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lunarticxenia · 3 years

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Moon Signs Pt. 1

My take on moon signs based off people I know! Now personally, I tend to have more strong opinions on my favorite moon signs than favorite sun signs. I feel like moon signs really indicate more about a person’s personality than their sun sign, imo. It does rule emotions and behavior after all. With sun signs I struggle with picking favorites because I do genuinely have people I like of every zodiac sign. I just go by the number of people I like from each zodiac sign. Anyhoo, here’s my view on each moon sign!

Note: These are p long bc I have such strong thoughts on moon signs so I’m splitting it into two parts. :)

🍂 Aries Moon: Ahhh, my moon sign. I won’t be biased though, I promise. So Aries moons based off other people I know is that we low-key got anger issues LMAO. Every single Aries moon I’ve met besides myself has anger issues, with the exception of one person and she still gets irritated easily. Aries Moons are also extremely sensitive, and they tend to be overlooked for that since they’re fire signs. I’ve found that a lot of what they get angry about has to do with their feelings, if they feel they’ve been wronged this really can make them angry as they are super sensitive. They also get angry when they feel like people aren’t listening to them, as they take this very personally. I’ve also noticed that Aries moons are EXTREMELY honest, they will tell it how it is and they are extremely blunt. They don’t like to beat around the bush, and they are very direct with how they feel about something. Aries moons are also extremely passionate and spontaneous especially in relationships; they’re the ones who wanna kiss in the rain and ride horses into the sunset, that is if you can get them to settle down with you LMAO. Nah all jokes, they’re picky about who they want, but once they really fall for someone it’s very hard for them to let go. They’re also so competitive, they will play dirty. My grandpa used to let me win in checkers as a kid, my dad (who’s an Aries moon) NEVER let me win. He said me losing would help build character LMFAO. He just didn’t wanna lose.They also have strong personalities and can be SUPER impulsive. Also, if they wanna do something, they WILL do it. No one is gonna stop them. If they wanna go somewhere at 3am, they’re doing it. Sorry. You can’t stop them. LMAO. Aries moons also love to be in touch with their inner child, my dad is an Aries moon and bought himself an arcade machine out of nowhere LMAO. I also like to collect shells and watch Disney movies to remind me of my childhood. They also tend to change their views and opinions on things a lot, and mind you they have intense emotions about these things. So it can be hard to keep up w them.

🍂 Taurus Moon: Taurus moons are just so calm, it’s scary LMAO. I know a few of them, and even if they’re anxious about something you can never tell. They always have this calm demeanor and just seem so unbothered by everything. Taurus moons also LOVE money and the finer things in life. The male Taurus moons I know work a lot just so they can have a lot of money. One of them literally said to me “Money talks” after explaining to me why they work 7 days a week, 12 hours a day doing two jobs. The crazy thing is, despite doing all that extra work, he just seemed so unbothered about it LMAO. The female Taurus moons I know tend to love really expensive clothes and dressing up. This Taurus moon I work with has such nice clothes and always dresses like she’s on a Vogue cover. Like I said, Taurus moons LOVE money and the finer things in life like expensive clothes. If they aren’t the types to dress up or be workaholics, they desire comfort. They would rather lay in bed and take hot bathes than be bothered to do all that extra stuff. They also might like to eat out at expensive restaurants, and are “foodies”. They also might be big lovers of music and have lots of different music tastes. Also, Taurus moons? STUBBORN. Good luck trying to get them to change their mind on something. Also, despite them wanting all the luxuries and comfort of life, they are SUPER grounded. They do not live in a dream world, they see life for what it is, and prefer to be on the ground than have their heads in the clouds. Also, Taurus moons, I’m sorry, but y’all can be lazy. I work with three of them, and they can be lazy. They will not do more than the bare minimum. Also, their anger is low-key scary. Especially since it can come out of nowhere since they’re calm all the time, you never know when they’re angry and if you catch them at the wrong time... well, rip. They also tend to be introverted- even if they’re social, you will not know anything about them unless you’re besties with them or related to them. Doesn’t matter how well you know them, they don’t air their dirty laundry and keep their private life private. Also one last thing, omg these people sing all the time. They love singing to themselves, every single one I’ve met does that LMAO. Anyway, love my Taurus moons.

🍂 Gemini Moon: Gemini moons love to make people laugh LMAO and love to just sit down and have good talks with people. Their minds NEVER stop working. Good luck trying to get them to stop talking once they know you. They can and will talk about anything for hours. Now, I do admire that, but sometimes I just wanna relax and they won’t stop talking to me LMFAO. My dad’s girlfriend is a Gemini moon and at family gatherings she loves to dance around and try to get everyone else to dance. I find that Gemini moons are very active and love to move around, and try to get everyone to have fun. Definitely the life of the party. They’re super amusing and also love to tell jokes and funny stories. Now not all of them are extroverts especially if they have an earth sun sign. So that is something to consider. My cousin is a Gemini moon and tends to be more introverted, however, once she’s comfortable around someone and knows someone she’s super goofy and loves to make people laugh. Gemini moons also love to learn, they’re always teaching themselves about something. My cousin who’s a Gemini moon just randomly started teaching herself how to do sign language (she’s good at it also)! These people are also SUPER adaptable, they can get along with any kind of personality and can adapt to any situation. I’ve also noticed that they love to playfully roast people and annoy them LMAO. I have noticed that they struggle with reading the room, they tend to just continue to annoy someone and can take it too far, which can get kind of annoying. They’re also extremely curious and are always asking questions. They love to ask random questions without any context. It’s a quirk a lot of them have. Trying to tell a story to them can be frustrating because if you mention certain terms they’ll ask you what they mean LMFAO. My dad was telling a story about how he used surfing to explain physics concepts in class and his girlfriend asked what the concepts were and what they mean. Also, they’re really good at giving advice. These people would make great psychologists imo. This girl I used to talk to (who’s a Gemini moon) actually is becoming a psychologist, so there you go LMAO.

🍂Cancer Moon: Oh Cancer moons...you guys are so sensitive. They feel everything and anything. I haven’t met a Cancer moon that isn’t an empath. They are extremely good at reading other people and sensing their motives. My mother is a Cancer moon, and she’s always been able to tell who’s toxic in my life. She doesn’t even have to meet them either, just based off of stories I tell her, she can pick it up right away. Now, everyone always says Cancer moons are super close with their family and that’s definitely not always the case. The Cancer moons I’ve met have actually had a lot of problems with their family. Now the thing that I’ve noticed with these placements is that despite how toxic their family is, they always stick by them. Even if they’re not close. So I wouldn’t say they’re all super close with their families, but they always stick up for them, which can be an issue if their family is toxic. Also, Cancer moons, SUPER MOODY. I’m sorry but like I’m a Cancer sun and they’re ten times more moody than I am LMFAO. I’ve always said they act more like the stereotypical Cancer than Cancer suns. Also, this is a super underrated placement for humor. Every Cancer moon I’ve met has been super funny. Also, a super underrated placement for anger issues. Everyone says oh yeah Aries moons have anger issues, like yes, BUT HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN CANCER MOON ANGER?! Y’all Taylor Swift is a Cancer moon and wrote a whole album about how fed up she was about the media mistreating her and the whole Kimye thing (rightfully so) but y’all see my point. They can and will fight you. They also tend to be introverted, even if they’re social, (which I rarely see), they would much rather keep to themselves. I’ve also noticed that they’re very nostalgic a lot. My Cancer moon ex used to just randomly go through childhood photos and would show them to me. They’re also EXTREMELY protective over people they love, they will KILL for the people they love. They also love to talk about their dream homes and interior decorating a lot? My Cancer moon ex was OBSESSED with coming up with his dream house and would literally draw out diagrams for me to see. My mother too, she wants to redecorate her apartment and was showing me all the potential furniture that was gonna be put in. Oh Cancer moons, LMAO.

🍂 Leo Moon: Oh Leo moons. You guys can be so dramatic LMAO. Every Leo moon I’ve met is so dramatic; these are the types of people who get up and move around when telling a story and also do dramatic hand gestures. These are the types of people who post a black screen in middle school on Snapchat saying “Don’t hmu.” LMAO. My Leo moon friend gets so mad when I make that joke, but it’s so true. These people are also naturally super creative, the Leo moons I know love to decorate and draw. Even if they don’t do any outright creative hobbies, they have a creative streak to them. It’s weird though because despite them being very dramatic when it comes to them being angry, they struggle with expressing their personal problems to other people. (This however can be changed with other placements, but I’ve found this to be true in many cases). They don’t want people to think that they’re weak, so they put up a tough front to hide that they’re hurting. Also, Leo moons, are indeed the hype friends. My Leo moon friends gas up my Instagram posts so much. They’re also extremely loyal and don’t like to leave people out, they hate that kind of shit. They’re also extremely accepting of others, my Leo moon friend was the first person I came out to, and they accepted me right away. They also love to take pictures of EVERYTHING. Like when you go out with them, they will make you wait before eating your food so they can take video of your food together LMAO. They love to capture every moment, I personally find it very endearing. Also, a lot of people say Leo moons are super cocky. I don’t find this to be true. They can come off that way, but I’ve found they tend to actually be pretty insecure and they try to hide it by coming off as confident. I feel like Leo moons tend to put on a show a lot to hide how they truly feel, which makes it hard to get to know them. It makes me sad because they truly are such kind hearted people and all they want is to feel validation. I also found that they love to go above and beyond to make sure everyone else is happy and tend to put themselves last. I wish y’all didn’t do that, you deserve to be happy too. ;(

🍂 Virgo Moon: Workaholics. That’s how I’m starting this LMAO. My friend is a Virgo moon and works her ass off. She goes above and beyond in school for starters. For this anatomy course we had together, she sent me a whole diagram she made of the human brain on Notability and it was so intricately made. She also works her ass off at her job and takes care of her siblings. I feel like this falls into Virgo placements putting others before themselves. Virgo moons are definitely the types to be like this. They want to make everyone happy and they want to feel useful so they do all these extra things to feel that way. Virgo moons are also super smart, and have the best study methods. Low-key jealous. They have this incredible drive and are always on top of things and have a routine. Also Virgo moons LOVE animals. My friend who’s a Virgo moon, works at a dog sitting business and has 6 pets at home. They LOVE animals. They also like honesty and bluntness; they will provide you with that as well. They don’t like beating around the bush or lying to make other people feel better. You wanna know if you look bad in a dress? Ask a Virgo moon, LMFAO. I’ve also found that they struggle with wanting to be perfect all the time, and struggle with anxiety. As I said, they want to be the best at everything, and this can be a big source of anxiety for them. These people also find themselves attracting people who they want to “fix”. They also give amazing advice and are super reliable. Also, last minute plans? They HATE them. Want a Virgo moon to hate you? Try making spontaneous plans with them LMAO. Virgo moons also have great memories; they’ll remember every little detail about you. Also Virgo moons are the types to take charge in a group project and run the whole thing because they don’t trust anyone. Virgo moons also always appear to be calm and collected, even though many of them frequently deal with anxiety a lot. Also, they’re low-key underrated for humor. They have a very dry and self-deprecating sense of humor LMAO. They also go above and beyond in relationships because they enjoy seeing the people they love being happy.

Anyhoo, this wraps up part one! Also these are just my opinions, so don’t get offended I tried to praise and drag all of them equally <3

Part 2 here.

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homo-sex-shoe-whale · 3 years

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Online shipping, the fetishisation of gay men, and the romanticisation of queer trauma

An essay by me!

Word count: 2.8k

A link to the Google Doc version of this essay.

A big thank you to my friends Nathan @themeerkatnate, Mav @not-mavv , and Duke @dukedark-ness for reading this essay and giving me their thoughts as mlms on the topic. Make sure to check out their blogs and give them a follow!

So I was on a lovely website by the name of Twitter.com yesterday, just scrolling through while having my afternoon cup of coffee, when I saw that viral post of a girl reading a Larry fanfic through a classroom projector. I'm sure most of you have seen it. It's gone viral on Instagram, TikTok, and likely Tumblr too, and if you haven't come across it I'm positive you will soon.

Now, after getting through my initial reaction to that post which was, holy fuck, that's so embarrassing, I had a second reaction of... wait, this ship is still around?

And after I had some thoughts on the incredible permanence of some online ships and the weird obsolescence of others, I did get to thinking of how lots of these popular ships seem to stem from the same types of perceived relationship dynamics and homophobic stereotypes.

These online fandoms often seem to have an obsession with objects of queer trauma, such as having to hide a relationship, lying about sexuality for self-preservation, and even social rejection. So, after some opinions from my followers and the great archive that is the internet, I've decided to discuss some of the most popular examples of online shipping and the particular nuances they came with.

NOTE: Out of respect for all these people, I won't be sharing viral images or videos of them in perceived romantic proximity (or even kissing, as is applicable for some examples), but I will be describing certain moments I deem to be relevant. So even if you're unfamiliar with them, you won't be confused as to what I'm talking about.

NOTE 2: Although not all people within these fandoms were/are toxic, this essay is focused on the overall toxicity of the fandoms, and how they are toxic more so as a "hive" than as a group of individuals. When I refer to a fandom I don't mean every person involved in the fandom, but rather the collective impact of the group.

1. Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson

This is arguably the most popular example of online shipping. The absolute permanence of this ship, and how its fandom never seems to fully die off even beyond the lifespan of One Direction as it once stood, is downright impressive.

I'm going to be the first to admit I was never in the loop with this fandom. My childhood best friend was actually a massive Larry shipper and asked me to beta read one of her fics, but that was before I even knew who tf Harry and Louis were! Not because I avoided the fandom or even because I rejected the online shipping, but just by coincidence, I delved into the world of pop punk music right when One Direction began gaining its popularity. I bought my first ever album, Riot by Paramore, in 2011- only a year after One Direction made their X-Factor debut. So, this fandom just bypassed me by a sort of weird coincidence.

But I don't need to be in the loop with this fandom to know the astronomical obsession with these two men, no, these two BOYS, was extremely toxic. In 2010, when One Direction made their debut, Harry Styles was only 16 years old. And Louis Tomlinson wasn't much older at 19! This made the two of them incredibly young when this unprecedented wave of shipping hit the internet, and although that must be traumatising for anyone, I cannot even fathom how overwhelming it must've been for two boys that young.

I'm 18, almost 19 now, and I cannot begin to imagine how scary it was for the two of them to have their every interaction nitpicked within an inch of its life by thousands upon thousands of people online. I do not know this myself, but from numerous recounts by some of my followers, this massively impacted Harry's and Louis' nondescript relationship in real life, seemingly driving the two previously close friends apart.

Now, before we move on, there's something we need to talk about. And that is the obsession with the dominance/submission dynamic within the world of gay shipping.

With almost every popular mlm (an acronym meaning man-loving-man) ship based on real people, it seems that fandoms have a particular fascination with power imbalances in these relationships. You don't even need to look at the insane amount of fanfictions based on BDSM to figure this out. In almost all of the examples I'll be citing today, there is an age gap within the perceived relationship and a person the fandom has seemingly decided to be the top/dominant figure.

Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson are 3 years apart in age. Although it isn't all that relevant now, an age gap of 3 years when you're in your late teens is a lot more significant. In 2012, for example, when this shipping really started gaining traction, Harry Styles was 18 and Louis Tomlinson was 21. That power imbalance, albeit not that significant, is enough for a fandom to latch on to. We'll see this a lot more in the coming example with Dan and Phil.

2. Dan Howell and Phil Lester

It's impossible to have a discussion about internet shipping without talking about Dan and Phil.

Dan Howell and Phil Lester, although being popular YouTubers individually, are arguably one of the internet's most iconic duos. The two creators published their first videos together in 2009, and while their relationship was already a motive of speculation back then, the peak of the "Phan" shipping definitely came in the 2013-2016 era of Tumblr.

Now, I'm going to admit… I was actually on Tumblr when that happened.

The 2013-2016 period perfectly aligns with my middle school days (I started middle school in 2013 and high school in 2016), and I was not only on Tumblr back then, but I was on Wattpad too! Again, this wasn't a fandom I had much contact with as I had a huge anime phase in middle school and I was on Tumblr posting mainly photography and Soul Eater content more than anything.

But I did watch some of Dan and Phil's videos! And the occasional "Phan" content did not completely evade me as one of my closest friends in middle school had a fanchat for them. I wasn't involved in the fandom myself but they were actually one of the few English-speaking YouTubers I watched once in a blue moon (back then I watched mainly Brazilian YouTubers). One thing I did in fact notice over the years, around 2014ish perhaps, was that the two of them seemed to grow increasingly "awkward" around each other, in a way that many folks on the internet thought was reminiscent to Markiplier/Jacksepticeye, two YouTubers who also dealt with extraordinary amounts of shipping.

I'm not the only one who thinks this. The change in Dan and Phil's relationship, at least to the outside world, was clear to almost anyone who watched their videos for a while. I cannot blame them at all. The shipping was nuts. Between the countless fan videos, speculative comments, and insurmountable number of fanfics, there's no way the two of them didn't feel the weight of the shipping. The term "demon phannie" made its way into internet vernacular and there it stayed for years. Even Shane Dawson, who was one of the largest creators on the platform at the time, made several videos speculating on the nature of Dan and Phil's relationship and their sexual orientations.

There was even porn made in which actors with similar appearances to the creators were made to have sex on camera.

Now, this is actually a rare example where the two people involved in the ship actually came out as gay once the shipping seemed to die down. I'm incredibly happy Dan and Phil both reached a point where they were comfortable being publicly out, but I hate to say I'm shocked this day ever came. If I'd gone through what the two of them did, I don't know if I'd ever trust the internet.

And again, this ship's fandom definitely had an obsession with the power dynamics they thought existed between the people within the ship. Dan Howell is 4 years younger than Phil Lester, and was only 18 in 2009, when they started making videos together. From my personal understanding, the shipping was often quite focused on this dominant/submissive dynamic especially in discussions from their early relationship. And this is in no way exclusive to Dan and Phil.

This general fascination with the older man/younger man dynamic, in my opinion, plays into the homophobic stereotype that gay men are predators. The idea that gay men usually seek younger men, and somehow "convince" them to engage in homosexual relationships, is popular homophobic rhetoric. The popularisation, exaggeration, and fetishisation of these power imbalances, in age and/or in relationship dynamics, is directly harmful to the mlm community.

Not only that, but the romanticisation of a "hidden/forbidden relationship" is also detrimental not only to gay men and the mlm community, but to queer people as a whole. Queer people face huge trauma having to hide their relationships; queer attraction is already a societal taboo. And acting like this is good, or even desirable, is harmful to queer people as a whole, regardless of whether or not it's actually applicable to the people being shipped. It normalises this trauma not only to cisgender, heterosexual people, but to impressionable queer youth who grow to believe this type of trauma is to be expected.

3. Frank Iero and Gerard Way

This is another example where the perceived power imbalances between the two subjects of the shipping were directly exploited online. Now, this ship did precede the others mentioned above. If we're looking at this topic chronologically, this particular ship did come first in the shipping timeline. It's closer to the origin of the shipping extended universe, if you will.

In case you aren't familiar with them, Frank Iero and Gerard Way are both members of the American emo band My Chemical Romance. This ship is the first one here of which I don't recall the full popularity. It really peaked in popularity around the late 2000s, circa 2008. And I don't remember this moment online as in 2008, I was only 6 years old and believe it or not, I wasn't really all that concerned with rumoured homoeroticism as a first grader.

However, the popularity of this ship did carry over into the 2013-2015 Tumblr shipping boom. The emo fandom (or "bandom" as it was called) involving not only My Chemical Romance but other similar bands such as Fall Out Boy, Panic! At The Disco, and Pierce the Veil, found its hub on Tumblr.

During this time, I did in fact listen to this style of music, but was focused a lot more on the anime side of Tumblr as mentioned earlier. Of course, I wasn't 13 years old like, "hey, this type of content might be harmful and can inadvertently perpetuate homophobic stereotypes," I just happened to care more about my silly little anime and ended up not getting involved.

This ship does involve a discussion that the others don't, however. With Frank Iero and Gerard Way, there is quite often a certain sentiment of, "Oh, they brought this upon themselves!" as the two band members very famously kissed during a show in 2007. In my opinion, though, this doesn't really justify all the obsessive shipping. If you look at Green Day, a band often grouped in with MCR as another famous pop punk group, the members don't follow too different of a trajectory. Billie Joe Armstrong has, on numerous occasions, kissed both of his fellow band members onstage- particularly Tré Cool, the drummer. And Billie Joe Armstrong is openly bisexual, which none of the members of MCR seem to be but some, or even all of Billie's bandmates, are too.

You'd think Green Day would face a lot more shipping as the more persistent onstage homoeroticism and Billie Joe's openness about his sexuality would warrant more "substantiated" speculation. However, Green Day faces nowhere near as much shipping as My Chemical Romance. Why is this? I actually don't know. It might've been because Green Day has been around for over a decade longer and generally has an older fandom, but I really am not that sure.

It could also be because of the lower lack of potential for forced relationship dynamics. The members of Green Day are all less than a year apart in age and are even similar in height. However, Frank Iero is 4 years younger than Gerard Way, who is not only the frontman of My Chemical Romance, but also considered to be the group's intellectual and creative "leader". Even beyond that, Gerard Way is quite visibly taller, and the perceived power difference between the two of them definitely did not elude their fans.

This difference could even be partly due to the lack of a "mystery" with Green Day. There's not as much to speculate as, well… the members of Green Day are already open about their sexual orientations. It might be that shipping in the Green Day fandom has less of a forbidden appeal for most people.

Of course, I won't just keep repeating myself, but my previous points about forced relationship dynamics still stand.

4. Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberbatch

Better known for their roles in BBC Sherlock as Sherlock and Watson, Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberbatch unfortunately had their roles follow them well into real life. This is the example I know least about, so have these thoughts from a follower by the name of @indubitably-a-goblin, who had the following to say:

"the main issues i had with it were:

a) they were both married at the time, freeman to amanda abbington and cumberbatch to sophie hunter (in which both had children)

b) the main reasoning for it was their chemistry in the many projects they've done together. which is, shockingly, their Whole Job. They're actors! That's what they're supposed to do! if they weren't good at interacting then they wouldn't be good actors! i don't know how people can't understand this.

c) they're real people. we don't know them. we aren't friends with them. we aren't their family members. we have zero right to be pushing this onto them and ruining their friendship by doing so. (this one relates to most of the ships you've mentioned though)

d) healthy friendships between two men are ignored so plainly in most medias and in fandom. its obvious that these two men have a relationship, but that doesn't mean it's a romantic one.

e) its fine to ship their characters, but actors shouldn't be treated as less-than-human or some sort of prop. they're doing a job, and once they are off-screen, they aren't here for your entertainment."

I believe she did a great job of summing it up on her own, and for the sake of avoiding redundancy, I'll leave it at that!

5. Corpse Husband and Sykkuno- an emerging yet subtle example

I am absolutely positive you remember how popular the game Among Us was a couple of months ago. And with the popularity of this game, some of its most prominent content creators became the targets of online shipping- as is the case with YouTubers and streamers Corpse Husband and Sykkuno.

Although the shipping involving these two creators is nowhere near as strong as it was/is with the examples above, I do think there is once again a reemergence of a common theme here. Whilst Sykkuno is known for his happy-go-lucky, almost "innocent" persona, Corpse Husband is the antithesis of this, known for his much darker and moodier personality.

Do I even have to mention what the common theme seems to be?

Again, although the popularity of shipping - at least with real people - seems to have died down a bit since the Tumblr shipping boom of the early to mid 2010s, I do believe this example is worth mentioning. Even though the creators are still close, they have in fact expressed discomfort regarding the shipping, and I can only hope the internet as a whole lets their friendship blossom and exist naturally without obsessive speculation.

My final thoughts

As explored in the essay:

The romanticisation of objects of queer trauma as a part of online shipping normalises queer trauma to both cishet and queer youth.

Online shipping, especially at a high intensity, can end up negatively impacting the very relationships they pine over.

The relationship dynamics often forced on mlm ships perpetuate homophobic stereotypes about non-heterosexual men.

If anyone else has thoughts on this matter, do share! This essay is moreso an opinionated observational piece and isn't meant to be taken as fact but rather just as my thoughts on the matter. I hope it was useful as a reflective piece regardless!

Date of posting: June 16th 2021

#lgbt #lgbtq #gay #mlm #I cannot believe I said the phrase 'shipping extended universe'

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son-fuori-di-me · 3 years

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"I had no idea I could change someone's life."

One Shot. Word Count | Around 3300. Description | <French female pov> you're visiting Rome for the first time, and you casually meet Damiano David the day before the Circo Massimo concert. The conversation takes a unexpected path.

Content | Real talk. No romantic development. * Expect French idioms and italian approximations from automatic translators

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"Bordel, c'est immense !" ("Holy cow, that's big !") I said, looking at the Circo Massimo.

It was my first time in Rome. Knowing Italy a bit, I expected a hell lot of sun, a delicious bunch of ice cream for each meal, and tons of pretty things to snap with my phone. Well, that was the plan for my first two days there. Cause Saturday would be a very different day. Saturday would be Måneskin day.

I've been waiting for so long to do this trip. And what a blast it has been for now. Took only a bag, my external battery, some makeup and my favourite clothes to finally discover this astonishing city. This was my first solo trip. I've always travelled with my family or my ex, but never on my own. For once, I could decide what I wanted to see, what I wanted to eat, when to take a break. And as there are plenty of things to see in Rome, i wanted to enjoy every second of my trip. I could focus my last day there solely to the Måneskin concert happening that Saturday night. But as I didn't want to leave anything to chance, I decided to precisely organize my last day, so I could visit a bit more - a get a last fantastic meal before the concert.

I got myself a gold pit ticket. I guessed that would mean I had a special queue. So on Friday night, as I was back from a late tour in town, I decided to watch more closely the Circo, to check for the entrances, and see how I could sharpen my organization and schedule for the next day.

"J'espère que je vais pas avoir à poireauter toute la journée, avec la chaleur qu'il va faire." ("I hope won't have to hang around here all day tomorrow, the weather's gonna be hot as hell")

It was almost 10 pm. I was getting closer to the Circo, trying to read the boards, but all was written in italian and didn't seem to concern the concert. And a year fangirling over Måneskin clearly wasn't enough to become fluent. I saw no sign mentioning "gold pit". So I decided I would ask around, with Google translate ready in my phone in case I couldn't find anyone speaking English.

I saw a guy sit on a bench, smoking. He was dressed in an ugly dark sweater, with the hood over a cap. He was either a drug dealer or a hobbo. My instinct as a girl living in Paris got the uphand and I decided to ignore the guy and try to find a woman instead, or maybe a group of locals, to get me the information I wanted. Unfortunately, after a good 20 minutes walking around and asking people, no one could tell me how to make sure I find the right queue for the concert. I was about to give up and head back to my airbnb and I saw a silhouette still sitting on a bench, near the Circo. It was the same guy from earlier. "Bon, je tente, s'il est trop chelou, je me barre." ("Well, might as well take the risk, if he's too much a weirdo, I clear off quickly.")

"Scusi, do you speak English ?" i said, getting closer to the guy, but still from a good distance in case it turned wrong.

"Pretty good. You need something ?" He was searching something in his pockets and reached his pack of cigarettes. His voice was deep, but gentle. He did look funny but didn't sound dangerous - i still didn't get too close as I hate the smell of smoke.

"Do you know well il Circo Massimo ? I'm going to a concert here tomorrow and I want to make sure I find the right queue, but they haven't installed any sign yet". I asked, showing the structure of the stage behind me.

"Cute accent, where are you from ?" he answered, completely ignoring my question.

"Well, I'm French. So, do you know il Circo ?" I preferred to quickly repeat my question to let him know I wasn't interested in whatever he was trying to.

"Ah, Bonjour ! I speak a little French !" He said, now reaching for his lighter.

"Yeeaaaah cool, but how about the Circo ? I'd like to be here early enough, but I don't know wh-" I froze as he lighted up his cigarette. It was brief, but with the spark, I saw his face for a second.

"Hm ? You don't know what ?" He asked, with a smirky voice.

"Mais naaaan ?" ("Dont tell me -") I let out that typical French astonished sound without thinking. "You gotta be kidding me !"

He laughed as I was getting a little closer, staring at him. With one hand, he was putting his lighter back in his pocket, with the other, he lifted a bit his cap. It was him. It was Damiano.

I felt my spine shiver with that uncomfortable sensation of being around someone famous. As a journalist, I had my lot of interviews, so I knew there's no point in changing behavior around such people. But I still was flabbergasted to see him.

"Sorry, I didn't recognize you. Well, gotta say you're not dressed in your best outfit !" I chose the strategy of sass, to hide how impressed I actually was.

"That's my favourite sweater you're seeing me in, and I'm smoking hot in it" He said with a smirk, getting into the sassy game.

"Time off before the big day ?" I asked, completely forgotting about my initial request and switching to my interview mindset when I'm super focused about the conversation. "Shouldn't you be having a great night of sleep, to recharge your batteries ?"

"I don't feel like going to bed" He said, having no idea how the conversation would soon turn. Fortunately for him, I wasn't working in the music media industry. "That's quite a stage we're gonna play on."

I didn't know why he was talking to me about all of this. I didn't dare to ask him either. I just enjoyed the moment.

"Well, the Eurovision song contest was bigger, wasn't it ?"

"Hm, don't tell me about it, I still don't know how I managed that."

He suddenly had a strange tone in his voice. It didn't sound like the radiant and confident Damiano you see on Instagram stories or on TV interviews. I remembered where I heard him like that. In the 2019 documentary "This is Måneskin", the making of Il Ballo Della Vita album, in the sequence he's arguing with Vic on a train, as he tells her how anxious he can be get sometimes.

"Well, you did, didn't you ?" I put on a more serious voice. "And you had a ton more of pressure, representing your whole country ? So how a concert here in your home town could be worst than performing in front of all of Europe - not to say the whole world ?"

He was still smoking, listening in silence.

"Or maybe it isn't about how big the performance is but about performing in itself ? Why are you performing ? Why are you putting on a show ? All those fancy clothes and that makeup, who is it for ? For people to love you ? Or for you to love yourself ?"

Mais qu'est-ce que je branle ? Il va se barrer dans deux secondes, là c'est sûr (What the fuck am I doing ? He's leaving any second now.) I got a bit too excited about being able to share a few words with him. What's gotten onto me ? Well, let's go then.

"What is it you're running after ? Or running from maybe ? Some complex to compensate ? With all that smudge and confidence, that wouldn't surprise me."

He sat back on the bench. As he inhaled a deep breath of smoke, I saw a smile on his face. But I also saw his hand holding the cigarette shaking.

"Are you a psychiatrist or something ?" He simply said, as if he was trying to keep his voice as steady as possible.

I hesitated to tell him the truth. I was sure he would walk away the second he would know my actual job. Et puis merde, autant tout dire. (Well, fuck, might as well be honest.)

"Nope, I'm a journalist." I admited, as he looked right back at me with a surprised look. "Pretty much the same. We get appoitments with random people, listen to their life, observe their body language, and tell them our whole opinion about all of it, which might very well shape how they perceive themselves from now on."

"Only difference is that you don't have to keep anything secret. Right the contrary."

There. This was it. He was gonna leave now, for sure.

"Before you go, did I hit any truth ? Don't worry, I'm not in the music media industry, I won't write anything from our conversation." I hoped this information would save me a few more seconds with him.

He didn't answer right away. He didn't leave either. He kept looking at me, still smoking his second cigarette in a row now.

"Whatever it is you write about, I guess you must be good at it" he finally replied. "Cause you did score a few points."

Another short silence broke. As a fan, I was obsessed with his music, lyrics, and attitude. But catching a glimpse of what lied behind the glamour definitly caught my interest. I wanted to know more.

"Why are you here ?" I slightly deepened my voice, getting back to my interview tone, and kept on going with this as if that was usual business for me. "It's half past 10. You play on Rome's largest stage tomorrow. You surely better should be in bed, or be about to, before the big day."

In that moment, I had the upper-hand in the conversation. He was sat on the bench, I was on my feet in front of him, and therefore above him. Not the best approach to get someone's trust for an interview, but with a personnality like Damiano's, you gotta put your own show.

"I actually don't sleep much before big events like these" He finally answered, accepting his condition as an interviewee. "I don't sleep much at all."

"You're tend to insomnia ?"

"Not really, I just got used to 4-5 hours of sleep, that's it."

"Even during tours ? Cause this all sold-out European tour for Teatro d'Ira must have been exhausting".

"You have no idea, bellezza."

"So tell me." From there, I decided to change my strategy and sat on the ground, still in front of him, but giving him the upper-hand, to put on a more trustful atmosphere. "How are you doing ? And I don't mean, like casual 'yay, fine', I mean : how are you doing ?"

I still have no idea of my tactical move of giving him more space to express himself worked, or if he understood right away where I was leading him, but in the end, he still didn't seem bothered by this conversation we were having. In fact, it looked like he was enjoying it.

"I'm... content, I'd say." He paused, and I didn't interrupt him with another question this time. "I know I'm going through the life I wanted. The music, the tours, the praise. It's all I could have ever asked for."

D'accord, très bien, mais ? (Okey, very good, but ?) I stayed silent, but I couldn't help anticipating what he was saying.

"But surprisingly, sometimes it's still... unfulfilling. Like I can never be satisfied".

Repressing some Hamilton's lyrics from my mind, I innocently pretend I didn't fully understand what he meant - another journalistic technique, to get someone to repeat themselves with other words in order to get them deeper into their reflexion.

"What do you mean, "never be satisfied" ? You're on top of Spotify chart list, your albums are now platinum successes, you're winning awards. How is this not satisfying ?"

"It's just... What are all those things for ? Money ? Fame ? Yeah, I like those but..."

"Typical Capricorn" I muttered, to slide in the conversation that I actually knew pretty well my subject - my subject being him. He chuckled.

"Damn really ? Let me guess ? Aries ?"

"Pisces+Taurus, actually. So what, you don't like being famous ?" Getting back quickly into more questions - another technique to keep control over the rhythm of an interview.

"It's not that I dislike it. It's just... not always as fun as I thought it would be."

"What part of the job ? The writing and composing ?"

"No, that's the best part." He reached for a third cigarette. It was almost 11 pm now. "Vic, Thomas and Ethan. Måneskin. They're the best thing that ever happened to me".

"Then what, you feel like a fraud ?"

"Hell, no ! I'm exactly where I should be." He claimed, with a light pride tone.

"So, if you're proud of what you create, and if you love the people you create that with, then what is the matter ? If life is about getting the Bare Necessities, it seems like you got it all." Hitting with a universal - and musical - reference. Shoud do the trick.

"Hahaha ! Lo stretto indispensabile, si ! But life isn't that easy." He said laughing, as I felt he started to let go of the tension. "In real life, you get judged all the time, and people try to dismantle you, and spread rumors."

"I didn't think you'd be one to listen to people's comments about you".

"I'm not. I stopped giving credits to those. But it's still here, you know ?"

"From what I see, you're keeping it real, with lots of wisdom. I can't quite grasp what seem to bother you."

He paused, looking at his feet for a few seconds.

"I'm afraid it won't last." He finally confessed. "I'm afraid it all ends as quickly as it all started. I'm afraid people get bored. I'm afraid I become a caricature of myself. I'm afraid I can't write new songs. I'm afraid to be a shooting star, you see ? Very bright, but gone in a flash."

"Like, to be an Icare ? Or may I say "Ykaaar" like on your Instagram ?"

He chuckled again.

"Huh, I'm that obvious ?"

"Yeah, even a bit over-the-top, if I may dare say so."

"Well, I've always related so much with this mythological figure. I mean what's wrong with aiming for the Sun ?" He said, pointing a hand to the dark sky above us. From his attitude, I could tell he was way more relaxed than in the beginning. He even took his cap and hood off, so I could now see his face more clearly. His eyes were glittering. "Burning your wings... What's that morale supposed to teach us ? Be modest ? Be moderate ? Che noia !" (How boring !)

"Well don't be !" I felt almost like scolding him. "There's nothing wrong with seeking big dreams. As there's nothing wrong with this feeling of being outrun by your life. Savour the moment. Every second of it. It's because you can't know how long it may last that it tastes so good, so thrilling ! And you actually already are ten steps ahead ! Writing songs like ´Torna a casa' or ´Coraline' at, what, 19-20 years old ? You're the real deal, dude. And even if later on, you get blank page anxiety or write just good-enough songs, it's okey. You got plenty of time to make mistakes. Take the leap of faith. Failing and being a failure aren't the same. You learn, you grow from it. It's okey to doubt yourself, but please, don't ever doubt all the love and support you get."

I paused, hoping I didn't do too far and missed my point. But in a way, I could also feel I got it right. He was looking at the Circo, his eyes even more sparkling than before.

"I..." He got up, standing on the bench, looking as tall as a statue from my perspective. He came down and took a few steps. I got on my feet, starting to feel concerned about what I just said.

"I didn't know I needed to hear that." He finally confided. "I always wanna reach perfection. I'm aware I can be authoritative, sometimes even harsh, on the band. I can't accept to be a failure. But love and support, that, I can't get enough of."

I didn't respond. There was nothing to add. This instant felt like an hour. The wind was slightly blowing through the length of the Circo in front of us. His hair reflected the gentle light of the moon, only showing her first quarter. He broke the tranquility of the moment, turning and taking a few steps in my direction.

"Grazie mille" he said, his arms opened, calling for a hug.

"But, you're very welcome" I said approaching him, softly putting my arms on his back as he put his over my shoulders. The second before his face disappeared from my vision, i noticed a tear on his cheek.

"You've completed reset my mind. I feel like I can start all over again. I was anguished, trapped by my anxiety. But it's all gone now. You've changed me. Thank you, thank you so much" He affirmed full of hope, his voice shivering.

"Wow, well. I had no idea I could change someone's life." I answered, trying to hide how moved I myself was from the conversation.

------

It was almost midnight now. We kept talking for a while, comparing life in Rome and Paris, exchanging what was our best concert experiences. But he still needed to get back home to rest before the concert, and I didn't want to arrive too late at my airbnb - even if I could have spent the whole night talking with him. Yet, to enjoy our last few minutes together, he offered to walk me back to where I was staying. It was just a 15 minutes walk, along the Tevere river bank.

"So tell me." he asked with a smirk. "How does the Bare Necessities go in French ?" He started to muffle the melody.

"Oh no, you don't expect me to actually sing it ?"

"Hehe, you got me into a therapy session, so I can get a little song from you, no ?"

"Damn, you. This is blackmail !" But drunk on the moment, I took a deep breath.

"Il en faut peeeeeeu pour être heureux, ("Look for the baaaaare necessities,") vraiment très peu pour être heureux, ("the simple bare necessities") il faut se satisfaire du nécessaire !" ("Forget about your worries and your strife")"

I started dancing along, if I had to be ridiculous, might as well utterly be. But he actually followed my lead, clicking his fingers.

"In fondo, baaaasta il minimo, ("I mean the baaaaare necessities") sapessi quanto è facile ("Old Mother Nature's recipes") Trovar quel po' che occorre per campar ! ("That brings the bare necessities of life !")

We kept on singing Disney songs for a few minutes as we walked at a slow pace - I was shocked he never saw Tarzan and immediately made him promise to watch it as i told him Phil Collins recorded all the songs in five languages, including Italian. When we finally reached my destination, we exchanged a last timid hug as farewell.

"Well, I'll see you on stage tomorrow." I told him as I crossed the street.

"And I'll look for you in the crowd !" He shouted with the brightest smile on his perfect face.

** the end **

#maneskin #damiano david #maneskin imagine #damiano david x reader #maneskin x reader #my writing

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ts1989fanatic · 3 years

Text

Taylor Swift, Britney Spears and the media cycle that demands pain from our pop stars

Emma Clifton 08:30, Feb 16 2021

Britney Spears was robbed of her public image during the height of her fame. Taylor Swift was robbed of her music during the height of hers.

Why does our pop culture system seem so intent on punishing the very women who keep it afloat. Emma Clifton looks at a decade in young singers – and the variously terrible ways they get treated while in the public eye.

There was a theory floated on the podcast You’re Wrong About that ‘fame is abuse’ and you’d be hard pressed not to agree if you were one of the many people who saw the recent New York Times documentary Framing Britney Spears, and realised just how badly we as a society treated Britney Spears before, during, and after her rise to fame.

The paparazzi, the media, the comedians – and then the fans and look-i-loos who continued to buy all the magazines that ran headlines about what a train-wreck she was, when really she was just someone in her early twenties, trying to raise two children while being one of the most famous – and hounded – people on the planet.

The documentary discussed at length how we as a pop-culture obsessed society love to build up a talented, attractive young woman and then buy popcorn in preparation of when we can gleefully watch them tumble from grace.

(And it’s not just pop stars, of course; the resplendent rise and then the racist fall of Meghan Markle’s position in public opinion is one of the most recent examples we have of when good headlines go bad.)

When I was working at Creme magazine, between 2009 and 2012, our pages were over-flowing with talented young pop singers: Taylor Swift, Selena Gomez, The Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus, Demi Lovato, Rihanna, One Direction, Justin Bieber.

When you look back on the decade that has passed by since, time has not been kind to any of these people.

Either the showbiz demon took something from each of them – or they had to completely disappear from sight for years at a time in order to survive. Sometimes both.

There have been eating disorders, drug overdoses, rehab stints, broken marriages, abusive relationships, chronic illnesses. These kids – and they were kids – were so young when they started, they’re already on their fourth or fifth reinventions.

Most of them haven’t hit 30 yet.

And when you’re a female pop star, so many of these reinventions revolve around your sexuality.

Heck, when I was at Creme, Demi, Selena and Miley were part of the ‘purity ring’ club, where they all gushed about staying away from sex until marriage while their stylists dressed them in the tightest clothes possible.

The message from the marketing teams behind each of them was very clear: Sell sex, but don’t ever enjoy it.

This is the same battle Britney faced a decade previously – look like a Lolita, but make sure you never have sex with your long-term boyfriend because then you’ll be expected to cry about the shame of it on national television.

This was also the time of paparazzi trying to take up-skirt photos (exactly what it sounds like) of female actresses as soon as they turned 18; 18 – the age where you can legally have sex in America – was a big deal in pop culture.

There was a countdown for when the Olsen Twins turned 18. When Lindsay Lohan turned 18, Rolling Stone ran a breast-focused cover shoot with the headline: ‘Hot, ready and LEGAL’. And it was just fine! Totally accepted. These girls, they were always up for it, right?

And then we get to Taylor Swift.

Taylor is re-releasing Love Story, the song that made her famous, the song that I first heard in the shower (yes, I had a shower radio) when I was 20 and immediately started crying, because it hit me square in the middle of my pop culture diagram: love songs and references to Romeo and Juliet.

It’s from her second album, Fearless, which she wrote when she was aged 16-18 and which won her four Grammys, including Album of the Year. It’s also an album that no longer belongs to her and she can no longer perform, due to some millionaire f...wittery committed by her former manager. But we’ll get to that.

From 2008 onwards, Taylor became a big deal for her music and then, like it always does for women, her love life became the centre drama.

She never talked about a purity ring (thank God) and she sung pretty openly about sex from her third album onwards (Sparks Fly, an iconic song), plus she had the audacity to date a bunch of boys and look happy while doing so. Naturally, her punishment awaited.

To this day, she is still ridiculed about lyrics she wrote in her first couple of albums… songs she wrote herself when she was literally a teenager.

If I had had written an album when I was a teenager, it would have been about my crush who caught the bus, Kevin from The Backstreet Boys, worrying about my thighs, and, I don’t know, my cystic acne.

I’m just saying – we let powerful men get away with s... they pulled when they were young with the old line ‘boys will be boys! They were just kids!’; it just never seems that generosity is never extended to young women and their far more harmless explorations of teenage sexuality.

Because she had yet to have a public mental health crisis or rehab stint, it was clear that Taylor was never going to be the architect of her own media downfall.

Luckily, one was invented for her. After a long-lasting stoush with Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, where absolutely no-one (including Taylor) came out looking good, Taylor suddenly because persona non grata in pop culture and the long-awaited comeuppance began.

And so, she disappeared – in a way that celebrities can do these days. (As a side note, can you imagine how different Britney Spears’ life might have been if she had been allowed to disappear for a couple of years?)

It was only when she released her documentary Miss Americana on Netflix that the public got what it had been craving the whole time – the dark side of Taylor Swift’s fame.

An eating disorder, a sexual assault that she ended up being sued for and, then, the poisoned cherry on top, losing the rights to all her past music thanks to her old manager.

Finally, our hunger for bad news had been satisfied. We had seen her scars and so we could allow her back into the spotlight again.

It’s been interesting watching the roll-out of new music from so many of these female artists during a pandemic: Selena, Demi, Miley, Ariana Grande are among the singers who have eschewed the normal long roll-out of publicity in order to release their own music, without much of the media fanfare that typically accompanies it.

Taylor herself released two albums, without any of the (slightly inane) games she normally includes in the lead-up. You can’t help but wonder that – stripped of their endless touring, performances and appearances, these female artists have found some freedom in being able to just get back to the actual work.

If a pop star releases an album in the middle of a pandemic and no-one is around to give a shit about any of the outfits she’s wearing, does it still count? Turns out, yes.

Following the betrayal of Britney, Taylor, Miley et al by the media, you can see the slow change to have total ownership of their voice these artists have taken.

Social media can be a devil for many reasons but it has overtaken journalists and publicists as the middle man when it comes to how these women get portrayed to the public. Beyoncé has been instrumental in this – it was she who first released an album overnight back in 2013; a move that came without warning and changed the entire industry forever.

She who stopped giving interviews almost entirely, choosing to use her own platforms to get her message and music across. As a result, she’s never been more powerful and she’s never been more private.

As an explicit ‘F... you’ to the powers-that-be who bought her music from under her, Taylor has announced she will be re-recording all of her old albums.

Stories about millionaires against millionaires rarely draw sympathy from a reader but it does highlight how little actually belongs to the artist at the end of the day.

They can have limited control over their image, their public appearances, their private life, their work and their songs. And these are the success stories – these are the people whose names we know.

You have to hope that anyone young and female entering the music business has their eyes very wide open as to just what can go wrong – and what can go wrong even when everything goes right.

The first album Taylor is re-releasing is Fearless, the album that is the most chock-a-block with fairy-tale imagery and glittery optimism.

She’s promised that the songs will be new interpretations on the old originals and that seems only fair.

You can’t help but think that those fairy-tale songs are going to sound a whole lot different being sung by a 31-year-old who’s been through the public wringer then they were as a wide-eyed 16-year-old, on the cusp of making her dreams come true.

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sanstropfremir · 3 years

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So I have opinions on the other stages but like most of us I can’t stop thinking about the SF9 stage. Hanya said it really well in her response but I think we have to break up the members into the ones who tried to emulate Taemin’s androgyny and those who just flat out didn’t try. So in order I’d put it Taeyang, Jaeyoon, Zuho. Those three stood out to me the most as really pushing into more feminine ways of carrying themselves and dancing especially Jaeyoon-like where did that man come from it was very unexpected. Then Chani and Inseong were both more neutral. I can’t put Chani in the first category mostly because of the contrast between his dancing and style with the female dancers that made it obvious that he was still trying to be more masculine despite having certain moves that definitely lend to a feline style like all the hip movements(whether consciously or unconsciously). And last Hwiyoung, Youngbin, and Dawon. I think this is the distinction that some people were making with “sexy” and “Taemin sexy”. Like everyone just associates him with sexiness but opening your shirt to show off your abs doesn’t fit with Taemin’s usual sensuality. Taemin seems to be more focused on movement (throwback to your post on his dancing style) so in order to emulate him there a certain attitude and way in which you carry yourself through movement is necessary. Also youngbin’s rap part did not fit with the concept either-it was too energetic and chill (too much swagger?). Like the way he moved compared to say Zuho was more in line with his usual stuff rather than fitting the way he moved to the stage and song. It’s also interesting to see that the outfits seem to also keep in line with this. Zuho and Taeyang have their midsections showing in a way that’s more common in women’s fashion then in men’s, Chani and Inseong are almost completely covered (so neither in one direction or the other) and Hwiyoung has his arms bared to show off his manly, manly biceps. And of course there’s Dawon. It’s fascinating to compare the members with the more revealing outfits. Like they all have their midsections uncovered but to be more feminine it’s only just a crop top and to be more masculine you open the shirt up completely. It makes sense. Also I’ve been obsessed with Jaeyoon and I can’t exactly pinpoint why he stood out so much especially when Taeyang is RIGHT THERE (though I don’t really think Taeyang got a solo scene but rather was center on the group dances which kind of dilutes his parts). Like his outfit is pretty plain but I love the cutout and the fact that he has long sleeves but they aren’t mesh. It’s simple but effective. I kept thinking this was the Hetero man’s Move especially during Youngbin and Dawson’s parts.

ok this took a really long time because honestly i changed what i was writing about like four times in the middle of the process and i changed my mind like four times because this is a very complicated topic and i could not settle on what the best way to come at it was. tbh i dont think i did the best job even though this is over a thousand words but i have no clue how to make this any more coherent without re-reading all of my flatmate and i's gender theory books and that's just way too much. but here we go.

EDIT: here is hanya’s post about the stage for reference!

where i'm at right now is that i think we are overlaying taemin’s current gender antics with what the actual move was. move has transformed along with taemin, and as such we look back at it with the understanding of what it becomes, but if we take a moment to forget that context, well... let me show you. here’s the 171019 comeback stage. and the 171027. and the 171029. now, here’s the 190223 stage from sketchbook. and from almost a year later, at the 2019 mbc music festival. and now here’s it from a month ago on the tiktok stage. it’s changed a significant amount not only in how he performs it, but in how the costumes and his body affect what it looks like. the cutoff muscle shirt of october 2017 absolutely has a different connotation than the lace back and velvet princess glove and the diamonds of december 2019.

i still do believe that sf9’s cover is missing a huge dimension because it comes from a fundamental non-understanding of what people who present even the slightest bit outside of the gender binary go through, i don’t think they were wrong in interpreting it as ‘man doing non-aggressive but seductive dance moves’ because on the surface, that’s what it is. taemin has actually spent a significant portion of his solo career doing what you described as traditionally 'masculine' dressing; he did famously rip his shirt off for the first non-music show performance of danger, after all. what we associate as 'taemin sensuality' is relatively new for him, it's more prominently a post-want mannerism because pre-move (and for a lot of move itself) he was very focussed on being perceived as masculine.

if we look at sf9's costumes individually, the breakdown looks like this:

chani - skinny trouser, chiffon shirt, and a cropped wrap suit jacket with a tie back

dawon - straight leg trouser, open silk shirt

jaeyoon - asymmetric open shoulder mock turtleneck, wide leg trouser

taeyang - wide leg trouser, faux leather open shoulder crop top

inseong - silk/silk blend shirt, cropped asymmetric suit jacket with a crossover back, tailored trouser

hwiyoung - sleeveless mock neck faux leather vest, straight leg cargo pant

youngbin - mock neck asymmetric crop top with a mesh underlayer, wide leg trouser

zuho - skinny trouser, mock neck crop top, cropped suit jacket with a pointed front

taemin has worn most of these looks. cropped wrap jacket? ngda beyond live velvet suit. open silk shirt? the move album cover. asymmetric shoulder cutout? several want performances. the only exception is that he doesn’t often wear non-skinny trousers, but even then he did for his beauty and the beast moment with the jinro frog. and sleeveless was the whole costume concept for move in the first place. even youngbin’s look is very similar to this outfit from the offsick concert series. but silhouette is only one factor of a complete costume design - you have to take into account the performer’s body, and how that silhouette is perceived on that body. it’s interesting that you specify that hwiyoung’s biceps are ‘manly’ and grouped him in with the more ‘masculine’ of the sf9 members; as i showed at the beginning of this, taemin was at his most physically muscular for move promotions. hwiyoung has just as pretty a face as taemin, but we perceive him differently in this outfit because his body is categorized as more masculine because his muscles are bigger. and this is fundamentally a gender essentialist argument because bigger muscles are not actually ‘more masculine,’ muscles don’t have gender they’re just how humans move around. it’s just our societally impressed gender binary that makes us think that.

another costume point i want to make is how you describe chani and inseong as being completely covered so ‘neither one direction or the other,’ which i would like to break down a bit. for starters, jaeyoon is also essentially fully covered, but you perceived him as being one of the more androgynous ones over chani or inseong. why? because his silhouette was more form-fitted? because there was an uncommon area of skin showing? chani has a tightly fit silhouette as well, and you can see a fair amount of his skin because his shirt is chiffon. why is a suit neutral but something cut to follow the contour of a body not? the fact of the matter is, the suit is the most symbolically gendered garment in the world; it is loaded with western colonial and patriarchal implications. we just view it as 'neutral' because we’ve been normalized to see it as neutral. now neither of the suits chani or inseong are wearing are traditionally cut, and chani’s especially is quite subversive in its construction, but taemin is no stranger to using the implications of a suit for move, here’s the stage from 171105. grey double breasted pinstripe suits were the most popular style for businessmen in the postwar west, and still maintain a prominent indicator of class and power to this day.

you are correct in pointing out that the movements and mannerisms of the members don’t all match the same level, but i want to specifically talk about the intro moment with chani, because you mention him as trying to be more masculine, which i very much disagree with. chani actually does the best at retaining the body neutrality of the original choreo because the original choreo as a stand alone isn’t that seductive or ‘feminine.’ yea he doesn’t have the attitude down pat but the guy’s 20 and is clearly not as comfortable with being this kind of sexy. the reason why you’re perceiving him to be more ‘masculine’ in his movements is because the backup dancers are frankly, being pretty aggressively sexual in a feminine coded way around him. of course he’s gonna look out of place! part of what gives move its uniqueness is that the backup dancers are doing the exact same choreo as taemin, at the exact same intensity. not an altered version where they slut drop behind him.

like i said at the very beginning, i think taemin’s been tipped into the ‘feminine’ category under false assumptions, so it’s doing a bit of skewing of the responses to this stage. if i were to make a very reductivist diagram, i think a lot of responses have been (taemin) <- neutral -> masculine, with the implication that taemin is the feminine analogue, but in reality what taemin is and is aiming for is feminine -> (taemin) <- masculine. because we have been socialized to see things in such an aggressive binary, it can be very difficult to pick out what a true neutral is.

#clothing bodies and mannerisms are all genderless and gendered at the same time #it is the context that makes them gendered and you have to deconstruct and understand that context in order to get closer to neutral #personally i think most of taemin's solo career has been more 'deconstructing masculinity' than aiming at neutral #but ngda and advice have been much more pointed in their use of 'femininity' and get him much closer to that neutral #taemin very specifically uses costume mannerism and body as subversive tools against his perceived gender #and sf9 did not use them in the same way #the mannerisms are the main culprit but also those are the hardest to divorce from gender #and you dont really know how to unless you sit outside the binary #ctrl f how many times i fucking use the word gender in this response but dont tell me i dont wanna know #god this is so barebones and unclear theres so many things i didnt cover #i am all over the MAP with this one #i hate writing analysis about gender because it can be highly subjective #but also it relies on systems that need to be dismantled and analysed FIRST before you can even get to the fun stuff about clothes #ok im done with this if people have questions lemme know but i cant promise my explanation will be any better because my pea brain is mush #kingdom #sf9 #taemin meta #text #kingdom asks

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thebirdandhersong · 3 years

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Fairy tale retellings! because I couldn’t help myself (under the cut because I got carried away and remembered my fairy tale retelling phase from middle school........ oh boy)

Cinderella

Cinderella (2015 Disney live action): beautiful beautiful BEAUTIFUL (the music! the script!! the Hope! the costumes! the dress! the gentleness at its heart! the overall design and the colours!) (I still believe it’s the best live action re-adaptation they’ve come up with so far) (then again they DID have one of the Rogue One writers and Kenneth Branagh--both of whom understand story AND fairy tales--on the team, and possibly the best combination of actors and costume designers)

Cinderella (Disney animated movie): like a dream. Can’t remember it that well because I haven’t watched it in over ten years, but I remember that I loved it

Cinderella, the Rodgers & Hammerstein musical featuring Laura Osnes and Santino Fontana: Laura’s Cinderella is so lively and hopeful and bright and affectionate and I Love Her!!! The script is also surprisingly funny, and the little changes they made (like the fairy godmother being an old beggar woman in the village, the subplot with her stepsister, the scene at the ball where she suggests that they should all be kind to one another, the fact that the prince is called His Royal Highness Christopher Rupert Windemere Vladimir Karl Alexander Francois Reginald Lancelot Herman (HERMAN!) Gregory James....... iconic) added rather than detracted from the themes they chose to emphasize

A Cinderella Story: possibly one of my favourite films. I loved the fact that they knew each other before the ‘ball’. Loved the way the fairy tale was ‘translated’ into the 2000s. The friendship was strong with this one. I had the best time watching this movie. (Dress-wise, Hilary Duff’s dress is my least favourite, but that’s a minor quibble, and is also due to the fact that it has Lily and Laura’s gorgeous fluffy ballgowns to contend with, and that’s not fair competition)

Persuasion, by Jane Austen: does it count?? The way I see it, Persuasion is like Cinderella gone wrong (we discussed this in class, and my prof called Lady Russell a fairy godmother who means well but fails her protege before the story even begins. We talked about Anne’s ‘Cinderella’/makeover moment taking place over a longer period of time, about the ‘evil’ stepsisters, etc. etc. I’m not entirely sure I agree with every single comparison he made, but he made some Very interesting points).... at least the first time :)

Cinder, by Marissa Meyer. Oh, the images!!!!! Marissa Meyer is WONDERFUL at them. You wouldn’t think they’d translate well into a futuristic sci-fi (almost steampunk) world, but she did it SO brilliantly (the slipper! the ‘dress’! the whole family situation!)

Rapunzel

Tangled (Disney animated movie): an absolute joy. Rapunzel is an Ariel-like character who has hopes and dreams of her own, and I love how warm and vivacious and endearingly transparent she is. The dance scene is so, so lovely. (I stand by my opinion that very few little went right with Disney’s fairy tale retellings after Tangled.)

Cress, by Marissa Meyer: once again. Images. I can’t believe she managed to pull Rapunzel-in-space off so well. (Plus she’s a hacker, and such a sweetheart!!)

Beauty and the Beast

Beauty and the Beast (Disney animated movie): Amazing. Gorgeous. Brilliant. The buildings and the music and Belle (Belle, my darling!!) and the darker, more Gothic feel to the art and the design...... Yes

Beauty, by Robin McKinley: knocked it right out of the ball park, right through the atmosphere, right into outer space... The language is so lush and atmospheric, and even though I knew roughly what was going to happen, I loved every moment of it. She puts a special emphasis on family and on human connection and I Loved that so much.

Rose Daughter, by Robin McKinley: also gorgeous!!!!! Beauty is still my favourite of the two, but this one was also a gem. (Again: the emphasis on family and sisterhood!!!)

Beauty and the Beast (the Broadway musical): Susan Egan’s voice is SO lovely. And Home deserved more than just an instrumental reference in the 2017 version.

The Twelve Dancing Princesses

Princess of the Midnight Ball, by Jessica Day George: the Best. The sisters are easier to distinguish, the changes/things she added (the war, the queen’s past, etc.) make the story even more interesting, and Galen is fantastic (courteous, kind, brave, AND likes to knit?? NICE)

The Barbie movie: I loved it when I was a little girl (it is also Muffin-approved!)

The Princess and the Pea

@fictionadventurer‘s Wodehousian one :) which is an absolute delight. Every once in a while I remember it and then can’t stop smiling

The Goose Girl

The Goose Girl, by Shannon Hale: the Best. And by the Best, I mean the absolute Best. Her writing is so beautiful and her characters are so real and distinctive. The worldbuilding is fascinating. It’s so simple and so beautiful, and is near-perfect as a retelling and as a novel. The rest of the Bayern series is also wonderful!!

The Little Mermaid

The Little Mermaid (Disney movie): can’t remember it very well, except for the chef who wanted to cook Sebastian and also Ariel’s very cool sisters.... the music and Ariel’s character are lovely :)

The Little Android, by Marissa Meyer: genius. The first time I read it, I cried furiously. What does it mean to be human?? Marissa Meyer loves to talk about this in her other books (through malfunctioning robots, androids, werewolves, etc.). And the conclusion she comes to is always the same (and always done so beautifully): it’s about love and sacrifice (and tbh even though she’s talking about this through robots and werewolves, she’s got a point!!! When you act with love and self-sacrifice, you reflect the character of the Maker and His love and self-sacrifice, which is what makes us in that moment the most human--or at least human in the sense that that’s what we were made to be and to do towards our neighbours and enemies)

Ponyo (Studio Ghibli movie): this counts, doesn’t it?? A film that is an absolute joy through and through. It doesn’t completely stick to the original fairy tale but it also talks about compassion, kindness, and love as a choice

The Princess and the Frog

The Princess and the Frog (Disney animated movie): can’t remember it very well, but Anika Noni Rose has a fantastic voice, and I loved Tiana’s practicality, optimism, and kindness

The Prince of the Pond, by Donna Jo Napoli: can’t remember it either (read it in third grade) but basically it’s about how the prince turns into a frog and starts a family with another frog (the story is told from her perspective). I do remember that the ending made me so sad, though

Sleeping Beauty

Sleeping Beauty (Disney movie): can’t remember it at all either, except for: 1) Once Upon a Dream (a brilliant song) and 2) forget pink or blue. I liked her grey dress the most

Spindle’s End, by Robin McKinley: the story was told in such an interesting way (the animals! the way she wrote about love and protecting the people you love and self-sacrifice in familial and platonic relationships!) with Robin McKinley’s beautiful style

East of the Sun, West of the Moon

East, by Edith Pattou: I was obsessed with this book in elementary school. Obsessed. I kept rereading it over and over again because I just loved it so much. It’s been a few years since I’ve read it, but I can remember certain scenes (Rose entering the ballroom for the first time, the white bear’s hulking figure in the doorway, the architecture of the hall where she washes the shirt, her fingers running over the wax, the reunion scene) so vividly as if it had been a movie instead of a book, or if I’d actually been there, experiencing what Rose was experiencing

Orpheus and Eurydice (which kind of counts)

Hadestown (the Broadway musical, the original cast, AND Anais Mitchell’s original concept album): I’ve talked about it so much I probably shouldn’t even start slkfjsdl;kfjlk; I just wanted an excuse to mention it again

Tam Lin

Fire and Hemlock, by Diana Wynne Jones: I loved it when I first read it but I was so confused and so fascinated by it.

The Snow Queen

Frozen (Disney animated movie): no (insert heart emoji)

And contemporary(?) books that are considered modern classics, if not modern fairy tales (depends on how you look at it, really):

Peter Pan

Peter Pan (Disney animated movie): a childhood favourite!!!

Peter and the Starcatchers, by Dave Barry: the whole series is so much fun (and they’re among some of the funniest books I’ve read). This one serves as a sort of prequel to Peter Pan, but it’s safer to say that Dave Barry reimagined the whole story.

Peter and the Starcatcher (Broadway play adaptation of the book, which is a reimagining of the original Peter Pan..... yeah): the source material is incredibly funny, so naturally the play adaptation makes you laugh until your sides feel ready to split (I mean!! You have Christian Borle as Black Stache, Adam Chanler Berat as Peter, Celia Keenan-Bolger as Molly..... they’re all brilliant) The script, the way the cast makes use of the set and props, the perfect comic delivery....... love it

Finding Neverland, a musical adaptation of the movie (the A.R.T. production with Jeremy Jordan as James Barrie): the music is so good, and the way they write about the value of looking at the world through the eyes of a child?? of seeing the beauty in everything?? of hope and imagination and wonder?? If it weren’t for the way it handles adultery (even emotionally cheating!) and divorce :( but Laura Michelle Kelly is absolutely enchanting, and the script is also incredibly funny and heartwarming

Tiger Lily, by Jodi Lynn Anderson: a twisted fairy tale... it was quite disturbing at times, but it was also beautiful and heartbreaking. It’s a darker take on the story, which I tend not to like (at all), but the way it explored Tiger Lily and Peter was quite interestng

The Wizard of Oz

WIcked, the Stephen Schwartz musical--I haven’t read the book: as far as retellings-about-the-villain-of-the-original-story goes this one is my favourite. It is another twisted fairy tale, though, and there’s a constant undercurrent of doom and dread, even in the motifs Stephen Schwartz uses... the ending is not completely happy, but the music is FANTASTIC (Mr. Schwartz also did The Hunchback of Notre Dame and Prince of Egypt!!)

Alice in Wonderland

Alice in Wonderland (Disney movie): another childhood favourite... I also haven��t seen this one in over ten years, but I can still remember specific scenes very clearly in my head

Alice by Heart: a musical about a girl called Alice Spencer whose coping mechanism (quite literally) is Alice in Wonderland. She knows it by heart (again. Literally) and she dives into the world as a form of escapism (LITERALLY. There’s even a song at the end where the characters acknowledge how unhealthy this is). There’s a lot about growing up, losing a loved one, learning to let go... about self-deception and grief and the control one has over one’s life (unfortunately it IS subtly antagonistic towards Christianity at times)..... i do wish that writers didn’t have to treat sexual maturity as the most prominent/interesting part of coming-of-age stories, though. The characters, the set and lighting and costume design (BRILLIANT, by the way!!!!)... all wonderful. But the strangely sexual references can be a bit uncomfortable. (Really!! You can tell a coming-of-age story WITHOUT that stuff, you know!!!!!)

That Disney Movie directed by Tim Burton: wouldn’t recommend. Alice doesn’t need to be a warrior. (At ALL.)

Would also like to mention: Princess Tutu :)

#i am sorry but i am very emphatically not a frozen fan #especially since we read snow queen at jellicoe lodge?? it's such a beautiful story #and the IMAGES #but hollywood is more into self-actualisation/self-discovery/self-acceptance/self-centric stories these days #i guess they just didn't want to tell a story about self-sacrifice and selfless acts of love ? i don't know #anyway i get irrationally worked up about frozen sorry #the second one nearly made steam pour out of my ears #i GET they want to focus on the Self (and all the selfishness and self-importance that comes with our world's idea of self love)#but ELSA as an oldest sister HOW could you make all these decisions #fairy tales #i need to finish princess tutu sometime (sigh)#songbird again #my posts

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jazziehart · 3 years

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Taylor Swift Albums Reviews

Hello my lovely blog readers,

I want to thank those of you who stick around through all my crazy rants and long Glee posts. You guys are the real MVPs and I will always appreciate you.

Anyway onto why we're here, in the wake of Taylor rereleasing her albums I found it fitting to take a look back at her discorgaphy so far! Thanks to my good friend Aly, I decided to relisten to all of her albums which the order was randomly decided. I will be talking about the deluxe editions so enjoy!

Let's start off with the first album that was drawn first which was Red.

One of my favorite albums right off the bat with probably her best album cover. I remember how excited I was for 22, mostly because my girl Dianna Agron's name was in the liner notes. Let's dive into what I thought now about 9 years later!

Favorite Track: Begin Again Least Favorite Track: The Last Time (featuring Gary Lightbody) Bonus Track I Wish was on the main album: All of them!!! Favorite Bonus Track: The Moment I Knew Album Ranking: 6th/9

Overall I adore this album so so much. The only track I didn't care for in the least was The Last Time. I think you'll find a trend with me that my least favorite Tayor tracks tend to be her duets (the exception being Everything Has Changed which is also on this album and is the purest of all). The album has held up and even moreso I love it than the first time I listened. Crazy. Anyway onto the rankings of each song. DISCLAIMER: These are just my opinions and you can disagree with them but please be respectful.

1) Begin Again 2) The Moment I Knew 3) State of Grace (Acoustic Version) 4) I Almost Do 5) Stay Stay Stay 6) All Too Well 7) Everything Has Changed (featuring Ed Sheeran) 8) 22 9) Come Back...Be Here 10) Red 11) I Knew You Were Trouble 12) The Lucky One 13) We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together 14) Starlight 15) Girl at Home 16) Sad Beautiful Tragic 17) State of Grace 18) Holy Ground 19) Treacherous 20) The Last Time (featuring Gary Lightbody)

Honestly I adore this album so much as a whole and ranking every song was so hard. Holy Ground honestly had a lot of potiental I hated the arrangement but if I heard an acoustic version I would be sold, much like State of Grace which I wasn't huge on the original but the acoustic I'm obsessed with. Moving onto our second album which is one of Taylor's newest.

folklore! Funny enough on first listen I wasn't as into it as everyone else was but trust me, the relisten definitely helped me change my mind. I also heard the lakes for the first time which I loved. Since it's the only bonus track I'm going to say I definitely wished it had made the main album over some of the other songs on it. Let's dive into my thoughts and rankings.

Favorite Track: mad woman Least Favorite Track: invisible string Album Ranking: 9th/9

1) mad woman 2) the 1 3) the last great american dynasty 4) mirrorball 5) hoax 6) peace 7) seven 8) august 9) my tears richocet 10) the lakes 11) cardigan 12) betty 13) illicit affairs 14) epiphany 15) this is me trying 16) exile (featuring Bon Iver) 17) invisible string

Okay I know cardigan and betty being so low is going make people unhappy but honestly I just loved the other songs better listed above it. So many gorgeous songs and a great era for Taylor. It's not my favorite era and still falls in my lower half of her albums but I can appreciate the tracks on it more than I did before with the relisten.

Now onto Taylor's most recent album which came up next in our randomization in evermore

Unlike folklore on original listen I absolutely adored this album and had it in my top tier Taylor albums but will that opinion hold up? Let's find out.

Favorite Track: no body, no crime (featuring HAIM) Least Favorite Track: gold rush Favorite Bonus Track: it's time to go Album Ranking: 7th/9

1) no body, no crime (featuring HAIM) 2) happiness 3) champagne problems 4) willow 5) cowboy like me 6) dorothea 7) majorie 8) evermore (featuring Bon Iver) 9) closure 10) long story short 11) ‘tis the damn season 12) ivy 13) it’s time to go 14) coney island (featuring The National) 15) right where you left me 16) tolerate it 17) gold rush Okay let's talk about the relisten, it still held up but to me the one thing I didn't love about the album was the bonus tracks didn't add much to the original album so I kind of see why they were bonus tracks. I enjoyed the album none the less and I do think that most of my opinions are somewhat popular. I only see people being mad about 'tis the damn season being so low but honestly 1-11, I loved all the tracks so.

Up next is the rerelease that started it all, Fearless!

Now let's see after 13 years (hey Taylor's lucky number) if my opinion of this iconic album changed. Back in the day I was so obsessed with this album so let's see how I feel now!

Favorite Track: You're Not Sorry Least Favorite Track: The Way I Loved You Bonus Tracks I Wish was on the main album: Forever and Always (Piano Verison) and Come in with the Rain Favorite Bonus Track: Forever and Always (Piano Version) Album Ranking: 4th/9

1) You’re Not Sorry 2) White Horse 3) Love Story 4) You Belong with Me 5) Change 6) Forever and Always (Piano Version) 7) Fifteen 8) Hey Stephen 9) Come in with the Rain 10) Jump Then Fall 11) Fearless 12) Forever and Always 13) The Best Day 14) The Other Side of the Door 15) Breathe (featuring Colbie Cailaitt) 16) Untouchable 17) SuperStar 18) Tell Me Why 19) The Way I Loved You

I still remember when this album was first coming out how jazzed and excited I was for it. It was highly anticipated for me being that I had fallen in love with Taylor from her debut album and listening back it still holds up as one of my favorite albums. The only two tracks I wasn't into back then and still am not into are Tell Me Why and The Way I Loved You. Other than those two tracks the entire album is incredible to listen to. I'm so excited to hear Taylor's versions of all these songs and who knows maybe my mind will change on some of them.

Moving onto the next album to be randomly selected which is almost every Swiftie's favorite 1989.

Funny enough, originally this album isn't in my top favorites so who knows if my opinion will change on a relisten. Let's find out!

Favorite Track: Clean Least Favorite Track: I Wish You Would Bonus Tracks I Wish was on the main album: All of them?! Come on Taylor what's up with 1989 and Red having like some of their best tracks as bonus tracks. I'm mad haha. Favorite Bonus Track: Wonderland (gee I wonder why) Album Ranking: 5th/9

1) Clean 2) Wonderland 3) Wildest Dreams 4) This Love 5) You are in Love 6) Welcome to New York 7) Shake It Off 8) Blank Space 9) Bad Blood 10) Style 11) How You Get the Girl 12) Out of the Woods 13) New Romantics 14) I Know Places 15) All You Had to Do was Stay 16) I Wish You Would

Okay listening back. I now get the hype behind it. Listening to it with bonus tracks honestly makes all the difference. No joke. It's a much better album with the bonus tracks added. Honestly if Wonderland and You are in Love were on the main album it would've been top tier to me. Thank God for the deluxe version but team Taylor what is up with you hiding some of her best tracks and only releasing them on the bonus tracks? I'm mad. Also speaking on Wonderland, I adore the song even without the rumours of it being about my favorite celebrity Dianna Agron. Had the bonus tracks been on the main album it would higher but as a whole I love the album.

And now for our next album, which is reputation!

This is probably Taylor's most controversial albums, some love it and some hate it. I actually am somewhere in the middle. I love some of the tracks while others I could've done without. Let's see where it goes for me listening back.

Favorite Song: New Year's Day Least Favorite: Dancing with Our Hands Tied Album Ranking: 8th/9

1) New Year's Day 2) Gorgeous 3) Don’t Blame Me 4) This is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things 5) I Did Something Bad 6) Dress 7) Delicate 8) Call It What You Want To 9) ...Ready for It? 10) Look What You Made Me Do 11) King of my Heart 12) Getaway Car 13) So It Goes... 14) End Game (featuring Ed Sheeran and Future) 15) Dancing with Our Hands Tied

Okay I feel like my choices here are controversal especially Getaway Car being pretty low on the album. Honestly I liked the song just wasn't into the hype that everyone else said about it, sorry you guys. Also Dancing with Our Hands Tied on the ALBUM is my least favorie song. I absolutely adored Taylor's acoustic version that was in the rep Tour. Had she released that on the album it would be after Look What You Made Me Do. The arrangement on the album I just didn't care for and I prefer acoustic Taylor which I think a lot of you gather from my top picks.

Anyway moving onto to our next album that was randomized which is...Taylor Swift!

Ah yes the album that started it all. 15 years ago I discovered Taylor Swift via this album thanks to CMT. I was a huge country music stan back in the day who knew how this one album would lead to a career I've been following for 15 years. Now how does this album hold up? Let's find out!

Favorite Song: Should've Said No Least Favorite Song: A Perfectly Good Heart Bonus Tracks I Wish was on the main album: Invisible and I'm Only Me When I'm with You Favorite Bonus Track: Invisible Album Ranking: 3rd/9

1) Should’ve Said No 2) Invisible 3) Cold as You 4) Picture to Burn 5) Our Song 6) The Outside 7) A Place in This World 8) Teardrops on My Guitar 9) Stay Beautiful 10) Tim McGraw 11) I’m Only Me When I’m with You 12) Mary’s Song (Oh My My My) 13) Tied Together with a Smile 14) A Perfectly Good Heart

This album still holds up 15 years later and made me so nostalgic. This had to be the hardest album for songs to rank thus far. Taylor hit it out of the park on her very first album crazy. She set the bar very high, funny enough it's the first album that a bonus track is my least favorite track but the entire album is a great listen, especially if you love country. It's very different from anything else Taylor did but that's what's so charming about it.

And now onto our second to last album which is another one of my favorites and the only album Taylor wrote fully on her own, Speak Now.

The album cover is up there with Red as my favorite and I'm excited to listen back to this album. I remember how much I enjoyed it when it was first released. Excited to see what I think 11 years later. Let's find out.

Favorite Track: Haunted (Acoustic Version) Least Favorite Track: Last Kiss Bonus Tracks I Wish was on the main album: All of them. Dang it Taylor they deserved to be on the main album. Favorite Bonus Track: Haunted (Acoustic Version) Album Ranking: 2nd/9

1) Haunted (Acoustic Version) 2) Long Live 3) Haunted 4) Better Than Revenge 5) Back to December (Acoustic Version) 6) Mine 7) Back to December 8) Mean 9) If This Was a Movie 10) Innocent 11) Dear John 12) Speak Now 13) Ours 14) Never Grow Up 15) The Story of Us 16) Superman 17) Enchanted 18) Sparks Fly 19) Last Kiss

One of Taylor's absolute best albms and it was incredibly hard to rank these songs. I know people are going to be mad about Enchanted being low but I just didn't love it as much as the other tracks on the album, this after all is one of the best albums she ever released so it's incredibly hard to make the call.

Moving onto our final album which I've called my absolute favorite, Lover.

It's only been an year since its release but will it hold up as my favorite album? Let's find out!

Favorite Track: Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince Least Favorite Track: It’s Nice to Have a Friend Album Ranking: 1st/9

1) Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince 2) Paper Rings 3) Lover 4) Soon You’ll Get Better (featuring The Chicks) 5) You Need to Calm Down 6) The Archer 7) The Man 8) Daylight 9) Afterglow 10) I Think He Knows 11) False God 12) Death by a Thousand Cuts 13) Cruel Summer 14) Cornelia Street 15) I Forgot That You Existed 16) ME! (featuring Brendan Urie from Panic! at the Disco) 17) London Boy 18) It’s Nice to Have a Friend

Yep it held up. This album is my favorite thing Taylor ever released. It was a tough call because I loved all of her top albums so much. Miss Americana still is my favorite performance which is no surprise, I was obsessed when this song came out 2 years ago. It's Nice to Have a Friend is the weakest track on the album but by no means is it a bad track. The entire album is a great listen all the way through, the only song that's hard to listen to especially if you have a sick parent "Soon You'll Get Better" I literally bawled after I finished it. So if you don't want an emotional song that might make you sad, it's best to skip it even though it's one of favorite tracks.

And that does it for us here. Hope you enjoyed my album reviews! Just to recap here's the rankings of all of Taylor's Albums:

1) Lover 2) Speak Now 3) Taylor Swift 4) Fearless 5) 1989 6) Red 7) evermore 8) reputation 9) folklore

Excited to see what's to come with the rerelease of Fearless and to hear the songs released from the vault. I've heard a few of her unreleased songs and honestly there are quite a few that I'm hoping are released. Thanks for enjoying us on this journey as always be kind and always spread love <3

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doomednarrative · 3 years

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I’m doing this for fun simply because I'm rewatching them all so,

Here's my personal ranking for Every Gorillaz Music video, based both on song and the video itself:

(This is going to be a long post)

PHASE ONE:

Tomorrow Comes Today: 7/10. I love this song and the video fits its vibe, but its still pretty simplistic and not a whole lot of actual animation and no story, so it gets points off for that.

Clint Eastwood: 10/10. I love this one honestly. Its still so charming after all this time and showcases the band well for their early days. Love the more moody tone of it, and I always love seeing the band actually play instruments in their videos too. Bonus points for Murdoc's laugh opening this one because I love that.

Rock The House: 9/10. Pure fun. I don't have a lot of commentary for it, I just think its fun and I love the song itself too. One point off for Murdoc thrusting his hips too many times for my eyes tho.

19-2000: 10/10. This one was the first Gorillaz video that I saw and it really is just a nice non plot connected video. The 3D animation still manages to hold up because of its mix with 2D animation in my opinion and I enjoy it.

Rockit: 5/10. I like the song but the video is kinda meh.

PHASE ONE MV'S OVERALL: Overall I like phase one and I miss Del. Bring him back.

PHASE TWO:

Dirty Harry: 8/10. 2D is just vibing so hard in this video and I'm living for it. That’s all that matters. (Side note but I love the version of this video they did for the BRIT's as well.)

DARE: 10/10. Noodles time to shine, a perfect song, what more could you ask for?? (Also love the bit with Murdoc at the end of course.)

Feel Good Inc: 10/10. This one is obvious if you know me at all. Murdoc playing his bass is what sells this one for me cause I enjoy the animation. The songs amazing and one I find comforting to listen to, and the mood of the video fits it perfectly. Theres some really fun shots with lighting while 2D is standing at the window too in the tower in here that I've always liked.

El Mañana: 6/10. I love this song but it makes me sad and so does the video.

PHASE TWO MV'S OVERALL: Phase One is iconic for its art style and for being The Beginning, but Phase Two is my favorite of the two for its art. I love how these videos are animated, and even if Demon Dayz is my least favorite album, the songs in these videos are all very good. Pretty solid as a whole all things considered.

PHASE THREE:

Stylo: 10/10 LISTEN, I KNOW SOME PEOPLE HATE THE CGI, BUT I LOVE IT. It’s so expressive, this song is one of my absolute faves, I’m sorry to be such a Murdoc liker but hes so much fun in this video and so expressive and it starts the story off for Plastic Beach. I love it so much.

On Melancholy Hill: 7/10. It’s not a bad video, and I love the song a lot, but...not a lot actually happens in the video aside from the bits with Noodle. Bonus points however go to just how seamlessly it puts 2D and 3D animation together, and for how cute 2D looks this whole video.

Rhinestone Eyes: 9/10. WOULD BE A 10/10 IF WE’D GOTTEN OFFICIAL ANIMATION FOR IT ;-; (The fan animated video for it tho is Very very good and i applaud that whole team.) Amazing song, this video has the most story packed into it so far from all the other videos and it’s memorable from its storyboards for that alone.

Doncamatic: 10/10 Listen...Listen I know its a one off and it doesn't really have anything in it but I’m obsessed because its one of my favorite Gorillaz songs tbh and I love Daley’s outfit in it so it gets a full pass from it.

PHASE THREE MV’S OVERALL: I love every video this phase tbh, none of them are bad. All of them are fun,and even if Melancholy Hill is a little slow, it’s still enjoyable. I love this phase because they all connect and I know I’m not the only one who feels that way either.

PHASE FOUR:

Hallelujah Money: 7/10. It’s not at all bad, but I’m as not fond of this song, and the video itself is much too trippy for me. Still has its own merits tho that I won’t knock it for even if it’s not my personal taste.

Saturn Barz: 10/10. Everything about this video is amazing. Character designs and as a comeback for the bands animated counterparts, it was perfect. I loved hearing them actually speak again too it made the whole thing so fun. The song is fuckin awesome and it fits the vibe of the whole video. Bonus points for the more lineless animation style they gave everyone in this video, it was a really neat change from past phases. My one complaint is again stop making me see so much naked Murdoc, I may like him but not like that.

Sleeping Powder: 6/10. I am so split when it comes to the mo cap models. This songs good but the video is again too trippy for me.

Strobalite: 9/10. Would have been 10/10 if Russel got to dance with 2D and Noodle, but other than that its pretty damn good. The mo cap looks way less awkward in here, particularly Murdoc and Russel. Also hilarious that Murdoc made a deal with the devil, and the guy who played him is actually his voice actor irl. This songs too much fun to vibe to as well.

PHASE FOUR MV’S OVERALL: Not much for story, but makes up for it in updated art and great music again. Solid overall yet again. I like it.

PHASE FIVE:

Humility: 20/10. Literally every single person I know who’s seen this video loved it. The animation is Beautiful, the song is so fuckin catchy, Jack Black is in it! What more do you want!! (The only thing I could have asked for was to see more of Ace but that’s its only flaw.)

Tranz: 9/10. I love this song so much but this video is Again just a little too trippy for me. However, we get to see Ace just jamming out in this video and I’ll take the trippiness just for that.

PHASE FIVE MV’S OVERALL: I was surprised there wasn't at least one more video for this phase honestly? I feel like Kansas or Souk Eye would have made for great videos for this phase. That aside tho, both the videos it does have are a lot of fun. My literal only complaint is that I wanted to see more of Ace. Bring him back in the future.

PHASE SIX:

Momentary Bliss: 8/10. This songs fine, but what sells it for me is the video is more slice of life/a day in the life of the studio. I’m always a fan of those moments. Bonus points goes to Murdoc trying to fuckin poison Jamie and it backfiring on him.

Désolé: 10/10: ooooh this song is so beautiful...I love it so much. 2D Noodle and Russel got to have such a fun time in this video and they deserve it. And poor Murdoc, having his little sad times by his asshole self. I love him but I think he deserved it. The others needed a good break from the bullshit and I’m glad they got it.

Aries: 6/10. Video itself is kinda boring, but the song is nice. Murdoc deserved to be left behind in Désolé after what he tried to pull here.

Friday the 13th: 3/10. I don’t care for this video and I really don’t care for the song. Not much else to say.

PAC-MAN: 6/10. Video’s fine, I like some of the little details in it, but it’s nothing special. The song itself is nice tho, super calming, I like it.

Strange Timez: 20/20 MY GOD I LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH...VISUALS ARE SO FUN, I LOVE ROBERT SMITH SO I LOVE HIM IN HERE, ITS JUST A GOOD TIME ALL AROUND!

The Pink Phantom: 5/10 I just don’t really care for this song?? I like Elton John but I couldn’t get myself to like this one no matter how many times I’ve listened. 2D got to be happy in this video tho so I’ll give it a pass.

The Valley of the Pagans: 6/10. This song fuckin slaps but the video feels like a boring redo of 19-2000 except for it’s ending. It gets points for giving everyone Plastic Beach feelings at the end and hyping up the video after it.

The Lost Chord: 20/20. Y’all knew this was coming. This was something I’d BEEN hoping for story wise and I finally got it. Was it maybe a little rushed? Yes. But GOD it was such a nice thing to see them say “hey we’ve wrapped up this part of the story for good and want everyone to move on from it, so we’ve given it a properly acknowledged final send off.” And tangibly seeing everyone's emotions laid out about the island and their times there was very nice. And I know Jamie and Damon have stated Murdoc is irredeemable, blah blah yes I know hes an asshole still, but I WILL think about Murdoc in this video and how he seemed actually regretful and what that means to me and the fact that it was no one else but 2D himself being the one to reach out to Murdoc in the end to save him until my dying breath, thank you very much. And this song?? Fuckin beautiful, it had those Plastic Beach vibes again and felt good for it’s send off song, I love it.

PHASE SIX MV’S OVERALL: I may be a little split on some of them and on Song Machine as a whole, but tbh I love the phase six art style so much and most times the videos were pretty good. Bringing back PB in the end was something I always wanted too so it really does get bonus points from me for that. I’m 50/50 on them overall. The great ones are great, and the meh ones are just kinda boring, so it evens out in the end.

STAND ALONE VIDEOS MENTION:

Do Ya Thing: 10/10. I’ve said before I love the 3D animation and the slice of life stuff, so this one’s obviously a favorite, and you really cant go wrong with an Andre 3000 feature either.

Superfast Jellyfish: 3/10. This song is kinda fun but I don’t give a single shit about the music video.

Garage Palace: 8/10. Very fun pixel visuals for a change along with a killer song, super enjoyable.

So what’s my final verdict on Gorillaz and their long music video history?

Honestly for a group thats been going as long as they have, I dont think they have too many misses in their catalog. The ones that aren’t as fun are just kinda there, but the videos that really stand out stand out far above the ones that don’t hit the mark as well and in the end it all feels like a good balance. No band has a perfect video every time, but the ones that Gorillaz did well they did amazing on and I enjoy it immensely when that happens.

Sidenotes after watching all of those:

For the love of god please put Russel in the videos more, please, he deserves it and I would love to see him more.

On that note, BRING DEL BACK WITH HIM TOO!!

And speaking of characters to bring back, I want Ace to come back and join Murdoc sometimes, even if its only once or twice more, I need to see them interact PLEASE.

Last note but Jamie, please, I’m begging, show less of mostly naked or fully naked of Murdoc in future videos, we’ve had our fill by now.

#can you tell im hyperfixating again??? anyways #kief rambles about gorillaz #gorillaz #this was fun but good lord

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oneweekoneband · 3 years

Text

her Nebraska (1982)

In July I flew to Massachusetts with a plague on, and I felt that it was wrong, but my mother had begged and I’d been out of work for months. Mornings there I ran in long, uneven ovals on the same roads I’d memorized in high school. There’s no sidewalks, but the few feet of dirt between the craggy pavement and the open mouths of the fields serve all right for a single body in motion. When a truck comes up close from behind, the ground shakes, and I step away bouncingly from the street toward thigh-high yellow weeds and grass, and keep going. I was slowly picking my way back in that dirt, sweat-slick from only a plodding couple of miles in peak summer heat, and sucking the wet cotton of my mask in between my teeth on every inhale, when Taylor Swift announced she was releasing a surprise album produced by the guy from The National. Not the guy from The National, like, the voice, but the guy from The National whose photo was circulated on Twitter earlier this year as some kind of antifa super soldier, which isn’t the case, but would’ve been rad. First, I stopped dead to send some outraged, misspelled text messages, and then I ran home faster than I’d moved in years.

Tall, blonde, patrician pop star Taylor Swift is to me something like a cross-between a wife and a boogeyman. Bound we’ve been since we were really children. Time and its changes haven’t rid me of her, and what’s worse is I have never quite been able to wish they would, though I claim as much all the time. Countless hours of my one wild and precious life have been spent on endlessly analyzing the minutiae of Taylor Swift’s music, the mind that made it, the real world events which influenced it. And though all the while I have known she is only a person, and that people, while each strange and lovely in their own ways, are, in the end, mostly dull, needful in just the regular manner, the fantasy is better, the sick dream of a megalomaniac songstress, curious, thrilling, probably evil, and I choose that. I don’t know Taylor Alison Swift, born to this world in, I presume, the usual way. But my Taylor Swift? I’m a renowned expert. I’ve always eaten up stories—movies, music, celebrity news, the one my grandfather tells about falling off his bike once in Ireland as a boy and his face “cracking open like an egg”—like a starved dog. I’m obsessive about my interests, but not inclined to intense fandom, and certainly not fandom in the mode of the stan. For one, I’m too self-absorbed. But caring intensely for a famous person is falling in love with a ghost, and that’s all right—I mean, what the hell? We’re here together just dying... Let’s enjoy—but is an affair best undertaken with the knowledge that everyone alive has their own complex interiority, as unruly as your own, and that you, a stranger, are not in any real way connected to the lawless, blurry middle of that celebrity, and will never be. It’s freeing and fun to know this. I mean, these people are basically in your employ. Glamorous dollhouse dwellers. Acknowledging that uncrossable distance allows for a different, healthier closeness of pure imagination. My feelings, then, can comfortably be at once both fiercely intense and entirely silly. I am a foremost scholar in the art of the Taylor Swift who exists in my head. The real person raised in Pennsylvania I don’t know at all. I have some conjectures on the matter, and, as with all my conjectures, every hackneyed theory, each picky little opinion, I’m sure they’re perfect, brilliant, just absolutely right, but that’s still all they are. Taylor Swift, figure of the cultural imagination, is the Jodie Comer to my Sandra Oh in Killing Eve, annoying and pretty in frills, taunting me endlessly and holding us trapped together in a dance of most enchanting death. But the real Taylor Swift has favorite bed sheets and a social security number and a British boyfriend, none of which I have any desire to know about, and if I saw her at a restaurant I’d politely avert my eyes before, yes, dive-bombing the group text. There’s nobody on Earth I’d stand in line to speak to, but then I’ve been speaking to a certain figment of Taylor Swift for nearly half my life.

I went to a Taylor Swift concert the night before I moved into college in 2009. My father’s work friend, firefighter by day, near professional gambler by night, got comped tickets to the Fearless Tour stop taking place at the nearby casino, and he let me have them as a reward, mainly, for happening to be seventeen. Live in-person and performed acoustically, “Fifteen” made me cry. A few years after that, in the thick, sticky part of my first post-college summer, I wrote approximately twenty-three million words about her in these very pages. (”Pages”) At that point, Taylor’s most recent release was 2012’s Red, and the work I produced that long ago July about Taylor and her career, writing I was fairly pleased with at the time, feels now, besides just being extremely clearly written by a twenty-one year old, strange to me for the way it favors the sweet over the sour almost uniformly. There is a wholesome kind of ardor in that writing which maybe I’ve outgrown the ability to hold. Or maybe Taylor just proceeded to spend the next half a decade plus releasing one bad single after another, and it was taste—and trespasses against taste—and not some shift in my nature which altered the tenor of our bond. I have real love for my particular image, gleaned from public statements and published art, of smart, bizarre famous woman Taylor Swift, and I admire the bulk of her output very much. I’m just no longer so inclined to fawn. This is not to say I am here to offer a Taylor Swift hate screed. I couldn’t swing it, and, anyway, I’m not a pop feminist-for-hire circa 2010. But we’re older now. Things are different. At twenty-eight, twenty-nine this month—Taylor will, also this December, turn thirty-one—I regard Taylor Swift warily, like an ex with whom you have a tentative friendship, perpetually on the brink of falling one way or the other into hatred or delight, only to wobble back the opposite direction again at the slightest provocation, but still, despite best efforts, even, I regard her all the time.

folklore was released at midnight on July 24th 2020, but I was at a cabin in rural Vermont without Internet or cell service. I drank Bud Light seltzers with my mother while watching the eerie pandemic return of Major League Baseball, and when I got into a strange bed there I stewed, knowing there were people out in the world all over who were hearing Taylor Swift songs I never had, and that this was a fundamental wrong, a disruption in the balance of the universe. I listened to it the next morning in a Dunkin’ Donuts parking lot.

And folklore is great. That’s the terrible thing. Slightly less great, maybe, than some people have insisted, tricked, I think, by just the pronounced shift in sound. But it’s great. A little gift I asked for a thousand times and was still surprised to get, like a wife who didn’t expect her henpecked husband to ever follow through and buy the paraffin wax hand bath as-see-on-TV. For years, I’ve been halfheartedly insisting that Taylor had a great album in her. I’d say it even, perhaps especially, while she stubbornly fed me gruel. Or worse, gruel with the occasional whiff of something better. With a ripe, little raspberry dropped into the slop. The bright, villainous thrill of “Getaway Car” made me believe Taylor, my Taylor, was in there somewhere under the lacquer of sequins and synth, which, while not objectionable by default, seemed a costume, and an ill-fitting one. The lived-in world of “Cornelia Street” made those old scars sting. That gay “Delicate” video. When she did “Call It What You Want” on SNL and played guitar while wearing an ugly sweater. If the abominable “ME!”, lead single off Lover, was the stick, 1989’s “Clean” was the carrot. I was Charlie Brown, and Taylor my Lucy, yanking the football back again and again. Over drinks I still yelled that Taylor Swift’s next album would be, “her Nebraska”, referring to my favorite Bruce Springsteen record, and learned to live with that egg on my face for good. I suppose I even came to like it. There was something inherently funny in taking up, like, “blind faith in the as of yet untapped greater artistic potential of massively wealthy and popular singer Taylor Swift” as my totally inane personal cause du jour, and eventually it was a bit, a gag I performed to be obstinate and didactic, but way down somewhere awful near my kidneys I meant it the whole while. And then she did it. A pandemic befell the world and amid a sea of human suffering Taylor Swift remembered she can write. She wrote, and with a massive, crucial assist from Aaron Dessner, whose music on this record is sometimes so beautiful it actually angers me, as the last thing I needed in already perilous times was to be made to try and marry my uniquely perverse emotional responses to beloved divorced dad band The National and fucking Taylor Swift, she made an album which, if not her Nebraska, per se (I’ve come to realize that a major part of believing Taylor Swift will one day make an album I find as quietly devastating and gorgeous as Nebraska is knowing that no album will ever actually be Her Nebraska... That each will, rather, to me, be more and more evidence that it’s coming still, more proof that the limit is untouched, on and on ad infinitum, or at least until the seas take us into a place of salty peace.) is a shocking credit to all my hard-fought and deluded confidence. folklore is great. This fact has made me feel almost equally as disoriented from my understanding of the world as the time-melting COVID-19 lockdowns have, and it turned my Spotify year in review annual collective AI humiliation kink thing into a glaring indictment of my mental state, but still, I mean... It’s great.

In talking about folklore a bit this week, there are a number of specific topics I intend to cover—what a thrill it is to hear Taylor say “fuck”; Taylor’s terrifying birth chart; the astoundingly perfect bridge of “the last great american dynasty”; “because my ass is located at the back of my body”; the bit in last year’s “Lover” where deranged WASP Taylor Swift implies that to “leave the Christmas lights up til January” is some signifier of being a love-struck bohemian, when actually everyone who doesn’t employ domestic staff to take their lights down does this; how reputation is the best of the Taylor Swift records released in the latter half of the 2010s, actually, and the people who can’t see that are cowards—but intend mostly to let the muse move me where she will. Against the advice of my better angels, she—that tie-in marketing eldritch terror—always does.

#taylor swift #folklore

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jkflesh · 3 years

Photo

Interview with jesu January 2021 New Noise magazine #56

Read the interview by Antoine "Neredude" Duprez below:

The “Terminus” Bandcamp page states that the album was done between 2016 and 2020. That's a long period in your standards! Did you get some sort of writer's block with Jesu? Or was it because you were so busy with your numerous projects?

— I never get writers block, I just simply move on to the next thing if I’m not currently inspired to work on a specific project. Most my records, for many years, have been written and recorded over extended periods of time; I work when inspiration strikes, when it doesn’t I move onto the next thing; there’s never a block for me with creation generally, maybe just specific areas. i take large breaks for my music so as to afford some sort of distance, gone are the times when an album would be hammered out in a month!

''When I Was Small'' has kind of a Radiohead thing in the vocals, whereas ''Alone'' reminds me a lot of Sigur Rós. Are those bands part of your background?

— Ok, interesting observation, but no Radiohead is not an influence on this song, the biggest influences on the vocals were Liam Gallagher from Oasis, and subconsciously "White Flag" by Godflesh (which I only discovered after the album was complete). I do love some Radiohead though, as I do Sigur Rós, but neither band is a direct or conscious influence. Musically “When I was Small” was mostly influenced by trying to recreate a vibe of early Neil Young mixed with Oasis, in a jesu fashion, coupled with a demo production; intentionally underproduced. I’m not sure where a lot of the influence on “Alone” came from, electronic pop music for sure, short and sweet was the intention, driven entirely by the voice sample.

Regarding “Terminus,” did you set yourself a framework or musical approach beforehand like you did for “Every Day I Get Closer to the Light From Which I Came?“

— Not really no, generally when I work on a bunch of songs things will fall into place naturally, the songs become a whole and then collectively the songs will become conceptual as i write, they build their own logic, so to speak, I don’t force anything, I let things happen organically as I write and record.

I think around 2013, you said “Every Day I Get Closer to the Light From Which I Came” was going to set a precedent for the next album. Now that it's out, do you still think so? Personally, even though both records are different, I can definitely hear a connection.

— Yeah, shame it took 7 years to come to fruition! And many things changed over those 7 years, as ever. Jesu certainly documents my personal journey in life, it’s ultra personal, Godflesh is much more external comparatively. A lot to the solo jesu work took a backseat when I worked on the collaborations with Sun Kil Moon, but that was very refreshing and inspired me to take jesu further, I had notions of discontinuing the project at some point, but the collabs with Sun Kil Moon inspired me to keep pursuing jesu.

"Every Day I Get Closer to the Light From Which I Came” was inspired in great part by you becoming a father. Can you tell us a bit about what was on your mind when you wrote “Terminus?”

— That’s very true, especially the initial journey of bringing life into the/our world. everything is there in the lyrics and artwork for "Terminus" so of course, like a lot of my work, depends on the listeners perspectives, they can make it their own, make it personal. But it’s essentially about endings, and my obsession with finality, my sensitivity to it and my fear of it. There’s a line in the title song that says “my end, our end, the end, the end”, which pretty much sums it up.

The EP “Never” you released before “Terminus” is quite different and more focused on electronics. I remember you telling me that you liked going experimental on EPs, doing stuff you wouldn't do on a full length. So I figure that's still the case?

— Yeah, I like experimenting with everything, I like satisfying myself with different ideas, obviously that doesn’t suit my listeners too much, but I make this music for myself, and I’m always trying to do better. I still don’t know why I put myself through the trial and hell of releasing music, I often think about just recording for myself and not bothering with an audience, but I’m not really capable of earning money in other ways, so I have to finish music and release it, let it go. For me "Never" was just another way of interpreting the jesu mood, nothing deviates too much from the original intention of the project. It’s weird, critically, it was perceived as this big electronic departure, whereas jesu has sounded pretty much like this most of it’s lifetime! “Pale Sketches", "Lifeline" even "Silver” is all mostly electronic, save a real drum loop in the song "Silver", but this EP seemed to get this thing that its all electronic, whereas it;’s no more electronically oriented than any other jesu record I have made. jesu is a mood that can be explored and experimented with, I’m not making the first album over and over, some can’t get over that, but that was a different moment in my life which I captured, and as an artist who challenges oneself besides the audience you can never win, and one will generally never win hah. This is a new jesu, it comes with age, transitions. "Never" was intentionally idiosyncratic and deliberately fvcked up sounding, and I think by and large critically the subtleties were lost on people.

“Never” features two version of ''Never There for You'', one of them described as the ''original vision''. Can you explained how you ended up releasing two version of this song?

— The “original vision” existed like that since around 2010, I shelved it, it was to be a Pale Sketcher song, I had an album’s worth of similar songs, I still do, couldn’t decide if they should be jesu or Pale Sketcher. I sent them to Aphex Twin / Richard James because he was a huge fan of the Pale Sketcher EP “Seventh Heaven”, we were talking about a release on his label Rephlex, I had all these songs that were floating between jesu and Pale Sketcher. But then he folded Rephlex for good, a real shame, so I was left with all these songs in limbo, I still am, but at that period I shelved them all. I returned to them around 2018 and started adding guitars and vocals, thinking that they will now definitely be jesu songs. “Never There for You” was one of them, so I wanted the listener to hear what it was originally before I added more of organic me. I’m working on finalising all those songs for Rephlex into future jesu, probably an album that I hope to release late 2021, it’s not a "Terminus" though, and probably most ppl will hate it hah.

“Terminus” is the first album to feature Ted Parsons in a long while. Did you invite him because you felt these songs needed his touch?

— I wanted some live drums, 3 songs only. I was going to play them myself, like on "Opiate Sun". "Infinity" etc, but I really wanted Ted involved and see how he interpreted my drum parts, he always swings something and makes it interesting. he’s a very real drummer, and a very real human being.

When touring is possible again, would you like to tour with Jesu, with Ted on drums?

— I may tour solo, with electronics and projections. The band thing is tiresome and always just sounds like a band, bands bore me these days because of the constraints of the instruments, rock records also bore me these days; same productions, etc, very little actual aesthetic, but its popular and what do I know. But I’d rather jesu now sound hugely expansive live, not just like a rock band. But i’m still unsure. Live drums swallow my voice live, I can’t sing above them, and jesu is a tiny project, can’t play big venues with stage separation and screens around the drums, and 8 guys diving around onstage, it’s not affordable. I stopped performing as jesu for some time due to all those reasons.

You said “Silver” is probably your favourite Jesu record. Are there other Jesu albums that stand out in your mind?

— Did I say that?! Haha. I don’t recall, and that opinion changes every day I feel. I like how concise and all encompassing "Silver" is; it covers most of the ground that I feel the project should cover. But "Terminus" is my favourite jesu album, and it should be, otherwise I would not feel I was moving forward, and I feel I am, it is the best jesu album I have made.

Last year, you told Olivier ''Zoltar'' Badin that the next Zonal album would probably go in the direction of it's title track ''Wrecked''. Is it still true to this day and what can you tell us about that upcoming album?

— Well, a lot of time has passed since, but I think Kevin and I are still quite struck on that song as a template for future recordings, although everything changes all the time, of course, and time is passing fast once again, we haven’t discussed Zonal in some time.

I know you don't actually consider yourself as a guitarist. With you focusing on your electronic projects like JK Flesh and Zonal lately, do you ever get tired of guitar? I'm asking this because I recently discussed the subject with Steven Wilson. He basically told me that after 30 years writing and doing gigs with guitar, he's feeling more creative and excited when writing music on other instruments and I wondered if you ever felt something similar.

— All instruments are just a means to an end for me; a tool for the bigger job, I don’t really wish to be overly proficient at any instrument, I liked that about punk, and it’s what I’m not that fond of about overly progressive music, it’s like it’s for show, I don’t do anything for show, I’d rather be shit than great, it’s more interesting, it reflects the human condition, imperfection. I don’t wish for things to sound perfect, whatever that is, people should not come to my music for that, they probably don’t and it’s probably why my audience is so small haha.

I recently discovered that you worked with Josh Eustis with the mastering of the JK Flesh / Orphx live album and was a bit surprised. How did that happen?

— Josh is a very good friend of Dominick Fernow’s (Prurient / Vatican Shadow / Hospital Productions, etc), and Dominick is a very close friend of mine. I was aware that Josh does very good mastering besides being an extremely talented artist, so Dominick suggested josh master that collaboration, and it sounds excellent!

I interviewed Lee Dorrian some time ago and we were talking about the impact Napalm Death had, not just the band itself but all the bands who were formed after playing in that band: Godflesh, Carcass, Cathedral, Scorn... Lee thought this legacy had a lot to do with John Peel broadcasting a wide array of music on young aspiring musicians. How would you explain such creativity and versatility from musicians who all played in Napalm Death at one point?

— Lee is absolutely correct, a lot of very young kids listened to John Peel, most generations did, his taste exposed music to many of us who were already enquiring at a young age that we would not have heard anywhere else and of course back then this centralised things, not fragmented them like the internet does; a kid now can absorb an artist entire catalog in an hour, speed listen to it all, then have an opinion, but it’s informed, no context, no history, no experience. We heard music then on Peel and then hunted it down. It took work, valuable work that paid dividends. Peel’s broad appreciation of eternally subversive music and otherwise told us that music didnt need to exist in such strict compartments, that’s it’s all part of a greater whole, so when groups of musicians collaborated even at such young ages, our tastes were informed and wide, very rarely singular.

Can you tell us a bit about you latest remixing output? What were the tracks that you enjoyed the most remixing? Those are the names I could find: Full of Hell, Oathbreaker and a lot of projects I've never heard of.

— I always and love to remix, I love the fact that I didn’t create this music but can make something new from someone else’s work. Music is endless, for me, it’s just when you wish to end it, but ultimately it can never end. I have some remixes that I love moire than others, but only over time, I never let a remix go unless I am as happy as can be with it. Sometimes I would’ve loved to have done more, my Killing Joke remix is a good example of that, I wanted to go further, but Youth of Killing Joke told me they were happy with where I was at, I think I could’ve made it much better. The Oathbreaker remix you mentioned is a favourite of mine from the last years worth of my remixes. I’ll remix anyone, if they can afford my fee and I have the time!

I'm curious, since you released some of your music with your own label with Godflesh, Jesu and other projects, did it have an impact on the revenue you got from streaming platforms like Spotify, compared to albums released on Earache or Hydra Head? I'm asking this in the light of the neverending controversy regarding streaming revenue for musicians.

— On my own label more money can be earned from these services due to no split with another label, which usually would be 50/50, but streaming is very small as is common knowledge. I never see any royalties from Earache so can’t compare their rates etc since Godflesh is constantly recouping an advance from Columbia / Sony for the "Selfless" album that Earache, contractually, can recoup from, even though they didn’t give the advance, so they’re making money from the band and from an advance they never paid, which these days you would think that besides being unethical that it would be criminal, but such were the contracts in the 80’s / 90’s. So I’ve never seen a single penny from streaming with Earache!

I know it might be pointless to ask you, since someone's mind can change with time but do you still think “Post Self” may be your last album with Godflesh? Your told us last year that you weren't sure if you had enough in you creatively to do another album and also that the constant screaming was a bit harder to do.

— Hah, the shouting/screaming live now takes its toll, it does with age, I’m unsure due to not performing for so long thanks to the pandemic how my voice would be for Godflesh now in a live setting, I’d have very little problem in the studio. I’m still struck on the fact that there may not be another full length studio album from Godflesh, I haven’t been inspired to initiate one for numerous reasons, and I don’t wish for us to repeat ourselves in any way, I do have a lot of interesting old material though, some good rare stuff, demos, “Us and Them in Dub” which is also in the works, but I work on that sporadically, when I feel inspired to do so. So there’s a lot of good stuff coming.

Last time I interviewed you in 2014, Aphex Twin was making his grand return with “Syro”. I remember you telling me that the album was still shrinkwrapped on your desk. Knowing you're a big Aphex fan, I wanted to know if you liked that album, especially knowing that a lot of fans were disappointed by it.

— Ahh it was such a long time ago now that we spoke last! I love "Syro”, but I love Aphex, and since I first heard "Didgeridoo" when it was released and then "Quoth", he will always be a favourite, "Syro" may not be an Aphex favourite for me, but it’s still amazing, he is amazing; creative, subversive and doesn’t give a fvck ultimately, he’d also never release anything if he didnt really have to, he does this for himself, for me the best art is entirely selfish and should consider no one. People are always disappointed, a lot of people just can’t live with the fact that an artist strays from their own personal conception of what an artist should be, it’s some sort of misguided entitlement, I lost that when II was around 14, a lot of people don’t lose it and now these people have the internet. No artist owes me anything, if they gave me one thing in my life then i will always respect their art, regardless of whether it works for me or not, and if I don’t like it much, I won’t be peddling that opinion on the internet in an entitled egotistical manner, I’m glad I did not know that a lot of people were disappointed, haha.

Thank you very much! Best JKB, Jan 2021

#jesu #justin broadrick #interview

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radramblog · 3 years

Text

Radiohead Retrospective Part 4: We’ve got heads on sticks

Your name is Thom Yorke. You’ve just released what is considered one of the best albums of the 90s, if not of all time, and you’ve achieved a level of fame that at least one band member considers akin to the Beatles. Through the release of OK Computer, you’ve proven that even if people are pretty much over Oasis at this point, British rock bands still rule the airwaves. You’re also stressed the fuck out over just about all of this, and having a very hard time accustoming to the life of a celebrity- let alone the usual mental health issues.

What will you do?

Apparently, the answer was to write the fourth album to be as far away from the previous few as possible, seeking influence from IDM groups like Aphex Twin, jazz stuff, and just some bizarro instruments and experimentation and leaving a lot of the “rock” stuff behind. The primary genre listed for Kid A is usually Electronica or Ambient, with various off-kilter rock subgenres lagging behind, crying “you’re still gonna do guitars and stuff, right?”

Well…not as much anymore. But this era of Radiohead, this career-suicidal swerve, still proved monumentally successful, and showed that the band still had it, and that sometimes artistic risks do pay dividends.

A side note: I usually link music videos for the tracks I discuss as part of each post, as you’ll have seen in previous parts of this series. Kid A, however, doesn’t have any singles, and it sure doesn’t have any music videos. So…maybe just listen yourself. I’m probably in over my head here anyway.

I think the first 5 notes of Everything In Its Right Place are some of the most iconic in all of music.

Some personal background- Kid A was the first Radiohead I ever listened to. A particular cool and good mate of mine was a fan in high school, but I’d never listened to them at all, and I trusted his opinion musically, so I went to buy one of their CDs the next time I was at the shop. And for whatever reason, the cheapest one was Kid A at 10 bucks, and I didn’t want to gamble more than that, so that’s the one I got.

So the opening notes of Everything In Its Right Place were the first Radiohead I ever heard. And considering how much I obsessed over this band, in high school and beyond, it’s no surprise that this song is one of my favourites.

Not only did this song introduce me to Radiohead, it was effectively a gateway track for electronic music in general. This was the early 10s, and the majority of what I knew as electronic stuff was the EDM that was drowning the airwaves at the time. I hated that stuff out of principle, because being a hipster like that was definitely a personality. I don’t think I would ever have gotten into Vaporwave, into IDM, or into any electronic music the way I eventually would were it not for Everything In Its Right Place.

Now that I’ve spent 250 words talking about myself and not the actual song, we should probably stop that. Everything In Its Right Place is defined by this steady build of layering vocals and effects onto the relatively calm synth line, distorted vocals and word salad lyrics and manipulated noises growing and getting more chaotic before it just stops- the vocals fade out, the effects drop, and you’re left with the synth line- except it’s been slowly changing itself the whole time, and you don’t realise because you’ve been distracted by everything else at the same time.

It’s worth noting (and I don’t know if this was the case with OK Computer, because I don’t have an original copy of that one) that this was an album without liner notes, without the lyrics in the cover booklet. But at least in this case, the lyrics don’t matter as much as the v i b e. At least, that’s what I think.

On the topic of unintelligible lyrics, Kid A has a title track! I believe literally two Radiohead albums do this, the other being The Bends (though Hail to the Thief and In Rainbows do appear as lyrics). The song itself is an ambient, quiet piece that feels something like a twisted nursery tune- incredibly affected vocals, a syncopated (?) percussion, and a synth (I think???) that…I don’t know how to describe it, but it feels nursery-rhyme-y. If you’ve heard this song a few times, or you know what to listen for, you can piece together the lyrics somewhat- and they are, frankly, kind of unsettling. What is standing in the shadows at the end of your bed, can it please leave? And imagery of the Pied Piper is always either extremely silly or extremely unnerving, with this clearly leaning towards the latter. There’s a lot going on here- especially for a track most probably wouldn’t listen to outside the context of the full album. I know I generally don’t- not the kind of thing I generally am in the mood for.

We’re at 850+ words, and we’re only up to The National Anthem? Fuuuuck. Well, anyone who wasn’t on board the IDM train can at least appreciate this one more, it’s got an actual bassline. A killer one, at that, that drives the whole track. Well, you know, that and the B R A S S. Seriously, it sounds like they invited a marching band to this bad boy. The combination ends up sounding mostly like controlled chaos, a jazz band traffic jam wound together by that B A S S. But the bass can’t hold it forever, and eventually that shit breaks free and just, it just honks all over the place.

I’m frustratingly running out of things to say about this song I really like, as opposed to the other songs I really liked. Unfortunately, ya boi forgot to take his neurotypicalification pills today, and so I’m getting very distracted. Hopefully, that slightly unhinged nature suits the album somewhat.

The next song, How To Disappear Completely, is a Big Mood with a fun story attached. The main lyrics- I’m not here, this isn’t happening- were allegedly something none other than Michael Stipe from R.E.M. told Thom to help him deal with that massive stage fright that came with Getting Big. Fun trivia aside, this song is gorgeous, luscious with massive strings, an acoustic bend, aethereal vocals, and a background drone running through the thing that makes sure your hair is always a little on end through the thing. It’s a song whose lyrics are an attempt to escape anxiety, whose instrumentation serves more to reinforce it- a calm, melodic piece that builds into nervous swells and threatening strings. A song about fighting your fear, and losing.

Fuck me it’s a bit depressing isn’t it. It’s potentially the most emotionally revealing song the album has- a lot of the lyricism on other tracks is more metaphorical, or subtle, but the meaning in How To Disappear Completely is evident even just from the title. You get lost in the strings and they go from calming, to imposing, to downright menacing (and then back again) in the song’s final minute.

Treefingers, on the other hand, has a lot less to say, and by that I mean it’s an instrumental. A very atmospheric, ambient one, and thereby one I don’t have a lot to say about. I’m not sure I’m particularly good at commenting on regular music, but this kinda thing is a whole different animal. I have no idea how to interact with discussing this. I like it? I will say, that one note right at the end, that echoes for a bit, the one piece of clarity in this muddled, reverbed sphere, feels especially poignant, for reasons I cannot describe.

We go from ambient instrumental to arguable the most rock-song-like track on this album, Optimistic, certified banger that it is. Some might argue that it doesn’t fit here, but like, did they even hear the lyrics? The bridge? It more that deserves its place on one of the best albums around. The little way the guitar scales up during the chorus is excellent, the proggy drums and riffs are glorious, it’s just a very good rock song.

Also this is the first song with the lyric “dinosaurs roaming the earth”, which, aside from being a bit of a non-sequitur, would return two albums later. And I’m really looking forward to that one.

In Limbo is a song I kind of always forget exists until I hear it again. It’s antimemetic, the way the song goes slipping from my mind until I hear those opening notes again. I’m going to be honest, it’s probably because it’s also the most mid song on the album. Far from bad, but it isn’t doing anything that How to Disappear Completely or Optimistic aren’t doing better. If I had to remove any track from this album, it might be this one?

Watch me get fucking lynched from the fandom for that one, if I ever post this to r/Radiohead or whatever. Which I might, though as much as I’d like more people to read my things I’m also extremely anxious about the potential response. Like the album I’m discussing today, I’m terrified of fame.

Incidentally, In Limbo is also the shortest track on the album (Treefingers beats it by 11 seconds), though this isn’t initially obvious online at least, because people keep messing with Motion Picture Soundtrack. But we’re not there yet, hang on.

We go from the forgettable (to me) In Limbo to the utterly mesmerizing Idioteque. Anxious but danceable, confusing but emotive, messy but tightly controlled. I love this fucking song to death. The reason I got the particular Radiohead poster that I did was because it has lyrics from this on it.

I’ve heard that lyrics for this album were largely pulled from a hat, and nowhere is that more clear than here (or maybe Everything In Its Right Place). Despite this, there’s a pretty clear theme in them, a continuation of some of the themes of this and the last albums. A condemnation of wealth and cowardice in the face of ecological disaster. In the form of an apocalypse disco.

What a lot of people don’t know about this track is that it actually samples an extremely old electronic music piece- one written in 1973, on a particularly old computer. The track, mild und leise, is a very interesting track considering its age- I’m reminded of Selected Ambient Works by Aphex Twin- not so much musically, but about how that reason was as influential as it was because it was the first time songs had sounded like that, because it was the first time songs could sound like that- I suppose it’s somewhat similar in that way, if older. These pieces and their composers inexorably linked by the allure of technology, and how that could be used to define new eras in music history- in Radiohead’s case, it certainly defined the next few albums in their lifespan.

Jesus mild und leise is long, it’s still going as I write this. I need to get back to Kid A, man!

Idioteque leads directly into Morning Bell, admittedly another less memorable song. Largely percussion lead, plenty of falsetto, and with a very unsubtle theme if you listen to the lyrics. I recall seeing someone saying that “cut the kids in half” was a really surprising and spooky line, and, yeah, sure, it sort of is, but it’s only particularly bad if you don’t pay attention for the rest of it. It’s about divorce, dude, it’s not subtle.

Or apparently not, according to one interview, but Thom said the interpretation isn’t invalid, so haha still winning baybeeeee.

I think the only part of this I really can’t do without is the outro, because the last minute and a half of this song is really cool. The mumbled lyrics go really well with the rising percussion and eerie effects that end the track.

Our final song is Motion Picture Soundtrack, or, Exit Music (for Walt Disney’s Depression Nap). This and Street Spirit I think are what really cement Radiohead’s reputation for brutal closers, both of them being tragic but hauntingly beautiful in different ways. In this case, it’s the instrumentation- glittering harps attempting the echo 50s Disney. There’s actually a version of this song from the OK Computer era with extremely different instrumentation, piano rather than organ, and no harps (and a third verse that is utterly brutal). Regardless, this is the song they chose to close the apocalypse that Kid A is on- the final lyric being “I will see you in the next life”, as the glittering echoes into the night. Poignant and tragic, but a little hopeful- the next life hopefully won’t have the struggles and pain of this one.

And then, of course, there’s the hidden track. Nicknamed Genchildren by some (that’s just the username of the dude who uploaded it to Napster back in the day), officially known as Untitled, and the true closer to the album. With Spotify slapping it right at the end of Motion Picture Soundtrack, it’s not clear the true nature of this song- it’s actually hidden on the original album, after several minutes of silence, just long enough that you’ve forgotten you left the player running (or you’re still crying from Motion Picture Soundtrack). I don’t think there’s a real word for what this sounds like other than heavenly, and incredibly brief piece I’ve heard compared to the pearly gates. After all, if we end on “I will see you in the next life”, then what can this be but that?

Thus closes Kid A, a gorgeous and powerful album, yet an insane swerve for any rock band to pull, not just Radiohead. A bold strategy, and yet it paid off for them- Kid A would not only be massively influential, it was also massively successful both critically and commercially- but not to the standard of OK Computer before it. But they obviously weren’t trying to do OK Computer part 2, just as that album was deliberately not The Bends part 2.

Kid A would pretty much get a Part 2, though, less than a year later. And it’s that album we’ll be discussing next week, obviously. Until then.

#ramble #music #radiohead #kid a #idm #idm has to be the most pretentious acronym on the planet

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #449-450

(both from yesterday)

What do you dislike about the house you live in? It's in the suburbs. Have you thought more about your funeral, or your wedding? My hypothetical wedding. Dinosaurs or unicorns? DINO BOIZ. What do you think of Maroon 5? I like some of their old stuff, and one or two of their newer songs, like "Payphone." What about Coldplay? I enjoy them. Fall Out Boy? Love 'em. Katy Perry? She's okay, I guess. There are a few songs I enjoy. Have you ever snuck into an R-rated movie when you weren’t old enough to see it without parents? No. What is your favorite Disney show? I don't have the slightest clue what's on Disney nowadays. What do you miss most about elementary school? Digging tunnels in the sandbox during recess with my friends. :'( When was the last time you saw the person you had your first kiss with? The start of February 2017. Hard to believe it's been four whole years... Is there anything hanging from the doorknob in your room? Ha, yes. Mom got me a little sign that says, "If I can't wear my flipflops, I'm not going," lmfao. All I wear are flipflops. What's your opinion on wearing pajamas in public? Do you yourself do that? I LITERALLY couldn't care less. I wear pjs in public sometimes; it really depends on where I'm going. What was the most severe punishment your parents gave you when you were growing up? Taking away technology was the worst. Do you usually fill up at the same gas station? Mom goes to a few different ones, depending on proximity and price. Have you ever owned any pet birds? What kinds/colours? I have not. I used to want a cockatiel for a long time, though. Do you pay much attention to your YouTube recommendations? If so, what was the last video that caught your attention? Kinda, I guess. I'm not sure what was the last recommended video I clicked. What has been the happiest time of your life so far? It's complicated. Most of my best memories are from high school with Jason, yet at the same time I was HORRIBLY depressed. I think my most pure happiness when I was really progressing with recovery. Moving on from him, losing tons of weight, feeling motivated... Have you ever had a crush on a celebrity? Who? My two biggest celebrity crushes ever have been/is Link Neal and Mark Fischbach. Do you have any fears you would rarely admit to anyone? Nah. Admitting fears isn't a big deal to me at all. What website do you spend most of your time on? YouTube. What did you have for dinner last night? A chicken sandwich. What could you talk about for hours? Meerkats, Silent Hill, Mark... Do you have a lamp beside your bed? Yes. What's your favorite ice cream topping? Chocolate syrup. What was the last TV show you binge watched? Avatar: The Last Airbender. Would you rather eat burgers or tacos? Oh, burgers for sure. I don't likes tacos. Did your mother change her maiden name when/if she got marred? Yes. Do you use TikTok? Nope. Are you closer to your mother or father? Mom. Do you own any costumes? No. Would you care if your SO went to a strip club? Hm. So long as they're not laying hands on any of the strippers and they ASKED me first, I don't think I'd care? I'm pretty sure I'd also only be okay with that if we were a long-term couple where very strong trust has been built. How helpful are your parents to you? Would they help you to pay for your first apartment? College? Where does the line end? They are so, so very helpful and I'm pretty sure would go to the ends of the earth to help me in any way they could. I know they WOULD help pay for the things you mentioned, but it's not something I want them to do. I want to be able to financially provide for myself, one day... Have you ever had to evacuate due to natural disaster? No. What video games did you have when you were growing up? LOADS. I looooooooved video games. What was the first election you ever voted in? This last one, actually. Can you hear anything right now? Yeah. I'm watching Gab play the Resident Evil 3 remake on hardcore mode. What's the coolest, most unusual pet you can think of? I've always thought sugar gliders were quite interesting as pets. I wanted one for a looong time, but I am not informed on how well they do in captivity and if it should even be legal for me to truly want one anymore. Have you ever seen a UFO or other weird object in the sky? By definition, it was a UFO. Sometimes I do even wonder if it was an alien spacecraft, given JUST how strange that shit was. I won't explain it again, just 'cuz I've done it in many surveys before. Are there any albums you know every single lyric to? I could probably nail Ozzy's Black Rain. What's your go-to painkiller? Advil. Does your mom have a celebrity look-alike? No, but there's a celebrity with her exact name. Do you think it’s pretty when 100s of balloons are let loose into the sky? NO NO NO NO NO that shit is SO upsetting. Where do you think they end up??? It's littering. Animals get choked and tangled by them all the time. What do you draw more than anything else? Definitely meerkats. Have you ever visited someone in a psychiatric home or ward? No, but people have visited me in one. Have you ever received a parking fine? No. Are you in any group chats? Who's in them? No. Do you have a lisp? No. Do you have an Instagram account? Do you use it often? I have three, but one's pretty much dead. I don't post stuff regularly on my other two either, really... Can you parallel park? I would absolutely hit another car. Have you ever played paintball? Did you get hit? No, that shit's dumb. You can get really hurt. What was your favorite fairy tale when you were a kid? Maybe Little Red Riding Hood? Are your parents still together? If not, do you know why? No. Mostly financial disagreements, but I know there's stuff I don't know. Have you ever been evicted? Why? Yes, because we couldn't keep up with rent. Have you ever worked as a manager or supervisor? Noooo. What was the last thing you voted for? So Snake Discovery (a reptile channel I love) hosted an enclosure build-off recently, and the winners were selected by fans via voting. The guy I voted for got 3rd. What's the most amazing animal you've ever seen in captivity? I've been very close to an elephant at a zoo once. They're magnificent. Having been to Sea World as a kid (I would NEVER go now), I also saw the killer whale show. As much of a spectacle as it was, it was animal abuse regardless. Do you like white chocolate? It's okay in small doses. Have you ever eaten snow? Yeah. Do you talk to your pets? Um, duh. Have you ever adopted a stray? (Cat or dog?) Cats, yes. Do you read about any mythology? (Greek, Roman, Norse, Egyptian, etc) No, not by my own will. I DO love mythology, I just... don't read it. Do you ever use bath bombs? No. Have you ever gotten angry at an employee and complained to the manager? No. Have you ever sent your food back at a restaurant? Yes, because they got my meal wrong. I was REALLY shy to do it, but I made sure to do it politely and apologetically. Do you sleep in a bra? What mad lad sleeps in a bra???????????? Has your ex ever gone out with someone close to you? No. Can you suggest someone funny on YouTube? I'll go for someone what isn't my obvious vote, ha ha. There are truly so many, but Garrett Watts is high on the list. Elena Bateman, too. Can you do a handstand? No. Has anyone close to you ever been suicidal? Yes. Have you ever broken someone's heart and didn't care? Tyler sure acted like I did, and to be entirely frank, I didn't care very much, but only because it was a HUGE overreaction and I knew he'd be fine quick. What color is your hairbrush? It's just a white comb. Who was your most recent call from? My psychiatrist. Have you ever watched someone die? Only animals... It's the absolute worst. Are you currently "seeing" someone? No. Are you friends with someone who's autistic? I might be, but I know my niece is on the spectrum. Do you like humans? To be entirely transparent... I think I wish humans were never a thing. We've done so, so much harm to the planet, some things irrevocable. Earth would be a much healthier, far more peaceful place if we'd never existed. Do you like pandas? I love pandas. P.S., fuck outta here if you're one of the people who don't support conservation efforts for them. That shit blows my mind. What do you think of Evanescence? They're great. Amy's voice is absolutely incredible. I don't even think that's an opinion, but global fact, ha ha. What do you think of Avenged Sevenfold? I like some of their stuff. I haven't heard a whole lot though, honestly. What do you think of Halestorm? ^ Do you think you are attractive? God no. I don't see me as an attractive person at all. Do you like dinosaurs? I love 'em; I was OBSESSED as a kid, and my first aspired job was a paleontologist. Do you like lasagna? No. Do you share a room? No. When was the last time you climbed a tree? Never, actually. Have you ever been hospitalized for more than 2 weeks? I think my longest was three. What can you do that none of your friends can do? I dunno. Why did you last go to the airport? Mom and I were dropping Sara off so she could go home. Who was the last person to see you in your underwear? My mom. Who’s the most attractive female you’ve ever seen? Maybe Alissa White-Gluz from Arch Enemy? Or my friend Alon. I'm certain there's more, because women are just so fuckin beautiful asdkfajlwejkrjqwe Red, white, yellow, or pink roses? I actually like the original, rich red. Do you think someone would ever want to marry you? Well, two people have, but one absolutely doesn't anymore and the other knows that it's not healthy or emotionally safe for either of us to imagine that at this time. I don't know if anyone ever will again. Do you like Thanksgiving? No. Like I enjoy the focus on thankfulness, but the history isn't right and I don't enjoy the food. Do you ever wear colored eye liner? No. Have you ever used a darkroom? No. Have you ever been "popular"? No. Has someone ever tried to convert you? Yes. Have you ever been told that you dress like a slut? No, not that how someone dresses has any relevance to their sexual activity. What’s your most recent obsession? Final Fantasy X jfccccccc. Video games or board games? The former. Are you scared of tarantulas? As much as I talk about them... you can probably tell I have a massive interest in them, ha ha. However, even though I love them, they're still sorta scary. Like, threat poses are no joke. And it's terrifying on the very rare occasion they hiss. During Covid, do you wear a mask or no mask? I'm fully vaccinated, and yet I still wear a mask because I'm a considerate human fucking being. Do you have a PlayStation 4? No, but I reeeeaaally want one. :/ Have you ever played Fortnite? Nah, not my type of game. Do you like anime? Yeah. Have you ever been on a boat? Yeah. I was always SO excited as a kid when Dad would take the boat out for a fishing trip. Have you ever played Kingdom Hearts? I've played some of it with Jason. I wasn't a fan of it. Have you ever built a snowman? Yes. DC or Marvel? I don't really have a preference.

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Do you prefer your nails long or short? Why? Short, because I can't keep my nails long for the life of me. I pick/peel my nails badly. Do you have any vinyl records? No. Are you still in touch with your best friend from high school? No. Have you ever visited any celebrity gravesites? No. How do you feel about archaeology? It's extremely fascinating. Would you have a big cat (like a tiger) for a pet if you could? No. I could never provide the environment they need, and it's simply not safe. They are not domestic animals, and even the ones that seem most tame can surprise you. What are your favorite smells? Cinnamon rolls, coffee, lilac, fresh baked bread, barbecue, etc. Have you ever had to block people online for harassing you? I'm not sure, actually... What is your favorite thing to do on The Sims? Surveys have a lot of questions about those games... I only ever played the ones that focused on animals, and I think I most enjoyed breeding them and naming the bbz. :^) And watching their behavior. Which hair color you've had has been your favorite? Red. If you were stupid-rich, would you ever actually want a mansion? No. I do not need all that room, nor am I wasting my money on such excessive space. What drinking games have you played? None. Do you take lessons for anything? No. Has something really heavy ever fallen on you? No. If you wear makeup, what colors do you usually wear? Only black. Does your shower have curtains or a glass door/wall? Curtains. If you have more than one pet, do they ever get jealous of each other? One is a snake and the other is a cat, so. Is there a room in your house that you don’t like going in? No. Besides salt and butter, do you put anything on your popcorn? Nothing besides what you mentioned. Are you lonely? I'm way too lonely for it to be healthy. Do you like pineapple? Yep. Have you ever seen fireflies? Yes; they're endemic to here. Have you ever trespassed? As a kid, yes. Do you raise your hand or participate in class? I did sometimes. Are you afraid of heights? Yes. Are you afraid of the dark? No. Would you ever be your school’s mascot who wears that costume? No. Have you ever written a poem? I've written a lot. Would you ever be a tornado chaser? FUCK TO THE HELL NO. What is your favorite thing to eat with bbq sauce, if you even like that stuff? I hate bbq sauce. Have you ever had to do a class in summer school? No. Have you ever been to the rainforest? No. Ever thought about writing a book? Yes. Have you ever had a dream where you killed someone? Yes. Have you ever solved a Rubik’s Cube? Nope. Have you seen all of the Jaws movies? No, only the first one with Tyler. It was aight. Have you ever had a black eye? No. Is your ex sexually attractive to you still? I haven't seen a picture of Jason in years, and I don't want to. Not because I care about how he looks now, it'd just be extremely triggering to see his face. I still find Sara gorgeous. Have you ever been to couple’s counseling? No. How often does your employer ask you to work overtime? N/A When was the last time you were scared? Ummmm I really can't say I know. What’s your favorite song by Rihanna? "Disturbia" is where it's AT. There's this synthwave edit of it that I positively adore. Can you speak binary? No. Have you ever had a pet that you disliked? A family pet, yes. Do you like boys with long hair? UGH yes. Do you like root beer? Not really, no. Do you like ice cream cake? Not really. Do you ever dream of yourself dying? That's not all that rare in my nightmares. What song always makes you sad? I think two songs are tied for what makes me most sad: "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin and "Eternally Yours" by Motionless In White. Were you mean as a little kid? No; I was a sweet kid. Have you ever tried spam? No, it looks SO gross to me. How fast can you run? This is pathetic, but I don't think I CAN run. My knees are too weak. I think my weight coming down on them would just make me crumple over. Have you ever bought something from Spencer's? Yeah. Have you ever been on a diet? I've tried diets many times. Do you prefer light or dark jeans? Dark. When you listen to music, do you generally sing along, or just listen? I almost always just listen. Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook? Yeah. Who was your first love? Do you ever miss that person? Jason. I miss his memory every day. I say "memory" because it's been years, and I have no way of knowing who he is today. How many cars are parked at your house right now? One. Has anyone ever told you you’re a control freak? No. Do you know anyone who has gone missing? If so, were they ever found? Not personally. What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Some wings with extremely hot sauce at Buffalo Wild Wings. Have you ever deliberately tried to get someone drunk? Um yeah, no. Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream? No. I don't like sprinkles in general. Do you know how to do the moon walk? No. Has anybody ever told you that you have a good singing voice? Yes, somehow. Onion rings or french fries? French fries, for sure. Who is the best cook that you know? Dunno. If you have your ears pierced, when did you get them pierced? When I was a kid. I don't remember the age, but I was old enough to decide myself that I wanted them pierced. If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? They have their own places now. Do you like fried rice? Yessss. Are there any animals you refuse to touch? Some bugs. Have you ever intentionally fed a house spider? I don't believe so, no. What makes you feel lucky? That I have the family I do. What is something nice going on in your life right now? Just the gym-going, really... Who’s the worst person you’ve encountered on the Internet? An old friend I just knew as Shakes. If death wasn’t a consequence, what would you try? Maybe sky-diving, idk. Has a teacher ever told you off? No. Have you ever told off a teacher? No. Do/did you take school seriously or not? I certainly did. How do you usually cope with breakups? Not well. I obsess over how something's wrong with me and I'm not good enough for anyone. Disney princess or Disney animal movies? Animals, for sure. What's your favorite Katy Perry song? It's evading me right now... Have you ever made/tried friendship bread!? Omg, I forgot that was a thing! I actually have. I've completely forgotten the gist of it or even how it tastes, but I remember I loved it. What do you want to know about the future? If I'll ever be content and happy. What's your biggest insecurity? My weight. Ever found something disgusting in your food while eating out? No, thank god. Does the area where you live have a good or bad reputation? A very bad one. Are there any holidays that you don't celebrate? Yeah, like St. Patrick's Day, among some others. If you could find out who you're gonna marry right now, would you? Yes. Save myself time and heartbreak. How important is it to you that your partner has the same religious views? I wouldn't date someone very religious. If they're more tame about it, that's fine, but I'd prefer to not date a religious individual. Do you own a Wii? Yeah. I've kinda been wanting to play Guitar Hero or Rock Band lately on it... Do you like a lot of cheese on your pizza? "A regular, reasonable amount of cheese." <<<< This. I really don't like when things are so cheesy that it leaves a ridiculous trail when you try to separate pieces. Have you ever been made fun of because of your sexuality? Not directly to my face, but I can guarantee people I know had certain ~opinions~ on it when I came out. I also like just came out as pansexual versus bi, and I'm not even telling a lot of people in my personal life because I know they'll find the concept absolutely ridiculous. What would you do if you found an abandoned animal? "Depends on what type of an animal it was, and whether it was friendly or skittish." <<<< This. I'm obviously not going to try to usher a rabid dog over to me (I'd call a rescue or something if the animal appeared potentially dangerous), but if the animal appeared safe, my heart would absolutely lead me to try and get the animal to come to me so I could take it home and try to find the owner. Have you ever kissed someone who had a tongue piercing? No. What singer/band do you think deserves to be more famous than they are? Jonathan Young from YouTube. He is INCREDIBLE. He deserves to be picked up by a label so badly. What is your favorite PlayStation 1 game? The original Silent Hill, no competition. Do you think objectum sexuals are real, or attention seekers? I really can't imagine someone pretending to want to fuck their car for attention. I don't get it AT ALL, and it's weird as shit to me, but I mean, I don't think people can control what they're attracted to. How far out of your age bracket would you date? 21-early 30s, probs. Have you ever had an STD? No. Have you ever tried pho? No. Pick one: Crash Bandicoot or Spyro? Spyro!!!! I have the original trilogies of both series, but Spyro is where it's AT. Does your job allow piercings or tattoos? I'm unemployed, but I wouldn't work at a job that didn't, honestly. If you could dye your hair any color right now with absolutely no restrictions, what color would you dye it? Maybe like a galaxy-esque mixture of layered colors. I've wanted that for YEARS. Have you ever known a white supremacist? This region is swimming in them. Have you ever spoken to a detective before? No. Do ladders scare you? Climbing them does, yes. Do you have any tattoos on your arms? Yeah. Have you ever thrown up on anybody? Unless I did unknowingly as a baby, no. How many people have you turned down when they asked you out? Uhhh two or three, maybe? What is your favourite kind of fruit cobbler? I actually haven't tried enough to have an educated favorite, but I can say I love peach. Do you hear any other people talking right now? I'm watching a let's player play Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice, so I hear her, obviously. When was the last time you started a new medication? It's been a while, idk. What is your favourite type of nut? Cashews, I guess. I don't really like nuts, but I definitely like cashew bars. Where did you eat the best pizza you’ve ever eaten in your life? ... Domino's lmaoooo. Did you ever watch The Rugrats when you were a kid? Yeah, I loved that show. I even had two video games. Do you know anyone who was adopted? Yes. Can you name all 50 US state capital cities? No. Can you tie balloons? I can't, actually. Have you had a deep conversation with anyone today? Yeah. I wanted Sara's advice on something I'm dealing with. On your Facebook friends list, who was the last person to have their b-day? One of my sisters' was yesterday, actually. What did you/are you having for dinner tonight? I had Special K cereal. Name some healthy foods that you enjoy eating. Strawberries, apples, bananas, (sometimes) broccoli, other things that aren't coming to me. Who was the last person you Facebook messaged? My friend Girt. What flavor was the last cupcake you ate? The cupcake itself was chocolate, and the icing was uhhhh... blue? Apart from sleeping, what do you plan to do tonight? I haven't done anything of note. I'm probably going to bed soon. What’s the age difference between your parents? Two years, I think. When was the last time you ate an apple? Today. I have been on a big sliced apples w/ peanut butter kick lately. Have you had any caffeinated beverages today? I have soda every day. :x Have you eaten any chocolate today? What kind? Mom brought me a Reese's home today when she went out with a friend. How many different towns/cities have you lived in? Three. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone special? Poems, yes. Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? Not very much physically. Emotionally... I don't know. Do you have any ice cream in your freezer? What flavor is it? No. Ice cream is my #1 comfort food, so that's a big "keep out of the house."

#survey #surveys #random questions

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howtotrainyouragents · 3 years

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Things I Noticed in the Hamilton Film

Soooo, I was supposed to have posted this last year when the film first dropped, and I forgot...

Anywayyyy, things that were new, from the album, or was obvious to everyone but me. This is literally just me listing details I loved for my own keepsake later on

I hope this film’s success (and the play’s hopeful continued success on stage), shows that Broadway plays can and should be filmed for everyone

Lin Manuel Miranda is a brilliant writer, scriptwriter, musician, rapper, singer, and a genuinely lovely person, but I think my favorite part about him is his acting. He has such a pure naturalness and sincerity in his acting. He nails microexpressions/gestures and sometimes I forget that he’s acting

E.g., Lin’s devastation after Washington kicks him out

There’s some songs I wondered what their purpose was, but watching it I understood. For example, Story of Tonight sets up the purpose of the revolution. Like, My Shot is Hamilton’s ‘I want’ song, but Story of Tonight is all of the revolutionaries ‘I want’ song, and that’s why it comes up again for Laurens and Hamilton at their ends

Samuel Seabury’s acting was gold

In Right Hand Man the way the backup stage/cast lights up as they sing ‘not throwing away my shot” and Hamilton agrees to work for Washington

The fact that Helpless ends with “You’ll be a new man” because Hamilton is still so obsessed with his own ascendency

HOLY FUCK RENEE ELISE GOLDSBERRY

They way they start Satisfied, it’s like Angelica doesn’t know the true extent of her devastation until she gives her toast and says “satisfied”. Like, she knows what she’s done but she’s still thinks this is fine and this is for the best, and it’s not until this moment that the weight of it fully hits her. By the end of it, it’s like she’s barely holding it together for this toast

Towards the end of the song, Eliza kisses her cheek and Renee’s expression is like she’s about fall apart in that very moment from the sheer overwhelming joy and pain

So in Helpless when their talking about letters, Peggy does a cute random shimmy while handing Eliza the letter. But then in Satisfied we see that she’s doing the shimmy to the beat of Satisfied, meaning that she knows how Angelica feels and knows about the love triangle

I’m trying really hard not to scream about the rewind of all the dance and action in Satisfaction but please know I am internally screaming about this forever.

Almost forgot, Burr and Hamilton were friends at one point. Burr shows up for his wedding to wish him well :(

I wasn’t gonna scream that much here, but LESLIE ODOM JR.

Leslie’s smile- amused and scoffing disbelief- when singing about Hamilton in Wait for it

Speaking of Wait for it, the way the whole cast is waiting on stage and the balconies as Burr sings. and the way the dancers shift to Hamilton’s direction when Burr talks about him

Also the lighting creates boxes on the stages, like Burr is trapped. But then this reappears in Your Obedient Servant

I never knew the lyrics were “This is commonplace, 'specially 'tween recruits” and not “’tween corps” in Ten Duel Commandments...makes more sense

I think there’s 10 people in that line up in Ten Commandments

The way Stay Alive conflicts Hamilton’s precious notions of sacrifice, and forces him to shift his focus from dying to legacy

The mimic of the bullet in Stay Alive

The way that Eliza is also so excited about the war and the scholars in The Schuyler Sisters and that excitement goes away after she has the actual risk of losing someone she loves because of the war

Who’s the choreographer because DAMN (btw it’s Andy Blankenbuehler)

Also the dancers lifting up other dancers for whole bars? Incredible

The way women are interwoven into the story of the war, singing the chorus and setting the scene and rejoicing with the soldiers at the end

The fucking red lighting in Yorktown. Also, the shot in the song’s pause is one of the best shots in musical history.

The fact that ‘black and white soldiers wonder alike if this really means freedom’ ‘not yet’ is a commentary on slavery and the line is said by Washington

The brilliant way What Comes Next undercuts the gravitas of Yorktown .

Also, King George loses more and more of his costume and moves around more as the show goes on. Also, blue lighting with “I’m feeling blue” hahaha

Lafayette and Hercules getting the same letter about Laurens + Hamilton’s sobbing. And Laurens’ singing ‘there will be more of us’, referring to the future generations who will fight and win abolition.

Nonstop:

Burr’s disgust while Hamilton rants. Hamilton’s pouting then childish glee at the beginning

Burr stays at the bottom of the staircase after Hamilton climbs it. Also, Jefferson descends the staircase after Hamilton ascends it, indicating their statuses

The refrain of “How does a....” shows up in Nonstop as Burr’s “How do you write...” (other characters sing their own personal refrains but Burr sings this), and it’s like this ongoing, jealous, incredulous questioning of how Hamilton became so successful, and part of the answer of how he did it is that he doesn’t stop writing and working.

Regardless of which sister he ended up with, love was never gonna be enough for Hamilton

The way Daveed Diggs jumps and dances and dives across the stage in just about every song he’s in. The man truly deserved the Emmy

Jefferson’s being surrounded by his slaves because he sucks

Hamilton’s costume goes from white --> brown-->blue-->green-->black and someone with more color scheme expertise needs to dissect this for me please

The fact that even Burr peaces out when it comes to the affair, like, nope, this is too messed up even for me

An in-universe explanation as to why the Ten Duel Commandments and Phillip’s count is the same is that Hamilton’s killing (metaphorically and literally) in order to stay alive is a part of their family’s DNA.

Anthony Ramos is phenomenal at playing 9 years old then having to switch to 19

The fact that Phillip was probably so determined to defend his father is that this is after the Reynolds Pamphlet and everyone was humiliating and scorning Hamilton

The Room Where it Happened

Hamilton is like an apparation to him, and Burr is both scared and begging the ghost to reveal the truth

The fact that this song is a plot song and a ‘i want’ song and a villain song all at once. Also, the song picks up speed to signal the shift from historical recounting to ‘i want’ song

They replay the beginning where Jefferson/Madison call for Hamilton

Jefferson being the one to ask “Don’t you remember Lafayette”, and there’s like a slight change in his demeanor that’s more Lafayette then Jefferson

Burr, Madison, and Jefferson discreetly talking to each other in Washington on Your Side representing their nefarious schedming. Also, Daveed Diggs keeps Jefferson’s limp even without the cane. Also Madison is angry at Hamiilton when he says “the bill of rights, which I wrote!”

One Last Time:

How perfectly the Bible verse reflects Washington’s opinion of legacy. The younger men are obsessed with preserving their own memories in history, but for Washington, his legacy would be that everyone would be safe and at peace.

Washington’s practically crying at the end

Hamilton asking Washington here to teach him how to say goodbye because Hamilton genuinely doesn’t know how: people left him before he could ever say goodbye

We Know: Jefferson’s pure WTF face when he says “my God...”. In this reaidng, Burr definitely threatened him (I didn’t always intepret that way when listening). But Hamilton’s still an idiot.

Hurricane: Once again, Lin’s facial expressions. The way the the chorus stands around and watches him. But also the freaking brilliant way that the dancers mimic the hurricane, and Burr and Maria are the only other people in the hurricane with Hamilton. But at the end, it’s just Hamilton and the desk

Reynolds Pamphlet: The way Washington can’t even look at him, but Angelica gets in his face to yell at him. Also, Jefferson hands a pamphlet to the conductor

This reading, Phillippa Soo sings Burn with so much rage and fury and that is pretty much my favorite part of this entire film

Hamilton’s face at “Alexander, did you know?”

The fact that Angelica narrates Uptown because it’s too intimate for Burr or anyone else to narrate. Eliza’s changing facial expressions as she slowly lets him in. The way Hamilton just completely breaks down and sobs

The Election of 1800:

Jefferson shaking his head when Madison suggests Hamilton

Burr’s falseness is hilarious. He hands Hamilton a pamphlet.

Jefferson’s look of resignation when Hamilton is making his decision, then starts dancing around when he’s won

The close-up of Burr’s face falling when he realizes who Hamilton has voted for

The whole “runner-up becomes VP” thing made me think about if we could have had Hillary Clinton as VP, and I made myself sad.

Your Obedient Servant: I always saw this song as a reflection of the custom, but I never fully appreciated how it reflects their relationship: their relationship has completely disintegrated, but their working to maintain this false appearance of friendship/civility that no longer has a place in their relationship.

Also, Burr’s increasingly incensed and it does not help that Hamilton sends like a 12-page letter and the dancer even teases Burr

The guy who gives Hamilton Burr’s duel challenge plays Charles Lee. Karma

The World Was Wide Enough

Burr’s POV then Hamilton’s POV, like this story has become less and less about Hamilton and he is no longer in control of who’s telling his story

The shot of Eliza walking away and in her wake, it’s Burr shooting

Burr’s alone in the stage, finally realizing the world (aka the stage) was wide enough for the both of them, but it’s too late. Also, in part foreshadowing his own future: that he had the world before him regardless of Hamilton, but he was completely ruined after this duel

I definitely cried at ‘the orphanage’. Also I interpret the gasp at the end as her breaking fourth wall and seeing the audience and realizing that Hamilton’s legacy has continued even to today.

#hamilton #i know it's cool to hate hamilton now #but i dont #so forgive me for putting this on your dash #agent report #agent h

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letters-from-r · 3 years

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Windy by JEON SOYEON: A Review

So last July 5 Soyeon released her first mini album as a solo act, 'Windy' which takes its name from her alter-ego. It is written, composed, and arranged by Jeon Soyeon with the help of a few professionals in the industry.

This is my review of the album.

#1 BEAM BEAM

The title track 'BEAM BEAM ' is an absolute summer bop. This is a story about Windy in her 20s. It's pop mixed with a little bit of rock. The addition of the electric guitar riffs is perfect in my opinion, it adds to the addictive feel of the song.

It's been a while since I've been so red with love I'm twenty-four, what I realized now is that, love is fucked Even if my eyes are sometimes cloudy

Even though at first it doesn't sound like it would be deep lyrics-wise, I still think Soyeon did a good job with this one. Of course, I don't speak Korean so I wouldn't know how her lyrics would sound to native speakers. I still definitely feel the poetic vibe of the lyrics when translated in English. I especially like the part where she says something along the lines of, "I have to start saving, but it takes so long to gain and it's so easy to lose," which I think describes how I feel about my own adult life in general (especially with K-Pop as an obsession, am I right? 😉).

The music video for the title track is well done. It's colorful and I liked the choreography as well. This is a solid 9/10 for me.

#2 Weather

This second track, 'Weather', has actually been spoiled before by Soyeon on a variety show. It was supposed to be the 'DUMDi DUMDi' of 2020. Now that it has been released, I definitely see the qualities of 'Weather' that would make it fit for a girl group, but 'DUMDi DUMDi' was still ultimately the better decision in my opinion.

'Weather' gives me nostalgic vibes. It doesn't even sound old, or have an old type of beat or style, but it gives off upbeat cottagecore. If anyone reading this would like to listen to 'Weather', I suggest listening with headphones because there are some really pretty background vocals in here that is very (G)I-DLE (come to think of it, 'DUMDi DUMDi' had interesting background vocals as well).

My favorite lyrics from this song:

How was your sky today? How was your day today?

I just thought it was a really interesting way to ask somebody how they're doing or how they're feeling.

Soyeon's vocals in this song is great. I see parts where she's sorta maybe kinda channeling a (G)I-DLE member, maybe she visualized a line or two to be sung by another member.

This is an 8.5/10 for me.

#3 Quit

When I heard the audio snippet for Windy, 'Quit' was one of the songs I was super excited to listen to. There's a satisfying drop for the chorus that I just really, really, really like. And I was not disappointed. Even now as I'm writing this and listening to the song I have to stop from time to time just to savor the song. Yes, it's that song for me.

This is sort of at a faster pace compared to 'Weather', with Soyeon almost rap-singing the whole time. It reminds me of her earlier songs 'Smile' and 'Day of a kid' from Unpretty Rapstar. It has some guitar in the background that is really nice as well.

There are some beautiful vocals in this song too. I had heard the live version of this song when Soyeon sang it during Miyeon's radio show on Naver called 'Gossip IDLE' and it was amazing to listen to. Soyeon is such a strong and stable vocalist that I think it would honestly surprise new fans that she isn't a lead or main vocalist.

The build up towards the chorus is signature Soyeon in my opinion, and it works every time. I like it, I like it a lot.

Don't even get me started with the lyrics. In my opinion, out of the whole album, 'Quit' has the most interesting lyrics. Soyeon had mentioned in an interview that this song is what she imagines someone else would sing to her or about her after a breakup. After reading these lyrics it makes total sense:

Thank you for crying, even if it's the end Now write songs for me, whatever This breakup must hurt you too

Implying that Soyeon would be the one writing songs for the person after the breakup. I just think it's brilliant.

The bridge after the last chorus is just *chefs kiss*. She changed up the beat a little and removed some of the instruments, which will make you feel like it's a different song completely, but after a few listens I came to absolutely love that last bridge. I love this song. 10/10.

#4 Psycho

Before the release of Windy, Soyeon described 'Psycho' as a sound she hasn't shown Neverland before, a different (new) side of her. That's exactly how I would describe this song too. It's haunting and dark. It almost has a Billie Eilish-esque quality to it, but spicier.

Did you get what kind of bitch I am? I like things that are harder than what I can have Whether it’s money or love, in front of me I make it kneel before me and I get excited about it

I think this song shows a little of what Soyeon is like when she's feeling a little mischievous and competitive. I already know as a fan that she likes to push boundaries, likes to make music that's better than what she's done previously, and isn't afraid to call people out for what she thinks are injustices. In her 'Lion' rap verse, she basically tells us as much:

I'll bite off your useless courtesy We tear down your suffocating prejudice Who would dare to stop me Careful with my sharp claws I create a new path no one has attempted before All those condescending people will click their tongues But the applause I receive after breaking that prejudice is thrilling I've had a taste, now I can't deny it I'm a queen

Which is why I love Soyeon so much. I think 'Psycho' is just the tip of the iceberg. I hope 'Psycho' is just the tip of the iceberg. I would really like to listen to more of this type of music from Soyeon.

Soyeon also achieves a new personal record with 'Psycho', with her rap verse becoming her 2nd fastest rap in her career (barring the 8-second constant).

Overall this song was interesting and enjoyable. 9/10.

#5 Is this bad b****** number? (feat. BIBI and Lee Young Ji)

This is the collaboration of the century. Lee Young Ji is one of my favorite rappers outside of K-Pop, so I was really excited to see her feature in one of Soyeon's songs (she was also in 'BEAM BEAM' music video). I've heard of BIBI before, but I hadn't listened to her songs prior to this. She's pretty famous in the K-Music scene as well.

ITBBN has an addicting dial tone sample to it and a bass-heavy beat that just tells you it's about to go down. K-Rap fans love this track, and for good reason. Lee Young Ji is amazing as usual, and BIBI with her signature laid-back rap-singing, and of course Soyeon. It was actually surprising, because Soyeon changes up the beat completely for her rap verse. It reminds me of 'Giants' by True Damage, where she also rapped as the League of Legends character Akali.

Soyeon of course breaks another personal record in this song, with her rap verse becoming her fastest rap in her career thus far (barring the 8-second constant). And her rap verse says it all:

Oh, why did I make a phone call elsewhere when I'm here? This crazy good song and an ocean of money Burning on stage, beauty is a bonus Everyone knows, in this new generation Who the leading idol rapper is, if it's king or queen or whoever it is That's not breezy, she's so Windy Oh my God, she just lights a fire and wipes it off Oh no, ew, push-off From outdated junk To ancient filth: fuck it Ring ding bring No entry except for invited Bibi and Youngji Generation Z's bad bish You probably hate us more and more But you can't help but just want to be a part of it Even by using money Right?

This is a 9/10 for me.

#letters-from-r #letters from r #windy #jeon soyeon #album review

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purplesurveys · 3 years

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1252

A - Appearance.

What are you wearing? I have a gray turtleneck and brown shorts at the moment.

What are on your feet right now? I never wear anything for my feet when I’m at home.

What color are your fingernails? I say this a lot on surveys but mine are never painted. Nothing against them, I’ve just never felt the need to spend on something like my nails.

What does your hair look like right now? I have apple hair at the moment to temporarily get rid of my bangs, which I am more than sick of at this point.

B - Best Friend

Who is your best friend? Angela and Andi.

What was the last thing you two did together? The last time I saw Angela we went to the BTS pop-up store. I haven’t seen Andi since January, but when we hung out that evening we just had Korean barbecue and we also parked somewhere in UP to just talk about life in my car. My breakup had been fresh at the time and back then I just needed someone to whom I could vent.

What is (s)he doing right now? I’m sure Andi’s doing something with Leigh, maybe having a video call or something since I think they tend to have one every evening. I’m not sure what Angela’s up to but considering her replies have been a bit slow tonight, I guess she’s somewhat busy at home.

Are you talking to her/him online right now? Angela just replied to something I sent her around 15 minutes ago but the exchange wasn’t meant to be a full-blown conversation, if that’s what you mean.

C - Crush.

Who is (s)he? Eh, I don’t have a crush these days; too obsessed with work to figure out what I find attractive lmaooooo. I do have a main celebrity crush and I might just cite them instead so that I can at least fill this section out.

What does (s)he look like? Curly hair; mismatched eyes; moles underneath his right eye, on his nose, and on his lower lip, and the widest smile I’ve seen on any person.

What was the last thing you two talked about? He’s a celebrity crush...

Does (s)he make you smile? Yes.

D - Dad

What’s your dad’s name? Edgardo.

What does he do for a living? He’s an executive chef for a luxury liner company. He hasn’t worked in a year and a half due to the pandemic and has stayed in the country this whole time, but we’ve *very* recently been informed that he can go back abroad in around two weeks! Of course it will suck letting go of him again after having him back for such a long time, but I’m just glad the family can finally be on track again, financially speaking. It had been something I’ve been worrying silently about.

What was the last thing you two did together? Had dinner last night, but we did that with the whole family too. We don’t really do things that’s just the two of us.

Do you get along better with him than your mother? Yes.

E - Ebay.

Have you ever bought anything from ebay? No. I’m not sure we have eBay here anyway.

Do you just shop around when you’re online? I don’t really shop ‘around.’ I usually have an idea of what I want to get myself, and it’s just a matter of finding the right shop from which to buy.

Do you know anybody who is addicted to it? I know a couple of co-workers who love shopping, like Gabi.

Have you ever sold anything on it? I’ve never tried selling, but I’m actually in the middle of doing something for the very first time – I’ve decided to get into trading! I got my BTS Butter album yesterday but didn’t get to pull the photocard I was vying for – the pull I got, though, was of the most popular member, which means it would be a very easy trade. I put the trade offer up the other day and I finally got a match yesterday.

F - Facebook.

When was the last time you logged on? Like five minutes ago. I constantly check it.

How many friends do you have? Just checked and it says I have 686. I wanna get rid like half of them though.

Do you hate when your facebook chat messes up? Hmm, that doesn’t really happen.

Who was the last person to leave you a wall post? Angela.

G - Google.

Do you Google everything? Yeah, I think I look up a random item or phrase at least once a day. Doesn’t hurt to learn a new thing each day. :)

What was the last thing you Googled? The K-Pop group g.o.d., since my teacher mentioned them in our Korean lessons earlier.

Would you ever trade Google in for Bing? No, I haven’t used Bing in like 12 years.

What do you Google the most? Synonyms, I think, since I’m constantly writing for work.

H - Hair.

Do you like your hair? It’s a love-hate relationship most days because I hate how thick and frizzy it can be...but I recently had mine trimmed all the way up to my neck and for some reason it’s taken on a wavy form, which I didn’t expect to come out at all. And I’ve found that it actually suits me quite a bit, so I’m enjoying my hair for now.

What color is your hair? Black.

What does it look like right now? Slightly damp since I took a shower not too long ago.

What kind of shampoo for you use? Just a normal Dove one.

I - Ibuprofen

When was the last time you took ibuprofen? I don’t think I’ve ever taken it? I usually take paracetamol...idrk the difference either. Do you rely on it for everything (cramps, headache)? I only ever take medicine for headaches/migraines.

Are you so thankful people made it? I mean sure, I’m glad there are those who have been able to create products that can instantly relieve pain or discomfort, but I’m not obsessively grateful.

Do you have any right now? I don’t think we have any.

J - Jobs.

Do you need a job? Nah, I already have one.

Where do you work? Media/PR industry.

Where would you work? I wouldn’t change jobs/industries. This is where I wanted to end up in, and I’m really really glad and fortunate to have landed here on my first shot, right out of college, and during a pendemic.

How much money would you like to get paid? An additional P5k (~$100) would probably be more satisfying, but considering my parents aren’t the traditional Filipino parents who suck 100% of my earnings right out of me the second payday comes, I’m able to enjoy a substantial chunk of money to myself, give them a portion of my earnings, and still be able to save.

K - Kissing.

Who was the last person you kissed? That would be my ex.

Will you next kiss be a mistake? I have no idea when that would be and with whom it will be shared, so I won’t be able to give you a definite answer.

Do you kiss someone everyday? Other than my dogs, nah.

Who was your first kiss? The aforementioned ex.

L - Love.

Who do you love the most in your life? My best friends. I’m also doing a whole lot better in the self-love department these days, so that too :)

Have you ever been in love before? Yeah.

Does it make you so happy when you feel the feeling of love? Sure. It feels light and comfortable, especially when it’s shared.

Why is this word so hard to describe? Because everyone feels love differently. < There we go.

M - Mom.

What is your mom’s name? Abigail.

What is she doing right now? She was watching The Good Doctor the last time I checked on her like five minutes ago. It’s her latest obsession.

Where does she work? She works in the food and beverage department of a 5-star hotel in the city.

Do you two shop together a lot? I rarely do my shopping with either of my parents.

N - Netflix.

Do you have Netflix? Technically, I guess. My dad pays for it and we have a family account.

If not, what movies would you order? I don’t think I’ve ever ordered a movie before. Before streaming on Netflix, I just used to get illegal torrents lol.

Do you rent a lot of movies? I’ve never rented a movie. Was too young for it, I think.

Do you have the tool where it just downloads to your tv? No.

O - Ohio.

Is this the state in which you live in? I don’t even live in the US. Never been there either. < Same.

Is Ohio State your favorite football team? I don’t like football.

Did you know Ohio Is For Lovers? I’m not familiar.

Have you ever been to Ohio? See first answer in this section.

Q - Quitting.

What was the last thing you quit doing? Practicing on Duolingo. I had an extremely short period of using the app again a couple of months ago, but I lasted all of two days hahaha I had been trying to get back on learning Korean, but I enrolled in official lessons not long after that anyway so it didn’t make sense to continue the stages in the app.

Do you need to quit talking to someone right now? Nope. The people I’m talking to right now in between this survey are all welcome conversations.

Would you ever quit school? That wasn’t an option for me and I never would’ve done it anyway.

Don’t you think quitting is stupid? No. Sometimes it can be the strongest thing you can do for yourself.

R - Reading.

What was the last book you read? Does my Korean lesson textbook count hahaha...if not, I haven’t really read anything in years.

Do you own a lot of books? I do, but they are all books from my childhood and teenage years. It’s been a while since I last updated my bookshelf.

Do you have a library card? No, haven’t had one since Grade 1.

Have you ever read a book that changed your life? Without Seeing the Dawn was pretty influential to me, but I dunno about ‘life-changing.’ I need to read more to find the book that would have that effect on me.

S - Safety.

Do you always wear your seat belt? I do these days. I didn’t really practice it when I used to drive to school, whoops. Always forgot to do it.

When riding a four-wheeler do you wear a helmet? I rarely get to do that.

Did you ever wear knee pads and a helmet when riding your bike? Nah. I can’t ride a bike either. Do you always think safety first? In COVID terms, yeah. I have a face mask and shield on as soon as I find myself outdoors.

T - Talk

Who was the last person you talked to? Reena. Who are you talking to right now? Nobody. It’s just me, this survey, and some music in the background.

Who did you last talk to before you went to bed last night? Angela and Reena, if I’m not mistaken.

Do you need to talk to anybody right now? No, I’m good.

U - US ARMY

Do you support it? I don’t know enough about it to have a bold opinion, considering I’m not even from the US and it’s been a while since their army has had any strong contact with my country.

Do you know anybody who is in the army right now? I think one of Angela’s uncles has a high position in our national army.

Don’t you ever wonder why their camo doesn’t match anything? Not really.

Would you ever go to the army? No.

V - Virgin.

Are you a virgin? Nope.

When did you lose your virginity? I was 18.

Do you wish you would’ve waited? Nah, it felt right when I did it the first time; and I maintain that stance now even though I’m no longer with that person.

Do you think you could have stayed a virgin until marriage? I could. Sex isn’t a big deal to me.

W - What.

What are you doing right now besides this survey? I’m also listening to mono. and taking bites from my doughnut every now and then.

What are you craving? Spicy tuna salad, but it can wait. Andi got me my favorite truffle baked macaroni because it’s CM Punk day today :D :D and that’s able to satisfy my savory cravings for now.

What do you need to buy? Shelves.

Why are you taking my survey? I’ve mentioned this before but I like categorized/themed surveys, so alphabetical ones are always fun for me.

X -Xanax

Do you know anybody who is addicted to Xanax? I don’t think so.

Have you ever taken it before? No.

Do you even know what it is? No, actually.

Have you ever suffered from anxiety or depression? I’m sure I have.

Y - Yourself.

Name. Robyn.

Age. 23.

Do you smile a lot? Sure, I’d say that’s common these days.

Z - Zebra.

Are you addicted to zebra striped? Not really.

Do you own anything zebra striped? Nah. I have some stuff that come in black and white stripes, but not zebra print. Is anything on any of your websites zebra striped? No.

#survey #surveys

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