This hangover was different, because you were suffering through a withdrawal from something much more powerful than alcohol. As remorseful as you felt about your actions, you knew the only way to satiate the feeling was to get Jake back in your bedroom and finish what you started. Even thinking that caused a twinge of pain in your chest, eyes casted in the direction of Sam and the stupid little smile he had on his lips.

“Hey, y/n,” your attention was pulled in another direction. You looked to your side, raising an eyebrow in response to Jake’s voice. “Do you still have that Les Paul?” You watched him, more specifically the way his lips moved as he formulated the words, finding yourself captivated in it. You felt the urge to lean over and kiss him, just to feel a shred of what he’d made you feel a few hours before.

“Uh, the gold top?” You asked, unsure if that’s the one he was asking about. “There’s a sunburst around here somewhere, too, if you’re thinking of that one.”

“No, the gold top.” He clarified. You looked around the room, certain that you’d left it there the last time you played it. When you couldn’t locate it, you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion.

“It must be downstairs. Did you want to play it?”

“Yeah, I’ll come and look for it with you.” He said, passing it off as a completely innocent, friendly gesture. You locked eyes with him, knowing what he really meant by the statement. Your gaze lingered for a moment too long, realizing you would have to answer before any suspicion was casted towards the interaction. You shared a silent agreement with him before speaking.

“Sure. It’s probably down there, somewhere. There’s so much shit in the basement that I can’t even keep track of it all anymore.”

“If you’re looking to get rid of any of it, I’d be more than happy to take that Thunderbird off your hands.” Sam sent a smirk your way. The sound of his voice pulled your attention to him, completely immersing you in his presence. You hated that both boys now had that power over you. Without missing a beat, you rolled your eyes, giving a slight scoff at his statement.

“You’ll never get your hands on that bass, Sammy. I love you, but never.” You said, making a move to stand.

“Oh, come on. All of those instruments down there, and I’ve never even seen you play one. Have some compassion, woman.” He pleaded. You gave him a gentle pat on the head as you walked by.

“Never, Sam.” You repeated. “Play it all you want, but it stays here.”

“Worth a shot.” He shrugged.

“Just like the thousand other times you asked?” You teased. He gave you a look, his gaze lingering over your face for a moment.

“Always.” He smiled, eyes focused on you with an expression you weren’t sure you’d seen from him before. You felt your heart flutter, noticing your stare lasted for a second too long with him, too. You shook the thoughts from your head, unable to think about how pretty he looked when he smiled, especially when you were about to head off to seclusion with his brother. You were in too deep with both of them, and there was no sign of land. You moved towards the exit of the room, looking back to find Jake following closely behind. You flicked on the light to the stairwell leading to the basement, cracking open the door. You led him down, watching your footing as you made your descent down the steps. You heard him trailing behind, the door softly falling shut behind him.

When your feet hit the floor, your hand searched for the second light switch on the wall, locating it after a few moments of struggle. You clicked it on and the yellow hue of the lightbulb filled the room, allowing you to see what was inside. You turned back to look at Jake, once again finding him already looking at you. He gave you a small smile once you caught his eye. “Sleep well last night, Gold Dust Woman?” You narrowed your gaze, eyebrow raised slightly to showcase your annoyance with him.

“What do you think, Jacob?” His smile only grew, and a laugh accompanied it, this time.

“I never got any phone calls, so I assumed you did.” He took a single step in your direction, almost as if he was nervous to approach you again. You watched him, wondering if you should let the situation continue as it was, or shut it down.

“Did you put my Les Paul down here?” You asked, unable to keep the question to yourself. You had the nagging idea that he moved it, almost certain that you last left it in the room you had just been in. But, at the same time, you could never be too sure of yourself. Especially considering the last twenty-four hours of your life had been nothing short of disastrous and delusional.

“Is that an accusation?” He seemed to love answering your questions with more questions, and it was driving you insane.

“Simple curiosity.” You replied, feeling unable to look away from him.

“Maybe I took it upon myself to bring it down here,” he explained, giving a slight shrug of his shoulders. “Wouldn’t have wanted anything to happen to it, last night.”

“You sure that was the motivation?” You pressed further, wanting to hear him admit the true intent. He took another step closer, now within an arms reach of you. He brushed the hair from your face, tucking it neatly behind your ear.

“Curious little thing, aren’t you?” He teased. His fingers ghosted over your cheek, sending that same rush of excitement through you as it did the night before. It was crazy how such a minuscule contact could produce such a grand feeling. That was just how Jake was, though. Everything about him was grand, even his simplicity.

“Just a question.” You assured him, praying you could keep your confidence. The slight airiness of your words and the drum of your heart against your ribcage said otherwise, though, and you were certain he noticed it.

“Anyone ever tell you that curiosity killed the cat, sweetheart?” He was inching closer, the space between your bodies diminishing more by the second. Even so, it seemed painfully slow. You wondered how you so easily found yourself in the same position after making the fatal mistake the night before; after the soul-crushing remorse you’d been feeling all morning.

“There’s another half to that saying, Jacob. Don’t forget about that part.” You reminded, hand involuntarily reaching for him. Your fingers grasped at the fabric of his shirt, pulling him towards you a little further. There it was again, the same incomprehensible force he had that drew you into him. You understood, now; you would never be able to escape Jake as long as he was accessible. Much like a drug, he was addictive. You were sure that even if you went to the basement with the intent of telling him to leave you alone, you’d still end up immersed in him one way or another. His aura was stronger than any pull of gravity or any other earthly force. Even knowing you shouldn’t, you couldn’t help but invite him in.

“Right,” he agreed, now pressed into you. His face was hovering just above yours. The anticipation was killing you; he seemed to be a fan of keeping you on edge, and it was insufferable. You wished he would just make the move, to decide for you and limit you from any overthinking. But, maybe, that was his intent. He wanted you to think about it; he wanted you to do all of the thinking, so you would ultimately end up in his arms on your own terms. He wanted you to think about him so often that there was no room for anything else, and he almost had you there. He was persevering until every part of your brain was consumed with him, in a true devilish fashion. He knew he could get away with it, too, because he could tell it was working. “Remind me, again, would you?”

“Of what, exactly?” If he wanted to play the game, you had no issue playing, too. A smirk was toying at the corner of his lips, although hard to notice due to his close proximity. It would be so easy to kiss him, you thought, so easy to just lean forward and allow you both the pleasure you were desperately seeking. But, you stayed true to your position and your stubbornness, refusing to break the gap between your mouths.

“Don’t be like that, sweetheart.” His hand that wasn’t occupied with your cheek found your hip, holding it with little force, just enough to let you know he was touching you. The pet name made your head spin once again. He had you wrapped around his finger, and you were too far gone to come back from it. You knew you would give him anything he wanted as long as he continued looking at you in such a way.

“Satisfaction,” you muttered, completely lost in the deep brown hue of his eyes. They were so inviting, much like a warm hug on a cold day. He nodded, happy with your answer. “Satisfaction brought it back.” You finished, more confident in your words.

“Mhm,” he hummed. “So, what’s going to satisfy you, then?” You swallowed hard at his words, eyes flickering down to his lips again. He already knew the answer, the question only served as a boast for his ego. “Finishing what we started last night?” He pried, lips just hovering over your own. It was almost funny, how distraught you’d been about this exact situation just minutes before, and how willingly you’d fallen back into it.

“An answer to the question would do it, I think.” You brushed his question off, but you knew your response was a lie. You were practically drooling at the thought of continuing your activities from the previous night. The idea of walking away from him was blasphemous, the thought almost putting you in agony.

“So, if I tell you the truth, you’ll walk away?” His fingertips were burning into your skin, so violent despite his gentle touch, but it felt fantastic. You were certain you’d never be able to live without it.

“Yeah,” you breathed, trying to feign a little bit of certainty, but anyone with a working set of ears could tell it was untruthful.

“You know you can’t lie to me, angel.” He scolded, although his tone was soft and barely above a whisper. The tip of his nose was tickling your own, now. He’d given in last night, but he was stubborn enough to stop himself, this time. He wanted you to invite him in, now. It was your turn to break the boundary. “But, yes. I brought the Les Paul down here this morning, if that’s what you want to know.”

“Why?” You pestered, both of you aware that wasn’t the question you wanted answered.

“So I could have you all to myself, again.” He was done playing, realizing the best way to get what he wanted was to be honest. As fun as it was to tease you, he wanted to feel you on him again, almost as badly as you wanted him. In another moment of weakness, void of any rationality, you pulled him closer and closed the gap between you. It was hungry, filled with desperation and a need for each other that was unable to be described with words.

He guided you backwards, firmly pressing you against the wall as his hands found their way under the hem of your shirt. He wasn’t disrespectful: more so just searching for a more intimate piece of you to experience. He settled his hold on your hips, just above your shorts. His fingers felt like heaven on your skin, like it was exactly where they were meant to be. Your arms were wrapped around his neck in a shameless attempt to capture him and hold him to you forever. The idea of the guitar was long out the window, much like the memory of the people sat in your living room. The only thing that held any importance was the boy before you, once again casting his spell over you.

When he parted from you, the loss of contact was agonizing, nearly bringing you to tears. The pent up tension from how he’d left you had simmered, but now was building once more, making it impossible to see past it. If life would have been so kind, he would have taken you right there. But, as you grew to understand, it never was. He gave you that same, irritating smile in place of his kiss. You wanted to smack it off his face, just to ensure he’d never give it to you again. “Glad to see you still feel the same way,” he noted.

“You make it impossible not to.” You said, fighting the urge to push him away from you.

“Thank you.” He grinned.

“Not particularly a compliment, sweetheart.” You corrected, barely noticing the use of the nickname. It seemed like his charm was rubbing off on you.

“Agree to disagree,” he said, face still inches from your own. “Have I earned that invitation, yet?” You held back an eye roll, knowing deep down that he never needed any invitation; he owned the place, now. It would feel more comfortable if you were asking him permission to allow you the pleasure.

“You could’ve had me last night. You already had the invitation, Jake. You didn’t need to earn it.” You reminded him, still angry but finding yourself more focused on his lips, hoping he’d grace you with another kiss.

“I know, angel, but don’t you want it even more, now?” You expelled a long sigh, tired of him dragging the situation out. “It will be so much better, now that you’ve waited.” He assured you. “Besides, I think you’re worth courting, at least a little bit.” He sent another wink in your direction, paired with a smirk.

“Maybe you’re the sadist.” You shot, throwing his own theories back at him. He gave a shrug, but didn’t give anything more. “You promised me, Jake.”

“I haven’t broken any promises, sweetheart.” He said, looking over your face.

“Surely this isn’t what you meant by all day long, however I wanted it.” You scoffed. “I’m not exactly enjoying this.”

“So, what? You want me to fuck you while everybody waits for us upstairs?” He asked, raising a hand to run his finger over your cheek. That smug little smirk remained stuck on his lips. When you didn’t answer, he raised an eyebrow in inquiry. “You would?” He let out a disapproving hum, settling his palm on your cheek. Your eyes fluttered closed, knowing that if you were going to have him, he’d ensure that you would suffer a bit, first. That was just a part of his hellish nature. Although, you had to admit, he was right; the build up was bound to result in a way more intense climax, later. “Dirty little thing, too.” He noted, drawing in a deep breath. It seemed like the idea sparked a nerve within him, too. If your inhibitions were any lower, you both would have given in.

“Get the fucking guitar,” you snapped, but your hands refused to break their hold on him. “But when they go home, you stay.”

“A lady who knows what she wants,” he leaned in once more, lips barely brushing over yours. “Hot.” The eye roll you’d been containing made its way into the world. The small statement aided you in realizing that as captivating as he was, he was still just a boy. He leaned forward, giving you another kiss to hold you over. As much as you hoped it would ease the feeling of need, it only worsened it. When he broke away, he moved back and freed you from your position. You watched him, still half-tempted to fuck him right there. You persevered, playing the waiting game once again. You managed to hold back this long, and you were sure you could hold on just a bit longer.

“Where’d you put it?”

“So demanding.” He said, feigning a look of disbelief. You placed a hand on your hip, silently telling him that your patience was growing thin. “Fine,” he stepped away, looking only for a second before locating the case that contained the guitar. He grabbed it, returning to you and giving a genuine smile. “Better?” You gave a nod, happy for once that he decided to comply. Amidst your frustration, you couldn’t help but soften at his goofy expression. You walked towards him, placing a kiss on his cheek in thanks. You nodded your head towards the stairwell, letting him know you were both long overdue for your return.

“Thanks.” You said as you took to the steps. He was close behind, not letting you stray too far. As you reached for the light switch, a sharp smack landed on your ass, causing you to jump at the contact. You turned around, giving a look of bewilderment which was met with a chuckle.

“Just so you know, I never break a promise.” He assured you. “And, just because you got your way, doesn’t mean you’re in charge.” He gave another wink, causing you to swallow hard. The statement produced a whole other world of excitement, eager to see what he had in store for you. You both returned to the main level, composing yourselves as you walked in attempt to hide the true intent of the basement visit.

“Oh! Hold on,” You said, turning on your heels. Jake watched you, curious about your sudden change in direction, but stepped out of your way. You tumbled back downstairs, looking around for only a moment before locating the item you’d forgotten. You grabbed the bass before joining Jake once again. Even though you were captivated in Jake, Sam still seemed to be heavy on your mind.

“If you let him play that, he’s never going to give it back.” Jake warned.

“He will, trust me.” You said, not worried about it. You closed the basement door behind you as you stepped into the main floor. Jake disappeared around the corner, joining his brothers. You took a moment to fully regain yourself before following after him. You were greeted with three pairs of questioning eyes once you entered the room.

“Did you guys get lost?” Danny asked, a smirk on his face. You looked to him, trying to cover any look of guilt that might have been on your own. The knowing look he held in his eye made your stomach churn with unease.

“There’s a lot of shit down there. Guess it just got lost in the mess of things.” You chuckled, refusing to hold his stare any longer. You turned to Sam, handing him the Thunderbird. He took it, excitement replacing any inquiries in his mind. “To play. Not to keep, Sammy.” You reminded, but he was too busy plucking at the strings. Jake had flicked the power on to an amp sitting beside the television, messing with the settings. He took to the second one beside it, tossing a patch cord towards his youngest brother. Danny decided he would drop the subject for now, knowing you’d never admit to anything in front of a group. He made a mental note to ask about it later.

“Now I feel left out.” Danny said, looking around at his friends. You let out a small laugh.

“I’ve got a box drum. No real drum set, yet. Or a couple acoustics, if you’d prefer that.”

“Those in the basement, too?” He questioned. You elected not to respond, making a move towards the amp and grabbing the drum, making the decision for him.

“Right here, actually.” You smiled as you sat it in front of him.

“You’re too kind,” he said, pulling the instrument between his legs. You resumed your earlier position on the couch beside him, looking around at everyone. The morale definitely seemed higher than it was previously. Between the pain killers and the distraction of music, everyone was mostly back to their normal selves. “That’s a gorgeous guitar.” Danny noted, eyes trailing towards Jake.

“It’s a ‘57 reissue. Wish I could’ve got the real one, but I can’t be too greedy.”

“Where do you find all of these? And how are you not broke?” Sam laughed, eyeing the bass in his hands.

“I got a lot of them as gifts, or thank you’s from the people I’ve worked with over the years. Some of it I bought secondhand, and some I got brand new. They all kind of come with their own story, which is cool.” You explained. Sam watched you intently as he listened.

“That is really cool, actually.”

“Yeah, turns out a lot of musicians like to cycle through instruments. They get bored after so many years and move on to other things. When they do, they have nowhere to put the pile of old ones.”

“That’s where you come in?” You smiled, nodding in response.

“Yeah, exactly. It’s awesome, ‘cause it’s like I get to keep a part of the people I work with. I mean, the instruments are cool, but the sentiment means more.” You told him, feeling touched at the question. The whole idea of Sam was confusing. You were hopelessly head over heels for him, but you were quite certain any feelings you had weren’t returned. Then, he’d sit there and ask you questions nobody else bothered to ask you. He made you feel seen; heard, even, after an entire lifetime of begging for it.

“You can’t tell me you’ve never played any of them,” he said, stare still burning into you. You opened your mouth, but closed it quickly, void of a proper response. Your eyes flickered to Jake, who was mindlessly strumming. He wasn’t looking in your direction, but you knew he was listening; he always listened. You weren’t sure if you wanted to share the intimate detail of your life with all of them, yet. The thought terrified you, understanding that the more people that knew about it, the bigger chance of your escape to the bars on Friday nights being ruined. Then again, you thought you’d be mortified if anyone found out. The night before, when Jake showered you in his completely honest compliments, it felt more comforting, rather than scary. Like the years of learning and practicing finally amounted to something. The stamp of approval from a real musician was exhilarating.

“A little, I guess.” You shrugged. Jakes eyes flickered towards you, expression intrigued at the idea you might tell everyone. “Just a side hobby.” Jake had to bite back a smile, excited he may be able to get to hear you play again. Sam’s eyes were wide, amazed that you finally admitted you played the instruments, rather than let them collect dust. They all had the nagging suspicion, and often took turns trying to pry the information from you. He was proud of the fact he’d been the one to get you to tell them. If only he knew the truth, that he wasn’t the first to know, he might have been a little heartbroken. So, you kept that part to yourself and hoped Jake would do the same.

“Play me something?” He asked, hope sparkling in his pupils. You felt your heart jump at the sight of him, unable to turn him down while he looked at you in such a way. You swallowed hard, but eventually gave a nod.

“Okay.” You agreed, already feeling your nervousness set in. At the word, Jake immediately surrendered the Les Paul over to you. You took it, muttering a thank you and settling it on your lap. “What do you want to hear?” You asked. All four boys had no answer, overjoyed to hear whatever you were willing to play. You rested the pick between your lips as you adjusted the tuning pegs to satisfaction.

You took a deep breath, closing your eyes for a moment, realizing that this was the most intimate detail you’d ever shared with them to date. You didn’t even bother to open them, too scared to see the expressions they adorned when you started to pick. You let the muscle memory guide you through the intro riff. You played it a few times, getting a feel for the song before continuing on. The second time you played it, Danny caught on and was banging a small beat into the drum. The third time, Sam joined in with the bass. The sound of all three together brought a smile to your lips, finally focused on the music rather than the fear.

“Listen to the wind blow, watch the sun rise,” the lyrics came like a second nature to you, all of the anxiety floating away as the words fell from your mouth. If only you knew how brutally truthful the words would turn out to be, you never would have played the song in the first place. “Running in the shadows, damn your love, damn your lies.”

“And if you don’t love me now,

You will never love me again,

I can still hear you saying

You would never break the chain.”

Josh joined you on the chorus, singing the backing vocals. On the second chorus, Jake joined, too. They let you sing the verses on your own, but by the time the last chorus came around, you were all shouting the lyrics with each other. On the finishing note, you were breathless and red in the face, but you couldn’t recall a time you felt quite as alive. Your heart was beating against your ribcage, threatening to break free, and the smile on your face was blinding.

“A little?” Sam asked, his grin matching yours.

“I have a lot of free time.” You breathed, a short laugh following the statement. “I have a couple friends I play with at the bars sometimes.”

“That’s more than a hobby, y/n. That’s a passion.” He said, never once breaking his stare away from you. If your face wasn’t already red, the blush your cheeks produced would have been a dead giveaway of your feelings for him. “You’re fantastic.”

“Thank you,” you whispered, unsure of how to take to the kind words.

“I’m just upset we didn’t do that sooner.” Danny said, his palm landing on your back with a pat of encouragement.

“Well, we have all the time in the world.” You shrugged.

“You guys are thinking the same thing, right?” Jake asked, looking around the room. The three boys seemed to have an unspoken agreement, already knowing what he was about to say.

“What?” You asked, feeling left out.

“We’ve been looking for an opening act, if you and your friends are interested.” Jake finally answered. When you looked to him, you half expected him to laugh and tell you he was joking, but his expression had never been more serious.

“O-oh, no,” you laughed “no, I can’t do that.”

“Yeah, you can.” He said, his eyes searching your own, seeming to be looking straight through your soul. He knew you had it in you; he’d seen it that night at the bar. “Come with us.”

“Are you allowed to offer that?” You asked, desperate to divert the attention away from the topic at hand. “Aren’t there contracts and managers and all of that stuff involved.”

“Yeah, we can handle that.” Sam said, just as enthusiastic about the idea. Your eyes darted between the two, unsure if they were pulling your leg.

“I have a job, guys.” You brushed them off.

“That you can always come back to.” Josh spoke now, in complete agreement with the others.

“Don’t have to decide right now. Just think about it.” Danny wrapped his arm around you, pulling you into a side-hug. You felt like the air was stolen from your lungs, baffled at the idea. You couldn’t believe they had enough faith in you to ask such a thing. More than that, you couldn’t believe they liked you enough to want you to join them. You thought it was crazy, completely insane that they offered you something like that without even thinking twice. But, under the shock, you felt a small bubble of excitement. A chance to live your dream; finally a real shot with an option to fall back on. “Play us something else.” Danny spoke again, gently encouraging you to keep going.

“Oh, yeah. Okay.” You nodded, coming back to reality. You thought for a moment, trying to decide on what to play next. When you settled on a song, it only took the boys a few seconds to join in.

The late hours of the morning dwindled until early afternoon, filled with music, chatter and laughter. The spirits were so high that you even managed to forget about your internal dilemma. After a while, the group broke off into smaller conversations and the instruments grew quiet. You took it upon yourself to take a trip to the kitchen, craving a bit more caffeine and a snack to keep you going. You flicked on the coffee maker, filling the top with grounds and pressing the start button. You pulled down a mug, tapping your fingers against the counter as you waited. The stead drip seemed to take forever, your impatience showing more by the second. As you watched, gentle footsteps echoed behind you, letting you know someone had joined you.

You turned, half expecting Jake to be standing behind you, eager to put you through a bit more turmoil. A bubble of excitement arose at the thought of another minute along with him. You were met with a shock, seeing Sam approaching with a small smile stuck on his lips. “Coffee?” You asked, nodding your head towards your empty mug.

“Sure.” He agreed, taking a seat at the table. “I can’t believe you kept all of that talent a secret for so long.” You were still pleasantly surprised that Jake was true to his word; he hadn’t even mentioned the fact he’d seen you perform.

“Guess I was just shy.” You shrugged. “I don’t really tell many people.”

“I don’t know why, y/n. Talent like that should be shared with the world.” He said, honesty radiating from his tone. You didn’t answer, mostly because you weren’t sure how to, so both of you fell into comfortable silence for a few moments. “I think it would be really cool if you came with us.”

“I think it would be, too.” You crossed your arms over your chest, suddenly aware of how hungover you looked. You didn’t share too many moments completely alone with Sam. Now that it was just the two of you, you were very conscious of your appearance. “But there’s a lot of stuff to consider. I have a job, I have to make sure my people are okay with it, too. We only have a few original songs and mostly stick to covers. Fuck, Sam, we don’t even have a name.” You laughed. “We play at dive bars on the weekend and forget about it by Monday. Definitely not prepared to tour with anyone.”

“You’ve got some time to figure it out. You work with music all day, every day. You probably know more about it than we do.” He offered. “You kept up with us really well. Clearly you guys know what you’re doing. I’m sure you sound even better with them.”

“Are you trying to peer pressure me into this?” You gave a smirk, just to let him know you were joking.

“Yeah,” he laughed, not afraid to admit it. “I want you to come.” The profession was blunt, hitting you hard. He’d never been so direct with you about anything, especially concerning anything like that. You watched him, unsure of how to respond. Instead of answering, you turned and filled the mugs with coffee. You sat one in front of him, taking a seat across from him. “I miss you when we’re gone, you know.” You were sure that your heart stopped beating for a moment.

“I miss you guys, too.” You replied once you’d had enough time to process the statement.

“No, I miss you.” He clarified, making sure you knew he wasn’t speaking on a broad spectrum. “I mean, I’m sure they do, too, but I miss you.”

“Oh,” you mustered, feeling the redness creep to your cheeks again. “I miss you when you’re gone, too, Sammy.” He gave you a soft smile, happy to hear the confirmation.

“I was wondering where you were, last night. I didn’t even get to play a game with you. We always play together.” You gave a nervous chuckle, unsure of how to answer.

“I just wasn’t feeling the best.” You lied. “I would’ve asked, but it seemed like you were a bit… occupied.” You trailed off at the end, not really wanting to dive into the specifics of him and the other girl.

“Oh, that girl?” He asked, looking for confirmation. You nodded. “I don’t even know her name, honestly.” Your stomach sank, realizing you’d completely mistaken the situation. Your feelings clouded the interaction, making it seem like the conversation was much more flirtatious than it actually was. You wondered how many times you’d done it over the course of the last few months. You still weren’t sure where the conversation was headed, exactly, so you didn’t respond right away. “I was hoping to talk to you, instead.”

“You never came over.” You said, eyes searching his face for another clue as to what he was hinting at.

“I never do, I get too nervous.” He chuckled. You leaned back in your chair, taking in his words as he spoke. You weren’t sure you were understanding the intent of his conversation, and you weren’t sure if you wanted to. “You and Jake seemed pretty close last night.” Your eyes widened, shocked that he had even noticed the interaction.

“Uh, yeah, I guess.” You shrugged. He watched you, waiting for something else. When you didn’t respond, he looked to his mug on the table, picking it up and taking a sip.

“Just be careful,” He said, looking back to you. You cocked your head to the side, wondering what the warning was for, or why he thought he was the one who had to give it.

“There’s nothing to ‘be careful’ about.” You replied. “We just played beer pong together.” You chuckled, wondering if he could see through the lie. The words seemed to perk him up a little bit, but you didn’t want to read too much into the details, just in case you were wrong.

“I think he might be looking for something more than that.” Sam gave another soft smile, but it was more sullen than the last. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Sam, you don’t have to worry. I can handle myself.” You assured him.

“I always worry about you.” The statement itself was friendly enough, and you wouldn’t have thought anything of it had he not reached over and rested his hand on top of yours. The small action was enough to send your stomach into butterflies and make your breath catch in your throat. When you looked up to meet his eyes, he was already watching your face. He didn’t move his hand, but gave you the freedom to pull away if you wanted. You noticed, in that moment, just how similar him and his brother were. Not just in looks, but their expressions, too. You could go as far as to say even down to the illusive nature of their words and actions.

You thought it must be some violent trick from the universe, a scheme to make you the laughing stock of the world. There was no logical reason that you’d fallen into Jake’s hands, and shared such an intimate moment with Sam right after. A moment in which you had been craving for so long, one where he seemed to be showing you a hint of what you were looking for the whole time. If you had waited just one more day, you imagined you wouldn’t be feeling so guilty for wanting to lean over and kiss him. But, as you sat with his hand over yours, the only thing you could think of was your rising sense of remorse, stronger than any you’d felt before. This time, it wasn’t on behalf of your feelings for Sam; it was on behalf of Jake, and your fear of hurting him. A fear of losing him, even. So far, your shame was based off your crush on Sam and your guilt for sleeping with his brother despite that feeling. This time, you’d actually found yourself involved with Jake, even if you were unsure of the nature of the relationship. It felt dirty feeling this way about Jake’s brother, now, after his hands had been on you so intimately. It almost felt like a betrayal to him.

You wondered, if you had put a stop to Jake’s antics the night before, if Sam would still be across from you with intent on professing such feelings. After so long of waiting, you thought he might only be interested in you when the idea of you being with someone else arose. That thought pained you more than the rest. In attempt to satiate the thought, you opted to believe you were looking much too far into the interaction. It was a friendly conversation, and a gesture that matched. Just two people drinking coffee, experiencing the lull of a hangover and seeking some form of comfort.

“So, it was just a friendly game?” He asked, knowing the answer but wanting to hear the desired response, instead.

“Yeah,” you whispered, nodding along with your words. You both knew you were lying, but it didn’t make the difference for him. “Why?”

“Because I’d hate for my favourite girl to have feelings for my brother, and not me.” Your eyes fluttered closed, the statement hitting you like a train. You thought you might be sick; the sound producing a much worse feeling than any part of the hangover. A day sooner, and you’d be jumping for joy. Now, you wished he hadn’t said anything at all. Although you still thought that his intent was to keep you on his line instead of someone else’s, you prayed you were wrong. As gross as you felt about it, the reciprocation of feelings was euphoric. Even so, the knowledge only made a messy situation even worse.

The part of you that was in love with Sam was begging you to fall into him, to revel in the admission and give in to his affection. The part of you that was immersed in Jake was screaming at you to stand up and walk away, to pretend you hadn’t heard a thing that he said. Instead, you sat, staring at Sam wide-eyed and void of any response. A thought worse than the ones previous surfaced, that maybe this wasn’t a coincidence, or conscious choice that Sam made, waiting until after Jake made a move. Maybe this was your repayment for succumbing to the devil’s temptation. The conversation you shared with Danny the night before was pounding against your skull. Perhaps, this was your karma. You’d failed miserably at utilizing your lesson, and this was the universe’s indignant punishment.

The most disgraceful knowledge of all, was that your moral compass was completely destroyed; the need to have Sam in your life was debilitating, and the thought of never having Jake again was paralyzing. For a moment, the sinful little devil made its reappearance, working hard at convincing you to have them both. The idea of keeping your feelings a secret was long gone, and was replaced the new idea of entertaining both boys just so you wouldn’t have to go without. As misguided as it was, the notion was the most sound you could come up with, because the thought of having neither was unbearable.

The last piece of crucial information was unknown to you; the brothers knew exactly what they were doing. Both taking a keen interest in you long ago, and only finally engaging in the battle of courtship. They had never been able to turn down a bit of friendly competition, especially when the prize was so grand. And brothers they were, because that same streak of evil ran through both. Ever so slowly pulling you in with their captivating eyes and electrifying touches; driving you crazy without doing much of anything at all. As innocent as their intentions may have been, as amiable as the competition seemed, there was no escaping the fact that someone would end up suffering. With everyone hoping it wouldn’t be them, you all failed to see the misery you were wishing upon the others.

It was a situation that left the sinister laughing; the devil was only awaiting the downfall.

Heartless challenge,

pick your path and I’ll pray

#gvf #greta van fleet #jake kiszka #josh gvf #sam gvf #danny gvf #danny wagner #jake gvf #sam kiszka #gvf fic #jake kiszka series #jake kiszka fic #jake kiszka smut #jake kiszka x reader #jake kiszka fanfic #sam kiszka fic #sam kiszka smut #sam kiszka x reader #sam kiszka gvf #jake kiszka gvf #josh kiszka #greta van fleet imagine #greta van fleet smut #greta van fleet fic #greta van fleet fanfic #gvf fanfiction #builtbybrokenbells #gvf smut #gvf x reader #gvf series

[perfectsunlight]

(𝟒𝟔) - ✰ 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐔𝐒 ✰

𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌: none

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬: 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮

polar opposites, but still complimentary. that was the best way to describe your friendship with minjeong.

you were more like the summer. vibrant, outgoing, comforting. shades of yellow and tones of orange. the sunlight sparkling on the ocean in the middle of july, and the golden sunsets that descended in the evening. you were the light in everyone’s life, including minjeong’s at one point.

she was more like the winter. cool, icy, and mysterious. shy and reserved, soft spoken and silent. still like the deep sea waters. the unmistakable morning chill in the middle of january, the midnight rain, and the hues of raven shaded shadows. minjeong was the light in your darkness for at least 12 years.

but like the sun and the moon, you two could only be so close for so long. even in nature, distance is inevitable between opposing forces.

-

“it's not nice to ignore people.”

minjeong’s head leaned back as she hung from the monkeybars above her. the sounds of children playing and laughing filled the outskirts of her conversation with you. well, it was less of a conversation, and more like trying to get a wall to answer you. 

september air and afternoon skies observed the interaction between the two of you, the faint breeze kissing your cheeks as you stood below the playground equipment. minjeong had been ignoring you for almost the entire school day.

why you may ask? because you didn’t get picked for partners in the obstacle course.

the winter-like girl’s eyes remained on your figure as she hung upside down, her two braids falling down in the same direction as her. 

minjeong was about to answer, but she accidentally slid too far and ended up falling right on top of you. 

the two of you hit the ground with force, the playground sand cushioning the fall below the both of you. well, you mostly cushioned her, anyway.

“owww! minjeong!” you groaned and pouted. “that hurt!”

minjeong instantly felt bad. she didn’t mean to fall on top of you like that, it was just an accident. however, she couldn’t help but feel bad about it.

“say you’re sorry.” you said as you tried to move minjeong’s body off of you. the other girl shifted and got off of you before looking over her shoulder to face you. 

“im sorry.” 

your eyes met hers, pout still on your lips. minjeong had only apologized for falling on you, not for ignoring you. 

“for falling on me? or for ignoring me?” you asked directly.

minjeong’s tongue poked her inner cheek. she was still upset that you two weren’t partners earlier, but you were still asking her to apologize. “for falling on you.” she answered timidly.

your jaw clenched as you shook your head quickly. your best friend wasn’t off the hook this easily.

“that’s not how it works, you have to be sorry for both.” you tried to explain while brushing the dirt off of her skirt. “we’re best friends, you have to be sorry.”

a few beats of silence passed, where minjeong thought about your words carefully. in her eyes, she didn’t do anything wrong, but then she realized neither did you. it wasn’t your fault that the teacher had separated you two.

“okay, im sorry for both.”

you grinned and interlocked elbows with her before dragging her to the swingset. “come on minjeongie, you can push me first.”

the other girl’s brows furrowed in confusion at your comment. “why?”

your playful eyes met her stoic ones as you smiled at her, not faltering at all. “because you ignored me today, so you have to make up for it.”

minjeong shook her head, clearly unamused. push you on the swings? that was no fun for her. she wanted you to push her. 

despite this, she spent the rest of recess pushing you on the swingset with a small smile on her face. your laughter was contagious, after all.

and of course it didn’t take long for minjeong to stop being fully upset, especially when you offered to give her one of your juice boxes after school.

-

“y/n, i don't know. it seems like a scam, i don’t even know the company name.” minjeong tried to reason, her head in her palm as she stared at you pacing around her room. she had explained to you how she got scouted at one of the recent dance festivals she attended, and how a lady asked her if she wanted to audition to try and become a celebrity. 

she didn’t think much of it, as a matter of fact, she thought it was just a con artist. but you on the other hand? thought it was something worth looking into.

“min, i don’t know why, but i have a good feeling about this.” you looked over at her with a firm, honest gaze. the audition was in two days, and she would have to take a trip to seoul for it if she decided to go. her parents had told her she needed to decide by tonight, which was why you came over to try and convince her to do it.

minjeong blew her brown hair out of her face as she huffed. she was torn. this was a potentially dangerous situation. for all she knew, they could kidnap her and send her off to some foreign country. 

“i’ll go with you,” you blurted out, making the other girl’s eyebrows raise. “i’ll go with you, so that way you won’t be by yourself.”

any other day of the week, she loathed your impulsive and eager personality. she was still recovering from the other day, when you had decided to tie your shoelaces together to make “the world’s biggest shoelace knot” in the middle of your study hall together.

minejong was asleep on her desk and didn’t realize what you had done until the bell woke her up, and you two had to stay 20 minutes after school to undo the shoelaces.

however, today she seemed somewhat grateful for your impulsive and encouraging bad decisions. was this a bad decision? maybe, but it was something you seemed to really wanted her to do, and she couldn’t say no to you forever.

the dancer’s gaze softened. she was more appreciative that you offered to give up your weekend to go on this sketchy audition trip with her and her parents. especially, since this weekend was the class field trip to the aquarium. minjeong knew how much you loved the sea animals, and ever since the trip was announced, you would not shut up about it.

you’d send her hundreds of videos and pictures of different sea creatures and plants, to the point where minjeong changed your contact name to “national geographic.”

yet, here you were, giving up the one thing you were looking forward to all semester for, just for her.

“but what about the aquarium trip?” she asked softly. she felt bad knowing you would offer to give up that fun experience, but you never saw minejong as a burden. she was your best friend, and you would do anything for her.

“the aquarium animals are already celebrities,” you joked and threw one of minjeong’s empty backpacks at her figure. “my best friend is not.”

she caught it before it hit her face, thankfully, but she couldn’t help but smile at your response. it was in that moment that minjeong knew she would go to the audition with you at her side.

“now come on, you need to pack.”   

“so do you.”    

“not if i just steal your clothes.”    “ew.”

-

“you have no reason to be nervous, min.”

minjeong’s leg bounced out of anxious habit. she knew it was just like every other dance performance she had done, except for some reason, even she knew that this felt a lot more intimidating and professional than before.

just the rooms they had escorted you two into to wait were very nice. whatever organization this was, it was definitely not some low balling scam. 

“you and i both know this is a lot more than what we were expecting.” she said flatly, running a hand through her hair. the brunette was up next, and she was absolutely losing her mind.

“but you’re kim minjeong, a lot more than they are expecting as well.” you replied sternly. you hated seeing your best friend doubt herself. minjeong was hands down the best dancer in your school, and you knew that if anyone was going to make it somewhere, it was her.

the brunette was startled when you put a hand on her shoulder. her ever stoic eyes met yours, and you only smiled, and your face was like the sun. your presence was helpful in itself, countering each and every one of her doubts as they filled her mind.

“i know i don’t say it a lot,” she said slowly, putting her hand on top of yours. “but thank you.”

you tilted your head to the side and smiled. “thank me? for what?” a small chuckle escaped your lips as you spoke. “for stealing your juice so you are forced to drink water?”

the ice-like girl rolled her eyes and scoffed. “i am trying to have a sentimental moment with you, for once.” she stated flatly, but a small smirk graced her lips.

“but thank you for being here.”

you didn’t get the chance to reply because a lady walked in the room and called for minjeong. her heart was racing, but for just one moment, all the raging thoughts seemed to still as you gave her a thumbs up. 

at the time, you didn’t know that minejong performed the best she ever had in her life in that small dance room. and it was all thanks to you.

but it was all thanks to minjeong’s audition, that you were scouted that same day. SM thought you were gorgeous, fit to be an idol on the stage. they actually got your information from minjeong herself after she finished her audition.

she never told you, though. but you eventually found out anyway, it wasn’t hard to put the clues together. minjeong was always looking out for you, even if she never admitted it.

-

on the first day of being trainees, you two probably had one of the worst days of your lives.

the moment you arrived at the company building, you had gotten yourselves locked in the fire escape because you went down the wrong stairwell. being stuck in there with all of your bags was not exactly the start to the “celebrity dream” that you two had in mind.

once you got out, courtesy of one of the staff members who walked past, you then found out you two weren’t rooming together. minjeong wanted to riot when she found that out, but you had told her that since your dorms were down the hall from each other, that it would be easy to still see each other all the time.

later in the day, you somehow managed to fall down an entire flight of stairs when bringing up one of minjeong’s bags, and the other girl almost killed you when a group of the senior trainees walked by and saw it all happen. 

minjeong also found out that she left her pillow at home, meaning for the first fourteen days, she was going to have to use one of her duffle bags instead. she definitely was going to need to see a chiropractor once she had her first day off.

to finally top it all off, you two found out you only had one class together, and that was vocal lessons. however, you had still remained optimistic, and insisted that you two would still see each other outside of lessons. you also mentioned that minjeong would be able to focus better without you being in there to distract her.

you were wrong, of course. you didn’t know it at the time, but minjeong truly appreciated your antics. they helped remind her that it was okay to still have fun.

it was actually in minjeong’s dance lessons that she met jimin. minjeong remembered the first time she saw the raven haired girl walk into the room. minjeong was no expert in feelings by any means, but she couldn’t deny the way her heart got excited whenever she saw the taller girl.

at first she thought it was just because jimin was so nice to everyone, and looked like a literal disney princess. but as the weeks went by, minjeong noticed the lingering feelings in her heart.

-

“y/n?”

minjeong whispered in the dark. you two managed to climb on top of the roof without getting caught. she took this opportunity to finally talk to you about something that had been bothering her for a while.

“yes?” you answered softly, looking over at her with a raised eyebrow. minjeong was always either laughing with you, or silently judging you. to see her so serious about something was rare, even with you.

a few beats of silence passed by as she tried to gather her thoughts. there was no easy way to explain this. the ambience of the city below filled the otherwise empty silence between the two of you, until finally minjeong spoke.

“how do you know if you like someone?”

your eyebrows shot up instantly. in all your years of knowing minjeong, the closest thing she ever got to liking someone was this guy in 5th grade who gave her his entire sandwich in return for a hug.

you thought about teasing minjeong, but you knew right now she was being vulnerable with you, and you wanted to respect that. 

“hm,” you paused to think for a few moments. “well, i think when you like someone, you obviously enjoy having them around.” you explained.

your best friend scoffed, rolling her eyes playfully. “other than that, y/n/n. i’ve figured that out already.”

“when i say that, i mean it though.” you reasoned. “you like having them around more than anyone else, and when you’re with them, you feel like nothing else really matters.”

a comfortable silence existed between the two of you once more, until winter spoke up once more.

“i think i like girls, y/n.”

your head whipped in her direction, jaw dropped. “really?” you whispered in disbelief. never in your life had you heard minjeong be this direct about her feelings. “minjeong,” you snickered and shoved her shoulder. “i could have told you that, years ago.”

she narrowed her eyes at you before looking back up at the midnight sky. it wasn’t a perfectly clear night, but the stars and moon still peaked through the clouds enough to serve as something worth losing sleep over to look at.

“i think i like girls, too.”

it was minjeong’s turn to give herself whiplash when she heard your comment. her eyebrows were raised, and she stared at you with her jaw clenched. “you do?” she whispered softly.

you nodded your head slowly, a small chuckle escaping your lips. “i mean, im pretty sure i do.” you paused before turning your head away from her, a faint blush forming at your cheeks. 

“it would be pretty awkward if i had kissed a girl and said i didn’t like it.” 

minjeong’s jaw dropped at this revelation. “you did what?!” she squeaked, eyes nearly popping out of their sockets. never in her life had she even seen you kiss anyone other than your stuffed dinosaur. 

“when was this??” she asked, moving her head closer to yours, trying to examine your facial features for any signs of you lying. except, given how shy you were getting, minjeong immediately knew you were not lying about this.

“uh,” you rubbed the back of your neck with a small smile. “the day before yesterday.”

her arms folded over her chest as she glared at you. “and you didn’t tell me? im hurt. i thought we were friends.” she said quickly.

you rolled your eyes and shoved her shoulder once more. “don’t be so dramatic,” you saw a smile return to her lips. 

“was she cute at least?” minjeong asked in a whisper, smirking in your face as she teased.

as she did this, you couldn’t help but let out a laugh. she definitely knew which questions to ask. 

“see,” you pointed a finger in her face. “this is why you’re my best friend.”

minejong couldn’t help but laugh with you, which made you start laughing as well. the two of you spent the rest of that night laughing and talking about your sexualities, and how funny it was that everything the two of you did in life somehow always involved each other.

as opposite as you two may seemed, your decade long friendship proved your unity. 

complementary opposites, contrasting in every single way possible, but somehow cohesively fitting together. where minjeong was rough, you were smooth. where you were upside down, she was inside out. no matter what, it seemed like you two would always have each other.

because no matter how different the sun and the moon may be, they still worked together every day. if the day was too hot, the night would be cool. if the moon was too cold, the sun would provide warmth.

you always provided that for the people around you, even without realizing it. minjeong always described it that way, anyway.

you shone like the sun, like the star you were. every room you entered, immediately brightened. your outgoing demeanor and energy was the backbone for every trainee group you were in. 

it was because of your warmth, and your light, that landed you a spot in the lineup with the girls. even the company could see how far your light reached, and they would be foolish to not capitalize on that.

because even in nature, things could only grow and bloom in the sun’s warmth. it’s much harder for things to grow in the absence of such light.

maybe that’s why jimin loved you so much. karina was like a sunflower, always facing towards the sun; it was just unfortunate that the company’s sunflower just so happened to be the only girl minjeong had ever liked.

it was even more unfortunate, that the visual sunflower herself was never facing the moon, but rather, always at her sun: you.

┊┊┊┊⋆ ✧　 　 · 　 ✧　✵ ┊┊┊☆ *　　 * ⋆ ┊┊★ * ┊┊* . *　✦ ┊☆ ° ✧　 　 · ★*

you and jimin met as trainees before she debuted, and you two never felt more in love. however, once she breaks up with you before her debut, you completely leave SM entertainment under the notion of needing a fresh start. you eventually debuted a few years later in le sserafim, where you met huh yunjin and have slowly started developing feelings for the idol. much to karina's dismay, she hates to see you have moved on, but deep in your own heart, you still can't help but feel as if maybe she has forgotten about you.

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @captivq , @wonyoluvr , @yunalvrrr , @spritin , @babycubchae , @vnschldd , @sserafimez , @chaersly , @rosiehrs , @baldd , @bwljules , @jenaissantesworld , @jennasluma , @dream-chasers-things , @lcv3lies , @elyds , @archerheejin , @vnschldd , @skisk1 , @cfvgbhndun-new-blog , @silantryoo , @phamminji , @bzeus28 , @writingficsblog , @strangegirlcode , @uzumakioden , @noiacha , @sserabey , @archerheejin , @pindoris , @yourstrulytrissmerigold , @jisooftme , @yacii , @ddrummie , @justalittledissociation

[ 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 ]

#smau #kpop #kpop smau #aespa #lesserafim #yunjin x reader #aespa x reader #lesserafim x reader #huh yunjin #karina x reader #yu jimin #yu jimin x reader #about you #perfectsunlight

[haemosexuality]

im rewatching she-ra and naturally im gonna want to write about it a lot. starting by breaking down the catradora conflict origin story scene from s01e02 the sword part 2

people have said this before but the most important thing to keep in mind here is how different their understanding of whats going on is. theyre both approaching this with completely different views and so they misunderstand what the other means.

Adora: There's no time. We have to put a stop this.

Catra: What? Why?

Adora: Because this is a civilian town. Look around! These aren't insurgents. They're innocent people.

Catra: Yeah, sure. Innocent people who kidnapped a Horde officer. Now come on, let's get you back to the Fright Zone. Shadow Weaver is freaking out. [laughing] It'd be funny if she weren't such a terrible person.

so immediately theres two things i wanna say about this part, about how catra reacts to stuff. first off, something we learn about catra throughout the whole show and especially in the portal-alternative-reality, is that shes big on Pretending Nothing Is Wrong. whenever shes feeling upset or angry about something, she will start joking around and acting like shes just totally super chill guys, dw ("Ugh, whatever. It's not like I even care. I just wanna get out of this dump at some point before I dieee of boredom). Shes acting like that in this scene. Adora was missing for hours, shadow weaver was breathing down her neck and threatening her, she was already worried adora might have left at this point. she cant let adora know how worried she was tho, so shes all jokes and fast paced conversation. To Adora, tho, it just looks like catra doesnt care, like she doesnt understand the gravity of the situation.

and the other thing is that honestly? I dont think catra does care. about the town, i mean. i think catra was ready for war in a way adora never was. theyre both seeing combat for the first time here, and adora hates it. training for war is completely different than being in the battlefield, and adora couldnt handle it. face to face with it she couldnt tolerate seeing people suffering and dying, houses being burned down, a whole village destroyed. when the horde brainwashed adora into thinking they were only doing the necessary to save etheria, she completely and fully believed it, and when faced with the reality of the horde she immediately realized how wrong that was. Catra, tho, could not care less. she never believed in what the horde said, she knew full well what the horde did, so this isnt a surprise for her. and i do think shes naturally a bit sadistic, or at least growing up among the violence of the horde made her so. either way, shes seeing battle here for the first time and shes completely fine with it. doesnt even spare it all a second glance. why would she care about these people she never met if the most important thing in the world is right here in front of her? (i think even if adora hadnt left that night and went into the battlefield as a force captain, she wouldve ended up deserting. she cant stand seeing people suffer and she cant stand not saving them. shes too good, too selfless for that. catra isnt.) (also she is so ready to kill at all times. she loves violence. i once saw someone say how shadow weaver thought adora was the "cutthroat, ruthless warrior" when that was actually catra and they were totally right)

adora is also trying something futile here, she doesnt need to explain to catra that the horde is bad and hurts innocent ppl because catra has known that all her life

Adora: Catra, no. I can't go back. Not until the Horde leaves this town alone. You have to help me.

Catra: What are you saying?

Adora: I’m saying, this is wrong. They've been lying to us, manipulating us. Hordak, Shadow Weaver, all of them.

Catra: Duh! Did ya just figure that out? Manipulation is Shadow Weaver's whole thing. She's been messing with our heads since we were kids.

(the captions in the pics are slightly wrong, nvm that.) everything i said before. adora just realized all of this, while catra has always known, probably because the abuse adora suffered was more manipulation-and-brainwashing, while shadow weaver always made clear to catra that she didnt give a shit about her, so she suffered physical abuse with little attempt to convince her this was fine.

the "what are you saying?" is one of the things that show how different their perspective is. adora is talking about going against the horde and helping the town, while catra immediately gets more personal. what do you mean? are you saying that you might leave the horde? leave me?

Adora: How could you possibly be okay with that?

adora means, how could you be ok with the horde lying about its actions, and killing innocent people? how could you be ok with the horde raising us to do the same? and catra hears, how could you be ok with shadow weaver and hordak abusing us?

Catra: Because, it doesn't matter what they do. The two of us look out for each other. And soon we'll be calling the shots. Now come on, can we go home already?

catra replies: because, i love you. because you have my back and i have yours. because nothing really bad can happen as long as we have each other, remember? and soon enough, we'll be powerful enough that they cant hurt us anymore. Adora hears, because i dont care about these people dying, the only thing thats important is you and i. and anyways, soon its gonna be Us killing them, isnt that good? lets go back home to the evil murder place.

Adora: I'm not going home, Catra. I can't. Not after everything I've seen. Come with me. You don't have to go back there. We can fix this.

adora says: im starting to realize now how wrong i was about everything. we're not the good guys, and i cant stand for that. i cant stand around and watch people get hurt. i cant stand around and watch you get hurt. lets leave, together, and have a better life, please. lets do the right thing.

Catra: Are you kidding? You've known these people for, what, a couple of hours? And now you're just gonna throw everything away for them?

catra hears, shes willing to leave me. after everything i did for her, all that i took, all of these years of us being together, she would still leave me. she would break our promise. she would leave me behind.

and then she straight up electrocutes adora. ok

she says it was a reflex, but i dont know if i believe her. i dont think she likes hurting adora (not physically. not by this point, anyways), but i do think that shes the type to lash out when upset and immediately regret it, then feel guily about it. which just makes her more upset. :(

Catra: Oh, man. That was a lot stronger than I thought. Are you okay?

Adora: Why are you doing this?

Catra: Because you left me! And if I don't bring you back, Shadow Weaver’s gonna have my head. So, enough with your weird little identity crisis and let's go home already. Or do I need to zap you again?

thats the last time they talk. adora gets teleported away by glimmer, and when they see each other again, its clear that they both made their choice.

the moment adora showed catra she was willing to leave her, there was no coming back for them. because catra would never get over that. she'd spend all her life in that hellscape, putting up with abuse and bullying and probably so much more we dont get to see, because of the promise adora made her. and, in her eyes, adora was ready to leave her on the first opportunity that came up. that hurt. that broke her. and that released something really ugly inside of her.

cue in 2,5 years of homoerotic rivalry and trauma. ok post over if you read this i hope you liked it <3 bye

#autism won today this took me 1 hour to write #she ra #catra #character analysis #ig?? #edit while reading old spop posts by other ppl i realized my mind might have plagiarized this from a post i read several years ago. my bad #it wasnt a conscious decision

[writeshite]

Im on my knees begging for more Homelander stuff

You Are My Sunshine, My Only Sunshine

Summary:

You flick his forehead, “Yeah, well, at least I don’t wear hair gel, which, fun fact, is flammable.” You chase him around the room, hands in the air, and your little suns rush past him, leaving dents in the walls, “I’m gonna fry you, John,” you cackle when he tries to fly away and ends up with his head through the ceiling, you fall to the floor in full-blown laughter.

Pairings:

Homelander x Male!Reader

Tags:

Supe!Reader | Childhood Friends to Lovers | Crack Treated Like Fanfic

Words: 1816

Author's Note:

Do I know what this is? No. Hope you like it.

Your room in the Vought labs is average; you’ve counted every dent, corner, and scorched burn mark a hundred times over, so it’s strange when you see the new face. The face in question belongs to another boy, about your age, his hair is swept well, and he looks normal enough. He looked tired, though, like he’d just been running from someone and hadn’t expected his hiding place to have someone else in it. His confusion was replaced by curiosity when he realizes the shiny glow of your skin, like the sun, your skin is quite literally like the solar celestial. The burn marks, your outbursts, the human shape in the burn marks, Vought employees that thought it’d be fun to piss off a child with the power to turn you to ash. Your eyes are just white, with no pupils, no color, just glowy white things in your head.

“Wow! You’re shiny!” He reaches out to you, but you flinch back and try to warn him off, but he ignores you, grabs your arm, and he marvels at it. “That’s so not fair! You got a better power than me!” 

You just stare at him, he’s not burning or screaming; aside from the edge of his sleeves charring up, he’s perfectly fine. “You can touch me?”

He huffs, “Yeah. My name’s John; what’s yours?”

John was a curious case, he was a lab rat like you, but he had a lot more freedom - mainly because he was a little brat and used his power to get what he wanted -  he was also your only friend, well, technically, he was the only friend you hadn't turned into barbeque. As mentioned, if John wanted something, then he would get it, so he wanted to be your friend, and there was nothing the scientists could do about it. 

“John, what are we doing?” He'd rushed into your room, and dragged you away without explanation.

“Just trust me,” he responds. 

It’s way past curfew, and if you get caught, you might get in trouble; you’re pulled into another area, and your light fills the room; John moves to stand in front of you, hands spread out in a ta-da gesture, “Surprise! We’re gonna be roommates!”

“Really? How? Vought wouldn’t….”

“Fuck Vought—”

You put your hands on his mouth, “That’s a bad word.” John licks your hand, and you draw back with a disgusted look on your face.

“See, this is our drawing wall, and this is our bed, and I even got more blankets in case you get cold.”

“How would I get cold? I’m the sun, you dodo,” you remind him.

His face scrunches up, “I know that! I was just trying to be nice,” he huffs, punching your arm; you smack his face and laugh when he flies into a wall. “Meanie,” he pouts. The two of you play fight for a bit, and when the Vought scientists come in the morning, they find you side by side, hands together. When they try to separate you, John breaks a few arms before they get the hint, and John’s room becomes your room.

It doesn’t end there; pretty soon, John decides it’s not enough and demands to have you by his side at every instance. So you clap when John gets his training done, and he catches the little suns you throw in the air. When he doesn’t pay attention to the education side of things, you stay up tutoring him, and sometimes, when you’re upset, he’ll make his shitty shadow puppets, and you wipe away the tears laughing. 

You go from child to teenager, and both your powers grow with you; John’s eyes hurt when he opens them, the red beams are more powerful now, and he sucks at flying. Parts of your body will flicker, and you'll have human skin for a brief few moments, but those moments are few and far in between. John says it’s stupid, “Why would you want human skin? You’re cooler than that,” he insists, but you sigh.

“Don’t you wish you were normal, like normal, normal?” you ask back; his face does the little scrunchy thing when he’s confused, “you know, like the kids we see on TV, parents, cousins, grandparents, normal birthdays and actual rooms, not this.” You gesture around you, your shared ‘room’ had seen minor upgrades, with the inclusion of a larger bed and actual drawers, but it still wasn’t a proper room. “Sometimes I wish I could actually touch things without worrying they’ll melt in my hands.”

John headbutts you, “Maybe, but if I were normal, then I wouldn’t have you, and I’d be a nobody.”

“With a face that ugly,” you joke, “I doubt it.”

He huffs, sticking out his tongue, “At least I’m not a lightbulb.” 

You flick his forehead, “Yeah, well, at least I don’t wear hair gel, which, fun fact, is flammable.” You chase him around the room, hands in the air, and your little suns rush past him, leaving dents in the walls, “I’m gonna fry you, John,” you cackle when he tries to fly away and ends up with his head through the ceiling, you fall to the floor in full-blown laughter.

On occasion, this lady comes to see you, well, not you, mostly John; she babies him every chance she gets. Coming in between you and him whenever she can. Madelyn Stillwell, if you heard the others right, she must be high on the totem pole if they let her take John anywhere she wants, whenever she wants. Despite John's reassurances, you don’t like her; any time she comes too close, you make sure her outfit of the day gets burned somehow. It’s probably why she hates you. Once John comes back from one of their field trips looking lost and barely utters a word for a few days, but after every other field trip, he gushes about her like the mother he never had.

The childhood euphoria doesn’t last long; Vought decides to make the two of you the faces of their brand, and they wind up some bullshit about the two of you finding some calling in an ordinary childhood. You don’t care about the details as much as they do and roll your eyes every second they force you to memorize it. Then they get you costumes; that was your favorite bit, watching John squirm as they fit you in various suits - his hero costume looks like the American flag took a shat all over it; yours is like a solar eclipse like it absorbed all the light, a contrast to your abilities, and between the two of you, you share a gold accent.

“I feel ridiculous,” John grimaces, “I mean, look at this thing; why are there so many stars?!”

“Yeah, you do look stupid,” you agree with him; holding the ends of your cape, you turn on the spot, marveling at your starry pattern, much smaller than his; it resembles the night sky, and every time you move it looks like it’s moving on its own. “I look amazing, they said my Supe name’s going to be Eclipse because I take away the light for myself.”

John sulks, “How come you get the cool stuff?” He sits on the floor, arms folded as his cheeks puff up childishly. 

You roll your eyes, flicking his forehead, “I was only joking; you look fine.” That doesn’t stop the pouting; in fact, John just turns away from you, so you resort to plan B. You’d seen something like this once; one of the Vought employees had made her girlfriend happy by kissing him, so that’s what you do, you kiss John’s cheek. It doesn’t make him happy per se, but he stops sulking, and now you’re not sure what to do because you just stare at each other. John’s cheeks have a slight tinge of red to them.

“You kissed me,” he mutters.

“Yeah, don’t expect me to do it again,” you shove him and run off; John sits there, hand on his cheek, as he watches you leave.

Vought brings in other Supes over time; some survive, some don’t, and those that do survive get put with you and John in the Seven - the world’s greatest team of Supes. The lineup changes one or two times, but right now, it’s you, John, Queen Maeve, Stormfront, the Deep, Starlight, A-Train, and Black Noir. You go from a lab rat to a celebrity, interviews, paparazzi, fans, merch, the whole nine yards, and you get moved up to the 99th floor. Your room is ever bigger, and you spend the first few days just staring out at the city, John sneaks into your room a lot, and the two of you just sit. 

You talk, but sometimes, John is too busy staring at you to respond; unlike before, you could switch the glowy skin off. The first time you did it, you practically cried in relief; back then, John had said you looked weird, but now he just stared at you like you were the most remarkable thing on Earth. You snap your fingers in his face, “Hello, Earth to John.”

“Huh?”

“You were staring again, weirdo,” you tell him.

“Sorry,” he says, looking away. Your hands are intertwined, and you’re leaning back on him; when you glance over at him, he’s got a red blush creeping up his skin. You grab his chin, tilting it down, and you kiss him again, this time on the lips. It’s fleeting and brief, but it’s enough, and John’s face is entirely red for a while.

You don't have a relationship per se; more like brief rendezvous in the hallways, tag teaming for missions; Edgar makes his displeasure pretty clear, but you don’t pay him any mind, and he, at the very least, does the favor of keeping it to himself. The general public is equally as perceptive, and before long, the internet blows up over it; Madelyn is very much displeased by it and makes it known.

“It’s a distraction to your careers and dedication to Vought International.”

“And trying to set him up with Starlight and having me with the Deep isn’t?” You ask, creeping close to her, “John may hold a soft spot for you, but I don’t, try and come in between him and me, and I’ll turn you to barbecue.” 

“You wouldn’t dare,” she challenges, stepping back anyway; she goes to say more, but the doors slide open, and John enters the room. He looks beat and barely pays her any mind; coming up to you, he kisses your forehead, Madelyn clears her throat when he starts to rant, and he turns to her in surprise. Their conversation is brief, but John ends it with a yawn, and as Madelyn leaves for the elevator, you smile, drawing a line across your neck to get the message clear.

End Note:

Reader is a living sun btw, if I didn't make it clear enough. I don't know what this is, I just wanted to write some childhood friends to lovers kinda thing. Hope you enjoyed reading this shite, stay hydrated.

#homelander x male reader #the boys imagine #shiterequests #homelander x reader

[wooahaes]

sappy

pairing: non-idol!dino x fem!reader [reader has a uterus]

word count: 0.8k~

warnings: menstruation tw! reader is emotional on her period. food mention. no proofreading because im lazy rn babeyyy

daisy’s notes: this is gendered purely because i almost cried while eating dinner bc it was so good. im not even a huge crier. it was just so good :(

Chan was fairly used to the way your emotions fluctuated during your monthly cycle. The part he could never fully get used to was the sight of you crying over... well, the most random things. Your emotions weren’t always “sobs over everything” like you had initially made it out to be, but...

“Oh... Honey, you’re crying again.” He reached out, wiping away your tears. “Is it that good?”

He’d brought you takeout when you asked him to since you’d been craving something from Jun’s restaurant, and you’d warned him that you weren’t going to wait for him to get back from the bathroom (something he was fine with: he knew you hadn’t eaten since lunch and likely needed to take more pain medicine soon). So he walked back in and immediately saw you curled up on the couch with your food in your hand, already tearing up.

You nodded. “Yeah... It’s really, really good, Channie.”

The earnest sound in your voice nearly made him laugh--god, he adored you. He’d seen you cry over a good chocolate bar while on your period and had to keep himself from laughing as he consoled you. His laughter was never coming from a place of mockery, but always endearment. Recounting the stories to Seungkwan and Vernon once made him realize it, before he immediately realized that it was something you might not want out there.

But he had laughed, and came back down with a “God, I love her,” that made him realize just how much of his heart you’d stolen. He immediately apologized and asked for them to not let it slide that he, y’know, slipped up and mentioned you crying over a chocolate bar (or a video of ducklings you’d found) until he knew you’d be fine with that sort of thing.

(Thankfully, you were: you told him you made fun of yourself sometimes for how sensitive you were. You didn’t care if he shared the stories as long as he wasn’t being mean about it.)

“I’m glad you’re enjoying it,” he said, getting out his own meal.

“Jun drew on the container again,” you said a moment later. You pulled the styrofoam down so it covered your food, revealing where he’d drawn a little stick figure kitten and a few flowers--alongside a little message saying ‘hi!’ to you. “It was also really cute--” You sniffled. “We should go see him next time.”

Oh boy.

“Like--he doesn’t have to draw on the container but he always does it for us--” You sniffled again, and Chan could see tears prickling at the corners of your eyes. “You have really sweet friends, Channie--”

And then you were already crying, babbling about how much you appreciated his friends and how they were always so nice to you. You stopped in at a coffee place the other day and Joshua happened to be there, and he offered to buy your drink and chat for a few minutes. And then there was the time Seungkwan brought medicine to both your apartment and his when the two of you were sick, taking a minute to console you since you were upset that you couldn’t make the journey to try and take care of Chan yourself...

Chan ended up laughing at how genuine you were, even when you were crying. He reached out, gently pulling you forward so that he could wipe your tears away again. “God, I love you so much...”

You pulled back, staring at Chan for a moment. “You what?”

Oh. Right. He’d never said it to you yet. Not like that, at least: his “love you”s were always so casual and never felt so committed as this one did.

He smiled nervously. “I love you? You don’t have to say it if you don’t want to, but I really, really love you, and...” He trailed off, unsure of where he was going. “And I think you’re cute even when you’re crying over how nice my friends are. Or good food, or the chocolate bar, or the ducklings--”

You sniffled again.

“Nononono!” He reached out, “Baby, it’s okay, you don’t have to say it if you aren’t ready--It just slipped out and I didn’t want to take it back--”

“I love you, too, you big dork,” you wiped at your own eyes after pushing his hands away. “God, I’m a mess today, aren’t I?”

“But you’re my mess,” he teased, “so I’ll take care of you. We can find a place that delivers dessert--or I can go out and get it!” He scooted closer to you. “Just let me take care of you and you can cry if you need to,” he chuckled. “Okay?”

You shifted so that your shoulder pressed against his. “Okay,” you said after a moment, a little hesitant. “I love you, Chan,” you said again, leaning in to brush your lips against his cheek. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

If you’d let him, he’d take care of you for as long as he lived. He snuggled in, already starting to talk about how his day had gone, about a dog he had seen on his walk home while the two of you grew more comfortable. It might not be easy for you to go through things like this so regularly, but Chan would be there to dry your tears whenever you needed him to.

general taglist: @wonuziex​ @twancingyunhao​

#wooahaes.fic #seventeen imagine #seventeen x reader #seventeen x you #svt x reader #svt imagine #svt x you #dino fluff #seventeen fluff #dino x reader #dino x you #dino imagines #lee chan x you #lee chan x reader #lee chan fluff #lee chan imagines

[gremlintheslut]

Forever theirs

Chapter 7• good bad guys

Don't translate or repost my work without permission from me

Soon to be dead dove do not eat (and previously)

Master list (main pinned)

-----------------------------------------

I wake up with several pairs of arms wrapped around me. The weight of another person laying on top of me is one of the first things I notice. I'm in so much pain yet I'm so comfortable. I feel at ease and I don't want to open my eyes. When I do I will be met with the people I want to see least.

I haven't felt this calm in years. If I don't think about who's holding me it's not so bad. Maybe if I fall back asleep they'll leave me be today.

"morning sweetie" rhea says in a tired sing-song voice. "morning mommy" I reply I don't need to look to know she has a shit-eating grin on her face just from the fact I called her mommy again. "how did you sleep?" she says her arms tightening around me pulling me closer so my back is pressed against her front. "good I don't remember going to bed though," I say and she chuckles trying to not wake up the others.

" you passed out in the bathtub sweets" I hear Damian. "oh, morning daddy," I say happily now I'm fully awake. "morning pumpkin" he grumbles not as awake as me. I giggle at the feeling between my legs. "what are you laughing at?" he says playfully. "your voice is funny" I giggle. "you making fun of me?" he asks sounding less playful. "no, it's nice. I like it" I rest my head on his shoulder.

He places his hand on the side of my head and massages my scalp. Rhea and Damian share a happy loving look letting the realization that they have what's theirs now set in. "don't fall back, asleep baby" rhea says rubbing my back and I whine in response burying my head further in Damian's shoulder.

"too much sleep will make you grumpy for the day" she reasons with me but I stay quiet and motionless. "if your grumpy you'll do things you don't mean and you'll have to be punished" Damian adds. I lift my head from his shoulder. "sorry daddy, sorry mommy" I apologize. "it's alright" "it's okay" they both accept it. "what's she apologizing for?" Finn says lifting his head. He squeezes me tight as he re-a-gusts his position on top of my side.

"trying to fall back asleep," rhea says. He nods his head and looks at the occupants of the bed. "am I the last one up?" he asks. "nah doms still sleeping." rhea says. Finn sits up slightly and looks to his right where he can see dom curled up against Damian.

He shakes dom a bit before speaking. "you're the last one asleep get up" dom groans tiredly in response. "you were asleep first dom dom get up" rhea calls to him from the other side of the bed. Dom just groans louder and rolls onto his side facing away from everyone. "we'll pour water on you again" Finn says as Damian sits up to watch the scene unfold unintentionally taking me with him.

Dom finally sits up with a whine. "fine, fine im up" he says rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "morning" I say nervously as I had never met dom before. Dom looks at me a little shocked. "morning sweetheart, didn't think you'd be allowed to sleep up here this early on" he says silently asking why I was there whilst looking at the others.

"she settled in very well," rhea says. "I missed the whole thing?" he exclaims wishing it wasn't true. "you wouldn't get out of bed, I missed most of it trying to get you up," rhea says as regret fills doms face. I feel bad that he didn't get to see it because he clearly really wanted to.

I wonder if there's a way for us to do it again so dom can see me. My thought is cut off by rhea "if you wanted to see it you should have gotten up"

Rhea says getting out of bed. Maybe it wasn't that important? He can live without seeing me. But he seems so upset. What if it doesn't mean that much and I ask to do it again? I'd just put myself in more pain.

(IDK if I should write Y/N making it up dom tell me what to do)

Damian picks me up and gets out of bed following rhea out of the room. I sit on my daddy's hip and look up at him as he begins to talk. "sorry sweetie 11 am isn't a normal wake-up time. I wish we had woken you up sooner yesterday so you wouldn't have gone to bed so late." I nod and listen trying to come up with something to say but he's talking fast and he sounds smart. I can't keep up and decide to stay quiet.

"That means an early bedtime for you and no more lying in bed awake for an hour," rhea says. "an hour?" Damian asks eyebrows furrowing as he looks down at me. "it was really comfy and I didn't want to wake anyone up cus I thought they were comfy too" I say looking down and feeling guilty. "it's okay, baby. you're not in trouble. You probably won't be the first to wake up again but if you are just pull on one of our shirts till we wake up, okay?" he says. I look up at him smiling and nod my head.

We make our way down to the kitchen with dom and finn following us closely. "since we woke up after you we don't have any breakfast ready" Damian says as he places me in a highchair at a table with 4 regular chairs and weirdly enough another high chair. "but that means we get your opinion on breakfast" rhea says and I pry my eyes away from the second highchair to look at her.

"How do pancakes sound?" she says and a big grin replaces the confused look on my face and I nod my head up and down quickly. Rhea walks into the kitchen and gets the food started. I wriggle in my seat the hard chair pressing against my sore places.

"what's wrong, baby?" dom asks as he sits down in a chair to the left of me. Well, actually it's to the left of the other high chair. Damian seems to become aware he's still standing and so does Finn they both sit down. Finn sits next to dom (not in the high chair) and Damian sits on the other side of me.

"sore" I whine trying to get comfy but I can't. "do you wanna sit on daddy's lap instead?" dom asks and I nod still squirming. Dom gets up from his spot at the table to free me from my chair. He carries me to his chair and sits down placing me on his lap. "better?" dom asks and I nod my head. Blushing as I realize I just openly talk about my holes at a dinner table in front of three men. They're my men but still.

They chuckle at my embarrassed response. Soon rhea comes in with everyone's food. "do you not wanna sit in your chair?" rhea asks as she puts the plates she was carrying on the table in front of Damian and Finn before pausing and waiting for an answer before she got the rest of the food.

"too sore," I say looking at the floor whilst crossing my legs and leaning on Dom.

Rhea nods her head and heads back to the kitchen before returning with mine and Dom's food. She then heads back a final time to get her food. The pancakes that have been set in front of me are the exact way I like them the weird thing is I haven't had pancakes in at least a year.

Dom starts eating along with everyone else and I fiddle with my fork and knife trying my best to cut the pancakes. I look back and forth between my plate and Finn with my tongue out trying to figure out what to do before I hear Dom chuckle. I look back at him and he's trying to finish chewing his bite but struggling due to the laughing.

"do you want daddy to feed you?" he asks and I nod my head. He puts his fork and knife and takes mine from my hands. I let him and I watch as he easily cuts up my pancakes and feeds me a piece. I sit Happily eating my food not minding all of the people at the table staring at my cuteness. I'm done with my food first and I sit patiently as I wait for everyone else to finish.

It's roughly 12:30 when everyone's done. To get me on the sleeping schedule they want me on they decide to put me down for a nap like they would if I hadn't gotten up an hour and a half ago. After a little complaining about not being tired rhea decides to cuddle me and I was very quickly tired.

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Words-1528

Please tell me if I should write YN making it up to dom or not. Thanks for reading love ya-gremlin💋💕💗

The pole is over in 2 days but there's no 2-day option.

#wwe summerslam #wwe nxt #wwe raw #wwe smackdown #wwe x reader #rhea ripley #rhea ripley x reader #demi bennett #damian priest x reader #damian priest #dominik mysterio x reader smut #dominik mysterio #wwe finn balor #finn balor #finn balor daddy #finn balor incubus #the judgement day #Vampire #Werewolf #Incubus

[5tr4ylov35t4y]

Dont get over me, Im here

pairing: chan x fem!reader genre: angst in the start,fluff,smut

warning: sadness, clingy chan, SEX...... sweet affirmations reader is scared of thunder

notes:my first real fan fic that i haven't deleted, havent checked my grammar

It's been a week since Chan and I broke up.He has been too busy to be with me, so i started feel lonely and depressed. i couldn't handle it so i broke up with him thinking it was for the better. But damn, do I miss those eyes of his. They used to hold so much adoration for me, but now they're just filled with sadness during his lives that I still watch to help me sleep. I didn't even realize how much he was doing for me until he was gone. He would always be up before me, leaving me a note to start my day with a smile, and he would come to bed after me because he was working on his new track. I miss our happy comforting dinners that we had once in awhile. Now I'm just eating dinner in silence.

For Chan, it was not doing him any good either. The bed would be cold, the apartment would always feel too empty… what was he supposed to do when all his jokes didn't make sense to other people because his other half was not there to laugh? Why did it have to happen so suddenly? Would it not have been easier, fairer for them to both fall out of love at the same time? (At least he thought you fell out of love.) That wasn't how it worked, of course, that would have been far too easy. For it to be mutual and comfortable. Chan had been hurt immeasurably. He did not argue and merely agreed that if y/n was not happy, then it would be best for them to end their relationship. But this was the end he thought, and it fucking hurt. He couldn't cooperate with life as well as he did when you were still together. He never went to sleep now, no matter how hard he did. He would reach over for you, but it was empty.

He didn’t get around to dropping your things off until the next weekend and you hadn’t messaged him asking what the hold up was, he likely didn’t dare The last thing you needed was to sound like his ex nagging him about shit.It was Saturday night, 9pm by the time Chan got away from work and it was pouring with rain. The typical cliche weather for dropping off personal items to someone who broke your heart, The boxes were going to be left on the porch and Chan was going to ring the doorbell and then bail. He wasn’t going to hang around hoping you would talk to him begging him to come inside because the weather was getting harsher.

Chan sat parked outside y/n's place with the engine off listening to the rain splattering hard on the roof of the car. he forced himself out of the car lugging a box through the torrential rain towards the white door. Setting the box down under the porch roof,A rumble of thunder growled above before a flash of lightning lit up the street, just as chan ringed the door bell the light died and the power failed. "fuck," chan said pushing back his hair he knocked on the door and went back to his car trying to start it but it didnt turn on.

chan went back to the door and knocked on the door His knock was near drowned out by the rain and thunder, but he pounded the door until it shook and just when he thought it was better to give up the door swung open and y/n threw herself into chan's arms, her face buried in his shoulder. crying as she said "chan im so scared please stay with me" his heart broke even more, he picked y/n up and walked in closing the door behind them. chan walked to y/n's room with her in his arms the bed was all messy and the sheets were tangled but he still sat on the bed while cuddling y/n when he spoke “I’ll be honest, I thought you already had someone else here with you.” Sure it might have upset y/n for chan to admit such a thing but it would, at least, take her mind off the storm. “I always knew you were one hundred per cent honest with me so I don’t know why I figured you were leaving me for someone else. You’d have told me if you were, I know that.” chan honestly told you

“I love you, chan. I can’t switch that off, I made the decision to leave because I was so lonely. I missed being with you, I missed us being together.” you told him Without thinking, chan leaned down and kissed you softly.“I’m sorry, I’m sorry I made you miserable. I’m sorry that it’s too late to realise it and fix it. I’ll stay until the storm is over and I promise you won’t hear from me again.” chan softly said into your hair “channnnn-, you’re so stupid. I love you so much.” you said right before you assaulted chan with kisses pressed all over his cheeks and forehead until chan had dissolved into laughter and you were just lying against him with your head in the crook of chan's shoulder.

While everything seemed to be genuinely perfect at that moment, chan still needed to know what was going on because it felt the same way as it had when they first got together.

Unfortunately, his question went unasked as the storm, which had seemed to calm for a moment, picked up with renewed energy and the rain battered the windows, the glass rattling from the force and y/n tensed in his arms.

“Stay, stay with me until the storm blows over.”

“Then what?”

“Stay until the next one.”

“What if the next one never comes?”

“Then you can never leave.”

“Okay.”

chan started to leave kisses on your face as his hand went to your hip" are we back together/" he asked softly 'there has to be some ground rules first chan"

His glossy eyes stared into yours. His eyes were filled with hope. “yes love tell me."

Placing your hand on top of his, you began to speak.

“You need to come home every night. You can’t continue to be at work 24/7. You’re already exhausted and you’re just hurting yourself. I’d also like to see you. I don’t want to keep coming home to an empty house.”

Chan nodded, the ghost of a smile could be seen on his lips.

“H-how about…” He began to say.

“Hm, what is it?” You asked.

“How about I try to make up a little for the time I missed out with you tonight?”

You looked at him with curious eyes, “Yeah, and how are you going to do that?” A smile was heard in your voice.

Chan showed you what he meant the moment his hands began to slide down the waistline of your pants. He looked at you with big eyes.

“I know it’s not much but I want to do something at least. If it’s ok with you, of course.”

Rotating your neck, you leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek. “I would love that.”

With your permission, Chan slid off your joggers, followed by your panties. He grabbed them and tossed them near the foot of the bed.

You spread your legs open wider to give him better access. His warm hand traveled down your mound. You always melted at his very touch. His touch was safe and warm. Each time he touched you it sent shivers down your spine.

Dipping his fingers past your slit, he sought out your clit. Placing a gentle touch onto it, he began to move his finger causing you to whine.

“Does it feel alright baby?” He asked as he continued to tease your sensitive bud.

Softly squirming, you responded in a breathy tone, “Mm it’s so nice Channie. F-feels good.”

“Good.” He breathed out in relief. All he wanted to do was pleasure you, to make you feel his love from his touch. He softly attached his mouth to your neck as he continued to play with you. Starting from your earlobe, he began peppering soft kisses down your neck. He could hear the soft breaths you let out at every kiss. Chan continued to plant kisses slowly down your shoulder.

“Whatever my baby wants.” He stuck a second finger into you causing you to mewl.

“Fucking love your fingers Channie! They’re so t-thick.”

Moving his fingers, he began to fuck them in and out of you, “Yeah baby? You like my fingers?”

“Mhm!” you nodded, your head already going hazy.

“You’re just sucking them in, aren’t you?” He said, teasing you.

“Yes!” You cried out.

“Good girl.”

Chan simultaneously fucked his fingers in you as he sucked on your neck. His touch felt amazing, absolutely loving that all his attention was on you and making you feel good.

“Chan.” You breathed out, “I’m almost there!”

“Mm, come on baby, come for me.”

You let go the moment you heard his words, keening as he fucked you through your orgasm. Your muscles clenched as you split all over his fingers.

“You did so good.” Chan whispered into your ear as you fell onto the pillow.

Laying down beside you, you were both face to face with each other. Chan looked at you, smiling at your sleepy expression.

“I love you so much.” Chan said as he raked his fingers through your hair once.

“I love you too Channie.” You whispered out before you fell to sleep.

Chan stared at you for a bit, he admired how beautiful you were. He was so lucky to be loved by someone like you. you have no idea just how much he's head over heels for you. It's like he's under your spell or something.

#stray kids x reader #bang chan x y/n #stray kids #bang chan #fanfic #skz x reader #chan x y/n #smut smut smut

[jjhyn]

“seven”

pairing: jeon jungkook x reader “y/n” 

genre: angst

plot: your relationship with jungkook was hanging by a thread, it seemed that day by day and night after night, it was constant fighting and you felt like everything was falling apart 

warning: uhhh i think like cursing, yn and jungkook fight a lot so theres like some toxicity there

notes: jungkook’s “seven” ft latto is so good guys im going crazy, i took some inspiration from the mv for some of the scenarios and others i made up to add onto the story. also sidenote, sohee is so pretty wth ok byeee

word count: 3535

sunday

you woke up a bit late that sunday. the afternoon sun was shining onto your face from the window. you stretched your body across your bed and realized jungkook wasn’t in bed. this wasn’t something new to you, the last few weeks it seems like you guys were barely even together. you found yourself going to bed alone and waking up alone. like it had become a new routine for the two of you. scratch that, new routine for you because as of late, it hasn’t felt like there was a “two of you” anymore. 

you made your way to the kitchen where you were met with unwashed dishes in the sink, a dirty pan on the stove, and spills all over the counter. typically this would’ve made you go crazy, you’d probably go over to jungkook, yell at him, and the two of you would argue but you had grown tired. too tired to argue. too tired to fight. too tired to even bring it up. god knows where he even is. you scoffed and made your way back to bed, pulling out your phone as you decided to order delivery and not even bother getting out of bed that day. 

monday

you had forgotten you had to attend that work dinner with jungkook and his boss. so there you were, a fake smile plastered on your face as you had to greet jungkook’s stuck up colleagues. you swore that if you had to fake laugh one more time you’d break the champagne flute you were holding and stab someone.

“what’s wrong with you?” jungkook asked when his coworker walked away.

this brought you out of your thoughts and when you made eye contact with jungkook he was looking at you like you were crazy.

“what’s wrong with me? yeah, okay” you responded sarcastically and this didn’t help, at all. 

jungkook rubbed his chin before shaking his head at you, clearly upset with the way you’ve been acting all night. in your defense, you didn’t want to be there and what makes it worse is that he wants to act like everything is fine when both of you know that the two of you weren’t in the best place in your relationship at the moment. 

“look, can you at least act like you want to be here. you don’t have to talk to anyone but you can at least act like a decent human being.” he said as another stuck up prick approached the two of you.

before that man could even reach the two of you, you scoffed and walked off but not before you downed your glass of champagne and shoved it into his hand. at this point, people have noticed the tension between the two of you and you walking off only made it worse. this made jungkook extremely upset, not only did you just make a scene but the man who was approaching the two of you just so happened to be the guy that jungkook needed to sweet talk to close out a very important business deal. 

however, instead of running after you he stayed there. continued to talk to that man, as if he was more important than your relationship, and in that moment, he was more important. and you weren’t. 

tuesday

you had gotten home last night by uber and decided to drink yourself to sleep. you woke up still in your dress, even with one heel still on. you got yourself dressed in regular clothes before noticing the pile of dirty laundry you had been putting off. almost like how you’ve been putting off the inevitable. 

as you dragged your shared hamper with jungkook you threw the clothes in the washer. whites and light colored clothes first, to avoid any of them getting stained by the other clothes. when you walked out of your laundry room you caught a glimpse of jungkook still asleep on the couch. you felt a small pang of guilt strike your heart but you decided to lock yourself in the laundry room to avoid him altogether. 

after half an hour, the first load of laundry was done. when you opened the door to the washer to transfer them into the dryer you were met with what was supposed to be white clothes that were now various shades of pink. you were beyond shocked as you made sure to check that none of the clothes got mixed up. it wasn’t until you had pulled the clothes out of the washer when you saw a pair of red boxers stuck to the side of the washer. jungkook must’ve forgotten it there the last time he did laundry and now all of the white clothes were stained with pink. this made you furious. a lot more furious than it should’ve but you weren’t thinking when you stormed out of the laundry room, a pile of wet clothes in your arms, as you made your way to where jungkook was sleeping and dumped the dripping pile of clothes onto him. 

“what the hell?!” he yelled as he woke up.

“yeah, what the hell is right.” you yelled back “your dumbass forgot to take out one of your boxers from the washer and now all of my clothes are fucking pink!”.

jungkook shoved the wet clothes off of him as he stood and shook the water off of his arms and body. 

“is it that serious? it’s just some clothes!” he yelled as he made his way to the closet to grab a towel. 

“yes! it is that serious!” you yelled from behind him.

“serious enough that you need to dump a bunch of wet clothes on me?” he responded and this made you even more upset, because even though it wasn’t serious to him, it was serious to you. 

you groaned and pushed past him into your shared bedroom. before you could slam the door he finds his way in and the two of you are now staring at each other. anger in both of your eyes but not saying a thing. it wasn’t until jungkook broke the silence when all hell seemed to break loose.

“you know what, since we’re talking about things that are serious. what the hell was that about last night, huh? you make a scene in front of some very important people at my job and expect me to just forget about it?” he says, bringing up the events of last night that you had forgotten about in your drunken phase.

“i wouldn’t have caused a scene if you even remotely cared about me! i didn’t even want to be there, yet you forced me to be there and you expect me to be fucking jolly the whole time?” you yelled as you started picking up random clothes laying on the floor of your room. 

“are you kidding me?! you didn’t just make a scene, you fucking embarassed me in front of all those people!” jungkook responded, a vein starting to protrude from his neck.

“oh yeah? all those fucking people? like i give a shit! you care about those people more than you care about me. if you took some time to fucking take your head out of their asses and paid attention to i don’t know, ME? then maybe we wouldn’t have a problem now would we?” you were now throwing things at him with every word. clothes. your pillows. plushies. you even considered picking up the framed photo of you two but chose not to. 

“what the fuck is wrong with you?” that was all he could say. tears were threatening to pour down your face but you refused to cry. not over this, you were better than that. you took one deep sigh and walked out of your room. you hastily grabbed your keys and put your shoes on and left your apartment; slamming the door on your way out. again. jungkook didn’t follow. he stood there rubbing his temples and let out an aggravated grunt. one that you could hear as you passed the window of your bedroom as you got to your car. 

you looked up at the window, hoping that maybe he’d poke his head out and call for you. but he didn’t. 

wednesday

jungkook spent the day cleaning the house. you hadn’t come home after your fight and he didn’t know what to do. the two of you had fought before but it was never like this. one of you always apologized right after but this time it was extremely different. it felt like everything was falling apart and he didn’t even realize it until now. 

he finished doing the laundry that you had left. cleaned the kitchen and washed the dishes. he even fixed the squeaky lopsided chair you had been bugging him to fix. he entered your shared bedroom and plopped down on the bed surrounded by the mess of the day before. as he laid there on your bed, he recalled the events of your fight. the way your eyes welled up with tears. the anger in both of your voices. the way you had left. and the way he didn’t run after you. 

he shifted his vision from the ceiling to the nightstand. where a framed photo of the two of you sat. you looked so pretty that day. and you still do. he thinks about how he’s barely seen you smile lately and how your smile was his favorite thing about you. 

when was the last time you smiled? 

when was the last time he called you pretty?

when was the last time you laughed?

when was the last time you hugged each other?

when was the last time the two of you went a day without fighting?

thursday

jungkook has been sending you nonstop texts. he didn’t at first. it wasn’t until today that he started sending you texts. asking where you were, when you were coming back, that you needed to talk; and when you didn’t respond to those he resorted to calling. but he was instantly met with your voicemail. 

you weren’t ready to talk to him yet. you don’t know what would happen if the two of you talked right now. would you yell again? would he yell? would the two of you just stare at each other in silence? who knows, definitely not you. 

you spent the rest of the day ignoring jungkook’s messages and calls. you were staying with your sister at the moment and even though you didn’t tell her why you were there, she knew exactly what was happening and respected your wishes to not talk about it. you don’t know what you’re doing. how did the two of you get here? everything seemed so good, you were with the love of your life and suddenly it all fell apart. 

where did it go wrong? 

friday

after you had been ignoring him, jungkook had no idea what to do. he was getting worried and had been sleepless the last few nights. he paced back and forth in your bedroom, rubbing his chin, hair disheveled, when he got a phone call. he didn’t even bother checking who it was and answered immediately. 

“yn?” he asked

“no, it’s y/n’s sister. before you say anything else, they’re fine. they’ve been staying with me” your sister reassured him and he released the biggest sigh of relief. 

“look, i think you need to come get them or at least come here and talk. they haven’t left their room or eaten or done anything since they got here. i don’t know what happened but the two of you need to talk and fix this.” she said and as jungkook processed your sister’s words to think of a response, she hung up. 

jungkook was spiraling, he had no idea what was wrong but you were clearly going through it and he needed to be there to talk to you and fix whatever was left of your relationship. the two of you have never fought like this and it was starting to seem like this was a lot more serious than he may have first thought. 

he packed a small bag of his things and made his way out of his apartment before turning around. he went back to your bedroom and took the photo out of the frame on your nightstand. he stared at the photo before he folded it and put it into his back pocket. 

saturday

“where are you going?” your sister asked

“i don’t know, i’m gonna go to the train and see whatever ticket i can get and go as far from here as possible” you deadpanned and this made your sister roll her eyes. 

“really, y/n? is it that serious?” and before she could even fully ask that question you erupted.

“YES! it is that serious! why does everyone always ask me if it’s that serious?! does it even matter if it’s not serious to you?! because it is to me!” you were yelling and your sister was starting to put the pieces together. 

“look, just be careful, okay? i love you and you can always come back here if you need to. i don’t know what’s going on between the two of you but i’m always here for you.” she responded, knowing that if she continued to question your behavior it wouldn’t lead anywhere, so she decided to reassure you instead of continuing to add onto the stress you were already going through. 

you muttered a small thanks and gave your sister a hug. 

jungkook arrived at your sister’s house and when he saw your car out front he was so glad you were still there. he knocked on the door and was met with your sister. 

“where is she?” he said pushing past your sister into her house.

“y/n?” he called for you 

“they’re gone.” your sister responded

“what? their car is right there, you don’t have to hide them; you told me to come here.” jungkook was now confused

“they left. they took the bust and went to the train station half an hour ago. they’re probably on a train by now to wherever” she explained.

“what!? you didn’t think to stop them? you just let them leave?” he made his way out of the house and back to his car.

“you think that would’ve done something? they’re hurting jungkook and if i’m being honest, it feels like it’s because of you. you’re a little too late, maybe had you not let them walk away the first time, then you wouldn’t be in this position.” she said harshly.

your sister’s words stung because jungkook knew she was right and this was his fault, but he still believed he could fix this. he made his way out of your sister’s driveaway and sped to the train station, hoping you were still there.

“here’s your ticket. safe travels!” said the lady at the ticket counter. you muttered a thank you and went to find where your section is to wait for the train. 

as you found your spot you sat down with a heavy sigh and felt like your chest was getting tighter and tighter. you felt like you haven’t been able to breathe for a few days and it’s really getting to you. 

the led sign above you changed, now indicating that the next train would be arriving in 20 minutes. you don’t even know why you’re leaving. you do know why, but you weren’t entirely sure if this was the right thing to do. all the times you’ve left without thinking twice and here you are now, thinking twice before you walk away for what it seems like could be, if not forever, for a long time. 

some time passes and a lady on the intercom announces that your train would be arriving soon. you stared at the unopened texts from jungkook but didn’t bother opening any of them. the led sign above you changed from an ETA to “NOW ARRIVING”. you gathered your things and stood up, waiting behind a yellow line as the train approached from afar. 

when the train stopped in front of you and the doors opened, you waited for the previous passengers to exit the train before you got on. just as you were about to step into the train, a voice called out for you. 

“y/n! wait!” he said

you turned your head when you saw jungkook running towards you. you made a confused face, how did he even know you were here? before you could finish that thought, you realized your sister must’ve told him where you were. 

he reaches you and pulls you out of the line. 

“what are you doing here?” you said as you pulled your arm out of his grasp

“please, just listen to what i have to say. please?” he practically begged and when you didn’t respond and simply motioned with a nod for him to continue talking, he did. 

“i know, i haven’t been treating you the best lately. i haven’t been there for you, i haven’t listened, i haven’t shown you my love, but please know that none of that has ever waivered. i love you endlessly and eternally. more than you know and more than i can show.” he finishes and you're just staring at him. 

he shifts his vision from each of your eyes, waiting for a reaction or response. he takes your hands into his and says, “please, say something.” his voice slightly breaking. 

you thought that you wanted this. he’s finally realizing what he did wrong, he’s running after you, and he’s trying to make it right. you almost gave in until you realized he hasn’t even apologized, hasn’t uttered any form of the word “sorry” whatsoever. you slide your hands out of his before you begin to talk. 

“what do you want me to say? that everything is fine? let’s go back home and go back to our life as if nothing happened?” his face goes from sad to broken.

“i needed you jungkook, and you weren’t there. you never chose me. i was never your first option. it felt like you completely forgot about me. i walked away and you didn’t even call for me to come back let alone run after me. but it’s fine. because i’m done. us? we’re done.” you calmly said as jungkook was fighting tears from falling down his face. 

you cleared your throat and the lady on the intercom called for the last of passengers to board your train before it left. you slipped something off of your hand and dropped it into the pocket of his coat. 

“bye, jungkook.” you said as you made your way on the train. 

after a few steps jungkook calls for you again and runs up to you as you’re entering the train.

“jungkook, please. enough.” you said, almost begging him to let you go.

he doesn’t say anything except he gives you one last hug. unknown to you that he’s slipped something into your bag. you pull away and as you enter the train the doors close. the two of you stare at one another and after what felt like eternity, the train starts to move, leaving jungkook behind and taking you away. 

jungkook makes his way back to his car. when he finally enters, he breaks down. tears pouring down his face as the realization of what happened is now settling in. you’re gone and he has no idea how to fix it or if it can even be fixed. 

he suddenly remembers that you slipped something into his coat pocket. he pats his coat down to feel for the object and when he feels it, he grabs the small item out of his pocket. the sight of your wedding ring only breaks his heart further as it serves as a sign that the two of you are done. 

you found your seat on the train and once again sit with a heavy sigh, this time with less tightness in your chest. you set your bags aside when you realize something was sticking out the side of your bag. confused, you go to grab the crumpled piece of paper when you recognize the writing on the back. it was the date of your wedding, followed by you and jungkook’s signature. you unfold the paper and are met with your wedding photo. 

the two of you looked so happy. your wedding day was truly the happiest you had ever been. you recalled all of the laughter and smiles. jungkook’s smile was your favorite and it’s felt like you hadn’t seen him smile in so long. you folded the photo back up and put it into your bag. 

you stared out the window, contemplating on whether this was the right decision. obviously you couldn’t just run away forever. divorce takes time and you would have to see him at some point but was running away right now the right thing to do? you had run away so many times before and he finally ran after you, so why are you continuing to run? 

maybe it’s because he’s seven days too late.

#bts #bts jungkook #jungkook #jungkook au #jungkook fic #jungkook fanfic #fan fiction #au #bts fan fiction #bts au #jungkook seven #jungkook 7 #army #kpop #kpop au #kpop fan fic #kpop fic

[selamat-linting]

living after experiencing sa is so weird like, the same piece of writing about assault could do nothing or it could send me into a week long spiral and its just a matter of dumb luck or pure chance that determines my brains' reaction to it. i've had moments where im legitimately triggered in the middle of re-reading something i actually enjoy as porn. over the years i figured it was because i had small triggers that are abstract or wasnt easily noticeable or doesnt feel like anything until its in the spesific context of sa. like being trapped in an enclosed space with strangers, begging to be sent home, being deceived, having your preferences and interests weaponized against you, the really lonely and painful walk home afterwards where no one comes to save you but maybe its better off this way since you dont want to be seen, those are things im particularly sensitive with. for example, a few years ago i got really messed up about this anecdote of a kid who got kidnapped by a neighbor for a few hours. he offered to see his cat and then lock them up in a room while theyre playing with said kittens. nothing actually happens but that made me legit depressed for a few days. while im fine talking with my friend about an incident where she got followed by a creepy guy who groped her while she's walking home. both situations are horrifying and bad ofc, but i cant exactly communicate or find an easy way to filter out the bad. like, i can handle hearing the graphic details, the bare bones account of what happens, but if it touches on how the victim was tricked or deceived or gets taken advantage of, even when its basically the least upsetting part, i just couldnt do it.

idk, maybe its because my experience was more in the mental stuff. yeah sure, it was only some groping, an almost kiss, and some sex talk. but the context was that i asked for help, someone friendly comes along, they say theyre just helping me but turns out they actually have ulterior motives. i was stuck in a car for hours to god knows where, fully knowing i was gonna get raped when the car eventually stops, trying to plead or at least delay it with someone i thought was a friend without being too harsh because i know they could do even worse things if i drop this thin veneer of friendliness we got going on. and all the while this asshole kept touching me in spots i didnt even realize was a sensitive place for me and i had to keep a straight face the whole time because if they see a hint that i liked it, its over. did i like though? yeah. do i want it? fuck no. never in a million years. and i felt betrayed because im supposed to have that moment of discovery with a boyfriend or a girlfriend and it was supposed to be nice and comforting but its not. and i might associate gentle touches with this forever. and there's also a part of me that said, hey somebody wants me. dont you want to be wanted? i might as well enjoy it because no one's gonna offer me hot car sex like this. i should try to get myself wet! this is a new experience that i should just see the bright side of. im supposed to be a kinky slut right? i just turned 20. and after all, i promised myself, after the first time i had my sa as a kid, the next time it happens im gonna fight. and what am i doing right now? i'm just running my mouth. im laughing at my soon to be rapists' joke and i tell him we should meet up later instead of doing everything right now since i had work later in the day. this isnt fighting, its bargaining. and all the while im wondering if i look pretty while im doing this. i hope i look pretty. im just wearing sweatshirt and pajama pants. this is sick, why do i want to look good while im sexually assaulted?

i never told this to anyone except a friend. but even she didnt get the whole account. she just know it happens. its the part that actually upsets me that i didnt tell her. the whole violated trust thing. and how dumb i am for instantly accepting help from an acquaintance i dont even know that well. and what happens after the car stops. all she knows is that when it stops, i pushed him off of me and i left the car and run.

to her it just seems like im valiantly fighting off an asshole. she didnt know that after i ran, a bunch of men saw me running. they asked me if i need help. they were kind. but i thought of the hassle of reporting to the police, being grilled with questions, have my entire behavior scrutinized, and my parents vacillating between unhelpful anger or chastising me for being so trusting and eventually isolating me because i cant be trusted to exist in a public space without being harassed and god i dont want to miss work today and theyre gonna ask why if i had to miss a day and theyre gonna know too. so obviously i shut up. i couldnt say anything. the fuck who assaulted me came, and get this, i went back to his car. i didnt sit next to him, i was sitting at the backseat, and he was angry and yelled at me the entire time while driving me back to the closest bus station. i didnt say anything, and i actually paid him money before leaving. i was a coward.

in hindsight, what happens after the next few month after that was just me trying to compensate for the shame and utter incompetence i felt. i thought i was good at being confrontational and assertive, but when it actually matters, i cant speak. it was awful. i mean, it was a moment of self improvement, i did evolve from being an awkward self-important debate kid to an adult who relies on being good with persuading people for a living. im proud of that. but the feeling of helplessness still remains. im still afraid that when it happens again, i'd just clam up like usual. even though i already successfully fend off several people trying to fuck with me before anything that bad ever happens because im a hot saleswoman now. it felt weird calling myself a victim or a survivor because, it just happens. i didnt survive shit nor do i want to be a victim. i dont want to be pitied. and i dont want to be called brave or anything because im anything but.

except that everytime something reminds me of my sa incident, i kept having this urge to tell somebody, and i'd wrote a long paragraph detailing everything that happened including all of the uncomfortable details that didnt make me look good as a victim. and then i'd delete it before sending because its not good to tell your personal triggers online right? but i have no one i want to talk about this irl. and i cant imagine any well-meaning response that doesnt make me angry. i kept thinking about it. if anyone acknowledged this happens to me, i have no socially acceptable response. im not sure if anyone could understand or be sympathetic. i mean, imagine someone told you a grave secret about them and then they get angry and throw a tantrum when you say youre keeping their secret to the grave. youre in the right to be angry and confused at them. and its one thing to write a retrospective like this, and its another thing talk about it directly. i wouldnt be self aware to control myself. i'd just ruin another friendship because i got pissed off for no discernable reason.

i dont really know where im going with this. i think i just wanted to get this out of my system. its been what? three years? im sick of keeping that shit in. i think i just need to talk about it, sort of like a confessional before moving on for good. anyway, your usual shitposting will resume shortly. bye bitch!

#sa cw #this is about my personal experience with it #and something about abstract triggers

[hiro-doodlez]

HELP I can't see my therapist for a couple of weeks and am currently having something i like to dub "yet another hiro autism crisis" where i contemplate if my therapist gave me the right diagnoses (she has told me she is not certified to give autism diagnoses, and instead more things like depression) Right now, I am diagnosed with ADHD, Anxiety/ Social anxiety (its still up in the air, DPDR, and depression. idk if that matters SO NOW I LIST RANDOM THINGS that could be considered symptoms or not I DUNNO HOW TO DO THISS feel free to ask questions about some of the crap i say here half of it doesn't make sense

First off, I have a general trouble understanding most social situations, and struggle sometimes when talking about practically anything. For example, earlier today my step-mom basically said she wasnt going to finish her food and let my brother have it. my brother said he would leave 2, he didnt (BOZO) and later after he left she found the empty container and said something along the lines "HAH! I thought he said he was gonna leave me 2!" and immdeiately without thinking i went "hey! you said he could have as many as he can! and hes working 10 hours a day and needs his energy!!" half jokingly and she got mad at me for it, we got into a mini argument over that.

When saying something thats serious, i tend to make a joke around it and i have NO CLUE why. I just CANT be openly upset around people. For example, when being told about something that happened to me as a kid that NEVER SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED RAGRHAGHAG, instead of having a breakdown and being reasonably upset, i burst out into giggles and laughs while my brother was just so fucking confused on what was wrong. It was kinda like i couldn't stop and it fucking sucked

The TINIEST things can upset me, and other HUGE things can have little to no effect. Its so incredibly annoying

I have INTENSE fluxuations in interests, hobbies, and motivation for certain projects. I will start on this huge project that im INCREDIBLY excited for, and then a week later have little to no interest in continuing it.

I make everything about my personality a joke, i dont know why. EVERYTHING i tend to say or do has to be funny. it's like i dont want people to see beneath that

I fluctuate in personality A TON, especially depending by the people i am around. At school, I'm the quiet kid. I don't talk to anyone except maybe 5 people, but other than that i tend to stay completely silent. It could be a mask? i dunno. but when im at home, ask my brothers, i am BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS. it might also be me just getting some of my energy out? RRAHHH I DUNNOOO

I will simply forget to do very important things to the point of endangering my health. Like forgetting to eat for a day straight. my step-mom thinks i have an ED AND I DONT. i literally just keep realizing suddenly at like 6 pm all i have eaten is a couple of skittles and pringles.

i have no clue how talking to people works and im constantly winging it. I forget how to have friends especially how to even talk or interact with them and its so stupid. I can't ever start a conversation with someone without having at least 5 minutes going "am i weird for this am i being annoying am i being clingy".

If i say even one thing wrong i WILL be thinking about it for DAYS thinking about how they probably hate me now and im a terrible person ect. ect.

I tend to hide many of my traits (especially good ones) because i am incredibly embarrassed and never want anyone to EVER compare themselves to me.

im a people pleaser does that count

i tend to get extremely upset if i get told one bad thing about something that i like or just a project i have. For example, I had this fandom silly man poll because i just wanted to find out who was silly. Then one of my friends just posted something like "i hate fandom polls theyre the worst" and i just lost complete motivation afterwards. I haven't touched that blog in WEEKS at this point becuase i simply have no more interst

I have had a meltdown or 2 before, and they both stemmed from being told about how i was a bad person. i don't know why the hell thats a thing

I can't stay focused on one thing for long periods of time (ADHD cough cough) Like literally earlier i was watching this video about autistic traits and i kept having to back the video up because i would get sidetracked in my mind to the point where im just not listening anymore

if im not paying attention to people sometimes I SWEAR theyre saying "ffajaleifnanamzmaldafjkjeffnma" and as soon as i start noticing it suddenly theres words again. hate that.

i have times where it can kinda seem like i cant speak, and if i do everything comes out wrong and jumbled. Like when my autistic friend would have a sensory related meltdown, i would never know what to do and end up going dead silent because of being so mad at myself for not knowing how to help (any tips actually hahahahaHOW DO I HELP)

i have little idea who the hell i am. had a mini-crisis because i didn't know what my favorite color was because before, it was the color my friend with synesthesia said i was and i just went with that (i think its purple or blue i have no fucking clue JFALJK)

i will have spikes of random motivation on one thing. like learning lanugauges, i will have a week where its so easy to get like 10 lessons on duolingo done a day and then the next week its a struggle to get even one done.

i focus better with distractions ??? I can't focus without music and tend to do better on reading tests if everyone else in the class is talking ???

i remember the most random things about certain things. Like, i could not for the LIFE of me remember what color that one persons hair that i was talking to for 15 minutes straight. but i can remember that they had pink socks on. WHY IS THAT WHAT I REMEMBER??

I hate organization and doing the same thing every day. i NEED chaos. My brother a little bit ago helped me out and got me to make a personal to-do list. i couldnt do it a single day even though the things were extremely simple like "brush hair, make bed, eat breakfast ect."

i zone out a LOT. especially when people bring up topics im uncomfortable with or conflict with my current feelings. i go into a kinda little talking (not nonverbal, i can still talk) or just confused state that freaking sucks.

when im in a high energy mood i tend to not feel.. reall???? I do many things overboard and annoy the heck out of my brothers. i always feel terrible afterwards.

Idk if this is weird to say but i tend to get really off put when people im comfy with get haircuts or major changes in their appearance. I never like the change no matter what the hair cut looks like. i dont have any clue why

i have no clue whether or not any of this is real or if I have managed to make it all up in my head. (bascially when i was younger i wanted attention and ended up faking depression for a year straight and was an absolute ass to my friends and blah blah blah)

#hiro.txt #autism #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #autistic #mental illness help #asd #asd help #nd help #rrahh #like i cant tell if i am masking INCREDIBLY WELL or not #i have no clue #oh its almost 1 am LOL

[wxniesrxse]

𝕃𝕖𝕖 𝕃𝕖𝕠: 𝕊𝕦𝕣𝕡𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕖 𝔹𝕚𝕣𝕥𝕙𝕕𝕒𝕪 ℙ𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕪❤️

WARNING: Cussing (bad words)

❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎

Leo laid on his bed stretching his body fully before sitting up. He look at his window with a smile. "Today the sun is looking more beautiful and brighter than ever....." he said his eyes squinting because of the sun. " and why is that?" He asked himself? Or the sun? He yawned and scratch his head. " because today's my birthday....that's right" he said flipping his bangs backward. The sunlight was facing on him so much that he finally felt awakened. "Shit, the sun is blinding me!" He got off the bed and quickly run the bathroom. He used the bathroom then brushed his teeth and washed his face. He look himself at the mirror. " Wait....someone is missing?...." Leo thought wondering who the heck was missing in his apartment.

Soon realization hit him. " YN?! YN?!" He shout running off from the bathroom. " Ynnie~ where are you?" He yelled looking for you in the closet, inside the cabinets, and even at the bottom of the bed. " in my birthdays she is always here with me...." He frowned. He went to check at the living room and kitchen. No one is there. " what the fuck?......" Leo furrowed down his eyebrows in confusion. Leo runs back to his room, grab his phone, and came back to the living room. He sat on one of the couches. He scroll through his notifications to see if his friends and family members wished him a hbd.

NO ONE DID.

" did they forgot?.....but they never do.....this is really strange....." suddenly Leo gasped deeply. " what if they all got kidnapped?" Leo auto slap himself for thinking such a dumb thing. " nah.....I'm too grown up for happy birthday wishes from my friends..... at least only my mom and girlfriend can wish me a happy birthday...not even them?.....oh whatever!" He kick the table's leg out of anger but of course that led him hurting himself. "Ah shit!" He clenched his teeth and held his feet.

...

" the salon is looking amazing! Oh my god! Leo is going to be shocked when he comes in!" Leo's mother said as she scan the whole room that was in all red and black colors. " he will but I feel so bad, usually we all wish him a happy birthday in the morning....he must be upset..." you said in worry as you reach to touch the pretty gold necklace that is around your neck. Leo gave you that gold necklace in your last birthday.

" don't worry sist, he'll be fine, we know Leo, he

will still survive without getting wished..." James rub your shoulder to comfort you. " yeah Leo might be chilling right now in his apartment alone blasting his favorite songs on loud speakers and cooking pancakes as he dances crazily to the music AND on the back of his mind he's probably missing us " JayJay joked and the rest of boys laughed. " right! I can imagine him doing that!" Jihoon clapped his hands bending down because of laughter.

...

Well JayJay was right. Leo is doing all the stuff he mentioned. " this is fun!!" He yelled as he flip his pancakes. " screw them! I can have fun on my own and wish myself a happy birthday! Woooooo!" He bit his bottom lip as he dance hard to the hip hop song while flipping the pancake in mid air. His dark fluffy hair getting messed up from his movements. " I don't miss them! I don't need them!" He rapped kicking up in the air.

Suddenly his phone rang. He check to to see the caller ID.  It was Woochan . " oh Woochan! He'll definitely remember!" Leo stop everything and answered. Woochan's voice blast on the speakers. " hey yoooooooo Leo my brooooo!!!" Woochan yelled. " yoooooo my brotha!" Leo yelled back happily. " guess what day is today?" Woochan teased. " I don't know man, you tell me!" Leo prayed that  Woochan will remember. " today is....be an angel daaaaay!" Woochan shouted. Leo just stare at him with a blank face. " the fuck is that? Dude we never celebrate that why suddenly- you know what I'm done IM DONE!"

"No Leo wait noooo-" Leo ended the call.  He threw his phone on the couch. He got onto his knees and grip his hair. "Ahhhhhhhhhh!" He yelled looking up at the ceiling.

...

4:30 pm

" baby boy! Get changed!" You said on the phone.

" for what....." Leo mumbled back. The sad looking boy laid on his bed watching tv and eating Doritos he brought from his trip to America.

" I have a surprise for you my love, my honey bunch, my sweet little bee, my adorable baby dolly-"

" why are you sweet talking me? Stop please! You sound suspicious! Have you done something bad? Wait...don't tell me you stole money from your mom again.....no wait....you're pregnant? I'm not ready to be a Da-"

" no dummy! It's something different so shut up and get change! There's an outfit in the corner of your closet, it's all black. I bought it for you and trust me you're going to look like a bad butch"

" you mean bad bitc-"

" Shhhhhh!! Change! After you're done meet me outside in the car baby!" You smirked as you push the car horn. He immediately ended the call. " what could it be what could it be!" He mumbled to himself quickly looking for the clothes in the closet.

...

" keep walking....keep walking....stop! Here we are" you had Leo's eyes covered with a black blindfold. " Where are we?" Leo asked.  All the lights were off and the people invited to the party were very quiet.

"PFFFF-" JayJay had to laugh.

" JayJay little bro?" Leo asked.

" are you ready?" You whispered on his ear.

"For what-"

"SURPRISE! Happy Birthday Leo!!!!!" The lights went on and everyone jump out of their hiding place scaring Leo. " happy 20th birthday baby!" You said kissing his lips and hugging him tightly against you. " Ah baby..." he said his voice sounding muffled since he buried his face against your neck and jacket. " thank you! You did all this?" Leo gesture at the salon with his hands. " it was your mom's idea and mines too!" You said happily. " it's incredible! Where's mom? MOM!!" He shouted looking for his mom. " I'm here behind you!" Leo's back hug him. " my baby!!" She said. Leo laughed. " I'm no longer a baby!".

" Leo my man!" James said as he walk towards Leo and did a handshake with him. All his friends greet him.

" sorry Leo about the be an angel prank" Woochan said looking apologetic although he had a small funny smile on his face. "What's that even about? did you invented that? " Leo asked slightly punching on Woochan's chest. " basically a day where you tell people nice things like....Leo I wish you all the happiness in the world!" Woochan hug him. "Happy birthday hyung!" The rest of the boys crowded together in circle to drown Leo in a warm hug.

❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎

Thank you for reading!

( also in wattpad and IG)

@itsnikitty @lynjj1 @niohoon @justamochi @marii-97 @belpr1v2 @boowrld @itssnootmayya @dangerousmoonkitten @moonjuu @almidealist

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEO 💕😘🎉🎂🥳🎈🎊🎁😽

#trainee a #traineea #trainee a leo #lee leo #lee leo ff #lee leo imagine #lee leo fanfiction #happy birthday leo #trainee a jj #trainee a sangwon #trainee a woochan #trainee a yorch #trainee a james #trainee a jihoon #hybe labels #bighit #han jihoon #jo woochan #justin jay #kpop imagines #kpop #trainee a imagines #lee sangwon #yorch yongsin #james #zhao yufan #trainee a scenario #trainee a fanfiction #kpoo icons #kpop edit

[mydemonsdrivealimo]

Has to be:

Hates That One Loud Neighbour x Is That One Loud Neighbour

😌

omfg i love this one asdfghjk. okay i lowkey struggled to figure out who would be who cause it could work both ways, but i think ill go with jensen being the loud neighbor and bryce being the one who hates it lmao

this is so long im so sorry but anyway

(doing it bullet point style bc i can <3)

(idk exactly what their professions would be in this, possibly the same but one of them would work at mass kenmore/just at a different hospital, because eventually theyd notice or piece together that they live in the same building)

bryce wouldve moved in a little after jensen. for the first month or so it was fine, maybe music through the walls once or twice, but nothing long enough that warranted a complaint

after that month, though, at all hours of the night thered either be music or a tv show or just something playing loud enough that bryce could hear it through the walls

he could never catch this mystery neighbor, though. he was up early in the morning and didnt want to bother them (as if they werent already doing the same), and when he got home usually he was too exhausted to do anything about it

after about another month of the on and off disruptions, bryce has a few friends over as a mini housewarming thing (jackie, elijah, and sienna). he mentions an offhand complaint about it and they all obviously ask why he hasnt said anything. they tell him he should just catch this neighbor at night when the problem is yk,, happening. by then though hes exhausted and can usually pass out after a little while of tossing and turning

eventually, they convince him to at least put a note on the door, so he quickly scrawls one out, tapes it there, then comes back. by the time they leave, late into the night, the noise seems to have stopped

it lasts for a peaceful month and a half but, lo and behold, it happens again. it had gradually been getting louder, yes, but he figured they would realize and stop. after some debate, and hyping himself up enough for the confrontation, he goes to talk to them

hes totally ready and prepared as he knocks on the door, but all of that quickly dies in his throat as his apparently very hot neighbor opens the door in pajamas

bryce doesnt let it show, of course, but instead of the anger he planned on, the conversation takes a very pleasant turn as he cant get anything other than niceties out. after introducing himself, he manages to ask if jensen could maybe please just a little if its at all possible keep the noise down after 11 pm since bryce can hear it through the wall. jensen immediately apologizes (bc ofc he would make it even more difficult for bryce to be upset with him) before agreeing and closing the door

the next day he gives a loose rundown to the others, and of course they ask how the confrontation itself went. the end of the conversation ends something like this:

jackie: you cant cave at the sight of every hot guy you run into

bryce: i dont usually, it was just unexpected!

elijah: well, its gonna happen again im sure, so be ready

and bryce thinks he will be. he gets another two months out of it before it happens again, and this time hes actually pissed off. he marches himself over there at some ungodly hour, knocking on the door and most certainly not getting distracted by jensen only wearing boxers and a tank top

he has that fresh "i havent slept in three days" look to him, eyes dark and apologizing through a yawn before bryce can even get a word out

...and then he feels bad. he asks if jensens alright just before he can close the door, to which jensen explains just how perfectly fine he is, its just insomnia. ah. things click into place, and bryce manages to make a lighthearted joke about how hes at least learning something from the documentaries he must be watching considering how many times bryce has heard david attenborough's voice through the wall

he actually gets a laugh out of jensen before they head their separate ways

gradually, bryce starts seeing him around more. occasionally they help with each others groceries, chat in the hall, etc etc

after a few months of this (and some peace and quiet on bryces part), he hears jensen talking down the hall with one of their elderly neighbors. it wasnt weird for jensen to be over there, often changing a lightbulb or bringing up groceries, but this time seems a little more urget

bryce barely gets the key in the door before jensens heading down the hall for his apartment, giving him a smile just long enough to stall him from noticing the blood dripping down his hand before closing the door behind him

bryce of course opens it and follows him in, asking if hes alright and what happened. he was building a bookshelf for them and lost grip of the nail in his hand, accidentally sending one through the side of his hand

(we'll say bryce is still a surgeon in this) he quickly takes over for jensen, cleaning it up, getting it closed, and properly bandaging it

bryce finishes off the bookshelf for them and offers to get jensen dinner, which he refuses but bryce insists on anyway

as his hand is healing, bryce finds a few more excuses to bring over dinner, eventually confessing that hes not eating out to treat jensen, its because he cant cook for shit. they start doing a few mini cooking lessons at jensens place, which is obviously more alone time together, and one thing leads to another and they get together :)

#tysm this was so fun!! #i havent done something like this in a lont time (i used to do them all the time) so it was exciting for me :) #jensen valentine #bryce lahela × jensen valentine #bryce lahela #asks answers #au asks