#but also i'm right and you're hot as hell and have a killer personality

[goingmerryfics]

Can you write sth with Kid and Law where the reader tells them she's pregnant and wants to keep the baby ❤️🥺

Breaking the news w/ Kid & Law

Content: No gendered pronouns, but reader is pregnant and therefore AFAB, mentions of a sex life of course. Hints at abortion.

Notes* Absolutely I can! If there’s one thing I’m weak for, it’s good dads. So here you go!

Kid

Kid doesn't notice your weight gain at all. But if there's one thing here loves, it's a good meal

So when he sees you picking at your plate the first time, he jokes that he'll rest your share of you don't want it

He didn't expect you to actually give it to him though

The morning sickness also comes quickly, and he makes a comment about how if you're getting sick to stay the hell away

The poor eating continues, and now he's concerned

How are you supposed to be able to keep up and fight if you won't eat?

He catches you in private and asks what's going on with you, but you don't even really know

He sends you to get a check up, which you were already planning on doing

After some questioning, you were asked to take a pregnancy test

You didn't believe them when they said it was positive. You're handed the physical evidence, and then asked what your next step will be

You aren't sure what they mean, so they give you the option: keep it or not

It's something you have to sleep on. The ship isn't a safe place for baby or a pregnant person in your opinion, and not to mention the elephant in the room

Kid? The hot headed Captain, with a kid??

If it were only up to you, you know what you would do. But this is going to require a conversation with him

You're terrified

What if he gets upset? What if he refuses to help you? What if he kicks you off the ship?

You can't face him with all of this anxiety, so you start to avoid him

Wanting to know how your appointment went though, he doesn't appreciate that

You dance around him on the ship. You know his route, and he knows that you know it, so he's really annoyed with the fact that he can't fucking find you

He lets himself into your shared room and does a quick look for you

He spots the pregnancy test on the dresser, picks it up, and stares

You eventually return to your room and he's still there, sitting on the side of your bed and holding it

You slowly move to sit next to him, and it's quiet until he speaks

“So… What do you wanna do about this?”

You've never heard him so… Calm

You take a deep breath and tell him you're keeping the baby, and there's a splash of silence again before he mutters,

“I'm going to be a dad.”

When you look at him, he's smiling at you

You smile back as the tension disappears from your body

Kid is great at taking care of you- he'll get the kitchen to make anything you want, whenever you want it. He makes sure to keep everyone reminded that you can't be involved in any rough housing

But he also keeps forgetting that you can't do certain things

Killer, Heat, and Wire remind him all the time how you can't lift anything heavy, or join in on any fights

It's kind of funny watching Kid blank like that

When you get too big to get your shoes on properly, he can't help but laugh and even more so at your pouting 

He still helps you, though

He also had no idea how haywire your emotions were going to get, and that part confused the hell out of him

One minute you're happy, next you're pissed at him for something. An hour later and you've forgotten your anger and now you're horny

It's hard to keep up with but he tries to keep his cool with it. He knows it's not your fault, or how you would usually act

He's tense about being a good enough dad until you explain to him that it's just like being a Captain but with less yelling, maybe

The day the baby comes he's out in the middle of a fight, and he has to rush back and ignore the opposition calling him a coward so he can be with you

He bursts in just moments before the baby arrives

He's starstruck at your little one, and one look into their tiny face tells him that this was the right thing to do

Law

He noticed before even you that you seemed to be… Off

The first thing he'd seen change was your weight, but like hell was he going to comment on that

It was hard to miss even the subtle extra tummy with your active sex life 

It didn't matter if you put on a little weight, as long as you were healthy and happy in your body

Your eating habits began to change next, and Law started to keep a close eye on the fact that some foods that you used to love were now never on your plate

Silent observation this entire time

Then you started waking up sick, and he decided he needed to perform a check up on you

You refused, insisting you must've just eaten something bad

So Law takes it into his own hands to check the pantry storage and make sure nothing is rotten or cross contaminated

As he's doing that, a thought pops into your head

Could it be…?

Not wanting to send Law into a panic if it wasn't the case, you decided to take the pregnancy test yourself

You almost passed out seeing the two blue lines

But your decision was an easy one to make. You loved Law, and for you, this was unquestionably the only way you wanted to go about things

You were going to have a baby

When Law returns to you, he finds you teary eyed, starting at a positive pregnancy test

Why hasn't he thought of that first?

His first emotion is panic.

“What if they're born with White Lead? What if we can't protect them on the sea? What if-”

You hush him, assuring him that it's all going to be ok

As he starts to calm, her also starts to get teary eyed

The thought of having a family again… It's too much for him

Memories of his own family flood back

He wishes he could have introduced you to his parents, his sister

To Corazon

You hold him and he holds you, promising his life to protect you both through mixed emotional sobs

Through the pregnancy, he keeps that promise and then some

He's very doting; taking charge of all your appointments, keeping you away from any heavy work, and trying to help you with your now very specific appetite

He gets you to take prenatal vitamins just to be safe

The crew is amazing with their help, too. They're so excited to have a new addition, and you get practical gifts from them often

A baby sized boiler suit to match the others, a very poorly built crib that you will not be using

They tried, that's what counts

Law is giving his crew orders when you feel the first kick, and you immediately interrupt him to tell him that

Everybody now forgets their orders, wanting a turn to feel it. Law has to shout at them to get their hands off of you

When the delivery day comes, Law is right there with his hand picked team for assistance

Everything goes smoothly, and the two of you end up in tears as you hear the crying of your new little family member

#one piece #harleywritesop #hwop #eustass kid #eustass captain kidd #eustass x reader #eustasscaptainkid #one piece eustass #kid one piece #kid x reader #one piece kid #law x reader #trafalgar d law x reader #op law #law one piece #trafalgar law

[forgeofthenine]

Random NSFW headcanons about Zevlor

I was trying to work today and all I could think about was this man and what he's like in bed, so now I'm sharing it with everyone else. I have more headcanons about both him and Dammon if people want them.

General NSFW under the cut, all of its pretty tame but let me know if I need to put up a content warning

So, to start off with, no one out there not even Larian can convince me that Zevlor doesn't have experience. This man is at least twice my age and quite literally hot as hell. Unfortunately though, during and after the fall of Elturel into Avernus, I just don't think Zevlors even had time to think about personal pleasures like that. It's hard to get laid when your group of refugees keep trying to win a speedrun of the fastest ways to die in Faerun.

It might take a while to finally bed this man, but when you do it's well worth the effort. Zevlor is such a gentle lover in all respects, including sex, and he always makes your pleasure a priority. He's the kind of guy to forget all about himself because he's so focused on trying to get you off.

As for kinks, body worship is a big one. He loves to worship your body, no matter how you look. It's all soft kisses and gentle caresses over any skin that's revealed to him. The little murmurs of praise muffled against you are so precious, and darling Zevlor will spend hours reminding you what you mean to him if you don't stop him sooner.

Worship him too, let him know how much you love his body. It's so worth it. Tell Zevlor how strong he is, how much you appreciate the way he protects you, call this man handsome. The way his brow furrows at first before he melts under your combined words and touch is a sight to see. Kissing over each and every infernal ridge and bump he has while saying this is a sure way to bring Zevlor right to the edge.

Speaking of his infernal traits, I can see him worrying somewhat if his partner isn't also a tiefling, for the first time at least. Mostly because those infernal traits definitely spread to tieflings dicks too-

Zevlors not small by any means, he's particularly girthy and anyone would need a bit of prep and warming up before they take him, but the best part are the ridges. You know how some sex toys advertise themselves as 'ribbed for her pleasure' and such? They're just describing Zevlors cock. Like all male tieflings, the entire length has small but noticeable ridges and bumps, and the head seems to come to a slightly more tapered tip than usual.

Despite how he warns you that his stamina isn't what it used to be, don't be fooled, Zevlor will happily fuck you until you both see stars.

Afterwards, when you're all tired and happy while lying against his chest, is one of the only times you'll hear him purr. It's such a deep, low baritone you feel it more than you hear it, but it's there nonetheless. That, mixed with his fingers brushing up and down your bare skin, is a sure fire recipe for sleep.

Overall, Zevlor is one of the best lovers out there. Attentive, sweet, and with killer anatomy, who could pass up such a catch? I'd literally kill for this man-

#bg3 smut #baldurs gate 3 smut #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 zevlor #baldurs gate 3 zevlor #zevlor x reader #zevlor x tav #zevlor x you #bg3 x reader smut #bg3 x reader #baldurs gate 3 x reader

[3mcwriting]

Regret, Part 1: Broken Promises

A/N: In this AU Steve is lead singer of the band, the Avengers. You (the reader) are his girlfriend, and you have been his girlfriend since before he got famous. Also, this reader drinks alcohol so I apologize if you don't.

Warnings: implied smut (nothing descriptive), language, cheating, angst, alcohol consumption, and Steve Rogers being a complete idiot

Regret Masterlist

"Hey Steve, I was thinking we should order a-" you stopped, noticing the pair of heels that definitely weren't yours thrown on the floor.

Ok well maybe Nat came over? You reasoned, knowing that your best friend who was the most awesome friend ever, would never even think of hurting you.

Calm down (y/n) you're probably just overreacting.

But then you heard it.

The groans, the voice pleading, "Don't stop Steve, I'm almost there."

And you stepped into the room.

Only to see your boyfriend of 3 years with his face in between the legs of a woman who you had trusted.

Sharon.

Fucking.

Carter.

The woman you'd been friends with for 2 years, the woman who once told you that she was disgusted by cheaters.

Well, obviously that changed, because she was right there.

Her eyes shut as his face moved, gripping his hair and pulling. And Steve groaning, with his mouth still on her.

"What the fuck."

Sharon's eyes snapped open, Steve abruptly stopping as they both turned to stare at you.

"Don't-fucking-worry," you told them, lip curling in disgust. "I'll be gone soon, I just gotta pack and you can get back to your....activities."

Steve stepped away from Sharon. "Why are you packing?"

You snorted. "Look at the woman on our bed, why the hell do you think I'm packing?" You stuffed your clothes into a bag, too angry to look at the two people who had betrayed your trust.

"Calm down, don't pack," Steve said, voice annoyingly placating. "Sharon was just leaving."

Sharon nodded, running out of the room with her clothes.

Don't forget your clothes, you fucking asshole!" you called out, only to hear your apartment door open and shut. You turned to Steve. "Oh, well that makes it all better," you told him sarcastically, hoisting your duffel bag over your shoulder.

"Why are you so pissed? She's gone so why are you still fucking packing?" He asked, voice rising.

"Don't you dare raise your voice at me!" Your face went hot with rage at his angry tone. "You're not the one who got fucking cheated on by the person you've been with for 3 years! You have no fucking right to be angry! You know what?! Get out! I bought this apartment! So get the fuck out!"

He clenched his jaw, voice low. "I know you don't mean that. Wait until you calm down, we have to talk and I know you don't want to break up with me."

"Oh, eat shit, Rogers. Get the fuck out of my apartment."

"You don't know what you're saying, but I'll go because I know you'll be begging me to come back tomorrow," he declared.

"Don't come back."

You tore the sheets from your bed once he was gone, showing them into a trash bag because you knew that you sure as shit were never using those again.

"Nat, get over here and bring the booze and the ice cream," you said into your phone.

"On it."

•••••

"What an asshole! That motherfucker better not come back or I'll beat the shit out of him!" Natasha slurred, the half drunk bottle of tequila next to her.

You picked it up, taking a swig. "I know! I hate him so much! You know I was sooooooo stupid I fell in love with him," you told her with a hiccup. You picked at your fingers dazedly. "Why did he do it? He's such a piece of shit and I hate him."

"Don't worry, you'll find some hot as fuck man with a fine ass and killer abs. And hey! Chin up! You're a badass bitch who is a complete queen! And you have the most amazing best friend ever!" She cheered, making you giggle.

~~

"Ow, shit," you muttered, rubbing your throbbing head. "How much did we drink last night?"

"I think we downed the whole bottle," Nat groaned out, her hand shielding her eyes. "Why is it so bright?"

~~

The next day, (once you'd gotten rid of your hangover) you packed up Steve's things.

As you stood there with your hands on your hips, surveying your now much emptier apartment, memories of you and Steve flashed through your min. Cuddling on the couch while watching movies together. Him cooking you breakfast on the weekends.

Memories that would never be repeated.

You picked up your phone, dialing Steve.

He picked up on the first ring, "I knew you couldn't last long without-"

"Get over here," you told him, promptly hanging up the phone. You stacked all the boxes and put them near the door. You rubbed your neck, fingers brushing the fine chain hanging there. You went in front of a mirror, looking at the small heart pendant that rested over your chest.

You took it off, eyes locked on the small rose engraved on the heart.

A memory of him telling you, "You're my rose, and you'll always be in my heart," as he handed it to you bashfully.

The skinny boy from Brooklyn who loved art and singing songs to you when you were sad. The person who always stood up for what was right, always believed in the good in people.

The boy you fell in love with.

You sighed, wiping the tears from your eyes.

He doesn't deserve your tears.

You took a deep breath, wiping your eyes to make sure they weren't wet when there was a knock on the door.

You briskly walked to the door and opened it, knowing full well who stood just outside.

"Babe-"

You cut him off, "Here's your stuff and make sure you grab everything because you are not welcome to come back."

He protested, "this is our apartment-"

"No, it isn't. I own it." Your voice began to rise. "Now hurry up and pack then get out of here."

"Please, babe, I love you. Don't do this."

You looked at him with disgust.

How did the kindest person you'd ever met become like this?

"You should've thought about that 'love' before you stuck your face between Sharon's legs."

Half an hour later he had packed up all his stuff.

"Oh, Steve before you go, here," you told him, tossing him the necklace that you had never taken off until that very day.

He paled. "What are you doing? You promised you'd always wear that."

"And you promised you'd always treat me right. Guess we're both breaking promises now."

#steve rodgers x reader #chris evans x reader #mcu x reader #marvel x reader #cheater!steve rodgers x reader #reader insert #pietro maximoff x reader #natasha romanoff

[ashes-writing]

Headcanons on being Billy Loomis's girlfriend and becoming a killer with him?

This was a greatly appreciated challenge, okay? I literally jumped at this one. Having said this, I preface with a strong word of caution.. I took a darker and more realistic approach. I hope that's alright. I thank you for the ask because this... it helped me step outside of my lil comfort zone of smut, angst and romance only and I've been trying to work up the nerve for some time now.

Fun fact... as I wrote the last bit of this headcanon list out, Runnin Up That Hill came on Spotify and I feel like it fit with reader's mindset all things considered.

Tag List ; @schizoauthoress - be warned.. this is dark. do not read if you feel like you're not up to it, bb. This goes for anyone, tagged or stumbled upon by chance.. Read all the warnings. Please. I don't wanna do any sort of harm or anything. the above person is the only one present on my horror movie tags, btw. If you'd like to be added, the link is below.

Other Stuff ; tag list doc || my rules - fandoms and some of the characters I write for || requests open, any and all fandoms / characters listed are fair game just not pro wrestling at the moment.

I do not consent to having my work reposted elsewhere. Or having it reworded and reposted here.

Minors, dni. Absofuckinlutely not. This one is not sexual in nature but.. It's a dead dove / don't eat type thing. The actions detailed vaguely within this are not suitable for you and I do not endorse or agree with them.. If you've a strong aversion to blood mentions, kissing,  violence and murder mentions, death of a character , killing sprees, an attempt at writing realistic reprecussions for violent crimes by someone who is not in the field of law enforcement, psychiatry or anything of that nature so yeah.. might be a shade inaccurate and for that i'm also sorry. I tried... It's just a good idea all around to skip this is the darkness and anything other than a happy ending by normal terms is less than appealing, alright? Because there are consequences for actions and those are heavily implied here.

✯ It happened by accident. You didn’t set out to kill the person you had to kill and you damn sure didn’t plan to have Billy Loomis somehow stumble upon the entire thing as it unfolded, either… You had your back against a wall literally. The only way out of the situation was outcrazy the other person. The last person you expected to help you was Billy Loomis. But he did. And the help you got in ridding yourself of a long running problem in your life came with the small price of having Billy bound to you. Billy Loomis holding something over your head other than the crush he knew you had on him and taunted you with the very night he helped you burn the body after sneaking into the crematorium in town. But he promised that the person he’d helped you get rid of wouldn’t ever hurt you again and he meant it, sealing it with a kiss and a blood pact. His word was his bond.

✯ You thought you’d feel remorse. You did at first, but then the euphoria took over. The sheer relief at having finally handled a long running problem in your life awakened something dark inside you. The way it felt to know someone absolutely fucking vile took their last breath at your hand. A horrible person was gone and couldn’t hurt anybody anymore because of you. Billy killed for the hell of it. For you, it’s more of a ridding society of it’s disgusting blights. You tend to go after the people who hurt others, who do unspeakable things and yet somehow continue to dodge proper punishment. And this makes Billy so goddamn hot. There’s just something about your righteous indignation and the way you handle it that makes him fall and he falls hard.

✯ It doesn’t take long for you to get antsy. There’s so much more to be done. The desire to do something, to right abhorrent wrongs.. And Billy just wants another kill and he’ll take it any way he can get it. You’re his girl now and you have been for a while by this point so.., if you want something, he’ll move mountains to give it to you. If this means the waters run red with somebody’s blood or walls are painted with it, so be it. The two of you think you’re in the clear and the search begins for another target, somebody, anybody to sate your combined bloodlust but just as you’re closing in on one, law enforcement closes in on him. They believe you’re just a hostage, collateral damage from the murder of the person you actually murdered. Not Billy, you.

✯ You discuss it and you agree that somewhere south of the border. Or somewhere far outside of the US with very lengthy extradition laws and a lot of red tape is your best bet and on your way to escape, a cross country killing spree begins. It’s tricky at first because you have to change your MO completely and this is when Billy, a heat of the moment, stone cold crazy blitz killer truly shines. And you’re there, by his side, helping him dispose of the aftermath every step of the way.

✯ The end is bloody. Violent. And you’re ripped apart from him with such brutal finality. Watching him die in front of your eyes shatters you. You pick up the gun he dropped and you unload it. Round after round and your mind just goes black. When you come around a little later, you find yourself in a cell. With a straight jacket your only company. But you know there’s one surefire way to reunite so maybe that’s why when the public defender shows up to appeal to you to take an insanity plea on the grounds of Stockholm Syndrome, you adamantly refuse. You go even further and you do the one thing you can do for the man you loved in clearing his name of at least one wrong he’d been accused of. You give a confession, in full. The insanity plea you were offered disappears and now it’s down to the choice between life in prison or the death sentence. And maybe, to an extent, they’re right, you are insane. But as soon as you pick the death sentence and seal your own fate, you can hear him. “Atta girl. Come home to daddy, sweetheart.” and you smile the entire long walk down to the execution chamber. You take your last breath knowing that Billy’s waiting for you. Probably impatient, probably bitching because it took too long and the plan was never for the truth to come out in the first place, but… He’s waiting. And soon you’ll be reunited.

#billy loomis #billy loomis x fem!reader #billy loomis x fem! reader fanfiction #billy loomis fanfiction #// minors dni #// dark themes ahead. please for the love of god read the warnings below the big flashing gif loves. #// bc tumblr won't allow me to post with them done out in the hashtags this time I've tried twice.

[shikadainara]

You are right the ostrich episode was legendary. This is a silly thing, but they need to bring back Gamatasu. I miss him so much. We never got to see him grown up. I wish we had moments with other families. They could honestly use this time to fill us in on the blank period. I loved the filler episodes during the journey Naruto takes to see Killer B. Those filler were funny.

YES OMG THE NOVELS !! But I’m scared at the same time because Naruto was never famous for romance & if they butcher some of the key moments I will be livid ,so maybe it’s better if they never come out. We are talking about the franchise that killed Neji to bring Naruto & Hinata closer (even though they lack chemistry). This may be controversial,but I don’t think Sasuke like Sakura. To be honest I feel like Naruto & Sasuke were gay lol. - 🦑

ABSOLUTELY thank you for agreeing. that does sound like a cute idea i do love the toads!! while vaguely on the subject. kamatari episode when. i've been wondering honestly since shippuden ended, are they going to go back to the blank period.....? they could always do so anytime i guess i don't think there's anything stopping them, not sure if they'd want to though...... like fucking hell NO ONE in this series talks to their loved ones about anything. you could just have someone talk about "wow this is just like when ___" as an excuse to then have a 5 episode+ filler arc or something! anything! i guess they just don't want to do that...???

yeah like i've already bitched endlessly about how they fucked up shikamaru hiden so badly to the point where they literally Missed The Entire Point Of The Novel. but! i digress!!!

oh you're absolutely not alone have you ever looked at the shipping confession blog LOL s*sus*ku is incredibly hated within the fandom.... and to be entirely blunt! if you're lgbt you're just going to naturally attract other lgbt people into your friend group, and i think it's incredibly rare to find people that fall under that category and also think the ship is anything but utter garbage lmfao. like i'm kind of surprised this blog has a few hundred followers but i haven't really had any issue, i just sorta somehow naturally attracted that many people that feel similar about my ninja manga opinions lol. and i feel like most specifically a lot of people that are also bisexual just like me

as for sns... EHHH if you want to ask me personally i have mixed feelings. do i think they're gay? yes. do i think the ship has a myriad of problems? also yes. (mostly re: the whole "i'll drag you back to konoha even if i have to break every bone in your body" thing... umm.. YIKES....) sometimes i want to call them "wow it's the most iconic love story of our generation" etc etc but i also simply feel "....????" towards them. (also my hot take is that they're not even my favorite fictional sun/moon dynamic haha whoops)

[captorsicallfriends]

Right so pretty much-

It was a lovely day. The sun was shining. Birds were chirping. Mosquitos were having an orgy on every available surface. And my friend and I were enjoying our ice creams we bought from the school tuckshop. Could this day truly get any better? Oh goodness, how convenient, a group of teenage boys have come to enjoy the day with us! "Hello divine creatures of the earth, what questions are you pondering on this beautiful day? I'm so grateful to walk and share the land with which we exist, god, what a blissful morni-" "oi ya friend's got a fat arse innit bruv?" Oh.... Oh I see....... Yes.... Good morning to you too, holy blessing of which I exist in the vicinity of. God fucking damn it I hate this school. Also why are you British all of a sudden we're in the middle of the Australian summer where are you boys coming from I swear you had an Aussie accent the other day now all your friends are turning British which is arguably the worst philosophy you can choose like what So anyway my friend just so happened to hear this which must have been a massive mood booster I'm sure 🙄 but I said to her "dearest friend of mine do you give consent for me to drag this fucknugget to hell and trudge him back a tarnished rag of sweat and entrails?" And she was like "yea sure idc go wild" and like. You know when you're dog is a fucking crack addict and probable serial killer and you throw him stuffed toys on occasion to watch him rip it to shreds while foaming at the mouth with the spirit of Satan and all 10 deadly sins (greed, lust, pride, envy, gluttony, sloth, wrath, advertising, police officer, and Sagittarius btw if U even care) ripping through his eyeballs and turning them to lasers while he tears through the suffie's throat and lights it on fire, which is of course a normal human experience shared throughout humans which I am. I am a normal human and have normal human life experiences. I can be trusted with the bouncy rubber balls because I am normal. A normal human who has not eaten half of one as a dare in primary school and had to sit in the nurse's office for 2 hours. I would not do that because I am normal. Ok good? Okay. So yeah that was gonna be me with this poor fucker in a second. So there I was: storming over there faster than the white ladies at the McDonald's storm over to the manager's office. I didn't know what I was gonna do once I got to this kid but it wasn't gonna be glamorous. And as I got closer I realised that my 5'1 ass probably didn't stand a chance against a kid who looks like he does hard drugs and is willingly on a sports team. Fuck. But oh ho ho what do we have here,,, it seems a rather large and pointed stick is conveniently lying on the ground in my general direction. Excellent. I'll spare you the details Diya but what I will say is there was a lot of "holy shit this bitch fuckin' mental ay G" and "god damn bruv calm down you on ya period ay dog" and a distinct lack of "wow that person sure looks hot chasing that frat boy around the school oval with a stick while reciting the communist manifesto and spitting on his shoes I wonder if they'd like to get tea with me and maybe kiss a bit idk" honestly Diya the things I'm robbed of. But anyway once I was done torturing disciplining this child I went over to the only other frat boy who remained and threatened to snitch on him to his mum if he watched shit like that happen again and did nothing. Saving humanity one girlboss at a time ig ✌️✨ but yeah don't do crack kids or do idk none of my business if you need a dealer my dog's been living with me for ages I'd appreciate if he'd get off his arse and get some money or something but yeah U didn't hear it from me (you can find me in the nearest sewer btw bring cookies) yeah okay peace love U baaiiiiii 💖💖💖

things like these are precisely the reason your alias is insane anon.

#diya answers #aight baking you some cookies to bring #anyway which sewer hole should i drop them off at #anon

[themiracleofteddybearmanifestos]

Enchanté The Series - commentary (spoilers!)

For context, this is from a couple months ago when I watched the show. It's basically just my commentary as I watched the show so it's a huge mess and has a lot of ups and downs but I figured I'd post it anyways. I didn't edit it so it's just my original commentary in it's raw, natural, tumultuous state.

~

Only watched 1 or 2 parts of the first episode so far, but I'm obsessed 

I actually Cried when Theo's grandma died even tho it wasn't some huge buildup or anything??

Also, Akk going to calm down Im on her livestream but getting pissed at the old lady for victim blaming??? "Auntie you cant say things like that. Women can wear whatever they want and men have no right to sexually assault them. Your mindset is a danger to our society" Absolute LEGEND!

Also Akk is Gorgeous oh my godh 

I did get confused and think him and Theo were the same person until I saw them at the same time 🙈🙈

I'm loving the French music mixed in with Thai music. It's really pretty!!! A lot of the music is great.

I also love that baby Theo made self insert comics 😭😭 and made it so the knight saved the prince I guarantee they were in love lcjxjs

I really love this so far.. the characters are fun and no one is really annoying other than Phupha? And Theo is hurting my feelings with how he treats Akk but hopefully he stops that :((

Akk is my absolute favorite which is very impressive considering Gawin is in this show (ig it's different tho

Please, the music is so pretty.

Also I'm obsessed with how beautiful Akk is and his relationship with his sisters is SO cute

Also him shutting down Phupha and being like no fuck off I'll take him home stay here (but still politely lol)

Like Phupha Go Away broski

I'm gonna CRY Akk is so fucking funny 😭😭😭 I cant get over this boy 

YES SAIFA, RESPECTFUL KING!! "You can see he's running away. Are you really gonna chase him?" Fuckin tell him baby 😌😤 

Phupha sir you're a Creep. 

Surprisingly sympathized with Phupha since he's got an alcoholic mother and doesn't have enough money for her treatment since she gambled it all away. That's an extremely stressful situation. He's still creepy and tried to use Theo which isn't okay.

Natee is very pretty and always looks sleepy which is funny (Akk also looks sleepy a lot) he's got that cool guy narcoleptic type vibe

I love Akk, Egg, and Im. They're such a cute little family.

Theo throwin shit on the floor, what the hell?

I forgot what I was gonna saaayy 😭😭😭

Natee looks like Ren from nuest lmao

Everything about this holy shit. I'm so overwhelmed by how good this scene was. The back and forth? The fact that neither of them made it weird? The way Akk is so blatantly in love with Theo? The way he stares at him is SO!! The fact that Theo reciprocated the kiss? I could keep going oh my ghcgcbv their chemistry is killer

this actually made me squeal with excitement that's how good these two are together. I got butterflies man

THE AMOUNT OF TIMES THEY CHICKENED OUT AND THE FACT THAT THEY ACTUALLY DID KISS BY THE END???? DUDE. THIS SHIT IS IMMACULATE. 

I actually can't breathe because of this man. He's unreal. Please. Sir. You're so hot.

DUDE WHEN THEO WAS LIKE "how are my parents so in love lol" AND AKK LOOKED AT HIM WITH ALL THE LOVE THIS WORLD HAS TO OFFER???? HOLY S H I T

Dude Natee's painting was actually sick as hell. It wasn't just a portrait of Theo which is great and also it was just really pretty

I'm obsessed with the fact that Akk brought the rose home and is doting on it and talking to it what a strange boy he's so cute

Theo has BITCHES

Hoes on hoes dude

And they're all left handed, tf??

Natee is Weird for having an entire exhibit of just drawings of Theo wtf dude??

Wtf i cant handle their flirting

I love them so much. The sausage shit was weird, but being in love makes you do weird things Imao

Deadass admitted to always hitting on him and then responds to his French. Akk is killer dude, you can't be sweet and goofy but also warm and serious and gorgeous and a feminist and just?? Such a supportive friend and a caring person.

I'm heated, I love this man

"It's our important witness" BRO AKK IS SO IN LOVE 😭😭 KEPT THE FLOWER CAUSE IT WAS THERE WHEN THEY KISSED??

IM GONNA SCREAM

he's so on love wtf and so is Theo

His description of what Je Te'aime means????? That shit was so sweet. What the heck.

And bruh this man knows French probably bc he's in love with Theo and wanted to learn his language 🙄🙄 

I'm glad they didn't kiss when Akk was drunk! Nice touch. He should be sober for it so there's no way to deflect. Also bc he should be obviously.

Also?? Hes confessed his love like 5 times already dude and Theo hasn't been like "wha?!" Bc he's ALSO in love wtjchvifjd I love them so much

I'm OBSESSED with the fact that Saifa wasn't using Theo or doing anything nefarious from the start. Mfer just was playing cupid 😭😭 also the song was so prettyyyy

The reveal wasn't that great and raised a lot of questions but the YouTube comments did help me a little bc yeah, I was wondering why Theo was so pressed about the flyers Akk was posting everywhere and he did keep repeating that he honestly just wanted to know Why the others were lying

My biggest hang up is just the fact that Akk literally always gave him attention so he didn't really have any reason to do the stunt in the first place? If his reason was just wanting Akk's attention? He had it???

And Akk was SO clearly in love with him, so Theo having been aware that he himself was in love with him too is a little like ?? U wasted yalls time then baby??? But I guess he just wasn't sure and didn't want to assume? 

That's fair, I'm also dumb 😭 I would know someone is in love with me bc they're extremely blatant but I would sike myself out and need them to actually say it

I love Saifa so much and I knew he wasn't using Theo from the start. I'm so happy they didn't make my boy have any bad. He's clean as a whistle. No sins on this boy, he's perfect. I love him so so much.

Akk also. 

I'm not mad at the twist at all honestly, just a teensy bit disappointed lmao but like I said, I just had to think about it. It's not clear cut and at first it's stupid but actually thinking about how people are it makes more sense.

Still weird thing to do Theo fudhsh

Also Natee 😭😭 he knew from the very beginning and was still like lmao ima lie for fun

Saifa also, when he said "this is for people who are in love. Like Theo" I KNEW that boy knew some secrets 😭 I even commented it but I hadn't actually guessed that he knew genuinely that Theo loved Akk.

What a weird unnecessary thing to do but damn Theo I kinda respect it you played us all. I respect that he was like "I'm Bored, time to start some shit" and went with it.

I hope nothing too whack happens 😭😭 Akk is being a little non communicative rn which is frustrating but hopefully it stops before escalating. It could go either way and I hope it's foe the better.

Natee grew on me. He's just kind of got bitch energy and I love that. His buddy who's in love with him? Feel bad for the guy. And the fact that when the boy said he was leaving the club Natee stopped drawing made it seem like he lost his inspiration then :(

JIMMY ???? LMAO DIDNT EXPECT HIM TO BE HERE FHDHS

anyways,

I was wondering where the conflict would come in but knew it was coming since they were happy. I understand both perspectives, but Akk is right that it's not his place to say anything.

And then Theo immediately embracing his guy who has been a looming uncertainty this whole time? I hope it's fully a miscommunication and that Sun isn't his ex or anything but :/

I do see now why Akk had a pained expression when Theo was talking about his parents being in love the whole situation sucks and I wish Theo could've had Akk to be a steady place to lean on in the middle of this, but that wouldn't be enough ~drama~ 🙄😭

MY POOR AKK SEEING HIS BF EMBRACING SOME RANDOM GUY 😭😭😭 

Jimmyyyy sirrr. You're so pretty.

Big fan of his smile :') 

They got Jimmy AND Gawin in here?? Pullin no punches huh? If they'd brought Pond it would be over for me

Also I have trauma with the bridge that they visited 😭 fuck that bridge man, it just makes me think of tonhon chonlatee and I have BEEF

Theo you're making a fool of yourself broski wtf

Akk is a walking green flag as the comment said dude. He said respect your parents decisions

Theo I'm so pressed rn please treat Akk better he deserves the world he's been the very best since literally the first scene he was in

Theo man I was rooting for you that maybe you'd get your dhit together but honestly? What the hell, man. I have so much to say so I'll just leave it that I'm very upset so that I'm not spreading a ton of negativity. Just know that I do have plenty to spread.

I lied.

Nah this shit made me cry. It's so damn frustrating that Akk thinks HE'S the undeserving one. And I know his sister was being caring but her words didn't help because they only reinforced his doubts. But honestly? It's not his job to fix this mess. He's already put forth all the work, and Theo has been ungrateful and self centered. He never truly acknowledged everything that Akk did for him and instead was so damn entitled. He complained so much about things that Akk had been there the whole time trying to fix. It seriously hurts SO much because Akk is TOO selfless. He's so respectful and caring and generous and kind, so Theo took all that for granted. It's like Theo wanted Akk to beg him to stay, but Akk is so damn respectful that of course he wouldn't. He puts Theo first in every facet and what has Theo done for him? I know relationships aren't a transaction and you don't do something just to get something but ALSO relationships go both ways and one person shouldn't be making all the sacrifices. If Theo actually leaves and they do a bullshit timeskip, I'm done. I'd rather see Akk happy on his own than to see them together if Theo refuses to stop being selfish. I don't want some magic fix where he shows up and is like "haha missed you" and doesn't own up to all his shit but I feel like that's inevitable and I'm just going to be disappointed yet again by a show that was my favorite until they pull the most frustrating shit at the last episode.

I'm quite frankly pissed. WHY THE FUCK did Akk have to take responsibility for this shit? No I'm beyond pissed dude. Theo should've had some eye opening moment and ran his ass to Akk and apologized for taking him for granted. Akk has done all the work in this relationship. He deserves so much fucking better, and the fact that instead of apologizing for making him misunderstand Theo just says he's dumb? No, dude. He had every right to assume what he did. He shouldn't have been the one to mend this. Another goddamn selfish character who stays selfish til the end whilst their partner does everything and STILL ends up apologizing. Akk is the healthiest love interest but damn it this is not a healthy relationship and I've honestly not felt more betrayed.

This shit is exactly why I don't call shows my favorite until the last episode, bc they're almost guaranteed to screw things up. And it sucks because I love this show so much. Seriously, easily my top 3 If they hadn't ruined Theo.

Sorry, I really don't mean to be rude, i just love Akk so much and they did him SO fucking dirty 

Yet another "sure the ending is happy, but I certainly am not."  Fuck dude. This shit was easily in my top favorites but they fucked it so hard

I STILL love it though. It had too many good moments for me to fully hate it. The plot twist was dumb though and I was being forgiving because I thought they'd do better but no they made me mad.

I will never shut up about Akk and how much I love him. I've been his #1 supporter and fan since day 1 and I'll die with that title.

#enchante #thai bl #enchante the series #enchante akk #bl series #commentary #episode commentary #enchante spoilers

[xadnem]

I love you all and you're all cute and sexy as hell and I hope you get complimented by strangers in a non-creepy way today.

#i am more drunk than the amount I drank would imply #but also i'm right and you're hot as hell and have a killer personality #i know this implicitly because everyone who I interact with intentionally is excellent and that includes you #yes even you followers who i guess technically i do not actually interact with #you're still great and I still love you #eat your favorite food tomorrow #don't think about diets or whatever #if you read this i want you to eat your favorite food tomorrow and just really savor the taste #you have the whole rest of your life to do things that aren't that #you can afford to enjoy yourself tomorrow #gonna sleep now hopefully #but i love you and i hope you get to go through your day feeling like you've spent the night in the arms of someone who cares about you #i'd hug you myself but distance and boundaries and covid

[runeterrankhaleesi]

hi! can i please get a matchup for league or valorant? i'd like to be matched with a guy, i'm a 5'3 nonbinary person who leans more towards being more masc, and some of my main interests are art and dance. i’m also chinese and trying to relearn some of my heritage/ the language! i would prefer to date someone else who’s also a person of color/not white so we could like share cultures and traditions and just relate to each other more. generally i think i’m a pretty funny person, i have a dry sense of humor usually and i also laugh at a lot of things.

i also have adhd so sometimes i’m all over the place but usually focus my energy on multitasking almost everyday. i’m pretty snarky/sassy and have a lot to say. usually though i go through some depressive episodes since i have bipolar/depression and i also have been through some stuff in the past that was traumatizing/unfair so i’ve been recovering from it for a few years. i would say that i’m pretty hardened by life and i know that life isn’t always fair and it’s just something i’ve come to accept. i think to me it would be super important that my s/o has been through some similar hardships as me, or at least is able to understand what i’m going through and support me especially since in the past i’ve had people do more harm than good.

i guess i would say my type are other people who are also hiding some sadness so we can like, mutually support each other, or people that are like the opposite of me that can lift me up. i can also be a bit impulsive sometimes and outspoken, and i’m also really stubborn and do what i think is the right thing to do. I would say i’m a pretty smart person when it comes to survival or whatever because i’m usually paranoid about things so i just follow my gut instincts. i love animals a lot, especially cats, and i also love spicy food, so much to the point my friends sometimes call me a masochist as a joke lmao. always drenching my food in hot sauce. generally i also am a pretty loud person, i’m clumsy and i bump into things and i have trouble keeping quiet. lastly, i’m also really really affectionate with my s/o, i would cling to them like a koala whenever possible. I looooove physical affection and i’m also touchstarved as HELL. thank you so much for doing this!

[A/N: Hello darling! Me and my matchmaker made your LMMU request for LoL because you gave us so much information that we found that you were perfect for one of the champions so we hope you like this. Thank you!]

I pair you with...

AKSHAN!

Why? Because...

Akshan aims to be "a jack of all trades" so he does everything he can to learn a little bit about everything, and that includes learning about art, dance, culture and etc. He would bring books back home to read during his free time, he'd also bring a couple of books for you if the topic is something you like or it's something he thinks you'll be interested in.

He grew up as an orphan in the streets of Marwi, Shurima. His only family is his late mentor, Shadya. Naturally, he grew curious and went to try and find his parents while looking for the killer of Shadya. It's a shame that he can't tell you anything about his family since all he knew was how to be a sentinel of light. But he would tell you anything about the history, culture, and traditions of Shurima and would bring you to every festival the country holds. You'd exchange jokes and laugh the whole time (Akshan has more of a "bad pun" type of humor).

And just like you, Akshan has gone through quite a lot, especially his near-death experience as a kid. He could never forget that and he could never ever forget how his mentor, Shadya, used the Absolver to resurrect him. Not to mention, the recent events of the Ruination has left him tired, depressed, and scarred. You'd help out each other through the trauma you've felt in your lives and comfort each other through tough times.

Even though you're smart and have great survival insticts, Akshan always makes sure to look out for you. He knows that you can take care of yourself but it wouldn't hurt to be careful, he doesn't want to lose another special person in his life. He's already lost one-his only parent figure-because of a mistake he made.

Since you both like animals, it didn't take long for you two to adopt a pet-a cat. Snuggling and petting the cat after a long day just takes off the stress and weight you've been carrying all day.

He's also a fan of spicy foods. What do you expect, he grew up in Shurima! You'd hold mini competitions and see who has the better and higher spice tolerance. It's funny since both of you are on the same level, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.

Don't worry, he doesn't mind you being loud. He thinks it makes you more fun, friendly, and easy to hang out with. You're not boring like Lucian who's face is always brooding, unless Senna's there.

Definitely calls you "koala bear" because you cling to him like a koala would to a tree. Finds it cute that you can't go on a day without getting a kiss or some type of affection from him. And loves the fact that you welcome him home with open arms. The thought of going home to you is what keeps him going during missions, thinking that it'll all be over soon and he could finally cuddle you and smother you in kisses.

💝~Happy Valentines Day!~💝

[You were matched together by @mellonzinho]

#runeterrankhaleesi #league of legends x reader #lol x reader #lol #league of legends #akshan #LMMU #love month match up

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP meme from Scream Queens Ep 4 "Haunted House" (Note: Offensive content, use at own discretion)

A girl died in this tub.

There's no record of any of these names except for one.

Oh, my god, there's two of them!

I own Halloween. It's my jam.

Halloween is the most important day of the year. It's the one day on the Gregorian calendar where you're allowed to go around terrifying children and not be branded a psychopath.

I am a future network news anchor who's super classy and has almost no fat on her body.

A lot of my fans are, like, friendless dumpy coeds at this or that nursing school in one of this country's various national armpits.

They put down their hot pockets and bask in the warm glow of what it feels like to love me.

I went shopping with my comatose grandmother's credit card and bought presents.

Oh, my god, it says my name!

I hope the severed leg brightens up your trailer park.

You're a bright light in my life, and I wanted you to know how much you impress me with your frumpy spirit.

You are so devastatingly mediocre and adorable!

I can't wait to see you in person, but before that, I'd like to see you post this all over social media, to exploit it for my own gain.

Aah! It's a rotting jack-o'-lantern!

Aah! This box is just filled with blood!

She got me a razor apple!

I stole this cadaver head from an ophthalmology student just for you.

You're the most important person in the world.

So you didn't see anyone in a red devil costume entering or leaving the house?

Are you coming to the precinct pig roast this year?

Come on, she's obviously the killer!

Do you mean to suggest I changed out of my nightgown, strapped myself into a skintight pleather red devil costume, climbed out a second-story dormer, and shimmied to the ground with a chain saw before entering a window I had left open, tried to kill you, then leapt out the window, climbed back up the wall, changed back into my nightgown,

and raced downstairs, all in the course of about 90 seconds?

Clearly that's got you a little freaked out.

I'm not gonna hold any of this against you, and I'm gonna let you be my date for the faculty Halloween party.

Attempted murder!

A guy was almost killed tonight, okay?

Now, no, I'm not a detective, hell, I ain't even a cop, but what I am is somebody who watched every one of those Cosby mysteries, okay?

See? Dismemberment!

I am so sorry that I pushed you out of my car and drove off real scared.

I just can't believe that How To Lose A Guy In 10 days is your favorite movie, too.

In precisely two and half minutes when we go in there, you let me do all the talking.

What are you dressed as?

Oh, you have a squirrel. Don't see that much anymore.

Breakfast is almost ready, we got meat today.

What can you tell us about that night?

Now, we will keep your name out of it, of course.

'm a vault,

And to get in this vault you need a key. Now, you may ask, a key to what? It's a key to meaning. Once you've found the meaning, you don't need the words. You know what I'm saying?

Please, continue with your story.

Have any of you ever heard of "negligent homicide"?

We need to dispose of this body on our own. Now, I've got everything we need in the kitchen to make sausages out of her.

I'm gonna go downstairs, shut this party down, and then we'll get the body out of here.

Somebody has to watch after the baby.

Can you at least turn on the radio?

Just leave the details to me.

We can't just act like this never happened.

She's the devil, that one.

I looked at that baby up close. I know my peas and carrots. That baby was a girl.

Your support doesn't matter.

My campaign needs a theme?

My pumpkin's drunk.

I'm hosting a haunted house to raise money for sickle cell anemia.

Why are you holding a fund-raiser, though?

I don't think you understand the magnitude of the miscalculation you just made.

I can assure you you will not be winning an election anytime soon. And when you lose, I am gonna make it my lifelong passion to destroy your reputation.

You're a stuck-up little sociopath, and everybody in this room knows it.

It might behoove you to recall that everyone here witnessed you actually murder someone

Just sharpening knives.

Put the knives down.

I don't know what came over me.

How very adolescent of you to think of this.

It vaguely smacks of something my six-year-old sister would be excited about.

It's the most disgusting disease in the history of mankind.

You get it when you don't even understand the most basic tenets of oral hygiene.

Just give the dang thing its pot of gold already!

I ain't got no candy!

Bet you're a sexy dirt-covered girl. That's what I bet you are.

Sometimes I come out here and I just rub my hands on the gravestones.

I get you more than anyone.

I also find the thought of dead bodies extremely arousing.

I just don't understand why I have all these dark feelings.

You know, I just think our generation's had it too easy, you know? We haven't seen enough horrible stuff. There's no awesome diseases randomly killing people. There's not really any awesome wars to go off to and witness horrific things you can't unsee. We, like, pulled out of all of 'em.

Sometimes I just don't even feel like I'm living, you know?

The only time I feel anything is when I'm thinking about chopping up a body.

And here you are, saddled up with an uptight girlfriend who freaked out for no other reason than the fact that you just wanted to fantasize about having sex with her lifeless corpse.

Oh, my god, I got a total chub right now.

Not scary enough.

She'll let you in the back door.

What could be scarier for an adult than a child coming to murder them?

Isn't that all of our greatest fear? That the pain, the regrets, the mistakes of our youth will destroy us in our adulthood? That we can't escape our inner child. One we would rather forget, but who, at the end of the day has all the power.

Why are you lying to me?

Something does not make sense.

You got to give me more here, okay?

I don't understand what you're getting at.

Are you on bath salts?

Why are we even here?

This house is haunted.

There's a legend in this neighborhood about a woman who wailed about her dead children. And this was the house she lived in.

These dumb ol' kids are smoking crack.

I think it's incredible what you can find out with just a quick trip down to your local library.

This can be one of the rooms for the haunted house.

What exactly do you plan on doing at this haunted house?

I was thinking we could blindfold folks and make 'em put their hands in a bowl full of grapes we peeled, so it'll feel like eyeballs.

I think the reason you want to have a haunted house party is 'cause a haunted party is like a buffet for murderers.

Yeah, yeah, you can just go around killing anybody you want and ain't nobody even gonna even notice.

Just like you chopped the arms off that dumb-ass golf guy.

Why do you have it out for me?

So now you look at me and see everything you could've been.

I hope you have a good time at you haunted party and get to murder lots of folks.

You have this way too thought out.

Isn't this kind of nice?

My sense of personal identity is completely external.

I really don't have much to offer.

I've found that my particular style of speaking and gesticulation is extremely off-putting to most boys. And girls. And anyone.

I need to eat. My blood sugar is crashing.

I'm tired of depriving myself of joy and sustenance.

I may die at the end of a serial killer's blade, but I refuse to die hungry.

Which one of you ladies would like to be my costume for Halloween? I'm going as "dude having awesome sex with you."

I mean, what in the hell's wrong with the world where a guy can't even whistle at a chick just to tell her she looks hot?

I recently took a women's studies class. Yes, because it was a requirement, but I learned a lot anyways. Like the culture that says it's okay for a man to objectify a woman for her appearance is the same culture that pressures girls as young as ten to have eating disorders.

So you're basically saying I'm the one responsible for making you look hot?

When you treat us like meat, you're no better than him!

I'm not really sure how you got my number, but I like how you took the initiative and texted me where you wanted us to meet.

Do you think you're man enough to take me inside that house and attack my crack?

I'll sure this house has an amazingly romantic basement.

Hey, so, uh, a little awkward since we're about to bone down and everything, but, um, what's your name?

Smells like roadkill.

I've never been so scared in my whole life.

All right, if we go to the police, they're gonna see I'm still rocking a mad sidepipe, and they're gonna think I had something to do with it.

We have to warn people.

All right, everybody listen up! All of your lives are in danger!

There are dead bodies! Dead bodies. Real-life dead bodies.

Did you say dead bodies?

Those are like the most lifelike dead bodies I've ever seen.

Is that a real dead body?

There are five dead bodies in that house. Laid out in horrible and deliberate macabre poses.

You are not leaving this house tonight.

You make it harder and harder to believe that you're not the killer.

I found out something really interesting, and now I have a theory.

Everything is weird about that story.

I mean, it's too big a coincidence.

We have to figure out who that woman was.

#rp meme #rp memes #rp starters #roleplay memes #roleplay meme #roleplay starters #scream queens

[ironmandeficiency]

Okay, I like shipping people quite a lot, you're also doing ships and I sent one, and you have an "about me" and briefly described your personality as part of an ask game a while ago, so let's do this!! I'm only doing Pedro because I'm nowhere near caught up with the Clone Wars, btw. But I do believe that I ship you with either Din or Oberyn (more Din than Oberyn, but there's a case to be made for both).

Let's start with Din. You mention that you work with kids with special needs, and Din has a kid with special needs (granted, said kid levitates mudhorns and can choke people from his pram, but that's still special needs, right??). Also, Din is someone who can be quite closed off and has difficulty being friendly, and I think someone with a contrasting personality such as your ENFP self would be a great help to him (as long as you respect his boundaries, of course, but I don't think that'll be a problem). You would be the face of the operation, talking to people and being friendly to get information/help when threatening them doesn't work (it should be the other way around, but this is Din we're talking about, so...). His job also involves a lot of traveling among the stars, so if you went with him you'd have plenty of opportunities to make the most killer photos in different planets. It's not all perfect, though. Din is extremely protective, and your tendency towards taking "stupid risks" would worry and annoy the hell out of this poor man. You also mention dropping everything to help others, something that would also kind of annoy him (but secretly he would be impressed with your helpful nature and even a little inspired, you make him want to be a better person). As I said, man might get annoyed with you at times, but it's just because he loves you and can't stand the thought of losing you to a preventable death (please don't make him lose anyone else, he's just started forming a family, if he lost it again I'm not sure he'd be able to come back from it)

And then there's Oberyn Martell, your Dornish prince. Listen, dude has 8 daughters, and depending on when you two start romancing each other they may be quite young, so you being good with kids is pretty much a requirement for a serious relationship with this man. You also mentioned at some point that your sexuality is ??? and you posted a picrew where you had a bi flag pin, so I'm going with you being multiple gender attracted, which is also essentially a requirement here. I don't know how sex positive you are, or how you'd feel about an open relationship, but assuming you're okay with everything, a relationship with this man could be exactly what you need. You are in Dorne, where it's pretty hot but there's also a sizeable coast line for you to swim in the ocean like the fish you are. There's also the water gardens, I'm sure there's a proper swimming pool in there somewhere. And then there's your prince, a man who loves as fiercely and as passionately as a raging sea loves the coast. He'll downright spoil you if you let him, and he'll love you for your sunny disposition and creativity. This is a man who writes love poems for his daughters, so you can bet he'd appreciate the hell out of you being a sentimental softie. Also, if you like Ellaria too you can consider yourself a part of the most powerful power throuple in Westeros.

An that's everything I have to say about that, have a nice day! ~ 🍪

...... i’ve had this sitting in my inbox for a whole day and i cannot, for the life of me, find the right words to express how much i love this. i read it the first time and was watery-eyed bc very few ppl in my life have ever done smth so sweet for me. you mentioned things that were so long ago/hella detailed and i was like “ohmygod they must have been following me for a WHILE and like they care?? holy shit??” and just- ohmygod honey you’ve got me in a whole ass other dimension of existence with this.

and then, at the end of that beautiful ask i saw the 🍪 signoff and was like “HOLY SHIT COOKIE ANON HAS BLESSED ME?! HOW AM I WORTHY?!” and immediately messaged @scribbledghost and text-blubbered that the famous cookie anon paid me a visit and made me happy cry (i’ve seen you on their blog all the time and i love you)

you hit every bull’s eye with this and my heart is so full. i’m gonna treasure this for a long while

#🍪 anon #my heart is so full #din djarin #oberyn martell #jj gets shipped #i was not ready #i’m 🥺🥺🥺 #i cannot believe you blessed me #i’m cherished

[kittycatgundam]

The demon of song

Chapter 5

After Pixie and Alastor had finished cooking and everyone had their fill some of them went to their rooms and went to bed.

Pixie was so tired that she fell asleep instantly. She tossed and turned as the dream she having unfolded.

Pixie sat up in her bed but she not in the hotel. She down at her hands. Her hands look like they did when she was alive. She look across the room to see another bed. The bed belong to only one person. It was Alastor's bed.

She went closer to Alastor's bed and try to wake him. Shake him, begging with tears in her eyes to wake up. When nothing worked she took the cover and pull them off hoping this would wake him.

Pixie heart drop when she look at Alastor's dead human body bloody and look like it been chew up by some animal and some of parts of his body were missing.

She felt sick to her stomach but she too scared to throw up. She want to scream but her voice was gone all she can do is cry.

"Songbird wake up, Pixie wake up!"

Pixie eyes shot open and she sat up in her bed. The voice that had wake her up belong to the demon sitting on her bed and holding on her shoulders. Alastor! Tears roll down her cheek. She try to stop them but all she could do was wipe them away but the tears kept coming.

"Why can't I stop crying? I want these tears to stop!"

Alastor pull Pixie onto a tight hug.

"I'm sorry, I left you all alone. I should been there to protect you. From the day I saw you singing on stage when we first met all I want to do is to protect that beautiful smile of your."

Pixie couldn't hold her grief back anymore. That night Alastor didn't come back after his killing. She waited for a month for him to come home. She also tuned in to the radio new just hoping that they found him alive safe and sound. The radio host voice came on over the radio sound like he needed to learn to project his voice better before he come close to Alastor's level of hosting.

Pixie turn up the volume on the radio to hear the radio host talk. She wish she didn't hear what he had to say.

"Ladies and gentlemen it come with great sadness to report that our beloved radio host Alastor was found dead from dog attacks. Our hearts go out the deceased family and friends."

Pixie turn off the radio and fell to the ground and start to screaming.

"Alastor can't be dead, he can't be... I should been there to protect him or at least die with him! I let him die all alone! I'm the worst, he need me and I was not there! I let the one I love the most in the world die! I should been the one who should die not him! I want him here with me! Bring Alastor back to me now!"

Soon Pixie voice was gone but the tears still keep coming and that night cry herself asleep. When she woke up that morning nothing matter anymore the love of life was gone she wish was dead.

With Alastor dead Pixie didn't have job. All the money she had was the money they kept in the apartment. She went and got it put in her pocket.

The home they share was going to taking from her of course since it was in his name and the fact people were going to look through their stuff. She bet they going find something that tie Alastor to a few murder that were yet be solved and if she stay the cops would arrest her believing she was his accomplice.

That mean she had to leave tonight! She grabbed a bag and put food, some bottles of hard alcohol, and some Alastor clothes. His clothes were a little big on her but it would keep her warm and they smell like him. She even soaked a handkerchief in his cologne so she could smell it and remember him it might even put a smile back on her face but she was betting it was just make her cry again.

She took the bottle of his cologne with her so could look at it. It been a gift she give Alastor a few Christmas ago. He told he love it. He always put some on everyday she didn't understand why.

Pixie started to think of little things Alastor did that made her happy. It made her chest hurt more and tears roll down her cheeks.

This wasn't the time to grieve over Alastor at least not yet. She grabbed a few more things and left the apartment. Pixie went down a few streets until she came to a hotel. She stay until she ran out of money then she be on the streets for good.

That night she didn't sleep she just cried. She didn't even want to look in a mirror she knew her eyes were red from crying. She couldn't even think she just missed Alastor.

It took a week for the money ran out and now she living on the streets. It wasn't something new to her some nights when she was hitchhiking to Louisiana she had to sleep outside at least she had a little money to get food with but soon that run out too.

One day a man told her he had a job that he could give her. Pixie knew what kind of job the man was trying to sell her and was he kidding himself if he through she going to fell for it.

Pixie told the man that she was not interested in being one of his flappers for hire girls. Pixie was not interested in sex unless it was with Alastor.

She walk down the street to get away from the man. The man became angry and grabbed her.

Pixie found herself with a gun in her back and was soon lead to a hotel room. She was push on to bed. She knew what was about to happen and she not going let it happen to her again. She took out her blue poison bottle, took off the top, and before the man could stop her drink all the poison that was left in the bottle. The poison work fast and Pixie die in seconds.

She was hoping that in the afterlife she get to be with Alastor again. Tell him that she love him and that she missed him.

Pixie woke up in a alley way in the same blue showgirls dress complete with boa and heels she wore the first singing gig she did in Louisiana where she first met Alastor. She came out the alley way and found the first reflective surface she could find and look at herself. Her beautiful dark auburn hair was now blue and she had cat ears! Her nails were blue too.

"Where in the hell.."

Seen some of the signs she knew didn't need to finished that sentence. She was in hell. Of course she never through she going to heaven be a serial killer and all.

A smile spread across Pixie's face but she didn't know why. She couldn't remember alot from her life before she die was it because she committed suicide or were you not supposed to remember anything about your life before you died. It doesn't matter anymore she fine her place in hell one way or the other. It time to see what hell had to offer.

Back in her room in Hazbin Hotel Pixie tears stop coming and she was feeling a little better. Memories of her life that she couldn't remember came flooding back. Along with the memories came secrets that she had forgotten. Secrets that she and Alastor share. One big secret!

"Al can we go to your room please? My room isn't set up yet and I don't want someone especially Angel hearing our biggest secret."

"If that what my songbird want."

With a snip of his fingers they disappeared and reappeared in Alastor's room. Pixie was sitting on his bed which was so soft and smell like him. She let herself fall on his bed.

"Al I want your bed! It so comfortable!"

"Get off my bed Antoinette!"

Pixie got off his bed and lean her back against the nearby wall folded her arms and looking at the floor.

"Feeling really privilege because you know my real name I bet you fine it really entertaining calling me by that name knowing how much I hate been called by that name."

"Sometimes but I'm the only who get to know you by that name."

"Good, then I stay in lobby with other so you won't be able to call me by that name."

Alastor grabbed Pixie chin making her look at him.

"Listen I can't stress this enough that our biggest secret stay a secret."

"Because I'm such a failure as a Overlord that it would hurt your reputation as the big bad Radio Demon wouldn't want that now would we!"

Alastor roll his eyes at this joke or lest he through was a joke.

"No, if our secret is revealed then you become a target for the other Overlords or any demon for that matter to hurt you to get to me."

"Yes, I know Al. Even though I'm as strong as you they use every trick they can demon don't fight fair no one does."

"No matter what you're still my sassy songbird!"

Alastor pull Pixie to him.

"Al!"

He held her tightly in his arms.

"You're enjoying this too much Radio Demon!"

Pixie face was hot from blushing but she smiles happily. Alastor laughed at how cute his songbird was been right now.

"You know I hate seeing your fake smiles."

"I only it has a strategy so I don't seem weak."

"Never use that strategy on me again understand."

"Don't worry I won't you're not my enemy you never were. So if we're finished here I'm going back to bed."

"You could spend the rest of the night with me. Come on one night won't hurt."

"I got two words for you Al, Angel Dust. If you ok with that pervert see me coming out of your room in the morning then I guess it will be ok."

"Good point."

Pixie was about to leave Alastor's room.

"Hey songbird catch!"

She felt a pillow hit her in the head as Alastor laughed.

"Take my pillow and I'll take your pillow."

"Fine, good night Al!"

With that she close his door went back to her room. She got back in bed and hug Alastor's pillow tightly to herself. It smell like him. Her heart was skipped happily in her chest. She lay her head on his pillow breathing in his scent and falling back into a deep sleep.

The next morning after breakfast and she and Alastor had their coffee. Everyone went to the lobby.

"Can I ask you something Pixie?" Charlie asked her.

"Sure Princess, ask me anything." Pixie said as she curtsied to Charlie.

"You don't have do that and you can just call me Charlie. Do you think a demon can be rehabilitated?"

"Most demons will tell you no and I bet they already have but I think there is way you can do it but it's a very slim chance. It's like quitting smoking you can't do it how does that saying go the one kids use... cold turkey that it. You have to let demons in indulge in their sins or they will just keep failing."

"But it's possible?" Asked Vaggie as she and Charlie look at Pixie with a hopefully looks.

"In theory maybe, I have see what I can do and what have to work with." Pixie told them.

"How the hell would know anything about psychology? Did you go some big name college or something?" Asked Husk.

"Nope, I never went to high school." Pixie told Husk.

"I die in the 1930's going to college wasn't a real goal for women in my time."

"So what are you some super genius?" Joked Angel Dust as Pixie just smiles at him. "Aw come on there no fuck way. Don't tell me she is a super genius!"

Alastor put a hand on Pixie's shoulder and smiled widely.

"Pixie will be the hotel new psychologist and therapist as well as been another Overlord like myself she will also provide protection for the hotel." Said Alastor.

"Pixie as The Siren you can make any demon do your will after hearing your Siren song right? Can you do us all a favor and use your Siren song on your pompous, cheesy, talk-show shitlord boyfriend and control him so he doesn't destroy everything we work on so far." Vaggie asked Pixie angrily.

"Vaggie!" Yell Charlie.

"Ok, first off Alastor not my boyfriend and second he a Overlord and just as powerful as I am my Siren song only work on less powerful demon. Alastor basically immuned to my Siren songs." Pixie explained to everyone.

"I'm so sorry Pixie." Said Charlie as she pat Pixie arm. "Thank you helping the hotel."

"I'm happy to help in anyway I can." Said Pixie sweetly.

"Good, then you help me make lunch for the hotel guests and staff." Alastor said as he grab Pixie hand and pull her toward the kitchen.

"Ok, Al I'm coming you don't have to pull me so hard. You're about to pull my arm out it socket." Pixie told Alastor as she followed him.

Finding her place at Hazbin Hotel, making friends with Charlie and the rest, and most importantly been by Alastor side. Pixie became the Overlord The Siren to protect this hotel and her new friends. She get to be by Alastor side again which made her happier then she ever been since coming to hell. If helping out this hotel mean she get to spend eternity with Alastor then she do what she could to help. She couldn't wait to see how entertaining this was going to be.

#hazbin charlie #hazbin husk #hazbin hotel #hazbin angel dust #hazbin alastor #hazbin vaggie #hazbin sir pentious #hazbin art #hazbin cherri bomb #radio demon #alastor #human alastor #angel dust #niffty fanart #hazbin hotel niffty #nifftyhazbinhotel #hazbin niffty #hazbin demon #hazbin oc #vaggie #hazbin hotel husk

[onemuseleft]

I don't even know what ship meme you're doing but I'm going to ask you to do klance for it. Because the world always needs more of your klance thoughts.

who’s the werewolf and who’s the hunter - Keith is a hunter and Lance is part of a large, non-violent family of werewolves who mostly keep to themselves. Their paths cross when Lance gets caught up with some local idiot weres who draw a lot of attention and bring the hunters down on them. Keith inevitably is like “I’m not going to shoot you, you clearly weren’t involved what do you think I am” and Lance is like “I think you’re a literal killer” and Keith is like “that’s rich from the guy with all the teeth” and they yell at each other a lot while trying to stop the other hunters from going after Lance’s family in revenge for what the other wolves did.

who’s the mermaid and who’s the fisherman - This could be fun either way! Lance as mermaid is kind of a gimme, of course, and Keith could have a shack on the ocean instead of a shack in the desert. But I kind of like the idea of Keith being a mermaid, but, like, not a real one - he wasn’t born like this. He got turned into one and Lance is just a dude who likes swimming and fishing and surfing and finds Keith on the beach early one morning and tries to help him get back to normal.

who’s the witch and who’s the familiar - I’d make Keith the witch I think? Lance is like a sprite or a water elemental or something that Keith wakes up and ends up accidentally binding to himself.

who’s the barista and who’s the coffee addict - Keith is the incredibly judgmental barista and Lance is the half-asleep college student who deliberately orders the most sugary, pretentious, complicated crap he can just to piss Keith off because he’s hot when he’s annoyed.

who’s the professor and who’s the TA - Hm, I’d say Keith is the flight instructor for the Academy who graduated early and got grounded after a bad wreck, so now he’s teaching students and really mad about it. Lance gets assigned to him as his TA and Lance kind of hates his guts on sight because *handwaves* reasons. Keith has no idea Lance hates him for, like, weeks. They end up actually liking each other and they bitch at each other constantly in class, which the students love. and then blah blah blah something happens and Keith has to save someone or has to walk Lance thorugh how to fly something, something, something? And then Keith is like “you have to go be someone else’s TA so I can ask you out” and Lance is like “oh hell like you’re firing me, I quit and also yes, pick me up at eight.”

who’s the knight and who’s the prince(ss) - Oh Lance is totally the princess. He’s the kind of spoiled and slightly neglected youngest heir and he spends more time with the soldiers than anything else. Keith is the second in command of the guard, Shiro’s right-hand man, who pisses off the crown princess and ends up on baby-sitting duty for Lance. This works out about as well as you’d expect right up until they realize there’s some kind of conspiracy/invasion threat from the Galra and the two of them have to work together to convince the kingdom they’re in danger. Also then they get married.

who’s the teacher and who’s the single parent - Keith is the new single parent after his good friends Shiro and Allura are declared dead after their plane goes down over the ocean and Keith takes in their kid. Lance is the kid’s teacher who calls Keith after the kid (Alfie) is caught brawling in the halls for the third time in a row. They rub each other the wrong way at first, but end up working together a lot trying to help Alfie cope with losing his dad/parents and kind of start to faull for each other.

who’s the writer and who’s the editor - Keith is the writer who does a lot of writing about like... survivalism and living off the grid and shit like that, and Lance is the editor who’s never met him in person but loves his snarky emails and thinks he’s kind of mysterious and charming, but also kind of alone. And then Keith misses a deadline, and doesn’t answer his phone or emails, and Lance goes looking for him.

#maplerosekisses

[jimjamthehorrorman]

if you're still doing slasher match-ups I'd actually cry if I got one! I'm an 18 year old girl and I'm quite bland looking really. I have brown hair and I really just wear hoodies and jeans, the only thing I really express myself is with shoes! I like wearing platform boots to stomp on peoples toes. My whole personality is just being funny, I also love giving hugs a lot! I'm also quite hot headed. My favorite thing right now is collecting furbies & anything of the sorts really! Thanks so much!

Don't cry 😅, but here it is!

You get a man who wouldn't mind platform boots at all. You get...

Our dearest Pinhead (Hellraiser)

You come across a neat looking box at a yard sale, the man selling it looks scarred and mutilated, but he only wants a dollar for it! That's a steal!

You get it home and look at it while sitting on your bed, cozied up in a nice hoodie and lounging around, you thoroughly examine the wild looking rubix cube.

When you twist the box around, you hear a rattling noise and decide "eh, must be broken. At least I only wasted a dollar" before crawling under the covers and falling asleep.

You're dreaming, and your vision fades in and out between darkness and the pale face of a man.

He gazes at you, sitting alone in a chain ridden room and a blood soaked floor.

"Why have you entered the Labyrinth? You are not meant to be here."

You have NO idea what he means. This place is a gorey mess. Blood everywhere, bodies strewn across the room and yet he stands in front of you, telling you to leave.

"This is a dream right?" You whisper to yourself.

He smiles.

"No, really. This is all too real, and it's not your time to visit hell. We're looking for others. If you will bring me people to suffer... I will try not to see the beauty in your own suffering."

You're certain it's a dream, until he reaches out and holds your chin in his hands.

"Your beauty might surpass that of suffering. But not by much." He chuckles.

"Bring me those you wish so long as you wish them suffering."

You wake in a cold sweat, the same room but not coated in thick blood and bodily remains. You stand up on the cold wooden floor, the boards creak loudly as you make your way outside to find the vacant home down the road as the portal to this... hell.

That had to be a dream right? You wouldn't have possibly woken up here if it was a dream. You don't sleepwalk... may be it was real. Maybe HE was real.

°°°

You think to yourself as you see the neighborhood stalker walk passed your house, peering in on this young girl showering through her window

"People to suffer... am I really going to do this? Am I really going to take a possible serial killer to an abandoned house?..."

You look in the mirror, where he held onto your face there is a stain of blood. It WAS REAL. It IS REAL.

You gain the courage to bring the man to the house.

He follows you upstairs and you see some nasty monstrous creatures jump past you to grab him.

There he is. The pale man.

You completely ignore the torturous chaos behind him as he closes his hands around yours.

"You've done a wonderful thing. Could you continue for me? I know how much you like stepping on toes... perhaps I can bestow upon you the power of life and death." He gently rubs his thumb across your cheek, gliding his hand behind your neck and pulling you into a kiss.

At first you're terrified, but you fall into the arms of this murderous monster. Despite the pins, which push back into his face and avoid harming you, his lips are so soft. His cool fingers running through your hair as he takes his time kissing you. He tastes like copper and cherries. An unpredictable flavor from such a scary man, but not uninvited.

As he pulls away from the kiss, he licks his lips and holds your hand to his heart or the lack thereof.

"I will be here for you. All you have to do is bring me a visitor each time. The cenobites will remove them and feed the suffering to the leviathin and we can continue these... meetings."

Reluctantly, you say

"Of course."

As though your body willed it before you could choose, you gave him a peck on the lips before leaving again.

"Until next time, my torturess."

"Oh my god," you thought to yourself, "I'm in love with a monster!"

He smiles at you as you start to walk away.

You won't be gone long.

~~~

HOPE YOU ENJOY!

#slasher matchups #pinhead #hellraiser #not my gifs

[caranfindel]

Recap/review 14.01: Stranger in a Strange Land

The Road So Far: Well, this montage pales in comparison to the one at the beginning of 13.23. Conspicuously absent: Sam being killed by vampires and resurrected by Lucifer. Also, it's set to an AC/DC song, and I dislike AC/DC, so let's just skip this, shall we?

(But Caranfindel! We thought you LOVED all that crappy old 80s music!)

You kids behave or I'll turn this car around.

Anyway. We open with Sam, driving the Impala alone through the night. He feels the same way I do about AC/DC, and turns off the radio (Sidebar: Have I mentioned before that I love when the soundtrack becomes part of the actual scene? Because I do.) Let's just take a good look at Sam here, looking magnificently angry and beardy. Because of course he's been too busy/depressed/other reasons to shave. And honestly, I'm not normally into beards. I love some heavy scruff, but a heavy beard doesn't generally do things for me. But this is just, rawr. I don't want him to keep it. Mama needs to see those dimples. But for right now? Let's enjoy it.

Mmmmm yes.

We cut to a (presumably) Muslim man being awakened by a call to prayers. He puts out his rug, begins to pray, and is suddenly shocked to see The Flying Squirrel sitting in his living room. Still wearing the hat, unfortunately. Michael informs Jamil that he's read about him, and quotes what is presumably the Koran (and Jensen speaking what is presumably Arabic isn't quite as hot as Jared speaking French, but is still very, very enjoyable). I wasn't aware that Gabriel and Michael were mentioned in the Koran. (Is this not actually the Koran? I'm going to feel like an idiot if it's not.)

Yes, you are the better one, but only because of your pretty, pretty vessel.

Michael is there to ask Jamil the question he's been asking a variety of people ("holy men, leaders, killers") for weeks. "What do you want?" (Sidebar: speaking of holy men, I still wonder where Michael and Lucifer found all the ingredients for the spell to open the rift in AU Land. How did Lucifer recognize that the blood came from a Most Holy Man and wasn't just average blood?)

Jamil says he wants peace and love, and Michael snidely points out that if he'd really wanted peace, he wouldn't have left Syria and abandoned his friends to die, and that's cold, man. That's really cold. He also tells him that if he cared about love, he wouldn't have gone into that broom closet with Darlene and his wife wouldn't have left him, and I'm with you on that one, Michael. Avoid going into broom closets with chicks named Darlene. Michael then throws Jamil about the room and tells him he's lost, and not worth saving. And for his part, Michael wants what he's always wanted: a better world. Oooh, like ours, maybe? Duh duh duuuuuhhhh!

New title card! I don't really like it. The blue flames are cool but the wings are too cartoony.

Bunker. The place is bustling with activity. A poor Sam substitute with long hair and a plaid shirt is laying out different types of bullets for Mary. Maggie is tending to someone who was injured by a rawhead. Someone shows up with food. Sam comes downstairs, apparently having just returned from Atlanta, and gets a hug. Aw. I guess the silver lining to Dean being gone is that Sam gets to be Number One Son for once.

His lead in Atlanta didn't pan out, but Mary reminds him that Ketch is working on a lead in London (and just like at the end of s13, there is no evdience at all that Mary remembers or cares what Ketch did to her in s12, so... okay then) and Cas is doing something in Detroit (Sidebar: How does Sam feel about Detroit? Can he hear Castiel's in Detroit without hearing Lucifer tell him I think it's gonna happen in Detroit?) and then she thoughtfully expositions for us that it's been three weeks since Dean... and she trails off without saying whatever she was going to say. I know it's awkward to say since he agreed to be an archangel vessel in an attempt to save your life but you could just say since Dean's been gone.

She assures Sam that "something will break; it has to" (and I'm thinking yes, and it will be Sam) and he says "yeah, you keep saying that." Oh, Sam. You used to be the one assuring Dean that you'd be able to fix/find/kill/save whatever, and now you're on the other side of that conversation.

He yawns, and she tries to get him to get some rest. Poor Sam never had a mother and now he's being mothered within an inch of his life. Then Not!Sam calls him Chief \o/ and gives him some soup and some bad news about vampires on I-90. Sam gives some instructions, because he's Leader Sam now, and then he asks Maggie if she can hack into the traffic cams and she says "Um. No."

I don't know if this is just supposed to be amusing, or if it's a sign that Sam is cracking under the pressure and has forgotten that this is Maggie, not Charlie. Or if it's just a demonstration of how useless Maggie is, although she's performing first aid so it's not like all she can do is sneak out to meet the cute guy at the Gas N Sip.

Sam hands his food off to Mary, because you can't hack and eat at the same time, everyone knows that, and sits down at the laptop, pointedly ignoring some mothering from Mary. "I'm good, I am," he says.

YES YOU ARE, MY PRECIOUS LITTLE LUMBERJACK, YOU ARE SO, SO GOOD.

He asks Mary about Jack, which is our segue to Jack sparring with AU Bobby. Jack's learning how much life sucks with no angelic powers. While Sam has ignored his grooming routine, Jack has changed his hair. It's shorter, without so much swoop in the front. It's okay.

Cut to a barbeque joint in what must be Detroit. We see a pair of shoes and too-long pants walking in, and then a guy wearing a pair of Agent Smith sunglasses says "Castiel, darling" and greets Cas, who is sitting at a conspicuous table right in the middle of the dining room. The fireplace behind him looks very much like the one we saw in President Lucifer's hotel room. Coincidence? (Spoiler alert: No, I don't think it's a coincidence that there’s a Fireplace from Hell in this restaurant.)

Cas is surprised Agent Smith chose this place to meet, and Agent Smith is surprised that Cas wanted to meet at all, considering that he's (dramatically removes the sunglasses) a demon. (gasp!) Cas asks if any demons know where Dean is, and Agent Smith says he's surprised that Cas lost him, considering that they're "joined at the... you know, everything." Oh, wait. Is Andrew Dabb a Destiel shipper? Because it's getting awfully shippy in here. I feel like I should complain about him pandering to the baser desires of a certain contingency of fans, but on the other hand, he's give me Bearded Angsty Sam, so let's just agree not to discuss our various base desires, shall we?

Carrying on. Agent Smith asks the eternal question, not "what do you want" but "what's in it for me," and Cas threatens to kill him if he doesn't spill. Oddly enough, even though Cas could tell if someone was evil or if they were lying in s13, he didn't realize that everyone else in this restaurant is a demon. Your powers are oddly specific, Cas. There's a fight, in which angels and demons use fists, because that's just what you do now, and Cas is predictably beaten to a pulp. (Also of note: one of the beer signs in the restaurant is for Fast Jack's Ale.)

Cut to a church. Sister Jo? We're back to that, then? Okay. Anael walks out, counting a wad of money, and meets Michael in a dark alley. He calls her Jo because... because that's how he was introduced to her? No. Because that's her angel name? No. There is no reason for any angel to call her Jo. What the fuck ever. She recognizes that he's not Dean, and then I don't know if he reveals his wings, or if she just sees him in Angel!Vision (Angel Radio is so old fashioned), but we get a special effect and she realizes who he is.

Do I like this or is it cheesy? 🤔

She even knows he’s not from our world. But I guess the AU angels recognized that Lucifer wasn’t from their world. Just not so quickly.

Oh God.

People keep calling me that.

Hee! (Although I don't think angels would use "God" like that but whatever.) She asks why Dean would have let Michael possess him, and Michael answers "love," and YES. I am here for Michael recognizing that Dean loves Sam (and maybe Jack but we know this was about Sam) and would have only done this to save him. Michael asks her his question, what do you want, and she spouts some designer labels. (Sidebar: What is the deal with her, anyway? Why does she need money?) He doesn't believe she's telling the truth, and I hope he’s right, because Show has given me no reason to think an angel would be interested in material things, even if they're covered with big tacky double-C logos.

Michael says he knows all about her, because "the other angel" knew all about her. Lucifer? Is he talking about Lucifer? (And one of the things Lucifer knew was that her name was not Jo, but whatever!) He knows that what she really wants is love, a home, a family. "It's very, very human of you." Hmmm. Interesting that Anael kind of liked that "almost human" feeling she got when Lucifer was sucking down her grace. Michael knows there are very few angels left, and thought he might be able to help, but if they're all as lost and fallen as she is, maybe they're not worth saving. Careful, Anael. The last person who heard this speech was Jamil, and it did not end well for him.

Bunker. Jack is sitting on his bed when Sam comes in. He's heard from Bobby that Jack had a terrible no good awful day (although I thought Jack was actually okay at the end of his scene with Bobby?), and he's so kind and encouraging about how hard it must be for him to be without his powers. "I have faith in you, Jack," he says. "And I believe in you." Which is basically the same thing but daaaaaawwwww! Mary interrupts to say "Sam, um, he's awake." Sam sighs and looks distressed and I know what you were all thinking. Who is awake and why does this distress Sam so much? He tells Jack "We'll talk later, all right?" but Jack stays in Quiet Angst mode and doesn't respond as Sam sadly creeps out of his room.

In the hall, Sam and Mary are talking about him.

Did he say anything?

I didn't talk to him. I can barely look at him.

Sam is clearly fucked the hell UP over him, and Mary peels off as Sam hesitantly opens the door. The room is dark, and a figure in a white shirt is sitting on the bed. Sam sighs nervously again and turns on the light and walks into the room. The man on the bed is facing away from us, but we can see his bed is in the middle of a devil's trap. Sam comes closer, radiating fear the way he did when he was locked in the jail cell with Jack in 13.01, and the figure turns around.

Hey, Sam.

Hey. Nick.

OH GOD, GUYS, NICK IS ALIVE.

We get a flashback of Lucifer convincing Nick to be his vessel, but we don't get Lucifer promising revenge against the people who murdered his wife and baby. I think anyone who hasn't been watching long would have benefited from knowing why Nick said yes. But maybe we'll get back to that later.

Sam and Nick discuss his nightmares, and I can't help wondering how much he remembers, if he knows what his body did to Sam, if he knows how many of Sam's nightmares feature his face. Sam cleans his angel blade wound, and they speculate on why the archangel blade didn't kill him. I assume they're setting us up to accept that the archangel blade will kill Michael and not Dean. Oh, those crazy archangel blades and their bizarre rules.

(Sidebar: Why is Sam the one taking care of Nick? Because no one else will do it? Because Sam won't make anyone else do it? Discuss.)

(I'm not crying, you're crying.)

Nick is a little whiny and "poor me, I almost ended the world." Okay, that's not fair, I can see why he'd be upset. But do not whine to Sam Winchester about it. Sam is so tentative and kind. When Nick says it must be weird to look at him, Sam surprises me by saying "yeah," instead of brushing off his own trauma. He asks Nick if he remembers anything, and Nick says it's still "bits and pieces" and nothing about Dean. He does remember Michael saying he "wanted to do it right this time." Duh duh duuuuhhhhhh!

We see Sam in the hall, shutting the door with a long shaky sigh and rubbing at his face, and STOP IT I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS I AM ONLY HUMAN.

This is the sound of my heart breaking.

I have so many feelings about this scene. First, so much love for Jared, because he shows Sam's terror of this guy SO WELL. And, like 13.01, that conflict between his fear and his need to be nice to this person, to care for him.

And I have conflicted feelings about Nick being alive and well. First, it's bizarre, because (1) why would the archangel blade not kill the vessel along with the angel, because that was definitely human blood, and (b) why is he sane? Why would Lucifer have taken better care of his vessel than Raphael did? (And does it mean Gabriel's vessel is alive over in AU Land?)

And does it mean Lucifer is coming back? Because I DO NOT WANT. Although I have one tiny speck of hopeful joy, because if this isn't really Nick, if this is, in fact, Lucifer? Or if Lucifer's grace will grow inside him (because we know a bit of grace remains inside the vessel) and he becomes Lucifer? That means Sam could still kill him. (Oh, please, baby Jesus.)

But I also have a lot of anger. Because this should have been a shocking reveal, and it wasn't, because the SHOW ITSELF SPOILED IT. I don't know if this happened to everybody, but in my time zone, we had a commercial for the movie "Halloween" that was apparently a tie-in with the show, and it showed Sam asking Nick if he remembered Michael. AND THEY SHOWED IT BEFORE THE REVEAL. WHAT THE FUCK, SHOW??? I assume it was a mistake, and judging from my Tumblr feed, it didn't happen in every time zone. So to those of you who actually got to be surprised, congratulations. I'm sure it was awesome.

Carrying on.

Sam's phone rings. It's Cas's phone, but it's not Cas talking. It's Agent Smith. The next shot is Sam loading up his weapons bag, confidently agreeing with Mary that yes, it is a trap, but of course he's going anyway. He's bringing Mary and Bobby, which makes sense, and Maggie, which doesn't. I guess all the good hunters are off looking for vampires on I-90. Jack wants to come too, which Bobby finds ridiculous, but Sam explains that Jack needs this. OH SAM.

Back at the restaurant, Agent Smith gets a coffee refill and asks Cas if he's sure he doesn't want anything hot and black. Which reminds me... what happened to Michael's previous vessel? Shouldn't he be around somewhere? Agent Smith says he's trying to be a good host, "like mother would have wanted," which makes me think we're going to find out something interesting about his mother and/or a female boss, perhaps an awesome Queen of Hell. (Spoiler alert: false alarm.)

He expositions that he needs something from Sam, because someone recently asked him what he wanted (Michael! It was Michael!) and he didn't know. So he thought about it, and he realized he wants everything. Hmmm. Would Michael have accepted that as an answer? Apparently so, because Agent Smith still walks the earth.

Impala. Sam's driving, with Mary riding shotgun, and I guess everyone else is in Bobby's truck. Mary tells Sam again that everything is going to be fine, and he shocks me by saying "Stop saying that, please." He's tired of her relentless everything will be okay and says "Dean's gone, and we have no idea where he is, or if he's even still alive, you know? Michael could have burned him out, or worse..."

Mary says she knows that, but she has to think about the good, "because if I don't, I will drown in the bad," which reminds me of Sam once saying there was so much evil that he thought he could drown in it. And I like this scene a lot. I like Sam breaking, telling Mary what he thinks instead of burying his feelings. I like the fact that Sam knows so much better than Mary ever could what can happen when you're in an archangels hands. I like that Sam knows how Raphael's vessel ended up, alive but gone. I like that Sam's voice gets shaky when he talks about what could be happening to Dean. I like this all, very much.

In the other car, Bobby tells Jack that they've got his back. Jack looks sadly out the window. I don't know why. I don't understand what's going on here. Is he concerned that he's so useless, someone has to have his back? Is he having second thoughts about coming along? Is he regretting his haircut? I just don't know.

The gang arrives at the restaurant and Sam gives Mary the demon-killing knife. "They'll search me," he says, because he's so damn smart. Then he tells the others "you know what to do," which suggests some kind of plan, and heads for the restaurant. Once inside, he is patted down as predicted, and Agent Smith fangirls all over him. "You are a damn legend, Sam. An icon! The shoulders, the hair! You are my Beyonce!" Same, Agent Smith. Same.

Sam ignores him to ask Cas if he's okay. Cas says he's more embarrassed than hurt, and, well, he should be, because this is pretty embarrassing. Agent Smith introduces himself as Kipling, Kip for short, but I'm sorry, it's too late for that. He's stuck with Agent Smith as far as I'm concerned. Sam refuses to shake his hand. Don't feel bad, Agent Smith, he refused to shake Mick Davies' hand too.

Smith points out that Sam didn't come alone, as he was supposed to, and his minions drag Jack and Maggie into the room. "Found them outside," a minion says; "they didn't even put up a fight." I assume this is part of the plan, that Jack and Maggie are a diversion or something. Agent Smith says he needs more from Sam now. He wants to make a deal.

Turns out Hell is in "a bit of a pickle." Crowley is dead and Asmodeus is "Kentucky-fried" (see, it's funny, because he looked like Colonel Sanders) and Sam interrupts him to say "I don't care" but Agent Smith thinks he does. Or he will. He wants to be the new King, and he wants Sam to work with him. "You see, I want the Crowley deal. I give you information, a spot of help every now and again, and in turn, you choose to turn a blind eye to the crossroads deals, the demon-on-demon violence, etc." Well, good for you, Crowley. Your mother thought the Winchesters were your weak spot, but Agent Smith here realizes it was a mutually beneficial relationship. Sam tells him they didn't actually have that deal with Crowley, and also that he's no Crowley, and aw. I miss the little limey bastard.

Agent Smith doesn't appreciate this, and growls that in his day he rode with Genghis Khan. He pokes Sam's chest and says "If I had my way I would eat your heart," and I feel you, Agent Smith. If I had my way, I'd also be removing that unfortunate orange jacket and that shirt and nibbling at whatever I found underneath. It's a sad day for both of us.

Agent Smith tells Sam that he's not afraid of him, but his minions are, and he should take the deal before he "stops trying to be Crowley," which I guess means stops not killing Sam's friends. So, is Agent Smith going to be the new Big Bad? The new King of Hell? I mean, he's not the most boring demon we've ever seen, but he's not really grabbing me, either. On the other hand, a King who's more of a Sam fan than a Dean fan could be fun. (Though, let us never forget that no matter how much Crowley craved a bromance with Dean, he was still Not Moose in Crowley's phone.)

Sam acts like he's considering the offer and then calmly says "no," and then Mary and Bobby burst in and there's a weirdly long, weirdly slow-motion fight. Really, it goes on way too long. There's no reason for an extended slow-motion fight when there's no suspense about who's going to come out of it alive. The only person who might conceivably die here is Maggie, and even she survives. Jack defends a fallen Bobby, Mary tells Maggie how to use a knife (seriously?), Sam gets some nice hair-in-the-face action, but really, we could have skipped 90% of this melee. And I'm still confused about why sometimes demons can pin people against walls, and sometimes they can't. Or just choose not to.

Eventually Sam kills Agent Smith and then shouts enough! and oh, you know I like that, don't you. Everyone stops fighting, because Sam Fucking Winchester said so. "There will be no new King of Hell," he announces. "Not today, not ever. Anybody wants the job, he can come through me. Understood? So, what's it gonna be?" Apparently it is understood, because the demons immediately smoke out. The humans (and Cas) look at Sam, shocked, and he pants (hubba hubba) and says "that's what I thought."

Well. What do we think about this? I mean, on the one hand, it's awesome. It's Sam Fucking Winchester taking charge. On the other hand, the only possible way it makes sense is if the demons have a reason to fear him. And that would have to be because they see him as Boy!King Sam, not as Sam Winchester the hunter, right? There's no reason for them to fear him that much as a human hunter. But there's no way he's getting his powers back, so why is Show teasing us like this?

Carrying on. Sam is back in the bunker, wearing a dark shirt with rolled up sleeves showing his big veiny arms (YAAASSSSS), holding a beer bottle against his head. He's on the phone, telling someone to keep looking. Cas comes in and Sam tells him the call was from Ketch, who's in London looking for the pulse generator they used to remove Lucifer from President Rooney. Hmmm, I'd forgotten about that thing. So, is Ketch searching in the BMoL headquarters? Is he welcome there? Or are they dead/disbanded because of what happened over here? So many questions. No answers.

Mmmmmm... ❤️

Cas asks if he's okay, and since he's on an honesty streak, Sam admits he's been better. But also that he's been worse. Oh, Sam. Cas apologizes for going to the demons, and Sam says he'd have done it himself if he'd thought of it. "If it meant finding Dean, I'd work with... I'd do anything."

Have you considered watching The Weather Channel? They’ve been tracking Michael for days.

In the kitchen, Mary and Bobby drink beer and make cute googly eyes at each other. He calls her "Sunshine." They're precious.

In his room, Jack stares angrily in the mirror and tells Cas he's fine, which is obviously a lie.

All I did was get punched in the face.

To be fair, we all got punched in the face.

Hee! But Jack misses his powers, and the ability to actually do something. Cas tells him his grace should regenerate with time, which answers THAT big question. Jack complains about being useless without his grace, and this is a good opportunity for Cas to point out that no one else in the bunker has magic nephilim powers and yet they're not useless, even Maggie, so why does he think he can't do anything? But he doesn't. He just tells him he has a family, which isn't really what Jack's complaint is right now. Jack still looks unhappy, so I guess this is setting us up for some future conflict. Yay.

Sam goes into his room, empties his pockets (he still has the money clip from Tall Tales!!!), and gets a phone call from an unknown number. It's Jo. "We have a problem,” she says. I don’t know about you, but I think she’s working for Michael!

And finally, in a dank damp basement somewhere, Michael has finally found someone who answered his question correctly and knows exactly what they want. "You don't pretend to want to help people, or save the world. Your want is pure, and simple, and clean. And that's why you are worth saving. That's why we are going to work so well together. Because you? You just want to eat." Oh, because you're a vampire. Well. That's not good.

So! I know the first ep of the season needs to set up the story arcs, so it's not necessarily going to be great. It has a lot of work to do. And I think this one did okay with that. We've got some interesting irons in the fire - Angry Chief Sam and his Beard of Despair, who has (probably temporarily) stopped telling people what they want to hear, and is telling his truth instead. The Nick situation. Whatever conflict is going to brew with Jack while his grace regenerates. Michael's hunt for the perfect thoughtless killing machine. Sam as default King of Hell. There are things brewing that I don't like. Jack turning his self-loathing against Sam or Cas. The potential return of Lucifer. There are things that make no sense. An angel who wants designer bags. Michael's hat. Hopefully they will all go away. And there were things I adored, which is basically ALL THINGS SAM. Chief Sam, patient-but-angry Sam, lord-of-all-demons Sam, terrified-but-caring Sam, hair-in-his-face Sam, BEARDY SAM, ALL THE SAM, ALL THE TIME.

But I miss Dean. What do you think about Jensen as Michael? I think he's doing a pretty good job. I don't think he plays Not!Dean as well as Jared plays Not!Sam, but I do think he's doing well. It makes me wish we'd had more of Demon!Dean.

Please help me stay unspoiled, thanks!

#spn #14.01 #spoilers #recap #your face your fucking face #beard of despair

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: 😞 Rio: Well, Indie was so fucked she didn't even remember you being there.. soz you were so unforgettable, babe Rio: You get home alright? Buster: Always am, babe 😏 Even if it's the one time I'd rather be without the -un Buster: Course Rio: Ugh, trust you to run with a typo! 😂 Rio: I clued her in but she is not feeling adequately sorry for it, like Rio: didn't clue her in THAT hard, fuck but you know 😒 Buster: Trust you to make it Buster: Both of you missing me that bad already, yeah? Rio: She is, making me wanna slap her if she weren't so clueless what's she's saying 🙄 Bless Rio: and my fingers slipped, what of it boy Buster: At least you don't need to be jealous of her Buster: Hot as that'd be Buster: UNsurprised, you make a habit of that around me, like 😏 Rio: Apparently, I am, like 🤷 Rio: Full of it, she is Rio: too alike, you two, never work Rio: Oh, did she bite you, btw? She's got a loose tooth, how, I ask you... Buster: Well she's your lil mate, so again, unsurprised all around Buster: But nah, bite mark free Buster: Keep sleuthing that one Rio: Not even gonna argue Rio: more of a mini-me than any of my other sibs 😚 Rio: I daren't ask around tbh, we've secured she ain't knocked up, I'll take that so we'll just book the dentist appointment and forget all about it, I reckon Buster: Yeah, she's cockblocked me too now Buster: Thank Christ nobody could've said THAT kid's mine Buster: Don't need another coming Rio: I'm not on team cockblock anymore! Rio: Trust, no one's madder than me Rio: Don't even play that is literally the LAST thing I need on top of everything else Rio: Can you imagine? No wonder Nan had a coronary, if Indie was about to be a Ma...Lawd o mercy Buster: Maybe the dentist'll sort her head out Buster: Nobody's having fun there Buster: Not saying payback for ruining the mood but I'll still take it, cheers Rio: Harsh but Rio: feeling it 😂 Rio: even Mums get to be bitches, yeah? Buster: They're the best at it Buster: Have you met mine? Rio: Not saying you deserve it but Rio: 😉 Buster: Fuck off Buster: You know I deserved last night and that didn't happen Rio: I know Rio: Universe just upping the stakes Rio: Only means I've gotta make it up to you harder when it finally happens Buster: You better Buster: When I come back, clear the fucking schedule Rio: Duh Rio: You best come for AT LEAST a weekend Buster: You'll have to give yourself a week to recover even then Rio: 😏 Rio: Big talk but that's yet to be seen Buster: Trust me, it ain't Rio: Don't tease me when you've only just left Rio: When do you next have an excuse to be back? Buster: Not even trying to it's just Buster: Fuck Buster: Already working on it. Get thinking too, family this big there's gotta be something soon, like Rio: Check the schedule 'fore I clear it, no probs Rio: but I know Rio: I promise I feel it too Rio: [Sends photographic evidence] Buster: What happened to no teasing when I've only just left? Rio: You started it Buster: Doesn't mean you have to finish me off Rio: That's EXACTLY what it means Rio: Hope you're actually back and not still on the plane 😂 Don't mile high without me Buster: Not trying to almost crash a plane and a car in such a short space of time Buster: Bit rude to take the plane down with how desperate you are to go down on me Rio: Gotta gain some self-control boy Rio: getting dangerous now Buster: Don't Buster: Self control is the ultimate cockblock Buster: No going back Rio: You reckon? Buster: Yeah Rio: Had to see Chlo yet? Buster: She's been trying to sext me Buster: So nah Rio: 😬 Rio: Oh honey, no Buster: If she had any game that'd be one thing but she ain't Rio: I can only imagine the levels of vanilla Buster: And don't bother 'cause whatever you reckon it's worse Rio: Ick, yeah I'll save my daydreaming for better, tah Rio: aren't you glad to be back in London town? 😂 Buster: Yeah 'course Buster: Fuck Dublin. Nothing there like Rio: Just decent craic and people, like Rio: but nah, the eye, cracking stuff that Rio: Please 😜 Buster: 😂 Buster: You not planning to visit then? Fine Rio: Can't really, can I Rio: Oh hi guys, just passing Rio: Plus, clearly need to keep a better eye on Indie Buster: Who knows who she might make a move on next Rio: She ain't even shamed, it's terrible 😂 she asked if you were into it Rio: took the liberty of saying no on your behalf so you can't say nothing Buster: Cheers Buster: I'd usually call you out but it's Indie like Rio: 😒 yeah, fight me on that one and we're gonna have trouble Buster: Hot as you are when you're angry, nah Rio: You say that now Rio: Wanna put it to the test? 🥊 Buster: Not yet Rio: Softie Buster: Shut up Buster: You know I ain't when I'm around you Buster: Can't say you've forgotten last night like Indie has Rio: I wish Rio: Can't stop remembering it, like Buster: Yeah? Rio: Yeah Rio: Then I remember how it ended, or didn't Rio: and I'm back to square one Buster: So much for the bathroom memories Buster: Holding Indie's hair back wasn't the one, like Rio: 🤢 Rio: boner killer if ever there was Rio: not, according to her but our vibe was DOA Buster: What? She got form at that has she? Nice Buster: Not my kink like but Rio: Coulda been in your mouth appaz Rio: Lucky you're tall Buster: Fucking hell Buster: Glad I left when I did Buster: Also not, you know but Rio: Yeah Rio: Probably could've left 'em at it and carried on Rio: but even my captivating charm has got limits Rio: 16 year old lads on one is not ideally how I want this going down Buster: Now you tell me Buster: Same though, unsurprisingly Rio: Just saying Rio: She'd never have known, messy bitch Rio: Too old for that shit, huh dad? Buster: Fuck off Buster: I ain't marrying you like Buster: The honeymoon would be worth it but couldn't hack the rest Rio: 😏 Whatever, you got the spawn to prove it Rio: Protest all you like Buster: The attitude's all yours though, ma Rio: Shut up Rio: Just 'cos you were too turned on to deal with the situation effectively Rio: 2nd time btw Rio: not that I'm counting Buster: Not my fault you're such a MILF Rio: 😂 that is so not my category Rio: friggin' cheek Buster: And it's not like you weren't, there was just nothing to prove how turned on you were to Indie and the lads Rio: Your word against mine, babe 😉 Buster: Yeah? Buster: I'll make you say it, trust me Rio: Wish you would Buster: Wish I could right now Rio: Fucking real life getting in the way Buster: Nothing but Chlo looming over me could stop me Buster: Trust her to be descending on my pad Rio: Big enough to hide Rio: just no seek Buster: My dad told her my flight info. Fucking traitor Buster: Can't even pretend I'm not back Rio: Awkward Rio: Feel that shotgun barrel between your shoulder blades? Rio: Meant to be her 'rents, not yours Buster: Don't Buster: Like yeah she said it was an emergency and she had to know, but how clueless is he Buster: Fuck's sake Rio: Clearly your Ma ain't as psycho as she seems Rio: Chlo's a special breed Buster: Christ. She really is Rio: Don't envy you at all Rio: my ex's antics seem ridiculously tame in comparison Buster: Have you heard from the latest? Rio: Oh yeah Rio: my own fault for repeating but truly opened the floodgates there Buster: Third time's the charm, ain't that what they say Rio: He's gonna magically get better, is he? Rio: I doubt that Rio: Indie reckons I gotta diversify anyway, hit that target demographic Buster: You could teach him Buster: Proper ma moves Rio: Some shit can't be taught, McKenna Rio: like not being a total twat Buster: Is he giving you grief? Buster: I'll sort it if he is Rio: Love a bit of chivalry, don't you Rio: Nah, he just is one, its nothing personal Buster: I mean it, Rio. Anyone is. Tell me and they won't Rio: You're cute Rio: I can handle myself though, you don't need to worry Buster: I ain't worried, just saying Rio: Shh Buster: You gonna make me? Rio: Such hard work, boy Rio: Give it my best shot across like Buster: You love it Buster: Always working like Rio: Got bills to pay 'til Indie can herself Buster: Keep the hustle going, babe Buster: I gotta run, Chlo's here Rio: Enjoy Rio: Tell her I said hiya Buster: Hey Rio: You're alive then Rio: How was it? Buster: Course Buster: Take more than her to kill my vibe Buster: How are you? Rather hear that Rio: You sure Rio: No shame in it Rio: She's...a lot Rio: I'm cool, getting ready for a shift Buster: It's my own fault, can't be crying over it, can I? Rio: 'Course you can Rio: Mixed reviews of judgment and lack of sympathy with the rest but I ain't gonna come at you with either Rio: better to rant here than to her, init Buster: Yeah Buster: Not like she'd listen but I'd know what I said Rio: So, still acting like she deaf blind n dumb then? Buster: About me and her at least Buster: I can't make it clearer Buster: Might have to fuck you in front of her, sorry like Rio: Steady on, like Rio: How has she got this far in life being so delusional? I blame the parents Rio: does she legit think she can gaslight you into a relationship like babe Rio: what's the idea here Buster: They don't stock brains in YSL Buster: I can't keep at this with her Rio: Its shit Rio: and you thought I played games Rio: got to find her breaking point with wanting you, but you can't go so far that she will try and withhold the kid from you as punishment Rio: gotta find the line before you can toe it like Buster: Yeah Buster: Never calling you a tryhard again, babe Rio: Definitely won't stick to that but Rio: happily let her take the title and crown Rio: maybe when her hormones quiet down she'll be better? ehh, comforting lie anyone? Buster: Maybe Buster: They better, I'm done with this shit Rio: Not long to go now Buster: All I do is wait now Buster: Sick of it Rio: I know Rio: Gotta let the kid finish cooking though, then you'll have Uni too Rio: it'll all pay off Buster: I know Rio: Try and enjoy your last summer of freedom, yeah? Buster: Yeah Buster: No pressure Rio: Gotta get used to it Rio: May as well be now Buster: Cheers Buster: Feel so much better now like Rio: You want me to bullshit you? Rio: That's the life you want, right? Pressure is your rocket fuel, like Buster: I'm just playing Rio: Oh, then that's the spirit Buster: 😏 Rio: Such a headfuck Buster: Says you, babe Rio: I'm not having a kid, like Rio: we all almost made it to adulthood Buster: There's always one fucking it up for the rest Buster: Why not me? Rio: Why not Rio: probably fucked up some bets, won others Buster: I'll take that Rio: Defending my honour and taking the first bullet Rio: What a doll Buster: Like you said, chivalry's my thing Rio: If it works for ya Rio: Not complaining Buster: You're not complaining cause it works for you too Rio: Maybe Buster: Can't deny it, babe Rio: Can and will Buster: Not for much longer Rio: Promises, promises, McKenna Buster: You know I'll keep 'em Rio: You've gotta at this point Rio: Can't not happen Buster: Understatement Rio: even if its just once Buster: Can you handle that? Rio: If I have to Rio: try and be a good girl about it Buster: You've got as much chance of that as you have of ignoring me ever Rio: I reckon that's just a cover for how little faith you've got in yourself on that one Rio: 🤷 Buster: My word against yours, babe Rio: We both know the truth, though Buster: Yeah? Buster: What do you reckon Rio: I reckon we both know once ain't gon' be enough Buster: Especially if we do it right Rio: Dunno how else to do it, babe Buster: Good Rio: Why is it you always see the people you don't wanna out, like Rio: catch me 'changing the barrel' multiple times Buster: Which cunt is it tonight like? Rio: Every cunt Rio: Told you off for dissing but genuinely sick of Dubo atm Rio: every punter's a comedian, or reckons they know where Edie is but then gives fuck all useful information actually Buster: Come here Buster: I know you don't wanna leave her but we can still keep tabs the same Rio: I know you're right, what use am I actually being, like Rio: but Rio: Idk, it don't matter Buster: Tell me Rio: Well, I know she didn't mean it how she said it, 'cos she took it back straight away Rio: but Indie says I'm only sticking around 'cos I'm guilty, and when I feel better, I'll fuck off Rio: and I don't want her to think I don't feel guilty Rio: or that I'm leaving her Buster: Fuck Buster: It's shit that you had to hear it though Rio: I'd rather she said it than silently thought it but Rio: yeah Buster: You've got nothing to feel guilty about, you know that, yeah? Rio: Don't lie Buster: I'm not Rio: Right Rio: Well, stop being nice then Buster: Say it first Buster: You've done nothing wrong Rio: I can't, Buster Buster: You won't. Different thing Buster: You can Rio: I don't wanna lie Rio: in general but especially just so I kid myself Rio: what's the point Buster: It ain't a lie, babe Buster: I promise you Rio: Certainly didn't help the situation did it Rio: what I do, fuck shit up for the rest 'cos I can't keep my knickers up Buster: Shut up Buster: That's the lie there Buster: They'd be fucked without you and you know it Rio: Or I'd be fucked without them Rio: am fucked, let's face it Buster: Bullshit Buster: You're perfect, remember? Rio: Only when we're playing Buster: You know that ain't true Rio: S'alright Rio: I've had my bathroom breakdown, mascara barely touched, we're good to go Buster: One of these days you're gonna believe me Rio: Never Rio: but its fun pretending with you Buster: I've told you before, you're real Buster: And how good you look is too real Rio: Why can't you be a dick to me Rio: I'd know how to deal with that Buster: I don't want to Rio: Selfish Buster: Not when it proper counts Rio: Humble brag Rio: thanks for the heads up or this would be really awkward and disappointing Buster: Thrive under pressure, remember? Buster: No worries Rio: You ain't worried, I know Rio: Know you're no scared virgin with it Buster: Nor you Rio: One thing I ain't scared of Buster: Rio Buster: You can tell me whatever, you know Rio: Yeah? Rio: that part of the deal now? Buster: If you want Rio: I dunno, you'll have to handle the paperwork Rio: wanna distract you from the pressure, not add more Buster: Why not? Thrive on it Buster: And I ain't scared of nothing so Rio: Fine line, babe Buster: I can walk it Rio: You're so sure, huh? Buster: Yeah Rio: Shouldn't be surprised Rio: cocky bastard Buster: No arguments here Rio: Only 'cos you're Mr. Nice Guy all of a sudden Rio: don't be TOO nice, yeah? Buster: You wanna fight, babe 🥊 Go on Rio: Not exactly what I had in mind Rio: submission is more than willing, like Buster: It's not gonna be that easy Rio: Why not? You don't wanna give me what I deserve? Buster: I don't wanna just give you anything Buster: Where's the fun in that Rio: 🤤 Rio: that's the Buster I want Buster: How bad Rio: You still gotta ask? Rio: I do need to work harder to show you Buster: I don't have to Buster: Just want to Rio: I get it Rio: I'm nowhere near tired of hearing it either Rio: tired of it being all chat though fr 😒 Buster: I feel that too Buster: Soon, I swear Rio: Promise? Rio: To the point I don't even fucking care, if people keep getting in the way then they only got themselves to blame Buster: Yeah Buster: We've held back long enough Buster: Too fucking long Rio: Practically a saint over here Rio: and a nun Buster: You better not be Rio: Yeah, found Jesus in the time it took yas Rio: and he's a top ride, like Buster: 😂