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strwbrythoughts · 2 days

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time's up | dr. veritas ratio

The doctor - also known as your husband - has come to refine your problem-solving skills, particularly in mathematics.

A/N: This man is insufferable but I simp because smart + muscles = hot!!! Also can you see me projecting onto this and wdym i don't like triangles, ngl i accidentally switched to first person pov at the ending 💀 this is why i need to find time to write in my busy busy schedule

Divider by @/osqrie

"You have 15 minutes to solve these questions. You may begin."

The soft click of the digital stopwatch in his right hand sounded louder than ever to your ears. Your eyes went from his soft, smiling face - which in itself, was a rarity - towards the questions printed on the single sheet of white, A4-sized paper on your desk. They were all mathematics equations. Every single one was an integration-related question.

You always thought that you could escape the topics you didn't like after finishing your studies in the undergraduate level. Life had been pretty smooth-sailing after graduation; you opened a cute and cozy bakery, you married a genius, lived in a comfortable home, have and maintain a loving relationship...but this. This was the least of what you would expect. Being tutored and tested on the one subject you refused to take back in university.

Or perhaps it was your mistake when you told him your weak points in the academic aspect of yourself. That was a side effect of marrying a genius, you supposed...or a 'Mundanite' as he would use to refer to himself.

But you couldn't think of that now. You had a test to complete, and you didn't want to receive his punishment for not being able to do so within the given timeframe. His eyes could be felt on you, as if burning into your body and directly gazing at the very essence of your soul. The rise in your heartbeat and downturned gaze highlighted how nervous you felt to answer this paper.

After taking a deep breath to clear your head, you observed the questions carefully. There were 3 questions, and all of them were pretty easy to solve (or at least, that was what the instructions said). The first two questions were fine; only including polynomials and exponents respectively. As you got to the third question though...you couldn't say it was 'fine'.

It included one of your most disliked topics...trigonometry.

Granted, the trigonometry was pretty simple, but you never seemed to be able to wrap your head around how so many formulas could be derived from them. When Veritas explained it to you in one of your tutoring sessions, you asked for more breaks than usual since you had put a barrier in your mind; 'I will never understand this'; which in turn, made the topic seemed harder than it actually was.

The soft 'ding!' of the bell on my desk reminded you that you had five minutes left for this last question. You gulped, hoping your nervousness would be swallowed away as well. His eyes were glued to the back of your head; not that you dared to look behind my shoulder at the moment.

Every second counts after all, even if you had no clue what steps you should take to solve the problem on the paper.

Your brain seemed to malfunction and your memorisation skills failed you right this moment. You didn't remember the basic formulas, and you didn't know how to derive them from the triangles either. With no viable options left, you decided to unleash your expertise; cooking up your own theories.

'Ah, he's definitely punishing me for this...' was the only thought floating in your brain. Autopilot mode was switched on, and your hand glided across the paper, writing down whatever nonsense that seemed to be related to trigonometry, regardless whether they were correct or not.

The digital stopwatch in Veritas' hand had reached its last minute; the fifteenth minute. "Time's up," his voice bounced off the white walls right into your ears. "Put down your pen and stop writing."

Although reluctant, you did not wish for a heavier punishment. His words were followed by the sound of the pen being put onto the wooden desk. Within seconds, he was stood right next to your desk, using his index finger and thumb to pick up the piece of paper.

His eyes scanned my answers, going from left to right as he inspected each line of working. There was a faint smile on his lips...until it was gone.

Gulp.

He had definitely seen the absolute mess you made on the last question.

A slam onto the wooden desk; you swore you heard the wood crack a little bit. "Did I not teach you this last question?" You could barely reply. His tone was dripping with condescension, but you didn't take offence from it. Both you and him knew he had the right intentions, but his ways wouldn't be able to satisfy everyone.

"You did! I...I just didn't like it."

Veritas let out a 'tsk' thrice, seeming almost animated as he did so. "You do know what you have to do now, right? So come on, what are you waiting for? Is time not ticking?" He took a seat on his chair, eyes looking straight into mine.

You sighed, preparing your facial muscles...as you climbed into his lap. Ah yes, the 'one hundred kisses or you're not leaving this room' punishment. A classic, really. Your lips peppered his face, landing on each part like the first snow of winter; gentle and heartwarming.

"Lunchtime is nearing, so you better carry out your responsibility quickly and dutifully, dear. You'd hate to have lunch at 4 PM again, hm?"

Ah, crap! He was right! Better get to work now!

Thank you for reading!

#berry writes #honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #star rail #star rail x reader #dr ratio #dr ratio x reader #veritas ratio #veritas ratio x reader #hsr veritas

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writers-potion · 1 day

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So I am writing a love story and i don't want it to be cliche. I've done enemies to lovers but can you do different prompts for other love archtypes

Romance Prompts By Tropes

There are so many romance subgenres/tropes you can choose from! I’ll jot down a few that come to my mind, please adapt/change them for your story!

Please refer to my arranged marriage prompts, relationship tropes, library romance prompts, and soulmates AU posts for more inspiration.

Love Triangle Prompts

A love triangle between a psychic, a greedy nobleman and the ghost of his dead brother.

A demon and an angel find themselves trying to tempt the same person…with unexpected circumstances popping up between the three.

Secret Identity Prompts

The MC finds out that their love interest is actually royalty/the secret police/an assassin hired to kill them(?)

The love interest is actually the doppelganger of the MC’s first love. If the doppelganger is to survive, they must kill MC’s first love (if doppelgangers meets, the love interest would die)

The love interest turns out to be the MC’s worst enemy...in the virtual space

He’s a romance writer. She’s someone who learnt romance out of books - his romance novels. As they date, she keeps quoting HIS cheesy lines back at him, and he’s too ashamed to admit that he’s actually the author of the books she’s read.

She’s a witch undercover who’ll never admit she fed him a love potion. He's a cupid in disguise who accidentally made a witch fall in love with him.

Friends to Lovers Prompts

The MC goes through old photos and realizes that all the people they dated were some versions of their best friend.

Getting fake married as kids and family members rewatching the video of the fake ceremony to tease…when sparks fly

Opposites Attract Prompts

Two strangers meet as volunteers at the local animal shelter - one to see the cats and the other to play with the dogs.

He's a starship captain from Earth. She's an alien with plans on attacking Earth. His mission is to convince her that humanity is worth saving . . .

In a fantasy world when the good and bad are constantly at war with one another, the villain’s secretary and the hero’s assistant realize that they’re just two very overworked employees.

Hope this helps :)

──�� ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* . ───

💎If you like my blog, buy me a coffee☕ and find me on instagram!

💎Before you ask, check out my masterpost part 1 and part 2

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ninimuhllover · 2 days

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"Tease"

Pairing:Nika mühlx!fem!reader

Request:hi pooks!! if you want tooooo can you do something for mika where reader is an acedemic weapon and mika is infatuated but doesn’t really think reader is gay because she’s so girly and nika always blushy around reader and like paige and kk always tease her??

Warnings:kinda smut?,making out,teasing,fluff,angst kinda,cursing,reader referred to as she,her,hers,no use of y/n,metion of nikas accent

How is she so gorgeous and smart at the same time thought nika while smiling at the girl she hasn't been able to stop thinking about since the first time she met her "girl" Paige said beside from beside me "what?" I said "you down bad" kk said laughing "she's not even gay" I said looking down "why don't you ask" Paige mentioned for the thousand times "no" I said fast "well she's walking over now" I whipped around and she was in front of me "hey guys" she smiled talking to us my mind went dumb as I just stared at her "um Nika about that project you wanna come to my dorm to work on it" she said "huh oh yeah s-sure" I stumble on what to say "okay I send you the room number see ya" she smiled again at me while walking away her perfume sent slowly went away she was wearing a different lip gloss today "yeah look at you!" Paige said while shaking my shoulders while laughing I smile "maybe this will make something happen between you two cause damn" kk said I rolled my eyes while walking out of class to here my phone buzz I open the notifications to see a message from her

Her: room number is 437

Me: thanks

Her: no problem

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚Time skip˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Reader pov

I put the last pillow on my bed when a knock at the door made me turn the music off and I walked to the door and open it seeing Nika on the other side nervously playing with her hands "hey come on in" I say smiling at her closing the door behind her "you can sit wherever" I say to her "she looks around the room while sitting at the door of my bed kinda awkward I hold my laugh at this I sit down by her "what were you think for the project?" I ask her she blushes "idontreallyhaveanyideas" she rushed out "huh" "I don't really have any ideas" she said slower blushing hard "oh well we could do a power point" I say "is that okay with you?" I ask "uh yeah yeah" she said fidgeting and looking anywhere but me "are you okay you seem nervous" I say putting my hand on her knee

Nika pov

Her hand on my knee sent sparks through me "yeah I'm good" I say Shakey "you don't seem like it you want a water" she said getting up "uh sure" I say she walks over to her small fridge to grab me a water bottle I look around her room noticing a small lesbian pin on a bag in the corner"here you go" she said handing me the water and I took a sip of it "thank you" I say feeling a bit better from the interaction with her hand on my knee "I'm gonna grab my bag laptop bag so we can start to work on the project"she said grabbing the bag I was looking at just a second ago sitting on the bed and pulling her laptop out "I like your pins" I say touching the one I had most interest in "oh thanks" she said while typing on her computer "where is your accent from?" She asked I blush a bit "oh I'm Croatian" I say smiling"mm I've always wanted to visit there" she says while smiling at me "yeah you'd probably like it"I say "you really like that pin" she says looking at my hand still touching the pin "oh sorry" I say moving my hand"no your good and yes if you where wondering" she said confused I said"huh" she looked at me"I am a lesbian if you were wondering" she says smiling at me "oh" I say my stomach was doing flips and I was trying to not smile to hard

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚Time skip˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

"no because she had no right to look this fine" she says as we watched the movie on her laptop "for real" I agree with her while looking at the screen when my phone went off to see a message from Paige

Paige: how long y'all gonna be freaky it's 7:45

I look at the message and see she saw it too"i don't know what she's talking about sorry" I say fast trying to put my phone down fast while looking at her. Her face flushed red "it's okay" she laughed kinda nervously "she's just talking I swear-" I was caught off by her lips touching mine and her hands on both sides of my face I felt like I was floating my hand went to her hip and my other on her neck the kiss getting heated she climbed on top of my lap sitting down while not breaking the kiss my hand moved down to her hip her hand now on my shoulders she pulled away and started to kiss down my jaw I let out a breathy moan as she kissed behind my ear "your so pretty baby" she said while kissing my neck I grabbed her face and pulled her back to my lips "your such a 𝙏𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚" I say with her lips on mine while she smiles she pulled away "I've wanted to ask for a while but will you be my girlfriend" she said "yes" I said kissing her again when my phone started to ring I pulled away reluctantly and answered

"hello"I say into the phone breathlessly

"hey I was just making sure you were still alive but it looks like I was right on the freaky part" I hear Paige say on the phone

"oh shut up" I say when she starts to laugh I hang up after saying I was okay and look back at her "hey is it okay if I stay" I ask nervously "yeah if course" she says while cuddling up to my chest I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her on the top of her head I soon hear small snores coming from her I close my eyes and fall asleep

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚Time skip˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

I walk into the gym with my bag on my arm and kk comes running up while jumping "yeah okay girlypop I see you" I blush knowing what she's talking about "shush" I say "is that what she told you last night" Paige said from beside her "maybe maybe not" I say confidently "oh okay so boom tell me what happened now" kk said laughing "nuh uh that's my information" I say while walking to the locker room "oh so that's how it is" she says while walking with me and all three of us walk into the locker room "yep that's how it is" I say laughing

﹒⪩⪨﹒

Kinda short but I loved this idea @julienbakerloverr pooks I hope this was good sorry it took a while though I didn't know how to start it but anyways ignore spelling mistakes and punctuation I hope you enjoyed it and please please request please don't copy me my work with out asking 🩷🤍

#nika muhl #nika muhl x reader #nika mühl smut #seattle storm #uconn women’s basketball #wnba basketball #wnba

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hogwartslegacyreactions2 · 2 days

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Can I have a reaction to Hogwarts Legacy students and professors to a female hufflepuff MC who owns a chinchilla

They have the softest fur on the planet

Only eat hay and special pellets ( no fruit or veggies in their diet) they can have certain dried herds and flowers though

Sorry about all the chin facts I own one

My little girl is all white with dark grey ears and some grey on her face and base of her tail with the pinkest noise

Please and thank you

A/N: I've had the honor of petting one once, they are the softest creature in the world ❤️ Thank you for the reference photo ❤️❤️

HLC REACT TO F!MC HAVING A CHINCHILLA

SEBASTIAN SALLOW: "What in Merlin's name- no, forget Merlin, what in the world is that??" He squints and looks real close at it. Gets right up in the floofy rodent's face. So close that the chinchilla sniffs his nose back. He huffs and gives a little smirk. "Adorable...just like its owner." He throws a cheeky wink at MC.

OMINIS GAUNT: He trusts MC wouldn't put anything terrible in his hand when he was asked to hold it out. He feels the light weight of a small soft creature on his palm. He brings his free hand up to lightly pet it and he smiles. "It's quite soft, MC. Is this another one of your beasts?" He doesn't give the chinchilla back for quite some time, they even take a nap together.

ANNE SALLOW: "I've never seen anything like it!" She gazes in amazement and holds out a treat MC gave her to give to it. She's very curious about the chinchilla; where it came from, how long has MC had it, etc. She hopes MC brings it with her every time she visits.

IMELDA REYES: "Is that a rat in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" MC's chinchilla was indeed hanging out in her pocket. She tells the same joke every time MC is around in the hope she'll get to see the baby. She doesn't lose her mind over its cuteness but she wants to pet it every time it's around.

NATSAI ONAI: She sneaks extra snacks for the chinchilla all the time. She also lets it sleep in her robe if MC is busy. She loves pet sitting. She's also fascinated by the chinchillas tiny hands, they can grab things??? Like a people??? Weird.

GARRETH WEASLEY: He's never seen fur like what the chinchilla has. He's very curious if it has any unique properties. Don't worry, he would dare take a pair of scissors to such a precious creature, but when MC is cleaning its cage, will she spare a few furballs?

LEANDER PREWETT: He struggles to maintain his composer when MC is carrying around the little fluff ball all curled up in her arm. It's. Too. Cute. It's unfair how cute it is! When MC lets him hold it for the first time, he cries. He's not allergic, his eyes are sweating. Stop pointing it out.

AMIT THAKKAR: His only hang up with the chinchilla is that it chews on everything. All of his books have teeth marks on them from the chinchilla sneaking a nibble when no one was looking. Nevermind his quills, parchment, shoes, and even his wand. Is nothing sacred?? He's gained the habit of watching it like a hawk when MC brings it around.

EVERETT CLOPTON: "Hehehehe, Levioso." Whoosh the chinchilla is in the air and very confused. Any retaliation from MC is worth it. It's funny watching the little chinchilla get so confused by suddenly leaving the ground.

POPPY SWEETING: She has to cover her mouth to muffle the squee that escapes her as to not draw attention, but she is losing her mind. The chinchilla is the absolute cutest thing she has ever seen and that is saying a lot. She steals the chinchilly away every chance she gets, straight up runs off. Her chinchilla now, bish.

~~~

ELEAZAR FIG: He doesn't mind pet sitting when MC is out and about for extended periods of time. He and the chinchilla get along quite well. However, when he himself gets buried in work sometimes he loses track and has to go digging through his office to find where the chinchilla scampered off to.

MATILDA WEASLEY: "As long as you follow the pet guidelines set by the school, your unique pet is welcome. That said, this is quite the curious creature. How did you acquire this?" She studies the chinchilla and gets it a little pat.

CHIYO KOGAWA: "Cute." Is all she says about it. She's not a big pet person. Nothing personal.

AESOP SHARP: His initial reaction is just a dismissive "hmm" when MC shows it off, but later on, if the chinchilla escapes, it finds its way to the dungeons and into his classroom where it sits in his lap and he mindlessly strokes its soft fur. It's very therapeutic. Would want to pet again.

ABRAHAM RONEN: "A chinchilla! Holy guacamole those are rare in these parts. Where did you get it?" He examines the chinchilla closely and rubs its ear.

MIRABEL GARLICK: "Oh my, aren't you just the most darling thing I've seen!" She excitably comes over the chinchilla and bounces in place when she gets to pet it. "Oh! It's so impossibly soft!" She orders seeds of plants native to Western South America and grows a few just for MC's pet.

MUDIWA ONAI: "Well, this is one unique creature. I see you two have a very special bond." She delights seeing the chinchilla.

BAI HOWIN: She reminds MC to keep plenty of fine dust available for their pet to roll in. "Scotland gets a lot of precipitation and moisture isn't good for their coats. Keep them dry and healthy." She hands the little chinchilla a pellet.

DINAH HECAT: She smiles as she pets it. "I had a chinchilla when I was little. Stole it from a merchant who wasn't too good at taking care of his merchandise. Nursed him back to health. Had him for twelve long years. Good years..." She tears up a little, but makes no fuss of it.

CUTHBERT BINNS: He doesn't really notice. Thinks the chinchilla is an extra small puffskien or something.

SATYAVATI SHAH: "No thank you, I do not wish to pet your chinchilla. Please finish your star charts." Doesn't even look up from her work.

PHINEAS NIGELLUS BLACK: "Ew, take your fat squirrel and get out of my way. I have important business to attend." He walks away with his nose in the air.

#hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy reactions #hogwarts legacy professors #sebastian sallow #ominis gaunt #anne sallow #imelda reyes #natsai onai #garreth weasley #leander prewett #amit thakkar #everett clopton #poppy sweeting #eleazar fig #aesop sharp

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caughtthedarkness93 · 1 day

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So I just saw Furiosa and first, yeah, the reviews are right, it's really good, but second, it's interesting because the trailers had me primed to look for allusions to Greek mythology and similar allusions to classical epics there were...well, enough that I don't think it was an accident. Most centered around the villain, Dementus.

Like to name just a few (Possible spoilers)

• Dementus' first vehicle is a chariot pulled by three motorcycles.

• The red cloak Dementus wears calls to mind the visage of a Roman emperor.

• He moves on Gastown while someone is copying a painting that I believe is of Odysseus and the Sirens the painting Hylas and the Nymphs by John William Waterhouse, which, while not a direct reference to the Odyssey as I was thinking, is till a painting that depicts a story from Greek mythology. Thanks @kobresias!

• When moving on Gastown, he uses a Trojan Horse tactic. The actors involved in this scene are literally credited using the phrase "Trojan Truck." I did not pull the Trojan Horse thing out of my ass.

• Most notable of all, Dementus' truck has a Cerberus motif. He has three dogs that are kept in a cage on the back - and with their three heads sticking out and the rest in shadows, they have a profile that looks like the three-headed hound of Hades quite a bit. And lest you think I'm crazy...

Look closely

It's got a Cerberus hood ornament.

I think I'll have to see it again before I make any really strong judgements about it. There are, of course, arguable parallels to the Odyssey and the Iliad, given that Furiosa is 1. a story about a long and difficult journey home, like the Odyssey, and 2. a story about a warrior's rage - which...well, no matter the translation, one of the first things that the Iliad talks about is Achilles' rage or wrath.

But maybe there's more to it, yeah? I dunno. I'm not sure what to make of this one let. Any thoughts, anyone?

#furiosa #george miller #mad max #mad max fury road #furiosa a mad max saga #film #movies #film critique

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colourme-feral · 3 days

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I liked the narrative beats of this episode and thought that some random translation notes would be fun for 25 Ji, Akasaka De / At 25:00 in Akasaka ep 6.

But I'm not gonna do weekly translation notes for this show unless I see something I really wanna make a post for.

Note: The word used in Japanese here is for the anatomical term for heart, rather than the word for heart, which is used for where feelings are stored.

Even if you understand it logically/in your mind, there are times that you may not understand how it actually feels, aren't there?

Well then, wanna come to my place today?

Even though we're a couple, it's lonely (for me). Note: He's referring to them their agreement to act as a couple, not that they are really dating.

But if I stay here, I'll take up your time. You aren't. Rather, don't go home. I asked you to come because I wanted to see you. Note: The word that Yuki uses is "stealing" Asami's time.

Even though you were busy, you met with me for my sake.

This guy... there's someone he's never been able to forget.

There's no way I can go, of course. Note: And then he went. This clown, I tell you.

There may not be anyone he likes any more at this moment.

Note: He actually says "nijikai", not another bar, which is the term for a second round or afterparty, where people will go to a different location for more drinks. It doesn't have to be a bar and can be karaoke too. Some people will leave after the first round, so the next round will have fewer people and may be more informal than the first round. Sometimes, there is also a "sanjikai", which is a third round. Naturally, drinks will still be involved. (more info)

You've worked hard. Note: They exchange "otsukaresama/otsukaresama desu", which acknowledges and serves as appreciation for the work that the other has done. (more info)

Thank you for everything up to now. Note: Yuki is thanking Asami in the past tense, because he's ending their agreement to be in a relationship that would help Yuki understand his character.

I now am able to grasp/understand Takumi's feelings. I'm fine now and no longer need to rely on Hayama san anymore. There's still more filming to do. Is that alright?

You've done enough (for me). You don't need to do any more than this.

25 Ji, Akasaka De / At 25:00 in Akasaka language notes・Other language notes

#25 ji akasaka de #at 25:00 in akasaka #language my love my pain

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ovaryacted · 1 hour

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HANDSY

PAIRING: Jackson! Joel Miller x afab! reader

SYNOPSIS: Your cycle is ruining your mood, and what better thing to do than get a free massage.

CONTENT/WARNINGS: MDNI/18+. NSFW. Suggestive content. Titty massage. Slight daddy kink. Established relationship. Joel being a little bastard. Ambiguous age gap (Joel is in his 50s, reader is in their 20s). Mentions of menstrual cycle and female characteristics about the chest. Banter and teasing. No use of y/n.

WC: 1.2k

A/N: Alright, I'm kinda on a Joel Miller streak and I was just thinking about getting my tiddies rubbed by a man with strong & rough hands and this happened. Don't look at me like that okay, this is self indulgent and I just had to alright. Hopefully this is relatable for some of y'all lol. Shout out to all the baddies who gotta deal with periods, you are stronger than the marines. Anyways, likes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated! Dividers by @saradika-graphics.

➣ TLOU was created by a zionist and is based off of the Israeli occupation of Palestine. Please refer to this link to learn how you can help the Palestinian people.

NAVIGATION | MASTERLIST | AO3

Another month. Another week of unruly irritation, mood swings, and uncomfortable reactions to anything that breathed too hard or moved too fast. In the hecticness that was your current reality, dealing with the devil’s wrath was supposed to be something that slipped past your mind. Yet, in the efforts of your survival, having a menstrual cycle still took you off guard every time it came punching through your gut.

Tossing and turning in bed, you tried to get in the best position to ease your cramps by curling up in a fetal position. You thought it would make things better, but instead, the discomfort you felt all over your body pissed you off even more. A frustrated grumble filled the bedroom, flinging the sheets away and furrowing your eyebrows at the lack of relief.

Where the fuck is he?

Throwing on a pair of slippers you luckily claimed on a supply run, you shuffled down the creaky stairs of your home and wandered about until you reached the living room. Joel was hunched over his seat on the couch, currently messing with his guitar strings, aware of your presence the moment you hit the base of the stairway.

“Somethin’ wrong, sweetheart?” He questioned you as he took in your features and noticed your pout. You were upset; that was obvious when he found you in bed earlier today instead of somewhere else in the house. Simply kissing your forehead and letting you rest as best as he could, he expected you to come down to talk to him eventually when you had the energy to do so.

Joel didn’t say anything as you came closer to him without uttering a word, slipping your legs over his thick thighs and pressing your face into the curve of his neck. He put his guitar to the side and wrapped his strong arms around your waist, hands instinctively digging into your lower back where you felt the most sore. He could tell from the way you clung to him that it was that time of the month, already having gotten used to your changes in demeanor to see the signs.

“Uncomfortable?” Joel asked again, trying to get a better read on your emotions, but he only received an annoyed grunt in response. “Guess we’re just gonna sit here then.”

He ran his fingers up and down your spine, trying his best to lessen the strain you felt. He could snag some herbs to make you tea later if you were in the mood for it, but right now, a massage is what you could handle. His touch made you sigh with alleviation, focusing on the pressure points along your shoulder and backbone. Even with his attempts, the front of your body continued to ache.

“My boobs are fucking killing me.” You declared out loud, a deep rumble of a chuckle escaping from the back of his throat.

“You need me to massage them?” Joel offered, and his intention of doing that was purely to make you feel better. Though, you couldn’t ignore the slight flutter in your belly at the idea of having his hands elsewhere.

Giving him a nod, you sat straighter on his lap, holding his gaze as he slipped his hands underneath the flannel you wore and made a beeline for your chest. Joel didn’t flinch at the fact that you weren’t wearing a bra, being told once or twice how freeing it was not to have to deal with the constant friction of clothes against your heated skin.

He palmed both of your breasts and squeezed, his grip just strong enough to calm the throbbing of the swelling from your change in hormones. Your eyes closed as you focused on his touch, allowing Joel to do whatever he wanted with you, what he knew best.

“Feelin’ better?” You heard him ask, humming out in reply. He grinned at your reaction, the hum sounding close to a purr as he pawed at your chest.

Taking his hands out from underneath your—his shirt, you whined, a smirk tugging at the corners of Joel’s lips. Lifting the top of the flannel to rest on your collarbone, his attention went back to your breasts, looking at them with a mix of desire and affectionate pity.

“Poor baby. Hormones got my girl all cranky and upset.” He said, placing a soft kiss on the top of each breast before handling your body once more. You don’t know whether or not he was deliberately teasing you when you were the most vulnerable, but just hearing his voice was doing wonders to soothe your nerves.

You’ve always been fascinated with Joel’s hands since you met him, watching how he’d hold the handle of his gun or insert ammo into the magazine before reloading. His palms were rough, and his fingers were rougher, representing a man who’s lived a long life, who’s done unspeakable things to survive and get to this point. To most, they’d dislike the feeling of having so much of a contrast, but to you, the difference of his skin against yours was almost euphoric.

Joel squeezed with more purpose, focusing on tightening his grasp along the sides where the pain was the most prominent. One harsh thumb came to stroke at your sensitive nipple in gentle circles, pulling a breathless moan from between your lips. The smile on his face widened when his ears picked up the sound, moving to do a combination of deliberate squeezes and circles on the exposed nubs.

The warmth of his touch morphed into something else, need coiling in your stomach and clawing up your throat. As discretely as you could, your hips shifted further into his, craving much more than what he was giving you. Joel couldn’t help himself and brought you closer to him, grinding his hips up into yours. That got your attention, looking into his hazel eyes to find his pupils narrowly dilated.

“If you need me to rub somethin’ else, I can.” Despite the years worn on his face, he still had a certain boyish charm that jerked at your heartstrings when he flirted with you. Or, maybe it was just his southern gentleman persona, ever so willing to tend to your needs no matter what they may be.

“You’re annoying.” You mumbled to him, stubbornly refusing to outright beg for his affection, regardless of how badly you craved it.

“And you’re moody.” Joel kissed you tenderly, drawing away and snickering when you leaned forward to chase his lips for another.

“Let daddy make you feel good. Alright, darlin’?” You nodded dumbly at the proposition of getting something more than your tits massaged.

His eyes flashed with lust, making quick work to peel off the flannel and toss it to the ground. Already growing hard at the thought of having his way with you, he tilted towards you, kissing the column of your neck and letting his beard tickle your skin. You released a shaky exhale, fingers running through his graying hair and tipping your head back to grant him more access to your skin.

“Atta girl.”

©️ ovaryacted 2024. Please don’t repost, copy, translate, or feed into any AI. Support your fellow creators by reblogging, commenting, and liking!

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black-arcana · 1 day

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New LACUNA COIL Album To Arrive Before End Of 2024

In a recent interview with Brazil's Sonoridades Inc., singer Cristina Scabbia of Italian goth metal veterans LACUNA COIL spoke about the progress of the writing and recording sessions for the band's follow-up to 2019's "Black Anima" album. She said (as transcribed by BLABBERMOUTH.NET): "I can't really tell you a lot. I can tell you that we are progressing very fast. We are almost, like, 100… We completed, let's say, the demoing. We still have to record the rest of the songs, but we will soon — probably after the tour, after the [May 2024] North American tour. And if everything goes as projected, before the end of the year [it] will be released. And that's already a big news, because we always say, 'We don't know. Maybe.' … I absolutely love the songs. I'm part of the process. But I'm very pleased."

Asked if LACUNA COIL's 2023 single "Never Dawn", for which the band partnered with CMON, the renowned board game publisher behind the popular game "Zombicide", will be on the upcoming album, Cristina said: "I think it will be. I think it will be, 'cause it will make sense. And it also fits with the other songs — it really fits with the other songs. Many heavy songs."

LACUNA COIL has just completed the "Ignite The Fire" U.S. tour with support from NEW YEARS DAY and OCEANS OF SLUMBER.

Last month, LACUNA COIL released another new single, "In The Mean Time", featuring Ash Costello of NEW YEARS DAY. The song's title is a reference to the mean times the world is living in, as well as a reference to the state the band itself is in, between cycles.

When "In The Mean Time" was first made available, LACUNA COIL said in a statement: "'In The Mean Time' is a reflection on how much our society has generally 'lost the plot'. We are living in really mean times filled with unhappy people: lonely, anxious, depressed, destructive. The pressure that crushes from the outside doesn't allow us to see things with the right clarity.

"This song is like group therapy: not a lamentation, but acceptance that once broken, it's hard to put oneself back together again.

"We need to take our minds off all the inescapable toxicity and find that there's so much more to this life… and know that in the meantime, everything cannot be aligned.

"We invited Ash Costello from NEW YEARS DAY to feature on the track and we're thrilled she came on board adding exactly what we needed for this song with her warm voice and charisma."

Costello said: "I am deeply honored to join LACUNA COIL on tour for the first time, to have the incredible opportunity to lend my guest vocals to a new track and appear in the music video. Working alongside the powerhouse vocalist Cristina has been a privilege, and I may be biased in saying that 'In The Mean Time' has quickly become my favorite by LACUNA COIL. Its message about embracing individuality and not conforming deeply resonates with me."

Last July, LACUNA COIL released the official lyric video for "Never Dawn".

LACUNA COIL has spent some of the last couple of years promoting "Comalies XX", the "deconstructed" and "transported" version of the band's third album, "Comalies".

"Comalies XX" was made available on October 14, 2022 via Century Media Records.

LACUNA COIL celebrated the 20th anniversary of "Comalies", by performing it in its entirety at a one-night-only concert on October 15, 2022 at Fabrique in Milano.

"Comalies" was originally released on October 29, 2002 through Century Media Records. The LP, which featured the band's breakthrough single "Heaven's A Lie", has reportedly gone on to sell over 300,000 copies in the United States alone.

Photo credit: Patric Ullaeus

youtube

#cristina scabbia #lacuna coil #new album #interview #Youtube

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vhsgoghs · 2 days

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sleeping problems (Valeria Garza one shot)

Valeria Garza x female reader

Summary: Valeria wakes up during the night and finds that her girlfriend can't sleep. note: English isn't my first language but i have done my best, sorry for any mistakes.

★ masterlist here

It was 3 in the morning when Valeria woke up, she rubbed her eyes and headed to the kitchen to drink some water. She was still quite sleepy, barely noticing where she was walking, and the darkness of the place didn't help much.

There was a small light in the kitchen that her girlfriend always left on before going to sleep. It wasn't enough to illuminate the kitchen completely, but it was enough for her to take a glass and pour herself some water.

There was nothing but the silence of the night and the light clink of the crystal glass. Until a voice emerged from the darkness.

"Couldn't you sleep either?"

The glass slipped from her hands, crashing against the sink and spilling the little liquid that was left, luckily it didn't break.

"Puta madre, (Y/N)!" Valeria gasped in surprise.

She turned to find a small silhouette barely visible in the gloom. Her girlfriend was sitting in one of the seats at the bar, she could barely notice a glass in front of her, she had her elbows resting on the bar, but nothing else was visible.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to scare you," the girl said with a grimace. She got up from her seat and took the few steps that separated her from her girlfriend.

(Y/N) surrounded her with her arms and Valeria soon did the same. The height difference wasn't much, but Valeria was a little taller, especially when she wore those horrible boots that she hated, she said it added too many extra inches to her and made her feel even smaller.

"I thought you were in bed."

"I couldn't sleep," she murmured, avoiding mentioning that she hadn't been able to sleep well for weeks, always waking up at the same time every night.

"And what was that lump on the bed?"

"My favorite stuffed animal and a pillow, maybe." The girl giggled. It hadn't been her intention to leave both things under the covers like that, but apparently it had given the impression that she was still there.

"What happen?" Valeria removed some strands of hair from the girl's face, she just sighed and laid her head on her shoulder.

It could be Valeria's natural smell, mixed with the shampoo she always used when showering at night before going to sleep, but something had made her feel more relaxed, causing her to close her eyes for a few seconds, as if she were trying to record that moment in her mind.

She had learned to appreciate every moment with her. She was afraid that one day the phone would ring and would realize that she would never see her girlfriend again.

"About what?" she asked, not understanding what she was referring to.

"Why you can not sleep?"

"I don't know," she answered without hesitation.

She was not lying. In reality, she didn't have the slightest idea why she had started waking up during the night or she just couldn't sleep, despite being completely exhausted when she got ready to sleep.

"Do you want me to help you sleep again?" Valeria murmured. Her lips brushed the skin of her shoulder and there was a suggestive tone in her voice that made the youngest smile.

"It's only been a couple of hours, do you still have the strength for another round?"

"Well, that's the good thing about being with a girl," she joked.

(Y/N) didn't know if it was true, but she couldn't help but let out a little giggle. She had discovered that was interested in girls at an early age, when she entered high school, was a girl who first caught her attention, but Valeria had been her first real relationship or at least her first serious relationship. She had never been with a boy and she had never wanted to, and now even less than ever.

"No, I'm fine, let's go to bed."

Valeria nodded. She felt how her girlfriend intertwined her fingers and gently pulled her to start walking next to her.

The silence of the house seemed suffocating, they couldn't even hear the sound of their footsteps because none of them were wearing shoes. (Y/N) looked around her when they entered the room, looking for their little pet, she had insisted on having a foster child in their relationship when they moved in together, and although she preferred a dog, Valeria was a cat person.

Shortly after, a black fur kitten that was up for adoption came into their life. Valeria had named her Neblina. She used to leave the house at night, but would return about an hour later. (Y/N) hated that, she said something bad could happen to her.

Valeria wrapped her arms around her waist when she noticed that she was starting to worry about Neblina again, gently pushing her towards the bed and causing them both to fall, (Y/N) let out a whimper and stirred gently in her girlfriend's arms.

"Stop worrying," she murmured, knowing perfectly well what was going through her head.

"If something happens to our daughter, it's your fault." She frowned a little, she didn't sound upset, just a little worried. She had that fake tone of voice when she wanted to pretend that was reproaching something, but she found it very difficult to get angry with Valeria.

The words "our daughter" coming out of her mouth managed to stir something in her stomach.

"Nothing will happen to her, you know that she always comes back an hour later." Valeria left a kiss on her forehead and felt how she relaxed in her arms.

Several seconds passed in silence, until they both decided it was time to get back under the covers. Valeria always slept on the left side of the bed and (Y/N) on the right, it was something unconscious that they had started doing when they started sharing the same bed.

"Go back to sleep," (Y/N) whispered. Valeria looked at her for a few seconds before she turning back around.

Valeria frowned, confused, she didn't seem angry or like she didn't want to talk to her, it seemed more like she felt guilty for waking her up, even if it wasn't her fault. It had been Valeria herself who got up to drink some water.

(Y/N) felt arms surround her again and, seconds later, her girlfriend's breath hit her cheek. Valeria placed a soft kiss on her skin and although she couldn't see her, she could feel her shake her head.

She wasn't going to fall asleep if her girlfriend's head was full of thoughts and she couldn't sleep. It seemed… selfish to her. Maybe it wasn't the right word, but Valeria had always cared about her, if she had a problem, she always looked for a way to help her and not being able to sleep seemed like a big problem.

"I won't go to sleep if you're still awake." (Y/N) sighed. She hated when Valeria did that. In reality, she didn't hate it, but she felt guilty. "Tell me about your day."

(Y/N) sighed, trying to review her day. She had once told Valeria that her therapist said that one way to fall asleep was to talk about things that had happened to her or plans she had in mind for the near future.

She had laughed, it sounded stupid and it was the first time she had heard a therapist say that, but surprisingly, it had worked more than once. Her mind became distracted, she stopped overthinking those things that kept her awake, and eventually she fell asleep.

She couldn't believe Valeria still remembered that.

"I ate a salad," she started to say, but immediately stopped when heard her girlfriend laugh. "What?" She asked annoyed.

"Salad? Again?"

(Y/N) rolled her eyes. Valeria always made fun of her when she ate salad, not because it bothered her, but because, strangely, she always ate the same thing and it was always exactly the same salad. It's not that she starved herself, actually, it was one of those salads that had chicken and thousands of things.

But, at that point, she had eaten the same thing so many times that Valeria had begun to find it funny.

"Let me finish!" She reproached and her girlfriend just nodded and remained silent. "Neblina and I took some photos and watched movies."

"You two took photos?" Her girlfriend nodded. "Can you send me them?"

"So that?" (Y/N) had begun to play with Valeria's fingers that were around her waist.

"I want it to be my wallpaper."

The youngest giggled and turned around to see her face. There was some darkness in the room, but she could see her face perfectly. (Y/N) always left the bathroom light on and the door slightly open to prevent the room from being completely dark at night.

Valeria felt that she had done something right, because her girlfriend's body was no longer tense as before and a small yawn had left her lips. She was sleepy again.

"If I don't forget it tomorrow, I will do it."

Valeria nodded. She watched as her girlfriend had placed her head close to her chest. She couldn't see her clearly, but she could tell that her eyes had begun to close.

"Are you going to sleep now? Now I'll be the one with insomnia," she joked.

(Y/N) laughed again, her laugh sounded slow and muffled due to her sleepiness, at any moment she would fall asleep and that was enough for Valeria to know that she had done a good job.

Several minutes passed in which neither spoke, her eyes had closed and soon her breathing became calm, indicating that she had fallen asleep. Valeria smiled, her girlfriend asleep and completely at peace was the best thing she could see. She placed a kiss on her cheek before lying down to sleep as well.

When she was about to close her eyes, a noise caught her attention. Her gaze went to the window, only to see Neblina, who had returned from her night walk.

And Valeria smiled before finally closed her eyes to fall asleep.

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tansyuduri · 2 days

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Merlin Loregasm Rewatch S1E8

Hi Everyone! Welcome to my rewatch of Merlin focusing on the lore. I am a giant nerd so pretty excited about this. We’re on THE BEGINING OF THE END

So Mordred and his possible father come to Camalot for suplies. Okay the only reason for a druid to come to Camelot for supplies is that it cannot be found anywhere else. The man he talks to looks to be a Spice and Herb Merchant. If it was an herb that just grows only in Camalot you would think the druids would find them themselves. This argues it's an herb of spice that is NOT native to Albion. JUDGING from this we can say Camalot likely has a very impressive trade network going.

If we go out on a limb we can say its likely actually more impressive than it's neighbors. Because why not just get it from another kingdom otherwise? I'm going out on a limb because if they needed it urgently enough they might have no choice but to use camalot.

So the guy snitched on them to the guards or the guards found out he was selling to druids and made him play along. If its the first it's not the only time we see common people seeming to agree with Uther and the no magic ban. I think this hints as I mentioned in the first one of these that magic was used for more "Bad" things then just Arthur's birth around that time. I think this has really intersting implications on magic returning to Camelot that we see in a lot of fics because there likley would be People VERY against that ruling. and not just nobles. Though I'm sure minds could change.

So I've been starting to notice that people tend to use a lot of different hand gestures for magic. (I think sometimes people use none at all will keep an eye on that) But I just think it's intersting. It doesnt always have to be the full hand out merlin tends to use. I keep wondering if the choices mean anything. Are hand gestures nessasary? Is it just what the sorcer feels like and Merlin is all Go big or go home with it?

Same dude different hand gesture. I think its whatever you vibe with.

Arthur: The druids are a peaceful people

Uther: they preach peace but conspire against me

Okay but is there a druid conspiracy? We know by season 5 some of them had turned violent. But was that because Arthur didn't immediately bring back magic? Or was there a sect from the beginning?

Yet Arthur talks about them being a peaceful people. Is this just commonly held knowlage? WHERE did he learn that from. Not from Uther by the looks of it. OMG DID HE LEARN IT THAT TIME HE RAIDED THAT CAMP AND THEY DIDN'T FIGHT BACK OR SOMTHING? Or did he learn it from someone else. Gaius perhaps? Also lets talk a bit about druids Historically. Druids were high ranking members of a Celtic priestly class

They served many purposes from being In charge of legal proceedings, to being religious leaders, To being healers, to Advise in politics, to keeping lore. to divination. Only we don't really know what lore. See druids while thought to be litterate did not write anything down, Its thought their doctrine forbade it. So they likley had a strong Oral history but most of what we know actually comes from the romans and the greeks. They are first mentioned in writing in the 4th centery BCE by jullious ceser. byt the second century BCE they were pretty much whiped out (Thanks rome) However there are mentions of them in tales throughout the middle ages. Druid Lore according to ceaser was make up of a huge number of memorized verses and it could take up to 20 years to learn. Because this was Oral it was pretty much lost when they got wiped out (Thanks again rome.) So the druids passing down the Prophasy of Merlin and Arthur fits their MO they are also said to be exampt from military service so so does being a peaceful people. However from what is recorded they were again more a priestly class then a specific people. While it is mentioned later that druids looked for people with magic skills to train they are refered to as a "people" not a class. HOWEVER Again everything we know about them comes from the assholes who wiped them out (Thanks rome) so who even knows how accurate some of it is.

Okay so the Triskel symbol I get. It could represent earth water and fire, or the tripple godess. BUT WHAT IS THAT AMULET I think it might just be a very weird variation on the symbol for Yule.

Maybye. Perhaps. Possibly. The only other thing I could find is The Axe of Perun. Slavic God of Lightning. what is known a "hatchet amulet" And yeah I don't think its that. It could also mean nothing at all, but for this rewatch we are refusing to go down that road.

Dad has one too... I think it must mean something special to the family or group of druids Mordred is a part of. And likley something to do with yule.

Mordad: (Yes we are calling him that) You have let your fear of magic turn to hate. I pitty you.

Is he refering to the purge? Or was Uther always afraid of magic? We know he welcomed Nimue. But was that only for using her for the make Arthur ritual? I gotta wonder. And evaluate my headcannon about Nimue being court sorcerer. I think there are references to her I frinds with Uther. I'll keep an eye out.

Merlin: Do you know much about the druids

Gaius: very little, They're a very secretive people, especially now that they're being hunted by Uther. Just wanted to point out the reference to them being a "people" And how this is possibly another reference to their Oral tradition. Gaius would not have been able to read much about them in books.

Merlin: I heard the boy calling out He was nowhere to be seen, But I could hear him like he was inside my mind.

Gaius: Yes I've heard of this ability.The druids look for children with such gifts to serve as apprentices.

So there is a training system with apprentices, and it's not all families, I wonder how many people if any are born into being a druid. If the children are adopted, and how they get the children. "Your kid has magic bro, send them with me? Perhaps it was viewed as a great honnor in the old religion?"

Heather has a lot of uses herbally so it makes sence Gaius might need a lot of it. It can treat Arthritis, inflammation of the joints and muscles, kidney stones, inflammation of the kidney and bladder, Some eye diseases, Bronchitis, diarrhea, high blood pressure, Even Anxiety or sleep disorders. It's possible he even uses this as part of Morgana's treatment.

So this is a white paste he uses to treat Mordred's infection, I can only guess that it's mostly made up of mashed garlic. (possably baking soda) Which would in fact treat infection, However, its said later this was not useful. He must have put something else in it that was wrong. Or its made up of somthing else.

Emrys does in fact mean Immortal in Welsh and in the original wealth legends Merlinw as known as Myrddin Emrys The greek version is "Ambrose"

Merlin: how does the boy know who I am. I've never even met any druids

Great Dragon: There is much written about you that you have yet to read

Wait so do the druids in merlin actually write things down? Perhaps they write down some things but not central doctrine. Killy mentions this in response to Merlin's question so it kind of implies the druids wrote things down. HOWEVER these things must not be for general people to see because only certain magical beings and the druids refer to him as Emrys. ALSO how does Mordred know he is the Emrys. Do the writings actually describe him? Is it because he mind talked and is near Arthur? I expect its a bit of both. It cannot be because magic since Morgana has that too.

This is a good point. It it the seer in her showing her though instinct? That's my theory. I mean we know Arthur and Merlin have a mental connection that is used twice, but it seems different.

Okay lets talk about this. We know Uther conqurred the kingdom when he was around Arthur's age in season 3. So early 20s. But Anarchy? Thats big. That means government did not exist or had no control over the people. WE know There were earlier kings of Camelot than Uther. (Bruta who we will talk about eventually) So what would have led to Anacarchy?

My guess would be a succession crisis happened. Small lords who had a blood claim were so busy fighting each other that no actual governing happened, As they fought borders changed and so what might be law in one land could then be different in a day. None of them were undisputed leader so there was no leader.

Now often historically when this happens a kingdom would split and become a lot of smaller kingdoms. However, we know Camalot is pretty big. My guess? Uther was one of the possible claimants or a blood relative so distant that no one took him seriously he then defeated all the other claimants and conquered the kingdom. This is a pretty impressive feat.

Now he likely would want to legitimize his claim (As many new rulers try by having a child or themselves marry someone who will help or give status) and that might be why he married Ygraine du bois. The Du Bois family is ancient in France. and can be traced back at least as far as the 9th century (More on them in later posts) Anyhow this is just my speculation based on what I know of history and such.

The implications of Arthur knowing how to send word to the druid people are huge. HOW does he know to do this? Did he know of a former druid living in Camelot? I can't think he actively has communications open with them. My guess is this: Arthur knows of some merchants that do trade with the druids, He found out about it somehow, but did not tell his father. Thus he could use them to make sure a message reached the druid people.

#merlin loregasm rewatch #merlin meta #merlin lore #bbc merlin #merlin lore rewatch #merlin bbc

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ybklix · 3 days

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Salvatore

♡ hwang hyunjin

⤷ intro

⋆cw: mention of suicide ⋆notes: narrated from fem character’s pov. the character narrates the circumstances that lead her to meet hyunjin, in later parts. updated masterlist here! •⩊•

a/n: i had this in my drafts i just decorated a little to post it (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

chapters one & two

ONE

word count: 986

The world seemed to move the same. But it wasn't, she was missing. The days are long and the nights are a living nightmare. I don't think I'll ever get over something like that. The huge emptiness, the deep sadness and the endless constant guilt that kept repeating in a loop and managed to slowly consume me as I lamented over and over again for not being able to avoid something as terrible as death. Suicide.

A supposed suicide.

But it happened. And there was nothing else to do. The important issue, is that I would never see her again, or hear her, in the presence of her.

I think every second of the day I found out and the heartbreaking memory it was to say goodbye to my sister forever. The desperate, heartbreaking screams of my mother, dressed in traditional clothes on the most horrible day of our lives.

I don't think anyone ever thought something like this would happen. Much less in the way it happened… it was totally bizarre, as if I suddenly didn't know the person I was bound to by blood, forever; until now. Suddenly everything got weird, she stopped calling home, but I tried to go on with my normal, carefree life; as I didn't want to intrude and I assumed she had a busy life now, plus the time difference could be annoying at times.

Even so, what kept me motivated was that soon I would go to see her, it was only two weeks away… I would go to visit her, I would see her apartment and we would walk around the city. But suddenly nothing. Just a great upheaval in my soul.

Even so, in my ignorance, I continued with my activities. I was visiting my friends, graduating from high school and getting ready for what was next in my life, a university life, in the career I had shown interest in for a couple of years; unlike my sister, for me it was in the city near our childhood home, only a little more than 2 hours away in Rome.

It had been a while… yes I was curious about what was going on in her life; but with Bethany you never knew what her next move was. She was like that, spontaneous. Quite the opposite of what I thought I was. At 16 she left home, with the help of my parents convincing them to study out of the country, to a place far away but not foreign to our family.

She loved to talk, to explore, but with my parents she was always serious and distant, almost as if they dulled her glow. So taking advantage of them to alienate herself was the best decision she could have made. She shone on her own, for a period. Until it managed to extinguish itself so suddenly. Without explanation, leaving a huge void in the people who truly appreciated her, in me.

I guess things like this just can't be explained.

I can't even process it, my empty stomach is spinning, the insomnia became real and the tears are hard and burning as they slide down my face.

Despite all the chaos formed; seeing my sister there, lying motionless and lifeless —an action I didn't have the courage to take until the last moment before she was taken away—… I thought and thought about certain things, like how we were somewhat alike, about the fact that when an idea gets stuck in our minds… it's impossible to get out of there. I was more rigid; I wanted answers and kindness was not my forte, as she was. Charming, pretty, brave.

This couldn't stay that way. Not just like that. There had to be an explanation and I wasn't referring to needing it for my loss and despair. I was thinking logically, I guess, I need her. This wasn't just happening for the sake of it.

I hadn't slept in days. I guess I was losing track more and more, if it was Wednesday, if it was the fourth; not since what happened. I guess when this kind of thing happens you really seem to tune out. During the dark nights of that hellish summer I manage to remember moments… of which keep me afloat and think how sad it is that I haven't spoken in days and no one seems to notice. Everyone was immersed in their own world dealing with something like this; just like now.

I remember being 6 years old and she was 11, playing that we were looking for a reward chest, mysteries to solve that after all I took a great liking to… as Bethany explained that if it something happened there would have to be a reason, even if it was pure spontaneity… there was the cause. So why… why leave without even a letter. Should I have been a better sister and noticed the signs of depression? If I had paid attention, so I could have avoided it, none of this would be happening?

Why would the person who since she was a little girl kept firm and mature ideas standing, determined to her philosophy suddenly decide to leave like this. Something strange was going on… or she was just going through a mourning that was hard to accept.

The whole world was going absolutely crazy. Or at least mine. Because that was all I have. All I know, unlike my sister, I wasn't as adventurous, or a born visionary as she was.

I just lived in the present and that was my problem. Bethany always seemed to have a bundle up her sleeve, just something new and fun so she would never get stuck and bored.

But my days in my comfort zone were coming to an end. From now on. I would finish whatever Bethany couldn't and find out the truth because something deep down inside doesn't seem right, my heart tells me so.

And when an idea like that happens… the universe knows I could become someone else.

TWO

word count: 1.7k

It all started a while ago, years ago. 7 years ago to be exact, during the spring. Bethany was enthusiastically showing me, with a big smile on her face and her school uniform on, pictures taken in the park near her high school, with 3 of her friends, Mia, Isabella and Chiara. She had told me how Mia was able to buy a digital camera and then take them pictures, she thought it was so much fun.

I know now, that that evening was more than just one of her types of goodbyes, as she was planning something that day that suddenly changed everything.

We had just left school. She was leaning on my bed holding the pictures she had taken with her friends gently passing them, one on top of the other. I don't remember the day but it was maybe, sometime in April.

Bethany asked me if no one else was home besides me, leaning against the edge of the doorway before making herself comfortable in my room. I replied that our mother had most likely gone out to buy something.

I asked her about the sudden interest, more as an automatic response than out of curiosity, “why?”, “I have to tell them something”.

I didn't make a big deal out of that sentence, I didn't want to intrude plus she quickly changed the subject. At the time I was eleven and Bethany was fifteen, a month shy of her sixteenth birthday.

She told me about her friend’s plans, Chiara's trip to Ibiza, Mia at her grandmother's vineyards and Isabella's summer job helping her mother at her store. When I asked her what she would do a grimace appeared on her face, unsure and doubtful of what could be the right answer; from which I assumed it was because of our parent’s sudden change in not spending the summer in Seoul, as every year, but to wait until the winter vacations, where it would now be with our aunt, for the island. It was usually on both occasions when we would visit South Korea, to be connected to that part of the family we shared with our mother.

I remember suggesting to her to go to the beach, both of us; which she complied with at the end of May, a week before she left home. We had our 3 days at the beach, under the Fregene sun, eating soft ice cream. Only 40 minutes from Rome by bus, and just over an hour by train. I remember everything so well. The sound of people talking, the sound of the sea, Bethany's noisy sandals slapping the sand and my mother's sudden cursing in her first language, sitting in that blue beach chair with her hat. I loved the beach, every aspect of it… My sister seemed to be darker, and tended to like to play hide and seek, being a big part of the crowd, under the city lights, I always thought the town we grew up in was never for her. So she found her place once she got away from us.

After the first day Bethany's friend had joined us, Isabella. At times I watched them primp and preen, in awe; ready to stroll through the noisy city, leaving me wondering what two teenagers were supposed to do when you feel the city belongs to you. Giggling, putting gloss on her lips and high heels, glittery eyeshadow, fixing her hair between the two of them, once again leaving me with ideas in mind, like whether I would ever do those simple little things with my older sister once the age difference is not so stark and when I'm no longer a child. Once I start getting interested in those things more and more; maybe when I'm 15 too. But Bethany wasn't around after I turned eleven. I did get interested in those things and I did it too but with friends. During those nights, I would just stay up late with my parents, watching TV; waiting for Bethany to come back. But that day in April, after dinner, with both parents gathered; after clearing the table and cleaning up, when I was finally supposed to go to my room, I stopped to listen to what Bethany had to say.

The sentence was as simple as: I want to go to study in Seoul. Finish my high school and start college there. And all of a sudden. Silence. I couldn't see them but I could perfectly picture the scene in my head; of which it was approximately like this, with the two of them sitting, slightly leaning on the table, Bethany standing in front of them, with her hands together, a gesture she used to make when announcing something. The bright light of the room reflecting on my sister's forehead and the confused face of my mother, who suddenly started speaking to her in Korean, in confusion, her confused expression permeating my mind even though I didn't see her, what, "what are you talking about", she would suddenly say in her strong korean southern accent.

I can't quite memorize what my exact thoughts were at the time… as I just wanted to hear everything and then generate an opinion. I guess it just took me by surprise too.

She went on to explain that, for some time now she has been in close contact with Joomi, a cousin a year older than Bethany whom she is very close to, and spends all her time wiith her, whenever we go to visit. She said that they talk a lot on the internet and that she somehow managed to convince her to study there and rebuild her life in that faraway place.

She argued with a tone that tried to persuade them, saying that she had all the support of my uncle's family, my mother's brother. That if they allowed her to have that opportunity there would be no reason to let them down and she would finally be fully connected to her roots that our mother instilled in us so much.

Her answer was no. No from my mother. A 'I don't know' from our father.

2 days later, Bethany received the final answer. She would finish the rest of the school year and leave for the summer to try to adjust and go to study at the same school as Joomin, living under that family's roof.

My mother just wanted her to suddenly connect with what she suddenly felt was lost and out of her hands, among her other two older siblings, she had been the only one to marry a foreigner, migrate and raise two of her daughters in a different culture than her own… and suddenly her first born had the idea to take a big step… it was hard for her; especially when her future was strictly planned, to graduate at the top of her class and continue her studies at the university in Rome. It was surprising the sudden change of plans, especially when my mother had everything in the palm of her hands and with how extremely stubborn her character was; but her older brother managed to interfere and persuade her; he promised to take care of her and love her like another daughter.

And I knew all this from Bethany's spontaneous change of mood, her smile was bigger, her eyes sparkled and she had her characteristic grimace of when she manages to win or something goes as planned, in victory. I was told in detail a week after confirming to her that yes, she would be leaving.

Honestly at the time I don't think I said any words; there was nothing clear to say… other than "wow, I really hope everything goes very well". And I meant it with my biggest will and heart.

I guess I stayed in shock for a while until I saw her leaving, boarding that plane; that's when I could finally come to my senses. I saw my mother and then my father, simply letting his first 16 year old daughter leave. It was all confusing, I thought everyone over there was trying to run away from the school system… I guessed Bethany really had a plan.

And she did. She even managed to get into college… but the career of her choice was not at all satisfactory to my parents. It was, to a certain extent, disappointing, causing Bethany great sadness, I could feel it in her eyes that summer when we went to visit her. Suddenly she would contact us less, making excuses that if we were to see her that summer, her stay would be short because she would be very busy… which, what was once an annual visit, became a very irregular tradition, every two years… separating us little by little.

The first three years were strictly adhering to the family rule of our annual visit to my mother's and Bethany's home country, who unlike me, I was born in Italy, like my father. During that period everything seemed fine; my talks with Bethany consisted of being amazed at how much I had grown up, apparently, what I had made of my life in Italy and simple things like that… until the year she entered college, during that summer, the pressure from my parents was very high; Bethany tried to remain calm, but nothing worked out for her. The following year, she announced the news of her career causing discontent. I tried to cheer her up and that somehow created a bond again in us that I thought was lost, since she left I felt she was not the same person I admired so much, suddenly her life was a mystery to me, who her best friends were, her life at school, her daily routine, even everyone knew her by her Korean name, she seemed like someone else.

The change in her was there. For good, while she could. And for bad when the poor thing felt she was the family failure. Despite the estrangement between our parents; Bethany always tried to keep in touch with me, calling constantly, leaving e-mails in my inbox, giving me little things that reminded her of me… the truth is that I found it tender and funny the way she didn't know me, since with her demonstrations of affection she reminded me how much she was stuck in my tastes when she was 10 or 11 years old. But that quickly and without warning turned into 15, 16… the age when she left.

Despite all the ups and downs… I never really knew the way her life was, her own life thousands of miles away from me, still, I tried to be close.

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