#but also <3 he is a little bit dumb <3

[babygirlgiles]

I think my fic where Xander accidentally becomes a successful novelist (largely without realizing it) is the funniest idea I’ve ever had. This guy started writing little stories to remember their adventures in Sunnydale (his last line in Chosen about “how will anyone even know about this unless we tell them” burrowed itself into my little archivist brain and won’t let go) and posts them online. He unintentionally goes viral. He thinks someone named Simon N. Schuster is leaving him voicemails. He ends up on the New York Times bestseller list.

He doesn’t even realize that everyone else thinks the stories are fiction. Xander is out here writing autobiographical non-fiction but everyone else thinks he’s a weirdly dedicated author that’s really committed to maintaining a Lemony Snicket style pseudonym/persona for the narrator of his novel. There are “Who Is Xander Harris?” articles. No one can dig up much of anything on him because he lived his whole life in a town that got wiped off the map. He keeps rejecting requests for interviews because of his stage fright. At first this drives his publicist absolutely ballistic but it just adds the the air of mystery that’s drumming up book sales so she lets it go.

He only responds to questions over email and only ever responds “in character” as his “novel’s narrator” and this baffles everyone, only adding to the supposed mystery. It’s literally not even Xander actually writing the emails 95% of the time. It’s Dawn. She has appointed herself as “Xander’s representation” even though she doesn’t really know what being someone’s representation means. She printed business cards.

#meanwhile the rest of the scoobies are doing everything in their power to stop this book’s publication #it’s a total comedy of errors on every single front #tagging this so claire can filter it lmao (ily claire) #xander Harris #btvs #buffy the vampire slayer #dawn summers #Dawn’s business cards are maybe the funniest part of this me and I truly think this whole thing is hysterical #xander is letting her take care of all the business stuff which is a huge part of why he has no clue what’s going on with the book ever #but also <3 he is a little bit dumb <3 #but also genuinely he just doesn’t care about the business side of things all that much #he really was just writing little stories bc he loves his friends and wanted to remember the times he’s shared with them #and as a way to remember/grieve everything he’s lost. friends. anya. Sunnydale as a whole. #he’s just a little guy who’s so loyal and full of love and thank god Dawn intervened lmao #and now he’s sort of just along for the ride on the publication process #Cristina if you see this is also love you thank you

[goatyoat]

Just a sane guy doing normal things & having life-changing revelations mere moments before disaster.

#I think I might need to come to terms that I am a digital painter tbh #I open Krita and suddenly 3 hours later i'm finishing the laaaast little detail on a painting bc i thought it would be 'fun' #anyways Todd is soooo sane for this #he's young hes dumb and hes a little bit crazy #can we talk about why there was purple lighting in this truck though? #like- this was mostly a color study i did not exaggerate the lighting that much #im actually a little in love with this piece. I have access to a fancy printer via campus i might just get this fancy printed tbh #dghda #Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency #Todd Brotzman #todd brotzman art #todd brotzman fanart #also despite my caption this moment is not in episode 8 can you BELIEVE #hes such a sane normal guy here??? #goaty's art catalogue

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

NOT TO BE DRAMATIC BUT FIRST 1K OF SUNLESS GROUND WRITTEN!!! a little bit:

She and Darren have been at the cabin for eight months. It belongs to a college friend of his—an arcing property flanked by evergreens and nothing more. She could lie to herself. Say she’s gotten used to waking every morning at yolky dawn in the bedroom she occupies alone. She’s gotten used to the scalding silence at midnight and gotten used to lighting the candlestick on the nightstand even in the middle of the day. The same instant peach oatmeal Darren keeps buying every time he treks out to the city because she said she liked it once. She can’t bring herself to tell him she can’t handle the flavour anymore, the way she’s gotten used to it and the way she’s gotten used to her hair getting longer, nearly touching her shoulders, the way she’s gotten used to her waxen face in the bathroom's uncovered mirror. She could lie. But nothing changes the truth even when she stays up all night, rocking back and forth, hoping something will. She made it out—no more running, no more hiding. It’s a good thing, and yet the prospect is so lonely, so frightening, that she sometimes considers walking into the woods until she makes it out the other side a woman who did not survive alone.

#REEVE POV!!!!!!! #holyyyy i thought I forgot to write with her and then it all came back #I love how beautiful and literary reeve's pov is just wait till we get to harrison's he's gonna be making sex jokes #ALSO I WROTE VIRTUALLY ALL OF THIS TONIGHT LMAOOO #i realize that i can just work on this concurrently with my other stuff because the writing is so dumb that i can handle that #tho actually i don't mean THIS writing is dumb this prose is fantastic LOL #that's more relevant for harrison's pov but in general the SV/SG brain is so different that it's not a hassle to write this and #multiple other things #also weird that this book is sunless ground because i've been used to seeing my sideblog username for like a year as that LOL #BUT I LOVE THE TITLE!! #also yolky is stolen from my changing states description <3 #i'm considering doing a 10k day for SG just to get the plot rolling a little bit LOL just like I did with SV! #maybe not that high but maybe at least 5k?? we'll see! #I AM NOT ABLE BODIED ANYMORE LIKE WHEN I DID THAT THE LAST TIME SOOO LOLLLL #sunless ground

[lloydfrontera]

touch starved lloyd who will lean into any gentle touch he gets without thinking about it, who never initiates anything but is also never the first to pull away, who sometimes flinches at unexpected contact but will gravitate closer to those he trusts so he's always withing arm's reach

#tged #the greatest estate developer #lloyd frontera #i would say 'someone give that man a hug' but honestly marbella and arcos do that pretty often it's really sweet <3 #but like imagine javier noticing it and dismissing it at first until curiosity gets the best of him #so he starts slowly initiating small touches between them like a little tap in his shoulder to get his attention or maybe a quick pat #on his back as he passes by or maybe standing a bit closer than normal so his arms touch slightly #and it's nothing noticeable nothing lloyd could actually call him out if he even noticed it #but that's the thing. he doesn't notice. but he does start leaning more and more into every small touch javier dares to give him #sometimes even starting to stand closer to javier almost as if seeking the small presses of their arms #so javier starts getting a bit bolder. grabbing him by the sleeve and then the wrist to pull his attention to something. #sitting right next to him whenever there's a chance. subtly bumping their shoulders together when someone says anything dumb or funny. #in one notable occasion when he had to grab lloyd by the hip and guide him as they walked because he was too engrossed in his work #and also too sleep deprived to notice if he was about to walk into someone #and so it continues until suddenly one day javier has lloyd sprawled all over him and he's like 'Wait. why was i doing all of this for' #but by then is too late lloyd has become to used to javier constantly touching him and has subconsciously decided he's his personal plushie #btw this is all without lloyd actively realizing anything as far as he knows everything is perfectly normal #and he's doing great he's gonna get a good grade in being a Functional Adult something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve #i talk a lot <3

[faunandfloraas]

You make me want to listen to FNF every time but I hate that song it makes me SO sad

someones not catching uuuuuuh uhhhhh uhhhh upppppppp

#thanks for the ask! #okay no but this just gives me the chance to talk about the weirdest take i saw about fnf #that was like Um Chan was lying about it being about the australian bushfires its clearly about love so lol nice try bro:/ #and i was like ............................................ ??? #the ashes? up in the sky?? fauna and flora even if i turn to dust i really want you back?? #like ????? youre right its a love song!! but not everything is about romance jesusssssssssssssssss #they were not able to visit for 3 years and imagine watching your home burning down bc mind you it was like the whole country for 6 months #1 billion animals died. the ecosystem was horrendously damaged. and this bruv finds the notion too perplexing he and felix would be affecte #and maybe write a touching little song like>>????? #its such a good song bc its got that grief in it but it is a love song and its sad but theres that bit of hope too #ough anyway. Thats why i shouldnt go on twitter bc i get annoyed about dumb things!!!!!! #also like obvs the listener will have their own takeaways from a song and how they see it but still i was confused #lmaooo #ask #i said today was the day for tangents and i didnt lie

[tiktaaliker]

one thing that really charms me about the dialog in malevolent is how often Arthur and John say each others names when talking to each other. like they call each other directly by name a LOT and at first i was like. ok kind of goofy but thats fine. and like it makes sense for arthur to specify he's talking to john but kinda odd for john to say arthurs name so often tho since arthur is the only person he can really be talking to in the first place??? its not like he NEEDS to clarify that he's talking to arthur or to get arthur's attention. if john speaks its very obviously going to be directed to arthur, so what's with that???

ok. so. hear me out. i thought about it a bit more and i like to think that it started as like. a manipulation tactic by john to make arthur more willing to play along. in the same vein that in every job ive had in customer service ive been told to use the customer's name as often as possible to make them more "comfortable." it very much fits in with early season 1 john's whole thing where he's trying to get arthur to play along by claiming that he's trying to help

and when all the pretenses are dropped john just keeps doing that because that's just how theyve always talked to each other. theyre so codependent if they dont say each other's names every 30 seconds theyd both explode

#howling #malevolent #also i think arthur gets a pass for this because he spent a decent amount of time not having a name for john #AND idk i don't think arthur calls john by name nearly as many times as john says arthur #john says it to the point where he practically starts every other sentence with arthur its so funny sometimes #especially when he's saying something dumb or obvious in a really tense moment #the one line from the train where john yells 'ARTHUR HIS HANDS ARE AROUND YOUR NECK!!!' #like yeah man i think he knows #also hi yall might see me malevolentposting for a bit im a little obsessed with these two #theyre both terrible people <3

[hella1975]

this isn't meant to like. make you give your opinion on Discourse™️ or anything I just wanted to ask, but I keep seeing people upset about taylor dating mr. 1975 and I can't figure out if it's bc he's a terrible person or just a greasy alcoholic 😭😭😭 do you know what's up with that guy??? like on one hand I like not knowing things about celebs and I should keep it that way. but also

i, unfortunately, do know what's up with that guy and it's that he's said something problematic about every faction of society at least once. for me i have some weird, reluctant fondness for him because he is just a train wreck and he's such a twat all the time that at least it's nondiscriminating, and i also like that when he sings about mental illness it's bc he's actually BEEN THERE and been publicly a mess bc of it and been addicted to drugs and acted like a dick, and he ACKNOWLEDGES THAT, but also at no point am i gonna jump on the 'he's an amazing person' parade bc generally he is just a sleazy idiot. it is weird watching people suddenly dragging up every single thing he's ever said to be like 'look! this is why he's bad for our tay tay!' when the running joke with matty healy is that he's just a prick. like u dont need to expose his moral fibre. u can just say he's a prick. and also as funny as the jokes are she's still a grown woman who's been around the block a few times when it comes to dating. i think she will be okay maybe

#idk that's just what i think though. like he's been cancelled more times than he has songs and yet a lot of us are still here #and he acknowledges it like there's a running gag at his live shows where he goes to say a very explosive sentence and then he gets cut off #by the band with a random song it's so funny. like he'll go 'i just think that immigrants- *LOUD GUITAR*' & i think that's a part of it too #is that a lot of people don't get that sometimes he's being ironic? he takes it too far and these days he's annoying #but idk ive seen certain instances where im like. that went over so many people's heads #idk i just dont think he's Evil and Malicious i think he's just a prick. like people can just be pricks even if they're super famous. wild #he's so fucking pretentious but he got famous for being REAL and his music has helped a lot of people because of how real it was #like i made a post a while ago about his song 'give yourself a try' and how the concept of it is literally #'life is a little bit shit to be quite honest with you and you WILL get fucked over by it and fuck yourself over but you're here anyway #so you might as well give it a go' like???? so many mental health ballads are like 'the world is So Beautiful and So Are You' #but matty healy ALWAYS has gone actually it isnt and you arent. whatever though #and i just really like that #ask #also big disclaimer that i dont have an encyclopedic knowledge of all the dumb shit matty healy has said ive just been listening #to the band for a while and have picked shit up along the way. if it turns out he's done some actually reprehensible shit that ive missed #then that's literally bc i do not actively run in 1975 circles and do not intend to ever start <3 so dont yell at me LMAO

[mars-ipan]

i accidentally brainrotted our entire dnd group (including myself) with cal and soren (npc, the guy in the tire). so i'm drawing cal again. he's a faggot if you couldn't tell

#martzipan #cal #<- he gets an oc tag bc i've posted him twice now #huge part of cal's character is that he's gay and everyone knows it but him. he's really really stupid oblivious to it #also. as a warlock he can telepathically transmit messages to people #some party members came up with the idea that sometimes he does it on accident. i went 'yes absolutely' #cal's really really emotionally unintelligent i love him. little dumb idiot twink #every single one of my dnd characters is a self insert in some way. they all get a little bit of me right #cal got the smug asshole who lives in my brain snarking ppl. and also my complete obliviousness when it comes to romance #he's VERY fun to play. so so so stupid <3

[bumblingbabooshka]

Seska in ‘state of flux’ literally acting for her life you gotta love her

#also why does Chakotay call him 'chief inspector Tuvok' wth that's so cool!!! #anyway yeah Seska's sheer commitment to the bit of CHAKOTAY....ME!?!?!? You think I did this!?!??!? is stunning <3 #Seska a cardassian agent: Hey - even I was a cardassian agent your secrets wouldn't be worth it okay??? love you <3 #<- venting her frustations #also the way Chakotay acts in this episode...I love you so much Chakotay but no wonder you didn't know there were TWO spies aboard your ship #Seska: -being the most suspicious woman in the world- Chakotay....I made you mushroom soup and this is how you repay me?? #Chakotay: damn...you're so right. She's right. #Tuvok: She isn't right. #Chakotay: She's SO right v_v #he's NOT an idiot I'm not saying he's dumb he just wants to trust his crew~!!! Genuinely love that about him - gives second chances to #people who might not seem exactly on the up-and-up in the eyes of those with a stricter moral code like Janeway and I wish we'd seen more #of that coming in handy...like Chakotay urging her to trust people she (and Tuvok) would regularly disregard #Now CHAKOTAY would make a good spy...he just has a demeanor that makes you wanna trust him #'You're a fool captain...and you're a fool to follow her' - Seska #'We'll have to find another day to settle up with Seska' - Janeway #<- I like these quotes #I wish Seska had become a more persistent villain v_v like I wish she'd been more on-her-own gathering more and more allies #Seska and her ever-growing army of steadily more major baddies who she accumulates by doing shady deals #but every so often...she seems like she throws Voyager a LITTLE bone and you're left to wonder #<- she still dies in the end (after much longer) and everyone's sadder about it then they thought they'd be

[irlwakko]

can you be robbed of something if it never actually existed. anyway we were robbed of villain zoey

#and villain/hero zoke. if you even care #but seriously okay okay listen. there was fan art of this somewhere and I can’t find it I am NOT the one who invented this #do not give my dumb ass credit #but LISTEN. LISTEN #pretentious hipster ‘liked them b4 it was cool’ ‘name five of their albums’ indie chick zoey #with her fuckin. thrifted clothes and her stick and poke tattoos and oat milk lattes. and pronouns #who looks at the game basically like Scott would #but Mike? Mike is the exact same #he’s literally just like ‘ahheeehahhhehe girl pretty :)’ and is head over heels from the minute he sees her #and she’s very aware of this and sees Mike as a pawn she can use and manipulate to her advantage #and then dump when they’re near the finale #but!!!!! and here’s the kicker #she actually develops feelings for him a little bit but she’ll never admit it #also in all-stars villain zoey and mal would be mlm/wlw hostility #like the entire season #i can’t decide if Mal would reveal himself immediately or play along to keep Zoey from eliminating him #because I could absolutely see him confronting her like ‘alright you might have everyone else fooled but I see right through you’ #and her being like ‘well what are you gonna do about it :3’ and this goes on all season with both of them dodging elims #basically Bowie and Julia before Bowie and Julia

[vvanessaives]

WIP DAY. (or whatever day it is)

i was tagged by @nuclearstorms and @arklay, thank you beloveds MWAH. i’ll share a little crumb of yea, still on the same work of last sunday, because i literally can’t finish this thing, i keep adding words and it’s hell at this point. anyways have fenix being dumb, my fave concept in the world

i’m tagging @morvaris, @swordcoasts @camelliagwerm @wrymbloods @jillvalcntines @reaperkiller @steelport and anyone else that wants to share a wip for anything at all really, art, writing, whatever <33

Fenix hesitated, still leaning over the counter. Mars knew something else was up. “Spit it out.” He pronounced the words like a prolonged sigh, already fed up with the interruption.

“Listen, can you maybe, ya’ know…take your trophy from the trunk and leave me the car?” Automatically he started tapping his fingers rhythmically on the counter: there was no way in hell Mars would agree straight away to the request but trying doesn’t hurt. Most of the times. “Just for a few hours? I’ll take it back here, cross on my heart.” He quickly added and outlined the symbol with his index and middle finger in the same exact spot he mentioned.

“No.” Mars’s reply was as hard and cold as his usual demeanour and struck quickly like a lightning, he didn’t even ponder the matter for a single moment. Luckily – but for himself only – Fenix was a stubborn man.

“C’mon, it’s just like…what?” he tried to reason, “two or three hours? Just enough time for breakfast and so on.” The tapping was closer to a hammering sound now and was gradually chiming louder and louder into the fixer’s skull like a nail striking inside. How he wished to cut a few more fingers off his hand. Trying to ignore both the sound and the man making it, Mars didn’t budge and kept his eyes fixed on his turning magazine’s pages activity, vital if you ask him.

“Okay listen. See the girl outside?” Fenix shifted his body to the side, weight resting on his elbow now, yet the man kept ignoring his every word, he was only glad his ears where spared from the noise. “Give a look man, for fuck’s sake they beat the shit out of me for that contract of yours.” The exaggerated exasperation in his now too noisy tone made the fixer puff out a tired breath as he raised his gaze; suddenly the idea of just agreeing to the request and let the cowboy go fuck himself was turning to be quite an interesting choice. He leaned to the side once again, this time only slightly since Fenix’s frame wasn’t obstructing the view any longer, and shot a glance at Vesper: she was still leaning against the car, phone in hand as she mindlessly tried to kill time by scrolling down on news and flashing commercials.

As if she could feel the pair of eyes staring into her direction, her gaze shot up to the shop, efficiently spotting the two men spying on her. “Yeah right, that one.” Fenix comically lifted his hand and waved, enough to make Vesper focus on the screen again with a groan. “Listen,” he began as he leaned over the counter again “I got a date with the girl and don’t let me get started on how fucking hard it was to make her agree to have one, I swear.” That wasn’t a lie, for once. Not only it took twelve failed tries – yes, he kept counting – for Vesper to finally accept the invitation but she still didn’t dump him and thirty minutes already passed. They literally just stopped to drop a corpse on their date, that had to be a deal breaker. “What kind of cheap fuck takes someone on a date with no car? This is my chance, I fail now I get no second tries. Help a man out.” He moved his wrist in short, fast circles now, his fingers following the circular motion in a gesture that Mars didn’t quite understand the meaning of.

He looked straight at Fenix now: his sardonic smile and usual confidence couldn’t hide the almost pathetic pleading. That was one of the most entertaining shows he ever offered to him. “The real favour here would be freeing her from you, actually.” Fair point, Fenix noted, that forked venomous tongue of his never disappoints.

“Yeah well, I asked you to make me a favour. You’ve been young too…” he stopped to scan the old man’s wrinkled face with a frown and then resumed his earnest speech “…one hundred years ago I guess. Y’know how it is.”

Ignoring the jab at his age, the fixer lowered his gaze on his magazine once again and for the last time; the silence following almost felt like a refusal and Fenix was ready to go back and talk his ears off. Thankfully it wasn’t needed. “Fine.” Mars finally yielded, probably only to make the annoying voice of such an insufferable man stop torturing him. “I’ll get the body. You take the car back when you’re done.”

Fenix smirked widely. “Thank you, bello mio.” He teased while slapping the palm of his hand on the counter a few times, Mars already opted for blissful indifference and really hoped – nearly prayed – that now he could finally find some peace again.

You sly bastard, Fenix thought, mentally patting his own back for a job well done. Turning to the exit, he left the fixer’s uncommon den and went straight back to the car, an unusual jauntiness in his steps. Back to his cool front, now. Can’t let the girl know he’s too overjoyed, that would ruin his image.

#tag games #literally kept forgetting about this it's incredible i was like i will do the wip thing now [doesn't do it. keeps forgetting] #so uh yea nix beloved idiot i love him also this is early times of the dumb duo and i'm slowly (22k words) writing their first little date #(kill a man. drop the body. get paid. hey wanna have breakfast?) love that for them i guess. also literally the way it is so hard to write #hand gestures bc in my mind are clear as the sun but writing them down..? SHAKING. i make no sense all the time it's beautiful #OH + bello mio just literally means my beauty but with a funny intent like saying it to a friend (nix is mocking him <3) and uhhhh mars is a #fucked up little old man whos a fixer and his office is inside a laundromat and he LITERALLY has a forked tongue and a snake tattoo on the #face too and just i went a bit off with this man. i just find him funny and the way it feels like nix is asking for the car to his dad just #hehe laughing rn in my mind okay fine i'll shut up

[sysig]

I'm just getting into some Ace Attorney stuff recently, so could you please draw a fancy Miles having some tea? Perfect to stay cozy while it's cold out!

Day 25 - Crisp

#My art #Requestober #PWAA #Miles Edgeworth #The fanciest trash man ❤️💕💖💞 #Love him #Gave him a kind of casual but still nice out-for-a-walk ensemble #In his signature colours because he's a nerd of course ♥ And a Steel Samurai teacup because he's a Nerd of course! Haha #He would have a Steel Samurai teacup he'd paint it himself if they didn't make one #Also featuring more breath clouds ♪ Autumn is perfect for cozy vibes that aren't super hostile to staying outside #Just a small dusting of cold-flush rather than fully blushed up #His skin is so pale even that little bit of pink stands out hehe #Handsome jerk <3 #I imagined him going out to a coffee shop but bringing his own cup to drink from out on the patio lol #If it's a still day he could bring some of his casework with him! Glasses - jacket - Steel Samurai teacup lol - very handsome setup #I am also still big love his colour palette hhhhh I really should get back into PWAA if for no other reason than to appreciate the sprites #*shakes fist at JfA* I'll get back to it eventually lol #I miss himmmmm come back already fdskalfdfd #Miss your dumb face ♥

[baekuras]

shoutout to every customer coming in the last hour we were open and special shoutout to the one who came in 1min before we closed and tried to discuss if we still had something available (we don’t) and wanted me to check just to be sure (like literally we don’t sir you’re glasses are antique by now please leave) and then wished us a good closing shift later me and my coworker just said “....now” as they left and raced to close up

just sure last hour and little things are fine but one came in 15mins to get his glasses fully fixed which would require taking them fully apart so uh no come in next week and just the last guy “i need these adjusted” “okay-are they loose or too tight?” “they dont fit behind the ears” .....i guessed that much but HOW do they not fit? too tight too loose too smth else add to that i couldnt even do much because the material was too hard by now so...eh lucky for me because we didnt have to sit around too long and wait but also fucking christ

we were open since 9am you really couldnt have found any other time except 1min before closing? aka 4pm? really? are you sure that was soooo necessary but not necessary enough to not come by ANY other time?

#txts #the right on closing time gets me #ofc our chef had a case of brainweirdness and kept the keys so we couldnt close at .59 #but had to wait #and so we had to take this customer #so important much money gained #and much appreciation too i am sure w/ how curt i was being #i am speedy and i can rush but also......just....do that monday #you held out so long hold out a little fucking longer OR come earlier #the guy whose glasses were apart-yeah he had an emergency and i fixed that 10mins before closing as-fucking WELL btw #but.....glasses being a bit loose behind the ears? #fucking push em up the like 3mm they could slide down for an extra day are you kidding? #rant #venting #saturdays are stressfull anyway and we had a rly full week w/ a lot of dumb shit #god so many idiots too #so i am done this is all #we AGAIN had about 10 customers per worker today all within 7hours of being open #and also had to give the finished glasses out w/ also came up to the same amount <3 #i.am.tired

[dontmeanyoudontmissit]

.

#My sister is getting a kitten tomorrow and I am trying SO hard not to be a joy thief about it but I think it's a bad idea #I would love to be wrong but like. #Their current cat is crazy. He is friendly as heck but has no boundaries and is a bit territorial #They frequently go away for 3 days at a time (which just makes me sad for the cat(s)) #And a kitten is SO much work and it's the holidays?? #They are looking at buying a house and stuff and their place is fairly small #Anyway I think it's going to be tough and it's dumb to get a kitten two days before you're basically out of town for 48 hours #But what do I know #The only two times I've lived with a baby kitten one was very needy attention wise and benefited #From an older cat teaching it some things #And the other time idk how the cat was cared for because I was never home and then it was taken away #((but also I'm probably a little jealous because I feel like she has her life figured out and I do not. Which is a bit of a thought #Distortion))

[trashmuis]

Update on the wig situation:

New wig came in. It looked so bad - but mostly bc it looked nothing like the advertising really? Gave emo boy vibes. Returning ASAP

*Sigh* I'm not sure if I should just look for another one and give it another go, or if I should just keep what I have, and again, be a fem Chop Top. I mean, I do look, y'know, feminine, so. Maybe it would still work out best for me?? It'd be a different twist on the character anyway that's for sure... I am a psycho girl anyway irl obv 💯🔥

But... I also could maybe just cut some of this wig I have, because it has the right amount of fluffiness that I'm looking for, it just needs to be short. I have to cut the bangs some anyway bc they keep getting in my eyes. I don't want to fully mess it up if I don't know what I'm going though.

Decisions, decisions...

DOUBLE UPDATE: I went ahead and bought a different one actually. If this one also sucks, then I'm over it.

#I'm conflicted. #I love this idea of looking accurate but i dont look that accurate anyhow bc he looks like he weighs 30 lbs wet and i am uhhhh not that #Plus i got like some bobbs and hips and ass and he's only got one of those 3 things #I do kind of like how the wig I have frames my face a little bit too #I feel like I have a lot of things i still need to do for the costume like the pants need to be sewn and the necklace needs to be made #I need to stain and dirty the shirt i need to dye the vest I need to sew the bag I need to attach buttons #I need to fit the teeth do my makeup test #If this was the Summer i probably wouldve just tried to be Stretch for the convention so the time crunch wouldnt be so much #But I will freeze if I wear shorts and that top out there #Also i love Chop and wanted to do a costume for him anyway at some point i just am dumb for waiting kind of last minute. ah well. it's fine #I won't do all the tags this time bc i feel like im bothering with these kinds of posts lmao

[jyoongim]

Heyyy, it’s me again, the singer anon. Can I request an Alastor x Reader where she is sent by as a spy by Vox after our fav slithery boy failed? She’s really bubbly and friendly, but she eventually grows to care for everyone in the hotel but Vox owns her soul. She torn in between getting herself killed by him and not betraying anyone anymore, or continuing the job. She goes and confesses to Alastor, breaking down and thinking he’ll kill her, which she thinks would be best so she doesn’t have to betray anyone anymore. Just breaking down in tears telling him she doesn’t want to hurt anyone but Vox has her under a contract, begging him to kill her so she doesn’t have to. Just for Alastor to call her a good girl and ughhhh some possessive smut if you don’t mind? Sorry brain rots in my head and I’m in love with him, lol. Thank you! <3 also the three requests story set off the trigger in my head, loved it! Thanks again! <3!

This been in my inbox for weeks and i finally got a plot for it!

⚠️warning: 18+! Smut smut smut! Plot if you look hard enough!

—————————————————————————————

No one suspected a thing.

You were sent to the Hazbin Hotel after Sir Pentious miserable attempt.

Your orders were simple: ”Keep an eye out on that old fossil. I want to know why that fucker is sucking up the Lucifer’s daughter”

And you did just that…you were executing your mission flawlessly.

Until you began to care about those who stayed at the hotel.

Until you began to grow closer to the Radio Demon.

————————————————————————————

You had been staying at the hotel for a few months now and its been great!

Charlie was always finding new ways to help the residents build bonds and encouraging everyone to do their best.

At first, you were arrogant, playing along until you actually saw the the demons there were actually changing even if they didn’t admit it

But now, you thought of the princess as a friend, along with everyone else.

Especially Alastor.

Now that you’ve been around him, you’re not sure why Vox hate the demon so much.

Alastor was funny, kind (in his own twisted way), and truly looked after the hotel.

A soft smile curled on your lips as you thought about the demon, but the ringing of your phone interrupted such thoughts.

Vox.

You took a deep breath and answered “H-Hello?”

”Tonight’s your chance to take out that prick and after that come home” he demanded.

You blinked “what? B-but Vox…” you bit your lips “But it’s actually nice here. The hotel isn’t a scam…a-and everyone is a lot nicer than we thought ” Vox laughed “Oh baby please! Nice? You actually believe in that redemption crap? You think that they’ll let you stay if they knew why you truly were there? Hahaha! Oh my dumb little girl, how naive you are. ” 

You pouted, a frown on your face “I want to stay”

Vox growled through the phone “ah ah baby you don’t make demands remember?” 

Electrical shocks ran through your body from the collar you wore.

You gasped in pain “I OWN you. Did you forget that? You do whatever I say when I say it. Now I expect you home before morning or I will kill you.”

The phone call ended and you were in tears.

You didn’t want to go back.��

You liked being at the hotel and able to be yourself. 

You liked the friends you had made here.

You would do anything for them, even if you had to die to make your wrongs right.

————————————————————————

“Come in” the voice answered after you knocked on the door. You were sweating as you stood outside of Alastor’s door.

You had decided that if you were going to tell anyone why you were at the hotel, it would be Alastor.

You opened the door and walked into his radio studio.

”Hey Al” you said weakly as the demon spun around and smiled at you “Hello darlin! What do I owe the pleasure?”

You fiddled with your hands.

”I want to tell you why I came to the hotel”

Alastor quirked a eyebrow, smile widening as he gestured for you to take a seat on the couch.

”Do entertain me of your tale my dear”

You were in tears by the time you finished telling Alastor everything.

Of Vox and his plan.

The deal between you and Vox.

The reason you came to the hotel.

Everything.

”I-I’m sorry! So so sorry! I-I just didn’t know what to do!

Kill me! I deserve it! J-Just let me say my goodbyes first. I would rather you kill me than Vox! Please!” You cried, hands covering your face as you sobbed.

Alastor had been quiet for the entirety of your confession. He had half a mind to kill you when you told him of your deal with Vox.

The pesky television didn’t know when to mind his business.

His eyes focused on the collar around your neck.

 You were Vox’s and by contract, he wasn’t allowed to kill you.

And he wasn’t. No he had grown accustom to the pretty demon who seemed to light the hotel’s halls.

However…he could override Vox’s ownership of your soul.

You flinched when you felt a large hand pat the top of your head. You looked up through teary eyes ay Alastor, who just sported a soft smile.

”Now now my dear don’t you worry. I appreciate that you came to and confided in me. What a good girl you are.” His smile stretched as you sniffled, looking at him with glossy eyes.

”Y-Youre not g-gonna k-kill me?” You asked looking down.

He chuckled as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, claws finding their way under your chin to make you look at him

He rolled his eyes ”Oooh my dear of course not…” His fingers trailed down your neck, toying with your collar. “But I am in a bit of predicament”

You wiped at your eyes “how so?”

“Under normal circumstances, I would rip you to shreds and broadcast your screams for all of Hell to hear” his pupils turned to dials and his smiled turned wicked. You felt your heart stop a little.

He calmed down slightly “however I have another idea to break your deal with Vox” 

He smiled at you as you tilted your head in confusion.

”I know just the thing hehehe”

————————————————————————————

You whimpered as you tried to hold yourself up against the force of Alastor’s thrusts. “A-Al!” You whined as the demon tugged your hair to pull your body into his. A deep growl vibrated through you as Alastor sunk into your weeping heat, his cock hitting that soft spot inside you.

“Fuuuucckk!” You hissed, eyes rolling into your skull as your body buzzed with pleasure.

Alastor pulled your body til your back was flushed against his chest, his sharp teeth nipped at your skin before latching on and marking you. You winced as his tongue lapped at the blood, he purred as trailed his tongue up your neck.

”To think Vox had such a sweet cunt all to himself. Ooh darlin you’re wasted on him. But you’ll be a good girl for me wont you? You seem to love having a real cock fucking you” he chortled, giving you a harsh thrust. His hips grinded up into your ass, coaxing your cunt to take every inch over and over.

Your gummy walls tightened around him as you whined at his words. You could barely focus on what he was saying, not giving two shits either as he bullied your insides.

”I-I can be a good girl please please oh fuck! Aah! Aah!” You whined. Alastor’s large hands trailed up your body; kneading, pawing, and squeezing at your supple flesh. Pausing at your bouncing tits to tweak your hardened nipples, sending currents to your abandoned clit.

“I know you will baby” 

He nudges his head into yours, to gain your attention and capture your lips with his, swallowing your moans as one of his hands moves down to toy with your puffy clit.

Your body jerked as he rubbed tight circles on the bud; your cunt fluttering as slick dripped down your thighs.

”Ill make a deal with you darlin” he whispered against your lips, lidded eyes staring into yours, as you mewled, wanting his tongue back down your throat. 

“I keep this little mishap under wraps and in return you belong to me. Youre free to do whatever your heart but im no pushover m,a cherie.”

His thrusts sped up as he pinched your clit.

You keened, pushing your hips back into his, trying to follow the motion of his fingers, seeking to reach your orgasm.

”Do we have a deal?” He purred never breaking his pace.

Your collar let out blue sparks, Vox’s way of ‘reinforcing’ his control over you. You whimpered as the shocks edged you, but Alastor let out a deep growl as he wrapped his claws around the collar.

”Do we have a deal?” A snap of his hips pulled a moan from your throat.

”oh! Yes! Yes! F-fuuuc-cckk”

Static ran through your body causing you to jerk as your orgasm washed over you, your collar fizzled out as Alastor’s cock pounded your cunt, riding your orgasm out.

The wet SQUELCH! Of your cunt echoed as high pitched whines left your throat. 

“That’s a good girl. Cummin all over my cock. Feels better than that robot huh? Yeeesss fuck! Take my cum darlin take it”

Your eyes crossed as your mouth opened in a scream. Alastor crashed his lips on yours, tongue pushing through your lips and pulling you into a heated kiss as he pumped you full of his cum.

Alastor let out a sigh as he slipped out of you, cock coated in creamy essence and smiling as he watched your cunt clench around nothing and dripping cum.

In your dazed state, you faintly heard a snap and a cool sensation coated your neck.

Instead of the sapphire jeweled collar, a gold chained ruby hung from your neck.

Alastor hummed as he rubbed your tired body, smiling wickedly as he slotted back into your soppy heat. You moaned softly as he rolled his hips against you.

”now lets send that mediocre podcast a proper video”

#hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #alastor #alastor x reader #hazbin hotel fanfiction #jyoongim #alastor the radio demon #alastor x y/n #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor smut #vox hazbin hotel #sir pentious