Nasonov
We cling to the dandelions’ edges west of the basswood stump, the grasses slumped and gone to seed, the dew-wet scraps of late-summer leaf-falls, while the must of petrichor and moss is on the air. For a moment one of us is solitary, joined with the distant clouds and pink-tinged sky, testing subtle pressure and humidity shifts, and then her message returns to us in pure chemical lucidity—a message something like the color blue or an open flower, or a limitless horizon from behind which intoxicating scents float.
Now we are one again, fixed in wanderlust and a compulsive yearning that thrums with our wings, go, go, go, go now, we go now; this is our voice as it swirls below the hex-door, and we swarm out, the tendrils of a great sun at the honeyed heart of the world. How good it is to be among the Searchers.
We rove. Our antennae twitch, gently scraping the air and gathering scent-fragments—dust, soil, peeling bark, swelling fruit, grass, water, animal hair and blood, disease, one another.
And—sweet, holy, inexorable—the flowers. Now, now, now, the ritual-hail burns inside; we fix on our flowers with antennae struck forward ..-.-. alone now.
Joined: the flower and something with yellow fur on its back, something that wears no name. We (the flower and I) approach each other; it shines more violet than violet and speckled in pink. Smell like the deep beat at the wood-heart, the god-heart, the body lurched upwards to a green and wet heaven; yes, this is a dark one, dark and cloyingly sweet. It is the best. It is always my flower that is the best. Drinking, pressing, peeling back, and pollen-heavy stamens brush against legs and leave a holy residue. This is our exchange.
Then we pull away from our flowers and we are together again. Any kind of singular yellow-furred being is forgotten, but the memory of the flowers is fixed and shared with the rest. Each which gave good nectar we mark with a message, so that other Searchers may drink as well. Now the compulsive desire returns, go, go, go now, but it is not for something unknowable and wide-open. It is for the close, clear sweetness of home. An unbearable nostalgia washes through us.
We turn back towards that great sun and hex-heart of the world, the daughter of the still-greater Sun which burns above, who is the mother of the flowers and of us. We will not turn towards that Sun until the end, and then—they say—we must make the journey alone.
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1. Worker honeybees secrete Nasonov pheromone to guide other bees to nectar-rich flowers, or back to the hive.
2. Honeybees often return to the hive before storms—it is uncertain how they are able to predict the weather.
3. Honeybees can detect ultraviolet light.
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Pink Pastels Pt 17
Description: It's a three-day weekend, so you go out dancing, run into Miguel, and Gabi does her own investigating.
Pt 18
You’re really not sure how you didn’t make the connection between Miguel and Spiderman before. They have the same build, similar voices, they do that same head tilt thing, and they call you cariño, along with a few other heart-stopping petnames.
“Y/N, y/n, earth to y/n.” Janey is waving her hand in front of your face, her bag on her shoulder.
You snap back to reality and scroll past the news footage of Spiderman saving a bus full of senior citizens. “Yeah, sorry, I’m listening.”
“Are you? Because Principal Alan just emailed us saying a water line broke, so school is canceled tomorrow, and I was trying to tell you about it.”
“Really? So, we get a three-day weekend?” You set down your phone, face down, so you aren’t tempted to pick it back up and obsessively search for more footage of Spiderman.
“Yeah, so I’m thinking we go out tonight?” Janey suggests a mischievous expression on her face.
“Oh no, no, are we going to one of those weird clubs where all the drinks aren’t called what they actually are, and the DJ wears a mask or something weird like that?”
Janey rolls her eyes playfully. “I take you to one speakeasy that’s a little weird—”
“A little? Janey, people were having sex just like, on the floor.”
“That is not usually a part of it, that was really weird.” Janey admits, giving you an apologetic smile. “But still, I know this new club, it’s really cool, and not weird at all.”
Janey is a liar. The club is super weird. All the employees are dressed in an odd sequined fabric, the drinks are dirt cheap, the DJ keeps switching up the songs halfway through, and the whole place is housed in an abandoned hospital.
“Janey, this place blows, can we please leave?” You shout over the music, trying to pretend you’re not grossed out by the couple making out on a decades old hospital bed.
“It’s an experience, y/n, just relax, have another drink, if the music doesn’t get better by the time, it’s midnight we’ll leave.”
You look at your phone, it’s eleven thirty now, you can tough it out for thirty more minutes.
“Okay, but you get my drink, and I’ll save our spot.”
Janey smiles and thanks you, then disappears into the crowd.
You sway to the music, watching the others around you. Everyone seems to be having a lot more fun than you. Then the song changes, the bass so loud you feel it in your chest.
Janey returns and hands you your drink. You both clink your plastic cups together and down them.
“Oh, that is so bad, ew, ew, ew, what the fuck was in that gasoline?” Janey crinkles her nose, coughing into her elbow.
Yours was pretty bad too, but you’re used to drinking shitty drinks from your time with Todd.
“Let’s just dance, I kind of like this song.” You say, holding your hands out to Janey and pulling her further into the crowd.
You leave the club right at midnight, pleasantly buzzed but not drunk, and you two share a cab back to your apartments, with Janey promising that next time she’ll pick a better place.
You wave goodbye and take the elevator up to your apartment, smoothing out your dress in the reflection on the doors. Tight, low cut, a gorgeous color, you love this dress because you just look so damn good in it.
Part of you wonders what Miguel would think of it. You toy with the idea of knocking on his door, pretending you need his help with something but think better of it. It’s midnight, Gabi is most definitely asleep, you don’t want to accidentally wake her up and have her see you in a clubbing outfit.
The elevator doors ding, you step out, and run straight into Miguel.
He looks you up and down, then cocks an eyebrow. “Night out?”
You try to subtly tug down your skirt. “Yeah, but it was kind of lame, so we left early.”
His eyes flicker behind you. “We?”
“Janey and I.”
He visibly relaxes and stretches his arms behind his head. “Can’t sleep, thought I’d go for a run.”
Your eyes drink in the bend of his arms, the flexing of his muscles through the long sleeves of his form fitting gray shirt.
You want him bad, so bad you start to open your mouth to say something you’ll blame on the alcohol flooding through your system, then you remember Gabi’s face. How she clung to you crying, how scared she was that you’d never come back.
You can’t mess this up, can’t throw yourself at Miguel just because he’s kind, smart, handsome, a good dad, and he eats pussy like a fucking champ. You have to be smart about this, it’s not just you and him, but you, him, and Gabi. And you will never do anything to hurt Gabi, and you’re sure neither would Miguel.
“That’s too bad, hopefully it’ll tire you out.” You say, forcing yourself to meet his eyes and steady your breathing.
“And what about you? Up for a run?” His voice dips low, and you know exactly what he’s asking.
“I can’t.” You say even as you scream internally, the parts of your brain fueled by lust cussing you out six ways to Sunday. “I’m so beat, and I’ve been drinking, it wouldn’t be a good idea.”
Miguel scans you once more, then nods. “Take an Advil before you go to bed, I’m making you breakfast, I’ll see you at ten.”
You buffer for a moment. Is he asking you out on a date?
“If you’d like, no pressure.” He backtracks, rubbing the back of his neck, his expression sheepish and nervous?
Is Miguel O’Hara nervous?
You step closer to him and brush your painted lips across his cheek, leaving a perfect imprint of your lips, the pink of your lipstick complimenting his tanned skin. “I’d like that. I’ll see you at ten.”
Then you slip into your apartment, flop down onto your couch, and scream into the nearest pillow.
“Lyla?”
“Yeah, Gabi?” Lyla pops into the room, her form dimmed to match the low light of her room.
“Is Papá here?”
“It looks like he’s in the hallway with y/n, do you want me to tell him you’re awake?” She’s sitting beside Gabi’s bed now, a concerned look on her face.
Gabi turns onto her back, staring up at the glow in the dark stars on her ceiling. “No, it’s okay.”
Lyla hums in response. “Anything else kiddo?”
“Can you see if Ms. Y/N is single?”
“Sure, one second.”
Gabi hugs her bear tighter as she waits.
“She is, and it looks like…oh, ya know what, maybe your dad should tell you this stuff.”
“Lyla, come on, I thought you were cool.” Gabi pouts, sitting up in her bed and staring at Lyla’s shifting form.
“Ugh, okay but, promise me you’ll tell your dad you heard about this on the news or something.”
“I promise.” Gabi says, rubbing at her eyes, sleep already pulling at her, beckoning her back to dreamland.
“Todd Jameson, twenty-six, found dead in the Brooklyn River. Apparently, he was pretty scratched up, but that was probably from the stuff that was in the river.” Lyla bites her lip then continues. “Anyways in other news, a water pipe burst in your school, so you get a three-day weekend! That’s super exciting, congrats, kiddo.”
“No school tomorrow, yay.” Gabi yawns and lays back down, snuggling closer to Oso.
“Yep, no school, so just get some sleep, okay? Don’t think about anything but how much fun you’re gonna have with your dad on this three-day weekend.” Lyla urges, her tone soft as Gabi drifts off to sleep.
“Promise me you’ll tell Papá that Ms. Y/N is single.” Gabi insists, fighting sleep like a wild honey badger.
“I will, I promise. Now sleep, three-day weekend.”
“Three day weekend.” Gabi whispers, her head drooping, and her breathing evening out as Lyla dissipates from the room.
Miguel checks his watch to see a message from Lyla.
You couldn’t have been any more subtle with his death, could you?
He chuckles and dons his suit. Looks like he needs to get rid of a body.
Posting this while I wait for my flight bc I couldn’t wait any longer to get it to y’all!!!!
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